The Glass Cannon Podcast - Gatewalkers Episode 1 – Where's the Tavern?

Episode Date: September 15, 2023

Five heroes come together to investigate a global paranormal event. The Glass Cannon Podcast Campaign Two makes its long-awaited return with a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2nd Edition Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/Yyvcq7qdtIY This episode was sponsored by Demiplane, Foundry VTT and Norse Foundry. Check out Demiplane's Pathfinder Nexus and character creation tools at https://bit.ly/GCNOfficialTools See why tabletop gamers everywhere have made the switch to Foundry Virtual Tabletop at https://foundryvtt.com/gcp Visit https://nordvpn.com/gcp to receive an extra four months for free. The Glass Cannon Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/gcn today to get 10 percent off your first month. Visit https://manscaped.com and use the code "GCP" to get 20% off and free shipping. Visit https://magicspoon.com/gcp and use the code "GCP" to save five dollars off. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for hundreds of hours of exclusive shows and benefits, make your membership official and join Glass Cannon Nation today by becoming a subscriber at jointhenaish.com. Watch new episodes when they premiere every Thursday at 8PM ET on youtube.com/theglasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. On the series premiere of the Glass Cannon Podcast, Campaign 2. This is big. Yes, this is big. This is one of those things we've built up in our minds so much that you're like, well, now it can't possibly happen. But we're here and it's actually happening, which is amazing. Six friends will embark on a journey. I manifested being here. I didn't know that you manifested us. That's amazing. We got manifested.

How does it feel? Shrouded in mystery. We know some things. We know some things. Right, but I don't know what accent from another continent Matthew's going to do. I don't think Matthew knows what accent Matthew's going to do. And fraught with peril. Who's got a gun?

I just realized we are in an office building, and we have now screamed fire, and he's got a gun. Extremely loud. To forge their own story. You all traveled from wherever your homelands are, and have become, in his opinion, his most promising investigators. I'm so excited to be starting. With new allies. Matthew, who do you think you're most excited about? Skid's character.

Yeah. On a shared quest for truth. Why would you want smooth peanut butter and smooth milk? Shut the fuck up and start the game. The adventure begins. Yes! Yes! Now. 🎵 Thank you. Seven years ago, five men gathered in a queen's apartment to play a little game called Pathfinder.

It was eight years ago. Eight years ago. You lost a year. Five men gathered together. Podcast. Little did they know. They would change the face of podcasting forever. In May of 2022, we finished that adventure path. the Giant Slayer adventure path, after seven years.

That's why I was thinking seven. It was a seven-year campaign. 326 plus episodes, because a lot of those were two-parters, and a worldwide pandemic. Was there a four-parter? There was. I believe there was one four-parter. Yes. Certainly a lot of three-parters

Well over 330 episodes 500 episodes It's possible we overstayed our welcome Yes That's why we needed a break But today, we begin campaign two A blasted podcast Breaks over

Break is over. School's out for summer. That doesn't really... That's literally the exact opposite. School is in session. School is in session. No, this is recess. I don't know.

But the point is... Playtime. Today we... So what was the break? The break was... Winter break. I don't know. But we're back.

We're back. We're back. We're back. That's the point. And we're going to be playing the Pathfinder second edition Adventure Path called Gatewalkers. Yes. Yes. This has been looming for a while. Looming for a while.

Been thinking about this for a while. You said today not many people build characters and sit on them for six months. Well, you know what? I'm sure some people do, but not too many people constantly sit on them for six months. Well, you know what? I'm sure some people do, but not too many people constantly talk about them for six months and have a full party and constantly try to figure out what's going to happen first and constantly try to figure out how their character is going to fit in for six months.

And not know anything about anyone else's character. Right. Secrets throughout all of it. Cause we don't know anything still. Right. I know something. I know things. We know something. We know something. We know some things. Right. But I don't know anything still. Right. I know something. I know things. We know something.

We know something. We know some things. Right. But I don't know what voice, Matthew. I don't know what accent from another continent Matthew's going to do.

I don't think Matthew knows what accent. Yeah. Matthew has narrowed it. It's like when I order something at a restaurant. I narrow it down to a few options

and I just see what happens. You know, sometimes you don't really figure out these characters until five, ten episodes in. So don't worry if today's voice is different from episode 20. Who cares? And it will be.

And it will be. But yeah, you guys know a lot more about your characters than we did when we first played. Because when we first played Giant Slayer episode one, I don't think you had ever really talked. Certainly not in depth. It was a discovery as we were going through. It was back at a time where we didn't have session zeros. That didn't exist in our culture of gaming. It didn't exist in the world.

No one had ever done it. We invented it. We invented it. Proudly. And named it. Yeah. Yeah. That was us.

Now people everywhere do it. They don't realize they should be attributing it to us. That's right. In fact, we should get our lawyers on that. We need you to cease and desist with your use of the term session zero at home. I'll tell you, though, before we talk about characters, we should introduce the people around this table because there's a chance there are millions of people who are just discovering us for the first time. And they may not know our players, our dramatis personae. So I'm going to go around the horn just like we did in episode one. I want to get to know the people here at this table.

I'm going to start to my left. He is a man that I met on the day that I got back into playing role-playing games. Literally the day that I got back into it uh he is one of the sweetest men in the world he is a fountain of knowledge about uh not only role-playing games but everything uh if you don't know him you're gonna fall in love skidmar okay ladies and gentlemen skidmar until the last second i wasn't sure you were talking about me i remember like which one is left they called me sweet that's nice that could be joe i've never referred to any of you as sweet no that's the first for sure i want to be nice uh today skid what i mean imagine the level of excitement it's got to be through the roof yeah this is really really great i mean just on top of just being in this amazing studio all the work

that so many people have put into making this happen just all of us being in this amazing studio, all the work that so many people have put into making this happen, just all of us being in a room together playing this game is so exciting to me. This takes everything that's for me to a whole new level. And it's just so nice to just be able to look at people and be in the same room with them. We haven't done it in a long time.

The only time we really get to play with each other anymore is on the road. And even then we're just like in a line, we don't really look at each other that much. I try to avoid it at all costs. So yeah, this is, it's so nice to be back in the room. We really haven't been in the room like this since the last episode of giant slayer in this capacity. Next up is a young lady that we met via a casting. Do you realize this? It was an open call. Some would call it a cattle call, but I think that is rude.

I wouldn't call her a cow. That's why you're so sweet. You are so sweet, Skid. I would hold back on calling her a cow. That's where you and I differ. Skid might think it, but he would never voice it. I'd never say it.

Troy opened the door at the casting when we were inside the office and was like, Bring in the cows! And then I prodded Sydney. I'm branded. I got branded on my way in, which was weird. Actually, funny story. I believe we, because we put up this casting notice, which you're not even allowed to do anymore. It's a whole thing.

Like, oh, role-playing games? That's not a thing. And we had a million people respond, and my thing was like, got to make sure you play role-playing games. And of course, 95% of them never played a role-playing game in their life. And you just had this resume a mile long.

You were in the gaming community, and you didn't show up to the audition. Wait, really? I didn't know that. No, that is an incorrect interpretation. It's slightly correct. Okay, so basically what happened was she didn't reply to the appointment. So we assumed she was not coming to the audition.

And I was like, damn, that's disappointing. Because Sydney seemed perfect. She had extensive RPG experience because she is a geek. And I was like, this is exactly who we we need and then no response to the time hey how's one work sydney no response for a week or whatever so then i walked out at one point into the waiting room to grab somebody else and there's sydney sitting there on the couch and i was like sydney emmanuel there was a miscommunication it was through this this casting site that we used and for some reason the messaging in the site it was through this casting site that we used. And for some reason, the messaging in the site, it was like lines crossed. Like I didn't get the thing. I couldn't respond to it. You didn't get my message. So I was like, well, I guess I'll just show up. And if they're there,

they're there. And if they like canceled it or something, then I'll just go home, I guess. But- And that's saying a lot because we were in Queens. You did not live in Queens. I didn't even live in the city. You lived upstate, right? At the time, yeah. I hadn't moved back to the city yet. I just really wanted to meet you guys. I really wanted to meet you.

I wanted to hopefully play with you and get the job. But yeah, and we played Pathfinder 2E because it had just come out. So I was new to it and you guys were new to it. And I remember I played a goblin, I think. We played for like, what, 30 minutes? I think you played a goblin, I think. We played for like, what, 30 minutes? I think you played a goblin alchemist. Yeah. And it was just like, what's so funny is it's funny to think that it was a casting before because now we've obviously become friends. It's been so many years and we've played thousands of hours of games together now.

So you just, you forget that it was originally a casting call, which is hilarious. Totally. And also I forget what it's like to be with you guys in this setting, because I haven't done this since androids, since the old studio, playing androids and aliens with everybody. And I remember when I got on that show, I was so excited because I got to play in person. I was like, this is amazing. And then we switched to all online because of a little thing called COVID. But I'm so happy to be back. This is amazing. of a little thing called COVID. But I'm so happy to be back. This is amazing.

Next up is someone that we brought into the network because I said, I never want to do a casting again. After meeting Sydney, I was like, let's never do this. Let's just wing it. This is our first mistake. Ever again. And so I was like,

how the hell do you find people that play games and that know our content? And they're not going to be a complete weirdo, a social weirdo. You can only have two of those, not three. I took to the social media, as the children call it. And I was like, let me just look through people that follow us, people that comment on our photos and see if I can find anyone that looks interesting. And I stumbled upon Kate Stamis. I had purple hair then. You did. Yes.

Blue hair. You stood out in all of that. You stood out. It's like wearing a bow to a dancer. Look at me. It was entirely superficial is what you're saying. Yes. Yes.

Let's choose her. Funny thing. When I would listen to Giant Slayer, I remember wanting to play games like this again and trying to set up. We played Starfinder with friends and stuff, but I was just like, it wasn't scratching the itch. And I was like, I don't want to play with my friends. I want to play this game with these people exactly like this. And I was like, and I'm never going gonna get to do that because I don't fucking know these people

I manifested being here I didn't know that you manifested us that's amazing how does it feel oh we got that's amazing I never knew that yeah I uh didn't you want to play with your friends?

Are they watching right now? Role play as much. I don't know. Just the way that you guys told a story. It's like, who am I going to find to like do that and spend their time? Yeah. It's hard finding that like particular flavor of role playing that you want to

do. And like, we've sort of kind of settled on one. And yeah, that's what we like. And they weren't in as good a shape as we are. Yeah. They're not as strong as we are physically. You want a real muscular crew. Yeah.

Yeah. I want to play with the strongest role player. Like physically strong. Like lift a lot of weights. Beefcake vibes. Yeah. Yeah. Gym rats.

Absolute gym rats. I love gym rats. I really like their conditioning that's why i want speaking of beef cakes oh my look at this side of beef over here uh yeah i want to see you in a bow tie and nothing else. No, I don't. Next hotel room we should. You'll have your chance. Bring the bow tie. I'll bring the nothing else. This is Matthew Capitacazza.

Matthew, when we started Giant Slayer, and I've said this before on other shows, I think. I don't know. I say a lot of things. We had played together either once or zero times. Twice. Twice. Or twice. I was going to say that next.

Played together twice. Hung out maybe one other time. I think I had hung out with your wife more than you, just going to Joe's Super Bowl parties and other- I met you at a Super Bowl party. Gatherings, yes. And I think the first Super Bowl party, we actually were, like the Giants won. Did we high five?

I think we were across the room from each other, but we were like two of the only Giants fans in the room. I wouldn't be surprised if we hugged. I wouldn be surprised and it was the last time it was the last nine and a half years ago uh and now look at you you were you know one of the reasons when we were talking to joe i was talking to him i was like who the hell else can we bring in to this i was like i really like that matthew guy i didn't got to know you yet. And I was like, you can't, you can't. I mean, it was a huge mistake because I can't rectify

at this point, but that was my feeling at the time. What I liked, because I was like, I've only played him a couple of times. He seems like he's

starting to learn. I mean, we were still learning the game, but you were really green. I was like, what a great idea to have somebody

who really hasn't played at all because then people listening will get to see things through your perspective. And now you're arguably the best player at the table. Yeah, I wouldn't go that far.

Well, I was just being nice. Kate's pretty good. Kate's pretty good. I'm the best player at the table. Are you? She was like, I want to play with those guys because they need me. They need me. They stink.

My talent. My strength. Are you excited? I'm very excited. Yeah. I also am very excited to play in person. Yeah, we came back after COVID to finish Giant Slayer in person, but it was weird. We were sitting very apart.

Apart from each other, we all had where we used to play at one table, then we were suddenly playing at six different tables. Yeah. We're all masking in between takes. Yeah. It was, uh, it was intense. Now we're at this one single beautiful table together.

Yeah. Isn't this nice? Look at this table. It's so big. I kind of makes me wish we had minis. When we first started, I had a body mic and I would be drawing maps and putting, it seems crazy.

Now it is insane. We were drawing maps during the podcast. I picture, I picture, skid vamp. I picture Troy as Tom Cruise from Magnolia with long hair. He's on stage. He's like, and here's what we're going to do. And he's wearing leather pants and walking around with a body mic. You're really not far off. You're not that far off.

Is that how you picture me? Magnolia, that was one one of those vhs's that had two vhs's that was a double vhs double vhs whoa i don't know yes i know just from my blockbuster days every movie that was a double vhs name two more joe uh titanic titanic titanic the sound of music sound of music he asked joe thank you matthew the sound of music. Ben-Hur. Actually, I don't know who's sounding it. Ben-Hur. Godfather, I feel like. Godfather. Lawrence of Arabia.

Lawrence of Arabia. Well, speaking of Sultans, I would like to introduce you to a man. He was the best man at my wedding, and now we are barely friends. We barely see. We only work together. That's all we do. We're not very close anymore. Speaking of him, Sultans.

At the time, we were very close uh i'm i'm the meanest to him out of everybody it's because i love him so much yeah because you know it's like it's fun though to do it to him yeah it is something about his dumb face there's something about him it's just look at him you just have to like don't jump on. Come on. Just look at him. Thought we brought in somebody to defend me. Joe O'Brien, everybody. Joe O'Brien.

All right. Joey O, talk to me, buddy. This is big. This is big. Yes, this is big. This is one of those things we've built up in our minds so much that you're like, well, now it can't possibly happen. But we're here and it's actually happening, which is amazing.

And I just want to echo your sentiment that i think you said i don't know if you said it on air but just it's good said at least how many people put this together uh you know we all got in here and got our hands dirty but there's so many people behind the screens uh cj and our friend francis and matt and and uh michael and tristan i mean there's just so many people involved in this that aren't on camera mcd that aren't on camera that uh yeah i'm so grateful and excited, it's just so many people involved in this that aren't on camera. McD, that aren't on camera that, yeah, I'm so grateful and excited. And it's just so cool. It'll be like, take our old Pathfinder game and then be like, now I'm going to do one with a headphone that looks like I'm on TV. Oh my God. It's just the coolest thing. It's the coolest thing. It is cool. What would you say you are most excited about? Because there's like starting this venture is

there's so many different layers to what's happening right now, right? We're starting a new adventure, we're starting a new podcast in a way like our campaign to just a lot of firsts, but I'm talking about, you know, like, out of all of those things, what are you most excited about? Because sometimes just starting a new adventure is like the thing that you could be most excited about city, what are you most excited? I selfishly, like this new character that I've been working on and I've sat with it, Joe was saying for so long, I just want to like discover who she is. I just want to figure it out as the game goes on and like see what her decision making is and like go with the improv and go with the role play. I was joking on stream a few nights ago that like, it's like you name your baby, you have a baby and you pick the name

and then you tell your closest friends and then they all have their own individual reactions to the name of your child. And they're all supportive, but some of them are like, Oh, is that a family name? Yeah. Is that a family name? Yeah, right. Is that a family name? Very religious, are you? Interesting.

So I'm curious about, like, your reactions as players and as the GM, how you feel. But I'm also, when people listen to this, I'm curious how everybody else perceives my character. I'm excited for that. Well, it's interesting because my follow-up was going to be, what are you most nervous about? And it sounds like the same thing. Being judged by your friends. Yep. Matthew, the thing you're most excited about?

Skid's character. Yeah. Yeah, I think you know a little bit. Obviously, we did the character creation. I know Ancestry. I think I only know Ancestry, but it doesn't matter. Whatever it was, I would be excited for it.

Yeah, good answer. Most nervous about? Skid's character. Wow, two in a row that are the same answer that's hard to top kate most excited for what um i'm excited to play level one character yeah and i'm excited to wait have you done it in 2e no no this is your first level one character i started the live show at level seven right so what are you most nervous about um ruining the show that i manifested myself yeah single-handedly that's true you only would only have yourself to blame my greatest fear is that kate will ruin the show yeah i love the idea of you listening to it after

being on it and being like i don't like this show anymore i can't listen to myself i don't like that kate on the show if only only they replaced Kate said Kate. Just get most excited for. Initially, I'm most excited to see everyone's arts because I know how happy I am with mine and I haven't seen anyone else's. And just the idea I love. And I, you know, I love my character, but I love that, like, process of sort of developing relationships among the characters. That's something that, like, what shape is this group going to take? You know, meeting all of them and then, like, forming that new kind of entity of, like, them as a collective.

That's so fun for me. And I can't wait to see how that goes. Most nervous for? That Kate will ruin the show. It's weird that we share that. It's bad. The three of us have that. Suddenly I also have all coming together.

This is my plan. I lower your expectations. Yeah. Yeah. So now our new bar is, well, she didn't ruin the show. Ruin. Ruin's a the show. Ruined the show.

So let's keep her. Ruined's a strong word. Speaking of ruined, thing you're most excited about, Joe? I think after all the work we put in on this studio, I'm most excited about the video aspect of this particular show that's going to look a lot different than anything we've done before. show that's going to look a lot different than anything we've done before and is going to actually capture us doing our podcasts for the first time in a way that it actually felt like when we did our podcast. When we did A&A Live in Studio for a few weeks, that wasn't really the way that we did our podcast. And this arrangement where we're sitting around a table together, I want people to be in on that and to see that. So that's what I'm most excited about.

And what would you be most nervous about? Dice rolling, rolling dice. No, I want, I love my character and I'm worried about, um, uh,

my character not living up to my character that I built up in my head. And dice rolling is a part of that. Cause you're just like, this guy really stinks. You know, I guess. Do you have a voice ready for him? Have you been practicing a voice? No.

No, not really. Just to see what happens. Yeah, I'm going to try to keep it simple. I bet he will sound like this. Oh my God. That's him, right? Whoa. How did you know that?

I can feel it. That's your like. I was going, we're Troy NPC. That's my voice. I think you'll quickly see that all mine sound. Every now and then in a game that I get to GM, I do a voice. I'm like, I'm just doing Troy doing. Troy NPC.

It's a classic voice. What are you most excited about? I am most excited to start. There's been just a lot of buildup to this. And I've been sitting with the adventure for a long time. But it's a lot different between like sitting with an adventure and starting the actual prep and then beginning because there's no safety net. Once you start, that's episode one and that's episode two.

So I'm excited about that. And it's the same thing that I have fears about, but it's a healthy fear now. It's like, I'm letting it go. At a certain point, you've got to, you know, hold on tightly, let go lightly, and I'm ready to let go and get this out into the world. Yeah, I would imagine you have a, there's just so much more in your mind on this because of how much you

know of the actual story. We know nothing, nothing. And so it's really interesting. You must be just eager to get our characters in there and see what they do. Yeah. And I know it sounds crazy to a lot of people, but when we started, I hadn't read the entire Giant Slayer Adventure Path from start to finish because I just, I don't like preparing that way. I kind of like to prepare along the way. I had an idea of what each book would be, but, uh, I didn't, I just wanted to focus on one thing at a time. And I mean, there were sessions we'd sit down and I'd be like, shit, I have not read this part that they stumbled into because it was very sandboxy to begin with. Whereas this I've, I've read every

single book multiple times now. And I feel like I understand it. But I'm just excited to see. I've got what the Pizer writers have created, but I'm excited to see what we create together. And most nervous about? That was what I was most nervous about. Oh, you already asked that question. Yeah, I did. I said, what are you most excited about? Yeah, but then you asked me what I was most nervous about.

I'm most nervous about Joe not listening. Now that I'm more nervous about that than I am Kate. I said the words, what are you most nervous about twice? Okay, now I'm nervous about my mental capacity to finish the first episode of my declining mental state. We asked Joe about episode one. He's like, we recorded episode one. We recorded an episode? The whole thing?

I would recommend we don't start with episode two shouldn't these characters meet each other that might be artistically interesting but we should start with number one guys i think we should uh start with number one i think we should start this adventure and meet these characters and we're going to do so right after this break. Stick around. We will be right back with the beginning of GameWalkers. I want to quickly thank NordVPN for sponsoring today's episode of the GCP. It is so cool to have Nord be a part of the GCP because I'm a Nord user. I use the app for a ton of different things, including privacy protection or identity theft protection is another way to say it.

And much more importantly, for watching sports. It's hilarious that I can put those two things together as one product services. But it is true. I may have mentioned this before, but my wife and I have been the victim of identity theft more than once. It's brutal. And so I get super paranoid when we go on the road for Glass Cannon Live and stuff using hotel internet, any kind of public Wi-Fi. And NordVPN keeps all my information private when I use these networks. But then when I'm back home, I want to stream a Philly game and I'm in the New York market. And for a myriad of reasons, these games get blocked and I can just change my virtual location. Bam, I'm watching sports.

And even if sports isn't your thing, nor does the same exact thing with movies or TV shows. If you're not allowed to watch it in your country, you can just change your location and bam, movie night. Can I say location? Bam. A few more times in this read to celebrate the launch of campaign to Nord VPN is offering the nation an exclusive risk free deal. Sign up for a two year deal and get four months free if you use our unique URL. And we're talking about a cost of like a cup of coffee a month to have this amazing app.

To grab our huge discount off your NordVPN plan, go to nordvpn.com slash GCP. With every purchase of the two-year plan, you will receive four bonus months for free. And there's no risk with Nord's 30-day money-back guarantee. The link is in the episode description box. The Glass Cannon Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you're anything like me, sometimes you don't sleep. I would call it well. Yeah, I don't sleep well sometimes. I'm just like thoughts in my head or racing around, swirling around, circling around. Whatever metaphor you choose, there's a lot of them, the thoughts, and they come at me very fast. And sometimes that keeps me up at night, or I wake up,

or I wake up early. And it's, you know, it's not my favorite experience. One way, it turns out, to make those racing thoughts subside or slow down or just generally become more digestible is to talk them through. And therapy gives you a place to do that so you can stop spiraling and find some mental and emotional peace. There are a lot of skills you can learn in therapy, positive coping skills, how to set proper boundaries, how to manage the experience of what it is to be a human being on this planet right now with all that entails. And if you're thinking of starting therapy, maybe give BetterHelp a try. It's 100% online, designed to be convenient, flexible,

and suited to your schedule. You just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge if it's not a good match. Get a break from your thoughts with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash GCN today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash GCN. I can't believe it's time to start this thing. It's just crazy to me how far we've come that we're going to start this now. Both Skid and Joe mentioned it. So many people to thank for helping us get this show off the ground. And I want to thank three other groups, I guess you could call them, that we haven't mentioned yet. Our sponsors for the new Glass Cannon Podcast.

Hello. Campaign 2. First of all, Demiplane. If you are not using the Pathfinder Nexus, you are out of your mind. It is a complete game changer. It's gorgeous. And Demiplane is going to be the official character creation software of the Glass Cannon Podcast. We've been using it for a while. Yeah. And I mean, it's still, what would you call it? The open beta now? Yeah. Still the open beta, but I mean, you post something in the forum and within, I mean, Kate, you've already experienced this. Yeah. Like within a day,

someone was like, oh, we're on it. We're fixing it. And then the next day it was fixed. Second sponsor, the official VTT of the Glass Cannon podcast, oft requested, and we dove in headfirst to foundry VTT. Yes. I mean, this is something that people have been asking for a long time for us to make the switch. And it wasn't that we weren't aware of how great it was. It's just a lot that goes into learning a new tabletop, doing justice to it and making sure that it was going to be the right fit for us. Well, I mean, it's just it elevates your game to the next level. It's going to make my life so much easier. And we aren't even using 25% of all of its capabilities just because of the way we play uh i'm excited to even learn more as we dig in uh and our final sponsor i want to mention uh the official dice of the gcp our good friends you guessed it founder yeah for all your random number generating needs we're actually going to have uh player dice soon you're going to have dice in our store for each player troy dice joe dice matthew just everything i was going to do character player dice soon you're going to have dice in our store for each player troy dice joe dice matthew just everything i was going to do character dice but i was like i've looked at some of these sheets i don't think a lot of you're gonna last yeah i said that pre

show i was like i'm not sure how long i'm gonna last i don't want to buy uh character obsolete dice no one's gonna want a collector a free week. A collector's item. But yeah, we're not going to do that. We're going to do Kate dice. Kate dice. Kate dice. Kate dice. And we all chose our own dice.

We did. It's very cool. I'm so excited. Yeah. Yeah. We might get some cool boxes. We're still thinking about how we're going to.

I love them. I love working with those guys. Yeah. I text with Eric at Norse Foundry all the time. They're the best. Very good. Great guys.

The only good thing to ever come out of Florida. That's right. good. Great guys. The only good thing to ever come out of Florida. That's right. We love those guys. And let's talk before I jump in about bottle caps. Oh. I mentioned it on the character creation episode, if you didn't catch that. Pathfinder 2E uses a system called Hero Points, and I don't like it.

I don't like it. Here we go. First of all, I don't like that they're called Hero Points. That doesn't mean anything to me. What means something to me is bottle caps. Yeah. Because you drink a lot. Because I'm an avid beer drinker.

But we want to, first of all, we want to call them bottle caps. We don't call them Hero Points. You call them Hero Points, I'm going to be very upset. Well, what you told me pre-show was if somebody calls it a Hero point, you take it away. Right. Or I get a bottle. Oh yeah, you get a bottle.

That's terrible. Can't you just levy a fine or something? I don't want to have to punish you, but I will. I like the idea of cash fines. Yeah, cash fines. Then you can have even more beer. We can have a jar in the middle of the table and it's just like everyone says the wrong name.

You've got to throw like $1,500 in there. Like a Sawyer jar, but for – But for rich people. So we're going to use bottle caps. And honestly, they function, I think, identically to how our hero points are used, with the exception being you get one. I'm going to give you all to start the – one to start the adventure. But they don't just automatically refresh every session or every few hours.

You now have to earn them. Every single one has to be earned. This is going to be a grittier game. And hopefully you'll be heroes. And we don't have to worry about me not giving them out. Joe, please take one of your choice and pass them around. First draft pick! Whoa. Hell yeah, dude!

They all have the same powers. Oh, so much cool stuff. I'm going to take Raga Bear Daughter. Oh, nice. Yes, so lucky. And for all of you Pathfinder fans listening at home that are saying, well, the game is balanced in such a way that the hero points are actually necessary. We know we've made that case to Troy. We're well aware.

The man does not care. But actually, and in Troy's defense, they do write it in plain English, right in the court rule book. They say, if you are looking for a grittier game, that's why he used that exact word so that the lawyers can get him. I did my own. Get rid of the hero points. They say it.

They do say it. And that was the only line that I read. I skipped the previous line uh but you have one and uh here's how it works you lose that cap because you like took it home with you and flushed down the toilet the cap's gone you have to have the physical cap mcd gave me a bag of caps and i'm i've counted every single one like a dice bag is that a skull on the front that's a good bag that's a cool bag character It's your character's skull. It looks like you should stuff that with gold coins when you actually rob a bank.

Stuff your stories in a sack, mister. I'm scared I was expecting you to. I appreciate it as a reference. It's a Seinfeld reference. You're going to get that. Kate and Sidney have no idea what we're talking about. You lost me when you were talking about VHSs. Yeah, you know that line from Seinfeld.

Chicken, Kramer. No soup. No chicken. There's no soup. No soup. That's not it. That's not it. He doesn't say there is no soup.

There's no soup. There's no soup. There is no soup. There's no soup. There's no soup left. There's no soup left. Remember that famous line from Seinfeld? That could be our famous line. There's no soup left Remember that famous line That could be our famous line There's no soup That should be our subtitle

It's what you say when you're out of hero points There's no soup You have to put money in, you just said hero points Cash $1,500 For a violation Look at you in that blazer Look at his suit next to me $1,500 for violation. Look at you in that blazer. All right.

Look at his suit next to me. It's nothing for me. I remind myself of an NFL player when I think of my salary. Yeah. It's right in that range. It's like nothing. It's all tax deductible. You don't care.

It is a tax write-off when you put that $1,500 in the center. Yep. I like the idea of this NFL player analogy now, because if you don't like something that I... a decision that I made, you can't comment about it or you'll get fined. And I can't gamble on our game.

That's true as well. And you can't get mad at me if I forget something because I'll say I got hit in the head too many times. That's also true. Decisions you make do cause me brain trauma. This is the episode by the way this is going to be the whole episode we're just so excited to be back in the room let's go uh so we are you know we have to try and contain our excitement because i i mean we've got a lot

of story and i have one follow-up on the on the bottle caps they work like hero points in the book with no changes, correct? All right, what are you trying to gain me on here? You would toss around maybe some sort of change, but there is no changes. They work like they do in the book mechanically. Yes, yes. The only thing I would consider changing is you not having to use all of them to stabilize when you have the time. You only have to use one because they're so hard to earn.

Well, you're never going to have more than one. I really am. I don't think you have to worry about that too much. But you can't have more than three at a time. So it's going to encourage you to spend. Again, I don't think you have to worry about that. But sometimes Matthew will do a couple of cool things in an app and I just can't help but give him. You mean cast spells from his spell list that you think are cool spells?

Sometimes it's like, I never heard of that. It's metal in my eyeball but uh yeah i'll talk to me in episode two i gotta reread how they work but i think it works normal way there's one optional rule for that some people use for for their hero points in a game you can trade one in for a temporary plus 10 boost to any one of your attribute scores oh but it only lasts for like six hours or something. For one round. Six seconds of game time. It only lasts for 10 hours.

I read that somewhere. Six hours. I don't think that's true. I propose that. Well, I think they'll... I mean, it makes for a grittier game when you do it that way. Yeah. When you can inject a superhuman ability.

For 10 hours. For 10 hours. I think we have to start. I think we have to just dive right in um just because i i really want to get to the uh post episode one celebration at the nearby bar i've got a table waiting um you guys should come too but i uh i was gonna say that just you were in the corner table for one drinking alone so i'm like lauren michaels at an snl post bar just sitting in the back um this is uh i did it unfortunately episode ones tend to be a lot of uh sit back and listen to me talk i'm going to try to avoid that or we're just going to go long because i want to hear from all

of you guys but we're just going to go long because i just like the sound i really sound good on these mics in the studio and so can you feel that peanut butter and velvet right in there there it is joe wishes he had that yeah you didn't just come up with that. You've used the term peanut butter and velvet to describe your voice for a decade. That's because I once went to a voiceover audition and I was a little hungover and I nailed it. I sounded amazing, but I wasn't going to say anything. And I was in there with another gentleman and between takes, he goes, your voice sounds like peanut butter and velvet. I don't know if that's a compliment. Then we high-fived.

Peanut butter? Yeah. You don't put it on the velvet. It was like peanut butter and also velvet. I'm picturing peanut butter on velvet in a sandwich. Yeah. And if there's peanut butter in your mouth, your voice would sound terrible. But it's smooth.

It was creamy peanut butter. Yeah, it was creamy, obviously. Because I would say your voice sounds chunky. Your voice sounds like the oil that separates on top. It's a natural peanut butter and it

does tend to split. No, I would say you have a little bit of crunch in your voice. It's a good thing. A little bit of crunch? Yeah.

You like that? A little vocal fry. It's good. All right. Well, I'm glad you like it because I'm about to talk. Because why would

you want smooth peanut butter and smooth velvet? Shut the fuck up and start the game. All right. We this again this could be a lot of uh sit back and listen but there's a lot of foundation to be laid here and i really want to get you into the zone joe can i hear a funky beat a funky beat not a real funky i don't have any funk i know it doesn't have to be funky just a real joke couldn't pick a funky beat, not a real funky beat. I don't have any funky beats. I know. It doesn't have to be funky. Joe couldn't pick a funky beat out of it.

He's standing on top of it. He wouldn't know a funky beat if it hit him with its car. You are going to play some music that we've never heard before, and that's why I'm so excited about it. I don't understand. I can't wait to be asked. I need some background music. I'm done.

Ugh, the pressure. The stress. What mood are you going for? Is it horrifying what we're about to see or is this a beautiful sunny day? Something that's like the opening of the most important project we've ever done. Do you have something like that? No big category. You didn't make a folder for that?

No, actually. A folder on your desktop that says most important project we've ever, expensive project we've ever done. Can we use the theme from Magnum PI? We have the rights to that. Yeah, can we hear that? We got pumped up with the theme from Magnum PI and the theme from magnum pi we have the rights to that yeah can we hear that we got pumped up with the name of mcdonald pi and the theme from hill street blues yeah actually maybe we could start with some hill street blues that that's more appropriate if you have that yeah let me just just find out who holds that license real quick just give me a

second i can wait i got all day no just give me give me a funky beat or are you waiting for me to talk i'm waiting for you to talk set a scene scene. You do the work. Oh, so you're going to, we're going to like improvise. Exactly. Okay. I'm going to compose on the fly. All right. Once again. I have a digital composer.

I want you all and everyone at home. I didn't plan on saying this, but I just thought of it. We need to jump into the imagination sphere. Oh boy. Take a ride on the imagination copter because it's time to begin. We fade up on a blank white sky. The wind is whipping and you can tell

just by looking that there's a deep cold in the air. Suddenly a snow owl flies into view, and we follow it as it gradually flies over a massive icy tundra. There are no tall buildings anywhere, barely any trees, just a frozen wasteland Wasteland stretching out between snow-capped mountains and rocky hills. The owl flies over and down into the site until it alights on someone's outstretched arm. The person uses their free hand to pull down their hood and goggles to reveal a beautiful woman with dark tan skin, fierce blue eyes. She leans into the snow owl and nods her head as the bird makes sounds into her ear.

And a man, one of the laborers, comes up to them and says, What news, ice rider? She turns to the owl. What news, Ice Rider? She turns to the owl. Kuoke says the disturbance hasn't seemed to alert any of the more dangerous wildlife here. We should be fine. Are you sure it's been contained?

Yes, we believe so. We're no longer digging in that area until we're certain that it's safe. Strangest thing I've ever seen, but there doesn't seem to be any ill effects from the blast. Good. Then let's keep at it and be more careful. You have my word, Zavala. The man goes back to work, ducking under the flap of a tent. The woman strokes the snow owl's head and then stretches her arm out, and the bird takes flight again.

It swirls around the dig site, passing by one of the very few trees in the area, and then it flies off and out of sight, until we're just left with this one lone tree and the distant sounds of the excavation. Slowly, we zoom into this tree like one of those uncomfortable Stanley Kubrick zooms. We get closer until we see the snow-covered branches now in perfect focus. And we go all the way up to one branch in particular, where we see the smallest black fleck. Almost looks like dirt or soot.

And this little black flake just sits in the snow that's hanging on this branch. just sits in the snow that's hanging on this branch. Suddenly a wind picks up, and the flake lifts up a little bit and flutters in the breeze before detaching and flying out of sight. From there, we open on a beautifully manicured garden. You can hear birds singing, all kinds of colors filling the scene, the flowers, the trees, the bushes, all meticulously groomed

and perfectly placed to evoke peace and harmony. Several buildings can be seen in the short distance as a cathedral, dormitory, stables, and an old wooden sign hangs over a postern gate that says, Weimer Abbey. We move through this

garden and up over a hedge where we see a man in the distance, kneeling in the dirt, late twenties, maybe a little bit older. He's slim, lank distance, kneeling in the dirt, late 20s, maybe a little bit older. He's slim, lanky, bordering on frail, almost grayish skin with thinning brown hair. He wears a gray, heavy cotton monk's robe, and with his hands he digs deep into the roots of a weed, rips it from the rich soil, and he sets it gently on a pile of discarded weeds that he's been working on for quite a while. He stands to stretch and squeezes his eyes shut against the bright sun.

Sweat drips from his nose. And suddenly the silence of this scene is broken by a voice. A war is coming. The voice is impossible. It comes from the sky, it comes from the ground, it comes from everywhere all at once. It's deep and mythic, much deeper

than my voice. A lot more peanut butter. Could you picture even more velvet? This would be a crunchy peanut butter voice. This is a voice from beyond. The man's eyes dart Could you picture even more velvet? This would be a crunchy peanut butter voice. I just don't know. This is a voice from beyond. The man's eyes dart open, and he looks around.

Is he imagining this? The voice speaks again. Brother Ramius of Latria, a war is coming, and you must choose a side. Looking to the heavens, the young man drops to his knees. Clearly this is some god sent to test him. The monk speaks to the clouds and the trees around him.

I will not choose. For war itself is the enemy. The Keeper wields a weapon that will defeat all wars. Enlightenment. There's silence once again. And again, the voice booms. A war is coming. The voice is so powerful, so assured of its message that a shudder runs through Brother Ramius.

He feels a deep fear, a terrible truth. Something is coming. Run, the voice says. The cathedral behind him begins to fall. The cut stones collapse into each other. The windows shatter. The earth yawns open at his feet as if to swallow him. Run! Brother Amius awakes in his dormitory room, lying on his cot as the echo of the voice's last words still ring in his ears.

He's breathless and feels a knot in his stomach. It was just a dream, he thinks. But yet something is definitely wrong. He smells something. Smoke. He leaps from his bed and looks out the window. We see

firelight reflected in his face and he shouts in alarm. Fire! The brothers that share his room snap awake and stumble from their cots, yelling, Keeper, save us! All three look out the window to see the cathedral at the center of the abbey, covered in flames. Ramius runs to the door of their room and swings it open. Fire! He yells to awaken the others, and in a heartbeat, smoke is pouring into his room.

He coughs and grabs a cloth to throw over his face, and we see him trying to suss out how smoke from the cathedral is getting all the way into the dormitory. Rooms up and down the hall start opening, and brothers and sisters are running everywhere. From the floor below, he hears more voices. Fire! Fire! They wail in panic. He runs to the stairs and sees smoke billowing up. Screams echo from the floors below. So he runs through the smoke to see flames licking

the walls of the first floor. The dormitory is on fire as well. He keeps going through the hall toward the front door and his eyes begin to burn. He has trouble breathing. He's coughing and choking as he reaches the front door and dozens of other brothers and sisters are pressing in behind him. He goes to open the door and it doesn't budge. A dozen more brothers and sisters press him against the door. It's blocked! It's born! Go back! Go back! You hear sounds of wood beginning to splinter and crack and now he can barely see. He has to close his eyes from the stinging smoke, and he can feel dozens of monks shouting and panicking and pushing as he's pinned

up against the door. Go back! Go back! Others are saying, go back! Go back! And the pressure is eased as they begin to push backward into the inferno. He starts to move with the rush to find another way out, but then realization sets in. He talks softly to himself. We are under attack. They are killing us. Tears pour down his face, and he runs. And as he runs, he prays. He can't see, but he hears his family

screaming all around him, dying. He breaks free of a mass of people and finds the stairs again. He starts yelling to the others, but breaks free of a mass of people and finds the stairs again. He starts yelling to the others, but breaks down in a fit of coughing. Up! We have to go up! The smoke is so thick at the ceiling

that he can't breathe. He can't see. He puts one hand on a step, then another. Someone steps on his hand as they scramble up the steps. He closes his eyes for a moment, just a moment. A beam cracks, and he hears theramble up the steps, he closes his eyes for a moment, just a moment. A beam

cracks and he hears the voice from the dream again, lingering in his head. Run! The fire is worse, but he feels a renewed energy now. He crawls up the steps and sees, to his horror, that the flames have fully reached the second floor. He crawls into the hall and sees a priestess, Sister Kona, slumped against the wall. She's unconscious. He rouses her and her eyes open slightly. Sister, we have to get out. We have to get out.

He just keeps yelling at her and she doesn't seem to understand. Her eyes close again. She is succumbing to the smoke. He grabs her hands and stands up into the smoke. He holds her breath and tries to pull her up. He pulls, but he's too weak, thin, and frail. He struggles to pull her dead weight. He can't do it without oxygen, so he breathes in,

and he breathes in a mouthful of smoke, then collapses to the floor in a coughing fit. He looks into Kona's face, and she's completely unconscious, and she looks so peaceful. She will die, and so will he. Run! He tries to pull her from his knees, but they go nowhere. Flames suddenly appear on the wall beside him, and his night robe catches fire.

He feels the stabbing pain and the sudden heat and begins to panic. He slaps at the fire on his clothes and rolls to the ground. Pain screams through his hip and his side as flames are biting into his skin. He hears screams from everywhere. Now, the smell of the smoke is overpowered by the smell of burning hair and flesh. And if you've ever smelt burning hair, it is a horrible, horrible smell. Let's add burning flesh to that as well. It's his hair, though.

It's his flesh from above, from below, screaming from all sides as the entire abbey burns alive. He rushes to Brother Sati's room because he knows that Sati of Jalmare has the largest window. His clothes are still on fire, and he thinks of poor Sister Kona. He left her behind. He turns to go get her, but no. Open the window first, then go back and get her. From the floor, he keeps his head low and eyes closed. He tries to unlatch the window and swing it open. Fire crackles the skin of his now exposed back. The window latch is jammed. He opens his eyes enough to find a small wooden chair. Air. He just needs air. Just as he gets a grip on the chair to lift it in the air to shatter the window, the floor gives way and the room collapses.

Fire comes from above. Fire comes from below. As he falls, the phrase from the voice from beyond echoes through his head. A war is coming. And darkness takes Brother Ramius of Latria. A war is coming and darkness takes brother.

Ramius of Latria. I'm going to miss him. I know. He said it interesting. He did not live long. You were right. You can die in character creation. Did you roll poorly during writing your writing assignment?

Yes. I was like, all right, he's at the latch writing your writing assignment? Yes. I was like, all right, he's at the latch just alone in my room and I was like, son of a bitch! He had a new idea and I said,

let's write the death of the first character. And then we'll just wait and bring your other character to the set. I meant to ask you before we started, is it Ramius

and is it Latria? Yes. Oh, good. Ramius of Latria. Or Latria. Latria. When I took the note, I was moving fast and I typed the name Is it Latria? Yes. Oh, good. Ramius of Latria. Or Latria, Latria, Latria. When I took the note, I was moving fast and I typed the name and I wrote Brother Ramius of Latvia.

It sounds a little bit like it. It's only one letter difference. Can't wait to hear Joe's authentic Latvian accent. He's been practicing. I've been practicing. Let's do another one. Okay. Okay.

I've been practicing. Let's do another one. Okay. The moon hangs low over a small but bustling town. I see you all looking. It's just down the hill from a sprawling castle. Revelers out for a night of merriment stumble drunkenly down the jagged alleyways. A celebratory dance has broken out around a fire pit in one of the squares,

and the taverns and eateries are all abuzz with activity after the town's annual Midsummer Festival. Standing in a shattery doorway, watching all of this, is a slender figure wearing the drab rags of a street urchin. slender figure wearing the drab rags of a street urchin. The brim of an oversized hat flops down across two keenly attentive eyes, one emerald green, the other pale gray. The eyes dart methodically from person to person out in the crowd until they land on someone, and a wry smile appears across a smudged face. The figure darts into the crowd and slides up next to a tall, handsome young man, who at this moment looks uncomfortable and extremely nervous. He's dressed unremarkably, perhaps self-consciously so. It takes the young man a few moments to even

notice the urchin walking beside him, but when he does, he jumps and cuts. You scared the shit out of me, Talitha. The urchin smiles again and tilts back the brim of the hat to grin at the young man, and as they do, we see that it's actually a young woman in her early twenties, in disguise. The man looks at her and says,

Is that real dirt on your face? That's a bit much for you, isn't it? At least I don't look like the god's newest recruit trying to blend in. How do you get out of there without being seen? That would be telling. Another one of your mysteries, right? There are no mysteries, Elliot.

There's only what you know and what you don't. And they walk along this busy street together. Here, I like the look of this place. Maybe she inclines your head toward a tavern, And they walk along this busy street together. Here, I like the look of this place. Maybe she inclines her head toward a tavern, tucked down one of these streets, and together they go in. And inside the tavern's full of a rough and rowdy crowd.

There's laborers, soldiers, city guards shouting, hooting, drinking to excess, empty flagons piling up on the bar. The young man, Elliot,ifts about, even more uncomfortable It's like, is this where my sister hangs out When I'm not around? Oh, come on, there's salt of the earth here You wouldn't know salt of the earth

If it seasoned your soup Perhaps I know more than you think And with that, the young woman nods Over towards the far end of the bar Where a curvaceous young serving woman looks up Elliot turns to his sister in amazement You found her? the far end of the bar where a curvaceous young serving woman looks up. Elliot turns to his sister in amazement. You found her?

Everybody's somewhere. The serving woman sidles up to their table, her eyes twinkling suggestively at Elliot. Elliot looks back at his sister with an impish smile on his face. And from there maybe a little time passes and now we see Talitha,

brim of her hat, back down of her eyes, standing watch in front of a small, mostly empty stable. And behind her, we can hear audible grunts and moans. Do you want to do those? You can do it. Peanut butter and velvet. Go. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Right there. Give me a minute. Give me a minute. Give me a minute. Okay. Maybe she looks at a timepiece that she has concealed in her rags. And soon after, Elliot and this serving woman emerge, both futzing with their hair and smoothing down their clothing. The woman says to Elliot, so what now?

Back home for you? And Elliot's like, I think we have a few minutes before I need to head back. Ha! If I was you, I wouldn't want to be there either. What with that sister of yours being so sick and all. Elliot's eyes flash nervously over to Talitha, who looks away, clearly annoyed. Elliot's like, no, no, it's not that. And the woman's like, oh, I've heard the stories. Must be hard for you. Yes, hard for him.

The Serping woman turns to Talitha. What did you say? The way I hear it, she's not even sick. Seems awfully convenient, doesn't it? Sickly girl in poor health, not able to withstand a life out of doors, not safe for her. Seems like it's just a good excuse, doesn't it?

To keep her locked away so no one ever sees her. Elliot's clearly uncomfortable by this. The serving woman leans in. It's like, well, what do you mean? You gotta think a little more creatively. Sif the rumors to find the truth. Maybe she's a ghost. Maybe she's not even fully human.

Kiss of the damp ear upon her. Bite of the werebeast. That'll be quite enough, boy, Elliot says. He eyes her. Talitha clams up, furious. Of course, sir. Elliot looks back to the serving woman. And when he does, Talitha turns, stalks off towards the town gates.

And once she's outside the town walls, Talitha takes off running, running at full speed, no holds barred. The hat flies off her head, and the long red hair she'd kept tucked underneath flies out behind her. Soon enough, she stops and sits down atop a hill that looks out across the road out of town.

Not long after, Elliot trots up and sits down beside her. You didn't chase me. You always stop running on your own. What's the point? They just find me. Maybe not. Maybe one of these times you could just keep running. Disappear. Everybody's

somewhere. They sit in silence for a moment. This isn't for forever, you know. Don't. Don't. He stops himself. He knows better. We should be getting back. Talitha makes no move

to comply. Talitha. Fine, yes. Alright. But just as they both stand, Talitha's eyes light up. What's that? Elliot turns to see the old Ayudhara that sits upon a hill outside the town gates has suddenly lit up. For as long as anyone could remember, it was just a relic from a time gone by, a simple archway to nowhere. But now as they look, it crackles with energy and light. Talitha stares into it,

transfixed. Is that? Look, it's what? Oh. Oh. Together they stare into the gate, but we don't see what they see. Is it... is it real? I don't know. It can't be. Can it? We should get back. They'll notice us missing. Elliot, even if he hears, just starts walking toward the Ayodhara. Elliot, wait! She rushes after him. Elliot stands just before the gate, staring in wonder at what he sees on the other side.

Elliot! She reaches out to grab his shirt sleeve, but it's too late as Elliot steps through the gate. Elliot, wait! She hesitates. She can't let her brother go alone. Summoning her courage, she launches herself through the shimmering light as well and disappears.

But we didn't see what they saw. We didn't see what they saw. What was that? Oh, oh! Was it serious face? Or was it like, oh, awesome. It was him saying something. Perhaps what she saw.

Perhaps something different. Did it make them happy? Was it like piles of money? Or did it make them scared? Capitalist pig. It's the only thing I could imagine that you would see that would make you happy. Look at all that money. It was the shower scene from porky's

that's all he wanted in the world just watch this on youtube This is from the movie. That's all he wanted in the world, was to see the shower scene. Just watch this on YouTube. I'm exhausted. Let's do another one. Okay. We now see an elder goblin sitting cross-legged, his face illuminated by firelight. He's covered in jagged scars and missing an arm.

Harken, children, listen. Prick up your ears to the story of the stolen. In the springtime years of our people we were free. We jumped and tumbled between the trees, between the leaves. We jumped and tumbled between the trees, between the leaves. The two-talls came across the great water and did what the two-talls do. They burned, they stole, they slew. One day, their hard eyes saw the little village in the shade of the Mawasle tree.

They wanted what they saw. They trampled in with their cursed horse-beasts. They crushed and burned and broke till the grown ones all were dead or fled. Then they stole the children. Bound in sacks they came to the household where I served. The mistress of the house found our long lovely ears distasteful, and so she had them cut, clipped like sparrow wings, and thrown to barking dogs. As I watched the butchers work, I thought I saw something. A trick of the light? A dream? Perhaps something behind the eyes of the little one,

the one the mistress would come to call, Buggles. I would not breathe a word of it until I was sure. The child was quick to learn the tongue of the two talls. The mistress prized peace above all else, so he learned too to swallow his fear, his pain, his precious little joy. Seldom seen and rarely heard, the mistress thought he was a good boy and could be heard to say so.

There is none so sweet as my perfect Buggles, she would say. But no child is perfect. Perhaps he spilled some wine, perhaps he coughed or sneezed. Whatever his crime, she punished him severely. I could only stand outside and listen as she cursed and beat him again and again. Suddenly, I heard a strange low voice, the shriek of pain and a pop. Slowly, I opened the door to look. The child was trembling in the corner.

All that was left of the door to look. The child was trembling in the corner. All that was left of the mistress was blood and shredded skin. I did not see it, but he told me how it felt. An unstoppable wave of emotion crashing through the walls he had built so carefully around his heart. It crested and smashed until all about was fire.

It was then that I knew. There was no time. I took the child to the secret way, the tunnel behind the woodpile. Thank the moon it was unguarded. We ran through the gardens toward the distant forest. The hounds would find us, but not before I told him what I saw that day. Our star-tellers foretold a champion torn from his family and raised among the wicked.

He would become Siak-Yak, born of fire, and would come to bear a mark that we may know him. He would be the sole earthly vessel of the Kulu-Lukan, a force of pure vengeance so terrible it could only appear in our people's darkest hour. The name was frightening to the child. He asked what it meant, and I told him, that name means death. But the champion would have to leave the people.

He must journey from the lands of dawn to the lands of dusk and between the very stars. He must gather wisdom, power, and allies that he might return one day at the head of an army with the Ku'ulukan burning within him. I spirited him deep into the forest to find a place where that journey might begin. We happened upon the grove where stood the standing stones, a sacred place from a time before the people had words to name such things. They say the elves knew the way to make the stones come alive,

but long had they stood cold, and we were no elves. But something happened that night. As we stood there, the archway thrummed low like the beat of a drum and the gate was filled with light. Go now, I said. Do not look back.

But the child did not hear me. He was transfixed at what he saw and stepped through of his own accord into the light and he was gone. It was a very brave thing to do, I thought. The stones went dark. The hunters found me.

They made me pay in blood and flesh, he gestures with the stump of his missing arm. But I would not tell them what became of the child, only that they would never find him. the child, only that they would never find him. I sit before you as the last of the Star-Tellers. I am old, and I may not see the story's end. Perhaps you will. You must all pray each night to the moon in secret, as I have taught you. Ask for her favor, that the child will earn his name and return to the people as Siak-Yak in all his terrible glory.

That you will live to see the Kululukan unleashed and our captors turned to ash and bone. That the two Tals will know what it is to fear and that the people will know what it is to be free. Let me fade out of that scene. Nice old goblin. Yeah, that was good. That was a good old goblin. Skip would have done it way better. I don't know.

I didn't have casting power authority we tried to get but did a very good job we tried to get Steve Buscemi but he wasn't Steve Buscemi would be a great elder goblin

right god he'd be great oh my god he said no let's do another one one more one more one more

another another and then another and then another one maybe not uh now we see a wooden training dummy standing with a an expressionless look in its eyes its face and body scarred with indentations from countless beatings a wooden blade comes slicing in at its neck, and the dummy, of course, doesn't flinch. It's a dummy. Because it's a dummy. We pull back

to see a young woman fighting aggressively, relentlessly, and brashly with a blunt katana. Slice after perfect slice, maiden succession, each punctuated by martial art yells, a sensei, a sensei, a sensei, what the fuck is a sensei? Next to the sensei is a sensei who stands watching intently at the demonstration.

We pull back even further to see several students sitting on their knees watching. The young woman finishes her demonstration with one loud, followed by the sheathing of her practice weapon. She turns to bow to the dummy, then her sensei, then her fellow students. And then the sensei. And then the sensei as well. I always do the sensei last. As is tradition. As is tradition.

She bows to her fellow students, and when she does, her eyes linger on one student in particular, another young woman with somewhat elvish features and perhaps the markings of a tattoo peeking up from under her gi. The katana-wielding student goes to the sensei, bows again. The sensei returns the bow and then goes to hand her a belt. The student unties her old belt, and the sensei helps her tie on the new one. It's a very solemn ceremony. But now we see the elvish student watching this all go down, sort of transfixed by the motion of the tying of the bow. Daydreaming, perhaps, for just a moment until the teacher snaps her out of it by calling her name.

Zephyr! Zephyr then gets up to take her turn. As the first student passes her by, she very subtly shoulder checks Zephyr, who then stumbles on her way to the mat. Maybe a couple of the students giggle, and she does. Oh, man.

Zephyr finishes her bows. Sensei, sensei. Sensei? There's three of them? Somebody teaches. And then she begins her demonstration. And she starts with a series of kicks and punches at the dummies. Even though she's tall and muscular, she's quick.

Her limbs fly out effortlessly. Effortlessly. Not unlike that word. As she attacks the dummy, it's like a perfect mix of power and precision. The demonstration continues, and soon she backs up like she's coming up for the big finale. She turns to execute

a big spinning roundhouse kick at the dummy's head, but she spins too quickly and overshoots it by just a hair. She kicks right over the dummy's head, and her momentum throws her down to the ground, hard. The student that pushed her starts laughing. Several other students join in. If Zephyr didn't know better, she'd think the sensei was maybe smiling as well.

Zephyr stands up, walks to the far side of the room where a bow hangs on the wall. stands up, walks to the far side of the room where a bow hangs on the wall. She pulls it off the wall, knocks two arrows in succession, and fires them across the room. They both land one by one in the dummy's head. The laughter stops.

Zephyr throws the bow to the ground, walks over to where a backpack sits, grabs it, and walks out the a backpack sits, grabs it, and walks out the door. Wow, you should have killed the one that hip-checked your elbow-checked you. You should have murdered a child. Yes, that's right.

That's what a real hero would have done. That would have been more heroic. That's what I was going to say. Fires two shots, cut to the sensei. With two arrows. You fade out on a room full of screaming children. Dojo will never survive without a Sensi. It's the final test.

Can you kill the Sensi? That's right. It's the final exam. I think that's everybody. All right. Let's jump in. Where's the tavern? Where's the tavern?

That's all of us. It's me in it. What day's the tavern? Where's the tavern? That's all of us. It's meeting it. What day should the tavern be? I guess I'll go. I'll see myself out. I misjudged that I was on the show. I completely forgot that we hadn't done Sid yet. We've got to cut you for time.

We've got to cut you for time. We're wrapping it up. Okay. Did you not manifest us're wrapping it up. Okay. Did you not manifest us this morning? Oh, shit. You've got to manifest every morning or else we'll be cut off the show. I forgot this morning.

The one day I don't manifest. My morning aphorisms in the mirror. You are good. They will let you be on the podcast. Okay. And then I go to work. You will get a backstory. Your character voice rules. All right. We'll do yours.

This is the one I'm second most excited for. Outside of your own? Mm-hmm. I feel you, Skid. You have no idea what you're in for. Because we're going to open this one with screaming. Oh. Matthew.

Matthew. Oh, God. Ah! Ah! Oh, God! No! Help me! Ah! Why?

He's got a gun! And we fade up. I just realized we are in an office building, and we have now screamed fire, and he's got a gun. Extremely loud. Multiple times. Good thing we soundproofed the walls. Definitely determined it, at least for sure.

I just hope the cops don't come until after we finish. From the screaming, the screaming actually continues and we fade up on a desert scene at dusk. We're a raiding party of about a hundred guerrilla soldiers are tearing a small village apart. Question. Guerrilla with an O or guerrilla with a UE? UE. They're not a hundred.

You don't know. You never know. Just throwing their shit into the fire. Honestly, that is a good clarification. In this world, I was picturing guerrillas. I was like, alright. Yeah, no. A hundred guerrilla soldiers. And honestly, soldier is a gorillas. I was like, all right. Yeah, no, 100 gorilla soldiers. And honestly, soldier is a strong word. These are like teenagers with improvised weapons. And they are of all different ancestries.

We see them burning huts, slicing men through the chest, throwing women and children to the ground. Groups of them are maybe emptying out storehouses, loading up carts with all the food and supplies of the village. And amidst all of this, we see a young catfolk woman. Yes!

Yes! It's like maybe you see her silhouette at first, and then we come in and we realize this is a catfolk woman. I think we knew from the silhouette. No, but it looked like, oh, that's a human woman. No, it's an anthropomorphic cat.

And she is stealthily climbing one of the sides of the huts, which hasn't been torched yet. And she gets to the top, and she silently unsheathes two commas. On the ground below, there's a muscular man with a broadsword and he's sneaking down an alleyway. And just beyond the man with the

broadsword is what looks like the apparent leader of this group of soldiers. He's like a tribal warlord, all decked out. He's directing all this mayhem. And it's clear from what we're seeing that the warlord doesn't see this man coming or the catfolk woman. The catfolk releases the grip on her commas for but a moment to grab a scaffolding below, swing down, flipping up and

down, and slicing in an X shape, lopping off the head of the man with the broadsword. Isn't RPGs are way better without dice rolling. Yeah, they are. They just wham! You can actually succeed at the things you want to succeed at. Like Assassin's Creed style

just makes no sense. The physics make no sense, but it happens. I made a roll though to make sure the backstory was accurate. Oh, you did? Yeah. That's your style. Jnat 20. Amazing. And they were vorpal commas. First level vorpal commas. That's your style. She had not torn it. Amazing. And they were vorpal commas. First level vorpal commas. She's starting the game.

Wait a minute. Two vorpal commas. You started with two vorpal commas? No. It's a long story. I'll give you a piece. It's in my backstory. It's in my backstory. My grandfather actually gave me this.

So we see her flip down, slice, lop this guy's head off, but it's not the warlord's head. It's the head of the man that was going to kill the warlord. And the warlord turns around and sees the the head of the man that was going to kill the warlord. And the warlord turns around and sees the catfolk calmly licking the back of her paw

as she rises to wipe at the blood splattered across her face. She lifts her nose to the sky to breathe deeply and we hear a call from far away. It's a signal meant to signify that the village is lost. The warlord claps her on signify that the village is lost.

The warlord claps her on the shoulder for a job well done and goes off. Oh no! And as the village of innocence burned behind her, we only see her black fur glistening with wet, fresh blood in the firelight.

But from there, we pull back and we see this entire scene being played out in a floating gateway in the middle of an empty desert. The edges of the gateway crackle with energy, but beyond the circular edges of the gate, we only see endless desert and sky. Staring into the gate, watching the scene unfold, is that same catfolk woman. But she's older now. Her coat maybe not as thick and shiny. A hardness in her eyes as she stares at this scene play out.

But now as we come around to what she sees, we see her looking back at herself. But the self in the gate is now dressed in the garb of the warlord. She looks regal and powerful, and the reflection in the gate reaches out her hand to the catfolk woman in the real world. And the now older, much more mature catfolk woman in the real world. And the now older, much more mature catfolk reaches for the reflection's hand and walks through. Oh, man.

Well, your character sounds very nice. We've got a meanie. We have a meanie in the party. Doesn't mean she's mean. Okay. Sure she murders innocents. Sure. She wants to be a warlord. Yeah. You don't. You know her story.

Not her name. Oh yeah. You didn't put it in yours, huh? Those are the character introductions. Ooh, baby. And we're going to take a quick break and then other people are going to talk. Kinda.

Stay tuned. We'll be right back. Today's episode of the Glass Cannon podcast is brought to you by Manscaped, the best men's below the waist grooming. Downtown cleanup, as I call it. Their products are precision-engineered tools for your family jewels. Join over 8 million men worldwide who trust Manscaped

with this exclusive offer for you. 20% off and free worldwide shipping with the code GCP at manscaped.com. If my math is correct, 8 million men. That's about 16 million balls, give or take. I'm sure there's a couple weirdos with one ball. No problem.

You ever stand in the shower and you look down and you're like, what a disaster down there. Why don't I just make it look nice? Even if you have no one to show it off for, why walk around with a messy situation? Well, the Performance Package 4.0 has arrived, and oh, man, it's a messy situation. Well, the Performance Package 4.0 has arrived, and oh man, it's a game changer. Inside this package, you're going to get the Lawn Mower 4.0 trimmer. This trimmer is the

future of grooming, and dare I say, the greatest ball trimmer ever. You're also going to get the Weed Whacker ear and nose hair trimmer. I mean, I didn't realize how much of a problem this is, but especially as you get older, there's hair coming out of ears. You don't want hair sticking out of your nose. I'm on camera all the time. I got to clean this shit up. You also get the Crop Preserver Ball deodorant. You want to smell nice down there. Again, if nothing else, just for yourself, the Crop Reviver Toner, Performance Boxer Briefs, and a travel bag to hold your goodies. That Lawn Mower 4.0 trimmer is waterproof, by the way, so you can do this all in the shower.

You don't have to clean up pubic hair all over your bathroom floor. And don't sleep on the Crop Preserver Ball Deodorant and Crop Reviver Ball Toner, which will completely change the way you approach your hygiene routine. Trust me when I say this, fellas. completely change the way you approach your hygiene routine. Trust me when I say this, fellas, your balls will thank you. Get 20% off and free shipping with the code GCP at manscaped.com. That's 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com and use code GCP. Unlock your confidence and always use the right tools for the job with Manscaped.

Remember how great Saturday mornings used to be? You know, going downstairs, getting ready to watch six straight hours of cartoons, and then maybe 10 to 15 seconds of golf afterwards. And the whole time you've got your favorite sugary cereal keeping you company. I personally, me and my sister, were not allowed to have cereal with flavor growing up, so I can't relate. But now is why I'm all the happier that we're doing business here with Magic Spoon. It is a wholesome, fueling, simple, high quality, low carb, high protein cereal. It makes you think of all your childhood favorites that you loved and I envied. 13 to 14 grams of protein, 4 to 5 net carbs, zero sugar per serving. It reinvents all of your childhood favorites, and it has no sugar.

It's amazing. I love this stuff. I'm a big fan. I'm a chocolate guy, so I love the chocolate cocoa flavor. It's super crunchy. It's delicious. And I got to watch my sugar. It's not good for's delicious And I am I gotta watch my sugar

It's not good for you And this stuff is amazing You get the variety pack Four flavors are cocoa, fruity, frosted, and peanut butter The pack has zero grams of sugar Like I say, 13-14 grams of protein And 4-5 net grams of carbs Only 140 calories a serving

For breakfast cereal, what? It's high protein at zero grams of sugars, keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, and soy-free. Why don't you go to magicspoon.com slash GCP to grab a variety pack and try it today. And be sure to use our promo code GCP at checkout to save five full dollars off your order. And Magic Spoon is so confident in their product, it is backed with a 100% happiness guarantee. So if you don't like it for any reason, they'll refund your money, no questions asked. Remember, get your next delicious bowl

of high-protein cereal at magicspoon.com slash GCP and use the code GCP to save $5 off. Thank you, Magic Spoon, for sponsoring this episode. I find it ironic how difficult it is to say the word effortlessly. It's a real tongue twister. Say it fast. Effortlessly. Matthew.

Effortlessly. Kate. Effortlessly. Effortlessly. Oh! You do a shot. Effortlessly. Kate. Effortlessly. Effortlessly. Oh! You do a shot. Effortlessly. You do a shot.

Skid. This is vodka. Arfinus. There it is. Skid. High five. Nailed it. Yeah.

Yeah. Effortlessly. I also like the idea that Sidney comes to recordings with 20 ounces of neat vodka. I'll never tell. Room temp. Room temp. Wait, wait. In a plastic cup.

Like just warm. Yeah, it's like eating through the plastic. What's that shitty vodka that people bought in high school? Burnett's? Is that it? Burnett's. Burnett's? The shitty vodka I know is Georgie.

You know we all went to different high schools. Burnett's. You know we didn't went to different high schools. Burnett's. You know we didn't go to your high school. Guys, stop. Remember, in high school? When we were all in high school? Senior year? It is Burnett's.

Burnett's vodka. It's horrible. I'm pretty sure I was 13 years out of grad school when we were in high school. So our junior year. That vodka that you drank was not around. You went to grad school? I did. I did. I studied janitorial maintenance janitorial arts so that's how everybody starts in episode one right everybody

starts in episode one with some scenes scenes you know i just when i thought about how i wanted to start this i really i always love like getting a glimpse into a chunk of these people's lives so people you know see a little bit of their past. And for some of them, they had their gate moment, which we'll talk about shortly. And for some of you, not. But I think it's very important. The best way to sometimes learn about characters

is just see a little piece of them. And while you've seen each other build these characters, this is the first time you got to hear some names, perhaps, and got to see them in action, maybe a voice. So I'm excited to very soon shut up. That's something we started doing on Jade Region, by the way, in our home game. It did, yeah. Yeah.

The scenes. Yeah. And then it trickled over into Giant Slayer, and now it's sort of kind of become a hallmark for the network. And I love that, because it also, like, it let you guys just, like, instead of just writing a backstory that no one never sees the light of day. I said, go, go write something or come up with some ideas and we'll work together and and come up with something. I'll try to tie it into the adventure. Well, it's also a good icebreaker for you, I think, for the character. It's like you have something prewritten, pre-designed that you can show of your character at first to the other players at your table.

So you're like, I want them to see this, not the way I stumble into the table. That doesn't need to be the first impression of the character yeah that's not my improv yeah my clumsy exposition and then a bunch of like horrible dice right i don't talk about so we had this game and our good buddy nick lowe was in it and he had to bring in a new character and i was so excited at the conceit which was like there was going to be a battle and they were going to be on the on the ropes and his character was going to come in and save them and he just came over on a rooftop and was like and i was like all of a sudden you guys see an arrow flies out of nowhere nick rolled a hit natural one i was like the arrow goes into the ground and we continue the combat and it's like round two roll he's like natural three it's just like an arrow whizzes

past the scene god damn it they're not even gonna want to work with you like it's best to not leave it up to die rolls i think of um wicked empire when jared did our intros we did them by like improv and die rolls and it was like a scene but not pre-written and my character bick was at a bar and got into a fight with like a goblin at the bar and I couldn't have rolled worse. And it was like badass character. She was like so cool. She was an assassin and this goblin

was kicking the shit out of me. You got rolled by a goblin at a bar. That's your opening scene. And I got hurt. Like I lost hit points and I was a level one character. And I was like, well guys guys, nice to meet you. Stop hurting me. All the other player characters were like, do you need help?

And I was like, leave me alone. My other favorite is when Grant ever wrote up a new character in Delta Green and literally shot at us. Yeah. That was something he chose for himself. He just started shooting. That is so funny. I was like, I guess I shoot shoot back so we tied him up and threw him in the trunk it is funny though that joe could choose any way to introduce his character and killed him yeah that was your heroic moment he died um so i'm excited to meet the real character

he was like i know you're to kill him in episode one. Let me just, let me get. You know what? I quit. You don't fire me. I quit. You took control of the matter. I mean, let's jump into the story proper because I'm so excited.

I really, Paizo has outdone themselves with this adventure path. It's written by three of the, I think the most renowned writers in their company's history, certainly in the industry. And it really slaps the whole adventure path. And if you think you know what this is about, you're in for a treat. Okay. I don't.

I don't at all. As I said earlier, I don't even know what nation we're opening in on the planet. Like this is weird. Let's fucking go! 21 Erastus in the year 4722 AR. That would be 2022 for us, okay?

Yeah. 21 Erastus in the year 4722 AR. That was the night that would come to be known as the missing moment. Erastus would be like July to us, like right today when we're recording this. The hottest day of the year. The hottest day of the year.

Oddly enough, yes, if you're listening at home, we are recording this in late July. Erastus was named after the god Erastal, of course, the god of hunters, farmers, tradesmen. On that night, all over the world, an ancient network of magical portals called Ayudhara, appeared in some of your backstories, crudely referred to as elf gates. These Ayudhara came alive and beguiled all those nearby into stepping through.

Now, these Ayudhara have appeared all over Galarian for centuries, just simple stone arches, remnants of a time long past. And before the Night of the Missing Moment, the only way any of them could be activated was with a specific key that would open the gate to somewhere else on the material plane, kind of like a teleportation portal, basically. But most Ayudhara and their keys have been lost. So up until the night of the missing moment, only a few functional gates remained in the world. And unless you were the key bearer or knew the key bearer,

there was no way of activating them. But on the night of the missing moment, as far as the stories go, all of them in the world came alive. And anyone in the vicinity of those gates was compelled to walk through. Those who returned did so minutes later, hours later, days later, and all with no memory of what happened on the other side. And some never returned at all. So far as they're aware, one moment they were stepping into the portal, and the next, like seconds later, they were stepping back out,

only to discover that they had been gone, in fact, for minutes, hours, or in some cases, much longer. Most who did return, though, returned changed in some way. Some would return with obvious signs of distress from whatever happened to them on the other side of this gate. Maybe a scar they didn't have before. Maybe their hair was a different color or a different hue. Others would return with practically nothing to show for their trip, except for one thing every single one of these gatewalkers shared in common. A brand somewhere on their flesh, usually on the back of their neck. And all these brands are identical.

It's a brand made up of thick lines set in the skin, almost like a tattoo, depicting, almost looks like a mountaintop highlighted by four stars floating above it. In the wake of their strange,

paranormal experience, those who returned also began to manifest unexplainable supernatural powers. Telekinesis, levitation, regeneration. And as I just alluded to, these people would come to be known as Gatewalkers. The months since the night of the missing moment haven't been quiet. In the

Ustalavic town of Lepestat, a consortium of Gatewalkers have gathered under the leadership of a scientist and fellow Gatewalker by the name of Dr. Edward Riddleson. E-T-W-A-R-D Riddleson. R-T-W-A-R-D Riddleson.

R-I-T-A-L-S-O-N. Gatewalkers the world over have a burning desire to know what happened to them when they walked through that gate. And Dr. Riddleson hopes that by bringing all these paranormalists together, they can solve the mystery of what happened to them on that faded summer night. Each of you has joined this paranormal investigation group, which the doctor calls the Illuminated

Consortium of E-Pops. And for our purpose, if you Google E-Pops, it means those instructed in the ways of a secret system. So you belong to this. The Illuminated Consortium of E-Pops. So the night of the missing moment was 21 Erastus 4722. It is now 6 Abadius 4723 AR.

Abadius is like January. So it's winter. And it has been six months since the night of the missing moment. When the five of you entered the gate and stepped out, what felt like seconds later, for every single one of you, three months passed. So it felt like a second to you, but you were gone from the world for three months. And now you've been back in the world another three months

trying to make sense of all this. When you heard of Dr. Riddleson's mission, you all traveled from wherever your homelands are to Leperstadt and Ustalav to join him and have become, in his opinion, his most promising investigators. I'm so excited to be starting this adventure. So I imagine we see the five of you along with Dr. Riddleson cresting a hill atop which sits a border gate

into the city of seven arches. Imagine a low bridge that crosses a stream on the other side of the hill and just beyond that a bustling caravanserai, oddly enough. And from where you're standing the other side of the hill, and just beyond that a bustling caravanserai, oddly enough. And from where you're standing up on top of this hill,

you've got a bird's eye view of the city of Seven Arches. It's a couple miles away, and it's a city that's built at the confluence of two streams, the Windwater and Fogmorn Creek. And they meet, and they continue flowing eastward to the Salon River, which we've come to know from our live show.

And then there's an artificial waterway known merely as the canal that connects the two streams west of their natural meeting point. And what this does is it turns the city's central district into an island in the middle of the city. I imagine during your journey here, you probably recall knowledge. We'll say that Buggles and Brother Ramius, you would have learned that long ago, elves dwelled in the verdant forests of Seven Arches, and it's believed they built these stone arches that give the region and its

eponymous capital city their name. Well, time has passed, and the elves are no longer around, and Seven Arches is overseen by a group of druids known as Oak Stewards. These are enigmatic druids who prohibit elves from entering the kingdom's borders, and this ostensibly has to do with something known as the Obnubulate Curse. This is a mysterious affliction that kills any elf who dares to go near one of the seven arches that gives the city its name. However, in the wake of the missing moment,

rumor has it that the curse has been lifted, as several elves have reported sneaking into the city and returning with no ill effects now Zephyr and your character, we don't know their name yet and Talitha

beyond its strict ban against elves, which all of you knew, you've heard very little of the river kingdom of Seven Arches. So if we're seeing this hill and we're seeing each of you come up one by one, I think this is a perfect time to have you introduce what they look like, their name, whatever you want to tell us about this. And for the first time in an episode one of our shows,

I will reveal the art of the character. Yes! Done! Yes! Yes! Just give Yes! Yes! Just give me 45 minutes to figure out how to do that. No. I want you guys to decide amongst yourselves

who wants to describe themselves first. We'll say they're all stepping above this hill one by one. Not me. Sydney? Do you want me to go first? Well, we don't know your name. We don't know your name. I will go first.

I'm so nervous. Okay. Okay. So you see cresting this hill. Again, you saw it in the flashback, this silhouette of a slender, short, four- eight cat folk woman. And she's wearing like this kind of coppery breast plate. She has almost like scarves wrapped around her legs and her arms that are then banded with more like kind of copper plating. It's kind of like puffy, a little flowy, very inspired by Dune in, like, setting

for where she lived, but not in the wardrobe from the film. More inspired by, like, Aladdin for the wardrobe that she kind of has on. She has almost a belt that is beads and, like, bells. Like, it's jangly. And she has

her commas are no more. That was in her past. She has a kopesh and a wakizashi in her back. Exotic. In her back? Like in her back. And then she falls

face first. And my new character. That is where wakizashi would be found. Sticking from the holsters, her sheets in her back. And she is a catfolk woman. She has black fur, piercings up her catfolk pointed ears. She has, like, white, though, around her eyes, her cat markings. She has almost this, like, white eyeliner around her eyes, making her yellow eyes just, like, pop out at you when you see her up close she's she's a little like hard to look at like very angular um like joe

yeah not the angular part my white eyeliner not the angular part so rude and uh i'm more of a curvy server. She's very used to walking in sand. So hiking up this more like almost wooded, I assume it's like wooded green. That's not a tree in sight. What's the topography? I'm kidding. It's the river kingdoms. Oh, it's winter?

This is a clearing that you're coming up on, but yeah, this tree's around for sure. No, he said it's July. He said it's January. It's January. Oh, it's January. Is there snowing now? Good retaking. It's cold and it's snowed recently. It's January. Oh, it's January. Is there snow in there? It's cold and it's snowed recently. It's the River Kingdoms, right?

Yeah. So it's like pretty far north. Okay, so she has like a scarf on too. So it's a blizzard. You can barely see fighting her way through three feet of snow. The audience can see her. This got very different in my mind. But none of you can.

And because she's a cat, she's walking on top of that light, crunchy snow. You know, she's a cat She's walking on top of that light Crunchy snow you know she's not Sinking in It's funny because she's used to walking in sand And also presumably going to the bathroom in it She just looks around at this snow field And is like where am I going to pee I want to be clear it's not a lot of snow

She doesn't fall through the four feet of snow Let's take a look at her here Pull her up She doesn't fall through the four feet of snow. Let's take a look at her here. Pull her up. That's amazing. Oh, come on. And her name, I took this. I had fun with her name.

Her name is Dara Dolasar. But most people call her Lucky because they have a really hard time with the catfolk tongue. And she's over telling people how to pronounce her name. So she goes by Lucky. And I actually took from Skyrim from the Khajiit, like, etymology of names. They have different sort of bits of names that are combined together to make full names, which I like, I think, in, like, her catfolk village.

So Darrow means nimble-fingered. Doe means master of martial arts. La means unmarried. And Sa is the part of her name she got when she turned into an adult female catfolk. So things can be, like like added on to her name and she's she doesn't go by it as much though which could could refer to her familial background and stuff but she's like yeah call me lucky so rad this art is unbelievable really really really

good as each character is introduced i will add them to your uh foundry uh actors section there you should be able to see oh yeah i see, I see. Okay, whenever you want. Darrow Dolassa. Okay. Matthew, you want to come up over this hill? Sure. This crusty old hill? You see this slender woman again.

She has one gray eye, one emerald green eye, medium length red hair kind of tied up in a sort of messy bun. And she kind of carries herself very, she's not very tall, but she carries herself very tall. She's got kind of round glasses and pretty much a knowing smirk on her face a lot of the time.

But she's got a very intense gaze. And she's dressed in black trousers and black calf-length boots and a long, flowing, but very nicely tailored black coat with lots of pockets. And she carries an umbrella. Oh, let's see her.

Her name is... Oh, my God. Oh, come on. Oh, no. Get out of town. Oh, my gosh. She's perfect. Man, how can you see that and not...

Yeah. You immediately are like, investigator. Yes. Absolutely. You look at it, that's amazing. I immediately are like, investigator. Like, second. Absolutely. You look at it. That's amazing. I'm immediately Nicole Kidman. Oh.

Yeah. Actually, the reference point for the art was Gillian Anderson. Oh, amazing. Oh, awesome. I can see that, too. Yeah. She's an investigator of the paranormal as well. Yeah.

Funny you should mention that. Not in real life. Talitha Breakwater, everyone. Talitha Breakwater. Breakwater. What a name. That, everyone. Talitha Breakwater. Great name. That's great. So very rad. Kate, you want to come up over this hill and join us?

Okay. So you see a young, tall, pretty slim half-elf. And she's got more human features than elf features. The points of her ears, it's not... It's very slight. You can barely tell. But she's got long, dark hair. She's got a full sleeve of tattoos that are like...

What are those? Those mathematical shape names? Fractals? Geometric shapes? Square? Triangles? Parallelogram. Circle. Rhombus. Sacred geometry.

Type of tattooing on her arm. Just gonna google sacred geometry. She's got like these burnt umber orange hand wraps. She has a long bow. And yeah. She comes over the hill this shit oh my god she's way too cool i'm

intimidated to play her oh my god was it you that emailed me like i'm so intimidated by the character she's so fucking cool super cool i have to see myself out of this party I can't hang These people are too cool That's so awesome We got quite the girl gang I know Oh my gosh

Girl gang Girl gang Girl power We're like all kind of similar in age too Best friends Best friends Besties Besties

Oh no Oh no Poor brother Ramius is gonna be on the outside of this. Click. Speaking of Brother Ramius, do you want to see this, dude? Yeah, yeah. So coming up behind and obviously a little bit slower than the younger and more sprightly on their feet ladies. Brother Ramius, you can see that it begins to come over the hill because the first thing that

you see is books. You see these books first and then his head shortly after, as he's lumbering up over the hill, older than we saw him in the flashback, late thirties maybe, and frail, grayish of skin, almost sickly looking in the winter he's it doesn't matter he's still kind of like has sweat along his brow as he's hefting up this hill and

on his back he's got a backpack and it's just filled with books and there are books like on the outside of it as well tied to straps books that hang from the side, books that are easily retrievable on leather straps. I want that bag. Yeah, it's a badass bag. I can't imagine how heavy. It's extremely heavy, especially for a guy with very, very low strength. But this is his faith. And he comes up this hill and overlooks seven arches.

He wears a gray robe that I would imagine right now he's got the hood pulled up over. A heavy, thick cotton robe that would protect him from the cold. But his feet still just have sandals on them, despite the weather. He has thinning brown hair with a balding pate at the top and has a just sort of a sadness in his eyes, but also a kindness at the same time. And he walks up over the hill behind you all and is just trying to keep pace. So, yeah. Might be my favorite piece of art we've ever had oh

i definitely want this bag it holds the books up for you as you walk yep and you can just drop if you need to and they hang by your side. Oh, he's magically lifting them. Yeah, right now, in that moment. Yeah. This is so cool. Magically lifting them. Yeah. It's an amazing piece of art, so thank you so much to the artist.

Yeah, shout out to Matt Forsythe, friend of the pod, friend of the nash. He's an unbelievable artist. Unbelievable. You would also see the medallion hanging around the center. It's a wooden, simple, light medallion, but it's rather large and has four books, one to the north, east, west and south that all kind of point are opened and pointing in toward each other. And it is the holy symbol of Gruhastha, the keeper, which I mentioned in character creation, who is a deity of Voodranee deity of enlightenment and education and learning. So books are very, very important to him. And you might notice that some of the books still to this day have like burnt edges,

some of them, around the outside. Don't fear the keeper. Skid, introduce us to your character, please. So bringing up the rear, you see cresting the hill, sort of waddling, is this little three foot five goblin. He's wearing buckskin leggings and this brocaded silk burgundy vest that's like was super fancy at one point but looks like it's been almost worn through in some places.

He's wearing footwear that's like also made out of leather and it's like stitched in with all of these like colorful beads like all over it. And he's wearing this oiled blue black leather cloak over him that covers almost his entire face.

He almost looks like a Jawa or one of those little wizard things from Final Fantasy. And, yeah, and he's just waddling. You see this little sort of thin-lipped, determined smile as he comes over the hill, just kind of waddling behind his other his colleagues and here he is oh my gosh kate did you just say i love him i want to pick him up

oh beautiful he's just like holding his own wrist Oh my god. Oh. Beautiful. He's just like holding his own wrist. His own little hand. Oh my god. So good. How old is he? How old is he? He's 12. Is that young or old?

Adult. Oh, he's an adult. That's a young adult. Okay. Yeah. Like equivalent of 18 for a human. Oh, okay. So he's young.

He's young. He's very young. We're all young, except for Brother Ramius. Yeah. Yeah. Who also isn't very old. He's in his. We're all young, except for Brother Ramius. Yeah. Who also isn't very old. He's in his 30s. But yeah, comparatively.

Ancient. Yeah, he would seem ancient to the rest of the crew. Wait, your character, 20s? Like 24. Okay. Yeah. I didn't realize the young part. She's 25, which is about 24 in human years.

Awesome. Well, there you all come, up over the hill with Dr. Riddleson. Brother Ramius. Oh, Dr. Riddleson's with us. He's with you, yeah. Brother Ramius, Buggles, Lucky, Talitha, and Zephyr, amazing names, crest the hill with Dr. Riddleson. And he reaches the top, maybe he's a little bit out of breath, and he sighs and uses a black handkerchief to mop sweat from his age-spotted forehead. And he says, I fear this is as far as I accompany you.

I have matters to attend to, Father East. And he looks at each of you and smiles fondly. He says, I have no doubt you can handle this investigation yourselves. Of all my field researchers, I believe you show the greatest promise for uncovering the secrets of this hidden yourselves. Of all my field researchers, I believe you show the greatest promise for uncovering the secrets of this hidden world. Now, I need not remind you of the importance of your mission. And he points to the runes

emblazoned across his throat. It'd be like, is that Eastern Promise with Viggo Mortensen? Oh, yeah. Obviously, it doesn't have the Russian gang symbol, but he shows you like this, and it's the same. I've got to fight him naked in a back house. That's episode two.

He shows you that, and it's the mark that all of you have as well. It might not be on your throat. It might be on your neck, the back of your neck, whatever. And he says, three months ago, we embarked upon a mystery. All across the world, these elven teleportation gates, these Ayudhara, burst with light and lured people like us in with visions of our greatest desires. We, gatewalkers, as they call us,

may have returned from the sojourn bearing fascinating new abilities. We all, however, remain ignorant of what befell us on the other side of those doorways, how we came to be marked with this unknown sign, or what may have happened to those who did not return. He laughs to himself. Like in every university and seminary, scholars are ransacking their libraries to understand this missing moment. Yet I believe that we, that you, will succeed where they all fail.

For our quest into the paranormal is not merely academic. It's personal. Toward that end, I give you my most promising lead. Seven arches. In the cities right there, you see it. For centuries, any elf who approached the city's infamous seven arches has been subject

to a terrible curse. Yet on the night of the missing moment, the curse was somehow lifted. We need to know why. Unlike most of the world, seven arches was known to have active Ayudhara in place before that fateful night, so they no doubt hold some of the answers we seek,

and moreover present a prime research opportunity to study the portals in person. And that is where you come in. To help, I've arranged for you to meet with an old associate of mine by the name of Fayanara Karalestri. She claims to have crucial information about the archers. Ah, yes, I believe that's her. He looks off into the distance towards the caravanserai. Yes, I believe that's her making her way to us now. And he points towards the caravanserai, which is like beyond the stream and the little bridge.

And you see a female, what looks like a wood elf, wearing traveling leathers and a backpack, overflowing with scrolls, waves from the edge of the caravanserai, and starts to make her way up the hill. He says, I will leave you in her very capable hands. Before she aids us, you will need to help her in her research. That's part of the deal, you could say, that I made with her.

Now, before I take my leave, do you have any questions that I can answer? No? Good. Oh, it's you, ladies! When we are done, where should we find you? How may we contact you? That's a good question. Well, I suppose if you can find a secure way to get a message to me, that would be grand. Otherwise,

we'll have to wait until both of our investigations have concluded, and we'll meet back in Leperstadt. We don't want anyone to intercept a message and steal our thunder. The thunder of our discovery, as it were. What about the other research assistants?

What are they doing during this time? They have their own projects they're working on. You're my only field agents right now. They're mostly poring over tomes, trying to find out if other places, like Seven Arches, with which they could study. You know, I'm sure they, in time, they will be ready to go out as well.

But right now, you have proved to be the most ready. How discreet should we be in our investigation? Very. The Oak stewards are not to be trifled with. They are a peaceful people, but we cannot go in there weapons blazing to try and find out information. This is an academic research mission, but Fionara will know more of the happenings here, though I doubt she has ever set foot in the city as she is an elf. Okay. Is that what Bungle says?

No, no. I think we want to maximize the amount of awkward silence before he leaves. You're doing a wonderful job. Good luck on your mission, Dr. Riddleson. Oh, thank you. I'm sad to leave you, but I'm heading to a city called Uringen.

It's a city that's famous for half of it disappearing and reappearing at random intervals. It's been happening for decades, so it's perhaps unrelated to our present matter, but worth investigating all the same. You would ask me if we have information to share, send it back to Leperstadt. Don't bother sending it to Eurogen. I don't want it to get in the wrong hands. I don't know how long I'll be there, but when your research concludes and mine, we will meet back in Ustalav. Very well. Great. No other questions about anything.

This will be your last chance to talk to me, ever. What's your middle name? You know, I don't normally say this. It's, uh, Rufus. Edward Rufus Rittleson. Both my grandfathers were named Rufus. Edward Rufus Rittleson. Both my grandfathers were named Rufus. Ah.

Yes. That's very interesting. Can you tell us more about the oak stewards? My grandfathers? The oak stewards. And should I hide my ears? Yes. Okay, you should. You would not be allowed past the city gates, I believe. I'm sure Fionara can instruct you on the best course of action.

But yes, you would not be welcome there. For your own safety. They mean no harm. They're actually keeping elves out to protect the elves, because up until then, this obnubilate curse would do horrible things to them. It's a terrible affliction, actually. Clearly magical in nature.

From my understanding, first you fall unconscious, then you shrivel up, you lose your memory, and eventually just dissolve into ash. But thankfully, it only affects elves. I mean no disrespect. It doesn't make it any less tragic that it's only elves. Oh, my God. I forgot that you were here.

We all share a glance amongst each other. Dr. Wilson is kind of racist. It only happens to filthy elves. Sorry. Nothing to worry about. I've been with you for so long, I never... The oak stewards, though. Yes.

What can you tell us of them? I don't know much, honestly. Fionara could tell you more, but they are the guardians of here. I mean, long ago, this land would have belonged to the elves. But they came in when the elves left and have made it their home. The river kingdoms are full of druids such as these,

but they are the protectors of these seven archers. And as I said, they are peaceful, but they are sort of set in their ways. And I believe that this problem with the Obnubular Curse has caused a lot of friction between them and the elves. Obviously, but their hearts are in the right place. They're trying to protect them from

shriveling up and dying. And there have been no cases of an elf shriveling up and dying since the missing moment. Since the night of the missing moment, yes. The rumors are that elves have snuck in and come out with no ill effects, and up until the night of the missing moment, that would never be the case.

Oh, they're only rumors. Indeed, I don't believe you would knowingly send Zephyr into such danger without knowing for sure she would not be hurt. I mean, it's really the only way to find out if she dies. It was a bad idea. There's probably other ways to find out. No, he's right.

This is probably the only way. The only way, literally the only way. That doesn't make any sense. It's like a witch trial or something. You said you were a doctor. I say we push Fionara in first. Oh, yes, let's put Goody Proctor in the pond, see if she drowns.

As a doctor, we only learn things through trial and error. So if your friend shrivels and dies, then we know we shouldn't have done that. Is Fionara on the level? Is she one of us? Oh, yes, Fionnara. And he kind of smiles to himself. He's like, she's an old traveling companion of mine from back in the day.

And yes, we both sort of settled down into our studies, took different paths. She's a fine scholar. What's your relationship physical at any point? That's very important. Forgive me, Dr. Riddleson. You did not answer Lucky's question Is she one of us? Appropriate

Oh here she is I gotta show you a picture of Dr. Riddleson Pretty intense The tone of this conversation I withdraw my question Any more questions about the Omnibus? No sorry please Please leave us.

No, it's all right. I actually do want to know, is Fionnara a gatewalker? That's what I was asking. No, she is not. Oh, okay. She is not a gatewalker. She is just a part of the people here, and he trusts her. Clearly, it seems like.

Darrow shows a long canine fang. Buggles seemed to sort of pick up there. Maybe there'd been a little something else there, but he trusts her. And you trust him implicitly. He's the only one that corralled people such as yourself together to try and figure this out, whereas most people just sit in the library trying to figure it out. He's actively trying to help. Of course, everybody came back with different things that have happened to them, and you could say this was not how he looked. I was going to ask, are the bulging purple veins across his bald head a pre-missing moment?

That's a new development. And the purple eyes, new as well? Very, very intense. The intensity was there but not the other stuff. The purple lines, yeah, those are all new. Dr. Riddleston. Ah!

I didn't see you standing there. Dr. Riddleston. Ah! I didn't see you standing there. Dr. Riddleston. Yes. Despite your horrifying visage and clear hatred for the elves. Your skin's gray. I, for one, appreciate all you've done to bring us together. We were toiling in the dark for a long time. were toiling in the dark for a long time and

I am heartened to see such strong companions help on this quest to find not only what happened to us but perhaps find those who never returned yes it is my hope that

as much as we'd like to recover knowledge about what happened to us there are just as many if not not more, that never returned. Are they still out there? And where is out there? It is a just way to think about this. You see Talitha kind of like bristle when you say that. Do you presume that we are investigating within the city itself, speaking with the Oak stewards and others that live in proximity to the archers?

Or do you presume that we are passing through the archers themselves? To be honest, I presume nothing. I will leave Fionara to tell you the best course of action. As I mentioned, you will need to aid her in sort of the quid pro quo deal that I've made with her. You help her, she helps us with information and she will lead you. Understood. Thank you.

You're welcome. Sorry, I got caught up in this. So now we know Dr. Riddleson. This appearance wasn't all that changed He's got a smoldering look It's quite attractive Ah, here she is now

Buggles comes up to the doctor and says, thank you doctor And he just hugs his leg Oh my gosh, it's adorable Kate is barely containing himself Sydney loves it. Darrow doesn't give a shit about it. He strokes your head, his hand going over your clipped ears, right? Yeah, that's the other thing.

He doesn't have the goblin ears. He's like, oh, please, the thanks is all mine. We are all in this together. Good luck. And he sees Fionara, and he approaches her with a big smile, and they embrace. It lingers for a little bit. There's clearly a familiarity there between them. Maybe even...

He knew it. I knew it. I knew it. You know when you hug, and then you come back, and you hold the elbows of the other person? They're doing that. And then you start kissing them. But they're on good terms. You start kissing their elbows.

You know when they hug, and then they start Frenching? It's really uncomfortable. They start making out. But they're on good terms. You start kissing their elves. You know when they hug and then they start Frenching? It's really uncomfortable. They start making out. Frenching. You know that? The traditional elven greeting of just making out. See an old buddy from college. You start necking.

That is not what we do. That's not what you do. I've never done that. It's just been so long since we've seen each other. No. Never done that. No. Period.

I swore I read that in a book. Wait, what? How long has it been? What? Never been kissed. Here's a fine art. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wait. She's got some glowing orange eyes. We thought we looked cool. Everybody looks insane.

I'm going to need you to reboot, like, every one of your descriptions of the NPCs before you show the arc. Not what I was picturing when she went like this from the Caravan Drive. She's got a bag full of books. I was picturing another nerd. I wasn't picturing an Overwatch character.

Sorry, but she's hot. I will definitely do whatever she tells me. I definitely will engage in the traditional Elvin greeting of a full makeup. Okay, definitely do whatever she tells me. Yeah. I definitely will engage in the traditional Elvin greeting of a full makeup. Yeah. Okay, bye, Dr. Middleton.

Come here. Come. Let me say hi. Grasp her elbows. And so they realize that maybe they're making out a little too long. No, they're staring

at each other's eyes a little too long and he's like, anyway, this is Fayanara. She knows this area better than any and is a far greater scholar than I ever will be

and she's like oh you flatter me Doc Eddie and he says anyhow I will be on my way please help her in any way she needs and she will return the favor and he clasps each of your hands reaching down to Buggles.

Good luck, investigators. Thank you, Doctor. Thank you, Doctor. And off he goes. Walks sort of in another direction, away from the caravanserai, across the brook, and down waves.

Have we ever, have we been apart from him? I imagine like maybe a little bit for investigations here and there, but maybe since he's gathered us, I can't imagine spending a lot of time apart from him. Six months from the missing moment, three months since you returned. Let's say it took you a

month to decide, hey, we should join this consortium of Illuminated Epops. So you've probably been spending about two months or so, one to two months in his house. That's like summer camp. Yeah, and you would have had to have been around each other. You know each other really well. That's like summer camp.

Yeah. And you would have had to been around each other for a bit because if he decided that you were the best ones, you didn't show up a day ago. And he's like, and you're the best one too. Come on. Like you've been hanging out. He knows he'd been watching your research and he trusts you enough to give

you his most promisingly. So he leaves. She watches him walk away and she's just very wistful. She's like, ah, Dr. D, he's still a bit of a cracked nut, isn't he? But he's a brilliant theorist. How long have you been working with him? Two months.

Three days. I need to know the exact amount of time. Two months. 57 days. Two months. 57 days. One day and I suppose 16 hours? So around two months 57 days one day and I suppose 16 hours so around two months

good well as I told Doc Etty I have some information that I think will prove useful to this investigation that he mentioned but if you want it I do need help with my own research first and honestly it may help you in what you search for

I'm sorry you're deliberately withholding information important information and honestly it may help you in what you search for. I'm sorry. Yes. You're deliberately withholding information, important information. Yes and no. It's sort of the deal that I made with Docketty. As you see, I cannot enter the City of Seven Arches. Now I know that the curse has been lifted, but still I do not trust it. And so I need people to help me.

And trust me when I say this information will invariably help you but i mean is it safe for our friends there seems to be some question yeah is the deal going to be for me walking through for you is this up to code dr whittleston yes mentioned that you've never set foot in Seven Arches, so how do you know that it's safe for a fellow elf? To be honest, I'm not especially keen to test the rumor about the curse suddenly lifting, nor the uptick in these attacks from Gorgas. Are you familiar with Gorgas?

What's a Gorga? It's monstrous, shadow-eyed, fey creatures. What can I say? I'm a reader and a writer, not an adventurer. But I have every reason to believe the curse may very well be lifted. And we're supposed to offer up

our friend as a test? Ultimately, that is your choice. Though I do understand why you would be worried. What if it's okay with me because I'm a half-elf, and then we say, all good, and then it's not? That may hold up. That may hold up. But I will be honest with you, up until the night of the missing moment, half-elves suffered the same fate as any elves who got close to the archers. So...

Is there any cure for the condition? To my knowledge, no. It acts too fast. I leave it to you. No cure for being turned to ash, you say? No. No. It is most unfortunate. But if the rumors are true, you should be fine.

There are some within the Caravanserai that claimed elves and have elves to have gone in and come out since the night. They did not fear the obnubulent curse. But I leave it to you to decide whether or not you think it's worth risking. Can you point us out to one of them so we can talk to one of them? Absolutely. We will pass the caravan, sir. I could let you speak to one of them. As we're walking in that direction, tell me more about these Gorgas. It's just there are many Fae that live in the River Kingdoms, and Gorgas, it's not out of the ordinary for them to attack at night.

But there has been a lot of attacks from these creatures as of late, and we do not know why, whether it's related to what's going on or not. I know not. But I mention it to say that, you know, figuring out what's happening here is of the utmost importance,

because if it is related, it would be nice to be able to sleep soundly without worrying about these horrible shadow beasts. Let me tell you this theory that I would like to test. Seven Arches is supposedly named for this cluster of seven Ayudhara in the middle of the city. Well, I have been going through old records, and I've reason to believe that those arches are fake. Decoys to draw attention away from the real arches. But if I want to publish my findings, I need proof. And she reaches into her bag and pulls out this foot-long glass tube

with a cluster of hollow bulbs at the end. It almost looks like a mace, but it's made out of glass. She says, this is an aura recorder that I have keyed specifically to Ayodhara. When you pass it through an Ayodhara, it will record the gate's magical signature. I would like you to go to the town center and then use this to read the aura of one of the gates there. If I'm right, this will prove

that the aura of the supposed seven arches is all wrong for true Ayodhara. Now, I have never been there, so I cannot give many more details about the locale. You may speak to this elf when we reach the Caravan Sarai, but either way, you should take some time to learn things before you go stampeding up to the Seven Arches.

I know they are a popular attraction, but non-residents are kept at a safe distance by alarmed barriers and guards, and with these recent disturbances, I'm sure they have doubled the patrols. What are each of your skills? You'll be fine. I'm just nodding.

It's so great when we don't have a leader to the party. It's so cute. We have a very incentive skills. Explain we don't have a leader to the party. It's so cute. We have a varied set of skills. Explain. We each have a very special set of skills that we bring. In combination, we are a team not to be trifled with. I can't think of a better way for you to have collectively answered my question. When I said, what are each of your skills?

I have a very particular set of skills. Ah, yes. She's a cat. Stop pooping in the snow. I don't know if you noticed. I'm a cat. I did not.

No, she says she unsheathes her wakizashi and her kopesh and she she kind of like spins them in a cool form. It looks cool. Ah, a dancer. Sheathes them again. She goes, no, I'm not a dancer. I'm a fighter.

Good, good. That will come in handy, though I should say you should be discreet. We do not need to shed the blood of the Oak stewards in finding this information out. The more discreet you are, the better. They do not take kindly to strangers disrupting their way of life. You will need to do this

stealthily. I'm excellent at that, too, Darrow says. Did Dr. Riddles not explain discretion is our specialty? He did not, but I am relieved to know that. We're incredibly silent. Good. Bagels, control the volume of your voice.

I'm sorry. I'm working on it. Well, how you ultimately choose to handle this, what your skills are, isn't really my concern. However, just be careful. There's no need for bloodshed. Now, you. I'm sure you pass in many cities as human, but that will not be the case here. I have obtained several disguise kits with certain cosmetics.

I would suggest, should you decide to go with your companions, in that you change your appearance. And if any of you are known in the area or wish to remain anonymous, I have plenty of kits here for you to do the same. It is your choice. Who wants a Halloween mask? Me. All right, here, you take one.

I take one that looks like a cat. Okay, awkward. Talitha will take one take one. Anyone? I take one that looks like a cat. Okay, awkward. Talitha, we'll take one as well. There you are. Madam? No, thank you. I will go as I am. Do you have Aquaman?

Let me check. I do not. Mighty Mouse? No. Whatever you have left. I actually ran out. I don't know what I was looking through. Good luck. Thank you. You make an excellent Mighty Mouse. I actually read out. I don't know what I was looking through. Good luck.

Thank you. You make an excellent Mighty Mouse. I think so. Another question. Yes. The magical stick, which you wish us to pass through. The aura recorder. Do you believe one pass through a single gate will

suffice, or must it pass through all of them? I believe one gate should suffice. If one it pass through all of them? I believe one gate should suffice. If one is a decoy, I would believe all of them are. How long does the test take? A second, or must it spend time through the gate? Probably six to 18 seconds,

if I were to just guess. Please stop doing that. We're just practicing. We're practicing. This is not the formation that I seem. I would move it like this if it was me. Yeah, if it was me, I'd do like this. Six to 18 seconds, huh? Yes, so practically one D3 round.

Six to 18. Okay, got to go really slow. It seems like you're ready to do this. Do you have any contacts within the city that we may call upon Do this and we will discuss further Can I roll some sort of Perception or society Check to see like

What's she holding back Sense a little mode I want to do that as well Should I roll what do you think society or perception Perception First dice roll First one of the pack as well. Okay, you guys roll it. What do you think? Society or perception? Perception. First dice roll. First one on the pad! First one!

15 perception. Okay. 22 perception. I got a 21. Okay. Yeah, you honestly believe that she is not using you. She just wants to... This is the deal. It is not strange to trade in information. Yes. But she's not using you. She just, she wants to, this is the deal. It is not strange to trade in information. Yes.

But she's not holding anything back as far as we can tell. Well, she told us straight up that she was. It doesn't seem like she's holding anything back that would be information. Yeah. She's just keeping her cards close to her vest. All right. Here is that elf. This is Felwynn.

Felwynn, would you... They're nervous about the whole obnubulant curse and whatnot. Could you assuage their fears? And Felwynn says, Yes, of course. Who is... Ah, you must be the most worried right here, yes

I went there with a couple of my friends the other night and we're all still alive and we went right up to the city center to test it so how did you get close the gates are in the city center yes, yes, how did you get close? The gates are in the city center.

Yes, yes. How did you get close? We disguised ears, obviously, and I wore a funny nose. And we went to the taverns, because we never get to go to the taverns. And we've heard that they're some of the best in all of the river kingdoms. And so my friends and I, we just turned 21. How old are you? We heard it was a really good boss.

And so we went and then we had a couple too many espresso martinis. And we were all jazzed up and said, let's go check out the arches. And if we die, we die. This was a girl's night. It was a girl's night. And we did. And we were falling in the street laughing. But luckily, the Orcs stewards did not see us.

And we walked right up to the sort of rope that they have around there. And they said, hey, here you go, you drunk kids. And we said, sorry, sorry. We stuck our noses up at them. But no one died. No one turned to ash. And this was two nights ago. Before that time, I've heard stories of ancestors of mine that walked in and never came out.

So I think you'll be fine. And you should totally go to this bar. You'll have to get the espresso. You'll have to get the espresso. It's single-origin coffee. No. No. No.

origin coffee. No. No. What can you tell us about the Oak Steward's guard routine procedure? Their vibe. Their vibe. There were two there the night we went, standing guard.

It was night, but in times past, I don't think there would even be a guard there, but with all of this stuff that's gone on as of late, they're more protective, and they just stand there. I say guard or guard? Guard. Guard.

And the archers themselves are roped off. Yes, it's just a simple rope around it, but they told us to get out of here, and we did. Is there any kind of patrol in addition to the two guards? We did not see any, but we were drunk. I see. I don't know how much we can trust. What was the name of the bar?

Her information. Patsies. Patsies. Patsies. And Talitha is like, she knows what to text. It's a franchise. I've been to. It's not that cool. It's a franchise. Spent a week not this one. It's not that cool.

It's a franchise. Spent a week there one night. Goodbye, Fayanara. And Felwyn goes back to the caravanserai. Great. It's bustling. It's huge. It's probably like 50 tents there. What time of day is it?

Right now, it's late afternoon. Okay. So a drunk girl said that everything's going to be fine. And we can just walk up to the gates. Yeah. No red flags there. Awesome. Perhaps being drunk just walk up to the gates. Yeah, no red flags there. Awesome. Perhaps being drunk is the key to staying well. It's not a bad

idea. Perhaps if we conceal ourselves or disguise ourselves as revelers and go, we can avoid the outward suspicion of the town guard. Oh, yes. I've never had a drink. I'm curious to try. Oh, my young friend. Are you serious? We're going to dress up as gagg as a gaggling crew on a birthday?

Yeah, a bachelorette party. Get these espresso martinis? Yeah. And one of us perhaps can slip in and test the aura, while the other of us can create a diversion and keep an eye out for the guard. Ramius, do you imbibe?

I do not, and I'm afraid I would not fit so well in your scheme. I think we'd be found out rather quickly. However, perhaps I am a teacher, and you my students. I am your what's the word? Chaperone.

Sensei. For the evening. And I just sort of keep my distance, and you go do your thing. You may also know, if we've been around each other, like, Zephyr doesn't either. Drink. You don't drink either? Talitha drinks quite a bit. Okay.

Lucky. Actually, drinking is not required, but pretending to do so is just as good. Forgive me, Brother Amius, you don't strike me as the deceptive type. I'm not, no, but it's not for me. As I said, I will appear sober the entire time. I'd like to try one. We'll make it happen, my friend. You should.

It is an experience. It looks fun. Do you need me anymore? No, my friend. You should. It is an experience. It looks fun. Do you need me anymore? No, go away. No, go away. No, go away. No, no. I'm done with you.

Please. Good luck and to you. I do hope that the rumors are true. If not, it's really nice meeting you. She doesn't say that. Oh, I was going to ask. Whoa. She's really nice meeting you. She doesn't say that. Oh, I was thinking that. What? Whoa.

She's really cool. You picking up on a vibe there? Yeah. What's happening here? Good luck. And I will be here. Or should we meet you here in the Caravan? I said I will be in the Caravan.

So I just asked for Vianara. And they'll lead you to my camp. Who's they? Anyone here. We're all friends. So we're supposed to find a random drunk girl and ask to find Fianara down there. It doesn't have to be a drunk girl. You could ask literally anyone

here that looks reputable and they will lead you to me. They all know of Fianara. Who is holding the recorder? Who's the stealthiest among us? I thought I was way more stealthy. I only have a plus two. I'm really good at thieving I only have a plus two. I'm really good at thieving.

I have a plus seven. You win. You beat my plus five. Awesome, because I don't think Zephyr would be good at pretending to be drunk. You don't know until you try. You don't have to pretend. That's the other option. We're going to force you to drink. Shots, shots, shots.

Alright, so I think Talitha would like to disguise herself. Obviously, she doesn't have to conceal any kind of elf heritage, but she would like to kind of alter her appearances a little bit in case of things. Yes. I want a false nose. He got excited at the idea of the false nose. Okay. I give you a clown nose.

Yeah, puts one on. I think Lucky paints her fur. She can't change that she's a cat folk, but I think Lucky Paints her fur She can't change That she's a cat folk But I think Instead of being black fur She paints it to be Like a rust orange

Just looks like A different cat folk Oh fun And Talitha will dye Her red hair Black With like Powder it

We help each other I dye your hair You paint You paint my back I comb it in I comb it into your fur And you notice that Lucky has

Her mark Is like On her stomach. It's almost like a stomach tattoo. Oh, her gate walker? Yeah. So when you help her paint her fur, it's just like her hair is gone. It's like a brand almost. You notice when you're working on Deletha's hair, it's on the back of her neck.

She taps it. So your hair didn't grow back on your stomach? No. Didn't grow back. Cool. Very cool. Would you like our assistance? You guys are helping each other like, oh yeah, let's paint our fur or whatever and maybe Zephyr's off to the side just like trying to put

the ears on like, buy her herself unless you invite her. Ramius will come up. Brother Ramius will come up to you and say perhaps I could help. And he's going to say Zephyr, I know that I've only known you for a short

while and in that time I know you to be strong of mind with incredible instincts. If you feel that you should go then you should go and you will be fine.

If you do not wish to go, none of us will look down on you. It is a great risk. But you take it and bear it alone. If you should be sick, I will do all I can to help you. She hears, like, you say, and none of us will look down on you.

And she's like, none of us will look down on you. I have's like, none of us will look down on you. I have to go. I feel like we need to go. Yeah. Excellent. Can you help me? Yes, I'll do my best.

And he fumbles around with your ears and is terrible. And I think, should we also leave our weapons? I'm like, we've got nothing in crafting. Untrained. Would it be weird if we have our weapons? We're travelers. No? I'm not leaving my weapons behind.

Yeah, the lands, these are dangerous lands. We'd be fools to leave our weapons behind. And also, we're passing through. We're not here for a long time, in case anyone asks. We're here for our night at Pats patsies and then we'll move on. We'll move on. Also, before we leave the Caravanserai,

Brother Ramius is going to pull a book and look up these creatures. Gorgon? No. Gorga.

You can't remember. Gorga. Is it a nature check? You look up Gorgon and you don't find it. Is it a nature check? Yeah, it's a knowledge nature. I'll roll as well.

Or recall knowledge nature. Oh, well, you can roll if you'd like. I don't know if you want us to roll. Yeah. Let me look at your... I mean, she gave us quite a bit of information. Fae creatures, their name, attack. She gave us nothing.

What's your nature bonus? She just said that they're around and around more. But if you have a book, you can look it up. Plus five for Talitha. Plus five for Talitha, and what about you? It was flavor. I have to make a roll. Oh, Brian?

Plus seven. Plus seven. Okay. I'm talking about their abilities, their weaknesses, you know, that kind of stuff. Yes, they are creatures made of shadow and hunger,

and they love to prey upon light-loving creatures. There are many different kinds of Gorgas that exist, and each embodies a different facet of the night's countless terrors. Jesus. First level. We're first level, yeah.

And you're thinking, like, what do I know? Like, if we ever came across one of these, something that may help us in battle, you know that they are constantly surrounded by shifting shadows and they can always hide in dim light or darkness so um you'll lose them constantly um there's been stories of travelers who uh you know come upon a gorga in the woods at night, and it attacks them. They see them one second, and it attacks them behind a second later. And the few who survive will tell the speed

with which they move and disappear and reappear. What do they look like? I imagine him just seeing this in a book, just reading it by a candlelight. You might even see a sketch of one, and they kind of look like hounds until you get to the head, and the head just has these two

giant eyes that look like shadowy pools okay how does one defend against the gorga you don't says the book that's grim they have no known weaknesses

like we're still in the care of ansteroid maybe we can find someone who sells like glitter that we can throw on them if they attack us. There's a guy walking by. Glitter! Get your glitter! Or to powder, but I just think glitter would be funner. And powder! Like, you guys have powder that you're painting your hair with.

Thank you, sir! I'm out of my wares for the day! Hello! He walks away from you. In the disguise kit, maybe there's'm out of my wares for the day. Hello. He walks away from you. In the disguise kit, maybe there's a powder of some sort? There would have to be. Yes, there's some cosmetic powder. I hand it to you.

Okay, thanks. We'll take extra of this just in case. Throw it on him. Yeah. A little compact. Are we going to Seven Arches? Let's do it. Going to Seven Arches.

Going to Patsy's. You leave the caravan to Rye. Woo! It's ladies night at Patsy's. And it's ladies night. Oh, we're getting it. Our proportions are right. For once, it's three beefs at a party.

I gotta look up. What did I say? Abadia 6? Let's see if it's a Tuesdayemats in a party. I've got to look up. What did I say? Abadia 6? Let's see if it's a Tuesday, because Tuesday is Ladies' Night at Nancy's. It's in the book. You had already crossed the brook, the little bridge there, and you leave the Caravanserai, and you are looking down on this city, and you really have a good view of it. And you begin your descent into Seven Arches.

I imagine Zephyr has to still feel uneasy about this. Sure, your ears are covered. Maybe they won't know that you're of Elven descent. But that's the least of your concerns. Are you just going to wither up and die? And you start walking and we just go across all of your faces. Until we rest on Brother Ramius's face, kind of an odd duck in this group at the moment.

And as you walk down, and the afternoon starts to fade into early evening, you experience this feeling that all of us, I'm sure, have experienced from time to time, when like halfway through the day, you recall a dream that you had the night before. You're like, ah, I remember I just had this dream. You have to like tell somebody. I don't think you share this because this dream washes over you in a very unsettling way. Once again, you're back at the abbey, trying to undo that latch on the window as you're burning alive. You try to grab the chair once again to break through the glass, but you're too weak to even lift it.

The dream is so real, you can still smell the burning flesh. Your burning flesh. Your burning flesh. But this time, right before the floor collapses and the darkness embraces you, you look out the window and you see a figure standing on the ground looking up at you. And maybe you bang on the window, trying to get their attention. Help. And it's just staring at you, emotionlessly.

It looks like a man, perhaps, wearing a fine coat, but he's also wearing some kind of mask that you can't make out. And you cry out in pain once again. And now, in spite of all the searing pain from this fire, the greatest pain you feel is

where the symbol is on your body. Where is the symbol? On his neck, on the back of his neck. Alright, so you feel the fire, but you have this burning pain right below your hairline, and you raise your hand to it, and you feel the fire, but you have this burning pain right below your hairline, and you raise your hand to it, and you can feel that tattoo that appeared on your skin. It's burning with an intensity that dwarfs the heat of the flames,

and you kind of wince and look down, and when you look back up again, that man is right on the other side of the window. Oh, my God. Staring at you like floating. If you've ever seen Salem's Lot, it kind of has that sort of feel. It's right there. And they tilt their head at you, and they're wearing a monstrous mask of white fur with thick horns.

What the fuck? Oh, my God. It's been a while since I've got to say this. We will see you next week. Oh my god. Yeah, he's not sharing that one. Oh my goodness. You don't need to tell us.

They're also happy for ladies night. I don't want to hear about it. Wait till we're drunk maybe. Some of these reasons you want to keep to yourself. It's time to make your membership official. Become an official member of the Niche today at jointheniche.com. That's jointheniche.com, where you'll get access to exclusive podcasts and live streams you can't find anywhere else. See what everybody's talking about and join the nash today at jointhenash.com.