The Glass Cannon Podcast - Gatewalkers Episode 8 – Dying Too

Episode Date: November 3, 2023

After battling malicious fey, there's no time to rest as more enemies rush at the heroes! Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/uq7yo_2BywQ This episode was sponsored by Demiplane, Foundry VTT and Norse Foundry. Check out Demiplane's Pathfinder Nexus and character creation tools at https://bit.ly/GCNOfficialTools See why tabletop gamers everywhere have made the switch to Foundry Virtual Tabletop at https://foundryvtt.com/gcp The Glass Cannon Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/GCN to get 10% off your first month. Visit https://nordvpn.com/GCP and get four extra months on the two-year plan. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for hundreds of hours of exclusive shows and benefits, make your membership official and join Glass Cannon Nation today by becoming a subscriber at jointhenaish.com. Watch new episodes when they premiere every Thursday at 8PM ET on youtube.com/theglasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. They're eyeing you all. Very suspiciously. The heroes executed a cunning plan. Talitha, there's no Talitha here. I'm Fenton. Sound different. They slashed my throat. This one, the cat.

And infiltrated the druid stronghold. All right. You can try your luck bringing them to Bolan here to the northeast, but those creatures are nasty in there. I say we just go. If we get a chance to get out of this room, let's just walk out of this room. Where unnatural dangers lurked.

We are in charge here now. We answer only to Bolin and he won't even talk to us. I am done parlaying with you. But after crushing a nest of chaotic creatures. Ooh, natural 20. I think he's got one.

Natural 20! You're right! My God! 10 points of damage. Oh! And that thing falls out of the sky. The hero's cover was blown. You are out of combat.

However, from behind, you hear the oak stewards come up. Cucumber was right. That's a trick! The adventure continues. Brother Amos, close the door. I closed the door. Did he close the door? No. Thank you. There'll be parties for hosting, marshmallows for toasting, and caroling out in the snow.

There'll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago. Okay, take it away! I'm just mad that we didn't celebrate my two months of Halloween. Now we gotta celebrate your four months of Christmas. I wish, I

wish that all of the Burr months were Christmas. But no, unfortunately it started yesterday on November 1st and, man, it's a little weird because we're recording this in August. And so I really

gotta feign. But peek behind the curtain. Talk about Christmas spirit. I know it's a summer shirt. I am just, it's on my mind right now. He set the lights and we all were like, what the fuck is he doing? They started to notice, oh no, it's happening. We were like, Matt? What the fuck is he doing? They started to notice. Oh, no, it's happening. We were like, Matt, change it. Troy wasn't in the room.

We were like, please, please just do anything else. But now I'm getting in the spirit. I'm getting in the mood. Right? It kind of. I got there myself. It's infectious. Stop.

Yeah. You just have to remember, put yourself there. Critical fail on her will save. On November 2nd when everybody feels like it's Christmas. Yeah, when everyone complains about that they're starting celebrating Christmas already. Yes. Put yourself in that mindset. I have had countless emails,

handwritten letters, phone calls from Santa. Listeners, fans of the show who have said, thank you, Troy. Thank you for teaching me the way of starting to celebrate on November 1st. We'll take questions after the show. And I say, don't thank me.

It's just my way of sharing my joy of something so wonderful with everybody else. But so many people have flocked to my banner to start celebrating on November 1st, and they've never looked back. Yes, we'll allow time for one question. Okay, so what are you going to do when technically the date that this is airing is past christmas so when we're recording episodes actually christmas actually christmas but it's gonna air after why are you even asking we're actually recording this on how's that gonna make you i normally don't lift the veil and say when we're recording these but i couldn't help but make i had to make sure that another november 1st 2nd 3rd didn't go by and i didn't start on the show because they're watching

this right now on november 2nd me like why isn't troy mentioning it well i'm mentioning it but you bring up a very interesting question we will be recording episodes in november and december you're gonna have to restrain yourself he's not going to he's not going to be like we're gonna end up talking about christmas shit for five months out of the fucking year. Also, by the way, even if you weren't dripping with bullshit through that whole diatribe about people flocking to your banner and what

have you, I'm not lying. You would know it was a lie just for the fact that you took a phone call. I've never seen you take a phone call in your life. Well, they texted first to say what they wanted to talk about and I said, here's my personal number. Let's discuss. If all you want to talk about is Christmas, you can, and I said, here's my personal number. Let's discuss. If all you want to talk about is Christmas, you can call me.

I'm in. My personal line. It is weird, though, because no one is a bigger Christmas guy than me, but August, even August is a little early. However, I got to right where those marshmallows were toasting, and I started to feel it in my penis. I felt the Christmas spirit rolling up in my sensation. Do you ever feel it down there? That's where I feel it, right? The old chestnuts.

Just as baby Jesus intended it. Yep, that's how he, he's not a part of Christmas. It's about something bigger than that. It's about something bigger than Jesus. You just alienated a lot of people. It's about the Beatles. It's about the Beatles. It's about Ringo Starr.

Oh, there we go. Oh, you really show me the meaning of Christmas. This is a figure of Jesus. Oh, my mouth hurts. No, but hopefully you at home are enjoying the season as I have. And if you're on the fence and you think, oh, I can't start November 1st, I already started on October 15th. I told myself I would, and I did.

But I'm not going to subject everyone here To it until November 1st Or late August I feel like you gotta celebrate your birthday first That's true I haven't even done fantasy drafts yet And I'm already talking about Christmas But it's the best time of the year

I mean Kate you said that you start celebrating Halloween On September 1st Oh no no no like early August As soon as go in the HomeGoods and they've got ghost shit out, it's Halloween season. So I already have Halloween stuff up. When? Go ahead. I was going to say, we are recording this in August, as you said, and I just had a friend reach out to me to make some props for their Halloween party because they're doing like a big themed party. And I was like, how long? It's,

but then I had the same thought where I was like, oh, I got to start now. You only have two months? I got to think about what I'm going to be. Was this like a pro bono sort of thing

or was your friend like, here's what I'm going to pay you? Yeah. All right. I don't like people taking advantage of your talents. I'm making bombs from Fallout for it.

Like these like old little nuke bombs from Fallout. Did you Google how to make bombs? Did you Google how to make nukes? How to make real bombs. I'm already on google how to make bombs how to make real bombs or a party full of people my day job where i do production design for a tv show you guys know the show i work on is like murder reenactment i'm on so many lists i I'm Googling like dissolving a body in hyaluronic acid in a tub.

Like how, what ingredients do you need? Because I need it for the episode. I need to make like fake stuff. So I'm not allowed to Google anything on my work computer. Clarifying question. What kind of acid was that? It's not hyaluronic. It's something else.

Because hyaluronic is good for your skin. Yes. It doesn't melt skin. Hydrochloric? Hydrochloric? Yes. Hydrolonic would make a corpse look beautiful. Yeah. It's like hyaluronic. It's something else. Because hyaluronic is good for your skin. Yes. It doesn't melt skin. Hydrochloric? Hydrochloric? Yes. Hydrochloric. Yeah, hydralonic would make a corpse look beautiful.

Yeah, it's like, wow, what a moisturized cadaver. Hydraluric acid on this beautiful corpse. Well, I said to my wife the other day, I'm like, because I was never a big Halloween guy until I had kids. And now I'm like back into it. I'm like, let's do it. I got lawn decorations now, blow up shit. Yeah, we don't fuck around. And so I said, can we, can we start on September 1st? And she's like, no, no, it's too early. I'm like, uh, all right, here's my offer. Take it or leave it September

15th. And she has settled on September 25th. And I said, let me tell you, it's too late. September 25th is too late. You get them out there and then I'm already taking them down and putting up Santa. What's your decor like? Because you don't live very close to your neighbors, right? What do you do? I have neighbors around, but I like ghosts and bats and skeletons. I'm not really into pumpkins. I'm also very into gnomes, but that's less Halloween.

Not really Halloween. I'm more just like an all-the-time decoration. Ghosts, bats, spiders, and gnomes. But I've got like ghost pillows, bat blanket. I've got like a interior stuff and then I have exterior stuff. I've got like these bat things you stick in your lawn. Do you have

ghost gnomes? No, but I would love one. Like if there's a ghost gnome. Googling, googling, googling. Or a bat gnome. I bet Sydney could, for the low, low price of her going rage, she might be able to. Oh, yeah. Oh, are you kidding me? These are the cutest little guys I've ever seen. Guys. Ghosts, no.

Oh, my God. They're really cute. Look at them. They look Miyazaki characters. They're so cute. See, this is the best holiday because the decorations are so freaking cute. Well, it's already over, Kate. Get over it.

Yep. Yeah, it's Christmas now. Halloween has passed. We've moved on. It's Christmas now. Shut up. Shut up. Get yourself an elf on the shelf.

Season's greetings. Shut up up it is weird though we've already now come back from chicago and st louis we had our halloween shows they were amazing i imagine they were fun standing ovations yeah crazy we sold them both i hate talking about the future it freaks me out it's weird just stop what if we don't come home from St. Louis? No, what the hell? That's what I'm saying. That's where my mind goes. Why would you say that? My mind went there as well. What? Because I've been sitting next to him too long.

I get infected. This is the scariest Christmas ever. I like that Kate's like, we did really well. The show went great. Joe's like, what if we don't come home? Manifest what you want, dude. I want to live in St. Louis forever. We've got to stop booking the same flights.

We can never fly. It's a great city. We can never fly on the same flight if city. Well, he always flies United, so. We can never fly on the same flight if something goes wrong. Never going to happen. You guys are ruining Christmas. Of course Christmas ever. Speaking of Christmas, are you, Troy? Yes.

Obviously, we're way ahead, but are you doing anything different this Christmas? Is there anything that you're planning to do different? What is wrong with you? Do you only do things you've already done? Well, I know you're a big tradition guy. I'm a big tradition guy. So does anything new ever enter? Oh, yeah.

Every year it's new. So what's this year? Well, last year we added a bunch of new things. We've been doing the Polar Express now for a few years. We buy those tickets. You know, we talked about doing that. Oh, in Whippany, New Jersey? Yeah.

And Aaron was like, you got to reach out to Troy. I was like, yes, I do. We already bought tickets, but we buy them in June. You have to buy them in June. All right. I'll see you next year. But we were going to reach out and I said, Joe and Aaron don't want to hang out with us. So don't bother. Just half of that is true. But yeah, no, we will.

We're just work friends. We're just work friends. But yeah, we do the Polar Express in Wippenie, New Jersey. It's like out of this world. It's so wonderful. But last year we started adding more things because, you know, we had a couple of COVID years in there and now it's like out of this world. It's so wonderful. And, uh, but last year we started adding more things. Cause you know, we had a couple of COVID years in there and now it's like, let's get back out there. There are these light shows.

There's a couple that you can drive in your car and they're fantastic. And one we went to last year, you drive through this whole thing and then there is a giant snow globe with Santa inside of it. And he'll point, he's trapped. He's banging on. Oh,

but he's all mic'd ceiling. He's like, help me! Help me! Help me! He's still there! But he's all mic'd up. And so like, Archer's looking out of the sunroof and he goes, hello there. I like your hat. And described the hat.

So it's just like, the kids are like, ah! It's amazing. So we did that. But then we did another one. You can hear him say, please, the air. It's running out. Let me out. Call the police.

Call the police immediately. Tell my wife I love her. Ho, ho, ho. We did another one last year where we had to walk, and I can't remember the names of the cities, but we had to walk through this whole amazing light display, and we just keep adding shit every year. But I think we're going to add the Christmas cards that you guys do.

Yeah, okay. Because you swear by those. Yeah, yeah. And now I'm seeing them up a lot more, and I know you're going to make reservations way guys do. Yeah. You swear by those. Yeah. And now I'm seeing them up a lot more and I know you're going to make reservations way in advance. Yeah. It's like with, with Santa and the elves and it's pretty spectacular.

Have you ever seen Joe's family Christmas cards? I haven't. Very sweet. I've actually never gotten one. The thing I was most amazed by was the COVID year where Santa was masked and they digitally removed the mask. They digitally removed the mask. And like face tuned a smile on him.

Like this is like. No, it wasn't. It was like a witch smile. It was shockingly effective. Yeah. It was really good. They did a the mask. And like, facetuned a smile on him. Like, this is like, no, it wasn't like a witch. Shockingly effective. Yeah, it was really good. They did a great job. That's very sweet.

Yeah. So, I mean, we're always looking for new things for me from November 1st to December 24th. It's like, how much Christmas can I cram into every single day? That is my thing. So we'll have times where it's like,

all right, what are we doing Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday? Like, I try to look at that and plan in advance, but then'll have times where it's like, all right, what are we doing Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday? Like I try to look at that and plan in advance. But then there's some days I'm like, we have nothing planned today. Let's start a new tradition. So we're at the point now where in those 55 days, they're pretty jammed.

And then it's like, can we do three things today? Because we have seven things planned tomorrow. I just love it so much. And even talking about it now in the dead of summer. Well, you were talking before about how you like to do really dangerous things at the top of a ladder near the roof of your house. I do. And so you would throw up if you saw. Yeah. So I was thinking if you're up there anyway, I think you need to be, you know, like you're a big Christmas guy. You should be the guy that does the full Santa and reindeer display on the roof.

You need to do like Diger Heights. It's like rolling down from the chimney. We have a 20-foot Santa on our lawn. Not enough. Anybody can do that. I can put a Santa on a lawn. I feel like you can't have two Santas. That's weird. I would do like a full diorama, theatrical

display. Maybe starting liftoff. Yeah. So like you don't see really thin, clear. Sydney can make them for you. I can make it for you. Nativity display, but with Santa Claus in place of baby Jesus. Oh, that's fun. Like a baby Santa. Baby Santa with a beard. Or just do like Paul,

John, Ringo, and George in the nativity display, since we all know that you're married. You could have some fun with it. You could have the three wise men skiing off your roof. Yes. That fun no i'm that might be tacky that might be tacky the 20-foot santa isn't tacky no have you seen it yes it's wonderful and the kids love it so and i love it but i'm just a little surprised i love more than the kids i thought you were more than an amateur and you haven't done a full diorama display i'm just gonna say i think people's halloween decors lean more towards theatrical and that's why they're so fun. Like one time I saw, driving through Jersey, I saw a huge table on someone's

lawn and I was like, the last supper? No, no, no. Tons of skeletons at the table eating another skeleton who was being cooked in a giant pot by a giant, like one of those 20 foot tall skeletons. And he was like holding it into the pot, cooking it. And it was a whole scene. There was so much happening. And there was like dogs in it. There was all this stuff. So you got to translate that to Christmas.

Yeah, we've been on a waiting list for those skeletons. Oh, are you actually? Yeah. They sold out everywhere. Home Depot's out of them. One of my favorite things is I was walking through Carol Gardens and I saw someone with one of those,

not a giant blow up Santa, but a giant blow up, like 20, 30 foot, like black and orange demon, like kneeling with orange glowing eyes. And I was just like, had teeth. And it took up, it took up like the whole, no, no. For Halloween. Christmas demon. Talk about Halloween decorations. Krampus. Krampus.

A nice Krampus decoration. But like, yeah. You could do Santa's falling off the roof. Whoa. Yeahampus. Krampus. A nice Krampus decoration. But like, yeah. You could do Santa's falling off the roof. Whoa. Yeah, holding onto the gutter. Holding onto the gutter. We have a neighbor that does that. It's kind of fun.

But I have to explain, like, that's a blow up because it looks real and the kids get nervous. It is a fine line between overdoing Christmas and underdoing it. And that's why I just try to do 13 things a day, every single day between November 1st and December 24th. Would you like assistance seeing the line? Just look behind you. Very distantly behind you. Distantly behind you. Live your life and overdo it. Except for when you stomp all over Halloween. That's our motto. And we'll be right back for another hour and a half of talking about Christmas. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

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that are, for my money, the best at generating random numbers. You know what they make? Great Christmas griffs. Griffs? Did I say griffs? Is it a griff? That's the sort of monster it is. These things aren't worth $140.

I have a $20 Christmas griff on my own. One of our sponsors, a grifter. I did. I did. These aren't worth $140. A lot a $20 Christmas griff on my arm. One of our sponsors, a grifter? I did. I did. Dude, these aren't worth $140. A lot of money for a rock. Bought it from some grifter. Just grab a rock and write some numbers on it. You don't have to pay for this.

Shout out to our sponsors. I could talk about Christmas forever, but we'll do that for the next eight episodes. In the meantime, we're doing back to back combats. Roll for initiative. No, we're just going right away. So we're re rolling initiative.

This is very important. Yes. You made this choice. Just want to let you know. Yeah, that's okay. Yes, I am currently,

is this Christmas related? Yes. Because I find your, your take on Christmas sickening. Even to me, uh, Talitha is sickened. Gross. Uh, is I find your take on Christmas sickening even to me. Talitha is sickened. Gross. Is there a time limit on that, or do I have to spend the action to retch?

Here's what I'll do. I'm going to give you a free retch since there was a moment between this combat and the next. You don't get a free retch. There's a moment? One problem at a time. One action each? Hold on. Wait, wait.

He might ruin it for you. You just reminded me, though. You just reminded me. I did my double slice. Uh- each. Hold on. Wait, wait. He might ruin it for you. You just reminded me, though. You just reminded me. I did my double slice. Uh-huh. And I killed the final guy. Uh-huh. I have one more action.

Ah! You're making a new round, but I have a remaining action in the previous round. You guys are really ruining this. Interact action. You guys are really ruining this. Interact action. All right. I close the door

No Stop Yeah Yes Why not I'm right there Are you Are you gonna

Yeah Listen if you beat Initially you're welcome To close the door And I'm sure they'll be like I still have Let's let them go I still have one more action

You're the kind of GM That would take actions Away from players Just on a win It's ridiculous Had you thought have one more action. You're the kind of GM that would take actions away from players just on a whim? This is ridiculous. Had you thought of that in the moment, I would- You ended the session! I did end the session. It was the cliffhanging.

You cliffed it! You can close the door at the beginning of the round, and then they'll come up and knock on it and be like, Is there an encounter in there? This is egregious. Excuse me, Mr. Encounter? Troy, we understand you're a little embarrassed. You went cliffy a little early. I didn't cliffy a little early.

It happens to a lot of GMs, Troy. You cliffied early. You made a mess everywhere. Let me close the door. Here's the thing. You have to think about it. That's what's all over these trees. I knew it.

Let me ask you this. I hate to waste time on this, but what do you think closing the door would do? Give us time to move away. And it would take away a whole round of attacks from them. A whole round of attacks from them. Okay. Well, you're going to get to close the door at the beginning of the round but you don't think you're going to avoid combat right you don't think you could be like we're bottlenecked right

one of my favorite i know you're a wet hot american summer fan one of my favorite jokes in that movie is the guy's running away from the guy on the motorcycle he's literally just running and the guy's chasing him with a motorcycle and they just keep showing him not able to catch him and then he gets to a barrel of hay a little thing of hay in the middle of the road and the guy is running looks behind him and he's like ah it jumps over this like one foot barrel of hay and the guy with the motorcycle screeches to a hall mat and he's just like, Gah! And he could just drive around. And he gets away, yeah, and he's just like,

there's nothing I can do. He got away. It's just such a good joke. I'm sure you're going to win initiative and you can use an action to close the door if you'd like and then we'll see what happens. I gotta win an ish. Wait, what is you, before I finish talking to you about your retching, what do you want to do? Close the door. Stop it. You gave an action. Can I have one action? Boop. Oh, what is you, before I finish talking to you about your retching, what do you want to do? Close the door.

Stop it. You gave an action. Can I have one action? Boop. You know what? You can no longer retch. Roll for initiative. You ruined it for Matthew.

I hope you're happy, both of you. Oh, because I followed the rules. Well, I think you are well within your rights to demand your third action from the previous episode. However, I want to, I'll just go ahead and crush my initiative! So did I. Joe's initiative is brought to you by Nort's Foundry! You guys are ruining

the holidays. Talitha, what'd you roll? So fired up. I rolled 11. No, sorry, 10 with sickened. See, it didn't have to be that way. Lucky, the ruiner? 24, natty 19. Spoiler alert, you're didn't have to be that way. Lucky, the Ruiner. 24, Natty, 19.

Spoiler alert, you're going to get to close the door. Brother Ramius. 26. Oh, my goodness. Natty, 19. And then you can close it harder. Buggles. 16. 16 for Buggles.

Zephyr. Nine again. Nine again. Nine again. Yep. All right, we will begin the encounter. It goes Brother Ramius and then Lucky. Brother Ramius, what would you like to do? Boo-boo!

Close the door. Now bar it. Oh, I was going to do that. All right. Now let's brace it with all the crap around here. All the debris. Isn't it fun? You close the door, you can't see anything.

That is fun. Oh, yeah, look at that. I wonder what they're doing around there. All the debris. Isn't it fun? You close the door, you can't see anything. Uh, yep. Oh, yeah, look at that. I wonder what they're doing back there. Uh, Brother Amias will,

uh, close the door and then he will fall back deeper into the room. Is this, like, difficult terrain or anything?

There's junk everywhere, but it's not mechanically difficult terrain. Nope. Okay, uh, he is going to fall back behind,

or right next to Zephyr. Actually, she was far enough away that that means he couldn't do that. Yeah. All right. So he'll move up near the base of the trunk of the tree, right next to Zephyr. And then, ooh, let's juice up Zephyr a little bit. He's going to be like, when they come through the door, put it through their eyes.

And he's going to touch your bow and cast magic weapon on your bow. Making your longbow a plus one striking longbow. Badass. Okay, plus one striking. So there we go.

Plus one striking longbow. Actually, he can't do that. I apologize. Totally stupid. Yeah, I forgot it's He can't do that I apologize Totally stupid What? Yeah I forgot It's two actions to do that And I had to move up to you

So uh Yeah So he'll give you guidance You could leave the door open And cast that Yeah I'm gonna close the door Go back and give you guidance Hope it was worth it

Look at all these wasted door actions Lucky do you wanna close it harder? Cause it's your turn No Can I take a five foot step And uh Delay Or I have to Um I'm just gonna delay. Can I take a five foot step and delay? I'm just going to delay.

Okay. You can take a five foot step and ready. No, I just want to delay. Delay, huh? Guess you were stymied by my whole door thing I do. My whole entire plan was to close the door and it's closed. I'm delaying. And you've run out

of creativity. Run out of ideas. Only the best here at the GCN. I had one thing. Can you to close the door, and it's closed. I'm delayed. And you've run out of creativity. Run out of ideas. Only the best here at the GCN. I had one thing. Can you, like, hold the door closed? Hold the door. Do you want me to do that? Hold the door. Well, I figure I'm the front line.

As soon as they open the door, I'm there, and I will attack them. I have an idea. What's your idea? Buggles, it's your turn. Oh. Buggles. Uh, Buggles. So, Buggles, he lost, like, his aura recedes.

This other sort of presence in him fades from his eyes. He's stupefied one. Uh, he is, like, just kind of, like, a little dizzy and, uh, out of, out of sorts. He's gonna try to cast Shield on himself, but he has to make a flat check okay he does so boom he cast shield and he takes a step backwards like closer to the tree trunk supporting the roof of this room okay very interesting so you're all kind of like buffing embracing and falling back embracing oh this is fun And then right at the door, it's standing, lucky, with two blades. Oh, they're so dead, dude!

Okay, interesting. They're big dead. Well, this is gonna be fun. Certain things may or may not happen behind the door, and it's Talitha's turn. Oh, God. Oh, are they taking their turn to cast Shillelagh behind the door? Yeah.

That's smart. I retch. You retch. You should have done that between rounds. Natural four. Oh, no. What's the retch roll? What do you got to get?

It's a four to save against the DC, the original DC. Oh, the original DC of the effect. Okay. I will retch again. Retch again. That's a one action retch. Yeah, okay, that's gonna be a,

it was a natural 16 for an 18. All right, you are no longer sickened, you have one action left. Okay, I will pop a vial and put a mutant together. Okay, you start going to work. Now is not the time for chemistry experiments. Zephyr, it's your turn. However, you and Joe gave a knowing glance

towards each other that I didn't care for, and I'd like to know what that was. Would you consider the fact that we had to roll initiative again, that it is a new encounter or maybe the same one? It is a new encounter. I enter monastic archer stance again since the encounter ended in a split second. Changing nothing. Standing exactly like this.

You mean when you had to re-roll initiative to start a new encounter? Were you going to try and game me into holding monastic? I just think that you got so obsessed

with us wanting to shut the door when she still had an action left and we could have just stayed in initiative and I could have stayed in my stance

and you could have retched. She's not wrong. I think it's 100% Sydney's fault. I agree. And you should be mad at Sydney. What? And you should no longer be friends.

And I'm going to pit you against each other. There's always people trying to put the girls against each other. And I'm just going to say, it's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. It's an old playbook, Troy. Get with the times. Nice try. Going to the well a little too many times.

Use one action to enter monastic archer stance. And then a hold at that door. I hold. So then I think you would do two actions to ready, and I think you could ready it flurry of blows, because it's only one action. It is one action. Okay, so monastic.

Because you went into monastic archer stance, you can't delay now. So, like, ready is the way to go. Yeah, because ready is two actions to use one action. When one of those butt heads walk through the door, my action is triggered. Okay. It's round two.

This is interesting. The whole week I had no idea that this is how this would... Yeah, I never thought about that. It never works out the way... I never thought about the door. I didn't really think about it at all. I'm just going wondering what's happening. Shucking and jiving with you guys. But here we are, just in a buff fest. It's Brother Ramius' turn.

I'll delay. Lucky. Delay? It's like poker. That's fine. Like, honestly, they keep delaying. Just walk away. We're on the right side of this door.

We don't need them. I'm going to delay myself out of here. Foggles? Oh, wait. Is there a're on the right side of this door. We don't need them. I'm delaying myself out of here. Buggles? Oh, wait. Is there a lock on the door? No. Okay. Buggles.

Gnomes don't believe in locks. Is still... It's against their gnomish creed. Still stupefied. He is... And he's going to try to burn the stupefied. So he's going to take his turn to try, try to cast shield again, uh,

and make it. And, um, yeah, that's his turn. Huge. Next round. He will no longer be stupid.

That's great. Yeah. I'm giving you time to get out of your psychic, like a hangover, a little haze. Yeah. Okay. Let's start partying.

Let's dance. All right. So here's what we're gonna do. The door opens. Ow! What? Zebra, please. Actually, I just realized I messed something up.

The quick tincture, the tincture is only good until the end of the current turn. So can I retcon my last action? So it would have been useless to carry over. Yeah. Yeah, that's fine. What would you do?

I'll just move. I'm going to move back behind the big tree trunk at the center of the room. That's fine. So you pretty much want to use a tincture as your first action to be able to get the benefits of it in that round. To drink it, yeah. Cool. Okay. Zephyr, please fire when ready.

Flurry of blows with my bow. That's a 22 for my first arrow. That is a hit. Hit. All right. Let's see. D6. That's six points of damage.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What? It's only D6? One D6 plus three. It's a longbow or a short, wait, wait, wait, wait. What? It's only D6? 1D6 plus three. It's a longbow or a shortbow? Oh, that's my fist. I'm sorry. I'm looking at my fist.

It's a D8. You just threw your fist across the room? And it's 2D8. It's 1D8. It is a plus one striking longbow. You said you didn't do that. You said you cast it. Oh, that's right.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. I shouldn't have done that. You have so much egg on your face. Forgot. God damn it! That Philly public school system. 1d8.

Eight points of damage! Nice! You don't need no striking! Any plus or no? Nope. All right, so the second one... Damn, I'm so mad. I forgot that I didn't cast it.

Woo! Um, math. It's 21. That's a hit as well. Yes! Amazing, Zephyr! Bow, bow! One point of damage.

Okay. Now, does that interact action of opening the door adjacent to Lucky, does that trigger her attack of opportunity? That is an interesting question. I would say no. It's a manipulate, isn't it? It is, but there was a wall there. They were concealed when they did. Once I have a character with an attack of opportunity,

you'll get it. It'll come. It'll come. If it was next to you and said, hey, let's go start a band, and they opened the door and said, let's go this way, You could have got it. So in that situation, when that happened. If they were trying to run away from you and open a door, you could get it.

All right. But they have to ask to start a band. All right, it is my turn. Since there were no other readied actions, second action is going to step into the room and then is going to hit you with a very familiar-looking staff covered in vines and flowers and death.

No. Oh, it was natural 20, and then it fucking fell to a two! That's what happened to me last episode. Same goddamn thing. Norse foundry. Thank you, Norse foundry. Why you put the 20 and the 2 so close to each other I think it's a uniform choice

Alright so that is unfortunately It's whole turn That is a really good question for our friends at Norse foundry Do the numbers have to be in the same order On every nice company On a regulated D20 Who regulates it Magic also has A decahedron What's a regulated D20. Who regulates it? Where's the D20 commission? Magic also has a Decahedron die, or a, what's a 20-sided?

Polyhedron. Polyhedron die. No, but there's a 20-sided die. Yeah, I forget what it's called. They also have a 20-sided die, but the numbers are not the same on it. I'm looking at two North Foundry, they're identical. The D20 STL. There was a standard.

I'm looking as well. On a six-sided die, the opposite sides of the dice always add up to seven. I know this because people who use the magic dies, you have to use the magic dies for magic. You can't use a TTRPG. Oh, I think the opposite sides of a 20, they all add up to

21. So 20 and 1. That makes sense. I knew there was a method to the madness. If you're using unregulated dice, you will be kicked off this show. All right, it is my turn again, unless you'd like to go, Mr. Delay over there. Yeah, old Delay Jones is going to step up to the plate here and be pretty uninteresting. How beautiful these maps are. All right, Brother Ramius is going to...

All right, Brother Ramius is going to... Man. He's not a fighter, but he doesn't like this we-wanna-kill-everybody-in-the-world thing they have going on. So, praying for forgiveness of his use of violence against these guys, he's going to cast a Divine Lance at this Oak Steward. And presuming he has turned in his heart truly evil, he will try to spear him with holy light. As you do that, I'll show you a picture

of the person you're attacking. Oh! That's Cucumber. He's like, get him! There's Cucumber. Go, Cucumber! He's got a cool leaf mask. And now we see those masks. Yes. Yeah, he loves them. I don't know if Cucumber is evil, so I'm just gonna try to hit the man and not the cum.

Does he have centaur legs? No, that's just wooden. That's the wooden armor. You kind of freaked out for a second. That's your mind playing tricks on you. Or is it? Or is it? We were discussing centaurs.

I think I have centaurs on the brain. All right, that is a 23 to hit. Rocks, everybody. That's a hit. Rock solid. That is a 23 to hit. Japers. Rocks, everybody. That's a hit. Rock solid. And that is six points of holy damage. Pierces through him.

Okay. And then he is going to pray for Lucky to get guidance. Oh, thank you. A plus one. A plus one to an attack roll

if you so choose. Okay. All right. It is now the other Oak Steward's turn. I wanna act. You delayed as well. Yes.

Alrighty then. He's so angry. All my guys will die. Please, lucky away. Go lucky, go lucky. Guidance. Guidance. I, lucky away. Go lucky yourself. Guidance. Guidance. I'm going to double slice.

Natural one. First attack with my Khopesh. It's not going to be a natural one. Stop saying that. Stop it. Deviant backlash. Stop it. Ooh, natural seven, though, so that's not great.

Damn it. 17. 17. With the plus one. With the plus one. So, yeah, that is a hit. Oh! Guidance! Huzzah! yeah, that is a hit. Oh! Guidance!

Huzzah! Huzzah! It's a plus nine. John becomes a plus 10. That's 11 points of damage. And that poor sap is dead. Oh, that was so fast! Squishy bass.

We are melting these druids. Damn, I still have my other slice. Don't forget cucumber. And cucumber. Yeah, cucumber. You see cucumber standing there right in front of the other druid, just ready to pounce. That's what snakes do.

They pounce. Cats hate snakes. Yep. And snakes often stand. They do. They do. He's smoking a pipe. I only use... How many more attacks do you have? Is that snake smoking? It's a job of you, madame. How many more attacks do you have? I'm so smoking? I don't know about the top of you, madam,

but how many more attacks do you have? I'm so sorry to bother you in the middle of a combat, but how many more attacks do you have? That's a really polite Snake. I've only attacked once. I've used one action. Can I ready an action to use my two other actions? So ready, no? You double sliced.

You double sliced. Oh, it's two actions. But I didn't use the second attack. It doesn't matter. Fuck. Damn it. I want to lead them into sliced. Oh, it's two actions. But I didn't use the second attack. Doesn't matter. Fuck. Damn it. I want to lead them into the room. It doesn't make sense.

You could move out to the snake. Just fall back. You can move. Yeah, fall back. You could also take your third attack. Like, technically your third attack against the snake if you want to hit the snake. No, I'll move back into the room. I'm going to move back ten feet to allow them to come in.

And I'm going to attack them. That's my turn. Fair enough. It is going to be Cucumber's turn. Cucumber is going to double move up to Lucky and attempt to bite you with its fangs. Oh, I love the art on Cucumber. It's really good.

Want to see old Cukes? Yes. Check out Cukes. Oh, no. So imagine just slink, slink, slink, slink. Goes to fight you. Something tells me you got poison coming. I hate snakes, Jock.

I hate them. All right. I feel like this is a good roll. I don't know your ACs off the top of my head. 19. Yeah, that hits. Shapow pow. Let me get my D8.

The damage isn't the worst part of what old cucumber can do. Yeah, it is going to be just one point of piercing damage. However, I need you to roll a fortitude save. Okay. Oh, man. Not a reflex, huh? No. I'm really good at those.

Unfortunately, no. No. Oh, natural 18. Oh, no. No. Oh, natural 18 plus 7. So that's a 25. Because you're just fine. Am I? You said that in a way that makes me think I'm not. That's what I do.

That's his thing. That's my thing. Okay. All right. Don't care for that. It is going to be the other Oak Steward's turn. That sexy young gentleman is going to move. Oh, man, this is brutal.

He's not in the room? No, he's not in the room. Oh, God, the cat, the cat escaped. She's killing us all. That's why I scream. Oh, nice. That's a reaction. He's going to use the nice. That's a reaction. It's good.

That's good. You know, it was such a bummer last week because you guys, a bummer in the sense that, like, I had some cool stuff planned, but you really, I was rolling your deception checks. You all passed. You were close to failing, but with the bonuses, you just, just made it. So I'm, like, just waiting for you guys to slip up. Obviously, I had flavored that the snake could smell you, but all of your role playing, it just kind of made sense.

Like, all right, good luck. And they're thinking to themselves, good luck with the fucking gremlins in there. But I never even described that room to you. And so that wooden staircase spiraled from the ground to a gazebo-turned pillbox 20 feet above the forest floor. The structure's windows are completely boarded up, except for a few small murder holes. And so, had you just rolled up on them, they start firing their crossbows

on you immediately, and they get greater cover from the murder holes. So you were able to avoid all of that. So yes, you're still stuck in this encounter, but like they would have lit you up, and it would have taken you rounds to get to the top while they're just firing on you. Wow. Really well played, and I'm glad that

you could do something cool like that. But let's see if they have anything left in the tank. This guy is going to roll into the room with his first action. He doesn't have his crossbow out. He now has a staff that obviously has Shillelagh cast on it.

I am torn here. I really think I am going to move deeper into the room here. I'm going to move deeper in the room right up to Buggles, which would provoke if Buggles has an AOL. Wait, did you move by me or did you? No, I did not. But you will keep asking every time a creature moves anywhere near you. You didn't move by me?

No. I am going to. Are you forced? I'm going to. You can't be forced. There's a dead body. I thought maybe they had to step around it. I'm going to swing my sweet ass staff at Buggles.

Dude, you're one crit away from permadeath. Okay. That is a miss. I mean, with shield, there's a 12 to hit. These guys! I know. All of Troy's roles over the last couple weeks are making us look like a strike team of superheroes. Yeah, I know.

It's kind of fun. It is kind of fun. It's a really good feeling. Yeah, I mean, you really feel like heroes. And this is the way it should feel the minute you infiltrate a gnome fortress. All right, so I've lost all track of what's going on here, but I believe it is Talitha's turn. Okay, Talitha is going to abandon her plan

to make a quick tincture and is going to come back around the tree. Oops, sorry. Back around the old oak tree? Back round the old oak tree? Back round the old oak tree. Seeing Buggles being menaced by this oak steward, this rogue, this rebel oak steward is going to flank him with Buggles. Oh, there you go.

Really set myself up for that, huh? And I'm going to devise a stratagem. Okay. Natural two. Wow. I think you should use it. I think you should use it. I think I should use it too. So instead, you know what?

I will move further. No, I'll stay flanked, and I will just use... There's no use since doing a recall knowledge on these guys. We've already rolled it. You could aid buggles. That's the best thing. You could attempt an intimidation. I'll aid buggles. That's the best thing. You could attempt an intimidation. I'll aid Buggles.

Okay. The DCs are set at 20, but tell me what you want to do and we can see what happens. You can also wait to see what Buggles does. Yeah, I can use it as my reaction. It's a reaction. Okay. Great. All right, so you don't have to call that.

You have to use an action to say you're preparing for it, but you don't have to say in advance what it is. Okay. So it's situational. Top of round two what it is. What you're going to do. Okay. So it's situational. Top of round two, it is Buggles' turn. Okay. So Buggles, the stupefied, is gone. Like, his eyes are clear.

And he just, like, as himself, just, like, summons a globe of fire, like, in his hand, and just, boom, like, punches this guy with it oh that's cool in the Nika alright so for my aid yeah I'm going to roll a deception check okay and I'm going to continue what I was saying from behind the oak tree like just to

perpetuate the story just to irritate this guy just to see if he can like get mad and just like distract him I just like come up right here I have a cat escape a cat escape we're gonna kill us all alright I'm going to set a DC 18. Ooh. Oh, close. 13.

Okay. How'd we do? I rolled a natural two, so it doesn't matter. That's okay. We did it by the rules. Do you have any actions left? Yeah. So with my third action, I'm again going to raise my psychic shield.

Okay, I love that. Psychic shield! All right, Zephyr. Question. Are you in your monastic stance? I am still in my monastic stance, yeah. Glad I asked. Are you going to end the combat and start a new one?

At that moment, the encounter ends. Everybody re-roll a niche. You know what? I don't like where my initiative is right now. Let's just re-roll a niche. Say, you know what? I don't like where my initiative is right now. Let's just re-roll initiative. Let's just re-roll across the board. No rounds passed, though. She will lose her monastic stance, but I think it'll be worth it.

The thing is, I'm still too close. If I want to hit the snake, I'm within my volley for my longbow, so I'll have to move. I can't see the other person on the other side of the big log in the center of the room. Yeah, and the snake's going to get cover, too, because it's got a big target of lucky. It's going to get cover. Could even be greater cover. One could argue. One.

I guess. Such as me. I want to start moving around the tree, then. Okay. I want to double move around the tree. Tie a yellow ribbon around the old oak tree. Oh, I cannot go through the wall. I need to go around it like this.

Okay. Drag, drag. Okay. All right. Now I can see everything I want to see. Yep, another door to the north, and you do see that spiral staircase leading up as you make your way around the tree.

And from here, does the snake have cover still? Uh, yes. several instances of cover Yeah, I would say that from there It's not an impossible shot, but it's tricky Now if you move to there, I'm gonna say I think you're pretty clean there Let me just do a quick measurement

25 Technically, it'll get a plus 2 to cover there Because it does run through Talitha and the Oak stewards Just Talitha even. Plus two. If you have one more spot of movement, you would be okay. It's just then I'd be within 30 feet and I'd get a negative for that anyway.

Gotcha. Okay. So I'm just gonna do a dirty shot with my bow, which I'm gonna call anything that's not buffed as a dirty shot. Dirty shot. Alright. I like it. Dirty shot. Oh, natural 19. There you go.

So that's a plus two to the guy for cover, the snake. Plus, all right, so yeah, what is... He said, so it's 24. Wait, wait, wait,

but the snake doesn't have cover now. It does. Oh, it still does? It's just a plus two. It's just basic cover, but... Still might be a crit.

Yeah, what is the total? 24. Not a crit, just missed it. 1d8, 1d8, 1d8. Three points of damage. Three points of damage. On that snake. Snake is mad.

Good. Okay, so you hit the poor viper cucumber. The viper. And now it is Brother Ramius' turn. Stop this madness. He calls into the air. He's going to come around the tree here. As this thing went after Buggles, he got very nervous for Buggles.

And where is this dude? You can't see him, isn't that fun? So you can see Talitha. Are you yelling out, where is he? Yeah. He's right to the right. So yeah, I still don't see him, isn't that fun? So you can see Talitha Where is he? He's right to the right So I'll double move then So he double moves around until he can see the guy Around to Zephyr

And he's just going to say Stop this madness There's no need to lose your life For this man This Bolan What's his name? Bolan For this Bolan? Bolan.

Bolan. For this Bolan, who won't even speak with you? We... We did not kill your friend. Your friend, Eric Mona, is fine. She's out. Cory Mona. Cory Mona. Your friend, Cory Mona, is... Is in the woods.

We did not kill your friend. Well, we did kill that friend. Yeah, we did. I don't know how you felt about that guy we killed, but the other guy, we didn't kill him. We've only killed three out of your four friends. Surrender, we will spare your life. So he's going to roll a diplomacy. Okay.

Try to talk this guy down. 19. Yeah, that's not going to do it. He's seen too much bloodshed. You are everything he stands against right now. They will fight until killed. Okay. That's it.

Yeah, that's his round. Okay. Lucky, talk to me. I hate snakes. And she's going to double slice this snake into the ground. Poor little guy. I don't care. Poor little guy.

This snake is bad. The snake is bad, Troy. It is a bad snake. Ay, car care. Poor little guy. This snake is bad. The snake is bad, Troy. It is a bad snake. Ay, caramba. That's 18. That's a hit. Yeah, kill the snake. Oh, that'll be dead. Kill the snake. That'll be a beheaded snake. Come on. Finish it!

Kill the snake. You gotta take the head off. That's seven points of damage. Still up. Alright, you know it's dead. Seven, you said? Yeah, it's a dead snake. Still up. I just see it go red.

We just saw the skull come up over the snake. It's very, very dead. Cool. And then I did call my double strike, so that's two actions, but I'm going to move with my third action. Yeah, pin him in now. You will get your E-O-O, or else he'll stay there.

Stay there and die. And I put my arms out, too. You're not going anywhere. Oh, this is horrible. This is horrible. Surrender, man. This is great. Surrender like Cory Mona did. There's absolutely no value to his own life. Yeah, no, he's made his choice.

He's cucumber. He's dead. I'll sell it. He's cast his lot with Bolan. Surrender. I'm going to swing my Shillelagh. I'm just deciding who I want to swing it at. I think I'm going to swing it at Lucky. You look there to be the most powerful.

I think the best chance this guy has of surviving is to kill you and then back up and kill the rest. So let's do three attacks with the shillelagh. Oh, I'm going down. We'll see. I haven't hit the broad side of a barn in six episodes. I know.

Here we go. Gets a little bonus. All right. That's probably going to be a hit with a 20. Yes. Okay. Well, this actually is going to be a hit with a 20. Yes. Okay. Well, this actually is going to be pretty good. I'm going down.

One hit. I don't have that many hit points. Brutal. What's your max HP? 20. Oh, that's good. Yeah. You're fine.

You're not going to go down in one hit. No, but he's attacking me three times. Yeah, but now he's got the way to go. We'll see. Once you go down, I may stop. We'll see. All right. He may stop. Sh's got the way out. Once you go down, I may stop. We'll see. Alright. He may stop. She's pretty nasty.

Alright, so that's going to be 11 points of damage. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Okay. Second attack is a lower chance to hit. So the total is going to be that. 19. Oh, no!

That was a tough one. Now you may go actually good. That is... I'm going down. Nine points of damage. All right, so you go to dying. Exactly. One.

No, I had one already, so I'm negative one, but yeah. All right. All right, so final attack. I'm going to go on Talitha here. Very, very low chance to hit, but a crit would be brutes magoots uh natural 20 i wish that i was fibbing i wish that i was fibbing that is the you still have to hit my ac you know it's's automatically a hit. It is, yes. Is it automatically a crit if you don't hit my AC? I imagine I hit your AC. You tell me if a...

Yes, it's a crit. Yeah, because a hit would turn into a crit. Yeah, unless your AC is over 20 right now. Well, he could have a penalty to his... Pretty significant map, yeah. And they do, so that's a good point. There is a significant map here yeah. And they do, so... That's a good point. There is a significant map here for the third attack, but it does get a bonus for Shalala.

17. That is the exact... I got good news and I got bad news. So it does turn into a crit. Yeah, it's a crit. The good news is it's a named character. The bad news is it's a named character. The bad news is it's a named character. They're both bad news, but they were good news for me.

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First named character for me to get a crit. His name is Manilamus. Little Manilamus. Wow, I can't believe his plan actually worked. He's just wildly cornered, swinging away for his life, knocks the cat to dying one, and could potentially outright murder Talitha. What if I pull a decapitation crit? Do you have a bottle cap? I do not.

Please. This could be it. I have a bottle cap. We'll see. Jordan from Detroit, Michigan may try to kill you, Matthew. Is that the name? Your character. Is that the name of the crit? Jordan. Jordan from Detroit, Michigan. We've got a bleeder here.

Oh, no. That's terrible. Your blow severs a critical artery Or vein in your target Deal normal damage That's good Deal normal damage and bleed X Where X is half your level Okay

So it's just going to be bleed 1 And as long as it's like As long as it doesn't put you down You'll be okay If it puts't put you down, you'll be okay. If it puts you under, you go straight to dying two. Straight dying two. And then that, even if it's one point of bleed, that's all that matters. Yeah, this is crazy.

I rolled max damage. Oh my God. Okay. So it'll definitely put you to dying two. I would think it is 20 points of damage. It would have been 40 if it was double. Which would have been. That would have been massive damage. That would have been 40 if it was double. Oh my god. Which would have been... That would have been massive damage. That would have been

massive damage. My max are 16. I'm regretting saying we're using massive damage rules because this is now twice. This has almost happened to you, I think, both times. It almost happened to me. It's like four points away. Alright, so let's remember. If Matthew's character

Talitha goes down, it's Jordan from Detroit's fault. Yeah. Jordan from Detroit. We're coming for you. Jordan from Detroit. So you have bleed one. Bleed one, dying two.

Bleed one, dying two. Okay. You do have a healer. There are some chances here. There's a lot of chances. Go to dying two. You're not going down without a fight, Matthew. Lucky as a dying one.

Oh, but somebody's got to kill the Oak Steward. I mean, this is insane. Lucky is at dying one. Oh, but somebody's gotta kill the Oak Steward. I mean, this is... This is insane. This is nuts. This went from completely under control to completely out of control. These are my favorite kinds of combats. Imagine if... Also, like, Lucky went down. That sucks. I'm at dying one.

But if I didn't walk up, and you just attacked Buggles and Talitha, I mean, that would have been worse. That would have been so much worse. Yeah, yeah. But this is, oh, man. Okay. So, everyone's going to move in the initiative order.

So, first I'm going to, first Bugg, I'm going to throw up. I'm so nervous here. I'm going to move everybody in the initiative order. But in the meantime, it is Buggles' turn. Okay. So, Buggles unleashes his psyche again. Aura of swirling frost.

Eyes glow blue. Come on, come on, come on! An amped ray of frost. Oh, there he is! At this guy. That is a 19. 19 is a hit. Yes. This guy has not been hit yet. This is bad. is a hit. Okay.

This guy has not been hit yet. This is bad. Manilamus. Okay. Nine points of frost damage. Okay. I get four temporary hit points. Huge.

His energy is drawn into me. And then you, Talitha, you hear Buggle's voice soothing you. He says, it'll all be all right. And you are healed for four hit points. Okay. So you go to four and wounded two. Still bleeding profusely. Maybe even hit the fake neck wound.

Yeah. That's real. That's real. This is the thing that also as bothers me about second edition is that magical healing doesn't stop bleed yeah but barbering does like a medicine check will do it but magical healing yeah i wonder if there's a there might be a feat who knows or there maybe one hasn't been released yet where you can have magical healing solve bleed. Nope, I don't believe so. It's not strange. It's game design.

It's game design. It's by design so that characters could ever die. So that sometimes a character could occasionally die. Yeah, the Persistent John would do that. All right, so was it Persistent Bleed? Like 1d6 Persistent Bleed? I mean, it doesn't matter, right? Bleed is persistent. Yeah, but it's 1d6, right?

No, it's 1. Oh, it's just 1. It's bleed X where X is half your level. I got you. I'm assuming they're not 4th level or higher. They were actually 16th level, oddly enough. Shit, bleed 8. We'll call it 1. Bleed 8! Great. Is it great? It was 11 points

of damage, not 9. Okay, so I'll take another two away there. Very good. And now it is Zephyr's turn. Shit. So like... Shit. You always want to hear that. She's already been like taken down almost

by these magical stabs. So she doesn't want to get all up in the business. But we'll take a penalty Of course because she's so close With her longbow But that's what I'm going to do So I'm in monastic archer stance I want to do

Can I If I do three of blows from here does it take negative Two because Talitha's in the way Well you know what Talitha fell to the ground So I would say that that does no longer provide us cover. And so am I. Cool, so it's just the regular negative two for my volley. Alright, so

Flurry of Blows. Here we go. You were nowhere near the combat. First attack. That's gonna be an eleven. You can feel it turning the other way. The momentum has shifted. Come on. You're real bad.

You got this. And wounded, too. If Talitha gets crit again, she permadies. You got this. Second attack. Minus two. You got this. It's 11.

Six. Is that 18? And then minus. No. Is it 16? It's got to be an easier way We need cheat sheets 18

14 To hit It's a miss Miss Alright Well it's because You gotta cheat Cheat for 8 plus 6

Like come on No This is high stakes And simple math is hard I back you up Stop Stop Alright So that was one action Okay This stinks That was hard. I back you up. Stop. Stop.

All right. So that was one action. This stinks. This stinks. I want to, with my second action, I want to try and just go for it and use my key strike, which will give me a plus one status bonus, but it's going to be a negative eight to my attack, basically. But if I hit that, be sweet. Would be sweet if you hit. Do it.

All right. Give it a natural 20. I could. 120 chance. Nope. I miss. Of course. I really don't want to get up in this guy's business

because I will go down too. And then nothing will happen. This guy's tough. So with my last action, if I don't stay up, everyone does die. Talitha! You know it's bad when Matt dies. Talitha! Talitha! Shit.

Shit. So I guess with my last action is there any way I can like aid someone here Um Do you need two actions to aid Because it's like readying I can't remember what one Okay yeah you could And not even decide what that is

Until you gotta tell me who you want to aid Um Let's see You yeah Talitha's up So i guess i want to prepare to aid talitha whatever she wants to do okay you want to aid talitha in one way yeah okay um you should know that the way it's worded here joe i think you were wrong you must explain to the gm exactly how you're trying to help and they determine whether you aid your ally. That's the reaction. That's when you're actually on the

reaction. Okay. We never played it like that before. We always said what we were doing before. But this is actually more fun in the sense that you get to, in the moment, decide how you... A lot of times, you are going to be able to say exactly what you're doing, but sometimes, you know, it's a little tricky. But the fact is that aid is a reaction. So it does not happen

until... You're not wrong. For example, if Lucky tried to aid someone, she would forego any AOLs that she had because she would lose her reaction. Right. That's the key is remembering that it uses your reaction. All right.

It now goes to Brother Ramius, and I'm interested to see what you do here because this guy is on the ropes. However, your allies are down. Yeah, it's a tricky situation. I think the most important thing that I can do here is

give him... I need to give him two damage targets to go after, I think, and not just one. I don't know. This is tricky because he'll have multiple attacks, and whoever he hits is going back down.

Right. There's a good chance he goes to Buggles right now or steps up to Zephyr. Man, this is tricky. Okay, so I'm just going to go with my gut because there could be so many different things. So he is going to reach out and heal Lucky. So he's going to bring Lucky back up. Thank you.

Nice. All right. Here we go. Ten. Ten points of healing. Amazing. Okay, so you're just wounded one, but you are also conscious, laying on the ground. And then...

Man. This is tough because he can't really go anywhere um he will uh attempt to aid zephyr okay okay all right now because the initiative order changed it is your turn lucky talk about high risk high reward you've been brought back to life. I imagine in the chaos of this moment is this guy like a frightened animal cornered, is just fighting for his life. May not notice that you have woken up here, but if you strike and miss, he sees you as a viable

target. What do you do? What is the attack penalty from attacking from the ground? So prone, you should be able to check on your sheep, but it's minus two to all attack rolls. You're also flat-footed, and there's a bunch of other sheep. I think I need to stand up.

Yeah, just add the prone thing. That would provoke, but you have not seen an attack of opportunity from these guys yet, unless they've been very sly in how they've used it. I'm going to grab my Kopesh. One action.

Stand up. And he doesn't attack you. Look at Kate. Kate is so tense. I'm so tense. How are you not tense right now? Instantly. Got sweaty.

You went, oh. Like the blood drained from him and I got sweaty. Eight episodes in. But I'm worried that I'm not going to take him down. I only have one attack. I can only do one attack because I can't pick up both. You don't have to take him down, but you have to hit him. You have to hit him.

Okay. So Pesh. Stop yelling, Joe. Stop yelling. So Pesh attack. Now that you see what the massive damage situation is here, if you don't hit and kill him, he could kill you.

He could kill you. Yeah. I mean, she's like, like you said, like her fake wound is now a real wound and she is bleeding from her head and blood is coming out of her mouth and she just like

swings this kopesh like barely able to see out of her right eye. Let's see. Oh no. 18. Oh. That is a hit. Yeah! let's see oh no 18 oh that is a hit yeah

oh what are you doing to me I thought I thought I thought you had a natural one it was single digits

I thought it was a six but it was a nine she looked up like she was gonna say two she's like 46 46 you're like when Troy's on stage and he goes,

ooh, 37. Hit your 8th grade. Fucking small fucking pickle penny. Watch your language. Sorry. Pickle penny. Pickle penny. I tried to reel it back.

Six. Still up. I know. I know that. Did you double slice? I can't double slice. It's two actions. I had to pick up my weapon. I know. That's why I was going to attack from the ground,

but I didn't want to get a negative. You stood and delivered. You have one final chance here, as Talitha has also moved in the initiative order. Talitha, you are bleeding. Talitha wakes up from the side. So she was like, she heard Buggle's voice in her head.

It's like, but she's still laying on the ground. From on the ground, she's not going to move a single muscle. She's going to devise a strategy. Yes, let's see. I love this. This is the best. I love this. What is the strategy? I mean, are you looking for like the back of the Achilles heel? Yeah.

Okay. All right. I imagine he's wearing open-toed shoes. Dude, this is what? Right on the line. It's right on the line. Oh, man. Can I stand and pick up my weapon as I stand?

As a part of a move action to stand up? No, she just did it as two actions. Well, we could retcon mine if you want. We can retcon. Neville. It's two Johns. Man, we could retcon mine if you want. It's two jobs. Manipulate. Draw.

Stand. I do believe, I could be mistaken, but I do believe there is a feat or ability somewhere in some class that if you are knocked unconscious, you hold onto your weapons. Don't release your weapons. Okay. Which is cool. There's also, I think, an item that keeps it attached to your wrist. Oh, I got to get that. keeps attached to your wrist. Yeah.

Oh, I got to get that. What does Zephyr do to aid me? Oh. I don't know if I see you doing anything. Oh. Oh. Being so secretive. You see Talitha's hand close around the hilt of her right wrist. I try to maybe, I feel like I've seen you do this before.

You're devising your stratagem, and I'm trying to, like, maybe whisper to you, like, the Kaeli's heel, it's in the back. It's in the back of his leg. Oh, that's good. The Kaeli's part of his heel. Ten inches from your other hand, whatever. I didn't know that before. That's all it is.

It's nice to play with a doctor. The exact place to strike. Well, for seriousness. If you're ever bleeding, it's a good thing. Seriously, I'm just trying to be, like, ten inches from your hand. That's an easiest strike to strike. For seriousness. If you're ever bleeding, it's a good thing. Seriously, I'm just trying to be like 10 inches from your hand. That is the easiest strike to make. As a monk, you would know the spots. The anatomy. That's so true.

Yeah. The foot is whatever. What would you roll here? Diplomacy? I feel like I could roll... Diplomacy check. Anatomy lower? I would say maybe like... Would athletics be a thing here? I know it's strength but it's like having the knowledge of athletics

Or something like that Is that your highest skill? No acrobatics She could have said acrobatics Acrobats use their Achilles tendon all the time All the time Intelligence like general intelligence Or like I don't know if that makes sense

Do you have any lore skills? Stabling Stabling. Stabling? Dude, horses have Achilles injuries. How about society? Society is probably charisma. Or no, I'm trained in society for some reason.

The society of humans. You know what? Athletics isn't right but there's really no right answer here. And you can make the DC whatever you want. I feel like just winning the class. I'm going to keep it at 20. And being martial, I should get a bonus. What about medicine?

Being a martial... Do you have medicine? No, but being a hands-on martial thing. He said you can roll athletics. You can roll athletics DC 20 to give her a plus two to her attack. Plus one. Plus one, excuse me. Natural 16.

There you go. 22 without the other bonus you mentioned. All right, this could be it. Plus one. Okay. 23. So, we're using my intelligence modifier. Which would be a cumulative minus one because you're attacking from prone.

I have all that factored in. Do you? Yeah. He's devising a strategy. Does he people at home? I have prone on my sheet. He's a fucking liar. All playwrights are liars. They make up everything. He's never written a non-fiction play.

With the plus one, it's going to be a 17 to hit. Right on the line. We know an 18 hits. We don't know if 17 hits. I'm going to be a 17 to hit. Right on the line. We know an 18 hits. We don't know if 17 hits. I'm going to be sick. Let me check his AC. You don't know his AC?

I do, but I'm doing this for effect. He's being... Put on my glasses. My monocle. Your monocle? I need a GCN monocle. His C here. His AC.

His 16. Oh! Justin, Justin, Justin, leave this. Okay, here's see here. His AC is 16. Oh! Justin! Salitha! Okay. Here's the thing. How much damage? Last time you did a crit, you did four points of damage.

That was with my hand crossbow. Let's see what you got. Now I got a strategic strike. You got your rapier. Yep. Strategic strike. Salitha wakes up. She only moves her eyes.

She seeks out. She sees this guy standing there trying to, like, deal with buggles, like, deal with all the craziness of the frost and the fire. And then she hears Zephyr go, Achilles, for the Achilles. She has her fist. Her fist is clenching on her rapier, and she just stabs him and straightens the back of the leg. Amazing. Come on, dude.

Nine points of damage. He's dead. Yeah! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh, my gosh. Kill! He's dead Yes Yes Yes You killed a bunch of badasses We are a team I mean my goodness you killed two

Oak stewards, a viper Two gremlin like creatures And another gremlin like creature In back to back combats You're standing here in this workshop that is completely dilapidated. There is a winding staircase leading further up, a door leading to the north, a door on the other bridge outside leading farther to the west.

Yeah, we can't go that way. Well, you're dead now. Now we'll go wherever we want. Seems like things are a little weird here. Let's see what happens next week. Oh, I don't want to stop. You're in it. You are going in it right now.

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