The Glass Cannon Podcast - Gatewalkers Episode 38 – The NeverEnding Quarry

Episode Date: June 7, 2024

The party learns more about their new companion while trying to save his life. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/mZtIyzcGyJQ This episode was sponsored by Demiplane, Foundry VTT and Norse Foundry. Check out Demiplane's Pathfinder Nexus and character creation tools at https://bit.ly/GCNOfficialTools See why tabletop gamers everywhere have made the switch to Foundry Virtual Tabletop at https://foundryvtt.com/gcp If you want to take the next step in improving your health, go to https://lumen.me/GCP to get 15% off your Lumen. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/GCN and get 10% off on your way to being your best self. Head to https://tryfum.com/GCN and use code GCN to get a free gift with your Journey Pack! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for hundreds of hours of exclusive shows and benefits, make your membership official and join Glass Cannon Nation today by becoming a subscriber at jointhenaish.com. Watch new episodes when they premiere every Thursday at 8PM ET on youtube.com/theglasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's behind the Dairy Farmers of Canada Blue Cow logo on your favorite dairy products? It's high Canadian standards, which means we meet 42 food safety requirements. We work with animal care experts and work towards a sustainable future. That's dairy farming forward. You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Last week on the Glass Cannon podcast. Theomachus Barnes. That's a good name.

You've survived out here for months. How long have you been here? How are you from this place? I'm a teacher, an avicent. I walk through a gate, I don't know where we are. Show us your neck. You all too, huh? He turns his neck and shows you the Gatewalker tattoo.

Please, join us. I assume you've seen the funicular at the end of the pyramid? Yes. Yes, that's where we were headed. None of you notice some things crawling out of the bush. There's something approaching. Keep it, protect us.

And he is going to cast Bless. Asta is going to spell strike. There it is. 29. That's a crit. You annihilate. And all of a sudden, an exact copy of Barnes appears 15 feet away.

A copy of Barnes appears? I'm going to run up and take a melee attack. Let's go. And I reappear and just stab Natty19. Oh! You're so awkward. That is a crat. Oh yeah. The body of the lizard cat slumps over Barnes' body and bleeds out.

The adventure continues... ...now. I'm a Hey, what's going on everybody? Welcome back to the Glass Cannon Podcast. It's June now. It's June 6th. You're watching this live. Whoa. Speaking of Saving Private Ryan.

Oh yeah. It's D-Day. Normandy. Oh. Yeah. We're having a discussion about Saving Private Ryan. Oh yeah. It's D-Day. Normandy. Yeah, we were having a discussion about Saving Private Ryan that we can't share. We can't share. It's not important, doesn't matter,

but we were talking about it. It's not pertinent. The important thing is that we remember our veterans. And you should try and get in the studio before we start recording. Yeah, it's really fun. It's hilarious. A lot.

Remember that idea you had to record us before we were? We have to delete that one. Glad we didn't do that one. We have to delete that one, but we had a's really fun. A lot. Remember that idea you had to record us before we were... We have to delete that one. Glad we didn't do that one. We have to delete that one. We had a lot of fun. By the time you're watching this, we're already back from St. Paul in Vancouver, and in just a couple weeks we'll be in Denver and Nashville. The great return to Nashville and the site of the first ever Glass Cannon Network retreat

Stay tuned for maybe a second one happened in the fall This is gonna be a hell of a year. I'm excited. You guys have any fun summer plans now. It's summer It's all for us up for you know who never retreated were the veterans who took the beaches at Normandy That's right. Yeah, June 6th, even though it was scary. It's super scary. So if you want to be like them Don't come to Nashville. I. That's not what I'm saying. Come to Nashville. No, come to Nashville. Kind of painted yourself in no corner with that one. Come to Nashville to do what our ancestors in the army could only dream of doing. Or that we can do because of our ancestors. Because something that we can only do because of the sacrifices of the brave men and women in our military.

I knew a guy that was there on D-Day. Really? He stormed the beach, yeah. Is he coming to the retreat? No, he's passed away. Knew a guy. Yeah, knew a guy. New.

Best tense. I would still know him, most likely. But he- I don't know. Maybe you guys had a sad falling out. People change? It's my grandmother's- It's like, I don't feel like I know you at all anymore.

I don't even know him anymore. It's my grandmother's boyfriend. Is he a cool guy? Did you approve? Wonderful guy. I never met my original grandfather, who was like this alcoholic mess, but this guy was cool.

And so my grandmother, like years later, just started like, I guess they were dating. Good for her. I never saw them like make out. That'd be weird. You're on the couch. I'm just wrecking. Is that your litmus test, if whether two people are dating, if you've seen them make out. That'd be weird. On the couch. I was just wrecking. Is that your litmus test if whether two people are dating

and you've seen them make out? Right. Otherwise, how do you know? Ha ha ha. You know, that's a fair point. How do you know? At their wedding, you're like, I've never seen them make out.

I've never seen this. Seems like a marriage of convenience. That's what I do. Like, if I'm at a party or something and you meet a friend of a friend, and then they're like This is my boyfriend John. I'm just like kiss first Let me see you kiss

He just say yeah, I worked with a guy who I mean He was trying to pass the time and annoy me But he would be he just he was like, I don't believe you actually have a girlfriend It was a time. Yeah, I was like I showed him my phone He's like that could be anybody then she came in one day to meet me after work, and he was like, you could have just asked a friend to come in and pretend to be her.

And I was like, oh my God. What do I need to do? Did you make out with Caitlin to prove that? Did you undress her on the street? No, they've never made out. Yeah, that's true. I've never seen them make out. It's a purely transactional marriage.

You were also just talking about the Puritans who were too radical for the Puritans. Yeah, yeah. That's me, apparently. Well, he was a Deity and you weren't. That's factual. Okay. I've been to Normandy though, I've been on the beach.

I think that counts, same thing. It was funny because- Oh, you were there? I just went to go see it. Yeah. And it was funny, it was like, I wanted to go onto the actual beach because they keep you on the cliff side

with all the grave markers and everything,, I wanted to go onto the actual beach because they could be on the cliffside with all the, you know, the grave markers and everything. But I want to go out on the beach. And I went to the go, there's like a path that leads down there, but there was a gate that was closed. And it said on it, there was a sign that said in English and French, it was just like, beach closed, caution, wild boar. And there's a scary looking picture of a wild boar like painted onto the sign. And I was just like, you know, back in it was like, you know, 1944, June 6, are the brave

men and women in the armed forces of many allied nations enacted the greatest, one of the greatest military feats in history, the largest amphibious operation landing in the history of warfare. And now I can't go onto the beach because the French people in charge can't get rid of a pig. I thought you were gonna say, in 1944, the brave men and women stormed the beach

and not only had to deal with gunfire, but also probably wild boars And wild boar on top of it all I wasn't prepared for this No, I told my joke Joke I wanted to tell yeah speaking of beaches you guys going any beaches this summer. I don't think so You know seeing the movie. I'm hoping I'm hoping to go to While I'm at the beach Did you guys go on any beaches this summer? I don't think so. You don't see them movie beaches? I'm hoping to go to. While I'm at the beach.

That's fun. We'll double dip. I've never seen beaches. Yes, you have. I've watched it with you. I was then asleep or not present of mind. Is that you are the one who leaves my wings? Yes.

I sat in a room with you and watched beaches. And our wives, who were the ones who had to watch it. That's why you don't remember. You guys were too busy making out. We were just making out. Erin was telling a story with you and watched beaches. And our wives, who were the ones who had to watch it. That's why you don't remember it. Wow, you guys were too busy making out. We were just making out. Erin was telling a story about, she's my friend, Matthew. Erin had read the book, and so she was telling us

all the stuff they cut out from the movie, which was wild. You don't remember this at all. I must have been drinking. Erin's gonna be. Behind glasses of vodka. Are you not that old? Are you just based on a book? I mean, that also is probably true. Yeah.

It's a very sad movie. Yeah, I don't remember it at all, though. Is there a beach in the movie? Yes. Yeah, they meet is probably true. Yeah. It's a very sad movie. Yeah, I don't remember it at all then. Is there a beach in the movie? Yes. Yeah, they meet as when they're kids. Atlantic City, right? They meet in the Atlantic City beach. Bette Midler's character.

Under the Boardwalk. Under the Boardwalk. Under the Boardwalk. Did they play that song? Pretty sure. Did she sing it? No. She's the singer in the movie.

She's playing Bette Midler. Yeah, she's basically, yeah. Did she write the book? No, but it was adapted, I think, to fit her stage persona. Got it. Beaches. Most of what Aaron was saying is like the John Herd's character in the movie is like a nice-

Love John Herd. He's a big John Herd guy. Be careful with that. Do a little Wikipedia. Oh, god damn it. Uh-oh, he's dead. But he's a really nice guy. and his character's a really nice guy, even though he doesn't work out,

but he's always supportive. And then Aaron was like, in the book, I won't spoil anything for anyone who wants to read the book. Okay. You heard it here first. Beaches, everyone. That's what you come for the Glass Cannon. Beaches, right.

Forget about the real Beaches, just watch the movie. Yeah. You know about the Beaches at Normandy, although you could see another Bette Midler movie for the boys if you're interested in a little. Let's hear it for you guys. Might as well be talking like a different fucking language for the last 10 minutes.

I don't know shit about you. You like the beach? Have you heard the Whitney by Wayne's? I don't watch movies. I can't read. And I bought a bathing suit. You can't read? No, I can't read.

And then I bought a bathing suit the other day. For the summer? And I was like, what am I gonna wear this suit? The beach? I don't go to the beach. Was it a beaches themed bathing suit? It was like lime green and it was on sale and I was like, I need one.

Wait, you don't- What for? You're not gonna go to the beach? It's a bathing suit tribute to friendship. It's a John Heard bikini. No, like it's like, I bought it for the idea of like, people buy bathing suits to go do beach activities. But I don't do that. I don't go to the beach.

You reflexively bought a swimsuit. Yeah. You just go there with a black hoodie and silk. And I was like, I don't do that. I don't go to the beach. No. You reflexively bought a swimsuit. Yeah. You just go there with a black hoodie and silk. And I was like, I'm gonna buy this. And then I got home, I'm like, I'm never gonna wear this. I feel similar about bathing suits. You weigh the trees, bud leaves,

without thinking about it. Every spring you bought a bathing suit. Exactly, like the trees. I think you, like me, buy clothes out of pure necessity, only when absolutely needed as clothing. As basic clothing. Yeah, I was about to say, this is my pants. This is my pants.

Like I couldn't imagine buying something, coming home, putting it in the closet, and then three months later being like, I never wore that. Dude, I wear sneakers until they fall off of my feet. And then you get another pair. And then I buy another pair of sneakers. That's the first time you have the second pair

of sneakers in the house. Wait, you don't do, so I I'm somewhere in between probably closer to your end But I will buy a buy a pair of pants and be like alright I want these to be my pants and then I will put them on one day and be like oh god I can't raise I can't wear or and then I put them in a closet and I don't wear them Bathing suit do you like having the lining in there or no line? I like the lining I like the lining okay, and no lining? I like the lining. I like the lining. And you're wearing anything underneath the lining?

It's a guy thing. No, no, no. Just letting the boys hang out? The lining is for the boys. The lining is the net. James Kahn. Why do they make it? What do you do with a bathing suit

that doesn't have the net? They do. They're called board shorts. What do you do with those? Do you wear them? Wear them. Tidy whities. Tidy whities.

You own tidy whities? Tidy whities under your swimsuit No girls don't need there's like a lining What Though sand gets stuck in there girls struggle with which boys don't have to think about or worry about, are weird tan lines. Because many times bathing suits are for fashion, and they have like cutouts and like straps and like bows and things. Pictures of John Heard.

Pictures of John Heard. Pictures of John Heard and Bette Midler on them and beaches themed bathing suits. It's confusing. But like, if you change the bathing suit, like you go on a vacation and you wear a different bathing suit every day, you're going to have some real crazy tan lines going on. So all of them are different like sizes and fits. When I buy a bathing suit, I literally wear like the same one all summer.

And it's the most basic like black, not important, nothing's on it, it's just a bathing suit. Oh yeah, mine's like basic, but I also don't go out into the sun. Like if I'm on the beach, I'm under the umbrella. Oh, I'm in the sun. A whole time. I'm in the sand, no towel.

I'm in the ocean on a surfboard. With the water reflecting, sun burning me so badly. Do you believe in sunscreen? Oh yeah, I wear a lot of sunscreen. I didn't wear sunscreen until I was 39. What? What's that? I didn't.

Doctors are calling 911 on your behalf. In the 80s, it was considered witchcraft. Did you wear tanning oil? Did you? Has anyone ever put on tanning oil? I've oiled- No. Look at the pasty white people.

Not you. Look at the pasty white people. I'm talking to the Italian. Well, the other Italian. I do tan. I bronze up real nice. I tan well when I do tan. I agree.

Because it was a phase. Like in the 90s, tanning oil was like really, really bad. I wear it when I wrestle. What does it do? What? It cooks you like a chicken. It's the same thing as what olive oil does to a turkey. I can't afford the actual oil.

Tanning oil would be fine. I need tanning oil. Let me ask you this. Do you ever, what's it gonna say? Wow. Do you ever put yourself in the oven? Do you ever? Do you ever roast yourself in the oven? Do you ever roast yourself with tail end oil?

Tanning oil, tanning cocoa butter. That stuff is delicious. That stuff smells for just anything. Just put it on afterwards. You ice a cake with it? That would be weird. That'd be weird, but you want to. My fiance uses cocoa butter.

That's like what he uses. And it smells. What is it? It's like a moisturizer, but it smells really sweet. It smells like cocoa,. That's like what he uses. And it smells. What is it? It's like a moisturizer. But it smells really sweet. Smells like cocoa. Maybe there's some tropical. It's like shea butter, cocoa butter.

Have you heard of that? Have you ever encountered cocoa butter? But what is it for? It's just a lotion. It's like a lotion. So it's not for sun or anything. After the beach, you put on some cocoa butter. It helps absorb everything.

It's good for you. So you don't peel as much. I used to get burr. I would go out there, no sunscreen, and get so fucking red that my skin would be peeling off. I'd be like, get it. Shocker. That's bad.

I didn't know that you weren't supposed to do that. Yeah. We didn't know it was radiation back then. Was it the pain? The pain didn't tip you off. Was it the ill side effects? Well, I never intended it to get that bad, but I liked having, I liked the intense. Everyone was like sunburned like all the time.

Yeah. I used to go to tanning beds all the, I like the tan. Everyone was like sunburned like all the time. Like I feel like. Yeah, people with tanning beds. I used to go tanning beds all the time back in the day. Most of my memories of being a kid like 10, 11, 12 years old and being at the boardwalk down the shore, most of my memories are of just physical pain under like under the clothes I was wearing every ride I was riding because of sunburn. And my parents had us put sunscreen on all the time. But like, you just don't reapply.

And then you go in the ocean, in the ocean, in the ocean, swim and swim and swim and swim. When I was a kid, they didn't have the mega SPF. I think eight was the highest. Totally. They didn't have 50. Like 100 now, 150. Yeah, if you're going outside, you put that on.

It's ridiculous. You put it on, and you stay inside your house. I have a summer question. This is a real divider of people, I think. Is it Bette Midler or Jason? Nope. We need to stop talking about beaches. I'll never stop talking about beaches.

Have you seen the moon? No. Do you guys like it? I can play Wind Blows the Wings on the piano. Do you like the ocean? It's the same thing. Love it. Love it.

Like it in what way? Do you go in the ocean? Of course. I respect it. I do not mess with it. I don't go in it. No, thank you. Love the ocean.

People are very divided. Some people are like, I do not like to swim in the ocean. And some people with it. I go in it. No, thank you Love the ocean people are very divided Some people are like I do not like to swim in the ocean and some people like I love the ocean I love swimming in the ocean. I love fishing in the ocean. I love the sound of the ocean I love sleep falling asleep to the sound of the ocean. I like waking up to the sound. Oh, come on It's the best you're doing you're like, why am I not doing this all the time? One thing I like writing poetry while sitting next to the ocean. Yeah, I like when he reads it to me. Okay, what's it like when you're at the ocean together?

I love the sound of this ocean, John. Yep. John, what rhymes with John? Yes, they'll look back, it'll be taught in college classes one day. Philadelphia poetry, late 21st century. You know, I'm a bit of a clean freak, and I love the ocean, and I never knew that most

a lot of people consider it gross like, oh, everybody pee's in there. I'm like, the ocean's big. Never bothered me. I pee in it. It's great. Warms it up. And you're a germaphobe. I'm a germaphobe.

So that's saying something. I love the ocean. Pee is sterile. There's a lot worse things in the ocean than pee. It's true. You wouldn't mind if I peed on you? Just because it's sterile doesn't mean I'm inviting you. Actually.

I didn't hear a no. That didn't sound like a here. I didn't hear no If you get stung by a jellyfish or a Portuguese man-of-war in the middle of the ocean and you need help somebody who I could be it myself Would you pee on me if I got some my jellyfish? I'd do it for free Charging you were paying you, I can't tell. Okay, pee at the ocean? Pee in the ocean? Sure.

Sure. Okay, that sounds like you'd mess with it. Like nature's bathroom. You say you don't mess with it. If somebody peed on me, I'd consider that an affront. You're an ultramightly. I would shh. I personally would.

The only reason when you're at the beach to go into the ocean is because you gotta go pee and the bathroom has a line and it's really far away. Yeah. And it's gross. You have to take off your swimsuit. Oh, it's so annoying. I like identifying from the beach while I'm reading a book, looking up and identifying the people that are currently peeing in the ocean.

Who? You can tell. You can just tell. Guy walks in, looks around. Stands. Just sort of goes down on his knees. Goes up by himself. You're like, oh, dude. Squats and just concentrates for a while. You're like, he's really trying. He's nervous. That's fine.

But that's why I will never go in a public pool ever again. No. No. That happens. Never going to happen again. No. That's disgusting. There's so much chlorine in there.

What if it's one of those really nice infinity, like, fancy pools, like at a hotel? But it's public. I mean, it's for the hotel guests. I wouldn't go to, like, the city pool. But the last couple of years. What if it was not's public. I mean it's for the you know I wouldn't go to like the city pool, but The last couple years Ritzy hotel pool is very different than a public pool. I didn't know you meant like public city pool as I tell my daughter Everyone poops yeah in the pool in the pool

The last couple years we went to LA, I was by the pool every day, just because. That's a nice pool. It's a nice pool. And if you have a couple drinks, you're peeing yourself in there. Like Vegas. Wait, what?

The pool's in Vegas, you're like, oh, I think I just shit my pants. Okay, remind me not to go in the pool in LA, because Troy's pissing me. No, I wouldn't pee in the pool. I don't pee in pools. Sounds like you rolled Krebs. Wow.

I like a hotel pool when it's like, we all know what's going on here. I don't need to partake in the peeing. I'm having a couple drinks. We're having a good time. You go to a Vegas pool, you know it's most of the pee. We went to our buddy's bachelor party a couple years ago, the infinity pool.

I know the fucking lazy river. Yeah, the river pool. Drink 20 Bud Light Limes, doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter anymore. Just live your life. We made some great business decisions in that river. Sure did. We got the future all figured out.

Oh my god. Wait, Glass Cannon Network Retreat, Vegas. Everybody's peeing in the lazy river. We'll be right back. So as you guys probably already know, Lumen, the first ever handheld metabolic coach decided to generously sponsor the GCP. And Sydney was really into it and wanted to try it out. And so she read a few ads for it on here and she has raved about it multiple times off air.

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I breathe into it first thing in the morning and the last thing at night is I'm heading to bed and I get this readout on the app of whether I'm burning fat or carbs. That information has been really effective for me to learn just for myself exactly how what I eat and when I eat it is impacting my body in real time. I started breathing right in before a workout and then doing it right after a workout and the results got me thinking in a totally different way about what a healthy lifestyle looks like for me and that's what I love about this thing. it doesn't feel like some rigid set of instructions for changing my entire nutrition and lifestyle overnight.

It's just an actual reading of your metabolism, live, and recommendations on what you should do about it at the moment. Sometimes, and this happens a lot actually, it's kind of like, you're doing great, keep doing what you're doing. Sometimes it's like, eh, maybe no more carbs tonight, buddy. And so I've barely changed my overall diet at all,

but by following simple little recommendations one day at a time, I've just got a lot more energy and I just feel better. Your metabolism is your power core. It is central to everything that your body does. So just using Lumen's guidance has been awesome for me. And I recommend you try this thing out with our discount. If you want to take the next step in improving your health, go to lumen.me slash GCP to get 15% off your Lumen. That's L-U-M-E-N dot M-E slash GCP for 15% off your purchase. Thank you, Lumen, for sponsoring this episode.

So I don't know if anyone else noticed, but this year is flying by. And, you know, it can be kind of lovely and important to think about the things you've done in a year that you're proud of, or the things you still want to accomplish this year. Because when life goes this fast, it's important to take a moment to celebrate your wins

and make adjustments for the rest of the year too. And therapy can help you take stock of your progress and set achievable goals for the next six months. Now I've said it before, I'll say it again, I think we should all be for healthier brains and I don't think that's a controversial position, but I'm for it. And therapy is one big thing anyone can do

to help find those paths towards a healthier brain. And if you're thinking of starting therapy, maybe give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Take a moment. Visit BetterHelp.com slash GCN today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help

Help dot com slash GCN. This show is sponsored by better help Folks are back. We're back on the attack and we're ready to play Time for Pathfinder. Which one is it today? Which game are we playing? Time for Pathfinder. We are psyched, as always, about our sponsors, Demi Plain Foundry, VTT, and the Norse Foundry. Elevating the game. Where you can get our personal dice, their Norse Foundry dice, and they're very beautiful.

How, Sydney, does your dice roll? Let's see. Do you currently rate it as a lucky die for you, an unlucky die for you, or a neutral die? It's a neutral die. I have a hard time with heavier, really beautiful gemstone dies. I find I roll better with light plastic dies. Could be a me thing.

That was a 12. You mean you roll higher numbers with? Yes. Not you physically roll them better. I don't know. I feel like I roll it bad. Okay. Because I get-

It's all technique. I get middling numbers. There is a lot of technique. 11, 12. I think anybody but me really does the- You do a crazy thing. Dude, it's the backspin, John. You gotta roll it into the hoop.

Are you giving lessons on rolling dice? I'm just saying what I do. I'm just saying this is what turned it around. Do you remember? Matthew, Matthew, Matthew, you used to be a lot more natural ones in my life. Something changed. Not your dice rolling, you always roll. Backspin! And what was that?

It was the backspin. And what was the number? What was it? Nattie 13. That's very lucky. You did pass off your curse to Kate. No, I just rolled a natural 18 on my Kate dice. I just rolled a nat 20.

I like to do the bounce off the wall. See, I like that too, I like to bounce. You like craps, you like craps. I roll like crap against a wall, like I like that rolling. I just tried the bounce off the wall technique and I rolled a three, a four, and a three. That's not for everybody. I feel like every time a character dies,

the curse gets passed along to someone new. Yeah. Yeah, it's like it follows. So it's out there somewhere. Kate, you didn't roll very well last episode. Oh, that's right. It's like a symbiote. What?

You haven't died. She rolled really well though. I rolled really good last episode. Death resets the curse. I hit full time. Oh, you're saying just if anyone dies. The symbiote floats and finds a new host. Right.

And it's found you. I died by rolling a natural wand on a dying host. Exactly. I think it came right back to you. Right. It sensed you. Oh my gosh. Well.

It can smell your fear. If this actually happens, I'm right back to you. It sensed you. Oh my gosh. Well. It can smell your fear. If this actually happens, I'm blaming all of you. What if your new character just constantly sucks because of how you roll the die? Stop. Matthew's getting upset. This is a voice I can actually do. It was a good voice.

Yeah. It's a solid voice. And the coat is awesome. Well, the coat can stay, regardless of what happens to your character. Yeah. If you die, we should take the coat. Yeah, someone should. You guys know that. We don't want that coat to your character. Yeah, we'll save the coat. Yeah, if you die, we should take the coat.

Yeah, someone should. You guys know, we don't want that coat to go to waste. And the mirrors. It's our first duster since Baron. Yeah. Yeah. Baron at Ash Peak. You guys needed a good stomp encounter.

For sure. You had it. You had it. Yeah, I mean, that's the thing. Like, Osta been... Osta been missing a lot too. Osta been bad. Osta's been missing a lot too and not timing it right with the spell strike.

It hasn't been whatever. And then you can just see what happens like when it aligns and you roll a crit. You didn't even roll a natural 20. You just roll a crit and it was like BAM 48 points of damage. That was huge. That was, I needed that. That's what Magus can do is like those really like gigantic massive hits like that. That might have been the most damage I've done. I think it was the most damage ever done at this table.

I mean, as a level two character. The damage on that crit makes me rethink everything I thought I knew about this game. Because I haven't seen you guys unleash that type of damage. And that was not a natural 20. That changes everything. I think I need to start upping the ACs. No, no, no, no. The DCs, the number of damage. And that was not a natural 20. We had one good combat. That changes everything. One good combat. That was sad. I think I need to start upping the ACs.

No, no, no, no, no. The DCs. No. The number of enemies. You have to know. Their initiative. That was a crit. And I had that striking spell, which I've never used before.

I got to add my, I cast my striking spell, which I had prepared that day. It was a new spell I hadn't tried out. Yeah. All you should be worrying about is reducing the number of hedgehogs. Yeah. That's the only thing you should worry about. Wow. Like how many, like zero. We should the number of hedgehogs. Yeah. Wow. Like how many? Like zero.

We should probably have like none, probably. Yeah. Wow. Zero. Beloved. When are the plushies coming out? By you. Yes.

The fans love them. These are real treats. They're real fun to have around. The fans in the chat were demanding Hubert plushies and Buggles plushies. Buggles plushies. Buggles plushies for sure. I want to clarify. I think Buggles has no problem with Hubert. I think he likes Hubert.

Yeah. I think Barnes doesn't actually hate him that much either. Yeah. He doesn't really know him. Yeah, Barnes just met him. They just met. They just met. And he's impressed with your man.

To be fair, you've only known him for about- I know, you kept saying three-leg tripod man, and I didn't get it for the first three times. Brother tripod, brother tripod. Who's not gonna like a guy that says nice penis? That's how you ingrate, that's like Dale Carnegie, how to win friends on internet. That's right.

Chapter one. Just walk up to your boss and be like, you know, you got a hell of a penis. I'm out of it. But to be fair, all of you have only known humor. That propelled LBJ's political career. Two days. But we've experienced these.

Yeah, one day, two days. Harrowing experiences with him where he just like dances around during them while we're dying. You know what? No, we all met him the same day. Oh my God, is it still the same day? No, no, no.

So you met him when you killed- We rested at the K'nip K'nipo. We rested, yes. You've known him one more day than Warren says. That's all it takes. Well, he's gonna be around until the end of the campaign and will live on longer than all of you hedgehogs have a longer lifespan than humans. That's not true.

I don't think they live a long time. This one does. This one does. You guys are in the jungle. Your new friend went to dying one within 12 seconds of that fight. But your new friend did take the van, did stand up there with very cool abilities, cooler than any abilities that he possess.

What is going on with this fellow? The fight ends, these things are bleeding out on the ground. What do you do? You okay? Well no, you're back, right? I'm back, I have one hit point. He turns to Buggles and he says It was a pleasure enough to meet you in real life.

I didn't also expect to meet you in the depths of my mind. Thank you for what you did. And you're saying this as the Koola Khan is fading. Like literally. Are say, are you all right, sir? I'm fine. And you're clearly not okay. I'm all right. He struggles up.

He's at one hit point. But don't call me sir. Barnes is fine. Please, Brother Ramius, please help him. Yes, Brother Ramius comes up to you quickly. You're a doctor? I am. Yes, let me have a look at your wounds here. You're a doctor?

Strange. Barnes looks around to make sure it's confirmed. We're all covered in horrible scars. I thought you said that you specifically were not a doctor when you screamed out. Call him a doctor. Just turn a phrase. It's an easier way to get to the real issues. He holds up the pustule. Is the pustule still there?

Yeah, they're kind of, oh actually. Thanks for, is there like an onset disease situation? Oh boy. Is it a poison? All right, so give me another fortitude save. Oh boy. Wait, what's the frequency, dude? It's X amount of rounds and there's multiple stages.

Wow. 17. All right, so you go to stage two. Oh. All right. So now you will gain a larger, larger, a like you go to your fire weakness get increases. So it goes to I'm stalling as I look it up. It goes to a weakness to fire for and then you take 10 points of piercing.

I pass out. Like pass your standing. I'm fine. I pass out. Like, pass your standing up. You're just like, oh. I'm standing up. I'm fine. I'm fine. All right. Can anybody stop this venom?

Is this, it's a poison? Yeah, it's a venom. I can check the traits, but. Suck the pustules. Brother Ramious. Eww. Asda. He's going to, first I'm going to do a...

I'm not going to keep you on initiative, But everyone should have a chance to try and help him So everyone should have a chance to suck the pusshules if it comes to Austin Austin wants to suck the I'm going to attempt to treat Poison, you know, it's a good pulls out his healers toolkit and as you know, he's not a person Oh, I go check if it's still where each her body have one antidote. It's see right back in case of emergency break glass Protheramiaias will attempt to treat poison. Okay. So he's going to start working on these.

You're basically doing a save for him or you're doing something that will give him bonus to his save. Something that will give him a bonus to a save should I succeed. So I guess mine is against the DC. So it's 21. Okay, that's a success. Okay. So you get a plus two circumstance bonus to your next saving throw against the poison so he's taking some pieces of cloth that it's like give me some damp

cloth and he's like laying it on the pustules and trying to keep them from being so virulent and and growing into these horrible things that explode. So we pee on some cloth. Yes. Sterilize some cloth. You're on sterile. Yes, thank you. Great job, Buggles.

Can anybody do, do you have other actions you could heal him and bring him up? Because basically, if it's going to come back around to him, so his first thing you would roll is a dying save. So right now, so if you're're saying are we an initiative or not essentially I'm not gonna make so this poison takes every round. Yeah for X amount of frowns I'm a dying to right now. So you're a dying to right now. So I oh because you're wounded So weird treat poison is one action. So can you do a heel? Sure, how many actions does treat poison?

Treat poison is one action. Okay. Treat wounds is 10 minutes. I mean, you could die. It's right here. I see it. I have an elixir. If you don't roll out of the poison yourself, you will die.

I know. Because here's what I'm thinking, right? I can just stabilize you. I can just stabilize you instantly without a problem. But you would be wounded too. Then if you fail on the poison, even if you succeed on the poison, you're going to go immediately to dying three. Then I can stabilize you and you'll be wounded three.

Then if you fail on the roll, you will be dying four and permanently die. But I have an elixir of life. It doesn't matter. Minor. It doesn't matter? Because of the wounded condition. It won't heal wounded if he... He has to roll out of this this poison this poison is going to kill him if he doesn't roll out I don't even play. Let's take it back three poison doesn't take ten minutes. It's one action. Okay, so your options are

To heal I will treat poison and I will give you the plus two bonus and I will stabilize him I don't see the reason to heal him. I don't see the keep in mind He's at stage two. So if he's just regular succeed, he'll go to stage one take damage again, right but the damage Yeah, well, I just need to know how much damage it's gonna be what was it before it was a man It does matter because if I if I cast heal and get your HP up enough, you won't go back to dying That and then I thought yeah, let me I'm just gonna cast Heal so I will treat poison and then I will do a two action Heal on him. Okay, okay, and that is going to give you minimum nine points of healing All right. Can anybody else do anything else? Can I give him the elixir of life minor? Does that is that not sure help him? Yeah, okay, so that's 1d6

Yeah 1d6. Yeah, 1d6. Plus? It's just 1d6. Elixir of Life Miner? Yes, yes, that's correct. 1d6. Not plus 1? Oh, and the bonus is plus 1.

What does that mean? The elixir restores 1d6 hit points, and the bonus is plus 1. I don't know. That means I'm pretty sure those elixirs are just 1d6. I don't think there's pluses like 26 plus one. Yeah, I don't think Okay, anything I'm not trained in medicine. I pour that when he wakes up again Yeah with it. It's a weird sentence

Oh, I think no the bonus is what you get to saves against diseases and poison so that's good Oh, okay, so and that I have okay. And that is an item bonus. So that will stack. So I pour that into your mouth when you wake up with the nine hit points. Asta immediately uncores. And poison. Unlike treat poison, that plus one lasts for 10 minutes.

I don't know if treat poison lasts that long. No, it's just the next save. So I would have to keep treating him. Also, you have a bottle cap, so you're fine. Oh, right. Yeah, but I have to use it on this out of combat. It's so depressing. All right, anybody else wanna do it?

All right, what'd you roll? Oh, are you gonna roll? You want me to? I can roll. Let's see. He's unconscious and tired. One. Oh!

That was a complete waste. Like a complete waste of the points. No, we have a plus one to the poison. The bonus, the bonus. All right, not a complete waste. Don't be mean 90% waste I'm Oh, oh I I have an antidote I have a lesser antidote I take my healing potion back undo Fair I undo if he had an antidote I wouldn't give him the healing potion you're trying to heal me not She came up he needs. Yeah, that's too different.

He needs it still? Okay. So, Buggles on his turn is going to, I think we're all just walking up, pouring stuff into his mouth. Barnes is feeling very well taken care of. Is that an antidote? What's on this cloth?

Just shoving a pee rag in his mouth. Are we waterboarding him? It's sterilized. Cloth and pouring stuff. So that's going to be an additional, or a total plus two item bonus. Alright, so keep your Lesser John over there, Sydney. There's no reason. They won't stack. No, there is a reason. She should use it. We should not undo that. He only gets one hit point.

I understand, but we didn't know. We're undoing it because we rolled a plus one on the heal. Alright, I try. This fucking guy! We're undoing it because we rolled a plus one on the heel. That's what we're doing. You're one on the heel. All right, I try. I know. This fucking guy. Take it back. This fucking guy. I can't understand how you can do that. Unbelievable.

No, no, I just want to know. The GM's trying to be nice to us. He's just one mile away. I just want to clarify that the primary reason for it was to give him hit points. Because even at stage one. No, my primary reason was to give him an item bonus to the save.

No, because you didn't know that plus one. You didn't know that. You found out after. And now because you're lying, that person. You didn't know that you found out after. And now because you're lying, I'm making you. And I did a good job. That's true. And I'm being punished. Wow.

If I die, you cut after all of this. I mean gaslight. I mean gaslight. Everyone's gaslighting Sydney. Okay, okay, okay, I got an idea. All right, we undo that and then, why don't you give him the potion? Because he needs 1d6 hit points.

I've got an idea, give him the potion. Alright. Who's going to roll it? You know what, I'm actually going to take the higher road here and I'm going to say why don't you just keep that little potion I gave you. Good for you. Thank you. Good for you. Maybe the bigger person.

What a mess. He gave you a potion, she gave you a potion, Buggles gave you an antidote. You have a plus four to the save and you have ten hit points. Nine from Ramius, one from Goofball. I'm rolling my chipped Matthew die. Okay, come on buddy, get it! Get it! Get a crack!

No you didn't! Come on. It's not a one. It's not a one. But it's still a fail, fifteen. Fifteen you roll? It's not a one. It's not a one. It's not a one. But it's still a fail, 15. 15, all right, so you take stage two again, because there is no stage three soccer alert,

so you're weak to fire. Nobody used fire on him, and you're gonna take eight points of fire. Yes! I'm still up. All right. That's great. Don't try to cauterize the wound, everybody.

All right. I was thinking about it. Now, now what you wanna do, now I'm gonna continue to treat the poison. And you have a plus one to the next thing for my potion. How long does the antidote last? The antidote lasts for six hours. The plus one doesn't stack. So it's just plus two and then maybe another plus two. Or even more if you crit. Yeah if I crit but I doubt that. Let's see. At 20? Let's see. Oh!'s plus four. Plus four circumstances on it. So it's plus six. Never down your psych. Now hold on, hold on.

For the dice. A little healage. And then I will cast heal again. I'll start burning them on you, buddy, because we cannot have your character die. That would be hilarious. Oh, max that time, 16. Okay, all right, all right.

Okay, okay. Comes back around. This has been the one. I'm done over here. You're done over here. I'm done over here too. When you're done. So. One, two, around. This has been the one. I'm done with it. I'm done with it too. When you're done. So the. One, two, three.

A little. So how many saves this? You fail the first one. You fail the one to save. Yeah, I think that it might work. It's way out of your system. It's possible that it doesn't just keep going till it kills you. Yeah, it has a maximum duration.

So plus six to my four to you on this roll. This is awesome. I love poison shit. Scary. Okay, natural 18. There we go. That might be a crit. So that'll be plus 13 to that role. So 31 31. That's a critical success. You go from stage one to zero your cure We did it oh, it's so funny I got through that combat and I was like and we didn't use any of my heal spells

Burned two of them Thank you all that was oh I thought I was I thought I was back, but are you going to faint again? No, I think I'm all right that venom I think it's worked its way out. Thank you. Thank you Yes, whatever that was we need to keep an eye out for these creatures now to had you seen them before ever I had seen before but I hadn't messed with them.. Asta kicks the body out of the way between her and... No, no, it's just... It's acting according to its nature. We are the invaders here.

That's very wise of you. Very wise. Very dealt. Interesting. I... Well, I mean, they did attack us. I would say in nature, those that attack first might not get the benefit of the doubt. We are the creatures invading their space. We shouldn't be here. I would say in nature, those that attack first might not get the benefit of the doubt.

We are the creatures invading their space. We shouldn't be here. As a fox, you should know that. Pardon me? So then what do we do? Get to the funicular. After we heal me first, because I'm a bit wounded. I'm also wounded, Brother Ramius.

Give me a moment. And remember, he's drained. So like his eyes are sunk. How long does that roll last? All day. What was that that happened? Skin is a little solid. I've never seen you cast that hard before.

Are you okay? I don't know either. I could feel the presence of the keepers. Tried to drive that creature away from us, but I felt so angry. I haven't felt anger like that in a long time. I had been doing that, but something about losing Talitha was too hard.

Is that her name, Talitha? Yes. As he's wrapping up Barnes, he'll talk about it. So yeah, he heals you. And so yeah, and so he'll talk about Talitha as he does it, and about what a terrific nine hit points. What a terrific. I'm up to four. You're up to four. All right, great.

What a terrific. Rod. She was. What a smoke and hop rod she was. No, like what a, how intelligent she was, and how skilled she was in so many different areas and everything. And did you say you were an educator?

Yes. I teach at the Arcanarium. Oh, the Arcanarium. What's that? In Absalom, it's a university. It's the largest university in the largest city in Avastat. It's primarily a school for magic users, but they also train, they also offer an anthropology course. If you don't mind my saying, you are rather scarred, however, as well.

You don't seem purely an academic. No, I'm a field researcher. I'm not trained, I'm not schooled myself. I think honestly, they were a bit embarrassed they hadn't hired me after a while. So. Wow. And he will start working on Zephyr and he crits on Zephyr. Oh, that's 20. 20 for Zephyr on this.

I'm full. Awesome. Brother Ramius, do you have any healing for a broken heart? I'm sorry. I haven't yet found the spell for that. Right now? I can offer you one. I can offer you a bit of healing for that.

What? What would you do? There's something that you can do for that. You personally, it's only, no one can come from you. All right, I'm all ears. What is it? I suggest song. Song?

Yes, you should sing. I should sing? Yes. I've never learned how. You don't know what you're doing right now. Please don't. Carry a tune. Please don't. Please don't. There's no one You don't know what you're doing right now. Please don't. Carry a tune.

Please don't. He's wounded, he doesn't know what he's talking about. Please shut your mouth right now. You don't know him like we do. Close your mouth. Song, eh? Yes. Nothing wrong with Brother Buggles.

Buggles is excited. Buggles loves songs. What would I even sing about? Nothing, nothing at all. Asta, are you hurt? I can teach you a few simple tunes if you like. Is that what you taught at the Archanecanium? Archanecanicium. Archanec-le-cle-ium.

You have a stroke there. That thing that you said, the Archanecanium. Archanearium. Yes, that. I did not teach music at the Archanearium, however. So you're a singer yourself. I wouldn't go that far, but I can provide you with... I can write some simple sheet music for you. Oh, now what

is that? What is that? Just the music you could sing. Right. Your mother never sang songs to you? No, no, no, she tried, but nothing ever came out. just air. She'd go. I hate it, I hate it so much. I was watching Brody collapse. I don't know what it was about. Now you can see why I never learned. Your mother, she sounds like a fascinating person. Oh, she was the best. She was the best.

Shall we proceed to the particular? Us is like holding her robe open so Brother Rabius could bandage it. Cold water. Runny drips. Runny drips. Are you done yet with the stitching? Ah yes, you're fine.

He doesn't know what books are but he knows what stories are. Thank you, I'm good. Onward through the lovely jungle. You could set that to music. What I just said there? Yes. Sing that. Onward through the lovely jungle. Onward through the lovely jungle.

Onward through the lovely jungle. Onward through the lovely jungle. I think you're just singing Ave Maria. I was right. Does that sound or...? I'm familiar with the music, but you know the melody to Ave Maria perfectly. I don't really know what you're talking about. I seem to be crying. Pretty sure there is.

There's running drips coming out of my eyes! Get them all over my bushy! I don't really know what you're talking about. I seem to be crying. Pretty sure they're iffy. There's running drips coming out of my eyes! That's a couple of... Get them all over my bushy! I see an opera singer. What? He's like Crocodile Dundee with a head injury. This is good.

It's good to laugh. Which way? This way. To the vernicular. You know where it is. Yes, I've been there before. All right. Well. Be careful. Keep your eyes open. One more minute. I'm just going to focus for 10 minutes.

The healing that I did alone took about 40 to 50. Oh. Yeah, it took plenty. Oh, for everybody else. For everybody else, so you could have refocused. All right. Onward then. Barnes? This way.

Are you feeling better? I'm feeling much better. Thank you all. Great. Let's go. Let's get closer to this damn thing. Keep trudging ahead in the lovely jungle in search of this gondola that you

saw from the cliffside nearby where you entered this jungle through the Ayodhara. Travel along for a couple of hours. Barnes, you feel like you can get there while there's still light if your memory of the area isn't deceiving you. At a certain point you come to a stream bed and you look up and down. It doesn't seem like there's any other way to go, but across it, it's nothing like the river that you had to cross with the snail where you lost Talitha.

And there's these short rainbow-colored mushrooms just like covering the edge of the stream bed on both sides offering a welcome reprieve from the forest undergrowth that you dealt with thus far. Asta goes and picks up one of the mushrooms and all of a sudden Jesus that scared me! And she gets like four times as tall Wub wub wub wub wub!

Asta goes and grabs one of the mushrooms and as you step into the mushroom patch, there is this just like, I don't know. Asta. And like energy just blasts all of you in the mind. Give me a will save. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Where is this? What's the distance? Asta, we saw the- We had to walk through the, Give me a will save. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait you grab this mushroom, so you guys, you just see Asta like whip her head back, but you're the only one here with this loud hum that just like turns into psychic energy that hammers your brain. What is it? What's the save? A will save. Will save. 13, 13?

Lucky number 13. Lucky 13. It's a critical failure. Dang. Oh god. What was the thing we were reading about effects if it doesn't list a critical failure? It isn't double? Is that true of all effects if it doesn't list it? Or only if it lists?

If it says a basic save, then it's double. It doesn't say basic save. If it says a basic save then it's it doesn't say basic save if it has if it has like oh no It does say basic. I'm sorry. I missed it. Yeah, there's a double all right, so I'm just making sure because this is so much damage You take 38 points of mental damage and you're fatigued Can you just chill for a second? You are down and you're fat your fatigue more importantly you're dying to I'm assuming those all your Points of damage to go pick up pretty mushroom. She's probably like whoa

Yeah, I'm imagine I imagine the moment just down. I imagine at the moment brother Ramias is just like talking to Barnes about like the arcanaria. I mean, it's just like, so I'm fascinated, but how many buildings are there? And all of a sudden you just hear like, maybe as you're walking up, he turns and Asta's on the ground. Well, it's also only mental.

So only she like got hurt or knew what happened. And you hear just like a poof. I can picture this. And then up. And she just collapsed. Like as you're walking up, Zephyr's like, Asta, Asta. You remember she died? Asta, Asta, and you're not listening. And she just collapsed. Like as you're walking up, Zephyr's like, Asta. Asta.

Asta, and you're not listening. And then suddenly you're... We all run to her thoughts. We all run up to her. Well, well, oh, slow down! It could have something to do with the mushrooms! Can I roll on the mushrooms? Couple things. Now, who went to dying during the last combat? Did you remove wounded? Yeah, when we treated-

You healed enough to remove wounded or treat wounds that itself? Okay. Yeah. Alright, so you're at Dying 2. You guys have plenty of time here, but tell me what you want to do. Can I roll on my- Plenty of time? Yeah. Um...

Same. Can I roll Nature? Did I pick one? Yes. But it fell from your hand immediately when you hit the- It'll be a plus six for me. Plus six. Try and figure out what these. It'll be a plus six for me. Plus six. Try and figure out what these are. I have a plus four for nature.

Plus four for nature? All right, so plus six and a plus four. You're not quite so sure, but you get the sense that these mushrooms are all working together in some way. Oh, a fungal network. Yeah, it's like a fungal network. So just by entering that field and grabbing one, it's like a defense mechanism of the plants.

In unison, they all just hammered her mind. Yeah, stall field of mushrooms. Even though it's just one small mushroom, she picked one and it activates all of them. We pick her up, Barnes will scoop her up and kind of gently lift her out of the mushroom, being very careful not to crush any mushroom. Bring her back away from those things. And he also, he takes her katana. Bring my mushroom.

Katana. Where am I from, New Jersey? Katana. Katana. Bring your katana. I take your katana to the shore. And does anyone heal her before she has to roll a death's eye? For Christ's sake.

Oh yeah, I'll cast Stabilize. I can cast Stabilize. And that brings her to zero, but wounded two? Wounded one. Yeah. Wounded one, I'm sorry. Yes. So you're...

What a day. I'm not awake yet. Don't look at me. You can't yell at her yet. Set her down. Set her down. Set her down. Set her down. Set her down.

Ramie just gets over and just starts cursing slowly under his breath. Fucking awesome. And he starts working to try. Oh, wait. This was all mental damage. It was all mental. Yeah.

I was about to say. Yeah. So it's like, how would he treat wounds on this? He's looking you over for any visible wounds. Does he see anything on your skin or anything like that? It's like blood coming out of her ear. Yeah. OK, so he'll's blood coming out of her ear. Yeah. Okay, so he'll start cleaning that blood from her ear

and Asta, can you hear me? Slaps her. And he'll start treating wounds the best way he can. And that is a success for 10 points of healing, which would at least wake you up. Do you have assurance? At this level, would assurance guarantee you success on medicine checks? I really don't think so. you up. Do you have assurance? At this level, would assurance guarantee you success on on

medicine checks? Um, I really don't think so. I think it's really close, but not quite. But maybe maybe at level two, it could. Yeah. But I took continual recovery instead so I could do it every 10 minutes. That's what I took instead. So yeah, she wakes up. What happened? You tried to eat the mushrooms. You went ahead of us and you picked a mushroom and then it like a blitherated your brain. All of them all at once. I think it's best if we be very careful even with the flora. They seem to have ancient defense mechanisms.

Mushroom attacked you like you're an Italian plumber or something. Hubert walks over to the mushrooms and picks one. Hubert! Oh no, let him go. What? No, go deeper. A deeper mushroom. Oh, alright. I don't see what the problem is.

Does he not have a mind? They smell rank. Perhaps the hazard has not reset. This would never happen. Oh! Austin! And Tal'dor. Look at these! I didn't think it would. I heard like a scream.

A scream. My head. Did you hear it? No, but it's, they are, they're a network and they work together so you picked one and they all screamed in your brain. All at once I guess. I'm sorry. It's alright.

I think you need at least another 10 minutes or so. Just lay here, rest your head, rest your head. Where's my katana? You need some mushroom. Right. I picked some fresh mushrooms. Another 13 points of healing.

Okay, I'm almost up to full. Another 10 minutes. Okay, it's just a wound that goes away. Wound that goes away. Yeah, and I'm still fatigued, or no? But fatigue goes away, well actually how does fatigue go away? I think you have to rest. Rest, like a wound that goes away. Wound that goes away. Yeah, and I'm still fatigued, or no. But fatigue goes away. Actually, how does fatigue go away? I think you have to rest.

Rest, like a full night's rest. Okay, so you will. Or maybe it's one hour for that. Yeah, full night's rest. It's full night's. That'll be a penalty to AC and saves. And you can't use exploration activities while traveling on a horse.

Well, I wish I could use exploration activities traveling on a horse right now, but I don't, okay? I just said on a horse. It's not. It's all exploration activities. Okay, I think I'm okay. Good. All right, let's go. Brother Ramius, you like to smoke certain things, but you could have some fun with these. Hubert, how did you pick that mushroom? I don't know. Just walked over there and picked it up. Smoked mushrooms?

No, I don't know. I just see him doing stuff. Can I do a nature check to see if they're psychedelic? Yeah. Okay. Oh, 27. They're obviously very dangerous, but you, as someone who's in the know, a former gardener, and addict, they do have psychedelic properties, but dangerous.

Yeah, he's like, no, psychedelics are not for me. I can't, mind can't handle them and I can't trust myself. So I prayed. Hubert's eating six of them. What was that you said? Hubert! Hubert, you are about to see some very strange things. Tingles me brain.

But I assure you, you'll be okay. All right. Just keep talking. That would be the best for everyone. You're funny and sorry. If you just kept talking. All right, I'll just keep chatting throughout the rest of the year.

This way, this way. No one touch any more mushrooms. You have any Allman brothers? Hey, Hubert, you ever think about dying? Who said that? I was probably just like watching you and hate hates you. It was probably. Guys are funny.

It doesn't seem funny. Do you ever get scared? What's that? You feel like you're maybe itchy right now? Something's crawling on your skin. Like a spider? Yeah, yeah, it's a little strange. The world's all bendy.

Imagine the sounds of the cacophony of the jungle must sound very interesting. The birds must be overwhelming. Ooh, my back hurts. Things have just pooped out my pee hole. Alright. Alright, let's go on. Let's go. We leave him behind. I like how we throw him a bone. As if we think anything different is going to happen. We allow him into our party and lives and throw softballs, just little softballs. Hey, stop singing again.

You keep walking. Again. Theomachus thinks that you can. That's a great name for us to not use. Theomachus is so- That sucks that we're calling you Barnes. That's an amazing name. Yeah, Theomachus is so- can we call you Theo?

Can we call you Theo? Who likes Barnes? Can we call you Mock call you mark? No, I call you us. Can we call you can we call you cuss? I'll tell you when you can call me when you can call me it. All right. Barnes Barnes Barnes Barnes Barnes, I'm gonna call you tuberculosis. Tb. You feel like you can get to what you saw being this gondola

by the end of the day before nightfall. Nice. Push forward. Great. Eventually, you guys reach a hill that seems familiar to you. Climb to the crest of the hill and the trees thin at the top of the hill, and you see like a valley leading into a broad stone quarry. And you see that the steep sides of the quarry have been sheared at least like 15 feet deep.

So you're about 15 feet up. It's like a sheer drop into the quarry. The walls and the floor are a mix of naturally broken stone and expertly precise excavation. There is a narrow pathway leading from the top of the hill, like down and into the quarry so you don't need to scale the walls. The only reason you would want to get down there is in the center of the quarry so you don't need to scale the walls. The only reason you would want to get down there is in the center of the quarry there is a shallow pool of water encircling the base of a 30 foot tall stone tower. The tower's top is flat on the top and it can be accessible via a ramp on the south side.

So there's like a ramp on the south side of the tower that leads up to the top of the tower. And at the top of the tower there are two curving room carved pillars crackling with purple lightning and generating two narrow light beams that lead down to the pyramids So they are not purple ropes. They are lightning My god, it's like a trolley car. Not a funicular at all. No, but maybe it is but it runs on it like funicular like like a trolley car. Like a superconductor.

Yeah, like... Yeah, or no, it's like a... but it's a gondola. It hangs below, right? Yeah, so they look like purple robes from afar. It's not... it's this lightning that leads directly into the pyramids in the mountains. And you see in the distance, the gondola is like coming back towards the top of this stone tower. Within the quarry, working amongst this tower, there are two large stone beings standing

within the basin, large, capital hell. That's them. And they're hard at work, hewing stone and putting it in a pile near the gondola platform. There's something elvish about them, which is what Barnes said, but they're also like large and early and naked with like completely androgynous features. Instead of heads, they have like metallic

sculptures where a head should be of celestial orbs. Each like sculpture suspended inside of a large vertical ring. So one statue's head is a stylized like Sun and the other is a crescent moon just hanging in there and they're hard at work loading stuff ready for this gondola to return. We'll be back right after this quick break. What to do here? Nesh, are you guys familiar with the flavored air category as an alternative to vaping and smoking? I was not until recently.

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from our good friends at Foundry VTT. Show me it. Show me the mappy. Oh, oh, those pawns are very, wow. Oh, sexy stone ladies. Yeah, sexy sun and moon stone ladies. Yeah, this is sort of a classic image of a stone construct, but it doesn't quite do justice to the image that I described, but similar. Yeah, this is similar. This could easily have been inspired by the caryated columns creature in fiend folio from original Dungeons and Dragons. I know those creatures. Yeah so imagine this without a head just like a circle

with a floating Sun or a floating moon in it. It is it is extrater-terrestrial in nature. It's very very strange. We are in Castelbelle. He slipped. Oh he said extra-terrestrial. It is definitely extra-terrestrial. I chose my words carefully. Everything about this does not seem like home, especially with these lightning ropes. Um, are any of you any good at stealth? I am a little bit, but... Is any of you an expert? I don't know how to put this more succinctly, but are any of you an expert in stealth?

I've been trained in stealth. Can't follow the expert on stealth. There are no experts at level 2, I believe. Maybe we should watch to see if they have a route change. I have a plus 3, but I'm not trained or expert. I have a plus eight. Whoa. I'm trained. Great.

I'm plus six. I'm plus one. Maybe we should watch them to see if they have a routine first, because what's our goal here? We wanna get onto the gondola thing. That is incredibly smart. Right?

Incredibly insightful. You are so valuable to this group. Yes. We would be lost without you. We would be lost. We'd all... I'd hate to think what would happen to us if you left, Zephyr. If Zephyr left, we would all die.

We all would surely... Thank you, Zephyr. Based on the one battle I've seen, I don't know how they could survive without you. Okay, sir. He's on the one battle. I've seen I don't know how they could survive without you Okay guys That is a great idea, let's let's hunker down for a bit and think see what their routine is routine Let's surveil like for a while. Just watch just watch. Also to see how often the gondola goes back and forth. Let's get a sense of the whole rhythm. How fast it's coming. Yeah, and what do they do if it's not there?

Do they like go to sleep or something? How long do you want to watch? Hours, it depends on, that's what I would say, I would say hours. It depends on what they do. Yeah, if nothing changes for two or three straight hours at all, yeah, then we would at least know the rhythm of the gondolas. But if something changes, maybe we wait another few hours, you know what I mean, to see if there's a routine. All right, so you watch. And there doesn't seem to be a routine per se. They're working the area. They're just finding stone

to chop, they make a pile, and eventually the platform comes to the top of the tower. And when it does, it rests there for a moment. And they just start loading it up with these stones. And then after several minutes of pausing, it takes off again and continues down the line. And you see another one coming in the distance. If you're waiting hours to watch this, it seems like a gondola arrives every 30 minutes. Another fresh one comes and they just repeat the process.

There is no sort of like precise like this one moves there and this one moves there. They're working even though they're inhuman. They're working and when it comes they're intelligent enough to know to like load up the stone that they've hewed from the walls, put it on the gondola as much as they can before it takes off again. But the 30 minutes is that like to the minute-ish? But the 30 minutes, is that like to the minute-ish? Pretty, yeah, you can pretty much set your watch to it. 30 minutes and it stays for about anywhere from between five and seven minutes. It stops there while they're loading it, and then it continues on. What about this?

We could fight them. I don't know that we can fight them. Did they start coming after you when you got a certain closest to them, or did you like taunt them? I wouldn't taunt them, but... Sorry, what happened? I imagine you took the pathway in. You could climb into it, but you know, you probably kept your distance and didn't want

to like close yourself in, I would think, especially by yourself. So you took the long pathway around, which is where I have you stationed on the map right now, that's more of an indication. If you say like, no, we want to come in from the walls, you can roll some athletics checks and whatnot. Or if you want to come in from multiple sides, we can do that. Don't take that for a road where you are right now.

But let's say you took the path. Maybe we're like, oh, there, fellas, give me a talk. And the minute you got near them, they turned on you with an obvious attack pose. And then you just maybe backed off, and the minute you pulled out of the quarry, they did not pursue you. This is right here in the center, this is the ramp.

It goes up over. Yeah, in the center, the ramp goes up to the top of that tower So this top of the tower is actually 30 feet off the ground so they walk up the ramp Mm-hmm from the other side of this tower area this wooden platform. That's also 30 feet up Yeah, that's 30 feet up and right now. It's not there, but like when it comes in. That's what it looks like Oh, that's what it looks like when it comes in yeah, so and right now it's not there but like when it comes in that's what it looks like Oh, that's what it looks like when it comes in. Yeah, so that platform when it's not there. There's nothing there But when it comes in they load it and then it takes off again I'm wondering if it looks possible from like the edge of the quarry ridge wall

like at the top of the map as I'm watching like the carts go back and forth. Does it look like you can maybe jump into one? Oh totally it's not impossible but you know what your two options I mean you'd have to roll a leap action but if you I think the there's a point where it's ten feet yeah there's a point where it's ten feet but if anyone fails I could mirror myself in there Yeah, and you could teleport in there basically if you if you time it where it's like The thing is that the thing is in and you wait until it's just ready to take off again You could all roll leap actions to get there or use other means but anyone that fails will be left behind

I'm guessing that and fall into the quarry Brother Ramsey, I'm guessing that... And fall into the quarry. Brother Ramies, I'm guessing you are much for leaping. I'm afraid not. I wish I was younger. I could have done that easily, but... Brother Ramies. Yes? You look great.

That's not true, but thank you. I mean, so maybe one of the things we can do is stage a distraction. I don't think I can make that joke. Oh, right, Hubert. I'm a little worried, but you know what I can do. Fly! No, you can't. Can you fly, Hubert?

Flying right now. Oh, right, right, right. You know what fly, oh, I forgot he's. How many of the mushrooms did you take? Six. What? Six mushrooms. I haven't made it yet. Perhaps, huddle up, huddleuddle up. All right. I don't have an idea but I do those of us that cannot leap Could make a run for it when ten is a ten feet there is a place where it is ten on the left side

It's automatic isn't it? Like I think you'll ten feet is automatic. Yeah, you only have to make a check if it's more than We could only have to make a check if it's more than that. We could only get to... Yeah, there is a spot where it's 10 feet and it would be automatic, right? So let's just do that. Yeah. As it's leaving. And I'll... you and I can teleport.

I'll teleport. We don't have to do... we can go to the other side. I can go to the 15 foot side. I can go to the 15 foot side too and we can make room at the 10 foot side for other people. Um... Yeah, and then you guys... I was gonna say... It's 15 feet. So I think the left one is the one that comes in right here. 10 feet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't. So some of

you would have to find other means, right? Yeah. So two of us can teleport and you guys can do, you could do the jump if it's automatic. I think we should have Hubert distract the golems of people. What's that? Oh Asta, you're so bad. What? Asta, that would be killing him for sure. Just leave him here? What?

I agree. No, I agree. No, I'm saying, Hubert, you- The head talk is tripping on Lucentia. You could- Asta. Ingrateate yourself. When did you get a sister? How many of me do you see?

Takes. What? So you were talking to five of her when you asked, when did you get a sister? Quiet down, madam. What were you going to say, Brother Mimmy? I think the distraction plan is brilliant. What is the plan for him to then get in the gondola? Well, he wouldn't have to get in the gondola. He would wait for us to return. By himself in this jungle.

Tripping walls, as it said. I'm sorry, Asta, I can't leave him for dead. Sadly, neither can I. Neither can I. I'm sorry I even said it. I could, I could have. I thought of it too, but I couldn't think of a way to get him into the gondola after the distraction.

Perhaps we could tie a rope to him. I could stage a distraction. I don't think we'll need it with this plan. Alright, let's see if we'll need it. Oh, with your double that you did? Look, we've got two people, hold on, we've got two people on the right side that can, that don't need a roll. Then we've got, maybe, then we've got two people on the other side that can get there without a roll basically because there's two,

there's three spots to grab on the gondola? There's only three, only three people can make the jump. And then one person would have to roll for a long jump? No, somebody else can jump 15 feet. What I'm saying is like three people can get there for free. Right. Everybody else has to make a roll. Make a check. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, how can three people get there for free?

Because there's three. Oh, no, excuse me. He's like one jump, next jump, next jump. Yeah, because of the speed with which this thing moves, you know, you get the, if you time it exactly. You go one, two, three, and then you filled up that side of the gondola. F filled up that side of the gondola Filled up that side of the gondola everybody else would have to stay you could yeah

Yeah, everybody else has to roll to try and time it all at the same time, right? So three of us can get on for free two of you can get there for free with your abilities So we're good, and there's still one more. It's Hubert. There's Hubert, but I mean couldn't you hold him? Hubert? He's tiny. How does it work? I can't take it with me I don't think it specifically says I can't what's the ability dimensional assault? I don't think it's intended to I'm guessing It's certainly not intended to work though. It's not intended to work that way But many things are not intended to be used as they're used yeah, but Hubert is somebody said it is a perfect example the last medium-sized creep.

He's medium? He's medium? You're a mirror. You could tie him to a rope and hold the rope. Mirror over, and then as we pull away, he'll be dangling for a second, but then you can just pull him up. That's true. You could do the same thing with you guys too, just leave him on the side of the cliff.

I said tie him to a rope, yeah. Tie him to a rope. I know, but we got enough to do the leap. You're just literally gonna appear on the other side holding the rope. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if that would work. I'll tie him to a rope, I'll hold the rope, and I'll Dimensional Assault.

Will you blink out of existence? So I think that I... I would let go of the rope. Yeah, I think... But I don't let go of my katana. Well, your katana is good. Some of those leaps could just be holding the rope. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

All right, fine. Keep in mind, the intention isn't for you to break the encounter here, the situation. The intention is for there to be some rolls and some risk. Yeah. But I think we figured out how to get around it. I'd have to roll a DC 15 long jump check. No, I think Troy's saying three of us can do that.

Oh wait. One, two, three. I can't use my dimensional assault. You have to do a strike at the end. Teleport to any square in range that's within reach of a creature. Oh, that makes sense. And then make a melee strike against one creature

within your reach. What's your athletics? I can make the jump. I can still jump. My athletics is not bad at all. It'd be a DC 15. I think I feel comfortable doing that. And you have a bottle cap. I don't have a bottle cap.

So Hubert, Buggles, Ramious take the free jump. Telemethy. Barnes. Barnes. Telemeth, Thea, Thea. Barnes. Barnes. Telemethy. Telemachus. Barnes, teleport? I'm gonna use my mirror, so basically I'll mirror. Oh, you mirror yourself over there. And then I'll just move from the second position.

And then you two roll. Yeah. All right, so what's the plan if they fall? Let's tie them to, let's tie them to a rope. We're gonna have to take that as a course. We'll have to climb out of the quarry and try Again, yeah from where we are it'd be gone Yeah, but we'll have to try on the next on the next yeah We hide and wait keep in mind falling into the quarry you have every reason to believe will trigger

Yeah, these creatures coming out. It's extremely deadly and it'll be a two-on-two They've got bottle caps if they roll that poorly. We're just gonna have to deal with it. Yeah Are there any other option is fight the creatures, so I don't think we can do that. So it's up to you guys. It could kill you, but it's a low chance. It's not a low chance. Even with a bottle cap, it'll fail.

I say let's do it. It's certainly fun and it's different. It's different. I'll tell you what. One, at least, potentially more, will die if we fight these things. That's what I'm saying. I don't want to get into the counter, but yeah You know the other option is to just like kind of Fight him like just as we run up there, but they're gonna block the way

I mean theoretically Good Zephyr just be standing just outside the range of their aggro area and just firing at them? And shoot them repeatedly. Would they come out of the quarry at that point to fight her? That's an interesting theory. I have my video game logic. Like stand just a little far back. Or no, we can just stand up the side of the walls.

I mean, I can do range too, and we can just hit them. If they walk over to the walls, they'll then climb up the walls and be on us, unless they're programmed to not do that, but I don't know. I say let's try the jump. I wanna try the jump. I think it makes the most sense, logically, for our characters too, to try to do this. Let them go.

Why don't we try to jump first, and then you guys do your magic stuff. If you're already on, that makes sense. I kinda ask this, okay? Everybody does it at the same time. Speed it with these things, move, everybody will. You would have a chance to be like we got to go save them and you guys could jump down sure okay? Okay, it's 30 feet though keep that in mind. It's a 30 foot fall prone, and then it's a 30 foot Purposeful jump so three reflex save to try and all that stuff so 3d6 damage

I can't I'll look at no it's like more than that one first 10 doesn't count and then I think it's... No, it's... I treat falzah as ten feet shorter. Wow! It's just straight, it's like five, is it five for every ten? Five for the half, half the distance you fell but the first ten doesn't count or something like that. Alright, well if we get there, we're not gonna fall. Alright. We have caps. We have caps. Alright, well let's see what happens. Let's see what happens. Come let's see what happens. So yeah, so I will go and stand on the eastern side. I'm talking through the eventual plan. Barnes will stand on the eastern side, right here at the corner by the flowers. Where it would be a 15 foot mirror.

I think actually, the way it works, I don't think I'm, I'll look this up, but I think the movement of the gondola will take care, will break the illusion almost immediately. Yeah, and you have to choose which one is you and you'll just choose the one on the gondola. And then- You're going to get 25 points of damage if you fell and 15 for you. 25 points of damage if she falls. Yeah.

Will you heal me the rest of the way? How many hit points do you have? I only have 23 right now and I could have 26 total. Will you just like heal me again? I'm sorry, that's not correct. If you fall more than 5 feet when you land you take bludgeoning damage equal to half the distance you fell. So it would be 15 points of damage and 5 for you. With the whole minus 10 feet thing? Yeah, 15 minus 10. Right? Yeah, we've been surve five for you. With the whole minus 10 feet thing?

Yeah, 15 minus 10. Yeah, we've been surveilling for hours. Oh, minus 10. No, it's 10 damage for you, because you minus 10 off the top and then have that 30 minus 10, 20. Yeah. Half to 10. All right.

So yeah, and are you gonna make the jump from, so you two, you and Buggles are gonna make the jump from the western side. Along with? Hubert. And Hubert. And Costa the jump from the western side. Along with Hubert. And Hubert. And Masta will go to the eastern side. With me. And I'll go to the eastern also.

So it's, okay. Great. I suppose we should place ourselves on the map and see how this craziness looks. As far up as I can go. You see the creatures just watching. They're watching us? They watch and they go back to work. It's kinda.

So weird. These little, you know, warps staring up at you. And they go back. Oh, oh. Sk8dai, I appreciate your attention to Varus and Militude. Yeah. We all just jumped ourselves when we wanted to go. Buggles walked 20 feet at a time.

Walked the whole way. Yeah, Buggles, stand behind me. You'll come in right after me on that same lip so that you don't have to roll. OK. All right, so. And then as we get over there, Brother Ramious is going to like, this wasn't part of the plan, but he's just going to look around

and like, a little erratic, a little drained. He's going to be like,'s gonna be like take this put it around your waist and he's gonna give you a rope to tie around your waist even though it's like a desperate effort he's gonna try to like catch you if he has to okay he ties a little knot around his waist he's like I'm going to hold this end and you so you don't fall just in case just in case you'll be fine What about me? I'm out of rope

Hey you can use my oil bath Oh it's for me Alright Thing comes right on time The stone creatures walk to the top of the platform Start loading it up one by one. Back and forth, back and forth. Five minutes, six and a half minutes.

Platform takes off again as they descend back into the quarry. Oh my God. Gets to the point where you can jump. Just starts to go. As soon as it starts moving. Hubert take their freebies. Woof, woof, woof.

Barnes. Yeah. As soon as it starts moving, Barnes goes. OK. And then he'll move to give some space as they're all jumping. OK. Here's how it works for a long jump.

A DC 15 athletics check. You leap up to a distance. On a success, you leap up to the distance equal to your check. Res check result rounded down to the nearest five. All you need is 15 feet. You just need a DC 15. Anything above and beyond that is gravy. You can't jump further than your land speed, which is fine. Failure, you make a normal horizontal leap, which will be 10 feet and you would fall into the quarry. There's no catching edge. We can't... There's no edge 10 feet away.

No, because you own... There's no edge 10 feet away. Oh, there's no edge 10 feet away Okay, and then critical failure It's in this instance. You're falling into a pit. It's all bad. So just roll So 15 or higher do I have to offer my battle cap now I can wait. Okay. All right All right, who's first the next time you're dying you might want that guy. No, I'll do it first natural 18 Next time you're dying, you might want that guy. I don't know. I'll do it first. Natural 18. Yes! All right. Zephyr backs up, run jumps, does it with ease.

Yep. Surprisingly. Summer salts in the air, she goes. Oh. Fly away all my self-love. Wait, wait, wait. Is it athletics? Yeah.

15. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Wow. If it was acrobatics, it would have been a 14. I'm the opposite. Athletics.

My acrobatics is one more. I got nervous, I got sweaty. You did, I saw it in your face. I was like, oh no, we're down to the cap. My dice know when I get sweaty, and then they roll back. Like I did it so confidently, so then you go and you're like almost miss.

I stumble, I like trip right at the edge, like a little bit of the ground, the soft ground gives away, but I make it in. Oh my God, that was amazing. Perfectly. Oh my God. Just on the edge. It's so simple, but so tense.

Yeah, yeah. Like honestly. Oh my God, so tense. It's amazing. And you just watch, they look up at you with their faceless orbs and just go right back to work preparing the next batch and you begin. Taking the gondola!

Amazing, amazing. You know what, I mean these creatures are right out of Dark Souls. Like that's what it feels like. It's a weird Dark Souls creature. I feel like we shouldn't destroy them. It's real slow, it has a moon for a head. And that's how I know we should not fight them. They're doing work.

We're about to end up negotiating with a bunch of alien elves. We probably don't want to kill their golems. Yeah. They're just doing their job too. Yeah. I definitely feel for these emotionless golems. Yeah, they're just programmed. I love it.

The jungle drops away in this 20 foot square gondola full of rocks and six people. So it's 20 foot square. So you've got you've got some room on there But you might want to kick these rocks off just to have a little yeah What are the right can we look at what these rocks are they anything they are good? They're like it's not like they're glowing but they definitely look like precious Rocks, I don't know if any of you I'm gonna I'm gonna pocket a few like a small chunks if there's any small chunks Yeah, they're like I don't know enough about geodes and whatnot, but there is a color amethyst Yeah, there's they're like a purpley blue ish hue on there and

Obviously, they're being taken for some reason they look to be important They're being shipped or the pyramids being built out of these it doesn't quite look like a small fragment I pocket as many as I can okay, that's just shit. That's just pockets as much as possible floor drops way she's a Was it pasta overburdened? Over and covered as we're like moving through the wind of this thing brother Amos is like Oster Take care. We don't know what we're going to find on the other side. You're right, there could be more. They may not take kindly to you taking their stones. Well how would they know?

Well how would they know? She's gonna do what she wants. I don't know why you're bothering. I just want her to be aware that she may put herself in an imposition she cannot. Well how would they know that I've taken the stones? They're bulging out of every pocket you have. Are we even on Galarian anymore? You look comical. You just picked a mushroom and almost died. What do you want? And now you're stealing rocks?

Do you have a problem with me, Sephiroth? I do have a problem with you. Wait, really? Yeah. Oh, shit. What is the problem? I think you're selfish. Oh. No, she didn't. I didn't... I didn't know that.

I was supposed to go into the orbs. I'm the least powerful person in this party. You see me struggle since we've gotten here, and you took my spot. Are the six of you gonna take that? And now you're just walking around, taking advantage of the situation, picking mushrooms, stealing rocks.

Zephyr, I didn't- It's ridiculous. I didn't know that you even wanted to go in the orbs. You didn't say anything. I went in because, well, Talitha offered and- I was about to go in. And you just think of things that you want in the moment. Well... and you just think of things that you want in the moment. Well, yes, I do think of things that I want in the moment

because I also want to survive. And if you don't and you want to leave, then maybe you should. She turns and walks away as far as she can. She had to leave the- She just walked off. She had to leave the gond as she can and was gone. She just walks off into the gondola. Asta walks off. To the other corner. Leans over and looks out into the jungle.

Asta puts more rocks in her robe. Selfish egotistical fox. I didn't know that she was mad at me. I wouldn't have gone in the orbs and I didn't even get anything. I just got two different colored eyes. Sorry. Sorry. Asta. What?

Can I ask you a question? Fine! What do you want with the rocks? Exactly. She has all these rocks. What do you mean? How are they going to help you? What's your plan? What's your plan with the rocks?

Why does she have so many rocks in her hand? Well we could, I could sell them Where? To the very people you stole them from There's no one else here I would say I would sell them I would sell them back in Taldor

or when we get back to Golarion Asa, if it's money you need we can take care of it Tal'dor or... I just clamp my hand. When we get back to Golarion. Asta, if it's money you need. If it's money you need. We can take care of it. I don't need money, I want it. She'll need money, she'll need money. I put a rock in Hubert's mouth.

Fine, I won't take the rocks. Do you want them? No, thank you. I'm fine. Well then I will take them. If you don't want them, I'll have them. Thanks. And she's like burying her teeth a little bit. Just stuffing the rocks into her robes. Buggles, a little trembling hand like he picks up a rock and hands it to you.

And then she, her teeth, like her face kind of relaxes. She takes the rock. I suppose I don't need these many, this, yeah, it's a lot of rocks actually. Thank you, Buggles. You can actually have this rock. Thank you. She takes a few out of her robe now and puts them back on the cart. And she only has a few rocks in her pockets. Who knows? We may meet these elves and they could have little use for the rocks. They may want us to take them. We don't know. But as long as we don't know, I think it's safe to not steal. Perhaps you're right. I will only take what is not visible in my robes, so they will not know that I have taken anything. And she smiles.

And that is the moral choice. Yes. And she giggles and smiles and puts just two rocks in her pockets. It's not a crime if you're getting away with it. How long is this ride? You're about five minutes in because you've been chatting. That's a long ass call. Yeah, the pyramids are pretty far away.

You timed it. You couldn't see when they left, so you couldn't quite tell how many platforms there were. Maybe at a certain point another one passes you after like a half an hour of traveling and you start flying through the air, these sizzling, heatless, lightning lights above you and then the thick tree canopy fills the region for miles around. You've got a bird's eye view, but you're just looking down at the tops of trees, the top of the jungle as the pyramid

and this society perhaps is, you know, getting closer and closer. To the northwest is this mountain range and the pyramid city. And you're just sitting atop this 20 foot square wooden platform, thick cables connected to these lightning things 15 feet above and the only safeguard protecting you from like falling over is like a one foot high lip around the platform's edge it's very small because it's meant to carry

rocks not people so you go down the pyramids. Everyone hang on to something. Ever closer. Hubert being weird and high. You get about an hour or so into the journey and you're almost halfway there. My god. Jeez.

Yeah, it's far. And all of you hear a sound pierce the air. It's like a scream or a shriek. It's like, ah! And immediately a second one like responding to the first one. Yeah! Roger Daltrey. Well that's not scary.

Top of the eagle. No, Roger Daltrey. Yeah, Roger Daltrey. Who that's not scary. Top an eagle. Roger Daltrey. Yeah, Roger Daltrey. Ooh. Oh, thank you. Thank you, that was so bad. Oh. Good one.

You look to the sky at the source of this sound that is echoing throughout the world here. Ah! And suddenly two large flying creatures come into view this is insane Edges there's no No roof one foot high one for the rocks at I can you guys see that image It looks pretty cool unicorn

No, it's a pterodactyl corn roll for initiative This is ridiculous. How do they even know we're on? Orsache yet, God They're coming in and they're hungry. Okay, what did you get Zephyr? Uh, 18. 18 for Zephyr. Yeah, roll Hewbritts. And what about Brother Ramious?

21 for Brother Ramu. Okay, are you still drained? Mmm, sure. You remember how you still drained? Mm, sure. You remember how you got drained from that crit? Yeah, yeah, I'm drained. That lasts until a full night's rest. Yeah, and you have no say. All right, so you're still drained, want to keep that in mind?

I kept it in mind. And what did you roll? I'm sorry? 21. 21. OK, pretty good. Asta? 11.

Bugles? 8. Asta? Eleven. Buggles? Eight. Eight for Buggles. Okay, and finally, Bonds. Eighteen. Eighteen for Bonds. Bonds! Encounter has begun,

and this will be in Theater of the Mind. This sucks. I'm so angry and I hate theater. So much theater. So much theater. All right, it's Flying John one's turn. Flying John number one will have some fun here. It is going to, let me just see here, yeah.

All right, so two actions swoop, which means it will fly up to its speed and make one beak strike at one of you. Let's see who that person's gonna pick. Including Hubert. Including Hubert. Including Hubert. Yeah, D6.

One, two, three, four, five, six. Yep. Oi! Oi! Six. Oh! Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh my god! That is the greatest roll! Oi! Six. Oh! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes! Oh, that is the greatest roll! Yes! Oh my god, that's so sweet. On the GCP, die! On the GCP, Troy! Oh, thank god. Die.

You roll high, and that's what you get. You always roll high. Alright, so this thing comes down with its beak. Uh... Let me check. Natural two. Yeah, right? What do you know? Weird one.

Just hits Hubert's AC. Yes! That's so mean. All right. We didn't cause these creatures to attack us. Hubert is going to take 12 points of piercing damage. And one non-crit hit, 12 points. Brutal.

You said he has hit points too, right? He's got, you got all his stats. Got a whole stat block. Okay, he does have hit points. He is still, how about I say 13 points of damage? You said 12. 12. 12 points of damage. All right, he's still up.

We can round it to 13. He is still up. It's pretty to round up. Round up to the nearest odd number. All right, so. The nearest prime. Round up to the nearest prime. I know he's dead. So swoops down two actions gets a free beak strike. Let me make sure that's a free beak strike. Makes one beak strike. That's part of the two action

thing. As a free action it then attempts to pluck Hubert off of the John. This is going to be an athletics check against Hubert's 4-2 DC. How would any of us survive it? Natural 20. Oh my! It grabs Hubert and throws him off the platform. Oh my God!

And we'll see you next week. Oh my God! Wait, that was too much! That was too much! Back it up! I didn't want that! That was awesome! What are you talking about? You just hear the audience going

YEEEAAAHH! I'm flying! I'm flying! So high right now. Oh god! Natural 20! So high right now. So high right now. Oh God. Natural 20. Holy shit. It's time to make your membership official. Become an official member of the Naish today at JoinTheNaish.com.

That's JoinTheNaish.com, where you'll get access to exclusive podcasts and live streams you can't find anywhere else. See what everybody's talking about and join the nation today at jointhenation.com. Welcome to a journey into the heart of the Texas Renaissance Festival, the nation's largest and rowdiest celebration of medieval fantasy. But what lurks beneath the facade of tights and turkey legs? Well, we dove deep into the empire to uncover a history marred by mystery and misconduct, murders, assaults, and other crimes that tarnish its legacy. This isn't just a fairy tale, it's a cautionary tale of power, fantasy, and the consequences that follow when they all collide. Search for Crime Waves Renaissance Texas on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you're

listening now.