The Glass Cannon Podcast - Friends of the Pod – Pathfinder 2E

Episode Date: February 1, 2023

With all of the shake ups in the tabletop industry as of late, we went live last week with the Pathfinder Society Scenario Inheritor's Rite to show fans new and old how much fun Pathfinder 2E is and how simple it is to jump right in and play!  For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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From our airy lavender cream cold foam. Only this spring, only at starbucks ice lavender cream oat matcha tea latte includes dairy you are listening to the glass cannon network the premier source for role-playing game entertainment happy wednesday everybody we are live and we going to play some Pathfinder 2nd Edition. One of our guests for this evening, her internet just went out as the countdown clock was going like 10, 9, we're like,

we gotta go live! And that's the beauty of live! This is how Lorne Michaels feels. Yeah, this is like on SNL when Charles Rockets said the F word. The closing on the last stage and then he got fired. Somebody give me a picture of the Pope. Gonna kill time here until Mary Luke comes back. What is going on, everybody?

We're gonna have some fun tonight, but I wanted to ask a weird question up front. Oh, boy. Just to kind of make things weird right out of the gate. We'll have to catch Mary Lou up on this. Good, good, good. It's January. Trying to get a little healthy because I tend to treat my body like a highway McDonald's bathroom during the holiday season. Aw.

Like Pennsylvania Highway McDonald's. Yeah. Really horrible. And so I... Mary Lou, everybody. Oh, there she is. Mary Lou. Yay!

She's here for us. Yep, yep. Mary Lou, I'm talking about trying to get healthy, and I... Not interested. I'm not. I'm not going to go. Good interested. I'm actually going to leave.

I think I was right. Uh, well, let me ask you this. I, I started, uh, I'm a sucker for Instagram people.

I like, I spend a lot of time just when I'm bored and I don't want to do anything. I stare at Instagram. So I stumbled. My least favorite one. It's, it's horrible. And I stumbled upon this wackadoo,

uh, who's very, very popular. Who's ways, fuck vegetables. They'll kill you. The liver king? Yeah. No, it's one of his boys, though.

This is like he was one of the- Well, the liver king turns out he's just mostly steroids. He is steroids. I tangentially know all about this. Well, liver's great. It's even better when you juice up after you eat a ton of liver. That's how you really get rid of it. You gotta really

get it in there. I can't say what factor it is. I don't know if it's eating the liver or jacking myself up with androstene. What's the thing that's doing this? He is all about, like, don't eat vegetables. They're terrible for you. You look at a tree, and the tree is saying, here, eat these bananas.

It's saying this is the good part. And that the plant. And you shouldn't trust them. You shouldn't. That's right. It's a trap to lure you in. But they're saying that the plant has like natural defense chemicals. And if you eat them over time, it will kill you.

That's why you want to eat the sweet fruit part. So he just eats a burger for breakfast, a burger for lunch, a burger for dinner, and honey, raw milk, fruit, and organs. He's way into organs. Like chicken hearts? Yeah, he's just like, I like to eat a little frozen heart in the morning. He likes to go to church and listen

to the music in the sanctuary. It gets him in the right mindset for his workout. I can see that. My question is, are any of you way into organs? Like, eating organs, or that's not weird. I used to love, like, the gizzard. They used to have the gizzard pouch, and the

we see roast turkey, or roast chicken once a week. They have the gizzard pouch in there, shoved in there. So you can do, like, the chitlins and stuff, and the gravy. Yeah. I've had chitlins. I've had chitlins. But I know, I cannot say that I'm super into organs, but thank you so much

for asking. I'm glad I know. Because he really sells it. I mean, my buddy who is really into like cooking, trying all different kinds of stuff, been to Italy multiple times, Rocco. You know Rocco. He's a weird dude. But he's got interesting tastes.

He would send us on our buddy's text chain just pictures of his frying pan whenever he made chicken hearts. Just because he knew it would elicit a reaction of like, dog, what did you do? Because there's like 40 of them. And I can respect that. And it's like, you killed 40 chickens to make this little dish.

And he's like, yeah, get it, chicken. It's rough. I've never had it. They're considering banning testicles from the Olympics. You can't eat testicles anymore because it's giving people too much testosterone. That might make you too manly. We can't have any of these fake men playing sports against

real men. It's not fair. Yeah, real men will eat those things. So they're banning them for people competing in the Olympics. But whose? Whose testicles? Who are they eating? Who are they eating? Whose testicles are they eating? Let me be clear. You can eat testicles and buy a ticket to the Olympics. That's what I'm saying.

That was all I was concerned about. I just wanted to make sure. Let me make that clear. This kid doesn't affect you at all. Okay, good. You can't be an athlete who chows down on testicles during their training, which means I will no longer be going out for the bobsled in 2018. And that's America's loss.

It really is. So you've moved to bobsled? You were more of a luge dude. I am, but you know what? I'm all about the team. That's what they say about me. Feel the rhythm. Feel the rhyme.

Num, num, num, num. Something, something. It's bobsled time. Come on. Cool runnings? Come on. Cool runnings was one of my favorite moments. Thank you, Mary Lou.

Yes, okay. Awesome. Skip, you're from Colorado. Have you ever eaten any Rocky Mountain oysters? Yeah, I have. But the fun thing is tricking out of towners into eating them. That's the best thing. Yeah. I once went to the Seychelles, which is a tiny island chain off the coast of like Madagascar, to do a comedy musical for a Saudi billionaire prince. I'm sorry, what?

Don't ask. A Saudi billionaire prince? I have to. This is straight out of an episode of Schitt's Creek right now. I actually don't have that many details because we never learned his name. There's no red flags here already. No, I don't see why. Just take it.

Just accept it. But we were hanging out on the island, and two of the guys that were also in the musical, they were like, we're going to go, and we're going to go to a local restaurant. We're leaving the resort. And they went to a restaurant, and the local folks were like, oh, yeah, we eat bat here. So bat. You should order the bat. And they were like, oh, my God.

Okay. Well, far be it from us to disrespect the custom um so they ate bats and then they found out that that's just what locals tell um that nobody eats bat uh on the island but they have the dish and it's on the menu just to trick unsuspecting dummies like my friends into eating bat and they did did. They ate bat. On the one hand, I'm like, serves them right. On the other hand, I'm like, they were just trying to appreciate and experience a different culture. I'm of two minds about it. You know what I mean?

That's a cruel joke. It's like, ha! You got the plague! Right? Rabies is only spread by bats and foxes. It's like, you have inside rabies now. To inform you, sir, that you have inside rabies.

Didn't get it from a bite. You bit it. You bit it. I'm not tempted to eat bat nor testicles, but frozen liver is really a lot of bioavailable nutrients in there. I don't know. That's what this crazy doctor says. I'm going to check it out.

really a lot of bioavailable nutrients in there. I don't know. That's what this crazy doctor says. I'm going to check it out. But we are, we are already eight minutes behind a nine hour stream. So we're going to, we're going to, we're going to talk about this.

I don't know if this is your first time watching us or your hundredth time, or you're just back to spite watch us because you stopped a while ago. Cause of something Joe said. But I want to, I want to welcome everybody to our little dysfunctional family we call the Glass Cannon Network. Obviously, there's a bit of a shakeup in the industry right now, and a lot of new people are checking out Pathfinder, which is very exciting for us because my buddies and I have been playing Pathfinder for a long, long time. And it's great to try new games.

And it's one of the best decisions we ever made as a network. And now we've branched out to tons of different series. We've got a Blades in the Dark series, Call of Cthulhu series, Delta Green series, Traveler series. But what else? That's everything, right? I think that's mostly everything. Yeah. Besides all the one-shots.

All the many one shots. A quick thing of a time watch, you know, if you want, go back and see some familiar faces here. Just do a time watch. One of the best cliffhangers I've ever seen. We've taken many dips into other systems. We like to give everything a shot. Tomorrow afternoon, we're playing Blade Runner. But tonight, we're playing the game that we're most known for, and that is Pathfinder.

And we call this show Friends of the Pod because sometimes we just want to get together with friends and play a game and not have it be a 300-episode series. So that's what Friends of the Pod is. And so this evening we have a lot of friends. Obviously there's the Nesh that's watching right now. Obviously there's Paizo, who is our friend. They've been a champion of our work for a long time, and we'll talk about them in a second. But first, I want to welcome two of our newer friends, Joe Skid and I. We're three of the founders of the company, and we want to welcome two new friends to the show.

Paul Deming and Mary Lou. Give it up. Hello. Are you clapping at home? Are you clapping at home? Are you clapping at home? I can hear them clapping. Thank you so much. The crowd goes wild.

Oh, my God. The hype train that's happening as well right now is, and then this chat is crazy pants. Yeah, it's great. I love being a part of this. Thank you for inviting me to join these glass cannon shenanigans i actually had a friend from college who has been listening to the show and then messaged me and was like you were on the glass cannon i was like yes isn't that cool so i'm pretty happy to be i'm

so happy to be here and i think i honestly think we were pretty good choices because both Paula and I, we are Pathfinder newbies. We are. We only recently started playing Pathfinder on, you know, on our Blood of the Wild campaign on Glass Cannon. And that was my first experience with it. And I'm loving it so far, but I'm still learning, still constantly learning. If you all want to see what it's like to go from being experienced in D&D 5th edition, for example, and then what would it be like to then start trying to play Pathfinder? I think Mary Lou and I are great examples of that because that's literally what we're doing right now. Exactly.

There's probably a lot of people watching right now that are in that same boat. So this is exciting. We're going to do something that I consider to be an introductory adventure. Well, actually, we have another friend joining us tonight. This is a surprise to me and to you. Wow. We have another little friend joining us. Is that Mitty Skid?

That's Little Skid. Welcome, Little Skid. Hi, buddy. Hey, I'm Little Skid. Hi, buddy. Hey, how's it going? I'm little Skid. Hey, bud. Hey. It is a real pleasure to be here.

You'll be hearing from him later, depending on how things go. I hope not. That's great. Skid's in the house. The chat just exploded. I think Twitch is down. I think Twitch just crashed. This just goes to show you never know what friends are going to show up.

That's right. Your friends are going to pop. That's right. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Exactly. I don't know how I would feel about having a small puppet creature of myself. Yeah. I got to say, it's pretty great.

Maybe it's not for everybody, but I'm liking it so far. I mean, hey, I don't have any experience with that, and you do, so I should really be trusting you on this. You're wearing the same shirt! Hey! It's very... It's starting to get uncomfortable. Alright, just you

stay there, little kid. We'll talk soon. Do you, like, send him to the DMV when you don't want to go? Yeah, exactly. I could. Put him up on the counter? I could. If I wish hard enough. Maybe he could be a real boy.

That's my game. We'll see how that works. When I heard about all this stuff going on, I texted our good friend, Eric Mona. He's the publisher and COO over at Paizo. And I was like, we got to do something. Dude, this is a time when we got to show off everything that Paizo and Pathfinder is all about. And we were initially talking about doing the introductory box. But then Joe and I started talking.

It was like, so many people are buying the introductory box. We don't want to spoil that adventure. So many people are buying the introductory box. We don't want to spoil that adventure. So I just dug in to a bucket load of Pathfinder Society scenarios and picked one that was very poorly reviewed because that usually means that I'm going to like it. Because the nerds don't. It's only for us jocks. Yeah.

That's right. Us athletes. That's right. Us professional bobsledders. I was high on testicles at the time. Yeah, the real testicle eaters out there. That's who this is aimed at. Real nut eaters. What I was going to say is, so we're going to be jumping into something that is very, very different,

and I think it's going to best show off how we play the game, which is going to be different from other tables. But, Joe, Paizo is giving away some amazing prizes tonight. We're going to do some giveaways in chat. Yes, yes, they are. Paizo is very excited to be working with us on this stream and vice versa. And they want the nation, everybody who's checking out Pathfinder, to have an opportunity to jump in if you haven't yet and you want to get your introductory experience to

Pathfinder, we're going to give away two huge giveaways tonight, two huge packages, bundles essentially, that are great for beginners. There's going to be an entire bundle that is the beginner box along with a beginner adventure, beginner map, etc. And then another bundle that is a little bit more intense beginner, which is core rulebook, game mastery guide, lost omens world guide, and another whole adventure and map and pack and everything like that. So we're really excited about this. If you can, if you go into chat right now, we're going to drop a link in chat. McD, our community manager is hanging out tonight. And he's going to drop a link for you in chat. Click on that link and you can enter to win. You just got to put in your email

and we'll email you if you win. It'll go until midnight tonight and then we'll pull winners. I'm not sure if McD's going to announce them in chat or not, but if you win, you'll get an email by tomorrow that lets you know where you can, and we just got to collect addresses

and we're going to send you all this amazing stuff. So thank you to Paizo for supporting the stream and for helping us get the word out there about Pathfinder. Because like you said, we've been playing this for a decade, more than a decade. And we love it and we feel like not enough people play it, simply put. And we're excited to get the word out there with some starter boxes and starter adventures. Yeah, not enough people play it, but that is about to change. Hell, it's changing as we speak. Not only do we just launch,

less than two weeks ago, a new Pathfinder second edition podcast that's exclusive to our Patreon. We are going to be launching a new show, I guess you could say. Our flagship show, The Glass Cannon Podcast, is going to be running a brand new adventure.

We finished our seven-year adventure last May, and so we've been just putting live shows out there to kind of prepare for the new story, and our second campaign begins this spring, and we're going to be playing the adventure path that we released today on Paizo.com. It is called Gatewalkers. Book one is available right now

as well as the free player's guide. So if you're like, I don't know if I want to buy it, well, get the player's guide. Read it. See if it gets your teeth wet, and then you can maybe get into the adventure path. Or just listen to us, because we're going to play all three books. It's a three-book adventure instead

of a six-book, which means it'll only take us three and a half years to play. Wait, are your teeth wet because you're drooling? It's a whole thing. It's a whole thing. I do want to point out that when you said get your teeth wet, all four of our heads went. But then I knew. I knew either me or Paula was going to say something.

We have to. I can't even remember how that started. I can't remember who said that. I was trying to, like, have a PG version of, like, get your you-know-what excited. It was like, oh. Get your feet wet. That's PG itself.

You get your feet wet. That's normal. You want to get your feet wet. Dip that toe right in to the beginner box. Sometimes you get so fired up, your teeth start sweating. That's how good. That's the expression. All right, let's get off of it.

That's it. That's it. Let's get off teeth. I just got off yours. All right, enough. It's 8-17. Mary Lou and Paula are in L.A. Joe is in an alley somewhere in New Jersey.

And Skin and I are in New York. So we're on different – you're going to watch these decrepit old hillbillies get very tired in a couple hours. Well, these spring chickens are still going on L.A. time. Yeah. I'm only getting stronger. I'm only coming into my powers as a night owl. Nice. I'll be doing the opposite, and I poured myself a drink as well.

It's the peak here and I'm going to be real good at first and then it's going to dip. Don't worry. Tell how fast. I'm drinking the most LA drink of all. I've never had it before, but it's coffee kombucha. Did you say kombucha? Kombucha, but it's coffee kombucha.

Kombucha? You're drinking coffee? You're so buzzed. It is disgusting. It's absolutely disgusting. It tastes like if you melted feet in battery acid. That's what it tastes like. It's disgusting. I am going to drink the whole thing. We should probably talk about our newest sponsor, Koffbucha.

Koffbucha. Awkward timing on that. Sorry. Koff on that. Sorry. Cough-boo-cha. Sorry, cough-booch. No, I poured myself a Whistlepig Manhattan, a fresh Whistlepig Manhattan. Ooh, that's a nice bottle. Yeah.

Whistlepig's good stuff. Yeah, my wife got it for me for Christmas, and I got the Luxardo cherries the whole nine yards. And I think the easiest way to make sure I maintain my energy is to start the night with a whiskey drink. And then a lager drink. And a cider drink. And a lager drink. You know what's funny? This is the second time Chumbawamba has been mentioned in two days on this network.

I almost brought it up before we started, too, because you were talking about you had to keep clicking on the Skype link before you could get in. And I was going to make a Chumbawamba reference. But then you came in with a Rocky reference. And I was like, well, that trumps my Chumbawamba reference. Because you get knocked down, but then you get up again. You get up again. Exactly. You're never going to keep me down.

Never. Let's Skype play Half Pinder. Thank you to everybody who has shown up. I apologize to the 300 that have left when I talked about eating testicles. But I hope you've had your fill because it's going to be a long night and you need your iron. Our adventure begins this city. This city. Begins this city.

Begins this city. It's all in Starla Valley. Our adventure. Let me this city. Begins. Solid star in the valley. Our adventure, let me take another sip of that. Our adventure begins this evening in the city of Almas. This is the capital city of the free nation of Andorran,

which is one of the largest and most influential cities in the inner sea. It's a true melting pot, multicultural melting pot. It's a center of trade. And it's a great place to spend a weekend if you ever have some time away. Especially lovely this time of year. But you're not on vacation. You're on the job as official members of the Pathfinder Society. If you're not familiar with the Pathfinder Society,

this is a globe-spanning organization of professional adventurers, basically. The four of you are now all members of the society. In fact, you're new members of the society. This could very well be your first mission now that you're no longer initiates. And you have been sent to the Pathfinder Society Lodge in Almas to assist Venture Captain Brackett in a legal matter.

Why are they sending four brand new Pathfinder Society people to assist in a legal matter? Because this is what the writer of the adventure thought would be fun. And I agree. It's morning. Sun's rising. People are buzzing about. You see market stalls being open.

People setting up food carts, putting out their wares. And we zoom past all of that, and we just see this grand entryway. And behind the entryway, think like Arc de Triomphe, right? And behind that is a long walkway that leads in the distance to a shining golden cathedral. You have been instructed to meet in this spot and come as you are. You don't have to dress up. You can bring your weapons. Nothing fancy. You're supposed to meet here.

Let's say you arrive one by one. Who shows up first and what do they look like? I'll show up first. I'll show up first. Skid will show up first. No, show up first. Skid will show up first. No, I only did it because I felt uncomfortable. I prefer a GM that's like, and you show up first.

Tell me what we see. Why was this a dig against me? You know what? Very loose character shows up first. I guess what I'm saying is I prefer a different GM I guess that's what I'm getting nothing new here stop fighting please

boys night is young you're whiskey drunk who shows up alright now I'm really uncomfortable so I will show up so you see this elderly dwarf Now I'm really uncomfortable, so I will show up. So you see this elderly dwarf, like, clanking about, jingling in full chain mail with a shield and a gigantic bastard sword strapped to his back.

He's got a big, like, a 50s schoolchild, like, bundle of books of books with like a belt wrapped around it like in one hand and he has these little reading glasses like over the tip of his nose. He has like long graying orange hair,

ice blue eyes, and skin. I'm sorry, ice blue skin? No, no, no. No, he has skin. He has it. So skin, yes. It's a good feature. skin? No, no, no. He has skin. He has it. So skin, yes.

It's a good feature. It's good, solid. It was a class feat, actually, he was able to take. On the character sheet, they always ask, so it's just like, yes, of course. Skin, yes. Yes, I do have that, not only have skin. Check, yes.

Thank you, skin. All right, so this agent dwarf rolls up, and you're just standing there, maybe admiring the architecture, as a dwarf would do. And then who comes next? Paula does. You see a young-ish woman. If you looked at her and you were good at guessing ages, you'd guess probably around 28. Like, upper 20s, not quite 30 yet.

In an old, like, army surplus jacket, tank top, some high-waisted culottes over a wide leg, pants that stop above her ankles. Her hands are wrapped. And she looks like she might be trouble, but you can't tell. And so she kind of walks up. She's got

bright red hair up in a big, fluffy ponytail. And she'll walk up and immediately spot this elderly dwarf and just assume that this is probably one of the people she's supposed to meet. They don't already know each other. Do we already know each other? Is that what you imagined? I would think probably not. Where this is

one of your first missions, they just picked four people who are perfectly suited to assist in this legal matter. She'll just walk over and be like, Hi, are you here for the case? Because I am. I'm Mara. Oh, Mara. Oh, hey.

Hey. Yeah. Good. You just look. I don't know. There was something about your look that I felt like you were probably here for the same reason as me. Like, we don't feel like we quite fit in. Right? Yeah. No. I mean, this is I mean, I'm just so I'm not used to being above ground. I feel like basically everywhere. Oh, your skin. She notices. She leans over and is like, your skin is a little translucent. But I'm glad that you have some.

Oh, dear. Oh, yeah. Okay. I hope the makeup would take care of that. What was your name? My name's Urist Bone Dog. Urist Bone Dog? Bone Dog. I like that name. Bone Dog. Can I call you that? Yeah, sure. You're Bone Dog. And again, I, bone dog. Can I call you that? Yeah, sure.

Yeah, a lot of people call me bone dog. Great, you're bone dog. Okay. And again, I'm Mara. Mara. Okay, great. Great, yeah. And I'm going to spell that B-O-N-E-D-A-W-G.

I assume that's what you meant. That is correct, yeah. As they're exchanging pleasantries, a third weirdo arrives. At six foot three, this like golden skinned, bronze eyed, blonde haired elf in almost like not regal looking attire, but fine robes comes walking through the town with a chin high and a swagger about him. And he makes his way up, and his keen senses of perception immediately lead him to know that these must be Pathfinders in this particular town. And so he comes walking up with a smile and a swagger and introduces himself as Dr. Llewellyn Pierce.

It is a pleasure to meet Pathfinders here in Andorran. I haven't been here in quite some time. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah. I was so distracted by your delightful, uh, accent.

You are not from here that I completely was not paying attention to what your name was. Can you tell me again? Yeah, Lewis. You can call me Dr. Pierce. Dr. Pierce. Yes, Dr. Pierce, very much so inspired by writing on this call, Mary Lou, who, when we heard what this adventure was about, was like, we can't do this adventure without a Southern lawyer or investigator type.

And I thought, who am I to blow against the wind? And Mary Lou, I thought would take it, but she didn't. And it was left to me. And so here I am. He comes swaggering in and he is an elf of an emissary background. So he is, I think, there's a good reason why he was picked for this. But there is a very unknown reason why he is level one. So we're going to have to figure that out at some point.

Yeah, yeah. A very old dwarf and an elf of unknown age with a really striking bearing. It is not too late to have a career change. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, that's the message we're sending. It's never too late. My favorite thing about him is the chat thinks his name is Dr. Piss. Well, of course they would.

I have never had a character name that wasn't immediately bastardized by the audience. Let them have their fun. Don't get defensive, Dr. Pierce. Don't get defensive, Dr. Pierce. So while you guys are looking down the street from where Dr. Pierce had arrived, from where Dr. Pierce had arrived. Behind you, just like suddenly, there's this young, goth teen witch.

She's got ghostly pale skin, jet black hair, eye makeup for days, lots of black, everything black. And she's got a magpie perched on her shoulder. And she says, hey. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Wow.

That bird is so cool. Okay, so side note, I have shape changer's intuition. So lifetime of experience helps me see through disguises. I immediately want to know any creature I come within 10 feet of that is transformed into another creature or is impersonating a specific creature. The GM rolls a secret perception check for me to realize the creature is transformed, even if I didn't spend an action to do it.

But I would like to right now make sure, is this magpie a real bird? I'll be rolled that secret check. Is it? Barely is. Barely is this a real bird, but I would know. Yeah, it's a real bird. Oh my gosh, this bird.

Well, it is a bird. It's perhaps not an average bird. It's not just like a bird I found. It's not just like a bird I found. But it is very much a bird. Wow. Your bird is? It is a bird.

And this figure, she goes, um, so you've heard of me? You know me? Oh, no, I just think your bird is cool. That's so weird. You guys don't know me?

No, I'm sorry. I haven't had the pleasure. Could you, what is your name? That's crazy. I'm Charlotte Ann. I'm sorry. I haven't had the pleasure. Could you, what is your name? That's crazy. I'm Charlotte Ann. I'm a medium. You're a spone dog. I'm a small. Actually, I'm going to sing that out of the way early.

It's Bottle Cap right there. It's Bottle Cap. Starting Bottle Cap. Role play Bottle John. Yeah. No, that's funny no like I'm a medium like I

I talk to ghosts and like see like omens and portents and stuff I'm like pretty famous are we possibly like from the same hometown

we have very similar accents it's crazy but I feel like I would have known you right they're doing the girl crazy, but I feel like I would have known you. Right. They're doing the girl thing where they're, like, sizing each other up

and they're either going to be best friends or abject enemies. You know, like, sometimes I look real different. I have been traveling around a lot the last few years, though, because I hunt people down for a living, you know, so. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah.

Charlotte Ann has just decided best friends. When you said hunt people down. She's like, yeah, definitely. Okay, I get it. Yeah. That's, yeah. Maybe we're just, like, not from the same neighborhood. That's why you guys, like guys haven't heard of me.

Went to different academies or something. Totally. Totally. As you're standing there all getting to know each other, sizing each other up and becoming best friends, a young, you know, not teenage, but definitely early 20s kid comes, and he's got the Pathfinder Society badge on, but he has something under it that lets you know that he's an initiate, because you used to have the same little thing on your badge that was taken away when you were made full-fledged members. And he comes up to you, and he's like,

Venture Captain Bracket will be here shortly. He instructed me to give you this file briefing to brief you on the mission specifics. Have a good day. Well, thank you, son. Thank you. And I'll reach out and take the documents. Oh, I thought you were going to hit me. Sorry.

Here. Rather jumpy lad. I'll see you later. And he runs at top speed for no I'll see you later. And he runs at top speed for no reason away from you. And let me direct you to our virtual tabletop

so you can see this. And that's already Oh dear. Oh that's a lot of text. It's a big one. I thought about sending it

to you earlier today so you could read it and we wouldn't have to do it on air. And then I changed my mind. Wow. So let's start. I could read it, but I'd like you guys to read it. Let you practice your voices a little bit.

Skid, you want to start off? Do a paragraph or two? Sure. Yes. Pathfinders, recently the society's image in Almas has taken a bit of a bruising. Tomorrow you will be assisting me in presenting a case to the People's Council. As you may know, the Church of Iomit Dei is claiming that I didn't... I'll never be able to pronounce that name confidently ever again. I'll never be able to pronounce that name confidently ever. It's claiming that I didn't acquire the Almas Cathedral honestly, though I bought the cathedral from the Church of Aroden here in Almas after it went bankrupt.

The Iomedians are now asking for my purchase to be nullified and the cathedral turned over to their church. It is my understanding that people are also beginning to question whether the Pathfinder Society's significant presence is truly benefiting the city. I am meeting the People's Council tomorrow to argue my case. I'm noticing that we have this up on stream and yes, that is the cast of the original Night Court. Is that

up on stream? Which wasn't supposed to be on stream. But I like to have funny so let's leave it up there. I had, when you click Which wasn't supposed to be on stream. That was for us. I like to have funny, so let's leave it up there. I just have fun. When you click on Roll20, it was the original cast of L.A. Law. And then when you get to the home screen, it's Nightcore. I really want to hammer the legal stuff home.

That's right. I'm excited. Mary Lou, pick it up there. Tomorrow morning, we have some time to meet with the members of the People's Council who will be determining if the society's claims stand. I hope that you can spend some time with the arbiters and talk up the society. You're all relatively new members. members, so I think your perspective on why you joined the society and the benefits you see in the lodge remaining where it is now will be helpful. I myself feel that my claim stands on the physical evidence alone. However, since the Pathfinder Society's image has taken a few hits, and I wonder if the council isn't looking for a way out or a way to prove that letting us

stay is the right decision. And he goes on to say, please take a moment to read the following information on the representatives of the People's Council we are presenting our case to. Joe, talk to me about Tritus Fiddlewort. Well, I'll read this first one. Tritus Fiddlewort. On any other day, I might be asking him to come and share a drink with you all. He has some amazing stories. After a serious injury and the loss of a friend led to his retirement from the society, he decided to try his hand at government intrigue for a while. He intends to set off

on another adventure after this term, citing that after a decade of rest and recuperating, he needs to get moving again, lest he undergo the bleaching. He spends a lot of his time advocating for the betterment of non-humans in Andoran.

In Andoran. We debated the pronunciation of the words before the stream, too. I could listen to a whole audiobook narrated in that voice. It was great, especially with that microphone. I'm just like, yeah. He mentions in the letter about the bleaching.

This is a thing that happens. It was clearly a gnome. Yeah, to gnomes in this world, they have to be on the move, because if they stay in one place for too long, they turn all white and die. Really? I didn't know that. You didn't know that? Yeah, so the Pathfinder gnomes in Galarian, they always have to travel.

They always have to, not adventure necessarily, but they always have to... They need constant new experiences where they... Well, that sounds exhausting. Totally, yeah. Well, that sounds exhausting. Totally, yeah. We've all had a friend like a gnome, haven't we? Paula, tell us about Tala and Freya. Okay, Tala Farthing. Before her time on the council, she served as an eagle knight.

In her government role, she first served on the local Almond People's Council. After discovering she liked working in government, she ran for the People's Council of Andoran. Andoran. She ran for the People's Council of Andoran. She respects honesty and hard work. Tala is one of the few council

members I can guarantee would never take a bribe or oversee a decision she could not be unbiased on. Okay, cool. So we know about her. She's like super honest. All right, let's learn about Freya Grainsong. I don't know much. She moved here as a child from Blood Cove and grew up in one of the poorer neighborhoods. She and her family are merchants by trade. Ostensibly, they own and rent out many of the vendors, stalls, and warehouses across the

city. Primarily, they sell specialty cooking supplies and olive oils, though I suspect their business is far more diverse than it seems. That's from Venture Captain Brackett on this lodge. So maybe they're like fencing money or something. Or like a fence or laundry

is what I mean. I like them already. It also says in the letter that you're supposed to meet the People's Council tomorrow morning. But that's happening right now as far as you know. Which means this nerd was supposed to give you that letter at your hotel. Oh, take his pin away. Yeah, this is terrible. No wonder. No wonder he ran off.

Well, it's not too long before you finish going over the briefing that a man approaches you. Not a pimply-faced teen. He's got a mustache, manicured goatee, and a ponytail. From everything you've heard about this description, you know this to be Venture Captain Brackett. I have a picture of the gentleman that I'll show to you right now. Some people like... Oh. Whoa.

I wish I could have him older. There he is. That's Venture Captain Brackett. He walks up to you confidently. He's like, good morning. Thank you for coming. I trust you read my briefing last night? Well, no, actually. We only got it just now. Jimmy.

Jimmy. is now. Jimmy! Well, nonetheless, I hope you're at least well-rested and ready for a busy day at court. Yes? Yeah, definitely. I love court. Yeah, yeah.

I would have liked a little more time to prepare, but I suppose we can do this off the cuff as it were, but that puts us out of disadvantage. Is there anything else you can tell us about this council or these folks that might have left out of your letter? Anything that would give us an advantage?

Yes, yes, he pulls out a timepiece and looks at it and he's like, well, but let's walk and talk. And he starts walking you along this walkway through the arch in the direction of the cathedral. He's like, I want to make sure we're not late. In fact, I'd like to get there a little early so that we may speak with Valor. This is the Iomedaean representative.

I'd like to speak with them before we start. We'll be presenting our case against Valor, as it were. A quick chat with them would be wise. We're actually going to the Golden Cathedral here to present our case to the People's Council, as I mentioned in my letter. So as he begins walking to the Golden Cathedral up ahead, which is coincidentally called the Golden Cathedral, you start passing through the main street in Amos. And even at this early hour, the city is already bustling. It's actually kind of comforting.

You've got the sounds and smells of street food vendors selling breakfast, the crisp morning air. And it's all carried on and mingled with the nearby ocean breeze because you're right on the coast here in Almas. If you look down the side streets, all the vendors are like setting up their carts, getting ready for another busy day. Brackett's walking and talking. He's like, well, I know you read my brief, but let's go over some of the basics just to make sure we're all on the same page.

About 10 years ago, 11 years ago, I purchased our Pathfinder Society Lodge, which was formerly the Almas Cathedral. And I got it at a very deeply discounted price. And I got the discount because the Church of Aroden here in Almas had gone bankrupt. It was very scandalous, but the purchase was appropriate. Everything was above board. And I like to think that we have used the building to help the people of Andoran since we've set up the lodge here.

It seems that not everyone agrees, and the Church of Iomide has thrown the legitimacy of our claim into question. To complicate matters further, recently a woman was murdered on the steps of the lodge, and, uh... No. Yeah, she was murdered, and, uh... Murdered. She was killed, yes. It happens all the lodge, and... No. Yeah, she was murdered, and...

Murdered. She was killed, yes. It happens all the time in this fantasy world. You'll probably kill people before the night is over. I mean, like, I've killed people sometimes before, so it's okay. It's really a big part of this game. It's a lot of killing.

But she was killed, which is whatever, but her ghost appeared shortly thereafter. And he immediately looks. Dr. Llewellyn Pierce immediately looks at Charlotte Ann. Yay! Yay! Ghosts. Great.

Yeah, I do that. Ghost appeared, and there's ghosts everywhere. It's a fantasy world. But this ghost blamed the Pathfinder Society Lodge for her murder. Obviously, that doesn't look good for us. Thankfully, our agents went right to work and proved that the whole thing was fabricated. In fact, it seems that it was orchestrated by Chalaxian spies. And now as we've dug further,

it seems that someone else might actually be pulling the strings. We haven't ascertained who it is yet. Truth be told, I can't think that this whole string of unfortunate circumstances that's dragging Pathfinder Society here into the mud might all be related. How do you get a ghost to, like, lie about who killed them? That's the same thing. What do you bribe a ghost with? Exactly.

Like, you're already dead. Like, you've already lost everything, right? Why not tell the truth? It was very strange. I did not head up the investigation, but I trust the men and women that were behind it. And they said that it was all, it could have been like a Scooby-Doo thing with projection screens, like it wasn't actually a ghost. Oh, like maybe the ghost wasn't real. That's what I thought.

Or maybe she thought she was telling the truth. Correct. What if they set up the murder so it appeared to the ghost to be the Pathfinder Society. That is why you are a medium. Because you could sense maybe what had happened to convince this ghost she wasn't lying. You're so right. You're pretty good, Charlotte Ann. You're so right. I know.

Thank you. Charlotte Ann, is it? Charlotte Ann. You're a, he pulls out his paper, a trained medium? Yeah. That's medium? Yeah. That's what I said. Okay. Do you have a question about that?

He looks like, he seems like, does he not know what all of our jobs are? No, no, I know. I just was checking my notes. Jimmy. He made my itinerary. Anyhow, do you have any questions? We're going to be there shortly. Anything about

the letter? Any phrases that I use that you don't know about that I could help explain to you about what's going on? Names? Talk to me. Could I do... Well, okay. Well, if they are blaming Chalaxian spies, what interest

does Chalax have in this town? In this place? We do not know. And honestly, that shouldn't be a part of our discussions at all with the people. Inadmissible. No, it's... A secret? I love secrets. It's very possible that it's admissible, but it's not really germane to the case at hand.

Right now, we just have to... I hate to use the word argue, but that's the way they use that word in court. We have to argue against this representative of the Church of Iomedae that we have the rightful claim. Mentioning this problem with the Cheliaks isn't really helpful. Does that make sense? Yes, that totally makes sense. Do we know what the motivation is for the Iomedian.

Iomedae. Iomedae. Iomedae. For Iomedae wanting the cathedral back. Did they approach you before bringing the suit to ask you for use of it, and you said no? Or is this the first you heard of it out of the blue? So I don't know how familiar you are with Aridin, but Aridin is dead. And Iomedae

is considered the inheritor. Iomedae sort of picked up the charge when Aridin died. And so because of that, they believe that the defunct church of Aridin should be rightfully inherited by the church

of Iomedae. But our claim is that, then why didn't you purchase it? We walked in and we had the money. It was all completely above board. I can't stress that enough and I will be stressing it if they ask me again. Well, who did you purchase the church from? A real estate agent.

A real estate agent owned the church? Yes. And is the real estate agent in the church? Yes, I may have that. And is the real estate agent in the room with us right now? We're outdoors, Madeline. It's a turn of phrase. I see.

No, this was a... I have the card right here. They're from Corcoran. She was an agent at Corcoran Real Estate. Corcoran. Estate Corcoran yes it's a real estate agency

ah yeah great do me a favor was it just a real estate agent or was it a realtor just mention me what was that was it a real estate agent or a realtor because they are different a realtor is different from just a real estate agent also when you buy a property,

you don't just give all your money to the real estate agent and then own the property. You know this, right? I understand this. I signed the papers. I went through the whole process. Who was the other person that signed the papers? The person that was

the landlord of the former church of Aridon. I really think we're getting off to a rough start here and this isn't important to the case. I'd be happy to What about escrow? You haven't even mentioned the escrow. I paid for it in cash. There is no escrow. The loan is paid off. This was

11 years ago. Was the inspection done? The inspection was done. There was some problems with some black mold. I overlooked it. Ladies and gentlemen, Pathfinder. The inspection was done. There was some problems with some black mold. I overlooked it. They needed a deceptic tank. Pathfinder. We can move on. I just really quickly want to make the pun.

Was it a real estate agent or a fake estate agent? It's a great question regardless. Not just an amazing pun. I'm legitimately wondering. No offense, Captain. None taken. Until now, I'd never considered that it was a fake estate agent. Perhaps this is where our trouble began.

That's how they get you. Well, let's indeed leave that out of our arguments today, Mr. Brackett. Captain. Can I do a... Captain Brackett, I am sorry. No disrespect. Could I do a... Captain Brackett, I am sorry. No disrespect.

Could I do a legal lore check? Actually, I don't have that. I do have it. I have it. I have it. If you don't have it, and you need to whisper it to me. Two people with legal lore? I thought we should have it, right?

Yeah. I get it because I'm a bounty hunter. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. That's cool yeah that's cool uh you gotta constantly defend yourself in court for murdering people i need to know the law because i'm chasing down law breakers um i'd like to do a quick legal or check just to see that just in general if this really is good guidance to not be prepared for or mention the murder that just happened on the steps during these arguments like Like, I could see that being a good idea, which is like, don't bring that up.

It's not relevant, and it'll obfuscate the actual issue at hand. But, or, is this guy just doesn't know what he's talking about, and he's going to foul us up by trying to hide that. Oh, that's a really good one. 22 on legal lore. 22 on legal lore. Yeah, it seems like, and he mentioned this in the letter as well that you're going to be questioned on they want to know more about you as pathfinder society members

it's kind of like proving the worth of the pathfinder society why is it better to have a pathfinder society here than a church that helps the people of Andoran. So they want to know more. And he said this in the letter, like, tell us about you. Why did you choose to do this? You're kind of like selling the Pathfinders Society. Oh, dear. I think that Dr. Pierce can't help but once again try to sneakily look at Charlotte Ann and just be like, uh-oh.

It's like goth teen. It's going to be like, here's why I got into it. What? What? No, say it. What were you going to say? You're looking at me and you're southerly looking at me and I think you didn't say it.

Nothing, my dear. I think you'll be fine. Let's go in. Let's go in. Yes, you have to understand that in cases like this, sometimes the council will weigh all the evidence, but they mainly want to take into consideration what best serves the people. And in this case, although our evidence is stronger, in my opinion, the council may deem that the people of Almas and Andoran are better served by acquiescing to Valor's request. I see, I see. So less a court of law and more that other thing. Yeah, like it's not very true, though.

More an arbitration. This is an arbitration. Arbitrage. It's arbitrage. So these three people you mentioned in the letter, are they the only members of the council? Are they three making the decision on this? Those three will be making the sole decision. So we'll need to sway at least two of them. Well, it'll be of the utmost importance then that we speak to the things we think they value the most

based on the little amount of information that we have. The eagle night should be very easy. Focus on those valiant protection of the people. The others, not so sure yet, but we can always twist our words ever so slightly to make sure they fit right into the alleyway what these people want to hear.

Yes, and with your training, you would all probably already know some information that would be helpful. Hmm, indeed. And this is where some recall knowledge checks can come in. Yeah! So the way this works is you can, with

the information you have so far, try to gather not recall knowledge, try to gather well, actually, you can gather information and recall knowledge about this that might just help you going into this. However, this is how it works. These are secret checks. So these are checks that are rolled by me.

So I have all of your sheets here. If you want to gather information, that's a diplomacy check. We don't have to role play it all out, but you have to tell me if you want to do that, and I'll tell you what you learn, if you learn anything. And then if you want to recall knowledge, you tell me you want to do that, and I will tell you what you learn

based on the checks that i've pre-made uh knowing what your character stats are here's how this works uh behind the scenes uh a failure you don't learn anything a success you learn something a critical success you learn like something you wouldn't have learned with just a basic success, a critical failure, which you don't know if you'll get, gives you false information. So it's up to you looking at your, for example, we'll start with gather information through

diplomacy. Look at your diplomacy score. You can tell me if you even want to bother sort of digging into your Rolodex of things you may have heard while you were out boozing last night when you were supposed to be resting for the case. I absolutely want to gather information. I have a plus three in diplomacy, but also my little friend, his name is Pika.

Charlotte Ann goes, hey, everybody, I forgot to introduce. This is Pika. Charlotte Ann goes, hey, everybody, I forgot to introduce. This is Pika. And he goes, call. And he's my best friend. Pika, he has a special feat. Pika is my familiar. He's my witch familiar. And he has an ability

called Snoop. So he keeps his eyes and ears open, ready to relay every snippet of gossip that he catches. I love this. So he gives me

a plus one to my diplomacy check to gather information. Okay. And you had to gather information. Wow. Okay. And you had a plus three. Great. I have a plus four.

What's his name? Pika. Pika. So Pika, while you were getting ready for bed, Pika was out roaming and listening and did learn some information. Pyka learned that Tritus Fiddlewort did not willingly retire from the Pathfinder Society. Instead, he was forced to resign for collaborating against the Society with a rival organization,

an organization known as the... The Aspis Consortium? The Aspis Consortium. Yeah! And because of that, he secretly holds a grudge against the society. Ooh. That is juicy.

Juicy. Yeah. Keep in mind, that could be a complete lie. That's true. Okay. That's what you believe to be true. Pika is sitting on my shoulder, and he's going like...

Into my ear, and I'm going... Nice. Okay, guys, we'll talk later. I was also hoping to gather knowledge, because as a bounty hunter by trade, I'm very used to like getting to a place and like scoping it out, listening around, like seeing what the deal is so that I'm prepared for every situation that I

go into. So I think maybe I would have gone out and tried to overhear some things. And I just naturally have a plus four in diplomacy. I don't have like a bird that gives me any, any buffs. So just like, but your bird is so cute. Some of us have birds, but that's okay. You're cute by yourself.

Oh, my gosh. Thank you. What about yourist and doctor? Just call it as I seize it. Yourist and doctor Pierce, are you interested in gathering information, or you slept in or went to bed early? Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I'm not going to gather information. I'm going to recall knowledge.

You can do both. Yeah, I'm not going to gather information. Well, yeah, you know what? Why not? You're saying this is retroactive from last night. Like, just talking to people. If you're bad at it, though, and we fail, we're going to get bad info. I don't get... Are you... Really?

Dr. Llewellyn Pierce, you think I'd be bad in a bar setting? I am a smooth talker. You make me so Southern, I can't do it. You're catching it. It's contagious. Oh, my God, because Paul actually is Southern. I'm so embarrassed I forgot that. Your accent is great.

I'm loving it. I'm loving it. But, yes, I actually am Southern. Look, I know how we both roll, Joe. Yeah, but I'm not rolling. Troy is. That's true. Troy is rolling.

So yeah, Dr. Pierce is going to go out and be the man of the people, despite his, oh, please don't be so put off by my radiant, angelic appearance. He'll talk to gather information. He has a plus five diplomacy. Yeah, and I have all your sheets. You're way better than you. I have to do it. You're better than both of us.

Joe's first instinct is always the worst one. But then he comes around at the end. Urist, are you in or out for trying to gather diplomacy? What was your night like? I think Urist is not a very charismatic person at all. He's not very well suited for trial law, but he loves it. So, yeah, he's going to go out.

Will have gone out. It's perfect, right? It's perfect. I will have gone out the night before to kind of just hit up a couple of local towns. Like, he's new in town, so he's just trying to get the lay of the land. And so he's going to try to awkwardly, off-puttingly, try to gather some information about where he finds himself.

And I would also like to do a recall knowledge check. Okay, yeah, great. Well, I'll do the diplomacy first, and then we'll see who wants to check knowledge. But unfortunately, Urist and Mara don't really find out anything that's going to be helpful to them. However, Dr. Pierce does, or at least

he thinks he does. You hear, maybe talking to someone in their cups last night, that Tala is renowned for her fairness. As a retired Eagle Knight, actually a former freedom fighter, an Eagle Knight is like a freedom fighter from this area, she appreciates the skills and influence that both Pathfinders and the Church of Iomide can use to

help Almas and Andoran. So she hasn't quite made up her mind like maybe other members of the council have. She especially appreciates some of the society's more recent efforts in fighting against all of the ugly trading that was going on across the Inner Sea. You also learn that Tritus is a retired Pathfinder, and sometimes he mentors young locals interested in joining the society. So that, now I don't know how much you've shared with your new friend here, Charlotte Ann, but that does conflict slightly with the information that she and Pika heard. I am perfectly willing to share everything I learn with my fellow pathfinders. I think I would be...

So, this Tridus fellow is a staunch supporter of the society. I think we'll be in a good place with him. He even educates young locals in what they need to do to become members. I'm sure he does. And that is a fact. Sure. Yeah. Charlotte Ann does not 100% know or trust these people just yet.

So she's going to go. She's not going to just now say what she learned. She's just going to put that into her little knowledge bank and chew on it for later. She'll tell people when they need to know. Hmm. Okay. Tritus sounds like a good guy. Yes, indeed.

Love that he's mentoring the youth. It does make me a bit suspicious, though, I must say, after reading this letter and understanding. Yes, because if it is, in fact, an eagle knight who could be above reproach when it comes to fairness, and another who is already a friend of the society, in fact, instructing young ones in it, that sounds to me like it would be so easy to get two of three. Almost too easy. Something's not right here.

I think I like what you're thinking. I like the way you think. Thank you. Now, can I get that paper? I want to look at that paper. And so Dr. Pierce is an investigator. He's an elf investigator, and he's got this ability called Pursue a Lead. And with this note, I think he reads this note.

He's got an 18 intelligence. I think he reads this at a whole other level than I would read it. He's making smart. And so I would like to take a few minutes, 22 minutes to be exact, and really dig into – he's going to put the Eagle Knight to the side for the moment. He feels that doing a fair and balanced argument is something that would be easy for him to do. However, if he needs to play some politics with the other ones, he's got to learn a little bit more about them. Now he is reading the words of someone else, but he wants to dig into the wording here and he wants to pursue a lead on these two, which essentially means he

targets these two people as objects of his investigation. And his focus basically will give him a plus one on checks of like recall knowledge about them or about anything involving them directly. Okay, great. Now you said it takes you 22 minutes. If that's the truth, you're going to be a little distracted because of Jimmy giving you the letter the day of. You're reconciling the information in the letter on this walk to the cathedral. Yeah, you could even say he can't do it, which I would understand. If it's like, you know, the gavel's banging,

we have to go in. I just didn't know the timing, but you tell me. Because it does say it takes a minute to dig into it, and then he can't do another one for 10 minutes. So if I could only do one, I could only do one. You just tell me. Would you like to then eschew the recall knowledge to fully focus on this?

Because then I'll let you do it. I guess I just don't understand that. Sure, sure. You said it takes your full focus. Is it really more of a flavor thing? But the recall knowledge then is just a roll, right? So why would I need to forego that? That's fair.

I was over-interpreting. You were like, I can't even talk to anybody else. But it has not been 22 minutes, just to let you know. Let me just ask you this in the interest of keeping things moving. Is anybody not recalling knowledge? I'm not. I don't have anything useful in the moment. Okay.

And I should let you know, you can roll society. Everybody has some points in society. Oh, yes. Did we all choose points in society? Yes, and some of you chose points in legal lore. Let's just say you all rolled it then for the sake of moving on. Yet again, Urist, you might have had a rough night. You didn't learn anything.

And Mara, you also didn't learn anything. I am, man, Mara's the worst. I hate her. She's so dumb. We're not even an hour in. She's so dumb. Why is she looking for something? She's so dumb.

I'm not even doing the dice and it's not going well. She's in a new city. She's excited. She's sightseeing. I'm defending her. She's my new best friend. Okay, thank you. She's so distracted by this bird, she can't actually properly remember anything.

However, Dr. Piss and Charlotte Ann are quite knowledgeable. And Dr. P, you hear through the grapevine that most members of the People's Council take their responsibility to serve their country and its people very seriously. And they are as diverse in their membership as they are in their opinions. Andoran prides itself on welcoming all, and open disrespect of others is not acceptable. Meanwhile, Charlotte Ann learns that the People's Council thrives on games and intrigue. If you think that just the moment you think that a council member is starting to like you, it's just a mask they're wearing.

They actually don't like you at all. High kind of people. Okay. It sounds like high school. And just for the record, Charlotte Anne pretty much just got out like high school i think you should i mean and just for the record charlotte ann pretty much just got out of high school so she's perfect you can talk already sharp from experience um she's gonna turn to her compatriots really quickly who are quickly growing in her esteem um but she doesn doesn't 100% trust them just yet.

We just met. Because we just met. But she gets vibes. Like, don't be foolish, you know. Mm-hmm. She's going to just sort of sodo under her breath. Hey, guys. Things might not be exactly as they seem here.

So I just want everybody to be really cool. Be cool. Don't be really cool. Be cool. Don't be, like, uncool. And, um, keep your eyes peeled, okay? And no, I won't explain. Okay, I'm ready! Sure enough, you reach the gates of the Golden Cathedral. And right when you get

there, you're immediately greeted by a page. Another one of these Jimmy-type characters who's like, Jimmy Page? You're met by Jimmy Page. Oh, man. He's playing guitar just, like, so well.

Oh, my God, I'm so nervous. I was just jamming. It was the last person I expected to run into in this adventure. Jimmy Page is standing outside the gates of the Golden Cathedral, and he sees you, puts his axe away, and ushers you into a meeting room. It's neither large nor small.

You could call it medium. It's well lit. Is the meeting room on the first floor or second floor? It's actually on the third floor. Oh, so we have to climb the stairway. All right. Oh, okay. Ease down there, big skin.

All right. Also, just want to take a second. I hadn't said it before, and I feel bad. Big thank you to Syrinscape for the music, for providing this lovely background. Yeah, yeah. The city sounds, the rolling water on the coast. And this music always makes me think of SideQuest, SideSesh. It just puts me right there.

I hadn't heard any of it. Now it's like I'm really transported. Totally different game. Jimmy Page wasn't there. All right, so you're on the third floor. You do take the stairway, not to seven, but to three. And you're escorted into this medium-sized room, well-lit. It's furnished with warm wood furniture.

And it actually has a large window on one wall that overlooks a courtyard below. And you're there with Venture Captain Brackett. On the wall that doesn't have a window, there's a painting depicting, any of you who know anything, it's a unit of Eagle Knights. And they're like routing undead foes,

an undead army in a gloomy forest. And you have a moment to kind of look about if any of you looks at the plaque underneath the painting. You see that this is actually a thematic presentation rather than a depiction of a specific battle. It's basically an ad. So it's like a lie. Yeah, it's an ad like join the eagle knights fight undead the room

you can see is set up for three individuals to sit at a long table with their backs to the window you assume this will be the chairs for the people's council does that mean we'll be seeing them in silhouette? will we be able to actually see their faces

and stuff when they're talking to us? Absolutely, yeah. I guess from the light coming in you'll be able to see them. It's well lit in here. Just making sure it's not like, it's a thing where it's like you're not even going to be able to see their faces. There goes your investigation. Freaky.

I'm paranoid, okay? Thank you for coming. Yeah, exactly. It's like, this is ominous. It is time for you to present your case. We will judge you anonymously. Like in Network. Have you seen Network?

Yeah. Anyways, on the other side of the table, there is a large chair, a single chair, and then there is, with a little table in front of it, and then to the right is a slightly larger table with five chairs. So you can just assume that's for you, and the other one is for this Valor that Captain Brackett was speaking about. But you're the first to arrive. There's nobody else there. You're in the room for two or three minutes before the door opens. And now no one ever inquired to Captain Brackett about Valor.

Yeah, yeah, that was on my list. I didn't understand that he, because he said, like, it's very important that we talk to him. Like, right? Didn't he say it almost because he said, like, it's very important that we talk to him. Like, right? Didn't he say it almost as if he was like. Yeah. He said it's very important that we talk to them. And now it starts to make more sense when the door opens and a large automaton walks in. Oh, dear.

How are we going to win a case against an Amidon? It's just this, like, full-body suit of armor that walks in. It's showing battle scars on the armor, and there's a huge symbol of Iomedae emblazoned on the chest. That's amazing. And they just like look in your direction and

start speaking to you. In fact, back in our VTT I will show you what Valor looks like. Think like the Iron Giant, but also did you ever watch Full Metal Alchemist? yes

it's kind of like the kid the brother can you guys see it? yeah yeah yeah looks awesome it's also it's a little bit like awesome Andy

from She-Hulk there's like a giant robot who works at her law office and this is yeah anyway that's Valor and there's like a giant robot who works at her law office and this is anyway that's Valor and Valor

gotta get that night court image out yeah we're really gonna have licensing issues especially when they just relaunched oh yeah there's a reboot there is I did not know that yeah and John Largat's in it and anyways

the automaton turns towards all of you and says, Greetings, Venture Captain Brackett. I hope you had an agreeable morning. I, myself, enjoyed the walk today. I only wish that I could smell all of the smells that you can smell, but I am but a simple automaton. Though my faith in the inheritor gives me all of the most sincere feelings of life I could ever need. The simple human senses of smell, taste, and the emotion you call love

have always eluded me and always will. It kind of sounds like you need them, though, because you were saying you wished you could smell everything, and then you couldn't. And you're like, but I don't need it anyway. But I think that's just you trying to tell yourself you don't need it. But I think you do. And let me tell you, it all smelled really good.

And we're, like, buoyed from it, you know what I mean? The automaton, like, cranks its head towards you. I see that you brought some. Mara's standing there, like, with her, like, she got, like,ed from it. You know what I mean? The automaton like cranks its head towards her. I see that you brought some... Mara's standing there like with her, like she got like a little attitude, you know, like her arms are crossed and she's just like, mm-hmm. I see that you brought some friends with you. Are you hoping to sway the representatives with personal tales? Before Captain Brackett can respond, Valor says, please, take no offense, I would do the same. I will admit I think you've done a great job with the cathedral so far,

but again, don't take this personally, as they say. The church and I believe that the building could be put to better use under our more legitimate stewardship. Your society spends too much time collecting and hiding away the past and not looking enough to the future. The society's numerous enemies are only going to continue causing problems for Arandaran if it has such a prominent position here in our capital city of Almas. You and I both know, Captain Brackett, this transition is long overdue. Well, now I've done it. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I've given away my big speech. Please allow me to begin again.

Greetings, Venture Captain Brackett. I hope you had an agreeable morning. I, myself, enjoyed the walk today. My name is Valor. Who will I be deliberating with today? And they look in your direction. Hi, I'm Mara. I am Dr. Llewellyn Pierce.

Dr. Pierce, I read your treatise on... Actually, I forgot what it was about. I just wanted to make a joke about mishearing your name. Jokes come hard to you, I imagine. Ha ha ha. And you, dwarf? Oh, me? I'm Eris Bondog, attorney at law. Head snaps towards Charlotte Ann. Oh, I'm Charlotte Ann. I thought you probably already knew that.

Perhaps you've heard of me? She assures us she's quite famous. I am. I have not uh just in that like friendly way uh like uh mara's gonna kind of lean over to charlotte and just whisper like i don't think as many people like know you as you think so maybe stop assuming because it's actually kind of like you seem really cool and i don't want want you to be embarrassed when people don't actually know you. Oh, I don't get embarrassed, so don't worry about that.

Oh, okay, cool. It's a marketing strategy. The more that I say that I'm famous, the more people will believe it. The more people actually believe it, the more... Girl, I get it. Okay, cool. Never mind. I'm saying this at full voice.

I'm not whispering. You know what I'm trying to be an influencer? I loved your speech. It was so crazy that when you were talking, I couldn't help but think of this random quote. It was so crazy. Those who do not study history are doomed to repeat it. And then you repeated yourself.

It was so funny. Oh, yeah. Very interesting. I heard it. The automaton stares at you with no eyes and no expression and it's uncomfortable. And the door... Zavala, will you be

leading the questioning or will the counselors themselves be asking us these questions? Who will be deposing us? I am here just as you are, to defend my right and my people's right to the cathedral. The people's council will be

the ones adjudicating the matter. Door opens. Oh, and here they are. And sure enough, the door does open, and people start coming in, and the first person you see is this gnome. You can actually see, like,

a little bit of streak of white in his hair as he goes over to shake hands with Valor, and then he hobbles over to you, and you're all taller than him, and he greets you one by one. He's grabbing your hands, and he's like, I am so excited to be working with Pathfinders once again.

Even if it's not the way that I imagined I would be. You are most welcome here. Most welcome. Captain Brackett, it's a pleasure to see you again. I must take my seat. And he goes off to take his seat. Can I immediately roll a sense motive? Or a perception

against his deception DC? I'll just say one more time, just in case, just in case I'll throw out there that I do have this ability to sense if they come in ten feet of me, whether or not people are disguised at all. I'm not saying that any of these people would be.

Just throw it out there. Throw it out there. And at least this gnome seems to be a gnome. He pulls it off and he's a robot. I don't know. Throw it out there, and at least this gnome seems to be a gnome. He pulls it off, and he's a robot. Let's get them. All right, so what do you think? Thank you, Skid.

God, how does he have it so fast? Like he's got a button that does that? All right, what are you doing, Jack? I'd like to do a perception check. I'd like to sense motive. Oh, sense motive. Discern lies. I have a hex cantrip called Discern Secrets,

where I call upon my patron's power to better uncover secrets. I can cast it on a target who is recalling knowledge, seeking, or sensing motive, and the target gains a plus one status bonus to whatever they're using for that role. So I'm going to cast that, and I'm going to cast it on

Dr. Pierce. Nice! I think Dr. Pierce is actually your best friend. You're all my best friends. There's a bit of a flourish here, and people look in your direction as you cast this spell, but they just assume you're a teen high on drugs. No one says anything. And I might be.

Jo, what'd you roll? I'm just stroking my bird on my shoulder. All right. So, Troy, where did we end up on this pursue a lead? He doesn't have time to do it or he did have time? It has not been 22 minutes yet. Okay. You don't get the bonus yet, but you do get the bonus from it.

Well, it only takes one minute, but you can't do a second one for 10 more minutes is what I'm saying. In that case, then, yeah, you've had plenty of time. All right. So, then I'm just gonna I'm gonna say because this gnome was the one I picked not the eagle knight. The gnome was one of the ones I picked so I'm just gonna do a plus one and then another plus one and so

oh that's a 27 perception check. Wow. You don't detect a drip of insincerity. Alright so when he was like I'm you know I'm so excited to see Pathfinder, it was sincere. Good. And that's Fiddlewort?

That's Tritus Fiddlewort. That's Tritus Fiddlewort. Good to know. So it is unlikely that the information we got about him being forced out for collaborating with Aspis is correct. So yeah, seems like maybe he's actually a good guy. Or we, I don't know. Maybe, yeah. Who knows?

Maybe he's just excellent. Yeah. If he was a spy, it would probably be very hard to detect that lie. Well, you also see a female human who comes up and greets Valor and then greets each of you and just introduces herself as Tala Farthing with very little pleasantries and then she goes and sits at the

center of the table. Does that mean anything that she's in the center? You don't know, but it's much different than your greeting with Tritus and even more than different than that is the last person to enter the room, a female elf. You assume this must be Freya Greensong, the one that Brackett knew very little about.

She actually walks right up to Valor and gives a very, I don't know, just a very warm greeting, like hand over hand, the hand sandwich to Valor, and holds his hands, And the hand sandwich to Valor kind of holds his hands. And she's saying something to him that you can't hear, even though you're very, very close. And then she just, while holding Valor's hand, just starting to let it go, she looks over in your direction. Just kind of nods without making any eye contact and then goes and sits down. I don't. I'm going to just quietly tip her nose like, I don't I'm going to just quietly tip her and I was like I don't like her well let's make sure she doesn't know that

she could be useful she could be I don't like elves I don't care for them I don't mean to sound prejudiced like bone dog unfortunately not only does it sound prejudiced it is prejud Like Bone Dog? Unfortunately, it does. Not only does it sound prejudiced,

it is prejudiced. I don't think so. It's like not all elves are the same as the individual elves you've met who you don't like. No, no, no. I don't like this elf, but that doesn't mean all elves are like that. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. No. I don't mean... Believe me, I don't mean to imply that

this one particular elf... No, I mean I dislike all elves before meeting them. That's kind of... I don't think that's prejudice at all. Yeah, and like that's prejudice, right? No, I think that's like the definition of prejudice. Yeah. I don't know.

I will have to look at a dictionary. That's good. We can keep talking about it because like your generation and our generation, we're a little bit different, but... I've only been above ground for like two weeks. Everyone, please be seated. Your ways are strange to me I don't understand please be seated please please the woman

the human woman in the center everyone please get comfortable Valor just sits down on this extra large chair thank you all for coming here this morning Fowler just sits down on this extra large chair. Thank you all for coming here this morning. I will remind you all that this morning's session will consist of two parts.

First, the council members want to get to know everyone a little bit more. And then second, we want each group to justify their claim for the cathedral. I need not remind everyone to be respectful and not to interrupt each other. Do we all understand this? Indeed. Crystal.

Yes. Sorry, I waited till the end so as not to interrupt. I assume that was the end. Yes. Yes, I waited till the end so as not to interrupt. I assume that was the end. Yes, understood. Yes, yes, yes. And she turns towards Vala. Valor. Vala.

Vala. She turns towards Vala. Vala. And she's sitting back down and she says, Valor, you may have the floor first. Valor nods their head and stands up, towering over everyone in the room by like a second person. It's a huge automaton.

And Valor says, members of the People's Council and our most esteemed guests, the members of the Pathfinder Society, I'm just a simple automaton. Your ways frighten and confuse me. And as an automaton, I have often

felt I don't belong anywhere. I've always been afraid of people taking advantage of me. Not treating me as a person or doing weird sex stuff to me when my circuits are turned off. It's a real problem in the automaton community. Yet, during my darkest hour, when I doubted myself most,

and the automaton is pacing and doing like the Clinton hand. You know, very very legal legal-ish. When I doubted myself most Valor looks to the sky. I, Omaday, called to me and gave

me purpose. I found my calling in helping protect others from evil. I have freed those in shackles and helped to provide sanctuary to refugees. I have fought the armies of the whispering tyrant, and sadly I was there when last wall fell. Yet through all of this, in the church of Iomedae, I feel a sense of safety and belonging. I want to spread this sense of love and protection to all that I can. The Olmos Cathedral can be a sanctuary that provides a safe place for people to gather and learn. It can be a refuge against evil.

And then Valor stares at all of you instead of a place where evil is hidden away. Thank you. And Valor sits down and the elf woman who ignored you upon entering Freya Greensong she's like thank you thank you for that incredibly moving statement Valor

after such heartfelt words I would understand Pathfinders if you felt for Valor's cause and wanted to rest your case are we done here oh I'm sorry I thought you told a joke Dallas cause and wanted to rest your case. Are we done here? Tell me. I'm sorry. I thought you told a joke.

I think we have an opening statement. I mean, we'd like to make. If it pleases the court. You say that and Tritus speaks up. He's like, yes, Miss Greed Song. I would be quite interested in learning how all of them became Pathfinders. Please. Yes, each of you tell me,

tell us a little bit about yourselves and most importantly, why you joined the society. It will help us to understand the society's import in our modern times you may start is it urine you're no no please don't confuse me with dr. piss I'm a distinct person and he kind of shuffles his papers and stands up and he says, Unlike most of you,

I was born in a cave. I was born deep, deep underground. I haven't, I didn't emerge from beneath the earth until about two weeks ago. Your above-ground world frightens and confuses

me. I looked up the moment I got out. I saw this big yellow dot in the sky emitting light. Whoa, no! It's going to kill us all, this horrible glow. I was told it's called the sun.

And you don't fear it. Well, I don't know. Maybe, I don't know. Maybe, I don't know. Maybe it should. That's all I'm saying. I'm sorry, I sort of lost track here. Yeah, no, more specifically,

this is all very interesting, but why the Pathfinder Society? You, if you don't mind me saying so, you are an older man. You could be on a beach somewhere. Why adventure? No, no, no, no, no, no. I would never be on a beach somewhere. Point of order. I believe that we mentioned earlier that

there would be no interrupting. So I would love it if yours could finish. I'm sorry, ma'am. I did not mean to. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Where were you?

That's very sweet of you, Dara. We have so much to learn from one another. I think so. I think so. I mean, the last thing we want is to be ignorant. I think ignorance is the enemy of all of our well-being here, I think. I think we can all agree on that. So in that spirit, yes, I joined the Pathfinder Society immediately upon emerging into the surface world

because I needed cash quickly. I had no other method apparent to me of gaining any. So the Pathfinder Society took me sight unseen and gave me gainful employment as an attorney, whereas I was not even able to pass the bar in my below ground community.

It didn't matter to them. They took me on. They assigned me to this case. I'm incredibly grateful for it. So, I mean, if that gives you any idea of the open heartedness of these people, I mean, I'm living proof of it. So, I mean, if that gives you any idea of the open-heartedness of these people, I mean, I'm living

proof of it. So, you know. And he sits down. Thank you. And please, no applause. You, young lady, you were quick to correct me, as well you should.

We made the rules and broke them. But you are young. You have your whole life ahead of you. Why the Pathfinder Society? That is such a great question, and I want to thank you for that incredibly insightful question. Some of us grew up with families

that loved us in communities that are strong and tight-knit. And some of us had an evil vampire for a mother. And I just,

you know, life isn't as easy for some of us as it is for others. And when she says that, she looks at, she makes just a very quick glance at, what's her name? The third woman that I didn't write down. Freya? Freya Greensong? The elf? Freya?

No, the merchant. Tala? Freya, no, the merchant. Tala. Freya? Tala, the merchant who might be a fence. Oh, Freya Greensong. Freya Greensong, okay. Yeah, she just glances at Freya. I

was given kind of a hard shot at life. My mother is bloodsucking and violent and evil. And I have some of her nature as well, as a dampier, half vampire. well as a dampier half vampire but i knew from a very young age that the color of my blood doesn't define what i can do in this world and even though some might look at me and say evil, bad, gross, icky. I know, I'm actually a member of the Church of Iomedae. I am dedicated to truth and justice and honor. I just do it in my own special way.

And I am lying right now. Did you say that out loud? By the way, I'm lying. By the way. I am... I have a feat called deceptive worship because of my background as a false medium.

Wait, Charlotte? Charlotte Ann. I didn't even get it. I did until someone typed it in chat. I'll have to be honest. Somebody typed it in chat? Yeah. Somebody got it?

Nice job, chat. Wow. So she is trained in occultism. She is a witch, but she is not a true medium. And she is not lying about being dedicated to truth and justice and honor or about her familial heritage. Not lying about that. But she is lying about being a member of the church of Iomidae. Because I have a skill feat called Deceptive Worship

where I can use occultism instead of deception to lie to claim that I'm a member of a different faith. Or I can impersonate a member of a different faith. What an unbelievably specifically perfect a different faith, or I can impersonate a member of a different race. My god, there was ever a better

opportunity. What an unbelievably specifically perfect random ability to have for this one shot. I mean, that's unbelievable, and I'll get to why in just a moment beyond the obvious. Wow, perfect. It'll never be used again as well as it was just used

in this scenario. And Charlotte Ann knows that the best lies are sandwiched in truth. So she's not lying about being a dampier and her horrible upbringing with her literally embodiment of evil mother. And not lying about actually being pretty dedicated to truth and justice and honor, just in her own special witchy way. But she is lying about being a member of the church. So I'm going to roll it now. God, I'm so nervous. Yeah, you're going to roll it,

because each of you are going to do a roll at the end of this, but roll yours now. Okay. You're going to roll a cultism to be a deception check. Correct. Gotcha. Do you want me to tell you what it was? Yeah.

Just like, as a quick question. You're making me nervous. When can you use hero points? Right after you roll, if you don't like the roll. Cool. No,

no reason. No reason, just wondering. I'll give you one, I'll give you the one I did for the, you deserve it anyway because I won it off of the pun I made on your profession so I will give you my bottle cap

you can hold on to it actually because you all start the session with one so you all have one to use, you have not used yours yet so Skid, you have two. I was going to give her the spare one. Oh, you're going to give her the spare one and hold on. Alright, then you have that for free. Well, I rolled a

21. A 21, you say? Oh. Pretty damn good. Was that enough to sway them? Only I will know. So she finishes that lie and she says, so being dedicated to truth and justice and honor,

like my patron deity, Iomedae herself, but also raised in a tough world. but also raised in a tough world. I understand that, you know, sometimes the best is done when you're thinking realistically and not based on ideals but on results. And the Pathfinder Society has accepted me with open arms, not judging me for my background, and they've allowed me to do the most good

that I can with my skills, where others may have looked at me the way I look, my background, and turned me away. Counsel, listen, Stuart. It seems like you may have swayed them at home, whispering to each other. Even Valor is like, harumphed.

Charlotte. You're Charlotte. Mara. Mara, they look to you. And you, Pathfinder Society, why? why? Well, one thing I would like to say is in their statement, Fowler spoke about wanting to return the cathedral to a place of protection in the fight against evil. But I would question the use of the word return in this situation, because I believe that with the Pathfinder Society already using the cathedral,

it currently is a place that protects people and fights against evil. How do I know this? I'm a bounty hunter. I spend my days going after evil and finding those people and bringing them to justice. And now I do that under the name of the Pathfinder Society. And if that isn't an endorsement of the good that we are already doing, I don't know what is.

I rest my case. Case closed. Charlotte Ann goes to clap and then remembers how he said no applause and goes laughing. Dr. Pierce? It's Pierce. But that's neither here nor there.

My accent. He stands up. I would like to thank the council for hearing our backgrounds today. It means a great deal to me that in a town like this we can be accepted with open arms and have our opinions heard. After all, that is the mark of a civilized society, is it not?

Also, I'd like to thank Valor, first and foremost. They have warmed my heart with their expressions of justice and valor, so to speak, against the waves of evil that have confronted this world for millennia. Valor, thank you for all you've done. I was there when Aradin was here. When Aradin was a deity that oversaw the entire race of men. And I appreciated their followers. And I was there when he died. It was a terrible time.

And he gets, like, very serious. Nations began pulling each other apart. Cheliaks, as some of you may know, fell into ruin. The Pathfinder Society was there at that time, and I was a member. You see, the Inheritor did indeed take her place, as she should have, but it did not happen overnight. It took a long time before we could settle in to a new leader, a new deity to show us the way of justice, valor, and honor. But during that time, it was the Pathfinder Society that did all it could to keep people together, to try their hardest to make sure that families were not ripped apart, that households

were not torn down and burned by those that sought to take advantage of the weakness, the weakness of all of those followers of Aridon, fighting against each other in their panic as monsters descended in from all sides, was the Pathfinder Society that fought those enemies. And it's the Pathfinder Society that seeks to preserve those traditions, the traditions of peace and justice, of diversity, of inclusion across our realm. To me, this place is still a church. Now, I did retire a very long time ago. I was exhausted from my adventures, and I've been living the easy life, as it were.

And they called me back and said, Could you go do one last case? And I said, All right, huh? That means you're going to die. No. One case away from retirement. I have an eight constitutional. Oh, That means you're going to die. No. In case away from retirement. I have an eight constitution. Oh, God.

You're going to die. And I said, absolutely. I'll go anywhere to spread the good word of the Pathfinder Society and make it clear that this place will not just be for worshippers of Iomade, it will be for worshippers of Desna, and worshippers of Sarenrae, and worshippers of all the deities that seek good in this world. They can all meet under this roof, because a pathfinder society roof

is a place where all that seek the goodness and defense of the good people of Avastan are welcome. Hell of Galarian. We're on Garun now. Are we? I don't really know.

I'm talking about my notes. I'll be honest, I got carried away with myself. You really? Rika, bourbon. I didn't take geography at academy, so I don't know. Is that bourbon? Is that bourbon? Get on your breath.

Well, thank you all. This is Tala, the human woman. Each of your personal perspectives are essential to gain a full understanding of the viewpoints and the arguments to follow. So just, there's obviously a metagame going on here as well to try and sway the council. Charlotte Ann, you already, there's a, there's obviously a metagame going on here as well, uh, to try and sway the council.

Uh, Charlotte Ann, you already rolled your Deception, which you could use your Occultism, uh, skill for, which is, uh, amazing with that particular, uh, feat or power that you have. Um, I think Skid, you should roll Society, um, because it seemed like you were, you were talking about Dwarven Society at the beginning, talking about that. And Joe, all of your relevant abilities are around a plus seven, whether it's elven lore, legal lore, society. So just roll with a plus seven. And then Mara, I feel like you're in the same boat as Joe. Like anything that would fall into the category of your sway, be it lore or society, you weren't lying per se, is a plus four. So roll with a plus four and let me know

what you guys get. This is on top of our bonus? I know that's your... You're just a d20 plus what... This is my first roll of the game and I'm not sure which one I should use. How do you roll in that tray? I'm going to pull it out of the tray and roll outside

of the tray. How would I know what I roll? If that wasn't a good... So that's less of a dice tray and more of a dice holder. That's a holder. At the moment, yes. It's a dice case. It's a dice dish. It's an ashtray.

Oh, no. I picked the wrong die. Oh, no. Well, you have a hero point. You have a hero point if you think it matters. Should I spend it? Now? No, I can't spend it.

Now I haven't died yet. I'll say I only spent mine because can you imagine if I got caught lying about being a member of the church in court? Yeah. That would have been really bad. Look, I said the least of everyone

and I thought I was making a good point and being concise, but look, it's fine to roll a natural one on this. Whatever. First roll. I'm one on this. Whatever. First roll. That's a critical failure. I'm not rolling this die anymore. Okay, yeah. Put that away. Put that away. Throw it across the room.

So that didn't go well for Mara. Skip, what was your society roll? I got a 19. Okay. 14 plus my 5 in society. And Joe, what skill did you choose to roll? I thought I was leaning a little bit on history,

so I went with society, which I think would fall under there, and I rolled a 13. Bad roll. With a plus 7. Very interesting. And I didn't use the hero point because I thought my speech was about a 13.

I loved it. That was a good speech. So did Charlie Graham. I thought my speech was about a 13. I loved it. That was a good speech. I thought it was great. And I'm not using my hero point because maybe this is wrong, but there might be something more important later and I'm going to save it. Paula's getting it.

Digging in. Well, Tala and the council members, they listen to each of you and Valor, and they're nodding their heads. And they're like, all right, now that these introductions are out of the way, the council would like to know very simply and very quickly, as it's quarter of ten, why each side believes they are the right group to use the Ulmus Cathedral. We have already reviewed the evidence from Venture Captain Brackett regarding the society's purchase of the building. We know all of the contracts are above board, as Venture Captain Brackett has said ad nauseum. But now we'd like to hear from the four of you and Valor, four of you as why your organization, why the society's continued presence in Almas is justified,

and make it really quick, because this is taking a long time. And then the gnome speaks, and it's like, I'd like, actually, I'd like the robot to go first. I will admit, as a former Pathfinder, I very much like having a lodge here in my current hometown, but I admit I am interested in the church's vision as well. Would that be all right, Tala? And she's like, that's fine.

Bala, would you? And Bala stands up and kind of gives one of these like, oh, I wasn't prepare any argument, per se, for I believe that this cathedral, as a former church of Aradin, is the inheritor's right. On my walk here this morning, I passed by the same stalls that each of you did. I pass by them every day, and all I can think is how I wish that I could smell the smells that all of you can smell.

Sadly, I am a simple automaton. Though my faith in the inheritor gives me the most sincere feelings of life I could ever need, the simple human senses that you take for granted of smell, taste, let alone to love, will always elude me. While the Pathfinder Society has done a fine job with the cathedral thus far,

the church, I believe, can be put to better use under our more... What's the word I'm looking for? Legitimate stewardship. The society spends too much time collecting and hiding away the past and not enough time looking toward the future. There is so much growing evil in the world. Maybe the society should take all of these treasures

that they hoard in the vaults below the cathedral and use it to fight the evil in the world, rather than just locking those artifacts away to look at every once in a while. And the enemies of the society, they are only going to continue causing problems for Andoran if they continue to have such a prominent position in our capital. I think we can all agree that a transition is long overdue. And as Valor finishes saying almost the same exact speech he said to you

before the council arrives, they're all like wiping tears from their eye. So moving. They are biased. It's so moving. Or is biased. It's so moving. Or is Valor just that good? No. Freya Greensong, who is clearly not your biggest fan, she's just like, Valor,

that was, wow, that was, I I have no words. As for the, um. This is such a sham of a mockery of a fraud. I am ready to burn this place to the ground. Now, wait a minute. I just want to say one quick thing.

Yura stands up. He says, like, no, you've made a strong case, sir. And I understand. But as my colleague here said before, Dr. P, as we call him, that this Pathfinder Society has a very proud tradition of accepting all people and spreading tolerance around the world, wherever they lie.

Just making it clear, as I've been told earlier today, that it is absolutely wrong to judge anyone by who they are before getting to know them. To prejudge anyone. Wrong. Yeah, it before getting to know them. To prejudge anyone. Wrong. That's the message they get.

And then he looks at Freya Greensong and says, and frankly, that's something you elves never seem to understand. And he sits down. Oh my! Oh my! No, no, no. Bone Dog, that is not what I Bone Dog! Well, I'm not what I... Bone dog.

Well, I'm sorry. I got worked up. Maybe it hurt the case. I don't know. Freya is just like, she's blushing. She's so flummoxed by your display of rudeness. And she's like, well, could you just explain then how the cathedral, as your lodge, does more than just to benefit your little social club. I, along

with many here in Almas, share Valor's concern for how much you lock away and how many enemies you bring to Andoran's doorstep. What good comes of your presence here, and why should you be allowed to stay? And make it quick.

Um, Dr. Pierce will stand up in taking that invitation. It is true the Pathfinder Society does lock a great deal of artifacts away as a matter of policy and procedure. But that's for good reason. This is not to look at, simply to look at. It is, in some cases, to study.

For long years, it takes great minds to pass apart some of the evil relics that lie underground in the past. But also, some of these relics could very well fall into the wrong hands. Even used with the best of intentions, the society can identify those things which would cause those who use them to turn on their own. Magical powers can be very dangerous if left unchecked. In fact, it's one of the reasons I had to... It's one of the reasons I had to step away I saw firsthand what Pathfinders went through to recover And protect the people of this world from those sorts of relics

To hide them deep in vaults underground so that they could no longer hurt anyone else I lost many friends in that exact pursuit. Ridding this world of the dangers that it can wreak upon itself is one of the society's major objectives. I take great offense at the idea that just because a Pathfinder Society lodges here, enemies will swarm down upon your town. The same can be said for the Church of Iomide. Valor's army himself is going to bring nothing here but warriors clad in arms and armor

who are going to make this an outpost for their war of righteousness against whomever deity they decide next. for their war of righteousness against whomever deity they decide next. And what happens when those enemies come with their battalions on horseback, their flying mounted warriors swooping into your town, knocking your towers down and killing your families, your children? The Pathfinder Society does not have enemies that raise battalions. It does not have enemies that swarm demons from the abyss down upon your people.

Political enemies, yes, perhaps, but not those that would tear your city apart. those that would tear your city apart. I believe it is a good thing for the Pathfinder Society to be in this place, and I know that all worshippers of Iomide would be welcome here. Welcome and kept as if it was their very home. Well, one among you is a worshipper of Iomide. Yes, and I did not know that, I confess. It is very nice to know. Because in the society, it is not the first question that is asked.

You are not pigeonholed by what you believe or where you were raised or what you look like. You are only judged on your deeds. Well, we do things different here at Olmos. When you meet someone at a bar or a restaurant, the first thing you ask them is, what god do you worship? Is that a fact?

No, because that would be weird. That would be awful. But you, young lady, fresh out of high school no doubt, you worship Iomedae and yet you think the Pathfinder Society Lodge is more useful here than a church dedicated to the Inheritor. Explain yourself. Well, I guess it just comes down to the difference between a hawk and a dove. Or a magpie, she says.

She like tickles the chin of her little bird. I wasn't aware that the city of Almas was looking to charge forth into battle. Everybody knows that the Eagle Knights have their place in society. Tell us, Stiffens. And they serve with honor. But I thought they were mostly for defending the innocent, not going out on crusade. As a worshiper of Iomedae myself, my relationship with her is personal

and I believe that I can do most good for her by helping to keep this world safe, not by

starting more war. But perhaps helping to keep this world safe not by starting more war but perhaps I'm wrong Mara do you agree with your friends here uh yes

I absolutely agree sorry my cat is trying to eat the pizza that I have over here we explicitly said no pets here on the house but Freya's allergic

I would like of course I agree I wouldn't be a member of the Pathfinder Society if it didn't benefit me or benefit everyone why would I be here to defend a thing I didn't benefit me or benefit everyone? Why would I be here to defend a thing I didn't believe in? I have to ask, Tala, you are renowned for being a fair and level-headed council member.

Who told you that? Is it fair that someone who legally and rightfully purchased a property is now being told, Shepard Deming, you need to get out of here is now being told that they don't have a right to the property that they fairly purchased I'm actually asking it's not rhetorical

I will reserve judgment until the end, however you make a good point. I would like to ask you to consider that. I am. Thank you. Right in this moment, I'm considering it. What if the Pathfinder Society is gone from this location?

Where would they go? This isn't meant as a threat, and I don't mean this in like a mafia way, where it's like, if we're not here, who's going to protect you now? Put away your knife when you say it, then. Where would they go? This isn't meant as a threat, and I don't mean this in like a mafia way, where it's like, if we're not here, who's gonna protect you now? Put away your knife when you say it, then. I'm unarmed, okay?

I like have no weapons, all right? Sorry, that looked like a knife. I'm sorry, it's just my nails. My apologies. It's all right, it happens actually all the time. If the Pathfinder Society isn't here, you might find that you realize after it's gone that you're less protected than you were and that you face more danger. And I don't mean that in a threatening kind of way. I just mean that in the reality of the fact.

And also, if I may just add on to that, because that is a lovely point. You had your time, Alf. I would just like to add one more thing, if I may, if it please the court. You make it. Thank you so much. It brings up a very interesting point here, which is that not only can the Pathfinder Society,

if it came to it, offer a great deal of protection for those villagers of the town, but also it is not only can the Pathfinder Society, if it came to it, offer a great deal of protection for those villagers of the town, but also it is not only a place of war and fighting, and it is not only a place of divine worship. It is also a place of knowledge, a place of research, a place where people will come from all over to bring knowledge of all the different nations of Galarian and bring it here to Almas of all the different nations of Galerion, and bring it here to Almas, and make it a center of learning and growth

that could bring trade and education beyond what is here now. Whereas I believe, with no disrespect to Valor, that the path that Iomedae, as good as their intentions are, will be focused only on the worship of Ioma Day and little else. Racist dwarf. Well, I think we're all in agreement here.

Well, I think that we're all in agreement that you have a real nice city here and it'd be a shame if anything happened to it. And he sits down. Oh, jeez. And, like, that was not meant as a threat, okay?

I just want to be really clear that we are not making threats here, all right? That is just, like, a statement of fact. Well, I should say, I don't want you to misconstrue it as a veiled threat. This is actually just a bald threat. Oh, my God. Skid, I want to have you roll it as a veiled threat. This is actually just a bald threat. Oh my god. Skid, I want to have you roll Intimidation. Okay. Charlotte Ann, were you still... You were still full of shit, so give me your

Occultism again as Deception. Mara, you're right down Broad Street with your arguments here, so I feel like you should roll your Strengths, which would be Diplomacy. Probably Diplomacy. I'm choosing a different roll your strengths, which would be diplomacy. Probably diplomacy, yeah. I'm choosing a different guy. And, I mean, Joe, you were tapping into

your forensics, so I'm going to have you do legal lore. That was straight-up debate team capital. The champion himself. Talking circles around them. And it's so great in that accent. You can just pull off so much bullshit. Paula Deming,

you get right out of this room. No, you didn't. No, you didn't. I can't believe this. You can't see it. It's a one in 400 chance.

Two different dice, two different d20s, Two 1s. That one is out of the game now. I'm angry. I'm angry about it. These checks are very important. What did you roll for intimidation?

I rolled a little bit better. I got a 7. I'll use a freaking hero point. You know what? I'm actually going to use a hero point as well. I'm going use a freaking hero point. You know what? I'm actually, I'm going to use a hero point as well. I'm going to use a hero point. All right. Okay. My lone remaining hero point. All right.

Slash bottle cap. Okay, good news. I rolled worse. That's a four. That's good news. Mary Lou. 17. Occultism, deception, cool feat.

17. 17? Okay. And... With my hero point, I now have a total 17 as well. Ah, you used the old HP. I used it. You said these checks are very important, and I got nervous, so I used it.

Why not? I rolled two in a row. Use them up. It all comes down to Joe O'Brien. Joe, how did you do with legal lore? I got a 20. Oh. A dirt Twanzoni.

Love it. This is amazing how it actually worked out. Okay. You've gone through your introductions. You've gone through your arguments. Talos stands up, nudges Freya, who's falling asleep during most of your speeches. I hate her.

I'm going to punch her in the face. Can I just say, when other people were talking, I was definitely spending one minute pursuing a lead on Freya Greensong. I want to know more about her. Yeah, something's up with this elf. Well, she stands up with this elf. Well, she stands up and she says, thank you

to both sides. We're going to go deliberate now. I'd like you to stay around the area. Please don't tarry too far. And we will... Looks at her pocket watch. We'll reconvene shortly to go over our decision.

All right? And she stands up, and she leaves, and then Freya goes up to Valor and kisses him on the lips, and then... Try to just make out, like, this hardcore. Makes out with a robot, and just gives you a, hmm. And she walks out, and then Tritus, the gnome, comes up to pull you aside.

He's like, you seem to have done very well indeed. I only hope that my colleagues feel the same way. Anyhow, I need to go deliberate. Don't tarry too far. This shouldn't take long with only three of us. Goodbye. And he leaves. And Venture Captain Brackett pulls you outside of the room and away from Valor.

You have your own little space there. He's like, you did well in there. And, you know, come what may, we can't control their decision. But I assure you that not all is lost. I am confident that things will be okay, one way or another. I want a sense motive as he's talking. Bracket? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, roll a sense motive. If you hear princesses purring, she thought that was a really good idea that I had. Okay, 18. 18. Because I'm also casting, I rolled a 17, but I'm also casting my hex cantrip, which is discern secrets. He seems to be a little unsure of how well you did, and he's just trying to make you feel better. Okay.

There were a few outbursts in there that he's just trying to make you feel better. Okay. There were a few outbursts in there that he would have liked to have not happened. But time passes, and you have a ham and cheese sandwich in the cafeteria of the Golden Cathedral. This is my

favorite part. It's all said and done, and you can finally sit down and have a nice ham sandwich. They're ready to see you in the said and done and you can finally sit down and have a nice ham sandwich. They're ready to see you in the council chamber and you can't even eat it. Jimmy Page! Jimmy Page comes back.

Jimmy, play us one. Play us one. Play us in, Jimmy. Then he walks you back to the room and as the three of them are there with And he walks you back to the room. And as the three of them are there with Valor and Brackett is starting to usher you in. But just as you're like going back in, you're mad that you didn't get to eat. And you're starting to get seated.

Everyone's being weirdly quiet, you know, in anticipation of the verdict. And this silence is broken by the sounds of bells ringing in the distance. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. And Venture Captain Brackett was just about to sit down, and he stands up. And you all see a look of concern on his face and he says Chair Farthing would you mind, I understand that you're ready to give your decision

but would you mind if I sent my colleagues here back to the lodge as you can hear by the bells something seems to be wrong and Tala looks to Freya who's like come on we've got to do this now and Tritus understands as a former Pathfinder and she's like go, that's fine, come on, we've got to do this now, and Tritus understands as a form of pathfinder, and she's like, go, that's fine.

Just come back as soon as you can. Thank you. And he pulls the four of you out into the hallway, and Valor stands up like, What? What? What? We just thrown parliamentary procedure out the door.

Why don't you come and help us fight, Valor? He's very upset. And you can't tell because he has no expression. But he just, from his general demeanor, he's a very upset robot. And Brackett pulls you outside into the hallway in a very hushed, urgent voice. He's like, quickly now. The four of you, return to the lodge.

Those bells are a signal. This is an urgent call for aid against intruders. Just go there, see what's wrong, and help if you can. I will be by shortly. I will join as soon as I'm able. This is terrible timing. Here, take these. And he reaches into his pocket, and he gives you three tangle foot bags. He's like, I don't know what's going on, but if there's any way this matter can be handled without public bloodshed, that would be preferable in front of all of the people.

Defending the lodge is essential. You know, you want to stay alive. But the whole city is watching, so we should take care not to give anyone reason to further resent the society. Now, go. Dong, dong, dong. Well, we must not tarry. And we start hustling over there. This is bizarre.

Yeah. That at this moment. Yeah, does this seem... Yeah, seems a little orchestrated. There's no way that we could do a check probably to test this, because how would you be able to tell? But it feels like... This feels way convenient, right?

Well, yeah. It's like a clue. I mean, that's what it is.? Well, yeah. It's like a clue. I mean, that's what it is. It's a clue. It's a raging clue. Raging clue. I feel like. Who would benefit?

Could I do, like. Freya Greensong. Who would benefit from the lodge being either unoccupied or occupied by the church at this moment? Well, also, wait. I'm just saying I think that Freya Greensong would benefit from a show of violence and someone attacking. Like, she could have just paid, you know, bandits to come in and do this. Yeah.

Could I use? I don't know. I'm thinking Reekstog Fire is what I'm thinking. You're thinking what? Reekstog Fire. False flag. Some sort of. I don't know. I'm thinking Riksdag fire is what I'm thinking. You're thinking what? Riksdag fire. False flag. Some sort of, I don't know, some sort of reason why the church would, you know, something violent happens and the church is like, see, you need us. Exactly.

You need us to defend you. Let's get there. Hey, Troy, is it possible, and obviously feel free to say no to this, but as someone who is skilled in their own deception, would I be able to use my knowledge of deception to see if there's any signs of, like, this is definitely a trick or a trap or something? Yeah, for sure. Do you need to look deeper into this?

Yeah, roll it as you're hurrying over there. Ooh, ooh, that's a 22. Okay, whatever dice that is, keep whatever dice that is. That's the one. That's the one. Because I rolled an 18 on that one. A 22 total.

The timing of this is oddly convenient, as you all assumed. But without knowing what exactly is oddly convenient, as you all assumed. But without knowing what exactly is going on, it's hard to say if the people you were just in the room with have anything to do with this or not. It does seem oddly timed, and it was hard to gauge from everyone's face. If someone was like, oh, the bells? That's strange right now. As we encounter whatever we encounter, if I could keep, Mara

would like to keep her eye out for anything that seems like it could be connected to any of the people on the council. Any clues she might see, like, wait a minute, that sure seems like someone related to an elf who has a business that might be used for laundering money.

I don't know, but I'd like to see if I can make connections as we... I love it. So something seems fishy and your spidey senses are tingling. Probably all of your spidey senses are tingling as you rush back to the Almus Cathedral. The quickest route back there takes you along the same route you walked this morning right to that big archway. And as you're going, the din of the busy streets are replaced by stunned silence as everyone is looking in the direction of the lodge where these bells are. Probably every ring means something different. And Brackett knew from that particular ring that meant intruders in the lodge.

So everyone in town inside, you could hear it a little bit. Now you're outside, it's dong, dong. It's really loud. And so you keep walking. And the further you get, the closer you get to the Almus Lodge, the more chaotic it gets until you get right outside the steps. The steps where a woman was murdered, according to Brackett.

The steps where the ghost came back and blamed the Pathfinder Society for her murder. But what you see now is not that scene at all. What you see is something completely different. Because as you roll up on the market square and just see everybody staring at this obviously chaotic scene that is starting to come into view as you get closer, you see people just like, ah, fuck, come on, my stuff, my things! And you see this, first it looks like a humanoid, like a really thin person.

But then you're like, it's not a person. It looks like a person, but it's actually like a really thin person but then you're like it's not a person it looks like a person but it's actually like a construct similar to Valor but not as big and beefy it's like a clockwork construct that is just going around and like destroying the market square

like grabbing things and breaking them and people are like, oh, my shit, my cantaloupes, what are you doing? My cabbages! And as you enter the square and see this, you also see like little bric-a-brac and knick-knacks have been like animated,

and they're attacking people as well. And they're like, get this shit off of me! And then an older man comes to the square right at the same time as you and he's wearing the badge of the Pathfinder Society and he looks around, he's like, he's got this expression on his face, he sees that you have the badges as well

and he comes up and he's like, yes, thank you for getting here so fast. Please, stop, Junior. But whatever you do, don't destroy it. If you can get close enough, I don't know what could be wrong with it, but if you can get close enough, you can just disable the mechanism on his back.

And you look, and you see this clockwork construct just like, destroying things, and there is like a winding mechanism on its back as he's destroying things. But then there's all this other animated shit as well. And at that moment the clockwork

shoots its hand across the square and there's this regal statue of an eagle knight that comes to life and starts walking to an old woman. The old woman's like, no, no! With her cage, she's like, ah! I'll get it away! And the guy's like,

oh, I should mention that it can also do that. It can also animate things that are inanimate. I taught it how to do that, but I'll go help the old woman and the vendors. Just stop, Junior. Roll for initiative. Wow, this is a

bizarre situation. Junior? This is not good. My gosh. How do you let... Yeah, I mean, this is a bizarre situation. This is not good. How do you let... Yeah, I mean, this is like the singularity. You let a construct go that can create constructs out of anything? A Pathfinder Society member has now an out-of-control construct. Uh-oh. Bad business.

We're going to have to... There's going to be a cover-up. It's inevitable. Yeah, I don't trust this guy. I've opened up the map here, and I realized that I need to change one of the pawns

because some things may not have been revealed yet. So I will quickly change a pawn. And let's talk about... Nish! Mara, what'd you get?

Rough day, Mara. Five total. Wow. Yeah, I'm really annoyed, too. Are you sure? You're rolling perception? I have a plus three to my perception, and I rolled a two. too. I didn't know it could be that low. Are you sure? You're rolling Perception? I have a plus three to my Perception, and I rolled a two. Wow.

Yowza. I'm so annoyed because I want to run in there. I'm a monk. I want to run in there and deal with this. I forgot you were a monk. You're going to mess that thing up. Very, very slow monk. What did you get, Dr. Pierce? I hate dice.

I got a 14. 14 for Dr. Pierce. Urist? Urist got a 14 also. 14 for Urist. And Charlotte Ann. 24. 24.

There she goes. Just a really cat. Reflexes of the teen. All right, so here's what you see. 24. Nice. There she goes. Reflexes of the teen. All right, so here's what you see. Down in the southeast corner of the map, you can see the Almus Cathedral, which has now been repurposed. It's been repurposed for a decade as the Pathfinder Society Lodge. Imagine a lot more pandemonium and people screaming, and somewhere in in the distance a statue of an eagle knight is attacking an old woman as that man went to help.

However, you see these little knickknacks, these little blocks, these little children's blocks that are attacking people and then you see Junior. Oh god. Oh my. Hi Junior. He kind of looks like the droids in

Star Wars. In Attack of the Clones. In Attack of the Clones. IG-88 kind of looks like the droids in Star Wars. In Attack of the Clones. In Attack of the Clones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have IG-88 kind of, right? Yeah. A little IG-88-ish. Or the one that dips the droid into the vat.

You only see... Chat, what's that guy's name? Watch, it's going to take two seconds for someone to name that droid. Torture droid? Yeah, that droid. Come on, you nerds. Tell us. Anyways, so you guys,

this is what you see. The man told you to disable it. But you don't know how. Round one, Charlotte Ann. Okay. Yes, Charlotte Ann. Moi, 24.

Okay, first, what I'm going to do is I'm trying to see if this old man, whomst I already distrust completely. You distrust everybody. Definitely. Definitely. If he was telling the truth about how Junior is disabled with the crank on his back, was he telling the truth about that? That is what I'm doing first. For your first out of three actions, you're going to try and see if he's telling the truth. And that is only one. Snarf.

Okay, 12. You feel like he's telling the truth. He seemed sincere. He seemed sincere. He seemed upset. He seemed to really care about this clockwork construct. But everything was happening so fast, it's hard to tell whether or not he really was telling the truth. Did you say snarf, by the way? Yeah, I did.

I did. That's my favorite curse word. Okay. Okay. Then with my other two actions, with my remaining two actions, I am going to cast my cantrip Mage Hand. Yeah. Oh, nice.

And I am, well, actually, you know what? I didn't measure. I didn't measure completely. How far away is Junior from me? He's not that far. He's 25. 25, perfect. It's got a range of 30 feet.

I'm going to use Mage Hand, and I'm going to crank that wheel just like he described. All right, so you use Mage Hand. The Mage Hand appears right near the back of Junior, and it almost is as if it doesn't have enough actions to do what you want it to do. One could almost feel as if it needs more than one single

action. Okay. You should turn the thing. Oh, so maybe it gets like one revolution, but maybe it needs to get another revolution. Maybe two, maybe three. Maybe three.

Okay, well, Charlotte and I is going to say, Snarf! And then her turn is over. Two Snarfs. Snarf! Was that a full round, Snarf? Yeah, that's a full round. One plus two equals three. So this clockwork

seems out of control. And in fact, I will just lift the old screen and let you know that his actions are controlled by a dice roll to see what he does. Oh, gosh. So this is what Junior does.

Junior's just like... moves very haphazardly right towards Mara and goes to strike you with its fist and rolls a

23 against your AC. Oh, jeez. Yeah, that hits. That will do it. Okay, obviously not a crit. You don't have a 13 AC, right? No, no, no. My AC's 18, so not a crit, not a crit. You don't have a 13 AC, right? No, no, no. My AC is 18, so not a crit. But definitely hit. You'll live forever.

However, that is four points of bludgeoning damage. So it's just like... It hits you with its clockwork fist for four points of damage. And let's see. Just make sure the movement-wise. Yeah. And then we'll go to strike you again. Probably a very low chance of it

hitting here and misses, I'm assuming. You said, yeah, you have an 18 AC. 18, yeah. And the second one pounces off your armor. Mara, yeah, just goes and she caught off guard by the first one but then is able to, like, regain herself and kind of dodge out of the way in the second one.

Nice. Dr. Pierce. Dr. Pierce is going to try to take care of this, though. Yeah, I feel like he's got to try to take care of it. Every instinct is going to be wrong. He moves up and will attempt to crank the thing. Okay. I would like to do my own check.

How about you move and do a knowledge check? Okay. Learn about this because you saw Charlotte Ann use magic to turn it and it didn't work. You're wise enough to know that like you couldn't just go up and do it oh okay i thought you said it's magic got it um i thought i just needed more time um okay so what are we talking here uh is it is it uh arcana is it well i was thinking i could roll. I don't know if you'd be interested in that. I would allow crafting, assuming maybe you dabbled in some clockwork

creation yourself. But arcana as well, because obviously it sounds like this guy has imbued the clockwork with the ability to animate objects, so there is some magic. Okay. I'm going to roll crafting because it's the same. Either way, see if... Oh, that's a 20.

Ooh, nice. Nice, Joe. That's a very good roll. Here's what you know. If you want to try and shut this thing down, it is going to be a disabled device check. And it's going to take three actions to do it. And that's very tricky because you need to already

be next to it in order to use your three actions. With the 20, I can tell you this. You know from your days of reading encyclopedias about creating clockworks, they tend to have this thing where they're wound up and then they just act for a certain amount of hours, usually like 24 hours. And then when they're done, they have to be wound up again. 24 hours.

And then when they're done, they have to be wound up again. Depending on how many hours are left, you might have to do this rotation, this three-action rotation several times. Unless you critically succeed, which will count as multiple rotations. Oh my God.

So timing is everything here. Do you hem it into a corner so you can surround it and get near it? I don't know. Some... everything here. Do you hem it into a corner so you can surround it and get near it? I don't know. I mean, does anyone know how to disable a device of this nature? It requires a great deal of skill with anyone experienced

lockpicking or clockwork. Because, I mean, we can't just do that. If you're not trained in thievery, you can't disable a device. Well, some of us are trained in thievery. So you can do it? I don't know, but

what I do know is that it needs to stand still and someone gave us angle foot bags. Yeah, they did. It's going to be very, very tricky. So yeah, there might be only one of you that can disable the device. You could also just...

It's attacking you. You might just have to wipe it out and say, sorry, old man! We're going to die! That's where I'm at. You have some decisions you have to make. But you feel like your thievery's in good shape? I got a plus five. I mean, that's about as good as it gets. Yeah. Alright, great. Then I will

One more action. Third action. I'm going to I'm going to move away. I'm going to move away and create some distance for myself. And I will prepare to use this Tanglefoot bag.

I like this. So you move in, you take a closer look. It's outside of my realm of expertise. I'm sorry. Hop in there and get to work. I'll try to keep it down for you. He works better from a distance. He doesn't need to get whacked in the face by this thing. As I said, I have an A constitution.

One hit could put me down. And it did not attack you, so maybe it doesn't have an attack of opportunity, or maybe it didn't use it. Yeah, I'm hoping it's not coordinated you, so maybe it doesn't have an attack of opportunity or maybe it didn't use it on the likes of you. Yeah, I'm hoping it's not coordinated enough for that, but, you know, took a risk. It is Urist's turn. All right.

Can I just say for a second, I love your character's name, Skid. Absolute home run. Urist Bone Dog. That is amazing. Thank you, Joe. Yes, I was wondering. I have been playing a lot of Dwarf Fortress recently.

So, yeah, Urus realizes that this is his hour. That he can do something here that's useful. So he steps, takes one action, steps forward and he says, hold still, you big walking timepiece!

And he is going to try to grapple the automaton. Ah, all right, a little grapple. Works a little differently in Pathfinder 2E than it does 1E. Grapples an attack action, and you're going to be rolling an athletics check against the Fortitude DC of Junior. So go ahead and roll your athletics check.

I... Alright, I haven't talked a lot of crap about Norse Foundry lately, but I'm going to now. Oh no! This is bullcrap. That is an 11. 11? Alright, well, like most actions Oh, no. Bull crap. That is an 11. 11.

All right. Well, like most actions in this game, there are four degrees of success slash failure. There's critical success, success, failure, and critical failure. Luckily for you, that was just a failure in which, in this case, you failed to grab your target. If you already had the target grabbed or restrained using grapple from a previous turn, those conditions add. Could have been worse. I think if you critical fail, you're like, let me grab you

and you fall to the ground. It's embarrassing. Well, let's find out what that's like. I'm going to try again. I have one action left. Where it does have the attack trait, it will take multiple attack points. Is it an agile attack because I'm not using a weapon,

so it's just minus four as opposed to minus five? I don't think so, but I don't know. I think it's minus five still. I think it's an unarmed strike. I think you have to be trained in unarmed combat. Well, you probably are, right? Yeah, because like a fist is like minus four. Let's see if it gets close so I don't have to give a proper ruling because I'm not sure.

Natural three. Oh, no. For all of your random number generating needs. It has been a while. That's the little caveat there. You want a random number between, say, two and seven. You want a random number between, say, two and seven. I really respect you all for rolling physical dice right now,

because I do not trust myself with all the modifiers. I'm using Path Builder and putting my soul in its hands and letting the algorithm decide my fate. What was your total, Skid? algorithm decide my fate? What was your total skin? Well, depending. That is that's either a 5 or a 6. A 5 or a 6.

Are you trained in unarmed attacks? I believe I am. You should know click weapon. Oh, I don't know if you're on I think grapple has the attack Trait, it doesn't have any other trait It doesn't have an agile trait, it doesn't have

Here's the good news, it doesn't matter That's a critical failure Either way In the sense of a critical failure Either Junior can grab you Or It can force you to fall and land Prone, so I'm going to do that So you go to grab Junior a second grab you or it can force you to fall and land prone.

So I'm going to do that. So you go to grab Junior a second time and it just slips to the side and you tumble to the ground, forcing you now to use the action to stand if you so choose. Alright, so it's a little bumbling. A little bumbling here with this

rubbit. Level one. Levelbit. Level one. Level one. Level one. We're doing our best, Troy. It is the animated knick-knacks turn. Oh, no. The knick-knacks.

The animated knick-knacks just slide up to Charlotte Ann. Oh, no. Can we nix the knick-knacks? Seven children. I'm picturing my grandmother's bay window. It was just filled with all these precious moments and all these weird little knickknacks. They all come to life and come after you.

A little horrified. And you just get pelted by them. And I rolled the damage die instead of the die. Probably going to be a hit with a 20. Yeah, that's a hit. All right, you take five points of bludgeoning damage. Oh my gosh!

I think that's more damage than the robot. Ow! Ow! Charlotte Anne goes, ow! She goes, ow! And then the final action just slides next to you and Urist. I'm assuming, I don't want to assume, but do you have an attack of opportunity as a witch? I do not.

So it does not provoke as it slides in to the now prone Urist. And it is Mara's turn. Mara the monk! I have a couple questions because in our other game I'm playing a spellcaster, so there's a few little mechanics that I have never had to think about before.

First question is would Mara know if she were to cast a spell days, if the target to cast the spell daze, if the target critically fails at a will save, they become stunned one. Now that takes away one action from them on their next turn. Would that be helpful at all in keeping them still for other people's attempts to wind their thing? Or is that like not really how that works?

An excellent question. and one of the many beauties of the three-action economy of Pathfinder 2nd Edition. Before you do that, you have two options. You can try it and see what happens, or you can spend an action doing a knowledge check to see if it's immune to the stunned condition. Oh, yeah.

Because it's awkward. Taking away one action may not be enough to keep it in one place because it seems to be reacting randomly. So my other question is if you're flanking that makes them flat-footed

so that's a minus one on minus two on what kind of checks. It's minus two to the character that's being flanked's AC, so they're easier to hit. They're AC, so they're easier to hit, but it wouldn't necessarily make a difference, for example, with this daze, which requires a will save. Correct, yeah. Okay, so thank you very much for explaining all that to me This is great for the people listening

And it's also great for us Because one of the things you'll find out Right out of the gate if you listen to us We don't know all the rules It's really hard To know all the rules We know some We know like 3 or 4% of the rules

This is the best way to learn Just get up and play Get your head out of the book. This is the best way to learn. Just get up and play. Get your head out of the book. Learn by making mistakes. It's so much more fun to learn while failing. While all the other

party members are doing their actions, like in slow motion, Mara is watching Urist come over and fall down and Charlotte Ann get pelted by children's blocks. And Mara thinks, oh, should I flank this thing? Oh, should I try and daze it so it's stunned? You know what?

No. She's just going to use her entire turn, all three actions, because she's right up next to the automaton or the construct. She's going to reach out and see if she can turn the wheel. She's right there. Crank it, baby. Crank it. And so this is a thievery?

Or could I use athletics to do this right? Because I need to, like, strongly and agilely. You know what I'm saying? You're not wrong. You're not wrong in the sort of fantasy of the game. You think you should be able to use athletics but now that you're this close to the thing you see it is a complicated

mechanism. And now they see the reality of it. Yeah, you're like, oh god, brute strength is not going to help here. I need to use my, like you're picking a bomb. So it would be a thievery check to disable a device. Now Joe, you had mentioned that you need to be trained in thievery to disable a device, or can you just roll the check with your thievery?

I presumed you needed to be trained to disable a device, but I could be wrong. I'm not trained, but I do have a plus three, whatever that means. Yeah, it's from your deck. Some devices require you to use thieves' tools. Look, we can say I can't do this because... I think you're fine. It says some devices require you to use these tools. You're not trying to break into a treasure chest.

No, yeah, yeah. You're trying to shut this thing down. It actually tells you if you need to be trained or not right at the top of the skill. So you're good. This is a manipulated action. I'll find it in two seconds. If I rolled before we decided whether or not

I could actually do this, do we think that roll counts? Depends. That depends on if you want to be able to sleep tonight or if you feel comfortable in cheating well that's my third natural one of the game so wow that's just 3d20s i'm not rolling anymore you know when you're trying to disable a device and you critically fail you trigger the device. Oh, no. This is why I thought I was going to save that

hero point, and I should have stuck to my guns. Here's the good news. I hate it. Why do dice do this to me? It doesn't explode. However, he is very triggered. Oh, he's hashtag triggered. He's very triggered by it. Is he going to cancel us? He might cancel you.

He's feeling triggered. Why. Is he going to cancel us? He might cancel you. He's feeling triggered. Why do I feel like he wants to join me? I looked it up on Pathfinder Too Easy, and it's as determined by the GM. Whether you need thieves tools or whether you need a higher proficiency rank or whether you need to be trained. You do need to be trained. Oh, you do need to be trained. Yeah, I mean, according to the core rulebook, it is under thievery trained actions.

It's separate. Like, you can have thievery be untrained and you can steal. You can palm an object. But disable a device is the first thing under trained thievery actions, which is another layer. Wow.

So it sounds like my natural one is canceled because I didn't actually do that because I couldn't have. It's certainly a lot more fun to have you just do it. It sounds like what happened is I wasn't trained in it and I tried it anyway and so instead I've activated

it. It makes sense. It really follows. The system works. It does. What we've learned is the system works. Yeah, I think you're fine. Obviously, it did not work. You are not the woman for this job. I certainly am not.

That took you three actions. That's all three actions, so I'm just there. It's round two, and perhaps Charlotte Ann can help here. I'm sorry, y'all, that I failed that so hard. That's okay, babes. You're still my best friend. Thank you. Just met.

Okay. Can't your magpie do something in combat? Send them to poke some eyes out. Caw. That's not exactly... It sounds more like...

Caw. That's right. That's right. Caw. I'm actually... He's just sort of hovering near me, sort of being like... Because I have not commanded him yet.

Um, okay. Does Charlotte Ann, so Charlotte Ann has had some experience trying to mage hand this crank, and it did not work. And I needed more time. I needed more time. Does she understand that? That she needed more time? Or did she understand that she needed to physically do it herself? No, I think the mage hand would still work,

but in sort of the meta of the game, you need to use three actions to do it. Now, it depends on mage hand here for 2E. You directed that hand to where it. Now, it depends on Mage Hand here for 2E. You directed that hand to where it originally was. I have a feeling, without even looking, that moving the hand to a new location would cost you an action. So the pickle you're in

right now is that you're not right next to it to do three actions. What you could do is delay, but does delay take an action? Delay is free. Delay is free action. You might want to delay since you seem to be the one of the group

that can do this and wait and see if it hopefully gets into an advantageous position. I don't love waiting and hoping. Both Mary Lou and Charlotte Ann. Oh, both two-named girls. Oh. Do not love that. both Mary Lou and Charlotte Ann. Oh, both two-named girls. Do not love that.

So, I'm assuming that I also have a Tanglefoot bag. Yeah, sure. What three of you do. He gave you three bags. I think it's clear Joe didn't take one. I took one. Joe took one. I'm saying I took one. Okay, both of you race to see who took one.

I probably didn't take it because my instinct was to tackle him. So I would have. I have it. That makes sense. Okay, so this is Mary Lou being totally honest. I don't know what action I would use to throw a bag or use a bag. An interact action? Is that just interact? Interact with a bag or use a bag? An interact action? Is that just interact with a bag?

It's probably going to be a ranged attack. Let's look up Tanglefoot Bag here. I know Tanglefoot because my other character on Blood of the Wild has Tanglefoot. You just do a strike. You just do a ranged strike.

Just a ranged strike? Yeah. So it would be at your basic ranged strike bonus, which what's your dexterity? Plus five. Well, my dexterity is plus two, but my hit, my to hit is plus five. With what?

With a dagger, which is my weapon. But that's a melee, right? Or is that the ranged version? Well, it can be thrown as a ranged attack. I imagine it's your proficiency bonus plus your dex, so it's probably... It could be five. Just roll it and let's see if it's close. It'll be three or five.

Okay. I like five. Let's choose five. I like five, too. That's crazy. Just my close. It'll be three or five. Okay. I like five. Let's choose five. I like five, too. That's crazy. Just my opinion. Okay. Oh, come on.

Oh, no. Come on. Guys. Zero to one. Zero to one. Oh, my God. I'm sorry it's spreading. And it wasn't even a physical dice.

It was the it was I was just about to say our critical hit would be clutch because it's immobilized well I wish this were fishes I rolled a one plus three

or five not great so Joe you got the chart up got the whole app up? I don't. Are we doing it? Why not, huh? For shits and gigs here? Oh, no. I'm sorry. I mean, I do have another hero point. Okay, hold on, guys.

Just use it. I'm aggressive with my hero points, and I have another one because Skid gave me his bottle cap. He did. I distinctly remember. I am a huge fan of hero points on fun. I'm aggressive. That is where you use them. I'm aggressive with my hero points,

and a literal natural one, it literally cannot get worse. So I am going to roll it again. And that's a 13, so plus 3 is 16, or plus 5 is 18. Oh, it's plus 5, so 18. Yes! 18

is a hit. Yes! Now, this was a lesser tangle put bag, and so the good news is you hit. The bad news is he's not immobilized, because that needed a critical strike. However, he loses 10 feet of his speed.

He's strode very quickly up. So if he does move, he won't be able to move as far this round. Awesome. And so drawing that bag and throwing it, that's two actions. You have one action left. Drawing that bag, throwing it,

two actions. I have one action left i don't want to move because i feel like he's just going to move again and so it's going to be a waste of time a waste of an action so uh in order to protect my familiar, Pika, who is the love of my life. Ka. And Ka. Pika. My best friend. I am going to use one action to command an animal.

And because my familiar has the minion trait, it only needs one action instead of two. I'm going to command him, and he has the trait Flyer because he's a frickin' bird. I'm gonna command him to fly 25 feet in the air. Just 25 feet up. So... So I don't

think anybody can touch him here. There's a bunch of things I can do to protect him, but I think, honestly, it's easy enough just to have him fly up 25 feet in the air. So that's what I'm going to use my last action to do. It is now Junior's turn, and I already told you because I think it's fun to let you know, his actions are determined by the roll of a dime.

So this could either help or make things worse. It's like it will be the latter. Strip in the pangle foot. Because he is going to, yet again, stride and strike. However, there are enemies right next to him. So, with Urist prone

in front of him, I'll assume that your AC has changed, not unlike Pathfinder First Edition while prone? Yes, prone does lower your AC by two. Much like being flat footed. Oh no, it makes you flat footed.

It makes you flat footed. So it just rains a blowdown on this poor fallen dwarf and misses with a nine. Oh, it's a sprightly old dwarf. And then just sillily.

Sillily? You can say that, right? Sillily. Fucking slam. And this one, it actually might hit, because I rolled very high, but it's going to be a 19. That is a hit. That is a hit. All right, so the second one actually does hit for four points of bludgeoning damage.

No! And then it takes a step towards Mara. Come at me, bro. Things are not going well for this team. However, it might be an early night. It is Dr. Piss's turn. Because of a TPK? Fun!

Because the first combat TPK. Your legal arguments were great and all, but then you died to a random construct, so... Oh, what a way to go. What a way. Dr. Pierce? I'm afraid, my friends, that this has rather flown the coop, as we say. There is no means to disable this particular device, and we're just going to have to owe our friend an apology. And he's going to draw out a bow, a short bow.

And then he's going to eye up. It's like looking at the, I'm trying to think. Oh, God. What is that? Oh, usual suspects. Do you remember? Usual suspects when they do the busted up robbery of the guy with the briefcase in the car. And it's supposed to be easy

but then they get jumped and there's the two huge guards and uh baldwin is standing there with two guns and he's like there's two enemies and he's trying to line up both of them uh at the same time so uh pierce is doing the same thing he's got these knickknacks at charlotte ann he's got junior on the other side of mara and he's made the decision that uh he's going to destroy these things rather than have it uh wreak havoc in this whole market. And he'll just owe that dude an apology and maybe a couple bucks. He can figure it out. And he's going to cast Electric Arc on both of them at the same time.

Knick-knack, patty-whack, give the dog a bone. So that is a reflex save, Troy. Give the bone a dog. So that is a reflex save, Troy, for both of those opponents. A reflex for old Junior or the knickknacks? Both of them. How dare you? How dare you touch my knickknacks? I had those covered in plastic.

All right, the knickknacks, they dodge out of the way, perhaps? Oh, maybe not. A 12 reflex save for the knickknacks. way, perhaps? Oh, maybe not. A 12 reflex save for the knickknacks. And then Junior, who's obviously very distracted, rolls a 23.

Just crazy, like, crazy reflex. Swoom, swoom, swoom, swoom. Okay, so the knickknacks are going to take max damage, 8 points of electricity damage. Nice. Eight points of... All right, so the knickknacks

just are obliterated. Yeah! Yeah! Well done. Get off school and around! And then three points of damage that's halved to Junior. Okay, and that was electricity damage?

Electricity damage. You're a smart guy. You notice that that hurts him a little bit more. I thought he might be a little weak. A little weak. It's so cool because vulnerability is so much cooler in 2e than it was in 1e. It's just a flat bonus to your damage.

It's great. There's a lot that I like about 2e. This sounds weird, but weaknesses and resistances might be my favorite part of 2E. It's really cool. An extra 10 damage. Oh, yeah. I take 10 less.

It's just so easy. And the reason I like it is not only because it does give flavor to the monsters and the players in fun ways, but also for people that like to dig into the grit of gaming and strategizing and stuff like I do. It's so fun to figure out how to manipulate a weakness. Like, hitting it more times in a round is going to, like, as opposed to piling up on one big hit is going to deal more damage because you exploit the weakness by each little ping, you know, that weakness keeps adding on. It's so great to, you know, get into those strategic elements.

I love it. Do you have any actions left? No, because I drew a bow first. So he's kind of preparing for next round. Urist, my poor little elderly dwarf friend, you've been knocked prone after your failed second grapple attempt. Junior, rain down blows upon you. What do you do?

Okay, this isn't the first time he's been prone in this city. He's going to stand up. Did we thank Steve Geddes, by the way? Oh my god, I don't know if we did. Steve gave out like 150 Prime Subscriptions.

It was pretty amazing. 201? 201. Wow. Prime Subscriptions. Steve. He's the greatest hero from Australia since Mad Max. Thank you so much, Steve. Seriously. He was in this fight right now. Yeah, I know. We could use his help.

Where are you now, Steve? Thank you, Steve. Uris is going to stand up and he is going to use an action to draw his bastard sword off his back and his steel shield. And he's done.

Oh, this poor, this poor construct. Please don't hurt Junior! Was the last words of that wizard. All right, it is... The knickknacks are gone. I'm not looking to, like to get into why the metagame can screw up the immersion and stuff like that. But if this dude really needed Junior, we'll go help the old lady. You shut down your robot.

Okay? You send a bunch of people in that aren't trained in disabled device. We're just going to blow that shit up. But I love that because there's two win conditions and two fail conditions. You've made a great point, Joe. Mara, finish out the round for us. Okay, well, the first thing Mara's like, okay, none of this is working. This isn't growing great.

So the first thing Mara's going to do is spend an action to change shape. She's going to, as this happens, her form, as you see it, you realize is not actually her true form, this young woman. What? And as she morphs... You said she was 28! She's still 28!

But is an anamorph style kind of what used to be her ponytail as she just very quickly morphs. You see it becomes actually her actual tail, and you see her in her humanoid fox form. She is a kitsune.

Kitsune, right? Kitsune. I always say the A at the end. Kitsune. I feel like that makes sense. And now she has all of her faculties available to her here in her true form. Same clothes, though. Everything fits pretty similar, but just more of now a fox.

More of a fox. Charlotte Anne takes a second to go, yes! Absolutely. I love all of this. Yes! It's giving and with her second action she will do

what she likes to call her furry of blows and sorry that was one of the worst things I've ever said in my life we loved it 100% so I'm going to make two unarmed strikes. They're both hitting the same creature.

So I combine their damage for the purpose of resistances and weaknesses. Apply your multiple attack penalty to the strikes normally. So does that mean the second one gets a penalty or does it count as one? It does. However, if they both hit, you combine your damage into one mega strike, which is very helpful if they have any sort of resistance. What was I going to say?

Are your fists agile? I would assume a monk's fists are agile. Yes. Okay. So it's going to be a minus four to the second attack instead of a minus five. Flurry of Blows is great. I like the one em monk, but the 2E monk is better.

Yeah, I'm interested. I'm definitely intrigued. People seem to love the 2E monk. I'll tell you, a monk would be great in Gatewalkers, dude. Okay, you know what? And the second is a nine. I don't think the second one probably hits. The first is a 15, the second is a nine. First is a 15, second is

a nine. The first one hits, the second is a 9. First is a 15, second is a 9. The first one hits, the second is not. Great. She goes ow! Because she's out of, you know. And so that's a 1d6 plus 3 bludgeoning. A little bludge. Oh, that's a 6 on the d6!

So that's 9 points of bludgeoning damage. Who says you can't roll, Paula? Who says you can't roll? Sometimes? Who says you can't roll? Sometimes it happens. All right, so you hit this thing, and I'll tell you, you're a trained monk. You notice that all that damage doesn't get through. Maybe it has some sort of resistance to physical damage.

However, you hit it so hard, it definitely affected it. I will quickly call out, it's very strong. It's like totally like resisting me, but I'm still doing good. And then for my last action, I will have it thinking about what I saw Bone Dog do. I'm like, that was probably a pretty good idea, though. And for my third action, I will attempt to grapple to hold it still for everyone else.

Alright, athletics check against its fortitude DC. Roll away. And I think it has the attack action, so this is going to be a minus 10. I'm so annoyed. Oh, this isn't it. Oh, you're right. So I have a plus 6 to my athletics,

but guess what I rolled? A 1. A natural one. That's what, four? Is that four natural ones? And there was a two in there. And there was a two in there. I'm so angry I might have to walk away from this computer

for a second. I'm so angry. No, girl. So that's a... Yep. You two fall prone to the ground. Slip, and you just, you landed that cool hit, and everybody was like, wow, she seems awesome. My balance is off, because, like, I haven't had my tail in a while.

Yeah, you trip over your own tail. My balance is off. And tumble. I'm so angry. Brutal. Ice cold. It happens sometimes. You gotta go to a new table.

I'm pretty... People who have watched me play games before know I have pretty bad dice luck. I'm at least as bad as Joe for people who are more familiar with the niche here, but yeah. Joe, how do you like being the yardstick,

the metric for bad dice rolls? I'll tell you, in Blood of the Wild, I'm like, holy shit. It's rough on Paula. It is rough on Paula. I've had a couple bad, y'all will just wait. I've had a couple bad situations.

I mean, there's one in particular that made for one of the most memorable sessions we ever had, but I was like, I would take that bullet because it is rough. Paul's dice tuck is shocking and staggering. And someone in chat was like, come play in my Call of Cthulhu game. No, the curse is a curse. It goes either way.

If I need to roll low, I roll high. It goes either way for me too. If this was a craps table, I would be moving to another craps table. Yes, pretty bad. So I'm on my bum on the ground now. Boom, you fell. And that's it. At least I did some damage. We have two party members

prone at the moment. I think you're a Scott up, right? I did get up. You are, yeah. But that took his whole turn because he had to draw his weapon and shield. Top of a new round, and it's Charlotte and... Charlotte, what do you do?

Okay. This is a half metagaming moment, half character roleplaying moment. Charlotte Anne sees how Dr. P did an electricity, you know, electric arc, and it had a huge effect.

Charlotte Ann has a pretty kick-ass spell that deals electric damage. Perfect. And so she's like, oh, should I just do that? Yeah. Like, should I stop trying to... Yes, indeed, my dear. Wipe it off the face of the planet.

You'll have to just apologize. What am I trying to do? Disable this killer robot as a favor to this old man whomst I already dislike and distrust completely? Whomst? Whomst very well may have a fraudulent patch. Hoomst might have a fraudulent patch. It might not even be paratheinic.

Because I'm already in suspicion that this is a false flag, you know, operation. Yeah, yeah, okay. Charlotte Ann is like, yeah, okay. Charlotte Anne is like, oh, no! She's not trying to help this old loser-geezer anymore. No, she's gonna crush this robotic man.

And so I'm using my one focus point. Nope, nope, yes. My one focus point, yes. Yes, my one focus point. Yes. To cast a spell. A first level spell

called Horizon Thunder Spear. That's awesome. Horizon Thunder Spear? It seriously kicks ass. I have no idea how this spell is even legal because it's like the fucking AK-47 of spells.

This looks ridiculous. It can't be a spell. Absolutely insane. I can choose to spend either two or three actions on this and you better bet your friggin butt that I'm gonna spend all three actions on this spell.

And that I'm going to spend all three actions on this spell. And I am going to gather. Oh, so you see Charlotte Ann go, Heike, give me a hand, buddy. And she's got her magic hands. You know, everybody's got magic hands. She's got her magic hands. You know, everybody's got magic hands. She's got her magic hands faced at this robot and she

forms a concentrated ball of electricity that crackles and rumbles like impossibly distant thunder. That's amazing. I have to ask. Yes. You're using the three action thing, right? All three actions, baby.

Did you read about what happens whether you hit or miss? If I miss, it still does half damage. Did you read the thing where the ball of lightning explodes, dealing 2d6 electricity damage to all other creatures and a 10-foot emanation around the target? Yeah. That's all right. Take it on.

In this combat, we'll get up again. It's fine. Nobody's taking damage except for me at this point. So if you want to talk damage. Excuse me. I'm going to talk to the marginalized communities, okay? You hit or miss. I've taken four points, okay?

Do I hit or miss? Sorry, Troy. That's if you spend two rounds casting it. Oh, it's on the second round, okay. All right, so is there an attack roll here, or I just have to roll a read? Yes, it's a spell attack roll. There is an attack roll. There's a spell attack.

Roll well. Nat 20. It is not a nat 20, but it is a 16. That is great. That is it. That's a hit. Let's go, baby. Oh, my God, you just melted this thing. How much is the spell? What is it. That's a hit. Let's go, baby. Oh, my God. You just melted this thing.

What is the spell? What is it called? It is called Horizon Thunder Sphere. Horizon Thunder. Nice, Skip. Well done. I started reading this. I'm like, what is this?

It's from Secrets of Magic. And I look at the chat and somebody's like, that is my favorite first level spell. I'm like, yeah, no shit. As I'm reading it, I'm like, this thing is amazing. When I was reading it, I was like, this literally cannot be legal. I have no idea how this absolute nuclear bomb of a spell made it into first level. I just fell like that in Blood of the Wild, and then Jared told me I couldn't take it. With a pure flying icicle, that was kick ass.

All right, Timmy, 3d6 damage. 3d6, let's go. Jared told me I couldn't take it. With a pure flying icicle, that was kick-ass. All right, Timmy, 3d6 damage. 3d6, let's go. 3d6. Let's go. That's an insane amount of damage. So, Troy, that's up to you whether I need to roll three individual sixes or whether I'm going to roll one six and then you multiply it by three. No, you roll three individual sixes because if you rolled a six, that would be an 18.

Yeah. You roll three D6s and add them up, yeah. Okay, that's five. Plus five. Oh, my God. Plus three. 13 electric damage. So you look up to your bird,

and you talk to Pika, and all of a sudden, a sphere erupts in the sky, and a lightning bolt lands in your hand, and you throw it like fucking Thor at this thing, and it explodes into a million pieces. And she's a witch, so she's a witch. She doesn't even realize. She doesn't even realize, but she starts to cackle.

She's like. Oh, dear. Glad we kept a low profile. You're out of combat, and you hear that old lady screaming, and other people screaming just sort of die down because as Junior explodes, any other things that he animated fall to the ground as well. Did he explode into bits?

Or is there anything left of him? Chunks! Everywhere! It took him so far below his hit points. I mean, there are just pieces of him everywhere. It's worse than C-3PO after he got blasted in Cloud City. Yeah, there's shit everywhere. And the guy who told you to disable him than C-3PO after he got blasted in Cloud City. Cloud City.

Yeah, there's shit everywhere. And the guy who told you to, like, disable him. He's so mad. And he's like, no! Junior! He's, like, grabbing pieces of food. It's going to be okay, Junior. It's going to be okay.

He's trying to, like, put them back together. He's like, what did you do? What did you do? Why couldn't you? Why couldn't you try to disable him? Are you supposed to be Pathfinder? Sir, calm down. Calm down.

I'm going to need you to look at me, and let's breathe together, okay? Can we take a breath in? Yeah, and a breath out. Let's center ourselves for a minute. I'm so sorry for your loss, but I have some questions for you. I am an investigator. Has this ever happened before with Junior? No, it's never happened before with Junior.

What? I just got into creating these things. I used to be way into homunculi. I used to be way into homunculi. Oh, I had one of those phases myself. But they don't help around the house, as it were. Right. So I created this thing. This was Junior.

This was my first creation. I'm so sorry. Did someone encourage you to get into automatons? I'm sorry, what? Did someone encourage you to get into automatons? Did someone, like, recommend? No, it's very lonely down below the cathedral in the vaults, and I wanted someone to help me,

and then also someone I could talk to and play chess and checkers with, and now he's gone. It's okay. Like, you can totally make another one. Here's another question. Was there anything different about today than normal that you think might have triggered this reaction that junior had well obviously something happened uh something happened to turn him like this he's never acted like this

before let me see and he starts gathering the pieces he's like well and if you have he has a sword did you strike did you strike junior he looks at you uh you're as i never got the chance to. I meant to. Did any of you strike him with a martial weapon? No. And what are these grooves here? He picks up like a piece of his chassis. He's been attacked.

May I, may I please take a look at that closer? Don't look at my son. I'm merely here to help. It's okay, we're trying to help, sir. We're investigating his murder. It's gonna be okay, boy. Technically, Charlotte Ann, you did his murder, but... Ladies, ladies, please.

Could we refrain from any sort of murderous accusations? You did his murder is not exactly something we need to be saying in public. Sir, may I please examine closer? I am an investigator. As my colleague just said, even though she's a fucking monk. Excuse me, I'm a bounty hunter. I'm an actual investigator. Okay.

Excuse you. I'm a religious bounty hunter. I like to center myself and meditate and take down criminals. That's like investigating. Understood. Whatever Dr. Pierce does next, he's getting the benefit of discern secrets.

I'd like to take a look at it. He's just very gingerly. Look what they did to my boy. I'd like to examine the damage that was done and see if I can't really hone in on it and try to identify what made the mark. What kind of weapon. If it would have been a blunt weapon, a sword. Can I do that with a perception check maybe? Yeah, absolutely.

Okay. That is a 22. 22. Okay. shag maybe yeah absolutely uh okay uh that is a 22 22 okay um and then you have some assistance there just to see is this guy putting on a big show or not no he seems to be very upset by this and you look and there is damage uh to the clockwork that none of you could have done you see the scorch marks that you and charlotte ann did uh but know Uris didn't hit him at all. There's a fist indentation from Mara's flurry of blows, but there's like sword gouges,

like he's been attacked by something else. Did anyone in the council, the council members, did any of them have swords? They did. Did they all? They all had weapons. They all had swords. Yep. Well, if you was...

Was Junior out of your sight for any extended period of time today? Yes, he often is. He has his chores to do, and he was doing them. What do you see? I wonder if maybe he was set upon by some bad actors. Was he in the lodge the entire time? Yes, he was in the lodge. If he was attacked,

that means that there are intruders in the vault as we speak. You need to go, all four of you, now, and see, because if they're still down there, there are many secrets that we society members must protect. Indeed. Yes, that we society members must protect. Indeed. Yes, I will get on that directly.

However, I do need to patch up my friends here. There's no time! Bone Dog, please. Please, sir. Please. Sir, please. Sir, please. By the way, I think you may... Can I use... Sorry, I think you may have a solid case against the Pathfinder Society for both compensatory and punitive damages.

Here's my card. I work on contingency only, no fees due. Just give me a call. Sir. Look, honestly, we really genuinely are sorry for your loss and we did not want to damage Junior, but

we couldn't stop him. It is beyond all of our skill to be able to turn the mechanism that would wind him down. That is, it was only, that was because of your genius, that he was so well built. And so I, we couldn't ever match that. It's the modern schooling. You learn the new math, and no one learns disabled device. It's the modern schooling. You learn the new math and no one learns

disabled device. It's true. I memorized for a test and I didn't learn critical thinking. You're so right. You're so right. They taught you disabled device starting in first grade. Now they just teach to the test. Now they just teach to the

test. It's all about benchmarks. Common core. Yeah. Disabled device. Sick! What I would love if you would allow me to, I would like to seek justice for Junior. May I take with us this part of his body that has these

marks on it so that we can present it to the authorities as evidence. And bring this perpetrator to justice, the true murderer of Junior. All right, but please, you need to return it to me when you're done. I can rebuild him. Sir, absolutely.

Like, I totally will, okay? I promise. I'll call him Junior Two. Junior the Second. It's brilliant. It's so good. Thank you. Junior Junior.

Yes. Yes. All right. Just go. Junior, Junior. Yes. Yes. Alright. Just go. Go into the vaults and find out what's going on and then return that chunk of Junior to me. I will rebuild him. I will not be alone any longer. Who will do my chores? So I'll take the piece so that we have

some sort of physical proof that there was sabotage and then let's go. Like, I think we should totally go. Yoris, come here. Let me patch this up here. I mean, you guys have been hit. I took damage.

Yeah, I took five points of damage. Four points? What are you going to do to heal me? I was going to do, oh, who's hurt? What are you going to do? Well, I am a doctor, my dear. I was going to treat wounds if people need it uh it is you know i don't think everybody can get it though uh you know we are in a little bit of a rush even this takes 10

minutes it would take 30 minutes if i was gonna do everybody i'm i'm okay i'm okay uh how are you feeling urus uh i took i'm 25 down and what about you? I am 33.3% down. Okay, then I will... I'm not going to do that. Yes. All right. Decision's been made, and I'll do my best. Natural 20.

Whoa! That's a critical double healing. That is a critical success double healing. What a doctor he is. Is he not? He's a doctor. I only need that. I miss. Could you do that to my boy?

Holy smokes, that was awesome. What does that do? It says double healing. I rolled very middle in, though. It's 16. 16 points of healing. Well, I guess first level, that's good. I only needed five.

16 points? That's like my heart. It's 4d8. 4d8. You gave her bionic legs. Could you save some of that for me? Charlotte Ann goes, ow, that stings. Oh, no, that feels good.

It'll be fine, my dear. And when he finishes, it's like, it's incredible what he just did like it's it's otherworldly in its experience and uh also i want to say and this is this is also just a shout out to the system i had so much fun making this character i'm an investigator i just cast fucking electric arc you'll just cast electric arc as an investigator yeah how did you do that that is because i'm an elf and I took the ancient elf heritage, which is why I said I was around when Aradin had died. Oh, that's very cool.

And the ancient elf heritage, what you get is you pick any one dedication feat, archetype feat of another class that you had in a previous life. So in his previous life with the Pathfinder Society, he was a wizard. So I took the wizard dedication, and I got four cantrips, four wizard cantrips that I can cast. That is so cool. Yeah. It's so freaking awesome.

Is Cure Wounds a cantrip? No, no. Treat Wounds is separate. I was saying when I cast Electric Arc. That's just the action. Copy. That's the action. When I cast Electric Arc, that was because of my heritage.

It had nothing to do with my class. It's very cool. My teeth are so wet right now. My teeth are so wet. Oh yeah, okay. I was like, why do I not have cure wounds in our other game, but I do. I have tree wounds. I just always feel it. It's fine. It's totally fine. I'm just

rolling back. You just roll so poorly. It never does us any good. It never heals anyone anything. I do want to say, Mary Lou, that I came into this with that idea and with that concept. I had no idea that the ancient elf heritage existed. I was like, if I'm going to play an elf, I think it would be hilarious if he was like 500 years old. It's so cool. I want to lean into that.

And there it was. It's like ancient elf was one of the heritages, and that was the bonus. And that makes perfect sense as to why he's level one, even though he's 500 years old. Because he retired. He's retired. He retired for like 100 years. That was my idea.

So he was a wizard. He's just been atrophying and not practicing and just lost all of his spell books. And now he's a Benoit Blanc. He's just looking for the perfect mystery. Right. Just sitting in the tub all day with Hugh Grant. Exactly.

I can't wait for them to make 13 more of those Knives Out movies. Anyway, keep going. Are you guys all healed up and ready to rock? Yeah, baby. As close as we're going to get. Oh, no, actually, that's not true. Holy shit. I forgot.

God, this class is so amazing. not true holy shit i forgot i got this class is so amazing he pulls out two vials and he quickly uh does his little uh puts his little reagents in them that he has on him and he'll give uh both you yoris and you mara uh elixirs of life bless her dude yeah so that's that's 1d6 1d6 healing you want to roll that or do we roll it for ourselves you roll it actually I'll roll yours

I don't know either one of us I'm scared let's put this to the test I rolled a fucking 2 I was only down for a point so 2 is pretty good and then you've got an extra one. All right, so you want to head into the building.

He's like, go! Go! Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll go to the vault. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For the record, I just rolled a five, so I should have rolled, but it's fine. God damn it. God damn it.

Sorry. No, I wouldn't have rolled that if I had actually rolled. I would have rolled another one. The dice smell it. The dice smell it when it actually matters. You walk towards the lodge from where you're standing and Junior's trail of destruction

is everywhere. And while everyone that you pass by looks bewildered and distraught at this very weird thing that just happened. Animated knickknacks and eagle knight statues and a robot running around.

You don't come across anyone else fighting animated inanimate objects. So that's good. You get to the doors and there's a pair of Pathfinder guards. They look like they're watching for someone to come out but also to come in and they see you and they say, oh, thank you for taking care of that creature, Junior. He was always very,

very kind. I was sorry to see you murder him in cold blood, but I'm sure that the wizard can fix him. Listen, there's something going on down there. We don't know how, but all of this hubbub out here, someone slipped in, and it seems like whatever is happening, they've failed in their mission as well, like a smash and grab gone wrong, perhaps. I'm not sure. But if you

follow Junior's trail of destruction, there's a secret door here that's not so secret anymore. I think it would lead you to where this is. We'll stand here to make sure nobody else gets in. But there's something going on down there. That's so interesting. Like, Valor

was so upset. Because that's only one small angle of the pathfinder society but he kept leaning on the things that they hide beneath the things that they put in their vaults and lock away yeah this the secrets that they that they lock away um you know what troy can i uh i'm gonna use that to um i'm just going to pivot my um after that i'm going to pivot my uh pursue a lead to valor like to valor himself yeah skyrim new quest comes up newly to valor um and so yeah i'm just going to keep him in mind as like he might be behind some of this because it was too much on the nose.

And then we'll head down. So right now I have him and Freya Greensong are my two leads. Okay. For what's going on here. You look past the guards and you've been to this lodge before. You've been here probably a couple days in advance of your meeting with Brackett. But, of course, Jimmy did not give you the note in time. However, things look different now.

You see a stairway leading down below the main chamber that wasn't visible last time you were here. It's all uncovered, and there's shit everywhere from Junior's path of destruction. Just leading down below the Pathfinder lodge and that's where the guards are pointing down there so let's say you all go down there things along and immediately

you take maybe five ten steps in and it's a maze and you're like you could go twenty different ways what do you do? go left and you're like, you could go 20 different ways. What do you do? Left, go left.

I have, I don't know that this helps. Stay to the right. But I'm gonna throw it out there just in case. Throw it out. I have an experience tracker. Could I see, could I figure, use that to figure out where the path of destruction or where the person who ran in went? Can I use that to help us? Absolutely.

Are you doing the seek skill? Are you doing the seek skill? Or is it survival? It's survival in this situation, but I think we can bend it to our own purpose. Does the seek action, what does that use? That's perception.

Okay. I think track is right here. Okay. You're trying to look at the debris because it looks like there's shit everywhere. It's hard to tell what was part of Junior's destruction. I'm going to attempt to aid you, okay? Is that okay? Yeah.

Are you doing survival? So it's when necessary, I can follow a trail without pause. I can track while moving at full speed if I take a minus five penalty to my survival check. But I could also just try and track. You know, I don't know if I want to do minus five. You don't need to do it at speed. Yeah. Yeah, we can just do it because they're in here.

It's not like we're going to lose them necessarily. But you're obviously trained in survival and you're going to roll a survival check. I will do a survival check. So let me take a look, too, and I'll attempt to aid you. So this is a DC 20 against my survival to aid. Wait, is it 20? It's 20, right? Yeah, I think it is.

I don't get it. I got a 15, though, which makes me pause. But, yeah, I think it is DC 20. Oh, my God, you didn't. I did roll a one, but it's bad. I'm so, I don't understand why I can't roll tonight. Oh, there's an 18. I hate you.

It's a total of seven because I'm so beyond over it. It's okay. We'll be all right. That's okay. You know what? We're going to be okay. It's part of the story. I'm like, look, y'all.

I can track what's going on here. Guess what? I can't really. You tried your best. It was seven. The typical DC for eight is 20, but it's really up to the GM. For something like this, you're... Right, if it's a particularly easy task.

She gets a plus one, which is still a failure. You look and you're just like, you see destruction. So it looks like, yeah, probably the robot came out of here causing a mess. But other people have been here. And what you notice, you don't even roll the perception checks. Anyone with any sort of basic perception as you take in your surroundings. Like, it just seems like everything is destroyed for destroyed's sake.

Yeah. That's the first gut feeling you get. You don't know why. So you start progressing through this maze, and it really is. You wonder, like,

what was this like when it was a church of uh so long ago like what was this were these crypts that have now been turned to like little storage rooms uh at a certain point you um hear like a buzzing sound and so you follow in the direction of that buzzing sound and you enter this huge chamber, and the whole southern part of the chamber is where you enter. It looks like it's been completely destroyed. Like someone has recently went out of their way to just destroy the ground. And then you look about the room,

and the first thing you see is this spinning globe that's just going vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, and shooting off electric arcs in every direction. Like, have you ever been in a room with a Tesla coil? Tesla coil, yeah. But this is an orrery and it's just and eventually

it stops and you see two dead bodies on the ground. Oh no. They look familiar? They do not look familiar. Search them. You slowly walk over to the bodies

as this orrery winds down. You see a large rod on the ground that looked like it belonged to the mechanism that was spinning the orrery. And the removal of the rod is probably what caused it to go haywire and shoot electricity everywhere. You have to move through this rubble and it's, you know, it's difficult terrain as you're walking. It's like slowing you down as you walk towards the bodies.

But you're like, what? Who did this? Did they just take pickaxes to the ground to destroy? Like, what is the motive here? And you go over to the bodies and one of them is, well, I mean, they're both very strange looking.

Although they're humanoid, they are not from the area as it were. Give me a check to recall knowledge. Society? Yeah. Oh my god.

It's a 26. All of us? For Dr. Pierce. Dr. Pierce knows immediately these are like devil creatures. Chalaxian spies. These are like devil characteristics. One has horns,

one very pale skin, one of them, and they just have fiendish, devil-like teeth. Do you say that out loud, Dr. Pierce? Dr. Pierce, do you say that out loud? Devil creatures or chalax? Yes, chalaxian. Okay, at this point, Charlotte again, Pierce? Dr. Pierce, do you say that out loud? Devil creatures or chillax? Yes, chillax.

Okay, at this point Charlotte Ann trusts her compatriots completely and she goes, Tritus is conspiring with the Aspis consortium. He seems to like, totally nice. He's a pathfinder through and through.

I know a pathfinder when I see one. Okay, my love, but my thing is secrets, and that's his secret. Well, you have been very on point with everything so far. There is no need to doubt this. My goodness. What is the world coming to? Yeah. I'm going to seek

both the bodies and the orrery and the general area for any clues. Yeah. And I'm going to use detect secrets

as I'm doing that so I get a plus one to my perception roll. Okay. Oh, I'm so bad. Okay, I rolled a nine. All right, so you're looking about the room. Obviously, this giant machine in the middle of it drew you in, and then your focus went to the bodies. You start to take into the room,

and like many of the rooms that you saw as you were finding your way here, it looks like it's a room that's used to store lore and relics, just like Valor was trying to use against you. The walls are lined with shelves that look like they used to be full of all these objects and books and boxes, but they've all been, been like thrown to the ground.

And so you can't tell. Was someone looking for something or just destroying stuff? Because it's one thing to just throw stuff to the ground. Like, ah, that's not what I'm looking for. But it looks like things were purposely destroyed. You do find a pendant on one of the men that is in the shape of like a stylized claw. I'd like to examine that. Give me a society or a warfare lore, maybe.

All right, society will have to be for me. Oh, that is a 12. I rolled a 14, since I'm the one who discovered it. Maybe that's why. Both of you have no idea what this is. You haven't seen anything like it. It seems familiar, but you don't know. I got a 23 on society. All right, so even though you're new to sunlight,

you are familiar with this symbol. It is the symbol of a mercenary group known as the Devil's Claws. And you rolled high enough to... What'd you roll again? 23. 23. 23. You know that the membership of this group

is almost primarily made up of rejected Hell Knights. Oh, the ones that didn't make it. This is Chalaxian all over. All kinds of Chalax. Let me just do a little, just two minutes of lore on this. You got to. Give me that. I love lore.

Come on. We're in so deep. So I said, as Dr. Pierce, that when Aradin died, nations turned against each other. Cheliax fell into ruin. Cheliax was like the god of men. He was the god of humans. He was the last Aslanti. Yeahlyax was like the god of men. He was the god of humans. He was the last aslanti.

Yeah, and Chelyax worshipped him. He is a chaotic good. I believe Dieter may be neutral good. I don't remember. But anyway, Chelyax worshipped him. It's a whole nation. When he died, and his death, by the way, is just like one of his reunions, I think it was. Basically, like the world went into like horrible storms for like two weeks.

And then all clerics lost connection with him. And all like paladins lost connection with him. So everyone thinks he died. Like there's the only explanation. But no one ever saw Aradin die. He's a god. Interesting. Very strange story.

So all these people start turning on each other. Cheliax gets torn apart by civil war and eventually falls to infernal deities and becomes like the nation of Asmodeus and the nation of hell. So it's all like lawful evil like starts to control that nation and then at

the top of it they train these hell knights who are just like they're just people and you know humans, elves, whoever but they train in this rigorous system. They're like Navy Seals to become the strongest knights ever and then their final test

is they have to get put in a summoning circle as like a devil from hell is summoned and they have to defeat the devil or they're out of like the program so it's like super intense so if you go into it you can go into like a regular town and you could just be like hell knights are like in control of the town and it's not like everybody's just being tortured constantly but it's like at curfew everyone goes to bed you know like when the market the market opens at this time, the market closes at this time.

Like, it's all super regimented and intense. And so bringing it back to this, these mercenaries are people that failed the test. Yeah. So cool. They're like budget hell nights. Oh, my God. Yeah. Low budget hell nights.

Bridge and tunnel hell nights. Budget hell nights. Budget Hell Nights. Oh, my God. Yeah. Low budget Hell Nights. Bridge and tunnel Hell Nights. Budget Hell Nights. Is anyone else doing any sort of perception or seeking or looking around? Yeah, I'd like to, like, search around and seek meticulously for hidden doors, concealed hazards, and so on. Yeah. What do I, what, what, what, is that like a perception, I imagine? Yeah, a little percept, the old catch-all. Okay, 18.

Well, well, hold on. I haven't tried disordered secrets on you yet, have I? No. Not in the last minute? No, not ever. Well, then Charlotte Ann goes, and you get a plus one to that. I go, oh my gosh, I suddenly see way better than I could before. So 19.

All right, well, that's a pretty good roll. Enough to notice a couple things that will happen simultaneously. Well, not simultaneously, but very close to each other. One, you see that everyone is way into like, what is this devil's claw thing? And they're talking, and then Dr. Pierce goes on this long speech about all nights. You start searching the bodies. And on the smaller creature, you find a drawing in his pocket. Looks like charred, like half of the paper has been charred.

Head on over to the VTT and I will show you what it looks like. The Ark of the Covenant, y'all! Oh, it is! Ark of the Covenant is, y'all. Wow.

And does Mara recognize what this is from this drawing? Has she seen this before? Roll a check. Roll a knowledge, something to recall knowledge. It could be Arcana, if you think this has a magical tradition, maybe a cult. Does Charlotte Ann see it? Does Charlotte Ann see this?

Maybe you see Mara. Mara's looking, staring at this charred drawing. Come over. Hey, what's up? Maybe you see Mara. Mara's looking, staring at this charred drawing. Come over. Hey, what's up? Hmm.

Neither Arcana or Oracle are great for me, but... I rolled an 18. Society? Society would be better if that applies. I would love to argue society for this. The way it works is kind of like you can roll anything, and if it's relevant, you'll get relevant information. 21 total.

That's better than mine. There she goes. I have a die on the floor, but it's fine. I picked a new one. 21 total. That's better than mine. There she goes. I have a die on the floor, but it's fine. I picked a new one. 21 total. It's some sort of ornate chest, but there are no recognizable symbols

or markings that would let you know where the chest is from or even what time period. It does look old but significance you don't know was this person looking for this chest perhaps why is the paper yeah because there's nothing on there that like, oh, I know those markings. There's really nothing that distinguishes it as a specific chest. Only the bearer of the note perhaps knew what it was. There's nothing that would be in the infernal tongue, right, that would be recognizable as infernal. Yeah, I'm going to take it over to Pierce.

Excuse me, Dr. Pierce, I found this thing, and it feels like bad, like bad news, but I don't know what it is, but you investigate things, and like information, whereas I mostly just hunt down people, right? So maybe you know something about this, and I'll hand it to him and hope that he knows. Well, there's very little

difference between a person and a chest. He says something bizarre. And he looks at it and uh you're like what the fuck was that do you speak infernal i do um you don't see any infernal markings on it whatsoever nothing that sort of says oh that's a hell chest um it's just very creepy however with that 21 that mara rolled i said that something happened semi-simultaneously. Oh, yeah. Because while you're discovering

and talking over this charred drawing, you hear a noise in the hallway on the opposite side of the way you entered this large chamber. It's like a... I'll go over there. Yeah, we'll start walking over there. Har-ra-rar. And I'm going to pull out my bow.

Let's be quiet. This could be our perpetrator. Dr. Pierce pulls out his bow and you exit the room with all haste to the north. The room is not destroyed up here, so there's no difficult terrain to slow you down. However, following in the direction of that noise, you exit the room into a hallway and you see three, looks like three men heading heading like about to

turn the corner way up ahead and the one in the back sees you and yells something does anyone else speak infernal no I speak legalese

you speak legalese which is very very very very close to infernal. Yes, it's about as close as you can get. It's a dialect. Luckily, Dr. Pierce does, because this is what happens. How cool is that shit? He says something in infernal, and he says, ears. and he says, ears!

And as he says ears, he pulls this small device out of his coat and just puts it on the ground. No, no, no. Oh, no! I get an action. You stop. Stop narrating. And then they run around the corner. Stop narrating!

No, stop narrating! Well, here's the thing. He yells, ears! They put this device on the ground and they run's the thing. He yells, ears! They put this device on the ground, and they run around the corner. And you all see, up ahead, about 50 feet away, this device that looks, it almost looks like there's a metronome attached to it that's just going, toot, toot, toot, toot, toot. What do you do?

He's going to say, they said some kind of device said ears. Stuff your ears, cover your ears, and it might be some sort of sonic device. And he's going to stuff some fabric in his ears. Okay. Does everyone else follow suit? Or are you like, this Dr. Piss is being weird again? How many actions does it take to stuff your ears?

You're not even in combat, so you can just do it. Okay. Because I also have a cantrip called telekinetic projectile where I can take any object that has one bulk or less and throw it. Just toss it.

I want to toss it. Throw it after them. I want to throw it. Throw it after them. I want to throw it after them. Can I do that? You absolutely can. Now, they have already turned the corner. Yeah.

You have to have line of sight to use that ability that way, to throw it right at them. But you could throw it toward that direction, I guess, maybe. Yeah, and you can also throw it at this object, too. I want to throw the object itself. She's saying she wants to telekinetically throw the object. Throw whatever that little metronome, John, is. I want to throw it as far away from us and close to them as I can. Okay, now how close do you have to be to use telekinetic?

30 feet. 30 feet. 30 feet. All right. Are we 30 feet? No, you're 50 feet. You want to get closer? Okay, well then I plug my ears. You plug your ears and you move closer to try and be able to pull this off to get it out of the way.

Let me do a check. Can I do a recall knowledge check on the device? See if I've ever seen anything like this before. Recall knowledge, you can roll Arcana or Occultism. I'll do Occultism. Oh, there it is.

Natural one, which is very, very bad in this situation. But what if Charlotte Ann rolled a 25? Well, I'm supposed to get a false piece of information. Okay. Yeah, of course you would know that it's false, so that's not fun. Well, I'd play it that way and it would be real fun.

Yeah. You could be really good actors. Well, here's the thing. You could trust us. We are professionals. Let's see how you play it then. Dr. Well, here's the thing. You could trust us. We are professionals. Let's see how you play it then. Dr. Pierce, you roll your recall knowledge. And you are like, I know what this is.

And it's incredibly dangerous. We shouldn't even get near it. That's the thought that goes in your head. Charlotte Ann, you see that. And you know that this thing is actually pretty harmless. It's just designed to slow people down as you get closer to it. It like slows time around. But it's otherwise harmless.

Stand back! Why do they want to slow it down? Why do they want to slow it down? Why did they say ears? Ears. Maybe it does sonic damage and that's how they slow time. Okay. Maybe they're elves.

Maybe he was just calling to his buddy. His buddy, his friend, his good time elf pal. Ears, let's go. Ears. Ears, I set the slowdown device. Okay, Charlotte Ann is 18 and she is impulsive. She is going to run. No, my dear, no. It's extremely dangerous.

I'm sorry, doctor. I have to do this. And she runs 20 feet to get within, only 20 feet, though. I have to do this. And she runs 20 feet to get within, only 20 feet, though. She is going to die. To get exactly within 30 feet. And I'm going to cast Telanetic Projectile. Okay. And I am going to try and throw it as far away from me as possible.

Maybe I can, like, ricochet it off a wall or something to get it to bounce like pool, like billiards. A couple things are going to happen. Bounce closer to them. You run up to me like, I got this. And right when you get within 30 feet, you start to cast a spell and all of a sudden time slows down. You feel like this. You've entered a zone where time

has changed. And you're going to try and resist this with a will save and give yourself a plus one for stuffing your ears. Okay. There we go. Ears. Okay, this is the one I'm good at. That's a 26.

26? That's a critical success. You're not my real dad! I mean, that is... What did you say? You're not my real dad. That's typical.

It's just the first thing that comes to her. She has very troubled youth. It's just the first thing that comes to her. Like, somebody tries to tell her what to do, and she's like, you're not my dad! I mean, it's amazing. A 26 is a critical success, exactly.

It was a DC 16, we'll say it. And with a critical success, you're completely unaffected by the metronome and can do it normally, which means you can cast your spell and fucking fling it far away. Oh, I love it. That is incredible. Yes.

Gorgeous. You send it far enough away that it won't affect you if you want to all now pursue. Heck yes. Marry you in Vita. I do a spell attack roll, and it's a 21. So that's... It actually has an AC. I should have had you roll that, but I was so excited about your success.

It has an AC. I should have had you roll that, but I was so excited about your success. It has an AC. I just succeeded. And a 21 is enough to just, shaboom, send it. Mm-hmm. Send it. And so it goes flying down the hallway, and you know that you're fine now

to continue your pursuit unfettered. Is that what you do? Hell yeah, brother. They want to slow us down. She's a teenager. She wants to do the exact opposite of whatever they want her to do. They wanted to slow us down? I don't think so.

She turns around to her crew and she goes, let's go! Yeah, ain't nothing going to break my stride. Ain't nothing going to slow me down. Let's go! You're not my dad! You run after these guys and you realize that they, as you go around the corner, sort of chasing after the direction that they went, there's like a service exit down here. How did they know about that?

How did they know about that? How did they know? And it's wide open. So you rush out, and as you're rushing out, Dr. Pierce, you hear this infernal speaking. It's a little further away, but they're like, where are the rest of them? They're supposed to be here. Where are the rest of them?

And you come out onto a back street, like on the other side of the cathedral. So you're like coming up stairs to bring you to the outside and you see three of them. There's And you see Three of them There's three guys, two of them look like The horned dude that was dead

In the room with the orrery And the other guy is resplendent In the outfit of Someone dedicated To a very specific Deity, does anyone have Any points in religion? I do.

Yeah, of course Dr. Pierce does. Yeah. Okay. Literally Charlotte Ann is on fire. So if anybody rolls higher than a 25, let me know. No. You rolled a 25? I rolled a natural 20. Wow, amazing. Do you have any religion? I rolled a 25. I rolled a natural 20. Wow, amazing.

Mara, do you have any religion? I rolled a 23. 23, that's pretty good, awesome. Mara, any religion? I have none, so I don't even try. I'm thinking about trying to coerce them into stopping. So that's where Mara's brain is, just so you know. Okay.

And Skid, what did you end up rolling? I rolled a 15. Okay. Okay. And Skid, what did you end up rolling? I rolled a 15. Okay. That's enough for all three of you to know a priest of Asmodeus when you see one. Dude, straight up devil worshippers. And you come up the stairs and you hear them say, where are they? They were supposed to be there.

And then they see you! Roll for an S. You roll for an S. You roll for an initiative! Oh, you rolled it! You rolled for initiative! You rolled for initiative! Oh, yeah. Come on, this is the die. Oh, shit. This is the die I should have been rolling with all night, y'all.

Oof. You know, fun little mechanic here. Had you been slowed down by the metronome with a minor delay, they get the jump on you, and they get a little bit better of an initiative. Had you just, like, really been delayed, or, well, let's just let it run its course, they would have an even better initiative.

But because you immediately succeeded, it's all just straight up rules against their rules. Well, as the teens would say, as the kids say finally my bad rolls have caught up with me and my initiative is an 8 not that bad but

22 22 for Mara oh there she goes I want to see this I want to see Mara wade in there and beat the living shit out of these devil worshipping bastards. She's a hot fox. She's literally a foxy

brown diva. She's a foxy brown monk diva. Foxy lady. What did you get? Dr. Pierce. I got a 20. Dr. Pierce, Urist. U I got a 20. 20 for Dr. Pierce. Urist.

Urist got a 14. 14. No, wait, wait, wait. Sorry, 16. 16 for Urist. Let's go. This is going to be so filled with juice to the map. You want juice?

To the map. We got juice. All right, so let's look at these guys Here are the You saw one of these guys dead already This is what he looks like Kind of like a goat dude Awful looking goat dude

And then here is the priest of Asmodeus Oh no I don't like him I'm scared That's amazing. Wait, what is that actual artwork? Is that from the module? No, that's from Paizo.

Is that an anti-paladin? I feel like I've seen that artwork before. I've seen this before. That's why I wanted to use it because it's such a classic piece. It's so good. And it definitely is Asmodeus, too. I don't want to miscredredit anyone, but I feel like that's Wayne Reynolds.

I think this is from the Hell's Rebels or Hell's Vengeance. AP or something. Yeah, I'm pretty... I don't want to misquote and misattribute, but I think it's Wayne Reynolds. It just looks like his.

So let me just tell Paul and Mary Lou real quick. Hell's Rebels is an adventure path. It all takes place in Chaliaks, where you play a small resistance that begins to rise against the infernal overlords. And then Hell's

Vengeance is a whole AP where you play evil characters that are evil Chalaxians suppressing rebellions. I mean, it's so much stuff. It's amazing. That's awesome. I will say the Chalaxians are these infernal guys,

these Asmodians of fashion sense on point. Right? Yeah. They have an incredible look. Love the star shield. Right? Yeah. They have a really incredible look. Love the star shield. Mara. Yeah, the stars everywhere.

Yeah. Mara, you are up. You have the highest initiative. You are, like I said, about 30 feet away from the goat-looking dudes and about 35 feet away from the priest of Asmodeus. Get him, babe. Okay. The first thing I am going to do is

spend two actions to cast daze. And I'm going to attempt to cast it on the priest-looking guy because they look scarier. They're 45 feet away from me, so I should be able to do that. I have range of 60 feet. Nice. So I will cloud the

target's mind and daze it with a mental jolt. The jolt deals mental damage equal to my spellcasting ability modifier plus one. Then the target must attempt a basic will save. If you critically fail, you are also stunned one.

And so Mara will just go stop with her magic hand and send a blast of energy out in an attempt to daze this guy. So it's a will saving throw. And there's no attack, right? You cast this and I have to roll with it? I believe so. I think you're right. I'm trying to look up days. Can't trip enchantment, mental non-lethal, so it doesn't have attack as a key thing.

So I think it's just a saving will throw and my saving throw of will and my spell caster DC is 14. Okay, alright. So, alright, so... So plus one, so 15. I think it said on there it's that plus one.

No, no, no, no, sorry. That's my mental damage. If this fails. Apologies. The spell DC is 14. DC 14. He makes it with a 23, so you know where he's at. However, even on a... that's not a critical success.

So that's just a regular failure. Do I take half damage? Is it a basic will save? It's a basic will save, yes. So that's going to be half damage. Okay. So that's equal to my spellcasting ability modifier. So that's your, is that intelligence or

wisdom? Shoot. It's probably wisdom, right? No, uh, no. It's not wisdom, because my wisdom's plus zero. I have no buff to my wisdom, so it can't be that. Oh. Um, I have this because it's just like a, um, it's a,

it's a, uh, Is it a focus build? A, a, it's a, it's a, it's a, again, a heritage feat, whatever you call it. I'm a kitsune, and it's a feat that comes with that. Kitsune spell familiarity. So I think it's intelligence, and it's just a plus one. So half of that, do you round up, do you just take one point? You do round up to one. That's why, because I'm not, this is my only spell.

It's a cantrip, and it's just because it's a feat I get for being a consumer. An ancestry feat? Yeah, ancestry, that's what it is. Thank you. It's one of those that I get with it. It's a free. All right, so you think it's only a plus one. This is something that's come up. What is your charisma?

My charisma is plus one. Oh, so it's probably charisma. I believe it's a plus one. Yeah, the chat is saying it's charisma if it's innate. That's what Doc Robotnik says. Thank you, chat. I've not played anyone who has this kind of one random spell before, so...

Well, we've had this issue before in trying to find the spellcasting ability modifier on the sheet because some... It does actually say in here... It says, characterizations software tell you, so... It says, equal to your spellcasting ability modifier,

and then in parentheses it says plus one, and I think it's telling me right here that's what it is. So it's plus one, but half. Do you round up, or do you round down? Yeah, you round up. So you at least do one point of damage.

Obviously, not a lot, but it's first level. That could be the difference between living and dying. And that was two actions? That was two actions. And for my third action, I'm just going to go into my tiger stance. So I enter the stance of a tiger.

So you see, like, yes, she kind of comes up. And, like, what earlier seemed kind of when she was like, that's not a knife. It must have just been my nails. You see now it's actually, like, claws. She can now make tiger claw attacks. Nice. So that'll be pretty awesome when I do it. You see now it's actually like claws. She can now make tiger claw attacks. Nice. So that'll be pretty awesome when I do it.

And if I'm in this stance, I can step 10 feet as well. Nice callback improv. Nice work. That kicks ass. That's why they mistook your hands for knives. That's right. I almost was like, oh, that's just my claws. I mean, my nails. But I didn't want to give it away yet.

So that's all three of my actions. Okay. Is that all? I only did one damage. I didn't actually do that much. All right. It is the Priest of Edmodius's turn. I am just looking at...

Sorry, you must have forgotten I got a 23. I saw that. He rolled higher than... Wait, did you hear something? I think I got a 20. You got a 20, yeah. I was going to say, if you got a 23, then you should have gone before me. Yeah.

I got a 20 for you, and the Priest has a 21. Tamara is 22. So, here's what he's going to do. I've got to get a little bit closer. So he's going to step five feet, and then I've got Mara and Charlotte Ann. I'm going to roll a die here.

One, two, three, Mara. Four, five, six, Charlotte Ann. Poor Mara. It would make sense. You're the one that tried to daze him. He is going to cast a spell on you using two actions. I cast a spell on you. Okay. I'm going to need a fortitude save.

Okay. That should be good for you. I have a plus six to this, so hopefully it's good. That's good. He might have picked the wrong one. That's really solid. That rocks. No, you didn't.

Don't say it. Don't say it, don't say it. There's no way. Don't, don't. Number five? No. So that's a natural one. Wait, do you have a hero point? No, I spent it earlier on a stupid court argument.

And Troy didn't give you another one for the tiger claw callback? As cool as that was, this is going to be double damage from a harm spell. Oh my god. No, not harm. So I roll once and multiply it

where it is a crit. Actually, it's a fumble, right? Yeah, you fumbled, so I didn't crit. I rolled a natural one. The total is seven, but it's a natural one. Yeah, basic fortitude save. That's a critical failure. This is double damage.

A d8 times two. Oh, this could run shot you. Please roll low. I rolled a one. You suck. Oh, goodness. I go not today. I was tasting blood in my mouth. You take two points of damage. Your teeth were so wet. My teeth were so wet. Such wet

teeth. Thank goodness. It could have been 16 points of damage. You take two points of damage. Oh, thank goodness. 16 points of damage. You take two points of damage. Oh, my God. And that's his whole fucking turn. All right. It is Dr. Pierce's turn. This character has such a great name.

I don't want to tell you because you wouldn't know. Wouldn't I? I'm so... I guess I don't. Why did it take double piercing damage or something? He is going to... You know what? He's going to eye up the guard that's just to the left

as we're facing them of the priest. Uh-huh. This is great. All right, so he's going to eye this guy up. He's going to... Okay. He's going to eye this guy up. He's going to... Okay. First, I'm going to use this investigator ability, which is smash mazing.

Devise a stratagem. So I begin. I look at this guy. I don't know this thing, and I begin to examine where I could make an attack accurately, if I could. And then I roll a die. Actually, before I do that,

I have another ability that I chose called No Weakness. Now, as part of Devise a Stratagem, I get to roll a Recall Knowledge check on the creature for free. So I'd like a recall knowledge check. Is this society? Is it a humanoid standard creature?

It's an outsider, right? Natural 20. 20? Yes. Seven, I believe, for society. I'm going to give you all the information you need. So you're like, Devil's Claw, what do these guys do? They try to get

the Hell Knights, they failed. Alright, so what do we know about these sort of basic, low-level thugs that would surround the Dries of Asmodeus? And you know that they are weak to good and resistant to fire. Okay. They are weak to good and resistant to fire!

And as part of that, if I crit... Okay,, if I crit, okay, so if I get a critical success, I get a plus one to my attack against that creature, and I get to share that bonus with all of my allies as long as they make their attack before the start of my next turn. Nice. So anybody who zones in on that guy,

he's like, look at him. He's weak. He's already falling apart. And kick his ass. And now I'm going to do device a stratagem, which is a bizarre and amazing ability. This is a roll. First, I'm going to roll a d20. Okay. I rolled a natural five.

So that roll becomes my strike attack for the round if I want to use it. But now that I know I rolled a natural five, I'm not going to strike him because it's just the timing is not right. So I will pivot my turn, basically. It's the best ability

at first level. It's really cool. No, now's not the good time to attack, and so you change your attack. Right No, now's not the good time to attack. And so you change your attack. Right, so now's not the good time to attack. And since that was my first action, I have... Let's see, I've got two actions left.

I am going to first... I'm going to... Against that guy. Because I can smell his weakness. I can smell it. And I've given this bonus to my allies. I'm going to speak to him in Infernal. And he's just going to say,

in Infernal, it's going to come out something like this. My dear boy, you die here now. And fair Lasmodius, your soul be chained to the bottom of a pit for all eternity. Drop your weapons and join our side and you may free yourself of these shackles.

And I'm going to roll and intimidate to try to demoralize him. And what is the DC? His will DC, I believe. And I rolled well. That's a 20. Oh, yeah. That'll do it. Nice.

That should do it. Assuming he is demoralized, that's a penalty to his what? I don't know. I'll look it up. I actually have it right here. It is a target becomes frightened one. Oh, so he uses it in action. Yeah, so you see this look in his eyes like...

I don't know. I can smell your doubts, son. If it's a critical success, they're frightened, too. If it wasn't critical. It wasn't critical, but he is frightened one. So I'll take a penalty. I don't lose in action, Joe. I just take a minus one penalty.

Oh, that's right. I'm sorry. I'm thinking of a stunt. All right. And then I will use my last action because I know my attack would suck, so I just waited it off, and I'll use my last action to...

I'll aid... I'll aid Urist. I'll attempt to aid Eurist in an attack against that guy, I'm hoping. So we'll see how it plays out. All right. Well, it is one of these hellbound... In fact, it's the one that you just attacked, Turd.

And he looks at the priest, and the priest is like, What are you waiting for? Go, he says in Infernal. And the guy is like, what are you waiting for? Go, he says in Infernal. And the guy's like, ah! And he spends two actions to run up to the group and goes to

try and stab Mara with a dagger! Get out of here! But he's frightened, so he's gonna take a minus one to the attack, and he rolled a natural one! Yes! One minus one is zero. We get like a fan crit fail, right?

Fan crit fail? Yeah, we can do a fan crit fail. I mean, what better opportunity than this fight? This guy is frightened and he didn't want to go and he's just like, ah! And fumbles. Fan crit fail. He should have listened to his heart. Listen to your heart!

Oh my god, this is too appropriate for you, Tree. Was he swinging? He was swinging a... What was he? Oh my God, this is too appropriate for you, Tree. Was he swinging? He was swinging a... He was stabbing with the dagger, yeah. All right, this one from David and Sarah in Boston, Massachusetts.

Be down. Be down. Two people to write this. Not a people person is the title. You react to your incredible ineptitude with profanity

so shocking that even Sydney Would be embarrassed Your allies and Even enemies look upon you with disdain You are demoralized Frightened one for 1d4 Rounds He's frightened too

For demoralized I'm assuming It's frightened one it's just one round But this will just keep it going for another two rounds. Nice. Frightened, I believe, it goes down at the end of every turn. Your frightened condition goes down once. Let's say he's frightened two. Now he's frightened one immediately because his turn is over.

Yeah, at the end of each of your turns, it decreases by one. So he had to move twice in attack, and it's like, I'm no longer frightened, but his attack was so poised. I'm frightened again! And he's frightened now for two rounds. Right, because frightened can specify if it's a number of rounds, it does not go down after your turn, if it specifies.

Alright, great. So that is his turn, and now it is Yuris' turn. And Yuris, you are being aided by Dr. Pierce. Dr. Pierce, do you enact that now or during his attack? Yuris, you are being aided by Dr. Pierce. Dr. Pierce, do you enact that now or during his attack? Yuris? Yeah. Yeah, it's a reaction.

The moment he's going to attack, I'm going to do it. So I don't know what Yuris is going to do. We'll see. Yeah, Yuris is going to stride forward towards the attacker, this frightened, dagger-wielding devil worshiper. He's going to go into a satanic panic. What? Yes.

Alright, now I will attempt to aid you. Okay, so I'll use my knowledge of his... Oh, by the way, you get a plus one already from my no weakness. My crit on that recall knowledge. And now this would be an additional

one if I can actually aid you. And I'm going to aid you with society. And just point out a weakness in his armor from the way that this particular gang does it.

That is just a fail. So you do not get it. Missed it by two points. So Urist, attorney at law, Esquire, is going to make a power attack against this guy. Come on, Urist! This is so awesome. Swings down with his mighty bastard sword. That is a 16 to hit. That is a awesome. Swings down with his mighty bastard sword. That is a 16 to hit.

That is a hit. Yes! Yes. Let's go. Yes. Okay. Okay, that is 14 points of damage. Yes.

Nice. You immediately murder him. Yes! Murder it. Murder. Murder. In one swing. Murder. Murder. Murder. Yes! Murder it! Like, look at that, in one swing. Murder! Murder!

Murder! Murder! Dude, nice. Oh, my God. Do you have any actions left, or was power attack two actions? That was it. Power attack is two actions. Oh, my God.

This poor guy. I mean, you demoralized him from a distance, speaking his language, and then they forced him to rush in. He fumbled. I mean, don't choose evil. You know what I'm saying? There are consequences to your actions. Did he just get bullied to death?

He did. Let that be a lesson to everyone watching. Go to hell, nerd. He literally died of embarrassment from being such a fucking loser. The other one that's behind the priest of Asmodeus is like, what are you waiting for? Get out there and avenge his death! And he does a double move up to Euryst

and tries to stab at Euryst and misses with a natural three. Yes! Just a brutal round for these nincompoops. Sucks to sucks. And it's still Charlotte Ann's turn in round one. What do you got? Okay.

Okay. Okay. All right. Charlotte Ann, having just graduated from high school, has the innate ability to smell who's the queen bee, right? Like, who's a minion and who's the brains of the operation. And so even though she is in range of this little goat guy, she is going to move.

She's going to move 10 feet north. Okay. she's gonna move 10 feet north to be able to get in range of the priest because she sniffs that the priest is the one in charge and you gotta take out the spellcaster right?

so she moves for one action, and then she's going to use her next two actions to cast Phase Bolt. That sounds so cool. It is really cool. So I'm not saying that he does, but if he has any circumstance bonuses to his AC, those are reduced by two.

That's so cool. Oh, okay. For now. All right. And that is a 14. Is a 14 hit? A 14 does not hit. Boof.

Okay. Snarf, y'all. All right. Charlotte Ann goes, and the bolt goes and she goes Snarf that would have been great

a great moment there for Charlotte Ann Charlotte Ann's had a lot of great moments but she's she has this guy's a little beefier and so that's going to be a tougher hit as we move into round two. Mara, you are quick, and you are up.

There is a body bleeding out on the ground in front of you. Yeah, too bad it's so sad. Get up. You should see that. You can't split. Can you split your movement? Or you have to do it as the whole action. I've learned this. You can't split. Can you split your movement? Or you have to do it as the whole action.

I've learned this. You can move for one action, do one action, and then move again. Right, but if I need two moves to get an extra five feet to get close enough... Yeah, it uses the second move. It is so painful. It's so painful. It uses your second action. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's what these guys have been doing.

They had to move twice, and that's why they only have one attack when they get to you. I'm scared, but I feel like... Oh, I don't know. Okay, team, meta above tabletop here for a second. Is it a stupid idea to run up to this priest and try and strike them?

Because I can't move away. I'm just right there now. I'll tell you this. That's what heroes do. I mean, closing with a spellcaster is usually not a bad idea. What is he going to do? Get into a slappy fight with you?

Yeah, exactly. Also, worst case scenario, you die an incredible hero's death. You know what? It's a one shot. That's true. You're almost certainly way tougher than he is. And that's the worst case scenario. So with all of this in mind, with her claws up, her tiger stance, Mara's going to look at her new friends, kind of flick her tail, wink, and then stride twice right up to the priest.

Where she will then, using her unarmed tiger claw strike, because she's in her tiger stance, unleash a flurry of blows. So this means that her tiger claws, they do extra damage. So if this hits, we'll talk about what it does if it hits. How about I just roll it for her? And did you have to move twice to get to him? I did, yes. Okay, but flurry of blows is only one action

even though it's two attacks. That's perfect. Yes, it's just one action. You do take the map, though, obviously for that second hit, but let's see what happens. The first one misses. Nobody asked by how much.

Don't ask. Don't. Not important. The second one will also miss because it's what, minus five on the second one? Minus four. Minus five. Minus four on the second one. Yeah, I rolled like eight for both of them.

So I run up. But because my, again, like I've been in my human form for a while. So I'm just not used to the balance of my tail. I need to center myself for a second. And I go to, like, with my claws, and I just whiff it. Because I'm just, my head's not in the game. I was showing off for my new best friend. One day, you're going to get a natural 20, and it is going to be incredible.

I can't wait. Sometimes I do roll natural 20s sometimes. I can't wait to see it. I didn't crit fail on any of these. I got like eights for both of them. Well, let's see if you roll one now, because you come up there, and you whiff. Luckily, you don't critically fail,

but this priest of Asmodeus looks at you and he doesn't even flinch. You have these two fists that miss and he just says, my dear, why would you try and hurt your Uncle Jeb? No! No, no, no!

What? Give me a will save. Uncle Jeb? Who's that? I don't like that name. I don't like that name. It makes me uncomfortable. Give me the old will save.

He went for governor of Florida? It's not a natural 20, but it is a 22 total. You get a dirty 22. All right, I think is a 22 total. You get a dirty 22. Alright, I think that you are okay. I just want to make sure what type of success this is. But it's a success.

I'm sure it's not a crit success. Oh, there it is. It's not a crit success. Alright. Okay, she feels this thing happen in her brain And she's like No, I'm centered And you can't affect me

And she doubles down on her tiger stance You're not my real uncle You're not my real uncle All you know is Whatever he was trying to do to you Was harmless That's all you know in your head But something is weird here.

Uncle Jeb, gross. No, that's yucky. Yeah, exactly. That was two actions, and when he sees that you are unaffected by it, he's like, die! And he just fucking swings his mace at you.

And it is a 20 to hit. That hits, yeah. Oh no. So he cracks you over the head with his mace for you. And it is a 20 to hit. That hits, yeah. Oh, no. So he cracks you over the head with his mace for max damage. Seven points of bludgeoning damage. That's okay, you're tough. He just buries his mace right in that area between your upper shoulder and your neck.

Crunch! It hurts. It hurts. And now it is Dr. Pierce's turn. Dr. Pierce, you see Mara. Kitsune, did you know? Slide up there boldly, and things didn't go well, but you just took a mace to the head. What do you do?

Oh, yeah, this is bad. But I think... He's going to assume Urist has this uh other situation under control and he will move uh in a position beyond Charlotte Anne uh to where he feels

like he has a shot at the priest without the benefit where he cannot use Mara as a benefit of soft cover so do you think I'm good there uh yep he will do use Mara as a benefit of soft cover. So, do you think I'm good there? Yep. He will do the thingamajig. You know, the jawn.

The jawn. He's going to devise a stratagem and he's going to do no weakness as a part of it. This is the knowledge check on the priest now. He wants to get a sense of maybe this guy's abilities, if I can see by his accoutrement, if I can know anything about him. Oh, my God.

Natty, 18 for a 25. Knowledge or society check. All right, society check on this guy. All right, so he seems to be casting divine spells, but you don't see any particular weakness about him. He's just a real living man that has given himself to the devil!

Alright, and then I'm going to devise a stratagem which is a pre-rolling my strike to see if it's worth it. It is worth it, and so he's going to take the shot. So he pulls out a bow. He can see the weak spot. And he fires.

Actually, I'm being overconfident, but I think I'm good. That is a 21. Yes. That is a hit. Okay. That's why they call him Dr. Pierce. That's why they call him Dr. Pierce. That's why they call him Dr. Pierce.

Dr. Pierce. For flavor, if you him Dr. Pierce. When they come back to class. Dr. Pierce. For flavor, if you don't mind, Joe. Please, please. As the arrow goes, Mara can sense it behind her. And just out of the way, as the arrow goes right by her, she can feel the air move as the arrow by her into. Oh, just like in Brave. Yeah, exactly.

And he does six points of damage with an arrow. Wow. And it hits the soft spot right where he meant to hit. It is Yuris' turn. Yuris, you mowed this poor guy down. Before you go, Yuris, I just want to once again shout out Syrinscape. Thank you for the music.

By the way, I chose this. This is the Hell's Rebels soundtrack from Syrinscape. Thank you for the music. By the way, I chose this. This is the Hell's Rebels soundtrack. Nice. We have this all the time. Appropriate. Themed music for this infernal encounter. By all means, yours. Do your thing.

That's awesome. Okay, so I'm standing and banging with this lone remaining goon. He is going to do another power attack. He's going to downward cut on his head. Oh, my goodness. That is a natural 19. 27 to hit with a power attack. Yes, come on, Crit.

That is a critical. That is definitely a critical. That is a critical. We don't need the... That's going to be straight up double damage on a power attack. Just for our audience's sake, could you please tell me the amount of damage?

Okay. That is 32 points of damage. This unassuming racist elderly dwarf within the span of 12 seconds just Like, just caves the head in

of two hellbound robbers. This guy is immediately dead. Come help me, please! Please go help Mara. I'm a fighter and I'm still dying and everything. Okay, it's just like... No, Mara!

Alright, so he's going to with his little short dwarven legs, he's going to pump up ahead. He can't get all the way there. He's going to get as far as he can with his 20 feet of movement. He's going to be 10 feet behind her as she fights

this priest. I just gotta say, I mean, you absolutely crushed it tonight. I mean, when I think back on when we met Urist in the court hall or whatever, and he was just like, no, I just

don't like any elves before I meet them. And Mara's like, that's prejudice. He's like, that's prejudice? I mean, that is talking to my elderly family that's prejudice. He's like, that's prejudice? That is talking to my elderly family to a T. It's amazing. I mean,

exactly to a T. Did you just make that up? How is that prejudice? This is drawing from a lot of family experience. Yeah, a lot of personal experience. Your family and mine have some similarities. Yeah, a lot of personal experience. Your family and mine have some similarities. Yeah, some Irish

Catholic similarities. Uncle Jeb's cronies are dead. Uncle Jeb stands alone and it is Charlotte Ann's turn to end the round. Okay, babes. You got this. Alright. So all of my spells are two actions.

Choose what? so all of my spells are two actions um but perhaps interesting interesting uh I shouldn't do this but I'm going to cause she's a teenager and it sounds fun I'm gonna move do it she's a teenager. And it sounds fun. I'm going to move. Do it. Well, actually, how far

can I move? And what is my speed? You can get in melee with him. 25? Yeah, buddy! So I can't flank him. That'd be cool. That'd be very cool if I could. But I cannot flank him. But I can...

I can get here yeah I'm gonna move there maybe somebody else can flank him someday um she's gonna move up um she says as she's running she's going

who the fuck is Jeb and I've like never heard of him I don't know who Je fuck is Jeb? I've never heard of him. I don't know who Jeb is. He sounds ugly. And she's going to cast... Who the fuck is Jeb? Who do you even know here?

And she's going to cast Gouging Claw. Get it. Good. Gouging Claw. Get it. So good. Gouging Claw. 16. 16 is a hit. Let's go.

Gouge that mother. I'm going to gouge that claw. Great. Come on. Gouge that claw. Great. So I deal my choice of slashing or piercing damage. And because I love my good friend, Dr. Pierce, it's going to be piercing damage.

Nice. And that is. It's an homage. That is 10. That is 10 damage. So she's going to go fling. She's got these claws now. And since it's piercing, she's just going to go, ha, and just sink them into, like, his shoulders.

Yeah. 10 points of damage. You sink into Uncle Jeb's shoulders. That's right. And you hit an artery, and he bleeds out. Yes! Oh, my out. Yes! Well done.

That is amazing. But also, thank you for saving me. She's going to go, babe, I was inspired by you. You did it! I never would have even, I'm trying to be you. Girl, you did it so well. Like, so well. I wish I could it so well. Like, so well. I wish I could tell your father. That was so amazing.

Thank you for not letting me die. Would never. As Uncle Jeb falls, the last of these mercenaries, and you heard him say, like, where are they? They were supposed to be here. You hear a sound coming from, like, an alleyway up ahead, and it sounds like a bunch of people are running in your direction and you look and you see two uh more of these like infernal looking creatures like running right at you but behind them you see two more people and you look and they're like running not at you they're running in fear and standing right behind them is captain bracket and captain bracket

grabs them and with all of his strength throws them from behind and you just see this like 10 foot sword impale both of them and it's fucking valor holding them up on a skewer. Holy shit! Oh, Valor! This automaton. Shaka-gaka-goo, he really is a hero. And he just, like, slings his sword and both of the bodies go flying against a wall. Look, like, we can be friends. Like, what if we work together? You know what I mean?

Exactly. We don't have to be against each other, Valor. Well, they come running up to you along with Captain Brackett and Valor says, Are you all right? Who are these people? They are servants of the... I forget. Asmodeus is like a nickname. This is Uncle Jeb? Well, he invoked the name Uncle Jeb. It was rather disturbing, but they are indeed servants of Asmodeus. They spoke in infernal to each other.

The cultists. There may be more in the town. Old Black Tom himself. Nick of the Forest. Nick of the Forest, as they call Asmodeus. He said he was my uncle, but he can't be my uncle because my uncle's dead. My mom killed him. What else do you know of them?

None of them. Who were they working for? The Talon guys. The claw. Devil's claw. Devil's claw? Devil's claw. The devil's claw.

The devil's claw. Also, look, Mara. When you say devil's claw, when you say devil's claw, Pika, who has come sort of floated back down, goes, claw. I thought of it. The prince of hell. That's it.

Sorry. Just needed to get the prince of, they are servants of the prince of hell. Prince of lies. The prince of lies indeed. I said this to you at the beginning, that they were somehow involved in this. Yes, Mara. Look, so I think there... Oh my gosh, I just started to go southern.

I think there was a... Who are you, fox woman? Oh, I'm Mara. Some sort of southern Kitsune? I will use an action. I will change form and go back into my human form in front of all of them. Like, it's totally me, Mara. There was some sabotage here, and there's evidence.

So somebody's sword martial weapon matches the grooves on this bit of a construct who was attacking everyone, trying to make, I think, the Pathfinder Society look bad. And they might also, whoever is responsible for this, might be responsible for all of this. And she gestures to all of the dead bodies. She'll just hand it over. If you want to inspect this and see what you find. All right. All right. That is a lot of information.

We saw these mercenaries, and the society has quelled them, along with Valor's help. There is much that we need to suss out here. Did you find anything underneath the bodies? We haven't had a chance to search them yet. I was just about to dig in myself. Oh, Mara found something. Mara found something. Mara found something. Mara found something.

I have this drawing, and she'll show the one. I found this. I go southern, and if I say the word like, it helps me. I found this on a body inside the vault. Hand over the drawing of the

Ark of the Covenant. The ornate chest and Brackett opens it and looks at it. I don't know what it is, though. Yes. This is quite strange.

Perhaps these mercenaries were after something, but I do not know what this chest is, and he hands the sheet back to you. Okay. I'll just keep it. Yes.

Which one was Uncle Jeb? Sorry, was this Bracket who's looking at the thing? Does he really not know? Roll a sense of mode. Um. Um. Ugh. I would love to give you discerned secrets

for that. Do you think Charlotte Ann would be able to tell that you were suspicious? And go. We're best friends so probably. We are best friends. Plus one. Finish each other's sentences. Plus one. We do. Uh. Sorry. Perception with this?

Yeah, against his. So that's a 12 total. Dr. Pierce rolled a 25. Ah, much better. Without discerning secrets. While Mara is unsure, Pierce feels as if Metro Captain Brackett is holding back

some information, but he is your superior after all. Let's search the body of this Uncle Jeb. And so you do so. And in addition to his base, you find a letter. Oh, always a good thing. What does that say? And, uh,

I direct you back to VTT for a very interesting letter. Holy shit. Uh, who would like to read it? Uncle Jeb, it's been good.

It is good to be working with the Devil's Claws again. By serving me in this task, you further the goals of Chelliacs. You are to infiltrate the Pathfinder Lodge in Almas. Once inside, make your way down to the vaults below. Take anything that looks valuable or interesting. Once the alarm has been triggered, you will need to make your way out to the service entrance as you were shown in the planning session. Make haste and you will find reinforcements who will aid in your escape. I trust you will find the payment from our mutual benefactor agreeable.

I'm sending you with a gift. Should you need to avoid some pursuers, we'd like you to return it to the society. How dare they? It used to belong to an old, quote, friend, unquote. Signed, A. Throon. Throon, B.T. Dubs, is the ruling family of Chelliacs. Yeah, man. The noble ruling family of Chelliacs.

House Throon. His name was Uncle Jeb? That's weird. That's crazy. That wasn't a code name or anything? That was his real name? Yeah, it was his real name. He really was a loser.

Did he refer to himself in the third person as he cast a spell? Lame. He was a creeper. I was casting charm on her and so it was like, you wouldn't hurt your uncle, Joe. Oh, God, he's such a creepy uncle.

What a creep. Maybe she wouldn't have attacked you, but he would be like, go fetch my bathrobe and slippers. Can't you just be out of the fight? Anyways, Brackett hears the name Throon, and Valor, although emotionless, stiffens as well.

Sending you with a gift. What would that gift be? I do not. You search the rest of his body. It's like texts of Asmodeus. Asmodeus, a holy symbol, but you don't see anything else. I think... I wonder if

the gift is the thing that you threw back at them. Oh. If you need to avoid some pursuers, return it to the society. Maybe that was the thing they threw at us. That metronome?

Yeah. Yeah, maybe. I don't know though. Was that something they stole from the vaults? Or as everything starts to kind of get confusing in your head because you, Dr. Pierce, heard them say like, something's wrong, where's our people? So you just don't really know what's going on

but you see Brackett and Valor share a glance and from there we fade out and we fade back up outside of the room in the golden cathedral and the

ruling bodies are not there. The three members of the People's Council, however, as you're standing there with Brackett, still awaiting the decision, you see Valor approach. No longer blood all over their steel-framed body from the dozens of mercenaries they mowed down

to help out the Pathfinder Society and they come up to you and say may I have a moment of everyone's time? Of course. I have just been I mean I'm busy but like it's fine. I can come back.

No no no. Sorry sorry sorry. I have trouble discerning social cues, for I am but an automaton. That's my bad. No, please. I'm actually really interested in what you have to say. Well, I just wanted to tell you personally that the council has given you a unanimous verdict. Unanimous verdict.

And I wanted to say that I admire your achievement and will respect the wishes of the council. In fact, after today, you have shown me that even I may have some assumptions about the Pathfinders that were outdated and wrong. Not unlike your racist friend here. Yeah, it's so true. And it's so impressive that you're willing to learn and grow. You know? So that's what's important. Yes. It's unlike most robots.

Valor, you are... Valor, you are a good man. And I know you will find love. That is very kind of you to say, Dr. Pierce. However...

It was... It... It was Pierce. I'm sorry. Continue. The verdict aside, this new threat rising from Cheliax warrants caution and patience. I believe that the cathedral is in good hands for the time being, and I will request that the

Iomedaean Council put our proceedings on hold until further notice. Clearly, someone is coordinating with Cheliax to strike against us, and a direct attack on the society's lodge here in Andoran is an attack on Andoran itself. Valor?

Yes. I'm so sorry to interrupt. I don't really mean it when I say I'm hanging on your every word. I think I know who has been behind this.

The Chalaxian. Tell me all that you know, young, hopefully single lady. So, like, this is kind of a vibes thing, but trust me when I say my vibes are usually pretty great. Tritus, bad vibes. Really bad vibes.

Sneaky, backhanded, Trixie Little Hobbits' vibes. Wow. Don't like it. I have always gotten a good impression from him, even though I surely knew he had a bias towards your society. But I will kill him. Thank you. He'll go that far. That's all we wanted.

He'll be dead by morning. Charlie Nant says, no, you can go that far. Charlie Nant is very confident. We will work together. Church of Iomedae here and the Pathfinder Society. It is the only way we can stop this Chelliac's threat and Tritus. We will kill him together. Okay.

You four have demonstrated that you have good heads Upon your shoulders and good hearts I as an automaton Will never know the feeling of a heart Yet I do feel As if I understand for the first time The human emotion of Jealousy Perhaps

We are not so unlike each other After all And everyone including Valor Laughs Perhaps we are not so unlike each other after all. And everyone, including Valor, laughs. And we freeze like at the end of a Japanese cartoon. Let's do it. Everybody freeze. And that's the end of the center. Yay!

Dude, that was awesome. Oh my gosh. I can't believe that shit gets low ratings. Oh, that's always a mark of a good scenario. It's not everyone can get past the opening courtroom drama, I think. That was a really good episode of Law & Order. It was a season finale episode of Law & Order. Yeah.

Yeah. That's fun. And I'll just say real quick for paula mary lou i'm sure you haven't played much pathfinder society but like when i i i haven't played much this season at all but like when you play that what it is is like there is actually a larger plot and there would be another scenario that has to do with like chelix and then another one and then all of a sudden it'll build to a war and then there's like shit it's really cool and they do this every season there's major plots that get drawn out across the multiple nations it's really really fantastic if you're just looking for like

one-offs obviously this is like a four and a half hour hang but like if you're playing at home that's what a session should be that's normal but like yeah there's a whole session where like the girl is murdered on the steps and a ghost. That's a whole scenario that happens right before this one. So you can play that as well. But this was an absolute blast. I'm so glad we did this. Me too.

I had so much fun. Thank you guys for doing this. God, that was fun. Where's little Skid? I thought we'd see little Skid. Where's little Skid? You promised. Hey guys, I thought you did a great job tonight

I was just wrapped wrapped in tension I didn't want to interrupt alright little skit I'm out little skit you know I want to say thank you to our friends of the pod which is obviously Paizo

we can't speak highly enough of the Pathfinder system and if this doesn't convince you then keep listening because we've put out hundreds and hundreds of hours of Pathfinder 1E and 2E content. And I especially want to say thank you to Paula Deming and Mary Lou before I lose my voice. Thank you. You guys are the absolute best. And listen to Blood of the Wild. This is the cast, but instead of me, it's Jared GMing.

And it's fantastic. People are obsessed. It's super fun. Very, very, very fun. Very different, but very fun. The vibe is super different from this, but it's such a blast. I can't wait to play again. We're playing on Monday.

We're playing on Monday. Can't wait. Every time we record, I'm like, can we play another session now? We have to stop now? I know, it's so much fun. I look forward to it every week. Can we do one more right now? Seriously. And a big thank you to Corgian, who produced this episode.

Thank you. Who did everything behind the scenes, which is so much work, and it's so late at night. Thank you so much, Corgian. We really appreciate it. It allows me to just play, which is such a gift. So thank you. Yeah, thank you to everybody, and thank you for everybody that Corrigan. We really appreciate it. It allows me to just play, which is such a gift. So thank you. Yeah. Thank you to everybody.

And thank you for everybody that hung out the whole night and everybody that's watching this on VOD or listen to the pod and watching the video afterwards. We are the glass cannon network. Check us out at glass cannon network.com or tomorrow at two o'clock Eastern time for blade runners. Well, blade runner kids running. Uh,

good night, everybody. 13 hours. Thank you for watching thanks for listening to the glass cannon network for more podcasts and live streams visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive shows and content you can't find anywhere else subscribe today at patreon.com slash glass cannon. you