The Gargle - Texting Jesus | Virgin non-birth | High heist

Episode Date: August 31, 2023

Josh Gondelman and Caitlin Cook join host Alice Fraser for episode 126 of The Gargle - the glossy magazine to The Bugle's audio newspaper for a visual world.All of the news, none of the politics!📱 Texting Jesus🥺 Virgin non-birth🏔 High altitude heist🤿 Bog snorkelling🌚 Blue supermoon 🌈 ReviewsHOW TO SUPPORT THE GARGLEPre-order the D'Ancey LaGuarde Reader book here! http://l8r.it/DHhGAdvertise YOUR business on The Gargle with an Alice Fraser ad read. Contact [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's producer Chris from The Bugle here. Did you know that I have a new series of my podcast, Richie Firth Travel Hacker, out now? It's the show where Richie Firth and I talk about how to make travel better in our very special way. In this series, we discuss line bikes, Teslas, the London overground, and a whole bunch of other random stuff that possibly involves wheels

or tracks or engines of some variety. God, what a hot sell this is. I mean, you must be so excited. Listen now. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite.

Cycling has Lance Armstrong. Baseball has its steroid era. Curling has... Broomgate. It's a story of broken relationships, houses divided, corporate rivalry, and a performance-enhancing broom. It was a year I'd like to forget. Broomgate, available now. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere.

Acast.com. This is a podcast from The Bugle. steered deliberately towards the rocks. But salvage is salvage, and with the trade routes cut by local wars, this village has long since lost its ability to survive on its farming and fishing alone. So it is that some with guilt and some with glee and some with an unholy mix of the two stir through the shattered detritus of what was once a proud warship laden with booty.

A pile of wet rags heaves, the wreckers draw back, silent with the wary caution of the vulture. A clutching, a coughing, the time for a swift and plausibly deniable awe to the head is gone. Though they could, they won't. It's an unspoken part of this grim sin that the violence is all in lies unspoken and signals misgiven. These are not fighting folk. The damp rags heave again and a figure rises to its knees, croaking. It coughs, spits, tries again.

Help! Is anyone here listening to the gargle? This is the gargle, the sonic glossy magazine to the Bugle's audio newspaper for a visual world. I'm your host, Alice Fraser, and your guest editors for this week's edition of the magazine are Caitlin Cook. Welcome. Hello. Thanks for having me. Sir Delight and Josh Gondelman. Hello. A pleasure to be here with you. How's it all going on the strike front? You know, it's been intense and heavy, but the solidarity from within the membership and with other groups has been really amazing. There was a big AFL-CIO National Day of Union Solidarity that was incredible

with teachers and ironworkers and laborers and so many people coming out. And after we record this, I'm going to a picket in solidarity with the flight attendants who are announcing results of their own strike authorization vote. So by the time this airs, that will be, I think, public information. But I'm psyched. It's like been a really wild summer. Ding, ding, ding, hit the politics bell, Ped. This is not the place for that. Sorry, I blew it. I meant I love walking in circles because my calves are so blasted now. I've got huge legs.

That's predominantly. I see the strike mostly as a fitness endeavor for my lower body, while my upper body becomes somehow increasingly gelatinous. Weighted signs is what I recommend. endeavor for my lower body while my upper body becomes somehow increasingly gelatinous. Weighted weighted signs is what I recommend. That's good and then double fisted. Before we set forth in the rickety curricle towards the thundering world's end waterfall that is this week's top stories let's have a look at the front page. The front cover of this week's magazine is Henry Cavill prosing provocatively in front of rumours that he will star in the reboot of Highlander.

If the gods are kind, they will end the writer's strike and pay writers good enough money to carry off this extraordinary premise. Though if I don't get to see people with the aggressively wrong accents for what are truly arbitrary national backstories, I will be furious. I mean, watching a Frenchman explain haggis to Sean Connery, please, again. Are you a Highlander fan, Caitlin? I'm not a Highlander fan.

You will be. I think I will be if this happens, if Henry Cavill stars in this, then yes, I'll be a Highlander fan. Are you not a fan of Highlander knowing there can be only one and it's not you? Yes, exactly. Kind of a Highlander jealousy. Yes.

Well, the satirical cartoon this week is Spanish football. That's it. Just a Where's Wally football image or Where's Waldo soccer pic if you're American, which includes a non-consensual smooch, a lady being sued for being smooched, a mother on hunger strike, and a lot of old men seriously embarrassing themselves in defence of a harmless piece of aggressive public smooching that could have been made to go away with an, Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I was carried away and was inappropriate.

To be fully fair, though, men's soccer celebrations are the most sexual thing I've ever seen on free-to-air television. And if you're not having your butt cheeks triumphantly motorboated by your celebrating teammates, how do you know you've scored a goal? Did you watch the soccer finals, Josh? I missed them, but I've seen the smooch, which is bad. A bad smooch. Although, Alice, I feel like you might have watched an alternate version of Dead Lasso.

You might have seen the porn parody Dead Asso. I would have gone with Bad Lasso, but that's better. Oh, yours is better. You know what they say. It's all a matter of perspective. First thought, worst thought. And that brings us to our top story for today. Text with Jesus news now.

And this is the news that chat GPT is now allowing people to text with Jesus. Caitlin Cook, you love texting. Can you unpack this story for us a bit? Sure. I mean, this is really cool because now we know that Jesus is real and God is AI. And that just makes sense. I've seen a lot of uses of chat GPT, but this one,

this seems pretty great. You know, now you can really connect with God. We've got this app development company allowing people to message with God. Let's see. Protagonists like Ruth job and Abraham's nephew. A lot. Wow. Not just Jesus, not just God. Let's see. Protagonists like Ruth, Job, and Abraham's nephew, Lot. Wow. Not just Jesus,

not just God. Biblical figures. That's crazy. I mean, you text Lot, what was it like to see your wife as a pillar of salt? Was it hard? Why did you give up your only son? Why? You know, you can really get behind their own personal stories outside of the Bible. I think that's really cool. I read this article and I was like, I'm going to download it. I was raised an atheist. I'm going to download it. It really is what sold me. There is a God. It is delightful that they've invented, this is the use that they have for artificial intelligence, which is to replicate the voices of the people from the Bible. I sort of think it's a bit of an odd move though, because it's

not like there's that much character backstory to a lot of biblical, and they. I sort of think it's a bit of an odd move, though, because it's not like there's that much character backstory to a lot of biblical. And they tend to sort of share the same voice, as it were, from a writer's perspective. But Josh, who would you text? Oh, man, it would certainly be more fun. If you're talking about rich backstory, I'm texting with hobbits.

Lord on high? No, Lord of the Rings. That's who I'm texting. It would be fun to troll Judas. Oh yeah, that's right. See you at dinner, Judas. Just kidding, not after last time. This whole thing to me is a little sketchy. I understand asking, what would Jesus do? WWJD, of course, but not assuming, you know, HWJT, how would Jesus text? That's the problem. The bot allegedly was programmed not to say offensive opinions about issues like gender identity and sexuality. And it's like, yeah, of course, Jesus wouldn't say offensive things about those issues. He was Jesus. He wasn't like do unto others as you'd have them do unto you. Unless they're Portuguese, those people can suck it, right?

I'm psyched for a lot of people who claim to be religious to tell Jesus what they're about, right, via text. Just like, hey, Jesus, just going to the Westboro Baptist Church rally, only for Jesus to be like, whoa, I didn't say any of that shit. The preacher who told you that owns how many airplanes and backing up just a little bit. What the hell is an airplane? You don't need Jesus as God woke now. I know. I know that. I'm sorry to bring my new age, 2023 multicultural intersectional Jesus into this, uh, is a strict departure from the Bible.

You can text Jesus, but can you sext him is what I want to know. Like what happens if you send him like a thirst trap, like maybe this is the last temptation of Christ with kind of the horny eyes welling up with tears emoji. You know that one? Is that a horny eye? Is that a horny one? I think if in the right context, it's the horny one. I haven't been sexting enough, obviously, in my life. I feel like this is a real tragedy. I guess it doesn't matter that he's been dead for thousands of years because last time it was a trick.

Flash miracle, sorry. Also, I thought the awakening thing was the Buddha's thing being watched. Really kind of biting his style. Although I do think it would be a fun bit for Jesus once a year to leave a group chat for three days and then return unexpectedly. And everyone's like, he's back. And that brings us to our ad section. Your ad section now, because you can't be what you can't buy. And this section of the show is brought to you by The Void.

In a world where you're looking for eye contact and everyone's on their phone, try assuaging your loneliness by looking into The Void. Sure, it's existentially terrifying, but you can assure yourself it's looking back. And this section of the show is brought to you by Burning Man, a gentrified desert celebration of living off-grid and amidst art attended mainly now by people rich enough to think that living without money for a week is a cool, fun game they can play. Burning Man.

Spend $10,000 on it today. Are you stuck in an airport holding pen for an hour, waiting for your bags eight hours after you're meant to leave on a flight? Try asking if there's any way you can get food for your hungry toddler they'll give you half a glass of water for free half a glass of water even c***s will give you one I'm sorry to maybe hear about your experience leaving fringe what are you talking about I have a brilliant imagination. That's not a thing that happened to me yesterday.

ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite. Cycling has Lance Armstrong. Baseball has its steroid era. Curling has... Broomgate.

It's a story of broken relationships, houses divided, corporate rivalry, and a performance-enhancing broom. It was a year I'd like to forget. Broomgate. Available now. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts. Everywhere. Acast.com. And this is time for couple desperate for a baby having sex the wrong way for four years news, which is the news that a couple who were desperate for a baby learned fairly recently that they'd been doing it wrong for many, many years, thereby giving the lie to the idea that it sort of sorts itself out if you just put two horny teens in the same bed for a long enough time and they will rub each

other into pregnancy uh josh gondelman you've been doing it wrong can you unpack this story yeah this does feel like a personal attack being asked to uh narrate this story this is fine it was you know many years uh of my early sexual life. I go, yeah, this seems this I could see this happening. A couple in China has been trying to have a baby for the past four years and just no luck. So they went to the doctor and the woman who is unnamed for obvious reasons said, you know, normally when we have intercourse, it's painful. And I think maybe I have some kind of gynecological disease. And the doctors examined her and they ruled her to be medically a virgin, which feels a little biblical to me.

But they they made a ruling. But they made a ruling and what they've discovered was for four years, every time this couple had sex, they were having anal sex unknowingly, which feels so statistically difficult to do by accident. It's like trying to make toast every morning and accidentally baking a souffle every day for four years in a row. Like at this point, I doubt that it's an accident. And this guy just needs to straight up tell his wife like, hey, I'm not ready for kids and this is what I've been doing to avoid it. Or the other way around. Although I do think if you are truly accidentally having anal sex for four years while trying to have a child, you shouldn't be allowed to have children. You're not ready.

If you somehow have one, Child Protective Services should just walk in the front door of your home and take them. And clearly, you'd never notice because you're only monitoring the back door. If this is what the virgin birth in the Bible was, though, that is a very different story. Joseph and Mary were trying to conceive and God was like, you know what? Just let me do it. These people don't know what they're doing. Well, I mean, on the bright side, this is one couple that is not going to insist that schools don't do sex ed. Leave it to us.

No. They're like, actually, we probably could have used a little bit more. It's just so beautiful that they found each other, you know? Right. I mean, it was unlikely given their chances of finding anything. It's almost amazing that they exist at all, given their lineage. Truly. Yeah, it's pretty incredible. Caitlin, I think that's really true, right? It's just like two adults in their 20s who don't know what a vagina is finding each other. They found each other.

And I think that's beautiful. That's a sign that true love really does exist. And in another six or seven years, maybe they'll find a clitoris. Maybe. And I also think if they're accidentally doing anal sex this long, they found their true calling, which is definitely porn. Yeah. accidentally doing anal sex this long they found their true calling which is definitely porn yeah hopefully they've been accidentally finding some lube because this sounds so undesirable i guarantee you that is a subgenre of porn we don't know what we're doing couple i would watch it just for that storyline yeah Yeah, it's not even amateur pornography. It's just full-on confused pornography.

Yeah, what's one step below amateur? I want to watch people put together IKEA furniture, but I've run through all those YouTube videos. Now it's time for your reviews. As you know, each week we ask our guest editors to bring in something to review out of five stars. Josh, what have you brought in for us this week? I've brought in rainbows.

Now, this is not, it's important to note, this is not symbolic or metaphorical. This is not a referendum on the LGBTQIA plus community for whom I have unconditional support. This is just about the natural phenomenon of rainbows, the bands of color we see in the sky after it rains. And the colors are brilliant, Alice and Caitlin. Although we could stand to shuffle up the usual red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet a little bit. It's a little repetitive at this point. And also indigo, that's just blue. What we're looking at is red, orange, yellow, green, blue, blue, violet. And it's time somebody stood up and

said it. Also, rainbows appear extremely fun to slide down, and yet I'm not allowed to slide down one. Certainly a point against. And they appear delicious, but they're impossible to taste, no matter what Skittles tell you. So it's a real mixed bag with rainbows. I'm going to give them still a strong 3.5 stars, although the LGBTQIA plus community still receives five out of five stars. Excellent. Caitlin, what have you brought in for us this week? I'll just say before that, literally, as you said, rainbows,bows it started raining here so i think you're pretty magical another that's another problem with rainbows they only happen when it rains come on how about some sunbows yeah come on i would love a sunbow yeah um the thing

that i brought in feels like a sunbow i just discovered it this week it is halotops pineapple popsicles it has been very hot here in New York. The only way to survive is I bike everywhere. So the only way to survive after getting home after a long, humid, hot, sweaty bike ride is a popsicle. And I just discovered these particular kinds of popsicles this week. They are not sponsoring me. I'm just obsessed with them.

I ate an entire package within one day. I was on mushrooms, so that may have factored in. But then I tried them soberly the next day. Still brilliant. They're amazing. They taste like ice cream. They're only 40 calories and they're delicious. Highly recommend if you like pineapple.

Five out of five. And if you like mushrooms. And if you like mushrooms, highly recommend. I do like pineapple. During my last pregnancy, it was my craving, and there was a point in the third trimester where I was eating about a pineapple a day. Wow.

Incredible. I think you'll love these. They're fantastic. What does that do to the relative proximity of doctors, a pineapple a day? It disproves the old wives' tale that it brings on labor. I was still, like, coming on it two weeks overdue. It's one of the things they recommend along with banging and eating chili and walking on curbs.

Walking on curbs? Basically anything that destabilizes your hips. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. High, high heist news now and this is the news of a high altitude heist which has taken place in Switzerland. This is really exciting. I think there should be a movie about this already. Caitlin you've climbed to the great heights of your career. Can you unpack this story for us? Yes so apparently in Switzerland there is this donation box at the the top of a very tall climbing path that's like normally protected and only uh climbers with like a level

five climbing score can get there uh and the donation box was smashed in and all of the money was stolen from this now this uh was only about, what did they say? Four to five, five hundred francs. And everyone's very confused because how could people steal this without great climbing skill? And for some reason, the confusion is if you have great climbing skill, why would you be a thief? You know, why not just be a celebrity climber? Really? And towards the end of this story i just love this moment of

the climbing club hoping that someone has a guilty conscience and returns the money but instead uh a nice local benefactor gave them 500 francs so all in all a happy story in the end well i mean this this backs up my theory that morality only weighs you down. So I'm all for these pinnacle thieves. This is an interesting story to me because the donation box could only have been robbed, right? As you said, Caitlin, by experienced practical climbers. So that means they spent a long time preparing for this heist and made off with $500, essentially. They're bad. Yeah.

and made off with $500, essentially. They're bad at their job. Yeah, at that point, just get a regular job, work in an office. It's a lot more buck for your bang. This is like if Ocean's Eleven referred to how many dollars an hour you made during the heist. Yes. And there's apparently people in Switzerland are proud of their consistent use of cash. And so they always have cash on hand and the ATMs are always full of cash. And millions of francs have been stolen from ATMs in the past year, which means you'd be more efficient just doing crime on the ground.

What are you learning these athletic feats for and these athletic skills? You just get to stay at sea level where there's more ripe pickings it's clearly someone in the climbing club also it's not like it's not like climbing gear is cheap yeah i feel like it's someone in the climbing club i feel like we just solved the mystery yeah it's someone that's already there that already i don't know has a vendetta against their other fellow climbers that That sounds right. Yeah. And it's also because that was the donation box to maintain the path, right? So this is just like you're stealing from yourself, honestly. And I know I sound like a third grade teacher who says, look, when you steal, you're only disadvantaging yourself.

But I think it's true here. And that brings us to sports news this is the news um i don't know if it counts as news this is a thing that happens every year but it's a thing that has happened this year which is to say the bog snorkeling championships have taken place this last sunday in britain of course Of course, Britain is the place. If they do the cheese rolling, they do the bog snorkeling. And Caitlin, you've been face down in a bog before. Can you unpack this story for us? Oh, dear.

I mean, this story is why. Why did this happen? Why does this continue to happen? Who wants to snorkel in a bog? But there was an annual competition in Wales, and they raced to see uh who can complete two lengths of a 60 yard water-filled trench cut through a bog uh you can use flippers but you can't use swimming strokes so only your feet not your arms i mean

of all of the things to make an arbitrary distinction about, like, surely you shouldn't be discouraged. If you're running this race, you shouldn't be discouraging anyone to participate in it for any reason. Yeah, totally. Absolutely not. There should be no rules other than you have to have a snorkel and be in a bog and then ideally get out of that as fast as possible.

You're not allowed to swim is such an arbitrary rule, like you said, right? It's like, that's the obvious way to complete this task is swimming. It's so natural. But they're outlawed, they made up this sport and outlawed doing it the only reasonable way. That is truly like if baseball players couldn't use bats and had to just swing butterfly nets at the ball. Like, why are we making this harder? It's already hard uh and it feels like like the the description of this event sounds like there's someone who is desperate to set a world record in some sport and invented a sport that no one had tried before so they could at

least start off being the best at it that's the vibe i'm getting from this yes and they're trying to uh to beat the world record holder because there already is one, which is wild, with a record of one minute and 18 seconds in 2018. It's been a while and the competition is fierce. I'm not impressed because I don't know if that's impressive because this is not, this is illegitimate to me. You said this took place in Wales. This sounds more like a competition for Wales hot one my favorite part about the

article is that uh people accessorize their snorkels and that's what I find the most interesting the costume design not the sport it's a new come out for the drag race franchise that i would be i would be up for watching that again i feel like i've been a little bit burned out on the number of different um spinoffs of drag race that there have been and so i've taken a step back but i feel like i would come back in for bog drag given the history of britain and it's like bog findings i mean you look in ireland that's basically full of kings who weren't uh keeping people fed enough and had their nipples cut cut off and chucked into bogs but now i'm just wondering if they were running some horrible bog snorkeling race that involved cutting you that is one heck of an obstacle course

cutting off your nipples would certainly be an obstacle to me even starting oh yeah that's another big deterrent from joining in that where i'm from bogs are full you that's what you use to cultivate cranberries which i think would make a much more fun uh a much more fun course to traverse right you get a little snack in the middle some obstacles kind of it's like when you go to hyperspeed i think like in Star Wars and just the light comes towards you. It's just that but cranberries. Yeah, and no matter how much bog shit you get up here, you're not going to get a UTI. Nope, that's right.

The other one, this competition in Wales is basically a UTI acquiring competition with a race component, now that you think about it. Well, maybe that's what the Irish kings were doing. They lost their nipples and they were diving for cranberries to replace them. Cranberry nipples is my favorite Harry Styles song, as long as we're talking about it. Oh my God, great band name. And now it's time for the weather. A rare blue supermoon is looking to come up on Florida's west coast,

exacerbating flooding from Hurricane Idalia as it hits the coast. I mean, obviously the moon will be over the whole world, but particularly affecting Florida in this instance because they've got a hurricane coming up them. Caitlin, you're affected by the tides of the moon. Can you unpack this story for us? Well, I just worry about all the women getting their periods around this time. It seems very intense.

It's a rare, what did you say, rare blue supermoon? That sounds like it should be a character in the Highlander series we were talking about. This seems wild. I've had enough of crazy weather this year. Just please, please no. Please don't align. No, thank you. I feel like we've done a bad enough job on Earth that the weather is so bad. We can't have other celestial bodies making our weather worse. Like it's global warming, not galactic warming. You know what I mean? We can't, it's just too much. We can't, what's next?

Just like Saturn crashing into South America, exacerbating an earthquake. We can't have it. We are doing bad enough on our own. Well, I mean, it's sort of also, it makes things more complicated in terms of how on the ground to deal with this problem, because you're meant to run away from water

and you're meant to hide from the wind. You're meant to kind of stay where you are and hide, but now you don't know what you're going to do. Put yourself into a fridge and set out onto the tidal waves. I feel like it's quite a stressful problem for Floridians. The one thing that I have to console myself is that they tend not to believe things are real. So they're sort of the most practiced in denial of all the states in America, as far as I can tell from the

outside here. So maybe they'll just repel it with the force of disbelief. That is on the news when they talk about hurricane prep. It's like board up your windows, fill the bathtub with water, decide you don't believe in the weather or the climate at all and that's kind of the final step yeah that's step three yeah we're all familiar it's like it's like reverse prayer where you just in when prairie right you believe in something that that may not be there and that's the beauty of faith and and with um a kind of american climate science you choose not to believe in something that absolutely does exist do you think you can text jesus yeah hey jay dog what's going on man oh boy with a slightly juicy emoji that's the sexy one oh yeah that's all the juicy ones are a little sexy yeah

yeah yeah any of the kind of any phallic vegetable, any juicy vegetable or fruit. It's all, you know, not to kink shame, I guess depending on what you're into, any emoji can be a sexy emoji. Yeah, I was about to say, can you make any emoji sexy? And there should be a competition for that instead of snorkeling in bugs. I mean. I was like, poop one? Sure. I guess to some people ghost one.

Yeah. You know, that's not my flavor, but get after it. Lady dancing in a red dress. Yeah. I mean, Caitlin, you need to you need to launch this competition and immediately become the world champion. Yes, there we go. And then someone can try and break my world record. I mean, are there any fruits that aren't sexy?

Pineapple. Well, pineapple is. I guess it makes your cum taste better, according to science. The other thing about pineapple, too, is that I think it is used as kind of an emblem for swingers. It's like a swinger iconography. So pineapple might be the sexiest. Because it came from the old tradition of pineapples being a fruit of welcome, saying we're open. But now in the legs sense as well as the house sense.

Come on in to my body. And you know what? Now that I think about it, the popsicles are very sexy. So I take back the pineapple suggestion. Also, I was once in the emergency department at St. Vincent's Hospital and somebody came in who had a pineapple in his bottom and

what a talented butt wow is he the wife of the woman of the couple that's what they're like how are we not having a baby I've been pegging my husband with a pineapple every night of the week they googled her fertility and someone said up your

vitamin c he thought up where yeah well i mean maybe this is breaking medical confidentiality but i was i was with my mom just in the curtained off alcove. No, that you can say. The one that he was in. But he said he had been trying to massage his hemorrhoids. And so he had put a condom onto the pineapple and then it had broken. And obviously, much less maneuverable. This guy has a lucrative career in drug smuggling ahead of him. Yes. If he can fit all, most of a pineapple in his butt in a condom,

that's so much heroin. A pineapple of heroin? That's going to be the new slang. Pushing pineapples across county lines. That's just so crazy that he thought a condom wouldn't break. Penises break them all the time. Why not a pineapple? And most of them aren't even spiky on the sides. Yeah, most of the penis the sides yeah unless you're a half cat and so few men are these days it's i honestly we need to go back to the way things were where cats where cats speaking of which that brings us to the end of the show uh we are flipping through the ad section at the end when i say speaking of which, that brings us to the end of the show. We are flipping through the ad section at the end. When I say speaking of which, I was thinking of Werecats and the Dancy Lagarde reader, which is now available at unbound.com.

If you go to unbound.com or thebuglepodcast.com and type in Alice Fraser, I don't suggest you try typing in Dancy Lagarde because you will spell it wrong. I spelled it wrong the first time I wrote it and I invented the name. So,aitlin have you got anything to plug yes my um one woman bathroom graffiti musical is premiering off broadway at soho playhouse september 6th through the 23rd josh is opening on one of the days that i can't remember 15th there we go josh is opening on September 15th. It's a very fun show. It's set

in the dive bar bathroom. I take the audience on a walk through different kinds of bathroom graffiti, whether it be men's versus women's stalls or people responding to each other on bathroom walls. And I treat the whole audience like we're women bonding in a bathroom, though anyone is welcome to come. It's a very fun show and it's where uh fleabag was and the net and i am going to be on stage telling dick jokes so you should come that sounds incredible and i only wish i i could come i don't trust the airlines anymore fair josh i am out on the road a bunch i'll be in detroit at the House of Comedy Detroit, September 8th and 9th. I'll be at Laugh Camp in St. Paul, Minnesota, September 29th and 30th. I think, and then to

be announced, but I can tell you, I'm doing the Wait Wait Don't Tell Me stand-up shows in Cincinnati and Indianapolis the 7th and 8th of October. And I believe I'll be back at Bottle Rocket in Pittsburgh, where I think some gargoyles came to see me last time, on November 18th. So I'm out and around the eastern half of America for the next couple months. And I have a free newsletter, as always, called That's Marvelous. It's joshgondelman.substack.com and it's free every week you can get all your josh gondelman related news plus pep talks it's a delightful dose of positivity into your inbox the worst case scenario is you're not in the mood for something nice and you delete

it and the best scenario is it cheers you up immensely i would like to say a big thank you to all of the gargle listeners who came to my show twist in edinburgh it was wonderful to meet you all it's wonderful to see the people who were wearing half a glass of water t-shirts. It was a delight to see some of my Patreon supporters there hanging out and to see them at other shows together, like I formed a little tribe of weirdos. It's very nice.

You can find me online at patreon.com slash alicefraser. It's a one-stop shop full of my stand-up specials, podcasts, and blogs, as well as my weekly writers' meetings where we write together and then we do a little workshop and it's heaps of fun this is a bugle podcast and alice fraser production your executive producer is chris skinner your editor is ped hunter i'll talk to you again next week