The Glass Cannon Podcast - Gatewalkers Episode 7 – The Tree Stooges

Episode Date: October 27, 2023

The heroes attempt to infiltrate Bolan's stronghold among the trees. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/wEWl4ZvTPIw This episode was sponsored by Demiplane, Foundry VTT and Norse Foundry. Check out Demiplane's Pathfinder Nexus and character creation tools at https://bit.ly/GCNOfficialTools See why tabletop gamers everywhere have made the switch to Foundry Virtual Tabletop at https://foundryvtt.com/gcp Visit https://manscaped.com and use the code "GCP" to get 20% off with free shipping. Visit https://factormeals.com/GCP50 and use the code "GCP50" to get 50% off. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for hundreds of hours of exclusive shows and benefits, make your membership official and join Glass Cannon Nation today by becoming a subscriber at jointhenaish.com. Watch new episodes when they premiere every Thursday at 8PM ET on youtube.com/theglasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chauncey was going to take me on a trip to the place he's from. From the producer of Megan, Five Nights at Freddy's and The Black Phone. Alice! Alice! Alice! Get out! Now. Many kids have imaginary friends. Ready or not. Just because you stop believing in them doesn't mean they're gone. Here he comes.

And they're angry you left. Imaginary. Now playing only in theaters. You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network. The premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. Man, I really wanted to help that dumb unicorn. You did.

The hero saved a unicorn and captured a rebel druid. No weapons on the ground now. I am outdone, but have mercy. After a brief interrogation. We came here looking for one man. Olan Nagaso. I can take you to him? I'm sure you can.

If you spare my life, we can make a deal here. Their prisoner gave up valuable information. It's an old gnome forest house up in the trees. Here in the wildwoods? Yes, deeper in. And they began to formulate a plan. What if we disguise ourselves as these Rebel Oak stewards? I was thinking that.

We do an old prisoner swap. The classic clones, and we come in. Wookiee prisoner trick. But the forest has eyes everywhere. We just see a snake slither in. Turn and look at them. The adventure continues. Talk about the ultimate away game.

Now. Thank you. Hello everybody and welcome back to the Glass Cannon Podcast. I've got something I want to throw at you. I saw a... No! Stop! I'm ready! It's my feces! Oh, that's weird. podcast. I've got something I want to throw at you. I saw a... No! It's my feces! No! I thought it was instant canceling.

Yeah. I think it'd be innovative. No one has ever done that on a YouTube video before, as far as I know. Guarantee we'd get more views. I read my NDA in my contract that it specifically had a feces-throwing clause. Did you guys not read that? Oh, man.

What's the clause? Troy may throw feces at you. Oh, okay. And you must accept it with your mouth open and arms wide open. You must accept with your mouth open and arms wide open. That was in the wording? That's in the writer name. I'm laying English.

I'm looking in my email. It says, and you cannot defend yourself, and you cannot run. I'm looking in my email. It says, and you cannot defend yourself and you cannot run. It would be any contract would be concerning if there was a line that said you cannot run. Their lawyers pushed back on that one. We stood firm. Don't feel too bad about it, Kate, because all of our contracts have that in there.

Yeah. So we're in it. I mean, that's what I thought. I know that Kate cannot, can have feces thrown at her. Oh, your guy says me. They all say that. Mine just says you. All right. Well, that's why I'm sitting

at this side of the table. What were you going to say? What were you going to throw at us? Well, now I'm sidetracked to something else. You guys know who Blippi is? No. I'll get back to my original.

The paperclip? No, no. That's Blippi. That's Blippi. That's Blippi. Don't be silly. That's close. That's close. Is his brother Blippi? Blippi, he's a kid. B paperclip? No, no. That's Clippy. That's Clippy. That's Clippy. Don't be silly. Is his brother Blippi? Blippi, he's a kid.

Blippi, the sandwiches. No, that's Blippi. I could go for Blippi. All right, guys, I'll see you later. Blippi is a, he's like a kid's host, a kid's show host, okay? And he has, I think he started on YouTube, and then he got his own series, and he became so popular, they have a second guy that plays Blippi for the Netflix show. Oh, I know who this is.

Okay. Yeah. So Blippi goes on tour, and he's the main guy, but then there's a lookalike Blippi that does the Netflix show, and he has all the same mannerisms, everything, and they're fun. The boys watch it from time to time. But there's some controversy about this guy, because before he became a children's show host, he did like gross out stuff on YouTube. And he went by the name of like Lex Grossman or something. Wasn't that the.

Rex Grossman was the quarterback for the Chicago Bears. But it was something like Lex Grossbeard or something. Anyways, and one of his most famous YouTube videos was he like. Steezy Grossman. Steezy Grossman was he like shit on his buddy and uh and now he is like one of the most popular uh child children's show hosts ever and uh i can't so this is what stuck because the the children's show right he was just trying to before that he was just shitting on his friends he was just shitting on his friends guys i gotta say when you Google it, Troy makes it sound really light.

Like, he shit on his friend. Blippi takes an explosive diarrhea shit. Hold on. That wasn't Blippi. That was Steezy Grossman. Steven John takes an explosive diarrhea shit on his nude friend's ass. It's

so much worse than you made it seem. It's bad. It's real bad. Did he let your kids watch this content? Well, I brought them up on the Steezy Grossman stuff, but now we've pivoted to Lippin. No, I mean, it is... You like his older stuff. I prefer his original stuff.

Before he went all corporate. He... When I say it's like... Have you heard of Miss Rachel? No. You guys don't know anything. I don't have kids. I don't have kids. In terms of like kids TV, whether it be YouTube.

Oh, I know Miss Rachel. She's a big deal. Oh, she's the one who got in trouble? They've all gotten in trouble. They've all gotten in trouble. No, I think she got in trouble for like being too nice or something. But like she,

they're huge. They're megastars now in terms of like kids TV hosts. I don't know what you would call them. They're like, he's like a step below the Wiggles, I would say, who I love. Anyways, that brought me back to the shitting. I haven't seen a movie in five years. Accuses us of not being up on the times because we don't know the Wiggles and Blippi.

You have a child. You have no excuse. She doesn't do screens yet. I love this. This is like the, I've only got one kid. She doesn't do screens yet i love this this is like the uh i've only got one kid she doesn't do screens yet which you live three take every screen in the house i'm dying i'm drowning what is uh jim gaffigan spit is like having a uh i don't remember having a third child is like imagine you're drowning and someone hands you a baby but uh all right getting back to my original thing this is what i wanted to throw at you i Imagine you're drowning and someone hands you a baby. Yeah, that's right.

But, all right, getting back to my original thing, this is what I wanted to throw at you. I saw this drink being made on TikTok, and it's called the Myrtle Beach. Now, I know, I think only Sydney and Kate and I are the coffee drinkers here, but I know everyone here enjoys a soda from time to time, diet or otherwise. Let me throw this out there.

Dr. Pepper. Yes. With a little bit of vanilla time, diet or otherwise. Let me throw this out there. Dr. Pepper. Yes. With a little bit of vanilla syrup. Yeah. Okay. And then coffee and half and half. No. Yeah.

It's called the Myrtle Beach. Nope. Wait, so it's- Dr. Pepper on ice. Fizzy. It's a Dr. Pepper, yeah. So yes, it's fizzy. So it's like a fizzy, like a nitro brew coffee?

I guess it's kind of like a nitro brew. Root beer float, almost. Yeah. I imagine there's like this, say again? Dr. Pepper. Dr. Pepper. What parts? Salt and Myrtle Beach.

I have to visualize this. Dr. Pepper. I think it's a whole can of Dr. Pepper, okay? Then you pour like a half a cup of coffee in there. Hot coffee? Ice coffee? Espresso. I don't know if it was espresso or not.

The point, the coffee's probably not burning hot, so it's going to melt all the ice. So if you pour coffee or a cool shot of espresso, vanilla syrup, half and half. Yeah. I think it sounds pretty good. Literally nothing about those appealing to me, but I understand that people might like it. Even the Dr. Pepper? You'd like a no on the Dr. Pepper? I don't drink soda.

Any soda, ever? I don't drink soda either. You don't have to say that like you're better than me. I didn't. Dr. Pepper is the the Dr. Pepper? I don't drink soda. Any soda, ever? I don't drink soda either. You don't have to say that like you're better than me. I didn't. Dr. Pepper is the best soda. Yeah, I don't drink soda often. By all accounts, when I did drink soda, it was Dr. Pepper. Wait, okay.

And ginger ale. So you're a Dr. Pepper person. Because some people are not Dr. Pepper people. They don't like- It's a very polarizing- What? I like Dr. Pepper. Skid?

I love Dr. Pepper. Oh, wow. Is this a table of- Who doesn't like Dr. Pepper? I don't. I hate it. What? You like Dr. Pepper, too? I don't understand. I only like Mr. Pepper. Skid? I love Dr. Pepper. Oh, wow. Is this a table of We all? Who doesn't like Dr. Pepper? I don't. I hate it. What? You like Dr. Pepper too? I don't understand. I only like Mr. Pibb. You're a fucking asshole. I only like squirt. I only soda. I drink squirt.

I only like squirt. I really didn't think that name through. Do you like Dr. Pepper really? Yeah. You do? Okay. That's fine. Yeah, I don't drink a lot of soda. But I, Diet Dr. Pepper I have sometimes. My mother-in-law loves Diet Dr. Pepper and always has it on hand, so occasionally you're like, that's what's there, so you drink it.

I think we should all try this at home. We should all make this. The Myrtle Beach? Yeah, and then FaceTime each other, and I'll take a sip at the same time. Why is it the Myrtle Beach? That's what it's called. Everything has a name. But why?

But why? What about Myrtle Beach? I don't know, because they're trash down there. That's what they drink. That's all they have. They don't have water. They don't have water. No, I have no interest at all, because I don't drink coffee. Yeah. So as soon as you add that flavor, that's a very

strong flavor, and I don't like that feeling of like... It reminds me of on Laverne and Shirley. Yes. Laverne used to drink milk and Pepsi. Yep. I was going to make that, but I know only you and I would get that reference. And 40 of our fans. That's gross.

Laverne would drink milk and Pepsi. Yeah. I remember there was an episode where she wasn't feeling well. Like, make me a milk and Pepsi. And I was like, what the fuck? I wonder if Lenny and Squiggy stopped by to give their two cents. You guys ever watch Laverne and Shirley? Yes.

Oh, you did. Okay. Nick at night. Nick at night. Oh, yeah. Oh, right. I can't even Google this drink. The Myrtle Beachverne and Shirley? Yes. Oh, you did. Okay. Nick at night. Oh, yeah. I can't even Google this drink. The Myrtle Beach? It's not showing up. I think TikTok is making fun of you and you don't know. They're trying to make you... I think you just got trolled by TikTok.

No, I think it looks great. Well, you can't find the drink called the Myrtle Beach. Are you remembering it correctly? I'm Googling Myrtle Beach, in quotes, plus coffee, plus Dr. Pepper. You're Googling it and you need to look it up on TikTok. They have different search engines. Type in TikTok.

I don't know what that means. On the search bar in TikTok. You know, that's how like Gen Z, like they don't Google shit. They go on TikTok and they look things up. There is a Dr. Pepper cream soda latte coffee recipe that does come up. So it might be more popular. People might just make this and then somebody named it the Myrtle Beach. Well, it's cream soda too?

I think it's going to taste like cream soda once you put that milk in there. This is a thing. I'm seeing cold brew and Dr. Pepper. There's got to be something with that interaction of flavors. I'm down to try it. Okay. Hey, let's do it later. Let's do it later.

We'll try the, why are you not shaking my hand? What's going on? Do I offend? I'm excited about this, and I think you should try one, too, because you don't like any of it, so you might be like, wow, that was delicious. I like Dr. Pepper. Next episode, or the episode after, I'm going to get all the ingredients. I'm going to make it.

You're going it like a pitcher myrtle peach are you wait are troy and sydney gonna come out of retirement as bartenders and make the drink wow let's take it to the next level let's add some captain and some fucking kaluuya now we got a drink i'm interested dude captain dr pepper it's awesome oh i've never had that oh yeah captain dr that would be good yeah That would be good. I only like soda if it has a pint of Captain Morgan in it. Then I really enjoy soda. How about like a quart, like a bottle of Tab? Remember Tab? I love Tab. Just like take a two liter bottle of Tab, dump it out, and then like a quart of Galliano.

Just mix that together. Ooh, Galliano. What is that? Is that the licorice liqueur? It's a vanilla liqueur. Oh. Ooh. Galliano.

Yes, it is a vanilla liqueur. It's like just super trashed and like go do aerobics. These are the dangerous, these are the dangerous mixes. Like people would do orange Fanta or orange soda. Fanta? Fanta. See, she's going to Europe. So she's Fanta Fanta don't you want to want to Fanta what are you talking how do you say it it's Fanta you sound dumb you sound like you're going to Greece with the point you sound dumb that was vicious I think you just took piercing damage for It's for real. You mix orange soda and you mix like pinnacle whipped or like a vanilla.

That's creamsicle. Cream soda. You just make a creamsicle. It's so dangerous. Man, when pinnacle whipped cream vodka came out, I think in the first three months I drank gallons of it. You get so fired up about sweet liquor. Sweet flavored liquor.

That was a phase. I went through a big phase. Everyone did. Did you use that in your pudding shots? When you made pudding shots was a phase. I went through a big phase. Did you use that in your pudding shots? When you made pudding shots? I did, I did. You made pudding shots? Oh yeah, way to the Christmas party. It's coming back. Please do pudding shots. You come in, you're handed

a pudding shot. I already had a headache. I just remember that you had those little plastic cups from a fast food restaurant with the little souffle cups. You have to order those cups from a fast food restaurant with the little cap. The souffle cups. You have to order those special. You would be like, pudding cups in the refrigerator. Pudding cups.

And I keep pushing them all night long, like halfway through the party. I'd be like, another pudding shot? They're good. You just take pudding. You make pudding. And then you add a ton of Cool Whip. So it adds like a nice consistency. Then you pour a bunch of booze in.

And you pour them in these little cups. You put them in the freezer. And they don't freeze because of the alcohol so it just makes this nice really cold consistency slurp them or you scoop them you scoop them i like to use the lid sometimes as a spoon that's what i do i always cut my mouth on the lid yeah i always slice my lips open on the lid it's a rookie mistake you gotta pinch the souffle cup and then you gotta stick your tongue in there and then just like it's like eating an oyster or just do the ron desantis just dip your fingers do you know the most famous do you know the most famous drink made with galliano uh no harvey wallbanger harvey wallbanger oh wow i went to bartending college too you know

they always taught you that the reason they call it a Harvey Wallbanger is because the bottle of Galliano is always way up in the top, like in the corner, banging against the wall. Yeah. That's the only drink you use. What else is in a Harvey Wallbanger? I majored in Harvey Wallbanger. Vodka and OJ. I think it's a screwdriver with this vanilla liqueur. But I always thought it was licorice.

Sure enough. No. Vanilla. So next stream, we're doing Myrtle Beaches. Then we're doing spiked Myrtle Beaches then we're doing Spiked Myrtle Beaches then we're doing Harvey Wallbangers

Captain and Dr. Pepper Captain and Dr. Pepper yeah and then the Tab and the Galliano Tab and Galliano a Jane Fonda

that's what I'm calling Fonda make sure you're here next week Jane Fonda because we're gonna be wasted and like really on edge

yeah but stick around for after the break're going to be wasted and like really on edge. Yeah. But stick around for after the break. We'll just be sober and funny. This episode is brought to you today by Manscaped. The brand that took your balls to space is now launching them into the ultra sphere. Introducing the lawnmower 5.0 Ultra. This features a new cutting edge design and next generation dual skin safe blade heads

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It's like the LA Rams are in town. Really? It's a little ramish, right? It's like I'm in a high school marching band with the mustard and navy color. It does have high school color kind of vibes to it, for sure. Why'd you have to call it mustard? That really ruins it. It's yellow.

Fun story. Did I ever tell you guys that I was responsible for my elementary school's mascot being chosen? Did I ever tell you that story? No, but maybe. I was the vice president of my elementary school student council. And we were coming up with a mascot for the school. And my idea was to be, it stedman high stedman elementary school in denver and i my idea was the knights because you know i was super into dnd and it was

just like i thought it was a nice like kind of homage that got voted on the student body voted for it and it had like a blue and yellow color scheme like this to get an illustration we had like sweatshirts and stuff and i went by there a couple years ago i like walked by the school and it's still the stedman knights wow my number one accomplishment there it is knowing you i thought it was going to be that you wanted to make them the stedman stedmans as in stedman graham the uh the uh consort of oprah yeah that would have been a psychic feat on my part long before he was what was the former mascot? There wasn't one. Oh,

you just made a mask. I made, we made, it was just, we need a mascot. And I was just like, how about the Knights? Cause it's like,

yeah. Cause they kill other people. They kill other people. And they're in a chivalry. And then, and then, and then, and then,

and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then,

and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then,

and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then,

and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then,

and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then,

and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then,

and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, caste system they come from and I think they're better than other people. Slaughtering of villagers. It is funny. My high school mascot

was the Crusaders. And when I look back on it, I'm like, not great. Not a great one. One of my high school mascots was the Rebels and it was blue and gray. Wow.

Do you guys remember your grade school, high school, college, or grads, and then grad school possibly mascots? Like mine was

Saints, Eagles, Eagles, and then a lot. Go Birds. Eagles, Eagles, Eagles,

Eagles. Yes, dude. Yes. And then the sad little Columbia Lions. We were the bees in elementary school. Adorable.

And then we were, and then in middle school and high school, the whole town, everybody was the Raiders. And we got put on a watch list. Oh, the Raiders, right, right. We got put on a watch list because our geometric logo was, let's charitably say racist for Native Americans. Charitably. So it was redesigned.

And when I was in high school they were like hey we should probably change this like if someone's saying this is bad we should probably change this so they did change it and then i was the the uh the fighting violets in college you went to a real tough town and then the fighting violets nyu was the fighting violets then Then we were the Scary Pillows. And then grad school, Rams, and then the Penguins, I think. Wow. Wow. That's a lot. Wow.

What were yours? McDermott was our elementary school mascot. We did not have one. Yeah, we didn't have one. But high school was an elevated night, in my opinion. We were the Royal Lancers. Oh, that's a good one. So it was like on a horse with a huge lance.

Like that was the image. And then college was the hawks. Sir Will was your high school mascot. Yes. Sir Will was my high school mascot. Wow. Wait, your college was the hawks? Hawks.

Mine was hawks. Yeah? Yeah. Hunter Hawks. I had crusaders all through. Our school district was all one mascot. You have got so many mascots. We had Crusaders and then Hawks.

Yeah. Well, did you go to grad school? I mean, that was the excuse. They could both mention their grad school. No, I didn't do that because of money and student loans. And grad school is stupid and doesn't get you anything. I'm 45 and still paying them. My grad school was free.

Or one of them. This guy. Raggert. I mean, he just won't stop. Double it down. The other one was not, but I got fun. Grad school, the angry daisies. Kate, what were yours?

You're looking them up. I'm like Googling this right now. So like my elementary school, I don't think had a mascot when I was there. They don't really need them. They don't think had a mascot when I was there. If it doesn't really need them, they don't feel teams. Interesting fact, my elementary middle school and high school were all maroon and gold.

Garnet and gold was their colors. Oh yeah. I'm not really fond of, but yeah, my middle school and high school, the mascot was the Raider. Just a singular Raider a raider yeah uh well it was a native american on a horse so were you also were you on the same

we were put on a watch list of offensive mascots that's what i was probably i wonder if they changed it uh nope i just looked it up and it still says that good old albany so albany raider capital of our state good job we uh our we need to move on but my elementary school was the saint joseph saints i went to catholic school my old not catholic i was protestant uh saint joseph saints and uh there were 17 kids in my graduating class well he went to saint joseph oh I thought you were like him. No, he's no saint. I'm just saying.

He's no saint. He went to a St. Joseph's. I'm sorry, Troy. Not yet, anyway, Joe. We didn't have a mascot, but that was our, if we did, it would be the saint. And the St. Joseph's Saints, and we had 17 kids in my graduating class, which meant like between seventh and eighth grade, there were like maybe 10 kids that could play on the basketball team. And we would play all the public schools where like, I can remember in eighth grade, just dudes that had like mustaches and a kid slam dunking over.

This is not fun. Yeah. The saints are known to be bad. This is not fun. Yeah. The saints are known to be bad. But these saints are about to go marching in to a forest keep. Yeah.

To a heavily fortified, elevated facility of death. Yep. I used Lothlorien as the metaphor here. I think it fits because as Lucky and Zephyr saw, it does look like a bit of a civilization amongst the trees. Belong to the gnomes. The gnomes were given these enclaves that they could build out to be their own.

And clearly Bolan has displaced them along with his new allies. So what did we do last week? We, um, was there a fight? Yep. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, it was the end of the fight. You wrapped up a fight against, uh, Oh, this was the, the sacrificial ritual.

Yes. All right. So you freed the unicorn. Yeah. Freed the unicorn. Blood out later. Blood out later and died. It died to come to its wounds later. Um,

off camera, you, you killed two of the Oak stewards, but one of them surrendered and you captured her, uh, Corey Mono or Corey Mona. Mona. And,

she's a real nasty creature. And she tells you that she, along with a bunch of other people have rallied to Bolan's banner because they believe what he believes. Stop putting people first, nature first, then people. a bunch of other people have rallied to Bolan's banner because they believe what he believes. Stop putting people first. Nature first, then people. This ritual they were trying to conduct was to bring back the obnubulate curse, but to bring it back in a way that wouldn't just affect elves, but would affect all people. Real Thanos vibes here. Like, let's just, let's reset. People don't, they're not treating each other well. She even said, look, look at you. You came here and killed two of us. This is what you do. This is what your

kind does. You destroy everything in your path. It's against the natural order. Bolan, he knows. He walked through the gate and he came back with knowledge. He knows that we need to reset and put nature first. Dark stuff. The way she looks at poor Buggles. They seem a little bit extra racist about the goblins. Yeah, well, this is the most unnatural thing of all. Allying with one of those.

But aren't goblins naturally occurring creatures? I think most people would agree with you, but not Corimona. So you tie her up, you hog tie her, you throw her in an ox cart and you drag her along. She gives you the location of where Bolon's hideout is. And so you get there about a mile away, camp out, but then Zephyr and Lucky decide to go scout. And you see lights on and all of these little huts, rope bridges connecting the huts, a big tower in the back with a windmill. And it seems like Corimono is correct.

Only one winding staircase leading into the compound towards the south going up to one landing. Looks like some Oak stewards were perhaps manning those bridges, watching. And you're like, okay, doesn't look like we can get up there. Abnubulate. It's checkering. Abnubulate. I'm sorry, what were you trying to pronounce? Abnubulate.

I like abnubulate better than abnubulate. It's a real word. What does it mean? And Troy was pronouncing it wrong this whole time. I wouldn't be shocked. Abnubulate. Dark and and dim or to cover with a cloud I like obnubulate too Obnubulate

But it's like there's a noob in the middle Obnubulate Who else is doing that? It's me Obnubulate Fuck that, obnubulate, way better That's how we say it. You're like a good nub in there.

Yeah. The fuck were we talking about before I was so rudely interrupted by a computer? Zephyr and Lucky. Zephyr and Lucky did some scouting and you saw, okay, only one way in. Maybe we can climb the trees. Nope. They're like covered in something and they have these unnatural spikes coming out of them. That's right.

They're greased like traffic poles, traffic light poles in Philadelphia. What were they? Championship. Oh God, I forgot. No, that's in Philadelphia.

Crisco. We didn't, we didn't find out. We didn't get close enough. We just, we had a whole bit. No, but the thing about Philly,

right? The traffic light. No, he was saying we had a bit about what was dripping down. We had an in-game bit. Oh, wait, what was our bit? Semen. Usually it's semen. Shockingly, Troy didn't go to semen.

I don't think it was. I don't think that would glisten. I don't know about that. I could go up to it later and give it a taste and see. But in the meantime, we see a pudding shot. That's actually what it is. Is there a linden tree around here somewhere?

Lucky and Zephyr walk away. This is off the rails. And as you walk away talking nonchalantly, we see, you don't see, a snake slither up into a clearing and just turn and watch you. We fade out of there. We come back and now the sun is coming up into a clearing and just turn and watch you. We fade out of there. We come back and now the sun is coming up on a new day. I've lost track of the days already. I promised myself I would, I know it started on a badius six.

It's probably like a badius nine now, maybe 10. We've already lost track. We're terrible at this. Who cares? The badius. I think it's cold. It's winter.

Now, you guys were talking about some sort of plan. Little Wookiee prisoner thing. You have three Oak Stewart outfits here. I just want to have a very clear idea because I want to reward creativity and punish stupidity. So really let me know what the plan is. My idea was that the more human looking

of us would... Brother Ramius and zephyr and talitha talitha and talitha yeah would don the oak warden would put on the the costumes that we've stolen and then they would be acting as though the less human looking of us would be the the prisoners they'd be escorting us in to play on their racism. Yes. Which I think is a great plan. It makes sense. So who would be the two prisoners again? Buggles and? Buggles and Lucky. And Lucky. Okay. And that actually works out well. Well, no, it's two women and a man. Now

you killed two men and a woman, but you do have disguise kits. But keep that in mind. You're trying to replace, they're expecting two men and a woman to return. And you'd be flipping that. But it's not like you'd be stacked on Lucky's shoulders. Like, oh, look at this. I'm a lady. There it is. Two men and a woman.

Three goblins in a trench coat. Talitha is a master of disguise. She can pass for a man. That's true. All right. So that's the plan. And then where is Corimona during all of this? Tied up. Tied up. In the woods. In the woods. Far enough away. Yeah. With So that's the plan. And then where is Cori Mona during all of this? Tied up.

Tied up. In the woods. In the woods. Far enough away. Yeah. With the horses and the oxen. And we put stuff in her mouth so she can't yell. Yeah.

Okay. Forest moss. Gross. If you love nature so much, why don't you eat it? Eat it! Actually, I think that forest moss provides, if you need water, they always say squeeze. Yeah. Well, that's great.

Exactly. We're not inhumane. Yeah, she won't die. We're abiding by the Geneva Convention. That's right. Stuffing her face with moss. Stuffing her face with moss. I can't breathe.

It was her last words. Drink it. Drink it. So you leave her about a mile away, tied up with the horses and the camp. Maybe we separate the horses. Yeah, I don't want her near the horses. Okay. She would never hurt a horse.

She would never hurt a horse. No, I don't want to ride my horse away. That's my horse. Yeah, I don't want her near the horses. Okay. She would never hurt a horse. She would never hurt a horse. No, I don't want to ride my horse away. That's my horse. Yeah, okay. Yeah, when you role play, is it hard to role play a druid, someone who would never hurt a horse, Troy? I wouldn't know. And we spin her around a bunch, so she gets confused. So she's blindfolded as well?

Yep. Yeah. Okay. My God. She is going to die out there. Just leave her in the fey wilderness. Blind, hands tied. If we get captured, we'll be like,

whoever you kill us, you'll never know where Corimona is. Exactly. Corimona's body is. That's our plan. It is funny. It's like Dune. It's just like, we're not killing her. The forest is killing her.

Right, exactly. All right. So you guys are. All right. So I would then say. Rest is Oak stewards. Oh, man. And then Lucky and Buggles, do you have, Buggles, you don't really roll with a weapon out, right?

I don't. I don't have any equipment or anything. Yeah. So I think that. Why have a knife now? I think both of Lucky's weapons should be on brother Ramius. Yeah. And she knows where to grab them.

We have a plan to just grab them. Um, and we'll stay close to each other. I think also Lucky wants to use the disguise kit as Talitha is doing like her making herself look more like a man. And she wants to make like something that looks like a grievous wound, like on her head or something just to make it look like there was a fight. Um, that's a good idea.

So like she wouldn't be a threat and also, yeah. And also brains showing a little bit. Yeah. I remember massive head wound, Harry. Oh yeah. I love the data. Oh,

the dog. I smell my dog. Great. That's an dog really. You must smell my dog. The great SNL skit. We should get our story straight. Because we're bringing prisoners. There would be a, like, and we're covered in blood. So there would be. It's a really, it's really not hard.

We tried to stop the ritual. Yeah. We didn't. Buggles and I. We tried to stop the ritual. They killed the rest of our party. And detained us. We're the survivors.

No, we could just say they stopped the ritual. They freed the unicorn and we asked you for mercy or whatever. Oh, I thought we were saying that we were trying to say

that. Sure, we could, but like why? Also, like if we said that the ritual completed, like wouldn't, would they expect like.

Exactly. They might know that we're lying. And then we don't have to roll deception. No, that's your, your, your,

your. I mean, almost everything we're going to say is truthful. Almost everything, except for who the three captors are. You know what I mean? Like, they tried to stop the ritual and they were successful. Like, that's all true. No deception rolling.

We need a second unicorn. Yes, exactly. We've come for another unicorn. And we brought prisoners. Bring us a virgin. Do you have any more virgins? To lure them our other virgins

died is that is that like mythologically canonical yeah that's like that was one of the in the

the lore of the medieval times that was the way you would lure a unicorn was to sit a virgin

in a meadow and the unicorn is supposed to like come up and like lay their head and gently in their lap and fall asleep. Fucker. And then they pull a knife. And then you saw the hornet. That's how you knew.

But the unicorn had sex with the woman. It's shocking that they never encountered a unicorn even with that rock steady logic there. I know. I know. All right. So you roll up. Three of you dressed as oak stewards. Two of you with like fake

bindings, I would assume. Weaponless, lucky. Were there guards at the base of the stairs that you guys were scouting? Did you see? You did not see people walking around on the forest floor, only up above. You know what? My bindings are real. Okay. Go ahead. Tie my hands. That's what you're into? I'm scared of

buggles from time to time. Do you need me to roll a deception check on the disguise that I'm going to do? Or do you want me to roll it when I... Oh, when the time is right. Hey, I might even roll it. Oh boy. Oh god. Do you know my bonus? I do. But I'm going to ask you anyways to save time. Alright.

You guys come up on this. John, you see in the distance, winding staircase leading up to a single landing. From that landing looks like two rope bridges. One goes to the west, one goes to the northeast, leading to other buildings built amongst the trees.

Once you get to a clearing, you hear shouts from above, and you look up and you see an oak steward with a crossbow trained on you. Who goes there? I guess you're Cori Mona. Cori Mona. I'll be Cori Mona. Maybe we got the other names from Cori Mona. Who is good at this?

I'm not good at deception. I just have a plus zero. As you get there, he's like, who's Cori Mona again? So you got the names. What were the other names of the people we killed? We would have asked Cori Mona this when we had her draw the map and all this. Fenton, Digglesby and Walter Cronkite.

Walter Cronkite. Walter Crumbite. Fenton Digglesby. Fenton Digglesby and Walter Crumbite. And Corey Mona. And Corey Mona. Just like Cher, only as well. Talitha is going to have, in her disguise,

covered herself in some blood. She also was grievously wounded in the face area as well. So it is I, Fenton Digglesby. You look like a woman with those wounds. What? It doesn't make any sense. How are we supposed to adequately deceive when it's pure nonsense

we're talking to? Do you see? Those wounds make you look like a woman. That's so stupid. What do you want me to do? Your wounds have given you a feminine guise. Yes, you should have

seen the weapons they used against us. But we need medical assistance, and we brought prisoners. We were able to vanquish most of their party and capture the two remaining non-humans. Non-humans, you say? So what happened? The ritual was disrupted. The ritual was disrupted. We must beg Bolan's forgiveness. Was it not completed?

No, we need a backup unicorn. Bring us the spare. Release the spare unicorn. What is your deception? Plus five. Okay. And I am going to cast guidance. Thank you.

So he's like praying intensely that this works. You don't need to see his unicorn. Could I have popped a mutagen before we walked into the clearing? Sure. Okay, so I get another plus one for a silver tongue mutagen. And your Guidance gives him a? Plus one on the check. Plus one.

All right, so a cumulative plus two, and I rolled. Okay. So the guy on the bridge is like, hold there, and goes out of sight. It was a plus seven, though. Cumulative. A cumulative seven, because he's got a plus four. Right, I know. I had the erosion.

Okay. And you see him just go out of sight behind the first building that the stairs leads up to. Too long. Oh, no time. Dude, like I was going to say, Brother Ramius is like shaking in his boots. Like, I am shaking currently in my sneakers. This is terrifying. Yeah, you just look up.

It's very impressive. Comes back. All right. Bring the prisoners up. Are they tied? They're bound. That's the word I meant to use. In some sort of competition with each other,

the score is currently even. We're both equal. All right. And you make your way towards the stairs. What would you say the order of the party is? Lucky, Zephyr, Talitha, Buggles, Ramius? Lucky's near Ramius, so if anything goes down, she can quickly break her fake bindings

and grab her weapons from Ramius. I feel like you guys should be in the middle of us. Yeah. Though, to be fair, you're the most convincing. Maybe you're in front with Brother Ramius right behind you. Sure. Leading me. Poking me in the back.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I got to be right with you. And Lucky has like, you know, her eye looks like it's fucked up. I could even be using your weapon. You know what I mean? Yeah. So that it's in my hand.

You just whip it away from me. She's leading it. Lucky, Brother Ramius, Talitha, Boggle, Zephyr. So the prisoners are sort of like sandwiched between you.

Let's go to the map. Oh, God. Oh, wait. All right. Did you leave the oven on? No, I just think I don't want to be the first one

that they see or talk to. That's all. Talitha should be in the front. Okay, so Talitha, then me, then you. Okay. I'll use your weapon to... But that would be anti-Druid, wouldn't it? Just stand in front.

You're in front of all. Then Lucky, then me. Have me on the rope. The prisoner rope. Perfect. The most obviously disguised character will go first. All right, so once again, it's Talitha, Lucky, Brother Ramius, Buggles, Zephyr.

Yes. Okay. Now, we will go to the map, and let's see what Talitha sees, since Talitha is up front. We're not on there. Oh, I know. I'm building suspense.

We're not on there. We're not on there yet. I don't know if he knows we're not on there. Soon, I know. I'm building suspense. We're not on there. Are you guys? We're not on there yet. I don't know if he knows we're not on there. Soon it will be time for you to see what Talitha says. Oh, God. It's happening. Oh, God. It's happening.

I see a lot of fog of war. It's a very narrow staircase. Oh, because we're not Talitha, so we can't see it, but I bet you Matthew's bot can see it. Oh, I don't see anything but Lucky's butt. so we can't see it, but I bet you Matthew's bot can see it. Oh, I don't see anything but Lucky's butt. And behind me is Buggles. Talitha, you are in the front there. Yes.

Can I ask you a question? Yeah. When you roll the GM checks, do you use neon green, for example? No, no, no. Yeah, I didn't think so. You use your shitty die. No, all my dice are beautiful because these dice are from Norse Foundry.

Norse Foundry. You guys familiar with Norse Foundry? I am. All your random number generating needs, that Norse Foundry? That one indeed, Skid. They're one of our sponsors, along with Foundry VTT, which we're using right now, and what you'll soon be using, Demiplane, for your character sheets. To subtract your hit point total.

Subtract your hit point total, for example. For example. And to build a new character on Demiplane. For next week. Let's go. All right, you see, boom. One, Oak Stewart. Right up ahead, just to the left of the rope bridge to the northeast.

And then shugga-gunk-a-goo, a second Oak Steward. And I don't see this. This is making me very nervous. Yeah, like Zephyr can't see anything because Zephyr's at the bottom of the staircase. I just see Buggles and Ramius. Oh, man. I can't even see the second one. In fact, Talitha, I will move you up one square and you will now see the second

Oak Steward standing on the rope bridge leading to the east. You all can file in behind Talitha. Okay, I moved up a little bit. Now I can see one. Oh, my gosh. Nervous! I've got this blade in my hand. I will never remember the name of your weapon. If you have the... Kopesh.

Kopesh is the curved one and the Wakizashi is like a mini katana. Yeah, the Wakizashi is like in my belt. Kopesh is in my hand, pointed right at your back. That's an exotic pairing. You probably shouldn't hold that as the Oak Steward. It's an Anthem. You can't use a metal weapon.

It's behind you. I'd like to know what it is again. What is it again? An Anthem? Remember when we played the Ananthema in Indianapolis? That's right. I love it. It's ananthema. Beautiful.

Beautiful. Beautiful. Anathema. I'll have you know that I mispronounced this once and also felt dumb. Anathema. There you go. Yep. I said anathema once and they never let me hear the end of it.

But it wasn't as dumb as yours. Ananthema? Anathema. I'm never saying it again. They haven't said it yet. Do you know the national ananthium? I'm never saying it again! You haven't said it yet. Do you know the national ananthium? Yeah. Oh Canada!

It's a co-culture show. Oh Canada! I don't talk about your weapons and shit. I'm not a druid. A guy on the bridge comes up. Tell me again. This is the one that was pointing at you. Tell me again what happened at the ritual site.

We were trying to, oh, and she's playing up the injury, so that's why her voice is off. My voice might be wrong. We were trying to remove the horn of the unicorn. A party of them set upon us, these two and three others, and they released the unicorn and interrupted the ritual and almost killed us. We managed to kill the other three and capture these two. Capture them?

For what? To question them? To question them. To present them to Boland. They were sent from Seven Archers. Bring the sent from Seven Archers. Yes. They were sent directly to us. Yes, they are no doubt getting wise to Boland's schemes. They were sent directly to us. Yes, they are no doubt getting wise to Bolan's schemes. They carried a writ.

A bark writ. Bring the prisoners forward. Let me see them. There, you, get up here. And, uh, yeah, we'll push Lucky forward. You guys have on the masks that they have. They have the same leafy masks.

And so, yeah, place yourselves forward to lethe. It's a single file staircase. You need to move forward to present Lucky. And I will sheathe the weapon, like, sneakily as she goes up. What was that? Steward robe. And then stand behind Lucky. What's that, Walter? What are you hiding there?

Crap feet, or whatever your name is. All right, so Buggles comes up, and Zephyr hangs back on the stairs. And the guy on the bridge steps forward, and the other one steps forward as well. Really close to both of you. It's real tight in here. Just kind of eyeing you up and down. Ah, yes. I know of these walking cats.

Interesting. Ah, yes I know of these walking cats Interesting And then the one to the north Says, what's that? Looks down at his shoulder And then he lifts his arm up No And slithering out of the sleeve The snake His shirt is a snake

And the snake slithers out of the sleeve down his hand, around his body, coiling down to the floor, and then comes right up to your feet, Lucky. And just snake sniffs you like... What is it?

What is it? What is it you smell? And then it's, it like perks up, you know, a snake can like lift its head up, perks and looks towards the back and the direction where Zephyr is. And then the snake slides back up

to the Oak Steward's body, going up the leg and then pops out of its like shirt and just whispers something in its ear. I feel like I'm slowly reaching my hand to the back of my robe. But also, so what? It saw me walking around. It saw you scouting to attack. That's what you did. But it doesn't know that.

It's a snake. It saw me walking, and then I went and disrupted the ritual. It doesn't know. But I was there, too, and I'm in a robe. It saw me walking and then I went and disrupted the ritual. It doesn't know. Exactly. I was there too. And I'm in a robe. But you're masked. Yes, but it slithered at me. I'm just saying, I don't think this snake is that smart.

Brother Ramius, what is your deception? Come on. What are we doing here? I was asking what your deception score is. So defensive. My deception score is, I'm mad that you make me say this on air. Plus two, actually. Okay. Better than I thought.

They're looking at all of you. Can I aid Brother Ramius? Hey, don't you give him some more paint? You did when you said, put that weapon away, you dummy. You paint his fur orange. It's an anthem to them. It's an anthem. Anathium?

What is it? Anathium. What? Guy looks at all of you, looks at Talitha. She's holding like a wound that she painted on her neck. Yeah. Squirting ketchup packets between her fingers. There's a squib.

A little blood. That's who's that. My eye. And then looks at Buggles. All right. We will bring the catfolk to Bolan. Dispose of the goblin now. He would not wish to see this creature.

Oh, wait, I have lots of valuable information. Oh, really? Such as? Such as troop movements. Troop movements? Yes, many troop movements. The army is amassing against you. They maltreated me. I was a servant and I know... Supply, you! Help! He's going to hurt me again!

They keep hurting me. He keeps talking about... Something about the oak stewards and seven archers massing to take the forest. These are lies. You can't trust what a goblin says. It's true! Soldiers from the south, they've come and joined them in the city. They will soon march on you.

And then I speak in Amuron and I pretend that I can't speak common so that they can only rely on Buggles for information. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

This one here, Cucumber, tells me he smelled her scent last night below the trees. And yet you said you found them disrupting your ritual. I mark. I mark. I'm a cat and I mark with my glands and that's what it definitely smelled so I just like

psst the spraying did the cat just urinate on you I sprayed I sprayed I didn't pee I hope the cat's

peeing on me again they both stow their crossbows and you see them start to grab their shillelaghs. I should confess. We lost them last night. They escaped from our camp,

and we didn't want to admit both the failure of the ritual and also that we had lost the prisoners to Bolan, but we were able to recapture them and bring them here, but we didn't want to come back until we had the prisoners in. So they must have gotten loose amongst here. We were chasing them. Penton. Sound

different. They slashed my throat. This one, the cat with the blade slashed my... ... ... ... Where is Corimona? slash to my... Ironhooker Falls. Where is Corimona?

Back here. And from hearing Corimona talk, I feel like I'm trying to mimic her voice. The cat got away last night. I went out and got her back. What is your deception skill? Nice one, Kate. Plus zero.

Oh. Respectable. Kate. Plus zero. Oh. Respectable. Fancy plus zero. Could have been negative. Could have been negative. I did not put anything into charisma because I didn't think I'd need it. All right. Let's take a quick break.

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Actually, it's funny. Sydney and I were in a legacy session like two weeks ago, and we both happened to show up at the session with a Factor cold-pressed juice. The juices are so good, too. Anyway, Factor is a sponsor of the GCP. And if you want to try it out, you can get 50% off. If you use our code, head to factormeals.com slash GCP50 and use code GCP50 to get 50% off. That's code GCP50 at factormeals.com slash GCP50 to get 50% off. Zephyr, of all... Talitha? There's no Talitha here. I'm Fenton....have all attempted to deceive them with clothing, some bonuses, voice. The one with the snake known as Cucumber. Straight out of the book.

So cute. Cool that everybody names their snakes funny stuff in Pathfinder. Silly stuff. Says, cute. Cool that everybody names their snakes funny stuff in Pathfinder. Silly stuff. Uh, says, alright, uh, I'm not sure which way you want to go. The door to the, um,

west here will be barred. We can't even pass. You can try your luck bringing, uh, them to Bolan here to the northeast, but those creatures are nasty in there. From our talk with Corimona, do we have any understanding of what's to the west? Yeah, she said, like, because you would ask for a map and whatnot. And so she had told you that's like a greenhouse to the west.

not and so she had told you that's like a greenhouse to the west um and then uh you would know to the northeast is like a kind of a workshop but he's saying that there's creatures in there that are nasty i i say we just go if we get yep if they're pointing us get out of this room let's just walk out of this room yep all right so we the to the northeast is the way towards bolon uh yes all right uh can i do a quick perception to see if they're lying to us Let's just walk out of this room. Yep. All right. So to the northeast is the way towards Bolon? Yes. Okay. Can I do a quick perception to see if they're lying to us? Mm-hmm.

22. 22? No, it seems that you have tricked them. All right. All right. Thank you. Thank you, as always, for guarding our stronghold. On you. Onward.

Rawr. guarding our stronghold. On you! Onward! Round! So we'll push Lucky and Buggles to the door to the northeast. Okay. And move yourselves. Follow right behind. Alright, Buggles, Lucky, go ahead. You guys walk.

Or Lucky, you go first. And I'll go right behind you. And then Buggles behind me. Whoa! Isn't it cool how you move and the light just slides? Amazing, because we walked out of... So this was like a hut in a tree. So we walk out onto a rope bridge.

Oh, cool. It's only like five or ten feet long, but then you can see out to the whole setup. Oh, that's awesome. That is cool. Okay. So we start walking along. I'm just trying to stay close to Lucky

because I have her weapons. And your hands are? Still bound. Fake tied. Yeah, fake tied. Okay. All right. Open the door.

He says in a fake voice. Cool fake voice. Stupid. So who opens the door? The president? voice. Stupid. So, uh, who opens the door? The president? Yep. Yeah. Push it open. Yeah, push it. You push it open, and you can

see inside, and it looks like workbenches and tool-filled pegboards are lining the walls of a completely trashed workshop. There are half-finished carvings and wooden apparatuses all strewn across the floor, and along the eastern wall, which you can see best,

several shelves have been knocked over and piled with detritus to form what looks like a little nest. From where you're standing, Lucky, you might see that there's a door to the north detritus to form what looks like a little nest. From where you're standing, Lucky, you might see that there's a door to the north where you could see from the rope bridge leads to another rope bridge further into the compound. Also looks like there is a staircase around the edge, which you can't see on the map right now, but... Actually, can you?

Yeah, from where, if you enter the room there, Lucky, right to there, you see it looks like some sort of staircase in the back of the room there. However, there are also some creatures in here. You see two of them are like flying, and they look like this. What in the world? That's kind of cute. Kind of like a cross between a bat, a mouse, and a pig. And a goblin. And a goblin.

And they're tiny little creatures flying about. They must be the denizens of the nest, and they have just like a little pouch around them. And then in the back, there is a horrible looking creature on the ground. Oh, no. Oh, thank you. Horrible looking creature in the back. How would I describe it? They're like covered head to toe by a crustacean like exoskeleton.

And you can hear it clacking and rattling as it moves to address you. You said the horrible creatures were the other way. It has a maul in its hand. And it's only like two feet tall. It's a tiny creature. And it has a maul in its hand and it addresses you it says trespassers in our domain what are you doing here you do not have permission to walk through uh talitha will elbow her way past buggles excuse me these are prisoners We're taking them to

Bolan. And as Talitha steps on that exact square, a trap goes off. Oh! So, I mean, literally, Lucky, you walked just to the right of the trap, and Talitha stepped right on it.

So there's, like, all this shit on the floor. You step on the trap. Oh no. And give me an acrobatics check as this thing just like, the caltrops go flying into the air. Not a reflex save, huh? No, acrobatics to see if you can like

move out of the way of these exploding caltrops. If only it was me. Eight. Okay, You take three points of piercing damage and one persistent bleed damage. Oh. And as long as you're taking that persistent bleed damage, you'll take

a minus five circumstance penalty to your speed. You have the option to pluck the caltrops free with an interact action, which would reduce the flat check DC to recover from the bleed damage to 10 from 15. But you're not in combat yet, so let's just talk me through this. She's like, why would you do that to us?

We meant you no harm. We're here. We're trying to get to Boa. We have prisoners. The little guy with them all is like. And the two little things flying go. It's not funny. It's not funny. It's not funny.

Why don't you walk in a little further? See what else we have for you. I pluck the caltrops out. You pluck the caltrops out. Okay. And then just roll a recovery here where you're not in combat. Ten. Okay.

So you stop the bleeding. But you take one damage. You do take one damage. So four total. Yeah. Just blood is gushing out of your foot and you're able to pluck it out. Ow!

Prisoners? What prisoners? The cat and the goblin. We're taking them to Bolan. Taking them to Bolan? Bolan won't even talk to us anymore! We are in charge of upgrading the fort's defenses. He has given us a position of honor, yet he will not parlay with us! Why is that?

Well, perhaps because a cat and a goblin were escaped last night and ran around free below here and nobody noticed them. All right. Leave one of them to us. We shall have our fun with it, and in exchange we will let you pass through our

domain. It is not acceptable that we must take them to Bolan. Perhaps we may parley on your behalf. We are not bargaining with you, Oak Stewart. Leave one for us to play with, and then you may pass. Which one would you have? The cat. The cat.

What you have The cat Yes She looks delicious The two little flying things I hate these things I'm using this opportunity of the Whatever negotiation we're in to case the room Make sure these are all the creatures

That are in here It does appear to be all the creatures And what is your perception? Just see. I'm going to do a two for traps on the, caltrops on the floor in front of us. Plus six. Plus six. And I think I have a bonus for trap finding, don't I? No, I don't.

I didn't go with you. There is a lot of shit on the floor here, but you see in the general vicinity around both edges of the stump that separates the middle of both sides of the room, you don't see any other traps. You feel pretty confident about that. Three creatures that you can see. Two flying and then one really crazy looking.

Kind of has a alien vibe to it with the mall on the floor, the leader of this group. Lucky, as the guy with the mall says that, like leave the cat to us, Lucky would like to tilt her head up with her one good eye and do intimidating glare at him. Okay. Give me a roll here against its will, DC. See if you demoralize

it. That's going to be a 19. Oh! She was the one who did this to me. Be careful with her. Make sure her bones tight, her bindings tight. You're welcome to check. She's terrible. She'll pee on you. She just did it outside.

She holds out her wrist so you can come check. No, lay down on the floor and I will come. So you've frightened him. You're frightened of a cat. Well, she's much larger than us. Lay down and leave the room and close the door. We'll let you know when we're through. How may we pass through this trap-laden mess?

You will just take your time. There are no more traps yet. Lay down on the floor and close the door. We'll be done in a moment She crouches down Lucky crouches down What do you do, Talitha? Talitha will start to walk through the room

To get to the other side of them Okay, so you're gonna walk past She's gonna wink at Lucky And Lucky winks with her good eye So both her eyes are closed. I'm just gonna get to the other side of the alien

looking creature. The one with the maw. Okay. Yeah, he wanted you to just leave and shut the door. He's like, wait, this wasn't part of the deal! Oh, I thought we were going through. No, you stay outside, let us finish, and then we will let you pass. Now get back! Oh, I thought we were going through. No, you stay outside. Let us finish, and then we will let you pass. Now get back. Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm quite hurt. Brother Ramius is going to walk in. I'm quite hurt. I didn't understand the rules. Forgive me. Forgive me. No, it is quite all right. Now who is this? Another one of you oak stewards. We are in charge here now. We answer only to Bolin, and he won't

even talk to us. We answer to Bolin as well. We need to pass through to speak with him. Walter? Is that you? Your voice sounds different. I'm very hurt. Please, let us through. Not until... We don't have time for this today. We're finished with our fun. What fun is that?

We're finished with our fun. What fun is that? The prisoner cannot be unharmed. It must be able to speak to Bolan and answer his questions. If you destroy this prisoner, he will never speak with you again. I am done parlaying with you. There is an army massing to the south. Likes of you, the army. I care not for the armies.

And it's moving closer and closer to Lucky, but tentatively, because it's frightened. I will show you what we can do. And it goes to raise its weapon against Lucky. Roll for initiative. Come on, dude. I'm sure you will. Roll for initiative.

The prisoner must remain unspoiled. I feel like I should roll deception for my initiative, right? Or I was perceiving. No, I was casing the room, so I think I'll roll. I would be happy for any one of you to roll deception. If your deception is better, I'm fine with you doing that. It's not. So I'll roll perception.

Oh, this is big, and I pooped it. Of course I pooped it. Pooped all over it. Just like you, the show you let your children watch. I was going to say, I forgot that person's name, but. Pooped all over it. Okay, let's start with Lucky. 17.

17 for Lucky. This is going to be very interesting here. Brother Ramius. This is awful. 13. 13 for Brother Ramius. Talith. 13. 13 for Brother Ramius. Talitha. 19.

19 for Talitha. Oh, man. What the hell are we supposed to do? Buggles. 19. Nice. Oh, man. Zephyr.

Nine. Nine. I can't see what's going on in there. For Zephyr. Okay. Interesting. Interesting. So one of the flying creatures goes first.

Now the flying creature, the flying creatures were not, you know, they were, they're kind of following the lead of this alien looking thing. And so it will use two action. Actually, you know what? How far can it fly? I think I'm going to just use one action. It uses one action to fly into the same space, because it's tiny, it can share a space with its boss,

and will then ready an action to harm Lucky if Lucky attempts to harm its boss. Question. Yes. Can I use my attack of opportunity? Because it flew into the, no? It needs to fly out of a threatened square.

Oh, I thought it had to fly into a threatened square. Anytime it leaves a threatened square. Entering a space doesn't do it. It's just running away. All right, so it shares a space with that little guy. And will use two actions to ready to strike you if you get violent. And now it is Talitha's turn.

Talitha will reach into her robes. First action, draw her hand crossbow. Second action, cock it. I have some action. Or load it, I guess. Yeah. I like cock. And then third action. Don't flip that. Please don't flip that. I'm cock. And then third action. Don't flip that. Don't flip that. Flip that. Please don't flip that.

Flip it. I'm a married man. And then third action. That's going to be a drop now. I like cock. I like cock. Cock. Cock.

I like it. The I like it part you added in later. It really is. I like it. I like it. I got it. I like it. I wasn't kidding. I wasn't kidding. It wasn't a joke.

I enjoy that word that you used. Cock. Yes. Still not good. And then I'll point it up and shoot at the creature above me. Oh, no. That poor little guy. There went our whole chance.

It's got kind of a salacious bee crumb vibe. That's what I was thinking. And the vibe I'm getting from this whole fort is that the oak stewards are not in control. It's descended into chaos. Bolon's holed up somewhere. He won't talk to, he won't parlay. These guys up front were really cagey about, oh, we don't go over there. Also, looking at this map, this part

of it is trashed. Yeah, they fucked it up. Also, they said the two oak stewards out front, I mean, unless I'm missing something, they said they don't go in that door and they don't go in that door. Yeah. That's a total of about 20 feet that they live in now.

What is happening here? Maybe when Lucky peed, she peed and they were like, pee in poop corner. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I mean, it seems like they warned you. They're like, we don't want to deal with them. Good luck. Yeah, hand crossbow, fire straight at the guy above me. Let's see what you got. Natural 20.

That's what he's got, dude! Natural 20 is what he's got! Pringle! Pringle! Pringle! Pringle! Alright, give me damage. What happened to my fan critical? Natural 20. 20's gone. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle.

Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle.

Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle.

Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle.

Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle.

Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle.

Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle.

Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle.

Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle.

Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle. Pringle.

Pringle. Pringle. Since campaign two has begun. I think you're right. This one is called Flump. Your missile strikes the target in the inner thigh and sticks in a major artery. Yes. Double damage and then a fortitude save. So first do your double damage and kill it. Roll once. I'll roll once. Okay, so four points of damage.

Okay. Four total. I rolled two on my D6. Okay. And then fortitude safe fortitude safe fortitude safe uh all right pretty good roll what's the is my my to hit is the last dc uh 22 22 yeah all right so that's going to be a success but not a critical success uh which is um target takes an additional 1d4 damage. So that's it.

No persistent, just an additional d4. An additional 1 point of damage. Additional 1 point of damage. Wow, a crit and bonus damage. It took 5 points of damage. It's just a hand cross. Yeah, that's what you mean. Thank you, Brent.

Thank you, Brent. You have another action, yes or no? I drew Cocked And fired Drew cocked Fire I enjoy Cock

I enjoy I like cock I enjoy Cock Can't wait for that Uh Buggles You're up

And you are in the back there You are bound I am Uh So Buggles Is Going

He's gonna run To sort of duck between Ramius' legs and dodge past him to get into the room. And, yeah. And kind of move away into kind of an open area. Oh, actually, no. He's going to be, like, right next to him. away into kind of an open area. Oh, actually, no. He's going to be right next to him. He is

going to produce flame in his hands, which I'm going to say burns the cords apart. I like it. They were binding me. Very fun. And I'm going to use it as a melee action to attack the lizard guy

right next to me. Nice. Can you get both of them since they're occupying the same square? Uh, I, no, not with this. Probably a single. But I did get a natural 20. Oh my god! Oh my god! Critical threat! Critical threat! Critical threat!

Critical threat! Nick, if you're listening, we need that new job. We do. Come on, buddy. What is this? Is this magic? Is this magic? Oh, my God.

This is never good. Back to back crits. Back to back crits. You really feel like heroes. All right. This one from Charles in Greenville, Tennessee. Hi, Charles. Hi, Charles.

Carcosa Codebreaker. The thin veil that separates the world of the Yellow King from this one parts as you cast your spell, giving you a brief yet consequential insight to a future moment in your life. This forbidden knowledge causes the next spell you cast to cost one less action, and it gains a plus two bonus to its attack roll or save DC. Oh, awesome. So, yeah, the next spell you cast costs one of those. Yeah, because all my stuff, my damaging stuff,

it's all two action stuff. So that's great. Wow, that's awesome. Yeah, that's fantastic. Thank you, Charles. Great one, Charles. All right, so not double damage or what's that? It is not double damage.

It doesn't mention it. That's all right. That's very cool. But you could get off another spell this round. No, the next one. Okay, so that is 11 points of damage. And

in addition that because it was a crit, four points of persistent fire damage. Nice. And four points of persistent fire damage? Yeah. Alright, I'll add that. Great, that'll remind me automatically. And now it's Lucky's turn.

Lucky, you are on your knees and weapons. I'm crouched. I'm not even on my knees. Yeah, you're crouched. You were just getting a crouch. It was coming up, but you are weaponless. What do you do? All right, I would like to do something crazy

that maybe you guys haven't seen yet. I'm going to use... Joe's very nervous. I'm going to use my cool trait, Total Power, from Gatewalkers. Power. And you just hear sickening cracks. From Lucky's elbows, wrists, and forearms burst bone spikes through her body. Like Wolverine.

Yes, like Wolverine, but grosser. Her bindings just absolutely pop off, like ripped to shreds. And that takes one action to do my bone spikes. Amazing. Sharp shards of bone tear forth. And for one minute, I do my bone spike. Sharp shards of bone tear forth. And for one minute, I can make bone spike unarmed attacks. This is like police tonfas. Oh, yeah.

Awesome. So she is just going exactly like, like with her forearms into this, hopefully it works, this metal guy. Or like mantis arms from Cyberpunk. Oh, yeah. Alright, this metal guy. Or like Mantis Arms from Cyberpunk. Oh, yeah. All right, go after it.

Roll to hit. Yeah, let me see. Let me just check what the unarmed... I guess I just make... It says an unarmed strike, so I guess I just use my regular... Your unarmed bonus. Okay, cool.

Yeah. Let's see. 14. 14. 14 to hit is a miss. Okay, I'm going to hit again. Okay. Hit again. I like the attitude.

I like it. That was worse. That's not going to hit. All right, so the bone spurs come out. The bindings fall away, and you strike, strike. It's a small creature. It's hard to get down there. Is he still frightened?

Should be. How long is friend and last usually around around yeah I think it's something around so now he uh now he's he snapped out of it and he's in the fight but you guys rolled well enough that it's brother Ramius yeah come on Ramius Sam Ramius

it's kind of like a Sam Rami room, honestly. It is. It's so funny the way you're all in there. Like, Zephyr is still on the bridge, and the three of you are all around this one space that both of those creatures share. Oh, boy. All right, so he's going to do, I mean,

he's got your weapons in his belt, but I think when this thing raises the, it's whatever it is, it's hammer. It's war hammer. Yeah, it's maul to go after her. His initial instinct and reaction is also to use his gate walker ability. Oh. He returned with mysteriously after walking through the gate. And he goes to reach out to stop this from happening, to stop the maul from hitting Lucky.

And as he reaches, this ghostly hand comes out from his arm and goes to grab the creature, the entire creature. Oh, right. It just reaches, reaches out and it's like this ethereal limb stretches forth. So I'm going to make a roll,

an attack roll against your fortitude DC. To try and grapple the creature. To try to grab the creature. And this is your deviant ability that leveled up because of what you experienced

in your dream. Right, right. This is, it leveled up because of what I experienced in my dream. Also, you used a deviant

ability, didn't you? Yeah. So, when do you have to roll? Do you know the rules on this yet? Oh, because of... For a backlash? A backlash. Do you roll as soon as you use it, or is it like after the combat? Oh, that's right. I think we were talking about this off-air. Yeah. I use mine two episodes ago. Yeah, we forgot

about it. Yeah, deviant abilities have basically, there's a chance that something goes wrong. And in fact, it almost always, because the DC keeps going up, eventually it's going to go wrong. The more you tap into this power, it starts at like a DC 5 check, then it goes to a DC 10

check, then 15, 20, and then it resets on a night's rest where something bad can happen. So let's take a look at what it is. Well, I messed up then. Because I'm looking now. I have to roll anybody who uses your Deviant you have to roll a DC 5 flat check. Depending on the success or failure

if it's a success then it goes up from the 5. The DC 10. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Does the backlash happen and you lose the ability to use the Deviiant ability? No. Or do you do both?

I think, no. When the backlash happens, the DC resets to five. You can do it again, but then if you fail again, there's different levels of backlash. So mild, moderate, and severe. And the more times you do it throughout the day, I'm pretty sure the more severe the backlash would become. Yeah. And when it rests, everything resets. But say you roll the DC 5.

So you actually have to roll it to see what happens here. But if you hit that DC 5, now when you want to use it again today, it's DC 10. So it almost is like they're going to happen to you no matter what. And then before you rest, if you get one backlash, the second time you get a backlash, it gets more severe and more severe. But that all resets. The question is, though, does the ability still happen? Yeah, do you lose the use of the ability if you

roll under, if you fail the DC5 flat check? The moderate backlash for my deviant ability is devastating. Yeah, the mild, whatever, the first one for me is devastating. And you used yours once, and we forgot this, right? You son of a B. I think you still

do your action. It doesn't say you don't. You use your deviant and then you suffer. And then the cost happens. There's some strain. Right, but there's one thing you said that makes me think that might not be the case. What? When you read it, you were like, if you attempt to use your deviant ability, didn't you say that?

No, no, no. But I don't know if I just said that or if I It says, on a failure, you use your deviation and then suffer. Oh, perfect. Yeah, no, no. But I don't know if I just said that or if I read it. It says, on a failure, you use your deviation and then suffer. Oh, perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The way they explain backlash is so cool. The same blood that lets one of the dragon descendants spit out a gout of flame is precisely what keeps the inside of their mouth from being singed in the furnace.

Deviations, unfortunately, lack these safeguards. Their power is coming from the haphazard circumstance, in this case walking through the gate, and interactions rather than intentional design. A character using their deviation always risks the chance of backlash. Such a cool little thing that we just forgot about.

Let's just make sure you don't suffer a backlash. It also says, and this will be for the future, even when we're more powerful, any effects from the backlash can't be reduced, can't be prevented, can't be bypassed. Conditions and the damage, nothing you can do about. So, for example, I believe if you're immune to fire and your backlash gives you fire damage, you still take the fire damage. Wow. Really?

Yes. I'm almost positive. Like, immunities and everything are ignored. All right. It's kind of like using the Slayer power in Baldur's Gate 2. Anyone out there? It's just like, it's this really powerful thing that you can do, but there's a huge cost to it. This one is kind of similar.

It's like, my body's overclocked. My metabolism is overclocked. It's like producing new bone in my body. So the backlash is not great. Conditions and damage. What'd you roll? I rolled a 13. Lucky 13. All right. So now if you. What'd you roll? I rolled a 13. Lucky 13.

All right, so now if you do it again today, it'll be DC 10. Conditions and damage you take from backlash can't be reduced or prevented by resistance or immunity. Oh, yeah. But it still triggers any weaknesses you have to it. It's just all bad. It's all bad. So if you want to do this, let's see if there's going to be a backlash. Yeah, roll.

All right, first I'll do the flat check to see if something bad happens. 16. Okay. So we're good on that. It's a knee-jerk reaction. He reaches out to grab this creature. So now I will make an attack roll against your Fortitude DC. Bring it.

This thing's Fort DC. That is a 23. That is grabbed. Yeah! So he reaches out and he grabs him. Unfortunately, he's just grabbed. If I critted on it, I would have been able to restrain him so he couldn't even swing at Lucky. But I was trying. Grab makes him immobilized and flat-footed.

I mean, that's nasty. He's in the force. Yeah, so he is grabbed. I honestly don't know what else to do. I think... Move? Yeah, I don't know if I can move while know while I have this while I haven't grabbed Like this oh that's right

And I don't know how many actions it takes It honestly doesn't say it it doesn't say How many actions the thing takes I can't It's one action to grab someone Yeah it's just an attack so we could say it's One action that's fine And so yeah protect her Grab him and then

Well in that case if that's one action He's going to reach out. Once he sees he has him, he's going to take his other hand, which is free, and he's just going to two actions, interact weapon, interact weapon, and just throw two weapons on the floor in front of Lucky. Okay.

I'm going to have my little flying creature go because I forgot to do it right when Lucky acted. That was the trigger, so it's going to happen now. He's going to fly just up towards basically putting Buggles, Brother Ramius, and Zephyr in a line.

Does that trigger her AOL? Yeah, you leave slow. That was a step. All I did was step. That doesn't trigger. Why can't I do that? Because you can only ready one action. You can't ready two actions. You can't even ready something that is two actions. I see.

All right, so then he is just going to attack Buggles. Well, no, I guess I can attack, even though it looks like I can't attack Lucky. You're in the area. He came over here to protect Lucky, so he's going to attack Lucky with his one action. And the action he's going to do is called Putrid Vomit. Go ahead and give me a fortitude save. It's one action. Gross.

No. Okay. Fort. Oh, natural 18. Nice. For a total of? 19, 20, 25. 25? All right, that 18. Nice. For a total of... 19, 20, 25. 25.

All right, that is a success. You actually take no damage. Nice. And I can't use that. No damage. Good job. No damage. I can't use that ability again for four rounds.

Oh, that sucks for you. Well, it's the other creature's turn. He does the same thing. Shoot Talitha. Talitha, that sucks for you. That's brutal. Well, it's the other creature's turn. He does the same thing to Talitha. Talitha, give me a fortitude save. Okay. 14. Now we're talking. You're sickened one as you're just caught up in this vomit.

You can feel like bits of wood. It's eating all sorts of shit. Just vomit on me. Just vomit on you, yes. These things are really gross. Yeah. And then it flies down second action towards you and goes to, which one has a horrible thing? Bite you.

That is going to be a 13. Miss. Misses with the bite, and you're going to be very glad about that. And now it is the boss's turn. The boss here is in bad, bad shape. Grappled is going to... Woo-hoo-hoo!

That's just, yeah, real bad. So let me read Grappled, or Grabbed, rather. You are held in place, flat-footed and immobilized. If you attempt to manipulate action while grabbed, you must succeed at a DC 5 flat check or it's lost. Roll the check after spending the action, but before any effects are applied immobilize you can't use any action with the move trait if you're immobilized by something

holding you in place uh the okay wow nasty and then of course flat footed um so the best i can do is attempt to strike well which he will do um strike does not have the manipulate trait right let me just see. Nope. I don't think so. I don't think so. So melee attack against Lucky. Oh, 12. Yeah.

Big old miss. All right, second attack, very low chance. Miss on the second attack. Yes. And I will just, it's just like, ah, ah, ah. It has to be a natural 20, and it wasn't. So it misses all three attacks, and then it takes four points of fire damage, and then we'll roll a flat check to see. Natural six, so it is still on fire.

Yes, keep burning. Wow. Burn, baby, burn. And finally, it is Zephyr's turn. Finally. So I'm still out on the bridge, and I can't see everything that's happening. So I got 25 feet of movement.

Let me just use my little measurer here. All right. Going to move Zephyr. Oop. Let me change my thing. Into the room, 25 feet of movement. Okay, so it moves in and past the creature. The creature doesn't look like it has an attack of opportunity

because it does not use anything against you. So you're able to slide right under it. I mean, it's flying. It's actually 15 feet in the air. But you moved... Yeah, I would assume that you could move around that creature without moving in its space, the one

that's grabbed. So you're good. Yeah, I'm moving past my friend's space. Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. Okay, so now I'm in the room. So I don't... I'm not sure if I can see the little tiny creature that's all up in talitha's business anything you can see you can see i just thing is i i moved into the room and i couldn't see it but then i could if you click on your character it should even though the thing

has been revealed on foundry um if you you you you probably can't see you won't see creatures you don't have line of sight to in Foundry. And I can see that you cannot see the creature that is fighting Talitha, but you can see the other two. Um,

all right. So my thing is with my longbow is it's got a volley of 30 feet. So I take a negative two penalty if I try to use it

within that range increment. So I'm trying to think like, I really don't think I can do anything effective this round. You also don't even have it out yet, right? I know, I don't even have it out yet. So I have to do one action as I move. I also use an action to take it out.

You could fire one really low chance shot. I know. And the thing is like maybe I want to do that because the main guy is so affected. And my thought is if we, maybe I want to do that because the main guy is so affected. And my thought is if we take him out, the other two will follow. So I think that's kind of what I want to do. So from here, I have my bow out, and I want to just take one shot at a penalty at that guy.

Okay. All right. You never know. So let's see. They're little creatures, but you might get lucky. It'll be a plus five. Don't get lucky. Ooh, natural 20.

I think we're confident because of the section we did. Yeah. Our costumes look so good. Yes, your ruse was perfect. All right. This one from Max in San Diego, California. Hi, Max. Dead man walking.

Yeah. Your shot blows clean through a vital part of your opponent's body, but they don't realize how bad the damage is. They take normal damage now, and then they take the same damage each round for an additional two rounds. Oh, wow. Clean immunity does not prevent this damage, but resistances would apply

each time damage is taken. So, yeah. So it is just normal damage, but it's like persistent for two more rounds. Yeah, I'm going to count that as persistent, so it'll roll the flat check, but you might just, oh, right, kill it. Normal damage. That's a four. Okay, four damage. That one had not been hit yet, but it will take four persistent

arrow damage. It's basically bleed. It's like sinking in, yeah. Wow, okay, very, very cool. And that is the end of that round, and now it goes top of round two. Talitha, you are covered in vomit by this horrible rat pig bat creature.

Just some classic wood chip vomit. Wood chip vomit. From what I've observed so far, these creatures don't seem to have attacks of opportunity. No. No. Fine. I'm going to go ahead and drop the hand crossbow, draw my rapier. Three action.

Draw my rapier. Second action. First action. First action. Yes, thank you. And then devise a stratagem. Three action. Draw my rapier. Second action. First action. First action. Yes, thank you. And then devise a stratagem. Second action.

Okay. Okay. That's a 15 on the die, so I will go ahead and strike with my third action. What a powerful, powerful power.

That's a really cool power. That's the only class I'm playing for the rest of this. Don't you go to the casino with that power? Yeah.

That's like, you see what's going to happen, you're like, you know what, I'm not going to play. Yeah. Good luck, everyone. It's a 19. Good luck, everyone. 19 is a hit. Yes.

And because I'm using my intelligence on this strike, I deal extra precision damage. Oh, that's great. Oh, my God. 10 points of damage. Oh. And that thing falls out of the sky. Awesome.

So Talitha shot it once with her hand crossbow, drops the hand crossbow, draws a rapier and just spears it like a kebab. Right, skewers it and it falls to the ground. Amazing. Buggles. Buggles. Buggles! Buggles! Buggles!

Buggles! I just, I think I just realized something about the psychic class that really bums me out. Oh, no. I'm not going to get into it now because it's a whole long thing. I don't understand it. Maybe I'm wrong, but we'll talk about it next time. So, Buggles. So, now, like, his eyes, like, flash blue.

His eyes like flash blue. And, you know, this yuck, yuck, and this like swirling mass of frost and snow kind of like materializes around him. And he takes a step back. And using one action, he's going to cast a ray of frost on the lizard guy. Oh, boy. Oh, dear. That's a 17 to hit. frost on the lizard guy. Oh boy. Uh, that's a, that's a 17 to hit. That thing is grabbed,

immobilized, flat footed. That is a hit. Awesome. Nice. Yeah. What's nice about grabbed is flat footed at all. Yes.

Okay. Uh, and just let me double check. So, because this is not amps, this is all the way to plus two. okay. All right. So that is not amps, this is plus two. Okay. All right.

So that is six points of frost damage. Okay. And I get three points of temporary hit points. So amazing. And then with my third action, I am going to cast shield on myself. Okay. So Ray of Frost is only one action? Oh that's because of the thing Because of the crit amazing

So you're able to pull off Was it quickened? Is that what the thing was? No it was just one of the conditions of the Crit It's like being quickened It was like casting a quickened spell Which is like a 10th level class feat for a wizard but basically what it was said was the the

conceit of it was you see briefly into the future and you're able to like figure out how to do something a little quicker so yeah very very cool like for God to roll my known weakness recall knowledge here we go would you mind if I do that please there's still one of these things living it's only gonna it's

what is it? Nature for these guys? Yes. Okay. With the second and 11. Yeah. No. It's kind of amazing.

I mean, this was so great about Foundry. I'm just like, no, sorry. I can't tell you anything. And I know exactly what to ask for. Yeah. I mean, it's a horrible, horrible looking creature. I'll tell you though, with an 11 that it's known as a Grimple. Grimple.

Grimple. Grimple. Isn't that fun? Little Grimple. It's a thing from the Simpsons that it's known as a grimple. Grimple. Grimple. Isn't that fun? Little grimple. It's a thing from The Simpsons that was in the Ice Capade show. Grimple. Grimpley, grimpley, grue. I'm going to say that's the...

And did it vomit on that show as well? It bled green ooze. It might be the same thing. These might be like one of the Brothers Grimm type creature. It is so funny. They hit it with a skate or something and this green ooze starts coming out of its face. Homer's like, what the hell is this thing? Honestly, this might be,

this is like a classic type of a Gremlin creature, so it's very possible to use that. Lucky, it's your turn. Now, with these bone spur things, do you have to call on it every time or it lasts for a minute? It lasts for a minute. Okay, so you're great.

What are you going to do here? Well, Remus did throw my weapons on the floor But I just I mean, these are going to be done in a minute And they're pretty cool And I did And I rolled a success on them And I have no backlash

So It's grabbed I'm just going to use my bone spurs I think it's fun Okay Bone Oh, yeah Natural 16

Oh, my gosh Plus 9, which would be... 25. 25. That is a critical hit now. Yes! Plus 9? Yeah.

Critical threat. Wow. Critical threat. Critical threat. Critical threat. Double damage. Yeah, that's right. Oh, wait.

Oh, it's a D4. Plus 4. Where's my D4? Here we go. Max damage. 16 points of damage. And it's dead. Yes!

Yes, it is. What's my crit? Oh, it's not. It wasn't. All right, you still have two actions left, so you could move up. Well, this thing is 15 feet in the air, so yeah, unless you have a ranged attack, tell me what you want to do with your final two actions left, so you could move up and... Well, this thing is 15 feet in the air. So, yeah, unless you have a ranged attack,

tell me what you want to do with your final two actions. Can I use acrobatics to jump into the air and try to catch it with the bone spike as a second attack? Yes, because that sounds very, very cool. Cool. She's a cat. Give me your acrobatics roll. Okay.

I think jump is a whole thing anyways. But I didn't roll well on it. Okay, you're using the athletics. Jump is actually athletics. You're using leap. Yeah, it would be athletics, so use your... I rolled very badly. I rolled a two, but that's a nine.

I have a plus seven on my athletics. Okay, so... Maybe I just don't reach it. I'm like a cat playing with a string. Well, I'm sorry. What is the total you rolled? Nine total. I rolled a natural two

Natural two yeah no you can't do it Alright well I tried Last action I can't really do anything Oh I'm just gonna Yeah I'm just gonna pick up my weapons Well it's good that you failed because You probably couldn't have done it by the rules anyway

So moving on It is Brother Ramius' turn. How does that feel? Just fine. Now you felt bad twice. Yeah. Oh, these things. Brother Ramius is going to do a recall knowledge on this flying creature.

The Grimple. The Grimple. The Grimple. Yep. The little Grimple. Natural 20. Oh, damn. Critical success on the recall knowledge.

We are on fire today. Yeah, for real. Seriously on fire. All right. critical success on the recall knowledge. On fire. Yeah, for real. Seriously on fire. Alright, here's what I'm going to tell you. It has this putrid vomit ability, obviously, and it's not going to be able to use it again in this combat. They have low light vision. If they bite you, you could get infected by gremlin lice.

Ew. Oh, God. Oh. Yeah, it says, so it's a type of gremlin. I'm just going to give you a little flavor here because it's kind of fun. Even more than most gremlins, grimples resent the trappings of civilization. In common rooms with their rowdy sing-alongs, livery yards with their whinnying horses, church steeples with their clanging bells,

grimples live to spoil these conventions. Dropping tavern signs on patrons, urinating in rain barrels, and opening stable doors. When all else fails, they literally vomit their disdain on passers-by. They're just gross little troublemakers. I love them!

Yeah. You would. That tracks. I can fix them. Alignment. Alignment. We're not doing alignment. They're evil. They're chaotic evil creatures. Chaotic evil.

Okay. In that case, then Brother Ramius is going to say, Keeper, if you see of it, destroy this chaotic creature. Rid us of its malice. It's in the sky, so you don't have to worry about hitting your friends. He's going to cast a spear, a divine lance at this creature that is, yeah, a holy lance.

Lance Bass? Comes flying out of your hand? Lance Bass. Goes, ooh. Bye, bye, bye. Bye, bye, bye. The Royal Lancers? The Royal Lancers!

The Royal Lancers! It all comes back. Go back to the Royal Lancers! Schwa! Fires a 10 to hit. That's a big old miss. Swing. Big old miss.

Sha-plunk. And that is the end of his round. Sadly, this creature still gets to go, and it doesn't like that you tried to do that. It steps up to you and goes to bite to infect you with its gremlin lice. And this is going to be an 11 to hit. Oh, amazing. And I'll try it again for shits and gigs It's going to be a really high roll

And it wasn't I really didn't want lice Zephyr this is your moment here You've got a flying target So because it's 15 feet in the air I'm just going to take like two steps back here So Not within my volley increment,

I'm going to step into my monastic archer stance. Yeah, good stance. Second action, she hunkers down, pulls her bow back, and you see an arrow in it and then another arrow. I'm not sure how it works with her. If there's like two arrows ready to go and she just kind of like flicks her fingers and like they both go, maybe that.

But anyway, flurry of blows, two arrows comes out. Okay. Third action. Let's see. So, first arrow. Which dice do I want to use? This one. Okay.

Don't hit Brother Ramius. Well, don't put that into the universe. All fumbles hit Brother Ramius for the rest of the game. That's going to be a... All characters, no matter who they're attacking or where they are on the battlefield. All fumbles hit Brother Ramius for the rest of the game. That's going to be a... All characters, no matter who they're attacking, or where they are on the battlefield. All fumbles hurt Joe. 14 for the first one.

Yes. Oh, you need this one to hit. So the second one... Does this one have the map? No, no. They're both... It does. Yes.

Four-ear blows? Yeah. Because it's one action, two attacks, you do have to take the map. Fuck. Does not hit. Oh! Does not hit. Yes. Flurry of Blows? Yeah. Because it's one action, two attacks. You do have to take them out. Does not hit. Oh! Does not hit. Shoot.

Yep. Top of round three. Tiny. Can't hit it. One enemy left. Talitha, you've taken down one of these. Can you help take this one down? Talitha will grab the hand crossbow from where she dropped it.

Oh, I forgot. That guy was bleeding. Oh, yeah. So he's going to take damage. What was the damage? Four. Four, right? Yeah.

Okay. What guy? From the crit. Bleeding from the crit. Oh, right, right, right, right. Oh, and he also takes another round of four points of damage from my crit. Yeah, that's what it was. Oh, okay.

I just took that. And I'm just going to remain bleeding because I failed the flat check. So now, Talitha, what do you got? It's not bleeding. It's separate. Yeah, he said he was still going to work it that way. Oh, okay. It's grab.

Persistent crit damage. Talitha, sizing up the situation, grabs the hand crossbow, quick loads another bolt in, and fires off at the guy in the air. Let's go. Come on. Okay.

Yep. Assuredly a miss. 13. Terrible. We're overconfident now i'm sickened i've been vomited upon buggles finish this all right so buggles like the swirling sphere of frost turns into embers burning embers as he unleashes a ball of flame with this creature. Oh, it's on a 20 for a second. And it rolled onto a two. Oh!

What? He does take one point of splash. No, he doesn't. Nope. Nothing. The flames hit the ceiling and the whole structure

starts burning in the crap. And then my third action shield again. Keeping himself safe. Lucky, this all started with you. Can you finish this? Yeah. Is it still in the air, though?

Yeah, no, it came down to try and bite Brother Ramius, so it is within the strike. Oh, it's so dead. All right. I have my weapons back. Double slice. First action, pick up the weapons. Second action.

No, no, no. I picked them up on the last turn. All right, double slice. All right, you pick up the weapons. Second act, you pick them up at the end of the last turn. All right, double slice. All right, here we go. First with my kopesh. Fuck. Damn it, shit. Cock.

Cock. That's a 13. Miss. That's interesting. Okay, here I go. We're going to have so many drops of us saying cock. Cock. Cock.

Cock. I enjoy it. And then Sidney says cock. Cock. I enjoy, and then Sydney says cock. Cock. Enjoy. Fire. Cock. Fire. Cock.

It burns. Why does it burn? My cock. 22. Ooh, my wakizashi. That is a hit. There we go. There we go.

Please tell me the damage. Okay. The wakizashi. Max damage, so that's for eight. Eight. So you miss with the kopesh, but the wakizashi lands true, and you slice it in half, and it just splits open like a Thanksgiving turkey. Yeah.

Falls to the ground. You see green ooze and wood chips coming out of its belly, and it hits the floor. You are out of combat. However, from behind, you hear the oak stewards come up, and the one... I wanted to close the door. No, the door.

The one with the snake says, Cucumber was right. That's a trick! And we'll see you next week. Oh, my God. I thought the door was closed. Back to back to back to back to back. I just thought I was going to close it the second it got to my turn. Let's close it now. You killed it too fast. Close it now. Brother Amy, let's close the door was closed. Back to back to back to back to back. I just thought I was going to close it the second it got to my turn.

You killed it too fast. Brother Amy, let's close the door. I closed the door. Did he close the door? Find out next week. Find out next time. He didn't. He could.

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