The Gargle - Pope | Audio porn | Misinformation

Episode Date: January 27, 2023

James Nokise and James Colley join host Alice Fraser for episode 97 of The Gargle, the weekly topical comedy podcast - with no politics!✝️ Pope popping off🗣 Audio porn📧 SB-F Substack💉 Vax... misinformation 🧘🏻‍♂️ ReviewsProduced by Ped Hunter and Chris Skinner.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, it's producer Chris from The Bugle here. Did you know that I have a new series of my podcast, Richie Firth Travel Hacker, out now? It's the show where Richie Firth and I talk about how to make travel better in our very special way. In this series, we discuss line bikes, Teslas, the London overground, and a whole bunch of other random stuff that possibly involves wheels
Starting point is 00:00:22 or tracks or engines of some variety. God, what a hot sell this is. I mean, you must be so excited. Listen now. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite.
Starting point is 00:00:49 Cycling has Lance Armstrong. Baseball has its steroid era. Curling has... Broomgate. It's a story of broken relationships, houses divided, corporate rivalry, and a performance-enhancing broom. It was a year I'd like to forget. Broomgate, available now. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere.
Starting point is 00:01:20 Acast.com. This is a podcast from The Bugle. It's been a long day at the end of a long week at the end of a long month. The year has been a regular length. Your life so far, well, you won't know what proportion of it you've already passed until it's over, so it's not worth thinking about that. You've finished that report at work. You've unclogged the drain.
Starting point is 00:01:42 You've solved the mystery of who killed your spouse. Now you just want to sit back and turn your brain off. You pour a drink, open brackets, unspecified, close brackets, bring up YouTube, and type in those four perfect words. Rick Astley. Never. Gonna. Sometimes happiness is as simple as you autocomplete me. You click through to the first link, and those heart-stopping, chart-topping moments
Starting point is 00:02:05 sink into your ears. Yes, it's the gargle. The Sonic glossy magazine to the Bugles Audio newspaper for Visual World. All of the news, none of the politics. I'm your host, Alice Fraser. Never going to give you up. Your guest editors for this week's edition of the magazine
Starting point is 00:02:18 are James Nwokise and James Colley. Yeah! Hello. Yay! It's a double James. Yeah, the double J. We always love that. That in Australia translates to some music that was popular in the 80s
Starting point is 00:02:31 and hasn't been since. They had to kick the, like, the old people had already, so the youth channel is Triple J. The old people had been already kicked off, but there was the middle ground of the people who weren't willing to accept they were old yet but were mad that the youth radio station had songs they didn't recognise. So they brought back a new station called Double J,
Starting point is 00:02:52 which is for the, no, you're still young. Here's a band whose last hit was in 1996. Well, before we take hands and leap into this week's edition of the magazine, let's have a quick look at the front cover. edition of the magazine. Let's have a quick look at the front cover. Breaking news. Scientists are warning that within six months we will reach the happening. That's where everyone that was rebooted from the 80s will be complete and they'll start rebooting the reboots. The front cover this week is Australia posing with the controversy about Australia Day. And the satirical cartoon this week is the population of Australia dealing with the politics of Australia Day slash Invasion Day. No, sorry.
Starting point is 00:03:29 That's just a picture of 80 frogs holding knives made out of history and nation state identity politics in an all out frog fight. Never bring a frog to a frog fight. You just end up with more of a frog fight. James Colley, how did you celebrate Invasion Day? Well, I can't say I was hugely celebrating it, but I do think that would be quite a good satirical cartoon because if they are cane toads, that is an introduced species that has destroyed a whole lot of natural habitat and ruined the lives of so many people. So I think for once the satirical cartoon is really on the money
Starting point is 00:04:03 for this one. Well, for once. Don't tell me that my satirical cartoons aren is really on the money for this one. Well, for once, don't tell me that my satirical cartoons aren't always on the money. Such a backhanded compliment, James. Yeah, sorry, sorry. How dare I? Once again, the satirical cartoon has nailed it.
Starting point is 00:04:18 Our top story today is our Pope popping off news, and this is the news from about a week ago now, but it was too good not to share, which is that Pope Francis just f***ed the cat this week. I'm hoping we're using bleeps here. He just, he just f***ed the cat. The Pope has shocked seminarians
Starting point is 00:04:37 in a potty-mouthed Pope speech that scandalized everyone who thinks that a Pope should only say nice things. James Nukise, you're the son of God. Can you unpack this story for us? Well, my dad will probably not deny that claim. Again, and I don't want to be stereotyped here on the gargle as the Presbyterian who's always making jokes about Catholics. But once again, the Catholics have f***ed up. Where's that is old Pope Franci, the non-Nazi Pope as he's known, he's come out and he has done an off-the-cuff address in Spain. He's just
Starting point is 00:05:17 riffed off the top of his pointy hat. Which is extraordinary to see a Pope do an off-the-cuff speech because so much of their outfit is just cuff. it's all cups cuffs on the head cuffs on the wrists uh if you lift up little gowns probably a little bit of cuffing they won't cuff is their priests that deserve to be in cuffs that's true this is the crux of it priests who deny penitence absolution uh if you do not give absolution then not only are you a bad priest, you are a delinquent priest. You are a naughty teenager from the 1960s to 1980s. You think that's the only time that delinquents have existed? I think that's the only time old people refer to delinquents.
Starting point is 00:06:04 Delinquent took over from the menace. But the main thing, as you've alluded to, Alice, is during the speech, he was swearing. The Pope was swearing and also kind of in theologically shaky ground in terms of what is Catholic doctrine and what he's actually announcing. Now, we all know our Latino brothers and sisters who, around the New Year's time, have been in the motherland and just gone off on a tangent, but you don't necessarily expect it from the Pope. Well, he called them f***ing careerists, which I enjoyed very much. He said...
Starting point is 00:06:45 It doesn't sound like something the Pope would say. It sounds like something one of us would say after a whiskey in the green room. Yeah. Well, he did that classic thing where he looked at his speech and then he threw it away, like somebody giving a speech in a movie. He said, he threw this away, He said it was boring. And then he said, if we deny absolution, we become a vehicle for evil, unjust and moralistic judgment. And then he said, those who suck up for promotion are careerists who fuck up the lives of others, which I think is extraordinary.
Starting point is 00:07:19 I just think that is the priest we want. This is the Pope for the new age. I just want to say thank you, Alice, for bypassing the indoctrinated mindset I had where for some reason I couldn't say the swear words. As soon as you said it, I was like, why didn't I just say that? And it's like, oh, it's still in there. I mean, you're allowed to say it.
Starting point is 00:07:39 The Pope has said it. I think it's now compulsory to say it. I think I'm... They're f***ing careerists. The next time somebody comes up to me after a show and says, oh, you know, young women shouldn't swear, I can say the f***ing Pope does it, mate. Does the Pope say f*** in the woods?
Starting point is 00:07:55 I don't know if the woods are in Spain. I think this is great because I love the idea that the Pope is embroiled in middle management trauma. Does the pope care about careerists man do you think kev is white anting you to god meetings with the messiah and phil is pitching ideas that you had already pitched but he pitches it louder and more confidently like this is the kind of drama i want him in and i i love this proclamation as well that you have to get absolution even if you are not willing to change this is a huge win for guys like me who want to be better people but
Starting point is 00:08:33 don't want to do any work towards it or fundamentally change it anyway just like get a run into it like i think it goes this is how the confessional is supposed to work now it's like forgive me father for i have sinned my son have you any intention of stopping the sin not hugely no i rather enjoy it sitting kind of slaps honestly well then you do you your little scamp enjoy heaven this is this is a religion i can actually kind of get behind your ad section now because you can't be what you can't buy. Does this sound like you? Huh, a spider. That is not enough spiders. Does this sound like you? Oh God, oh God, so many spiders. That is too many spiders. Are you covered in too many spiders but worried that if you weren't covered in any spiders at all, you'd be lonely, then you need some spiders.
Starting point is 00:09:25 Not too many spiders. Not no spiders. Some spiders. Like Goldinox and the three bears, but with spiders. Since Prometheus got his liver eagled in the original grittiest pre-boot of Groundhog Day, the allure of fire to man has been its danger. We have tamed fire so well that people buy candles just for the smell. Decorative candles, mocked for their inability to burn even a child's birthday cake.
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Starting point is 00:10:18 stone and you could wear the same gown to two balls you could kill birds like a cool person with morlob's custom birdstone. A different stone for every bird. We believe in diversity, inclusivity and that everyone deserves to be somewhat hydrated. That's why we're proud to introduce half a glass of wet.
Starting point is 00:10:39 It's half a glass of water but for people who don't know the word for water. Half a glass of wet. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite. Cycling has Lance Armstrong. Baseball has its steroid era. Curling has Broomgate. It's a story of broken relationships, houses divided, corporate rivalry, and a performance enhancing broom. It was a year I'd like to forget.
Starting point is 00:11:25 Broomgate. was a year I'd like to forget. Broomgate. Available now. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts. Everywhere. Acast.com. Ah, yeah! I know for a lot of the listeners here that we are the only audio porn that you need. This story is the news that women,
Starting point is 00:11:54 specifically women, are turning to audio porn in droves, presumably inspired by Dancy Lagarde's audio series of pornographic books. James Colley, you listen to the radio can you unpack this audio porn tale yeah sure uh so uh this is the story of the erotic audio app quinn uh now this this has a blistering opening because it starts by claiming that one of the creators on the app zach colwood who uh also records a good number of the erotic stories is responsible for as the article puts it half a million female orgasms and counting which means
Starting point is 00:12:32 between the two of us we are responsible for half a million and one female orgasms and counting though one of those may have been faked now this is an amazing uh setup for this app so this is like the run in uh horny sounds horny sounds for women horny sounds for women is a uh burgeoning industry uh i really like this because it's a scenario based situation which i would say all pornography is they just don't put a heap of effort into the scenarios it's more pizza mishap is the tends to be the genre or thing or family situation that will surely get awkward very soon but these have a more a more depth of story let's say that it pushes on imagination like to quote zach uh he said the first half of all of my audios aren't even explicit. It's just a boyfriend audio.
Starting point is 00:13:28 It's, hey, you're getting home. Let's sit down and talk about your day. What's the good news? What's the bad news? Let's reaffirm any boundaries we have. I think that guy is cheating on you. If your boyfriend says, hey, sit sit down can i rub your feet hey just checking can we reaffirm the rules of monogamy just in case we're both a little hazy oh god it's crazy how i keep forgetting
Starting point is 00:13:54 how it works i think there's something going on there so also like this presumes that he's just talking to you and not responding personally to any of the answers that you give he's completely on autopilot i don't think you need a pretend boyfriend for this i think you can just get anyone who's not paying attention to your needs actually to run a script at you i also think that um it's amazing what a success this has been now um part of this is that he keeps claiming that imagination is a huge part of this and uh like there's understandable parts of it pornography doesn't hugely cater to women and it's often you know kind of a little seedy and this is trying to uh i guess add some depth to it and people love depth
Starting point is 00:14:39 but this app is a massive success with three quarters of a million users, which is why I think today we should all work together and announce our own spinoff podcast, The Snuggle, audio pornography for a sterile world. If we can work together, I think we can really sex up the rest of this podcast. Well, I certainly want all of our listeners to imagine that while we deliver all of these lol-worthy lines, we're spooning you. all of our listeners to imagine that while we deliver all of these lol worthy lines we're spooning you um because that's what it feels like to have a comedian as a partner just somebody cuddling up behind you uh needily trying to get you to tell them if their bits are working or not and by bits i do not mean sexy bits that's such a good we've got to submit that as our first scenario is this bit working hey baby baby is this thing on i mean when i was first reading about this i was like oh i mean maybe this is
Starting point is 00:15:31 better maybe this would be better for me conceptually than than visually engaging pornography which i spent a lot of my time just thinking what a feat of mainly stamina it looks like on the part of mainly the women it just looks very as somebody who used to run long distance i'm just like that just give that lady a power aid is somebody solving her chafing issues it doesn't look comfortable and i feel like they're not necessarily good enough actors to make it look like i mean i feel like pornography mainstream pornography is only really good if you're really turned on by really bad acting so do you think that then tom hanks and helen mirren could drop the hottest porn of the year if they really like if you really put your
Starting point is 00:16:11 your character work into it i think that would be a charming american pornography 100 100 just get a couple of dames in there uh for the realism because this is the problem. Suspending the disbelief is the real issue here, which I think is not actually relieved by it being only audio because I've now done enough audio in my life that I'd just be listening for the production value, you know? I'd just be like, ooh, I wonder what their sound booth is like. That's such a I'm-reading-the-playboy-for-the-articles bullshit lie. Oh, no, I'm just...
Starting point is 00:16:44 It's the audio production that I'm interested in personally. Oh, no, I'm just, it's the audio production that I'm interested in personally. Oh, it just sounds so roomy, you know, just sounds so. I mean, she's peaking, but he's peaking, if you know what I mean. I'm just so confused because I feel like this is for people under 40. Oh, God, can you imagine the boomer parents trying
Starting point is 00:17:06 to get their children to help them access this pornography? He's talking, he's asking me how my day's going. Has it started? It's very nice. It's very polite. Blasting on a Bluetooth speaker that's set up in the barbecue area out the back. I just felt like back in the day, I don't want to patronize any listeners,
Starting point is 00:17:26 but back in the day, you could just phone someone and they'd do porn to you down the phone. There was a whole business model. No, I am into this. I'm into giving your boomer parents this app as their birthday present and waiting for them to desperately try and disconnect it from the Sonos speakers. There's a per factor here that like
Starting point is 00:17:45 i i really like audiobooks i still love audiobooks and i hate when a sex scene starts when i'm like grocery shopping or something they're like what if one of my headphones falls out and the local priest hears it and i am immediately kicked out of this war worse like i worry about the the public ramifications of this podcast though i suppose you could also watch pornhub it's just harder to hide but but you do keep listening to the sex scene while you're doing your shopping yeah i have to listen to something while i'm jerking off at the grocery store i don't really i would find it difficult to concentrate with people shagging in my head while I'm trying to.
Starting point is 00:18:30 Why do I keep going back to the courgettes? Did you get stuff for dinner? No, I got courgette, some salsa. I don't know what that's about. I have 12 cucumbers and I'm ready to cook. Do you think people are out there actually listening to porn while they go shopping? I mean, it seems obvious, right? But do you go like, get your headphones, go to Pornhub, go, you know what?
Starting point is 00:18:55 Let's make this a good shop. Boom. Clean up in aisle five. Now it's time for your reviews. As you know, each week we ask our guest editors to bring in something to review out of five stars. James Nukise, what have you brought in for us this week? Alice, I've brought a crime. I've brought a crime from New Zealand.
Starting point is 00:19:15 It's a very New Zealand crime, James. Waiheke Island, which is a small island off the coast of Auckland. I'm going to be there next week. Well, there you go. It translates to, heck, there's a lot of white people here. I will be one of those. Why, hecky. For about a year now, someone, and I must say,
Starting point is 00:19:38 this is a true crime story being investigated by New Zealand police and covered by the national news at the moment for over a week now, for a year, someone has been leaving sausages in bread, sometimes with tomato sauce, sometimes without, in letterboxes around Waiheke Island. And no one knows who it is, And no one knows who it is or why they're doing it or what it means, but it's freaking everybody out. And it's become a nationwide story. Waiheke Sausage Watch. It's been covered on the primetime news and magazine channels, and people are just trying to figure out who's doing it, why they're doing it, and what it means. I also want you to
Starting point is 00:20:25 know that this is right now the most famous crime in New Zealand for quite some time. I mean, that sounds amazing. It's like the reverse thief, but the worst reverse thief. Do you have any theories on who's your main suspect? Well, here's the funny thing. On Waiheke Island, there stays occasionally a man who's very famous in New Zealand, and he is known as the Mad Butcher. And I'll be honest, he's probably suspect number one. Now, you're probably going, oh, is he famous? He's quite famous for two things, one, being a butcher that sells discount prices, and two, supporting Rugby League. And he's such a great supporter of local communities and rugby league
Starting point is 00:21:05 that he was knighted several years ago so sir mad butcher is probably the key suspect and who's putting free sausages in the letterboxes around the small island in new zealand and i'm just looking forward to netflix deciding to make a mini seriesseries out of this. Hopefully I'll get cast as one of the sausages. How many is that out of five, James? Well, look, I'm going to give it three, but with tomato sauce, it's going to go to four. That's pretty good. Especially if you don't have to pay for the tomato sauce.
Starting point is 00:21:36 We live in these beleaguered times. I'm old enough to remember when tomato sauce was free. Would you take a letterbox sausage? I feel like I wouldn't take a letterbox sausage. What stage of our artistic careers are we in when the sausage appears? How early in the arts journey are we when the sausage appears in our letterbox for free? I hate that I know I would absolutely eat it.
Starting point is 00:22:00 I would need a timestamp on the sausage. You're a rookie comic. Podcasts haven't been invented yet. You're not sure if you're going to be able to pay rent. And then a sausage appears in the letterbox. I just feel like what we're missing is the part of this story where somebody is exhaustively describing in detail the placement of the sausage inside the letterbox and selling it as audio pornography.
Starting point is 00:22:24 You can put your sausage inside my letterbox, she said wistfully. James, Collie, what have you brought in for us to review this week? I'm bringing in this week meditation. I want to have a mindful start. I started meditating in the new year. I was pushed by a friend who said it would really change your life if you started meditating once a day. And I was keen. I love the idea of becoming one with everything. It's my favorite order. So unfortunately, the stress of having to meditate every day and the push notification that comes to my phone and then to my wrist being like, you meditated yet have you have you been mindful are you more mindful than you were you need to be more mindful here are your stats on mindfulness
Starting point is 00:23:08 for the past month it's really starting to stress me out and if meditation in itself hasn't stressed me out enough i did try one where i spent the last couple of weeks working on a show in a service department away from my family uh in a city as well. I didn't just pack up and say, sorry, guys, I'm going to an apartment near you. I was in a different city. But I was staying in this place and I decided to do a short meditation called Finding the Joy in Your Life. Lovely concept. And I closed my eyes and it told me to think about color in your life and appreciating color all around you. And when you open your eyes again, notice and really take stock of the colours in the room around you.
Starting point is 00:23:50 And so I opened my eyes and the sheets were white. The bed frame was black. The walls were white. The carpet was grey. The curtains were dark grey. The ironing board I still had set out had a white base with a grey board and a white iron on it. And above the bed was a bit of corporate art in a black frame that showed an abstract grey mountain shape on a white background.
Starting point is 00:24:07 I deleted the app and I found some joy in doing that, so I will say two stars. Two stars for the meditation app. And now it's time for an ongoing story that I think is not getting enough coverage in the mainstream news, given that it's one of the largest financial crimes possibly in human history and this is our FTX update for the week and this is the news that Sam Bankman-Fried has launched a sub stack.
Starting point is 00:24:37 Sam Bankman-Fried who's been on an ongoing national tour, international tour of all of the internet where he's tried to explain his story, told a million lies, seems to think that he can out-dance justice, has decided to launch the most internet of outlets, a sub-stack, in which he describes all of the things that he did in the past incredibly inaccurately. James Nwokise, you are interested in cryptocurrency scams. Can you unpack this story for us? As you said, Alice, the strangest looking fraud man in the world, Sam Bankman. He's lost his sub stack, which it's very hard to understand what he's trying to do.
Starting point is 00:25:22 Because to our two-dimensional thinking, he's trying to do because to our two-dimensional thinking he's trying to prove his innocence but he's he's got stuff going in here where he's he's thrown he's just written i'll just read you a quote i'll just read you a quote from uh the man himself i didn't see all funds and i certainly didn't stash billions away nearly all of my assets were and still are usable to backstop FTX customers. I have, for instance, offered to contribute nearly all my personal shares in Robinhood to customers or 100% if the Chapter 11 team would honor my DNO legal expense identification, which sounds like something, but it's absolutely nothing. So put it in layman's terms, it's I'll give you the money,
Starting point is 00:26:11 but they won't let me have my money, but I'd give you the money. Yeah, I'm not legally entitled to my money because I stole it, I'd like to mention, but if I had the money, I'd give it to the people I stole it from because I've been caught. But important. It's extraordinary behaviour. The legal principle is, oh, I'm good for it. No, come on, I'm good for it. This is how tech bros beg for their lives.
Starting point is 00:26:31 They just get a sub stack and they're like, oh, man, next week, can I get it to you? The Godfather 4 is going to suck. Yeah. Pacino's nephew just absolutely rips off the mafia and then launches a sub stack while hiding from them from around the world. For somebody who managed to sell so many people on the concept of imaginary beanie babies, the value of which was backed by imaginary tulips from history. I don't think he's wrong to believe that he can talk anyone into anything. It's just
Starting point is 00:27:03 that I don't think you can talk anyone into anything When you've been arrested and are currently wearing an ankle bracelet It sort of takes some of the jazz hands out of your presentation, you know? Yeah, you can't really be a magician doing the trick Once people have seen how the trick's done I mean, you can still do the trick But you can't pretend it's mystical powers anymore I think there is a bit of this where like
Starting point is 00:27:24 It's sad to see that breakdowns aren't fun anymore what happened to dyeing your hair like just peroxiding yourself or you know they're like the coney guy getting naked and have running down the street like starting a sub stack man that's that's just pretty up and also it's a classic mistake famously when you have a major crime what you do is you go to prison first then you start writing and it becomes a really thoughtful and interesting book you can't do it beforehand being like oh actually i'm super innocent of this that's the oj principle we know this the book isn't good and no one believes it anyway what has happened to crime shame like
Starting point is 00:28:06 what has happened to going out of the house uh and being ushered to the police van with like a coat over your head this i mean i feel like the way that sam bagman free is going is if he's ushered to the car he'll be like posing for selfies or if he has a coat under his over his head he'll be podcasting under it on the way to the court i don't know if he understands that the judge is not going to be subscribed to his sub stack i do like part of this like there's an easier way to get through this which is like he's an easy way than having to set up your sub stack because you have never seen a friend set up a sub stack and be like i bet their bank account is going great i bet their bank account
Starting point is 00:28:45 and mental health are tip top and this will be a fantastic rollicking read but there's a way for us to do this so if instead of going through all the rigmarole of setting up a sub stack he say appeared in court to face the eight criminal charges then we could have someone there doing a kind of live sub stack on a little typewriter that could then be publicly distributed to everyone. It would be in newspapers. There might even be film footage for those of us who prefer the movie to the book. I think that's a simpler way to go about it. He's sort of a rat compulsively going after the cheese if the cheese is people's attention and his just unflagging belief in his ability to make people believe
Starting point is 00:29:25 what he says if he just says it hard enough. The only thing I think would be interesting is if there was a twist where just like eight sub-stack newsletters in, he just writes a small confession in there and then just keeps going. And just for the people who've stayed with him, it's like, look, if you say, oh, just starts dropping hints, every sub-stack, he just finishes with, of course, and next time I'll be confessing, dot, dot, dot, and it gets to the next sub stack. Oh, no, it's behind the paid tier and the paywall. And then in the middle
Starting point is 00:29:56 of the court, the findings that the judge says, I need you to tell me the truth. And he'll say, I'm sorry, judge, you have to subscribe. if you want to find out the truth behind this link. For our premium subscribers, I will admit one crime I did and we can have a personal one-on-one lunch that will last an hour at a restaurant of your choice. This is his OnlyFans strategy. Just reveal one more sexy crime. I love OnlyFrauds. Okay, we've got to create the snuggle
Starting point is 00:30:26 We've got to create only frauds There's a lot of work to be done after this episode We are the worst tech entrepreneurs Well second worst He's still out there This is our final story for today Misinformation news now And that's not the daughter of
Starting point is 00:30:42 Mr Information and Mrs Information This is the news that anti-vaxxers in America have made the hashtag died suddenly go viral. And then it went extra viral when people who could read got on board and realised that suddenly isn't spelled with three Ds. James Colley, you can spell. Can you unpack this story for us yeah so this is a trending topic uh most people would check the dictionary they did their own research and found
Starting point is 00:31:11 out how to spell it uh died suddenly is uh something that gets subscribed to anyone who dies anyone who dies now who ever had the vaccine which is the vast vast majority of the population who i will remind you were also dying before covid uh are now part of this massive conspiracy and whenever this happens anyone anyone who has a medical issue anyone who passed away or just has some uh shocking thing happen to them is then uh brought in by this cause It's like a very like Mormon baptism way of going about your medical research. And my favorite one that they brought in. So this is included recently.
Starting point is 00:31:51 There's an NFL player for the Bills, a guy named Jamar Hamlin, who went into cardiac arrest on the field. It was a very scary story. He had to be revived on the field. He made an incredible recovery. But on that specific one, they claim this as part of the results of vaccine.
Starting point is 00:32:09 I would say he was pretty clearly playing heavy contact football. And I, I look, a lot of these are a stretch, but that one's a cat in the morning, big old stretch. Look at how far you can go. Cause I love watching the NFL and I can say I'm never doubting how they got injured I think when you run head first into a 150 kilogram man who's also running head first into you you never see them both drop to the ground and go must have been that Pfizer that got them I just I just don't think I think if we're going through the occam's razor here it doesn't come up part of me is impressed at the dogged determination to still push on with these things now i spent a lot of time in melbourne i've lived in melbourne a long time one of the most locked down cities on earth it has also not been in lockdown for quite a while now but every weekend
Starting point is 00:33:02 the anti-lockdown protesters are still out. I think they're allowed to be because we're not in lockdown anymore and protesting against the idea of it. And this died suddenly is just the latest little, shall we say, death rattle of this movement. But it's amazing that they pushed it because so, so many people are still alive. And that really hurts the argument. And the longer so many people are still alive. And that really hurts the argument.
Starting point is 00:33:26 And the longer so many people are still alive, the harder it becomes because you have to be like, well, yeah, the first four were fine, but it's the fifth booster that really gets you. That's the one where they put the chemicals and the mind drones in. How they must wish for a mass extinction event that kills millions, like COVID. covid would be a great example of something that happened that killed a lot of people but unfortunately
Starting point is 00:33:49 the vaccine has kind of stopped that from happening a bit james no kise how do you feel about this story well you know uh in my experience of the pandemic i've bumped into two types of people who are against the vaccines uh people who just hate mandates in general and have misplaced the normal hate for their government for just any hate for science, and then people who are just like, we can't trust the government or scientists or government scientists,
Starting point is 00:34:21 but also we can't trust the Jews and and gays and then there's like and it always spirals out i mean the wonderful thing about america is it never stays in its lane when it's bigotry is it they're always like okay it's we're against the science and the homosexuals and like it somehow always mutates if you will into something slightly beyond the control of the people who are trying to contain the anti-vaccine to just one thing. And then suddenly it gets beyond that. And then other people are being drawn in as well. And it's just spreading beyond the need of their control. I think my problem is that I totally understand not trusting the government.
Starting point is 00:34:59 And I know that there are plenty of institutions that are corrupt and easily manipulable. And I think that's all very reasonable to pay attention to is that you should be careful about who you trust. I don't really understand why you decide not to trust the government, but you do decide to trust somebody who has a wig made out of hats and a hat made out of wigs. Because the person with the wig made out of hats, he goes, hey, you, you who trust me, you, you're smart for trusting me. You go, oh, no one's ever called me smart before. Because my thing is my mates who aren't into the vaccine, they were dumb before. Like they're not suddenly, they were never the guys we went to,
Starting point is 00:35:40 hey man, what do you think about this vaccine? Like he'll have the answer. We were like, whatever you do do don't give him something sharp like i think a lot of this is it's it's nice to be in a club like this is energy that before this started was like heavily pushed into who's launched against the vice principal of a cricket club like these used to be like about who actually has the best sponge cake at the fair and how it's all messed up and it's not true and it's all just friendship groups and things like that it's like it's like we talk about a lot of like uh bug classifiers that along for a long time there were a lot more people who found their happiness classifying bugs in their backyard and that was a something that was just a thing people did that ended up being very very useful
Starting point is 00:36:31 to our general knowledge as a population i feel like the people who say that they don't trust experts are generally just don't trust experts when they disagree with their vibes on like a particular political thing like you're not going to uh you're not going to get your grandma to fix your car. You do trust an expert when it's something like building a bridge or if your kidney's fallen out. I don't think you're just going to trust the guy on the internet who says to buy his book at that point. I think you want the guy who's had some experience putting
Starting point is 00:37:05 kidneys back in. I do think the one thing, the positive to come out of this that we don't talk about enough is that it has really lit Facebook back up. Like Facebook was on the ropes as far as a platform goes. And now you can find some of the most fun and cook stuff and everyone on the whole platform is always at the end of their rope there is no other like people say like twitter's mean and instagram's unbelievable all these things no one is just sick of the world like every single post on facebook every single one can start with i've had enough of this or i am fed up or you won't believe what's happened today like you know it's the social networking site for people who are about to throw up their window and
Starting point is 00:37:51 scream out into the city that's all the time we have for the show i'm flipping through the ads at the back uh james no keys i have you got anything to plug? I have a new podcast on February 9th called Fair Game Pacific Rugby Against the World, which is all about Pacific athletes getting screwed over by world rugby. Or is it? You'll have to listen to find out. Oh, exciting. James Colley, what have you got to plug? I have a book coming out with pantera press uh called the next big thing uh if you would like to pre-order it you can't because i haven't finished writing it yet and it's due pretty soon so i'm just saying it on this podcast so i can
Starting point is 00:38:37 bully myself into getting back to work and finishing it off excellent uh i have launched season two of my Tea with Alice podcast. I did 300 episodes and that was season one. And then I took a year off to have a baby. And now I am doing it again. It's much higher quality than season one, which I was the editor and producer of. Now I have a producer and an editor,
Starting point is 00:39:01 or should I say a peditor, which is to say the same editor as this podcast uh pedhunter you can find me online at patreon.com slash alicefraser that's a one-stop shop full of my stand-up special podcasts and blogs as well as my tea with alice salons and my weekly writers meetings if you want to come and write with me that's the place to go this is a bugle podcast and alicefraser production your editor is Ped Hunter. Your executive producer is Chris Skinner. I'll talk to you again next week. You can listen to other programs from The Bugle,
Starting point is 00:39:31 including The Bugle, Catharsis, Tiny Revolutions, Top Stories and The Gargle, wherever you find your podcasts.

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