The Glass Cannon Podcast - Gatewalkers Episode 22 – An Inconvenient Tooth Fairy Swarm

Episode Date: February 16, 2024

Upon entering the enormous First World tree stump, the heroes are pestered by a horrifying swarm. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/uxc_o3f6Rz4 This episode was sponsored by Demiplane, Foundry VTT and Norse Foundry. Check out Demiplane's Pathfinder Nexus and character creation tools at https://bit.ly/GCNOfficialTools See why tabletop gamers everywhere have made the switch to Foundry Virtual Tabletop at https://foundryvtt.com/gcp Visit https://PrizePicks.com/GCP and use code "GCP" for a first deposit match up to $100. Visit https://nordvpn.com/GCP to get 4 extra months on the 2-year plan and try it risk-free with a 30-day money-back guarantee. Visit https://loremasters.com to learn more about the game or download today from the Apple app store or Google Play. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for hundreds of hours of exclusive shows and benefits, make your membership official and join Glass Cannon Nation today by becoming a subscriber at jointhenaish.com. Watch new episodes when they premiere every Thursday at 8PM ET on youtube.com/theglasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment last week on the glass cannon podcast your monkey shadow owl will go first all of you see out of your peripheral vision monsters coming out of the shadows around you. Do not fear them! You are protected by the Keeper and his guidance! You're all gonna take six points of

mental damage as these visions seem all too real. Asta, we need your blade! I think Asta is pissed and she's just gonna rip out of these brambles and just run full speed. And I'm gonna do my spell strike. Yes! Yes! 27 to speed. And I'm gonna do my spell strike. Yes, yes.

27 to hit. And you kill it. Yes! This door stands in front of you just as invitingly as the stump did when first you entered Nighthold. I don't think we should just open the door. Talitha opens the door.

Ah, Talitha. Fist-sized tunnels riddle the walls and ceiling. Ceiling's about 12 feet high. That's a bad sign. But some of the holes are full of what look like pearls. I want to look at the pearls. As you're looking at them, you realize they aren't pearls. They're humanoid teeth.

Ah! And it's at that moment that all of you hear a buzzing sound. And you see, coming out of the walls, the ceiling, and the statue itself, like all these tiny little

winged creatures that form together into one large swarm. They're all holding pliers. Oh, no! The adventure continues. Now. Thank you. hey everybody welcome back to the glass cannon podcast seconds ago sydney just got mad at matthew and said piss on your own ass. What were you even mad about?

What made you say that? Didn't think that would make it to air. What did he do to you to make you ask him to piss on his own ass? It was a totally proportional response. I had a cup on the table and I was ready to record. We're all getting in the zone. Troy's taking a big breath in about to start and Matthew just goes. Because you were using a non-branded cup?

Yeah. How dare you? And I got so mad. I'm sorry that I said it. I shouldn't have started off today like that. I'm your friend. I don't have to tell you stuff like piss on your ass and sit me ask you this. And sit on it and ruminate in it. I don't have to say stuff like that.

I have to know. Is this a common thing you throw at people? Or are you just like, let me think of two words that throw them together. She's just combining phrases. Right. Piss on your ass. Have you ever asked anyone to piss on their own ass? Have you guys ever been so flabbergasted in a moment of just stupid anger? Like driving.

I feel like driving really brings it out like a road rage. Have you ever said something and then you're like, what the, what was, what does that even mean? And what was that? Do you remember? Yeah, I've driven in a car with Troy. It gets pretty creative. I really yelled at an old lady the other day

who was not going too slow to merge. And then I realized it was an old lady. And I was like, I just said something horrible to her. Now she couldn't hear me. No. But I did get some. Because she was old. You know, I think it was. Was lady. And I was like, I just said something horrible to her. Now, she couldn't hear me. No. Because she was old. Was it piss on your ass? I think it was the last.

Not because I shouted it. I rolled down my window and screamed out of it. But she still couldn't hear me. So I'm ramming her, right? Ramming her right on the shoulder. She's grinding against the. Sparks are flying. Sparks are flying everywhere.

I don't get road rage. However. That's not true. Go on. But I did have some the other day, and it was actually the last time I was driving home from the studio. I was driving home, and I was excited. We had a good sesh. And I was getting onto an exit, and someone came in like three lanes over and come right in front of me to the point where I had to slam on my brakes.

And I was guaranteed. I was like, well, this is an accident. And somehow I didn't. And then when I pulled up right beside them and I just went I was like, what is that? It's like the 1980s anger, but I was so mad. I just wanted them to know, fuck you.

And it was an old lady. But she almost caused a 10-car pileup. She should know that she has to give up her license. Craziest, craziest road rage story. I should have been like, hey, piss on your own ass! I do! Stop some dead in their tracks. I do! I do!

I don't think you should ever say piss on your own ass in a moment of road rage, because it's so confusing that it could cause a further accident. Why would I? How could I? Sheer mechanics. I think there's also, there's a new alternative to the flipping people off in traffic. It's the thumbs down. Oh, that's nice.

I think it hurts worse. Like a walk by is like. It's like I'm not angry. I'm disappointed. Yeah hurts worse. It's like you walk by, it's like, I'm not angry. I'm disappointed. Yeah, exactly. It's way more judgmental. I feel the sting just didn't matter. It's like how you need another horn.

It's so much worse. It's like social media in real life. It's like, dislike your action. Bad. We should do that to each other When like someone has a really shitty turn Just be like Because that really cuts to the core You can't say anything

You just have to quietly Or like you're doing a role play And you're like really trying to do something good And you're like Stumble a little bit You know The whole table is like You're trying to have a moment And you like stumble a little bit, you know? And so he's just like, the whole table is like, so deflating. You're trying to have a moment in your scene partner.

Right. Yeah. Is it worse if you do the gentle look of disapproval? Or is it worse if you just do stone-faced? It's just like this, you mean? To someone? I think the disapproval just adds to it, just kind of. Yeah.

Yeah. You let them know, like, yeah, it's really bad. I don't know. I think the stone face is like, I don't really even care. I'm just dispassionately telling you, that sucked. That's worse. That's better when you're driving, too, because you're not mad. There's no anger in your eyes.

It's simply... You're just a bad driver. You did a bad job. That merge you did? Bad job on merge you did bad job on you bad job really bad i don't think we're taking enough time to talk about the science of pissing on one's own ass so yeah i yeah how does it begin troy said something interesting i'll get back to you all troy said a lot of tuck a lot of tucking and turning guys twisting yeah for you guys for us i mean after using a toilet that somebody else used, possible something's going to happen there anyway. Right. I think it would be pretty easy. Yeah.

But for a gentleman. From someone else's. Then I'm not pissing on my own ass. Piss on your ass. No, there's piss on your ass. Piss on your ass. Oh, sorry. So the piss is a noun, not a verb. Right. Yeah, it's not a verb. It may not be a verb. It can go either way. I just have to get someone's piss. Piss on your ass.

It's kind of like, it's like someone's piss. Piss on your ass. Yeah, it's kind of like. It's like a wish. By Neptune's dragon. That piss would manifest on your ass. You know what I like saying? It's either a command or a wish. Go on. It has to do with piss.

Go ahead. It's an expletive. Go on. I love saying, ooh, this boils my piss. Ooh. Right? Never heard of that one. That's new.

I watched this Northern English. I was going to say, is that Scottish? Simmer play The Sims. And when she gets pissed, which is all the time, she says, ooh, that boils my piss. But she says it in her accent. And it's hilarious. I like that. I like that better.

I like the British expression. I think it's British where it's like, I was just taking the piss out of him. That's a fun one. It's good. Because we do that all the time, but we can't call it that. It is your reason for being. Yes. I like the way they talk about it.

Busting balls. It's the American busting balls. We're allowed to say it. Yes. I like the way they talk about it. Busting balls. It's the American busting balls. We're allowed to say it. Yeah. You guys can't say it. What can you say? We already said it. No need.

The listeners know. Pause for edit. Did you hear what they said? Was it appropriate? Kate dropped a really hard C word. I mean, she like landed it. British people say that word beautifully. Oh, yes.

All the time. I like the British getting pissed. I love that. Oh, yes. All the time. I like the British getting pissed. I love that. Oh, yeah. Getting drunk. Getting pissed is great. That's a good. See, there's a lot of really good piss phrases.

We don't say piss often enough. She pissed on me and I got aroused. That's a common. I don't think you understood the assignment. I didn't hear what she said. That's a Troyism. When the British say it, it's much prettier. She pissed on me and I got aroused.

That was offensive to a lot of groups of people. Is that a yum you can yuck Matthew piss play? Oh no, I'm not yumming or yucking the piss play. I'm yucking your accent work. Sorry. I was using the voice accent work. Ah, yes. Sorry. Sorry. I was using the voice of someone who's into that. Is that part of your desired piss play, is that you have to

speak to each other in bad cockney? That's fun. I mean, that really takes things to the next level. Yeah, that's true role play. Takes the piss out of the pissing arm itself. Excuse! You don't like talking about piss and poo so much. I always noticed that. There was a Giant Slayer episode that involved dung that you really didn't like. Does it carry over to piss as well?

My mood can vary. I think we thought about wraps are up. All right. This band. I had a good time. For the listening audience, everyone but Kate did a thumbs down we'll be right back what's going on everybody you know that we love playing

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And there's no risk with Nord's 30-day money-back guarantee. And you'll help support your best good buddy pals at the GCP. The link is in the episode description box. good buddy pals at the GCP. The link is in the episode description box. Well, we've started in the pisser. That's another expression.

And now we're going to go into the opposite of the pisser because this is going to be a humdinger. Kate, I'd like you to give a summary of last episode. I thought you were going to ask a definition of humdinger. I can totally do this. I'm just going to get my notes. Your copious notes. So we're in this

like colorless place. Is it the thin lands? It's like muted. It's not even colorless so much as like everything's muted. Yeah, it's not black and white, but it's dull and the ground's moving a bit

and the mountains are like far away, but it's dull, and the ground's moving a bit, and the mountains are far away. But it's never-ending story vibes where the mountains crumble, and trees immediately grow. And we see a giant tree stump far away. Very, very big, and it beckons us. That's right. Talitha, you knew that we were in Nighthold. She's smart. Fun, interesting, fast She's smart Traits, the stump was a few hours away from the path

We tried to walk off the path that would bring us back That was wild Once we got to the stump There were like thorn trees Very thick around the base And then the stump was broken at the top at a strange angle. And there's like an ornate wooden door like kind of further away from us

with a small paper lamp. So of course we're going to walk up to it and we see a creature. It's a skeletal owl, but also simian. And the eyes are like two black shadow pools. It's a type of gorga. I forget what kind.

A temager? Oh, no, that's right. Oculi gorga. The dog ones, the hounds were temager gorgas, and this was an oculi gorga. And as we fight, the thorns would keep pulling us in as we try to move, which sucked. It was like the gorga had this aura that disoriented you.

Their whole jam is like messing with your senses, so you feel like you're getting lost in the dark. This whole realm has sort of a nightmare feel, and that's its jam, is like that playing upon the fear of getting lost in the dark. So you'd think you were moving one way, and all of a sudden you'd find yourself moving into the thorns, and it was causing significant damage to,

especially I think it was Asta and Talitha were getting the real front end of it. But Asta ended up killing it, which was cool. It was unfortunate I think I didn't get to call it a sticky wicket, because it is a textbook sticky wicket. More of a thorny wicket, but sure. Thorn sticky. But yeah, we haphazardly, is that my using that word right? We just kind of go and open the door, which is always a good word for us.

Recklessly? Recklessly. Incautiously? Heedlessly? Heedlessly. Nice. Yes, thank you, everyone. Stupidly?

We made a choice, and we just opened the door, and I hate these notes. There are fist-sized holes in the wall, glow worms on the ceiling, a wooden creepy statue that has holes in it that are filled with humanoid teeth. And then suddenly, tiny winged creatures come out from the holes in the wall, swarm around us, and they have pliers in their hands. Pliers. Come on. To pull your teeth out.

I thought you used the wrong word at first. I was like, I don't think Troy knows what pliers are. And then when I started putting together what was happening, I was like, this is awful. That's horrible. Why do you hate those notes? Those were great notes. Because I think about the holes

with the teeth in them and then the bugs with the pliers. That's what they look like. They're like the tooth fairy things from Hellboy. Yeah, they're very, I mean, what else could you call them except tooth fairies? This is what I'm going to tell my kids is the tooth fairy. In fact, let's be honest, it's a tooth fairy swarm. Roll for initiative.

Nobody likes a swarm! No one likes a swarm! Oh, man. This roll for initiative is brought to you by Demiplane. Norse Foundry. I was rolling so well before we went on air, and then I just

rolled like absolute dog poop. Dog piss. Dog piss. Pardon me, dog piss. My roll has boiled my piss. Oh man, I'm right there with you. Yes, thank you, Joe. I forgot to mention our amazing sponsors, Demiplane Foundry VTT, and of course, Norse Foundry, for all your random number

generating needs. What random numbers did you generate? Buggles. 19. 19 for old bugs. Brother Ramius. 12. 12.

Sorry, I had a hard time getting that one out. I know we've been playing this game. I know we've been playing this game for a long time, and maybe this is something you already know, so forgive me, but the object is to roll high. Yes, that's the goal, Matthew. You're playing incorrectly. You're playing incorrectly. Talitha, what'd you get? You want to go earlier in the round. Yes. Yes. That's the goal, Matthew. You're playing incorrectly. You're playing incorrectly.

Talitha, what'd you get? You want to go earlier in the round. Yes. Yes. 19 as well. 19 as well. Must be nice. In well. Remember in well. Zephyr? That's an adjusted six. Remember,

it can always get worst. Worst? It can always get liver worst. It can't get Worse? It can always get liver worse. It can't get much worse. It can't get much worse. Asta. Solid nine. Oh, man. Terrible.

That is real bad. What did you roll, Troy? 25. Oh, no. I do it all. Have you rolled a low initiative in Gatewalkers to your memory? I have. I have.

I have. I mean, I let the, I use the online roller on FoundryVTT. Really? Yeah. It saves a lot of time. So the online roller prefers the monsters. Yes. Unless it rolls low, and then I roll by hand, and I just keep rolling

until I get something above 17. So you get the number that you want. Something above 17. Then I add the modifier and it's usually in the 30s. No, that's not true. Not always. But yeah, low one today, 25. Yeah, low 25.

But no, it saves me a lot of time to just do it that way. All right, so here's what's going to happen. The Tooth Fairy Swarm. You know, one thing we didn't mention, or forgot to mention, is that this statue is this ominous statue with, like, didn't I say it had, like, a tiger sort of pattern on its skin? And you were wondering, like, is this Kniepo? And it had all these holes in it with these teeth.

All right, so I am going to move 20 feet. And I want to move in such a way that I swarm over multiple of you. And so that... No! I see that way, and it includes Brother Ramius. It's just funny, where you guys are standing makes it a little bit tricky. Oh, yeah. No, okay, never mind. Yeah, you

could totally get Tully Thin Zephyr. Yeah, I don't think I can get more than one of you What? Let me see It's based on your movement speed I see Don't you not have to take an action? Right, but I have to move to get on you

And then I need you to roll a save Right, but can't you just double move? And get more people? He wants to swarm on you It's not an action Why are you helping people? He wants to swarm on you. It's not an action. Why are you helping him? Let him have a bad turn. Yeah. Bad call by you, Troy.

Just do what it is. I have enough actions, Joe. Thank you. That's a really good point. I'm going to move a little further. That is hard when you... Oh, man. That was four thumbs down from three people. I am going to double move That is hard when you've... Oh, man, that was four thumbs down from three people. Okay, yeah. That's pretty brutal.

You do the math. I am going to double move so that I can be on both Ramius and Talitha. Now, do either of you have an attack of opportunity? No, Talitha does not. Okay. I was just going to move after this. I have a prayer of opportunity. Both of you give me a basic reflex save.

You know what? Brother Ramius just crushes reflex. Come on, Brother Ramius. This is going to be big. This is going to be big, Nordsfaldry! What'd you get, happy boy? 22. 22.

All right, you're going to take four points of bludgeoning damage. That ain't nothing. They're like pinching your fingers, your nose, your ears. Just like grabbing at you with these pliers, like kind of pinching at you, but they're trying to get at your mouth. That is so terrifying. Swatting them away. What did you get? 12.

12. All right, so you're going to take eight points of damage. Oh, man. Same thing. They're like trying to grab at your face, and you're just swatting them away, and they're pinching you, and it hurts. I'm just going to imitate my daughter when we try to brush her teeth, which is this girl.

Just close up shot. We do this twice a day, every day. It is Buggle's turn. Unless Talitha would like to go, you guys decide. Buggle, you go first. I'll go first. I am going to enact the errata feature for the psychic class.

Nice. I'm going to start using the errata, the changed psychic cantrips for my class. How erotic. It is highly erotic. So the first thing. So a couple of things change a little bit. So the first thing So a couple of things change a little bit And I've been excited about this

Because as I've mentioned I've been watching Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood And one of the spells Is definitely inspired By Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood Because The produce flame cantrip that I had Has now changed to a cantrip called Ignition

And If I read the description here, it says you snap your fingers and point at a target which begins to smolder. Yes! Let's go! That's amazing. That's so good. Which is Roy Mustang from, yeah, so

his powers are morphing a little bit. They're evolving. And so he looks at this crowd of this flock of these awful creatures, and he just, like, snaps his fingers, and poof, there's an explosion of flame that is an 18 to hit.

18 to hit. Hits. Okay. And is this area damage or splash damage? This, well, that's a good question. I don't, this is, it's against a target, so. Okay. But it doesn't have the.

There's no. So it's against a target. It would have splash damage if I had my psyche activated, which I can't yet. I could amp it, but. Okay, great. Okay. Ooh. That is six points of damage.

Six points of what kind of damage? Fire. Fire damage. Okay, great. And then I'm going to raise my... You see a couple of them just shrivel up and fall and hit the ground. Nice. Like sizzling. But they're still like... Little screams. Hundreds of them. Alright, it is now Talitha's turn.

Okay, I can... Just, so I can just... Just a couple hundred to go. Here's three of them with a rapier. The reason I was confused is when you said that my mind went to a couple hundred teeth to go. Extraction, all of us. Okay, Talitha's

just going to step out of the swarm. And just so you know, you don't have to do that to attack them if you don't want to. They share your space, And just so you know, you don't have to do that to attack them if you don't want to. They share your space, you can attack them, but you don't know what kind of powers they have to do. I want to move. I want to decide to come after me. And pull it off. If it's going to come after me, it can only be on me

and not Brother Ramius and Zephyr. Right, space it out so they can't take you and Zephyr or you and Ramius. Yes, so I'm going to devise a stratagem and not attack, but I will use that opportunity to do my known weakness. We'll get a free recall knowledge. So when you decide not to attack, you're looking at it and you think, oh, I can't.

There's no way. I don't see a stratagem. Yeah, that's cool. I don't have a good one. And then I rolled my known weakness, recall knowledge, and rolled a natural one. What are these giraffes doing? Tiny giraffes! I could spend my final action to just roll another recall knowledge, right?

You stepped, you devised a stratagem, and you... Oh, that's a free action. It's part of the devise. But there's no reason I can't try again. This is something we talked about. Yeah, like once you recall knowledge, that represents all the knowledge you know. But that's how it was in 1E when it didn't cause an action. Now it's like, I mean, there's a trade-off of your spending an action to do it.

And we discussed this on the phone. The thing is, when you're thinking about stuff you remember, you don't instantly remember everything that you know about a certain subject. Sometimes it takes you some time to recall stuff. So I think if you're spending the action, you should be able to make another attempt. Yeah, and I think that's the argument that we talked about on Cannon Fodder is that people have spoken about that. Well, really, I think the main argument is more checks should be allowed if something is materially changed. Like if you have access to more information, like a library.

Or if it's not this swarm, it's a different swarm that kind of is like it, right? Like unique checks against a creature versus all tooth fairies, right? Like that kind of concept. Oh, here we go. Additional knowledge. Sometimes a character might want to follow up on a check to recall knowledge, rolling another check to discover more information. After a success, further uses of recall knowledge can yield more information, but you should adjust the difficulty to be higher for each

attempt. Once a character has attempted an incredibly hard check or failed a check, further attempts are fruitless. The character has recalled everything they know about the subject. So I'm not going to do that. But I agree with what Skid's saying. He's like, well, you could pay the action. That's the trade-off, but I think there's a reason for the intention. But if you, like, fail

initially, then it's like you might just not know anything. I think that the die roll represents that you don't know this. You would need to research it somewhere else to know more about it. With the flexibility of what knowledge you can roll in 2e2,

I think I can make things. Now I'm going to comb through my knowledge of occultism. Instead, I'll just do a straight ahead uh straight ahead attack action uh with my rapier which is the worst i don't think you can do that because i believe you have to use the role for a strike like for your next strike if you devise a strategy just double check me yeah you're right so yeah i will instead you know what's i will instead Walk back into the swarm I'll walk back into the swarm

Just make it easier on him You have the action I'll stay where I am And Talitha is going to Talitha Talitha is going to sheath her rapier Ah interesting Here come the fists

I'm giving up And opening your mouth rapier. Ah, interesting. Here come the fists. I'm giving up. Can you put your hands up? And opening your mouth. Take them. Go to town. Brother Ramius, you are up. Meta question. Double move and then an action to do what they did to us?

That's what it felt like. Okay. You know what? I'm going to spend the recall knowledge. So I'm going to, with these things swarming down on me, I'm going to try to see, like, as they were coming at me, what I can learn about what they are, what they do, or if I've ever read anything about them. All right, so it's going to be nature, unless you have some sort of other applicable lore you want to pitch me.

No, nature works for me. I will roll a nature. Here we go. Boop, boop, doo. That is a 19. Here we go. Boop, boop, doo. That is a 19. Okay. This is indeed a tooth fairy swarm. You know you're in the place of nightmares.

It's a place that has been constructed not completely, but by like people's dreams. And if you are in Kniepo the Slim's lair and he's been tormenting children, like, what are they afraid of? That becomes part of this getting their teeth pulled it's horrible

it's horrible also like think about how often in your life at least for me plenty of times you have the teeth falling out dream like I've yeah I've had teeth falling out dreams multiple times yep classic stress dream it's a classic stress sexual frustration really

Freud I have teeth falling out dreams every day It's a classic stress dream. It's a classic stress dream. Sexual frustration. Really? That's what Freud would say. I have teeth pouring out dreams every day. That's sexual frustration, according to Freud. It's a very dream, nightmare kind of thing. I can tell you one thing. Do you want to know? Do you want to know?

Oh, man, they're both good. They're both good That I could tell you Take option A Here's what I'm going to tell you based on where you are right now You do not want to finish your turn in their space That is a good thing to know And that changes my John Jamski Yep Alright

Don't laugh at me You said John Jamski How does it take you seriously As an artist and performer Alright I will move out of there Then He knows he wants to duck out Okay

Then let's see Um Alright I'm gonna Yeah I'll duck out of there toward the back of the room. He puts his back up against the wall. He's looking through the swarm at... Let's see. At Zephyr.

Zephyr's on the other side of the swarm. There's a cool moment. There's just all these things flying, and you see Zephyr. And he's just going to say, There! There's a couple of them there near the top! And he'll do an aid for Zephyr with a perception to see if he can help her attack,

if she's going to attack. All right, so you're going to try and help Zephyr. Meanwhile, it's Asta's turn. Asta, you are on the west side of the room here, about 15 feet away from the swarm all by yourself.

Oh, and he'll also share like, don't end your turn in the swarm. Don't end your turn. Which sounds ridiculous. Yeah. But don't stand in the swamp for more than a second. But Asta understands, because we've been working together for so long now. Would you have considered staying in there to not have to use the action?

Yeah, I was going to cast a spell that took two actions, and I was using the recall knowledge to see if that spell would be useless or not. You know, can I get a sense? And with that, I was like, well, now I got to get out of here. I pretended to help Matthew by letting him know, you don't have to leave the swarm, hoping that you would stay in the swarm. It seemed like it would have worked. Also, is that like really useful information?

Or like, could you tell me like what happens when you stay in the swarm? They have the ability to pry your teeth out. Okay, so if you're there when you start, when they start their turn. Gotcha. Yeah, because it takes multiple actions, and they don't have the action economy if they have to move as well. Makes sense. Okay, cool.

All right. So Asta has her katana out because she was traveling with it, but now I'm doing that classic thing with my new mages class that I'm constantly learning and trying to do the right thing in battle. I'm doing that thing where if I move up to do a spell strike, do they have an attack of opportunity?

Joe is vehemently shaking. I guarantee you they don't. I will bet all of the $10 bills in my pocket, which I think is one. Very bold. Don't tell me that. I thought maybe you had more. And also, you're moving up. So if you precast the spell and move, can't you precast move and attack?

No, because the spell strike is combined with the melee attack. It's an action. So if I'm thrusting my katana, I have to be where you are. And we're also sure that spell strike doesn't have a sort of thing that says doesn't provoke. It provokes. It provokes. It's a manipulate. I just wanted to make sure because it's been a while since we've played.

You saw both of them walk out of the swarm and it didn't provoke. Way back in the cannon fodder Professor Eric pointed this out and basically said how neatly Zephyr's stunning fist synergizes with the magus' spell strike

because of the stunning capability, which would stop the ability to do an A-O-O, and then you can deliver. That would be dope. Only I went first. Well, you know what? The dice decided. It's only against creatures that have them anyway.

I think it changed, because we're used to first edition that did not provoke, but that was in first edition because everyone had right everyone had attacks of opportunity so it's like but now it's just like it's more rare so right i would be shocked if a swarm had an attack i doubt it i highly doubt and you just saw your two friends walk out of it so maybe it's super smart and knows that it wants to get you but i think yeah

she's been serving that'll be a smart swarm she's been surveying and she saw that you guys were able to exit so she's just going to go for it and And she, yeah, has her katana out and Naruto runs towards it and then just swings it upward. And I'm going to move up and cast that spell. And nothing happens. Matthew owes me $100. I don't think that's how it better. That's what he said. He had 10 tens.

You had 10 tens in your pocket? I won the bet. And he owes me. That's what he said. He had 10 tens. You had 10 tens in your pocket? I won the bet. And he earned me. Very inefficient way to carry $100. All right, so let me. They're rolled up. Oh, okay. They're rolled up.

That can be impressive. Fat wads. So I'm casting Gouging Claw. Ooh. Let me make my attack with my katana. Okay. Hold on, I got to calculate. Hold on. Oh, you got to calculate. Hold on.

Oh, you got to calculate. Nice. It's not turning on. It's not turning on. It's solar power. It's not turning on. Have you ever taken it out of doors? Okay, hold on.

I just turned it on. Very easy. 16. I can't even work a calculator. 16 to hit. I didn't even need to type it in. Miss. Very easy. 16. I can't even work a calculator. 16 to hit. I didn't even need to type it in. Miss. Damn it.

Fuck. Do you lose the spell? Oh, it's a cantrip. It doesn't matter. It's just, yeah, I miss, so everything misses. And that's my full action, just a big old, but there's so many of them. It's just, I...

Also, Gouging Claw targets one creature. It's in the thing of the spell, so I would think that in this instance... Yes, you can target a swarm as a single creature. You can, okay. But then it should have resistances to that. Also, I should say... It might say it's immune to single target things or whatever.

I should say, almost always, and there might be a situation where it's not true, but almost always, Spellstrike, I can only target one creature no matter what the spell is, because it's combined with my melee attack. For sure, for sure. I just wonder, so you think a swarm is considered one creature? For the purposes of that. Swarms typically have

traits that say you do half damage or you do no damage unless it's magical or something, you know what I mean? Yeah, I have stuff like that. Yeah. Alright, but that missed either way. But it missed, yeah. And that's the end of my turn. I mean? They usually have. I have stuff like that. Yeah. All right. But that missed either way. But it missed. Yeah. And that's the end of my turn. I mean, Skids was targeted, right?

I mean, Ignition is not an AOE, right? That is a targeted spell. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And then, so nothing worked? Yes. For the last time, I missed.

Okay. All right. All right. Skidamarinky, do. It is finally Zephyr's turn. Okay. All right. Skidamarinky, do. It is finally Zephyr's turn. Okay. All right. That was a really nice juke. That was a Barry Sanders direction there.

You guys are so silly. So I have my bow out outside. Do I have my bow out in here? Yes. Did you say you put it I don't know. There's no reason to think you would walk into a room with it. It's not like it's rude to have your bow out inside.

No, no, no. Why do you have that umbrella open? Put it away. This is a classic instinct burning wheel thing. I'm inside. I see that there's not a lot of When she's walking indoors she doesn't have the bow. Or that I see that there's not a lot of range in here.

I would put it away. I thought you said you put it away, but maybe I'm misremembering. Or you want to put the bow. I don't want to have it out because it's not useful in tight spaces like this. Because to be a monastic archer stance, I need to be 30 feet. I just see this image every time you walk into a room that's relatively small. Yeah, that I put it away. I feel like I should be able to just put it away.

You think having opened the door and looked in with no immediate threats and a small space, you put the bow. Even if there were threats, the small space, we did this in the gnome compound. Okay, I'm fine with that. Just remember this. We should remember this.

Oh, for when they fly up 40 feet in the air. Troy will remember this. How tall is the room? I don't... 190. It's a temple. No. The ceiling is not that high.

10 feet? Single room. Yeah, I feel like I would have put it away when I walked in. Strange construction. 12 feet high. The ceiling is 12 feet high. But this should be like a burning wheel thing. So now we should remember when she walks into

an enclosed space like this, she will habitually put her... I feel like last episode I did say what I did, but I don't remember what that was. And I should write it down on my notes. Okay, but I'm fine with it, as long as you can sleep with yourself tonight. Oh! How do you sleep

with yourself? I don't know. I think you were combining. I think you were combining. Age-old questions. Age-old questions. Live with yourself. Live with yourself and sleep at night. Sleep at night.

Right, right, right, right. Anyway. How do you sleep with yourself? Gloria blows. I'm curious. Why don't you go sleep with yourself? How do you sleep with yourself? Get a room for yourself.

I begin with a gentle hug. Well. What do you do? yourself? Get a room for yourself. I begin with a gentle hug. Well. What do you do? Gloria blows with my hands. Okay, punch them, Ferris. It's weird to do without my bow. Oh, wait, let me try to roll that aid. Right, there was that little clump that maybe you could twarg it. And what skill are you rolling?

Perception. Perception. To just point it out. So I got a 23. Okay, good. That's a plus one. So plus one. Sick.

All right, cool. So that's a plus. Okay, good. That's a plus one. Sick. All right, cool. So that's a plus nine. Ooh, math, math, math. 25 for the first hit. Hit! That's a hit. You punched the shit out of that tooth fairy. Damage for that one is 1d6.

Now my bow is more damage than my fist. Six points of damage. That's bludgeoning damage, right? Yes. And roll a fortitude save. Please, because I hit you. Okay, that is going to be... I mean, it's very possible that they're immune to stun.

I would keep an eye on that. Eleven. Fail. So... Okay, what are the traits of Stunning Fist? Stunning Fist. It does have the incapacitate trait. One, two, three, four, five.

That's five traits. Does it have the mental trait? Mental? Yeah. Let me actually... It was a fortitude save. Interesting. Oh, yeah.

I only see the monk trait. Honestly, it has incapacitation effect. Yep, okay. This is tricky, huh? I mean, it could be, like, story-wise, like, I hit a group of them and just, like, a shockwave maybe stuns them collectively. All of them.

With their ability to fly together. I like that, yeah. They're like, oh, they're all... They all freeze. They lose cohesion because of the force of her blow. What is the result of this? I'm just trying to rectify it. You would be

stunned one. Okay, and what does stunned do again? You become senseless. You can't take actions, and at the start of your turn, you lose an amount of actions equal to your stunned value. It's dope.

Cool. So it basically removes your reaction, and then your next round, they would only have two actions they could use. It's so weird that you could stun them with a punch. Yeah, it doesn't seem right. It doesn't seem right, but by the book, it looks right. The monk does. Yeah, but there's a hundred of them flying't seem right, but by the book, it looks right. The monk does.

Yeah, but there's a hundred of them flying. There's no way you hit all of them. But if she just drives her fist into the swarm and they're all like... Yeah, like a reverberation. It disrupts the swarm in a way. Well, it has this ability known as swarm mind. The monster doesn't have a single mind because it's typically a swarm or swallow creatures, and it's immune to mental effects that only target a specific number of creatures.

I'm trying to figure out if stunning fists is considered a mental effect because then it would be immune to that. It doesn't have the mental effect. I looked up swarm traits here and it does say that swarms are immune to grappled, prone, and restrained. It doesn't say stunt. But it doesn't say stunt. Alright, so

I'm going to say that that works. Yeah, maybe because it has a swarm mind, stunning one of them stuns all of them. I don't think she's just like punching one of them in the mouth. I think she's just like catching a bunch. It disrupts them. Any of our other attacks would do. They all fly into each other. I couldn't mind thrust

a swarm because there's so many minds, but she could thrust, she could just like drive a hammer into the goal. Alright, so am I stunned one? Yes. Go on. Is that okay? Is that something you guys can say? Yeah. Fist thrust.

I can barely say it. Fist thrust. Without laughing like a schoolgirl. Can you roll the other hit? Yes, I have one more hit. Ooh, so that's a 19 to hit. 19 to hit. also a hit? Also a hit.

Let's go. Oh, one point of damage on that one. Okay, you notice that does no damage. It just hits them and they seem to bounce back from that. Hold on a second. Flurry of blows. Are they two separate blows? No, it's one action.

Or do they combine for the purposes of resistance? Oh, the damage? Good question. Yeah, do you roll the dice? For the... I think they're two separate. Do you want my calculator? Damage.

If both hit the same creature, combine the damage. Combine their damage for the purposes of both. Oh, there you go. Brian. You know what? Follow cap for a Brian. Yay! Helps the team in...

Weak. And hurts the team on occasion. Sometimes he helps us. Occasionally he's helpful. All right, so that does. Hey, isn't that your time for cast character? Yeah, that's Margo. Yeah, that's Margo.

You got a Margo. I got a Margo. All right, so good. Good round there. You're still going. You're still cooking. First action, Flurry of Blows. And now I want to do some recall knowledge on, like,

I feel like weaknesses. We knew there was one other piece of information that was quote unquote juicy. Yeah, or that, whatever that information is. Give me a natural. That is juicy. And not a stabling lore roll. Okay.

Listen, the adventure path like gave me that. So I'm like, it must be useful somewhere. Ooh, natural 20. 20 more total. All right, 20. Oh! 24 total. Alright, this... What is it? This is a real good one. This is like, this is a thing that like... Encounter breaker? No, it's character killer.

Oh. It has ability known as plaque burst. No. When this swarm is killed, something happens that causes a explosion. Death throes? Yeah, kind of like a death throes-y type thing that basically everyone is going to have to

try and save against this. Keep your distance! And it's a nat 20. I'll tell you right now, it's a fortitude save to determine what type of what happens. So something about when I punch that and stun them, maybe I realize that somehow and I tell everyone that

something bad's going to happen if we destroy the swarm. We need to make sure we're away from it if we can manage that. With a natural 20, does she know the radius of the effect? That's fair. That's probably going to be the whole room, I would think. Based on the size of this room,

it'd be very hard to avoid it. Stay close to the walls when you're not actively fighting them. And I'm going to take my own advice and move 25 feet away now as my third action. Okay. Oh, no. Wow. Let's get nasty.

Top of round two. Nasty to the T. Top of round two coming right after this quick break. Pathfinder Lore Masters has sponsored this week's episode of the GCP and Nash. I am out of my mind excited to tell you guys about Pathfinder Lore Masters. It is a mobile Pathfinder trivia game. That's right. It's available on the Apple Store and Google Play. And I have been using it now for weeks and weeks ever since I met the creators. And by the way, they are incredibly cool. And I

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All right. Round two. I could have got another action off last term. I forgot I can fly further than I thought I could. So. Ah. No one is under me right now, and you guys have spread out pretty juicily.

However, I think I can still fly. No, I can't. I have to fucking fly across we are so good at Pathfinder that's what they say about us on the internet word on the internet is I'm just going to fly on top of Brother Ramos

give me a you got lucky with that first one give me a reflex save I'm going back to that Norse well come on dude come on with that first one. Give me a reflex save. I'm going back to that Norse well. Come on, dude. Come on. How about 27?

How about 27? What is going on with Brother Ramius? He's all like, got plaque-filled teeth in there. I think he is so scared of having a tooth pulled that it's just inhuman how quickly he's moving. Maybe you're just scared of the dentist and you have horrible teeth and they're like,

Brother Amius has a beautiful set of natural teeth. Two points of bludgeoning damage. But then give me another reflex save. They're still picking in front of you. So you're just standing in this swarm trying to bat them away from your mouth. Oh, come on. This is really, you're really pushing it now.

Now you're pushing it, Hercos. That's a natural two. Total. Total is an eight. You take 18 points. Oh my god! Of bludgeoning damage and your sickened one. I am down.

The healer, if you're following along at home, is down, which means that he'll be ending his turn in the swarm. Oh, my God. I told you to stop smoking. Those teeth are loose. Oh, my God. I had exactly 18 hit points. Oh, my God.

Amazing. So Ramius goes down. Let me just move my little swarm here. Is that your total hit points, or were god. Amazing. So Ramius goes down. Let me just move my little swarm here. Is that your total hit points or were you down when we started at all? Damn it. You got hit once. Okay. Damn it. I was thinking about using that bottle cap and I was like, I gotta save it for the death throws and then

there we go. Alright, let me put the old dying condition on you. This is... Wow! It's amazing. Wait, so this is dying too? Because that was a critical fail. Oh my... Oh, no, no. Oh, shit. Oh, wait. It was a critical

fail? It was an 8? It was an 8. Was it a critical fail? You said 18 points of damage. Wait. Wait. Yes. Yes, it is a critical fail. It was? It was 36 points of damage. You add 10 to that. No, he gave you the critical.

I gave you the critical. That's 18 points. So yeah, you knew it was critical. Yeah. I just want to make sure because this is real, real bad. You went down in the swarm. Now you will move an initiative order to the top of the next round, basically. Uh-huh.

But, shit. Wow, this is... Well, we have a few minutes to kill it, so you don't end your turn there. No, but it's going to explode. Well, yeah, we can't do anything about that. Oh, yeah. We need to lure it away. Yeah, I don't even know how we're going to do that. Oh, my God. Shit.

Wow. Tooth Fairy Swarm. Thankfully, that is all the actions it has left. It is now Buggle's turn. You guys see Ramius go in there and it pinches, and then it really, like, it gets you right in the mouth. Blood comes out of Ramius' mouth as he hits the ground. And he has one less tooth right in the front.

Well, it's just loose. Come on. Just. Come on. Give us a break. Oh, man, it is. Time two isn't enough for you. Now, yes, it's just loose. Come on. Just. Come on. Give us a break. Oh, man. It is. Time two isn't enough for you. Now you have to talk like this. You have a list for the rest of the

episode. I can't. Brother Ramius. I can't believe it. I'm Brother Ramius. So me. Oh, my God. He's dying. I feel like I'm in middle school. I'm Brother Ramius. I feel like I just came into school with braces for the first day. I got picked up by a pack of tooth fairy.

Your dad lost his job the day before. And his parents, they're getting a divorce. And everyone's making fun of you. And everyone knows that they're going to get a divorce. Making fun of my sneakers because they're not Jordans. They're Mordans. You got Mordans. Mordans by McGregor.

Gary Mordans. You got a pair of Morgans. Mordans, all right. One of those Gordans. All right, this is real. This went from like, got this, sandwich. We literally were just like, we're so good at this. And now it's Buggle's turn.

All of your turns, Buggles, Talitha, Asta, and Zephyr, the single most important turns you've had in this game thus far. No pressure. Man. Okay. So Buggles, his psyche is unleashed. This blizzard forms around him. His eyes turn blue.

And before, like, this entity within him immediately wants to destroy the swarm, but he fights it off for a second to restore the mind first. He reaches out to Brother Ramius. And he does some healing for him at range. Amazing. That is six hit points back.

Holy shit. So he's at six hit points awake and wounded one. Wounded two. No, wounded one. I'm sorry. Yes, wounded one. Okay. Wow.

Huge. And he gets to go before the creature. Yep. Yeah. Oh, you too. Huge. Huge. And he gets to go before the creature. Yep. Yeah. Oh, you too. Huge. That saves me from when I was doing what I was going to do, which is going to walk over there and try to drag you out.

That's what I was going to do. Oh, awesome. I imagine I was going to have to roll athletics at a minus one. Rough. All your books away. Yeah, for real. Why are you so heavy? So many books.

Oh, my God. The books were a bad choice. So Buggles is fighting off this thing to do, because he knows what will happen when this thing is defeated. So he's like, if this is the killing blow, this would be the end of Brother Ramius. So he's just like, no, no. And you feel him come into your mind and just heal you. Amazing.

All right. And then he is going to snap his fingers again. But instead of this time, it's this, like, contracting mass of cold that, like, snaps shut around it. That's good. That is a 24 to hit. That is a hit. Nice. And that is...

Oh, and I'm amping this. Juice it up, dude. Yep. All right, so that's three points of cold damage. Okay, and is that targeted area or splash? It is splash. So, well, the one point of it is splash. All right, but it's three, and there is splash damage involved.

Yes. All right, so you see that that does extra damage to it. Right, I figured. It's a weaker splash. So a bunch of them fall. That damages Brother Ramius. Yeah, that damages you, too. One point.

One point. And he falls, dying. He dies. So imagine some of them just, like, turn into icicles, hit the floor, and just shatter into a million pieces. Hell of a round there. That was a character saver. And, you know, I need to be a little more liberal with these caps,

so I'll give Buckles a cap. Hey! Hey! Yeah! You saved my life so far. That's a life save. If we can live through this encounter. Whoever did the saving action was going to get in.

That was it. Although you're not out of the woods yet, especially where you're a wounded one. Talitha, you're up. Okay. Here's what Talitha would like to do. I'll allow it. She's going to draw her umbrella. Very generous. Thanks, Drew. She's going to draw her umbrella, and she's going to do a Dr. Henry Jones senior move

and just kind of like, open, close, open, close, open, close, and run through the swarm to aid Austin. Wow. I'm going to double run through the swarm to aid Austin. Wow. I'm going to double move through the swarm. Yeah, exactly. Like a distraction there. I'm just going to disrupt the swarm. And they're already stunned.

Oh, they were stunned. Did you take three actions against Brother Emmys? No. I totally forgot. Oh, crap. I completely forgot as well. Yeah, there was an extra actione in there. It's fine. Just let it go. It's just an honest mistake.

Was it honest? I don't know about that. Was it honest? Look at his face. He's like, oh, my God. You remembered they were stunned and decided to deceive us? It's insane that we all remembered it now. Roll a deception check. I think the only fair thing to do if we're going to accept

that this is the reality now is that we all should get a bottle cap. Here's the only fair thing to do if we're going to accept that this is the reality now is that we all should get a bottle cap. Here's what I'm going to do is I'm going to make them stunned next turn so that you actually have the A round of them. Because they would no longer be stunned

but there's just no way to go back. Yeah, we can't go back. We can't go back. I'm going to run through them open and close and just disrupt the swarm. Okay.

And then I'll end up on the other side of the room next to kind of down here in the back corner and I'm going to aid Asta. Okay. So I'm her turn. I'll end up on the other side of the room next to kind of down here in the back corner. And I'm going to aid Asta. Okay.

So I'm her turn. All right. So now that you used a move action. Two move actions. Two move actions. And then your third action is the aid. It's going to happen. It's your reaction.

Okay. Got it. Setting up the aid. Perfect. Well, it's Asta's turn. Asta, you're right next to this thing. Yeah. Okay. How are they looking after having this information from Zephyr?

Like, if I take a strike, am I going to make them explode? You feel like you could finish this fight right here. They're near death. I know. I could try to pull Brother Ramius away if you let me go first. You know what?

I could delay until Brother Ramius just gets up and walks out of the swarm. Then they go... Oh, yeah. You could go after me. So you know what? I'll delay. I think she's waiting. That's cool. She's using the confusion of the

umbrella and stuff. And you see him slowly picking his head up and there's blood coming from his mouth and he's just getting his hands under him and he's about to get out. And you see her wide, vulpine eyes with the red eyeliner under it and she's just looking at you waiting for you to move so she can attack.

So it would be you zephyr brother amias yep so i'm gonna delay okay okay and delay is an action uses one of your actions no no ready that's ready okay i'm just looking at delay i thought this this oh free action it's free action that's what it is all right so delay is a free action but you can't use reactions until you re-enter the initiative order when you delay. Just keep that in mind. Okay. Interesting. What is gonna happen? Okay, and so now it would be Zephyr's turn.

I'm gonna also delay. Wow. This is so fun. Dramatique. You just like when people delay. I like when people play tactically sound Pathfinder. It gets me going. You just like when the rest of the table delays.

It makes you look bad. I hold off and I say, Brother Ramius, you need to get away. Yeah, you just like that we're not going to kill you. He looks up, blood is streaming, and then he just goes, I'll delay. I stab Brother Ramius.

Right in the back of the head. All right, it's a little hairy here. Top of round three, though. It is your turn, Brother Ramius. You're prone. He's going to scramble up. He's going to get up from prone. He's going to move his full complement,

and he's just stumbling away past Asta, like wild-eyed toward the back of the room where Buggles is. And just say, thank you, Buggles. I felt you. And he will... Yeah, he will... He will aid Asta.

He will just aid Asta. Got two aids. Final action is to aid Asta. Asta and or Zephyr, would you like to now go? I jump in. Are you going to try to do it? Yeah. Okay.

Heck yeah. Let's see if I can hit. Again, I'm going to do my spell strike, two action John. Let me roll the aid for you. Oh yeah, roll your aid. So I'm just going to roll an attack action as if I attack them with the umbrella. Okay. Natty 19.

Oh. All right, you'll get a plus one. Heck yeah. What's the total? Out of curiosity. That would be a 25. Yeah, plus one. Do you want to roll your aid too? I can. I'm a dummy. I forgot he set up an aid for you. Oh, I can't get to. Can't stack the aids.

Alright, that's cool. You can aid me. Yeah, I don't want to. No, I do want to aid you, but I don't like retconning like that. It's a mistake on my part, and I should be held to it. So that's a 19 with a plus one to hit. She's going to kill me. That is it.

Okay. There you go. You have to move up to it, correct? Oh, wait. That hasn't happened yet. You're right next to it. I'm next to it. I'm right next to it.

Oh, I don't see that on my map. You're just not within it. Interesting. I'm right there. All right. So I'm casting Gouging Claw again Alongside it so that's I hit and now the damage

From my katana Come on Is gonna be 7 Okay and that's piercing damage Slashing I think So again you see that doesn't all go through Wait isn't this all combined?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my katana damage, and then my gouging claw is 1d6 plus my spellcasting modifier. Is it like the... I believe so. It's all one hit of damage, right? The blade plus the spell. Different types, but all combined together. Let me check.

In one single hit. I don't remember if it's I add both separately. All right, I'm looking under ancillary effects for spell strike, and this seems to be the only thing. It doesn't mention, like with it does flurry of blows, that the damage is counted twice. It doesn't mention that it doesn't. But here it says the spell takes effect

after the strike deals damage. So that leads me to believe that you do your strike damage, and now your spell takes effect. If that spell could have damage, it could not have damage. That's poop. Well, it's piss. It's piss on my ass, is what that is. That's what that interpretation can do.

It's the way my dang character works. It's all I can do. But I could still kill it. Alright, so seven points slashing. And now the gouging claw, which is 1d6 piercing. Slashing or piercing.

I can do either. Do they have a weakness? They have resistance to both. Oh, okay. So it doesn't matter. Here I go. Resistance 10 slashing. Yeah, right.

It's one pierce, but he didn't tell you that difference. That's funny. It's seven more. Seven more damage? Yeah. All right. So not all of that gets done. Come on.

Do you have any more actions? I have one more action, but then this would be with the map, so I could try to hit with my katana again. But then you can't move if I try to hit. Oh, you know what? Yeah, so let me move. I think no matter where we are, we're going to get hit with the death rose. But if we're further away, maybe it lessens with the radius?

Would we know that? Natural 20, you would know Right now Buggles and Brother Ramius are out Of the range everyone else is within range Okay I think it's just in range out of range Can I go share a space with Buggles Share a space

You can get I'm going to move away from the swarm then Near Buggles Right Well I'm still in it I'll just go. I'm going to move away from the swarm then, near Buggles. Right. So it's a 20-foot radius. Yeah. Well, I'm still in it.

I can't go any further. And it's not more intense. By the way, from a meta standpoint, let's not overthink it here. I think everybody's going to be fine. Like, as long as nobody's currently dying. He said it's a character killer. He's tough because if you're already down, if you're dying. But, like, if we're all up, like, and if Brother Amius is out of the thing, even if it did 50 hit points to you, he could heal you all right away.

You know what I mean? I'm saying there's no space in the room where you can get 20 feet away from it. Why not try for the natural 20? Yeah, all right. You know what? I didn't move yet. I'm just going to hit it with my katana for my third attack. See what happens.

Let's see. Natural four. That's less. Wow. Natural four... That's less. Wow. Natural for the musical. Steph, do you want to go? Yes. So I'm behind the statue.

What I want to do is... Is that actual providing cover and stuff? Big statue. Is it? Is it providing cover from death throes? You'll get a bonus to your reflex save, but yeah, it gives a bonus to its AC. Oh.

She doesn't have her bow out anyway. She's got a punch. Well, no, what I was going to do was I was going to move to the other corner of the room, take my bow out, and try to hit it from afar. I'd take a negative two penalty because of the volley of the long bow. But you do you, queen.

Well, you also, like, you're going to do very little damage. I do more damage with my longbow do you? it might it might take a little more from bludgeoning than slashing or piercing we don't know 100% but we know it has resistance to slashing and piercing and it does have resistance to bludgeoning they might all be

the same but don't listen to Joe do what you want to do I think it's ac is 18 i think we've established so it's not that not that hard to hit this one um but your but your flurry definitely can do more damage than a longbow shot yeah because i wouldn't be able to use it if i move and take it out and you probably can't move anywhere where you'd be safe anyway so i say go punch the shit out of it yeah that's what i'm saying all right guys if i die And you probably can't move anywhere where you'd be safe anyway, so... I say go punch the shit out of him.

Yeah, go get him. That's what I'm saying. All right, guys, if I die, it's all of your fault. He's in your head. All of you. I didn't say that. Zephyr goes up to the swarm. Kick it.

And uses two actions, flurry of blows, to hit. Okay. First attack. That is a 19 to hit. That hits. Okay. Okay. A 1d6.

That's a four. Just roll the second attack. Yeah, still up. And because I hit, the stunning fist happens again. It was stunned anyway. Oh, right. It's stunned. But if it lives for another round after this, we could still, so you'd need to do a fortitude save.

Okay. Fail. Sweet. So you're going to be stunned for another round. Okay. And now the second one. This is really effective on the swarm. It's really cool.

No, you didn't. Follow cap. Follow cap! I don't have one Did you nat one? I do cool stuff all the time And today he's like You know what the economy

Inflation's down or whatever however it works These are non-transferable now right? Yeah we did say that Oh god So that's a nat one? No it's not It is. All right.

Sarah Brown from South Portland, Maine. Maine. Hi, Sarah. Sarah. Sarah. What up? Sarah. What up, Sarah?

Sarah. This one is called This Isn't Happening. Yeah. Okay. I agree. There you go. You can't believe what just happened. Your embarrassment presents as the spell hideous laughter as you laugh at your mistake.

You are slowed one and cannot take reactions for 1d4 rounds. Does that start this round? No. Okay. Not in the rules of the way slowed works. So 1d4 rounds. If you're slowed in the middle of your turn, it does not take effect until the start of your next turn. Okay.

So when you regain your actions, you regain one less action. Cool. So it's slowed one. One fewer, sorry. Slowed one, you said? Yes. And then 1d4, three rounds. Cool, cool, cool.

You can't take reactions. Cool. So something about hitting with my fists, it's just so embarrassing. Made Zephyr laugh out loud maniacally at how bad that swing was. Yeah, I'm trying to play it cool. Not funny. Not a big deal, guys. We're going to kill it.

Anyway, so I miss on that one. And with my final action, I move away. That was it. Behind. You moved up to it. I moved up. Flurry of Blows is one action. Oh, one action. Great, great. And then I want to move back where I was again, That was it. Behind. You moved up to it. I moved up. Flurry of Blows is one action. Oh, one action.

Great, great. And then I want to move back where I was again, behind the statue. Perfect. Okay. It's the Toothfairy Swarm's turn. Fuck. It's stunned. I'm going to keep that stunned, so it'll be stunned for another round, because I didn't

do it last time. However, I am going to come after Ramius and Buggles. Oh, no. Give me a give me a save. You guys had to kill it. You had to kill it. A save of the reflex variety. 15.

Okay. Do it again! Yeah, 14. 14 and 15. Alright, you both take 4 points of bludgeoning damage. You're still up. Oh my gosh. Right?

I had five hit points. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Woo! Wow. Let's go to work! The range of emotions we've seen in like this 10 seconds. I know, for real.

It's wild. All right, so I'm going to keep stunned on just to retcon the stun that didn't happen, and now it is Buggles' turn. You see, there's not many of them left. I can't believe we can't kill this damn thing. All right, Buggles is going to move into the opposite corner of the room, and he is going to with his last action, with his

psyche unleashed, with the power of Siak-Ak, he enacts Frostbite. Frostbite, okay. Although this is actually going to be a fiery version of Frostbite. Hot ice! A little bit of hot hot ice.

So I'm going So, yeah, so I'm going to, okay, so it's 120 feet, and I am going to use my last amp, amplification point to amp it, and an orb of fire closes around

this thing. This is your last amp? Is that what you just said? This is my last amp. Okay, that is a 26 to hit. Oh, yeah. Troy is so happy. Look at him. He got us! Okay.

That is nine points of fire damage. Okay. And it dies. Oh, comerabbe! And now? As it dies, they all, like, burst into this sticky, foul-smelling white dust that covers Brother Ramius and spreads out to Asta. Both of you roll a Fortitude save. Just the two of us.

Okay. Just the two of us. Sit and die. We're gonna die. All right. This Norse foundry, John, is due for a nat 20. And that's the only thing. All in a shot. Save Brother Ramius.

Here we go. I had to call my shot because it has to be. You have a bottle cap. It has to be. You have two bottle caps. Yeah. Well, yeah, but I mean, what I'm saying is you wouldn't use a bottle cap because it has to be a natural 20. It's the only roll.

Oh, I see. Natural two. Use the bottle cap. Use the bottle cap. Well, here's the thing. Keep in mind, it could take 100 points of damage right now. I know, but I would go to dying three right away. So, like, then you can stabilize with the bottle cap.

Correct. So that's why I don't want to spend it. So I'm not going to spend it. Okay. I got a 17. 17. Okay. You both failed.

And your total was? Oh, sorry. My total was six. Six. You critically failed. Yes. We were just joking about this before the show, how Joe will just declare failure and not issue the actual result. Death Throws type abilities are character killers.

This is a Death Throw type ability. However, you're sickened one and you're sickened two. That's it. Oh, you son of a bitch. I'm mad. White powder is sickening. You lied. Well played, LaValle.

I'm so mad. White powder is sickening. You lied. Well played, LaValle. I'm so mad. So someone rolled a natural 20 on a recall knowledge, and you lied? This was a lot more fun, making me really nervous about what would happen. How do you sleep with yourself, Ed? So you lied. How do you sleep with yourself?

Extended the combat unnecessarily. I'm not even putting sicken on my character. We're so angry. It's gone. That's hilarious. Oh, my God. After you have a character die, you really act differently. Like, with this, I was like, well, all right, Masta's going to die.

Yeah, what's the point? And I'll just make a new character, and I'll just have to figure it out. Oh, you mean act differently, like, who cares? Yeah, after experiencing death of a close personal loved one. Let me explain death to you, Kate. You get to a point where you realize nothing matters. Yeah. And there's no point in trying or being good at anything.

Are you there already? Me? No. No. Man, that combat was sloppy as fuck, but it was fun. It was really fun. Really really fun that was a blast you show me a tactical combat with a swarm that isn't sloppy and i'll show you a bunch of liars and cheaters unless of course you're just like oh we're a party of evokers like okay great but like

outside of that it's always a mess we checked ourselves so many times too we were really good it was fun yeah we did. I meant sloppy in the play and also in just the way we played out. It would have been visualized, it would have been comical. Yes. Probably. But again, you're fighting tooth fairies.

Whiffing. You're fighting. It's among our goofier fights. Yeah. What happens now? You're a little beat up from the oculi fight and this tooth fairy swarm, right? Do Tooth Fairies have anything on them?

You guys search the room. Brother Ramius collapses to the ground, slides and puts his back up against the wall. Did they get any of your teeth? Oh! No, I think I'm all right. Okay. Oh, God.

That's how your teeth looked before? That looks like a Talitha. Sad. Oh, God. That's how your teeth looked before? That looks like a Talitha. Sadness in his eyes. Asta would like to do a perception check with all these teeth that are around to see if there's any with gold fillings or gem art on the teeth. Anything of value. Gross, Sydney. Whatever.

Nat 20. Man, I must be feeling generous. Gross, Sydney. Whatever. Nat 20. Man, I must be feeling generous, but that was just a very astute thing to think of. And in fact, a few of the molars that are in the statue have gold inlays. Amazing. And they're worth about four gold pieces altogether. Wow. So here you go. Here's a box.

Put it in the box. All right. Thank you. This is a three-cap app. Three-cap app. Guys, everyone, here you go. Here's a box. Put it in the box. All right. Thank you. This is a three cap app. Three cap app. Guys, everyone cheers your caps. All of us. A cap for everyone.

All of us. A cap for everyone. One for Francis. One for Cesar. One for Matt. Okay, yeah. We can... Either a thumbs down

or a cap toast. Yeah. A cap for all those who earned it. Yeah, I mean, a very astute observation. Four gold pieces? That's not... That's too shab.

You can split it four ways and just... Nope. I put it in my pocket. I'll give it to anybody. Yep. But yeah, nothing else of real interest in the room except this ominous statue staring at you. And we already investigated the statue, right?

We couldn't determine if it was Kniepo or not. Yeah, I mean, because you don't know. You just hear, you've seen a shadow that you think might be Kniepo. You've heard other people describe what you think is Kniepo, but you're not sure. Terrifying yet majestic statue of a lanky, striped-skinned humanoid monster.

It's wooden flesh pocked with pearl inlay. Oh, those aren't pearls. Those are teeth. It does, however, seem like a grandiose version of whoever this is. So maybe it's being sort of

made to look more impressive than it is. Or maybe that's really what you're doing. An idealized version of the subject. Yeah, it does seem to have that feel. And then on the ceiling, there's just... Yeah, I was going to ask, is there anything with these glow worms? It just seemed to be providing the room

with this faint little light. There's a real Tim Burton quality to this whole place. And I don't care for it. I don't like it. There is one door, right? There's another door. Yeah, there's one door leading right? There's another door. Yeah, there's one door leading east out of this room.

All right. Brother Amias has been, for the last ten minutes, just patching himself up. And he did a really good job. And he's going to continue to do so. So Letha tried to do the same for herself and did a less good job, so she'll also drink an elixir of life. And then he's going to, yeah, continue to... Oh, and he crits on the second treat wound, so he's going to be back up to full.

Okay. Unless I really, really trash the roll, which I don't think is going to happen. Nope, that's it. He's got it. Is everybody... How are you? I didn't get hit.

Nice. Is Buggles okay? Buggles is hurt, and's it. He's got it. Is everybody, how are you? I didn't get hit. Nice. Is Buggles okay? Buggles is hurt, and he loses, he got some temporary HP from that last frostbite cantrip, which are gone now, and he's just like, ugh. And got some wounds on him as they attacked him. Brother Ramius comes over. He's got gauze on his neck.

It's like wrapped around and he's covered up the wounds and he comes up to you Buggles and he will treat wounds on you for another crit. Oh, nice. Bad ass. How much were you down? 8. 23.

Oh my gosh. Crush that roll. He's got some band-aids and he's just like, yeah. Oh, my gosh. He crushed that roll. He's got some Band-Aids, and he's just like, oh, that's much better. And, no, I'll save that. Okay. I'll save that. Okay. Shall we continue through this next doorway?

Yes. Zephyr puts her bow away again as we go up to the door. Can I just examine the pliers real quick? I just want to see, like, are they mundane, actual? Rusty old. They land on the ground, they have weight, they're heavy. Rusty old pliers, yeah. You don't want those in your mouth. Weird.

And how many are there? Were there just, like, hundreds of pairs of pliers? Yeah, yeah. Not all of them had pliers. Some of them were just, like, poking and prodding, like, directing the others towards it. But, yeah, there's just, like, all these tiny little rusty old pliers. I imagine these things were like fist-sized. So, you know, they had like, not needle-nose pliers.

But yeah, a little, gotcha. Yeah. I mean, I already deleted the character, but the ability was pretty sweet. Like if you end your turn in there, it's a three-action thing to pry. And it like, it takes out your tooth. And you get the bleeding condition because you're like bleeding from that hole. That's so cool and awful. Do you take charisma damage or anything?

I don't think so, but it would be interesting how you role play it. Does magical healing just grow a tooth back, or do you have to hold it in place? But it didn't happen. I'm looking at it, and I'm like, man, this is going to be really hard to happen. And then you go down. Oh, my God, this is perfect. Perfect. I was wondering how it would actually work.

All right, so listen at the door. That's going to be a 23. Perfect. I was wondering how it would actually work. All right, so listen at the door. That's going to be a 23. 23. You hear scraping across the floor, shifting. So there's someone on the other side of the door. Should we just go in? I know you weren't there, but last time we heard this noise, it was a living sunflower.

What? And it almost killed us. What? Just exactly what I said. Did you not hear me? Wow, no, I just... To imagine it. Yeah. Scary.

You've never encountered a living sunflower. Can't say I have. So I would be careful. Okay. Somehow. Well, I'm going to open the door now't say I have. So I would be careful. Okay. Somehow. Well, I'm going to open the door now. Here I go.

And she has her katana ready and she would like to... You open the door. We're working. Oh, you... I see something. Let's talk about this. Not good. Not good. Whatever it is. I'll tell you the first thing that happens. I don't see it. What's happening?

You don't see it? Oh, I forgot. I closed the door. You open the door and you are the only one that can see into this room. I'm going to describe the room. Zephyr can see also. I can see it as well. Oh, can you guys? A little bit. How much can you see? I can see into the room. I don't see anything scary. Oh, yeah. Actually, Zephyr has the best view of the room. Brother Ramius can't see anything.

Where's Buggles? Buggles? Yeah, no idea. Buggles, you see a table. Are they scared of the table. Brother Ramius can't see anything. Where's Buggles? Buggles, yeah, no idea. Buggles, you see a table. Are they scared of the table? I see a table. What are they so nervous about? Apparently, Kost is terrified of meetings. All right. Board meetings.

I mean, same. I'm going to explain what some of you see, and then I'm going to explain what happens. So there's a long wooden dining table that all of you see sitting under what looks like 20-foot-high ceilings. The ceilings are higher in this next chamber. You went from 12 to 20. Asta, you get the best view on this. To the south, there are large slabs of meat sort of stalking a crude pantry of some sort,

and there's humanoid skulls lining the walls in small, randomly spaced niches, each filled with a glowing larvae, maybe one of these glow worms that create this macabre like lantern effect throughout the room. And you wonder like, what kind of meat is that if there are human skulls there? That's the immediate thing that goes through your head. There's a passage to the north that looks like there's some more doors up there. However, what Zephyr, Talitha, and Asta can see that Buggles and Ramius cannot are two situations. There is a decked out female centaur. What? And it's amazing.

She's big. The beauty of Foundry VTT that you cannot see this and that they can see this is so fucking great. She has quite a large sword, too. There's a lot going on. What?

Strapped across her chest is a scarred black breastplate. Scarred like she's been in a lot of battles. And behind that is like a long moss colored cloak. And she holds in one hand an enormous long sword and in another hand a huge steel shield. She also has several spears sticking out of her back. And atop her head is a horse skull that's been like stripped of skin and bleached

and turned into a majestic helm. And of course, if you're not familiar with centaurs, she has the body of a horse. Let me show you her image first since some of you can't see it. Right there. Yeah. Okay. Also, she's wearing a centaur cape, which I've never see it. Right there. Yeah. Okay.

Also, she's wearing a centaur cape, which I've never seen before. Yeah, it's like... It's a long moss cloak that covers her horse butt. My God! I mean, she just... Imagine opening a door and that's what you see. I'm just going to pass you a note here, Troy. I want to make sure you're aware of something before we continue.

Okay. I didn't want to say it out loud. Okay, Joe, pass me a note. Why are you having secrets with the GM? The secret is we are second level. This looks like a 15th level paladin centaur. You guys stumbled into

a later part. I hope she's a friend. She looks not the meanest. She could be a friend. She just escaped the tooth fairies kind, she could be a friend. I don't know. She just escaped the Tooth Fairy's kind of situation. She has a determined expression on her face, not necessarily a hateful one. Serious.

Couple things. One, this whole tree is in book two. You guys jumped ahead to book two, so you're way underleveled for this. Whoa. Secondly. Wait, what? I'm sorry.

He said he wanted to let the players drive. You guys drive the ship. We jumped ahead. Listen, I might be joking. I mentioned there were two situations. The second situation, if that isn't bad enough, this one is more creepy and weird because floating. In the shadow of the centaur is a tiny little sphere floating about a foot in diameter. Okay. And it looks to be made up of like knotted cords of muscle and blades with a single eye in its center.

That's just staring at you like it darts its eye right at Asta as you walk in and the centaur speaks up and says, place come in Asta steps through the doorway, nimbly

slowly. Zephra will also slowly, because I'm not not listening to that lady. She does seem to have an authority. Talitha will close the door. We'll see you next time. Your meeting may now begin. Talitha will join them.

Yeah, Asta steps into the room, but she's keeping her distance from this woman going behind this table kind of putting the table between her and she says hi sorry if we are interrupting something my name is Asta

okay and yours My name is Asta. Okay. And yours? So, Buggles, you're standing at the door there. Buggles. Come on. I can't do it. Just want to know. Buggles is like, he's just sort of cowering in the doorframe.

He won't. He's not stepping into the room. He's in the frame. That's okay. Everyone else kind of finds their way in. And as impressive as the centaur is, that creepy little ball looking at each of you. He's not stepping into the room. He's in the frame. That's okay. Everyone else kind of finds their way in. And as impressive as the centaur is, that creepy little ball looking at each of you, it's just like you can feel its barbs on your skin, even though you're 20, 30 feet away from it. It's just looking at you.

And she says, Asta, who else enters the court of Kenebo the Slim? Oops. Not a friend. I'm Zephyr. Zephyr. What's your utiliter? Dilitha Breakwater. Breakwater.

I'm Brother Ramius of Latria. Brother Ramius. Andria. Brother Ramius. And you there at the door. He's like mouthing Buggles, but he can't even muster a sound. He closes your eyes. Buggles. I am Salah. Captain Salah, Captain Salah, and you stand in the presence of the former enemies of Kniepo.

She gestures at all the skulls in those little burial niches. Their skulls gnawed clean and preserved. and preserved. Let me ask you this. What makes each of you so special so that they would open their gates unto you?

Special? I don't think we consider ourselves particularly special. Victim of circumstance. We're trying to find that out. We don't know why the gates opened. That's why we're here. So,

you have been chosen. Chosen, perhaps, but if so, by whom? We chose ourselves. Have you gone through the gates? I am here. Am I not?

Oh, okay. Chosen. Okay. I have always enjoyed the choosing most of all. The choosing? What do you mean? Before I joined forces

with the slim, I was forced to watch from the shadows at my prey. Sometimes for months on end, watching their every move, learning about them, who they were, what they prized most in life, what they feared.

And when there was nothing left to learn, I ended them and then moved on to the next. While I regret not being able to have the time to learn about you as the Slim has, I promise I will take my time with you posthumously to learn everything about you inside and out. But you are not worthy. And I will prove it. And she like rears up her horse legs. What is going on? And we'll see you next week. What is going on?

Did we fail that? This doesn't make any sense. Did we fail that dialogue? Did we do bad and now we have to fight her? A mounted knight warrior? You guys got your asses pissed on oh i just pissed on my ass it's time to make your membership official become an official member of the N.A.S.H. today at jointhenash.com. That's jointhenash.com, where you'll get access to exclusive podcasts and live streams you can't find anywhere else. See what everybody's talking about and join the N.A.S.H. today at jointhenash.com. Outro Music