The Glass Cannon Podcast - Gatewalkers Episode 18 – The Dogs of War

Episode Date: January 19, 2024

A trio of gorgas attacks the party as they make camp. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/xaslHxcid7U This episode was sponsored by Demiplane, Foundry VTT and Norse Foundry. Check out Demiplane's Pathfinder Nexus and character creation tools at https://bit.ly/GCNOfficialTools See why tabletop gamers everywhere have made the switch to Foundry Virtual Tabletop at https://foundryvtt.com/gcp Visit https://TryFum.com/GCN and use code "GCN" to get 10% off the Journey Pack today. Visit https://drinkAG1.com/glasscannon to get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 and 5 free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for hundreds of hours of exclusive shows and benefits, make your membership official and join Glass Cannon Nation today by becoming a subscriber at jointhenaish.com. Watch new episodes when they premiere every Thursday at 8PM ET on youtube.com/theglasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chauncey was going to take me on a trip to the place he's from. From the producer of Megan, Five Nights at Freddy's and The Black Phone. Alice! Alice! Alice! Get out! Now. Many kids have imaginary friends. Ready or not. Just because you stop believing in them doesn't mean they're gone. Here he comes.

And they're angry you left. Imaginary. Now playing only in theaters. Drinking a McCafe coffee is a lot like... You know that... feeling where it's so good you actually want a friend to get one? That feeling of... and getting the last.

Where it just hits in all the right ways that you to get one multiple times a day yep mccafe just shouts order your mccafe on the app or in restaurant today must be mccafe at participating mcdonald's in canada app download and registration required you are listening to the glass cannon network the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. It's going to take you the better part of the morning into the afternoon to make your way to Pa Mosby's farm. Come this way. Meet Pa.

As I said, he is a little off. We wanted to ask you questions about Shailen's death. Those demons took her like it wasn't a try to take Jiminy. As I turned to run, I saw a figure in the woods behind these beasts, a tall, thin man. And when I saw him, I could feel him in my mind. Hello? Jiminy!

I'm so scared. There is no need to be frightened. I'm here to help. Have you fought my father? Well, no, I've just met him. Not the one downstairs. My real father. I could feel him

in my brain tell me that I was his son. And that one day I would inherit his kingdom. This boy has been visited by Kniepo.

Where will you go next? The Thinlands. We don't have much time. You're going to have to camp out and make your way to Thinlands Farms. Yep. Zephyr, you're watching sort of the periphery of this campsite, and it's so dark beyond the edge of where

this campfire is. But you see in the brush, moonlight reflecting off of the eyes of the three Gorgons. Oh, come on! The adventure continues now. Thank you. Hello and welcome back to the Glass Cannon Podcast. Here it is. Are you ready?

Pizza or ice cream? Oh, straight to the bant? Pizza. No pre-bant bant today? or ice cream? Oh, straight to the bant? Pizza. No pre-bant bant today? Or ice cream? Who hurt you? You have to choose. Or what?

Or what? Uh-oh. We've got a mutiny. What are you going to do? If you don't choose. What are you going to do? Hit me? You will be hit.

Again? Again. Hit me? You will be hit. Again? Again. I assume this is the only thing you can eat for a meal, every meal for the rest of your life? No, it's just the one you don't choose, you can never have again. No, you have to, just which one do you prefer? I know.

Okay. I want Skid to go first, though. Man, I love, I really do love them both. Yeah. End of answer. It's hard. It is. It is not hard.

I mean, I do. It is pizza. I eat pizza once a week. Pizza. Me too. Whereas I rarely eat ice cream. Likewise. Whereas I rarely eat ice cream. Although I would eat ice cream every day

if I thought it wouldn't kill me. I think there's your answer, though. That's a key point to the question, will it still give me a tummy ache if I eat it? No. I don't know. Am I cured from any ailments? You just have to pick which one you can't live without. I don't know. Am I cured from any ailments? You just have to pick which one you can't live without.

I choose ice cream. To not have or to have? To have. To have. To hold. Ice cream. To have and to hold. To have and to hold.

Why don't you marry it? Pygamist! You're already getting married to a man! Man wasn't enough for you I gotta marry a food I like pizza but I can live without it wow

that's insane ice cream there's so many different types and it's like yeah there's only one type of pizza. Next argument? Let's ask this 1970s librarian. It's called fashion.

Look it up. A library? It's called fashion. Read a book. All the leaves are brown book all the leaves are brown all the leaves are brown and the sky is gray and the sky is gray

I'm never not wearing all black again I love it we should all wear costumes it is a little cold in the studio it is which is good

Kate loves Halloween so much she dresses up all year round. I put this on today and I was like, I can't wait to wear this to one episode and have them just talk about it in the band. Because I know you would. It's a really cute jacket. Also, I am not getting 70s from this just because there's sunflowers on it. It doesn't seem like the 70s at all. It seems a little.

It's a little 70s. The color scheme. The color scheme, I agree. The design of the flower. That's pretty 70s. Yeah, it looks like. Combined with Kate's hair. A It's a little 70s. The color scheme. The color scheme, I agree. The design of the flower. That's pretty 70s. Yeah, it looks like... Combined with Kate's hair. A sweater or a van.

A van. Oh, there we go. There we go. Listen. What would you eat in that? Ice cream or pizza? In this? Well, I used to not be able to have ice cream in the house

because I would just eat the whole thing. I thought there was a lactose. But it gives me like a tummy ache. And I don't know if that tummy ache will be cured or not in this question. Okay. A pound of cheese doesn't give you the same tummy ache on a cheese pizza? No, it does. It sounds like that pizza we had in Chicago when I was like,

this crust is amazing. And you guys were like, it's cheese. It is fried cheese. That's fried cheese. Cheese. And I had a tummy ache. Pizza. You're going pizza?

Pizza. Team pizza. All right. So I think Skid kind of settled on, backwards settled on ice cream. No, I think pizza. Because I'm used to going without ice cream. I'm not used to going without pizza. I know I can do it.

Okay. So I'll go pizza. Pizza, ice cream, pizza. I guess we know. As soon as you brought this bad topic, I'm like, there's no way I can get out of this without some sort of insult coming my way. So I decided to keep quiet. But actually Skid and Kate have articulated my response perfectly. So it's stomachache related?

That's why you can't just choose which one you like better? No, I did choose. I'm choosing pizza. Oh, you're choosing pizza? Oh. Okay, okay. All right, all right. Hold on, hold on.

Joe was the first one to say he had an answer. Let's up the stakes a little bit. Let's up the stakes a little bit. Well, now, if you're bringing steak into it, then I... All right, let me know. Let's say, on the bad side, you cannot have the other thing ever again. That was the whole thing.

And on the good side, there's no ill effects from eating the thing that you want to eat. No weight gain, no tummy aches. No weight gain. No weight gain, no tummy aches, pizza. It's great. How about you answer the original question before we start?

I did. I said pizza right away. I was the first one to answer. Yeah. What about when you have pizza and your face feels all greasy afterwards? That's what I'm saying. You guys are like, I can't have ice cream. It's not good for you.

Pizza is not good for you. No, it's not. But pizza doesn't give me like a tummy ache. It doesn't mess me up as much. I will say when I asked the question, I did not know my own answer because I love them both. Yeah, I love them both.

They're both great. Listening to these answers and giving it some serious thought, I have chosen ice cream. I knew you would. Yeah. That's why we're great friends. I mean,

I could have picked ice cream for you a thousand times out of a thousand. You have an enormous sweet tooth. I do have a sweet tooth, but I think I exaggerate it just to make you laugh. It's not as big as it seems. I had very little Easter candy this year, but I made up for it with a gallon of Halloween candy.

We were recently out together to eat, and we were completely done. Everyone was just crippled with how full we were, how American we were in done like everyone was just like oh like crippled with how full we were how american we were in that moment and the server was like does anybody want dessert and like everybody was just like uh like basically asked for a check and troy's like we'll look at a menu it happened i think someone else asked to look at the menu it might have been sydney all three two said troy and the next thing you know, we have three desserts on the table, and I'm trouncing it as much as anybody else.

I'm like, what am I doing to myself? They were good. They were really good. I think you're onto something, though, with the desserts, because I think we feel the same way. It's like a dopamine rush. And I love a sweet treat. I love a sweet treat. And having pizza or pasta or a good sandwich, doesn't matter how good it is,

it doesn't give me the same satisfaction that a sweet treat is. What would be your ice cream of choice? Chocolate. Just plain chocolate? Double fudge brownie, John? No, I could go balls to the wall with a crazy ice cream, but if I'm just like, any ice cream. Make and model.

Honda Civic. Fuck! Make and model. Honda Civic. Fuck. Make and model. Honda Civic and cream. I love coffee ice cream. I'll go for different flavors, but usually just a tried and true rich, dark chocolate ice cream. That makes me really mad. I don't know why.

That I like chocolate ice cream. No, that like the ice cream you would choose to have forever is just plain chocolate. Of all ice cream. Yeah. It's just chocolate. You know who else likes chocolate? My two-year-old. I'm sorry. What would you pick?

I don't know. I love all kinds of ice cream. Okay. I used to work an ice cream stand for two summers. Summer and a half. John Cena's parents owned the ice cream stand. He would come by once in a while. And all of his brothers.

And WrestleTroy. And WrestleTroy. There was a little wrestling. And hurt him. He was ripped and like the nicest guy in the world back then. And his name is John Cena. I wrote that music for him. We were just jamming behind the ice cream stand.

Like, I like that tune. No, I ate four scoops a day every shift. Wow. And this is when I was like 18. So my metabolism was just like. And it was a beautiful time. It was a beautiful time. We should age in reverse. I always said that. If you had that

to look forward to at the end of your life, just be able to house. You'd be so much more careful crossing the street. It's so true. Agreed. I just, I, lately I've been having pizza and being like, I think I need a break from pizza. I've never had that feeling about ice cream.

What pizza are you eating? I'm eating decent Westchester pizza. It doesn't sound very decent. Well. You're like, I can take a break from it. I'm just kind of like. My reaction to average pizza or better, like with a baseline of averages, I want to eat this until I'm dead. Oh, I'm a pizza sn snob like if a pizza is not

good i'm gonna let everyone in the restaurant know yes we know but what i'll say is if a pizza is like not good i will still eat all of it in sight if i if i have i won't be like i'm i'm not eating that like i'm the slightest bit hungry and there is cardboard frozen pizza on the table i'm like yeah exactly i mean i have eaten that pizza like a i don't want maybe chucky cheese style but where it's just like terrible yeah where it's like a piece of american cheese like a square of it is the only cheese like high school cafeteria yeah high school cafeteria a pool like a public pool pizza public pool pizza that is a great name for a restaurant public pool pizza i mean hey come on down to public pool pizza you like american cheese you like square slices we got it all for you down at public pool pizza smells like chlorine i'm just saying i'll eat

it it's not good i don't enjoy it But I'll eat it I don't mind pizza That's meant to be So-so Like a chain pizza Papa John's Love Domino's Love that stuff

Love Domino's But like What's better than Domino's at 11.35pm Literally nothing Matthew and I You still trigger each other All the time

When we live near each other In Astoria It's terrible And just like Be like Did you get an update From the Domino's app Domino's app

Should we get Domino's Is it two for one? Boom! Eight minutes later, there's two pizzas. See, Sidney and Kate, long before, when the tour began, we didn't always have hotels. We would sometimes get Airbnbs, and we would almost always get Domino's. Every single night. It was the only thing open in these places.

The cities were... Yeah. I remember very specifically, there was one Airbnb we were at, and we each had a... We were flying out at different times. You're all thinking. It was Los Angeles. It was, it was Los Angeles.

And I was the last one left in the Airbnb. And I like, I stayed an extra day. You and I stayed an extra day. Yeah. Yeah. And you left, you go to the airport and I had like an hour and I got up and I opened the

refrigerator and there were no fewer than like four Domino's boxes. And I was like, well, I guess I got to have pizza. Actually want Domino's boxes. And I was like, well, I guess I gotta have pizza for breakfast. Domino's. I actually want Domino's now. Um, stay tuned to hear from our new sponsor,

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Fume is giving the niche 10% off when they use the code GCN to help make starting the good habit that much easier. Start the good habit at tryfume.com slash GCN to save 10% off the Journey Pack today. We're back. Domino's canceled. But luckily, we are still sponsored by Demi Plain, Foundry VTT, and Norse Foundry. Skid, what do we know about Norse Foundry? I call them the dominoes of dice.

Watch how they fall. This is like, wow, that really worked. It's for all your random number generating needs and go great on a pizza. You know what they also go great with? They go great with rolling for initiative. Oh, that's right. Let's roll, baby. Roll for initiative.

All right, I need to be reminded, what's the scene? The scene is. Are we asleep? Didn't we get interrupted during the rest? None of you are wearing clothes or armor. Not true. So it's an all-nude fight. It's an all-nude fight.

It's like history of violence. Grease them up. Everybody get greased up. Eastern Promises, yeah. Eastern Promises. No, all right, so last... There's an all-nude fight in Eastern Promises. Oh, yeah.

It's harrowing. It is, yeah. It's one of the best all-nude fights you're going to see on film. Was Francis laughing? Francis is laughing. improv oh yeah it's harrowing it is uh yeah it's one of the best all nude fights you're gonna see um because he's thinking of the third and fourth best it's a bit of a connoisseur of all nude fights did someone say nude film um Did someone say nude film?

Francis just like pops out of nowhere. Like on the street, you're like, I was just thinking about it. All nude film comment. Francis is there. He's like, hey. I got a list. I'll send you. Last week, you're continuing your investigation of Kniepo the Slim, the Thin Lance, trying to find out everything you can because it seems like the world may end in three days or something really bad is going to happen. They are trying to bring back the obnubulate curse if Bolan is to be believed. So you are trying to do some research

because even the Oak stewards, this was like folklore. Like, yeah, people talked about this character, Knievel the slim, an eerie slender figure walking around the forest. But there's all sorts of stories of weird shit like that going on in the Wildwood. Not Wildwood. And then the Thinlands. Yeah, there's a farm. There's a farm area called Thinlands Farms. You might want to check that out. You might want to go check out this survivor of a gorga attack.

Because it seems like the gorgas are tied to Kniepo as well. And then go to the Quaking Stacks as well. So a couple well. And then go to the Quaking Stacks as well. So a couple episodes ago, you go to the Quaking Stacks. You do some research, learn some stuff. Last week, you check out Mosby Farm. And I imagine it's exactly how you expected it would go. Dude, let me just say that the second we walked up and you had that kid be like, get the devil and run away and stuff.

I was not joking when I was like, I'd like to skip this role. There's something really awful happening here. And I do not want to get into it. And then sure enough, it delivered. It was awful. It was really frightening what's happening to these people. And I don't know. We were talking about it after.

And I was like, what is going on in this adventure? What is the theme of this adventure? Like, we don't know. We're trying to figure it out. Like, is this a, I guess it's horror, but is it? Also, like, is it demonic or is that just what the kid thinks it is? Right, that's what he's identifying it as.

But, you know, we're trying to, it's obviously not Cthulian horror. It's a different kind. We can't nail it down. But Slender, like Slender Man. It's so scary. I don't even know how to like categorize, like you know Slender Man, like the

urban legend of... I mean, yeah, it's like... I don't. It's a Jersey thing. Is it? No. No? Is it a New York thing? No, it started on Creepypasta. Oh, something awful. Yeah. But it's this kind of exact thing. It's like this tall, slender... Story that this tall slender story that might

be real story that might be real might not be real like have you seen him urban legend urban legend but it's like unknown what he is or does you know so it's like shadowy tall and the kid even was like he doesn't seem strong but it's like then what the fuck does he do? Like, get into your mind? Get into your dreams? Yes, it sounds like. And how is this at all connected to? The gates. The gates. Yeah.

And can we go back over real quick? During Pa's responses, he mentioned something about, like, they eviscerated the mule, and then he, like, heard them in his head as he was running or something like that? He turned around and saw a figure standing there watching this. With a smile. And all he saw was a smile and heard the voice of that person speaking. Okay, so that's what he has in common with the kid, is that they

both hear his voice in their head. Yeah. And Bolan. Bolan also had some sort of pact or something with Kineppo. Yeah. Dealings. The genre thing is really interesting to me.

I feel like in all of the APs we played, you don't really know the tone until end of the first book. I knew. I mean, I knew with Giant Slayer. Like it sort of tell you what it is. Okay. So what's the tone? The tone is a classic fantasy campaign fighting against the Giants homage. Yeah. It's an homage to classic. No, no, no. I'm talking about this. What's the tone of this? That's what I'm saying. I don't. Yeah, it's an homage to classic.

No, no, no. I'm talking about this. What's the tone of this? That's what I'm saying. I don't know. And it's freaking me out. Or maybe tone is more. Tone of Strange Aeons, you know what it is when you begin playing it.

Tone of Wrath of the Righteous, you know what it is when you begin playing it. I don't know. Rise of the Rune Lords, you think, I mean, you start out thinking you're going to defend this small town. And then at the end of book one, you're like oh no there's like there's actually something much deeper going on here i mean that's true of any mystery right yeah i mean yeah it's sure i'm not saying i have the answers to all right so we're all making bets it sounds like but you could define it you know what i mean like joe doesn't really like to gamble troy either joe if you could figure it out before the end of book one,

I think Joe should get a bottle cap. Yeah. I think I've said this to you. Like every time you, if you think you know where this is going to go, you put a thousand monkeys and a thousand typewriters, you're never going to figure it out. It's really, that's what drew me to this. That would be one of the worst ways to try to figure it out.

I'm sure. I think you're right. And it's actually one of the things that I like so far about this is like, I don't, I don't have any suspicion of like what's going on or where this is going. I love that. Yeah. And I love it because the,

I think the smartest thing that they're doing is they're putting a very clear mystery in front of every PC that every PC would logically want to solve no matter what their background is. It's like you, something happened to you that you don't know what it is and you're trying to figure it out. So as long as you have that to kickstart you, it could be any genre.

It could be any like, you know, I don't know what they're going for. I mean, X-Files was the touch point for me in the, like the player's guide. Was it? Okay.

Yeah, that makes sense. But, but I don't know what X-Files like genre is. The supernatural. X-Files always hops genre. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Right now, it's very much an investigation. It is a paranormal investigation. Yeah. Is that enough of a strong enough theme to sort of tie it all together? Maybe. Maybe, but I mean, the word itself, right? I mean, paranormal. Like, it's so vague.

Outside of the norm. Exactly. It's so vague. And anyway, North. Exactly. It's so vague. And anyway, I'm not trying to nail it down. I was just saying, like, I don't know what's going on here, and it's fascinating. Well, here's what you do know. You have used your blessed spell for the day, and you are a fox in a hole. With no sword.

With no sword. Relax. Let's see what these initiatives are. Are we awake? You guys already roll? Are we awake? You are awake. So this happened very early in the...

Yeah, you guys were fucking around, and Zephyr specifically said that she was watching, and so she saw these Johnson... So I get a sneak attack. You don't exist. I specifically said I was using my scouting lore to forge, so can I use my scouting lore as my initiative? Absolutely.

Yes, yes, yes. I'm a fa. And you were doing drugs, so you can use your drug lore. Oh, actually, I didn't even think about that. I got to put those effects on. Yeah. Can I use stealth in my initiative since I've been-

You were specifically watching. Watching and being- Perception. Stalking. Joe. Dude. I feel like it's perception for you. I'd like it-

Sometimes feelings are wrong. I don't think any of you were specifically. Sometimes we can be betrayed by our feelings. Talitha, what were you doing? You were, Talitha was asleep. I think we used to. No, I was scouting. I'm kidding.

All right, Buggles, what did you bug? I got a natural 20 for 24. Oh, Buggles. 24. Hot start. For Buggles. Brother Ramius. 22 for Brother Ramius.

Okay. Not too shab-a-roo. 22 for Brother Ramius. Okay. Not too shab-a-roo. Not too shab-boo. Zephyr? Nine, which I don't think is fair because I'm literally looking right at them and ready. I have my weapon out. I know. I know, but maybe you-

That makes one of us. I imagine you could have been shocked and frozen in place by three Gorgas coming at you. I'm just trying to backwards engineer. Don't you play my character, scaredy cat. What about Asta? Now, this is going to sound crazy, but I also rolled a natural 20. Oh!

Or a 24. 24, that will help you as a fox. And Talitha. I also rolled a 24, but not a natural 20. Wow. So you guys choose who goes, right? Shug-gong-gong-gong-gong, yes. If the enemy rolls the same, they go first.

When heroes roll the same, they choose. Let's go to the sweet-ass map on Foundry VTT. Got a little campfire John there, spreading a nice little radius of light. We had a whole discussion while we were getting lunch about what chicanery you were going to pull about the campfire. What did I pull? You didn't. No, you didn't. I said we should have a light source because of the campfire.

I did. And Joe and Matthew, they thought you wouldn't do it. We thought you don't believe in light from fires I believe I said something to the effect of You think Troy will allow physics to enter his game? In my defense, this is just the beautiful map that they made For the premium Gatewalkers package Otherwise, yeah, I probably wouldn't have given you light

Now let's take a look at it from Buggles' perspective Now you guys don't see this, but Buggles sees a circle of colored light, and then outside of that, everything is black and white, and sees the tree. And you can see the Gorgas? Okay. And then from my perspective, which we don't have to see, I see the little bits of sound

in the darkness. That's all I see, yeah. So cool. And then look at this little person here. My little fox? Yeah, your little fox. See it? I see, yeah. So cool. And then look at this little person here. My little fox? Yeah, your little fox. See it? I see it.

I see black and white. I can also see black and white. Oh. So I can see the creatures. As can Talitha. You have dark vision? Yeah. Oh, you're not supposed to.

Oh, I don't? Yeah, I just gave you a little fox token. You should have low light vision, but the fox has dark vision. Well, I am a fox. You are. Yeah, so actually. I can. I wonder if you do get.

Do they have dark vision or not? That's on your character sheet. No, but if I'm a fox, they might have it. I can look that up. Okay, well, then that would be accurate. That is interesting. You might want to say, is the fox the whole combat? Please don't.

In the meantime. Please, please don't. It is going to be one of the Temmager's turns. What? Temmager Gorgas. You guys learned this. It's a typical. It's a type of Gorgas.

Wait, say it again. You learned this in your studies. Temmager? Temmager. You don't remember learning? Never heard that word before. Temmager. Temmager?

You've never said it before. And there's no way for us to go back and play our understanding of these things, so. First thing it does, two action. Umbra Leap appears right next to Zephyr. I remember the umbral leap. Very scary. Right next to Zephyr and goes to bite at your shadow.

Give me a fortitude. That's right. These are like devastating. These rolls. Fortitude. Not bad. Math. 25. Oh, that's good That's good

5 You take no damage Nice Nice try Goes to fight your shadow Nothing It is now Asta's turn

Asta you are Asta we don't even know What you're playing Oh yeah that's true First combat I know your ancestry I know what she's playing Alright Matthew

Sydney always talks to Matthew. Okay. Feed me. It talks. I eat shadows. Okay, I am going to dismiss my fox form. First action. And what are you going to look like?

Are you going to look like your human form? Are you going to look like your vulpine form? My kitsune form? Are you going to look like your vulpine form? My kitsune form? I think I'll do... You have three forms. Full-blown human, kitsune, and then fox. And what's the kitsune form?

Like, what spell is it? What ability is it? Is it like... Or that's just your natural form? It's just my natural form. I don't think at this level, at least, I don't get any... I'll have to look into that, because I'm used to the human form stats, but... Okay. Human form. I don't think at this level, at least I don't get any... I'll have to look into that because I'm used to the human form stats, but... Okay. Human form. Human form, okay. The stats are the same.

I'll correct myself if I'm wrong. And I'm going to draw my katana. Okay. Now you'll notice you have low life. Oh, actually no, I'm not going to. Human, sorry. Dismiss my fox form first action and I'm going to cast a spell. Oh, I'm not going to. Sorry. Dismiss my fox form first action, and I'm going to cast a spell. Oh.

I'm going to cast... Go on, another cleric. Draw a katana or cast a spell. What are you talking about? A katana-wielded cleric? ¿Por qué no los dos, guys? Maybe she does it all. I'm going to cast Torturous Trauma at the gorga near Zephyr that's attacking her shadow.

So that is going to be torturous trauma. Remember a time. Do you know who Michael Vick is? Oh my god. Jesus. Wow. He said torturous trauma.

No! No! Oh no, sorry. Fortitude no. Oh, no, sorry. Fortitude save. Fortitude save. All right. I'm sure this is right by the book. All right, 16. I believe, shoot, where is my, oh, that just passes.

All right, now, does it have something that happens even on success? It's a basic save, so it's half damage. Half. So it's three points of bludgeoning damage. All right. It made that sound? Yes. Okay.

Why? And then I think she calls out. Everybody can see now, but she's like, Gorgas, three of them. Yeah. Zephyr never called out. It's really weird considering she saw them. I'm in watch, but I guess I'm Frozen and scared Are you trying to kill us all?

Two are in the shadows Specifically It is Talitha's turn It could be Buggles' turn No it's my turn I tied with Sydney You tied with Buggles too And Buggles

You got a 24 as well? Three way tie Oh because it was natural Three way Would you like to go first? Three-way. I will go first, actually, if that's all right with everyone. Oh, Matthew feels dumb.

Look at his dumb face. Look at that. Look at it. Shove a ravioli in his mouth. in his mouth. So, Bugles is going to paddle up along the perimeter of the

firelight, get into a decent position to produce flame. Zoom! At this thing. Oh, that's very good. That is a 26 to hit. That is a That is a

26 to hit That is a critical hit Huge! Awesome Critical hit, huge You guys fought one Gorga when you were first level Now you're fighting three It was a handful, excuse me, you fought two Now you're fighting three at second level

Let's see how much of a difference it is. 22 points of damage. 22 points of damage. And? And it is dead. Yes! Amazing. Awesome.

Holy shit. That's very helpful. We're a little more powerful now. Things got different at second level. Wow. That was great. All right, so now it is Talitha's turn. Don't you have anything else you can do?

That was my all three actions. That's what I thought, yeah. Talitha will delay. Delay for Talitha. Okay. Brother Ramius. Brother Ramius will delay. Very interesting.

He can't see them. He hears there's more in the trees, beyond the light, but he can't see them. He hears there's more in the trees, but he can't, or in the, beyond the light, but he can't see them. Stay in the light. Remember, they have concealment in the shadows. Stay in the light. All right.

And they have attacks of opportunity. Do not forget. Do not forget. They have air woes. They have air woes. This one, first action, moves 40 feet up to Asta. Uh-oh. And then is going to do a normal bite on Asta to start.

And that's going to be a 20 to hit. That hits. Okay, we still don't know what class Asta is, but we know she can cast spells, and she can also take seven points of piercing damage. We know she can cast. Ow. Let's see, let's narrow piercing damage. We know she can cast. Ow. Let's see, let's narrow it down.

Arcane or divine spells. Oh. That's torturous trauma. Let's narrow it down considerably. Arcane and divine. Hey. Yeah, it doesn't narrow it down at all. I just realized.

Final action will go to bite at your shadow. Give me a fortitude save. Oh. Oh, boy. Oh, 14. Oh. Oh boy. Ugh, 14. That's a failure. Alright, so you're going to take another

I don't know, what did you take the first time? Seven. You take another seven points of piercing damage and you see it get like beefier and stronger. Oh no. As it saps energy from your shadow. Eats it. Okay, that is its turn.

Any of you guys want to go? Are you going, Talitha? I'm just trying to decide. No, I'm going to hold. I'm going to continue to hold for at least another. You're going to continue to hold. Five, four, three, two. Okay.

Brother Ramius is going to step up. He's going to step up, reach out to... Oh, my God. He's going to step up and reach out to... Asta. Asta. Steve. And he sees you reaching down for a katana,

and he's going to reach down and say, Keeper, protect us through any means necessary. Meaning, like, who is this person? I don't even know who this is, but she seems like she's going to protect us, and he's going to cast magic weapon on your katana. So it'll turn your katana into a plus one striking katana. Dope!

Striking John. And you moved up to do that. Now it is the third Gorgas turn. That Gorga. Hello, Gorgas. I am going to umbral leap this one right next to Buggles. No. That's where I am. That's where I live. right next to Buggles. No! That's where I am.

That's where I live. No, not Buggles! And Buggles, give me a fortitude save. A fortitude save. It bites at your soul. That's one of my worst three saves. Oh, okay. That's not too bad. 21.

21? You're fine. Goes to bite at your shadow, and nothing happens. Awesome, awesome. We finish out the round with Zephyr, unless Talitha would like to go. Talitha will act. Talitha will draw her rapier,

because I was foraging. I assume I wasn't doing that with my sword. Okay. And then she will take a step and she will take a strike at this. Step and a strike. Natural 20. Oh, you're done.

Critical. You're done. Critical. Critical. Look at that beautiful little GCP logo. Oh, my goodness. That's nice. That's just nice. Okay, that is going to be a fan critical.

Fan critical from Bryce in Stirling, Scotland. Bryce? Stirling Castle. Bryce? He's at home in Stirling Castle in Scotland. I give a rating in. The weight of experience is this. Knowledge is power.

You know how to hurt things because you've spent a lot of time hurting things in the past. Truth hurts. Double damage and then add an additional amount of damage equal to your level multiplied by three. So plus six. So plus six. Okay. And then it has stuff for a monster if a monster pulls this critical. But yeah, that's it.

Just plus six bonus damage. Double damn plus flat six. And the rapier is deadly. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Okay, that'll be...

He's going to need a minute. 25 points of damage. And you kill it. Astor! Deletha! Oh, thank you. Wow. Thank you, Brace.

Brace. That was awesome. That up. I mean, that was just... It was going to be more than that, right? Did you roll the deadly and the plus six No that included the deadly I rolled a six on the d6 and a seven on the d8

Wow And you did not use Devise a strategy No I didn't have the action So yeah bold just like went for the strike Alright you done Okay Zephyr you were the one that spotted this In the role play of the scene, but slowest to act.

So I imagine there was a bit of a hesitation here. Yeah, like frozen with fear, but then the one that jumped up right in front of her, she was able to like parry or whatever. It doesn't have to be fear. Yeah. Or just surprise. Yeah. Just holding in the poop that's about to exit. But she had to focus on holding it in.

It doesn't have to be anything embarrassing. I don't want to poop in front of our new friend. I don't want to be scared. I'm supposed to be on watch, so maybe I'll just hold it. Like, wait, can I wait a little longer? And you're just, like, distracted thinking about it. It could be a problem with your bow. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I like that. Like, you can't get it strung. It could be a problem with your bow. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, I like that. You can't get it strung. You were whittling your arrows. You just can't get them strung. But no worries, because Bugle and Asta got it. So what I'm going to do is move. Asta got it. Asta.

Asta hit it for like three points. Three. I did do three damage. Oh, yeah, you did do three damage. Big, big hitter. Yes, Asta is the hero of the combat thus far. I did do three damage. Big, big hitter. Yes, Asta is the hero of the combat thus far. I said Buggles first. Okay. I'm going to move.

I'm moving away. Because I got my longbow. Now I'm 35 feet away. She's going to poop. She's going to move away. I'll be right back. I'm going to poop. She's going to move away. We'll be right back. Guys, I'll be right back. I've got to go.

You've got to get this under control. I'm going to go and choose a bush. You know when you just have to go. Don't mind me. I'm like, walk away like a sheriff. No. So I go away a little bit, and then I enter my monastic archer stance. One action. Second action.

Well, third action on my turn. Flurry of blows. Yeah. Flurry of blows. Bow, bow. Do I play my character again? Okay, here we go. Flurry of show me what you got.

Ooh, math. 22 to hit. That is a hit. Oh, guess what I get to do so with my new feat stunning this it does have the

incapacitation trait so if you are level 4 then that is affected I am not but thank you for asking sweet

so because I'm so much stronger than I was before my focused my focused power of my flurry threatens to overwhelm my opponent.

Say that three times. Wow, that is a real tongue twister. Don't make fun of this daughter. When I target the same creature with two strikes, so I guess I need to do the second one first. Yeah, well. If I target the same creature with two strikes from my flurry,

I can try to stun. If either strike hits and deals damage, I can try to stun. If either strike hits and deals damage, then you need to do a fortitude save. Alright, and one strike did hit. So let's resolve the second attack, and then we'll do Stunning Fist. First strike is going to hit. Second strike is probably not

going to hit. That's a natural seven. Gracie's weren't crazy. But you take the map on it, right? Yeah. So it's only a plus three. So that's a ten to hit. But you take the map on it, right? Yeah So it's only a plus three, so that's a ten to hit Alright, so that's a miss, but you did hit So you'll do damage on the first one, so roll that damage out Damage, damage

And then I'm wondering if Stunning Fist has a fortitude save It does I'll prep that save Okay, cool One, two, eight Let me just find my dice. It's like I'm brand new to playing this all over again. Three points of damage.

Three points of damage, and I rolled a 12. That's a fail against my class DC, so you are stunned one. Nice. Badass. Huge. Stunned one. Okay. Bringing up the stun condition once again. Stunned. You're going down. One. Okay. Bringing up the stun condition once again.

Stunned you become senseless. It's like slowed, but it's a little... But it goes away. It goes away, yeah. All right, great. So I am stunned one. Can I just say that Foundry is awesome? Yeah.

This, like, the way the light is pulsing the whole time, it just, it gets me so in the zone. Do you see the fire flickering? Yeah. Yeah. It's just so much more atmospheric than,

yes. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty great and these maps that they've, you know, juiced up for this adventure path

really make all the difference. For example, this map doesn't even exist in the adventure as written. They created it for the encounter. Wow. In the past, I would have to, like, just grab random garbage off the internet.

All right, so yeah, I've added the stun condition. You see those... Look at that. Oh, going around his head. Got a little purple Tinkerbell floating around his head. Top of round two, it's Asta's turn. Okay, you see Asta slide her foot back in the dirt, like slowly. She's doing this like intricate, almost like dance,

and her hands start to move, and I enter my arcane cascade stance. First action. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Then I spell strike. Oh. What? What did you say?

That's right. I'm a Magus. Oh! Oh! No! No! No! No! Yay!

We all know how well Maguses do on this show. Oh. Silence. A long and on this show. Silence. A long and storied history. Silence. I noticed a lot of boos and a lot of yeas, and Matthew said nothing. And I said I wasn't Magus. I was screaming from dismay for the enemy's perspective.

Because they're doomed. I said boos. I was saying boos. This is my first time playing this class. It's very exciting to me. There's a lot of fun stuff. So my spell strike, basically, I channel a spell into a punch or a weapon thrust for a combined attack. So I'm going to cast one of my cool spells.

Oh, which one? I'm going to cast Slashing Gust, which is like the air. I manipulate the air to do slashing damage. So I channel that into my katana. Okay, that would provoke an attack of opportunity. But you're stunned. And I don't see anything here that says I can't take a reaction while stunned.

Tits, I thought that was... So I am going to bite you. Ooh. And probably roll a natural 20. You really sure that's what you want to do? That's why? Because if you crit, she loses the spell. Yeah. And probably roll a natural 20. You really sure that's what you want to do that? That's why? Because if you crit, she loses the spell. Yeah.

That's true. This Norse foundry die. Will roll bad. I have yet to roll a natural 20 with it. And I've been just rolling. Rolled a few ones. Really thought that stun was going to. I haven't rolled a natural 20.

And I still haven't rolled a natural 20. But it might be a hit. It's going to be an 18. Miss! Oh! Wow. She moves her foot around. Phenomenal.

I feel like I rolled lower than that and hit you, Lazra. Nope, you didn't. So, okay. So I use my attack to roll. I just roll my normal attack with my katana to hit you. So let's see if I hit. Okay. This is very important.

Wait, when did you pick up the katana? Oh. Matthew. Oh, I can use my fist, though. Yeah. But I did roll a natural one. Welcome to the Glass Cannon Podcast, where nothing cool ever happens.

That's not true. Wait a minute. You don't have a katana on you? I didn't draw it. You specifically laid it down on the ground. No, no, no, no. I didn't draw it. It's back on me.

But I didn't draw my weapon. Yeah. So I can't use it. I think you laid it on the ground. Anyway, the forms on Paizo say you can't take reactions when you're stunned. I think that's first edition. Maybe. Yeah.

Hey, Kate, I love and appreciate you. No, no, no. I'm seeing what Kate's saying. It's second edition. But it is... I think we should wind it back. Yeah, I'm not 100%.

Yeah, they don't say anything about reactions specifically, so I was doing... I think we should wind it back because I rolled bad. No, we're going to have your fist miss. Your magical fist. That's weird.

This fist is gonna miss because your fist is gonna miss because your fist is gonna miss. Alright. This one, oh man. Swinging from Scotland to Australia. Let's go to Simon in

Wantierna, South Victoria. I'm sorry. Wantierna, South Victoria. I'm sorry. Wantierna, South in Victoria, Australia. Hi, Simon. Hi, Simon. The Scars of War. Ooh, I like the title.

Going on with your past. You've been doing this for too long. Every day just seems to be another battle against another foe and another chance to succumb to your wounds. You lose the motivation to keep doing this. You take your katana and stick it in your stomach. I seppuku myself. What does it say?

Sepuku. Your attack misses. And you must roll a will save. This is awful. Don't read further. It's like your first fight and you're like, I can't fucking do this, guys. This is embarrassing.

Yeah. I miss, I whiff, and I go, I can't do this. Very easily. Honestly, Siri, I give you a ton of credit. If I built a Magus as my backup character, and on my first spell strike, I rolled a natural one. This entire tray of dice would be over there. That's a nat 17 plus six. I mean, I'm assuming I pass

It is the creature's AC I'm sure the best It's a success not critical if it matters On a success you are slowed 1 For 2 rounds Okay not the worst What was failure? Failure was slowed 2 for 2 rounds

It's only 1 action a round And that would have completely destroyed her action economy. I imagine in this situation, this is like this is because of the magic. You know, it's like wild magic surging or whatever. And we're near the wild woods. Like, I just went to use a spell and it just

like, time got messed up. You know, like it was just like, whoa whoa whoa whoa. What is happening? Like shadows shifted. I stood up too fast. Yeah, I stood up too fast. What were those mushrooms that you foraged? That Brother Ramius gave you. I shouldn't have smoked that flay leaf. You took a hit. Taking that hit.

You took a hit. Run the tape back. Thank you, Simon. That was a good one. The gateway drug. You've been doing this for too long. The gateway way. We heard it. We just didn't laugh. Because it wasn't that funny. You doubled

down. I gotta give you credit for doubling down. I don't think they heard me. I'll say it again. If you didn't follow up, it would have been neatly cut out of the episode. But now... Now you're gonna see it on TikTok. Now you're to see it on TikTok. Now you're going to see it on TikTok!

Again and again and again. I sit down. Maybe she foresaw that she would be relentlessly mocked for repeating the joke, thus making it funny. Maybe she's doing it for the TikTok. Now it's like one of the top ten funniest moments in network history. There you go. I'm all over YouTube.

I'm sure this character's going to have a long storied history on this show. It sounds like it. It is a little bit embarrassing for your... I guess it's a second attack, right? I sure hope nobody saw that. I mean, I guarantee you, Brother Amius will never cast magic weapon on your sword again.

You don't even use it. What did you do? Reach down to the ground and you have this giant fucking katana at your side and you're punching the dog in the face. Thank you, Brother Ramius. I don't know what you did, but thank you.

I'm crying. I don't know what you did, but thank you. I've got a punch with absolutely no leg power in it whatsoever. The wrist, the terrible wrist. He's like, Skidley. Oh, that'll do it in. Is this how you do stunning fists? Like you're fly-pushing. She wasn't sure if she was going to punch or cast a spell, so she's kind of like...

Like the glass cannon, hello. It's going to be Buggle's turn right after this quick break! So it's still cold and flu season. Don't know what it's like for you all, but as someone with a small child in daycare, or really, I mean, I suppose this could apply to anyone who lives on this earth amongst people. It's been a little brutal with the constant stream of just illness. It's weird having a body actually is what I'm starting to think more and more as I get older. And I don't know, I mean, I felt like I wasn't doing a lot to kind of acknowledge that and support that. So when I started drinking AG1 daily, I felt like I was

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It really has become part of our routine to drink this AG1 every morning and to put our health first. And I think that's really important. And I think we might have convinced one or two people. Who knows? Voice gets higher. AG1 is the supplement I trust to provide the support my body needs daily. If you want to take ownership of your health, it starts with AG1.

Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3, K2, and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase. Go to drinkag1.com slash glasscanon. That's drinkag1.com slash glasscanon. Check it out. Buggles, can you please add some class and respect back to this combat? Okay. Buggles is not going to unleash his psyche. He is going to suppress Siakaa's presence.

Like, oh, no, I want to do this myself. And he is just going to fire off a ray of frost. Okay. That is an 11 to hit, so that's a miss. Yes. So he's just like, this glittering ray goes off in the darkness, and instead he's like,

he squints his eyes, and he uses a new ability. He is going to unleash a Psyburst at the creature. Really? So I'm going to need a Fortitude save from it. Fortitude save. Alright, I rolled a pretty poor Fortitude save last time. It's going to be a 19.

Okay, that's a successful save, so you take half damage. You take four points of bludgeoning damage as the raw power of my mind batters the inside of his skull. Okay. I didn't care for that. That's fun.

It's a board, you'd say. Yeah, it can do either. I can go against the mind. I can do mental damage or bludgeoning damage. Oh, that's awesome. That's very cool. Yeah, that's like... Having that kind of flexibility is huge. different enemies have different strengths and you could you could use

it against undead i guess yeah i can't yeah either way and it's nice having like this just third action thing that like automatically does something yeah yeah um all righty then. It is the Gorgas' turn, and the Gorga only has two actions at the start of his turn, but Stun will now go away. He has not used his Umbra Leap yet, and will use it to leap back into the darkness away from the party

so that he can come back next turn with more actions. It is Brother Ramius' turn. Tricky. Okay, seeing the creature jump back, Brother Ramius is... This is interesting. He's going to step back and away from Asta. He doesn't want to be in her aura of failure.

So he's going to create a little distance. I should put that on Asta. Yeah, do you have an aura of failure? I think I do have one. He's going to step back away from Asta, not knowing exactly where this creature is backing away, somewhat in fear, but also tactically, he wants to create more space.

And he is going to cast heal on Asta. So he will heal Asta. Thanks. That's her failure aura, by the way. That's her failure aura. Oh, come on. It's not that big. Amazing.

It's smaller and sadder. It's like a coin dropped in the ocean. That's how I feel right now. He will heal you for 16 hit points. Oh, I'm back up to full. Thank you. Max heal. If I did that right, which I think I did. Yes, so he will cast a heal.

So there you go. Awesome. Good for you and your heal. Talitha, you're up. Okay. Talitha is going to stealth up to behind this rock to see if she can stay out of the sight of the creature. Ooh, a little stealther. So I'll roll stealth, and I move at half speed, right,

if you're moving stealthily? Yeah, I believe so, yep. This is going to be against the perception DC of the John. All right, not a great roll. 12. Okay, you don't think you were very stealthy. All right. I'm going to commit 12. You don't think you were very stealthy. All right. I'm going to commit to it anyway.

Commit to the bit. And I'll get behind that rock, and that'll be my turn. Yeah, that'll be my turn. Okay. Zephyr. I already know about this thing. Damn it. This thing is behind rocks, so I don't have, like, line of sight, right?

Yeah. These rocks are really short. Yeah, I might not even have thought about that if Matthew didn't make such a big deal about the height of these rocks. Maybe I'm crouching down. That's why I'm moving so slowly. Did you hear the word crouch, kid? Just now I did. That's true.

You have to go around the rocks. Alright. I can't because I'm in my stance, and if I do, that means I need to drop my bow to exit the stance. And then what? Wait, I don't understand I'm in my stance and if I do that means I need to drop my bow to exit the stance and then what? Wait. Wait I don't understand what you're saying. Right? Isn't that what we decided? No you can move. I'm in my stance.

You can move freely. I can move in my stance. Yes. We figured all this out. It took a very very long time. Was I there? Yeah. For a couple times you weren't. You were on cannon fathers. Yeah the only thing we've decided is in order to get out of the stance, you have to drop or stow the bow. This was all for pizza.

This was at, didn't we talk about it at the? We talked about it multiple times. The restaurant. I'm not always listening. Yeah. Well, there was a pizza in the way. The pizza? There was a pizza in the way.

So you can move. If you want to get out of the stance, you've got to stow or drop the bow. I don't want to leave the stance, but I do want to move. Otherwise, you move. It does not break the stance. I want to move. That's the ruler. So straight north, 25 feet.

That's my movement. Get a clear shot on this creature, perhaps. And let me just double check with the ruler. Yes, 35 feet. You're outside my volley still, so that's a move. First action. Still in monastic Archer stance, so boom. Flurry

of blows again. Let's go. Flurry of blows. I'm going to try the roller on this John. 25! Oh! That's a hit! Nice! Now here's the thing.

I'm going to be able to try to stun you again. It is, I think you have to roll a flat check where it's in the darkness. Yeah. But she can see. No, you can't. Oh. She doesn't have darkvision. Oh, I thought she did.

Yeah, no, which you click on. If you're watching at home, you can see that that's just a little pool of John there. Yeah, any time you see that pool of John, you got to roll a flat check. Are we just going to let pool of John go unchecked? But it's also like, does it have an extra ability or that doesn't matter here because it's so dark? What do you mean? Doesn't the creature have an innate ability that gives a concealment in dim light? Yeah, basically it can always hide in dim light or darkness.

But that's an action. Hide, capital H. Got it. So it's DC 10 or 5? I believe in this case it's DC 10 because you can't see it at all. It's not like it's concealed. It's hidden from her, right? No, I think it's...

It's hidden. It's not undetected. It's hidden. It's hidden. It's a DC 11. All right, so it's hidden, not concealed. It's going to be DC 11 as opposed to DC 5. I believe so.

I mean, I know it's not DC 5. It's not DC 10, right? It's DC 11. Whenever it comes up, and I'll sit there and I'll read hidden, concealed, undetected, observed, and I always walk away and be like, got this! And then we get into the frozen, and I'm like, what is it again?

I don't got it! Alright, so DC 11. Come on. 13. There we go. Nice. All right, give me that sweet, sweet damage. So the damage is 1d8.

You did hit, though, right? And I did hit. Awesome. So that's five points of damage, and then you have to roll a fortitude save. Okay. Did you miss on the other attack? I did not roll that yet, actually.

That one's going to have a DC 11 as well. Yeah. Typically, you roll it first. You roll the flat check first. That makes sense. And that way you would know. You wouldn't get a crit. Be like, yeah!

And then... I prefer it the other way, just because then you're sad. Yeah, it is better for a show. Second attack. Just that moment of sadness. Just because it's Fortress for us individually doesn't make it better for the show, necessarily. Yeah, it does. But roll the flat check first.

I'll just do it all for you. Roll the flat check before I roll? You can do whatever you want. It's your character. It's the 70s, man. It's the 70s, man. Free love, free action. Listen, I just want to be Keep it 100

I rolled my second attack already On Demiplane Our lovely sponsor And did you know that you can roll natural ones On Demiplane I did So that Is that just a thing in the beta

Are they still our sponsors Here's the good thing you don't have to roll the flat check. Well, no, that was the flat check. Oh, yeah, that was the flat check. I don't think that's how it was. She was emotionally connected to that being need to hit. Please, Joe, let's use these. Nice, neat thing.

Paid for. Fan. Bumble! Swans range toy. I never liked ranged ones. They always hurt your friends. Yep. All right, this one from Ian in Rochester, New York. Hey, Rochester.

That's upstate of the state we live. You sure it's Ian? Because we have an Ike. Oh, it's Ike. No, it's Ian. Ian from Rochester. I got him. I got him.

Oh, it's Ike. Oh, I can't read. Panshot. I got him. Oh, it's Ike. Oh, I can't read. Panshot. Your ranged attack bounces off the armor of your foe, striking the nearest ally within 15 feet of your intended target. No one's near the intended target. Oh, that's right. Oh, that's right.

It moved away. Yeah, I'm 35 feet away from it. Nothing's within 15 feet. No one. Yep. Thank you so much, Ian. Thanks, Ian. Miss.

Thanks, Ian. Love you. Love you. Anyway, back to the fun part. Can you roll a fortitude save? Yeah. All right. 23.

Oh, that's a pass. All right. You're not stunned. We go. But I did roll the damage, right? Yes, you did. Okay. And he's hurt. And we're going to the top. Oh, right. You're not stunned. We go. But I did roll the damage, right? Yes, you did. Yes, okay. And he's hurt.

And we're going to the top. Oh, wait. I'm not done. Oh. I moved, and then I did Flurry of Blows once. That is correct. I'll be it for me. And then I have one more action.

I don't think I can do. Yeah, no, I can't. I'm just going to do one more strike. So my third strike with my longbow. Okay. Here we go. Very low chance to hit. That's a one.

It's not a natural one. It's a three, but then with all the negatives, it's an adjusted one. Dirty. Wow, okay. 31. 31. 31. You don't get too many dirty ones.

Now it's the top of round three, and during all of your turns, I did some research here on the Pathfinder 2e subreddit, which I imagine is as terrible as ours. But they did say, gaining and losing actions. This is from the Core Woodbrook. Some effects are even more restrictive. Certain abilities, instead of,

or in addition to changing the number of actions you can use, say specifically that you can't use reactions. Stunned does not say that. The most restrictive form of reducing actions is when effect states that you can't act. Can't act. Which is what it says. This means you can't use any actions or even speak. When you can't act, you don't regain your actions and reaction on your turn.

Yeah. Wait, so you're saying stunned does have that or it doesn't? It does. It says you can't act. So? So he couldn't have taken an AO. I couldn't have taken an AO, but it didn't hit you. But you could act because you only stunned one, right? So you had two actions. No, it's

you can't act, and then at the start of your turn, you regain your actions and you regain one less. Oh. I see, I see, I see. But you know what's weird is like it says, when you can't act, you don't regain your actions and reaction on your turn. That happened before my turn. Yeah, but stunned also specifically says,

doesn't it, when you regain your actions, you gain, stunned always has a value. Oh, yeah, when you regain your action, yeah. Yeah. So what it's saying is in that in-between time, you can act, you're stunned. AKA, you cannot take. But then the stunned. A.K.A. you cannot take. But then the stun comes off during your turn, and I think the way it manifests is you just have less actions.

You just have less actions. So if you're stunned two, you only have one action to do. If you're stunned three, that's basically stunned for a full round. Basically, a lot of things will say you lose your reaction, or it didn't say that. That's what I went by. But when it says you can't act while stunned, there's another thing in the core rulebook that says, if something says you can't act, this is what it means. And you're no longer, that's the thing,

as soon as you regain your actions, you're no longer stunned. You know what I mean? You lose that action and then you're not stunned anymore. But you missed anyway. I missed anyway, so it didn't matter. But it's just good to know next time if you're stunned, you... This has been rules chat. This is gonna happen a lot. Oh yeah. Rules chat. That's actually pretty wild, that like, if you're in the stance,

now at second level, any time you hit with Flurry of Blows, you can stun. If I target that same target twice and I hit at any time. Oh, it has to be the same target twice. Any of those hit, I have a chance. That's fantastic. That's great. Yeah, Stunning Fist is way better in second edition.

Dude, first edition was, like, once a day. What? And it never scaled up, I feel like. So after third level, you never use Stunning Fist. Once again, monks suck. 20. Well, you know who doesn't suck? Asta.

Asta. But you are slowed one. Yeah. Two rounds. This is the first. I am just going to move. Little snowflakes going around you because you're cold and slow. I'm going to move up towards this like bush and kind of just tuck behind it,

knowing that I'm slowed and I can't do much this round. And I'm going to draw my katana. Second action. So that's it. So I'm going to move and then draw my katana and just wait. And Brother Amius thinks in his head, she does use the katana. The katana's glowing. This woman is an enigma.

I don't want to hold you over the coals, but there seems to be a bit of a debate on where this katana was. Matthew seems to think it was on the ground. I could scoop it as I go. Well, you can spend an action to pick it up. What, did she drop it? No.

She very specifically. Matthew is... No, no, no. In your reality, it was on the ground. No, Matthew is correct. I had reality, it was on the ground. No, Matthew is correct. I had said I take my katana off. I was kneeling, and I laid it down.

Oh, that's right. It was like the ceremonial thing before you rested. It's her shtick. Do you see the way Kate visibly recoiled? In my reality, I wasn't fully listening. Matthew was correct. I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me. My reality is always what's most tactically advantageous to the players. And at no point. That is not. That's completely untrue. You just told a lie. Let's be honest, though.

It is actually a lie. At no point did you use an action to scoop up that sword. Now I did. You just scooped it up as you were walking away? From 40 feet? I heard you moved to the bush and drew your katana. No, no. I just scooped it up and I moved to the bush. So scoop, move to the bush. And that's

all my actions because I'm slowed. Scoop and move. The bush speaks? How's it going? I'm in a fight. Okay. How are you talking to a bush? How are you? I'm alright. What are you doing? It's God. What's your name?

Asta. And yours? Jim. Nice to meet you. And she brushes the bush and turns back to the group. We're all staring at her. Asta, what the hell? Why?

The bush never spoke. It's just the drugs. I'm ready. And now it's Buggles. Jim's here now. Jim's here. Jim's here now, everyone. We'll be okay.

Buggles. Jim's here now. Jim's here now, everyone. We'll be okay. Buggles toddles along to get into a better position. He sees what Asa's doing. That's it. Hugs, not drugs. He gets into position. And he is still not going to unleash Siak-a-ak. He's like, no, don't prove this to myself. Throws a produce flame at the creature.

Nice. And the flat check fails. Flat check. Oh, wait, no. I don't need the flat check because I have darkvision, right? Yes, you have darkvision. You can see it. All right, so that's a 15 to hit

That's a miss But it hits the grass and weeds and shit, right? Lights on fire and creates light all around the creature Fantastic idea, Skid Really worked out I like the way you play

The gorga turn, the gorga come up The gorga bite The gorga come up The gorga bite The gorga come up Buggles bite It's going to be a 24 to hit Yeah that's for sure Buggles Alright so Buggles gets bit by this gorga

For 6 points of piercing damage And then second action It takes a bite Out of your shadow Give me a fortitude Save me And then second action, it takes a bite out of your shadow. Give me a fortitude save. Fortitude save is a 21. You're all right.

He keeps pre-rolling the damage. He's ready. I'm ready for a crit fail. I got multiple D4s. All right. This thing is still kicking. Brother Ramius, it has reentered the light right at the fringe! Brother Ramius trying to bring his boldness

from nowhere. Actually, by the way, he rolled a natural 20 on the save against Flayleaf. So he was not, did not get any of the effects from it. He sobered right up. He comes up, he's going to say, away felt creature! And going to cast a divine lance

at this thing okay and try to strike it with some holy dimaggio let's go norse foundry oh that's an 18 okay um you have a nice clean shot on that uh back to the map. I would say you get a plus one cover, I would think. Still a hit. Beautiful. That is going to be six points of holy damage. Holy damage. All the damage. All the damage.

You've been getting too long. Holds out his hands. White light sears through and hits this creature right in the eye. Lights up the hole. Eyeball pulls. It is Talitha's turn. white light sears through and hits this creature right in the eye. Lights up the whole eyeball pools. It is Talitha's turn. Talitha is going to come back around the rock

to get into combat with the gorga. Oh, this thing is dead, Phil! Maybe not. She's first going to devise a stratagem. Natural 19. Nice. Do you want to use it for the attack? I think I'm going to use it for the attack, Joe. Thanks for checking. Hey, how about that? I cast Mage Armor.

Okay, so that will be a 27 to hit. That's a critical hit. Two attacks, two crits. That's crazy. Critical, critical, critical. She killed the first two within like 45 seconds. Yeah. And this one has been up and about. This will be my third crit on a Gorgon. Oh my god. Wow. That should like 45 seconds. Yeah. And this one has been up and about.

This will be my third crit on a Gorgon. Oh, my God. Wow. That should be an achievement. Yeah. You've unlocked it for like a bottle cap. Gorgon Slayer. You get the PlayStation badge.

Yeah. Comes up in the corner. Gorgon Slayer. Gorgon Slayer. Gorgon Slayer. All right. So I also get the extra D6 from my strategic strike. Yeah.

That won't be doubled, though, I believe. Yes. Right? Does it get doubled? Yeah. Everything gets doubled except the deadly die. Yep. Double D, double D.

Okay. Jeepers, dude. Stop. Some of us want to have fun, too. Save some for the children. Okay. So that will be 22 points of damage. Explode.

Yeah. All over Buggle's face. By the way, Brother Ramius, I'm going to give this to you. Actually, Asta, welcome to the group. The creature is now flat-footed until the beginning of my next turn. Asta goes like this with her katana. Like an anime.

And now all the Gorgas lie dead. And she nods. She winks to Jim. Bush winks back. Wink. It's very trippy. And she walks back over to the group. Oh, hey.

Hi. What did you do to that creature? Oh, hey. Hi. What did you do to that creature? You spoke some words and reached out a hand and it seemed to cripple from the inside. What was that? I damaged its internal organs.

What was it? It was a spell. Some dark magic? Where did you learn this? Don't tell them, Jim says. Jim, I... Is she talking to that bush? I have to. I can't be trusted.

Um, well, I studied for a long time in the Wildwoods. I know many different types of magic. Ah. Well, it seemed you tried to imbue your blade with the power of a spell. It seems somebody beat me to it. Thank you for that. I'm sorry I couldn't be more handy with it. Do you use it ever in fights? Or do you simply use it when cooking?

My katana? So rude. Really rude. She grips it. I don't know her. I'm just curious. I'm asking. Zephyr takes a step back.

Just to create your mise en place. Her katana. You should use it for chopping peppers. And then she sighs. And she laughs. That was a joke. That's a joke. It's been a long time since I've traveled with others.

I'm not used to fighting in such a large group. But you're also capable. Yes, Talitha, very impressive. Very impressive. Quite. Talitha gets very uncomfortable. Doesn't like compliments? No.

Well, this was an interesting night. That, yeah, that was pretty cool. Except for when you were talking to that bush. But, yeah, thanks. That was weird. All the things in the forest talk. We should make sure that there are no others around before we rest for the evening. I can walk the perimeter.

As will I. I won't be able to sleep until I do. I am blading. Oh, I'm so sorry, Buckles. Did not notice. Come here. I'll take care of you. Oh, thank you.

We'll patch you right up. And I will do... How far down are you? Six points. Six points. All right, so he'll do a treat wounds. Regular treat wounds. Oh, my God.

And I get it. Barely. On the... Thank you, Matthew. Thank you, Matthew. Thank you, Matthew. Totally unnecessary. Clearly unnecessary. 11 points of mundane medic healing.

Hatch me up expertly. There we go. Old better. I search the Gorgas' bodies for loot. You search the Gorgas' bodies for loot. They are lootless. However, the one that's laying on the ground

next to Zephyr and Brother Ramius and now you. It's a collar? It doesn't have a collar, but you do notice as it lies back dead, it's dark pools just still rotating.

Shining off the light is revealing like a mark on its neck that looks really familiar. And you point it out to the others and you all look and see a marking on its neck that is almost identical to the one you saw outside of your room

at the inn. It's a long person that kind of looks like a star. Star, man. Is it a brand? Was it burned into the creature's skin? Is it ink? Arcane mark? Is that the spell? It actually looks like it's scarred

directly into the skin of the creature. This creature's... He sicked his dogs on us. I wonder... Do you think he knows we are here? Do you think he knows where we are at all times? Seems like it. All times?

Perhaps we're not unobserved in this forest. Asta is correct, perhaps all. All the elements that are living in the forest do speak in some fashion. Do you think he will speak to one of us? You should call out to him right now. I wouldn't wish that upon any of us. Saw what happened to that kid. I know.

What do we do if it happens to one of us? We kill them. All heads swivel to ask. And then she looks and she smiles, her sharp tooth fanged smile. That was a joke. I'm joking too. I tell jokes a lot.

Careful, says Jim. Jim! They're wise to you. Good night. I said good night. I love you. She pets the bush. Never go to bed angry. Now, now.

Now, now, Jim. Now, now. If we ever sell action figures figures I want to sell a Jim Bush action figure we're running out of ideas Jim the Bush Jim the Bush you don't even need

how about just Jim Bush Jim Bush I want to see that on a box like a children's toy Bush is baked beans Jim Bush

it's just a bush I wonder if you could do like a little you could have like a little lever in the back where you can make the leaves kind of move like a mouth

like it's talking. The mouth, or it just winks. That's his action move. Brother Ramius. Yes. If we are approached, we need to be honest with one another. If anything speaks to us, it's too dangerous to hold any information. I know that I'm new, but it's far too dangerous.

Yes. Very good. What are you doing? He's grabbing his roach that he dropped by the campfire. Just like, just touching it into the edge of the fire. Bro, we all watch you. It will be important

if this happens to you. It will be important. If this happens to you, you must tell the others. We must swear to each other. Brother, you still have to do your watch at some point. I'll do it in the morning. I'll do it in the morning. We must promise each other.

If you hear his voice in your head You will tell someone I already said that I just said that I agree But I'm saying we should all agree You're just regurgitating what I said I say he always says this Does he do this every night?

It's because he thinks he's the boss Because he's older I don't think I don't think I'm the boss In fact, I've never been the boss We should have We should not be imbibing We should not be imbibing. We should not be imbibing so close to the Wildwoods.

This is fun. This is actually so strange to say it with these horrible creatures here, but this is the most fun that I've had in months. Thank you, Zephyr. You're always so honest. And you go to sleep. I'm going to bed. I'm going to bed. My watch is over.

If you didn't cut that off, you just kept going. I was waiting for Troy to end scene. The six of you fall asleep. Brother Ramius, Talitha, Buckles, Zephyr, Asta. He's so high. I'm still on. I don't think I'm the boss. Me too.

I'm the boss. Never been a boss. You go to sleep. Next day, get up. We just see your feet walking away from a campfire that's been doused. Bodies of three Gorgas already rotting in the distance. Retract whoever makes those, whoever's feet those are.

What? Retract them. It's our feet. Your feet. I was like, did you catch some of Brother Ramius? You're one hell of an investigator. Who's driving? I'm driving.

You make your way in the direction of Thinland's farms. Must be some connection. It's going to be a little bit of a trek. A couple hours into the day, I imagine you're all on high alert. Oh, yeah. For Gorgon attacks. Especially Ramius. Especially Ramius.

Do you think that they'll attack during the day? No, right? Be fine during the day. They certainly have an advantage at night. They do. I think, yeah, if I were them, I would wait until the sun went down. Did Pa get attacked during the day? It was the end of the day.

Yeah, it was the end of the day. He was returning from town, right? From the selling at the market. If it wasn't night, it was a crepuscular time. Yes. I believe they will only attack at night. We should be on watch for wild animals. And also

Asta is in her kitsune form because it's not useful to do a human form when they're traveling in the woods. It doesn't matter. But she warns everybody. I'll be traveling like this. And she just looks like a giant fox with nine tails. Like a humanoid fox person.

And she has fur and claws. I mean, you could describe it. Or we could just see it. What? There's another one? Oh, my God. Wow. Ooh. What? What? There's another one? Oh my God. Wow. Amazing.

It's so dope. She's so cool. It's so amazing. Oh, look at the nine tails. They're all white. Yeah. She's got this white fur and her big ears sprout from the top of her head. And she's still in her robes.

She still sort of has human form, but everything is covered in fur. Her fingers and nails grow even longer. Oh, my God. More claw-like. She has her katana still. But, yeah, these nine tails kind of just, like, go around her. Sometimes they wrap around her when she gets cold, but they kind of just, like, do their own thing. They're all just, like, moving around.

She looks like she's in a hair metal band. Yeah. Yeah. Big hair. Oh, yeah. Imagine, like, headbanging on stage. Yeah. It'd be crazy.

She'd be the lip-sync of her band. Cat dragged in. Nice. Look what the fox dragged in. Fox drag. So now I've added that to our party sidebar here as Asta in Asta Kitsune form. So cool.

Awesome. Pretty, pretty sweet. She pets Buggles on the head. Asta, have you spent your whole life in the Wildwood? Zephyr, she petted me. Oh, that's funny. I pet him with a tail. She touched me with a tail, Zephyr.

I wonder if maybe you could ride her. I don't know. Would she not like that? Are you growling at me? Could you ask for more? I can hear you. Hey, not like that? Are you growling at me? Could you ask her for me? I can hear you. Hey, Asta. She heard me.

Do you think Buggles could have just a little bit of a ride? She looks at everyone the way that they're looking. How is everyone looking at her when they ask this? Salithus thinks this sounds unspeakably rude. And isn't saying anything because it's so awkward. He's so afraid of horses and mules. I'm not calling

you a horse or a mule. It's like a dog, but friendly. Here's the thing. I'm not a dog. You don't ride dogs. I'm a kitsune. I'm not an animal. I'm... I'm sorry, just so fuzzy and pretty. Oh.

I just thought that maybe no that's okay you know what okay you know what fuck it and she

picks him up fuck it picks him up she's really strong she just picks him up and she puts him on her shoulders and her hair

is like flowing she just goes just grab my hair oh I feel like I'm tall as a person. He's just sort of like kicking at your shoulders.

How could you not want to give him everything? It's so cute. All right. And she gives Buggles a piggyback ride for a while. And...

Top of the world. Yeah, so now you don't even need the ox cart unless you're just dragging it along. But let's say you do because maybe...

I'm riding it. I'm driving it. You're driving it. Okay, great. We're going to need the ox cart unless you're just dragging it along. But let's say you do because maybe – I'm riding it. I'm driving it. You're driving it. Okay, great. We're going to need to bring back the bodies of the people who die in the next encounter. Yeah. That's true. That's true.

You're a few hours into the day. You're heading in the direction of the Wildwood, but the area where Thin Lands Farms is just kind of like to the northwest. And you have to go over a river, the Golden Rum River at a certain point. So you get to the riverbank, and it's a little wide, so you kind of have to choose which way you want to go, east or west.

You guys, I'm not going to make you roll these checks, but eventually you find a bridge that crosses it. And when you get to the other side, if you're all on high alert, which I assume you are, you notice someone with the distance by themselves kind of walking in your direction. And they see you, And, uh... They say, Hello, travelers! Uh, from whence do you come?

Hold. What do they look like? Stay close. Is he looking like a human? Looks like a human man. Hello there. We come from Seven Arches. Seven Arches! Yes! Good! I am from Seven Arches Seven Arches

Yes good I am from Seven Arches as well Perception check to see What the hell is going on with this guy Seems like he's lying 17 I'm going to do perception check Like on the sides of the road

20 7 I'm too busy talking to Buggles and getting him off my shoulders 26 On looking off the sides of the road to see if there's anybody hiding. 27. I'm too busy talking to Buggles and getting him off my shoulders. 26 on looking off the sides of the road. You don't see anyone else in the area. You feel like you're really taking in, and he's approaching very cautiously. I don't want to say he has his hands up in the air, but he's not, like, rushing at you. in the air, but he's not, like, rushing at you. I imagine meeting someone on the

road is frightening, especially during these times, but I am by myself, and I mean you no harm. I'm just, I'm looking for someone, and perhaps

you've seen a man. Perhaps we have. What does he look like? Skinny, handsome. He has a wooden septum piercing. He sometimes wears the garb of the rulers of Seven Arches. The Oak Stewards. Yes, the Oak Stewards.

He sometimes will have a headdress and everything, but I don't know. Who is this man in relation to you? A friend. And what's your name? Malkior. Malkior? Malkior? Malkior. Yeah, we know that name.

We know that name. This son of a bee. Take it to the notes. Scrolling up my notes. Going to find the thing. It's in here because I wrote it down because I was like, what the fuck is that name? I can't find it. I can't find it either.

I don't think you met or heard of anyone named Malkior. Yeah, I don't have that in my notes at all. What? We know this. Who is this man you're or heard of anyone named Alky. Yeah, I don't have that in my notes at all. What? We know this. Who is this man you're seeking? What is his name? His name is Vana. He is an oak steward.

And he went missing. And I'm trying to find him. Are you armed? I am. Let's see it. Pulls out three shotguns. I have a hunting license. Set them on the ground, please.

I just, I have a... Three shots. Just like, clang, clang, clang onto the ground. That's it. Oh, wait. A couple more. No, I, you want me to lay my weapons to the ground?'s it oh wait couple more no I you want me to lay my weapons to the ground

there's one of me and five of you you seem rather nervous sir I am cause there's one of me and five of you we are friendly I hope what were you doing in Seven Arches if I may ask

you may not we're on our way to the Thin Lens Farm alright ask? You may not. We're on our way to the Thin Lens Farm. All right. Have you seen a man, thin, possibly wearing the guise of an oak steward, wooden septum piercing? We've seen many oak stewards,

and not so many are friendly in these parts. Do you know if your friend is allied with those at Seven Arches, or with those who have rebelled against the authority there? Rebellion? He has nothing to do with that. So you know of it? I would know. Yes. Yes.

It's out there. He told me about it. Said that it was nothing to be too concerned about. Where are you coming from, sir? Coming from around here. I thought you said you were from Seven Arches. I live nearby Seven Arches. I don't live in the city.

I just want to find my friend. And if you don't know, could you please just let me go? Well, perhaps we can help you. How? Well, there's one of you, and there's seven of us. Or five. You can step out from the bushes now. Brother Ramius says.

To our two ninjas. She's still talking to the bush. One of you and there's seven of us. The bush is following her. I turn around. Just look around. Where'd everyone go? I'm back by the campfire.

We're not giving ass to drugs anymore. Really lingering effect. She's a lush. That's very thoughtful if you mean to help. Varner sounds familiar to me. Malkier also sounds familiar. I don't know why. I've never heard these names.

Varner. He's not the only one that's disappeared. When did he disappear? A week ago. I've kind of lost track of time. So not during the missing moment? No, but all of these things... Did you say it aloud or no?

Sure. Okay. Most of these disappearances started after that night. Most of them? Yes, he's not alone in disappearing. And I'm not talking just about the ones that walked through and never came back. I think there are people being taken.

And I think Vana is in danger. He wouldn't join up with this rebel cause. And he certainly didn't walk through any gate. I saw him after the missing moment. But he's gone. And I haven't given up hope. But I cannot find him. Do you think what happened to him...

Do you think what... Do you think... What am I trying to say? Do you think what happened to Hatria Pebblesworth could be what happened to Varner? I don't know who that is. People are dying. I know that. There are dying. I know that.

There are creatures. Gorgas attacking. A lot more than usual. And have you come into the Wildwood alone? I have. It's very brave. To look for your friend? Yes. Where does your friend live?

In Seven Arches. But you don't live in Seven Arches. No, no, I'm outside of town What does that mean, exactly? I just Do you live in a house? Is it nice? It's fine It's modest It's square footage

I just How many bathrooms? Two and a half Do you live alone? Yes Do you live in the Wildwoods? No I live just outside of Seven Arches.

Take us to your house. Feed us dinner. It's nowhere near here. Cook for us. It's nowhere near here. I've been walking... I don't believe you. ...for days trying to find my...

Well, we make our way to the Thin Lands Farms, where we believe some answers to these questions may be reached. You're welcome to travel with us, if you'd like. Yes, come with us. You can see if we find your friend along the way At least you would not be traveling the road alone You may rest your weary legs in our ox cart Don't mind the blood

In our ox cart We have an ox cart, we don't need it for the goblin anymore Oh, I've got new transportation You won't ride me again Oh, then we still need the cart I don't know what's going on I'm sorry, there's no cart for you, good luck That really turned around quickly Oh, then we still need the cart. I don't know what's going on. I'm sorry, there's no cart for you. Good luck.

That really turned around quickly. What is this farm that you're heading to? We don't know anything about it, but we do know it's called the Thin Lands Farm. We believe that there may be some answers there to questions about what's happening to the Oak Stewards and the others who have gone missing. And I'm sorry, we don't have time to waste. We must continue. If you'd like to come with us, you could get some have gone missing. And I'm sorry, we don't have time to waste. We must continue.

If you'd like to come with us, you could get some answers yourself. Perhaps your friend is there. Um, all right. All right, I'll try anything. One more question. Yes. Have you ever seen a very tall, thin creature? No.

Okay. Reception check to see if he's lying. I believe him. Natty, 19. Natty, 8. 22. 26. James, be telling the truth.

All right, Malkior. Your name is not menacing at all. Get in the cart. You shall join us at camp, and we shall sleep. Come with us or don't. We don't care. We have things to do. Wow.

Zephyr. Is that a tactic? Always on task. I'll come. Thank you. Of my own will. You're welcome to walk or ride in the cart. The cart is taken.

The cart's taken. I'm fine walking. Good squeeze. There's room. There's room, Talitha. Let's go. This is room, Talitha. Let's go. This is a very strange role play. This is very weird.

This guy, I mean. He has to be weird. Either. What? Like, honest dude looking for his friend. One man going alone into the Wildwood. Like, not really telling us anything. Or serial killer.

Yeah. I'm walking behind the cart. He's in telling us anything? Or serial killer. Yeah. I'm walking behind the cart. He's in it, right? Big serial killer vibe. Brother Ramius is going to trust. Maybe it's a star-crossed romance. Yeah. I thought that exactly.

He's going to choose to trust this guy. Buggles trusts him completely. It doesn't occur to him that anything could be off about this guy. Asta thinks something is off. Nobody travels into the Wildwoods alone. He won't tell us where he lives. He's walking.

He's not going to ride in the car. Okay. Asta will keep her hand on her katana and walk next to him. Okay. And Buggles is just chattering at him the whole time. He's just like, where are you from? Just. And he's a little shy.

He doesn't like too many personal questions, but he's polite enough. Is he a felon? Ex-convict? He just doesn't like talking about himself. Okay. Just wants to find his friend. And eventually... This is so creepy. It is creepy. You...

I'm trying to decide if it's creepy or just joyous. He's so happy that we brought him. He's really excited about something. He doesn't like any NPCs joining the party. He's just really enjoying playing. He's also not doing a voice for it, so maybe it that we brought him. He's really excited about something. This bothers me. He doesn't like any NPCs joining the party, so this is a problem. He's just really enjoying playing. He's also not doing a voice for it, so maybe it's easy for him. Maybe. Eventually it starts to get dark, but it's too early to be so dark.

Oh, God. Eclipse? It's just... Is it an eclipse? Is it raining? It's not an eclipse. It's just this part of the forest along the edge of the Wildwood is dark and desolate. It reminds you of that supernatural darkness you walked into when the Gorgas first fought you,

before the bleeding of the plains began to overtake you. You were told that the lonely, misshrouded moors pocked with sodden farms and villages stretched from the eastern edge of the wildwood to the Tymon border and even that made it sound more picturesque than what you see before you the land

is completely wild and unkempt but you keep walking following the directions you were given, and eventually you see a rickety old wooden fence with an archway over an opening, and the branches have all sort of been twisted in a way that spells out

thin land's farms. And you walk through the archway of Malkior, looking as well. Doesn't seem like he's ever been here. You walk through, and it's like a small ghost town out of Red Dead Redemption. There's, like, a couple people. There's a few small farms, like, just outside of...

I don't even want to call it a town square, because there's, like, eight buildings all together, and they just kind of... You't even want to call it a town square because there's like eight buildings all together and they just kind of you can tell they're staring at you from underneath these large wide brimmed hats you see a town hall, a post office

and a little saloon up ahead what do you do? how many people would you say are out and about? Some people like away from the area where you're walking and like maybe three. You see one or two at a house.

One kind of like near a post where you would tie up a horse. Well, I'll ride my horse up to the post and greet the person at the post. Hello there. Guy looks at you.

You don't even see his face, but he looks almost like a child. His skin is like perfect underneath the brim of his hat, but he's a man I mean he's as tall if not taller than you we come from seven arches we're hoping we might find accommodations here just nods towards

the saloon, grabs his horse, and walks away. It's rude, but all right. Yeah, so she'll spur her horse to kind of park over by the saloon. Park over by the saloon. Tie it up over by the saloon. And they go inside.

You go over to the saloon. You walk in. Those doors. Everybody looks up in the shadows. Nursing various brown liquors. There's a bartender. He's got his back to you. Cleaning glasses.

You walk up and he's got filthy clothes on. He turns around and he's got filthy clothes on, and he turns around, and he is this, like, beautiful man. Older, like 60, 65, but he's got unbelievable skin and striking blue eyes. And he just looks at you and says, we ain't got nothing fancy here. And we'll see you next week.

Dude, what is this place? Why is everyone baby face? Why is everyone beautiful? That's the baby face. That's the creepiest part. Nothing gives me out more than beauty. Good soil, good skin. A town full of like models.

Ugh! Horror! Models! I'll play models. Ugh! Horror! Models! Play again. Ugh! It's time to make your membership official. Become an official member of the Niche today at jointheniche.com. That's jointheniche.com, where you'll get access to exclusive podcasts and live streams you can't find anywhere else.

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