The Glass Cannon Podcast - Gatewalkers Episode 34 – You've Got Snail

Episode Date: May 10, 2024

A jungle river crossing is interrupted by a giant snail-like creature. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/t5gAgH8cfLc This episode was sponsored by Demiplane, Foundry VTT and Norse Foundry. Check out Demiplane's Pathfinder Nexus and character creation tools at https://bit.ly/GCNOfficialTools See why tabletop gamers everywhere have made the switch to Foundry Virtual Tabletop at https://foundryvtt.com/gcp Visit https://neoplants.com/GCN and the code will automatically be applied at checkout. Receive 6 Power Drop sachets with you purchase Neo Px, and to celebrate the launch, Neoplants is offering a 7th sachet free of charge. Visit https://auraframes.com and use code "GCN" to get $30 off plus free shipping on their best-selling frame. The Glass Cannon Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/GCN to get 10% off your first month. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for hundreds of hours of exclusive shows and benefits, make your membership official and join Glass Cannon Nation today by becoming a subscriber at jointhenaish.com. Watch new episodes when they premiere every Thursday at 8PM ET on youtube.com/theglasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Go to Kraken.com and see what crypto can be. Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss. See Kraken.com slash legal slash ca dash pru dash disclaimer for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. You are in a tropical jungle and not likely one anywhere near Avastan.

You see a pair of brilliant ropes connect a nearby hill to the pyramids in the distant mountains. And you see tiny dots like a gondola. I think we know our destination. Let's go through the jungle toward the hill. Yeah. There is a scream and you look up and you see this creature that looks like a cross between a monkey and a scorpion. What is that horrible thing? It looks down at Asta.

Aaaaaaah! And it shoots its harpoon tail down. That is a crit. That's a crit? And I'm down. Aaaaaah! Talitha, what do you do? I will take a shot with the hand crossbow.

Nine points of damage. Nice! And it falls out of the tree. Y! We have no idea what kind of threats could be lurking for us here. Yeah, onward. Onward. All the more reason to get to this, whatever this civilization may be.

You come upon a rushing river. Its wide waters are red as blood. And so we need to go across these rocks. And as Brother Ramius, you take a glance back to look at this massive snail-like creature. Oh no! Rising out of the water and it just rears itself back. The adventure continues... now. No Oh, hey, welcome back to the Glass Cannon podcast.

Has anyone at this table ever greased a palm? Yep. Is that an euphemism? Wait, is that a, yeah, what does that mean? Never greased the old palm? You never greased a palm? Oh, wait, is that when you put money in somebody's hand? Yes, because you want to get something, maybe a nicer table, maybe entry into a clurb.

Well, I am not in the mafia, so no. Okay, well, skin went right to yes. Yeah, I have greased some palms that day. Give me an example of the last palm you greased or the one you want to talk about. Names and locations. I was 20 years old and I was trying to get into old Chicago in Denver.

The pizza place? Yeah. Because we're trying like different, because we had our fake IDs that we made. Because our friends were, they were art majors down at going to school at Colorado Springs. And what they did was they made like a giant version of a Colorado, no it wasn't Colorado,

no it was a New Mexico driver's license with different letters you could swap out. Oh, fun. And so then you'd stand in front of it, take a Polaroid, cut it out, laminate it, and at first glance it looks like that. At passing glance, yeah. At passing glance.

There was a guy growing up when I was growing up in Jersey who did the same thing except they did not have the forethought to be able to swap out the letters. So every fake idea. Oh fake idea had the same name. Oh my gosh. I remember that night really vividly because it was also the first night that Nick, because he had been, Nick Shelton was making,

he had his moonshine still. So it was the night that we broke out the moonshine for the first time and we were making our fake IDs and we were trying like hell to get in all these different bars and clubs. that was our last shot was old Chicago. So I was just like, guy, as fellas, I got this. I was just like, I would really like to come in here and hang out tonight. I have some like $20. And we were just like, all right. Wow. Worked.

A successful greased palm. Yep. Nice. Got a lot of good greased palm. Have you ever greased a palm? No. I thought you've greased a palm. No.

I've done the weird unnecessary folded up cash in the handshake for a tip for a contractor. You know what I mean? Between the fingers. Like, unneeded. It was not a bribe. It was like a tip or a contractor, you know what I mean? Like, unneeded. It was not a bribe, it was like a tip or money owed. Like the tip for my wedding DJ. Did you do that to the wedding DJ?

Yeah, exactly, like, hey, you played some good songs out there. Why didn't you just hand him the money? Why are you keeping it a secret? Dirty secret. But yeah, I think what you're looking for is a bribe. Like, did I ever bribe anyone for anything? No, I can't think of any time I've ever given somebody money to get a little extra special treatment or something.

Really? Matthew, I can see you trying to sneak into some Jersey water park. Yes. You can. That's what I do. I couldn't get into the water parks. I'm not doing.

I'm just kidding. I see him walking up, like, from the car. No shirt, flip flops, towel over, hair everywhere. Perhaps Abraham Lincoln. Sir, I'm sorry, you must be this tall to drive. We don't need to worry about that. I have greased a palm. So when I was in college, I sold my car,

because I was living in New York, so my car was just sitting in my parents' house. So I was like, what do I need this car for? And then I came home for, every time I was home for a summer or something, I went to a wedding, I took my dad's car and I was feeling really nervous about it because he's very intense about no scratches on the car. Sure. Most dads aren't like that. Yeah. I know. Unlike all other dads. So I greased the palm of the other dads. So I greased the palm of the, of the, uh, the, the ballet at the, at the wedding venue. Like take, take care of this. Yeah. So it's a cool move. Very, very, very

mafia. Yeah. I don't think it was, I don't think it was that cool. I think it was mostly me shaking with terror. A little bit of a tip, but it's borderlines bribe territory. I, I hung out with, actually it was one of Caitlin's former coworkers, and his thing was like, when he would get to a bar, he would just like, he would order a drink and immediately tip a ridiculous amount to be like, save the bucks. And they're like, I don't know you, it's not my place, but we're going to be cool. And like, I'll take care of it. I have done that.

I like wedding open bars. I'll like go up, especially if it's like crowded. First drink I order, I'll just be like, give them $20. Yeah. Be like, thanks man. And not saying anything. Stop what you're doing when you see me come back up later. Right, exactly.

When you walk back up, they're like, what can I get you, sir? That's a pro move. That's a pro move. A big tip on your first drink, if you're going to be there all night. Kind of as a prop. Yeah. Because you're like, I'm important.

Please take care of me. Yeah, take care of me. For that coworker, and then the way I've done it in the past, it's usually if you're with a big group and you're going to be annoying, I'm going to come up and order a bunch of stuff. So it's just like, I'm sorry and thank you as like a gesture, I'm gonna take care of you and.

Especially because a lot of people don't tip at open bars. So it's good to like just, I'm one of the good ones. Yeah. Yeah, I always tip open bar or like the, you know, the airport club, whatever, like the drinks are free. It's like, here you go. Like I pretend like I'm paying for the drinks. Yeah, there's no such thing as a free drink

when somebody's being hired to give it to you. Yeah, you got to pay for that. Getting harder and harder, though, because most people don't carry cash on them. That's the thing. All I have is 20s. You have a Venmo. It makes me feel so bad to ask for change for a tip.

I'm just like, just take the whole 50. Because I don't know. Could you break this down and then give me change? Right, here's $100. Can I make sure you give me singles back? Have you watched The Curse on Showtime? I still have to watch it. I'm very excited.

Because that's like a huge moment in that show. It's just exactly that. Asking for change for it. Yeah, it gives, it's, I won't ruin it, but. I was, when I, my barber, right before they raised prices during the pandemic, it was like set up so that you could, I think they did it this way specifically,

you could give, like if you get, like it was like $30 or something for a haircut. So you like gave them $40 and just left it. And they were like. Yeah. And that way it was, it was perfect. And then they raised prices. Now I'm like, all right, now I got to break this 20 ahead of time.

So I can, it's a mess. Yeah, it's tricky. Kate ever greased a palm and a goat slaughter or something? A ritual sacrifice. Are you making fun of my Greek heritage right now? Orthodox Easter? You ever? No, I was broke when I lived in New York. So I did not have the money to actually grease palms. But as we all have agreed, tipping people is bribery. And I do tip very well.

And I do the same thing where like, if it's an open bar, like tip first, well. Heavy, tip heavy. Yeah, I use tips as bribes a bit, yeah. Yeah, but if you're tipping after, that's not a bribe. Yeah, I guess before. It's really if you're tipping before you receive the service, then it's a bribe.

It's the same thing, like every time I've moved, you have the movers show up, and there's always like some issue where it's like, they didn't tell us you had a television, and then there's like a back and forth, and they try to like, Wait a minute, wait a minute, give a TV. It always originates from this point where like,

they think you're not gonna tip them, so they're like trying to get more money out of you. So I've just learned to be they think you're not going to tip them, so they're trying to get more money out of you. So I've just learned to be like, I'm always going to tip you. I don't care. I'll buy you beer if you want to. Please just move my shit. And then they're always cool.

Yeah, I hadn't thought about that. It's probably better to tip them in advance. Definitely. Yeah, I always tip them in cash. And I tell them when they show up, I'm going to tip you. Please don't give me the run around of like, we didn't know you had a bed. Like, come on. We could call our boss and put that on the manifest door.

You could just make sure you tip them, right guys? I had that exact conversation. Yes, every single time. What do you tip a mover? I just always tip everything 30%. Touch the artists, food. A dollar an item. A dollar an item.

A dollar an item. A dollar a book. A dollar a book. I'd split more on the tip than I would on the film server. Tiffy's getting out of control though, because now everybody's using the stripes and shit. Oh yeah. And so you go and buy something that you shouldn't be tipping for. Well, I went to a show and I went to the merch stand and the merch stand was like, tip the merch people. And it's like, well, no, like I'm not tipping the merch people.

It's like the grocery store. I'm like, I don't, I don't think I have to tip the cashier. I'm so confused. Why am I paying your employees? Especially after I scanned and bagged all of my items. Self checkouts like, would you like to add a tip? I'm like, for the robot? I don't know. I always just feel bad. I'm like, I know you're probably making no money at this job, and it sucks.

I do end up usually still tipping. My guilt complex, I tap it anyway. Yeah. So do you ever grease a palm? Only police or politicians. Use greenbacks, non-sequential bills? Yeah. So when you get pulled over, you get your license hanging out with like a 50

No, I don't I'm a beautiful woman so I don't really have to do that. I just get in wherever you want They just take care of you. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm joking. I Think I think most are. You mean you're not. We know that. That's how it works. That's how the world works. I think my fear of rejection is a barring point to me

trying to grease palms, because my fear is that I do it and I get rejected. And they're like, no, thank you. Hand the money back? They would give me the money back and be like, I don't like that you did that. And then I would be like, huh, huh. Like, what do you do?

What do you do at that point? I don't know. So I guess my own, you leave. You go home. They dislike me so much that they'll turn down cash. Cold hard cash. Oh my god. Like, how awful must I be?

I think Kate mentioned the mover thing, which I think is very real. And I do it too. I'll get them coffee and waters on deck, ready to go, and they show up. I'm like, good morning, guys. Got you some coffees, whatever. That's definitely bribery a little bit.

Yeah, that's for sure. To let them know I'm cool. To be like, I'm going to tip you. We're chill. So I used to work very briefly when I moved to LA. I worked at the standard on the sunset strip, the standard LA. Fancy.

Yeah, it was very fancy. This, my buddy's crackhead ex-wife got me the job. And I worked, I was like a bouncer slash security slash customer service guy. Hey, let me help you with the bags. There's the lobby. I mean, walk around, I got some stories from my one month that I worked at the standard. But once the club opened up at eight o'clock until two in the morning, your job was to be at your position. And oftentimes the best position people like to have was out back just to make sure that nobody came in through that back gate. And so everybody

at work there was either an animal or an asshole. And the guy who was the manager of the club knew that the bouncers would sneak people in the back and take a bribe. And so we would just be like, no, we're not allowed to do that. So you'd have to like have it set up where one guy that had been there for 10 years was there with you so that he knew to take the bribe and you were the lookout. So I would tend to be the lookout for the manager. But then at the end of the night, the bouncers would just like pool all the money. Didn't matter if you were working that, taking the bribe or not, but it'd be like an extra 600,

700 bucks at the end of the night. And they just split it up amongst the five bouncers. The wire. Yeah. It was just a weird, weird thing. And, but we've got a little extra money at the end of the night. And the guy that was in charge of the bouncers, he took his cut and that was, so I haven't greased a palm, but I've had my palm greased. Yeah. You've got a little extra money at the end of night and the guy that was in charge of the bouncers He took his cut and that was so I haven't greased a palm, but I've had by palm grease Yeah, you've been bribed. Wilmer Valderrama gave me a 20. Wow But you don't have to grease your palms to watch this tonight. Unless you want to. We'll be back after this break. Oh God. Oh God.

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They're great. They're fantastic. They're really, really great. Yeah, we recently made the move on our touring show, Strange Aeons, over to Foundry VTT. We had two shows a couple weeks ago ago and man, smooth as butter. Yeah, it was really cool. We speculated that we would have a good time there and it turns out we did have a really

good time. We sure did. Yes, we sure did. And the just the combination of moving to Foundry and then also having one of the top three screens we've ever had on tour at the show. Oh my gosh. I mean, it was like a movie theater. Yeah. Yeah. A screen,. I mean, it was like a movie theater. Yeah.

Yeah. A screen, an IMAX of Foundry. We've played at a lot of awesome venues, but that was the best one. I think that was the best venue we played at. Gorgeous. I agree. Austin was awesome, and that screen with Foundry,

it looked just incredible. It was awesome. I was like, the only bigger screen we've had was in Dallas. Dallas. Yeah. Yeah. For show number three. They do it big in Texas, man. That's how they do it. of weeks, which is fucking crazy. We're going to be back on the road.

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Get those tickets! But now, roll for initiative. Oh! I forgot we're right there. I mean, jumping right in. Just jumping. Jumping initiative! Hang on, we might have to stop.

I think there's something wrong with my demo plane. It says we're only level two? Yeah, only level 2e. That can't be right. And part of this new in-studio experience is that you only level up every seven or eight months. Regardless, it's a new. How fun.

It's like some people do milestone. I do every seven or eight months. Well, you said it was going to be a gritty campaign. Pretty gritty, yeah. It's just second level. You're just going to do it at second level the whole adventure. Maybe after the boss of this book, you can go to third. I've been thinking about doing half levels next. You do second level the whole adventure. You know, maybe after the boss of this book you can go to third

I've been thinking about doing half levels next you do second and a half We used to do that you used to do that in Giants lair quarter levels You're saves your saving throws your BA B your AC and your skill. Who was that from somebody Merwin? Yeah, but no, it came from somebody Quarterly piezo was like a recommended, like, on the blog. I can't remember who it was. It doesn't seem so crazy now, right? Because you'd get a quarter level every four hours of play.

So every 16 hours, you'd level up. Yeah. And it does make more sense, in a way, to me to have these improvements happening incrementally, rather than all at once. It's just like, it's like, that's like matrix shit. Yeah. It's like, I know Kung Fu.

Like all of a sudden it's just like you learn everything. I don't, but I don't know how it would work with Tui, but. Yeah. It'd be a little weird. I'm sure it'd be a little weird. But yeah. Well, maybe if you beat this creature, you'll level up today. We'll see.

Snail better be fucking rich. I'll tell you that much. Guys are deep in the jungle. You fought this monkey with a harpoon tail, monkey, scorp's see. Snail better be fucking rich, I'll tell you that much. Guys are deep in the jungle. You fought this monkey with a harpoon tail, monkey scorpion thing, and then you come to this river. It looks uncrossable, but you do see a collection of rocks that is slowing down the stream enough that you can leap, leap, leap, leap, leap. Brother Ramius, stoned out of his mind, decides to take the vanguard.

He gets very close to the other side of the road when this creature emerges. Let's just take a good look at this son of a bitch. It is a giant snail amoeba, very, very gross. Part of it is translucent. It has all this shit coming off it. It has fucking tubes coming out of it. It has holes in its shell with these

Milipede They're all like little crab legs The art is great, I think it's kind of cute you want to do a diplomacy thing. Yeah For some of your drugs. We are friends here. Would you like drugs? Let's talk a nice-ative. What did you get? Buggles.

I got a 13. 13 for Buggles. Very good. And what about Brother Ramious? Brother Ramious got a 16. OK, you want to roll again? Why you get your? He's just excited. No, I was going roll again? Well, that's why you get your, uh. He's just excited.

No, I was going to, on air, roll my save for Flayleaf, as should all of you that smoked Flayleaf, whether you were kidding or not. Which would be Talitha. It is a poison. And Scooby-Doo over here. I did smoke it. You all did.

Oh, no. Is that a Fortitude? It is a Fortitude save. Yes. And I saved. What is the pass? It is a fortitude save. Yes. And I saved. What is the pass? It's a DC-12 fortitude. I failed.

You failed. What does that mean? You get a plus one item bonus to saving throws against mental effects. Oh. For one hour. I'm assuming we're in the first hour of the effects. So when you lose, you win.

No, it increases in stages. Starts off good, most of the drugs do. Right, people at home? Yep. And then it gets back. Yeah so stage two you become fatigued and then other stuff starts happening. Zeffy, Doo Doo, what'd you get? Eleven. Eleven for old Sefer. You guys need to level up to get these initiatives. I know. Our initiatives are terrible. Talitha. 24. 24. Okay. And Asta. Poopy kaka 9.

Wow. I really thought this was the week one of you would roll higher than me, but it was not the week. I rolled a natural 17. So you didn't do that great? No, I didn't. I didn't get that great, but I had some bonuses. It gets a bonus to like stealth while it's underwater and if the water is rushing is that what it rolls for

initiative stealth yeah well it's stuff yeah all right so let's get down to business this is a large creature rises up out of the water. OI! Says Hubert Edge. Look at that son of a bitch! And let's let's do some attacks here. Um. Oh no. I think it should be a rule that if an NPC is not gonna roll initiative they should not be able to comment during the fight. Yeah. He did roll initiative. Oh he did? To try and leap away. He rolled as best as possible. Alright so you see it kind of rear itself back, right, and it whips forward, and as it whips forward, a chunk of it seems to detach from it

and come flying at you. At who? At you, Brutalamus. Zephyr? Brutal. What? Zephyr? Brutal. That's gonna be a 23 to hit. Oh, yes. All right, well, a 23 to hit. Yes.

Alright, well a couple things are going to happen. The first thing that's going to happen is you're going to take 13 points of bludgeoning damage. Oh my god. As this thing comes flying at you. But then what also happens is that little thing that came off its body that came flying at you lands next to you. And it's this little tiny, let's see what it looks like. Looks like a little chunk of it. No.

I hate it. That's just a zoomed in picture of its shell. Just a little piece of it is sitting next to you, and it like starts moving towards you. Oh my god. No! And it is going to just kind of like lash out at you It's very very small, but it just kind of lashes out at your leg with a little pseudopod

I go we want to talk action economy here, or is this a separate creature? What's that is it's an it's a minion so the creature uses its command so that the minion gets to attack with its pseudopod The creature uses its command so that the minion gets to attack with a pseudopod. It's two axiones? It's two axiones. Oh, I hate this fucking thing. I guess we know now that we're on Seti Alpha 5. It is a... THIS IS SETI ALPHA 5!

It's a 28 to hit. That's a crit. That's a crit. Okay, well luckily it's not a named... A minion crit? Not a named John, but it will be 8 points of acid damage. Oh shit. Well, got very, very, but it will be eight points of acid damage. Oh, shit. Well, got very, very, very, very lucky there.

Brother Ramius is about dead. He's near death. Oh my gosh. Were you down already? No. No, we're level two, Kay. All right, so Brother Ramius takes... That first hit wasn't even a crit.

A big hit, and then... Skin burning. Oh! Let's see. It will hurl another one of these at Asta. So this one it lobs a piece of itself. This might be a mess. Actually with the map. I'm sure that is a miss.

Let me just check. Don't be so sure. Does it have the map? It's a range of attack that doesn't count towards the multiple attack penalty and it's multiple pack penalty doesn't apply to this attack. So it is a 21. It doesn't take multiple attack penalties for this particular action. So another one of these things just boom, hits you for a total of not too bad almost max though 15 points of bludgeoning damage.

And now there's a little one of these things next to you. We're having fun. It is... Talitha's turn. Okay. Uh... Three enemies. I'm going to devise a stratagem.

Against whom? You, to put you out of your misery. Please. I mean, I think you do have to name a target. Don't you when you devise a stratagem attack the snail Oh, why didn't know you were taking the little one? No, I'm not gonna take the little one. Well. I'm not gonna take anybody actually because I rolled natural three So instead I will take my hope I will take my free knowledge recall knowledge on the giant snail, okay? I will take my free Recall Knowledge on the Giant Snail. Okay. Arcana.

Arcana or Nature? 19. No. Never certainly, never seen anything like this back in your Blood River days. Days fishing along the Blood Rivers of your homeland. Alright. I'm gonna, can I attempt a separate knowledge check on one of the minions? Yeah, absolutely.

Alright, I'm kind of stuck here on this rock, so I'll roll on the minion. You're stuck between a rock and a wet place. 20. 20. You think it's probably a piece of that thing since it came off of it. That seems like a logical conclusion. And then third action, I will attempt to aid Brother Ramius. Okay. And we'll see how that manifests when the time is right.

It's Hubert Hedge's turn. He's like, Oh, I've... What's going on with those things? I don't like the looks of those. I'm gonna use my actions to get the fuck out of here. See ya. Leap, leap. I wasn't gonna fight anyway. Why is he here? Why are we tolerating him at all? I honestly don't know.

He has no family, no friends. No one would find the body. He certainly doesn't have any friends. Join the club, Hubert. He is, he's been nothing but kind, and he has nowhere else to go. He made a really, really inappropriate comment to us. He's been something other than kind.

Running away from battle is not kind. That was his brother Harry speaking. He didn't even understand the implications of the joke when he made it. He just thought he was thinking of his deceased brother when he made that joke. All you do is, all you've done is give him your ire. He is the Jar Jar Binks of this fucking program. Yes, he is. I'm gonna think of, I'm gonna look at these bushes, see if there's some food to give my new friends brother Buggles brother

Talitha brother Asta brother Zephydoo and brother Ramias Speaking of brother Ramias, it's your turn. All right brother Ramias in a panic near death Don't fall brother Brother Ramius! Going to turn and run. He's gonna jump. As that happens. Couple other things are gonna happen. First, where is it? A character who takes damage while standing on one of the stones.

Both of you give me an acrobatics check when you took damage from the flying chunk. Oh, well, yeah, this is why I didn't. Can I 8 on this? Can I 8 a block? No, because it was supposed to happen when they took the damage. I just forgot. I figured this would be the case. I got X-Sat. So that's a 9 for Brother Ramious. 15 for Asta.

Okay, you are able to hold your balance on that slippery rock. While there was no threat, it was easy to jump from thing to thing, but you could feel that sort of mossy slipperiness under your feet. When you get hit, you lose your footing. Give me a reflex save to grab an edge. Oh, no. That is a... Boy, that is an 18.

18. You start to fall and you are able to grab onto the rock So you are in the water holding onto the rock If you had failed you would have been swept into the river You have to use an action to pull yourself up onto the rock or you can stay in there and just you know cast Or whatever whatever you want to do. Oh my god But we'll say we'll put you right there Okay, one square south of that rock.

I actually know you were on it. No, I was up where I was. Yeah, so now you're wedged between those two rocks, like maybe that... You're getting pulled past it. Oh my god. Um... Okay, Ramius is going to... He is going to try to get out of there. I mean, he's going to try to get out of there.

So he is going to attempt to work his way around the rock. So he's going to attempt to like let go and hold and let go and hold and let the current pull him around the other side of the rock so that it's between him and the creature. Okay. All right. So you move first action around that other rock. Yeah, and then like trying to get his bearings for a second, he is going to cast, he's gonna cast a two action heal on himself. Okay. And he says prayer touches his own body and will heal.

And I'll tell you what amount that healing is. It's 14, 14 hit points back, which is good. 14 hit points back. It now goes to Buggles. Buggles, you're the furthest away, with the exception of Hubert Hedge. You saw Brother Ramious fall into the water, but grab onto the rock, pull himself down, and heal himself.

This is tough, because the drowning rules in 2e are almost roughly as brutal as they are in 1e. Arguably too brutal, but if one of us were to go unconscious and fall in, standing in the middle of this river, it would mean pretty almost instantaneous death. Yeah, certain death. Permanent death. So my plan was to jump out of the river, go back onto the shore to be a little safer

in case I inevitably go down. Unfortunately, the one space that I could jump into to be out of the river is now occupied by his fucking hedgehog. Is he small though? Can you share space? You can't spare it. You can't, I'm also small.

We can't share space. It looks like the one above him though. There's a feat for that. You can hop. There is a, that looks like a promontory to me. That looks like a mace. I thought that was a shore. I mean, it is a, this, all right, correct me if I'm wrong.

This looks like a tower of stone. It is a tower of stone. I would argue that that space right there that is to the north of Hubert is kind of like the edge there of the shore. Okay. Yeah. All right. Look, I saved you a space there, Mr. Buggles.

Buggles. Brother Buggles to you. Brother Buggles? Buggles does not hold the Hedgehog in as much contempt as I do. I was thinking of you the whole time! So Buggles is gonna jump across. Look at you! And I am going to Ignition on the snail.

All right, you're a good distance away. Ignition on the snail. All right, you're a good distance away. You're the one to do it. Fail. Fail on the ignition. You sure? Natural three. Natural three, all right. Boom.

Fireworks go off in this game. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Now Zephyr's turn. Zephyr, with the exception of Brother Ramius, you are the closest on this lone little rock. Yep. I would not like to be close to this thing. I kinda wanna jump away from it

so that I can take out my bow and hit it without bouncy. So what I would like to do is jump onto the rock that Asta is on and then jump onto the rock right to the left of it. Okay so you want to jump on the rock first action leap to the rock where Asta is. Yes. You can do that and then you want to leap one more over. Yep. Okay second action will be to leap to the other rock. You can share a space with that little chunk and the chunk does not take an AOO against you.

Awesome, so from here, let me just double check and measure. Great. Straight shot, 35 feet away. I'm going to, I don't think I have my bow out jumping across these rocks. I think that's fair to say. Honestly. I don't think that's fair to say.

I have my katana out. Yeah? I think what I'm saying is if you were walking through the jungle with it I don't see why you'd stow it. We also just got attacked. Yeah. So like maybe you would. I am going to at least spend an action to get into monastic archer stance this round. I was just kind of wondering like did she have her bow out? Do I need to draw that? It's obviously solely up to you but I don't think it's ridiculous to be holding the bow while you jump over rocks. You could use it as a bounce, or you could use it as a- Yeah, it almost acts as a bouncing measure.

Legolas always had that out. Well, there you go. No matter what they were doing. It's cannon. I'm fine with it. You're better than him. Yeah. Maybe one day.

Ah! So, yep, she's gonna jump two rocks over and then try to hunker down as much as she can on this tiny little rock, get into monastic archer stance, be ready to hopefully do some damage next round. Okay. Okay, I like it.

I like it. Finishing thing off, it is Asta. All right. You tried. I tried. You tried speaking. Finishing things off. Asta. You see beneath her white robe, her claws, you know,

and her feet like grip the rock as she disappears and reappears next to the snail creature on the alternate rock. I don't think so. You can like teleport? My dimensional assault. It's half your speed your speed right we got blasted on this oh Wait is it well? Yeah, read it again? But we we got you tumble through space being a tournament like our last episode or call or to any square in range

That's within reach of a creature and then Range is half your speed Last line Your speed is what, 25? Yeah. We were talking about this on Legacy that every spell description in Pathfinder is like an M. Night Shyamalan movie.

There's a huge twist at the end. It's like you can do whatever you want except this one thing. All right, so. I mean, you could get to that rock to the north and move away from this little chunk. Yeah, I definitely don't want to be near this little chunk. Yeah, so let me leap to the rock to the north.

First action. Okay. Could you then do it? Is that 10 feet away? That's two actions. No, it's one action. Dimensional assault's one action. I could do that and then I could hit.

I wanted to do a spell strike. I wanted to dimensional, and then I could hit. I wanted to do a Spellstrike. I wanted to Dimensional Assault, and then get a Spellstrike in to do max damage. But then your Spellstrike takes the map. You know what I mean? Like, that's a bad way to use Spellstrike. But so does a hit. Yeah, but when it's all juiced up with your spell,

you want it to be your first Jawn of the Jawn. Yeah, I guess I just- So if you do it this round, you could do Spellstrike the next round. Your argument was compelling until you said Jawn of the Jawn. This is why I shouldn't ever gamble, I guess I just your argument was compelling until you said John This is why I shouldn't ever gamble because I'm always like but I'll just roll well Is that what you did when you were champion speech and debater?

I'm so far removed They beat the John out of me when I was there Came back over time none of us even know we're unfazed. Kate just like blinked and was like, uh huh, the jawn, exactly. I know what you mean. Yeah, and that's exactly what she does. The jawn of the jawn, so she gets on the rock. This is your first jawn of the jawn.

She does her jawn, which is one action. And then she's gonna do second jawn after, so we'll come back to that. All right, dimensional assault, first hit. With Katana. First attack against this. It's gonna be a hit. First hit, you mean. First attack against this. First hit, you mean? 90, 19. Oh!

Oh! I quit, dude. That's gonna be a 27. It's a hit. Okay. Definitely a hit. So, two-handed, that's my D10. Oh my gosh, I feel like I haven't hit in so long.

Yeah, I feel like we are basically not gonna crit much without a natural 20. At second level. Maybe. We are playing second level for the whole game. Five points of damage? Yeah, I got minimum on that one, that's okay. And you get another attack because?

That's the free attack with the dimensional assault. Gotcha, okay. Now my third action is I'm going to attack, and it takes the map, but maybe I'll roll a natural 20. Natural 20. Yep. Or not. only. Yep. Or not. Ha ha ha ha. Nine.

Nine. All right, so you just, phwoom. And with the strength of your miss, you fall into the water. No, but you might, after this giant snail things attacks you at the top around two. One of its pseudopods comes out and just, wha-pah, goes to smash you.

Oh no. Oh no. That's a 30. Oh. That's a crit. I'm gonna go down again. This is the same exact thing that happened. Is this the same day?

In the previous combat, yep. It crit on me and I went down. What a horrible day. Asta's having a. Just remember, going down here means possible permanent death because you will drown. I'm on the rock. But have to roll off the rock. It is a slippery wet red bloody rock. If you take damage you need to roll like that save yeah.

Alright you're gonna take 26 points of bludgeoning damage on that crit. Was it a crit? 30? Yes I have a 19 AC this happened last time. Yeah 20 what'd I say 20 26 to 30 26 points of damage bludgeoning damage. You want to know what my max is for HP? Just so you're aware of like a second level character. I don't care. It is 26. Oh my god I was already down dying too. So I was at 11 and now you just took me down 26 more. Okay So let's really walk through this. Yeah. Are you at zero or you're at...

Negative... Alright, zero. There's no... Alright, so put yourself at dying two and now you've got to roll these saves. And now we're gonna have... And I might die in two because you took me below... With a crit. With a crit.

Right. Okay. Why would saves have anything to do with this? She's unconscious. But her body... I think it's more of a luck roll than anything. Yeah, I'm just giving her the benefit of the doubt here because this is death, you know what I mean? First, do you fall into the water?

And then second, is there like a part of your consciousness that goes to grab the edge? If you can make reflex saves while unconscious, I'll allow it. I'm not sure... We've talked about this before. When you're unconscious, you can't do anything. Okay. What's the... What is the... So I'm dying sure we've talked about you can't do anything okay what's the what is the so I'm dying to what's the other condition is there unconscious or no no you're just dying too so it doesn't change any of my wounded already from the last time no because we healed I was I was I treated

wounds yeah yeah you can you take a negative four status palatine to reflex when you're unconscious yes when you're unconscious okay so then let me put in unconscious well Oh my god. Well, no, if you just add the dying condition, it should give you the unconscious condition. Yes. It's part of it. You don't have to add the unconscious.

It didn't take it on my sheet, so I just wanna make sure I do it correctly. It's minus four from what my save is. You take a minus four penalty to AC perception of reflex saves, and you have the blinded and flat footed conditions. When you gain this condition, you fall prone and drop items You are wielding or holding unless the effects that's so all right katana's gone stays on that rock. Oh, thank you

Let's see if you remain on the rock Give me and rowing it in the river. I thought about it. Give me if it was a give me an acrobatics check acrobatics Yeah, okay with your give me an unconscious acrobatics check. Okay, so that's a minus four to the acrobatics check. Acrobatics? Yeah. Okay. With your give me an unconscious acrobatics check. Okay. So that's a minus four to the acrobatics two. Just says status penalty to AC perception of reflex. You feel I feel like you should but you're off guard. So that will take the way I'm thinking about like this is all happening simultaneously. You know what I mean? Like you're hitting and like as the lights are going out, you're trying to

stay on this. So I feel like there should be a penalty But if you've added those conditions didn't take it off the acrobatics and yeah, go for it That's gonna be dirty 20 a Dirty 20. Yeah. All right. So you just if there are no penalties to acrobatics while unconscious I'm not weighing in on this. This is preposterous. I know, but like I'm looking at the unconscious thing

and it says you're sleeping, you've been knocked out, you can't act. Or you could just run the game based on the actual shit that's happening. Well, I wanna make sure that- I thought you weren't gonna say anything. Because you have so many other debuffs, that is what would possibly attribute

to like any negative on the skill check. It takes it off, right? I cannot say the rule, that is against what you're saying. It takes it off the reflect, I just added unconscious, I needed that to change the sheet. It took it off reflex,

and it's confusing, because like your reflex is your dexterity, and your acrobatics is your dexterity, but it does not take it off your acrobatics. So if it's an acrobatics check, and not a reflex save, then I would argue that it doesn't. Here's the problem. Unconscious says you can't act. So it's really a decision of whether or not you fall in or can you make an acrobatics check while you're unconscious or is the strike happening at the same time as the acrobatics check and I'm going to say you fall in the water.

Matthew, were you going to say anything to help me or are you saying I have to act right now? Here's what I'm saying. There should be a roll. You don't automatically fall in the water. She is on stable ground on a rock that's slippery. It should be circumstantial in nature. If you can't-

There should be a chance that by pure luck she lands on the rock That was the acrobatics Jeff if you can't act you can't use any actions Well acrobatics sure sure so that's what I'm saying if you want to take that that that's fine Let's back up so when when you when you take damage from this creature when you're standing on a rock what happens you have to grow Acrobatics first and what's the order? What's the when you take damage so that you've taken the damage that made you unconscious then you Was that not a jack represent all calling prone keeping your feet keeping your foot When you take damage, so you've taken the damage, that made you unconscious. Then you... What does the acrobatics check represent? Falling prone? Keeping your feet. Keeping your feet.

She doesn't do that, because she falls down. Yeah, you're prone. But she was unconscious. So that check is wrong. What if you just do an up and down luck roll? If I fall in the water, or if I'm on the rock? A character who takes damage while standing on one of the slippery stones must attempt an acrobatics check to balance.

She doesn't. On a failure, they can then attempt a reflex save to grab an edge or be dumped in the river and swept away. I think reflex save though. Yeah. Well you just roll to save. Yeah. All right, so that's a good point, Matthew.

I think you get hit, you take damage, you cannot use acrobatics to balance. I use a reflex. So you start to fall in, you get a reflex at a minus four. It's a 16. 16. With the roll that I made, yes. Alright, so now the problem with this is the reflex saves

to grab an edge and you're unconscious. But it's not, you don't have to like think of it as actually grabbing it. Right, right, right. Just like it is the random chance that you don't fall. I fell half into the water or like. Alright, so since this is a gray area,

this is how I'm gonna rule it. I'm gonna rule that you start to, you fall in and you get wedged between the rock that Brother Ramius had wedged himself into. So you're in the water and you're just kind of wedged there unconscious and dying too. And I'm not drowning. You're not drowning yet.

Yes, you would be if you're in the water. Is your unconscious? But if you're wedged against, if you're wedging an edge, if I'm drowning. But you haven't, the reflexes. If you're wedged against a rock though, it could be, like the pressure of the water could be still holding her up for a couple seconds.

That's fair. Some would say I'm quite in a rock. The way I'm ruling this right now is that you are upright. I may change my mind as rounds go on, but right now you're upright, unconscious, dying too, and very likely going to die in this combat. I'm having a good... I just want everybody to know, I'm having a really fun time with this campaign.

That was a fun thing. Can't wait to see what I come up with next. I know, it's always fun. And I know that the folks at home are thinking the same thing. Like, what will she do next? Not a fighter! I'll tell you that, Mike. What will she think of next? What castrebellion creature will you be able to do? Come back as the scorpion is what I'm gonna do. Alright, well now it's this thing's turn. At level one. It's still this thing's turn, rather.

So it is going to start swimming over these rocks and coming towards the rest of the party. Gross. You guys are like slurring. Slimey. Oh yeah. I don't even want to look at this. Gross! Yeah, so second action it will just start coming over, just like amorphously moving over and then with its final action it will hurl a chunk of itself at Talitha. Natural 20.

I mean, it's just not in the cards for you guys. Do you want to play twins or something in the next one we make something fun, something silly? It just cracks me up. I wonder what goes through your head when you read these encounters. He's like, I'm going to roll rocks this entire time. It's going to be great. Pretty standard jungle encounter and someone's going to die right after the spray. That's true. That's true. right after the spray. That's true. That's true. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. We all have things that we need to get off our chest. You know, I'm going to get some off my chest now, as suggested by this script here.

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We're back. I had a feeling this could happen. Skid even mentioned the dangers around water it just adds an extra element of oh shit Let's see what happens. It is a natural 20 with this thing coming at Talitha It's not a named character. I'm glad you got some of your secrets out There are more. I know I'm sure there's a Great that you like to read or Explore. Yeah, in a closet. In a small room. In a small room that was not exceptionally cold. You know, I was gonna reveal more about that, but you guys were such assholes.

Pretty cool, ice cold. Thank you. I don't think you were. It was cold as ice. Well, you take 30 points of bludgeoning damage on that crit. Okay, I'm uncalled for. Are you dying too? Yes.

I was at full HP. Yep. Yeah, I'm uncounted. Are you dying too? Yes. I was at full HP. Yep. Full HP. So yeah, this is the problem. Oh wait, with the game. Yep. All right, so you're dying too. And us is dying too.

All right, I've got to make a better ruling here on all these acrobatics and reflex. Here's how you do it. You don't want my help. Well the acrobatics is not because I already fall down. Yeah, you already fall down. We just throw a reflex at a penalty. I already fall down.

You see if I fall in the water, if I land on them. You fall into the... See, the problem is, is like, when you take... The acrobatics check is meant to be like, to hold your footing when you get hit. When you're unconscious, you just kind of fall. So I think I unnecessarily overpunished you. That's exactly what I said. Or something like this.

Because it's going to be hard enough when someone falls in unconscious. What I'm going to say is, you're dying too. You're unconscious. You're on that rock. Asta, I'm moving you back to the rock and keeping you unconscious on that rock. You wouldn't have made an acrobatics or a reflex save. You just fall on that rock and you're dying on the rock.

It's actually the best place for you to be. Yes. So... Now I see another little hubris thing coming at me. You just fall on that rock and you're dying on the rock. It's actually the best place for you to be yes So now I see another little hubris thing coming at me Maybe I'd rather drown. Yeah That's the problem having that thing right next to you. It can just keep Puncturing you until you go down Alright, so I had to move Asta before the giant snail thing and I will move Asta before the giant snail thing, and I will move Talitha before... Ah, I guess I'll go Talitha there.

Okay, give yourself the old dying condition. Here's the good news, it's Hubert Hedge's turn. Oi, looks like I'm gonna be a hero! Who wants to play Meme-inator? Oh no. You would be great, actually, Sidney. I'll play everybody. No, that I would love.

That would be amazing. I'm Hubert. You get to use the accent from the other characters inside of yours. I missed it so much. Wait, as players are we allowed to throw Hubert Hedge into the water ourselves? Yippee. Yippee. I'm higher level than you.

What? What? No, I'm not. I'm just terrible. I'm useless. The book even says I don't engage in combat Anyhow, you didn't know what a book is? Can I have a hug? No! Get over here. Oh, it's brother Ramias's turn. Brother Ramias you see boom Talitha go down Dag 2 if you know what that means and And you see Asta, boom, hit the deck, water, rushing over their bodies.

Just gonna put a hand on this slippery rock-covered analogy. Another hand, and he'll try to pull himself up. The rock. Does that require a check, or can I just pull myself up? No, I'm gonna say that's a... it requires an action. He pulls himself up on the rock soaked, and he looks and he just sees the two of you are down. And he sees this creature is,

he's behind this gigantic squid-like creature. Whoa, he is going to reach out and cast Heal on Asta. So two action, Heal on Asta, 12 points. Let's go. 12 hit points back. I'm back up and I'm so hurt. Am I wounded? Wounded one? Wounded one. Wounded one. Alright so you are wounded one and your katana is next to you. Yes. And you're primed. And that's your action. That's your- That's my turn. To action heal. Damn.

I will remove the dying condition. Or did you already do that? No, it's- Yeah, it's good. Okay. Uh, buh-buh-buh-buh. That was Brother Ramious? It's now Buggles' turn. Okay, Buggles. Like, try to elbow Hubert out of the way, getting quills stuck in his arms.

Move! Come on! And into the rushing rapids? Yeah. And he's trying to politely kind of nudge Hubert aside, but then his eyes, boom, flash blue. Oh no. And he looks at Hubert and just shouts at him in subtitle.

It's like, out of my way, lesser creature! I don't know what he's saying, but he seems upset. And I'm going to do a Frostbite on the snail. Okay. That is a Fortitude save. Fortitude save, Frostbite on the sail snail. Does he have good for it? Let's see that is going to be a 23. Okay, that is a basic save. So you take half. So you take three points of damage. Three points of damage. I get one point of temporary HP and

then I'm gonna do a a And then I'm gonna do a Psy Burst so I'm gonna be a reflex save reflex save as it tries to dodge your Psy That is gonna be a 20. Okay, excuse me 17. Oh, that is a fail. Okay. Ooh Reflex save that's the way to go. That is three more points of mental damage. Okay. Awesome. And that's all for me. Nice. Ha ha ha. Its head is just shaking up there.

And now it is Zephyr's turn. All right. It creeped up closer to me. I'm seeing my friends go down and the water is freaking me out. So I'm going to try to jump onto shore. And at the same time like Maybe taunt the snail because as much as I don't want to get hit if it hits me and I'm not in the water

That's better than hitting anyone on the rocks All right, so you're gonna use two actions to leap leap to get to the shore and then my final action Flurry of blows. Flurry of flows. Flurry of flows. Desperately need both of these to hit. Yes, got it. Come on. Come on, Kate.

Don't worry, Kate always rolls well under these circles. You know what they call me? What? What do they call me? What do they call you? What do they call me? They call you Action Kate. Action Kate.

Action Kate. Come on. I can't on! That's 12. Oh my god! Alright, second one though. First arrow! Pshwoom! It goes really far, but it does not come close. It goes so far. So this one is an 18, or no 17 to hit.

It's a mess. Cool. Come on. We're just following along at home, just joining us now. He is the only one that has a chance to kill this outside of Buggles. Not true. Were you, what kind of odds were you giving a TPK

in your head when you sat down to play as a server? You know, I figured I would take about three rounds to figure out what to do and then by then a couple of you would be then couple you'd be dead That's kind of as this looks like that's what's gonna happen here But it's top around three. It's a sister. She's lying on a rock and doesn't ever sort. Yeah, what do you do? Asta yeah, Ramius cast this Asta and just wakes back up used to dying now And she just looks around lying flat on her back

Like out of sorts sees her katana grabs it Can I from prone? Stab at that small shell creature In the next square sure okay, so she just takes her katana looks sees it on the rock, and just jabs her katana into it. Okay. Let's see. There's a penalty. Give yourself the pr- as long as you have the prone condition on there, it should affect your, uh...

Let me add it. Wounded and... Prone... Prone zone. Prone! Prone! Prone! You're in the prone zone!

Give you a minus two circumstance. Prone zone. Prone zone. Alright, yes. Get your attacks. Prone zone. Prone zoned Did your attacks. Prune zone. Um, it's probably not gonna hit. That's a 13. 13 misses. Ah! Too bad you're prone.

The one thing. Oh! You might have hit if you weren't prone. One thing we have to do, one thing we can do, roll well. We're not doing it. We never do it. We never do it. We should do that. We should just do that. It's an epidemic I don't we ever think of doing that. I had natural three natural four You roll you miss on your first attack. I did that's why I did the frostbite because it it's a save It's not an attack. Meanwhile, I've crit three times. Natural three natural three natural four What was that a natural five, six?

Seven. I'm going to now use my last to do my fox fire attack electricity range on the big snail, just with my tail just like whips out. Let's see. Man, oh man. Oh, oh, oh. 24.

Okay, that takes them with the map. And the penalty for being down. Pro. Oh man, oh man. Oh! Oh! Oh! Uh, 24. Okay, that takes them with the map. With the map and the penalty for being down. Prone. Oh, the map. Oh, sorry. It would be a cumulative minus 6. 19.

That's a mess. Why? So I want to make sure you get all the... Yeah. Alright, that's my turn. And I'm lying on the ground. So, 80-20 AC? Lying on the ground.

Hopefully. Lying on the ground, lying on the ground with a katana in hand. It is pretty big, so 20 minutes is pretty big. Bad reflex saves. Do you have spells that target reflex by any chance? Your spells are all going to be a spell attack roll. I'm gonna look. Yeah.

Talitha, I'm going to need a Jonski here. It is DC 12, death save. Got any caps? Fail. Natural 2. Do you Got any caps? Fail. Oh! Natural two. Oh! Do you have any caps? No.

So, Letha goes to dying three. How would you not have any caps? You play so well. You guys use them. You're so clever at the table. You guys all have caps. You put a lot of love into your character and into scenes. You use yours.

Did you use all yours? Yeah. Plus, per the rules, we get one every session. Well, we don't play by the rules. I don't understand. You don't play by the rules. We don't play by the rules we get one every session We're playing a gritty campaign skid it's a gritty remaster campaign We didn't great in your cheese who knew that it would be to letha fall this day It is the giant snail things I can't believe it's going it gets two turns around I can't believe it's going. It gets two turns around.

Oh, it's Brother T'Lethar taking a nap on that rock over there. Well, I guess, hey Zephyr, want a hug? Oh my god. Do your hugs have positive energy? All right, so first it's going to command the thing next to Asta to attack. So it moves up to you and does one attack

with its pseudo hot It's like a pod it's more of like a pseudo pod and it rolls a natural one That's good. That's good. Have a name it does not but it wasn't it wasn't natural one Like a fan yeah, give me a fan farm. I need all the help you can get here All right, this is in the melee sort of John's. Yep, little melee. Okay, this one from Easton in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Hey, we were just talking about Salt Lake City, Utah. Easton from Salt Lake City, Utah says, bottle cap? We were just talking about bottle caps. Whoever rolled the fumble gets one. Oh no. Okay. Due to an overzealous swing, misplaced foot, or just bad luck, you drop your lucky charm, which you've had this whole time but never mentioned until now. If the GM rolled the fumble, all players get a bit of luck. Oh wow. If a player rolled a fumble, the GM can choose a number of creatures.

Wow. Sorry, anyway, yeah, the GM rolled the fumble. So on your next attack roll, or next roll, you can roll twice and take the better. Nice, so we all get a pearl of great price. Awesome. Is bit of luck in Pathfinder 2E, or? Yep, you tilt the scales of luck, and you roll twice.

When you attempt a saving throw. So it's just for saves. Which is still useful where we are. For the reflex saves. That's an awesome one. Would you allow me to use it for my death roll? If you want to, I would roll that over for you. If you can sleep with yourself.

I'm not going to let you get tours in the mouth. I mean, if we get back to you and you have to roll the death roll, the least of your concerns is going to be that that's true because this is this would be perma death roll your next role Yep. All right, so I've used one action to command my little minion Second action permanently killed to letha not brother Ramies into the water I'm not I'm gonna go after Hubert. I could go I'm not I'm gonna go after Huber. I could go to Target or sure sure and he's got those spikes he looks dangerous if Zebra had him one benefit you could provide if he died

It would be so great. I'll just settle for him being that's the target of an attack I'll say if Zephyr had hit him he might have gone after Zephyr, but instead he's going to attack brother Ramias with hi bad Hot actually I don't know I didn't hit him He might have gone after Zephyr, but instead he's going to attack Brother Ramius with his... My bad. Actually, I don't know if I... I didn't hit him! All I've done is run in fear, soaking wet. Like the coward I am. Actually, I'm not sure if I have the reach from there. Because you are...

I am large and in charge. 15 feet. Yeah, I think it's... Only a 10-foot reach. Alright, so what I'm gonna do is I'm going to move towards Brother Ramius and kill him. Shit. This is bad. Yeah. Not our healer. You're also doing Talitha in too. That's the hard part.

Yeah. Yeah, this is really rough. Just kill two characters with one star. Buggles and Zephyr will have the option to come over there. Just a reminder, I'm getting strong flashbacks to the Lilypad room. Oh my god. Geography is the ultimate killer. Falling, drowning, and persistent bleed damage. Oh, he's having second thoughts because he knows it's over. Over. Over.

Just trying to think here. Because he's incapable of rolling under 70. Campaign three coming at you next week. Ah! Ah! Well, I'm just trying to decide here if I want to shoot one of these little chunks over to the shore to add a combatant over there,

or if I want to sweep you into the river. I mean, Buggles did do damage to you Hubert does look threatening Zephyr fired arrows at you probably should shoot one at Hubert. What would a snail do? What would a snail do? Yeah, let's check out its intelligence I just want to let the snail know that I I was sweating quite a bit in this hot jungle planet. My sweat is salty so Better be careful. Don't come come close she's very dehydrated very all right this is this is this is shitty I'm gonna do I'm gonna attack you

I like it I think that this is what this creature you undid it yeah I think less of you be a little little bit little soft soft I gotta come for you buddy I'm sorry all right I used the minion I did to do okay Well, it's really gonna change the actions of everyone else depending on what happens here We'll be a B Let's go. Can't even look I can't even look It's very high. It's very That's gonna be a crit. Oh, that's a 30 to hit that Is that a crit? Yeah, for sure. Okay. God, man. All right, so

Damage-wise again 30 points of bludgeoning damage. She's dying too. Dying too But you do not get swept into the river, which is clutch staying up Could have arguably more so he just Staying up. Could have arguably been worse. So he just... Yup. Drop whatever you're holding. And he's just laying there, face down, in the wet stone, bleeding out. It just basically smashed his body, like, into pieces.

Broken ribs. Broken back. So lucky. He's done. He's done. Dying two. Talitha, dying two. You'll be up two. Dying three, my friend. Excuse me, dying done. Dying two. Talitha. Dying two. You'll be up to three my friend. Excuse me. Dying three. Dying three. It is Hubert Hedges-trah. Oh no. Things don't look good, Boggles. What do you normally do in situations like this? Is there anything you can do to help your friends?

Are you do you have a Heely stick? Do not speak to me! I will kill you next! I forgot he was the Koola Khan. Boy. Foggles would never say that. Someone needs a Snickers. I'll kill you next. Keeper's Edge will hold. Weather Ramius goes before Giant Snail thing.

And now it goes to the Koola Khan. Okay. The Koola Khan is... Vroom! ...fiery aura. He is gonna try an ignition. He's gonna amp it. Bit of luck. All right.

It's only on saves. That's for saving. Yeah, sorry. Oh, oh, oh. Don't break the equipment. I'm gonna sell that pearl at great price. See, that's Utah, man. One guy in Salt Lake City got that joke.

Okay, that is a 24 to hit. 24 is a hit. Okay. Okay. This was important. Is this the one that allows you to heal one of your friends when you hit somebody? Yes, I can do that. That's four points of damage. Okay, a giant.

A Tuber at max. Do you want to get him up to max? Okay, and then... A little points of damage. Okay, a giant. Is Hubert at max? Do you want to get him up to max? Okay, and then. A little bit of help. Who needs the most healing? Skin my knee on a bramble. We're both down. Look, you can get me up.

I can get him. And then you. So, and then you feel Buggles reach out. It's just like, hey, Mias, please. And four points of healing. Ah! Oh! Oh! Okay. Amias, please and four points of healing

So you're just wounded wounded one, okay for H puzzle We're dead and prone and is that your turn No, you must have more in the chamber. That was it. Oh, it was two action Ignition and then you restore the mind. Oh, that's it. Actually restore the minus a part of it. Oh cool. was two action ignition and then restore the mind. Oh, that's it. The action to restore the mind is not part of it. Oh, cool. All right.

Zephyr. All right. Come on. Luria flows. Action cave. Luria blows. Action cave. She's ready.

Those first two were just practice arrows. Yeah. These are going to be the real ones. Zeroing in on the target. I'm going to use. Moving closer to the bull's eye. Our sponsor, Demiplane. And their online roller.

Oh, all right. Switching it up. So. Come on. Long bow. Oh wait, I did the wrong one. But you're ready to do this. Long bow.

Took the whole previous turn to correct. 10. Okay, next one, next one. Guys, we got this. Yeah. You took the whole previous turn to crack. 10. Okay, next one, next one. Guys, we got this. First one, practice. She practices a lot, you know? So she's like, pshh, no, it's fine. One of these days we're gonna get in a fight.

20 to hit, which we know does not hit. We know 20 doesn't hit? Yeah, someone just did 20 as their attack and it misses. Must be like 21. 21, 20 doesn't hit either. Yeah. 21, Tony doesn't hit it either. Yeah. Miss. 20 doesn't hit, so that's one action to do Flurry of Blows. Maybe if you were level three, it would be better.

That would be a 21 if you were level three. Can't hurt. Would that hit? All right. Before I possibly just take a third. I don't have that information. A third arrow action. Is there a knowledge check I can roll? You said nature.

Nature, arcana. I'll do nature since I'm trained in that. OK. Who cares what dice I roll? Does it matter? Oh, I don't know. Who knows? Kate, I feel like maybe you spent too much time around Joe.

Yeah. You just stopped hanging out with Joe. He's been rolling OK. Look, I sat next to you on a plane. Yeah. That was a good time on a plane once, ever since then. Ransford. Why you should never have fun.

All right, yeah, just last ditch effort trying to do one more arrow. Could roll a natural 20. It's a 10. Another round of practice. Five. For Zephyr. Five arrows. The hero. Zephyr the hero of the campaign. All I could keep thinking was a natural one brings up a fan fumble that's like hit your nearest ally and you kill. And it's fucking Hubert. Oh my god. And no one cares. That'd be great. Yeah, that would be a poor human. Because he's my nearest ally. Guys, submit more fumbles that have us kill NPCs.

Yes, please. That would be amazing. Now more than ever. You didn't understand a word the Coolacon said to you. That's true. I don't speak. Well, I think he got the vibe. His fire eyes.

Seemed quite angry. A lot of people talk to me that way. Not really someone people like. If we TPK, I want to play out every action of this thing killing you. Watch it happen. Never had a friend, besides Susan. Top of round four. It's Asta's turn.

Come on. Brother Ramius down but awake. Talitha, leading out on a rock. I mean the sad thing is I go before Brother Ramius. It is sad. So I will use the Bit of Luck. But if I roll poorly,

you never get to young. Wait. That's a real shame. Because you went down second so you move immediately before the creature. I thought it would be before you. And when you said it I thought, yeah. And then I looked and I'm like, oh no. I still gotta make my move. Well let's bring up Talitha then.

Asa, you have a chance. You could save Talitha or you could... How would I save Talitha? I don't know. Okay, I can't. Just let everyone know if Talitha or you could... How would I save Talitha? I don't know. Okay, I can't. Just let everyone know if Talitha dies it's your fault. No, I don't have the speed to get to her, I can't do anything to help her, and I have no healing spells. You don't have dimensional healing? Just do dimensional assault.

Should have taken dimensional. Already did that. Don't let them kill me. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, you're all making me feel bad. You always want to just do damage. For once, just heal your teammate. I asked you specifically to kill me if me feel bad. I always want to just do damage for once just heal your teammate I asked you specifically to kill me if things went bad You actually did you actually did I walk over and I stabbed Talitha. Okay to put her out of her miss You stab her but pour some healing potion on the blade. Oh, yeah, that's interesting

That's how I like to play. All right, I'm still prone, but I'm holding my katana. I am going to I'm again gonna stab the thing okay. I'm gonna take the penalty It's just I can't I'm so annoyed that I don't have like the action economy to stand up and do anything effective What should consider running? Well she has to stand up and do anything effective whatsoever. We should consider running. Well she has to stand up first. Yeah. I'm gonna stab this thing and we'll see what happens.

It's just one action. Attempt to stab while prone minus two circumstance pimples. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna hit it. It's gonna be a nat 20. Are you right next to it? Oh. Did you roll a natural one, Sydney? Sydney. Sydney Marie.

What could go wrong? She's just gonna try to hit it. The power of, oh my god. The power and the power. I mean. Guys, at least we are in this together. I don't think we're supposed to win this one. I actually think this is like a video game boss battle

that you're supposed to lose and then it cut scenes and our trainer's there in the gym and it's like you get better and then go back again. I think we're supposed to die. Remember that time I said we should consider running? No, I blacked out because I rolled a one. Oh my God, Sydney. Um.

Maybe I'll get a bottle cap out of it. Yeah, maybe I'll get something really cool. I'm so upset. You also would have to use one action to crawl closer to it to attack what you were Or a space away. No, I wasn't yeah, you were then I'm not attacking it then let's take it back No, she was adjacent to it. She attacked it adjacent to it. Oh you you attacked a little guy a little yeah Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Yeah, no great. Good luck with that. he's he's saying I thought you were going for the only relevant enemy in the exact it does not know She spent two turns missing the little guy. I said one. I've had one to two. This is your second time I'm missing a little guy

You fumbled on the little guy just read me the fumble. I'm gonna interpret this fumble all right Klein It's gonna be, Klein from Edina. In the worst way possible! I know, it's gonna be horrible. Klein from Edina. Cake eater. Hi, Edina. You. I do like cake. What did you say?

You find yourself embarrassed to be in the company of plebeians surrounding you. Worse yet, you miss so badly that your shame causes you to eat your feelings with a bit too much of a sweet dessert treat. You become sickened one. What? For one D6 rounds.

What? In the actual. You can use a single action to for one D6 rounds. What? In the actual. You can use a single action to retch. Five rounds. DC 20 to remove. Is this person from Minnesota? Yes. Cake-eater.

And that's not so bad. It's like the College of the Mighty Ducks. Yeah. You're sickened for five rounds. You're sickened one for five rounds. You can retch as an action. It's DC 20. I can't believe Talitha's gonna die this episode!

I can't either. Can I not, I can't. Does it take away any actions? Yeah, it doesn't take away actions. It just gives me a penalty. A further penalty, additional checks basically. Does it stack with prone? We still have luck.

Yeah, it's a status penalty, which stacks with prone. It would be a minus. Read a hit now. Yeah. You continue to attack. I was gonna attack for my second action. I was gonna attack the big guy. But you need to get up. But you can't.

You're still prone. I don't understand. I know. What goes on in your head? Sydney, you're still prone. No, I was gonna do a ranged attack. I was trying to just not get up and waste an action I was trying to get the most oh you were gonna catch the cantrip on yeah Yeah, I was just trying to get hits out mine as well. Yeah, I guess or at a minus at a minus two

I cannot Ocean dangling I'm going rushing it. I have to get up now I'm going to... Water rushing it. I have to get up now. Tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink-tink If I willingly jump off the rock into the river, I'll listen to the rest of the sentence Flowing downstream and there's a rock kind of blocking the way below if I jump in can I swim downstream with the current to get? To shore like it doesn't seem that wild interesting Well, here's swim downstream with the current to get to shore? Like it doesn't seem that wild. Interesting. Well, here's the problem.

I think you've used one action. You've got two actions left. So basically, I could see second action jumping in there. Third action, my distance. Well, the thing is, if you just jump in there and don't swim, it's going to push you down river X amount of feet. Which she wants to do. Which you want to do.

Then she wants to begin swimming to shore once she's passed. Is that your goal? Are you trying to get to Talitha or are you trying to get to shore? I am not going to Talitha. So you're not going to Talitha? She doesn't give a shit about Talitha. So you just want to get out of there so this thing doesn't kill you? Yes. I don't want the little thing to hit me again because I'm so low on hit points right now Like the little thing could potentially kill me on the rock again.

Alright, so here's what I'm gonna tell you It's the the the the water is rushing at a rate that will move you a Predetermined amount of feet if you do not attempt to swim against it So once you hit that water, I will move you that amount of feet. If you then want to swim further, you have to roll a swim check. So I either move with or against the current. How far do you think I can get jumping into the water? One square, like five feet? Or do you think I could like dive and get to a ten foot square?

Well, you can leap in the water up to ten feet. But you're prone. All you can do is roll off. Alright, I roll off the rock. I'm in the water. All right, so you roll, second action, roll into. Oh, you're trying to get to the other shoreline. Yes, I'm trying to get far from the creature so I can recalibrate and figure out what to do. That's not really feasible by the rules. Well, oh, you mean the other, the closer shoreline?

Yes. All right, so you. You mean the farther shoreline? Well, the farther one from us, like the one that we didn't originally. The shoreline not yet explored. Yes, you you roll into the water and you get swept ten feet downstream Awesome. I Am going to then use my other image just looks up

So funny to watch me from the shore on the rock and you just see me roll off the rock. Start like floating down the stream. I see you put yourself on the shore there. That's very nice. Now I know what you want to do. Yes, I want to swim diagonally. Give me a swim check. Here I go. What's the fox's swim?

It's athletics. Athletics. Probably. Here I go. What's the fox's swim? It's athletic. Okay. That's gonna be 16. Okay, I'm gonna say you can get to shore. Okay. So you swim to the shore. Down one more. Yep. And you're gonna remain prone on the shore. So you kind of like, you swim and you crawl onto the shore. Okay. Up to the shore. So you kind of like you're swimming, you're crawling onto the shore.

Up to the sand. And yeah, strategically on the map, I'm trying to hide from the creature, be in line with Brother Ramius, like still keep eye line on everybody. But yeah, I'm just like really hurt. That's my turn. Now I think that hindsight is 20-20, right? Yeah, we think we should retcon. There's a lot we can look at here, but I think it's fair to say,

I don't know if you would say this, but I've been pretty generous. You've been extremely generous. I think you've been extremely generous. That's what makes this all. What? No. There is not one fork in which he didn't take the most generous option.

If it were me, and I- He just happens to roll 20s every roll, that's not- I think he's being generous. He just happens to be playing in a campaign That is to his very every advantage. I think he's being generous because I think he read right before we started recording I think he read they should be level 4 and he went oops And then if I say that on air, I'm gonna look stupid pretty sure I rolled set on the on the crit 17 17 18 And then that 20 yeah, so I mean that's just brutal. If it were me, I would have made us roll the reflexes.

Yeah, I was thinking about it, and so like, there's a world where some of you are already being pushed, or drowned. In some sense, I wish I had rolled the reflexes. So one death here is, I think it's a big win for the party. It's just, it's just, it's just crushing. But why am I allowing this bit of luck? Why can't we just let him retcon and bring up Teletha?

We did not know, we thought we were in the order of initiative. It was a meta mistake. You know what I mean? Oh, I see. It makes every sense for Buggles to raise Talitha. She's right there. Right, so you didn't raise Talitha because...

We didn't do it because we were trying to be strategic about how we could get both of us up, but we misunderstood the rules where we were in initiative order. I think Matthew wants to roll a death roll. I don't want Talitha down there. I don't want her to retcon I don't want to recommend it. OK, I just want to throw it out there, because that's what happened. And I feel really bad about it.

But it was a mistake. I don't think it's sure. But remaining on the meta level, because. You know, this is my mistake anyway, because a Talitha is the only one that I could affect with my range. So I wouldn't have been able to do you anyway. Oh, so it's in 30 feet?

Yeah. Oh. All right. So Brother Ramius is dying too. Brother Ramius is dying too. This is worse because I could have saved Brother Ramius. Pfft. God damn it, Asta.

I'm fine with that. Like we always say, it's like, when you get to the point where our character is going to die That's when we slow down. Yeah, make sure do we get everything right all the book yeah, so I have four hit points Which character do we actually want to die yeah, that's more so exactly which character sells more merch so you're purely financial decision

face decision You're wounded, but you are you are no dying, you are prone and you don't have your gun. My crossbow. Whatever your weapon is. And you aren't wounded, you're just dying. Okay, I'm going to put my... Okay. Oh man.

This is a tricky decision. But I think actually Asta, and Asta had the only smart idea here, I will roll off the rock and into the water. First action. Okay. Wait, where are you gonna go though? You're in the middle of the river. And I can't swim very well.

What? Okay. Yeah, let's talk through swim rules real quick. First of all, you roll an athletics check. The DC is set by the GM. So far it seems like a very generous DC for a rushing rovers, so you should be able to get it. Or the book. Rules, boy.

And you can swim 10 feet on a success. Per access is probably more. You get a little more on a crit. If you're swimming with the current. Yeah, I'll swim with the current. I don't mind being far away from this, but. So I roll off the rock. I imagine I rush 10 feet along the current.

If you do not attempt to swim against it, which you wouldn't, then yes, you will go 10 feet down. Bye, Talitha. All right. I will now attempt to swim back towards the original shore. Back towards the original shore. Like with the current, but leaning westward gotcha Okay, give me a swim check

It's just brother amy is and I can manage to wake back up the natural 20 All right So now I will actually open the swim rules and see if what a crit gives you in terms of speed because you do Get a book. I believe you get a bonus you move through water increasing the maximum distance by five feet whoa so instead of 10 feet it's 15 feet 15 feet nice right great all right so you can make it to shore this yeah and you want to go sort of diagonally I'll let you I'm letting the current pull me die like I'm not fighting the current so I think right realistically I think I guess in the if it's all happening in six seconds

I'm just gonna move 15 feet towards the right. Okay, great. Towards the original shore. Well actually, let me just see where I'm closer. You are a little closer to the original shore. Yep, the original shore it is by five feet. There you go, boop. It takes you diagonally towards it. Still not out of the woods yet. Third action. Third action.

Ah, third action. Swim again. Fumble. Seven. Seven. All right. So all that happens is you just keep, you get swept another 10 feet down. Great. Okay. Getting further and further away.

And if you go off the map, talk about it. I left my crossbow behind. Crossbow. Did someone get my crossbow? Well, that's it. Very interesting, right? Because if the, if the goal here is to flee, that crossbow's out there.

Just something to think about. I know, right now my goal is to survive. To survive, right. I think that's a smart goal. Brother Ramius did not have that goal because he is dying too, and no one is there to save him. A fumble on this death save will kill him.

I didn't even think about that. I was like, haha. I didn't until I just started referring to it. You get to roll twice. We have luck, and do you have any bottle caps? Oh, I should have rolled, it doesn't matter, I rolled a natural 20. That would have been the better result. Yeah, and it's not a saving throw. I think, you know, it's tough because this guy's original thing he meant to say probably advantage or like.

Oh, he said bit of luck. Capital B, capital L. It's a 2-e spell. It only applies to saving for us. I'm allowing it for the death save because it has the word save in it. Okay. Nice. It doesn't, it's a recovery check. Just fuck it. I am going to take you under the table. Dude, there's every possibility you can die here.

Yeah. I know. But you'd have to roll two natural ones. Don't tempt him. Don't tempt him. Don't tempt him. That couldn't happen. Well, no, actually, a one... If you roll a one and a two, you just have to die. Because it is DC-12 to recover. DC-12, here we go.

Flat check to die this... Morbius. He did get smashed. His ribs are broken. His back is broken. I got a success. So, dying one. With a 12.

A 3. Tempting fate. Okay, dying one. Alright. Yes! That's huge. Huge. It is giant snail fixture. Thank you so much. Was that from Salt Lake City?

No, that was Cake Gator. That was from... Oh no, it was Salt Lake City. Thank you. Man, this is... this is nasty poo poo here. Three of you over there. Um... The Ramius is lying there. Unconscious... Yeah, unconscious could swim after telling you that.

I mean, he looks so dead. What's this thing? Controlled. That's not right. You don't have the controlled condition. Alright, so you're Wounded One swimming to shore. You're lying on the shore. You're unconscious and dying.

Quick morale check on the creature. Does it want to run in fear? It seems like it. It hasn't really taken a lot of damage per se as it were Nor has any of the little chunks of it Shapers and ships it is going to this is so Horrific here. Oh, I will say you did take one fork That was not generous and when you came down hit brother Ravus. That was smart tactics to win the fight.

Trying to play the intelligence of the creature while also putting up a good fight here. Alright so, let's see, check out my range here from the... We did the Luke Skywalker in Empire. Who? Oh, us, yeah the rolloff. It's great. It's a great move. You roll off a surface and you don't know what happens. Are they dead? Are they alive?

Yeah. Are they drowning? Roll around with the ones that get off the map. Who knows? Is there a waterfall off the map? Will the piranhas come to eat us? Who knows? That's what I was going to do when I was hanging onto that rock. Let go? Let go and go to the to do when I was hanging onto that rock. Let go? Let go and go to the shore.

Yeah. But then both of you went down. Yeah. And that would take me out of range. It's only 30 feet. So it's like, I gotta stay here and heal. All right, it is going to move towards Austin. Oh my god!

Get out of here! Get away from me! Dude, Troy hates it so much. Troy hates women. Troy hates women. Get away. Don't clip that. I love it.

I love it. That's my friends. I love them. That's my friends. You should have saved me and my family. That's my friends. Loved them all the time. Bring the suit of hard to the face!

Boo! Natural two. Ooh. Yep, that was a d20, so it's gonna be a miss. At least Troy's dice are up with him. Okay. He has one more action. That's huge.

It's gonna leave? The second action it leaves? No, it'll probably command one of its minions. Almost certainly. So embarrassed. It's got three minions, it's gonna be sitting some sitting on those they just kind of chilling on those rocks those rocks are dangerous slippery let me see what their speed is I wonder if those minions can like suck back on hate that hey um all right I'm gonna I'm gonna

take it with the map a second strike with the pod. Here we go. Friend of the pod. Friend of the pod. 23 to hit. Yeah. Why are you mad? I'm mad! Why are you mad? I swam away, I rolled off a rock and swam away to get on shore and it came to shore. 13 points of bludgeoning. I'm down. Jesus. And because

you were wounded you go to Dying 2. At least you're not in the water now. Dying 2. Thanks everybody. You're so right. At least you're dying you go to the water to This young drowned dying to thanks everybody You're so rich. You're dying on land. Thank you Wounded one takes you to dying Until the snail Consumes it am I still sickened yeah, okay, like five rounds you didn't you can't barf when you're rest of your known life Yeah, can't bar go barf when you're dying. Yeah, all right

No, no, it's Hubert's turn. Okay. Oi. Zephyr. Zephyr. This doesn't look too good. Where's Talitha going? I think she knows how to swim.

Do you know what swimming is? Sure. You get in the runny bits. Get in the runny bits. And do a dance. Hubert, get in the runny bits. Runny drips. Oh no, mother always said never step in red runny bits. Get in the runny bits. And do a dance. Hubert, get in the runny bits. Runny drips. Oh no, mother always said never step in red runny drips.

Never forgot the her saying that. Never do it. She was odd. Red runny drips. Stay away from the red runny drips, you never know. Mother walked in on her in the bathroom. The red runny drips? Yeah. Hubert, shut up. No, you're gross. The red runny drips? Yeah.

You burn. Shut up. No. You're gross. That's not what I'm talking about. That's my turn. That's my turn. That's my turn.

That's my turn. That's my turn. That's my turn. That's my turn. That's my turn. That's my turn. That's my turn. That's my turn.

That's my turn. That's my turn. That's my turn. That's my turn. That's my turn. That's! Yeah. Buggles is stupefied. Oh. Oh no. Hula Khan vacates. Ugh.

He's dead. He's like, ugh. Too soon. And with what senses he has, he's going to try to do a... God. I'm gonna try to do an ignition on the snail. Okay.

Do my flat check. The range now is crazy. Nade it. 65 feet away. 60 feet. Uh, that is a 21 to hit. That is a hit. Okay.

Okay, 21 is its AC. That's right. Okay. That means we have to roll higher than 21. Yeah, easy. That's the catch. Now that I we have to roll higher than 21. Yeah, easy. That's the catch. Now that I know what it is, I can just do that.

Do it. If I don't know what it is, I just do whatever. Action K, action K, daddy 14, let's go. Six points of fire damage. Oy. And with my third action, I'm going to try to use Mage Hand to pick up Talitha's crossbow.

Oh! Nice. Nice. Made it. So a hand appears right above the crossbow and just grasps it. Lifts it up out of the water. Okay. Nice. It is Zephyr's turn.

Range good? Yeah, so speaking of range, it's now outside of the first half of my first range increment. So I'm gonna use an action to dismiss, get out of my Nastic Archer stance so I don't take a penalty because I can use every point I can get. What is that action? What is it technically called? It's with the remaster. Yeah, just dismissing. So rather than needing to break a rule and drop my bow or stow it,

I can just use an action to get out of the stance. So she, I don't know, wiggles. That's what it is. Gotta get out of the stance. Regular old shot with the long bow. Let's go. Regular old shot. That's a 12. What's your bonus? Minus 2?

Plus 8. It's plus 8? Yes. I thought it was plus 7 this whole time. That would have been respectable for somebody. Plus eight. Highest bonus in the show. Your dice are in a Call of Cthulhu mode.

Yeah, right. I do pretty well in Call of Cthulhu. Yeah, right, exactly. Roll low. Oh, shut up. All right, I'm sure you'll hit it with the map. Second one, let's roll some regular dice. That's not a regular dice, that's a boulder.

That's a miss, but it's better. So, it's still a miss. Good, good. All right, so that's two actions. When I play roulette, I'm glad when the number next to mine hits. Oh, that's three actions. Close.

Because I used an action to get out of the stance. All right, so she's just, you know, throwing, she's continuing to practice. Feel free to jump in the river. Seems to be popular nowadays. Yeah, she might, she might throw herself in the river next round. Asta, get back in the river.

Highly recommend the river. It's bad on land, apparently. It's round five! And Asta, I moved you in the initiative order. You now will roll your death save right before giant snail thing, which gives Talitha and Brother Ramius a chance to raise you, but Brother Ramius is still unconscious. Talitha you're swimming.

Swimming is a generous word for what Talitha is doing. Wailing around in the current. Trying to grab for sure. Alright I will attempt to swim to shore once more. Okay first action. Swim check. On a natural 20 and then it just... fail. Boop. Boop you go 10 tipped off. Fail. Boop. Boop, you go 10. 10 feet further down.

Second. And from this angle, now that you're standing there, you notice around the bend of the river, the river starts to turn and there's a waterfall. I called it. I called it. When did you call it? I said, off the map, there's going to be a waterfall.

I said it. She said it. Look, right where I'm pinging there. Princess, roll that clip back. Next, second action swim will be a 16. 16, it. She said it. Look, right where I'm pinging there. Princess, roll that clip back. Next, second action swim will be a 16. 16, all right, so you, oh, oh, you get a little bit closer. It's getting wide again. Did you take the multiple swim penalty?

Yeah. You didn't take the MSP? Okay. Third action, 12. The MSP. 12, okay, so, blonk, Blonk, you go down another 10 feet. And you see that as you go further down, the shore is getting further and further away from you. Yeah, dude, it's so dangerous. Rivers are so dangerous to be caught in without...

Oh, man. Your turn. That is Talitha's turn. It is now Brother Ramius's turn. Brother Ramius, you are dying one after your success. Let's go, Norse Foundry. You no longer have luck. So much. Let's be honest, you never did.

Because you're you. Yeah, but Brother Ramius is not me. He is protected by the Keeper in all things. He's going to stabilize right now. Brother Ramius! Here's a voice. Good luck. No. That hear a voice. Moo moo moo moo. Good luck. Moo.

That is a fail. Dying two. Oh god. You heard Huber and you're going towards the light. Yeah, exactly. He chose to go towards the light. You hear Huber's voice drove him closer to death. Speaking of death, it's Asta's turn.

Asta is at dying dose. Yeah. Thanks to the wounded condition. A critical failure here would permanently kill you. So a one or a two. Or a two. My god, same as last time. I keep forgetting this is part of the game.

I have PTSD, because I thought I was gonna be fine last time. I just rolled. Yeah, there's 18 other numbers you can roll. I just rolled all of my d20s and I got under 10 on all of them. So I'm just gonna go for it. 18. Oh, there you go, okay.

All right, so you move to dying one. Dying one. Which is amazing. She's got a lot of heart. Yeah. A lot of soul. I want to live four. Yeah. Unlike Lucky. Unlike Lucky. This is temps who sucked dead inside fuck

All right snail The snails turn. Oh Why was I so worried? Kill me. Yeah, but you're maybe you look at it. It's a board. It's gonna go in the water Yeah, disappear for a while two bodies there. Let's go make some more bodies. Ha! It's come over there and shoots one of its chunks at Zephyr. Here's a Zephyr chunk.

Is there no limit to its chunks? There's gotta be a limit to the chunks. There's a limit to your chunk. All right. This, love that song. Francis really likes that song. James Blake's song. Uh, 19 to hit.

Miss. Miss. Oh! Dodge it, dodge it. If there's one thing I can do, it's not get hit. So here's what happens, the chunk does not hit you for damage, however it still appears in the space next to you. It just like hits the rock and just...

Hello. Hello there. No, not another one. Oh I'm here to slow to kill you. It just like hits the rock and just BLOMP! Hello! Hello there! No, not another one. Oh I'm here to slowly kill you! So now there's four of these chunks laying on the floor. Oh look, it's Jason Hubert. Yeah, baby Hubert.

Oh look at you! What's your name little fella? And that was three actions. Move, move, toss that shit. Hubert says, Oi, look at you. What should I do there, buggers? Kick it into the water. Wait, maybe I could swing my tail at it. And he just goes, boom, and swings his tail

and hits it for a 26 and kills it. Wow. All right, Hubert. Hubert, this whole time. Boy, this whole time, it's been one hit. They all have one hit point. Look at me! I couldn't hit it.

It had one hit point. Two attacks. Why couldn't Brother Asta do that with Katana? She struck at it multiple times and then decided to roll into the river! This whole time I wanted him to help and he did and now it's like, now I'm mad. Now we're never gonna hear the end of this. It's just to show us up. That's the only reason he did anything. I just swung my bushy at him.

Killed him in one spot. He's been the most helpful so far. Yep. One spot. Swung my bushy. He's the only one to kill anyone. Yep. Yep.

Look at old Hubert Edge! I'm an adventurer now! Oh! I think I just leveled up. Buggles turn! Hubert Edge just made level four what the Bugles is gonna spend an action so with the mage hand it was able to move the bow crossbow 20 feet closer to him So he grabs It's nice to grab the crossbow. Okay, it's the last two actions something to remember me by yeah, it's like

Delay the Delay the and It's the last two actions. Something to remember me by. Yeah. It's like, it's like, Deletha! Deletha! And he is gonna try another, try another ignition. Okay. Okay. Okay. Flat check. No.

No, no, no, I got a natural 20. Oh, no flat check. Of course, of course. This always happens. Now. First. Oh, of course of course this always happens Just can't hit anything It is Zephyrs turn Zephyr endr, end of round five. There are little things everywhere. Zephyr! Just doing all I did. Hit him with your b-

I don't have a tail, so... I guess you have to have a tail to make a hit. What's that word you keep bending about? If you kill it now, you might have a chance to recover my body at the bottom of the waterfall. Did Hubert not know what a tail was? What's that? Okay. Oh, Jesus. Read this waterfall. How many feet are we charging?

Oh. Uh. We're going to like Angel Falls? How many feet is it away? Niagara. How can you possibly see? You can't see over the edge. You just see the world drops off.

It might just be five feet. You've never been more sure. And then the river continues. I hope it's five feet. The world is flat. Oh. Is that Hubert talking or is that? No.

Okay. In that moment, Talitha's never been more sure that the world is flat. Talitha's so smart too, so I believe her. And I don't know what the word tail is. Um, alright, now that the snail- Oh, got runny drips all over my bushy. Um. Do you have anything else to say, Hubert? Sorry? Are you okay over there? I have to dry that later. You pushy.

All right, come on, you got this. Now that the snail's closer to me, she's going to hunker down and get back in monastic archer stance. Yeah, there you go. Let's try to hit the thing again. Why did you get out of it? Because in monastic archer stance,

I need to be within the first half of my first range increment with my bow, which is why I use a long bow, because I have a bigger range than I would with a short bow. So it was 65 feet away, it's between 30 and 50 feet it needs to be first action back in the stance 20 and 50 feet sorry I measured I measured is 25 yeah so back in the stance here we go you got this flurry

of flows just scroll down here Oh, you know let's just do or a new one do this days The mystical Kate die don't tell them that only if I roll good then be like it was the Kate died I can't believe this I mean, I mean this is we've had some really truly people are gonna die I just I can't believe this. I mean, we've had some really truly epic. People are gonna die because. I just, I'm not having fun. Yeah, I don't blame you at all.

She was the most positive out of everyone. And I rolled a natural one. Oh my God! No. Kate! Kate! Kate says, you can get them on tour. For all your natural one.

For all your. It's, you realize, it's officially unprecedented. Statistically. And the. And the. That is eight consecutive misses. Eight consecutive. You're counting? I counted.

Oh, Jesus Christ. It is a statistical anomaly. Yeah, I guess so. So it is definitely bad luck. What do you have to roll to hit? Well, you'd have to roll a 13. I have to roll a 13. 13 to hit.

Eight consecutive can't get over 13. Well, I mean, I got over 13 all 13. 13 to hit. Eight consecutive, can't get over 13. Well, I mean, I got over 13 on my second hit, right, you know? Which just needs to be a higher map. Right, yeah, that's true. Okay, this one from Tom in Madison, Wisconsin. Oh, Madison. Hello, Tom.

Should have cashed out. I think she would have if she didn't trans, like travel through space and time, doesn't know where she is. Is this your first attack? Yeah. Oh thank God. Oh.

Should have cashed out. Oh this is great, now I get it. Your attack misses your target and you take damage equal to this attack's map. Should have cashed out, like you should not have taken that attack. Oh. But you're fine, so that attack. Oh. No, but you're fine. So no damage. No.

Yeah. Wow. First attack. So if you took it as your third act, I can get natural 20. And you get natural one, you pull that 10 points. Yeah. Because I've been doing that.

I've been like, fuck it. That's a really fun one. Wow. Just roll one. That's good fumble. Thanks mom. Should have cashed out. Y'all been there.

All right. That was fun because it didn't do anything. Second attack. All right. Second attack. Y'all been there. All right. That was fun, because it didn't do anything. Second attack. All right, second attack. For you or the creature. Kate Dice, you get a natural one. But then.

When it doesn't matter. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it did matter. Well. Things are going to kill off. It's over. Oh, this is going to hit.

What? What? This is going to hit. To 21. Yeah. With the map? Yeah. That's a hit. 18. Yeah. No. With the map? Yeah. That's a hit.

18. 18 plus 3. 18 plus 3. Let the cake be cake. What do I do when I hit? I roll damage. Action cake. What do I do when I hit?

Action cake. Action cake. What do you guys do when you hit? You will damage? Do the damage. The most damage. OK, now I roll the damage. Wow.

Streak is over. Three points of damage. Yay. What is happening? Stop damage. Wow. Streak is over. Three points of damage. All right. Yay. Stop it. Stop it. Yay. Take your steps. This is completely unmodified.

So she hits it finally, side eyes to Hubert being like, see? You are great. So that's two actions, or no wait, I got back into monastic archer stance, which is one. Did fill your blows, another action. Um. Blow again? Yeah, I'm just gonna go again. Can you blow again? Can you flurry a blow again? No, I can only do it, it has the, it has a

trait, what is it, flourish trait, so you can only do it once. Flourish around. Around. So yeah, just gonna try this again. Nope. Okay. It's okay, you hit. It's okay. One of them hit. Breaking the curse. At least it was a short turn. Ha ha ha ha.

Now goes to Talitha, who sees the rapids up ahead. I don't know what that is. You're getting pulled towards the rapids, so every failure now will pull you diagonally in that direction. All right, here we go okay 11 you have a negative one to swim yes oh what why did you jump in the water I was gonna die otherwise okay so this is off the map now for a little it is off the map she's off the map can you see

yourself now? Yeah. I was gonna say, that would be terrifying. All right, second swim. Oh my God. Natural three. What? It's so... Third attempt to swim.

Oh my God. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what's the penalty for a critical? Wait, don't you get a save for one of these? Or no, it's not a save? Oh, you go under the water and you have to hold your breath. Is that what it, did you critically?

Oh, you didn't critically fail, right? Yeah. What'd you roll? Two. Oh. If you're holding your breath, you lose one round of air. You're not holding your breath. Oh, okay. Ah, okay, okay.

You make no progress as a critical player. Yeah, yeah. All right, I think I have to turn and swim upstream now. Ah, okay. Oh. Because I, So the check will be harder. I don't wanna go down the waterfall.

You'll travel less distance. Yeah, probably. Because you're swimming against the current. Yeah, I. I don't wanna go down the waterfall. You'll travel less distance. Yeah, probably. Because you're swimming against the current. I mean, don't stress too much about that. It just allows you to kind of control which direction you're going. Right now you're being pulled towards back towards the middle of the map.

And I will tell you the edge of the map is the falls. What? I'm off the edge of the map. No, I'm gonna like the edge to the right. Oh, I see. Like essentially. I wanna, so I wanna, whatever is, oh, the waterfall's on the eastern corner. Yeah, you'm gonna like the edge to the right. Oh, I see like essentially I want to so I want to whatever is You know the waterfalls are the on the eastern corner. Yeah, you know well, then I'll continue to swim west okay, or try to

And that's a natural three God So off the map you know it is kind of incredible like how bad we rolled that we're all still alive and like that's still going. Speaking volumes. Yeah to our credit. Yeah our credit we're still alive. So in that sense maybe we're doing pretty good. I don't want to say best party ever. Don't take it on the party just take it on our ability to roll dice. Yeah the dice rolling is quite bad. It's real bad. It's real real bad I don't know if you've ever had this experience, right?

At casinos, I know what it's like brother Ramious you're dying too. Oh, we're back. Yeah You're unconscious on a rock. My heart's pounding. We're down to the one die If I had all had every dying character fall into the water, you'd all be dead Okay One die. If I had every dying character fall into the water, you'd all be dead. Okay. We could have made our saves. Not the way we're rolling right now, but. One die. To rule them all.

To rule them all. All right, here we go. Just natural one, natural two. Wait, but do you have bit of luck? No, he used it. You used it already. Yeah. I used it. Oh, I forgot, they're but do you have bit of luck? No, he used it. He used it already. Yeah. I used it.

Oh, I forgot, there's still, it's going down the barrel of permadeath. Natural one, natural two, brother Amias permanently dies. Okay. Come on, buddy. Fail. Dying three.

Dying. Three. We make it fun though, right? Yeah, it's fun. Like it's a whiplash of like, wait, who's gonna die now? Yeah. Yeah. Wait, now it's gonna be your character?

Every round somebody else is gonna die. Oh wait, now you're up and you're gonna die? This is a soap opera where every single turn someone else is in the hospital. Like we're always in the hospital for some reason. It's general hospital. It's general hospital. Like we're always in the hospital for some reason. General hospital. It's general hospital. Oh yeah.

You need, you need healing. It's too risky now because now it's DC 13. There is no way to be healed. Yes there is, there's one way. Bugle, Buggles. Too far. Oh you are too far. Yeah.

As is Asta. Buggles would have to start leaping across. Well let's see what happens. It is Asta's turn. Asta, you are dying one. Yeah. If I want to use the bit of luck, do I have to announce it before I roll die?

Or can I roll and then be like, oh, really bad roll, I wanna use bit of luck? Use it, you can pre-announce. Okay. I think I'm gonna hold. Use it. You think I should just use it? Yeah, because if you fail, you're undying too,

but if you succeed, you're stable. Okay. Okay, I'll use it. I'm gonna use Bit of Luck, I'm gonna roll twice. Thank goodness I did, that was a two. Ooh, so here we go again. 18. Okay.

You are. Stable. Stable and wounded too. And wounded too. And I am Unconscious I don't pop back up to one wait. I'm sorry. I thought you were dying too. No. No, I'm dying one now Yeah, she was dying to she passed last time to go you passed last Yep, great. So now you've passed down a critical hit on you at this juncture will permanently kill you now that you're wounded Am I awake you are awake? Okay?

No, no, you're wounded too. Am I awake? You are awake. Okay. No. No. I am unconscious. You're unconscious and stable. Oh, is that what it is? Oh, you don't get out. Okay. I'm really in a bad spot.

I wish I died. At least the snail isn't near you now. You're also sickened. And I'm sickened. Okay. It is the giant snail thing's turn. I'm so upset. My god.

This is fucking nasty, this thing. Alright, let's get these people on shore here. Let's move a little bit closer. Just move a little closer, right up to Zephyr. Move a little bit closer. Oh my god, a snail. Alright. Who's this now? Zephyr? Zephyr. Move a little bit closer. Oh my god, a snail. Who's this now? Zephyr? I can't see because I'm dying.

Oh, I was like, what do you mean? I can no longer see anyone on the map now that I'm off the map. Yeah, he took you off the map. It's amazing. It's kind of... Very jarring. Alright, Sudapod. Could we get a Order the Amber Die-style status on the snail as far as its health? How does that work? It's either...

Bloodied or... Yeah, is it hurt or... because we know it's hurt. Hurt means it's taken any damage or near death. It means it's within one reasonable hit of any of us. It still looks pretty strong. We like really didn't do much to it. You're the only one to have hit it at all. You guys have been hitting it for like three, two, three damage. Here and there.

Because we're second level. Um... Pseudopod on Pseudoelf. Ha! Good. That's good. It's true. 28 to hit. Regular success. Regular hit. Just a plain old hit.

Okay. 11 points of bludgeoning damage. Alright. It has one action left. It will move up to be able to attack both you and Hubert Hedge. And it is Hubert Hedge's turn. Oi! This doesn't look good. I don't like this. Hit it.

Seeing this up close. He keeps a remarkably calm demeanor. Not as cute as I thought he was! Alright Hubert, this is your time to shine. I'm starting to get the feeling. I don't care for old Hubert. This happened from time to time with Susan. She'd give me a funny look. Now and then, we wouldn't talk for a few days.

I'm starting to feel the same way. She'd give me a funny look. Now and then, we wouldn't talk for a few days. Starting to feel the same way. Gotta prove my worth here as well. All right, Brother Remus. Let's see what old Ubed Edge can do. Pardon me, what? And he leaps over to the rock. And then he leaps again to this rock

and moves to the edge And has no way of helping you That's amazing. I was like if he pulls out a healing spell I'm gonna flip it out. He reaches out. Oh I'm just doing what you did This is what it looked like they're working And it's Buggles' turn. Okay, Buggles. Aura reappears.

And the K'uulakan gets a bearing on the situation and tries to ignite the, I guess. I mean... You have no ranged healing, right? It just comes out when you... I do... I can restore the mind when my psyche is unleashed, but it's only within 30 feet. And unleashing the psyche is an action? Yeah. All right, so it's not like you can move. Well, no.

Unleashing the psyche is not an action, but storing the mind is an action. Okay, because I'm trying to think, like, if you moved within 30 feet and then ignition, then could you- Then he's out of action. Because ignitions is two actions. Right.

Yeah. I'm gaming it for you. Yeah. Could Zephyr get some health back though? Uh, for sure. That was my plan. Uh, okay. So, Ignition...

Uh... Yeah, 20. Damn it! I just rolled a net 20. Okay. And... 20. Yeah, I mean, we have to lower these things... ...ACs. You should trip it.

Trip the snail in the water? Why not? I mean now that it's next to me maybe. She'd have to roll. We know it has a crappy reflex. Excuse me. A snail. Excuse me, I'm gonna trip the snail. Okay. Okay. And you got four hit points back. It might be immune to prone.

It's a snail. Yeah Yeah, and a man it had like it's not a true snail. Oh, you're right. Oh, that's right. It had like centipede legs. Yeah. Oh boy man This is rough. Yeah It's Zephyr's turn Zephyr you're right next to this thing brother Ramius is I mean the odds of you dying now Are so insanely high. Yes.

The odds of him not dying are very low. It's my turn? Yeah. Whoa, I feel like that was really fast. Everyone's dying. I know. No one's able to attack. Not suddenly, it's my turn again.

Not much to do. Speaking of trip, since I'm next to it, and I'm just looking at Manasic Archer stance right now, when I'm in this stance, the only strikes I can make are with my long bows. Or sharp bow. Whatever. So I would like to, before I take a few steps back, try to trip it using one action. They might have been kidding.

We were. I think that was a joke. Because this is not the time for jokes, Joe. That's true. I don't know. I wasn't joking. I don't think he's joking either. I think it has a joke. Because... This is not the time for jokes, Joe. That's true. I don't know, I wasn't joking. I don't think he's joking either. I think it has a little reflex save. It is on legs.

And can it be trippable? It's kind of unsure. I mean... The only thing with trip is that if the target can't be more than one size larger than me. And this looks big, but not more than one size larger. It's large, right? It's one size larger than me. And this looks big, but not more than one size larger. It's large, right? It's one size larger.

Yeah. So it's not more. I also think you probably can't do it in monastic archer stance. Why? Because it is an attack. The only strikes, capital S strikes I can make. Yeah, I know.

That's true. Yeah. Okay, fine, I won't trip it I'll just move I just I don't know own action with the attack tree yeah I don't know if it gets I remember in one II there were bonuses for like creatures that have multiple legs like more than two legs but I don't see that in here anywhere at least in the summary it may be like by the by the rules it would work I mean yeah I don't know no you're doing is I mean trip is the name of the action but in this case

You're just trying to knock it over and you have no way you have no healing You know an arrow that can hit someone and heal That would be wild no if I can't trip even if I could I was just going to Try to move 25 feet away and then try to hit it again. Or I guess it's in front of me. I'm just gonna try to use my fists. I don't know.

Can I trip? No? Yeah, if you want to. Yeah, I wanna try to trip it. Okay. Gotta foul up its legs. So it makes a reflex. You make an athletics check against its reflex.

DC. DC. 17. But in your defense, it was a really bad idea. That you didn't have. That's the last time I'm taking ideas from you Joe. I just threw it out there, I don't know. You can't trip a large creature, you should have known that. Also, we're saying we don't have any...

You certainly can't trip a large creature. But like the odds are so stacked against you. Creature you should have known that also we're saying we don't have any you certainly Like the odds are so stacked against you also we also knew it had a bad reflexive. Yeah It's taking advantage of it. Just think you're one likes to picture the reality of the situation like Alright, you son of a bitch like trying to try this thing with 40 legs Well, you don't like the reality of the situation you just go buy the book. I do like based on the numbers It's probably easier to trip it than to hit it. What is your athletics bonus? Plus seven. Yeah, it's crazy.

It's a crazy idea. Before we forget about things that we have though, we have fruits of the sapling rod that we planted back in the Thinlands. We have a means of healing, somewhat. If we can get through them together. Who has the fruits? You have to eat them, like, yeah. I know that.

Shoot it into his mouth. But like, if I have, if Asa, like if somebody feeds me one, you know, I'm just thinking out loud. Like, we don't have healing potions, but we do have- I understand. I don't understand how you can eat when you're unconscious. You have to lethal like 17 rounds and she can swim back to your side of the shore. Liquify it and then inject it with the fruit.

I was just asking, who has the fruits? Chew it't spit it into your mouth. I think I have some fruit But I'm not interested in eating any right now, okay? Zebra moved 25 feet down the coast that she's on So now she's 30 feet away from snail boy, okay, and she's going to while still in monastic archer stance Let's do the blurrier flows again. Yeah Okay She's going to, while still in monastic archer stance, let's do the Blurry of Flows again. Yeah. Do it. Let's just do it. Okay. Okay. Blurry of Flows.

Do you want one of my dice? Do you want one of my dice? Do you want me to touch your dice? Try something different. Pick one. Just have, we're all here to have fun. You want the baby one? I'm gonna use the tiny, unreadable one.

Yes. All right, here we go. 19. 19. 19. 19 for the first one. Second. Second hit, as Sydney would say. 15.

What's funny to me is you would look at the die and then squint at your screen. I don't know why, it just like goes with it. I gotta squint. Those are good rolls. Those were good rolls. It doesn't matter. It wouldn't have hit it even goes with it. I gotta squint. Those are good rules. Those were good rules. It wouldn't have hit it even if it was tripped. Yeah.

So that's her turn. She tried to trip, she moved and still practicing. Let me just zoom the map out here for the top of round seven. As Talitha. Okay. First swim attempt. Okay. Ah. First swim attempt. 16.

Okay. Where do you wanna move? Back towards the western shore. Directly west. Directly west. Okay. Can we not see her on the map? Yeah, I feel like we can't see her now.

I guess not. Why don't you move to the eastern shore? It's amazing, because that's the waterfall. You guys can't think, Talitha's gone. Yeah, maybe like the waves. Wait, can the audience see? I can see me, so if you're me. Can you see the waterfall?

The audience can see, I see the audience. On black space? On black space. Audience map area. Okay, second attempt to swim. Natural six, five. Okay, so. I think we all need a break.

We need to take a breather. Couple weeks in Key West. Yeah. Come back, finish this episode. Yeah, I like that idea. Natural 16 on the third one. Okay. Okay. This is good.

And you swim closer. Okay. Oh my god, how far are you now? Okay. I'm about, oh, 20 feet. No. No. Oh, jeez. 10 feet from the shore, right? Okay, okay.

So, 10, 15 feet. Okay, that's doable. 10, 15 feet, 15 maybe? Oh, 20 feet. Oh, no. Oh, geez. 10 feet from the shore, right? Okay, okay. Okay, that's doable. 15 feet, 15 maybe? Oh, man. Now goes to the Brotheramius. How far are they from the waterfall? Brotheramius, let's just take in the scene here. Now you're dying, you're dreaming. Talitha is being swept down shore towards a waterfall.

Struggling this past round is able to get Talitha is being swept down shore towards a waterfall. Struggling this past round is able to get slightly closer to possible safety, but is alone with no help. Although Zephyr is kind of making her way down there. You're about maybe 50 feet away or so. You could in a round get close enough to Talitha to maybe aid her if she got close. But this creature is still so very much alive and any damage that's taken from you guys has been abysmal.

Buggles is now by himself. And it's just, you know, it's just not popping for Buggles because he's the only one that can is doing any damage. Then you got Hubert Hedge. God bless him. He's trying to get out there to do something. But now he's right next to one of these little amoeba chunks. Asta just woke up but is on the shore

and will only get a chance to do something after Brother Ramious. She's unconscious. No, she's, oh, she's unconscious. Yeah, I'm okay, I'm just asleep. Which die are you using? I'm gonna use the Joe die. Let me see it. It's sitting on natural 20 right now. Yeah. I'm okay, I'm just asleep. Which die are you using? I'm gonna use the Joe die. Let me see it.

It's sitting on natural 20 right now. Okay. All right. Hold it up to the light. There it is. Beautiful. And get ready to roll it. No.

In just one week. No! You son of a bitch! You can't! You can't do that! Not to me and not to this audience! I think we only have time to make backup jokes. Key West, here we come!

I'm bringing my team back! Key West! Woo! Big break! Make a backup character! Oh, on the plane there. It's time to make your membership official. Become an official member of the Naish today at JoinTheNaish.com.

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