The Glass Cannon Podcast - Gatewalkers Episode 33 – Hungry Dart

Episode Date: May 3, 2024

The heroes pass through a Thinlands gateway resembling the gate at Sevenarches and find themselves transported to a bizarre jungle. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/4PJ7B__kjmw This episode was sponsored by Demiplane, Foundry VTT and Norse Foundry. Check out Demiplane's Pathfinder Nexus and character creation tools at https://bit.ly/GCNOfficialTools See why tabletop gamers everywhere have made the switch to Foundry Virtual Tabletop at https://foundryvtt.com/gcp Visit https://auraframes.com and use code "GCN" to get $30 off plus free shipping. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for hundreds of hours of exclusive shows and benefits, make your membership official and join Glass Cannon Nation today by becoming a subscriber at jointhenaish.com. Watch new episodes when they premiere every Thursday at 8PM ET on youtube.com/theglasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This ad for Fizz is only 25 seconds long, but we had to pay for 30. Those leftover 5 seconds shouldn't just disappear, right? It's kinda like what happens to your unused mobile data at the end of each month. Except at Fizz, your unused data from the end of the month rolls over, so you can use it the next month. Hey, you paid for it, so keep it. Try the other side. Get started at fizz.ca.

If you need some time to think it over. Here's five seconds. Certain conditions apply. Details at phys.ca. You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. We should wear the key. I'll take that. As you start to put it around your neck, you just hear... Is there a breeze in here? There is also a sentient hedgehog in a cage.

What's your name, friend? Hey, More Life, it's you but Edge! Do you know anything about getting out of the Thin Man's? That's a difficult thing. There really is no way out. It's best not to be outside for too long. Lots of creatures, terrible creatures. You are well and truly spiked

if you're hoping to get out of here. Zephyr, you notice that the key now that's on your neck, that's like sort of floating off your chest and like tugging you. Whoa. She looks down at the key and lets it guide her? I feel we have to put our faith in it. So you leave the confines of Kniepo's court.

You arrive at seven arches. I mean, at least it looks identical to what you remember. I mean, you certainly weren't in a forest like this. And as you draw near the largest arch, starts to hum, and the archway itself starts to crackle. I think we can leave. One, two, three. And through.

Upon passing through, humid air just slaps you in the face like a hot towel. Surrounding you is just verdant jungle. The portal just... ...wakes up. The adventure continues... ...now. Adventure continues... now. Folks, welcome back to the Glass Cannon Podcast. Nothing we will say in the next 10 minutes will be as funny as the last 10 minutes. Oh, man.

It's a real shame we weren't recording. How come we weren't recording? It was all over the place, too. It really was. It went from karaoke tunes to pretending to be a dead body to... Bruce Springsteen. Bruce. Lot of Bruce. Lot of Bruce. And we kind of blew our wad.

I have no, there's no way... It could be funnier. There was also a truly, like, one for the books comment from Sidney. It was, I guess we could start there. And no one will ever know what it was. It's a little rehashing. Do you want to recreate it?

It's a little rehashing. Should we do it? We were talking about? It's worth it. We shouldn't recreate it. We should talk about it. We should do a commentary on it. It's a little rehashing. Should we do it? We were talking about? It's worth it. We shouldn't recreate it. We should talk about it. We should do a commentary on it.

Yeah, like director's cut commentary on what happened. So it got around, you were like, we were talking about our go-to karaoke songs. Kate kicked it off with a great kickoff of asking, of saying. Well, I was like, everyone's gotta have a go-to karaoke song. And if you don't, I don't want to hang out with you. Cause if you don't, you don't think ahead.

You don't know how to like play to the crowd. I don't wanna hang out with you. Because if you don't, you don't think ahead, you don't know how to play to the crowd. I don't wanna hang out, you're gonna sing something that's not gonna go with the vibe, whatever. Very opinionated. And that kicked it off. And then Matthew was like, oh, my go-to is, and it came upon. It was Joy of the World by Three Dog Night.

And Thunder Road by Bruce Springsteen. To which Sydney replies, and correct me if I'm wrong. Quote. Take me home, Thunder Road. Bruce Springsteen. To which Sydney replies, and correct me if I'm wrong. Quote. Take me home, Thunder Road. I was half listening. I was preparing for. This is revisionist history. I was preparing for my job.

And I was studying my notes. And I had one headphone in, one headphone out. Oh, wow, it keeps getting more. And it's a solar eclipse. From my peripheral I heard what I thought was country road. Here's what happened in real time. This is why the commentary doesn't work. In real time. Matthew said. We're not rashamoning this anecdote. Matthew, I'll tell the truth. You have to agree on what actually happened. Matthew said, thunder rode. And I turned.

Seconds length. Millisecond length. It's not even a second length. I didn't say thunder by Bruce Springsteen. I just said thunder. You said thunder rode. And I turned and I said, take me home. And then immediately everyone turned on me like dogs.

And they were like, what an idiot. They all started pointing and throwing things and spitting. And then they started playing Bruce Springsteen. It was more spitting than I was expecting. That was the most upsetting part. Not the spitting. But when I played the song for Sydney and she, her heart wasn't ready.

She was angry that we're making fun of her. So she took it out on Bruce Springsteen, which you took as you would. What did you say the song is like? I think I said the song is used for torture when a sociopath locks you in a room and plays it on repeat. And then I also. She even killed the Madame.

You see when the dead bodies came around. And I feel bad and I said, so what? New Jersey has a highway rest stop named after him. Who cares? And I take that one back. That one was to hurt you, Matthew. And I'm sorry. And it did.

At a certain point she was like, is it the refrain yet? And Matthew just turned it off and was like, I don't think you're ready. It's kids like, no, no, let her make fun of the refrain with her own. Nobody wants to mix that up. The funny part was where you were like, where's the run song?

Where's the song where he runs? The running song. That's born to run. You mean born to running? And she's like, that song is good. And what I hear in my head is, they sound exactly the same. It's Bruce Springsteen. And then I just started making up a Bruce Springsteen song about what I'm going to do after the recording. And Joe was like, that sounds exactly like that. Well, because you were singing Born to Run with different lyrics.

I was just like, gonna leave this recording, go get a bottle of wine. It was the same joke for three minutes, and I laughed for a minute. I'll drink some wine while I sit at home. I gave my kids a bath, I'm gonna drink that wine. And the whole time, like, why is CJ not recording? We didn't do Slate scene.

It was good stuff. It then took a turn. What was the dark turn? I don't remember. Well then we did our slates and we always get 30 seconds of room tone. Right. We all be quiet for 30 seconds. Oh. And a bunch of you hold your breath during that. Not I.

Which is crazy. You go like, it twiggles like this. We're just scared of making a noise, like driving past a cemetery. Yeah. Well that makes sense. I making a noise. It's like driving past a cemetery. Yeah. Well, that makes sense. I just breathe normally. Everybody has to be so loud during the quiet time.

It's insane. You could just do this. I'm just more aware of my breathing during that time when we're all silent. I usually pick someone to talk to. Am I breathing too loud? Usually Sydney or Joe. Kate tries to make other people laugh and ruin the quiet.

And for reasons that maybe Byzantine at this point, we then got into discussion of how you play a dead body when you're acting. Right, like when you hold your breath. You don't want to, you don't, every time somebody's a dead body and up close, like law and order or something, I do this. I don't know if everybody does this, but I'm like, they're breathing.

Yeah, you try to get them. Boom, right there. Well, they cut away right before they need a breath. like, they're breathing. Yeah. You try to get them. Boom, right there. Well, they cut away right before they need a breath. They do, they do. But there's a way to do it. I don't think that guy's actually dead. Yep. I stand up.

I think they need to reinvestigate this murder because this guy, check him again. He's faking it, he's faking it. Yeah, the coroner's a real hack. I wanna see the director that is ready to really take things to the next level and use real dead bodies or kill the actor. And then like that verisimilitude I think will take cinema to the next level.

It'll be a new era of cinema. That'll win you the Oscar. Yeah, yeah. Posthumously. Yeah, you could win best actor, but you'd have to get it posthumously. Or as I once said to a client on the phone, posthumously. Because I didn't know how it was pronounced. But yet you used that word. I would never use that word out of fear that I was pronounced.

I thought that I was pronouncing it right. This was many years ago. You know, posthumously. Yeah, and he was like, I think it's posthumously. You said posthumously and I didn't know what you meant. I think posthumously in my head. I was like, yeah, posthumously. It's like biopic.

For me, that's Archipelago. I'd read it for many years in special. Archipelago. It's an Archipelago. My brain goes Archipelago. I went to high school on Archipelago. Good guy. That's good.

Biopic. I still want to say biopic, and I think everyone else is mispronouncing it. There was the one I said in A&A, which was prescience, and I said pre-science. Pre-science. On air, which, yeah. She blinded me with pre-science.

Thought I knew that. She blinded me with pre-science. I was so confident, thought I knew that one. That's right. Classic, classic, A&A, I'll pick it up. Yeah, it's always best to just not speak if you don't know what you're gonna say. Yeah Well, this just shows you like we have to just let the cameras roll and see what happens because they should be on all

The time because then everyone's gonna think I'm stupid more often than they already do Like, we have to just let the cameras roll and see what happens. Which they should be on all the time. No, because then everyone's going to think I'm stupid more often than they already do. I don't think that's possible. Look at a lot of your content. Look at her face! This is the second mean thing that you've said. Before we started airing, we were like, OK.

No, no, no. Come on. That's not possible. What did you say? What did we say? You were like, OK, we need to pretend that we're all friends with Sydney right now. Oh yeah.

Before we start rolling. We gotta act like we're friends with Sydney. Yeah. Yeah, let's play pretend. Let's play pretend. So mean. We have a lot of fun. We giggle, we like to giggle.

You know, one of my original concepts for this show was that I was going to just let the cameras roll beforehand, both audio and visual, but then just use the audio during opening credits. And then the show starts when the stars. So for episode one of this series that I've had that all recorded and just decided not to do it. But CJ and Francis were like, I told them, don't let anybody know, but start recording 10 minutes

before we record. Oh my God. And it's great. That first episode, as we're bullshitting beforehand, I was going to have that. Were we talking? Kind of like a Woody Allen movie. Like it's black and white credits,

and you just hear us talking. Or a Dockers commercial. Yeah, or a Dockers commercial. Or a Dockers commercial. What were we talking about? I can't remember. We were just goofing off. We were like, are we ready?

I can't breathe. You know, we were doing little bits like that, just shitting on each other. And it was funny stuff. Just shitting on each other. But then I was like, I don't want to do this forever. So we didn't. Anyways, from now on, we should probably.

CJ and Francis, I feel betrayed. Yeah. We can't sit with us at lunch anymore. They signed an oath. They signed an oath. Did you sign an oath? Did you sign an oath? Anyways, we're going to play some Pathfinder and we are going to record all of it.

Every year about this time, Naish, right at this time, I start getting anxiety about Mother's Day. It drives me crazy because I want to get my mom and my wife the greatest gifts imaginable to even try to show how deeply I appreciate everything they have done and continue to do for me. As you know, I'm not very creative and so I feel like I fall short. Well, this year I have been absolutely saved by Aura frames. Aura sponsored the GCP and so I went and dove into this incredible product and I'm honestly blown away.

Over the years, I'll be honest, I have been a little wishy washy on digital photo frames. It's not really my thing. And then Aura frames truly pushed it over the edge to a point where I am counting down the days until I can give my mom this gift. I am so excited. So I synced the Aura frame I got for my mom with the app on the phone and it's on my wife's phone as well. When we give my mom the frame, it'll already be loaded with like 50 or 60 top-notch pictures

of her grandkids from the last year or so. And then because it's connected through the app, all through this summer, we can just update the collections from our phone in Jersey, and my mom's Aura frame will automatically cycle in these new pictures as it sits on her end table in Philly. I've been practicing with one in my house and it is not surprising to me at all that Aura was named the number one digital frame by Wirecutter, the strategist and Wired. It took my wife and I two minutes to set it up and the detail on it is so high res, it

looks like a print. Right now, Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day. Listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $30 off plus free shipping on their best-selling frame. That's A-U-R-A frames.com. Use code GCN at checkout to save. Terms and conditions apply.

Use code GCN at checkout to save. Terms and conditions apply. Folks, we're back. We just came back from Austin in Kansas City last week. It's a great time, I think. I don't know. This is all happening beforehand. But please make sure you join us the rest of the year on tour. It is so much fun if you've never seen this live or if you're new to us It doesn't matter if you know the story or not We have so much fun and we also have a lot of fun with our amazing sponsors for this show Yeah, Joe who are those sponsors? We got Demi playing Troy for all your character generation needs. Oh, that's nice Let's do that for everyone. I twisted that around. We have of course foundry VTT amazing beautiful maps and for all your Of course, Foundry VTT, amazing, beautiful maps, and sound. For all your virtual tabletop needs, obviously.

Yeah, I mean, don't forget the sounds, too. The sounds are great. I've used them in this show. Usually we're only using licensed stuff, but their stuff is so good that you can just use it in other production stuff. So it was great. And of course, Norse Foundry.

Skid for all your random number generating needs. Generating, can I take that again? One more time, one more time, one more time. No, I'm too nervous. I see Joe with a cue card. All right, it's probably for the best. You know what's so cool about Foundry is that, I'm talking about Foundry VTT,

the maps for Gatewalkers, because they have this exclusive pack, they're all redone. These are not the like in the book maps. They're the Foundry-ized version that the community has made with this pack and they're just astounding. Oh, you're about to see them really take flight. When this is all said and done, just like we did with Giant Slayer, you should buy the books and see the difference. You know what's really immersive about the Foundry VTT,

at least in the stump that I noticed? What's that? You can't not walk through a door. That's true. You have to always walk through a door. Yeah. That's true in real life as well. Yeah, and it keeps you, reminds you like,

I gotta go this way. Yeah. I can't just magically teleport over here. I can. I can. You can. But yeah, we have our limits. Well, you're out of the stump and you are into the jungle.

Apparently. We're going to die. Are we? Where are we? Where are we? When are we? Last week, you were just finishing up the brutal fight with Kniepo the Slim. And things take a weird turn when you meet a little hedgehog named Hubert Hedge who was captured

by Kniepoh after aimlessly wandering into the stump. You find out from Hubert, Hubert is a native of the first world and that the thin lands are a horrible place and he has no friends except a rock named Susan. It's really, really sad. His entire family has died and he just thinks it would be best for you to just stay and live in the tree forever. We'll start a new society. He intimated that there would be some sexual relations and wasn't quite sure if it was

between him and one of you or if he was encouraging all of you to have sex. But at the end of the day, you decided we need to get out of here. You take off of the body of Kniepo the the Slim the Shadewither key, this key that thousands of years ago they found on the body of someone who maybe got into the first world or snuck into the first world, found that, used that to enter the material plane. Then when Kniepoh was trapped back in this stump by the elves so long ago, they took that key back, yada, yada, yada. Eventually it gets in the hands of the Oak Stewards.

Then when Kniepoh finds Bolon, uses Bolon to steal that key back, you take that key off of Kniepoh. First full team roll off of Gatewalkers, Zephyr wins it. Zephyr puts it on. As she does so, she hears voices, ah-rah-rah-rah-rah-rah-rah, like the others from Lost. And the key starts levitating and drawing you

all throughout the stump to the exit, glowing intensively more green as it does so. It's leading you somewhere. So when you finally decide to leave the stump, you follow this key as it tugs and pulls you into this dark basalt forest You walk in brother Ramias pops up some light It does what it can to at least bring things up to a dim light and eventually you reach a clearing It looks identical

to seven arches identical to seven arches, the real seven arches. Identical, except it wasn't in the middle of this black forest, it was in the wildwood, but the sight of the arches itself looks identical. And as you draw nearer to it, as Zephyr draws nearer to it, the key gets more intensively pulled, glows more green, and then the largest arch crackles and hums with electricity and grows green as well. You all grab hands, step through and find yourself in the middle of a hot, humid jungle. The portal winks out and that is where we pick up today

Let's go to foundry VTT Listen what was that sound what I think we're on Castrovel why because I played the first book of Starfinder and this looks familiar. Oh, so you're cheating book of Starfinder and this looks familiar. Oh, so you're cheating. What? How is he cheating? I feel like this looks like the map, one of the maps. I will say, as soon as this session...

You think they stole a map from Dead Sons? No, I think we're on Casheville. The map budget was low for GateWalk. As soon as we finished last week's session, we immediately, I turned to Skid and I was like, Casheville is like the, like where the elves are from. He was like, yeah, yeah. I'm like, man, I was thinking Moangi expanse. When you said hot and humid in a jungle,

because I mean, these are like the two places I know of that are hot and humid. But I agree with Skid, because you said, it makes more sense for this AP that it would be Castroville. But I agree with you now too. Because of my reaction. Because of your excited reaction. I must be right. I think your reaction is unwarranted. Oh, you want to come over here and say that? Stand up. Who's going to stand up first? I'm not afraid. Where do you think we are, Joe?

All I'm saying is the only evidence you have is a basic jungle map. And you're like, this must be the planet Castrava. It seems like a big leap. For audio listeners. The map that we played on five years ago, I'm pretty sure this is the same map. Completely different game. For audio listeners, I will say the map is like ferns. I know. I don't know.

Found it. I got so excited. There's a lot of ferns on the map. Well, let's look at the sky. Can we look at the sky and see if there are clues up there? It's a beautiful blue sky. It's daytime. You went from perpetual night to daytime.

Can I do a perception to look at the fauna, perhaps, and see if anything looks familiar or perhaps alien? Yeah I want to do nature. Sure all right well you know let's do this I'm going to roll these checks for you guys to try and get a sense of what you may or may not know. I will say without you even rolling the floor around the archway doesn't resemble any plants you saw either in seven arches or the thin lands. It's different. They're in a different place. The ecosystem. There are these very thick green vines that are climbing the arch, occasionally punctuated by these crimson flowers with bright blue stamens. Those look interesting, but to try

and get a sense of where you are, tell me if you want to do survival or, you know, just kind of sense direction or nature we're calling our knowledge. So I prepared something specifically for when we were leaving. I thought we were going to be adventuring around the Thinlands for a while. So I prepared the know the way cantrip, which is a cantrip that allows you to always know north if there is a north if there is an existing north so I think that brother Ramias could at least cast that to orient himself this is previously known direction assuming what's that this is pre-separecy no direction writer no

direction yeah I believe that's what it was. Yeah. Know the way. So it has a couple of different layers. You can also choose a location that you were at within the last 24 hours and know exactly what direction that's in. So, but going through a portal, I think would foul that up. However, like in order to like get back to where we were. But like, for example, I would feel confident leaving this place, like how to get back to these gates if we got lost in the jungle.

For sure. Yeah. So it's a cool little spell, but it does act like a basic compass as well. Do you want to cast that? I want to cast it to see if there is a magnetic north, you know, that is registering in this place. You know, assuming that we are on Galarian and that we're in a jungle of Galarian, I'm curious to orient myself. Yeah, okay. So I'll say you cast that and you know that you're not where you were.

So that like within a week or what is it? 24 hours. 24 hours since you're definitely in a new place and you sense North coming from a direction where if you look a little further up ahead, there's like a cliff's edge that May give some sort of panoramic view of the area. It's a little ways away. Yeah where you are right now Okay, so he'll cast that and just explain what he's doing briefly and then This way is is north. Yeah, I think it ends in a cliff How do you know that?

Oh, right. I'm here, too! Oh, wonderful. What is that you just did there? We were calling gnarledge. Gnarledge? You wouldn't gnar anything about it. Gnar, you'd die.

You'd just stuff them with your hands and then you knew where North is. How'd you do that? It's a blessing of the Keeper. He guides our way and allowed me to know which way at least we could find the north, the pole of this planet. This is Galarian. It is the material plane. Oh yes, welcome. You're here.

You're on the material plane. At least I think it's Galarian. I've never been outside of the First World. It's nice here. It's a little hot. It's a little warm. A little warm for my spikes. Might have to shave them.

I don't think you should do that, actually. No? I don't think you're supposed to. Alright. I guess I'll just stay the way I am. Maybe I'll just take off my loincloth and let it all... No! Let it all breathe! Okay.

You were hard under there, weren't you? Ramus? Brother Ramus? Uh, let's walk to the cliff's edge because if there's a water source... Nature check? Oh. Yes. Uh, alright, so who wants to do nature and who wants to do survival?

If any. I'll do survival. Alright, so we'll start, we'll go around the horn here. What is your survival, Joe? Plus eight. Plus eight. What is your nature? Plus five. Uh, what is your survival Joe? Plus eight. Plus eight. What is your nature? Plus five.

What is your nature? Four. Asta, nature? Zero. Skid? I don't have anything. Okay. Uh oh.

You ascertain, Talitha, from the ambient climate, hot, humid, and the nature of nearby plants and animals, fruit-laden palm trees, see colorful amphibians scared away running into the brush as you emerge, that you are in a tropical jungle and not likely one anywhere near Avastan. Okay. Okay. So you are, you would feel pretty comfortable that you are on a different continent. But on Galarian, we're on the same planet. As far as you know. I recognize the flora as stuff I've read about in books and. Yeah, I mean, you don't really recognize it. You just feel like you know that there's nothing from where you've been in the world that looks like this.

I have a theory of where we are now. I changed my mind. Where? I think we're on. Because Troy may have tipped his hand. He said where or when. He didn't know where or when you are. Right.

I was just using it. Like a primordial landscape. Or for an aslant. Oh, it could be. I don't know what that is. What is it? What do you mean? Is that the lost city, like how Atlantis is?

I didn't think that was particularly tropical. Anyway, we'll see if you're right. Or Voodra. It could be like Voodra. Could be, but that's different than tropical, isn't it? No, there's like tropical. It's like tropical. Where Voodrani people are from?

Yeah. Is it tropical? Or Jiangxia. Yeah. Well, I think it's interesting to have this conversation in character. Trying to figure out like, we've heard of places like this.

I've read of the jungles of, of Gurundi, of the Gurund. Perhaps that's where we have landed. Possibly where the Malangi expands. Ooh. Ooh. Oh. Big old bug comes off his neck. Enjoy your malaria. What is that?

Brother Ramius, like you said, Talitha, wherever we might be, perhaps we can get a better view from this cliffside. And if there's a body of water, that's always a telltale sign for civilization. Better view, yes. Let's go and look from there. It's a ways away from where you are.

You can walk there, but if you want to take in this scene for a second. Survival here, eye roll, looking for signs of tracks or anything like that around. Didn't notice anything. Well, I'm going to get to that. Basically, I want to give you a little bit more about the arch here. It looks nothing like the arch that you walk through, nor nothing like the seven arches or even the fake seven arches. It's just one single arch standing alone on a plinth. Its shape is different and its stone is cracked and worn. At the arch's feet lies the

ruins of some building that has long since collapsed. It's large gray blocks and obelisks carved with strange symbols and wrapped in the same vines that crawl about the arch. Very strange strangling vines, strange symbols, symbols that you saw Zephyr and company as you walked out of the arch. They're emblazoned on the arch as well. Perhaps these ruins were a part of the arch. It's unclear. You can do a little more looking at that if you'd like examining more of the flora. But in terms of your survival, you, Brother Ramius, see deep gouges in the stones of the ruins, as well as like a mound of bone-riddled scat, the size of like a treasure chest up ahead that suggests to you that a large predatory

animal lives nearby. Who's good at arcana? What's your arcana? Plus 10. It seems like a dragon. What? What? I'm sorry, is this book one?

The markings in the stone look like dragon claws. The shit bone treasure chest, it's dragon scab. Well it could be a dinosaur as well. Yeah, it's true. Speaking. Castroville. Yeah. You would know either way, this is not a place

you wanna linger for too long. I wanna take one minute to just examine the runes and the plant, like, and do I recognize the language? Even if I don't speak it, do I know, like, I can, I understand, like, do I understand, oh, this looks somewhat like a Cyrillic language or, you know, something like that, even if I can't speak it, do I know like I can I understand. Do I understand? Oh, this looks Somewhat like a Cyrillic language or you know, something like that. Even if I can speak the language Uh, what language does everyone speak? It's good. It's a good time to talk about this or speak or read Um, I think I just speak common. I don't I only have plus one in intelligence

Yeah common in kitsune common in kitsune I speak Trying trying to remember. Bugalarian? Yeah. Do you even speak goblin, I wonder? I can't remember. I think I might not because I think I go kind of back and forth on this because like he would not have learned it growing up in the household where he grew up.

Jared S You also speak Elven. You do. Yes. So, Letha speaks common, draconic, dwarven, elven, and joten. And just common and draconic. Okay. Well, Zephyr and Letha noticed that the runes emblazoned on both the building and the archway in particular are elven in nature, but it's like a different dialect. It's nothing that like you can't read what it actually says, but you do feel pretty confident that it does relate to the fact that this is an iodar, an actual iodar.

Yeah, that's all you really know because it's like a different, it's just a different dialect of Elven than either of you know. For the record, Buggles speaks common Elven, Goblin, and Halfling. Wow. So you would know this as well. I share the knowledge of this, whatever did this to this building, it appears to be a work of a dragon or a similar creature It looks like it's just like time has happened, but then also a dragon moves nearby These markings here and brother amy also run his hand over one of the gouges in the stone. It seems like a claw

dragon claws in this stone. It seems like a claw. Dragon claws. Should scat. Is it recent? Are the claw marks recent? Brother Ramius? The scat is at the very least. We shouldn't stay out here exposed too long. Great. We should move. Perhaps this is a nest. Let's get in. Let's get underneath at least some of the foliage here and make our way to the cliff. As Asta said. And we'll start moving to the north toward that cliff to get a better view of the surrounding area, but also to try to get to some cover. Yeah, get to some cover.

All right. So sensing possible danger here noticing that fresh shit. You make your way north. It's thick. There's no pathway that leads to the cliff, but you do see through the branches that there's an opening offering a more wide view of the area. So you fight your way through the little bugs, little things skittering about, and you make it to this cliff's edge. And from this vantage, this this high overlook you see a rolling blue green sea stretching westward. Beyond that two points of interest really catch your eye. One is a jagged mountain range sort of thrusting toward the sky like

teeth, gray walls steep and foreboding many many many miles away from where you are. But the outlines of pyramidal structures can be seen on one of the ranges lower slopes. Second, a pair of brilliant purple perhaps ropes connect a nearby hill to the pyramids in the distant mountains, like lines drawn through the air guide your eye. And you see tiny dots, like these little vessels of some sort

traveling back and forth along these two lines, one going up, one going down. Like a funicular? Almost like a gondola. That's cool. And it just forms a steady circuit hundreds of feet above the jungle canopy below, just going back and forth between the pyramids and this hill. And this is across the water?

This is like across the water, yeah. Like how far can we tell, like how many miles? Few days journey. Because you can get, you see as you're like taking the scope of the area, you see a pathway that leads down from the cliff to the floor below in a way that winds through the jungle to lead there, kind of skirts around the area. So you can go like along the coast? there, kind of skirts around the area. You can go along the coast.

Yeah, you can go along the coast. But the coast isn't like Aran. It's thick. You're going to have to go through the jungle, basically, if that isn't the area you'd like to go. As you take in the rest of the surroundings, nothing else seems to have any sort of hint of civilization besides us. I think we know our destination.

Yes. If this is indeed a culture of people that could help us get back in touch with Dr. Riddleson, we have to try to find a way. Get back home. Yes. What makes you think there are settlements over there? I don't know. What's that from?

I don't know. No, I don't know. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe He was funny. Buggle slaps Brother Ramus. Tell me. You know, when a bee boops. Never mind, let's just go. Are you gonna answer it? I'm so confused. I'm confused. Why did you... you laughed. Yes, I know. What's the joke? I just gave you another hint. You're making bee boops. I don't know the answer. I don't either, but I'm loving this. I would like to know what makes you think there's settlements over there.

The thing that we saw. The thing. Don't get technical with me. Oh my god. Oh god. It's too rocky this way. The thing that we saw the thing don't get technical with me Let me give me a perception check yeah, yeah roll and dice roll and dice nope nope 20 for Buggles 20 for Buggles nope 13 12 foruggles? Nope. 13. 12 for Brother Hubert. 8. 13 for Talitha as well. Unless it has to do with the shape of their ki. In which case it's a 14.

Buggles and Hubert, notice something that the rest of you don't. Perhaps their eyesight is better. Despite their tiny frame, you see these little gondola like things going up and down, and they appear to be carrying cargo from the hill to the pyramids. And the ones coming back from the pyramids are empty. So it's like something is coming from the hills to the pyramids, and then returning back empty. And we can access the hill, right? Not the pyramids or if we go through jungle, we can get to the hill, not the pyramids? Um, no, I think you could get, it looks like you can get to the pier.

It looks like you want to get to the pyramids because the pyramids on the mountainside look to be only the largest structures of a more substantial settlement. Like it's like all part of one settlement, but it looks like the pyramids are the destination. They're about 40 miles away. So I think a couple days. But how close is the hill that's on our side right now? The hill where stuff is being sent to is about five miles away. Oh, so I misspoke.

You can get to the hill within a day, but you've got to still go through the jungle, so it's going to be a little tricky. but you seems like the hill is the first place you could go and then the pyramids are part of a more substantial settlement you could get to afterwards I mean I wonder if we could even take the gondola the gondola yeah stuff like I wonder if it's like a mining colony or something there's stuff like going in towards the settlement, but not coming. Yeah, yes perhaps Interesting those guys. I'm not afraid of heights, but when I'm in a gondola I don't know it activates something me where I feel like that thing is definitely afraid of a medieval gondola me, too

Well that goes across a huge giant like Extraterrestrial jungle I'd be pretty scared. Full of dragons. Full of dragons with shit everywhere. Alright, let's go through the jungle toward the hill. Great, yeah it makes sense. You've only briefly explored this area and the jungle is super dense and forbidding to try to get directly to the pyramids would take multiple days, but you know, if everything goes according to plan you could get to the hill maybe within a day or two. So you start trekking through bushwhacking

your way through the jungle. There's no trails. There's trails they're just not like well kept they don't look like they've been trodden in a while. Boy this is this is thick jungle. They don't look like they've been trodden in a while. Boy, this is, this is thick jungle. Oh, I never, my mother would tell me stories about jungles, but I've never seen one. Didn't think they were real. What was a fantasy thing? Jungles.

Even the word is silly. It's so funny that your mom told you stories and you don't know what books are. Yes, well, she didn't read them. She just knew them. Yeah, word of mouth. Oratory culture come from. You know, Hubert, I've actually never been in a jungle either. Get right out of town!

I grew up in a forest. Neither have I. Similar to your forest, but not horrible. Brother Asta, look at us us just a couple of jungle newbies Mm-hmm Buggles have you been in a jungle? I've been in a jungle Yeah Was it like this one was it this one? No, it was not this one He's

Can we go He's Can we go Cross of course boy All right, then you lead the way are we still holding hands? No, you can let go. All right Don't don't lose me in the tickets. We start walking very very very fast We throw him off the cliff. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Brother Amius is going to, within the first moments, he's going to look around the foliage, you know, from right where we start to see if he can find like a fallen stick or something like that from a tree that uses a walking stick. Just to try to support himself and all his books as he starts to get exhausted.

Yeah, so you're looking along and finally you do see like this gnarly old piece of brown wood. Yeah. You can kind of break a piece of it off and make a good walking stick. He's gonna take that and start making his way through the jungle. Maybe Asta helps you like bushwax with her katana in front of you, just like clearing some, you know, hard brush. Excellent. We'll start moving through.

You walk for a couple hours or so, and even going through this dense jungle, it's hot. It's oppressively hot. And the trees aren't forming the same canopy that the Thinlands forest or even the wildwood formed, so you're not getting like a reprieve of like cool, damp air. But eventually you come to an area where the branches on the trees extend outward and there's more of a canopy for you to like take a break under if you wanted to and cool off. And it's like night and day from the last couple hours.

It's so hot. And he touches like a rag to his head wiping the sweat away. Talitha's hair has gone completely frizzy. Her fur is like huge. Yeah, like hair metal hair. So puffy. Every time she moves it's like... That's amazing. There's like several huge trees providing shade for the undergrowth here.

Is there any water? Any rivers or anything? No water. Yeah, the only water you saw was that blue-green ocean or lake. Everybody give me a perception check as you stand about the trunk of this rough, gnarly tree. Dirty 20. Dirty. Whoa, me too. Dwinzoni. 12 again for Brother Ramias.

He's too distracted by this heat, I guess. Nine. Two of his glasses have fogged up. He's too distracted by this heat, I guess. Nine. Two of his glasses have fogged up. The humidity. Buggles is like, he's sitting off on his own, just maybe on a rock, and his head is down, and he's just sort of quietly, it sounds like he's quietly mumbling to himself, so he's

not paying attention. A dirty eight. A dirty eight. As you're taking a break here under the trees, this was a film we would see somewhere up in the trees, something watching all of you. Predator! As you do we see just see thermal outlines.

Ah! Ah! Ah! Cut back to you guys wiping your brow again, view from the trees. Breathing. Looking down at you. Ah!

Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom. your brow again you're from the trees breathing down suddenly there is a scream and you look up and you see this creature that looks like a cross between a monkey and a scorpion it like whips its tail around at you and the tail starts flying down at the party. Roll for initiative. Oh! Whoa! It's tail? Roll for initiative! Go to a new map!

Can I use my perception? Roll over? I was not ready. It's a brand new roll! All right, all right. All right, let's... Man, I feel like we haven't done this in a while, because we haven't.

Yeah. Asta, what'd you get? 16. 16 for Asta. What about Zephyr? Same, 16. Wow, you're two. Winning.

16, buddies. I still have Zephyr with the wounded condition, but I'm assuming that's been removed from a few weeks ago. Buggles. Natural 20 for 24. Ooh, Buggles. Talitha.

25. Wow, never to be outdone. Talitha with a 25 and Brother Ramious. 27. Whoa. Round it out. Sheesh. And guaranteed, this thing will go first. How'd you know? Seven. Whoa. Rounds it out. Seven. Sheesh.

And guaranteed, this thing will go first. How'd you know? That you can't really go first. You know what, dude? It's getting ridiculous. I know. You know it's 100% of combats. Is it 100% at this point?

I know it's the last seven. When I say that I've rolled every single initiative through foundry VTT But like I said a few weeks ago because this is obviously does happen a lot I think what happens is when you're fighting against Much much lower number of enemies whether it be one two versus four or five. They're meant to go first They're not I mean they have a higher bone. Yeah. But you're telling me you're always rolling 15, 16, 17, 18. That's the issue. They have a higher bone. Boundary VTT. For all your DM number fudging. I mean the way I set up these encounters is like I can pre-set up all these encounters. I pre-roll initiative, load all you guys in, and then I just have it

set. I understand. I'm just saying saying monkey scorpion got a 32 statistical anomaly It's a little valley way Well, it's gonna go first 32 I mean not even close as a compromise. Can he go after Hubert? Yeah, what did Hubert right here goes? and runs away I Rolled a natural 18 you rolled natural 20. I rolled a natural 18, you rolled a natural 20. I rolled a natural 19.

Okay, so it's... Yeah, there's no way. Yeah, I had a... Joe is doing the mental math and he's like, makes no sense. I know, I'm trying to figure out what he would have to roll. I think I rolled a natty 19. Well, I didn't roll it, the e-roller rolled it. Here's what this creature looks like.

Oh. He's also got four arms. Oh! That's so. What in the? Ew, ew! Why? I don't like it. So he's got the monkey arms and the monkey feet,

but then also scorpion claw pincers, like another set of arms. And then his teeth. Oh, and the scorpion. Yeah, he's got the monkey teeth, and then next to him, he also has scorpion stinger teeth. And multiple eyes. And multiple eyes. And there's many eyes. And of course also has scorpion, like, stinger teeth. And multiple eyes. And multiple eyes.

And there's many eyes. And of course the scorpion tail, the full scorpion tail with the stinger and everything. It's like it's on fire and has, like, prongs. It has barbs sticking out of it. This thing is fucked up. Yeah, I don't like this at all. It is with that scorpion tail that it flies out to attack muggles. Oh.

So the tail comes extending out at an unnatural speed, elongating as it does all the way to the floor's floor to hit Buggles. And I rolled a natural 20. And we'll see you right after this. Oh my god. My god! We are back and it is not a named character, however, this is going to be nasty. So it's gonna be double damage. I don't even think I have this many dice. Oh! Oh god! 28 points of slashing damage.

Okay. Piercing, excuse me, piercing. What the? Oh my God. Did you forget to level us up? After we beat Gineppo? We're still level two. I was gonna ask.

Let me just make sure I did that right. Nine, nine, nine, four, yeah 28 points of damage on a crit. So hits Buggles. Buggles goes unconscious. And to dying two. And to dying two. Boom! Buggles hits the floor.

The Harpoon Tail goes back up. Comes down at another one of you. What? Second action. This one is going to be, let's see. Is this a ranged attack or a melee attack? This is a ranged attack. Okay.

This one is at rather ramius. But wait, so you're 35 feet length away, but how high up in the tree is that monkey? Are you out of range? I don't have that monkey. Are you doing A squared plus B squared? He's within range. He's within range is what happens. People start going down.

People start questioning my math! Although I want to know if I can hit it. Yeah, it is 25 feet away. 25 feet up. 25 feet up, yeah. It's got crazy range with its tail. And the tail, like I said, it elongates. Like, some weird stretchy

substance this one comes and brother Ramious will I get another natural 20 no misses with an 11 and then it starts scampering further up the tree okay Buggles is down. What is that horrible thing? And it's brother Ramias' turn. Take care of it. Get rid of it. Oi, what happened to the little green guy? Oh god. You still have to listen to the commentary? Why is your friend sleeping in the middle of the flight?

Could we have retcon that we gave Hubert a dagger or something so he can help? Like this. He has a little stick. What do I do? Oh man. I'm not gonna save ya. No knowledge. All right, our brother, Amis, is going to do it. Nothing to contribute.

He's my favorite kind of classic Troy NPC. There has to be something he can contribute. At least Tumsy had, like, you know, knowledge about the environment. He doesn't even know what the word book means. What? Ha ha ha! This is the, yeah.

All right, Brother Ramis, this thing is now 35 feet off the ground. Shit, man. All right, Brother Ramis. 32 feet, if you actually want to do the math. Ooh. Ooh. Sydney's doing math.

Yeah. Sydney's doing math. The, Sydney's doing math. Branches on the big trees start at 20 feet above the ground. You could try to climb these trees. The bark is rough and gnarled enough for you to climb it. You could try and balance on these big, thick branches. Once you get up there, if you wanted to try and to get into melee with it, not something you'd want to do,

but I want you to know what your options are. Oh my gosh. All right, Brother Ramius is going to cast heal on Bugles to start. Oh, that's gonna be 15 points of healing. Very nice, thank you. Powerful heal to bring him back. So now he's wounded one. So now he's wounded one and then Brother Ramias is going to move to get cover.

So I'd like to move to, you know, some sort of cover. Is that possible? Yeah, that's fine. You can move further back. A branch or a trunk between me and the creature? Something like that? Yeah, absolutely. By moving back to... There are three main trees here on the map. It is in the...

There's two to the north, one to the south. It is in the northwestern tree. And so you move down to the south, sort of behind the bark of one of those trees and just hope to God that there's nothing in that tree. Yeah, for real. Another one of them. And it's Talitha's turn. Okay, Talitha will devise a stratagem, uh, and in doing so,

we'll do an honest job recall knowledge check, but first let me devise. Okay. Let me roll it. No. I am going to attack with that. Uh, but I also got a free recall knowledge. That's what I roll. Yeah. That's what I roll. Okay. Great. Um, what's your niche? Niche plus five. No, no, nothing yet. Very strange, never heard of this.

Okay, I will take a shot with the hand crossbow. That's a 22. Let me adjust my bonus here. Adjust that bone. Adjust that bone. That'll be a 21 to hit. 22, I'm sorry, 22. 22 hits. Okay. So, Pitch of Strike. Okay, seven points of damage from the hand crossbow. Nice.

Clutch. Okay, and you didn't take any penalties from the distance, right? Nope, it's in my range, in current. Beautiful. I did Pythagoras, I invoked Pythagoras. That's well, you should. Okay, and then Talitha is going to leave her crossbow unloaded for the moment, and she is also going to take cover. I guess I'll move back behind this tree to the northeast. Okay with you? Okay, yeah, that would give you a cover as well. Leaving poor Bugles on the ground and wounded, but it is actually no, Bugles will move now to the top of the order and it is Asta's turn. All right, Asta has her katana in two hands, and she goes, ah, and slams it down,

and she calls Thunderstrike. Ice. So you see lightning crackle. And I was also trying to decide. Am I shaking at the thing? Ever heard about a little song called Thunder Road? Yeah. He's about to take a hitch a little song called Thunder Road? Yeah. He's about to take a hitchhike down the Thunder Road.

Yeah. Make a DC. He's going to get picked up by a guy who's got a punch. Reflex. A little reflex save. Bad roll, 14. Fail. Wow.

Wow. Is that Trace's first fail on a Seamacoco of all time? It might be ever. So you're going to take one D12 electricity Wow, you know that choice first fail on a So you're gonna take 1d12 electricity and 1d4 sonic Yeah, I really want it. I know it's not in the wording like they get knocked around but I'm like Sonic damage while you're on a tree. I don't know. It's a reflex save. I'm like we fall Yeah from the tree falls from the tree. Absolutely. I got totally Reflex save I'm like we fall yes from the tree falls from the tree absolutely my god totally It just seems like he should yeah, maybe that shit works at your home game

Electricity hey, that's it. That's really good and only one sonic okay, so he in the tree. You know what it was only once It was too Sonic. I'm gonna Out of the tree They always say when there's an electrical storm hide in the tree So that's a two actions two actions And then she's gonna sprint her speed she can get up to the tree and then let me know can she start? Climbing the tree would be a new action Okay. As far as I know unless you have a climb speed you're changing. Yeah she would just sprint to the base of the tree and then yeah. Looks like Asta might be going up there.

Zefra's turn. Zefra you're the most equipped for this fight. Yes this is Zefra's fight. On paper this is true. Let's go. Let's see how it works. Let's go. You could snap your epic run of terrible rolling every time you guys say that it lasts for two more episodes Okay, don't let Zephyr down Just want you to know we're all counting including Zephyr all right First action point enter monastic archers stand Including Zephyr. Alright. No problem guys. You got this. Here I go. Um. First action. Enter. Monastic. Archer.

Stand. Yeah. You see her, get ready. She's like, alright, it's a new day. It's a new me. Whatever. We're gonna do this. Whatever.

She says, whatever? In her brain, she's like, whatever. I'm just gonna try to do it. Whatever. I'm just gonna try again. Wow. That's the attitude. Don't let them know that you care a lot. You're like, whatever.

If I care, they won't let me hit it. It doesn't even matter to me. If the gods know I care, they won't let me hit it. They never give me what I want. Does Zeppora have OCD? Does she have like horrible OCD or something? What did she just say? Such confidence.

Do you think the gods know that you care? I think we have to have a conversation. I'm so good at roleplaying in combat. Alright, so yes, enter Manasseh Gartrure's stance. And then she's going to take two shots. With this monkey. With the Flurry of Blows.

And you're within your volley range or without your volley? I am outside my volley but within my first rank range increment. Boom sauce. First half my range increment. Ken. Scorp key? Come on!

Monkey in? Okay, wait. Scorp key? Scorp a monk. Scorp monk? 18. Ffff... Miss.

Oh. Damn it. Okay. Okay. Okay. Turns around and shows you its ass. Okay. Hey.

Hey. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. You didn't care anyway. First arrow. Pshooom. Right past. She's like, no whatever whatever whatever you didn't care anyway first arrow Right past she's like no problem. No problem. I got this um

next arrow Nope, that's a five Shoot she's like you know what? No, oh, yeah, I'm me all this watch you're supposed to hit the creature It's attacking you this fucking quite sure, never heard about combat. I don't think you even know what a boat is. I don't, but my sister had one in her hair. Go away.

Don't mention my sister. What? Did you roll initiative? No, too scared to fight. Oh god. Then you don't get to speak. Why are you standing here? What?

Just here for commentary. You missed twice! Oh man! Throw Hubert! Throw him! Next turn. Have Hubert roll into a ball and then start throwing him. Sonic the Hedgehog. Yeah, with my last move, I don't want to get hit by this tail,

so I do want to take some cover and move away. So, into this little thicketry area, hopefully that'll help. It's amazing. Leaving Hubert alone on the battlefield. See ya! Hubert and Buggles. Buggles is prone and on the ground, and everyone leaves. But now it is Buggles' turn.

Buggles, you're wounded one and prone. What do you do? Buggles is going to stay on his back, and he is going to pop, do an ignition. Try to do an ignition on the creature. There. Oh, that is a 23 to hit. Shooting fire into the trees.

Yeah. That is a hit. Nice. Beautiful. The tree catches flame. The tree catches fire. And the bow that he's standing on falls, and he dies. Yeah.

That is six points of fire damage. Six points of fire damage. Six points of fire damage. OK. And then I'm with my third action. I'm going to stay on the ground and I'm going to raise a shield. Shield cantrip. Shield. You literally turtle up.

Hiding under this glowing blue disk. Is it equal to the penalty for prone? Does that give you a plus two or? Yeah, okay, so you're like I put petrified on there, but it's supposed to be prone Yeah, all right, so you do shield to kind of negate the prone situation. It is the monkey scorpions turn It looks down at Asta And it shoots its harpoon tail down at you Do I have any coverage now that I'm at the base of the tree with all the branches like is there no Is there no concealment down there? No. Okay

They went under other trees they get concealment and he's not taking any. He looks happy about getting any cover. Yeah That's gonna be a 30 to hit. That is a crit. That's a crit? My AC is 19. Hey. Zoinks. We're level two. I'm level two. We haven't bought armor. I haven't gone to a store.

I have the highest AC. We've been in the Thin Lines for months. Exact same damage, 28 points of damage. And I'm down. And you're down. This is not fun to play. Every time I'm like, I'm gonna go do the thing where I go to hit the creature and then I go down. I'm gonna be like a hero. I mean that is kind of the

chewy way right? You're gonna go down. You're gonna go down. It's also like you're the frontline fighter. This is gonna happen to you more than anybody. No I have on a breastplate. I'm just like a weak little guy I guess. No he's rolling rocks. He's rolling rocks. He's rolling rocks. Alright, you know what? Let's raise the stakes a little bit. Second action. It starts to pull you towards it with its tail.

Oh no! This is going to be an athletics check against your Fortitude DC. What is your Fortitude DC? It's a plus seven for my saving throw, so my... So that's a 17. Is it a 17? Okay 17 okay 10 plus your is this change if I'm unconscious should I put in a condition no put dying just to see if it makes a difference I don't think it affects your fort clicked on you so

everything is black and white because you're dying dying too by the way if you're following along at home why am I dying too? Because you got crit down. Oh that's why. Alright so it succeeds. It wasn't a crit success so you get pulled five feet off the ground towards it and then for my final action I'm gonna attempt to pull you even closer another five feet up towards. So you guys just see Asta gets speared and goes completely limp like bleeding and then just gets pulled off the ground like fully Like your limp body is just being lifted like you're still holding your katana, right? Yes It's like a bishop at the end of aliens. I

Would never let go of my katana never rigor mortis. Yeah, I gripped it so tight this ship didn't either it wasn't holding one All right, so I fail because this Yeah, I gripped it so tight. The spaceship didn't either. It wasn't holding one. Alright, so I fail because this reposition has the attack penalty, so I take the map. So I fail, so you just stay at five feet above the ground. So there's a chance. However, you are dying too, and you do feel that that pierce within you has formed some sort of hole that could be very, very bad. On the plus side, we can just assume that Oss is dead, and it can't use a tail against us. If you all ran right now, you'd probably be fine. Yeah, it got its meal.

Just putting that out there. Probably not going to chase us. It would be easiest for the party to just run. You make a great point, though. Keep me in the tail, and I will slowly pass away, and you guys won't get hit by the tail. It's kind of genius. Also, Silverlining, if you die by him eating you, you don't have to die from the poison.

That's a great point. Thank you. Thank you. Is that Talitha talking? Is that Matthew? Are you still mad about earlier? I think he's mad about the Bruce Springsteen stuff. I think you're mad about the Bruce Springsteen stuff. You're taking it out on Asta. All right, so you are grabbed as well. So give yourself the grabbed John and yeah, this this thing is like barbed It's within you. And it is Brother Ramius's turn. Asta no!

And he stumbles out like the clumsy fool he is behind the tree. And he completely ignores the hedgehog pretends he's even here, and he's going to look up at Asta. It's connected to this thing, and he'll try to blast the creature and distract it into maybe dropping Asta. So he's going to do a Divine Lance. This white light shoots across at the animal. Ptoo-shh! Uh, that's a 22. A 22 to hit hits okay okay okay come on do something here

don't don't roll garbage Ramias don't roll hot trash six points of damage that's not bad spirit damage okay you hit it does it weaken its spirit? Does it weaken its spirit? Perhaps. Is it saying, for example, whatever? You hit it and it shudders and you see Asta like limply swing from its spiked tail. Didn't let her go. That's his turn. Okay. It is Talitha's turn. Okay. That's your turn, right?

Joe? Yeah. That's your turn. That's your... Just making sure that you... That's it. Okay. Okay.

Ummm... Would you... Oh. Yeah. Talitha? Ugh. She's got caps. What am I gonna do?

Bring her up? She'll go right back down. She got caps. She's got caps. Oh, that's right. You have two caps. Yeah, I can stabilize. Oh, she's fine.

Exactly. I'm gonna die though. So I'm gonna do damage to the creature. All right, you're not gonna die with caps. Okay. Talitha will, um, might, but we'd all have to be dead. Move out from behind the tree. I was gonna turn into a cat and climb the tree. Be so cool. Ugh, now I gotta save Asta's life. Did you say Asta purposefully? Yeah. Asta. Asta. Asta. She fights like Asta.

I heard it. Wow! When I wake up, your guys are dead. You guys are so dead. You're gonna be Asta-leaf. Yes. You're so mean. Thunder roads take me home.

Thunder roads take me home. I'm in it for the drama. Shut up. The drama. Okay, to hit that's gonna be a 19. I just rolled a natural one while I was fucking around. Yeah. That's a hit. That's a right, that's not a...

You moved into away from the cover. Moved, reloaded shot. I didn't have the extra count. So a 19 is it's AC. Because I did 18. Six points of damage. Hey, that's great. Six points. Another six points of damage. Hey, that's great. You go six points another six of damage. Okay and

Anything else? That's it. Okay Zephyr you see hostage you were pretty cold to upon meeting but perhaps over time you've grown closer and look what happened Last time you grew close to someone they died Maybe that's why I don't grow close to people anymore. Because you're poison. Whatever. So I saw Talitha make a hit and she didn't try that much harder than I did. Try really hard.

You should do what she did. Hit it. Hedgehog. So I come out from underneath the tree cover, still in my stance, and I try again with my flurry of blows. She's still keeping it positive. She's not crying out of frustration yet. She's like, OK, no, it's fine.

I got this. She gets another two arrows out, ready to go. I believe in you No miss um that's an 11 boy on the first one Be like brother Amias. Can you please just be quiet? Please don't talk to me while I'm trying to shoot so sorry so sorry Keeper it's your police guide, always. You hear him. Oh. No.

Yeah. Katelyn. Wait. So it's just a mess. Would you please read the result of your job? I gotta go. The listening audience, at home, as well as the viewing audience. I got a natural one. Oh my god!

On my second attack. But I gotta call it, I gotta go with my red. It's awesome, my mom's here. My mom just called. My mom's here to pick me up. My mom's picking me up, my mom's upstairs. Unlike Monkey Scorpion, this is a named character. A rearranged Fumboni.

Oh boy. God. All right, this one from Dylan in Adelaide South Australia It's titled sorry skid There are a lot of those are titled back What the fuck out of bullshit Already wherever you are attacking from, your attack magically finds its way flying toward wherever Skid is. No.

Oh my. Why? Roll a new attack roll against Skid's character. If you beat his AC, it's half damage. If Skid or his characters aren't present, roll a random lead to choose a target. Oh my god, this one, this Dylan targeted you. He's fighting back. When Dylan wrote this, he didn't know

that I was going to be targeting the cutest character. He didn't know that Buggles is the cutest character. What if you crit Skid? He did know he was targeting one of Skid's characters. What if you crit Skid? That's the fucked up thing about this fumble, is that it could happen to an enemy. Yeah, so even if the enemy fumbles,

it would still fuck me up. It's such a twisted. Or if you fumble, you'd hit yourself, which is your least favorite. This Dylan hates you. You, personally. You personally, in specific. I bet he has your last text book, too.

Just roll another map. Do I use? Question, map question. So that was my second roll. Do I use my third map for this? For a new attack? No, no. This just represents a die roll to see if it happens. This is an otherworldly attack. Yeah. But it's still minus five. It's the same attack roll. You're just...

Same... Okay. Whatever you just used... So it's a plus three. Yeah. Plus three to hit. No. 16. That's a hit. Are you serious? He is prone. Yeah, because I'm prone. No, 16. That's a hit. Are you serious?

He is prone. Yeah, because I'm prone. But you have shield. Oh. Yeah, with the shields. It's still there. Because it is plus one, it's not plus two, so. Okay.

All right, so. It's still a hit. So it's half damage. How many hit points do you have? Sweet God, if we ever come to Australia. We are now. I'm not going. You guys are going.

I'm not going. Fucked up. Live from Dylan's back yard. All right, so half, you're going to give him half damage, which may take him, uh, a Now I'm not going you know Live Dylan's back. Yeah Alright, so half you're gonna give him half damage which may take him Straight to dying to know I roll a d8 and half it or just do a d4 the road the road Yeah, roll a d8 and half it There comes the eight to two points of damage. Okay, okay, you roll the two. I rolled the four minus

Yeah, got you all right, so two points of damage Give me attacks left. I rolled a four minus, yeah. Got you. All right, so two points of damage. Do you have any attacks left? Any thoughts you want to hurt? Jesus. So I moved and I did 30 of blows. They both missed. One of them did a U-turn and hit bubbles.

So now I feel like... You literally pulled the bow back and it shot sideways. Yeah. Per the fumble, it magically finds its way toward wherever skin is. She's like, am I cursed? Did I get cursed by something? I really don't think I should be using my bow and arrow anymore.

So rather than take a third attack, can I do a knowledge roll on this monkey? Yeah, it's about time somebody did. I have nature. It's plus four. Nature plus four? No idea what time somebody did. Scorpion. I have nature, it's plus four. Nature plus four? No idea what this thing is. No idea.

You're not even sure if it's a monkey. It's otherworldly for sure. It's otherworldly. It's Castrebellum. It's also the top of round three and it is Buggles. Buggles. Okay, so as he's lying there on the jungle floor and he gets struck by a friendly arrow. I'm sorry, I don't know what happened. He's like, ah!

It's not me. It's like, he looks back in your face and all of a sudden his eyes glow blue. He's like, ah! And the frost forms around him and he reaches out a hand and casts frost bite on the monkey. Please give me a fortitude save. Fortitude save from the monkey 16. Okay, that is a failure. Oh, that's huge.

You guys will forget these fails. You'll be like, die on 16, die on save. That is... Two of us talks That's ten points of frosty damage points of frosty through the monkey and usually when you take frost in a tree you slip Because of the ice that's in the remaster And when fighting a tree is section and I get five points of temporary HP myself awesome

and Actually, okay. Yeah, and then with my third action I am going to do a side burst so please give me another... a Will Save. Oh, sorry, Reflex. It's a Reflex. 14.

That's a fail! Oh! Let's go, Buggles. It's another two points of damage as my...-a-con psychic energy knives into its brain. Pfft. Hits. Mental damage. Monkey.

Looks pretty. It's like shaking up there on top of the branch. You're fine. Shaking up there. Pretty, pretty rough. Until she falls and takes falling damage. It's now... It might be.

Nine-three. Bottle cap. It's Asta's turn. A couple things are going to happen. As you are grabbed with this barbed filament, you immediately take five points of bleed damage, which takes you straight to dying three. Oh my god. Okay.

And now you roll to stabilize. If you fail, you die. If you have any bottle caps, you can give them all to me to automatically stabilize Or you can roll first as is often suggested But if you okay, but if I roll first and it fails I can use a bottle cap That's we all should your dying condition go up then you can use it but you have to use every single bottle cap, right? I mean she has the bleed condition. Oh You didn't say that before you take five bleed. Okay, so I have bleed. It's not the bleed condition

Okay, you take five bleed damage as long as you're in it. Yeah, you know what thing I've been down this block before with a previous character all roll, but now I have bottle caps So we'll see what all natural how many caps you got I'm gonna use my I have two caps you're all natural 20 You're stable. Yeah, she's all oh, no, you're not stable, but you're dying one. All right, so DC 13 flat check Well, that's a fail it's a nine so that would take you to permadeath or you can give me both of your camps I will lob this very softly. Okay. Thank you for the soft lob All right She then broke Troy's computer

All right, so then now you automatically stabilize and I think in this case you lose the wound. You're not wounded. Not wounded, you are stable at zero HP. But I'm still grabbed. Still in the grasp. Yeah. And unconscious but not dying. And unconscious but not dying. So I have zero HP, not one HP, zero HP.

Correct. Alrighty. However it is, the Monkey Scorpion's turn. First thing it does is attempt to pull you towards it. Actually no, let's have some fun. It's going to clambor down towards you as it does you feel the tail getting stronger and stronger because it's no longer elongating, its body is contracting. This is such a creepy creature.

It comes down and just goes to claw you 25 to hit yes, all right, so you just go right to dying one two because that's a crit no, it's not no 19 is her I know it's 17 unconscious and prone 17 oh, that's my grabbed hold on unconscious unconscious. What's your unconscious AC? 13 that's a crit. Wow, Matthew. Pretty good. Thank God for Matthew.

He really does have it out for you. You got really mad about Bruce Springsteen today, and I want everyone to know that. I got really sad about Bruce Springsteen. This is for you, Bruce. God, this is for Bruce. Bruce could help you in times of troubles like he has me. So... Thank goodness you're not wounded.

Dying 2 you said, eh? Yep, Dying 2. That was a fun use of my bottle caps. Not. You literally saved your own life. Just to really take things to the next level, it then releases you. You hit the ground and go to Dying 3. And then with its third action, it fires...

From 5 feet? Yeah, because you take... Well, yeah, unconscious, I would imagine you take damage. How much damage am fires. From five feet? Yeah, because you take, well, yeah, unconscious, I would imagine you'd take damage from it. How much damage am I taking from five feet? That's one point of damage. It's enough to bring you to dying three. I watched a video about, with a trauma surgeon,

kind of commenting on the injuries at home alone. It hurts you a lot. Yeah, five feet is actually kind of a problem. If you fall more than five feet. Head strike, cracked ribs, puncture a lung. No damage. No damage? Okay. Even while unconscious? If you fall more than five feet. Head strike, cracked ribs, puncture a lung. No damage. No damage? Okay. Even while unconscious?

If you fall more than five feet. There's nothing about unconscious. Yeah. Make it canon, Asta still has a soft spot in her skull. I think. She's like a baby. Next time we're all staying at a hotel together, we should take each other's beds. While we're unconscious, just drop everybody five feet.

See if it hurts. If you take any damage. At all. If you five feet. See if it hurts at all. If you wake up. See if it hurts at all. If it hurts at all. If you say it hurts at all, you should take one foot. All right, that's fine. All right, so you just hit the ground, dying two.

And then it is going to shoot its harpoon out at... Hubert. It's the closest. It's right there. It's a lethal. Probably gonna miss here. Yeah, now two. So, misses, that's it.

It snaps right next to her head. Yeah. Brother Ramious, you see Asta lying perfectly fine, having taken no damage from the five foot unconscious fall. Perfectly fine, huge gaping wound. I was so pumped, like, if we were gonna do this properly, comedically, like, as she was released, it would be at that awkward angle

where like her head and neck hit first. So it's a, and it has this horrible, horrible sound. Crunch. And she took no damage. We're gonna be fine, never felt better. We're really fine. It's only five feet. It's only five feet. It's only five feet.

All right, brother Ramious. Well, they say like in a car crash, if you're like sleeping in the car, you take less damage. Because you ragdoll. Your body's ragdoll. Whereas like if you're the one driving, you take less damage. You take less? You take fewer HP. Doctors say that.

That is interesting. Federal Department of Transportation stipulates that if you're asleep, you take fewer hit points of damage. Okay, brother Ramius is going to... If you're about to crash, you should definitely fall asleep. That's what I got for you. Quick, sleep in the lullaby! Someone give me sleeping pills! He's doubting Ambien.

Okay. Bill! Bill! He's downing ambient. Uh, okay. Milk! Milk! Milk! Brother Amias is going to... Now that this thing has clambered down a little bit closer, he's going to try to get a better look at it. So he's going to do a recall knowledge nature on the creature. Plus eight. I think. Shit.

Don't tell me anything. Plus eight. Sigh. I think. Shit. Don't tell me anything. Don't tell me anything. You won't anyway. I wanna make sure I didn't foul this up. You don't know. Uh...

I don't know anything? Yeah. Yeah. I roll really badly when it's for you guys. I know. That's so crazy. So weird. So weird that that works. Why don't you use the app?

Yeah, why don't you use the app that rolls you 20s every time? I could do that. Let's make a deal. You roll your Foundry, your knowledge checks and Foundry too. I'll roll my, yeah. I'll set up all the macros for you.

Set up the macros. There are actually, there's a macro, or there's a thing I can use that lets you guys click your knowledge check and you can't see the result, but I can. Oh, that's cool. I can set that up, but I do like using our sponsored dice as much as possible Ramious is going to reach out and cast stabilize on Asta so you will stabilize at zero wounded one did one thank you you got it so I'm not

unconscious anymore. You are unconscious. I am unconscious. But you are not dying. Okay. But you are wounded one. Okay. Yeah, wounded one.

So the healing light of the Keeper surrounds you. And maybe there's something else infused there. It's kind of strange. And it stabilizes you. But yeah, that's it for now. Okay. Good round for Brother Ramius. Talitha, what do you do?

Uh, reload. Ruh-kah-kah-kah. Divide the stratagem. Come on. Okay, and I will use that. And make the check of the... Substitute the attack roll. Uh, that will be...

Uh, it's gonna hit, but it's a 24 to hit. Oh yeah, that's a good hit. Kill it. And this should kill it. So, we're fine. Nine points of damage. Nice! And it falls out of the tree.

Yes! Lands on Asta's body, and she goes back to die. Luckily it was only five feet, so she doesn't take any damage. Luckily the corpse is in good shape, because it only fell five feet. The dead monkey scorpion lands right next to Asta. And Asta is no longer dying, so you are out of danger. Yeah, Brother Ramius will come hobbling over to Asta. Oi, Brother Asta, you okay?

So Letha will rush over as well. I've asked the Keeper's Blessing to stabilize her, and at the very least, she should be okay. While Joe is working on her, can I do a medicine check to see if she's been poisoned? Mm. Is there something I can do? Yeah medicine check to see if she's been poisoned? Hmm. Is there something I can do? Yeah, give me a, what's your medicine?

This is a grizzly wound. My medicine, you say. My medicine is plus five. Plus five. You don't think so, it doesn't, you don't, you're not getting any smell, you look at like the tip, the barbed tip of the tail, and it doesn't seem to have secreted anything,

it's covered in like blood, your blood and her blood. Um, but you don't sense any poison. I don't, I don't think she's been poisoned. Zephyr goes up to Buggles. I'd like you're like still laying on the ground and she's like, I'm so sorry. Uh, I don't know what happens there. And when you do that, the Kualu Khan is still in control. Oh, so she sees like your blue eyes still.

They turn red, like as you come up, it just like rises and like you feel like, and he like lifts his hands up, like he's going to take some kind of revenge on you. And then it's just like, like staggered and he he's just like, ah, ah, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That's okay, I deserve it. No, no, no, no, no. Accidents happen. Yeah, but I do accidents

and then I also don't help at all either. So it's okay. It's dead now. It's all right. It's all right. And he just like kind of falls backwards on his back. And it's just kind of like clutching the arrow wounds. And he's almost too weak to stand.

Brother Imias will look across at Talitha as he's working on this horrible wound that Asta took. Have you ever seen anything like that? I have no idea what this is. Never even heard of anything like that. Some sort of monkey, scorpion. He seems to be pretty dialed in though, cause he crit on the treat wounds.

Oh. So that's pretty awesome So he will do a total of 18 points of healing and you're not wounded anymore Yeah, you just from her shallow breathing it's kind of Okay, the ramius bugles is still he was also hit oh What the creature never touched him? What are you talking about? It's the shark, I...

The arrow is sticking out of your side. He did when he first... He comes up, he touches the arrow, he looks at Zephyr. This is one of your arrows. I don't know what happened. Oh it's alright, it just hurts a little bit around the area where the arrow is. Alright, I'm going to get this out. Buggles? Here. He hands you a strap of leather. Bite down on this.

And he rips the thing out. It hurts like a bitch, but. Oh, so much pity. Thank you. And he patches up that arrow hole. I scraped my knee when I saw that thing. I scraped it against the tree. Could you heal me as well? I'm so sorry to hear that. We all stout here. Why are you?

Oh, fuck. What a stab. I just want someone to heal me too. Why are you? Oh fuck. What a stab. Just want someone to heal me too. You're still hurt, Asta. Oh yeah. I mean Asta is like still holding her side and she's definitely alive but she's like just sitting against the base of the tree next to the dead monkey and is like.

He's going to come back over. He's sweating bullets. That is a crit. Oh six another crit, which is awesome For a total of 13 points of healing back up to full Thank you. You're British poking the Monkey scorpion with a stick you but no boy Never seen anything like this. No, no, no, no. This monkey's gone to heaven Francis absolutely lost it.

Absolutely lost it. He can't even get his breath. I'm a little worried myself. I'm actually worried. Oh, all right. Don't know what that is. I'm gonna stop. Sorry. I'll stick, take... I should, sorry, I shouldn't, I shouldn't, no, you Don't know what that is. Stop. Astagh.

I should, sorry, I shouldn't, I should know you wouldn't get that. Where is my mind? Wow. I mean, can you ever turn it off? Yeah. Astagh takes brother Ramius's hand in both her clawed little hands.

Your blood and your blood just mixing together. Yeah, all over. Thank you. Thank you. I didn't think I would go down. I don't go down that often. No. That's not what I heard.

I'm sorry. You got I'm sorry. Oh my. You're gonna kill him. Oh my. Oh my. Alright, this uh, the joke, old Harry. My brother Harry used to say that, I don't know what it meant. No, tell us, Austin's hair. Forgot who doesn't know what books are, he has pretty cutting humor.

Huber, tell us what that meant. I never quite understood the joke. Asa's hair pops out, say what it means. Hubert? I don't know, just what my brother Harry used to say. Say it. Can we really fling this guy over here? Am I funny?

Asa just takes a claw and goes under Hubert's little chin. You are very funny. Like you. Funny little guy. And she almost like lifts him up with the claw and then just drops her hand and picks up her katana and sheaths it and walks over to the monkey. And then takes her katana out and then just stabs the monkey in the chest. Pete Slauson The body just… Kari Slauson And then she flings the blood off, puts her

katana back in. Jared Slauson You have to find the same inner strength that Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor did dealing with Jar Jar Bane. Somehow. Kari Slauson How did they hold it together? Pete Slauson They were advanced practitioners of a magical religious order. Yeah, that's true. I don't have those skills.

Ramius? This is why Brother Ramius is taking us in stride. He is though very concerned about the dangers we may face in this place. Yeah, does the monkey scorpion have anything on it? It's just a monkey scorpion. Because I think it's just a wild animal of this place. Yeah, does the monkey scorpion like, have anything on it? It's just a monkey scorpion. Because I think it's just a creature in its nature. This is a wild animal of this jungle. We need to be careful, but there's nothing we did wrong.

No, we were keeping an eye out. This is the first, this is literally the first thing that we've seen in this place, and it almost wiped us out. We could be heading into a literal wave of utilization. Perhaps all the more reason to close it. Oh my god. I just can't continue. I can't compete with this.

Do you ever get sad that you have no one to banter with in life? That you can return your serve? Like you just ace every conversation. Spike. Spike. Hey. what's your nature Austin does anyone know what this creature is yeah I mean I did a nature and failed and I don't know survival that he has already rolled to try and figure out what this thing is both you got all three of you rolled you don't

have any do you have any survival zero and. And nothing, no nature. No. You do, here's what I'll say, is looking at its tail, you think you could probably harvest the tail to use as an actual harpoon if you wanted the arranged weapon. Let's do it and give it to Hubert. Yeah, I slice the tail off. Oy! I throw it to Hubert. Next time, you help.

What do I do with this? Figure it out on your own. Do I play it like a banjo? You know what a banjo is? Of course! And you cannot... Of course! My brother, Ara, used to play the banjo.

He had a whole act! I thought we would have so much in common, being, you know, animals from the forest, but he's so- He's not from the forest. He's not from the forest. It's not from the forest. From a very dark place. What does he make any sense? He's from a horrible, horrible place.

And it made him a horrible, horrible animal. He's called Boston. So clever. He's called Boston. Yes. Thank you for this. I'll hold on to it. Stick him with the point again. All right. Stick them with the point again.

All right. Stick them with the point. None of us, though. Gotcha. All right. Let's keep, let's go to the- All the more reason to get to this, whatever this civilization may be. Perhaps they have safeguards against these wild creatures.

Let us get back on the move. And Brother Amos will heft up his pack of books, spcks soaking with sweat, not any relaxed after that brief respite, and continue on. Are Asta and Bugle still wounded? No. No. Okay, they both remove wounded. Oh, go ahead. That's if you get treat wounds.

Treat wounds. As a result of successfully treating wounds, you lose the wounded condition. Also refresh my memory, Skid, from the sapling rod, how much fruit did we get? Do you have all that fruit? Uh, I don't remember. It's in our loot sheet. Ah, I will check the loot sheet. I know that we had the fruit and I was going to say if

we split it up just in case, but maybe... I feel like it was four pieces of fruit. Everybody got one. I thought it did one D8, something like that. It either does that or like lesser restoration. acts as one of the other maybe yeah but that was a one it's a one-e thing like we had to oh it's a two-e change it over okay so I think we just said one d8 hp just thinking out loud it just occurs to me that if we're on castravel or on some tropical island wherever uh that weird guy malchior is never going to find out what happened to Barna because we are never going back to the Thinlands farm.

06.00 Yeah, well, we hopefully will get back to Galarian one day, or at Avastan, I should say, one day and- 06.00 Then we could send a letter. 06.00 Yeah. 06.00 Yeah. There might be a post office at this pyramid. 06.00 One can hope. 06.00 Maybe. 06.00 I mean, they seem to have some advanced technology here. Yeah.

Like the old saying goes, where there are red gondolas, there are males. Males? All right. Onward. Onward. And no change to... I want to be updated if there's any change to possible passage of bipedal, perhaps intelligent people. So any trails that suddenly seem a little bit more well maintained or well trodden

or anything like that, just give me a shout. Otherwise, yeah. Markings on trees blazes. Otherwise I'll just still assume we're in the complete wild where there's no evidence of anyone having been. This has also got to feel like Apocalypse now. Yeah. Because it's like, we're in this completely alien place. We're here for five seconds and we get attacked by a scorpion monkey and two of us almost die.

So we have no idea what kind of threats could be lurking for us here. So yeah. And we saw dragon poop when we arrived. And we saw dragon poop. We've got to be crazy on edge edge, especially you cuz you're a drug Yeah, drug guy. Yeah, I Think it's time for drugs. I think so That's how they got to it. What's next time you're gonna be in the jungle? I've got some exactly. I've got some shipping

Do you really? Yeah. Oh right. We got it at that thing. That's right What you guys talking about? Don't worry about it. Come, be cool man. What? Have you ever smoked flea leaf? What's that now? Flea leaf.

No, I just chew on this feather. The what feather? This feather right here. Oh, I thought it was a toothpick. You chew on the feather itself. I do. Are you afraid of that grinding down your teeth? Calms me down. I'm. Are you afraid of that grinding down your teeth?

Calms me down. A bit nervous from time to time. Ah, yes. Would you like a chew? I'm good, thank you. All right. Some good feather. I'm going to walk ahead.

He got mad, he's laughing. All right, I'm going to smoke some drugs. I'm just going gonna do it. We're at this stop, we're stopped at this little place. We're stopped at that one. We're stopped at that one, we're going ahead. We're moving on. I know.

But he's like, hold on a minute, I wanna smoke some drugs. He just needs a second to roll it, that's all. So you're doing this in front of us now. We're all just watching you. Like you heal us. Fuck it. Manically. And he rolls it, and he'll, I'll walk with it. So we're just doing Crown the Open now.

He's covered in your blood. Yeah. As am I. Have you been smoking that before you tried to heal us? So where are your hands shaking? You'd be surprised how focused it can make you. Hey, hey, Julie, what if the cops are out? You know what cops are?

I thought you didn't know it, Bailey. What if the cops You know what cops are? I'm sorry to think you're full of shit. You know what banjos and cops are? You never read a book? Pulls out a tinder twig. Oh, please! Oh, put it against your skin, see if it does anything. You nitwit! Me mother called it burny stuff. What's that word you used? Fire! You and this family of imbeciles. In fact, you made it out alive. Staggering. I'm the last in my family.

Be careful. You're eating the Bernie stuff. Excuse me. Let's go. Let's move on. I never knew. I never knew Brother Amias, I guess. Comes out in little spasms.

Asta, if you want me to go in front, I can for a bit. No, I can. Are you bleeding? You bleed? She like checks in. The blood is still wet. Like she pulls her hand away. It's still wet all over her robe.

And she's like, maybe perhaps we could walk together. All right. And so you continue walking through this thick jungle where or the ramius, really keeping a careful eye out for any signs of life that has maybe trod through. Yes, if any of the trails are a little bit more well-kept, any tracks or anything like that, please bell means- I'm too little for- He's a child, Asta.

What? We're passing the duchy to the left-hand side for those listening. For those listening, we're all pretending to smoke. Is there any left? I took one. I didn't expect to get it back. I took one. You don't see any signs of life beyond like wildlife. There are trees that have been scratched.

There's that beast you'll smell about. And the sounds are the sounds of nature, jungle sounds, insects, buzzing, things skittering about in the brush. But eventually you start to hear another sound the sound of rushing water and so continuing in that direction you come upon a Rushing River

cuts across the jungle and as you come out of the clearing into where this river is You notice that its wide waters are red as blood against the jungle's green. Just upstream, there are some red rock outcroppings that squeeze the river in that portion into narrow rapids, providing a line of jutting boulders that are close enough that you could probably hop across. The rest of the river looks too rough or deep to safely try and traverse.

You look upstream, you look downstream, and these little rocks that are jutting out seem to be the only way across. Blood, red, river. In fact, let's go to the map. Oh no. Oh please, I am so thirsty. Oh. Okay.

Oh, you weren't kidding. Jeez. Ooh. Blood. Asta's squinting and she goes, is that river super red? I'm so thirsty. I'm so thirsty.

He gets down on his knees at the edge of the river. Brother Amy's so... He's gonna put his hand into it. I'm so fucked up. And sort of like run it up his hand. See, you know, if it stains his hand red, or if it's clear as he pulls it up, or if it's red as he pulls it up.

Is it sediment? Yeah. Yeah, is it red from the rocks? Pull your hand up and there's like the faintest little orangey residue that's left. But it's not like viscous. You'll smell it. Take a scoop and smell. It smells like normal water, but like... It's obviously not. There's something else going on here. What's your nature again?

Eight, plus eight. You think that it's the ominous coloration is due to like just a lot of iron in the water, other mundane minerals that have changed. Supports your mining theory. He's going to drink it. Immediately get the couch He immediately gets out

Very strange instantly your foot. It's a word you hear often applied to gout immediately Instantaneous gout. Oh, this is what put it over the edge. No it's very refreshing And then I'll scoot more Asta goes down on her hands and he's and starts drinking it too and just like putting it on her face just yeah I'm so hot. I'm just picturing like not traveling with a proper, you know water skin and stuff through the dark lands Whatever the thin land. Sorry then through the jungle super hot whatever. I just didn't whatever, the Thinlands, sorry, then through the jungle, super hot, whatever, I just didn't... I imagined he didn't have water on him, so I was eager to see water, and so he's gonna drink it. So, he's gonna take an empty vial and take a sample.

That is better. Yeah, she ducks her whole head in. I think perhaps the coloring is a result of the minerals. Savior fur. Yeah, red. The coloring is a result of minerals,. Yes, red. The coloring is a result of minerals, perhaps a mine or some such upriver. And it looks upriver.

If I perceive in the distance, you know, in daylight, can I see anything far upriver? Does it just turn and go out of sight? The river starts getting wider and wider and then turns and disappears. Out of sight, okay. And so we need to go across these rocks? It seems to be the only plausible place to cross. Is it moving fast? Yeah. It seems dangerous.

The way that those rocks are, it like, the water rushes over them but it's forming these little, you know, the way that they're positioned it's making it a little bit... rapids? Yeah, the rapids are splitting so it's not as uh... yeah crazy you can use the leap action but you know you don't even have to roll for it because it's uh... okay so this does not seem particularly dangerous

no you don't want to fall into this sure but like we don't have to roll we can leap action leap action leap action alright so brother ramius jumps out first yeah I thought it was a little ridiculous that brother ramius goes out first but I will Leap action. Yeah. Leap action. Okay. Leap action. Alright, so Brother Ramius jumps out first. Yeah, I thought it was a little ridiculous that Brother Ramius goes out first, but I will.

He's high. He's high. Bargo's slightly emboldened. Bargo's, hold on. I'm a little bit nervous. Slow down there, Ramius. Oh. He just stalks to you on the edge of the shore at the last two to leap.

I'm a little bit nervous. Never really been near this red stuff. Well, this is just water, I think it's just water. What's that again? Water. Oh God. Hold me back, hold me back. What do you call it?

It's amazing. Runny drips. Oh no. What is he saying? You don't wanna know. Doesn't know what water is. Oh, for keeps. This is runny drips, runny drips water.

You have any more drugs? For you or for him? Just me. Oh, yes. All right. I'm about to try them. You're the only sober person with this hedgehog. Yeah, I can't be back here sober with this hedgehog.

I'm so sober, this hedgehog is so dumb. It's all right, if it's just runny drips, I'm fine. Oh, look at I go over the runny drips. Look at I go. Look at I go. It's a really inconsistent Mrs. Aranis. Oh hey, Asta, look. Here comes your man.

Oh, Jesus. Hey. I'm tired of being all alone. Oh, Jesus. Are you blaming me for asking him to come with us? You did. That's your boy right there. I thought he would be helpful. It's your friend.

Oh, stop it. You let him out of the cage. Oh, we got to talk to the hedgehog. We've got to invite him along. Well, he's coming closer, so do you want to keep being mean in your shot? He is he is kind hearted He's just so stupid Make the jump brother Asta. Yes jump Jump. Yes. I'm going right over the runny drips. Here I come and

Hubert starts jumping from rock to rock. Brother Ramius, up in the lead, turns back to look at this. And as Brother Ramius, you take a glance back to look. The rest of you see something rising out of the water behind Ramius. Oh no. And Ramius, you see the looks on their faces, and you turn. And look at this massive snail like creature rising out of the water and it just rears itself back and we'll see you next week. Oh no!

God, Revere! Be careful! It was ridiculous that he would jump out there first. Too easy! It doesn't make any sense! You did it! I know, but it doesn't make any sense. You did it. I know, but it didn't make any sense. Be careful.

It's gigantic. Don't fall in the running drips. I blame it on the flailie. He was high. I blame it on the flailie. Were you high? Of course. I prefer bold.

It's time to make your membership official. Become an official member of the Naish today at jointhenaish.com. That's jointhenaish.com, where you'll get access to exclusive podcasts and live streams you can't find anywhere else. See what everybody's talking about and join the Naish today at jointhenaish.com. Thanks for watching!