The Glass Cannon Podcast - Gatewalkers Episode 13 – Gnome for the Holidays

Episode Date: December 15, 2023

A gruesome discovery reveals a harsh new reality. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/5AJ4QxmX3MM This episode was sponsored by Demiplane, Foundry VTT and Norse Foundry. Check out Demiplane's Pathfinder Nexus and character creation tools at https://bit.ly/GCNOfficialTools See why tabletop gamers everywhere have made the switch to Foundry Virtual Tabletop at https://foundryvtt.com/gcp Visit https://drinkAG1.com/GLASSCANNON to get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 and 5 free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase. Visit https://manscaped.com and use code GCP to get 20% and free shipping. Visit https://nordVPN.com/GCP and use code GCP to get 4 extra months on the 2-year plan. Visit https://trymiracle.com/GCP to save 40% and use code GCP to get 3 free towels and save an extra 20%. Visit https://babbel.com/GCP to get 55% off your Babbel subscription. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for hundreds of hours of exclusive shows and benefits, make your membership official and join Glass Cannon Nation today by becoming a subscriber at jointhenaish.com. Watch new episodes when they premiere every Thursday at 8PM ET on youtube.com/theglasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. The door is all boarded up. Remember when we came in and the Oaksteads were saying, they don't go that way? Yeah, well, it does make sense. Why would it be boarded up from this side? The forest stronghold offered more pieces of its puzzle. Are you trapped in there? No!

Are you trapped out there? We're just curious about your lifestyle. Lifestyle? We're keepers of the greenhouse. Oh, keepers of the greenhouse. And the heroes learned that not all the creatures within are aligned with Bolon. What if we were to tell you that the gnomes are not in the city? Bolan drove them out.

Permanently. Permanently. They're absolutely all gone. Bolan said that our gnome friends went to Seven Archers and they would be back soon. Believe he deceived you. After the greenhouse keepers were freed. We are not safe here. We shall leave.

Now that we know the truth, he could come for us. Where does that door lead? That leads to the bridge. Talitha stalked a druid guard from afar. A single oak steward on the other side. Natural 20. Natural 20! You're helping to charge him!

Nice. And you take him out in one hit. Oh, my God! We're so sneaky. That's amazing. To uncover a hidden scene of horror. In a pile in front of the door leading to the north are like four or five gnome bodies in various states of decay. Oh my god.

The adventure continues now. Thank you. someday soon we will all be together if the fates allow what am i talking about we're already together for another episode of the Glass Cannon Podcast. Yeah! One week away from Christmas, you'd never know it, in this soulless studio. I'm no longer singing. I've just been relegating myself to the sweater. This is my silent protest. Oh, yeah? Uh-huh.

Well, I mean, Skid seems to have joined your team. This is obviously a fancy Christmas cocktail hour. No, no, no. It's not for Christmas. This is for Satan. Yes. It's me? Skid looks like he should be holding a long Bob Barker microphone.

Yeah. Asking us what the lowest price of that would be. I think we should swap that out. I think you would look really good with that. I would love to. If you have a line on one. That would be be fun we should all have the long barker that would be fantastic really separate us from the pack it would no one else is doing that we could also do like a fun thing where we could ask you like turn to joe like joe your thoughts right exactly yeah all right matthew so what are you going to go with here for your second attack game shows when i was a, game shows were huge.

Like, if you had a sick day from school, I would just watch game shows all day long. Yeah. Now I feel like game shows have morphed into reality shows. I mean, there are still game shows. There's game shows. Game show renaissance. Yeah, but, like, nobody watches that shit. It's like on Friday.

It used to be TGIF. Now Friday night, it's like celebrity win, lose, or draw. But there's still Wheel of Fortune. There's still The Price is Right. Yeah, Jeopardy. Nobody watched. All of those shows are back. Yes, they do.

Every time. It's not more money, but it's... American Idol? That's more... That's literally... You're making his point. You made a choice. I think it's fun, like a game, but not a game.

Press Your Luck is back. I saw that. That was a fun one. They definitely do this and what blew my mind when i uh got older and was working in new york and booked some people to do vo on game shows was how they just record 50 game shows in a week oh yeah and then they just air them all year like that's. It's like all in one week. It all gets done. It's just wild. My friend. Oh, go ahead.

I went to a taping of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Oh, nice. Oh, really? Still on the air. You got to put that on your board. I will. That sound is a great one.

That's still on the air. When somebody's trying to think of what to do with their action. The lights come down. Meredith Vieira. It wasn't Regis. Okay. But then afterwards,

they were just like, does anyone want to be on the show? And if so take the test and i was just like yeah sure and i got every question right and then they then the producer like interviewed me and uh i was super boring and then because i didn't have an answer they're like what would you do if you want a million dollars and you need a good answer to that question which i didn't have an answer. They're like, what would you do if you won a million dollars? And you need a good answer to that question, which I didn't have. You were like, I would invest it wisely in several mutual funds. Pay off credit card debt. Diversify my credit card.

I'd be like, I don't know, get an apartment. Basic living stuff. You should have said, stop living on the street. That would have gotten you in the show immediately. I've been living on the street. I've been living in and out of different cars. I've been living in friends' closets.ets yeah i really want a first edition red box and then yeah i've been looking at some vanguard etf yeah i realized like after i could see the producer like getting more

and more bored as this thing was going on i was just like fuck this up and it was like i needed personality i had no personality in the interview but that's why it's like reality shows. Like the game shows, it's not just like, oh, randomly I got on like a game show. Like they choose people who are going to be good TV. I mean, that's why like shows like The Bachelor and all that stuff drive me crazy because they are game shows. Yeah. And I was like, surely I'll meet the love of my life on this game show. You know, so stupid. Behind door number three. She likes long walks in the park. Yeah. And I was like, surely I'll meet the love of my life on this game show. You know, so stupid.

Behind door number three. She likes long walks in the park. Yeah. It's like falling in love with the Chevrolet if you win the showcase showdown. It's like just as likely to happen. You have to pay taxes on that, too. Exactly. I know someone who won both showcases.

Really? They, like, guessed within 101 both showcases. Wow. Wow. Did you see the Price is Right doc the documentary on the guy i've heard about the guy who like broke the game yeah i've heard about this have not seen it it's fantastic yeah and it's also just so nostalgic he didn't cheat it wasn't like quiz show no no he he watched the price for like 20 years or whatever 15 years like straight like 15 years straight he watched every episode every episode and he made spreadsheets of every item and every price.

And realized with obsessive watching that they do the same items over and over and over again. And so then when you watch the doc, they cut it together. So you see that it's the exact same item. I got to watch that. And he's just like, it's, it's really not my fault. Like he, he just knew the prices of everything. It's amazing. Well, there's the guy who broke a pressure to luck to the guy who figured out the pattern sequence.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what ruined the show. Destroyed the show. I used to love that when I was a kid. I love 80s animation. Yeah. I think it was in this American life, but there's a Brit.

It was a British game show, and there was a guy who realized, it's just like two people, and it's like a prisoner's dilemma kind of thing. And he basically realized he broke the game. And they play some of the clips from it, and the person he pisses off the most is not the producers, though they were pissed.

It's the person he was playing with. And he ended up winning them like a bunch of money. It was like, I can't remember how the game works, but it was like if you both agree to take a lower amount of money you walk away or you can set or you can choose to take the higher amount of money and then if you and or it's it's like you both have to choose the same and you both win or you both lose and he figured out the game and the guy he's playing with was just infuriated because he's like i'm gonna choose this and you can't change my mind oh who wants the creator of that game

david mammett whoants to Be a Millionaire had a cheating scandal as well. I don't know if it was the American one or the original one, but they would look into the audience and the wife and a friend were giving hand signals to tell which option.

Oh, stealing signs? Yeah, stealing signs. It may have not been the American one, but I saw this recently as I was scanning through my phone. Yeah, he would look towards the wife and. Um, yeah, they would like, he would look towards the wife and the wife would like, it was like,

she'd richer nose. She just like really get in there. Really good. You knew that meant see my friend. Um, my friend Ben actually went on wheel of fortune like a year ago, two years ago, he got on it and,

uh, he did a bit of acid before he went on the show that must have made his interview more interesting producer god i should have thought of that is so funny and he's like he cracks up about it he's he's a very funny guy he's like a day trader and he's got a podcast he's like he's very charismatic which is why he got on the show is this your friend who makes you murder lobsters? No. No, it's a different friend. He doesn't do, Ben doesn't do that. Matthew, that implied that Sidney wasn't really into it.

He doesn't make her. He gives her the opportunity. But I think everybody should do a little bit of acid before they do a game show. Because the whole time, and he is losing badly. But the entire time, he's like this. I couldn't imagine like on Wheel of Fortune, like being on acid and like having to spin that giant wheel in front of you. Wheel of Fortune is the one show that I like remember watching and clearly

being like, I could never do this bullshit where they just go like this. Oh yeah. Every time for the other person, whenever anything, that doesn't happen on jeopardy. You know what I mean? The other people are jeopardy ice cold.

Like somebody has it right there. Like that is more my scene. I'm just imagining like they'd have to cut out of the episode of Joe. I was going to say T. Son of. Fuck! I was going to say G! Son of a bitch! I was going to say G! You're going to be just like, get bankrupt like every time. Yeah, I need a way.

Someone goes on a run with the letter, like with R, S, T, L, and E, and he's just like, God, always choose those. Yeah, exactly. I mean, you know how many times that bankrupt would hit me? You know how many times it'd be like tick, tick, tick, bankrupt.

And I'd be like, this is bullshit. It'd be so funny. If anyone, if anyone listening or watching, please make this happen. Works a real fortune. Please make this happen.

Please make it happen. On it. You won't regret it. You will not regret it. You won't have to pay him any money. It'll be, it'll be the best final episode of any game show ever. You don't even need to rig the wheel.

Yeah, it's fine. You don't even need to rig the wheel. When I was a kid, they didn't give you RSTL&E. Most people would just choose that. Yeah, that's why they started doing that. Everyone just... They started choosing answers that didn't have it. That was like the meta. You knew until you do RSTL&E.

Now you get that for free. And also, you used to between spins and between puzzles, you'd go like the meta you knew to you do rsclne uh now you get that for free and also you used to between spins and between puzzles you'd go through like a showcase and spend the money on things oh yeah yeah it would like show your little face in a circle and it would be spinning around a showroom and there's the dog you'd buy the dog maybe like i'd like to be a hundred dollars i'll get that couch and uh let me get that uh you'd spend money on things. It's very strange. It's interesting seeing the evolution because I saw the same thing in the American Gladiators documentary, if you saw any of that. You watch a lot of game shows. This was on the flight to like L.A. or something like that.

I watched it. And it was like how much game shows evolve. Like they start and they're just like they got to get it out there. And the games aren't really ready yet. And the balance isn't really known yet. Like they start and they're just like, they got to get it out there and the games aren't really ready yet and the balance isn't really known yet. And they just start taping, you know? And then if they get a season two, if they get a season three,

you see like games get more refined. They get rid of games that stink and they get rid of things that fuck up the rules and stuff like that. So it's interesting seeing that evolution. I think Skid and I know the best possible game show that quickly went off the air. We'll say on the count of three.

One, two, three. That's a Chunky. That's a Chunky. What's his name? Oh, from... You gotta know what you do before you come out. Don't take the head off. What's That's a Chunky?

It's I Think You Should Leave. Am I an ass? It's basically like, it's a fake game show in the I Think You Should Leave. Am I an ass? It's basically like it's a fake game show in the I Think You Should Leave show. And they like haven't worked the kinks out yet. So it's like it's the first taping of it. And there's like a mascot who comes out and they're like, oh, what's like the press your luck whammy thing? Yeah.

They're like, you got a Chunky on the board. Like, what are you going to do? And the mascot comes out. What's he going to do? And he's like touching the contestant. It just starts like messing with them. Like shaking it. It's just like, oh, okay. He's like, all right.

And then he like takes his hat and he's like, that's okay. That's my hat. Is he going to take. You have my hat now. He like picks up a laptop and he's like, don't break that. He's trying to like break. Hey, stop, stop. What are you doing?

Yeah. And the like host comes over. He's like, you can't break his stuff. Get back. Go back. Go back. We're working out the kinks try it it's great that's a chunky that's a chunk that's a chunk too long tldr there's a lot of game shows out there right now you're just not watching them yeah i don't think there's big though there's a game show network there's an entire network i knew that but like that is like for retirees i think millennials so were all the other ones. They did. So were,

game shows have always been for retirees. Retirees and sick children. Yes, exactly. Yeah, I mean, I would sit there and just watch. It was Price of Riot into Concentration

into... Oh, I loved Concentration. Classic Concentration. When I was sick, I would watch the Weather Channel. Supermarket Sweep. What was the Hollywood Squares? Yeah, Hollywood Squares.

I love that. Stop, stop, stop. No, what? Say more. When when I was sick I would just like watch the weather channel for like hours that's sad when you were a kid just seeing like what the weather was all around the country I don't know it was just really soothing

like every 10 minutes the forecast comes on and the sound comes on yeah and I knew the weather so good for like that whole week i don't know it was just really nice i don't know there's a cold front coming out of the midwest maybe we shouldn't play kickball today guys yeah they should have a weather game show guess the weather guess the weather i had the sci-fi channel because you're old you probably didn't have that available to you came out when i when I was 24. Yeah, there was a lot. There was a lot of old.

1992 it premiered. It was actually in, I think it was September, September 1992. The original with the Y before they changed it. Before the Y, yeah. Or before the Y,

they had the I, yeah. 92, I was 14. Two Is. I got to watch a lot of reruns of classic sci-fi shows. I didn't need game shows. Well, I guess you're, yet again,

this conversation has gotten around to you being better than us. You've done it, Matthew. It seems to somehow always veer that way, doesn't it? It would be a bant if we didn't end there. He can't help it. Not anyone else but you, Troy. The way you look down upon poor Kate for watching the Weather Channel. I'm just amazed at your ability to do that.

I think there's something wrong with me. I mean, but you embrace it and you just watch the Weather Channel. Were you like feverish? Yeah, I think I was like sick, sick. I had a fever. And the Weather Channel was on and I was like, yeah, I don't feel like changing the channel. And I didn't for like four hours. And every 10 minutes the weather would come on and i was like here it is again

and i know what's going to happen and it's like it's the same every time it's comforting anyway i i'm at a loss so we'll take a break and not come back. So I've, you know, when we're out on tour together, I eat with you people. Yes. You people. You people.

I usually try to not overdo it, not eat, unhealthily. But around you, you're very – You eat annoyingly healthy. Not around you. You make the rest of us feel bad. Certainly, I feel bad sometimes when I eat with you guys. It's not your fault. I just submit to peer pressure. But anyway, I do that.

I feel like sometimes my digestion is not exactly feeling at its best. Let's just say. It's hard when you're traveling to eat healthy oh yeah it's by your best effort well yeah we go to these awesome restaurants and everything and you don't want to just give me a yogurt and they'll say their best thing is deep fried all right all right i guess deep fried yogurt okay went in st louis well i did feel like one thing I could do is I started drinking AG1. And when I first started drinking that daily, I felt like I was actually doing something to, you know, help my digestive system a little bit before any of that goes down. It's because AG1 is a foundational nutrition supplement that supports your body's universal needs like gut optimization, stress management, and immune support. Since 2010, AG1 has led the future of foundational nutrition, continuously refining their formula to create a smarter, better way to elevate your baseline

health. You've been drinking it, Troy, right? I've been drinking it every single day. I start my day with it on an empty stomach just because I feel like if I start with this, no matter what else I do all day, I've got a good base going you're already taking that step to like lead a better life yeah especially over the especially over the holidays when he's just like oh let me have a gallon of eggnog and that's my meal for the day it's nice to know that i'm starting off with one responsible thing with your body over this two month period and i really like the taste it tastes pretty good yeah It's also, for me too, it's the immune support too. Because it's so cold. We're going to cold and flu season.

I've got a small kid in daycare. It's, you know, I don't know. Joe, have you been trying it? I have, yeah. And it's fantastic. I agree with Troy. I think the same way. It's psychological.

If I have this first thing in the morning, it's like you feel like you're starting your day off right. I don't have cereal or like heavy breakfast. And it just makes me lighter on my feet. And it, you know, starts the day off in a better way and I move a little quicker. Yeah. So AG1, it's the supplement I trust to provide the support my body needs daily. So if you want to take ownership of your health, it starts with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply. It's one year of vitamin D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase. So go to ag1.com slash glasscanon. That's drinkag1.com slash glasscanon. Check it out.

I don't want to be hyperbolic, but when I win a gold medal in Paris, it will be 100% AG1's fault. Santa baby the season four fresh cut is here and you know what kind of fresh cut I'm talking about a fresh cut downtown this is your old buddy Troy LaValle from the Glass Cannon Podcast

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That's a junkie weather. Matthew's better than us hour. Well, this is a game that we play. One could call this a game show. Yeah. Oh, my God. Come on down. Every time we go to roll our dice, we got to clap.

You got to get the Price is Right music on there. I got that, man. I'm making my notes. Here's the thing. I don't think most game shows have scenes like what we're going to see today. No, that scene was not for retirees. No, no. Or for sick children.

No. Have you seen Legends of the Hidden Temple, though? A little scary. Yes. That was a good one, too. Was that good? Scary? I don't know.

Well, when the people would pop out to, like, when you walked into the wrong room. Right, and grab you. I just think this could be a game show. Well, all right,

then this is a game show. And last week, you continued to explore this gnome fortress, this gnome treehouse. And you came into a room with two leshies.

Right! They were so cute! Wisteria. Wisteria and Hyacinth. Hyacinth. And they explained to you that Bolon came and told them that the gnomes had just taken a little trip and that they'd be back. You explained to them that they'd been lied to.

And so they said, all right, well then we're going to leave. Feel free to have some of our drugs. And so you guys harvested some flay leaf. You did. You harvested some flay leaf and then you continued your exploration going upstairs to where you fought that rebel Oak steward and the dream spider. You looked about this library turned,

uh, laboratory and realized that they were doing some sort of experiment with, uh, that had to do with the unicorn that had to do with the dream spider. You haven't really been able to piece together what they were doing here. Um, but it seems like they were working on something. You then,

uh, go into the next room. Actually, no, before you did that, you opened the door just to see what was on the other side of the screen. Oh, right, we killed a guy. Saw an Oak Stewart.

Oh, no. Lucky killed a guy. No, it was Talitha. Like you saw an Oak Stewart patrolling. Oh, yeah, that was awesome. You throw a dagger? No, hand crossbow. Hand crossbow.

Crit. Shunk. Killed him. So great. And then you saw a tiny little fox come up, smell the body, and then run into the brush of this thick little platform. Close the door after murdering someone. He might've been the one that's like,

I am the Oak Stewart that's going to bring Bolan back. Now, where is he? Ah, door opening. Oh! Like he could have been the one. He could have been working for Lemma Feldthorn. We'll never know. I mean, I guess when you send two different,

a party of assassins, effectively, to kill Bolan and a sleeper agent and don't tell each other about each other. That's on you. That sounds like her fault. That would be really tragic. It definitely would be. To be fair, the sleeper agent and all of us

had the same idea to wear the Oak Steward uniform. So how would we know? We said at first party, they never returned because they had embedded themselves. They're deep. So they already killed it all. It's like the Judean people's front, the people's front of Judea. Fuck no. People's front of Judea.

You open the door to the north. You go up this little stairwell. It's like three steps that go up. Open the door and you see a cozy chamber with beds. Looks like a dormitory. And there's beds, there's cabinets, there's dressers. No two alike. north. There's another doorway to the west, but there are bodies everywhere. There's a pile of gnome bodies right in front of the doorway to the north, and then on half a dozen beds

there's a gnome on each bed, bound and gagged. It is quite a horrific scene. The map isn't really going to do justice to the scene here, but I want to open the door anyways and let you look inside. Yeah, that's not as horrific as you were.

Not as horrific. That's why I didn't end by showing you the map, because you can't really portray that on a map as much as I was able to weave it with my words. Power of storytelling. The. Power of storytelling. The great power of storytelling. When you first described it, I think last week, like Lucky's at the door and Lucky opens the door slowly.

And I think like the smell, you were talking about the smell. I think that hits her before she like can creak the door open to see the beds or anything. And she just knows this smell of like acrid acrid death and, like, blood, like metallic iron blood. And it kind of, like, gives her pause in the doorway, not knowing what she's about to walk into, if it's, like, a fight or something. But then seeing that there's just stillness, like nothing is moving. She slowly signals behind her and walks into the room. You walk into the room. That stench is now overpowering of the bodies.

Like they're in various states of, I want to say decay, because it seems like their death was pretty recent. Are the gnomes dead? Well, yeah, Ramius rushes to anyone that doesn't appear instantly to be dead. Like the bodies are... It's going to start examining bodies. Seletha as well. The one on the southernmost bed,

Rigamortis has set in, and you actually to be graphic, see feces on the sheet in front of evacuated his bowels. Are gnome feces multicolored? They are. It's really rather lovely. I have a little regret. Now is not the time.

Or the place. I was curious about the details of the world. A gnome is dead. Now I have to do a scene where a gnome hangs himself in just like a rainbow. Hoops rainbows. It's like a bunch of Skittles. Matthew would love it.

Is that glitter? That's a fun Skittles commercial. Taste the rainbow. Oh my commercial. Taste the rainbow. Oh, my God. Taste the rainbow. Taste the rainbow. Now you know where Skittles come from. Yes, there's a rainbow of feces on that bed.

However, as you start to look at the other five gnomes, they do appear to be breathing. Ramius rushes to the first one and he sees breathing. Starts slitting their throats. One by one. They won't know who their throats. One by one. They won't know who killed them. Yeah. One by one, he's...

What do you remove? Rainbow blood. Remove a gag. He's going to remove a gag, remove a blindfold on the first one. So Lethal will go to the second one and do the same. The first one is a woman. The second one is a man. They're looking at you terrified like,

Please, please, please don't hurt us. please, please, please don't hurt us. Please, please, please. No, of course not. We're here to help you. My name is Salitha Breakwater. We're here to rescue you. I am Brother Ramius. Him too. Are you not with the one they call Bolan?

No, no, we are here to stop Bolan from taking this place. But if you are truly not with him, then please let those of us who remain flee. Please, we have spent too long here, lost too many. We have lost too many to spend even a moment longer as this lunatic's prisoners. Please, let us flee. Of course, of course, but we must first make sure that you're all right. Yes, those of us that you're all right.

Yes, those of us who live are all right. Make sure everyone's alive. Or those that find the ones that are alive. And he's going to move to the next one. Yeah, free them. Sort of leapfrog Talitha. And, yeah. Yeah, those five. And they're all alive.

They're all conscious. And he's going to unbind them. And he's going to do a brief exam on everybody just to make sure that they can even walk themselves out of here. They might be so malnourished. They might be unable to travel safely. All right, give me a medicine check. Okay.

Natural 20. Natural 20. Wow. They are malnourished, but they are emboldened by adrenaline of being freed, and they don't look like they have any cuts or bruises or anything. They're just looking at the door and trying

to think of what the safest way to get out is. Of course we will let you flee, however it is dark and there is quite some distance back to safety. Are you sure you can defend yourselves in the forest? Yes, we know this forest like the back of our hand. Who are you?

I am Brother Ramius. This is Talitha Breakwater and our friends Buggles and Lucky. This is Zephyr. We have been sent by the Oak Stewards of Seven Arches to fight against Bolan's rebellion. The Oak Stewards are the ones that did this. It's a complicated political situation. Bolan took rebellion. The Oak Stewards are the ones that did this. Bolan took it.

It's a complicated political situation. Bolan took a dispatch of Oak Stewards that had turned against the gnomes. Calling them, like, Dark Oak Stewards. They don't really have a name yet. Rebel Oak Stewards. This whole time I thought that the treaty that we had with them had been abandoned.

No, it is that treaty that has brought us here. Oh, this is good to know. And then she looks over at the bodies. I wish that... I wish that you had come sooner. As do we. Please, before you flee, could we ask

any information you could give us about Bolan or his lieutenants? Any information that could help us? Where we might find him, hold up within... He has been using us as some test subjects for horrible poison. So

many of our mothers and fathers, sons and daughters were simply fodder for this sadistic madman. You could be next. You should flee as well. Let us all flee together. My brothers and sisters, we should go to the Eternal Grove, and we will bring these people with us. Do not stay here a moment longer. He is dangerous. He is mad.

Yes, we cannot leave without making sure that no other innocents are in here being harmed. I... I... I... Perhaps some of us fled? There are some unaccounted for, but when this happened, I did see some of us flee. How many? How many are unaccounted for? I don't know. I've lost...

What are the names? I've lost... We've been doing this too long. I've lost... Lucky, kill him. I've lost track. Sing! Lucky, kill him. I've lost track of time. I don't know how many bodies.

Well, you can count Hysteria and Hyacinth. They got away. The Leshies, they're safe. Good, good. And there were others. I'm not sure. But if you mean to stay and search the rest of this place, I will offer you every scrap of wealth you can find in this compound

to root out these evil druids and save what remains of our home. I thought the druids were protectors of nature, but these who have stolen our home, they are evil. Evil! Their view of the world has become corrupted. Dark times. These are dark times. They are defenders of nature, it seems, that they have just taken it to an extreme. Never heard of before.

They wish to eliminate anyone who does not respect nature or think of it in their way. How horrible. That is not the way of nature. The way of nature is to embrace all. Well, thank you. A thousand thanks. Before you leave, I'm sorry. I know it is tragic, but please. Really?

Have an appointment. Did you overhear anything about what the poison was for or why they were doing these tests? Or just anything about this compound that's helpful because that steam room... Oh, yeah, your windmill is quite fucked. What's wrong with the windmill? It blew up. Oh, and the stove blew up. I understand you gnomes are tinkerers, but I think, I don't know, something was wrong.

The stove and the windmill blew up? I will admit that we have done some modifications to the windmill, but never to the point of it exploding, even in all our trials. No, no, just the steam room upstairs. Steam room. The stove is a piece of shit. The stove is gone. Those who have taken over have changed

this place. We are tinkerers, but we are safe in what we do. As to what Bolan was up to, it seems like this place was convenient for him. I don't think he meant to stay here forever. He kept talking about he wanted to take over Seven Arches.

Take over Seven Arches? Yes, that is his plan. It didn't make sense to me because I thought the Oak Stewards were already in charge. But the way he spoke of it, it sounded like pure anarchy. He is a separatist faction. Where in the compound would he hole up? Where would he hide? We have been blindfolded ever since.

Where is the most defensible place in this city of yours? I mean, the entire compound is defensible. There's only one way in and one way out. He could be anywhere. But I have not seen him since he blindfolded us. We have been blindfolded for at least a week. I did hear him say something about a unicorn trying to overcome the natural defenses of the unicorn.

They are immune to poison, and he wanted to do something with them dealing with poison, but I don't know if that is helpful information. Could I roll a knowledge check on that to see if I can piece together the gaps? Sure. I wasn't asking you. I have a theory.

What is your theory? I have a theory. I think that he's trying to adapt the natural poison resistances of the unicorn so that he can use some sort of poison to kill everyone else except his people. That's my guess. Buggles, that is extremely interesting.

And he would use the poison of the dream spider, you think? The hallucinogenic... Perhaps it is one version. Perhaps. One part of the trial. But yes, to create an antidote for himself, he would have to know the poison. Well, the antidote will be part of the poison. But we rescued the unicorn, so...

Well... No, what Buggles is implying is these trials were attempting to get over the poison resistance of anyone, so that you could ease... How do you destroy everyone at once? Everyone.

He does not have soldiers of that number. Poison. That not have soldiers of that number. Poison. That's how he would do it. This is biological warfare. Howard's weapon. Would not the animals and creatures of the world that he means to protect also suffer from this? I don't think Bolon... I don't know that he means to protect all the animals either.

Do we need to be here? I do have one question. Oh, please. No, no, I have one question. Yes? The last time you saw Bolon, did he have a jade amulet around his neck?

Or have you ever heard him discuss a shade with a key? An amulet? A key? No, no. It all happened so fast. At first, they were posing, as Oak's stewards meant, to parlay with us about something. I can't even remember at this point.

And then it was madness. What does he look like? Describe him. He was wearing a mask. I couldn't quite see his face. He was tall, like you. Human features. But his face was covered by a mask made of leaves. Did he wear a robe the same as all the others? Or something to distinguish himself? He perhaps was a bit more ostentatious in his garb,

while the rest were dressed similarly. It was clear that he was the leader. Interesting. Can I roll a knowledge check to kind of using Buggle's theory to see if that would make sense with what we know and what we discover? What would that be? Nature, I guess? Or occultism? I feel like arcane.

I also think you should get a bonus for pursuing a lead. Yeah, because there were arcane formulas and stuff lying around. Arcana? Yeah, arcana. Yeah, and the unicorn's resistances would be magical in nature. 17. 17. 17. You think that Buggles is on to something in that unicorns are naturally immune to poison.

So perhaps they were trying to do trying to overcome the unicorn's defenses or they're trying to apply the unicorn's defenses to their own people so that they can spread the poison safely for themselves. Could be either way. Poison the water.

Yeah, it's unclear if that's their motive, but it certainly seems like they were trying to do it to affect the unicorn. If they were then going to use that as like some sort of gas, I mean, who knows? But they, it seems like they wanted to sedate the unicorn.

It could be for the ritual, too. Yeah. Well, of course. Maybe just for sexual pleasure. Yes, also a possibility. Unicorn horn is an aphrodisiac. You can go. Yeah, you can leave.

Get out! After him! Flee while you can! No, but all seriousness, do you need an escort? No, no, no, no. I'm sure there'll be time for that once we relax. Call a 1-800 number, but in the meantime, we will just make our way to the Eternal Grove. How much you mentioned it? Do you know one? Have we heard of the Eternal Grove? This sounds familiar.

Um, the Leshies mentioned that. Yeah. It's where, like, the gnomes... Where is it? I'd very much like to find you there after we leave this place. It is not a place that is open to you. You invited us there.

You just invited us there. You literally just invited us, and I was trying to... You said we should come. You're the figure of speech. Like, I'll see you around. It was a pity invite. You said...

You're more than welcome to join us It was a pity invite. You didn't expect us to take him upon. You said it multiple times. Do you not have that expression? See you in the Eternal Grove? See you at the Eternal Grove. Yes, let's all go to the Eternal Grove with these people. Here's the address to the Eternal Grove.

It's too dangerous. You should come. You'll be completely safe. That's not an expression where you come from. No, it's not really. We are used to... Tripping me off the tongue, either. you'll be completely safe. That's not an expression where you come from. No, it's not really. No. I so... We are used to... It doesn't really fall

tripping me off the tongue either. Anyways, we have to leave but I do hope to see you all at the Eternal Grove. I can't tell if it's... I see you there. Does he... And he smiles.

He gets it. I don't get it. See ya. I don't get it. I'm learning their ways. I don't like the gnomes. We'll bury your friends. Don't worry about it. I'll tell you a secret don't like the gnomes. We'll bury your friends. Don't worry about it.

Muggles, I'll tell you a secret. No one likes gnomes. I'm glad we're not going to the Eternal Grove. The five gnomes kind of stealthily look around, and they scurry out and hopefully get to safety. I would like. Did any of them on the way out drop healing potions out of their pants? They didn't.

I'm going to try. They were pounding. Ding, ding, ding, ding. That guy came back and said, sorry, that's... That was there the whole time? Oh, no. I want to check all these chests and stuff in the room if they're... Yeah, I just want to...

Yeah. Respectfully search the room. Respectfully rifle. Respectfully search the room Respectfully Paw over the corpses They basically gave us the deed If we can clear it out Let's do it I wonder if this is going to be our HQ

New clubhouse I got 21 for respectful search I got a 19, I'm a little more delicate I rolled a natural 4 I got a 15 Nothing of import, there's some clothing Gnome clothing, a couple gnome hats I got a 19. I'm a little more delicate. I rolled a natural four. I got a 15. Nothing of import. There's some clothing, gnome clothing, a couple gnome hats. What about on the bodies?

Shoes. The blood-soaked bodies are just wearing clothes, no items, no weapons. They're a peaceful people that were assaulted. What mean thing were you about to say about me? I was going to ask you if you have your gnome hat from the Geekery HQ live show from 2017. Dave of the Gnome Hat. I sadly do not have it. Because that would have been perfect. I barely even have a picture of that.

Yeah, I've seen a picture of it. I have too. I just walked by that store today. Oh yeah? What is it now? It's a tattoo parlor. Amazing. Yeah, so they were experimenting on the gnomes with this poison,

and then it looks like they've been cutting into the bodies as well to, like, see how the poison affected them. I don't know. It's a horrible scene. Yeah, I mean, it's incredibly unorganized, disorganized, and makes no sense. If you are doing medical experiments, you would do it in a place that is... cleaner, more refined.

Where you could study your results in a... Sorry, I... I just don't understand the butchery here. It makes no sense. It is nasty. Lucky is crouched near the bodies, and she looks up at Remius and Buggles. When people kill like this, they don't care.

Doesn't matter. And to Bolon, these aren't people. They're just... obstacles. They are the enemy to him. The enemy of all nature We need to find him Yes

Can we listen at the door to the north Unless we want to go to the door to the weest Door to the north Door to the north I like the weest Just gut, pure gut Love dying weest Alright somebody wants to

Open the door, listen to the door. What are you doing? I'll listen to the door to the Weiss. I'll stand far from it with my bow. 17. Listen. Nothing.

Maybe a water dripping. It's a toilet. Stealthily open the door. Toilet. Toilet Toilet I have to go open it Are you all going in with him? I'm by Talitha We're all on the map

The place where we want to be I think That's pretty accurate We're using the Foundry virtual tabletop To simulate where we're standing in the room You can refer to that Troy If you have any questions Don't ever ask me where my character is again to simulate where we're standing in the room. Oh, great. You can refer to that, Troy, if you have any questions. Don't ever ask me where my character is again.

You listen. You hear drip, drip, drip. Talitha opens the door, and there's just this, like, a violet mist exploding out. Oh, no. To everyone except, it looks like, Zephyr. a violet mist exploding out to everyone except, it looks like, Zephyr. Nice, Zeph.

The rest of you roll a Fortitude save. Oh, no. I've been hit by enough traps. Do you guys think this is the mushrooms that were mentioned before? Classic mushroom trap. Oh, natural. Twanzoni. Oh, natural. Twin zoning.

Oh, wow. You're ready. Shoot, you've been hit by enough traps. 27. I'm ready for anything to explode. Okay. You're great. Ultimo tween zoning.

Yeah, I have a tween zoning as well. Right on the tween. Right on the tween. That hits you right in the tween. Is this a poison? It is. Okay. So who did I give the antidote to?

Because we're still under the effects. Me. Oh, I think you did. He was very clear about who had the antidote and who didn't. So it should be on your sheet. Well, whoever has it. I'll add it right here. You get a plus two to this roll.

Not unless you drank it. You have to drink the antidote. No, but you gave it to. Yeah, I remember we got poisoned. I think you gave it to Zephyr. You have to drink the antidote. No, but you gave it to... Yeah, remember we got poisoned. I think you gave it to Zephyr. No, what I'm saying, drinking the antidote is an action you can take after this. No, no, no. It protects you for six hours.

The people that drank it before already still have the... Oh, you already drank it. Remember we got poisoned. We already got poisoned. Oh, so you should have it on your sheet that you have this boost. It's plus two. So that'll be... Zephyr has it, but Zephyr doesn't need it right now.

Right? I don't know if I have it. Yeah, but you drank it. You drank it last time, I thought. I think it was you. I'm looking at my notes right now, but I'm not hitting it. Anyway. 18 for Thelene. 17 for Brother Ramius. 19 for Buggles.

Ooh, we're gonna find out the exact DC. We will find out the number. Because I'll tell you what, it's not. 60. No. Here's a question. The antidote definitely lasts. Six hours. Six hours. And all of you pass. Yeah! Awesome. All of you pass.

And so this violet mist just comes spraying all over all of you. Lands right in front of Zephyr's feet, and you look at the room beyond. What was that? What was it? It looks like a private sauna.

There's a large wooden tub filling most of the floor space, bamboo pipes from outside running through a small steel boiler and then going into the tub in a single drip of water, dripping. And now you can see on the other side of the door a very obvious trap. Wow. Triggered a trap. Could I identify it? Or Talitha?

I just try to identify the toxin, see if it was Dream Spider stuff. Yeah, alchemy? Crafting? Alchemy? Sure. 20. 20. 20. It looks like a poison known as violet venom. Violet venom?

What does that do? It's sick! And how is it... How do you get it? You eat a violet? Is it like it's made from a flower? I can look that up. You get bitten by a violet.

You get stung by a violet. Basically it can... I hate violet fangs. You take damage, you become enf You get bitten by a, stung by a violet. Basically it can. I hate violet fangs. You take damage, you can become enfeebled, then you take more damage, you become drained, and then you become even more enfeebled. It's pretty. Nasty poison. My college mascot was the fighting violets. But why, why trap this room?

Why? Yeah, will you do a perception check on the room? The delicate process of extracting violet venom from a violet fungus leaves it diluted at the best of times. A fungus. Alchemists are still on the hunt for a truly pure, unadulterated version of this highly toxic poison. Wow. All right, I'm going to walk in. DC 17, by the way.

Oh, nailed it. I said it was a tweener and it was right on it. That to me isn't a tweener. 17 at first level. No, our rolls were tweeners. I rolled a 13. You rolled a 13? 14? No, a 17't a tweener, 17 at first level. No, our rolls were tweeners. I rolled a 13. You rolled a 13? 14?

No, a 17 is a tweener. It was literally the DC. 16 feels like a tweener to me. Maybe 15. 15 feels like a tweener. It's objectively correct because it was the DC. If you hit the DC. If I roll a 17 at first level, I'm psyched.

No. If I hit it, I think I may have succeeded and may have failed 50-50. It's good looking at you like you're crazy. A 2E. I still don't have a feel for it because the numbers are... It's the nerdiest part of it. 16 is the lowest. I do like saying tweener.

It's fun. I agree with you. It is fun to say, so we might as well take that. I don't even think... Yeah, I don't... There aren't too many DC 15s. Joe didn't even hear me say you got hit in the tweener. He didn't even laugh or something.

I didn't hear it. I would have laughed. Now the moment's gone. That's good. Where is that on your butt? Yeah. I'm going to do a perception in this room. It's between.

And I roll a 13. 25. Looking around. Nothing of import. Looks like they've made themselves a luxurious sauna here. Why did they trap us? Why is it trapped? Does the water look clean? Also, how do you get out of here? Yes, it does look clean. How do you get out of here Why did they trap her? Why is it trapped? Does the water look clean?

How do you get out of here? Yes, it does look clean. How do you get out of here? Is there a window? Who trapped her? You can't trap it and then leave, can you? Maybe it traps from the inside. Lucky would like to dip her paw into the tub.

It was trapped inside. And then there's no other way out? No visible way out of here? Maybe they said if they could just close the door and arm the trap. Yeah, maybe. But I think that we should be looking for something else in here. I agree. Another portal.

Lucky's playing with the water. It's not running, so I must make it look like it's running. Yeah, it's water. And now your fur is wet. How deep is it? Licks it. Can you just see the bottom? Yeah, it's pretty much empty.

There's a little bit of water there. They haven't filled it. It's just like a bath? Yeah, it's just a bath. And you look that, like, if you see now that the trap is behind the door, but it sets up over the door, a better perception check, you would have seen it from the outside and would have been able to disable it. So if the rebels were using this room, they could disable it

before they go in and then re-enable it. All right. That's what I do. I trap my steam room. Interesting. You don't want the kids in there. You don't want the kids in there. Yeah, it's not safe for kids to go into it. It's not safe for the kids to trap it with a deadly poison. That'll teach them.

That'll keep the kids out of the hot tub. But she isn't afraid of bunnies No she will Um So yeah Very strange Alright door to the north then Door to the north

Door to the north Uh perception check So just to be clear My gut instinct there pointed us to a meaningless room with a deadly trap. And I was excited when you were the one

that said, I like the West. I was like, thank God. As soon as Joe said gut instinct. I mean, that about sums up my gut.

I wanted to make a joke about your gut and I was like, no, don't do that. That's mean. 18 perception. 18 perception. Tweener.

Classic tweener. You're listening. It's a little too quiet on the other side of the... That's a warning sign. Lucky. Lucky would also like to listen with my plus two circumstance with my cat ears. Cat ears. Meow.

18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25. 25. And she's really focusing on that exact thing, like subtle movements of bodies that she can't see, because that's what her skill is. You're listening, 25. You hear like a scraping sound on the floor. It doesn't sound like feet.

It sounds like something very small is being dragged back and forth. And feel like you can hear breathing. After you. Yep. Lucky does all of that. And you. Yep. Lucky does all of that and signals to everybody. And they all know exactly. I think I know what it is. Oh. Yeah? It's my

wife in the audience who wants to be a millionaire. We'll see if I'm right. Okay. Oh, you're not going to tell us? You're going to write it down on a slip of paper. I think it's a golden lion tamarin. That's my guess. A what? A little monkey. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong.

I think he's writing something. That's what Lucky thinks. All right. Lucky is going to... Talitha, get up there. Kick down the door. Fight. Talitha.

Kick down the door. Both weapons out. Talitha will Kick down the door. Both weapons out. Talitha will have her hand crossbow out. Okay. Hand crossbow out. Kick down the door. Videographer's laughing. Golden lion.

He's got his head in his hands. Face in his hands. He's picturing the monkey trying to write Shakespeare. He's trying to make a noise. He doesn't want to ruin the recording. He's picturing the monkey writing something. Trying to write Shakespeare. I think...

It was the blirst of times. It's just a golden monkey trying to write Shakespeare behind the door, obviously. There's only one of them in here. It's going to take him forever. Your hearing is incredible. Yeah. You're a golden monkey. What's that, 25?

Trying to write Shakespeare. I believe it's Time and a Bath. Pretty much getting all of it. Comedy of errors. It's like almost done. Like it kicks down the door. You kill it just as it's about to write the end. We'll never know what happens.

Never know. How do I finish this couplet? Ah, hand crossbow to the monkey brain. You kick down the door. Boom! We'll see you what happens. Never know. How do I finish this couplet? Ah! Hand crossbow to the monkey brain. You kick down the door. Boom! We'll see you after this break. Ah! Ah!

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There's no golden monkey right now. Oh no! Your ears deceive you. There is no golden monkey right now. Oh, no. Your ears deceive you. There is, however, a living golden sunflower that's standing there. I was half right. Looking at you. What? It's a monk? There's like a little living sunflower with vines growing out of its legs,

and it's shifting back and forth, and you can hear that sound on the floor of its, like, vines moving back and forth. And behind that sunflower creature is an oak steward in much different regalia and a big fucking mass. Oh! Fancy regalia? Fancy regalia. Let's talk about the room.

Oh, come on with this. I'm not ready to die. It's a cozy-looking chamber, has large, glassless windows, seven of which are unshuttered to look out over the rest of the complex. Furniture includes a four-foot-long bed, a small desk, and a variety of elegant built-in drawers and cabinets. Unceremoniously unfurled on the floor lies a rumpled, human-sized bedroll.

Looks like an office. Might have been the Greenleaf Gnome's office. It has been repurposed as a master bedroom. Let's look at the room real quick. We asked where he could be, and they didn't know he was right there. In the master bedroom right next door?

There's a sunflower person in there, too. Holy shit, that floor, that rug is amazing. Here is the sunflower person in there too Holy shit that floor That rug is amazing Here is the sunflower person Oh so unfriendly Yeah evil mean You don't know look at the eyes She looks kind of hot

Yeah She looks hot This is my type That is the sexiest sunflower I've seen. Yeah. I think we can all agree. And here is the gentleman. Oh, boy.

Is this him? That's what he would look like in combat. If that's not a boss, then I don't want to see the boss. A little extravagant. I bet he's definitely a vegan. Looks like Jimmy Page. He looks theatrical, for sure. A little theatrical.

You open the door, and he's standing there, ready, with his little sunflower friend. And he says, who dares to enter my domain? You are interlopers here. Mercenaries. Yes, that's what you are. Aaron boys sent by grocery clerks to collect a bill.

Your laws do not apply here, for the forest has chosen me to hold civilization accountable. That is why I have been gifted with powers. The power of life and death over nature. My plant, Necromancy.

He outstretches his hand. We'll make things right. My whole life I have been spit upon and shamed by humanity but the forest, the forest knows how special I am. The gate

knew as well. And now you shall know too! Roll for initiative. It's so embarrassing. He thinks he's the only person in the room that's been through the gates. He is angry at humanity.

I'm so nervous about this roll. Yeah, I rolled very badly. I did really bad. Yeah, I did too. Dude, this sucks. Yeah, I rolled very badly. I did really bad. Yeah, I did too. Oh! Dude, this sucks. You know what? Follow cap.

Wow. Oh. Wow. Wow. He's swimming in them. He's swimming in caps over there. Matty caps. Matty caps. Matty caps.

That's why you call him Matty caps. From a natural four to a natural 19. Oh! What's the total? I wasn't ready for that question. Quick, math. Are we doing perception? Yes.

Okay, 25. Acrobatics. 25, okay. Maybe stealth. I guess we weren't being stealthy. I was not, yeah. You kicked down the door. Brother Ramius of Latria.

13. 13. Talitha Bray? Nope. I'm Talitha. Who the fuck did I change? Oh, Cox. What did you roll?

25? 25. Lucky. That's an inappropriate exclamation. Ah, Cox. Also got it. Brian Cox. 13.

13. Lucky. 13. I know. Ooh. Ooh. Oop. Fun.

Let's have a drop for that. Buggles. 16. 16. 16 for Buggles. That's not Buggles' voice. Ooh. Ooh. Let's have a drop for that. Buggles. 16. 16 for Buggles. That's not Buggles' voice. 16. 16. Zephyr. 21. 21. For Zephyr. Holy shit. Dude,

this is awful. It sure is. I really wanted to roll higher. This is what we came here for. Curse this inevitable conclusion of this narrative. This is going to be great. I was not expecting this. I really wanted to roll higher. This is what we came here for. Curse this inevitable conclusion of this narrative. This is going to be great. I was not expecting this. I have confidence we're going to win. Well, actually, I would say one of the reasons I think it's awful is that it's hard.

Because Brother Ramius feels a certain sympathy for this dude. It's kind of hard to... Well, we all are gatewalkers. I mean, this gnome room makes it really really tough but like you know the idea of being. The involuntarily testing of poisons kind of Yeah the genocide sort of mindset. Yeah but the idea

that no one. I kind of feel sorry for Adolf Eichmann Don't forget. Right well you've been tasked with bringing him to justice. Exactly. Yeah. So keep that in mind here. Round one to Lethal Breakwater with that him to justice. Exactly. Yeah. So keep that in mind here. Round one to Lethal Breakwater with that beautiful cap use. Okay. So do I have a shot?

I can see him. Do I have a shot off on him? Yeah. He's going to get a plus two to his AC there. I'm just going by. It's plus one to AC, just so you know. Sorry, plus two if you think it's like chunkier cover. I think it's chunkier cover. What I was just going to say is like if we were using another VTT,

I don't even know if I'd let you take the shot, but you do have that line of sight, but I'm adding plus one for lucky and I'm adding plus one for shooting around a corner. Okay. I'm going to devise a strategy. Do it. Nice. Is this Bolan? No. It was on a natural

20 and then it fell on top. Oh, man. All right, let me add in a knowledge check before I decide what to do next. I got a free one with my known weakness. Known weakness. Okay, there's the natural 18. So what is he, nature, I'm assuming? Yeah, I mean, he's a human.

It would be society 25 25 Yeah so That actually doesn't Hit the DC So all you know Is that this is Another Oak Stewart

You would assume He has similar Druidic powers Doesn't hit the DC Yeah I have a DC For him And it doesn't hit the DC Wow

It says society, DC 26. Incredibly hard. Oh, okay. I rolled about as well as I could have, and I might want my obviously incredibly hard. It's a gate walker. You don't know what he experienced there. All of you have certain things

that have happened to you. We don't know his power at all. We've asked multiple people, and they're just like, he has unknown... Yeah, we asked if he ever spoke about what happened to him when he crossed the gate or anything. We don't know his power at all. We've asked multiple people and they're just like, he has unknown... Yeah, we asked if he ever spoke about what happened to him when he crossed the gate or anything. He hasn't spoken to anybody

about it, apparently, that we talked to. He did say necromancy. He did say plant necromancy. Well, this combat will be a great learning experience. Right. I think we'll learn a lot.

Those who survive will definitely know a lot more. The next party is really going to know a lot because of the players that play them. All right. I'm going to use my...

I'm going to... I'm going to fire with the hand crossbow. Okay. I'll take a shot. Why not? Take a shot. It's going to be a 15 to hit. 15 misses. Yeah.

Okay. How much does it miss by exactly? He's good. We're having a good time. Do that on a game show. And then I'm going to attempt to demoralize this guy. Yeah. Will DC?

Will DC. Will DC. It's going to be a very, very slim chance to do it. Hey. You, sir, are a genocider. Genocidist? Damn it. Genocide.

Genocidal maniac. You go through that whole thing where you say the wrong thing. Well, why don't you roll the die and then we'll see. Because it's going to be a minus four. Confident. You are a genocidist. Confident? I don't get it.

She did do that. I did do that. She did do that. You, sir, are a genocidist. What is it? Genocidist? Genocidist? Genocidist?

You call me? Prepare to die. Prepare to die. Amazing. Okay. Well, now. Well, now. Well, now. Well, well, well.

It's his turn. Here we are. It is his turn. But I am considering waiting. Delaying is the stupidest thing you can do in a combat, Troy. Only stupid people do it Yeah I am actually going to Hold and now it goes to Zephyr

Well crap I mean like I have a straight shot On the sunflower and it's At 30 feet Which we could talk about a fun semantics problem My volley is 30 feet Does that mean that the sunflower is 30 feet within my volley?

Yeah. Well. It's targets within 30 feet. And so if it's at exactly 30 feet, I think that 31 feet, it's not. Outside of that, though, I've got two of my allies directly in front of me, and I don't want to try to shoot through them.

Do you want to hold? With the volley. So that's what I think I'm going to do is just hold. Hold and see. I definitely have to hold? With the valley, so that's what I think I'm going to do, is just hold. Hold and see. I definitely have to move. Okay, another holding situation. Very good. Alright, it is the sunflower's turn.

What is the old sunflower going to do? Bend towards the light. Gradually. What can a sunflower do? Focus on the sunflower! Brother Amius will say. Alright, the sunflower is going to

move up one spot. Oh, I don't like this. Then it is going to... I put my cone out there a little too early. I hate it when that happens. It's never happened before, I swear. I put my cone out there a little too early. I hate it when that happens. It's never happened before, I swear. The cone will affect Brother Ramius,

who will get a bonus to your reflex save around the corner there, but Lucky and Talitha will not give me a reflex save as it sprays a bunch of sunflower seeds at you. Oh, no. Oh, no. They got a baseball dugout. Chew on these salty treats. I got a 13, but I'm going to

use my cat's luck. I'm going to re-roll my reflex save. Very well. Have at it, Hoss. Oh no. 10. 10. It's worse. 26. 10 10 26

okay natural 1 would you say 10 failure critical success critical failure we got the whole array yeah we get to learn things now you take 10 points of damage You take 10 points of damage.

You take 20 points of damage. Oh, no. Oh, my God. He's down. Brother Ramius. And he's to dying two. Brother Ramius goes straight to dying two from a critical failure.

The healer, by the way. That's the end of its turn. It now goes to Buggles. Zephyr, you still could jump in if you want here, but nothing has really changed to make you do so. So, Buggles, you are up. I think... Focus on the sunflower.

I had an instinct. Something was wrong with that sunflower. The thing is also, we can't just shut the door because you kicked it down. That's right. Okay. Thank you, Kate. I said I could open the door. Troy made an artistic choice to say it flew across the room.

It's an artistic. You kicked it, and you're very strong. And you're very strong. And you're very strong. I think I am. Yeah, the problem is that we're sort of bunched up at the door here. Anything that we would do, the creatures would get covered. So I am going to wait.

I'm going to hold as well. Wait. Okay. Wow, this is interesting. It now is Lucky's turn. And the sunflower has now moved up, so you can't move past the sunflower to get at, presumably, Bolan Nagasa without incurring.

But maybe the sunflower doesn't have an attack of opportunity. It's just a cute little flower. Hey, everybody. My name's Wishy-Washy. Lucky is going to move into the room diagonally along the wall, trying to, like, you know, keep far away and make room.

And then she is going to double slice at this flower with her Kofesh and her Wakizashi double slice at the flower and I'm gonna kill it with her headstrimmers yes

yes 25 25 is a hit that's the first one. That's gonna be... Six points of damage. That's not a ton. Six points of damage, okay.

Second. Tits. Toxic tits. 15. Tits, 15 misses. Misses, okay. That's my turn. All right. Luckyits, 15 misses. Misses, okay. That's my turn. All right.

Lucky has entered the room. Would you like to go now, Zephyr? Yeah, because if I try to wait for Talitha to move, that means I have to wait until the next round. So I think I want to take one step back and to the side so I can still hit the sunflower, but it's out of my 30-foot volley since I'm at a diagonal now.

Yeah, and I'm going to say it's still going to get a plus one to cover. Buggles is small, so you can shoot past Buggles. The cover doesn't stack, though, right? Like, you shoot through three people, you don't get plus three, right? Yeah, it's just flat plus one. Well, it's either one or two.

It's up to you. One or two. I'm going to say... I think it's soft cover, hard cover. I can't remember the exact terminology. Standard cover, light cover. I can't remember, but it's either one or two. It's up to you. One or two. I'm going to say. I think it's soft cover, hard cover. I can't remember the exact terminology. Standard cover, light cover. I can't remember, but it's either plus one or plus two. I'm not worried about Buggles because of his height.

Talitha's there, and I don't think the doorway is going to bother you because you have a pretty clean view of it where it's standing now. So plus one to it. Lesser, standard, or greater? What's greater? Plus four? Plus four. Yeah.

Usually something will say, you get greater cover. Okay. So take a step back. Another action to get into monastic archer stance. Third action, flurry of blows with my longbow. Flurry of bows. Flurry of bows. All right.

Okay, that's not good. That's a 13 to hit. Guessing that doesn't hit. 13 does not hit. So my second attack. Some purple ghosts are swirling around Brother Amius. Yes. Dying too.

Nope, that does not hit either. Second attack does not hit either. I can't get a clear shot on this freaking sunflower. I'm sorry, guys. I'm gonna go then. Okay. Foggles is going to clamber over this pile

of gnome corpses in front of Talitha. Help me! And he... Not anymore. Stop what you're doing and give me aid. He's betting that this sunflower doesn't like fire. A little fire, sunflower. A little fire, sunflower.

He's literally saying that in my head. And yeah, he's going to produce flame, throw it at it. That is an 18 to hit. 18 is a hit. Yes. Nice. Nice. Eight points of fire damage. Nice. Okay, eight points of fire damage.

I saw this TikTok of a guy cooking and eating a sunflower. He took the giant sunflower, scrubbed it, cooked it, like a branch on it or whatever, scrubbed it, cooked it, like a branch on it or whatever, and ate it.

Did it look good? Well, yeah, once it had ranch on it. I was going to say, how are they eating it? It did look like ranch seasoning. There was a lot of

seasoning in the window and they just ate it like it was a cheeseburger. A big fucking sunflower. Sometimes people do things on TikTok that aren't good ideas. Especially around food.

Sometimes? Yeah. But he was like, oh, so good. Sure. It really looked like he liked it. Sure. Every time I drive by my neighbor's house,

I see a big fucking sunflower over there. It grabs. Give me that. TikTok made me do it. My children need food. Look at that burger flower. You can eat. You can eat.

Burger flower. You can eat an entire sunflower. It says, from root to leaf, sprout to stalk. But is it good? You can eat grass, sunflower. It says from root to leaf, sprout to stalk. But is it good? You can eat grass, too. But I mean, you shouldn't.

I could eat this table if I wanted to. That's true. They say you could put it on a grill like a hot dog or a piece of steak. The more you know. Troy, you're teaching me something today. I dare you to eat a sunflower live next week on air. I'll do it. Steal your neighbor's sunflower, bring it in, we'll cook it.

Done. I'll do it. Take that. Hope they don't listen. I'll try anything twice. You go in and they've actually trapped Sunflower. Sunflower's trapped with violent venom. Alright, round two. Bolan is not going to go.

It's Talitha's turn. Talitha, you're standing right next to Brother Ramius. Brother Ramius, what's your cap situation? I have my only first starting cap of the show. Yeah, I mean, if you were to critically fail a death save, you die, right? Yes. Yeah, so this is pretty nasty.

That's why he kept the cap. It was a gamble. Also got this fight going. Use the cap and re-roll and still probably roll a natural one. Or keep the cap and have one chance at stabilizing. It's not a problem. Talitha is going to quick tincture an elixir of life. First action, pour it into Brother Ramius' throat.

Second action. I'm going to roll, though, if that's all right, for your recovery. Five. Wow. All right, so you lose the dying condition, which we are now wounded to. You also have a plus one bonus

against poisons and diseases for ten minutes. Oh. Could come into play. Could come into play. All right, that's two actions. Third action, Talitha is going to... And you're prone and off guard. Who's the prone?

Talitha is going to draw her rapier as she moves into the room to face off against the sunflower. Yeah, totally. She's going to step kind of around Lucky. Okay. Get into place. We'll see if it has an attack of opportunity.

So draw a rapier and move around it? Yeah. Okay. It does not attack you. Then I will finish my movement. No, I will stay where I am. I was going to flank it, but I don't want to be... Yeah, Bolan.

I don't want to get flanked. Bolan. Bolan. Bolan. Okay. That's Talitha's turn. It is now. You're done.

Are you done? It's now. Yes, sorry. Are you quite done? Are you quite done with your turn? It's Bolan Nagaso's turn. Bolan Nagaso, what you gonna do? Nagaso.

Mmm. Oh, man. Strategy, strategy, strategy. I'm going to hold again. Oh, my God, I'm going to die. Of anticipation of what this guy can do. And it's Brother Ramius' turn. Brother Ramius is prone.

I just realized your nails match the walls. Oh, yeah, very nice. I can't see them. Where are the tips of your fingers? Folks at home, green screen, Kate's nails. I'm in my Halloween era while we're in Christmas Very nice This is so fucked

Okay I'm sorry for bringing you back to life I know So fucked You really made Joe's life hard by restoring him He could have been our color compensator Exactly, I could have just enjoyed myself A couple recovery checks, permadeath

Where you relax. All right. I am going to... God, I hate this. All right. I am going to battle medicine

myself. So he... Oh, it's like picking these things out. And please don't

fail, you son of a bitch. Succeeded. Nice. Fantastic. It was you son of a bitch Succeeded Fantastic It was a bit of a tweener Actually Low on the healing scale

Got six points back And then He is going to Stand up And He is going to stand up and he's going to stand up and then he's going to move behind the wall and get himself in cover, basically, from everything in that room. Okay. Yeah. Get behind the wall there.

It looks like Lucky is sneaking out from behind that archway. You're not Well, that shouldn't happen at all But anyways, sorry, so you're going to get back there just in case they have more ranged things You can't afford to get hit, especially while you're wounded too Okay, it is the sunflower Leshy's turn It's going to take a step back

And then Uh, it's going to take a step back and then is going to attack with a tendril from 10 feet away. A tendril reaches out for Talitha and just like tries to, uh, skewer you. It's going to be a 16 to hit. Ah. Woo. Okay. And then final attack will be on Lucky.

Another tendril comes out. As it gets you with the map, misses with a 7, so miss, miss. And now Bolan will go. With the sunflower out of the way,

Bolan will move up once. Out of the way? This is ridiculous. Oh, no. I'm already very hurt. Really? Yes, I lost ten hit points. Oh, right.

Oh, from the getting hit. From the sunflower. Yeah, that was... That was brutal. Yeah, and the way that you moved into the room, I couldn't help you. No. I tried to stay out of harm's way.

You also were unconscious. No, when I was awake, I was going to battle medicine myself and then heal Lucky, and I couldn't heal you. I had to move, and by that point, I'm out of actions. All right, Bolan will move up twice.

Ruh-roh. And will... do an action where basically he like raises his hands and all of the plant-based materials on the floor, on the walls, start to grow sharp thorns

and spiky branches just like come out to try and skewer you. Lucky and Talitha, give me a reflex save. That cat's luck thing you did, is that once a day? Yep. Oh, shit. Oh, lucky.

Did you get luck? 26. 26. Regular success. Oh, for God's sakes. I rolled a natural 19. Dude, this sucks. Oh, then maybe I want to use it. I guess we've already...

11. 11. Failure. You take 16 points of piercing damage. You take 8 points. I'm down. So is Talitha. That's so funny.

I'm down? That's a fucking joke, dude. We have 16 hit points max. I had eight hit points left. Are they 2d6 damage like all these rolls? I'm not going to tell you. I'll tell you. Listen to Cannon Fodder. I think in your mind you think we have more hit points.

No, I don't. I don't think about it at all. All right. So you're at all. Really? Yeah. Oh, my God. That's weird. All right, so you're both dying. God. Wow. I'm dying one?

Yeah, you're both dying one. Yeah. Holy shit. So you're both dying one. Brother Ramius is wounded two. And now it is Lucky. Well, actually, no. Lucky is moving the initiative order, so it'll be Zephyr's turn.

Oh, my God. This is awful. Well, I'm still in my monastic archer stance, and Bolan just moved into my field of view and is outside my volley. So I'm going to start off with... What are you laughing at over there? This game. Joe and I are laughing and looking at each volley. So I'm going to start off with what are you laughing at over there? This game. Joe and I are laughing at each other. It's hilarious. Nothing I can do. Well, I'm just, I'm sorry, I'm just replaying

it over in my head. I'm like, you have a catfolk fighter with a natural 19 reflex save and you take 8 damage on an attack that it hit multiple people. Yep. It's just it's ridiculous. It's crazy.

Well, this is Bolan. Yeah, it is the boss fight. So it's meant to be I think I have the highest hit points out of everybody. I have 20. Yeah. You have 20 hit points? That's a lot. And I'm already down. Wow. I wonder how many your new character will have. Yeah. Alright, three of blows as my

first action. Alright, so Blows as my first action. All right. So you're still blowing it up, long bowing it up. Yep, because I'm already in my stance. Oh, I see. I can't see any of the enemies, but I see how you probably could. Yeah, he just moved into the doorway. Oh, that's great. You can't see shit.

You can't see shit. I don't even know that they're down. So I might just take a couple rounds to recover myself. It's a 19 to hit. 19 to hit. 19 to hit. Buggles is standing there, but I already said before that's not going to give a bonus to cover.

And you have a clean shot otherwise. Come on! That is a hit. Yeah! Zephyr! Hit pull one. Okay, a D8. Here we go.

That's four points of damage. Okay. One more hit. Natural 20. Natural one. Joe, why do you gotta... I blame you. That would be what we call here at the network,

a fan of Boney. I don't have a bottle cap. You don't have one? No. Okay. This is horrible. Well, it was fun playing on this show

with you guys. Yeah, it was fun. These characters were fun. It's not like we had six months of lead up with these characters. So much undiscovered backstory. Paying for awesome art. We'll pay for more art. Pay for new art. We're going to go bankrupt as a company paying for art for new art.

We're stimulating the economy by killing our characters right now. You guys have backups, right? No. No. I mean, it is preposterous. We could bring in an entirely new party and still die immediately. Yeah. Like, it doesn't make any sense.

Unless they're all just second or third level. For instance, of catfolk fighters who would be ideally suited to this combat. Actually, I haven't. And they'd all be down. I have experience. I don't think it would work. Speaking from experience. All right, this one from Lee in Asheville.

Hi, Lee. Hi, Lee. Carolina. Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee. Come to Charlotte, you cowards. You're from Asheville. We went to Asheville. Yeah, we went to Asheville. I know. We came to the town you cowards. You're from Asheville. We went to Asheville. Yeah, we went to Asheville.

We came to the town you live in. We drove through Charlotte. I don't understand these complaints. We did come to Charlotte. We just didn't do a show. We left there immediately. We left there immediately. We didn't stop.

You seem to have lost all sense of direction and ended up in some backwater burg a hundred miles away from the major city that should have been your intended destination. Your attack misses. Roll a will save. Okay. Let me get my will. This is very bad. That was like a spell fumble. This is so bad, it could kill us all.

Hey, guys, guess what? My will save is my worst one. Use a bottle cap. I don't have one. 15. 15, I would imagine, is a fail. It's still using the AC of the target. Yeah, so that's a fail.

That's a fail. You are confused for 1d4 rounds. Oh, no. And you can attempt a new save at the end of each turn to lose the confusion. But that means you could just kill Brother Ramius right now. Oh, no. Like, that's how quick. Or Buggles.

So I'll do the d4. Two now. Oh no. Like that's how quick. Or Buggles. So I'll do the d4. Two rounds. Two rounds. You don't have your wits about you and you attack wildly. You are off guard, or flat-footed as it were. You don't treat anyone as your ally, though they might still treat you as theirs. Debatable. And you can't delay, ready, or use reactions. You use all

your actions to strike or cast offensive cantrips, though the GM can have you do other blah blah blah. Your targets are determined randomly by the GM. If you have no other viable targets, you target yourself. Automatically hitting, but not scoring a critical hit. The implication being there

you could crit your friends. If it's impossible for you to attack or cast spells, you babble incoherently. That doesn't seem the case. Oh my god. So it's basically going to be randomly. She's going to have to roll randomly against the sunflower, Bolan, or Buggles. Or Brother Ramius. Yeah.

So it's 50-50. You hit an enemy. Yeah. Or if either of you wake up, you. Well, she can't see. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Yeah, the targets that she can see right now are Buggles, Bolan.

I'm assuming I would just keep trying to shoot with my bow because I'm already in my stance and I have it out, in which case Buggles and Brother Amias are within my volley. So that's a negative two. And this is like my third action. So very low chance. So I'm going to say Buggles won two. Well, then this counts as one round of confusion, then.

Yeah. Yeah. So at the end of this turn, I can roll another three. So either she's not confused for this action, and she's confused for two full rounds. Oh, I see what you mean. Or, if she's confused now, then that counts as one of the two rounds. I think she should be confused now, because she already was confused from the

fumble. So I think this should be a round. Some sort of nascent magic energy in this room is making it. Yeah, I mean, this is obviously made for 1-8. This is a 1-8 crit, so that's why. No? It's 2-8. That's 2-8? Yeah.

Confused for 2 rounds. Yeah, because I wonder how this would tick. Like, it's not the fumble's fault that it happened. Well, no, I mean, on a full attack in 1-8, you know, if the fumble happens after your first attack, you still have a second attack that you would. All right, if it happens, fumble happens after your first attack, you still have a second attack that you would... Alright, so yeah, this will be one round. I mean, you could get

ticky-tacky and go into a number of actions, but I'll say this is the first round of it. 1-2 Buggles, 3-4 Bolon, 5-6 Brother Ramius. I'll roll it. Uh, Brother Ramius. What about the Sunflower? Oh! Sunflower, she can't. You have to miss. If you put me down, like, I can't... Alright, well, with the map and the minus two.

And the natural 20. Should be fine. And the guaranteed Nat Twins-ony. At least you're not going to kill Buggles this time. Yeah, we need Buggles. My favorite attack is going to be negative three. A Nat 20 could kill Brother Rames, right? No?

I have a Bottlecap. Wounded too. But, I mean, if he goes down, the whole fight's over. Yeah. Nope. I rolled a three on. Wounded too. But, I mean, if he goes down, the whole fight's over. Yeah. Nope. I rolled a three on my dice. Awesome. Yeah!

Woo! Yeah! So, Brother Amius is immediately like... That's my second action. Yeah, it's like... This is the best thing when you... Oh, it's your third. That's your third.

Well, you did the flurry of blows as one action. That's one action. Oh, okay. And I was already in my monastic archer stance, so I just did that. Oh. I'm sorry. No, but you hit Bolon. That was the first flurry of blows.

We have another one. Both of those as one action. All right, so you only used the minus, the second map, right? Not the third map. Just roll again on a random target. So I take two actions as one, but the map applies. So this one that I shot at Brother Amias takes level three in the map. So your original intention was Flurry of Blows on Bolon, right?

And I did do that. And I natural wound on the second attack. Okay, but that only counts as one action? Yeah. Okay. And so then the second action was when the map comes into whatever. The second action is minus eight. The second action is minus eight. The third action is minus eight.

So you roll a more attack, and this is a very, very low chance, and it's going to be Buggles with a one. I swear to God. It's a nine on the dice, so that misses. All right. That one misses. That Buggles and Brother Raiders. I'm like, can I roll a miss?

Now we know, at least. At least we know she's twisted in the head. It's the worst person to have confused. Yeah, you see me just like furrowed brow, just like frantically like, because I see everyone going down. Yeah. I mean, this is very, very bad.

Yes. I don't have to tell you that. Get those bad rolls out of the way, though. This is good. We're all rolling like shit, and now you get to get them out of the way. That's exactly how random numbers work. That's right.

All right, Buggles. Let's do this. Buggles, you are up. You are one of three of your allies that are up. Buggles! This is not ideal. You do see. That's one way to put it.

You do see Talitha and Lucky went down, though. You can actually see us. You're the only one. You can see everybody. You can see us. The only person that can see everybody. So Buggles is like, no, no, no, and his psyche is unleashed. It better be.

It's a cloud of frost swirling around him. Siak-a-ak emerges, and he is going to fire a ray of frost at the sunflower. An amped ray of frost. Amped ray of frost. You amped ray of frost. Amped ray of frost.

You amped, bro! 22 to hit. 22 is a hit. Okay. Yes. That is 10 points of frost damage. And the sunflower goes down. Yes!

And I get five points, five temporary HP, drawing its energy into me. Nice! Okay. All right, so the sunflower goes down. You draw energy into yourself. There is one combatant left who is very dangerous,

who, by the way, didn't even take a first round and has still put down three of you. Well, the multiple enemy. God. It must be so nice to just have cones for everything you do. The design of this room is also very disadvantageous to us. It's just a hard doorway to get through, and he was in the back corner and bottlenecked.

The ability that it used didn't affect the sunflower either, specifically as written in the ability. That helps. Amazing. All right. Let's move on to round three. It's Brother Ramius' turn. Given's move on to round three. It's Brother Ramius' turn.

Given that I still have an action. Oh. I'll allow it. I would like to, so I'm going to restore the mind on, oh boy. So I can see all three of the, I should do, who should I give it on? Lucky. Lucky. Can you remove?

Why are you pointing at me? What can I do? You're amazing. You can heal people. Not right now. I'm in melee with this guy. Lucky is not. Lucky. Can you remove? Why are you pointing at me? What can I do? You're amazing. You can heal people. Not right now. I'm in melee with this guy. Lucky is not. Oh.

I can't see anything in that room. I'm going to do it on, I'm going to restore it. This is really tough. This is like, Lucky, come back. We need you. Boom. Four hit points back. Oh, thank you.

You're awake. And I'm awake and prone on the ground, and that's it. You're awake. You're wounded one. Yowza. Man. Shit. It could be worse.

It was literally like he would just put me down. I wouldn't be able to stand up. I could maybe get a tincture off into Lucky's mouth, but then he'd... I can't heal anybody, but I can heal you. We don't know... Oh, yeah. Okay. Round three. Brother Ramius. Brother Ramius.

Brother Ramius. Back up against the wall. Horribly injured. Battle medicine himself up, but he's still really hurt. Wounded too. He has fire crackling. Actually, what he sees, actually it flashes. And you see a boy.

Looks like Brother Ramius. He's got a son? Laying on some rocks on a beach with water, like rough water, hitting him, crying. And you can see that his leg is broken. And he's screaming up. Help me! Help me! Alone on the rocks.

And Brother Ramius is like, no, no! And he opens his eyes and runs into the room. Oh, shit. As a final act of death. Oh, thank you. As a final act of death. I don't think it... Actually, if he gets behind Buggles... Is the corpse pile a habitable space? It's difficult to rent.

Yes. You can stand in the corpse pile. I can stand in the corpse pile? Yeah. It doesn't even... It's just gnomes. Yeah, they don't take up a lot of space. It's just a bunch of poison gnomes. It's a flavor pile. It's just a flavor pile of gnome corpses. Flavor pile. Flavor corpse pile? It's just gnomes. Yeah, they don't take up a lot of space. It's just a bunch of poison gnomes.

It's a flavor pile. It's a flavor pile of gnome corpses. Flavor corpse pile. Okay, then I think it's smarter for him to see this scene and step

into the pile of corpses and he's looking past It's the pile of rainbow fecal matter. He's looking past Buggles and he is going to cast heal on Lucky. Okay. So

that will be 13 hit points. Oh my huge. Huge. Wow. That's great. He's bent over in pain and I wanted, now I remember why I wanted to run into the room,

even though Bolan would put him down to get away from Zephyr. And I forgot. You're still within my volley. That's good. All right, Lucky, it's now your turn. You've moved in the initiative order, but you no longer need to roll a death save here. You are prone, and you are wounded one. You're also flat-footed while you're prone.

Okay. So I'm going to stand up from prone. That. That. Just kidding. Troy, now is not the time or the place. I'm having a good time. So standing up from prone is an action.

Mm-hmm. Shit. Was when I was a kid, still is now I know, but I want to use my double slice But that's two actions You also dropped your weapons When you went down Stop it, Matthew I don't know, I didn't say it specifically

I knew it was the case, but I didn't say it And you did I didn't want to put an ass to this If Lucky's ever going to make the Hall of Fame You don't want to put an ass on this. Boo this man. If Lucky's ever going to make the Hall of Fame, you don't want that ass. I know, you're going to end up with a Roger Maris. I pick up my weapons. Okay, two actions. Second action.

And then I'm going to move across the doorway. What? It's not. It's not two actions? To pick up two weapons? With two hands. I'm going to save one action. Thank you. Save one action.

And then I move. You just sort of assumed, though. I assume if I'm trained and I'm a dual wield, whatever. This is very hard. Can you not? That's got to take at least eight to ten seconds. Let me roll to see how many feet the Kopesh was away. Max feet. Max feet.

Max feet. I move across to the other side of the doorway to give people a clear line of sight on Talitha if needed, and then I just stand and get ready to fight. Stand and get ready. Oh, wait. No, no, no. I don't move.

I stay where I am, and I do my intimidating glare, one action, final action. Intimidating. Stand in defiance. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't even need to talk. I just, you know, I stand back up, having blood on me with my two weapons, and I stare down. Oh, yeah, I mean, like a revenant, a cat revenant.

I came back from the dead. He brought you down, and you're just like. Troy, when I get. That's pretty intimidating. That is very intimidating. A little bonus, you think? Nah. The worst!

I was about to say, when I get a level for kip-up you know I'm getting that. Oh, yeah. HPK. Kip-up. Everyone should get kip-up. So yeah, I demoralize. Try to. And I roll my That's the best. HPK. Kip up. Kip up. Everyone should get kip up. So yeah, I demoralize. Try to. And I roll my... Why do you have to be so negative?

We use dice in this game to determine whether or not you succeed. Oh, it's a plus four. Okay, cool. To my intimidation. This is going to be tough. Especially with that roll. It doesn't. Your intimidate is plus four?

Yeah. Oh. We're level one. It doesn't intimidate them, but plus four? Yeah. We're level one. It doesn't intimidate them, but I still, I think it looks. I want you to know that I'm intimidated. It was scary. It was super scary. I loved the image.

Yeah, it was very cool. I wish the die would have supported your awesome storytelling. It was very Rocky V. Bombera. Bombera. His favorite movie. His favorite of the Rocky. You mean the best of the Rocky movies? Rocky 5 is your favorite?

Well known as the best of the Rocky movies. Wait, would it be a quintilogy? What's the word for like five... A quintet? I mean, a quintet is five people. What's five books? Kind of like quintilogy. A saga.

I want that to... A saga. The Rocky saga. It's a quintet or a pentology. A quintology. A quintology. So that does sound like a scary religion. Right.

Or a Pearl Jam album. Pentology. Or a track and field event. Pentology. I got silver in the pentology. All right, Talitha, give me a death save here. I'm on to that. So what is it?

I'm dying one, so it's... 11. 11 or better? 11. Oh! Oh my god! That stabilizes! Nice.

You lose the dying condition, but you take the wounded condition. Wow. You are prone. And unconscious. And unconscious. Huge roll. Good roll.

Because you didn't have... Oh no, you did have a cap. I have one cap. Sly fox! I almost used the cap to mitigate the damage that would have taken me down. And that's what I did too, and I decided not to. You gambled. It's Bolan's turn. Lost that gamble.

Bolan looks at all of you. Realizing how outnumbered he is. Realizing how outnumbered he is, seeing Zephyr confused in the back, and he looks at the corpse of his sunflower friend. He goes, Sunwood! No!

Then he looks to the window. He takes a step back. With the rope! Runs to the window. Oh, son of a... And you see these little leather grips on his hands. He grabs the zip line. The zip line! And zips to the next building. Get out of here! And we'll see you next week.

No, you son of a bitch. Oh, my God. He's only here. He's the book three villain. We're going to be following him through all the books? I'll take it. I'll take it. We all survived.

That's fine. Let him go. Nice trick play, AP. All right. Well, Zephyr could still kill us all. It's true. Don't worry. What a twist. Zephyr will kill kill us all It's true What a twist

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