The Glass Cannon Podcast - Gatewalkers Episode 40 – Star Check: Cursed Contact

Episode Date: June 21, 2024

The heroes make contact with a curious society of elves. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/vsx6Lrao574 This episode was sponsored by Demiplane, Foundry VTT and Norse Foundry. Check out Demiplane's Pathfinder Nexus and character creation tools at https://bit.ly/GCNOfficialTools See why tabletop gamers everywhere have made the switch to Foundry Virtual Tabletop at https://foundryvtt.com/gcp For all your random number-generating needs, visit Norse Foundry at https://norsefoundry.com This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/GCN and get 10% off your first month. For a limited time, use code "GCN" to get a free gift with your Journey Pack! Head to https://tryfum.com and use code "GCN" to get a free gift with your order today. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for hundreds of hours of exclusive shows and benefits, make your membership official and join Glass Cannon Nation today by becoming a subscriber at jointhenaish.com. Watch new episodes when they premiere every Thursday at 8PM ET on youtube.com/theglasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by FX's The Bear on Disney Plus. In season three, Carmy and his crew are aiming for the ultimate restaurant accolade. A Michelin star with Golden Globe and Emmy wins, the show starring Jeremy Allen White, I.O.A. Debris and Mattie Matheson is ready to heat up screens once again. All new episodes of FX's The Bear are streaming June 27, only on Disney Plus. You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast.

As Hubert gets down about 20 feet, he's surrounded by this purple glowing light, as Hubert gets down about 20 feet. Bwomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomom It's good to have you back. Thank God, I was so afraid. They are a specific type of pterodon known as a cliff hunter. Barnes is going to, first action, exploit vulnerability. Natural 20. Natural 20! And it falls from the sky.

The one remaining creature flies away. How far does it look like we are from the village? You think you'll be there by sunset. Glancing over to Zephyr. What are you doing? I wanted to apologize for how I acted earlier. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Sorry I mean to you. And I really look up to you. And I really look up to you and I would like to be your friend. Okay let's start over. Okay let's start over. Starting from now. Starting now. There's a lot of feelings all at once. Okay. The platform is nearing a pyramid civilization being built. Your approach has not gone unnoticed. A rather large crowd of elves has gathered, just watching expectantly as the gondola pulls in to the docking station.

The adventure continues... now. Good evening everybody and welcome back to the Glass Cannon Podcast. You know what? This show is expensive. So I'm going to start the show by thanking our sponsors who make this barely happen. Foundry VTT, the best virtual tabletop, the only virtual tabletop worth their salt in this industry. Norse Foundry make the best dice in the game. You're buying dice from another manufacturer? What is wrong with you? You'd have to be insane, literally, clinically insane to use

any other die. He said it. And of course, Demiplane. But we wouldn't be doing our job if we weren't constantly trying to court new sponsors. And so this is week one of us trying to get the attention of a new sponsor. We talked about it a little bit last week. Hi Noon! Hey Hi Noon! How many actual play podcasts do you sponsor? Shout out to CJ on the ones and twos back there who ran out and picked us up two cases

of these. These are the, I was talking about these last week, real tequila plus real juice. Let's pass them out. Strawberry, lime, grapefruit or passion fruit? What do you guys want? I'll do strawberry. Strawberry. Here's a lime for Joe. That's hilarious. or passion fruit? What do you guys want? Wow. I'll do strawberry. Strawberry. Jinx.

Uh. Here's a lime for Joe. Joe, give me a lime. That's hilarious. Uh. The lime is good. Matthew was talking last week about the tequila high noon. I've never had one.

Like a Paloma? I've never had. Oh, yeah. Oh, love a good Paloma. Yeah, it's a good idea. And then who said passion fruit? Yeah, no one said passion fruit. All right, I'll have the passion fruit.

Being a passionate man. Kate still hasn't made a decision. And the ladies want strawberry. And Matthew as well. Oh, so the ladies want strawberry. I think I want a grapefruit. We're having a good time. You want a grapefruit?

Nice. Nice. Wow, that works out. Enjoy that. That works out too. I'm short, I can't reach it. Well, friends here, I'll just stand up. This is strawberry for Matthew and strawberry for Sydney.

What about me? Kate, what do you want? Grapefruit please. Grapefruit action. Wow. It's gonna explode in my face, isn't it? We haven't even drank them yet, and Joe has yanked his headphones out.

There's trash all over the table. Are my ears bleeding? Yeah, are my ears bleeding? Hey, let's try these out. Blanco tequila with real fruit juice, sparkling water, and natural flavors. Nooners! Are you playing RPGs with your friends?

Hope you're doing it with a Nooner in hand. Cheers. It's got to be high noon somewhere. Oh! Oh, that's quite good. They really put passion in that fruit. That is quite good. Holy shit, that's good.

Oh my god, it's so good. I would have drunk 20 of these. I would love if they sponsored us. Makes shit, that's good. Oh my god, it's so good. I'd have drunk 20 of these. I would love if they sponsored us. Makes me think of the summer. I've been trying to get a liquor sponsor for no less than five years. It would be way worse at math if they sponsored us. I think it's good that we're not sponsored

by any liquor companies. We're gonna clip this, we'll unclip that part. We'll clip this, send it to the Nooner people. I just returned from the doctor and. Shouldn't have more liquor. Shouldn't be drinking this. Cut to Dr. Jonathan P. Nooner sitting in his office, watching this clip of us.

What is he a doctor of? Doctor of passion. Anyways, that was delicious. I like the idea of a medical doctor, a professional medical doctor that's just like, I highly recommend High Noon. Yeah. It spells your cue zone with pure goodness.

Pure cue zone. Yeah, no, this is nice. I love when we stay in the studio long enough or start late enough where two o'clock isn't too early. It's not. I was like, here we go. But two on a weekday isn't too early. Literally called high noon.

Yeah, this is a mountain time high noon. Yeah. Mountain time high noon. I didn't want to play, I just want to drink these. Let me ask you guys, before the show, I mentioned that it kind of smelled funny in the studio. And I said, it kind of smells like a wet beaver. And Joe was like, whoa, whoa.

And I was like, what, like the animal? And you went to a real dark place. No, I didn't. I believe if I quoted accurately, I said, you should say that on air. And then you did. And then we'll talk about it. And then it happened.

I was assuming the animal, but then we just we kind of got it. It's very, very strange. You said something specific that like made it sound. You knew what you were doing. I did. You're a that like, made it sound. You knew what you were doing. I did. You were a horrible person. You were smiling. You knew what you were doing. It's a funny phrase,

but if you, have you ever smelled a wet beaver? No. Dude, they don't, of all the animals here. God damn it. A wet mongoose? What is it? What's the thing a beaver has?

It's like the gland. Oh, it has the oil, like the oiled skin. That's what it smells like. No, that is not what you're talking about. Yeah, like the oiled skin. That's what it smells like. No, that is not what you're talking about. Yeah, it does. That's what it smells like. Ah! I just wonder how much of like Hubert, like, falls into Troy

and how much of Troy like falls into Hubert, because Hubert wouldn't know what that means or what a beaver is or anything. Is something wrong with that? Yeah, but Troy does. Yeah, is Hubert Troy distilled or Troy in a hierarchy? Amplified. It smells like a wet animal in here.

And I immediately went to beaver. Which is weird. Like of all the animals to pick, it smells like a wet dog that smells. It's stinky. I haven't heard anyone use that term. Beavers, they live in pond. They're wet all the time.

It smells like a wet dolphin in here. It's like, what? That doesn't smell like a wet fish. It. It's like, what, that doesn't smell. It smells like a wet fish. It'd be weird if it were dry. Right. I will say, when I went, I was, I told this off air, but I went camping.

And what happened? I'm just thinking about a restaurant advertising wet fish. Hot fish. What is fish in town? What is fish in town? For your 1999, your fish will be soaked. Our chicken is so dry.

Water has never touched this chicken. My fish gets so wet. As soon as you said wet beaver, I had like a flash memory in my head because I went camping in the UP. And we were driving through Wisconsin. And we stopped in like these teeny tiny towns, like population 50 people, random off the highway, like super far out.

That's terrifying. It was a little weird. Very close. We don't get many people from around here. Oh, and it's like they could smell it on us. Like we'd walk into a store and they would be like, city folk. We were like, oh God. But we stopped at this town that was really quaint, really cute.

It had a diner called the Mountain Dew Diner. And it literally was like the Mountain Dew logo. That's all they served. Wow. And the word diner. And I was like. You just exposed that diner to a copyright infringement.

I'm sorry to the small town. Could you imagine if you just brought them down just now? Ignore that, this is all a joke. Somebody on the Mountain Dew legal team happens to be a big Glass Cannon fan, and they're like, wait, what? They're like, that's really funny. Fire off a cease and desist.

That's really funny, contacting my lawyers. But there was a bar there called the Thirsty Beaver. And they had this logo that was like a beaver, like a cartoon beaver with a beer. And me and my friends were like, we got to go to the Thirsty Beaver. And it turns out they had merch for this bar. They knew what they were doing.

Maybe not. And the shirt said on the back. Maybe it was an honest mistake. Huge lettering. Maybe it was too pure for this world. Drink beer, eat Beaver. And we bought about five of those shirts. I bet you did.

They sold underwear too. Wink. Wow. It's one of my prized possessions. I think it's so funny. That's too on the nose. They don't literally take that the wrong way. Now, eat beaver.

Like, do they serve beaver at this restaurant? There's no double entendre. It's just a single entendre. They're just telling you what. Right. But it's a disagree with the message. I'm just saying. It's like half an entendre.

I don't object to their politics. I'm not even clear. Come on disagree with the message. I'm just saying like half an entendre. I don't object to their politics Board with the message In that town you should head to the Mountain Dew diner and then eat some beaver Yeah, except you can't have the beaver because they don't serve it It's a single time to find your own in town and there will be no Mountain Dew diner by the end of this one You brought him down It's hard to find your own in town. And there will be no Mountain Dew Diner by the end of this one. Oh no. You brought them down. Nice work.

Mountain Dew. Nooner. Nooner. I wish I was on hole eight right now. Like I just want to be golfing, having some nooners. Now you went right to dirt town again. No, I thought you were talking about some weird diet

you were doing. What was the one you were doing? The whole eight diet. I had the whole same. talking about some weird diet you were doing. There are only eight foods that I can say now. What's the whole eight octopus you only eat. You'll need either. You'd be shocked at how many calories. The whole eight days It is a beaten beaver. It's new. Man, this show is different than any other show. Does anyone actually eat beaver?

Is it endangered or gross or gamey or... I would not feel right eating a beaver. I'm going to Google it. Don't Google it, eat beaver. Yeah, be careful how you Google it. I'm curious. I've never heard of... How to eat a beaver. Yeah, Native Americans have been Google it. Don't Google it, eat beaver. Yeah, be careful how you Google. I'm curious. I've never heard of it.

How to eat a beaver. Yeah, Native Americans have been eating beavers since the 1400s. It's usually slow-cooked in a broth. Well, look at this picture. It's a beaver being filleted. That's a filleted beaver. Also, you can eat beaver tail. Karen must be taken to prevent contamination

from the animal's strong castor, castor glam. Right, that you especially you smell when they're wet. Is that, is that where we get? Do you smell when they're wet? Smell when they're wet. Castor oil from? No. Oh.

No, it's not. Oh, they got ven, oh look at this. They got all sorts of recipes. So scary. I looked this up once. Oh, okay, okay. I feel like you'd be eating a lot more beaver. Recipes for beaver, wow.

I guess you can also eat beaver tail. Oh God, they look horrible. Which seems kind of crazy. It seems like it would be really tough, but you roast it for 20 minutes. Huh. That's it. Meat's meat.

Meat's meat. Beast's beef. Or early French-Canadian Catholics considered beaver to be a four-legged fish that could be eaten in Lent. Anything to cheat. Sorry, who were they? Anything to cheat God. Anything to cheat God.

Four-legged fish. This is a fish, right? It's a shoe. It's a ditty. I was Wikipedia, so let's check the source on this. Did I tell you about the calm cookbook? Yes. I told you about the calm cookbook.

Calm? Calm. You already did that. Oh, yeah, no. You cookbook semen recipes. We gave know that. Oh, yeah, no. Cookbook. Yes. Seamen recipes.

We gave it as a cast gift to our director. We used to give funny gifts. But it's a real cookbook. Real cookbook. You may like semen flan. Ew. And semen shepherd's pie. Semen with a beaver reduction.

You got Francis. Semen au poivre with a beaver reduction. You got Francis. Seaman O'Pwaave with a beaver reduction. Anyways, Google it. Jesus. This is going to be Off the Rails tonight. It already is. And we've already started. I'm just going to take a quick break while we get back on the rails, and we'll see you in just a moment.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. This year is flying by. I mean, we're already more than halfway through at this point, and there's still so much that I want to accomplish this year, and I'm sure you do as well. When life moves this fast, it's important to take a moment to celebrate your wins, though, and all the things you have accomplished so far in the year, and then make adjustments for the rest of the year. And therapy can help you take stock of your progress and set achievable goals for the next six months. Now, I will state my position just to get it on the record, though I have said it before. I am four healthy brains.

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Visit BetterHelp.com slash GCN today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp.com slash GCN. Welcome back, you crazy beefs. Once I saw Joe go straight into reclined drinking mode. There was no way. I was like, my God, you crazy beef. You did it so fast. Welcome back, you crazy beef. We are back. We've already talked about our sponsors and our new sponsor,

Dr. Noon. Dr. Noon. You're watching? Hello, I'm Dr. Noon. Dr. Noon. We like fucking it up, right? This is going to be a fun, interesting app. I'm going to do something, I think,

that we've never done on the Glass Cannon podcast before until you tell me that now we've done this. Okay. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. That makes me more excited. Yeah, I know. You were kind of like... At first I was like a little down. You weren't excited? No. I do like the vibe, the image that we had last week of a whole group of elves just are standing there waiting for us to arrive.

It's a cool image. I just don't want to play it. I just want to watch it like a movie. Because I'm like, what am I going to say to these people? I get exhausted by role playing with a, like, a, ah. A group of elves? Have us do the heavy work. Exactly.

And it'll be great. It'll be great. You're the party face. No, I don't think I am. No, no. Well, I mean Have us do the heavy work. Exactly. And it will. And it'll be great. It'll be great. You're the party face. No, I don't think I am. No, no. Well, I mean, I'm the half elf. Maybe I'll fall. Yeah, exactly.

So like, I'm happy to. That's what I'm saying. I'm going to enjoy watching it. I just get nervous. It's really more nervous than anxiety. And Buggles speaks Elvis as well. Oh, nice. So does Barnes.

There you go. All right. Brother Ramey is going to take a back seat. So jump off right before we see him. Yeah, you're asleep anyway. He just woke up from a nap. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. He was napping missile jump off right before we you're in your sleep anyway. You just woke up from a nap Yeah, yeah, that's right. He was napping and maybe right before it pulls in he jumps off and hides in the foliage So that he can assassinate someone later

He jumps off it gets bounced back And loses ten hit points Well face slams it's the in the process. Yeah. Well. Face slams into the cup. Ugh! Last week had all the sort of earmark.

I'm trying to see if Hubert speaks Elvish. Maybe he could be the party. Hubert would speak Elvish? No. Just looking to see what he's like. We duct tape his mouth. Where are you even learning? He's been talking to a rock for years.

There's simply no way. Let me handle this. There's simply no way. I will speak to them. Well put. Hello! A guy that doesn't know the right words for things. There's simply no way. There's simply no way. I will speak to them. Well put. Hello. A guy that doesn't know the right words for things.

Last week, you survived a deadly encounter with these cliff hunter pterodons. I always want to say the P. Pterodons. Pterodons. Pterodons. Pterodactyls. We ended the previous week's episode with one of them swooping in, biting, grabbing Hubert and flinging him over the edge. Of course, there is some safety mechanism built into this powerful sort of outlandish

magic that is sending this gondola down across these purple light ropes that are not ropes and some safety mechanism built into it so that if you're thrown off, you're kind of whipped back up. But Hubert still took ten points of damage he was sickened to and luckily throughout the entire fight anytime I tried to land that hit on one of you guys I missed the one time I hit I failed on the athletics check to toss Buggles who would have most certainly after taking a crit I think you would have been knocked unconscious that's over 30 points

yeah so that could have got a lot hairy but you guys are getting stronger after taking a crit, I think you would have been knocked unconscious. That's over 30 points. So that could have got a lot hairy, but you guys are getting stronger. So— Or luckier. Or luckier, yes. Lucky sevens. We then see you guys kind of resting and talking. Zephyr and Asta kind of had a little moment there. And then as the sun is setting, you see that you're getting closer now and about to have the gondola land at these pyramids, but they aren't like this completed civilization, kind of like what they looked like when you were first looking at it when you first walked through that old gate.

You see that it's a civilization under construction. There are some completed pyramids. There are some completed buildingsids, there are some completed buildings, one of which has a huge telescope coming out of it. All of the completed buildings have at least small telescopes coming out of it. And you see a huge party of elves sort of gathering at the dock. That's where we pick up today. I mean, I don't even know. Tell me what's going through your head. If there's anything you want to do before this gondola kind of docks, because you would

think if it's anything like the top of the gondola, like it stops for a few minutes and then just returns. Is there anything you want to do as it's approaching? They're just looking at you. Should I do a knowledge check to think about jungle settings with large elven populations? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I'll just do an esoteric lore and take the- What's your John? With the penalty plus six.

Nothing really comes to mind. Large elven settlements are sort of a thing of the past. They left and came back and I'm not as up to date on my Galarian lore as other people at the table. But correct me if I'm wrong, there aren't a lot of large elven settlements now. But there's there's Keonan. Keonan. Like the the elvish nation. Yeah, so that there are. There are some, okay. Oh yeah, for sure.

But that is not a jungle area. No. Yeah. No. Yeah, so, a little strange, a little strange. I wonder, Asta thinks about maybe turning into a fox. That will definitely not unsettle me. Maybe it would.

They're like watching. Yeah, maybe they've already seen us. Okay, she doesn't turn into a fox. Yeah, they have already seen us. Yeah, they have. We've attracted a crowd. Seen you, they're watching and more and more just keep gathering. I'd like to do a perception immediately to get a sense of like what they're wearing.

Are they armed? Yeah, definitely. Are there a lot of weapons? A sense of their attitude. We wearing are they armed? Yeah? Their attitude around the horn yeah Yeah, that's the thing that no joke are there a dozen elves with arrows drawn pointed at our thing or are they just like oh? hi Nady 17 for Barnes nice 23 okay Anything higher than 23? Joe did well Nice bars. 23. Okay. Anything higher than 23?

Joe did well. What about a critical fumble? What would that net? You're leaning over the edge to try and get a better look and you fall. Ten points of damage you're sicking to. You got the jersey on for this. Yeah, that's true. Yes. You did exactly as it wanted. Old natural one.

There he is. If this was Call of Cthulhu, I would absolutely have you trip and fall while trying to look and take ten points It's very reasonable. Then you'd be dead What about you? I got a 12 12 8 so 18 but besides perception. I want to try a society role Okay, right I'm only gonna let you. Nope, nine. All right, so Barnes, maybe you've got the best eye side of the group or the most discerning eye.

They look wary, but more curious than threatening in the way that they're regarding you. I will kind of extend a slow, cautious hello wave. And some of them like return the gesture, but they're kind of unsure what they're doing when they return the gesture. You see their clothing appears practical, but it's of no immediately recognizable fashion. Loose robes, leather, maybe adventuring attire, essentially. Far more distinctive and arresting is their prolific jewelry.

It's a mixture of silver and gold, bangles, rings, necklaces, earrings, circlets and more. All bearing symbols, which you can't quite make up. But you can see there's very prominent symbols among the jewelry that they're wearing. If you get closer and wanna make a second check, let me know. The gondola comes in and they kind of give a berth

for you all, because they'd come up, and then as you're coming in, they slowly back off. Maybe out of fear, maybe out of being being polite Maybe ready to strike and kill you We have to get off pretty fast though. Yeah, it stops. It stops. Yeah, I remember you when you We waited just have to get it unloaded. All right. Yeah, so Barnes will look at the others and well Zephyr puts her bow away and tucks her hair behind her ears to expose her perhaps Yeah, and most slowly like hands where they can see them step off the platform. And Buzzo's like, Greetings in Elven.

May we approach a city? You dock, you say that, and they all begin talking at once. Those of you who speak, Elvin, which is he, Buggles, Zephyr and Barnes, you can hear what they're saying. It sounds like a different dialect. Their accent is a little weird, but you can understand they're saying like, welcome travelers. We mean you no harm. You are safe here welcome welcome welcome

it's all they were all kind of speaking at once but you're hearing those little phrases come in and out and then of course to Asta Hubert and Ramious it's just like noise um forgive us we've We've come a long way, and we know not exactly where we are. It's been a bit of an interesting journey, and we'd love to tell you about it. But could you maybe clue us into where we are right now? And some of them hear you, and then others keep talking, and then they notice that Ramius and Asta aren't understanding so a couple of them come directly up to you not threatening but they just start like like rattling through languages and you'll hear like draconic or something that you might speak what are some languages that you it's you know it's not in a and what about Ramius your conic your conics do

you hear draconic and they get that and then somebody cycles to something that's like adjacent to common. The words are very, very strange. And again, it's who are you? Who are you? What are you? And then suddenly in the midst of this, as someone is like going to answer your question, but also like looking like are they supposed speak, or is someone else supposed to answer it?

A beautiful, bronze-skinned female elf rushes forward through the crowd and speaks to all of you in common, and says, wait, wait, I know them. I know you, I know you, I know you, I know where you are from. You, come. Oh, I know where you are from. You, come. Oh, okay.

Come. Okay. And she grabs your hand and she pulls you over to a nearby telescope. She says, look. Okay. And she looks in the telescope. Look and she says, look, look at the bright star low in the darkening sky. Look, see?

Yeah. Yes. And you look through and you see a small bluish dot through the lens. Golarion, the blue planet, that is your world. What is this world? This is Castraveli. Yes!

Nailed it! That's what weroville. Yes! Nailed it! That's what we all do. Yes! You've heard of us. What? What? Brother Amius is astounded. No! I think Zephyr is like speechless.

Like she's just like... Did you say castor oil? Like a beaver's glance? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha beavers are often wet. Oh, yes, ours are. We call them the four-legged fish. Ours are constantly moist, the moistest beavers in the galaxy. We're not so different, you and I. Our worlds are quite the same. You, how did you, how did you come here?

Hasta points to the key on Zephyr's neck. It was an accident. We were led here through an Ayudhara gate. And I think this, she holds up the key, helped. Ayudhara, I do not understand you. The gates? Yes, we have gates, Ayudhara. They are plentiful here on Castorvel,

but there are more on another land mass. Sovarian, not as many here in Los Gialua. Yeah, we crossed through one in another dimension, I think. I didn't, but I started looking and talking. Do you use your gates? Do they operate regularly? Yes, we do not use them as much anymore, for there is no need out here, but our brothers and sisters in Ugalam or Severian, they do use them to travel about planets. Are you speaking of continents?

Yes, yes, continents. Yes. So you occasionally use them to travel between continents? Yes, yes, continents. Yes, so you occasionally use them to travel between continents. Yes, oh yes. But never to the blue planet. Oh no, no, those gates, if they ever took one there, they no longer function in that way. This is so Edgar Rice Burroughs.

This whole thing is like very John Carter of Mars. It was on our world. There are many around, inactive and active for as long as memory will tell. But it seems that all of us one night encountered gates that were that were active. Then we all stepped through, and no one would happen, but we were missing for three months. Oh? That is quite strange. The gates on your world were most likely made by my people long ago. But what you are saying is not something that occurred here to my knowledge I guess the other question I might ask is is there a way to maybe get us back to our world possibly yes very possibly what is your name? Vance the omicous bond Baines

How do you spell that be a we don't have that letter Be like beaver I spell it Oh same sound as be we call that a ca-chao Oh, same sound as beaver. We call that a ka-chow. Ka-chow, A, R. A we have, R don't have that one. It's the last sound of beaver. Ah!

A ka-plop. Ka-plop. Anyhow. It's an extremely efficient language. Ah. Ka-chow, ka-plop, it makes perfect. Ka-chow, A, ka-plop. I like that the names of the letters

do not have the sound of the letter in them. It's awesome. It's very efficient. Things are weird here. Things are weird here. B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- Understand and you are our sister but different Zephyr, how did you know we were from that world by looking at us your language your language of your friends? I could tell This language you speak is the language of your homeworld. We we will get to that momentarily What's your name Zephyr That is a beautiful name.

Thanks. Yes, a name perhaps given to you by the dreamer herself. And you, young sir. Buckles. Buckles. Buckles, like you'd see on a hat. Or a shoe. He's, you can't hear him.

Like he's too quiet for you. Like you're assuming, cause you know. Is your friend, is your friend nervous? Yes, he's just a bit afraid. He's shy. It is okay. You are, you are safe here. Though I imagine the journey here was fraught with peril.

If you are not from here, the creatures, we are in some sense of harmony with them, but if they do not know you, it must have been very dangerous. I am frankly surprised that you were able to make it to the light lines. We didn't all make it. Oh. I'm sorry. Yes, we lost one of our number in the jungle. To one of these creatures that you say you have harmony

with but what kind of beast big snail and they all say that I'm a little creature known as an amelicana yeah they are dangerous even to us most people would know it's not an encounter that you fight to the end should run by the first or second round Be a fool. Well, we know that now. Yes run to where just anywhere Oh, anyway, go with your phone there was a waterfall waterfall. Yes, that wasn't in the book And you what is your name? Sir, my name is Brother Ramius. Ramius? You know the word? That starts with a kaplump.

That starts with a kaplump. I think it was a ka-chow, actually. Ka-chow. Oh, a kaplump. Brother. Sibling. Brother starts with a family. Ah, yes! Yes. Yes, a craplom? The brother. The brother. The brother. Sibling. Brother starts with family. The brother. Ah, yes. Yes. Yes, so you are related.

In a way. We all are. A band, a traveling band, perhaps. A family band. Like the Partridge family. No. There's only one of us here who's a singer. Do not take it too literally.

And Barnes just shows to Hubert. Hubert. Oh, I did not even it too literally. And Barnes just shows to Hubert. Hubert. Oh, I did not even see you there. You look as if this is the world that you come from. We don't need this for a while, so you guys can just close. It's gonna be Troy playing with himself for a while. What is your name?

Oh, hi there, man. My name's Hubert Edge, and we are a family, yes. A very close family of brothers and brothers. And I'm just happy to be here. They're so nice to be amongst people. Look at all of us, all friendly faces. And he's just like happy as a pig and shit that there are other people around.

I will explain briefly, though it may take a little more time than I wish. Hubert is a companion that we met in a place in between. Oh, companion. It could perhaps explain why you have not seen travel between Galarian and Castravel, but we have. There was a place in between, a realm of shadows. A place that we perhaps needed to use as a stopover

to make the connection. We were briefly in that place and found this key. From there, it opened a gate that led us to Castravel. Fascinating. Called Nighthold? If you're familiar, in the Thinlands? I am not Nighthold. Nighthold? Perhaps some of our sages will know of it. I am a lele. I am a priestess of Desna.

Ah! I know of Desna. Yes. Yes. Yes. So Brother Amius like brightens and his face brightens. A woman of faith. Yes, yes.

A woman of the cloth. We are all followers of the Tender of Dreams. Our world is different than yours, as I'm sure you've realized. But we are very similar in many ways, I imagine. Our cultures are probably very similar, though we are different from our counterparts in other areas here on Kashtivel. I'm getting ahead of myself. Your mastery of the language is astounding.

Thank you. I have spent most of my life trying to learn many languages, but the language of your world was one that fascinated me the most, so I have spent many hours trying to be fluent with it. It is not often that I get the opportunity to practice it. You sound fantastic. I would not know the difference if you were from the blue planet yourself. You're very kind, brother Remius.

If you'll see, there is a small temple to Desna atop the Alhuna Spire there. She points to this mountain range in the distance. We hope one day to extend the light line all the way to the top and turn that temple into a large shrine and observatory for the Oatians. Most of our other people live elsewhere, but we Oatians live live here on Los Guialua. We are mostly astronomers and sages. Yes. How are you spelling Los Guialua? Los Guialua? Um, Kradrank. O. Skatao. K. 20 minutes later. A. A. I. A. Yes, you saw she had no problem with Asta. Yes.

More vowels will make things go quicker. Yes. Should you need to make a new captain? I'm sorry, I do not mean to infringe on your hospitality, but I am feeling rather exhausted, weary on my feet. Is there a place we could sit and speak? Yes. At great length?

Oh yes, but of course. Please, um... And she starts speaking, and you guys kind of understand. She's like, bring them seats, bring them chairs, and they bring all this stuff over for us to relax. How many people are around us? Uh, looks like maybe 30, 40 people. So we see more milling about in the distance. So we can't take them no Sorry, Asta, it's okay, and I put my katana back in

Basta maybe now is not the time to murder Sharpening it on a wet stone They sit you down they bring food Wet. Wet. Wet stone. So wet. So wet. Wet beaver stone. Oh! Hey, there it is. Right on the nose. Relax.

That's about as subtle as that place. Wet. You sit down, they bring you food, they bring you drink. What was her name again? A-leli? A-leli. And what is this that, um, it smells delicious? That that is fried beaver. No, it's not fried beaver nuggets We found a body near a lake

With red hair cooked it after your house saw that I saw the red burnt hair Just a local delicacy. Oh You're eating I didn't want to be rude. I don't want to be rude. Anyone read elf quest? elf quests the comic series peenie There were cannibals in that Hmm great great series. Very fun twist.

Can we meta for a second? What do we know about this from Starfinder? Like, weren't we on one of these continents? I feel like a name is familiar. I know, I definitely know. Uk'alam? Did you say Uk'alam? Is that a continent or a nation or a city?

It's another continent, so there's Soverian, there's Uk'alam. Did she just say Uk'alam? Ukolam, yeah. Is that a continent or a nation or a city? It's another continent. So there's Sovarian, there's Ukolam. There is a Skirua. Did she just say Ukolam? Yeah. Yeah, I thought so. OK, I recognized one of the names. What would be the lore to know from being from Golarion? What would be the lore category that we would need

to know anything about Castorvel? Yeah, I mean, when you guys were correctly assuming this was Castorvel, you started to roll on it and... Marry a bottle cap, by the way. For all of us guessing correctly. Ahem. As soon as I saw the map. It's hard to know who said it first. She said the map was from another game. Copied over.

Gullllll... What was the question? I'm fine with five bottle caps. I'm not angry about that. What guys still have those ones from before? What would be the lore category we would need to know anything about Castorvel or any of the other planets in the solar system? Second world lore? No. You're such a...

I'm really curious because you could need a specific lore. You might need lore Castorvel. I mean, yeah, lore Castorvel would certainly help. I think that there's a way that like a crazy high society role or even history Not Arcana though. There is no history. No, I guess society kind of gets lumped in Yeah, but you think there would be some like lore category that would encompass like all the other like civilizations in the soul. If you had lore elves, like Alvin lore. Alvin lore, that's a thing what about our Connor though because it's arcane magic and creatures, and I would say elves are pretty arcane creatures Would you could you could we roll feasibly our car? They I'm not arcane. They're divine magical. I'm not arcane

No, I'm just saying I don't know. I'm trying to pick something that I have points in so Joe Did you study to be a psychic or did you just have these powers? It just happened to me. Would I know anything from stories growing up? Yeah, I mean, nothing's really gonna help you. I mean, you're in a- Games lore. Games lore? Yeah. Do you know that- Because you know about pathfinders.

We look over, is there a roulette table in the corner? You know that next year, Loes over is there a roulette table in the corner Yeah, you know that next year. Los Quilus hosting the summer Olympics Summer gas roulette, so they're building they're building all the state of the benefits. This is going to be the home city, right? Yeah, I mean there's nothing that you would know that would even be helpful here. You're on a different plan We just need to ask them. Yeah, no no no no no no academic yeah cuz it's also like what's astronomy right like what is like drawn I mean I guess would fall under nature but that seems so specific that it wouldn't yeah you know I feel like I know about frogs and you know serious yeah it seems like you would need a lore right like yeah planetary lore just what would you call

it that's that's all I'm asking like I know we don't have those lures that you make up like planetary planetary lores. I mean, for instance, like there are a lot of cool lores. Like Suki has a ton of crazy lores, like midwifery lore, herbalism lore, astrology lore. Oh, you have astrology lore. Dream lore. Maybe astronomy lore is one. I have so many lores.

Suki has it because she's an elf. She's a lore whore. She's a high level, she's a lore whore. A lore whore. Big lore whore's a lore whore. More for lore. Big lore whore. And so much more. Wink! You gotta see the live show,

you gotta come to the live show. But there are a lot of lores, which make 2E really interesting and fun, but it's just at second level too, like we just don't have that many, yeah. So astronomy lore is an actual lore from the book. Yeah. Astronomy.

I figured they would have it. There you go, Suki. Okay. Well, you said astrology. That's what Suki has. Yeah. Astronomy. I figured they would have it. There you go, Skye. Okay. Well, you said astrology. That's what Suki has. Yeah. After you finish eating Talitha, she says, She's so weak.

I must say, I believe. Flossing with some of her hair. Mm, mm. That was delicious. It's stringy. I don't know how you got the burnt hair to smell fantastic. Lavender.

The, forget it. Stop. You've got the burnt hair to smell fantastic. His... Lavender. The... Forget it. I must say I believe Desna may have brought us together for more Reasons than we can discern at this moment For you are not the first people from Golarion that I have spoken to In fact, you're not the only people from Golarion I have spoken to in the last week.

This is a portent omen. You hear them all saying, like, in Elvish. Omen, omen, this is a... There are others, there are others here. No, not here. Oh, this is... Would be difficult to explain, but just last week, while I was working in our main observatory, and be difficult to explain, but just last week, while I was working

in our main observatory, and she points to the thing, it's got the big fucking telescope coming out of it, she's like, I received a message from a young oracle named Sakawatchi, who claimed to be sending a message from a city on Galarian called Skywatch. Skywatch. Do you know of this place?

Do we? Do we? Skywatch. Give me some society gems. Society, society. I'll do society again. I'll do esoteric lore. I've got 21. Let me see if I roll really well.

You're good, 20. Also good. 16. That's also good. 14 for Brother. 20. Also good. 16. That's also good. 14 for Brother Amius. Not great. 18 untrained.

Okay. So these two, right? Or was it Asta? No. Okay, so Barnsy, Bonds, and Zephyr, have heard of Skywatch. It's a city in Brevoi. In fact, built around a massive observatory

atop a mountain range known as the Ice Rime Peaks. It is far north of the River Kingdoms and southeast of Mendev. Brevoi is sort of Russia. Ah, okay. Sort of a Russia ice. The Ice Rime Mountains, the setting at all of the winter...

No. Throne of... or uh... Rain of Winter? Rain of Winter. The Ice Rhime Peaks? Well that would make sense if that's Russia, I think. Yeah. Because there's a lot of Russian stuff in there.

I think like... That's the one that has the witches. That's... is Rain of Winter Baba Yaga? Iresin is... Iresin, I think, is the setting. That's Baba Yaga? I think it is. Yes's a setting that's Baba Yaga I think it is yes rain of winter Baba Yaga yeah I'm not seeing them mentioned in that book but anyways I feel like I've heard of the ice rhyme mountains that's cool yeah that's a cool name it's a good name

are you rhyme so you you have heard of this city. Yeah, I've never been there. Nor have I. We spoke a marvelous mind. Apparently, this young stargazer stumbled onto a magical telescope in Skywatch's observatory, through which they somehow managed to transmit a message to our own observatory here in Los Gielua. Though the connection was quickly and sadly lost, I mean to study this transmission in the hopes of reverse engineering it.

And whatever magic was involved, it could very well be the way to getting you home again. We now have a direct connection to your world. In many ways, my life's work has brought me to this moment. I've just coming down from the elation that I felt from making that connection, and now I find you. Desna has shined upon us this day. I believe I can find you a way home. This world, this planet, there are many of you. Many villages, cities even, on many continents. All elves?

Mostly, there are other creatures. They're called Lushuntas. A race that is plentiful here as well, as well as these insectoid-type creatures known as Formians. They can be aggressive. They work together. Their minds are connected in strange ways. Ants. Ant people. they're and people What is this a city for ants what is this a city for ads they're easy to destroy we just stomp on their abilities We use our telescope to focus the rays of the Sun times. We put a firecracker in their holes Holes.

Yeah. It's terrible. He didn't specify holes. Academic is secretly bloodthirsty. Yes. Esna does not care for formants. You put your big magnifying glass over their little houses. You know it. Yes. That aside,

well, may we speak to your counterpart in Brevoi? I have not figured out how to Reignite this connection. It was the Oracle that initially made the connection, but it is something I have been studying And I'm sure in talking to you We can figure this out the key Um, we can figure this out. The key. Oh, yeah, this is, I think it helped to get us here,

but I don't know how. It seemed to lift up off my chest and guide us. She smiles, she's like these markings. Yes, yes, let me see it. And she goes and she grabs it, and the minute her hands touch it, her eyes go wide, and she just collapses to the ground she collapses to the ground and a bunch of people like rush over to her and

Brother amyus rushes over to her too, and they immediately stand back and you do as well as you notice She is starting to with her no oh No, it's like physically withering. Oh, no. Oh no! No, her skin is like physically withering. Oh no, oh no. Very quickly. Oh, it's the, it's the- Can I attempt to heal her? It's the curse.

Magically. Uh, give me a medicine check. If we know this? If you try to touch her, you're held back. To not, to not come up. I am a- I am a trained healer. Gentile!

I know how to. Gentile, where's Gentile? Gentile! That's a 27 on the medicine check as he's looking over this shoulder, trying to like, push through weak as he is. It's like Star Trek 6. You've seen... McCoy is trying to treat Chancellor Gorkon.

I've actually seen that one. I've seen two Star Trek things in this one. What the hell's going on here? You've seen Zephyr handle this, and didn't have any problem. You... maybe you even had a moment to observe this key. I don't know if you touched it, but you didn't see any sort of substance on it. So took it,

rubbed it down your pants and then put it back around her neck. I mean, there's something happening here that is, it must be a curse. Okay. Gentle, gentle. There is nothing I can do. It is beyond medicine.

This is a curse. He looks up at all of you. Oh, okay, Asta. He looks at Zephyr. Asta opens up her bag. Asta opens up her bag, and she takes out the three books that we found in the Spider Climb. Library.

Spider Climb, or in the library-Climb library. And they're magical diseases in elven medical texts. And she pulls some of them out and she just starts holding up the books to the elves to see if there's any information that could help. And they're looking at you like, why did they take it? And then all of a sudden this sea of elves sort of parts

and this very tall kind of androgynous looking elf walks for it got long hair and they look they say what is this key? Um it's the Shadewither key. Did you know of this curse? No I've been wearing it this whole time. The elf, tall, seven and a half feet tall, like bends down to look at A'leli up close. And they extend a hand outward over A'leli's body, and you see it's like slowly withering.

It's not rapid withering, but it's like she already looks like she's decomposing while alive. And he puts a hand over her and closes their eyes. And it's like you can see they're going through something while they're like trying to read what's happening here. And then, they like... They stand up and just look at the five of you. I have experienced this psychic signature only once before. My mother, Iscariil, revealed it to me.

So that I would recognize it again if such a time should come. It is the imprint of a soil. The Black Frost Whale. And we'll be back right after this break. What? And we'll be back right after this break. What? This episode is sponsored by Fume, the industry leading flavored air device that has been simply awesome in helping me, for one, kick my bad habit and actually morph it into a

good one. Before Fume, it was really, really easy for me to fall into this trap. Tell me if this sounds familiar. I'd be good for a while, doing without as they say, and then suddenly I'd find myself out with friends, away from home, having a few cocktails, and then folks want to step outside and indulge in their bad habit and I'd fall right back into it. Well, Fume allows me to go through all of the same motions with my friends, not miss

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When it came back, it is the imprint of a soil, the black frost whale. More importantly, who wants another Nooner? Hey! Me! Me! What does that mean? I want to try grape, do you like the grapefruit? The grapefruit's good. I'm gonna try grapefruit.

If there's another lime. I still have half. I wouldn't mind if one came my way. Perfect toss. Little lime-arita Matthew. You wouldn't be angry about a little lime-arita John? What do you like there Kay? I'll take a strawberry as a backup.

Okay. Please. As a backup, love it. This is so fun. Black frost whale? As in whale, as in... Oh, who's doing that? Oh my God. That is so unacceptable.

It came through my computer even though the volume was off, sorry. We don't have strawberry, there's a passion fruit. Sydney, would you like to take your, step down and take your call? I have one call. No. Sure. Mine's got a dent on the bottom of it.

Oh, it's definitely poisoned. Asoyo the Black Frost Whale, as in the seaborne mammal. Yeah, like a killer whale. Whale, spelt the same way. Here's some pictures for you. Here is a lele. OK. Oh, nice. Beautiful bronze scale. Oh, what a big telescope. That is so cool. She's carrying the telescope on her back. She also looks very young. And she looks like passionate about her astronomy, right?

Yeah, you can see the passion. The combination of the huge telescope, she's writing it down, she's thinking very hard. And here's genteel, genteel. Whoa, whoa. Into genteel. Into genteel. Immediately into genteel. What's his deal? Yeah, I mean, very, very, very. What do we get the sense that he's a kind of a leader or a healer or, I don't know. They were calling for them immediately. Like in, and he's genderless or so they are genderless. Um, it appears that way. Like there gives off a very male vibe, but, uh, they're genderless. And, uh, when, when a lele went down, they called, um, for,

he's, they're different than a lele. That's all I can, that's the vibe you get. Whatever a lele specialty is, they've got their own thing going on. It feels Hillary, but this also seems to be like arcane stuff going on. Hmm. It's not, he's not- There's a jewel on this for him. They're not looking at- Like an oracle or a-

They're not looking at wounds so much as this psychic imprint and so What else can you tell us about this? this whale my mother was a renowned healer and also part of a secret society a fellowship tasked with remembering the campaign against a soil of this being I know almost nothing except that it was a grave threat,

a danger so terrible that even the mere legend of it was passed down to only a few worthy scholars. We need knowledge that none here possess. That knowledge has been kept secret for good reason. Knowledge of a soil that could be vital to curing Aleli's ailment before it's too late. We must find. And then all the other, like,

scholarly-looking elves nod in agreement. And Jenthil says, the only option is to send someone to go find my mother, Iscariah, find my mother, and retrieve the information about Ossoyo. That will be the way, yes, that will be the way to curing A'leli, and your only way home.

If A'leli and your only way home. If A'leli is the only one here that possesses such knowledge, for it was A'leli that spoke with this being from your world. Yes, she must be. Where, where is your mother? Must bring her back. Gentile looks at you, looks at the others, and they kinda give a weird look. Where is she?

Where is she? Where is she? I know where she is. There's just one problem. Scariel's been dead for 100 years. And you all level up. Oh! What? Oh shit! I'm not prepared! And you all level up. Oh! Wow!

What? All we needed was for a woman to die. That's all we needed. Accidentally set a curse upon a friendly elf on another planet. And kill a woman. We just needed to kill one more elf. That was the last bit of XP we needed. Just one more death.

So I said we were going to do something that I don't think we've ever done is we're gonna level up on air. Oh my god. Oh my god. Alright, so this will be a three hour episode? Because I've got a lot to read. Okay. Let's do it. Yeah, I think it'll be fun and you know, you get the lemon law in effect here.

You don't have to worry about like choosing your spells and whatnot. You can always talk through feats and see what you want to do. But I think it'd be fun to kind of play this out in real time here, because this is something you guys have wanted for a while. Luckily, Demiplane allows you to level up pretty easily here, so you can add your relevant XP or however it works. And who feels like Beboppin' and Scattin'

right out the gate? Oh geez. Hard pass. It's just a nightmare. I will say I do get a new second level spell. Oh. As I assume the other spell casters will. Yeah.

And for me, that spell with my conscious mind or subconscious mind is heat metal. Oh. That's my spell. Oh, cool. Oh, can you like heat metal that someone's holding? Like if they're holding a sword that goes all the way down,

like a metal handle or something? I think it's meant for armor. It's, you know, any target of metal becomes red hot for a moment. This is usually harmless to an unattended metal item, so it's got a saving throw. If you target an item worn or carried by a creature or you target a creature made primarily of metal, the Heat deals 4d6 fire damage. That's cool.

And 2d4 persistent fire damage to the creature which must attempt a reflex saving throw That's a lot of damage. That's that's four to twenty four plus the persistent. That's a spicy meat ball Do you guys get feats at third level or general feats? Okay, which is Who is the general reporting to at Seg Sir? The friend from Boston. General feat, we're reporting to general feat. Oh, got it, got it. You're talking to generals. Thank you, that's it.

So here's where I'm at. Should I take a general... Cleric dedication? Yeah, a deal. We have a healer? Uh, so much to show. Should I take like the super basic general feats that I think it would it would make sense sense for any strength based Fighter to take even though I'm not a fighter like fleet or toughness, you know, like fleet fleet would be

Amazing I think for you for one clear reason because of dimensional salt I would extend your conflux spell another to 20 feet Which is pretty dope because basically fleet increases my feet by 5. So, my movement speed, I should say, by 5. That would increase the distance I can do my dimensional assault. It would go from 10 to 15, not to 20. Right? No, it would go 15 to... 10 to 15. Because right now you're 25, right?

No. I'm 30 now, so my conflux is 15. Oh, it wouldn't change your conflux then? Hmm. Because you only get 5 more feet. 35. Half of 35 is still 15. So it wouldn't change your conflux. Hmm. Cause you only get five more feet, 35 half of 35 is still 15 because it's round down. Cool. Well, there's also toughness. And then on the other hand, I could take, you know, more, you know, like cantrip expansion or like, I don't know, like spell parry.

I could take more like mages focused things than just like fighter things. Or incredible initiative. Or incredible initiative, which is another good one. Or casters and fighters. You want to get the jump, you want to get in a position. It feels lame to take like such basic things, but it's so- That's why it's called a general feat. I know.

It's so fundamentally useful. Yeah. Yeah. I was looking at toughness or incredible initiative, but then there's also like feather step, I can step carefully and quickly and in difficult terrain or like breaking grapple easier. There's no general feats that help you with your bow, right? Like expand the range of your volley or all that shit. Not that I see quickly, maybe there is.

I know nothing about character building. And so I just found a second level general feed called unmistakable lore. Basically if you recall knowledge using any lore subcategory with your train, if you roll critical failure you get a failure instead. So the question is can that be applied to the exploit vulnerability? Because I am using esoteric lore for that. Let me look at the language of exploit vulnerability. Because if those things combine,

the synergy would be that whenever I try to exploit vulnerability, I will never fail. There will always be something I can use too, because a failure gets me something. You guys all get a nice little hit point. Oh yeah, I went up 11 points. Oh! Yeah, and hit points, I went from 30 to 41.

That's huge. Oh yeah, I went up nine. For 30 to 41. That's huge Yeah, I went up I went up nine For those of you who really love your character, you could always take die-hard We also get a skill man. It matters in this campaign It really feels like a difference with that have made for yeah Certainly would have saved your life on that one. Oh, yeah. I took it was the first few I took for Barnes What do you guys think I think I might do toughness just increase my hit points It's I go down. It's that's the other thing. I'm weighing as well. Definitely really makes a difference

I go down so often I have gone down in almost every single combat and right now You're really the only one that's gonna stand and bang I guess we're seeing a little bit of that out of Barnes and Zephyr has been kinda switch hitting a little bit, but I mean, that's your role in this party. And that stacks forever, right? Like each time you level up, you get your maximum, right? You increase your maximum hit points by your level. I know in one, he had stopped at like 10th level,

but yeah, you- Cause if I do that- This is great. My sweet new hit points, 38. Ooh, just sounds pretty good to my ears That sounds a lot better That sounds like you probably don't go down in the first round the first crit and the first round that hits you Yeah, so I'll put this to you Troy. So the here's the language from from exploit vulnerability

Select a creature you can see an attempt an esoteric lore check against a standard DC for its level. Rick under? The language for unmistakable lore is when you recall knowledge using any lore subcategory in which you're trained. So do you think would you, is esoteric lore check different from recall knowledge check? What else do you do with lore besides recall knowledge? Yeah, I was thinking of like, should we just take another lore, but I don't want to take a random lore. I'll tell you, there are some hazards that require lore checks to disable.

My esoteric lore already applies to haunts. Yeah. So that would be nice. A quick listen after a new nerd, that sounds... Yeah, but I could take toughness. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I'd say go back and forth and then Professor Eric would be like, stupidly, ah! I'm sitting here looking at level three being like,

oh, it's just a general feat and a skill increase. I only get one, so I have a plus one intelligence. But then I saw I also get mystic strikes. So my unarmed attacks become magical, allowing them to get past resistances to non-magical attacks. I also need an item such as Hand Wraps of Mighty Blows to gain an item bonus to attack rolls,

and all of that, but that's cool. And then I also get incredible movement. Ooh, what is that? I move like the wind, I get a plus 10 foot status bonus to my speed whenever I'm not wearing armor, which is all the time. Oh, that's huge. Bonus increases by five feet for every four levels

you have beyond third. Sweet. Wow. That's cool, so that's gonna scale. What is your current movement before that 10? Dude, was it 25 or 30? I think it was 25, cause it's 35 now. 35, that's awesome.

Is that a feet or what was that? It's just something that comes with leveling up as a monk. Wow. Does anybody else have stuff, freebies you're getting, free powers? I get lightning reflexes at third level. My reflex saves go up to expert. So now I'm an expert in all three saves.

All right, no need to brag. Also, all of my damage-de dealing cantrips get heightened. So I'm gonna deal more damage with my signature ignition and frostbite and everything too. Your heels go up now? Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, Yeah, there's a lot to choose. That's good, that's good. It's not gonna happen. Yeah. But I, whatchamacallit, I buy heals. This is the difference, okay? We keep going down, we keep dying, complaining about how hard it is, how hard some of the

encounters are, whatever. And then some people writing back to us and they're like, just because you're still second level, first, second level, it's really brutal. And it's true, you gotta get to third level because how about this? His regular healing font. So I don't have to prepare anything different I don't take up more expensive slots just my regular healing font heals that I have every day to just cast heal just became for the two action version which is what I try to always use because it's the most healing just went from 1d8 plus 8 to heal to 2d8 plus 16. Oh wow! Damn! An

enormous leap. That's a huge leap. From second to third. Yeah it seems like second to third generally is a way quantitatively like a much larger jump than it was in like 1e. Yeah for sure and it certainly feels that way like the difference between. It was always significant especially like for spell casters and stuff just getting that first second level spell and everything but even but now it's like it's way more I think yeah more significant. That's huge. That's huge. And so yes also his you know on the occasions that he uses it his Divine Lance goes up in damage now you know as the cantrip automatically. Yep so that's great. You got one new second level spell you're gonna look at?

Yeah, I don't know. I gotta pour through the whole spell list, but no, I like, I have access to the whole spell list. It's what I prepare every day. So I gotta look at like what's good to prepare at second level and you know, shop around and stuff, but I'll probably just end up until I see other way. Actually, to start, I will prepare non-heal spells because I've got this healing font. If we are still getting our ass handed to us every combat, I'm going to have to use them for heal too. So I have like eight heals a day, nine heals a day kind of thing. Well, will you help me with spells and explain it to me real quick for this level up?

So I gain my second level spells. I think I get two second level spells now, which is dope. But I have a spell book. So do I know all? You get two for free. Ah, I see, okay. It's called two free advancement spells. I get to choose what is right. I can't choose like uncommon or like the crazy spells

that I wouldn't know, right? You can ask the GM. Yeah, it's up to him. But like typically no. Okay. Especially if the source is like the Blood Lord's Adventure Path. Which I didn't know, I didn't realize. Exactly, so especially if the source is like the blood lord's adventure path, which I didn't know I didn't realize exactly So but if the source is like, oh, it's uncommon. The source is the Grand Bazaar or something like that It's just a book. That's like another source book

You just got to ask the GM and see if they're cool with it. Harry's a pretty reasonable guy. Yeah Yeah, Harry's like super down to earth. Is it chill guy? Yeah, he's what you do. You ask for something. Very player friendly. Ask for three things. Something ridiculous and then the two things you want. Yeah, there you go. I write an email, can I have $1 million

and also these two spells? I thought, what about this instead? And it's just an uncommon fee. All right, that's how you ask for a raise. Out of million? All right, how about 10%? I am, as much as I want to say I think this would apply to exploit vulnerability,

I'm looking at the lore skill, just like the basic lore text. And there are two things you can do with lore, which is recall knowledge and earn income. So I think the exploit vulnerability is a other action you can do with a lower skill that does not count as recall knowledge. Makes sense. Even though it does get you knowledge. Makes sense. Right. If you could, Professor Eric, tell

me if I'm wrong. Yeah, we'll find out from Professor Eric. Yeah. So I'm going to choose something else. Colin. If that does synergize, that would be amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Because if I fail and exploit vulnerability, I still get a bonus. Yeah. And if I critically fail, bad things happen. So I can just avoid those crits.

Yeah, and you're burning a feed for it. We'll find out, so we're by next time. I also, I went up, I took, for my feet, I got the skilled feet so I could take another skill proficiency. And I took intimidation. And then I raised that up from my third level to expert. So now thinking that this is the cool icon that would be kind of coming into this kind of ability. So I still don't have intimidating glare. So I still have to, you know, whatever. But yeah, so like getting that that chance. It's like another something else I can do with that third action. And intimidating glare is

actually something I've been looking at too. Yeah, it's it's very nice to have. It's very nice to have. That's the demoralize without speaking, right? Yeah, so you don't have that penalty. That's what Lucky had. It was, it's dope. Yeah. I'm gonna take toughness as a placeholder until we get a, for a certain answer on unmistakable lore. I can't go wrong.

Toughness, improved initiative, fleet. I took toughness, so. What's your HP up to? 38. Okay, so we're the same. Yeah, okay, cool. He's rocking a 41 now. And then for my skill increase, you're on 38 too?

I'm 41. Wait, who's rocking a 41? You're 41? 41? I'm a monk. A monk? What's your hit die? My hit die? What does that mean?

What's your HP? What's it go up? Is it? Went up by 11, she said. Oh, yeah, it was 30 at level two. It's 41 now. What's your con? My con is plus one.

Oh, okay. Wow. So it goes up 10. That's really good. Plus your con bonus, probably. So fighter is 10, monk is 10? 10 plus. So what else? Brother Amias gets, I mean, this is is a big jump considering where we are here in the jungle.

He just, at third level as a cloistered cleric for whatever reason, I don't really know why, but at third level your fortitude saves increase to expert. So his just doubled. Like his bonus just doubled. It was his weakest. It's like just survive long enough and you yeah hunger Yeah, so his fortitude is much more reasonable and then Okay

It's general feat time for brother Ramias. I'm gonna pitch it to you guys. So first he's got you know fleet He's got a credible initiative. These ones are all good. What was the other one? Like Toughness or Die Hard. There's like the three top, the top three. God, that would be awesome. Well for you, at this level, I would wonder, how does Assurance work with your medicine? I was looking at Assurance also. Assurance is a skill feat, I believe.

It's a skill feat? I don't think it's a general feat. Oh, you can't take a skill feat? No, you either get one or the other or both at the same time. You get skill feats at the alternate levels, I think. I think at every even level you get a skill feat and a class feat, I think. But, alright, so...

There is that way. Initiative or movement speed. I don't really care about movement speed, so I'd probably go initiative. Because what I want to get is I want to spend a class feat on reach spell hopefully hopefully if he makes it to level 4 which will allow him to cast spells of touch at 30 feet and Double the 30 feet spells to 60 feet which will be huge for healing He could be a lot further away and still heal you which would be awesome, but So he could do initiative right now, or he could do ward medic as he continues to build toward medicine.

Now this is great because like all that he's been doing for you guys, it makes sense that he's getting better and better at treating several patients at once. You have to take ward medic. Yes, however, yes, it's on brand. It's on brand. Yes, it's on brand. It's in character But from a pure meta standpoint all it does is it lets me treat two targets at the same time so Effectively, it's cool in character mechanically Unless we are constantly find ourselves in situations where ten minutes later. We have another fight

It has no benefit. Right. You know what I mean? So like, to me. Toughness, like toughness will have a mechanical benefit to you all the time. Just keep me up longer. So it's tricky. So do you take the one that's in character?

I mean, people kind of swear by Ward Medic, but I think it's game by game. If your GM plays in such a way where they're like, you're on the clock, you can't treat wounds, you can't have a, then maybe. You're pulling a heist the clock, you can't treat wounds, you can't, then maybe. You're pulling a heist. Right. You've been treating wounds, I think, left and right.

Yes, and each time, it doesn't matter that I can only do one at a time. It feels like it's been like, oh, that took 40 minutes. We're like, okay, and we kind of move on. The big one. Like, if you say, you only have 10 minutes, what do you do? You could treat two people instead of one.

Right, and that's all that feat does. Whereas like continual recovery was the real big one because that let me do it in 10 minutes or that it makes you immune for 10 minutes as opposed to an hour. Right, you really haven't been pressured for time yet in this. Not in that way. Yeah, yeah.

Not in like, Yeah, so I wonder if initiative or toughness is better. Matthew, you say go toughness. What do you say? For you? Yeah. What would you do? Ward initiative or toughness is better. Matthew, you say go toughness. What do you say? For you? Yeah. What would you do? Ward medic, toughness or initiative? Not initiative.

Not initiative. It's not super important that you go for it. You don't buff a lot. Yeah, you don't buff a lot. Yeah. You heal. You're not Sir Buffalo. Bless is good. Sir Buffalo. Sir Buffalo. I know that toughness is useful,

but if we all take toughness, it's like, that's boring. It is boring. Do something interesting. Don't be smart. Have fun. Do the medic word. Being smart is fun to me. That's how I have fun. You're leaving Sid hanging there. Sorry. Anybody need a Noon-er refresh?

Now I understand why Troy did this. Yeah, now I understand why he did nooners. You can drink I-noons while we talk. Make bad decisions on character. All right, well let's talk, let's talk about Barnes skill increase. Yes, I wanted to talk that as well. I think my instinct is to go athletics.

Gives me a lot more flexibility in combat. I can do some grapples, I can do some trips. I've got a kukri, which is a trip weapon. It feels like that would be the most useful. And I'm already a plus nine on diplomacy and intimidation. Question. You cannot become an expert in esoteric lore, right? That's sort of like a- I already am an expert in esoteric lore. You cannot use a skill increase to increase esoteric lore at scales with the class build.

Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, that would be a little bit OP. It's weird that it's plus eight then, because I'm an expert in medicine and I'm plus 10. I'm now plus 11. Okay. Okay. But yeah, at second level you were plus eight, right?

And now I'm plus 11 in medicine. So it's weird, it's like, I think you just became an expert. That's what happened automatically. Because he gets one for the level and then two for the efficiency. It became expert automatically at third level. Perfect. Yeah. Athletic sounds good to me. I mean the other thing I could do... I'm trained in thievery and if we have to... I have thievery too. Oh you have it. Okay good.

Yeah. I was trying to remember back before we started... Who has the higher dex bonus? My total is plus seven. On thieievery on plus six so you have the okay there you go back before me before we even started playing we made a spreadsheet we had a meeting an interminable meeting where we decided I love it farm the I know you did we farmed out different skills different characters

but now we've lost two characters I'm trying to like keep everything in balance yeah yeah well I still feel responsible for what I was before because I don't think anybody has brought anything to keep everything in balance. Yeah, well I still feel responsible for what I was before because I don't think anybody has brought anything to the table in the wisdom category. And so I'm looking at, what would you rather have me have, nature or survival to become an expert in?

Nature. Nature. Yeah. Nature. I just took, I just took. Well, I mean, especially if we're, if we have to continue dealing with the fe yeah That's gonna be yeah word

I just took trained in nature because also I made the mistake when I had built Asta that I thought that she had more Skills than she did so originally it made sense. I was like she knows nature. She's a Kitsune She didn't so now I want her to be trained But should I focus on on something else if you're gonna become like the nature guy? No, cuz some redundancy is good, too. Yeah. It's not bad, but you also you're missing an opportunity to become an expert in something. Like you're giving that up to become trained in nature.

Mmm, I see what you're saying. So if that's what you want to do, that's fine, but... Unless... What are you trained in right now? Currently I'm trained in acrobatics, arc athletics intimidation nature if I choose it thievery and Games lore all right, we're good games. We're so I can't it made me take it so you expert in games I have a I have gladiatorial lore. Yeah, I do too. I have genealogy lore. That's awesome. I have stabling lore That cow That's awesome. I have stabling lore How do you put a what I say the word put the bit in it

Back a minute. The only reason I make a case for survival is that if we were about to go out into wilds of Castroville, trying to raise someone from the dead, let me take survival. I won't take nature then this time. Well, hold on. Let's talk about your things that you can become an expert at that we can't. Okay, arcana and acrobatics and athletics. I'm doing athletics. Arcana is a big knowledge category that we don't have anybody responsible for. I can roll any knowledge check, but at a penalty.

It's true, I'm the smartest one in the party. Wow. You are, by far. Well, your Arcana focus, obviously your character wants to find and identify magical items for their value. This is true. And what's the other one you said? I could do acrobatics, I could do athletics, I could do intimidation.

Intimidation you said as well. So what's your charisma? My charisma is a zero. Oh yeah, okay. I've got intimidation and I'll scale that up. But I'm trained in it, I have a plus five intimidation. Yeah, but at this level, you wanna have, plus 11 is where it should be if you want it to be powerful.

So you basically should just feed into arcana. My arcana's not even that good. I'm an expert. If I do an expert, it's a plus eight. Because you're intelligence- I'm not smart. You also don't have intelligence. Yeah, I'm not smart. So you know, so mechanically,

yeah, it was athletics or acrobatics. But is that even worth it? Like it's all my acrobatics. It's worth it for you. Is it? It could be. I guess. Athletics is a really useful skill

if you start using the- I already have a plus nine in athletics yeah, I don't really need to increase it. It would be a plus 11. I mean the difference between a critical success and a success is huge when it comes to combat maneuvers and stuff like that. What's your arcana? What are you rocking with? Zero. Oh. I'm not trained in it. Oh. I'm plus five but I can roll Aztec lore. Okay, so then maybe I won't take Arcana, because you can do your Lore stuff.

I could die. Maybe I will take Arcana. That's the thing, like, Anybody can die. I think we should consider balancing, but not get too hung up on it, and also just like do the thing you want to do and have fun to a extent, because we can die.

Yeah, I didn't even think. I also have, I have Arcana, I'm trained in Arcana as well. I might take it, I might become an expert just because I really liked what you said for like character wise. I think it makes sense. She looks for these things, these like sparkly goodies.

And it would be valuable to all, you would have this thing that nobody else has, which I think is fun. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trained in Arcana. If you're not an expert, she'd become an expert. I'm an expert, I'm the smartest in the party. Well, I'm an expert.

And just like that, I'm an expert. The thing I am having big trouble with, and I might need to lemon-law some spells, and I've said it before, they changed the magus a lot in the remaster, and they lost some, like, crucial spells that were really good for the OG magus, like Shocking Grasp, like it doesn't exist anymore.

So I need to go through the spells, it's gonna take me a little longer, and figure out what I wanna focus in for my second level spells. I don't know, there's just a lot. Don't lock them in now. There's a lot. Although I did, I think I will probably stick with this,

I did take Blur from my other second level spell. Nice. So I can use that either on you. Oh, right, you can use it on other people. Or Barnes or Ree, I can use them. Because I'm gonna be getting into melee too. Does that make you roll a DC 11 flat check or DC 11? DC five.

That's great. I feel like we don't have a lot of debuff. We have some buff with Brother Ramius, but we don't have a lot of debuff. We don't have a lot of buff either, so it's. Gotta have the debuff. Well, you know, I'm hoping, we'll see I got to examine the second level cleric spell list see if there's any Typically, they're more buff oriented, but you know I don't know if

He might be able to start doing some stuff to the enemies that would be great Yeah, go buffs, but you hate that kind of thing because it's almost always a saber sucks bow not in 2e 2e like even a Success usually always get one round of something at least Or it's true. There's some effect. Yeah, believe me It will not be prepared if it's a saber sucks bell, but there's a lot more options in 2e I just told you my mother died a hundred years ago, and you've been talking Talking for like 45 minutes. What is the level up like? Something about what you said

might just feel more powerful. To have been more able to confront the challenge of your dead mother. I feel stronger. Oh, buckles. Buckles? Oh no, I'm sorry, that was referencing Planescape Corment. I thought buckles are too-

Is your bullhorn still active? It is. I feel stronger! Yes, I feel stronger! I'm sure you have many questions. I don't know where to begin. Our location here isn't a coincidence, nor solely related to watching the stars. Previous civilizations have come and gone

in these mountains and deep beneath Los Gealua's stony streets lies an ancient sacred site, a place where great scholars of the past were laid to rest. In this subterranean grove, the memories of the bests and brightest are preserved and watched over by these extraplanar guardians known as Callborn. They use their unique powers to keep the interred knowledge from fading from those who have passed. We Oasia call this place the Memory Cache. We chose to build our city here because of its proximity to the Memory Cache. But the route down to the Grove is dangerous, dangerous enough that we consult the cache only in times of great need. Still we've continued the tradition of entrusting our most important

sages to the Callborn's care. The most recent such sage to be given over to the Callborn was my mother, just over a century ago. Though we prize our constant search for wisdom, the sages and astronomers of Los Skialua aren't suited to adventuring. In order to help Alele and to thereby find you away home, possibly, we would need your help in going to speak to my mother in the memory cache. going to speak to my mother in the memory cache. It's been a hundred years since anyone's journeyed there, and we know very little of the route, but we do know where the grotto's entrance is. That, at least, is straightforward enough. But what's beyond its cavernous entryway,

I know not what you will find there. If you can go and find the gardeners who tend the place, they will help you find Iscariot and retrieve the knowledge that we need to combat whatever Osoyo is and what their influence is here with this key that has cursed Alele. What is your brother's name? Is Iscario again? Iscario, yes. She was one of our great wise people. Once we are in the memory cache within the grotto,

we should be able to speak to her with no... I am no elf. Would I be able to speak to her? Your friend, her presence may help. The Colborne are meant to protect. The Gardeners will suss out your intentions. I would assume you may need to speak with them and plead your case.

But there are other denizens, other creatures below. We've only heard stories, so I know not what you will encounter under there, but... What are some of the stories you've heard? Are they beasts? Or are they intelligent folk? Enemies of your civilization? We're a mix of both. I overheard A'leli mention to you that we have achieved some sort of harmony with the creatures here,

even the most dangerous ones. But the subterranean dwellers. It's different, they have their own society. They dwell below the ground for reasons we know not. Genthyl, would you be able to give us some sort of- What did you call me? Your name? Genthyl.

That's what I wrote down. My name is not Genthyl. Oster. That is a slur among my people. Gen-thiel. Please, I wish to learn more of you. Kill them! I should have wrote a J. Go again, Thiel! I should have wrote a J. Kill the outsiders! I wrote a G. I thought it was a harder G. Gen-thiel? Is that your name? Yes. Your language is difficult for me to pronounce.

Gentheal. What the fuck did I say? Gentheal. I don't even want to say it. I can't repeat it. I can't repeat it. Please don't be combative. You hear a couple women running away crying.

My hand is on my katana, and I slowly take it off. Gentheal. Yes. Would you be able to- The fuck did you call me? Fuck did you call me? Very serene. What the fuck did you call me?

Fuck did you call me? Classic Claudian thing for taking notes. Wilder's Blast. Uh, would you be able to send us along with a barkrit for the guardians so that they understand we have your permission? Barkrit? What's a barkrit? What is that? It's a term for a pass, a permission to pass through into the Grotto. Your signature, your name? Hall Pass.

We could provide. A bathroom pass. Bathroom pass. Bathroom pass. We could provide something. I writ, I do not know. What's the toilet situation down there? What do your toilets look like?

Just kind of go over the cliff. Oh. Yes, hopefully no standing blood. You have no system. No, we just, we poop over. Just poop. What do you do in your world? Do you poop on? Yeah, it's just into the do you know what's down there? Everyone leans towards the cliff and just lets it fly What do you do in your work? They go home looking at me like I'm an animal

You telling me in your world you don't just sidle up to a cliff Pull down your pants And just see what happens you ever go to the bottom of the cliff Everything must be dead Again feel to do that Quite fertile now I understand was why there might be horrors in your memory cache What seemed like a very important place for your people the entrance to the grotto Is not far from where we poop

But is it like these subterranean? Is he talking about like drow or like more locks or something or is this? Like oh shit. This is the dark land. He's talking about no. This is just like an underground grotto Whatever monster you know is it's like on Dagobah Like don't go in there. Oh That's the guy that's the kind of vibe that you remember your failure at the cave and be a failure at the cave It's like a place that they just they're their greatest minds have been somehow preserved by these call born cool idea

You'd think they would protect it from scary creatures that would crawl off. Well, the callborn. You'd also think they have toilets. So there's a lot of missing elements here. Maybe I'm just trying to force my own way of thinking onto elven culture and I shouldn't do it. Yeah, that's your bias showing.

Do not judge us. I just thought everyone had some sort of solution for pooping, but. I see that, there you go. We are a free people. I have a question. I would... I embrace this whole hearted thing.

May I poop with you? Yes. I would be honored. The whole day, that's what you're doing. Walk into the woods holding hands. What's happening? We walk together into the cliff. I believe what is happening is Barnes is pooping over the cliff.

Right, why is that happening? As a cultural sign. You just see them in the distance. All of you are being incredibly judgmental. What's happening in the back? I know we've only just met, but I thought better of all of you. And then he goes to poop over the cliff. Be sure to keep eye contact with him.

Let him rip. Oh, sure. If we're done talking about the poop cliff, if you have a question, is there anywhere? Oh, I guess we're not. We're not. Oh, it's been weeks. I had some of Hubert's snail jerky. That thing's not slow on the way out.

Son of a bitch. Sorry, Kate, you had something to say. No is there more we talked to anyone else just one here It's like a waterfall There's nothing left Should I top that? Yeah. Is there anywhere for us to maybe sell some stuff? Yeah, you guys have major diarrhea and Zephyr and Aster go shopping.

Shopping, you want to buy something from us? Well, we just have a lot of stuff that maybe we can get rid of and I would love to upgrade some of my things. Oh, I'm sure your currency carries over to us on this planet. We're a trading system, a bargaining system. We actually don't have much currency right now.

We just have things. You want to trade some of your goods and services for us. We're sort of money poor, but object rich. I have gold. And he has his little, like, his pouch. This is part of his, like, because he had some cash leftover from character courage. I really didn't buy anything.

So that's part of, like, his back story, is like when he was being ushered out like hurried out of the mansion after killing the mistress of the house. Like he was given the sort of like nest egg. This is like grabbed as I said here like shoved this like bag of coin like into his hands like as he was being ushered into the gate. So he still has this like, he has 15 gold. We will trade with you with fair prices. You are doing a service to us as much as you are helping yourselves. The future of A'leli, fate lies in your hands. Speaking of A'leli, I'm sorry, I just... And he's looking at like her withering body.

It's just, you are confident that you will be able to preserve or slow this decay long enough for us to do this? How long until she will expire? I am confident in nothing. But I believe my mother knows things that can help us. Well, how much time do we have? He looks over at A'leli. She looks like she's aged five years since she hit the floor. It's hard to tell how fast it's advancing. Will it come and stops and starts, or will it just

continue until there's nothing left? Do you know anything of this curse? I believe we do. I believe we do What did you call it? black frost whale a soil a soil Perhaps we have a different name for it. I recognize this it burns even though I was with you We call this the Obnobulate Curse. I thought that wasn't real the Obnobulate Curse It is legend in Golarion that elves particularly could succumb to. However, we found recently that Zephyr herself was elf-blooded, had no effect when holding the key.

We thought it was a hoax. We thought that it was used to instill fear into the population, to keep people in line. But perhaps it is not. Yet you did not bring this up to Lely when you handed it to her. Well she asked to hold the key. We were merely being polite. We didn't offer her the key. I didn't know that the key had anything to do

with having the curse. The curse we were told on our world was... It has to do with the gates. Had to do with the gates, the proximity to the gates. Tell them what you told me of this creature you encountered in the Shadowlands. Kniepo, was it? Yes, this Kniepo, a tall, slim figure

who haunted the dreams of many. Was imprisoned by the elves. Does this name ring a bell? Kniepo. The Slim? No, you were saying? They had a particular predilection with elves. They created this curse to get back at my ancestors.

Yes, Kniepaw hated the elves. This is a powerful being if this curse lingers still in this key. I must keep it away from my people. Why it is not affecting you does not make sense. Perhaps Iscariot can shed some light on that as well. Perhaps whatever you've experienced has changed you, marked you in a way that has kept you safe. By the way, we will not take any chances with the key. You may keep it, but please keep it away from my people. Please keep it away from my people. We will.

And you...you... I'm sorry, I'm very weak and perhaps did not hear you correctly. Are you unable to come with us? Not unable, not even unwilling, I just don't know. I would be of much help to you. Of course you would. We don't know the creatures of this place. We don't know the cultures of this land.

We don't know the way. It is your mother we seek. Yes, but there are dangers down there that I will be useless in helping you with. Diplomacy, yes, perhaps I could help in that way, but I am useless as an adventurer. We are... Students. Perhaps. Perhaps it is best if you look after her.

Try to prevent the... the advancement of this sickness. Yes. Um. Hello. Shit. Just, uh... What is it, Hubert? Hubert, just talk to me. Yes, I just...

Felt like I was a... They can't understand. Like a seventh wheel, as it were. Um, I'm thinking that perhaps I'll, um, stay behind. Uh, the scrotto sounds a bit dangerous, eh? Maybe I'll just, uh, get to know everyone here. Keep him safe. Right, a bit of. Yeah, maybe I'll just get to know everyone here keep them safe right a bit of an adventure of myself perhaps I can be your Your guardian now while my friends my best friends in the whole world next to Susan

Go and talk to your dead mum Hubert. No, but no You're so essential well Really think I'll be helpful. I'm a bit torn here. Miss you? He's making it sound very dangerous and almost got thrown off a gondola. It is incredibly dangerous. That's true. Perhaps it's too dangerous. Yes, I'll leave it up to you.

If you want me to stay, I'll stay here and guard the people. Please, please come with us. And then this change comes over him. It's like, if you come with us, you will die because I will kill you. He holds his scarred hand. Maybe it is best if you stay. However, if you could, please talk as little as possible to any elves here. Please, I beg you.

Right. See? You are on very tenuous diplomatic territory here. Right. That guy. Good conversationalist, as it were. Luckily, not many of them can understand what he says. Excited to poop off that cliff, I'll tell you what. Oh, it was thrilling, wasn't it? Oh, yeah. I might only do that from now on.

Yeah, it's very nice. I'm looking forward to it. It's quite a sight when I do it. Did you... Did you wipe? Oh, yeah. Hahaha. What?

You're an adventurer and you don't carry your own toilet tissue with you? You're an adventure, and you don't carry on toilet tissue with you. You're an adventure You're an adventure. You had a urine adventure, too. I just saw you poop. That was a urine adventure Okay, Hubert. Why don't you watch over a lele while we're gone? How about that where it walks up to you and like, pulls your face down. Okay. Puts his hand on your cheek. Oh. You're so brave. Just letting me go like that.

Don't go dying. She turns to the group. Is Hubert flirting? I think he is in love with you. Yes. I think that's the impression I got. Ugh, got an erection. Oh no! Just get out of here!

Alright, let's go! Just go! Hossa doesn't look back. Like the Bible, she doesn't look back. That was an excuse. That's all my fault. For one second, I thought Troy was doing something kind of nice and interesting, but that was ridiculous.

Wasn't expecting it. He was just setting up another erection joke. Oster walks off without looking back. Just into nowhere, into the distance. Okay. I'll see you guys at the grotto. I'm going to rest before we go to this grotto. We have no time. Oh, good idea. I can buy varns.

He doesn't know how long this will last. I know that it is urgent, but. For every moment you rest, she ages another year. I know, I know. But I feel as if the whole mission could fail if we're not properly prepared. Also, if I could get some hand wraps, that would be awesome.

Let's go shopping. You don't happen to have a plus one property rune, do you? We look expectantly. Potency rune? Potency rune. Potency rune. Potency rune. Not human.

I'm sorry. What was I talking to you for? It's pretty potent. Potent it is, hey. I've got a potency rune right there. We'd like to talk to Troy right now. Is Troy in there? There.

Potency rune. Yes, we would like to trade for such a thing to enhance your weaponry. Yes. We have such things, yes. I will need all your gold and all of your armor, and we will give you one potency. No, no, no, no, no.

How do you trade in your world? We'll handle this off AI. Asta takes out the rocks that you stole. Oh, those are our rocks. No. Where did you find those? Where did you find those rocks? Asta, what are you doing?

And then she also takes out the gold teeth from her. What is going on with you? What is... what are you doing? First you call me... and then you steal our rocks? And are those gold teeth? Fuck is wrong with you? With the rocks back in my pocket.

With the rocks back in my pocket. With the rocks back in my pocket. I'm sorry. I can't believe... You you some of your stolen goods. You tried to sell them their rocks back to them. I love how he was like. You know what, I just talked to our guy. We don't have any potency.

Ran out. We'll handle the shopping off air. Another adventuring group came through and took them out. We'll handle the shopping off air. Right. Is there a place I could lay down? Yes, that bed of nails is our most comfortable. All right.

Let's just go. Let's just go. And hope you sleep on the road. Get out of town. The entrance to the grotto is not far. You are welcome to rest here, but looks down at Alelly's body. Timus of the essence. Yes, so mechanically are you saying that we can just like now

prepare second level spells without resting or preparations? Do you have any preparations? Um, I would make a... yeah I think I could make an exception for that you know if you take the time necessary to pray. Well, you need a rest, right? Yeah, I'm down heels. Yeah, like you're down. I could go in, but I'm also drained. I would lose the drained condition.

Like literally how far is it? Like how far along of a journey? If you were to take eight hours, and you don't need to keep watch, if you just fully trust these people, then you know, you get the sense that she'll have aged considerably, like the the withering will have happened, but you don't think she'll die. I mean the thing is like you don't know what you're

walking into, so like you want to at least be full when you go in there and then be like we can't rest again. Yeah that's what I mean'm thinking. Well, I mean, especially with you drained, I mean, I feel like it's kind of imperative. And if we are like leveling up too. Yeah, like I could let you replace some spells up at your down spell slots, your down hit points, your drained, it'd be better to rest, but just know that you're basically-

How far is the grotto? How long will it take to walk there? 25 minutes. Oh, okay, so it's right on town. Oh, okay, yeah, it's not far. Yeah, the entrance isn't far. They just don't go down We either need to rest for eight hours so I can get spells back or Asta doesn't need to rest like it's not hit points It's really just spells. Yeah. Yeah eight hours or nothing This is a real tough one because I like I want you to rest mechanically

But I think in character like we just cursed this woman who was gonna help us We did she's also though. She's an elf So aging five years and whatever amount of time isn't the same as us a human being I also really need our healer to have heels. Oh, yeah, I've got some I've got some heels But I have you some today. It would be nice going in there full. I know we all got a boost to like our HP, but I don't know. Maybe the monsters will be harder and scale correctly too. Yeah, it's like Skyrim. I mean, if we're designing, we can't mechanically move on. I understand that from a role playing perspective.

Yeah, I think that Brother Amias has every desire to go as quickly as possible. The importance of this woman. If she dies, we never get home. Yeah. Can't understand the importance of that. He is so physically drained that it's not just about being tired. He feels like he can't go on without resting.

It's like you're physically unable to complete this task unless you rest. Exactly, that's where his head's at. So I appreciate the in-character thing, yes. But I think that there is also a character reason to rest too. All right, well, maybe we'll rest and we'll do shop, we'll take care of shopping off air and then.

Yeah. Well, he's resting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't need your potency bullshit. Be a plus one potency room for my robe. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Break goes to sleep. Right, you rest. Yes. You wake up, genteel standing there. Did you have a nice nap? First of all, I don't appreciate your tone, and yes, I did. Oh good. I feel great.

I kinda like the side of you. A lele is a pile of dust. While you were sleeping. Probe. She perished. What? She passed. Kidding.

But see? See what could have happened? That is not the kind of thing to joke about. You want some warm milk so you can take another nap. I like this side of you. Your friend has been doing unspeakable things over the side of that cliff. I'm telling you.

He's your friend now. He's your friend now. He's not our friend anymore. He is. I'm not sure what experience you have on this planet. What what relationships you have with the creatures here, sort of agreements you have with them. I assure you, he is the worst creature you have ever encountered in your life. Please do not hold what he does or says against us. I assure you, it was an act of kindness that we take him with us. I assure you, it's not. It was an act of kindness that we take him with us. Yes.

We literally found him in a realm of nightmares. When you leave, if you leave, you take him with you. Yes. No. We will. Oh, okay. Back to Glary. Oh, yes.

I hope you find a cure for Lely, just so you can get this fucking guy out of here. Yes. I'm so sorry about him. Can you imagine bringing the worst person you know into a brand new town that needs you desperately and be like, great. To a new planet?

You hang with him. Introduce him to the lands. You're like, just so you know, we're not all like this. I know he's not a good representative. Sorry. All right. We will escort you to the Grotto's entrance when you are ready.

We're ready. We're using time to shower already. Ready. All right, let's fucking go. Let's rock. You walk outside and everyone is just kind of like amazed. It's one thing to like connect with this Oracle at Skywatch, you know, a quick little transmission

that O'Lellie probably was like, it happened, believe me, it happened, I did this. And the people are like, yeah, whatever, O'Lellie. It's another thing to have. I'll show up. Extraterrestrials just roll into town. Yeah, she speaks their language. Yeah, yeah, this has got to be just crazy. Where is the professor, by the way? Like where was the, where were we studying for? Ustulav.

Wait a minute. So these people have maybe never seen a human? Yeah. Yeah. Because they just mentioned Leshuntas and Formians, Formicans. Much less a goblin or a... Hitsune. Formica. Formican. Formica. You know, when you guys were kicking around that this was Castroville, we talked about

how maybe some super high level wizards have visited, but if they would have visited Severian, that's more of a cosmopolitan area compared to this. And so... We're like an Apollo mission. Right. Yeah. And then you walk into town and curse their sage yeah oops oops all right let's go you walk you to see Hubert on the edge of

the cliff doing terrible things brother a me is like babies on the beach he looks back sees sees him just takes one more just And slowly keeps walking So you see like pain in his face The ram is it's a tribute to your patience and your dedication to your faith You've been able to tolerate this fucking guy so long. So all lives are important. All lives are important. Worth saving. Pulls out a cigarette. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

And hear his voice and cries and sounds of we echo in your mind as you are led to the edge of town. Just beyond the edge of town a group of maybe 12, 13 of these elves headed These elves, headed up by Gentheal, walk you past these huge trees with gnarled branches that eventually come down to loom over a wide circular stone well. And, uh, Gentile walks up to the edge of the well and looks in and ushers you forward. And you look inside this well and there are ancient stone steps that spiral down into the ground. You know, those of you with dark vision can see that like, looks like it goes about 30 feet or so, um, and then just leads to a natural stone passageway at the bottom of the well that continues to descend lower and lower, like an incline, uh, and twists out of sight.

Tell my mother I said hello. We will. And we'll see you next week. Oh, thank you. Stinky staircase. There we go. Here we go. The lovely staircase of death.

I'll never die. No, no. It's time to make your membership official. Become an official member of the Naish today at JoinTheNaish.com. That's JoinTheNaish.com where you'll get access to exclusive podcasts and live streams you can't find anywhere else. See what everybody's talking about and join the Naish today at JoinTheNaish.com. dot com. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,