The Glass Cannon Podcast - Gatewalkers Episode 32 – No Place Like Home

Episode Date: April 26, 2024

After a harrowing battle, the heroes realize the gravity of their situation. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/TfjhuqQ36e0 This episode was sponsored by Demiplane, Foundry VTT and Norse Foundry. ...Check out Demiplane's Pathfinder Nexus and character creation tools at https://bit.ly/GCNOfficialTools See why tabletop gamers everywhere have made the switch to Foundry Virtual Tabletop at https://foundryvtt.com/gcp Visit https://lumen.me and use code "GCP" to get $50 off your Lumen. EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/gcp Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! Visit https://auraframes.com and use code "GCN" to get $30 off plus free shipping. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/GCN to get 10% off your first month. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for hundreds of hours of exclusive shows and benefits, make your membership official and join Glass Cannon Nation today by becoming a subscriber at jointhenaish.com. Watch new episodes when they premiere every Thursday at 8PM ET on youtube.com/theglasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. This is it. This is it. This is Kniepoh. I'm afraid. So here we go. Let's see what old Kniepoh can do.
Starting point is 00:00:20 Take Kniepoh out for a spin. Oh no. First thing Kniepoh's going to do is rakeoh out for a spin! Oh no. First thing Kniepoh's gonna do is rake a claw across Zephyr's face. Oh no. Us is going to run up, straight up in a line, and do a spell strike. Right there!
Starting point is 00:00:34 It like steps out of that space and appears over on the other side of the room near Zephyr. So I don't hit it. You don't hit it. They just reach out their arms. You see your shadows on the floor begin to lift off the floor and pull towards K'Nippo's hands. This is what he was doing.
Starting point is 00:00:53 Assuming the elves shadow. Yeah. So I'll reload and shoot. Reload. Fire! Natural one. Oh! Little four rounder, first I'm gonna do a claw on Asta
Starting point is 00:01:03 with K'Nipppo, the Slim. Oh no. No, no, no, no. Oh no. I'm down so many hit points. You just go to dying one. First action. I'm dying as well.
Starting point is 00:01:15 All right, so Buggles and Zephyr go to dying two. I'm not having fun anymore. It was fun for a while. Yeah. It was fun for a minute there. It is Talith let this turn. She's like, so, she wakes up from the spill. It's like, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh,
Starting point is 00:01:28 shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, Slowly sliding down, they smile and they grab Buggles. Welcome home. And they die.
Starting point is 00:01:52 The adventure continues. They're mad! They were saying we can't get out. Now. The End Good evening, everyone. Welcome back to the Glass Cannon podcast. Thinking about getting an octopus. No, no, no, no, no, no, everyone. Welcome back to the Glass Cannon podcast. Thinking about getting an octopus. No, no, no, no, no, no. What? Like, like hunting and catching one?
Starting point is 00:02:50 No, no. A pet. I'm gonna get him. I assume you'd have questions. I'm gonna get that octopus if you have one in mind. I assume you'd have questions about that. Is it Paul? I just saw these videos have come up in my algorithm of a guy who just he receives like
Starting point is 00:03:08 baby octopuses in the mail and like octopi I guess and raises them and I'm like I think I can get into that. Not a bunch, not a bunch, not a bunch. You want to one. Is it because you want to advance knowledge of future World Cup winners? Is that what they do? They like pick. There's one octopus. There's an octa- one octa- they're very smart. Some say they're aliens.
Starting point is 00:03:27 Yes. But I think I- do they grow though to be like all larger? I think it depends on the octopus, right? Yeah, it depends on the type. There's so small. Because I don't want to have to start getting larger. They also only live for like three years. Tanks and stuff?
Starting point is 00:03:40 Tanks, yeah. I don't want to deal with big tanks. Yeah, if they could live as long as us, they would be the rulers. Hold on. Because I grew up with, we had saltwater fish. We had a saltwater tank. And that is like, you got to do a lot of work for that. And if you're doing a saltwater tank, you got to think about that. This isn't your average goldfish.
Starting point is 00:03:55 I just want to domesticate an octopus. I don't understand why this needs to be so difficult. What is the fecal matter of an octopus look like? What does it look like? I'm going to Google that. I imagine there's some ink involved. You know they can like get out of there. I don't think that's an octopus, that's a squid.
Starting point is 00:04:08 No, but octopuses squirt ink. I think they do. Yeah, they do, when they're frightened. Defense making it, they squirt it and then they leave. This particular gentleman that I saw on the Instagram, when he first- You can't gesture at Joe, he's the guy. Joe, do you have octopi?
Starting point is 00:04:21 The busted octopus is in the mail. Well, this is super easy then. He's right there. Right. Well, this is what I'm working towards. I get them in the mail. I have no choice but to raise them as my own. When he put it in the tank, it was their first day together.
Starting point is 00:04:33 It got spooked and sure enough, ink, and it hid in its little ink and then the ink dissipated. It was just standing there. But... But busted. They're amazing little creatures. I guess they're not that smart. And you can like form bonds with them where they like come out of the tank and they like walk up
Starting point is 00:04:48 your arm. Well, did you see the documentary? No. My octopus teacher? Oh, you got to watch the octopus teacher documentary. Oh, Troy. I mean, it's going to make you want to get an octopus more, probably.
Starting point is 00:04:56 I'm listening. It's going to make you, rather than getting a tank and having an octopus there, it's going to make you want to live in the ocean. Like leave your family and just live with an octopus. I don't think I want to do that. I don't know that extreme. I mean would you how important is friendship to you? Guess if the kids were all off at school Can we talk about this guy for a second you skipped over the part where
Starting point is 00:05:20 He gets them in the mail. Yeah, but like like it just happened? I'm assuming like dark web shit. Does he order them or do people just send them? So he purchases them from breeders? He purchases them from... Illegal sellers in foreign countries. I think it's legit. I think he is a legit... He might be a marine biologist or maybe an armchair marine biologist. It might be dirty. Don't worry about where I'm getting the octopus.
Starting point is 00:05:43 I'm gonna source it. Are you gonna be the Tiger King of octopi? I want the best price And yes, I'd like you from now on to call me the octopus kid Think they're expensive good news though. How much is Google? I looked up a small octopus I typed into Google tiny octopus pet, because I feel like that's what you would search. That's a really good search. Yeah, pig me octopus is a thing.
Starting point is 00:06:10 So you don't have to get a big tank. Perfect. They look really cute. Everyone I'm seeing is just if you want to eat them. Oh. Whole octopus by the pound. Oh. That's a pretty good search.
Starting point is 00:06:20 No. I actually do really like grilled octopus. I'm never eating octopus again. After seeing the doc? Not even that, it was just like, just getting to know how intelligent they are and everything, it's just like. I think it might be out for me too.
Starting point is 00:06:37 For me that lasted like two months after seeing the documentary. It was like two months, I was like, no, never again. You can get one for 56 bucks. I ate them again. Is it a good one? It's on sale. It's usually 50, 999. It's usually 59. 99 hitting the cephalopod a few times. Take it a few blows. Is it alive? Yes. Okay. Oh, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:07:01 And I said a reminder. Yeah. This I'm on Quora, which is a terrible site. And this guy says, what's it like having an octopus as a pet? It's a lot of fun, but we'll have a tragic ending. That's the first sentence of a long diatribe. For who? I guess that they're short-lived. And they only live about a year, this guy says. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:07:21 Wow. Well, in the wild, it's like two or three. If you keep them in an aquarium, they say they won't live more than a couple years. Well. See, I don't think I could deal with that. For 56.50. Oh.
Starting point is 00:07:31 You can get a, they have females with eggs available March through June. Baby octopi. You can become an octopi, you can have an octopi orgy. Ooh, I'd have to put an unrelated male in the tank. Yes. So they could just keep making babies. Then I would have an endless supply of octopi.
Starting point is 00:07:48 I truly would be the octopus king. All they march through June. Well, is that when they're most fertile? I don't know. They only live for one year. That's wild. They get attached to something. I don't think I could do that.
Starting point is 00:08:03 They only live for one year. To me, an octopus guy, like this guy who orders these octopuses I feel like that's the same as reptile guy You know who like has a ton of exotic like lizards and stuff and like a lot of the time which guy pets Well, a lot of times they don't live that long. It's just like I have this exotic breed No, they live depends on the credible amounts depends on a guana can be like 17 Yeah, I think like gecko like small lizards don't live a long time. But also your house is gonna smell
Starting point is 00:08:27 a lot better than that guy's house. Oh, true. Nobody wants a reptile house. I don't think it would be stinky. Did any of you ever had like a snake growing up? Were you one of those weird snake people? Yes. I had turtles.
Starting point is 00:08:38 Turtles? That's borderline weird. Oh, that's so fun. And they were illegal in New Jersey at the time. I don't know if they still are. My dad got them in New York City. In Chinatown? Smuggled them over the border.
Starting point is 00:08:48 But they started to get too, we kept having to buy bigger and bigger aquariums. And then eventually we had to donate them to a pet store because they, also like, the turtles got to be like, you know, five, six inches long, they were pooping a lot. Yeah. I feel like you get them and you,
Starting point is 00:09:02 or like you either think or you're told that they're gonna stay a certain size, but they always grow up to be bigger. Same with pigs. There's no such thing as a teacup pig. Yeah. I didn't have reptiles, but I had rats. Dreams just dying.
Starting point is 00:09:13 Wow. Even weirder. You had rats? Even weirder. What were their names? Meatball. Belly and Baloo. These are perfect names.
Starting point is 00:09:25 And there was another one. It was one that I adopted that was later on in life. It was a completely albino one. Plagy? It already had a name. I remember what it was. Ryan? It was really cute.
Starting point is 00:09:37 He was enormous. Stinky, the brain, I don't know. I don't remember what his name was. Stinky, funny. Wow, mice. Rats. Rats. I discovered something new about you almost every show. They are't remember what his name was. Pinkie. Wow, mice. Rats. Rats. I discovered something new about you almost every show. Yes, they are like little tiny rodent dogs.
Starting point is 00:09:49 They are very smart and cute. Speaking of stinky pets, I had ferrets as a kid. Those are stinky. They were awesome. I mean, I love ferrets. I think they're great animals. We had Jelly Bean, Bonnie, and Clyde. And they were stinky though.
Starting point is 00:10:05 And then later I had a snake. So I became a weird snake person. Did you walk around town with it around your neck? No, no, he was a ball python. His name was Monty. And he- Did you ever shoot him on an arrow? Did the physics of that ever work?
Starting point is 00:10:20 Had an enemy? The origin is me trying that. No, he was, I didn't become a reptile person because snakes are weird. Like he wouldn't eat in front of me. He was like a very conscious, self-conscious eater. He wasn't into live mice. I had to like, this is crazy, I had to buy frozen mice and then you heat them up in like hot water, like massage them and heat them up.
Starting point is 00:10:43 And then I would have to dangle it, you have to entice, it was like a whole rigmarole and I was like, you know what, I'm good. I don't need it. I don't wanna make you relive traumatic memories, but can you talk a little more about massaging a dead frozen mouse? Not traumatic, it was fine.
Starting point is 00:10:59 What do you do for work? You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense.
Starting point is 00:11:11 You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense.
Starting point is 00:11:19 You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. Big snake guy. Big snake guy. Spent his, uh, fell salary on reptiles? Yeah, he was like, and it started early, like, and he went to see you and I was at a, I was on stage at a De La Soul concert
Starting point is 00:11:32 and I'm standing there and Chad Brown is like out in the audience. And he's like, and I knew, I knew it was Chad Brown cause he's like a big like college star and everything. And I knew about the reptile thing, but he was looking at me the entire time I was up there, like he wanted to murder me. Looking at you like a reptile would.
Starting point is 00:11:49 Yeah. Stalking it. Was he jealous that you were on stage? I don't know. I don't know what the problem was that he had me, but a riot broke out because like they, everyone thought that De La Salle was going to play music and they were only like, they,
Starting point is 00:12:02 they signed for an appearance fee. And they're just like, we're not playing any music. What's wrong with you people? And people started throwing stuff on the stage and like people started to get up and this guy's like kicking people in the face and everything. And I told my friend, I was just like, we have to get out of here because I know Chad Brown is going to use this excuse to kill me. It's going to feed you to do a snakes. Yeah. Wow. I have so many questions. Get out of there. It's gonna feed you do a snakes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:22 Wow. I have so many questions. Yeah. Was that your, the only riot you've ever been a part of? No, I was at the, after the Broncos, the Superbowl 32. That was a pretty big riot. It was a good riot. I was downtown for that.
Starting point is 00:12:36 That was fun. Classic riot. Yeah. Write in with your favorite riot. Yeah, write in with your favorite riots. Oh God. Well, I don't know. I don't want another pet. But I think if I did go, if I stretched out beyond just cat, I'm thinking octopus.
Starting point is 00:12:56 Will you keep us posted? I'm so curious about your journey with this. I'm going to look into it. Now that I know it only lives for a year. Yeah, it's hard. I'm both being like, ah, that's sad. And also being like, I'm the one that can make it live forever. It's also with most challenge accepted. The octopus king. How do you think, what would you do as the octopus king to help your cat bond with your octopus?
Starting point is 00:13:18 What would you do with your power? Well, I wouldn't keep them in the same room together. I feel like that would be a recipe for disaster. But I would put them behind a glass so they could stare at each other and learn each other's ways. Like a glass tank? Yeah, like a glass tank or maybe just a wall. I think they can live outside for a little while.
Starting point is 00:13:38 I'd want it to get some fresh air. Does it mean it? I feel like you really got a research octopus thing. recent octopus. Walking all over the guy's hand. Anyways, Colin and my octopus. I've seen octopuses just running through the grass and then climbing trees. I'll tell you. It lives for a year. It never gets to see the see the grass.
Starting point is 00:14:03 Put it in a stroller like people in New York City. Just walk it around. Take it to the Yankee game. With a little leash. Just take it to a luxury box. It calls itself the octopus. What would you do if you only had a year to live? Would you stay scooped up in a tank the whole time?
Starting point is 00:14:19 A horrible life. That's probably why they only live a year. That's what I was about to say. Because no one airs them out. No, because people say, hey, look at my octopus. They're like tearing them, taking them out in the open air. That could be a two. They're slowly suffocating.
Starting point is 00:14:32 It's two. That could be a two. It cuts their life spans down by a third. People are like, this is how octopi walk. No, that's them desperately trying to get back to the water. They're trying to get back into the tank. Well, I've definitely learned that I need to do some more research before I make a hasty purchase.
Starting point is 00:14:44 But for $56, I'm willing to try I need to do some more research before I make a hasty purchase. For 56 bucks, I'm willing to try. Dude, down from 59? I'll let it live here, and if it dies, just... Francis, will you clean it up? Folks, we're going to take a quick break, and we'll be back with more of the octopus king in France. I've been using a little something called Lumen lately.
Starting point is 00:15:07 Maybe you've heard of it. It's the world's first handheld metabolic coach. I know that sounds like a lot, but basically it's a device that measures your metabolism through your breath. You just breathe in, breathe out. It has this app and then it lets you know all kinds of stuff like if you're burning fat or carbs, it helps you improve your nutrition and workout, sleep, even stress. And it's super easy to use. You wake up, you breathe into your device, and then Lumen gives you a personalized nutrition plan for that day based off those measurements
Starting point is 00:15:34 it took of your metabolism. I find, and maybe you guys feel this way too, that I am always trying to be healthy. I try to eat healthy or work out, but I never feel like I'm doing it enough or the right way or I don't know where to start. and then I get really discouraged. But Lumen seriously simplifies everything. When I look in my app, I see my metabolic score and then I know exactly what kinds of carbs, fats, and proteins I need for that day. It even gives me food options and recipes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner so then I can make my grocery list and actually get things that are nutritionally beneficial for my body instead of three grapefruits. Why do I keep buying three grapefruits?
Starting point is 00:16:10 I'm not even eating them. So if you want to take the next step in improving your health, go to lumen.me and use GCP to get $100 off your Lumen. That is L-U-M-E-N dot M-E and use GCP at checkout for $100 off. Thank you Lumen for sponsoring this episode. What is up, Nesh? I am literally sitting down as I record this. I am unplugging tech around me and packing it up as I get ready to head off to Kansas
Starting point is 00:16:35 City. Glass Canada Live, Kansas City, and Austin are up next. And whenever I'm getting set to go on the road and inevitably work from a hotel for three to four days I always make sure I've got my Nord VPN ready to rock for cybersecurity I use hotel internet when I'm on the road. I use internet in cafes I even end up logging in on the Wi-Fi at breweries Whenever I need to work side-by-side with Troy LaValle because that's where I can find him. In all these cases, I fire up NordVPN to protect my passwords, to protect our company banking
Starting point is 00:17:09 info and any other sensitive information that I don't want easily obtained by some clever and opportunistic cyber thief. By changing my virtual location and using NordVPN's threat protection features, I'm just not an easy mark for a trolling thief. And I'm also protecting myself from malware or phishing attacks. All of this security with the app. Plus I get the benefits of changing my virtual location
Starting point is 00:17:37 whenever I want to watch a game that's not televised in the US or check of my airline tickets would be cheaper by changing my country of origin. It's also intuitive and it's so easy to use through the app. I can't recommend it highly enough. You should try it out and use our discount to get the best discount off your Nord VPN plan. Go to Nord VPN.com slash GCP. Our link will give you four extra months on the two year plan and there's no risk with Nord's 30-day money back guarantee and You'll help support your best friends
Starting point is 00:18:10 That's right your old pals at the at the GCP. The link is in the episode description box If you are watching this right now live It's because you're not at our Kansas City show right now as the show is Airing on YouTube. We are doing a glass cannon live show in Kansas City My body is in Kansas City and probably full of sauce In two days, we're going to be in Austin, Texas I think that shows probably sold out by now and then tickets for the rest of the year except for Philly are on sale. You can get tickets to Vancouver on May 23rd.
Starting point is 00:18:48 That one's almost sold out too. St. Paul, Minnesota on May 25th. That one's almost sold out. And then we're going to be in Skid's hometown of Denver on June 20th. Nashville, Tennessee on June 22nd. And then of course, we'll be in Indianapolis all Gen Con week. We have a show on sale at Helium Comedy Club. That show sells out every year.
Starting point is 00:19:08 There's only a few tickets left for that. And then the next night, we're doing Call of Cthulhu live at the Athenaeum. This year is going to be Modern Call of Cthulhu. And then Boston Mass on September 14th, Portland, Oregon, October 10th, and then we're in LA on October 12th. The last show of the year, Philly will be on sale really soon. Head to glasscannonetwork.com slash tour to get your tickets and come see this group of beautiful human beings live.
Starting point is 00:19:34 Speaking of beautiful human beings, how about our sponsors? Yes. Foundry, VTT, Demiplane, and of course, good old Norse Foundry. Skid, what about Norse Foundry is important? Norse Foundry, say for example, for some reason, you wanted to have a number chosen for you between like one and 20. I could just pick one on the thin air.
Starting point is 00:19:58 You just pick one, sure. But what if someone says like, hey, I don't trust you to pick this number for whatever reason. So like, well, let's do it randomly. This is your solution. Ah. You heard it here first.
Starting point is 00:20:10 Look at that. 16. Bam. Boom. I trust you. Thank you. Because you use the die. Anyway, it is funny.
Starting point is 00:20:16 And you can trust Norse Foundry for all your random number generating needs. There you go. Speaking of pretty, it is the one thing. what's the one thing besides gaming that ties all of our sponsors together? They're so pretty to look at. Every one of them. The Norse Foundry die are so well crafted.
Starting point is 00:20:35 The Foundry VTT is obviously freaking gorgeous. We spent three episodes talking about tree balls because of Foundry VTT. And then the demi-plane sheets are the most beautiful sheets I've ever seen. All of our sponsors are beautiful. They really are. Well, you know, if you're going to spend all this time playing games, why not elevate the world around you?
Starting point is 00:20:55 Yeah, the atmosphere just heighten everything. And it heightens the whole experience. It sure does. We said we logged back in today to record, and we all went, ooh, our characters have so many conditions. We're so hurt. And it's like, beautiful. Beautiful.
Starting point is 00:21:11 Beautiful to look at. You know what I appreciate about our sponsors? Is that they let us write their taglines for them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can have that one for free. That's.
Starting point is 00:21:22 You finally made it to the court of Kenipo the Slim. And I would think you would all agree the fight delivered. It was intense and we recorded it so long ago, I don't remember anything about it. That's another thing to keep in mind. It's like a little subtle thing that's happening here is we haven't recorded in the longest time since we've started recording, pretty much, besides Christmas holidays. I think so. So it's been a really big gap and I'm excited to jump back in and also a good time, I think,
Starting point is 00:21:51 to have that gap because it definitely feels like we are on the cusp of a major change here. How was your third of 18 trips out of town this year? It was fantastic. I managed to both re-injure my knee, which may need surgery, I'm not sure, and dislocate my shoulder again. Oh, what's happening? Did you fall down a flight of stairs? I played basketball.
Starting point is 00:22:15 Oh, that's it? Guess I shouldn't have done that. Can't do that at your age. And then... You can't just play sports. I was literally putting on clothes in my shoulder Wow Start showing up new to the report from here on I'll wear pants. It's the shirt that it's the shirt that really
Starting point is 00:22:39 Well, you have traversed this Tree here in the first world you've gone to what looks like every single room, and you have now defeated Kniepo the Slim. You're all in pretty rough shape. I'm sure you have as many questions as you do answers, having heard their big spiel before the fight. There is also a sentient hedgehog in a cage. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:23:06 Sentient. Yes. And you know it's sentient because it says, Oi! Oi there you smoothies! No. Nope. You gonna win an orga out of what?
Starting point is 00:23:17 No. In out of the clay pose. Fetish is gonna let me sit in here. What? That better be a joke. You better be messing around. I kill the hedgehog is he speaking is he speaking a common is he speaking common you have in a town for any other accents oh no this is just so what I was born with oh no wait I can
Starting point is 00:23:40 sometimes I can sound like me mom ready. Oh She was a rascal I Just want to say you and you wanted this This is something you wanted. This is real monkey. So you have to deal with this is a real monkey spy Yeah, I'm not even in the book. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.
Starting point is 00:24:07 Or am I? That was me mom again. Please, I'm unconscious right now. Please do not revive me. Yeah. Until this is over. Until this guy is dead or is gone. In all seriousness.
Starting point is 00:24:22 What's your name, friend? Mordyve, it's you, Mon-Edge. Pleasure to meet you. What is your name? I didn't quite catch it as Kanaebo was talking to you before the theatrics broke out. Can I roll a perception to see if this hedgehog is really a hedgehog or if they're lying?
Starting point is 00:24:41 What's going on with this hedgehog? All right. It's just shaking its cage. Take all the time you want. I've been in here for a while, but would be nice to stretch my little legs. What are you doing in a cage? A Kenebo put me in here.
Starting point is 00:24:56 I just sort of wandered into this tree by accident and got captured. Been here for months. Not sure what they had in mind for me. At any time I didn't know if they wanted to kill me, eat me, or fuck me. But here I am, and it seems like now I'll be free unless you're thinking otherwise. A lot of weird looks coming from all of you. Wait, you wandered into the tree.
Starting point is 00:25:19 Did you wander into this, these thin lands? Oh, the thin lands? No, I'm from here, from from the first world as it were. I just sort of uh found my way in here one day thinking it'd be a nice safe place to sit and uh turns out it wasn't. Turns out it's a very dangerous place and I was captured by that thing that you just killed. Thank you! I should have said thank you right away um but again I'm still in this cage here and...
Starting point is 00:25:45 Why? Starting to feel like we're not gonna be friends. Why do you have a little hat on? You like that? Me mom gave me this hat. Yep. What's your mother's name? My mother's name? Oh well it's awesome. Oh it's Helga. Helga Hedge. Yes. Old Helga Hedge hedge she made this hat for me. She did Miss her though. She died long time ago one second
Starting point is 00:26:12 Once I just oh whatever tickles your prickles you have to understand everything we've met in here has fought us So just give us a second. Oh and we'll deal totally understand You know we want to be friends, but no one wants to be friends with us so far. I understand. Asta pulls everybody over to circle up around Buggles as his unconscious body. And Hubert's just...
Starting point is 00:26:35 Clying there. I think we should let him out. Okay, but can we just get a little better first? I'm pretty hurt. Buggles. Buggles is unconscious in front of us. Oh, Buggles, I almost stepped on him. Oh.
Starting point is 00:26:47 Just in case this thing isn't nice. Absolutely. Let's, let's... Hubert. Yes? Do you know anything about getting out of the Thin Lans? That's a difficult thing. There really is no way out. He takes his hat off and kind of rings it in his hands
Starting point is 00:27:06 When can a bow there welcomed you home? Well, you know that portal you came through to get here you came to a portal. Yes. Yes Only can I poke and make those so you can't exactly walk out of here the thin lands Then the thin lands themselves are stable enough, but beyond them is Nighthold, and the shadow storms of their place will scour your dead, assuming the Yankos don't get you first. He just shakes his head as the black eyes are gleaming, he's like, I'm sorry friends, but you are well and truly spiked if you're hoping to get out of here, there's just no way out. But it's not all bad. You just kind of need to start a new life here in the forest. I can't wait
Starting point is 00:27:49 to get home and see my friends. My family's all dead. But it'd be nice to see my friends. You could come and not live with me, but you could stay for a little while until you find a place of your own. Where do you live? In the forest. In the Thinlands? Yes, in the Thinlands. This place is a bit weird. I'm assuming you're from the Botanical Plain? Yeah, never been. Never been there.
Starting point is 00:28:13 The hood is nice. But yeah, the Thinlands are pretty horrible. Just trying to find your own little place that you can scour away, put your stuff. I lived in a tree for a while, a little hole of a tree. Not much smaller than this, just lived in that hole. It was much better than walking around outside.
Starting point is 00:28:30 Does Count R'nolc still hold power in Nighthold? Count R'nolc, I've heard K'Nippo talking about Count R'nolc. No, no, I don't think so. I don't think anyone's seen Count R'nolc in a long, long time. It's exiled, I believe. Right. No, it's just sort of a lawless wasteland with a lot of dangerous creatures going about. There's no one in charge, so everyone just kind of kills each other to
Starting point is 00:28:53 survive. I'd love to leave, to be honest, but as I said, there's just no way out. Do you have any medical skills? Medical skills? Ummm... What is that? Healing. Healing. First aid? No. I don't think he knows what that is. He didn't know what medical meant so I don't think...
Starting point is 00:29:12 No, no. When I get hurt, I just rest and put some ice on my wounds and eventually I feel better. What ice is which is interesting? Yeah, we have ice here. Melts really fast though. Oh, one more second please. I was gonna... Drive him in here for one second. Melts really fast. One more second. I've been in here for months. Brother Amos, might you be able to heal us? He's been in the midst of a prayer and he's been trying to tune out this nonsense as much as possible. He has a hand on bugles and is thinking
Starting point is 00:29:40 about trying to treat wounds on him, but he's worried it's gonna take too long. So he is going to fire off the heal spell for everyone. And he'll 7 points of HP damage. Oh, that felt nice! Did I get any of that? It washes out into the room. Everybody goes up. Seven.
Starting point is 00:30:01 Seven. Not just for your friends. And then we'll still need more. But we lose the wounded because of it. Not if he doesn't treat wounds. Oh. Seven. Is that just for your friends? And then we'll still need more. But we lose the wounded because of- Not if he doesn't treat wounds. Oh. Yeah. Or you either treat- or get to full HP. Yeah, or get to full HP. Buggles, are you alright? Yes, I was having this horrible dream that I-
Starting point is 00:30:18 this awful hedgehog talking in a clawing terrible voice. Yes, it is another denizen of the First World. Poking at me with a pitchfork. And a... Ah! Oi there! Oh. What's going on there?
Starting point is 00:30:31 Look at you! You're just like me! What are you? Um, name's Hubert Hedge. Saw you taking a little nap there. Good to see you awake. Uh, pleasure to meet you. Uh, strange circumstances. Look at me, I'm still in this cage. And it must have been what you felt like when you were laying on the ground there.
Starting point is 00:30:50 Now you're up. And yet I'm still in this tiny little cage. Take your time, though. I know... I'm gonna turn into a perception to determine if this thing has ill intent. Okay. With us? Same. While you guys do that, Asta is slowly walking towards the cage. Asta!
Starting point is 00:31:07 What? Stop it! Just looking at you with its black eyes. I'm just walking over. Nature I'm assuming, right? Well, perception. Oh, perception. Yeah, you could do nature to know
Starting point is 00:31:15 like, do these type of creatures, are they nasty? I'll do nature to you guys. Or perception-like. I wanna perceive if this thing has ill intent. And with my Norse foundry Joe die Nat 20 It is they do roll that 20s nation you want to pick one up even for Joe on occasion No, he seems pretty genuine.
Starting point is 00:31:45 He seems totally safe. Affable, friendly, outgoing. Affable, friendly, outgoing. Sixteen on the knowledge of nature. A talking hedgehog from the first world? Yeah, no, it's... They're like anybody. There could be nasty ones, but you've never heard that their species are particularly
Starting point is 00:32:04 untrustworthy. You haven't they're like anybody there could be nasty ones, but you've never heard that their species are particularly Untrustworthy or they have any kind of particular Magical skills or no, I mean it seems like he if he didn't know what the word healing is He's probably useless in a fight. He's clearly never been hurt with us that goes to be a sorcerer Open the cave and she says I've never met a hedgehog. I didn't I didn't like just open it up for him. Oh, oh, thank you He squeezes his way out. Oh Feels good to stretch me spikes. It's weird cuz it wasn't even locked. Oh Opened it what? Oh, I think he got they got me in here with fear. I could have just walked right out
Starting point is 00:32:41 But then it would have killed me. Anyways, thank you. Thank you for letting me out I have a thought to stretch my spikes. I have a fear about what can even wanted with you really I think can even was after your spikes You know, it's possible. They were always Talking about how I looked there's a machine next door Machine yeah, they would take me out for walks once in a while, put a collar around me. It was very humiliating. That's cruel. Did they ever put you in a machine?
Starting point is 00:33:11 No! Never put me in a machine! You would know it because it looked like a certain anatomical feature. Yeah, no, no, never saw it. Never went in it. Yeah, they were real weird. Real weird. Never quite knew what they wanted with me. Was there anyone else being held captive here? No, no. No, there was people that were brought in and experimented all and whatnot. There was a creature wearing a mask that would do terrible things. Terrible, terrible things. I just kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to get harmed. But, yeah, no no no one ever otherwise Kniepoh never did
Starting point is 00:33:46 anything to you besides take you on an occasional walk yeah if they did something I don't remember were you like his pet like a friend that's the vibe that I got which is very very rude insulting yeah We're not domesticated pets, we're people! That'd be like making you a pet! Also, he had a gorga. They had a gorga? They had a gorga. Maybe they were-
Starting point is 00:34:11 Kniegoh also seemed a bit like a tortured soul. Yeah, yeah, I got that bit. Did he open up to you at all? Did he say anything? Not so much to me- Show any vulnerability? As to the air, they like to talk to themselves a lot, like to pontificate aloud and whatnot. They say anything other than what they said to us when we arrived.
Starting point is 00:34:33 That was the general gist that I got from them. All the time they were very mad about something that happened a long time ago. Held a grudge against those elves, like you. Creatures like you. Surprised that they even offered you the chance to become slim like them, whatever that means. Never liked when he said that. But anyhow, yeah, no, they were just real weird, real sad. And they also just sorta always felt like they were gonna perish.
Starting point is 00:35:04 And so I think that's why it was imperative that they find someone to take over. But now they're dead, thankfully. The Brother Amos would like to examine the slim corpse with perhaps a medicine check of, you know, just to get a sense of maybe its workings. Was it what what was killing it was a seized let's not forget the shape is on Kniep ohs it is yes when we fought him he was wearing the shade with her key he they were they were they were yeah yeah they touched it remember and that caused shadows to form around them. So we need to take that Okay, and research it. I'm only a little bit about the shape of the key, right? We just know we don't really know how to use it
Starting point is 00:35:54 Correct you can do some some checks on that but you want to do a medical check on the body Yeah, okay. I want to get a sense of if it was old age or something else that's a 22. I imagine you examined bodies after death before. You think in your abbey you ever had to like come in and consult on autopsies? No, not many. A lot of this is new to him. He's training in a lot of this. He did more gardening at the abbey than medical work.
Starting point is 00:36:24 Maybe you just read books about the anatomy. new to him. He's training in a lot of this. He did more gardening at the Abbey than medical work. You just read books about the anatomy. Yeah, he became a little bit more focused on it after the fire when he was really badly injured and he had to learn a lot about the people that he met that were taking care of him and stuff like that. Taught him a lot. So he's still new to it in the grand scheme of things. Right. So I imagine like if you were a doctor that did a million autopsies and then were brought into a room with an alien, yeah, you would just go on what you know. But everything about this creature is foreign
Starting point is 00:36:55 to you. Its skin doesn't have the same texture as yours. It's this like wet leather, almost reptilian, you know, without slicing into it or anything. You just examine it and you don't see any sort of... Any sign of decay. Any sign of decay, disease. It's almost as if without delving deeper into its physical anatomy that this fear of death was just a common, like, almost human fear that is shared across species. Perhaps he thought he would die one day. It's like a midlife crisis. It could have been any day.
Starting point is 00:37:32 I mean he could soon or distant future. I mean immortality seems like something, not an uncommon feature of creatures in the first world. And if he was not, if he didn't have it, then I mean life would, no matter how many thousands of years he might have left, it would seem like an instant. Yeah, they've been around for thousands of years, but even they were worried about it. Always thought they could die. If they were worried about dying, it's just when they died,
Starting point is 00:38:10 they seemed happy. And said welcome home. I think, my understanding is like any civilization that has kingdoms. A king wants a sire. And that is their biggest fear, is to die without one. Yeah, an heir. A king wants an heir.
Starting point is 00:38:29 So, what? They don't have one. A king is a sire. A king is a sire. So why would they die happy? Yeah, you reversed it. A king wants a sire. A king wants two sires.
Starting point is 00:38:37 A sire and an heir. I grew up in the woods. We did not have kings, so I don't understand this innate need to- You did sigh, I was thinking. Well, of course, we- Sighed a little period. We procreated, but not- We should all be impressed that a fox can speak English.
Starting point is 00:38:53 Thank you so much, Buggles, I'm so happy you're awake. I talk too. You, however- We know. I like you. Oh, I think you and I are gonna be fast friends. My fear is that- What's your name?
Starting point is 00:39:06 Then tell me your fears. I should get all of your names, don't I? I will tell you my name when we are not in this room. Why do you want to know our names so badly? Well, just, you know mine. It'd be nice if we... ...changed our pleasantries. Yes.
Starting point is 00:39:21 I know. You just had a tough fight. Some of you almost died, that's all that. So we can wait. Whatever. We'll move at your pace, but you just had a tough fight. Some of you almost died, that's all that. So we can wait. Whatever, we'll move at your pace, however you feel comfortable. I haven't really talked to anyone in a long time, so it's just nice to stretch me vocal cords, as it were. Well, the good news is you're free to go.
Starting point is 00:39:37 Oh, well, if only it were that easy, so there's no place to really go. We always think I could just kinda spend some time with you. But you said you had friends. I got friends. There's a flower that I really like. Do you not know where they are?
Starting point is 00:39:49 I have a flower that I like. His name is Jiminy. And then there's a couple of rocks out there. Jiminy? Yes. Yes, that's a name that I've heard. His name seems to come up so often. It's Susan the Rock. Hubert.
Starting point is 00:40:05 Susan the Rock. Hubert. Yes. Have you ever encountered something, a gate? Call them Ayudhara on our plane. Gate. Yes. Sort of a portal between worlds.
Starting point is 00:40:19 A portal between worlds. No, I heard about them. I heard about them. Sound nice. No, Kniepo could make them. Never thought one myself. K heard about him. Sound nice. No, Kniepo could make him. I never thought one myself. But when Kniepo took you on walks, perhaps he... they took you to a specific place.
Starting point is 00:40:31 No, we never really ventured outside of the tree stump. We just sort of stayed in here. It's almost like they were showing off all their things that they made. They were trying to make another one of them. Really? That's what all these machines were for, trying to do trying to make another one of them. Really? That's what all these machines were for, trying to do experiments to make another one of them. They were trying to make another kiddie?
Starting point is 00:40:51 Another? Another Slim, yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, I think that's what they were planning to do with one of you, or all of you. But the way they welcomed you home there when they died made it seem like they know something you doubt. That's what I meant before.
Starting point is 00:41:06 Perhaps he was happy because they completed their mission to have an heir. Yeah, maybe us killing them did something. That's not, that's bad. I wonder if we can leave. That's very bad. We did use their machine. They said welcome home? Yes, uh-huh the dying breath
Starting point is 00:41:29 It's very don't want to live here. Not with him. I don't want to live here either not with him Ah, we shall endeavor to find a way out of here. No one who? All is not lost yet. We have not begun the research necessary to know that we have no hope Why did we use that machine that was so reckless. It was reckless. Why didn't anybody stop us? I don't think it had to do with the machine. No? No.
Starting point is 00:41:49 There is a library here. Also, we all didn't use it. There's a library here that we could perhaps spend some time. Also, we can examine the shade with a key and we have many avenues. And also Hubert here might have an idea for a way out. Also, this circle on the floor. A way away from here? I am also just fond to hang out with.
Starting point is 00:42:08 That's what Susan the Rock always said. Is that what she said? Yep, that's what I heard at least. Hubert, do you know what these runes are in the floor? Runes, what's that mean? You see these drawings? Drawing. Did Kniepoh ever do anything in this circle?
Starting point is 00:42:24 That circle there... No, no, no. They would try to do stuff there. I never quite understood it. Oh. Not 100% sure. Do we know what language this is? If Kniepo didn't understand it, do we understand it?
Starting point is 00:42:40 Let's see... It's not quite a language. And if it is, it's see. It's not quite a language, and if it is, it's nothing that's discernible to any of you. They're just, uh, they're runes that might have meaning, but nothing any of you recognize. Um, it looks like it's part of some sort of ritual. Can I do an Arcana check? Yeah. Would decipher writing do anything? You could try it, but like,
Starting point is 00:43:08 they just don't, they don't really key into any, they don't remind you of any particular language. Natural two. Natural two. 12. I'm not trained in arcana. No. Can we search the room?
Starting point is 00:43:21 Yeah. You guys search the room. Natural 20 on that one. Hey! The detective. Got 18. I'll use my magnifying glass. The room is particularly bare.
Starting point is 00:43:35 There's really nothing in here of interest with the exception of the shade wither key around Kanepo's neck. Everything else is very mundane. Doesn't look like they ate, or like needed food or water to live. Anything going on with the throne? No, very creepy.
Starting point is 00:43:57 There's a dead Gorgug, nothing on the Gorgug. Okay, out of character. We know, our understanding of the Shadewither Key is that it is able to open Ayudara right Is that think that's like our understanding of what it does all we know is that no idea I thought that it was a key to his prison Oh, that's what that was my impression, too Oh, I thought it opened the portal like it was it allows him to travel between the two realms
Starting point is 00:44:23 I thought I just allowed him to get out of the stump. I don't know. I think my understanding was that it was, we know it could be used in a ritual, so it has more powers than that. It was going to be used in the ritual that we interrupted. Or no, that's not true. It was going to be used in the ritual
Starting point is 00:44:38 that is going to bring about the end of the world or so Lemma Feldthorne thought. But yeah, can we examine the key? Can I do an arcana check on it? Or is it for sure? What would it be? In my notes from the painting, it says the figure uses the leaf as a key
Starting point is 00:44:52 and passes through an arch. To escape, when he escaped his prison. Oh, okay. But I mean, that was my understanding that the reason they took the key was because it allowed them to travel between worlds. They originally found the key on the body of someone and used that key to enter the material plane.
Starting point is 00:45:12 And then when they were trapped back in there, the elves took the key away from them. So as far as you know, the key is used to pass between worlds. Yeah, I do have it written in my notes. When Bolon stole the Jade Amulet, the Shadewither Key, it's a gate key, is what I wrote down. And then Bolon planned to use it in Evil Ritual. And that was like our... That's what I heard. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:33 And the druids, the oak stewards had the key and maybe they didn't even know the depths of this key. They used it as a key for the Ayudar. And then I think it was Lemma you were talking to said like, oh, maybe the elders have used it but like no one I know has ever used it to pass between gates and remember that the way that the the elves use these Ayudhara from your knowledge it's like to warp around the world that's what they really are they're warp gates. Like fast travel. Yeah fast travel. Alright I want to roll can I roll on the key to see if I, like it's, I understand how to activate it
Starting point is 00:46:09 or use it maybe. A little arcana action, eh? Yeah. In the meantime, I'm gonna start treating wounds. So who would like wounds treated? Are you down at the lower points? All right, I'll start working on Zephyr while Talitha's in the diamond. I got a little scrape
Starting point is 00:46:22 on my knee. She'd with her key. Maybe you could help with this knee scrape Of course I'll get to you Huwud Thank you so much 22 on the shade wither key Anyone would like to aid? I can aid I don't have Arcana trained
Starting point is 00:46:42 I know that you don't need to I mean it's a flat 10 for the 8, so I do aid. Or I... don't? You're not trained in Arcana. You need to be trained. I am. Oh, you are? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:51 It's a 15 total with my Arcana. Oh. 15 total wouldn't give you a bonus rate of 20. But, um, here's what you know. You saw them touch it and activate these shadows around them, one of you will have that ability as well. Should you wear it, it's two actions to interact with the key and the effect is you touch the shade with the key and command the shadows it casts around you to peel away.
Starting point is 00:47:21 The shadows form an umbral double that resembles you in every way except for its fiery red eyes and the expression of wicked delight on its face. The double occupies the same space as you and attempts to intercept any attacks aimed at you. A creature must succeed at a DC 11 flat check when targeting you with an attack, spell, or other effect. On a failure, they hit the shadowy double instead of you. This effect lasts for one minute or until the double is hit, whichever comes
Starting point is 00:47:49 first. Once the double is hit it's destroyed. As long as the double exists you don't gain the Shade Reader's key item bonus to stealth checks. So that's another thing when you invest in this item you get a permanent plus one to your stealth check. And Kniepo was able to trigger two of them? Yeah, so Kniepo was able to do it with two. You imagine the time that they've spent with this key, they were able to unlock other powers to be able to put two shards. Shade with their key greater. Shade with their key greater. But you also, with a 22, arcana check, you get the sense that this key
Starting point is 00:48:23 But you also, with a 22, Arcana check, you get the sense that this key can do more, but you can't really ascertain what that more is. There's more to this key than just shadowy doubles and stealth checks. Classic plot artifact. So I love that, where it levels up with you. I love that, that's cool. It's like the sword in your Jade Regent campaign.
Starting point is 00:48:43 Exactly. Shwishin. Shwishin. Shwish cool. It's like the sword in your jade region campaign exactly swish swish swish Where the key all do it no No, that's right noble of you. I thought maybe you were nervous about the very brave View I don't know what it does, but shall we roll off on like key. I want it. I wanted to yeah, that's real All right Die natural 19 natural three natural 18
Starting point is 00:49:25 Just call me song bitch I called you song bitch. What did you get, Kate? Natural 19. Oh, great. 18. You got an 18 too? Yeah. I'll take that. Do you take it from Talitha's hands? Yeah, like as you're dangling it being like, who wants to take this? I'd like to.
Starting point is 00:49:37 Zephyr's just like, no, I'm taking this one. Zephyr, you grab. You're taking a lot of things. You grab the key, maybe you go to put it around your neck to wear it. Yeah, she looks at it. Careful. And she's about to put it on. Do it. maybe you go to put it around your neck to wear it. Yeah, she looks at it. Careful. And she's about to put it on. Do it. As you start to put it around your neck and you tie the necklace on, you just hear like... Is there a breeze in here? We don't know what kind of effect it could have on your elfish side
Starting point is 00:50:08 Careful, I'll be careful. How do you feel? I? Mean, I feel fine sure. Yeah, do you hear anything strange? How would you ask that I? Mean, I feel like I feel better than you you all went into the went into the tree. I didn't go into the tree Key looks good on you. Oh boy Hope I have a key myself someday. That would be nice. Don't really know what a key is. Right. Is that the right word?
Starting point is 00:50:32 Well, once we're all healed up. So I'm... Are you cutting open, Buggles? Poor Buggles. Oh my! No, I didn't hurt you. But the first roll I healed five hit points of you which is very tiny and then the second heal which was minimum success just hit
Starting point is 00:50:52 the DC and then rolled snake eyes so that's two points of healing okay we're grinding that we're gonna be here for oh my god another minimum oh my god another five points it's just just, it's miserable. I'm just gonna do it over here for a while, and we'll spend a couple hours in this. We talked to Hubert. Let's go to the library. Yeah, whoever's healed can go to the library. Fail. We can do the healing in the library.
Starting point is 00:51:16 Great. Fail. Come on, Hubert. And I hold Hubert and Buggles' hands. Do you know what books are, Hubert? Books? Sure! Well, you tell me what books are. we'll see if we're on the same page You you know what you do with a book of course yeah here we hand Sutra that Buggles gave I had him on the Karma Sutra that Buggles gave me. I hand him a pillow from the bed.
Starting point is 00:51:46 And I go, this is a book. There it is, the old book. You don't eat it. No, no. Of course not. Gonna smell it. Smells good, good, just like old books do. All right.
Starting point is 00:52:00 I don't know what to do with this. All right. I take it back. All right. No? it back. All right. No. No? No. You read it.
Starting point is 00:52:09 Ah, of course. Foolish. What does that entail? We spend a couple years teaching a... Yeah. Time is so little meaning here. We might as well. We start with picture books, and then we move into like baby's first word. Books.
Starting point is 00:52:25 All right. Look at that. Learn something new. I made five new friends. Wait till Susan hears this. The rock? Yes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:52:35 Now where is this again? Where is Susan? Outside. Somewhere near my old tree hole. Would you welcome to stay in here? You can usually. Maybe you can find your own hole or something it's best not to be outside for too long lots of
Starting point is 00:52:49 creatures terrible creatures and the wind and whatnot might just want to stay in here to be honest now that you've cleared the place out you could just make a home here and we'll start a new family eventually some of us may fall in love and procreate, does it work? Well, Hubert... Make some new people, we'll start a little society here in this tree. Hubert, Hubert, please. Yes, I'm getting ahead of myself, we just met.
Starting point is 00:53:12 I'm sorry if I am being short with you, I'm just rather exhausted. Well... I do think that we will stay here, at least until we are a little bit rested. Are you planning to stay as well? Or would you like to be on your way? Ummm... Anything is better than what's out there, to be honest. As much as I miss Susan, and my whole...
Starting point is 00:53:33 I, uh, would, uh... So anything is better than going home? Anything's better than being alone, really. I understand. I understand. It is a very dangerous place. Yeah. Oh, look at that! Well, why don't you stay here with us? And he nods towards Zephyr.
Starting point is 00:53:47 And Zephyr, you notice that the key, now that it's on your neck, the voices and that noise has stopped, but it's like sort of floating off your chest and like tugging you. Whoa. Oh, look at that. Is it like trying to lead me somewhere?
Starting point is 00:54:02 If I try to follow it? Look at that thing! Isn't that interesting? Is that... floating? Are we all healed up? We're not going anywhere and we're all healthy. Did you heal me? Um, no, no way. But we'll just say I did. Hahahaha!
Starting point is 00:54:19 Well let's just see if it even tries to take me out of the room. I think we should follow it, but I want to make sure we're all healthy and I would like to not be wounded. Yes, I agree It's not like pulling drastically. I'm at 22 on Buggles. Do you need more than 22? Oh, I'm that's I'm fine Okay, great. So then quickly we'll do I Just need your name I just need four hit points. Oh eight. You're good. Okay, I'm done and you're good And I'm good and to lead that just needs nine. Oh, then, you're good. Okay, I'm done. And you're good. I'm no longer wounded. And Talitha just needs nine. Oh, then we're gonna get this, we got this.
Starting point is 00:54:48 10. Beautiful. Bam. So, all told, it's about an hour and a half that it takes to go through all that. So talking in the library, whatever, and then all of a sudden this key starts raising up and acting a little funky.
Starting point is 00:54:59 Get your focus spells back if you realign. How are you doing power wise spell wise things that are like once a day three days I have one spell slot left in no heels yeah that's why I was saying I'm utterly exhausted I need to rest yeah honestly I haven't had a good night's sleep in a while I've been standing up so long I tried to lay down in a cage was but it's very small, very small. It'd be nice to sleep in a bed or a floor. I guess I could sleep on the floor, be fine with me. I'm a bit concerned that whatever's going on with the key
Starting point is 00:55:33 is a temporary effect, or we might need to pursue this now. I don't need to rest that bad. I mean, I did get my Conflux spells back. I'm good. I'm going to... Sorry, I can't take another step. Okay. Okay. Brother Ramus collapses.
Starting point is 00:55:48 He collapses onto the bed, onto the bed that's in the corner. We build a litter and ask Hubert to drag him behind us. Not very strong. I'll just get the gist of where it's going. Alright. Where it seems to be. I'll go with you. It tugs you towards the doorway of
Starting point is 00:56:05 Kanepo's throne room. Let's follow. Let's go. Okay, so I go back into the throne room All right, you go back from the throne room into the reproduction lab Oh, it's bringing me out of the three you out of the room. Yeah Into the reproductions lab and from there it's pulling you towards the vivisection chamber and when I say pulling it's just a gentle tugging a A guidance. A compass almost. Okay so I can do you just letting it lead me? From the vivisection theater it directs you towards the hallway that would lead either to the room of paintings or the room where you fought the centaur. Ah, okay. So if you walk into that hallway, it does in fact direct you to the south, to the room
Starting point is 00:56:52 with the centaur. And it just, it's like, it just slowly, gently just tugs you in a new direction. Just through the room still? Yep. So you're, you go through that hallway to the west and then down into the room with the centaur and once you are in the room with the centaur it continues dragging you south right back to the first room you walked in at. I don't know where Asta's going. I couldn't go the other way for some reason it wouldn't let me through the door. Oh because you guys probably never opened that door.
Starting point is 00:57:22 Yeah, you have to go around all the way. I'm taking the long way around. Now that the door is open, you can go this way. And yeah, it brings you right back to the room with the statue. And you see this resplendent statue of Kanepa that you now look looks nothing like the actual Kanepa. It's much more muscular and strong. And then from there, the key tugs you to the exit. And we'll be back right after this break.
Starting point is 00:57:51 So all of a sudden Mother's Day is here. And I will share that my mom is extremely tough to buy gifts for and has always been. And I shouldn't really complain because I know I'm also difficult to buy gifts for, but my mom is particularly tough. But we've been buoyed lately because she recently became a grandmother when my daughter was born. And so I'm going to talk to you about a product that I actually have already bought. I already gave this as a gift before they even sponsored this podcast.
Starting point is 00:58:25 And that is Aura Frames. The Aura Frames are a beautiful Wi-Fi connected digital picture frame that allows you to share and display unlimited photos. It's super easy to upload and share photos via the app. And if you're giving Aura as a gift, you can even personalize the frame with preloaded photos and memories. So obviously, she has a granddaughter now,
Starting point is 00:58:49 much to the consternation of the other people in life. I'm sure she likes to look at pictures of our daughter. And so yeah, we gave, we actually even this to both my mom and my mother-in-law. And now I'm now I'm misremembered, but we might have also given it to my father-in-law as well, just so they have multiple ones around the house. But they really are great. And you can cycle some photos through. We're always uploading and sending photos along. And they kind of control it on their own. It's great. You can save on the wrapping paper even.
Starting point is 00:59:15 It's just a great experience from top to bottom. Every frame comes packaged in a premium gift box with no price tag. And it's easy to set up. It takes about two minutes. And I don't think I even, we didn't preload anything on the one we gave. I think my's easy to set up. It takes about two minutes. And, you know, I don't think I even, we didn't preload anything on the one we gave. I think my parents just set it up, you know,
Starting point is 00:59:29 and all of a sudden they had pictures of the, pictures of the family around. And maybe this makes me a little bit of a stereotype, but I found this on Wirecutter, right? It was the name, the best digital photo frame and also selected as one of Oprah's favorite things, which really got my mom going. And right now, Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day. Listeners can save on the perfect gift by
Starting point is 00:59:48 visiting AuraFrames.com to get $30 off plus free shipping on their best-selling frame. That's A-U-R-A-Frames.com. Use code GCN at checkout to save. Terms and conditions apply. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. How is your social battery right now? Mine's pretty good. I've had some time to myself, but I also get to spend a little bit of time with friends. It's not too bad this time of year. It's about to get drained though because we're starting to get busy. Got to get the busy summer. So it can be easy to ignore our social battery and spread ourselves thin, especially with social gatherings picking up right after the winter. What's the right amount of socializing for you and how do you recharge? Maybe you thrive around people or maybe you need some more time alone.
Starting point is 01:00:35 Therapy can give you the self-awareness to build a social life that doesn't drain your battery. I, I've, I feel like I've benefited quite a bit from therapy. I it's, It's just so invaluable to me to be able to talk through things with an uninvolved party who has some special insights. It's been incredibly helpful to me overcoming some things. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Find your social sweet spot with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash GCN today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelphelp.com slash GCN.
Starting point is 01:01:32 And we're back. I should show you a picture of old uber dentsch. Oh yeah, we saw this last time. I forgot about the loin cloth. Picking my tooth with a feather, loin cloth covers me book. Still not sure what that word means. We will teach you. He really is so stinking cute.
Starting point is 01:01:52 Hello! You've heard him speak and you still say that. I want to bring him home. They've played with me for too long to enjoy me. Hubert to me is an octopus Detroit, I think. I'm like, this is perfect. This is what I want. This is what I want in my house. You can't have a hedgehog.
Starting point is 01:02:07 And I'm going to be in this campaign for one year before I die. Uh oh. You can have a hedgehog as a pet. In real life? Yeah. I want it in the game though. Is it more expensive or less expensive than an octopus? I don't know. Maybe less.
Starting point is 01:02:18 We'll have to do more research. Look at that! It's pulling you outside. Dangerous out there, dangerous. Might be able to help you a little bit, but. Should probably wait, I think Brother Ramius is still sleeping. Oh, is that his name? And I feel like.
Starting point is 01:02:35 He's your brother? Uh-huh. No. No. You just call him like, brother. He's a member of a religious order. I don't feel like defining all these words for you right now. I think he knows what religion is.
Starting point is 01:02:48 He doesn't know what book was, so why would he know what priest is? Brother. You'll learn some of that book. I had a brother once. Yeah, dead. That's nice. What's his name? What happened to your family?
Starting point is 01:02:57 Oh, my brother's, he was Harry, Harry Hedge. What happened to all your family? You mentioned they're all gone. The world out there is pretty awful. Lifespan is usually about four years tops. How old are you? I'm 17. Gonna get me license soon.
Starting point is 01:03:15 License for what? To operate every machine. Your forklift license? A jigger loader? Drive a back out. Start a new life. Class C. Have you got a license? Hubert? Yes? Asta? I never told you my name. Oh, but you got there with a name tag. Fuck. You're right. Should take this off. Honestly, I heard them
Starting point is 01:03:44 call you Asta. When your right. Should take this off. Honestly, I heard them call you, Asta. When this, when your brother was trying to heal you. Ah, of course. Hubert, when we leave, which we are going to do once Brother Ramius wakes up. I'll recommend it, yeah. We have to. Okay.
Starting point is 01:03:59 Would you like to come with us? I, I would love that. You're also welcome to live here in this house and it would love that. You're also welcome to live here in this house and it would be yours. Yeah, no, this place does have a certain charm. Could do some redecorating. You could live here actually, Tilly, that I think that's- You could be the lord of this manor.
Starting point is 01:04:15 I'm a bit torn, right? Lord Hubert. Any that does have a nice ring to it. Earl Hedge. Brother Hubert. Brother Hubert. Nice saying that one, correct? Nice.
Starting point is 01:04:24 I just feel like I'm a bit torn, right? Because out there, it's terrible, but yet anything's better than being alone. So even if we were to go out there and get torn apart by a windstorm, at least I would have perished with people around me. But if you're not interested in staying here and starting a new life, yeah, oh yeah, I'll go with you, sure.
Starting point is 01:04:51 Thank you for offering so long since I talked to anybody. Well, you're free to go. I mean, I'm getting mixed signals. Not sure what you want. I just want you to be aware that you can leave if you like. Well, us to pull Buggles aside. And I just want you to be aware that this is a house. You can have it entirely for the school.
Starting point is 01:05:11 Listen, now I get that, I get that. Invite anyone you wish to come live with you. I know that we're not the biggest. She turns her back to Hubert. Yeah, we all turn away. I know that we're not the biggest fan of the Hedgehog, but he seems like he knows his way around the Thin Lands and we don't and we're stuck here, right?
Starting point is 01:05:26 And Bugles, I have to ask, do you think maybe you're being a little jealous that a small, adorable little guy is going to also hang out with us? I'm the cute one. I know, Bugles. I'm the cute one. I know. You are the cute one. I could get a little hat. Is that what you want? You don't have to get a little hat. You have a little hood.
Starting point is 01:05:55 You can get a filthy loincloth. No. Talking a stupid voice. No, buckles. No one wants that. You are perfect. I just don't want to see this Absolutely dumb fuck hedgehog die. What's that?
Starting point is 01:06:14 What's up? It's almost over. Yes. I'm sorry. What's that? Can I just call me a dumb? He's clearly so He's not capable Buggles. He's not powerful like you Yes, he's gonna die. We think we think we think so fast guys So fast. What are you guys talking about? Now that you point these facts out, I do pity him. Yeah. Oh, all right. All right. Morally, we have to help him. We've decided it's our moral obligation
Starting point is 01:06:35 to let you come with us. I'll take it. Great. Brother Talitha. And our first order of business is sleeping in here. Brother Talitha. We'll see order of business is sleeping in here. Brother Talitha. We'll see, yes, yes, you look a little worse
Starting point is 01:06:49 for the way out there, it's gonna get hotter, so maybe we rest in here, look at that thing, and it's like glowing green now. Oh, it's glowing now? Yeah, it's glowing. Does it seem to be pulling more intensely? The tugging has got a little bit more intense, and there was a faint glow at first
Starting point is 01:07:02 that has now become much larger. Yeah, no, rest would be smart and then we can go start our new lives out there. I'm gonna miss Susan but maybe we'll run a foul of her. We'll see what happens. Excited to be amongst my new brothers. Let's rest. Yeah. Should we go back to Brother Ramius or we rest right here by the front door? Let's rest right here and let him think that we abandoned him. Oh, that's funny. That's a funny joke.
Starting point is 01:07:32 See, that's a good joke. We replaced him with this hedgehog friend. I like that joke. Brother Ramius, you wake up alone. In the dark. Awful. RuneRune. I actually... Shit.
Starting point is 01:07:45 When we do rest, Buggles is going, he's going to try to either, like on his watch or whatever, try to stealthily go over to Ramius and he's going to try, without waking him, to put the harmonica, slide it into his pocket. Oh. The harmonica that I took. The maestro's thing? Yeah. Okay. The one that he wanted, I slide it into his pocket.
Starting point is 01:08:17 So I imagine you guys go back towards the throne room. There's several beds in this place, there's plenty of places to sleep. I think it's worth. And Buckles, you walk over and slide in his pocket. You're not gonna have your real stealth because he's asleep. Very tired. Yeah. Utterly exhausted. He abandoned the adventure rather than... And then you perform a coup de grace. He slides the harmonic into his pocket and then slits his throat. Produces a halberd. All right.
Starting point is 01:08:49 And Hubert snores loudly. Harry! Harry! I'm pulling my hood down. What's left of my ears? Trying to sleep. I knew the second you mentioned him in the cage, two episodes, three episodes ago maybe,
Starting point is 01:09:15 two episodes ago, just setting up the scene that this was gonna be a nightmare. Ah! He is growing on me though. It is good to have a genizen of the realm. I will say, he's entirely unhelpful and knows nothing. Well, he doesn't know about books. He might know something about the creatures we discover.
Starting point is 01:09:36 He did say that, the one creature we... Anka? Anka, aka? Ankus. Ankus. Ankus. Anku. Ankus.
Starting point is 01:09:43 To be fair, this hasn't reached, what was that guy, who's that guy in Strange Giants that we met that was truly the worst? Oh, right. I forgot his name. It was the Helium comic. Yeah, that's right, it was on the tree. He's come back.
Starting point is 01:09:57 The giant tree. We met, when we met the hunter he loved, or he was obsessed with. Yeah, Nester Bendley. Nester Bendley. Nester Bendley. Nester Bendley. Oh! That was obsessed with. Yeah, Nestor Bindley. Nestor Bindley. Nestor Bindley. Nestor Bindley. Oh.
Starting point is 01:10:07 That was the worst. There's a bit of Nestor, there's a bit of Tumsy here. All right, do we wake up undisturbed? You do wake up undisturbed. And in fact, you wake up to the smell of something being cooked. And whoever's first to rise sees Hubert just like messing with some of the ingredients
Starting point is 01:10:33 that were in the reproduction lab, you think. It looks like there's some greens and whatnot. He's like, oh, look at this, I've made some breakfast, if you're interested. Some of the stuff they had here in the lab is good stuff. Just need to know how to cook it and whatnot. So I made some breakfast if you're feeling a bit peckish. Oh, Hubert, that is very kind.
Starting point is 01:10:57 Oh, lovely. It's the least I can do. What did you make? Oh, this here, this is greens and this is reds. Asta sniffs it. What does it smell like? It's a little pungent, but he eats it, no problem. Pungent like a mushroom?
Starting point is 01:11:13 It really smells bad. It smells like dirt. It smells like dirt. You know what, thanks. I like to fast in the morning. Oh, all right. So. Asta digs in, cans.
Starting point is 01:11:22 Fasting, yes. Could be rough out there. Might be better to go out on a full stomach. But you do you. I'm not offended either way. I'm just gonna eat my greens and reds. Muggles watches Asta carefully. Yeah, we all stare at Asta.
Starting point is 01:11:34 What effect the food has on her. You eat it, it tastes horrible. But you don't feel. Argh! You don't feel any worse for the world. He pulls out a string of green. Jolita puts a little bit of the hot sauce she carries with her on it.
Starting point is 01:11:49 It has like the texture. She's one of those people. It has the texture of seaweed, but the taste of like a mound of dirt. She turns quietly to the group. Could have just gone with seaweed. It tastes like dirt. I've eaten a lot of dirt.
Starting point is 01:12:04 So, what do you think? I think it's fantastic. Thank you so much. Thank you, Hubert. Thank you, my brothers. I was so hungry. I had to eat it. Did you like the reds? Yes, I had to eat it.
Starting point is 01:12:20 You can't have the greens without the reds. That's exactly what I was thinking. Put spikes on your chest But you know Guess I need some more reds Hubert in our brief time here. We've is met no one Friendly Oh or even than the slightest bit interested in helping us at all well They say you attract people to you based on the way that you project energy into the world. So it could be, Brother Amias, that you have been projecting negativity into the world,
Starting point is 01:12:52 and that's why negative people have been attracted to you. That is an interesting observation and very likely. However, your time here outside of the stump, you said was very dangerous. Did you have any allies beyond your immediate family? Oh, there's Susan, of course. She was a true rock in my life, as it were. Susan sentient. Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 01:13:23 I don't think he knows what that means. Very, very sentient. Asta whispers to Talitha. He gives me big Montessori vibes. Just like an upbringing that I don't understand. You're so, so, so, so sentient. Oh, oh, so the levels of sentience. You're right, he doesn't know what sentience is.
Starting point is 01:13:40 He knows a lot about specific things. But none about other things. Yeah, important stuff. And you think they'd know about it. Beyond Susan, none. No allies, no friends. My father died when I was very young, and then my ma, when I was a teenager,
Starting point is 01:13:56 and then Harry, sort of lost Harry. And then I met Susan, and... What about, what about these creatures that you did say were dangerous? And then I met Susan and not much yet. What about these creatures that you did say were dangerous? This Anko? Anko?
Starting point is 01:14:10 Anko? Yeah, they're everywhere. Yeah. Lots of terrible fey creatures. Anko's are just one of them. What is that? Could you describe it? They look like flying, skeletal, flaming, horrible things. Flying skeletal, flaming, horrible things.
Starting point is 01:14:26 Flying, skeletal, flaming, horrible things. They're all over the first world. You gotta watch out for them. They would just tear you apart. Do they affect your mind? Do they simply pull your body apart? I think they just tear at you. They're hungry, you know.
Starting point is 01:14:40 Do they come in flocks or do you find them alone ever? I think they're mostly alone, but all it takes is one of them very large They could kill all as large as me. I know much bigger than you You know there like if it took all Five of you and put you together and it would be like twice the size of that I roll a check see if I recognize this creature for yeah and it would be like twice the size of that. Can I roll a check to see if I recognize this creature? Yeah. This would be knowledge recall cult maybe? Cultism? Yeah. Natural four. 12.
Starting point is 01:15:16 Alright, shall we follow the track of the key? Is the key still glowing? Oh yeah, what's the key looking like? Now that you're back in the throne room, less glowing, less tug, but still a tug and a faint glow. So almost like warmer, warmer. When you say the key is trying to lead you out of this place. It seems so.
Starting point is 01:15:34 If I quote unquote follow it, it's getting stronger and glowing and then lifting more. I feel we have to put our faith in it. I'm gonna pursue, yes, I know I messed up on pursue a lead. And that whole thing I was setting up for months and months. I didn't follow through on that. However, I'm going to pursue a new lead and one of those leads is going to be the Shadeweather key. Okay, so anything to do with the Shadeweather key, you'll get a bone. Okay, so a good Shadeweather bone.
Starting point is 01:16:04 Shadeweather bone. Bum. Okay. So... A good shade with a bone. A shade with a bone. Yeah. So can we go back to the exit and set out and follow the key? Now keep in mind, the anchors are just one thing, so keep your eye on the skies. Don't want those coming down. Yes, yes. But you've also got to look all around.
Starting point is 01:16:17 There's just terrible things out there. Sometimes the air itself can be very stifling. Can you describe even one of these creatures in detail so that we may be better prepared to defend ourselves should we come across one of these wild creatures? There's these things we call gumboes, little gumboes, and they're about my size, but they usually travel in packs of eight, nine, ten. And they can spit this green stuff at you. And if you see that happen and don't breathe, don't breathe, you don't want to breathe that in. Make her feel real sick.
Starting point is 01:16:53 Poisonous. I guess so. But your gumbos, they're horrible. And then there's millipods. Millipods, real nasty. Only about this big, right? But if they bite you, you die. So you gotta watch out for millipods.
Starting point is 01:17:08 Where do they live? They live everywhere. They're in the ground and all around you. And then there's jack wanglers. Don't forget the jack wanglers. Did you name all of these? No, it's nasty. No, this is what Mama told me about.
Starting point is 01:17:19 The jack wanglers, they can both fly and go invisible. So they're pretty nasty, and they like to choke you with their clawed hands. And sometimes if they choke you for long enough time, they'll dig their claws right in your neck and you probably tend to die from that as well. You know, this is why I live in a hole and why this tree is going to be a real nice place. Just throw that option out there.
Starting point is 01:17:41 If you don't want to venture out into the world, we could just start a new society here in the trade be really fun. I Think right we're gonna follow. Yeah, yeah These are crazy like two of us will focus on following the key. There are some weird smoothies like to lethal obviously cuz you're doing the What did you just say you were doing with the key pursuing a swing a lead with it? And then like can we have some people focusing on like,
Starting point is 01:18:07 looking around us? Yeah, I mean, Asta has her katana out, and she is- Exploration mode activities. Yeah, maybe I'm like, bringing up the rear, you know, like walking backwards, forward. Like one person at the sky. Every so often. I'm looking at the ground.
Starting point is 01:18:20 The ground, because I have a melee weapon. Okay. So you leave the confines of Kniepo's court. I'm looking at the ground because I have a melee weapon. Okay. So you leave the confines of Kniepo's court. You're back outside and you remember there was like all those thick trees and that owl creature. And that sort of owl monkey or whatever was pulling you into the branches. or whatever was pulling you into the branches. You see that its corpse is still on the ground, but it's like not fossilized, but its remains look like way more time has passed
Starting point is 01:18:56 than has actually passed. It's only been two days since that fight, maybe three. And it looks like it's been dead for 10, 15 years. Wow. Whoa. Oh boy. Oh. Look at this.
Starting point is 01:19:10 Don't like it out here. It's nice to get some fresh air, but what's your key there telling you to do? She looks down at the key and lets it guide her. Now that you're outside, it's gone fully horizontal. It's just pulsating, this green glow, pulling you back out. If you follow the key,
Starting point is 01:19:35 you get back out onto that long pathway. But now it's not a long straight path, it's windy. Now, do you remember before it was windy and then as you got on it, it got straighter and straighter and straighter like it was pulling you towards the tree. Now it's all windy again and the entire landscape, while there are some things that are familiar to it, maybe you saw a mountain range that collapsed and then a tree grew. You see that mountain range but everything
Starting point is 01:19:59 just looks different and the key is tugging you off in the direction of this dark forest and the trees look like they're made out of coal no leaves but so thick that it doesn't even look like there's a pathway that doesn't look like a good place to go but if you listen in a key seems like that's where it's taken you I mean this is our only chance out of here that we know of. No place, no way out, but sure, yeah. We can certainly try.
Starting point is 01:20:33 I think we have to, and Asta just readies her katana and keeps like kind of side stepping while looking in the forest. Every crack of every branch you know is just like. Yes, let's keep our eyes open, shall we? Follow the key. Key, now pulling at your neck. You were to pull it backwards,
Starting point is 01:20:56 it'd be like a line around your neck where it's pulling you. The green getting brighter and brighter as you step into this horrible, otherworldly forest. Trees are, you know, certainly nothing like Kniepo's tree fortress, but they're so thick. And even though there are no leaves atop, all the branches form this canopy where it's darkness.
Starting point is 01:21:17 Do you want to try and do some magical light to counteract this? It's not dim light, it's darkness. Darkness. Yeah. I can't see. So is it it's it's just permanent nighttime? Yeah, permanent nighttime. Yeah, he will cast an orb of light over Asta that sort of like ties itself to her, lashes itself to her, and will go wherever she goes. And then he'll do the same on Zephyr and another bulb. It's to follow her. Then another on Talitha and then the same on himself. So four different
Starting point is 01:22:01 globes of light all shedding in 20 feet bright 20 feet dim on each of the four of us What it the effect it has in this world is that gives you 20 feet dim and then nothing and nothing beyond But that's enough to at least see your way While this thing is pulling you you can try and like Navigate your body to its like if it's going like this and maybe like slightly going you can try and navigate your body to its... Like if it's going like this and maybe slightly going this way, you can navigate your body, but there's still no path. You guys are passing through branches and having to slide through as the branches are
Starting point is 01:22:34 grasping at your skin. Can I do a survival check? Yeah. The Ramius wants to look at the ground. We're passing through and see if there's any sign of tracks or anyone else having passed through this area. Yeah, what's your survival? I'll give it a whirl. Plus eight. Nothing.
Starting point is 01:22:50 Nothing. It seems like no one has passed. No one has ever been here before. Even you know that can't be true. Hubert pipes up. He's like, oh, I've never been in here. Always was told not to go. Although you don't have to worry about the anchors or any flying creatures in here. It would be hard to attack from above, so that's good. That's very good. Just the Millipods and the Jack-o-Napes?
Starting point is 01:23:13 Yeah, Jack-ranglers. Millipods, yep. Then you hear like, kakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakak What is that? That's not good. I don't know. Let's keep moving. Keep moving. We could always go back to the tree and you look. You're not too far into the forest and you look and Kniepo's tree seems much farther away than it was when you came in. No going back, Hubert. We must move forward.
Starting point is 01:23:39 All right. You keep pressing forward, following this key as it tugs you through these branches. And eventually you see the terrain and the area changes up ahead, opens up and looks eerily familiar to all of you You arrive at seven arches the real seven arches I Mean at least it looks identical to what you remember
Starting point is 01:24:23 Whether it's some simulation or some sort of shadowy version of the real thing. It's impossible to determine. I mean, you certainly wasn't in a forest like this, but there it is. It looks exactly like you remember it. And as you draw nearer to these arches, you are the first one to notice that the largest arch starts to hum. I thought these weren't functional. Perhaps they are here. With the key.
Starting point is 01:25:05 The key. Is it still dark? If we look back, are there still woods? Yeah, still darkness behind you. You've got that dim light around you. Those of you with dark vision can see fine, but you're seeing everything in black and white outside of the dim light bulbs.
Starting point is 01:25:18 Yeah, but the coloring that we're seeing in the dim light, is it that same muted coloring? It's very muted, yeah. Not so much the black and white that Buggles sees, but just like absence of color. But it looks different than the Seven Arches where we were in terms of the coloring of the landscape. Right. And also, just so we're clear, the real Seven Arches was where the unicorn, Bolon, that
Starting point is 01:25:40 was not the one in town. We're talking about in the woods. Yeah, that's what you see here. Oh, we see the real ones. on that was not the one in town. We're talking about in the woods. Yeah, that's what you see here. Oh, we see the real ones. The real ones. You're not back at the town, you're not back at the fake seven arches, you're back at the real ones.
Starting point is 01:25:52 Where the ritual was taken. It looks identical. We step into the center, what happens? You start to walk closer, all of a sudden the arch begins to glow with the same color that is coming off the key. This like faint green glow that gets brighter and brighter the closer you get to that arch
Starting point is 01:26:10 and the archway itself starts to crackle. I think we can leave. Yes, based on what Hewitt told us, it would be advisable. Hopefully this, well, I mean, we've all been through Iodara. Yeah. Oh, I haven't.
Starting point is 01:26:26 This is new to me. Yes. Last time we went, it did have a curious effect on all of us, just warning you. But can we see through what you said it's static? Talk about that later. You look and you don't see anything on the other side, but as you do get closer, light begins to cascade down the archway coalescing into an opaque shimmering jade green veil and it looks like there's something beyond it but it's not like looking at a picture in a storybook like it feels like there's a world beyond but this jade green veil obscures
Starting point is 01:27:01 what's beyond. I think whatever is on the other side is better than here. I agree. My concern is if all it took was to walk in here with the Shade Breeder key, it would take us back to the Material Plane. Kinepo didn't do it. He also... Maybe he wasn't worthy. They weren't worthy.
Starting point is 01:27:19 They also implied that we were stuck here. If they knew it was so simple, why would they say such a thing? They also implied that we were stuck here. If they knew it was so simple, why would they say such a thing? You've never been in here before? You've never encountered this space? Yeah, never seen anything like it. Never seen archways or anything like this, but I agree with your friend here. Wherever that door goes, it's your friend here. Um, wherever that door goes, is better than here.
Starting point is 01:27:47 But it may not be the Material Plane. Just maybe somewhere else. Maybe... Anything is better than the Thin Lines. Do we know that we can step through ahead of the key? All at once. Should we try?
Starting point is 01:28:02 Ahead of the key... Um, sure, Asta. Sure, Asta. Yeah, Asta very... Would you like to go? Dain Talied puts her hand up to the gate while Zephyr is there with the key to see if it's tangible at this time. Or if you need the key to like walk through it. Yeah, you walk up to it. And every step that Zephyr takes closer to it, it glows, it's
Starting point is 01:28:25 louder, the green gets brighter, it lights up the whole area around it, just washing everything in this Oz-like green glow. And you put your hand on it and it's almost as if it's tugging you towards it. You have to forcibly pull away. And the archway is wide enough that all of you could walk through semi-simultaneously. Everyone, if we're going to do this, we should lash ourselves together. Yeah. Wizard of Oz style.
Starting point is 01:29:02 I'll hold the little guy. He rips on the end with Buggles. He perches himself up straight thinking he's taller than Boggles. Shall we do this? Together. Let us pass through. Wait. He turns. Susan!
Starting point is 01:29:20 If you can hear me, I'll always love you. One two three and through You step through And Immediately upon passing through Humid air just slaps you in the face like a hot towel. You look around and surrounding you is just verdant jungle. Oh, nothing. It's Castorvel.
Starting point is 01:29:59 I was wondering, I'm like, did we? What? Nothing like the shadowy thin lands or the more temperate wildwood where Hasta is from. The trees are huge sprawling affairs and the air shivers with chittering insects and hooting beasts. As you step through, you look back
Starting point is 01:30:21 and see that you're standing beneath another archway. It's like an old stone archway. There's runes emblazoned on it. The portal just winks out. And I look at the key. Is it? Can I turn it back on? Key just goes... See you next week. Oh! Check out another Could It Be? Another planet? Yeah, that would be so cool.
Starting point is 01:30:54 We went back to the material plane, all right. There goes my backup character idea. It's time to make your membership official. Become an official member of the Naish today at JoinTheNaish.com. That's JoinTheNaish.com where you'll get access to exclusive podcasts and live streams you can't find anywhere else. See what everybody's talking about and join the Naish today at JoinTheNesh.com Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

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