The Glass Cannon Podcast - Gatewalkers Episode 32 – No Place Like Home
Episode Date: April 26, 2024After a harrowing battle, the heroes realize the gravity of their situation. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/TfjhuqQ36e0 This episode was sponsored by Demiplane, Foundry VTT and Norse Foundry. ...Check out Demiplane's Pathfinder Nexus and character creation tools at https://bit.ly/GCNOfficialTools See why tabletop gamers everywhere have made the switch to Foundry Virtual Tabletop at https://foundryvtt.com/gcp Visit https://lumen.me and use code "GCP" to get $50 off your Lumen. EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/gcp Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! Visit https://auraframes.com and use code "GCN" to get $30 off plus free shipping. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/GCN to get 10% off your first month. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for hundreds of hours of exclusive shows and benefits, make your membership official and join Glass Cannon Nation today by becoming a subscriber at jointhenaish.com. Watch new episodes when they premiere every Thursday at 8PM ET on youtube.com/theglasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment.
Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast.
This is it.
This is it.
This is Kniepoh.
I'm afraid.
So here we go.
Let's see what old Kniepoh can do.
Take Kniepoh out for a spin.
Oh no.
First thing Kniepoh's going to do is rakeoh out for a spin! Oh no. First thing Kniepoh's gonna do is rake a claw
across Zephyr's face.
Oh no.
Us is going to run up, straight up in a line,
and do a spell strike.
Right there!
It like steps out of that space and appears
over on the other side of the room near Zephyr.
So I don't hit it.
You don't hit it.
They just reach out their arms.
You see your shadows on the floor
begin to lift off the floor and pull towards
K'Nippo's hands. This is what he was doing.
Assuming the elves shadow.
Yeah.
So I'll reload and shoot.
Reload.
Fire!
Natural one.
Oh!
Little four rounder, first I'm gonna do a claw on Asta
with K'Nipppo, the Slim.
Oh no.
No, no, no, no.
Oh no.
I'm down so many hit points.
You just go to dying one.
First action.
I'm dying as well.
All right, so Buggles and Zephyr go to dying two.
I'm not having fun anymore.
It was fun for a while.
Yeah.
It was fun for a minute there.
It is Talith let this turn.
She's like, so, she wakes up from the spill.
It's like, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, Slowly sliding down, they smile and they grab Buggles.
Welcome home.
And they die.
The adventure continues.
They're mad!
They were saying we can't get out.
Now. The End Good evening, everyone.
Welcome back to the Glass Cannon podcast.
Thinking about getting an octopus. No, no, no, no, no, no, everyone. Welcome back to the Glass Cannon podcast. Thinking about getting an octopus.
No, no, no, no, no, no. What?
Like, like hunting and catching one?
No, no.
A pet.
I'm gonna get him.
I assume you'd have questions.
I'm gonna get that octopus if you have one in mind.
I assume you'd have questions about that.
Is it Paul?
I just saw these videos have come up in my algorithm of a guy who just he receives like
baby octopuses in the mail and like octopi I guess and raises them and I'm like I think
I can get into that.
Not a bunch, not a bunch, not a bunch.
You want to one.
Is it because you want to advance knowledge of future World Cup winners?
Is that what they do?
They like pick. There's one octopus.
There's an octa- one octa- they're very smart. Some say they're aliens.
Yes.
But I think I- do they grow though to be like all larger?
I think it depends on the octopus, right?
Yeah, it depends on the type.
There's so small.
Because I don't want to have to start getting larger.
They also only live for like three years.
Tanks and stuff?
Tanks, yeah. I don't want to deal with big tanks.
Yeah, if they could live as long as us, they would be the rulers.
Hold on. Because I grew up with, we had saltwater fish.
We had a saltwater tank.
And that is like, you got to do a lot of work for that.
And if you're doing a saltwater tank,
you got to think about that.
This isn't your average goldfish.
I just want to domesticate an octopus.
I don't understand why this needs to be so difficult.
What is the fecal matter of an octopus look like?
What does it look like?
I'm going to Google that.
I imagine there's some ink involved.
You know they can like get out of there.
I don't think that's an octopus, that's a squid.
No, but octopuses squirt ink.
I think they do.
Yeah, they do, when they're frightened.
Defense making it, they squirt it and then they leave.
This particular gentleman that I saw on the Instagram,
when he first-
You can't gesture at Joe, he's the guy.
Joe, do you have octopi?
The busted octopus is in the mail.
Well, this is super easy then.
He's right there.
Right.
Well, this is what I'm working towards.
I get them in the mail.
I have no choice but to raise them as my own.
When he put it in the tank, it was their first day together.
It got spooked and sure enough, ink, and it hid in its little ink and then the ink dissipated.
It was just standing there.
But...
But busted.
They're amazing little creatures.
I guess they're not that smart.
And you can like form bonds with them
where they like come out of the tank and they like walk up
your arm.
Well, did you see the documentary?
No.
My octopus teacher?
Oh, you got to watch the octopus teacher documentary.
Oh, Troy.
I mean, it's going to make you want to get an octopus more,
probably.
I'm listening.
It's going to make you, rather than getting a tank
and having an octopus there, it's
going to make you want to live in the ocean.
Like leave your family and just live with an octopus.
I don't think I want to do that. I don't know that extreme. I mean would you how important is friendship to you?
Guess if the kids were all off at school
Can we talk about this guy for a second you skipped over the part where
He gets them in the mail. Yeah, but like like it just happened? I'm assuming like dark web shit.
Does he order them or do people just send them?
So he purchases them from breeders?
He purchases them from...
Illegal sellers in foreign countries.
I think it's legit. I think he is a legit...
He might be a marine biologist or maybe an armchair marine biologist.
It might be dirty. Don't worry about where I'm getting the octopus.
I'm gonna source it.
Are you gonna be the Tiger King of octopi? I want the best price
And yes, I'd like you from now on to call me the octopus kid
Think they're expensive good news though. How much is Google? I looked up a small octopus
I typed into Google tiny octopus pet,
because I feel like that's what you would search.
That's a really good search.
Yeah, pig me octopus is a thing.
So you don't have to get a big tank.
Perfect.
They look really cute.
Everyone I'm seeing is just if you want to eat them.
Oh.
Whole octopus by the pound.
Oh.
That's a pretty good search.
No.
I actually do really like grilled octopus.
I'm never eating octopus again.
After seeing the doc?
Not even that, it was just like,
just getting to know how intelligent they are
and everything, it's just like.
I think it might be out for me too.
For me that lasted like two months
after seeing the documentary.
It was like two months, I was like, no, never again.
You can get one for 56 bucks.
I ate them again. Is it a good one? It's on sale.
It's usually 50, 999. It's usually 59. 99 hitting the cephalopod a few times.
Take it a few blows.
Is it alive? Yes. Okay. Oh, I'm sorry.
And I said a reminder. Yeah. This I'm on Quora, which is a terrible site.
And this guy says, what's it like having an octopus as a pet?
It's a lot of fun, but we'll have a tragic ending.
That's the first sentence of a long diatribe.
For who?
I guess that they're short-lived.
And they only live about a year, this guy says.
Whoa.
Wow.
Well, in the wild, it's like two or three.
If you keep them in an aquarium,
they say they won't live more than a couple years.
Well.
See, I don't think I could deal with that.
For 56.50.
Oh.
You can get a, they have females with eggs available
March through June.
Baby octopi.
You can become an octopi, you can have an octopi orgy.
Ooh, I'd have to put an unrelated male in the tank.
Yes.
So they could just keep making babies.
Then I would have an endless supply of octopi.
I truly would be the octopus king.
All they march through June.
Well, is that when they're most fertile?
I don't know.
They only live for one year.
That's wild.
They get attached to something.
I don't think I could do that.
They only live for one year.
To me, an octopus guy, like this guy who orders these octopuses
I feel like that's the same as reptile guy
You know who like has a ton of exotic like lizards and stuff and like a lot of the time which guy pets
Well, a lot of times they don't live that long. It's just like I have this exotic breed
No, they live depends on the credible amounts depends on a guana can be like 17
Yeah, I think like gecko like small lizards don't live a long time.
But also your house is gonna smell
a lot better than that guy's house.
Oh, true.
Nobody wants a reptile house.
I don't think it would be stinky.
Did any of you ever had like a snake growing up?
Were you one of those weird snake people?
Yes.
I had turtles.
Turtles?
That's borderline weird.
Oh, that's so fun.
And they were illegal in New Jersey at the time.
I don't know if they still are.
My dad got them in New York City.
In Chinatown?
Smuggled them over the border.
But they started to get too,
we kept having to buy bigger and bigger aquariums.
And then eventually we had to donate them to a pet store
because they, also like,
the turtles got to be like, you know,
five, six inches long, they were pooping a lot.
Yeah.
I feel like you get them and you,
or like you either think or you're told
that they're gonna stay a certain size,
but they always grow up to be bigger.
Same with pigs.
There's no such thing as a teacup pig.
Yeah.
I didn't have reptiles, but I had rats.
Dreams just dying.
Wow.
Even weirder.
You had rats?
Even weirder.
What were their names?
Meatball.
Belly and Baloo.
These are perfect names.
And there was another one.
It was one that I adopted that was later on in life.
It was a completely albino one.
Plagy?
It already had a name.
I remember what it was.
Ryan?
It was really cute.
He was enormous.
Stinky, the brain, I don't know.
I don't remember what his name was.
Stinky, funny.
Wow, mice.
Rats. Rats. I discovered something new about you almost every show. They are't remember what his name was. Pinkie. Wow, mice. Rats. Rats.
I discovered something new about you almost every show.
Yes, they are like little tiny rodent dogs.
They are very smart and cute.
Speaking of stinky pets, I had ferrets as a kid.
Those are stinky.
They were awesome.
I mean, I love ferrets.
I think they're great animals.
We had Jelly Bean, Bonnie, and Clyde.
And they were stinky though.
And then later I had a snake.
So I became a weird snake person.
Did you walk around town with it around your neck?
No, no, he was a ball python.
His name was Monty.
And he-
Did you ever shoot him on an arrow?
Did the physics of that ever work?
Had an enemy?
The origin is me trying that.
No, he was, I didn't become a reptile person because snakes are weird.
Like he wouldn't eat in front of me.
He was like a very conscious, self-conscious eater.
He wasn't into live mice.
I had to like, this is crazy, I had to buy frozen mice and then you heat them up in like
hot water, like massage them and heat them up.
And then I would have to dangle it,
you have to entice, it was like a whole rigmarole
and I was like, you know what, I'm good.
I don't need it.
I don't wanna make you relive traumatic memories,
but can you talk a little more about
massaging a dead frozen mouse?
Not traumatic, it was fine.
What do you do for work?
You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense.
You're so tense.
You're so tense.
You're so tense.
You're so tense.
You're so tense.
You're so tense.
You're so tense.
You're so tense.
You're so tense.
You're so tense.
You're so tense.
You're so tense.
You're so tense.
You're so tense.
You're so tense.
You're so tense.
You're so tense.
You're so tense.
You're so tense.
You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. You're so tense. Big snake guy. Big snake guy. Spent his, uh, fell salary on reptiles? Yeah, he was like, and it started early, like,
and he went to see you and I was at a,
I was on stage at a De La Soul concert
and I'm standing there and Chad Brown is like
out in the audience.
And he's like, and I knew, I knew it was Chad Brown
cause he's like a big like college star and everything.
And I knew about the reptile thing,
but he was looking at me the entire time I was up there,
like he wanted to murder me.
Looking at you like a reptile would.
Yeah.
Stalking it.
Was he jealous that you were on stage?
I don't know.
I don't know what the problem was that he had me,
but a riot broke out because like they,
everyone thought that De La Salle was going to play music
and they were only like, they,
they signed for an appearance fee.
And they're just like, we're not playing any music. What's wrong with you people? And people started throwing
stuff on the stage and like people started to get up and this guy's like kicking people in the face
and everything. And I told my friend, I was just like, we have to get out of here because I know
Chad Brown is going to use this excuse to kill me. It's going to feed you to do a snakes. Yeah.
Wow. I have so many questions.
Get out of there. It's gonna feed you do a snakes.
Yeah.
Wow.
I have so many questions.
Yeah.
Was that your, the only riot you've ever been a part of?
No, I was at the, after the Broncos, the Superbowl 32.
That was a pretty big riot.
It was a good riot.
I was downtown for that.
That was fun.
Classic riot.
Yeah.
Write in with your favorite riot.
Yeah, write in with your favorite riots.
Oh God.
Well, I don't know. I don't want another pet. But I think if I did go, if I stretched out beyond just
cat, I'm thinking octopus.
Will you keep us posted? I'm so curious about your journey with this.
I'm going to look into it. Now that I know it only lives for a year.
Yeah, it's hard.
I'm both being like, ah, that's sad. And also being like, I'm the one that can make it live forever.
It's also with most challenge accepted.
The octopus king.
How do you think, what would you do as the octopus king
to help your cat bond with your octopus?
What would you do with your power?
Well, I wouldn't keep them in the same room together.
I feel like that would be a recipe for disaster.
But I would put them behind a glass so they could stare at each other and learn each other's
ways.
Like a glass tank?
Yeah, like a glass tank or maybe just a wall.
I think they can live outside for a little while.
I'd want it to get some fresh air.
Does it mean it?
I feel like you really got a research octopus thing. recent octopus. Walking all over the guy's hand.
Anyways, Colin and my octopus.
I've seen octopuses just running through the grass and then climbing trees.
I'll tell you.
It lives for a year.
It never gets to see the see the grass.
Put it in a stroller like people in New York City.
Just walk it around.
Take it to the Yankee game.
With a little leash.
Just take it to a luxury box.
It calls itself the octopus.
What would you do if you only had a year to live?
Would you stay scooped up in a tank the whole time?
A horrible life.
That's probably why they only live a year.
That's what I was about to say.
Because no one airs them out.
No, because people say, hey, look at my octopus.
They're like tearing them, taking them out in the open air.
That could be a two.
They're slowly suffocating.
It's two.
That could be a two.
It cuts their life spans down by a third.
People are like, this is how octopi walk.
No, that's them desperately trying to get back to the water.
They're trying to get back into the tank.
Well, I've definitely learned that I
need to do some more research before I make a hasty purchase.
But for $56, I'm willing to try I need to do some more research before I make a hasty purchase.
For 56 bucks, I'm willing to try.
Dude, down from 59?
I'll let it live here, and if it dies, just...
Francis, will you clean it up?
Folks, we're going to take a quick break, and we'll be back with more of the octopus
king in France.
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I am literally sitting down as I record this.
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City.
Glass Canada Live, Kansas City, and Austin are up next.
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I always make sure I've got my Nord VPN ready to rock for cybersecurity
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If you are watching this right now live
It's because you're not at our Kansas City show right now as the show is
Airing on YouTube. We are doing a glass cannon live show in Kansas City
My body is in Kansas City and probably full of sauce
In two days, we're going to be in Austin, Texas
I think that shows probably sold out by now and then tickets for the rest of the year except for Philly are on sale.
You can get tickets to Vancouver on May 23rd.
That one's almost sold out too.
St. Paul, Minnesota on May 25th.
That one's almost sold out.
And then we're going to be in Skid's hometown of Denver on June 20th.
Nashville, Tennessee on June 22nd.
And then of course, we'll be in Indianapolis all Gen Con week.
We have a show on sale at Helium Comedy Club.
That show sells out every year.
There's only a few tickets left for that.
And then the next night, we're doing Call of Cthulhu live at the Athenaeum.
This year is going to be Modern Call of Cthulhu.
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on October 12th.
The last show of the year, Philly will be on sale really soon.
Head to glasscannonetwork.com slash tour to get your tickets and come see this group of
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Speaking of beautiful human beings, how about our sponsors?
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Speaking of pretty, it is the one thing. what's the one thing besides gaming that ties all
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They're so pretty to look at.
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That's.
You finally made it to the court of Kenipo the Slim.
And I would think you would all agree the fight delivered.
It was intense and we recorded it so long ago, I don't remember anything about it.
That's another thing to keep in mind.
It's like a little subtle thing that's happening here is we haven't recorded in the longest
time since we've started recording, pretty much, besides Christmas holidays.
I think so.
So it's been a really big gap and I'm excited to jump back in and also a good time, I think,
to have that gap because it definitely feels like we are on the cusp of a major change
here.
How was your third of 18 trips out of town this year?
It was fantastic. I managed to both re-injure my knee, which may need surgery, I'm not sure, and dislocate
my shoulder again.
Oh, what's happening?
Did you fall down a flight of stairs?
I played basketball.
Oh, that's it?
Guess I shouldn't have done that.
Can't do that at your age.
And then...
You can't just play sports.
I was literally putting on clothes in my shoulder
Wow
Start showing up new to the report from here on I'll wear pants. It's the shirt that it's the shirt that really
Well, you have traversed this
Tree here in the first world you've gone to what looks like every single room, and you have now defeated Kniepo the
Slim.
You're all in pretty rough shape.
I'm sure you have as many questions as you do answers, having heard their big spiel before
the fight.
There is also a sentient hedgehog in a cage.
Ooh.
Sentient.
Yes.
And you know it's sentient because it says,
Oi!
Oi there you smoothies!
No.
Nope.
You gonna win an orga out of what?
No.
In out of the clay pose.
Fetish is gonna let me sit in here.
What?
That better be a joke.
You better be messing around. I kill the hedgehog is
he speaking is he speaking a common is he speaking common you have in a town
for any other accents oh no this is just so what I was born with oh no wait I can
sometimes I can sound like me mom ready. Oh
She was a rascal I
Just want to say you and you wanted this
This is something you wanted. This is real monkey. So you have to deal with this is a real monkey spy
Yeah, I'm not even in the book.
Oh no.
Oh no.
Oh no.
Or am I?
That was me mom again.
Please, I'm unconscious right now.
Please do not revive me.
Yeah.
Until this is over.
Until this guy is dead or is gone.
In all seriousness.
What's your name, friend?
Mordyve, it's you, Mon-Edge.
Pleasure to meet you.
What is your name?
I didn't quite catch it as Kanaebo
was talking to you before the theatrics broke out.
Can I roll a perception to see if this hedgehog is really
a hedgehog or if they're lying?
What's going on with this hedgehog?
All right.
It's just shaking its cage.
Take all the time you want.
I've been in here for a while,
but would be nice to stretch my little legs.
What are you doing in a cage?
A Kenebo put me in here.
I just sort of wandered into this tree by accident
and got captured.
Been here for months.
Not sure what they had in mind for me.
At any time I didn't know if they wanted to kill me, eat me, or fuck me.
But here I am, and it seems like now I'll be free unless you're thinking otherwise.
A lot of weird looks coming from all of you.
Wait, you wandered into the tree.
Did you wander into this, these thin lands?
Oh, the thin lands?
No, I'm from here, from from the first world as it were.
I just sort of uh found my way in here one day thinking it'd be a
nice safe place to sit and uh turns out it wasn't.
Turns out it's a very dangerous place and I was captured by that
thing that you just killed. Thank you! I should have said thank you right away
um but again I'm still in this cage here and...
Why?
Starting to feel like we're not gonna be friends.
Why do you have a little hat on?
You like that? Me mom gave me this hat. Yep.
What's your mother's name?
My mother's name? Oh well it's awesome.
Oh it's Helga. Helga Hedge. Yes. Old Helga Hedge hedge she made this hat for me. She did
Miss her though. She died long time ago one second
Once I just oh whatever tickles your prickles you have to understand everything we've met in here has fought us
So just give us a second. Oh and we'll deal totally understand
You know we want to be friends,
but no one wants to be friends with us so far.
I understand.
Asta pulls everybody over to circle up around Buggles
as his unconscious body.
And Hubert's just...
Clying there.
I think we should let him out.
Okay, but can we just get a little better first?
I'm pretty hurt.
Buggles.
Buggles is unconscious in front of us.
Oh, Buggles, I almost stepped on him.
Oh.
Just in case this thing isn't nice.
Absolutely.
Let's, let's...
Hubert.
Yes?
Do you know anything about getting out of the Thin Lans?
That's a difficult thing. There really is no way out.
He takes his hat off and kind of rings it in his hands
When can a bow there welcomed you home?
Well, you know that portal you came through to get here you came to a portal. Yes. Yes
Only can I poke and make those so you can't exactly walk out of here the thin lands
Then the thin lands themselves are stable enough, but beyond them
is Nighthold, and the shadow storms of their place will scour your dead, assuming the Yankos
don't get you first. He just shakes his head as the black eyes are gleaming, he's like,
I'm sorry friends, but you are well and truly spiked if you're hoping to get out of here,
there's just no way out. But it's not all bad. You just kind of need to start a new life here in the forest. I can't wait
to get home and see my friends. My family's all dead. But it'd be nice to see my friends.
You could come and not live with me, but you could stay for a little while until you find
a place of your own. Where do you live? In the forest. In the Thinlands?
Yes, in the Thinlands.
This place is a bit weird.
I'm assuming you're from the Botanical Plain?
Yeah, never been.
Never been there.
The hood is nice.
But yeah, the Thinlands are pretty horrible.
Just trying to find your own little place
that you can scour away, put your stuff.
I lived in a tree for a while,
a little hole of a tree.
Not much smaller than this, just lived in that hole.
It was much better than walking around outside.
Does Count R'nolc still hold power in Nighthold?
Count R'nolc, I've heard K'Nippo talking about Count R'nolc.
No, no, I don't think so.
I don't think anyone's seen Count R'nolc in a long, long time.
It's exiled, I believe.
Right.
No, it's just sort of a lawless wasteland with a lot of dangerous
creatures going about. There's no one in charge, so everyone just kind of kills each other to
survive. I'd love to leave, to be honest, but as I said, there's just no way out.
Do you have any medical skills? Medical skills? Ummm... What is that?
Healing.
Healing.
First aid?
No.
I don't think he knows what that is.
He didn't know what medical meant so I don't think...
No, no.
When I get hurt, I just rest and put some ice on my wounds and eventually I feel better.
What ice is which is interesting?
Yeah, we have ice here.
Melts really fast though.
Oh, one more second please. I was gonna... Drive him in here for one second. Melts really fast. One more second. I've been in here for
months. Brother Amos, might you be able to heal us? He's been in the midst of a prayer and he's
been trying to tune out this nonsense as much as possible. He has a hand on bugles and is thinking
about trying to treat wounds on him, but he's worried it's gonna take too long.
So he is going to fire off the heal spell for everyone.
And he'll 7 points of HP damage.
Oh, that felt nice!
Did I get any of that?
It washes out into the room.
Everybody goes up.
Seven.
Seven.
Not just for your friends.
And then we'll still need more.
But we lose the wounded because of it. Not if he doesn't treat wounds. Oh. Seven. Is that just for your friends? And then we'll still need more. But we lose the wounded because of- Not if he doesn't treat wounds.
Oh. Yeah. Or you either treat- or get to full HP.
Yeah, or get to full HP.
Buggles, are you alright?
Yes, I was having this horrible dream that I-
this awful hedgehog talking in a clawing terrible voice.
Yes, it is another denizen of the First World.
Poking at me with a pitchfork.
And a...
Ah!
Oi there!
Oh.
What's going on there?
Look at you! You're just like me!
What are you?
Um, name's Hubert Hedge.
Saw you taking a little nap there.
Good to see you awake.
Uh, pleasure to meet you.
Uh, strange circumstances. Look at me, I'm still in this cage.
And it must have been what you felt like when you were laying on the ground there.
Now you're up. And yet I'm still in this tiny little cage.
Take your time, though. I know...
I'm gonna turn into a perception to determine if this thing has ill intent.
Okay.
With us?
Same.
While you guys do that, Asta is slowly walking towards the cage.
Asta!
What?
Stop it!
Just looking at you with its black eyes.
I'm just walking over.
Nature I'm assuming, right?
Well, perception.
Oh, perception.
Yeah, you could do nature to know
like, do these type of creatures, are they nasty?
I'll do nature to you guys.
Or perception-like.
I wanna perceive if this thing has ill intent.
And with my Norse foundry
Joe die Nat 20
It is they do roll that 20s nation you want to pick one up even for Joe on occasion
No, he seems pretty genuine.
He seems totally safe.
Affable, friendly, outgoing.
Affable, friendly, outgoing.
Sixteen on the knowledge of nature.
A talking hedgehog from the first world?
Yeah, no, it's...
They're like anybody.
There could be nasty ones, but you've never heard that their species are particularly
untrustworthy. You haven't they're like anybody there could be nasty ones, but you've never heard that their species are particularly
Untrustworthy or they have any kind of particular
Magical skills or no, I mean it seems like he if he didn't know what the word healing is He's probably useless in a fight. He's clearly never been hurt with us that goes to be a sorcerer
Open the cave and she says I've never met a hedgehog. I didn't I didn't like just open it up for him. Oh, oh, thank you
He squeezes his way out. Oh
Feels good to stretch me spikes. It's weird cuz it wasn't even locked. Oh
Opened it what?
Oh, I think he got they got me in here with fear. I could have just walked right out
But then it would have killed me. Anyways, thank you. Thank you for letting me out
I have a thought to stretch my spikes. I have a fear about what can even wanted with you really
I think can even was after your spikes
You know, it's possible. They were always
Talking about how I looked there's a machine next door
Machine yeah, they would take me out for walks once in a while, put a collar around me. It was very humiliating.
That's cruel.
Did they ever put you in a machine?
No! Never put me in a machine!
You would know it because it looked like a certain anatomical feature.
Yeah, no, no, never saw it. Never went in it. Yeah, they were real weird. Real weird. Never quite knew what they wanted with me.
Was there anyone else being held captive here?
No, no. No, there was people that were brought in and experimented all and whatnot.
There was a creature wearing a mask that would do terrible things.
Terrible, terrible things. I just kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to get harmed.
But, yeah, no no no one ever otherwise Kniepoh never did
anything to you besides take you on an occasional walk yeah if they did something
I don't remember were you like his pet like a friend that's the vibe that I got
which is very very rude insulting yeah We're not domesticated pets, we're people!
That'd be like making you a pet!
Also, he had a gorga.
They had a gorga?
They had a gorga.
Maybe they were-
Kniegoh also seemed a bit like a tortured soul.
Yeah, yeah, I got that bit.
Did he open up to you at all?
Did he say anything?
Not so much to me-
Show any vulnerability?
As to the air, they like to talk to themselves a lot, like to pontificate aloud and whatnot.
They say anything other than what they said to us when we arrived.
That was the general gist that I got from them. All the time they were very mad about
something that happened a long time ago. Held a grudge against those elves, like you. Creatures like you.
Surprised that they even offered you the chance
to become slim like them, whatever that means.
Never liked when he said that.
But anyhow, yeah, no, they were just real weird, real sad.
And they also just sorta always felt
like they were gonna perish.
And so I think that's why it was imperative that they find someone to take over.
But now they're dead, thankfully.
The Brother Amos would like to examine the slim corpse with perhaps a medicine check of, you know, just to get a sense of maybe its workings.
Was it what what was
killing it was a seized let's not forget the shape is on Kniep ohs it is yes when
we fought him he was wearing the shade with her key he they were they were they
were yeah yeah they touched it remember and that caused shadows to form around them. So we need to take that
Okay, and research it. I'm only a little bit about the shape of the key, right? We just know we don't really know how to use it
Correct you can do some some checks on that but you want to do a medical check on the body
Yeah, okay. I want to get a sense of if it was old age or something else that's a 22.
I imagine you examined bodies after death before.
You think in your abbey you ever had to like come in and consult on autopsies?
No, not many.
A lot of this is new to him.
He's training in a lot of this.
He did more gardening at the abbey than medical work.
Maybe you just read books about the anatomy. new to him. He's training in a lot of this. He did more gardening at the Abbey than medical work.
You just read books about the anatomy.
Yeah, he became a little bit more focused on it after the fire when he was really badly
injured and he had to learn a lot about the people that he met that were taking care of
him and stuff like that. Taught him a lot. So he's still new to it in the grand scheme
of things.
Right. So I imagine like if you were a doctor that did a million autopsies and then were brought into a room with an alien, yeah,
you would just go on what you know. But everything about this creature is foreign
to you. Its skin doesn't have the same texture as yours. It's this like wet
leather, almost reptilian, you know, without slicing into it or anything. You
just examine it and you don't see any sort of...
Any sign of decay.
Any sign of decay, disease. It's almost as if without delving deeper into its physical anatomy that this fear of death was just a common, like, almost human fear that is shared across species.
Perhaps he thought he would die one day.
It's like a midlife crisis.
It could have been any day.
I mean he could soon or distant future.
I mean immortality seems like something, not an uncommon feature of creatures in the first world.
And if he was not, if he didn't have it, then I mean life would, no matter how many thousands
of years he might have left, it would seem like an instant.
Yeah, they've been around for thousands of years, but even they were worried about it.
Always thought they could die.
If they were worried about dying,
it's just when they died,
they seemed happy.
And said welcome home.
I think, my understanding is like any civilization that has kingdoms.
A king wants a sire.
And that is their biggest fear,
is to die without one.
Yeah, an heir.
A king wants an heir.
So, what?
They don't have one.
A king is a sire.
A king is a sire.
So why would they die happy?
Yeah, you reversed it.
A king wants a sire.
A king wants two sires.
A sire and an heir.
I grew up in the woods.
We did not have kings, so I don't understand this innate need to-
You did sigh, I was thinking.
Well, of course, we-
Sighed a little period.
We procreated, but not-
We should all be impressed that a fox can speak English.
Thank you so much, Buggles, I'm so happy you're awake.
I talk too.
You, however-
We know.
I like you.
Oh, I think you and I are gonna be fast friends.
My fear is that-
What's your name?
Then tell me your fears.
I should get all of your names, don't I?
I will tell you my name when we are not in this room.
Why do you want to know our names so badly?
Well, just, you know mine.
It'd be nice if we...
...changed our pleasantries.
Yes.
I know. You just had a tough fight.
Some of you almost died, that's all that.
So we can wait. Whatever. We'll move at your pace, but you just had a tough fight. Some of you almost died, that's all that. So we can wait.
Whatever, we'll move at your pace,
however you feel comfortable.
I haven't really talked to anyone in a long time,
so it's just nice to stretch me vocal cords, as it were.
Well, the good news is you're free to go.
Oh, well, if only it were that easy,
so there's no place to really go.
We always think I could just kinda
spend some time with you.
But you said you had friends.
I got friends.
There's a flower that I really like.
Do you not know where they are?
I have a flower that I like.
His name is Jiminy.
And then there's a couple of rocks out there.
Jiminy?
Yes.
Yes, that's a name that I've heard.
His name seems to come up so often.
It's Susan the Rock. Hubert.
Susan the Rock.
Hubert.
Yes.
Have you ever encountered something, a gate?
Call them Ayudhara on our plane.
Gate.
Yes.
Sort of a portal between worlds.
A portal between worlds.
No, I heard about them.
I heard about them.
Sound nice.
No, Kniepo could make them.
Never thought one myself. K heard about him. Sound nice. No, Kniepo could make him. I never thought one myself.
But when Kniepo took you on walks, perhaps he...
they took you to a specific place.
No, we never really ventured outside of the tree stump.
We just sort of stayed in here.
It's almost like they were showing off all their things that they made.
They were trying to make another one of them.
Really?
That's what all these machines were for, trying to do trying to make another one of them. Really? That's what all these machines were for,
trying to do experiments to make another one of them.
They were trying to make another kiddie?
Another?
Another Slim, yeah.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I think that's what they were planning to do
with one of you, or all of you.
But the way they welcomed you home there when they died
made it seem like they know something you doubt.
That's what I meant before.
Perhaps he was happy because they completed their mission
to have an heir.
Yeah, maybe us killing them did something.
That's not, that's bad.
I wonder if we can leave.
That's very bad.
We did use their machine.
They said welcome home? Yes, uh-huh the dying breath
It's very don't want to live here. Not with him. I don't want to live here either not with him
Ah, we shall endeavor to find a way out of here. No one who?
All is not lost yet. We have not begun the research necessary to know that we have no hope
Why did we use that machine that was so reckless. It was reckless.
Why didn't anybody stop us?
I don't think it had to do with the machine.
No?
No.
There is a library here.
Also, we all didn't use it.
There's a library here that we could perhaps spend some time.
Also, we can examine the shade with a key and we have many avenues.
And also Hubert here might have an idea for a way out.
Also, this circle on the floor.
A way away from here?
I am also just fond to hang out with.
That's what Susan the Rock always said.
Is that what she said?
Yep, that's what I heard at least.
Hubert, do you know what these runes are in the floor?
Runes, what's that mean?
You see these drawings?
Drawing.
Did Kniepoh ever do anything in this circle?
That circle there...
No, no, no.
They would try to do stuff there.
I never quite understood it.
Oh.
Not 100% sure.
Do we know what language this is?
If Kniepo didn't understand it, do we understand it?
Let's see...
It's not quite a language. And if it is, it's see.
It's not quite a language, and if it is, it's nothing that's discernible to any of you. They're just, uh, they're runes that might have meaning, but nothing any of you recognize.
Um, it looks like it's part of some sort of ritual.
Can I do an Arcana check?
Yeah.
Would decipher writing do anything?
You could try it, but like,
they just don't, they don't really key into any,
they don't remind you of any particular language.
Natural two.
Natural two.
12.
I'm not trained in arcana.
No.
Can we search the room?
Yeah.
You guys search the room.
Natural 20 on that one.
Hey!
The detective.
Got 18.
I'll use my magnifying glass.
The room is particularly bare.
There's really nothing in here of interest
with the exception of the shade wither key
around Kanepo's neck.
Everything else is very mundane.
Doesn't look like they ate,
or like needed food or water to live.
Anything going on with the throne?
No, very creepy.
There's a dead Gorgug, nothing on the Gorgug.
Okay, out of character.
We know, our understanding of the Shadewither Key
is that it is able to open Ayudara right
Is that think that's like our understanding of what it does all we know is that no idea
I thought that it was a key to his prison
Oh, that's what that was my impression, too
Oh, I thought it opened the portal like it was it allows him to travel between the two realms
I thought I just allowed him to get out of the stump.
I don't know.
I think my understanding was that it was,
we know it could be used in a ritual,
so it has more powers than that.
It was going to be used in the ritual that we interrupted.
Or no, that's not true.
It was going to be used in the ritual
that is going to bring about the end of the world
or so Lemma Feldthorne thought.
But yeah, can we examine the key?
Can I do an arcana check on it?
Or is it for sure?
What would it be?
In my notes from the painting,
it says the figure uses the leaf as a key
and passes through an arch.
To escape, when he escaped his prison.
Oh, okay.
But I mean, that was my understanding
that the reason they took the key
was because it allowed them to travel between worlds.
They originally found the key on the body of someone and used that key to enter the
material plane.
And then when they were trapped back in there, the elves took the key away from them.
So as far as you know, the key is used to pass between worlds.
Yeah, I do have it written in my notes.
When Bolon stole the Jade Amulet, the Shadewither
Key, it's a gate key, is what I wrote down. And then Bolon planned to use it in Evil Ritual.
And that was like our...
That's what I heard.
Yeah.
And the druids, the oak stewards had the key and maybe they didn't even know the depths
of this key. They used it as a key for the Ayudar. And then I think it was Lemma you
were talking to said like, oh, maybe the elders have used it but like no one I know has ever used it to
pass between gates and remember that the way that the the elves use these
Ayudhara from your knowledge it's like to warp around the world that's what
they really are they're warp gates. Like fast travel. Yeah fast travel. Alright I
want to roll can I roll on the key
to see if I, like it's, I understand how to activate it
or use it maybe.
A little arcana action, eh?
Yeah.
In the meantime, I'm gonna start treating wounds.
So who would like wounds treated?
Are you down at the lower points?
All right, I'll start working on Zephyr while
Talitha's in the diamond. I got a little scrape
on my knee. She'd with her key.
Maybe you could help with this knee scrape
Of course I'll get to you Huwud
Thank you so much
22 on the shade wither key
Anyone would like to aid?
I can aid
I don't have Arcana trained
I know that you don't need to
I mean it's a flat 10 for the 8, so I do aid.
Or I... don't?
You're not trained in Arcana.
You need to be trained.
I am.
Oh, you are?
Yeah.
It's a 15 total with my Arcana.
Oh.
15 total wouldn't give you a bonus rate of 20.
But, um, here's what you know.
You saw them touch it and activate these shadows around them, one of you will have
that ability as well.
Should you wear it, it's two actions to interact with the key and the effect is you touch the
shade with the key and command the shadows it casts around you to peel away.
The shadows form an umbral double that resembles you in every way except for its fiery red eyes
and the expression of wicked delight on its face.
The double occupies the same space as you
and attempts to intercept any attacks aimed at you.
A creature must succeed at a DC 11 flat check
when targeting you with an attack, spell, or other effect.
On a failure, they hit the shadowy double instead of you.
This effect lasts for one minute or until the double is hit, whichever comes
first. Once the double is hit it's destroyed. As long as the double exists
you don't gain the Shade Reader's key item bonus to stealth checks. So that's
another thing when you invest in this item you get a permanent plus one to
your stealth check. And Kniepo was able to trigger two of them?
Yeah, so Kniepo was able to do it with two. You imagine the time that they've spent with this key,
they were able to unlock other powers to be able to put two shards.
Shade with their key greater.
Shade with their key greater. But you also, with a 22, arcana check, you get the sense that this key
But you also, with a 22, Arcana check, you get the sense that this key can do more,
but you can't really ascertain what that more is.
There's more to this key than just
shadowy doubles and stealth checks.
Classic plot artifact.
So I love that, where it levels up with you.
I love that, that's cool.
It's like the sword in your Jade Regent campaign.
Exactly.
Shwishin. Shwishin. Shwish cool. It's like the sword in your jade region campaign exactly swish swish swish
Where the key all do it no
No, that's right noble of you. I thought maybe you were nervous about the very brave
View I don't know what it does, but shall we roll off on like key. I want it. I wanted to yeah, that's real
All right
Die natural 19 natural three natural
18
Just call me song bitch I called you song bitch. What did you get, Kate? Natural 19. Oh, great. 18.
You got an 18 too?
Yeah.
I'll take that.
Do you take it from Talitha's hands?
Yeah, like as you're dangling it being like,
who wants to take this?
I'd like to.
Zephyr's just like, no, I'm taking this one.
Zephyr, you grab. You're taking a lot of things.
You grab the key,
maybe you go to put it around your neck to wear it.
Yeah, she looks at it.
Careful. And she's about to put it on. Do it. maybe you go to put it around your neck to wear it. Yeah, she looks at it. Careful. And she's about to put it on. Do it. As you start to
put it around your neck and you tie the necklace on, you just hear like...
Is there a breeze in here? We don't know what kind of effect it could have on your elfish side
Careful, I'll be careful. How do you feel? I?
Mean, I feel fine sure. Yeah, do you hear anything strange?
How would you ask that I? Mean, I feel like I feel better than you you all went into the went into the tree. I didn't go into the tree
Key looks good on you. Oh boy Hope I have a key myself someday.
That would be nice.
Don't really know what a key is.
Right.
Is that the right word?
Well, once we're all healed up.
So I'm...
Are you cutting open, Buggles?
Poor Buggles.
Oh my!
No, I didn't hurt you.
But the first roll I healed five hit points of you
which is very tiny and then the second heal which was minimum success just hit
the DC and then rolled snake eyes so that's two points of healing okay we're
grinding that we're gonna be here for oh my god another minimum oh my god
another five points it's just just, it's miserable.
I'm just gonna do it over here for a while, and we'll spend a couple hours in this.
We talked to Hubert.
Let's go to the library.
Yeah, whoever's healed can go to the library. Fail.
We can do the healing in the library.
Great. Fail.
Come on, Hubert. And I hold Hubert and Buggles' hands.
Do you know what books are, Hubert?
Books? Sure!
Well, you tell me what books are. we'll see if we're on the same page
You you know what you do with a book of course yeah here we hand
Sutra that Buggles gave
I had him on the Karma Sutra that Buggles gave me. I hand him a pillow from the bed.
And I go, this is a book.
There it is, the old book.
You don't eat it.
No, no.
Of course not.
Gonna smell it.
Smells good, good, just like old books do.
All right.
I don't know what to do with this.
All right.
I take it back.
All right. No? it back. All right.
No.
No?
No.
You read it.
Ah, of course.
Foolish.
What does that entail?
We spend a couple years teaching a...
Yeah.
Time is so little meaning here.
We might as well.
We start with picture books, and then we move into like baby's first word. Books.
All right.
Look at that.
Learn something new.
I made five new friends.
Wait till Susan hears this.
The rock?
Yes.
Okay.
Now where is this again?
Where is Susan?
Outside.
Somewhere near my old tree hole.
Would you welcome to stay in here?
You can usually.
Maybe you can find your
own hole or something it's best not to be outside for too long lots of
creatures terrible creatures and the wind and whatnot might just want to stay
in here to be honest now that you've cleared the place out you could just
make a home here and we'll start a new family eventually some of us may fall
in love and procreate, does it work?
Well, Hubert...
Make some new people, we'll start a little society here in this tree.
Hubert, Hubert, please.
Yes, I'm getting ahead of myself, we just met.
I'm sorry if I am being short with you, I'm just rather exhausted.
Well...
I do think that we will stay here, at least until we are a little bit rested. Are you
planning to stay as well?
Or would you like to be on your way?
Ummm...
Anything is better than what's out there, to be honest.
As much as I miss Susan, and my whole...
I, uh, would, uh...
So anything is better than going home?
Anything's better than being alone, really.
I understand. I understand.
It is a very dangerous place.
Yeah. Oh, look at that!
Well, why don't you stay here with us?
And he nods towards Zephyr.
And Zephyr, you notice that the key,
now that it's on your neck,
the voices and that noise has stopped,
but it's like sort of floating off your chest
and like tugging you.
Whoa.
Oh, look at that.
Is it like trying to lead me somewhere?
If I try to follow it?
Look at that thing! Isn't that interesting?
Is that... floating?
Are we all healed up? We're not going anywhere and we're all healthy.
Did you heal me?
Um, no, no way.
But we'll just say I did.
Hahahaha!
Well let's just see if it even tries to take me out of the room.
I think we should follow it, but I want to make sure we're all healthy and I would like to not be wounded. Yes, I agree
It's not like pulling drastically. I'm at 22 on Buggles. Do you need more than 22? Oh, I'm that's I'm fine
Okay, great. So then quickly we'll do I
Just need your name
I just need four hit points. Oh eight. You're good. Okay, I'm done and you're good
And I'm good and to lead that just needs nine. Oh, then, you're good. Okay, I'm done. And you're good. I'm no longer wounded. And Talitha just needs nine.
Oh, then we're gonna get this, we got this.
10.
Beautiful.
Bam.
So, all told, it's about an hour and a half
that it takes to go through all that.
So talking in the library, whatever,
and then all of a sudden this key starts raising up
and acting a little funky.
Get your focus spells back if you realign.
How are you doing power wise spell wise things that
are like once a day three days I have one spell slot left in no heels yeah
that's why I was saying I'm utterly exhausted I need to rest yeah honestly I
haven't had a good night's sleep in a while I've been standing up so long I
tried to lay down in a cage was but it's very small, very small. It'd be nice to sleep in a bed or a floor.
I guess I could sleep on the floor, be fine with me.
I'm a bit concerned that whatever's going on with the key
is a temporary effect, or we might need to pursue this now.
I don't need to rest that bad.
I mean, I did get my Conflux spells back.
I'm good.
I'm going to...
Sorry, I can't take another step.
Okay. Okay.
Brother Ramus collapses.
He collapses onto the bed, onto the bed that's in the corner.
We build a litter and ask
Hubert to drag him behind us.
Not very strong.
I'll just get the gist of where it's going.
Alright. Where it seems to be.
I'll go with you.
It tugs you towards the doorway of
Kanepo's throne room. Let's follow. Let's go. Okay, so I go back into the throne room
All right, you go back from the throne room into the reproduction lab
Oh, it's bringing me out of the three you out of the room. Yeah
Into the reproductions lab and from there it's pulling you towards the vivisection chamber and when I say pulling it's just a gentle
tugging a A guidance. A compass almost. Okay so I can do you just letting it lead me? From the vivisection theater it directs you
towards the hallway that would lead either to the room of paintings or the
room where you fought the centaur. Ah, okay.
So if you walk into that hallway, it does in fact direct you to the south, to the room
with the centaur.
And it just, it's like, it just slowly, gently just tugs you in a new direction.
Just through the room still?
Yep.
So you're, you go through that hallway to the west and then down into the room with the centaur and once you are in the
room with the centaur it continues dragging you south right back to the
first room you walked in at. I don't know where Asta's going. I couldn't go the
other way for some reason it wouldn't let me through the door. Oh because you guys probably never opened that door.
Yeah, you have to go around all the way.
I'm taking the long way around.
Now that the door is open, you can go this way.
And yeah, it brings you right back to the room with the statue.
And you see this resplendent statue of Kanepa that you now look looks nothing
like the actual Kanepa. It's much more muscular and strong.
And then from there, the key tugs you to the exit.
And we'll be back right after this break.
So all of a sudden Mother's Day is here.
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And we're back.
I should show you a picture of old uber dentsch.
Oh yeah, we saw this last time.
I forgot about the loin cloth.
Picking my tooth with a feather,
loin cloth covers me book.
Still not sure what that word means. We will teach you.
He really is so stinking cute.
Hello!
You've heard him speak and you still say that.
I want to bring him home.
They've played with me for too long to enjoy me.
Hubert to me is an octopus Detroit, I think.
I'm like, this is perfect. This is what I want.
This is what I want in my house.
You can't have a hedgehog.
And I'm going to be in this campaign for one year before I die.
Uh oh.
You can have a hedgehog as a pet.
In real life?
Yeah.
I want it in the game though.
Is it more expensive or less expensive than an octopus?
I don't know. Maybe less.
We'll have to do more research.
Look at that! It's pulling you outside.
Dangerous out there, dangerous.
Might be able to help you a little bit, but.
Should probably wait, I think Brother Ramius
is still sleeping.
Oh, is that his name?
And I feel like.
He's your brother?
Uh-huh.
No.
No.
You just call him like, brother.
He's a member of a religious order.
I don't feel like defining all these words for you right now.
I think he knows what religion is.
He doesn't know what book was, so why would he know what priest is?
Brother.
You'll learn some of that book.
I had a brother once.
Yeah, dead.
That's nice.
What's his name?
What happened to your family?
Oh, my brother's, he was Harry, Harry Hedge.
What happened to all your family?
You mentioned they're all gone.
The world out there is pretty awful.
Lifespan is usually about four years tops.
How old are you?
I'm 17.
Gonna get me license soon.
License for what?
To operate every machine.
Your forklift license?
A jigger loader? Drive a back out.
Start a new life. Class C.
Have you got a license? Hubert? Yes?
Asta? I never told you my name. Oh, but you got there
with a name tag. Fuck. You're right. Should take this off. Honestly, I heard them
call you Asta. When your right. Should take this off. Honestly, I heard them call you, Asta.
When this, when your brother was trying to heal you.
Ah, of course.
Hubert, when we leave,
which we are going to do once Brother Ramius wakes up.
I'll recommend it, yeah.
We have to.
Okay.
Would you like to come with us?
I, I would love that. You're also welcome to live here in this house and it would love that.
You're also welcome to live here in this house
and it would be yours.
Yeah, no, this place does have a certain charm.
Could do some redecorating.
You could live here actually, Tilly,
that I think that's- You could be the lord of this manor.
I'm a bit torn, right?
Lord Hubert.
Any that does have a nice ring to it.
Earl Hedge.
Brother Hubert.
Brother Hubert.
Nice saying that one, correct?
Nice.
I just feel like I'm a bit torn, right?
Because out there, it's terrible,
but yet anything's better than being alone.
So even if we were to go out there
and get torn apart by a windstorm,
at least I would have perished with people around me.
But if you're not interested in staying here and starting a new life,
yeah, oh yeah, I'll go with you, sure.
Thank you for offering so long since I talked to anybody.
Well, you're free to go.
I mean, I'm getting mixed signals.
Not sure what you want.
I just want you to be aware that you can leave if you like.
Well, us to pull Buggles aside.
And I just want you to be aware that this is a house.
You can have it entirely for the school.
Listen, now I get that, I get that.
Invite anyone you wish to come live with you.
I know that we're not the biggest.
She turns her back to Hubert.
Yeah, we all turn away.
I know that we're not the biggest fan of the Hedgehog,
but he seems like he knows his way around the Thin Lands
and we don't and we're stuck here, right?
And Bugles, I have to ask, do you think maybe you're being a little jealous that a small,
adorable little guy is going to also hang out with us?
I'm the cute one.
I know, Bugles. I'm the cute one. I know.
You are the cute one. I could get a little hat.
Is that what you want?
You don't have to get a little hat.
You have a little hood.
You can get a filthy loincloth.
No.
Talking a stupid voice.
No, buckles.
No one wants that.
You are perfect.
I just don't want to see this
Absolutely dumb fuck hedgehog die. What's that?
What's up? It's almost over. Yes. I'm sorry. What's that? Can I just call me a dumb? He's clearly so
He's not capable Buggles. He's not powerful like you
Yes, he's gonna die. We think we think we think so fast guys So fast. What are you guys talking about? Now that you point these facts out, I do pity him.
Yeah.
Oh, all right.
All right.
Morally, we have to help him.
We've decided it's our moral obligation
to let you come with us.
I'll take it.
Great.
Brother Talitha.
And our first order of business
is sleeping in here. Brother Talitha. We'll see order of business is sleeping in here.
Brother Talitha.
We'll see, yes, yes, you look a little worse
for the way out there, it's gonna get hotter,
so maybe we rest in here, look at that thing,
and it's like glowing green now.
Oh, it's glowing now?
Yeah, it's glowing.
Does it seem to be pulling more intensely?
The tugging has got a little bit more intense,
and there was a faint glow at first
that has now become much larger. Yeah, no, rest would be smart and then we can go start our new lives
out there. I'm gonna miss Susan but maybe we'll run a foul of her. We'll see what
happens. Excited to be amongst my new brothers.
Let's rest. Yeah. Should we go back to Brother Ramius
or we rest right here by the front door?
Let's rest right here and let him think that we abandoned him.
Oh, that's funny.
That's a funny joke.
See, that's a good joke.
We replaced him with this hedgehog friend.
I like that joke.
Brother Ramius, you wake up alone.
In the dark.
Awful.
RuneRune.
I actually... Shit.
When we do rest, Buggles is going, he's going to try to either, like on his watch or whatever,
try to stealthily go over to Ramius and he's going to try, without waking him, to put the harmonica, slide it into his pocket.
Oh.
The harmonica that I took.
The maestro's thing?
Yeah.
Okay.
The one that he wanted, I slide it into his pocket.
So I imagine you guys go back towards the throne room.
There's several beds in this place, there's plenty of places to sleep.
I think it's worth.
And Buckles, you walk over and slide in his pocket.
You're not gonna have your real stealth because he's asleep. Very tired. Yeah. Utterly exhausted.
He abandoned the adventure rather than... And then you perform a coup de grace.
He slides the harmonic into his pocket and then slits his throat. Produces a halberd.
All right.
And Hubert snores loudly.
Harry!
Harry!
I'm pulling my hood down.
What's left of my ears?
Trying to sleep.
I knew the second you mentioned him in the cage,
two episodes, three episodes ago maybe,
two episodes ago, just setting up the scene
that this was gonna be a nightmare.
Ah!
He is growing on me though.
It is good to have a genizen of the realm.
I will say, he's entirely unhelpful and knows nothing.
Well, he doesn't know about books.
He might know something about the creatures we discover.
He did say that, the one creature we...
Anka?
Anka, aka?
Ankus.
Ankus.
Ankus.
Anku.
Ankus.
To be fair, this hasn't reached,
what was that guy, who's that guy in Strange Giants
that we met that was truly the worst?
Oh, right.
I forgot his name.
It was the Helium comic.
Yeah, that's right, it was on the tree.
He's come back.
The giant tree.
We met, when we met the hunter he loved,
or he was obsessed with.
Yeah, Nester Bendley.
Nester Bendley.
Nester Bendley. Nester Bendley. Oh! That was obsessed with. Yeah, Nestor Bindley. Nestor Bindley. Nestor Bindley.
Nestor Bindley.
Oh.
That was the worst.
There's a bit of Nestor, there's a bit of Tumsy here.
All right, do we wake up undisturbed?
You do wake up undisturbed.
And in fact, you wake up to the smell
of something being cooked.
And whoever's first to rise sees Hubert
just like messing with some of the ingredients
that were in the reproduction lab, you think.
It looks like there's some greens and whatnot.
He's like, oh, look at this,
I've made some breakfast, if you're interested.
Some of the stuff they had here in the lab is good stuff.
Just need to know how to cook it and whatnot.
So I made some breakfast if you're feeling a bit peckish.
Oh, Hubert, that is very kind.
Oh, lovely.
It's the least I can do.
What did you make?
Oh, this here, this is greens and this is reds.
Asta sniffs it.
What does it smell like?
It's a little pungent, but he eats it, no problem.
Pungent like a mushroom?
It really smells bad.
It smells like dirt.
It smells like dirt.
You know what, thanks.
I like to fast in the morning.
Oh, all right.
So.
Asta digs in, cans.
Fasting, yes.
Could be rough out there.
Might be better to go out on a full stomach.
But you do you.
I'm not offended either way.
I'm just gonna eat my greens and reds.
Muggles watches Asta carefully.
Yeah, we all stare at Asta.
What effect the food has on her.
You eat it, it tastes horrible.
But you don't feel.
Argh!
You don't feel any worse for the world.
He pulls out a string of green.
Jolita puts a little bit of the hot sauce
she carries with her on it.
It has like the texture.
She's one of those people.
It has the texture of seaweed,
but the taste of like a mound of dirt.
She turns quietly to the group.
Could have just gone with seaweed.
It tastes like dirt.
I've eaten a lot of dirt.
So, what do you think?
I think it's fantastic.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, Hubert.
Thank you, my brothers.
I was so hungry. I had to eat it.
Did you like the reds?
Yes, I had to eat it.
You can't have the greens without the reds.
That's exactly what I was thinking.
Put spikes on your chest
But you know
Guess I need some more reds
Hubert in our brief time here. We've is met no one
Friendly Oh or even than the slightest bit interested in helping us at all well They say you attract people to you based on the way that you project energy into the world.
So it could be, Brother Amias, that you have been projecting negativity into the world,
and that's why negative people have been attracted to you.
That is an interesting observation and very likely.
However, your time here outside of the stump, you said was very dangerous.
Did you have any allies beyond your immediate family?
Oh, there's Susan, of course.
She was a true rock in my life, as it were.
Susan sentient. Yes.
Yes.
I don't think he knows what that means.
Very, very sentient.
Asta whispers to Talitha.
He gives me big Montessori vibes.
Just like an upbringing that I don't understand.
You're so, so, so, so sentient.
Oh, oh, so the levels of sentience.
You're right, he doesn't know what sentience is.
He knows a lot about specific things.
But none about other things.
Yeah, important stuff.
And you think they'd know about it.
Beyond Susan, none.
No allies, no friends.
My father died when I was very young, and then my ma,
when I was a teenager,
and then Harry,
sort of lost Harry.
And then I met Susan, and...
What about,
what about these creatures that you did say were dangerous? And then I met Susan and not much yet.
What about these creatures that you did say were dangerous?
This Anko?
Anko?
Anko?
Yeah, they're everywhere.
Yeah.
Lots of terrible fey creatures.
Anko's are just one of them.
What is that?
Could you describe it?
They look like flying, skeletal, flaming, horrible things. Flying skeletal, flaming, horrible things.
Flying, skeletal, flaming, horrible things.
They're all over the first world.
You gotta watch out for them.
They would just tear you apart.
Do they affect your mind?
Do they simply pull your body apart?
I think they just tear at you.
They're hungry, you know.
Do they come in flocks or do you find them alone ever? I think they're mostly alone, but all it takes is one of them very large
They could kill all as large as me. I know much bigger than you
You know there like if it took all
Five of you and put you together and it would be like twice the size of that
I roll a check see if I recognize this creature for yeah and it would be like twice the size of that. Can I roll a check to see if I recognize this creature?
Yeah. This would be knowledge recall cult maybe?
Cultism? Yeah.
Natural four. 12.
Alright, shall we follow the track of the key?
Is the key still glowing?
Oh yeah, what's the key looking like?
Now that you're back in the throne room, less glowing, less tug, but still a tug and a faint glow.
So almost like warmer, warmer.
When you say the key is trying to lead you
out of this place.
It seems so.
If I quote unquote follow it,
it's getting stronger and glowing and then lifting more.
I feel we have to put our faith in it.
I'm gonna pursue, yes, I know I messed up on pursue a lead.
And that whole thing I was setting up for months and months. I didn't follow through on that.
However, I'm going to pursue a new lead and one of those leads is going to be the Shadeweather key.
Okay, so anything to do with the Shadeweather key, you'll get a bone.
Okay, so a good Shadeweather bone.
Shadeweather bone. Bum. Okay. So... A good shade with a bone.
A shade with a bone.
Yeah.
So can we go back to the exit and set out and follow the key?
Now keep in mind, the anchors are just one thing, so keep your eye on the skies.
Don't want those coming down.
Yes, yes.
But you've also got to look all around.
There's just terrible things out there.
Sometimes the air itself can be very stifling. Can you describe even one of these creatures in detail so that we may be better prepared
to defend ourselves should we come across one of these wild creatures?
There's these things we call gumboes, little gumboes, and they're about my size, but they
usually travel in packs of eight, nine, ten. And they can spit this green stuff at you.
And if you see that happen and don't breathe,
don't breathe, you don't want to breathe that in.
Make her feel real sick.
Poisonous.
I guess so.
But your gumbos, they're horrible.
And then there's millipods.
Millipods, real nasty.
Only about this big, right?
But if they bite you, you die.
So you gotta watch out for millipods.
Where do they live?
They live everywhere.
They're in the ground and all around you.
And then there's jack wanglers.
Don't forget the jack wanglers.
Did you name all of these?
No, it's nasty.
No, this is what Mama told me about.
The jack wanglers, they can both fly and go invisible.
So they're pretty nasty, and they like to choke you with their clawed hands.
And sometimes if they choke you for long enough time,
they'll dig their claws right in your neck
and you probably tend to die from that as well.
You know, this is why I live in a hole
and why this tree is going to be a real nice place.
Just throw that option out there.
If you don't want to venture out into the world,
we could just start a new society here in the trade be really fun. I
Think right we're gonna follow. Yeah, yeah
These are crazy like two of us will focus on following the key. There are some weird smoothies
like to lethal obviously cuz you're
doing the
What did you just say you were doing with the key pursuing a swing a lead with it?
And then like can we have some people focusing on like,
looking around us?
Yeah, I mean, Asta has her katana out,
and she is- Exploration mode activities.
Yeah, maybe I'm like, bringing up the rear, you know,
like walking backwards, forward.
Like one person at the sky.
Every so often.
I'm looking at the ground.
The ground, because I have a melee weapon.
Okay.
So you leave the confines of Kniepo's court. I'm looking at the ground because I have a melee weapon. Okay.
So you leave the confines of Kniepo's court.
You're back outside and you remember there was like all those thick trees and that owl creature. And that sort of owl monkey or whatever was pulling you into the branches.
or whatever was pulling you into the branches. You see that its corpse is still on the ground,
but it's like not fossilized,
but its remains look like way more time has passed
than has actually passed.
It's only been two days since that fight, maybe three.
And it looks like it's been dead for 10, 15 years.
Wow.
Whoa.
Oh boy.
Oh.
Look at this.
Don't like it out here.
It's nice to get some fresh air,
but what's your key there telling you to do?
She looks down at the key and lets it guide her.
Now that you're outside, it's gone fully horizontal.
It's just pulsating, this green glow,
pulling you back out.
If you follow the key,
you get back out onto that long pathway.
But now it's not a long straight path, it's windy.
Now, do you remember before it was windy
and then as you got on it,
it got straighter and straighter and straighter like it was pulling you
towards the tree. Now it's all windy again and the entire landscape, while
there are some things that are familiar to it, maybe you saw a mountain range
that collapsed and then a tree grew. You see that mountain range but everything
just looks different and the key is tugging you off in the direction of this dark
forest and the trees look like they're made out of coal no leaves but so thick
that it doesn't even look like there's a pathway that doesn't look like a good
place to go but if you listen in a key seems like that's where it's taken you I
mean this is our only chance out of here
that we know of.
No place, no way out, but sure, yeah.
We can certainly try.
I think we have to, and Asta just readies her katana
and keeps like kind of side stepping
while looking in the forest.
Every crack of every branch you know is just like.
Yes, let's keep our eyes open, shall we?
Follow the key.
Key, now pulling at your neck.
You were to pull it backwards,
it'd be like a line around your neck
where it's pulling you.
The green getting brighter and brighter
as you step into this horrible, otherworldly forest.
Trees are, you know, certainly nothing like
Kniepo's tree fortress, but they're so thick.
And even though there are no leaves atop,
all the branches form this canopy where it's darkness.
Do you want to try and do some magical light
to counteract this?
It's not dim light, it's darkness.
Darkness. Yeah. I can't see. So
is it it's it's just permanent nighttime? Yeah, permanent nighttime. Yeah, he will cast
an orb of light over Asta that sort of like ties itself to her, lashes itself to her, and will go wherever
she goes. And then he'll do the same on Zephyr and another bulb. It's to follow
her. Then another on Talitha and then the same on himself. So four different
globes of light all shedding in 20 feet bright 20 feet dim on each of the four of us
What it the effect it has in this world is that gives you 20 feet dim and then nothing and nothing beyond
But that's enough to at least see your way
While this thing is pulling you you can try and like
Navigate your body to its like if it's going like this and maybe like slightly going you can try and navigate your body to its...
Like if it's going like this and maybe slightly going this way, you can navigate your body,
but there's still no path.
You guys are passing through branches and having to slide through as the branches are
grasping at your skin.
Can I do a survival check?
Yeah.
The Ramius wants to look at the ground.
We're passing through and see if there's any sign of tracks or anyone else having passed
through this area. Yeah, what's your survival?
I'll give it a whirl. Plus eight.
Nothing.
Nothing. It seems like no one has passed. No one has ever been here before.
Even you know that can't be true.
Hubert pipes up. He's like, oh, I've never been in here.
Always was told not to go. Although you don't have to worry about the anchors
or any flying creatures in here.
It would be hard to attack from above, so that's good.
That's very good.
Just the Millipods and the Jack-o-Napes?
Yeah, Jack-ranglers.
Millipods, yep.
Then you hear like, kakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakak What is that? That's not good. I don't know. Let's keep moving. Keep moving.
We could always go back to the tree and you look.
You're not too far into the forest and you look and Kniepo's tree seems much farther
away than it was when you came in.
No going back, Hubert.
We must move forward.
All right.
You keep pressing forward, following this key as it tugs you through these branches.
And eventually you see the terrain and the area changes up ahead, opens up and looks
eerily familiar to all of you
You arrive at seven arches
the real
seven arches I
Mean at least it looks identical to what you remember
Whether it's some simulation or some sort of shadowy version of the real thing.
It's impossible to determine.
I mean, you certainly wasn't in a forest like this, but there it is.
It looks exactly like you remember it. And as you draw nearer to these arches, you are the first one to notice that the largest
arch starts to hum.
I thought these weren't functional.
Perhaps they are here.
With the key.
The key.
Is it still dark?
If we look back, are there still woods?
Yeah, still darkness behind you.
You've got that dim light around you.
Those of you with dark vision can see fine,
but you're seeing everything in black and white outside
of the dim light bulbs.
Yeah, but the coloring that we're seeing in the dim light,
is it that same muted coloring?
It's very muted, yeah.
Not so much the black and white that Buggles sees, but just like absence of color.
But it looks different than the Seven Arches where we were in terms of the coloring of
the landscape.
Right.
And also, just so we're clear, the real Seven Arches was where the unicorn, Bolon, that
was not the one in town. We're talking about in the woods.
Yeah, that's what you see here.
Oh, we see the real ones. on that was not the one in town. We're talking about in the woods. Yeah, that's what you see here.
Oh, we see the real ones.
The real ones.
You're not back at the town,
you're not back at the fake seven arches,
you're back at the real ones.
Where the ritual was taken.
It looks identical.
We step into the center, what happens?
You start to walk closer,
all of a sudden the arch begins to glow
with the same color that is coming off the key.
This like faint green glow that gets brighter and brighter
the closer you get to that arch
and the archway itself starts to crackle.
I think we can leave.
Yes, based on what Hewitt told us,
it would be advisable.
Hopefully this, well, I mean,
we've all been through Iodara.
Yeah.
Oh, I haven't.
This is new to me.
Yes. Last time we went, it did have a curious effect on all of us, just warning you. But can
we see through what you said it's static?
Talk about that later. You look and you don't see anything on the other side, but as you do
get closer, light begins to cascade down the archway
coalescing into an opaque shimmering jade green veil and it looks like
there's something beyond it but it's not like looking at a picture in a storybook
like it feels like there's a world beyond but this jade green veil obscures
what's beyond. I think whatever is on the other side is better than here.
I agree.
My concern is if all it took was to walk in here with the Shade Breeder key, it would
take us back to the Material Plane.
Kinepo didn't do it.
He also...
Maybe he wasn't worthy.
They weren't worthy.
They also implied that we were stuck here.
If they knew it was so simple, why would they say such a thing? They also implied that we were stuck here.
If they knew it was so simple, why would they say such a thing?
You've never been in here before? You've never encountered this space?
Yeah, never seen anything like it.
Never seen archways or anything like this, but I agree with your friend here.
Wherever that door goes, it's your friend here. Um, wherever that door goes,
is better than here.
But it may not be the Material Plane.
Just maybe somewhere else.
Maybe...
Anything is better than the Thin Lines.
Do we know that we can step through
ahead of the key?
All at once.
Should we try?
Ahead of the key...
Um, sure, Asta. Sure, Asta.
Yeah, Asta very...
Would you like to go?
Dain Talied puts her hand up to the gate while Zephyr is there with the key to see if it's tangible at this time.
Or if you need the key to like walk through it.
Yeah, you walk up to it.
And every step that Zephyr takes closer to it, it glows, it's
louder, the green gets brighter, it lights up the whole area around it, just washing
everything in this Oz-like green glow.
And you put your hand on it and it's almost as if it's tugging you towards it.
You have to forcibly pull away. And the archway is wide enough that all of
you could walk through semi-simultaneously.
Everyone, if we're going to do this, we should lash ourselves together.
Yeah.
Wizard of Oz style.
I'll hold the little guy.
He rips on the end with Buggles. He perches himself up straight thinking he's taller than Boggles.
Shall we do this?
Together.
Let us pass through.
Wait.
He turns.
Susan!
If you can hear me, I'll always love you.
One two three and through
You step through
And
Immediately upon passing through
Humid air just slaps you in the face like a hot towel.
You look around and surrounding you is just verdant jungle.
Oh, nothing. It's Castorvel.
I was wondering, I'm like, did we?
What?
Nothing like the shadowy thin lands
or the more temperate wildwood where Hasta is from.
The trees are huge sprawling affairs
and the air shivers with chittering insects
and hooting beasts.
As you step through, you look back
and see that you're standing beneath another archway. It's like an old stone archway. There's runes
emblazoned on it. The portal just winks out.
And I look at the key. Is it? Can I turn it back on?
Key just goes...
See you next week. Oh!
Check out another Could It Be?
Another planet?
Yeah, that would be so cool.
We went back to the material plane, all right.
There goes my backup character idea.
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