The Glass Cannon Podcast - Gatewalkers Episode 9 – Bachman-Turner Overshirt
Episode Date: November 10, 2023Back to back battles leave the heroes reeling, but there are more areas to explore in the occupied treetop gnome fortress. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/8F08tLFQ600 This episode was sponsored... by Demiplane, Foundry VTT and Norse Foundry. Check out Demiplane's Pathfinder Nexus and character creation tools at https://bit.ly/GCNOfficialTools See why tabletop gamers everywhere have made the switch to Foundry Virtual Tabletop at https://foundryvtt.com/gcp Visit https://zbiotics.com/GCP to get 15% off your first order when you use code GCP at checkout. Visit https://drinkAG1.com/GLASSCANNON to try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase. Visit https://manscaped.com and use code GCP to get 20% off and free shipping. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for hundreds of hours of exclusive shows and benefits, make your membership official and join Glass Cannon Nation today by becoming a subscriber at jointhenaish.com. Watch new episodes when they premiere every Thursday at 8PM ET on youtube.com/theglasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Chauncey was going to take me on a trip to the place he's from.
From the producer of Megan, Five Nights at Freddy's and The Black Phone.
Alice! Alice! Alice! Get out!
Now.
Many kids have imaginary friends.
Ready or not.
Just because you stop believing in them doesn't mean they're gone.
Here he comes.
And they're angry you left.
Imaginary.
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Last week on the Glass Cannon Podcast.
As soon as they open the door, I'm there and I will attack them.
Lucky with two blades.
Oh, they're so dead, dude.
The heroes braced for battle.
Use one action to enter monastic archer stance.
And then a hold.
When they come through the door, put it through their eyes.
The door opens.
With a very familiar looking staff
covered in vines and flowers and death.
No.
Though their enemy was fierce.
I'll just go ahead and crush my initiative.
Fire when ready.
You make fire when ready.
She's going to devise a strategy.
Yes, let's see.
I love this. This is the best. They came together as a going to devise a strategy. Yes, let's see. I love this.
This is the best.
They came together as a team.
That is a hit.
Oh!
Bunch of bad asses!
And cleared the way forward.
You killed two oak stewards,
a viper,
two gremlin-like creatures,
and another gremlin-like creature
in back-to-back combat
standing here in this
workshop that is completely dilapidated a door on the other bridge outside leading farther to
the west yeah we can't go that way well you're dead now now we'll go wherever we want the
adventure continues seems like things are a little weird here no No. Good evening, everybody, and welcome back to the Glass Cannon Podcast.
Matthew, I need to tell you something.
Go on.
It's Christmastime.
No.
For fuck's sake.
There's no need to be afraid.
At Christmastime, we let in light and we banish shade.
How often do you banish shade from your life?
Because I feel like there's a lot of shade being thrown at me, and I'd like to banish it.
I banish it every year, starting December 1st, when I play Christmas music, so I can treasure it.
Treasure it.
I don't love that we're recording this in September and I have to sing Christmas tunes,
but damn it, when this comes out in a couple months, people are going to expect it.
You love it.
Don't even.
Yeah, you love it.
I kind of love it.
Not getting tired of it at all.
No, no.
I heard like a Christmas commercial the other day.
It was a little early and it wasn't even advertising Christmas.
It was like for Target and they were doing some sale and I was just kind of like,
It was like the first frost. were doing some sale and I was just kind of like, it was like the first frost felt it in my loins.
Troy, I know you love like the Hallmark Christmas films.
I know that you watch all of them, but are you, I'm curious about everybody.
Are you a film crier?
Do you get touched by like the Folgers Christmas commercial when the son comes home from college?
Are you like, oh, I'm a sappy Christmas guy.
And that brother and sister are trying to have sex. Yeah, the brother and
sister, you think they're
married and then you find out it's his brother.
If we knew that you cried all
Christmas, I think that would make us feel a lot better.
I do. There are
times when the emotion hits me. It doesn't
take much. I mean, I'm watching Hallmark
movies. They are meant
to tug at the heartstrings.
I'll always tell my wife,
like, cause I'll stay up, she'll go to bed and I'll stay up and I'll watch like another one.
And then maybe I'll watch like a third or, or my fourth that day. And, uh, she'll wake up the next
morning. I was like, man, I watched a good one last night. This guy, his wife died and he was
trying to find love again. And I'll like, I'll start to, I'll be like, it was just really touching.
Now, do my crying in the moment? No, but like, I'm, I'm feeling to I'll be like it was just really touching now do my crying in the moment no but like I'm feeling emotions I'm feeling emotion that's what these Hallmark
movies do so well is they oh my god they make you cry such a strange feeling I feel emotions
is the answer he arrived at are we surprised are these emotions they kind of make you feel
Hallmark movies are a LaVallee Voight-Kff test. That's what he's subjecting himself to every year.
He's proving to himself that he's human.
Is that the Android test?
Yeah.
I don't know.
It just, they really, they like, they wrap you in a fireplace of Christmas warmth with a cup of cocoa.
I like even the Halloween ones.
They got some autumn ones.
There's a great meme that's like one of the cover boxes.
It says, shove a pumpkin up my ass is the name of the film.
Hell yeah.
But you haven't seen this meme.
So many questions.
That's a different story.
But I'll tell you about the, basically, it's always like the guy.
No, no.
Let's hear the story about when you shoved a pumpkin up your ass.
There's a guy and a girl, and they're like on the cover box.
All the Hallmark movies, they all have like the same cover box.
It's the guy and the girl and they're just like staring off in the distance.
But they've replaced the title with Shove a Pumpkin Up My Ass.
Hallmark presents Shove a Pumpkin Up My Ass.
But the Thanksgiving ones and the Halloween ones are good too because it'd be like,
Oh, I'm this attorney in New York, but I have to go visit my dad in Vermont because his pumpkin farm is struggling.
But the Halloween ones, are they like falling in love with a ghost or something?
They find out he's been dead for 40 years.
But she's a lawyer, and there's someone that's encroaching on his pumpkin land, and she's
coming to help.
They could never be together.
He's just a small-town pumpkin farmer.
He's a big shot lawyer.
That's going to be the original idea. He's a big shot lawyer. He's got this farm hand.
He's got this farm hand that she
went to high school with. I'm kind of
making up some of this plot, but this is exactly what a Hallmark
plot would be. And they start rekindling.
But she'll arrive in her hometown
and she hasn't been there in like 20 years and she'll roll
into the little shop that she used
to go to as a kid. It's like, oh, Emily!
Home from college? She's like, no, I live in New York now.
I'm a lawyer. It's like, Oh, what can I get you?
And she orders like a pumpkin latte
with a cider donut. And they just
they know how to like prick all
the holiday feels.
So you start crying at the
donut? It's apple cider
donut season. You're so beautiful.
I don't cry, but there is a
Pavlovian response that happens in
my body where I start like,
oh, I feel the joy of the season.
I feel I need an apple cider donut right now.
Yeah, now I actually do.
I could use an apple cider donut.
Have you not had several dozen since the season began?
No.
No.
I'm going apple picking tomorrow.
Really?
Yeah.
See, that's what I'm like.
Oh, I was just thinking, I want to go pumpkin picking.
I had, for the first time in my life, a new variety, not new, but it was new to me, variety
of apple.
And it was honestly the best apple I've ever had in my life.
What do they call it?
It's called a sweet tango.
Unfortunately, the T is shared with the word sweet and tango, and it's one word.
Sweet tango.
Sweet tango.
Sweet tango.
Sweet tango.
But it's a-
Where did you get it?
I got it at the Flatbush Food Co-op.
Oh, cool.
But it was a...
It's a bougie apple.
It's a hybrid of a honey crisp.
Was it like a $35 apple?
No, it was on sale.
It was $33.
Right.
It's a hybrid of a honey crisp, which I previously believed was the best kind of apple.
Yes, that's a great apple.
Yeah, we've gone over this before.
You're a sociopath.
Macintosh is the best type of apple. Oh, my God. Oh, my Yeah, we've gone over this before. You're a sociopath. Macintosh is the best type of apple. Oh my god.
That's your grandmother's thing.
Wait, there are people who think that
Macintosh isn't the best? That's an old apple.
That's a basic. It's fine.
Macintosh is the best apple. You seem like
cave paintings of people enjoying Macintosh
in France.
I thought you were all Macintosh
last time we had this conversation. See, this is where
the holidays crumble. Makes me sick. Maybe if you were Abraham Lincoln, you'd be like, four score and all Macintosh last time we had this conversation. See, this is where the holidays crumble.
Maybe if you were Abraham Lincoln, you'd be like,
four score and seven Macintosh apples ago.
Macintosh is the best apple.
I mean, it's got the best taste.
Are we not basing this on taste?
Yeah.
Anyways, what were you going to say? And also how it makes your tummy feel afterwards.
That's also true.
When you have sensitive tummies.
It's a great apple, but it makes your tummy hurt.
If anyone has a line on a sweet tango apple,
because apparently you can only have them through September because because they're so they last only so long oh
i love them i'll have to look that up sweet tango cider donuts i don't like to give plugs um without
people paying for them but there is an instagram account i follow called the cider donateur
and he has gone to like every farm in the Northeast and raided their cider donuts.
And so like, I'll follow some of his, uh, they grow them.
No, like, yeah, he goes to the cider.
Why are they served at the harvest?
You've never been to like a farm during the fall?
I don't go to a lot of farms.
Have you ever been apple picking?
I mean, when I say.
Go to a store, buy a fucking apple.
I don't know why i'm doing all the
work because then at the end you go and get little coffee and cider donuts i can do that without
picking fruit we got maybe it's just an upstate new york thing but like i go to a farm at least
once a week and my wife goes three times a week uh just because like you go and you get your cider
your coffee your donuts your um it's good it's like It's like you have to kill, you can't just
outsource the
killing of the animals. I honor the apple in my
own way. I don't have to.
I eat the core whole. You gotta see how the apple's
made, you know? I say a little prayer
to the apple spirit
and then that absolves me.
You gotta go to a farm. The one closest
to our house does chocolate-covered cider
donuts. It took me two hours to get here. Do you know how long it would take me to get to a farm. The one closest to our house does chocolate-covered cider donuts. Oh.
It took me two hours to get here.
Do you know how long it would take me to get to a fucking farm?
I don't want a farm.
Yeah.
When I lived in the city, it was a long drive.
It was two hours to get, like, to a place in Jersey.
They had a great one in Jersey. I got so many orchards near me now.
Oh, yeah.
I'm a little in the good life.
I have a farm literally a 10-minute walk
from my house.
I cannot believe that you're...
My parents get my Christmas trees
from that farm, I believe.
You're all bragging,
and yet,
who has brought
apple cider donuts
to us New York City-ers?
I bought apple cider donuts
yesterday,
and they're in my house.
I'm saying,
who brought them here?
I brought them once.
I will on Tuesday.
But you weren't here for that.
Remember I brought
cider donuts once?
I'm sorry.
You're pointing at me.
Where was I?
It doesn't count. I don't remember. If we're not here, it doesn't count. Don't lie to me. It was brought cider donuts once? I'm sorry. You're pointing at me. Where was I? It doesn't count.
I don't remember.
If we're not here, it doesn't count.
Don't lie to me.
It was the old studio.
Yes, you did.
It was the old studio.
You did bring them.
I brought them from Wilkins Fruit and Fur Farm.
Okay, well, that was three years ago.
So do you want to-
I'll bring some-
You kidding me?
I'll bring some fucking donuts in next time.
I bet you won't.
I am.
I am.
I am.
Reverse psychology.
Oh, you're going to bring something too?
Yeah, I'm going apple picking.
Oh, I'm worried we're going to have too many donuts.
Said nobody. Never. Also, that're going to bring something too? Yeah, I'm going apple picking. Oh, I'm worried we're going to have too many donuts. Said nobody.
Never.
Also, that's just a very, very strange sentence.
And I'll bring apples.
I'll bring in the donuts.
I'm going apple picking.
Duh.
What?
Dude, I have my outfit picked out and everything.
Overalls.
Overalls.
Are they little overalls?
No, I have this like really fuzzy.
It's like a fuzzy over shirt.
And then it has like a matching hat and a matching bag. And it's all fuzzy. What's an over shirt? It's like a. it's like a fuzzy over shirt. And then it has like a matching hat and a matching bag.
And it's all fuzzy.
What's an over shirt.
It's like a,
it's like a,
it's not an over shirt.
It's like almost like a shirt jacket.
What are you talking about this over shirt?
It's like a pullover.
Do they sell them next to the laser clothes?
You guys don't know anything about fashion.
That's true.
That's true.
That's definitely true.
That shut him up real fast.
That's self-evident. Is it a sweatshirt? It is. It's like. That's true. That's definitely true. That showed him up real fast. That's self-evident.
Is it a sweatshirt? It is. It's like a pullover sweatshirt and like it's got a zip
and like a little hood. But it's got this
like brown flower pattern and it has
a matching fuzzy hat and a matching
fuzzy bag. Why does it have a different
name? I think you're the only person
that's ever called it an overshirt in the history
of civilization. Listen, English is hard.
Important question.
Does the fuzzy bag, will the fuzzy bag serve as your apple bag?
It could.
It's a big bag.
All right, ready?
Here's what you need to do when these donuts come in.
And maybe if you want to do the donuts, I'll take care of this.
Boom.
Bottle of fireball.
Oh my God.
Boom.
Here we go. Jug of cider.
Heat that fucking cider up. Throw a couple cinnamon sticks in. Not too many, Sydney. Not too many. It'll overpower it. I know. Here we go. Jug of cider. Heat that fucking cider up.
Throw a couple cinnamon sticks in.
Not too many, Sydney.
Not too many.
It'll overpower it.
I know.
Yeah, Sydney.
Gallon of fireball in there.
A gallon?
Doot, doot, doot, doot, doot.
And let me tell you.
A gallon of fireball.
Take those cider donuts, pop them in your mouth, drink some of that cider.
You're going to feel like you're at a tailgate in the Midwest.
You're going to feel like you're at a rave in the woods.
A rave in the woods?
I don't want to be in either of those places right now.
I'll tell you, it's going to make you wish you had an overshirt on.
Anyways, stick around.
We'll be right back.
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And we're back.
We didn't get to my Bantalk pic,
but we're just going to go along with the show.
Just bank it.
Bank it for the rest.
We're going to bank it.
I had a good one.
We'll talk about it next time.
But now we need to talk about the show that we're doing where several characters have
already died nine episodes into the show.
That's not true.
Okay.
But just feels that way.
It feels that way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm scared.
Are you scared?
Yes.
Yes.
You should be scared.
You should be.
I'm nervous.
And I'm also, I'm nervous because Troy sends out very intimidating emails to all of us where he's like, hey guys, just want to let you know, many, many, many, many characters die.
In other shows.
In other shows who have played this.
In other games.
So like.
Other shows.
All the other shows.
All the other shows.
I'm just saying like, good luck.
I mean, be scared.
See you tomorrow.
Live in fear.
Love, Troy. Literally, that is the tone. It's it's like be afraid you want to keep our blood pressure up yeah does anybody actually legitimately have a
backup character no no i have i have i do not well there's backup character like i've made the
character sheet and there's backup idea i have nothing i don't know because i intend to live
forever in this campaign i i refuse to mechanically build the characters because you would tell me to do that in our first campaign.
And if I did it, the character would die.
Wow.
Superstition.
But if I refused and bucked your directive, the character would survive.
I don't have a backup because I plan to play Buggles like an abject coward all the way through the adventure.
Serve his life at all costs.
Yeah.
You will fully disengage and flee a combat and start a new life.
Absolutely.
And Buggles will live off it.
And we'll all be cool with it.
And every once in a while we'll just flash in on Buggles' other life.
Yeah, what's he up to?
Just hiding under a pile of coats.
I've thought about this.
I mean, we've had several combats now.
A pile of overshirts.
We've had several combats now and there's been like two instances already where it was
permadeath was on the line.
And then as I look ahead and start preparing, I'm seeing stuff and I'm like, wow, this is,
this is really tricky.
Even with five players and I'm adjusting, but like not a ton.
I'm just kind of feeling it out, especially at a really, really low level.
Are you adjusting in every single encounter?
No.
Okay.
No.
I mean.
There isn't like a blanket mechanical adjustment you're putting on everything?
No, absolutely not.
No, I'm adjusting on the fly.
And I'm not adjusting ACs at all.
I'll tell you right now.
I have not adjusted a single AC, all that.
And I'm not adjusting to hits.
If anything, I'm adjusting hit points.
And I'm not adding any combatants or anything.
I haven't yet.
That's all I will say.
I've already said too much.
However, there's tough shit.
And then when you add the massive
damage rule on top of it, I
think there's a high
possibility someone's going to die.
And then I thought about that. I was like, well, maybe we should just not do
massive damage rules. Because once you
survive to second level, that becomes less
of a threat when you get that hit point boost.
But then, and I mentioned this right before
we went live, I think about about the expanse as a great uh you know sort of uh example of how spoiler alert like big
main characters die repeatedly in like the first few episodes and i'm like and that shows great
that story is great uh when it's also based i think on their rpg where it probably happened
as yeah there's a rumor about that there was like they
think it's a traveler campaign that they were doing the books are based the other books are
based on allegedly and some of the some of the greatest stories of all time or tv shows
characters die so I don't want to nobody has plot armor I think that's one of our hallmarks is like
people could die I don't want it to happen this early but I think if it happens it happens and
we we figure it out.
I will say we were saying specifically for this type of fight with these druids that Shillelagh is brutal for massive damage.
Yeah.
Just because, I mean, Talitha went down, I think, in one hit.
It was like 40, what was it?
Yeah, like 40 points of damage.
Yeah, 40 points of damage.
Well, no, I mean, that would have killed you.
But yeah, I don't know.
It's a lot.
I came close to getting massive damage death.
I mean, last episode, one of them did 20 points in a single non-critical hit.
That was max damage, but still 20 points at first level.
Yeah, half of it is Troy roll, which is Troy just rolls well no matter what.
And the other half is we all have, what, 15, 20 hit points?
Yeah, well, I think it means that we need to be,
well, we always have to try to be better, like, tactically.
But in this case, we have to, like, be sneaky,
not let them have time to prepare,
and jump them before they can cast Shillelagh.
The next, what are these guys called?
Are they Oak Stewards?
They're Oak Stewards.
They're just a faction, a rebel faction.
Dark Oak Stewards. They're people that faction, a rebel faction of Oak stewards.
They're people that have flocked to Bolan's banner.
But they don't have like a name, right?
Like their faction doesn't have a name.
No, no.
As far as you know, they were Oak stewards.
I know they were Oak stewards, but they're not.
But there are Oak stewards that are not rebelling back at Seven Arches, right?
Right, right, right.
Who are chill.
Yeah.
Basically, what you've been told is like when Bolan came back, he was changed.
And the people that were with him, none of them came back, only Bolan.
And he was kind of coming back into town, infiltrating, finding people to convert.
Because he was always a bit of a rabble rouser.
He thinks that the Druids were being too soft.
The Orcs Druids were being too soft.
He thinks it should be this way.
And so some people were like, yeah, yeah, Bolan.
But he has no branding.
Like he has no banner.
They call them Bolan's boys. Bolan. But he has no branding. Like, he has no banner.
They call them Bolan's boys.
Bolan's boys.
That's what we were asking. That sounds like the Confederate kind of renegade squad.
Yes.
Like Quantrill's Raiders or something.
But they have those masks, right?
They have the different masks.
Yeah, they do have the masks.
So maybe they're working on a name.
They just haven't come up with it.
They're forks.
These guys suck.
Bolan's men?
No, no.
They're doing market testing. Bolan's brothers. They're testing. They're doing market testing.
What if we did Oak Stewards, but we spelled it O-K-E?
That's good.
Let's put it on the board.
I imagine them holding the mask up.
No bad ideas today.
No bad ideas today.
Blue sky.
The bro stewards.
The bro stewards.
And a few guys are like, yeah.
And they're like, write it down.
I like the idea of them holding the mask.
And they're like, better with or without?
Scary? It's or without. Scary?
It's not scary.
Scary?
Viper mask?
Are we married to oak?
What rhymes with oak?
What, can we do a pun?
If we do these masks, couldn't then we be killed and other people put them on and then
infiltrate our hideout?
You sound like an idiot.
Cross it off the board.
All right, we've decided.
We're the pine stewards.
Birch.
I love it. board. All right, we've decided. We're the pine stewards. Birch.
Rubber, rubber, rubber.
The mahogany stewards, because that's stronger.
It doesn't really roll off the tongue.
I don't know. Get out of here!
In Stardew Valley, mahogany is like
stronger, right?
What looks good on a marquee? I don't know. You're dying.
Bleeding. I'm not dying yet.
You might be. And I believe we just start with you taking
a point of damage and rolling your check? Yeah, I have
one more action and my flat check left.
Oh, you let Matthew take an
action. I remember when I had an
action left over to a new
session. Wow, bringing up old shit.
I was told no!
I never forget. Somebody needs a cider
donut to come.
Alright, well, this is interesting.
The difference is you weren't bleeding to death.
That's fair.
I think Matthew should take his point of damage so he dies.
And yeah, and this is what we're hoping here is that you will just bleed to death.
This is kind of a little bit crunchy here, I think.
And we've dealt with this a little bit in the live show when it changed to 2E.
It's like you're out of combat, but you still have persistent damage.
There's a part of me that wants to be like, there's four people around.
You're going to be fine.
But that's really not how it works.
Because not only could you not be fine in an attempt to help you, they could hurt you.
And the analogy I made is that if we were to all travel to Chicago together and we were ready to get pizza outside of Pequod's
and someone came up and shot you,
you would die because none of us could help.
He said this to me, Matthew,
and I said, you wouldn't just want to put pressure on the wound?
Specifically, though, you're shot in the neck in this scenario.
Oh, yeah, and Matthew said, just apply a tourniquet.
Take my belt off.
And I said, a tourniquet on your neck?
And Matthew said, why am I shot in the neck?
And both Troy and Joe said, obviously, you got shot in your neck and Matthew said why am I shot the neck and both Troy and Joe said
obviously you got shot in the neck but
even if we were like don't just put
pressure like this like how I saw them
do it I will die without medical
attention by a trained expert everyone
knows that medical experts go to Pequod's
because it's healthy for you yes but yeah
this was but here's the thing.
Here's what I'll say about it.
I think a lot of people think of bleed as bleeding.
But that's not it.
Bleed means like a cut artery.
It means like...
I should call it spurts.
It's something dead.
Very, very, very deadly.
It's like...
And if it doesn't get stopped the proper way, non-magically, you will die.
But does Brother Ramius have the capabilities to treat wounds?
He does. He is a trained mediciner.
And he's got his healer's tools.
So, you still have to do your turn.
You have your remaining actions. Let's talk through this.
This is going to be the whole session.
Yeah. Okay.
So, first things first.
I thought
I had a potion on me. I do not.
Pour some cider on it.
That'll clean the wound.
Okay. I spend my third action
cleaning the wound with cider.
Was that mulled cider?
Yes.
Yes.
Cider has a fireball?
There's so much allspice in this
Stop
Did you use the one with fireball in it?
That was a backup
What'd you roll?
Natural 20 on the block
Oh, see?
It's all academic
We got this
All right, so you take another point of bleed
Bringing you to three hit points
Three hit points
Oh my god
But you are no longer bleeding
Yay
Thanks to the mulled wine
Nice job
Talitha lives another episode.
With the force of my own will,
I stop the blood from spurting.
I don't even touch it.
I'm just like, I look at it and I'm like.
And it shrivels in fear from you.
Shrivels in fear.
Sinks back into your body.
Flex it closed.
So now we're out of combat.
Right, do you guys want to just rush into the next room?
No!
Okay.
You tell me what you want to do.
I'm wounded too.
I stand up.
For my third action, I stand up.
I think Lucky would like to rebar
the door.
Close it.
So I go over to re-close the door,
drag the body inside,
make sure that's secure.
Drag the body inside.
I just wanted to do one thing with the door. I wanted
one thing. No, I just, I think we should
hole up in this room for a sec.
Because I think we need to rest for
a minute. What do you guys think?
I think we need to rest for a night. We need to rest for a long
time. Yeah. But right now
we need to
heal up as quickly as we can.
Just, you know, a basic heal,
which is going to take probably at least 30 or 40 minutes or so.
And that's just attending to each other's wounds with treating wounds.
So, but it might not even be successful.
So I'm going to start with Brother Ramius is going to come to Talitha and treat wounds.
I'm going to treat your wounds at the same time.
Like a massage train.
That's cute.
Here we go.
Oh, fail.
Fail.
Oh.
Wow.
Brutal.
Fail by one point.
Me too.
Okay.
What did I roll?
A 14?
Yeah, I rolled a 14.
You guys should have not done it at the same time.
Yeah.
That was the problem.
Yeah, that was definitely the problem.
It was very distracting.
There's no way that was going to succeed.
No. Okay, so that means
yeah, so ten minutes. Yeah, so ten minutes
passed. Anybody else doing
anything like during that time? I'm going to keep watch
over by the other exit to the room
to the north where like there's stairs
just to make sure nothing gets
the jump on us while we're doing this. Yes, there
is another door to the north, which you
know just from when you were on that first platform
leads to another bridge that goes to another hut to the north,
and then there is a winding staircase leading to a second level.
Right.
Can anybody treat wounds on Lucky?
Yes, Brother Amius will.
I'm sorry, Talitha, I don't know what's wrong.
I'll come back later
And he's going to try
And attempt it on Lucky
I could use some
And there we go
So that is almost a crit
Whoa
But just a regular treat wounds
So
You will lose
The wounded condition
Yeah
So that's good
And you will get 10 hit points
I am back to full.
Thank you so much.
Do the best I can.
And he's just sweating and stressing and shaky
and moves to whoever's next.
Who's next?
Anybody else take damage?
Buggles, you good?
I'm fine.
Yeah, Buggles is spending this time refocusing.
So he's going to sort of meditating and sort of
reestablishing the boundaries between
his own mind and
this other entity that resides
in his skull.
I like that. So is this mechanically
you're recovering your focus points? Yeah.
By the way,
at some point, if there's a lull,
I can discuss the issue that I have.
That there's a problem I have mechanically with this class.
Ah.
Yes, something you discovered one or two episodes ago, but it wasn't the right time to talk about it.
Okay.
Well, we have to wait 60 minutes to treat me again, so...
Yeah, so during that time, I am going to refocus.
I can treat myself. Let's see what happens.
Treat yourself.
Oh, I get it. Okay. Let's see how that goes.
So I will refocus.
Zephyr, are you okay?
Yeah, I think I just also need a moment to refocus as well.
I'll leave you alone. I'll keep out.
Watch out here. You guys do what you need
to do. Talitha treats
her own wounds, gets back
ten hit points, and removes the wounded
condition. Excellent.
Are you back up to full? No.
But if we're going to rest, I'll be fine.
Is that the plan, then?
Like a rest rest?
Do you think it's safe?
Do you think they'll patrol?
I'm concerned about this staircase.
We don't know what's upstairs.
I'm going to lean out and just like look up these stairs.
Not like actually go up, but looking at where they ascend into.
And just...
Everyone, quiet.
Quiet for a moment.
Shh. And let's try to... I'm going to do a perception, just hearing.
See if I can hear anything upstairs.
Okay.
10.
I will try to also because I was sitting there.
Yeah.
Natural 20.
Oh, yeah.
Talitha.
Investigator.
19 total.
I got a 19 plus my perception.
Wow.
So 24.
All right, so Brother Ramius is distracted.
Distracted.
He's in his own head.
Yeah, in his own head, so you're not able to really focus in.
But the three of you do listen and look,
and you see that there's a platform above that's open to the air,
so there's no floor above that.
And you see lots of branches and leaves that look like they've been shaped in a certain way to form like a light canopy, but it's still open to the sky above.
Oh, lovely.
And yeah, you don't hear anything other than the rustling of leaves in the wind.
Is there a door we could bar on the north?
There is, yeah. There's a door
direct north on this
hut, this workshop.
Opposite the stairs.
But the stairs are open.
And it only goes up.
Only goes up.
Lucky says,
it seems like it's just a lookout, no?
Do you want to go up and check We are in the apparel
Of oak stewards I don't see why that would be
Too strange
I think if we want to rest here we should
Just make sure upstairs we know what's going on
Up there
Yes it's very wise
I'd rather not get ambushed
Agreed
At this point though I don't think our enemies will be oak stewards
I think this part of the encampment has been taken By the rogue fae Rather not get ambushed. Agreed. At this point, though, I don't think our enemies will be oak stewards.
I think this part of the encampment has been taken by the rogue fae they've aligned themselves with.
There is something strange going on here.
We haven't discovered it yet.
But answers are coming.
Go, Lucky.
All right.
I'll yell out the safe word, which is, and we've agreed upon this before,
on the count of three, Zephyr, one, two, three.
Fire.
Fire.
Perfect.
I'll yell it out when I get up there and check it out.
I'm ahead of.
That's a safe.
That's a screaming improv bit.
Fire.
Go up the stairs And I will follow
Is anybody else going?
I think we should all go
I'll lead the way then
I hate to interrupt you but we are going upstairs
Okay
I'll come too
Alright let's go to the map
Oh baby
Okay
I'm in the front so I'm assuming I'm the first one to see this All right, let's go to the map. Oh, baby! Okay.
I'm in the front, so I'm assuming I'm the first one to see this,
but it looks like difficult terrain, if I'm correct.
Or is that the canopy I'm seeing?
That's just the flavor of the beautiful map.
What you see is an open-air platform with no proper walls.
There's only this screen of leafy branches on all sides and this dense semi-dense roof of
leaves that's what you saw as you were peeking up like it looked like it was open air but there
were still some leaves creating some sort of canopy but now that you're up there you also
see the floor is this like chaotic parquet of mismatched boards, carefully fitted to allow small living branches to fill the gaps between them.
And where it's all open, you see two rope bridges,
one leading north to another hut that contains the windmill that you saw when Zephyr and Lucky were scouting.
And then another one to the west.
We're completely open.
This is not a...
Yeah.
But it's a small platform up here, which is what I was wondering.
And there doesn't seem to be anyone up here right now.
Yeah, but we're in the...
Like, if someone were to come out of the windmill building, we're in direct line of sight.
Yeah, but it doesn't matter.
Yeah.
Like, we're not trying to rest up here.
If we would like to rest, we can rest.
And it can be interrupted.
And then we'll have to fight.
Yeah.
It's no different than us just walking over there and fighting.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
So, like, we're not in such bad shape that we can't risk resting here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
And now that we know what we're looking at, like, maybe we can be down there on guard
listening for, like, the sounds of someone walking across a wooden bridge or anything
like that, just to be more aware.
Can the bridges be cut?
That's what I was thinking.
But then we have to go out into the open a little bit to do it.
Then we're trapped also.
Just asking in general, are they just attached by a rope?
Is that the only thing holding them up?
Or are they mounted into the,
is there like wood posts mounted in?
They're wood posts, but it's tied to the post.
Let's untie one of them so the bridge is unusable,
but we can reestablish it.
I don't think we risk
even showing ourselves just yet.
Or sabotaging anything.
Yeah.
Just yet.
I was just curious about,
you know,
if there was a fight up there,
what would that look like
and what are our options?
And what are our dangers?
All right,
then let's barricade
the open area.
All the junk
that was in the workshop
we'll use to barricade
to give us a little bit.
Talitha is also going to take some of that junk
and arrange it on the stairs
so that if someone were to come down
they'd either homologate
it and trip and fall and
cause hopefully massive trauma
to their internal organs and save us a battle
or we'll hear them coming.
So you're going back downstairs. You're going to take some of that
debris that was all over the floor and just
create some sort of trap so that not only can someone not get down there with ease, but if someone were to come down, you'd hear them approach.
Yeah.
You're going to home alone.
I think there is like a, we don't have any rogues in the party, but there are rogue abilities that like set traps.
Set traps, yeah.
And rangers too.
I also love the idea of like a rubber ducky On the stairs You know And they step on it
And we all wake up
Because it's like
What's the movie
A paint can comes flying
Is it Mission Impossible
What's the movie
Where he grabs the light bulb
Like with like a jacket
Mission Impossible
Untwisted
Crushes it
And then shakes
The broken light bulb
Outside the door
They actually did that
In Last of Us 2
They had glass
Where they were sleeping
And then they stepped on it
And it woke them up
Was that Last of Us 2 Or Last of Us Also Last of Us 2. They had glass where they were sleeping, and then they stepped on it, and it woke them up. Was that Last of Us 2 or Last of Us Also?
Last of Us the show.
Also.
Because you said Last of Us 2.
You mean Last of Us 2 or Last of Us Also?
I don't think you...
I followed you immediately.
You're like, no, Last of Us, the show.
Must you?
Must you?
They did that in Last of Us 2.
Stop it
I need more clarification
Is it so grammatically incorrect Matthew?
They did it in Mission Impossible 2
Stop it
I don't think I know English anymore
We're having a good time
It took me a while to understand what you were even saying
They also did that in Godfather 2
Stop it
They did
In Godfather 2 It's to make Don Panucci a light bulb. In Godfather 2.
It's to make Don Panucci.
Yeah, they did it in Godfather 2.
This is a lot of fun.
All right, so you're going to go back downstairs.
I'm just going to spread you out throughout the room here.
And as you're moving shit around, you do find some stuff.
Yeah.
Debris.
Obviously, the former
inhabitants, the Oak stewards weren't
even cool with. They set a trap that you
set off right when you walked in. They destroyed
the place. These strange
fake creatures, but as you
dig around to move stuff, you
find a set of artisan's tools
and a magnifying glass,
which would be fun. Oh, that should be
for Talitha. Fun for you.
Wow, cool.
Get some art of that.
Classic.
What does it do?
Does it give me a bonus of perception checks?
When you look at things, it magnifies.
It makes them appear bigger than they are.
So much, my hatred.
That was like my naked gun response.
Magnifying glass, what does it do?
It makes things larger when you look at them.
Does anyone want the artisan tools?
Hospital, what is it? It's like building when you look at them. Does anyone want the artisan tools? Hospital?
What is it?
It's like building with patients.
That's not important right now.
I don't need
artisan tools.
Maybe we could sell them
or something?
Artisan tools are fun
like if you want to do crafting
in all the copious downtime
that you want.
Does anyone...
A magnifying glass
is a level three item
worth 40 gold pieces.
Oh, man.
What does it do?
It's a magnifying glass. It makes things bigger. Why is it worth 40 gold pieces. Wow. What does it do? It's a magnifying glass.
Why is it worth 40 gold?
It should give you a plus to investigation.
It gives you a plus one item bonus
to perception checks to notice minute details
of documents, fabrics, and the like.
It's great for you.
I love you just like walking around with it
up to your face.
Does anyone have crafting?
Yeah.
You do?
No, I was
agreeing. Like, yeah.
Again.
I don't know English.
I said yeah, meaning
I also want to ask that question.
Doing my best.
I have crafting, too.
You have crafting, too.
The craftening.
We're all the same against English.
What is going on?
I don't have anything in crafting, and we should sell those tools.
All right.
Okay.
No one is trained in crafting in the park?
I have, like, one point in it because of things.
I am trained in crafting.
Oh, great.
Oh.
Well, then you should keep it.
Artists with tools are important if you ever want to craft.
Oh, Talitha gets everything.
Yeah.
You can have them if you want.
No, I don't want them.
I could teach you to craft things if you want. No, I don't want them. I could teach you to craft things if you want.
No, no.
Lucky it's no trouble, really.
I would be honored.
Maybe perhaps another time.
We're very busy right now, and there's not the time to discuss that.
I sense there's some unresolved something about crafting we'll unpack later.
Damn, she's good crafting trauma
my investigatory prowess allows me to see through
she's got her magnifying glass
and she's like I got you
looking at your face
killed by a crafter
I'm gonna go over there
and lay down
so is that the plan?
full on rest I can keep watch I'm going to go over there and lay down. So is that the plan? Yeah, we're going to hole up and...
Full on rest.
Full on rest.
I can keep watch.
I don't...
I'm back up to full,
and if you need to recharge spells and stuff,
I don't really need to rest.
Cats don't sleep.
If you don't mind, I'd like to...
They just nap.
It's true.
Google it.
Only 18 hours a day.
All right, so full...
By the way, Pat McGrath, our artist friend,
who used to be at Marvel, did our original logo,
and our new logo reminded me that I'm ashamed
that I didn't remember this myself.
Lucky was the name of the family cat in the show Alf.
Oh.
I'm ashamed you didn't know that either.
Yeah.
And Alf...
Had to eat it, right?
He always tried to eat it.
Yeah, there was actually a running sort of? He always tried to eat it. All the time. Yeah.
There was actually a running sort of gag where he tried to microwave the cat,
tried to trap the cat in the microwave and cook it,
and they stopped doing it because a lot of kids were replicating that behavior.
Oh, my God.
Geez.
That was Alf's one bugaboo.
He really.
A little hitch there.
Always wanted to eat.
He was a nice guy otherwise.
Violence.
He always tried to eat the family cat.
Wanted to eat cats.
All right, so full rest.
This is our first legit rest?
I don't know.
Right?
Can't be.
It's been multiple days.
There are some noted rests.
And we've had horrible combats.
Okay.
I think this is our first in-dungeon crawl rest.
Right, okay.
So you're going to rest.
Well, yeah. Our first, likedungeon crawl rest. Right, okay. So you're going to rest. Well, yeah.
Our first, like, we need to set a watch, and it's dangerous, and we're in enemy territory.
Let's talk about rest.
You get all your spells and focus points back.
Any powers that are X amount a day, powers come back.
But let's talk, how does hit point recovery work in a normal rest?
I don't know.
does hit point recovery work in a normal rest?
I don't know. But I believe
it's you get half your level
plus your con modifier, I believe
in HP back, something like that. Half your level.
Or maybe your level plus your con modifier. I don't remember.
Half your level rounded down, probably.
Plus your con. Rest and daily
preparations. Hit points equal
to your constitution modifier, minimum
one multiplied by your level.
Multiplied by your level. So we'll get one hit point back.
Yep, one hit point.
There we go.
That's really not a lot.
Thank you, Demiplay.
I might need to run another medicine check on myself before we go to bed.
Yeah, you might want to burn.
That's why I asked.
You might want to burn some more checks if you're only going to get one.
Well, actually, and I get it.
Sleeping in armor results in poor rest that leaves you fatigued.
Shut up, Joe.
Is everyone taking off their armor?
Shut your mouth, Joe.
I'm keeping watch.
And then if you get attacked at night, you have to hastily don it.
That's the whole thing.
Yes.
If you do not rest, you can only go...
If you do 16 consecutive hours without rest, you become fatigued.
And you cannot recover it until you rest.
Well, I will rest at one point.
Like, we're going to keep, like, watch.
Yeah, we're switching.
I think there's a table for, like,
number of people versus number
of hours. So, for five...
How you do the watch, we don't have to figure it out here.
No, for five people, I mean, it says it. There's a table.
You have it. You have the table up? Yeah. Oh, great.
There's a table for that. For five people, the total time is
ten hours, and the duration of each watch is two hours.
They just divide it by the person, so.
So ten hours we're going to hole up in this place.
Either before we go to bed or on a watch,
Talitha wants to talk to Buggles real quick, privately.
Maybe we pair up for the, so like, we switch off, you guys switch off.
All right, so maybe it's after Buggles is finishing his watch,
you're relieving Buggles, and before he goes to rest, what do you say?
I come over and just shake you awake.
Sorry, wake up.
Thank you, Buggles.
It's time for your watch.
Oh, Buggles, you saved my life.
I felt you in my my head
as I
when I was unconscious
oh yes
I
sorry
no don't be sorry
you saved my life
well it was unintended
well I just
I felt you were hurt
and I
just sort of
reached out
it's something that's been happening
you
I'm very grateful. I was
very hurt. It worked.
It made you feel better.
It made me feel much better, Douglas. Thank you.
That's good.
When you were in there, in my
head,
did you know
what I was thinking? Did you know my thoughts?
Did you see it? Oh, no, no, no.
I wouldn't dream.
That's not something that... No. I wouldn't dream. I don't. That's not something that...
No. I wouldn't even if I could
and I can't.
Well, if you
do ever, if it does happen that you do
hear what
I might be thinking or not thinking about,
I hope you
would come to me
first
before saying anything
you were thinking about my ears
weren't you
they look like a freak
you do not look like a freak
that's why you didn't want me to go in there
no Buggles I told you I'm extremely grateful
for what you did I promise you
never would I ever try to say anything
other than that
in fact I think
your ears are beautiful. Well,
wherever they are,
I'm sure they are.
Thank you.
Good rest, Buggles.
Oh my god. Wait, does Buggles
have no ears? They got chopped
off. I thought he had little
Yeah, I thought they like cut them
They cut them off
They're off
They're not clipped, they're all separate
Ah, I see
This changes my idea of what Buggles looks like
Yeah, that's why he's got the hood
I see, I see, okay
It must be horrifying
Yeah, he's not as cute
No, he's adorable
He's adorable
He's a monster
And we need to kill him
I'm a freak
I need to kill him I'm a freak You're's a monster, and we need to kill him. I'm afraid. I need to kill him.
I'm a freak.
You're not a freak, but you're a most valued party member.
I'm glad you feel better.
I don't know how it works, but I'm glad it did.
It worked very well.
Anyway, I'll take my watch.
Thank you.
Have a good watch.
So you. Bye. I just did'll take my watch. Have a good watch. So you.
Bye.
Just did your voice to you. Bye.
That's rude. Bye.
Bye-bye. Are there any other fun conversations that happen, or do you
guys just wake up? Maybe me and Zephyr
do a cool high-five when we switch off, because
we have a handshake.
How does that give me a...
You guys have a secret handshake already?
So it's like we walk by.
It's when we're walking by each other.
Yeah.
And we're doing like a...
And then back down.
Classic.
And then like a...
Oh, there's more.
You got all that, right?
Yeah.
It's like a bounce, back down.
For the listeners,
it's a bounce, bounce, back down.
One more.
Back, hand, snap, pointer. Finger gun.
Shoot you in the face.
Yeah. And then we're just going to add
onto it as we go. Yeah, eventually it's like,
pretend to shoot me, and I'm like, oh. It's already pretty
complex. It's going to become a long thing. It's going to
beat up time of rest.
By the way, along these lines, I have
fun new drops for your guys' characters if you do something cool. Oh. By the way, along these lines, I have fun new drops for your
guys' characters if you do
something cool. Was the handshake not
what that was cool?
Not quite. But I have
drops for you two and
for me, and then I
still have to think of something for you two.
You've got some time with Matthew and Joe.
They're like sounds that remind you of our
characters, or are they like made
for our characters? They're very specific
to both of your characters. Either way
I think what he's getting at
is everything you just did
was not cool. No because they did it
it was cool but if you ever do anything cool
he has something. They did it simultaneously
I can't play both drops at once
it'll be chaos. That makes sense.
If you individually do something cool, you'll hear it.
After over a decade of knowing Skid,
I think I know what the drops are,
and I'm not going to say them.
Write it down on a piece of paper.
I think you do know what one of them is.
Wait, but is it for the character, or is it for us?
For the character.
Okay, okay.
I think I know what one of them is.
I know exactly what they are,
and I'm very excited that they're entering the show.
It's sex and candy, right? It is. I know exactly what they are. And I'm very excited that they're entering the show. It's Sex and Candy,
right? It is.
I do have that, too. There's a high five.
I smell sex and candy.
And then you wake up.
What is the plan?
I had the weirdest day.
Awoken by the odor of sex and candy.
I had the weirdest dream.
Did anyone dream about sex and candy?
Buggles ears.
Wait, what?
What?
What?
What?
Who?
What?
Have you seen them?
Where are they?
So nothing happened.
Nothing happened.
We didn't hear anything, any of the watches.
Nobody heard people moving, voices in the distance.
Nothing on the stairs.
No lights.
No creeks of bridges being walked across or anything. Sirens.
Those of you on watch. Screams.
Ambulance. Ambulance coming.
Unicorns. Helicopter.
At one point there was like a recycling
truck downstairs for like 40 minutes
and a street sweeper.
Those of you who were on watch,
like you would hear sounds throughout the night.
You would hear animal sounds.
You'd hear the wind from time to time.
Maybe sounds of walking above you.
But none of you would have dared to venture to take a look by yourself.
So we did hear footsteps.
Yeah, maybe.
But it's unclear.
Certainly not like that was definitely a footstep.
Like creaking of boards.
Is it just the hut settling?
Or is it people?
Death.
Is it certain death?
This would not be a restful time.
This would not be the most particularly serene environment to rest in.
Yeah.
No, sometimes I try to think about what it would be like.
Surely I would be exhausted from the battle, and that would help.
But if I was feeling pretty good, how would I sleep?
This room is a mess.
You'd have to trust the others.
You'd have to trust whoever it was that was on watch.
Well, everyone.
You'd have to trust everyone else to maintain their watch and do their job.
Which I think we do.
I do.
Working with each other.
I also think it's a matter of experience and repetition.
So I could see why you'd struggle now.
But an adventurer that is you know
level three level four that's been doing this for a while like your body would train to you could
sleep with like people dying near you know it's just like in you know the war something soldier
at war i was right exactly professor in college who was a former royal marine he had fought in
the in the fog he was talking about the odys And he was like, see, it always seems weird, doesn't it?
How whenever you read this, like something when in these moments of like great risk,
somebody will just fall asleep and bad things will happen.
And he was like, but my experience of being a soldier was that like you just if there is sleep available, you get it.
You take it.
But think about it.
We're like in an actively dangerous situation in this like torn apart workshop trying
to get eight hours of rest yeah also i like to imagine now playing this cat folk that maybe
lucky has an easier time sleeping like she just curls up in like the smallest spot available and
like a bunch of shoes you know it doesn't bother her at all a pile of shoes six foot cat curled up
it's amazing let's talk about your options right now, because you do have three from what I see.
You've got the stairs leading up.
You've done a little recon on the upstairs situation.
It's very open up there.
Pros and cons to that.
You've got this door to the north that leads to a bridge leading to another hut.
And then back at the guard station, there was a rope bridge leading west
to a single door.
I don't remember if you've explored that
area or not. They specifically wanted
us not to. Yeah, they said it was locked off.
Don't go that way. Locked off or whatever, yeah.
So those
are your three options as far as
you can see.
Door to the north?
Door to the north!
Door to the north! Door to the north!
Door to the north! Let's do it.
Yeah, I feel like, yes.
Okay. Yeah, we'll go ahead that way.
Alright, we'll unbar the door
and I'll listen at the door?
Sure.
And I... 14.
There's a wind machine behind the door. There's a wind machine behind the door.
There's a wind machine behind the door.
Or just a guy doing that.
He's just standing like...
Fucking idiots.
Now do ocean waves.
He grabs a sheet of paper and just crinkles it up.
He's got a whole foley box.
A sheet of metal.
He's making thunder.
Let's open the door and kill him.
Open the door.
Let's open the door and be prepared to kill the man with foley locks.
Slowly.
Lucky sneakily opens the door.
Safely.
And she says,
It's the bridge.
Like we knew, because we saw it from above.
I'm going to slowly walk on the bridge.
Does it seem to be holding my weight well?
Is it?
Yeah, it creaks.
Slowly, sneakily, stealthily.
Slowly, slow.
I'm looking around outside on the bridge
to make sure nothing's looking back at us if I can see.
Yeah, what do you see?
Yeah, do we see anything?
It's just out in the open air and you can see this.
You're in the trees, so you see branches with leaves that you could reach out and touch.
Not thick enough to walk on, maybe in the distance thicker ones that you could crouching tiger, hidden dragon on.
But you are in the trees.
We're kind of covered.
Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, you don in the trees. We're like kind of covered. Oh yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, you don't have to worry so much
from death from above.
All right, so there's another door.
Lucky's gonna listen at this next door.
Reception.
A nat 20 for a 25.
Nat 20 for a 25.
Nathaniel 20.
I don't know how we haven't arrived at that much, much earlier.
What the hell? Not 20.
That's my fault.
I blame myself.
I blame myself.
You hear a
sound like broken
glass.
Someone's stepping on the broken
light bulb. Oh, a broken light bulb.
From Godfather 2. From the wrong way. They also set up a broken light bulb. Oh, the broken light bulb. From Godfather 2.
From the wrong way.
They also set up a broken light bulb.
Yeah, no, it sounds like glass just fell and shattered on the ground.
Okay, I make the motion to everybody behind me.
There's something in there.
I'm going to open the door.
Is everyone ready?
I'm ready.
I ready my bow pointing at the door.
Okay.
Ready.
Lucky is going to open the door. at the door. Okay. Ready. Lucky's going to open the door.
Open the door.
Okay.
You open the door.
Oh.
And you see a room and a couple creatures.
The first thing you notice when you open the door is you are hit by like a wave of heat.
Like the room beyond this bridge is hot
and that heat comes out at you.
It looks like a kitchen, like a large kitchen,
but it's swelteringly hot in there
and you can see to the north a roaring iron stove
that's like giving off all of this heat.
You would think there are burst open bags,
shattered jars, copious amounts of
crumbs and food scraps all over the floor and tables. There's a door leading further west,
so you can tell this hut is split in at least two, if not more. And there are these two
fairy-looking creatures with bumblebee heads, and they're just grabbing food stuff,
and they're vomiting on the food to turn it into mush
and then they have these long little
proboscises that are then sucking
up the food
one of them pulls out what looks like
a piece of chocolate cake and just like
turns it into mush
not the cake
David Cronenberg was directing
the tiny AP I'll show you what they look like so you get a good Not the cake And uh David Cronenberg Was directing Yes Oh my gosh
They're tiny
Look here
I'll show you
What they look like
Um
So you get a good
Good view
Oh
Oh
That's not as hideous
As I thought it would be
They're kind of fun
They're quite pretty
They're holding cupcakes
That one has a couple cupcakes
This one looks sad
Like he's upset about
Doing this horrible
Horrible stuff
To these beautiful
Delicious treats
You open the You open the door And they're eating this cake and the other one says,
You're not supposed to be here.
Roll for initiative.
Roll for initiative.
All right.
We are in it.
But are we in it to win it?
What did you get?
Lucky.
28.
28.
Lucky.
What's that?
Not 20?
No, because we use our perception, right?
Yeah, 13.
All right, 13, yeah.
Oh, wait.
Oh, my God.
I did the math wrong.
Yeah.
I was going to say.
That's a 16.
28.
I like tried to find the non-rude
way to ask you.
I don't know.
I was dying.
I was getting confused
with our other game. I don't know what my
I just had a major brain fart.
I think I was reading my other stuff on my
sheet and my brain just went 28.
I don't know why I said that.
I have no faith in any number you ever give me.
No, no, no.
That one was weird.
I was looking ahead for my attacks and stuff, and I just totally said 28.
28?
Sorry.
It wasn't like, this is a completely different number.
But you roll a natural 20, just go, nope.
Then we should talk.
We should talk.
As soon as I was like, no, I was like, that's not, that's impossible.
I can't possibly roll that.
Talitha, what did you get?
18.
Ah, not a 28.
Not a 28.
Okay.
A cap and a casa, 28.
Because you use real math.
I think we should all get 28.
Four.
Four. Brother R get 28. Four. Four.
Brother Ramius.
25.
28.
Five.
Might as well be.
Zephyr.
A nine, even though I readied my bow.
So do I get anything special for that?
Your bow is out.
Yep.
And I had it trained on the door as she was opening it.
Yep.
So you don't have to use an action to pull that bow out.
That's what you get in 2E.
You save that action, which is huge!
The more we play 2E,
every single action is huge.
It doesn't feel huge. I would say we all had
our weapons out.
Those who said they did, do. I'm sure you
did. You don't know. You're expecting danger. Yes.
I'm not gonna... You wield two weapons.
There's no feasible way to hold two weapons and open a door. You can't know. You're expecting danger. Yes, I'm not going to. You wield two weapons. There's no feasible way to hold two weapons and open a door.
You can't start that.
You cannot do that.
If you're dexterous and you can maybe just hold it between your two fingers and then you open with your other fingers.
Joe is holding two glasses of beer and approaches a door and he's like, fuck.
Well.
As someone who does that a lot.
There's no possible. It is tough to open a door. You get there and you're like. As someone who does that a lot. There's no possible.
It is tough to open a door.
Yeah, you get there and you're like.
Elbow.
What have I done?
Elbow, elbow.
When I'm heading down into my office at home,
there's also like a child lock on that door
when I have multiple beers.
It's nearly impossible.
You just simply have to chug a beer,
then you open the door.
It's like, well, I guess I'm not working today.
All right, so it's round one
and it's Brother Ramius' turn.
Ah, man, these things.
I have no idea what to do.
And you're far away.
Yeah, I'm far away.
I'm going to delay.
You're going to delay.
I want to see what these things are all about.
Okay, well, it is.
The rolls you do roll well are wasted on you.
Dude, I'm a cleric, And I'm not going to just start
blasting these sweet little animals out of the air.
Did you see the art? You could talk to them.
I'm just a simple cleric.
But I'm so far back. She's up in the front.
I'm going to follow
Lucky's lead.
It is one of the bee creatures'
turns. For his first action, it just
takes that chocolate cake that it has
in his hand and it's like,
and it just like takes that chocolate cake that has his hands like and it uh just goes crazy and it activates an ability known as that's what i usually sugar rush um oh that's amazing yes so
uh it will i smell sex and There it is. There it is. I knew it would come back. So that will make it quickened for a certain amount of time,
giving it an additional use of the stride or fly action.
And so now this little thing is going to fly towards Lucky.
That's cool.
That's cool. It flies
about 20-25 feet or so
up and then it
is going to like raise
its abdomen up at you
and just like fire off a stinger.
What?
Ugh.
And that is going to be a 16 to hit.
Miss. Misses
with the stinger. Huge.
Tries to do it again.
Bah!
And misses again.
And then it actually has one more action.
Oh, no, because it used Sugar Rush.
All right, so that's what that one does.
And then, as luck would have it...
What is it, a quicken?
It is quicken, but I used the Sugar Rush ability.
Oh, yeah.
Used my free fly.
Attack, attack.
That's four.
The other one, it's its turn.
I'm going to go. gonna Go yeah so as soon as that thing flies up and
Attacks with a stinger
Brother Ramius just angrily
He's just so mad these
Creatures are attacking us without even so much
Of a conversation he steps out from
Behind Zephyr and
He's going to cast this spell
His hands begin glowing white as he shoots
A divine lance Across at this thing.
You stay back from her!
And he fires off a lance.
18 to hit?
18 to hit this poor little creature is a hit.
Okay, so this is holy damage.
Do what you will with it.
Holy damage!
Holy damage!
Five points of holy damage.
Five points of holy damage. Five points of holy damage.
Does it seem to affect the creature?
It does.
Okay.
All right.
Well, that makes him feel.
That makes us all feel better about this fight.
Yeah, exactly.
So that's it.
That's his turn.
It says, I'll glaze your scones.
What did you say?
He moved up and cast that spell
That's his round
Did you mean to move on to Talitha Square?
I did not see your pun there at all
It wasn't there when I moved
It was
In that case
Make sure that you gave it cover
Did you give it a plus one to AC?
Did an 18 still hit?
An 18 would still hit.
Okay.
Then having an extra action, he will cast Guidance on Lucky so you can get a plus one.
Oh, okay.
So you've got eyes on it from there where you're standing?
Yeah.
I mean, I can't see the creature, but...
Oh, it did not...
Oh, yes, I can.
I'm sorry.
I thought it melee attacked her.
I didn't realize that it was ranged.
Right.
But I do see the creature.
If you can see the creature, then yeah, Foundry keeps us honest.
Okay.
It is the other one's turn now.
And it is going to go.
It says, ah, butter your muffin.
And it, strange... Strange creatures.
These creatures are so weird.
It's also going to use that sugar rush.
On a fucking cupcake.
And then it will fly up and send a stinger at Lucky again.
Same thing.
That's going to be a 27 to hit.
Well, yes.
All right, Lucky, you were up front there.
So this is going to be very interesting.
It's going to hurt.
It's going to hit you for one point of poison damage.
Oh, boy.
Okay.
And then it's going to try it again.
17 to hit.
Miss. Miss. And then I'm just going to try one again. 17 to hit. Miss.
Miss.
And then I'm just going to try one more time.
Oh, no, because you should.
You can't, yeah.
Same thing.
All right.
Now it is Talitha's turn.
Okay.
Talitha is going to devise a stratagem against the bee dude in the lead.
It's a bee lady?
Bee lady.
I'll ice your donuts.
It says to you Okay
And Letha will
Not attack
So what made you
You were looking at it and you thought better
What do you think you saw
Maybe it was the way they
Motorboated that chocolate cake
She's gonna be saying
It's very disturbing Yeah really made you think twice Maybe it was the way they motorboated that chocolate cake. She's going to be saying, not today.
It's very disturbing.
Yeah, it really made you think twice.
Not today, Satan.
So instead I will do...
Not today, Satan.
I will instead try to...
I'll try to recall knowledge to identify the creature.
Ah, okay.
That's going to be nature, most likely.
Natural 20.
Oh, how about that?
24. These are creatures known as Malix 20. There we go.
These are creatures known as Malixies.
Malixies. It's a fun little play on the word pixie.
I think
Melissa...
I know Melissa is like Greek for honeybee.
Oh, okay. So I'm sure it's Melissa and Pixie
in there. A honey pixie.
A honey pixie.
Alright, so you know sure it's Melissa and Pixie in there. A honey Pixie. A honey Pixie. Honey Pixie.
All right, so you know about their sugar rush ability.
Here's one thing I'll give you about that.
When that ability ends, they're going to be fatigued for a minute.
And it lasts only a number of rounds.
So there's a chance that they could, after doing that, start to feel like we all feel.
A bit of a sugar crash after housing a cake and a cupcake.
Just wait for them to die of diabetes.
We could just back off.
I mean, I'm only like 10% joking.
We could close the door.
Yeah, and then wait.
And see if we can delay their delay and let their sugar rush ability.
I'm just looking at Lucky.
Lucky makes that call.
Lucky loves a good door close.
Talitha could call out as a strategy. I mean, you could say
close the door and Lucky would listen.
Their ability to move faster and quicker will
end after a few seconds. Close the door.
It might delay them.
I do love closing doors.
I know you do.
Maybe I will.
I'll give you one more bit of information.
They are spellcasters.
They are primal spellcasters, but you don't think that they use those spells offensively.
Ah, okay.
Interesting.
Okay.
And then with my third action, I will, I'll move up, I'll move up onto the bridge.
I'll move up I'll move up onto the bridge
Just to
Behind Lucky just to kind of give us
A little
Is that going to get in the way
Of anybody's action should I stay back
If she shuts the door then I don't care
That y'all are in front of me
Yeah if that's our real plan I will shut the door
Otherwise I can't shoot through you guys
Yeah but Zephyr could also get a shot
I'm already going to be at a penalty For being so close to the beam I will shut the door. Otherwise, I can't shoot through you guys. Yeah, but Zephyr could also get a shot. You get a shot.
All right.
I'm already going to be at a penalty for being so close to the beam.
You're right.
I would take Zephyr's bow into account, so I will stay where I am.
Okay.
Then it goes to Lucky's turn.
So, Lucky, you decide what you want to do here.
Yeah, I can delay so you can get a pop off, and then I'll jump back in to shut the door.
Oh, that's fun.
Yeah.
Great.
You can get multiple pops off.
Yeah.
Pops. Pop. Pop, pop.
Pop, pop.
All right, so Lucky's going to delay.
Was that cool?
That was very cool.
You know, crouches and just goes,
take your shots, Eva.
So you're using the crouch action?
Whoa, that's so cool.
All right.
I'm not taking it.
Down one action.
Lucky takes the crouch action.
No, I'm delayed.
Then there's the pop-up action.
I'm delayed.
So that's your turn.
I'm delayed. You can't double strike, but you can do one there's the pop-up action. So that's your turn. I'm delayed.
You can't double strike, but you can do one swing.
My pop-pop is the blurry of...
The blurry of flows.
The blurry of flows.
The blurry of flows.
My stutter is very
bad today.
The blurry of flows.
Alright, so then you're delaying right after?
You sure are, so it is Zephyr's turn.
Sick.
All right.
Sick.
Light it up.
I'm going to do...
They're going to get a little bonus for the cover that Lucky's in the way.
Yeah, and then I'm also within my volley range,
which puts me at a negative two also.
Okay.
So I was thinking of using my ki strike so I get a plus one,
but with all the negatives, I don't think it's worth it.
I'm just going to go for...
Yeah, I think do it and then we'll
delay and we get some time. Flurry of
blows. I get a negative
two. Just from the volley, what
negative do I get from...
They get a plus one to
their AC. Alright, so negative three
altogether. Sounds like you're playing World of Warcraft.
I get a plus two with my
key strike and a minus
one with my...
If only Lucky were like four feet tall.
Oh my god.
Then it really wouldn't have been a problem.
So, first...
That's going to be a miss.
It's going to be an eight to hit.
Yeah, that's a miss.
Fum!
Flies to the back wall.
Ow!
Ooh, natural 20 on the second one.
Oh!
Oh yeah, dude!
Worth it!
Fly away, all you birds of course!
Wow!
Of course!
Now you can start thinking about what Sydney's doing.
That was the one I guess.
I have no idea.
I have a guess for Sydney's.
All right, so 1d8.
Nah, fudge your brownies!
Ooh, that's seven points of damage.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Didn't you crit?
Oh, shit. Yeah. On't you crit? Oh, shit.
Yeah.
On Earth.
Hold on to that seven.
We'll use that as your roll, assuming that it provides damage.
You're assuming the critical hit provides damage.
This one from James in Boise, Idaho.
Hello, James.
James, James.
Oh, James.
Can I call you Jimmy?
This one is my Jar or My Tube.
Oh, wow.
That's from Mork Borg.
Yeah, that's from Mork Borg.
That's right.
And the tube.
Which was like all of us except Matthew.
My Jar or My Tube.
That's right.
I had all these cool books you got for free that I would love to have read or played.
Beautiful books.
Beautiful books.
I threw out at least four copies.
I could have given you...
I didn't know you
wanted one. Alright.
My jar or my tube. Double
damage. The target must then make a
reflex save. If they fail,
you're able to shoot with such precision that the target
drops their weapon. If they aren't
holding a weapon, you deal triple
damage. Oh! If they fail the reflex save I kick! you deal triple damage. Oh!
If they fail to reflex it.
You kill it in one shot.
Yes!
Oh, it's so cool!
So she misses the first one,
but that second one,
right in that little butthole thing
that it shot the...
Oh, my God!
You can't run into a butthole!
Right in the butthole.
Yeah!
You shot it right in the butthole!
Right in the stinger hole.
Right through its butthole? Right through. Right in the buttholeinger hole Right through its butthole?
Right through
Are you in the proboscis?
Is that what it's all about?
No, the stinger
The stinger hole
The stinger hole
Right through its
Presumes that there's a butthole
At the end of the stair
And she pierced it
Perfectly
A head is way too protectable
Yeah
Like a headshot
Bees have a cloaca type situation
Where they sting and poop
And piss off
of the same hole. It's canon.
As it goes down.
Are you okay?
I'm crying.
You're in a strange mood today.
Today?
As it falls with an arrow
directly in its stinger hole,
the other one says, Cinnamon!
Oh.
I feel bad again
Cinnamon
I'll finger your blueberry pie
They're getting weirder
They're getting weirder
Little Jack Horner does
His thumb
I'll thumb your blueberry pie
It just doesn't work
Are you going to shut the door?
The book suggests a bunch of things
I'm just taking some creative liberties
Is it my turn now? All it had was glazier scones Are you going to shut the door? The book suggests a bunch of things. I'm just taking some creative liberties.
Is it my turn now?
All it had was glazier scones.
Now, wait, no.
Are you done with actions?
That was just one action, so I can't see the other one from where I am.
But you could stride up and jawn them.
Up to you.
Up to you.
I feel like I don't want to take too many liberties here, even though I did just crit.
You know?
What?
You guys are looking at me like I should stride up and be like... What do you think you do in this moment?
What does that bird do?
After she takes out the first one, can't see the next one, what does she do?
If I know there's only two in there, maybe we can just be like, stand down, sugar.
Cinnamon and sugar.
Well, that'd be fun if that's what their names were.
Cinnamon and...
Stand down, sugar. Stand't know Cinnamon and Stand down sugar
Stand down sugar
Stand down
Spice
It's over spice
It's over spice
Stand down pumpkin spice
What did you call me
Pumpkin spice
Um
You want a free action
Yell out
I mean whatever you want to do
I'm delaying until you tell me
Yeah I'll yell out
Sugar was my son
Who died in Vietnam
I'll yell out
How dare you say his name
You seem to have angered the bee fairy.
We're not here to fight you.
You can stand down.
You just shot at your own bee hole.
Were they poop and pee?
I'll stuff your muffins.
If it keeps talking shit,
and then I'll let Lucky,
if you can see both of them,
decide what to do,
shut the door or not.
All right, so you're done.
I'll delay the rest of my actions.
Can't do that.
Yes, it's fine.
All right, I'm done.
You're done.
All right.
All right.
So does the other one seem like it's still very angry?
Yes.
It's mad.
You just killed Cinnamon.
All right.
Lucky says, see you, sucka.
And then she just closes the door.
You let us know when you're calmed down.
Shadoonk.
You let us know when you're over your tantrum.
And I close the door.
When you're ready to talk like an adult.
Yeah.
When you're ready to discuss like an adult, you can come out.
All right.
Any other actions you want to take?
Because that's only one action.
No.
Okay.
I'm just having my weapon.
Just like hold the door.
You could ready an action.
Yeah, I guess, you know what?
I'll then use my extra two to ready. Should the door open up you'll attack i will immediately attack okay
uh buggles uh buggles is going to i guess you know i'm gonna say like under any normal
circumstance from here on forward if when we're waking up like
at the beginning of the day I'm going to cast mage armor
I didn't say it this time
I'm going to cast mage armor
what's the burning wheel
what do they call it?
instincts, like things you always do
how does mage armor work?
is it like a set time or is it
all day, until I do
your next preparation.
That's great.
Yeah.
Playing a lot of Baldur's Gate three.
And like,
I have to like after every rest,
make sure that I cast mage armor on all my spell casters.
Otherwise they're squishy.
Yeah.
Vulnerable.
All right.
So you're going to cast mage armor.
Cast mage armor.
And then I'm going to move into position to hopefully see anyone that comes out that door.
Okay.
Yes.
And that is the end of round one.
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So when I get home and I'm finished recovery, I'm like, I got to clean this up.
Well, luckily, I had this amazing Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra.
I'm like, let's go.
Went to town.
And then, you know, once I was finished, I was like, maybe I'll see what else this bad boy can do.
And all I'm going to say is, if you think AI is cool, this is the greatest technological advancement the world has seen in the past decade.
In addition to getting the Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra, you're also going to get the Weed Whacker 2.0 ear and nose hair trimmer.
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Clean that shit up.
Do you look in the mirror?
You're also going to get the Crop Preserver Ball Deodorant.
If you're a man, it probably stinks down there.
Go ask somebody to smell your balls.
I bet they stink.
You also want to keep that looking nice with the Crop Soother Toner
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Spoiler alert, there is!
Round two, it would be the bee creature's turn.
Perhaps their name is Sugar Senior.
Because we now know that Sugar Junior died in Vietnam.
But the bee, you don't know what it's doing back there.
You can't see, right?
No, door's closed. Door's closed, you can't see anything. Isn't that there You can't see, right? No, door's closed
You can't see anything, isn't that great though?
You get to still see
I think I know what it looks like
And I never saw it, so I can't see it
Even though it's more limiting as a player
I love the immersion of this
It's like, I don't know
I never saw it
You could describe it to me, but I don't know
You would on your train have to be. You could describe it to me, but I don't know. You would, on your turn, have to be like,
Lucky, how far is it to the...
Yeah, I love it.
Last episode, I had to use an extra move action
just to see someone that I didn't think I'd have to use
because I thought I knew where they were.
Yeah.
And I moved, and I thought I would have known that ahead of time.
I would have done something different with my round.
But maybe you shouldn't have that knowledge, right?
Play it as real to the character in that moment.
I love it.
Anything like that simulation, yeah.
Increases the immersion like that.
I love it, so.
Yeah, it's fantastic.
All right, so you don't know what's going on back there,
so then it goes right to Brother Ramius' turn.
He will delay.
He will delay.
He's just watching that door like a hawk,
waiting to see what happens.
Talitha.
Delay.
Zephyr.
Delay. Lucky. Delay. Zephyr. Delay.
Lucky.
Delay.
Boggles.
I'm delay.
Land delay industries.
Round three would be the big creature's turn.
Again, nothing happens.
Now, you know from your knowledge thing
the sugar rush ability lasts a certain amount of rounds
and then they become fatigued. Uh, for a minute.
So you have to decide
what you want to do here. Now two rounds have passed
and no one has gone to the door.
You're the one with this knowledge. Share it
as you will. It is Brother Ramius' turn.
Delay.
Okay. Now it goes to Talitha. Delay.
Zephyr. Delay.
Lucky.
Should I kick the door open?
I mean, it's now been three rounds
Yeah the only thing I fear in Lucky's mind
Is that there's a room we haven't seen
And the bee is flying off to go tell more
And also they weren't particularly
Strong
So Lucky
Now
Lucky's gonna kick the door open
Jesus
Kick the door open And Jesus. Kick the door open, and you can see that it's flown back to the top of the room there,
and it's just like...
What a fun ability.
Monster ability.
That's really cool.
That's awesome.
Exhausted.
Who came up with the plan to do that, to shut the door?
Matthew, after the knowledge check.
Oh, right.
Bottle cap.
Yay!
Nice work.
Nice work.
All right.
What is the bottle cap economy looking like these days?
I still have my bottle cap from episode one.
My original one, I still have.
Oh, now it's Sidney.
Oh, now it's my bottle cap.
I earned the bottle cap.
Sidney's got two. Kate's got one. Joe's got one. My original bottle cap. I earned a bottle cap. Sydney's got two.
Kate's got one.
Joe's got one.
My original bottle cap.
And Skid used his.
We need like a...
Oh, yeah, we have a tool for this.
We need a craps thing.
Slide to the cross.
Please don't lean on the table.
Please don't touch the bottle caps on the table.
I now have one.
I used mine at some point in past combats.
Very, very cool.
Yeah, so now this creature is fatigued, and Lucky, you have two actions left.
Yeah, so I am going to run up to the bee.
I have enough movement, and I can't do my double slice because I used my first action on the door interact,
but I am going to single hit it with my...
What's my better one?
I'll blueberry your muffin.
My copesh.
I'm going to swing and try to hit it with my copesh.
I'll raspberry your turnover.
That was a natural two.
So that's an eleven
to hit.
Nice try, cupcake.
And Lucky
just growls. Wait a minute, you like cupcakes.
I'm gonna take my action. Yeah, so you like me.
Me!
So that's my turn. Alright, so now
Zephyr will go. I'll move you in the
initial.
From where I am, just because now I'm out of
volley range, I'm gonna take my
flurry of blows from here
with my bow.
Oh, and you actually can see the creature.
I can see the creature. It's going to get a plus one to its
AC.
Sorry. Zephyr, you
stepped up to there and
attacked, right? Yeah. One thing I
forgot to mention. Oh. As you stepped
on that space adjacent
to the stove.
No. Something stove. No.
Something happens.
I didn't step there. I stepped somewhere different, actually.
Wouldn't that be nice?
The stove explodes.
Whoa.
Oh, no.
It'd be a reflex save.
What? The actual hell.
Now we get to test the freeze. Cat-like reflexes.
No, no, no.
Okay. I rolled a naturales. No, no, no. Okay.
I rolled a natural one.
Oh, no!
But, but, I have
cat's luck.
I took this feat. You fail a reflex saving
throw, you instinctively twist away from
danger, you can re-roll the triggering
saving throw. Awesome. Hell yeah.
Cat-like reflexes.
I'm gonna use my Norse foundry
this beautiful ebony. I hear you're shaking in your voice. I can heares. I like reflexes. Reflexes. I'm going to use my Norse foundry, this beautiful ebony.
I hear you're shaking in your voice.
I can hear you.
No.
Natural 17.
Hell yeah.
Plus what?
48.
Plus seven.
So a 20.
So 48.
So a 28.
Yeah.
24.
24.
All right.
That is a success.
So you will take half damage From 2d10 plus 13
Oh my god, no
13?
2d10 plus 13
If that natural one had gone through
That's permanent
No, I know, but I'm going down no matter what
You are going down
You're going to take half damage
And I rolled
I rolled 21 So you're going to take half damage. Oh, right, right. And I rolled... Oh, right, right. I rolled 21, so you're going to take 10 points of damage.
Excuse me.
10 points of damage.
He tried.
I tried.
That would have been 42 points of damage on my particular roll.
That's unbelievable.
If you didn't have that ability, you would be dead.
You would have died.
But you had two bottle caps, too.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, you did have bottles.
Well, you kind of got to use them before you know, right?
Yeah, yeah
No, you can roll a natural one and then spend it
No, no, no
He wouldn't have told me how much damage this fucking stove
After the damage using it
I wasn't saying anything because I knew you had caps
So I was going to let you use the cap if you wanted to
Before I gave you the
Once I give you the damage, you can't be like, oh, here's a cap
This is crazy too
Because, yeah, if I was playing a different type of character,
I didn't have that feat, and I feel like that is the way that one of my characters would die.
Like, it's not an epic battle.
A stove explodes in a kitchen.
Remember when that stove exploded?
I did not see that coming.
Just like all those cats in the 80s.
And your hero died.
Also, I saved that from everybody else.
Yeah.
We could have all came into the room, and that would have happened to all of us.
Thank you, Lucky. It does
affect the fairy. The fairy takes damage.
Sick. I hope that fairy dies.
The fairy does not die.
That seems weird. Oh, I took too much damage.
That doesn't really make sense. The fairy didn't die?
I took too much damage.
No, it takes the same amount of damage that you took.
10 points of damage. Oh, because it passed its save.
What about 11 points of damage?
I'm going to give her a 10.
You take another one.
Yeah, that would have been perma-john right there.
That's what I'm telling you about this adventure slash 2E in general.
But you had caps.
Yeah, you had caps.
There was opportunity.
It is, now it's your turn, Sephiroth.
Sorry.
All right, here we go.
Flurry of blows with my bow.
Here we go.
Natural one on that first arrow.
That's a fan fumble to start.
Is it?
Do we have to?
The highs and the lows of the Kate rolls today.
Okay, this one from Max in San Diego, California.
I swear to God, Max.
Failure to launch.
You fire the bow,
but instead of striking your target,
the projectile slips from your grasp
and lands at your feet.
Oh, I thought it was going to hit now.
Yeah, I thought it was going to hit.
Yeah, that would have sucked.
Make a flat check.
Just roll a d20.
Okay.
And tell me what it says.
A six. Oh Oh that's bad
What could happen
Um you
Take half damage
From whatever like the shot would have been
So basically you shoot yourself
So that is what's happening
One d8 but half
I rolled an eight sick
Four points of damage
Max damage.
It's like Robin Hood Prince of Thieves.
I'm not a type.
Four.
Ow, fuck.
So Zephyr is getting
very irritated.
Her anger is building up.
She's trying to hold it in, but she just shot herself
in the foot and is pissed. Maybe she was
surprised about the stove exploding, but maybe she shot herself in the foot. And is pissed. Maybe she was surprised about the stove exploding.
Oh, maybe she's like, Lucky, no!
And then like...
Could you imagine fully, fully having your bow ready and shooting yourself in the foot?
You have to go to the hospital.
I say again.
Startled.
That is a blurry explosion.
All your metatarsal bones are broken.
Blurry, blurry I imagine Lucky running in
Setting off a stove
An oven explodes
And then you're facing off against this bee creature
Who can't stop gorging on sweets
And you just hear Zephyr
Quiet, reserved Zephyr
Just screaming in agony behind you
Perhaps this is the first time you hear her curse out loud, being
like, fuck, like she's getting pissed.
That could have been a lot uglier,
like if all of you stormed into the room,
that stove goes off, it affects
all of you. That's what Sydney said.
So, second flurry of blows
hit. The tank
of the team. I'm going. Okay, that's a cracked eye.
Relax, everyone, relax.
Relax.
Oh no. It's a two. So I just missed. Okay, that's a cracked die. Relax, everyone. Relax. Oh, no.
It's a two.
So I just missed.
A two on the die.
I miss.
Might be a crit.
So that's one action.
Second action, I'm coming into the room because I'm blocking everyone at this point.
So she, oops.
Let me move my thingy.
You set off a second stove explosion.
I walk up into the doorway, so now I can see everything,
and I scoot boot over to where this banquette is.
Okay, so you come in and move to the left,
over towards the southern wall where there's some cabinets
in this ramshackle kitchen.
And now it is Buggle's turn,
but Brother Ramius and Talitha have not acted yet,
so you still could jump in at any moment.
I'll defer to Talitha.
Talitha will rush in after Zephyr,
because I can't actually see where this other bee creature is,
so I will move.
Sorry, I collided with a wall.
It happens.
That has a tendency to happen.
Nice try, cheater.
All right.
I'm assuming your magnifying glass is out and not your weapon?
As always.
That's my instinct.
Yes.
My rapier is out.
Okay.
Do you like how you walk under an archway to go in?
Like your pawn is under the archway. It's cool.
Okay.
Talitha is just going to not devise a strategy this time.
She's just going to double move Up to the bee creature
And I will take a strike
Without devising a jawn
I'll bake your cake
How dare you
What bakes my cake baby
I'll cider your donut
13 to hit
Even fatigued
That is not a hit
So tired Brother Ramius will hop in 15 to hit, even fatigued. That is not a hit.
So tired.
Brother Ramius will hop in, and he's just like, lucky!
And he starts running in, seeing the explosion and the resulting horrifying damage.
Okay.
So, yeah.
He will move into the room as a one-move action.
Oh, so I hadn't seen any of this. To see where you are, you're still pretty far away across the room as a one move action. Oh, so I hadn't seen any of this.
To see where you are, you're still pretty far away across the room and
obviously hurt, but you're still up and fighting,
right? Yeah, I mean, I'm okay.
Okay, at that point, when he sees this,
he's going to
cast
his thing.
Lance? Yeah.
Divine Lance. Across at the bee and away from her. Lance? Yeah. Divine Lance. Across at the B.
Away from her.
Another natural two.
Awesome.
Guys.
And that's his round.
Rough.
Now it's Buggles' turn.
All right.
Buggles is going to run up on his little legs behind Brother Ramius.
Actually, if I can. his little legs behind brother Ramius actually if I can his little legs
on a wooden bridge
wait for me
it barely moves under his weight
oh he's so cute
and
he
okay so I
it's weird like the squares here
like I'm not I don't think I can
I
the way that the map is like I can't
stand in the middle of the bridge like I have to stand
on like either side you know
oh yeah it won't let you stand like
yeah so I can't stand on
Ramius or go past Ramius
if you want right I just want to be in a
position where like I can see
you could just what if you want. Right. I just want to be in a position where like I can see Zephyr. What if you just stand on the
table?
Well, you have to double move. Oh, there you go.
Yeah. Okay. All right. There we go.
So he sees
Zephyr and Lucky
are both hurt. He sees Lucky's been
burned.
I hurt myself.
It's all my fault.
And he says, oh no no and his eyes like flash and like this aura of fire surrounds him and each of you in turn feel buggles reaching out into your into your minds to try to help you
you each get four points of healing ah what is and do we always hear
buggles like or do we see things yeah like what does it feel like you imagine i i think like you
you sort of sense him it's like feeling him feeling him like embracing you or you know trying to like
uh kind of like when you're a kid
and, like, your parents are, like,
you fall asleep on the couch,
your parents, like, carry you up to your bed
or whatever, like, that's what it feels like.
Oh, that's so sweet.
I just, like, feel Buggle's little hands or something.
Like, I just feel, like, a little squeeze.
Yeah, virtually.
A little hug in your mind.
A little hug to my brain.
A little mind hug.
A little mind hug. A little mind hug.
All right.
It is the top of round four, and it is this Malixi's turn.
The sugar rush is over.
It's fatigued, but it doesn't want to die.
So it is going to, seeing that the cat is weak, it will attempt to just straight up sting you.
So it's just like, instead of shooting a sting at you, it tries to just launch its abdomen at your body.
And that is a 17 to hit.
Nope, miss.
It's a miss.
Nice job.
And then a 20 for the second John.
Yes.
All right, so the second one.
Wait, so is that a melee then with its stinger?
Yeah.
Oh, it's both ranged and... Does it take a map? Yes. Yeah, I so the second one. Wait, so is that a melee then with its stinger? Yeah. Oh, it's both ranged and...
Does it take a map?
Yes.
Yeah, I use the map.
Okay.
And that's going to be four points of bludgeoning damage.
Okay, well, you win some, you lose some.
You win some, you lose some.
The stinger does bludgeoning damage, not piercing damage?
Well, then it's whacking.
Whacking me?
He's like whacking it around.
Slapping it at you, yeah.
Whacking you with his b-hole?
Oh, so there's no poison associated with it right now.
No, it is.
Yeah, it's not poison.
The poison is on the range, but even then, it's just poison damage.
It's not an actual poison.
And then we'll try one more time and miss on the third attack.
And now it is Lucky's turn.
Double freaking slice.
There you go.
Screw this bee.
I'll apply powdered sugar to your beignet
What?
Don't hit me with a good time
You hit me
Not for long
And then I'm going to try to slice it down
I will lightly dust your beignet with powdered sugar
That's a 12 for the first one
I told you what I'd do to you
I distracted you It's'd do to you. I distracted you.
It's a 12 for
the second one. I'll take you to a farm and
shoot you.
All right.
Wait, wait.
That went from a bunch of cute, sugary puns
and stuff to murder.
Lucky's fighting and Lucky goes,
Wait, what?
You have a gun?
I nice your donut.
Where's the gun? Tell know it's your donut. No, no.
Where's the gun?
That's not what you said.
Tell us where the gun is.
No, no, no.
That's not what you said.
Stand back.
The bee's got a gun.
The bee's got a gun.
What is that?
I am going to try to hit it one more time with my kopesh.
Do it.
I believe in you.
Brutal. Brutal.
Brutal round.
Because it's minus, what is it, for my third attack,
if I use my double slice, does it have a full penalty?
Yeah, so it's either eight or ten.
Eight if you have agile weapons, ten if not.
Yeah, that's a miss.
Oh, brutal.
All right, everybody's got a chance here, though.
This thing's on the ropes.
To be fair, Lucky's fucked up, so.
Yeah, Lucky's, a stove just
exploded on her. Yeah. It is
Zephyr's turn. Zephyr, you got a nice clean
shot there between Talitha and Lucky.
I know, but I have a long bow.
You do, so you gotta take that
minus two for the ball.
Can't you drop it and do your short?
Its AC was not particularly high.
You could throw
scones at it. Yeah. No, he likes that.
Please don't throw scones
in my mouth. Please don't throw
me in that briar. Whatever you do, don't
throw the scones in my mouth.
Please. Wait. How do we
get on scones?
What's happening?
Drop my bow.
Move up to
flank this bee bitch.
No!
I'm a chocolate chip yolk cookie.
Old-fashioned flurry of blows with my 50-50.
Oh, there you go.
You're going to punch a bee?
I'm going to punch the shit out of this bee bitch.
Give me a bee.
No!
Whack.
Fuck, maths. 22 for that first hit. B bitch Fuck maths 22
For that first hit
Hell yeah and I actually do more damage
With my fists than with my bow
Trained martial artist
Cause you know
Max damage 9 points of damage
And punch that B in the face
And the B dies
You just like planted that foot
Still waiting for Lucky to do something cool
We've heard that song now six times
It's just like come on
One cool thing Sydney
Sorry a stove exploded on you
That's pretty cool
I was busy dealing with something.
It's not drop worthy.
What if her hair, her tail just went full puff
and her hair just stood on edge?
That's pretty cool.
That's what she looks like right now.
Too silly.
And you are out of combat with these crazy fey creatures.
More fey shit.
What do you do? I go get my bow. More fey shit. What do you do?
I go get my bow. Eat the scones.
We'll reinvestigate the scones
and they look like they're not poisoned.
They look delicious.
We have a scone.
Lucky hobbles over to the table
and sits down.
I go up to Lucky.
I can't help you, but...
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
You got...
What happened?
Are you okay?
I'm okay.
The fucking stove exploded.
So I'm on...
My feathers are fucked up.
Come here, Lucky.
I'm trying to brush your fur.
No, don't.
Okay, sorry.
May I help?
Yes, please.
Sit here for a moment.
And he pulls out his healer's tools.
He's going to treat wounds.
Kneel down.
Put your head in the stove.
No.
I need to treat something. Tick, tick, tick, and he's going to treat wounds. Kneel down. Put your head in the stove. No.
I need to treat something.
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.
It'll all be over soon.
This will make you feel better. I can maybe help.
I smell gas.
Jesus Christ.
We both failed.
Brutal.
Both failed.
Oh, man, this is rough.
Treat wounds.
I'll be all right.
I don't need it. It's really brutal. Oh, man, this is rough. Street wounds. I'll be all right. I don't need it.
I'm all right.
And she stands up and she kind of brushes the, like,
ashy fur that just comes off in, like, a clump.
She just goes, oh.
Let's keep moving.
Are you sure?
Let's investigate the room.
Take a minute.
Take a minute.
I'll sit down for a minute.
He's not going to help me, but I'll sit down.
Search the room?
Yeah, you search the room.
Give me some perception checks
And the bodies of the bees
The bees have nothing on them except cookies
Nope
I don't see anything
17 perception
I see nothing, I'm hurt
14 for Brother Ramius
Yeah, nothing of interest
An exploded stove
Foodstuffs all over the floor.
And then another door to the west.
Another door to the west.
Lucky you're sure you're able to move forward.
Unless you want to stand here for another 30 minutes
and then try again.
Do we have an hour?
Or an hour.
It's been probably...
You tried for 10 minutes, you tried for ten minutes,
I tried for ten minutes,
and then we searched the room,
so maybe more like thirty minutes?
Forty minutes.
Yes, just wait.
I believe I can help.
Just give me a little more time.
Just a half hour.
Fail.
Fail.
Let's keep going.
It's fine.
Oh, the burns there.
I cannot reach them.
I don't have the proper salve.
We have to continue
for five.
We clearly want her to die.
Let's just make it happen.
We can move on
with our lives.
Lucky just like
licks her wounds,
which is making them worse.
And she goes,
let's keep moving.
Having seen what we've seen
from Brother Ramius's past,
it is
perhaps rather fitting
that he struggles
to heal
burns. Yeah. Actually, yeah.
Maybe you're a little shaky.
His hands are a little shaky.
I don't have the proper tools.
This sort of
damage is
very difficult to heal. And you see he starts getting
twitchy. Like Sandor
Clegane? Yeah.
Every time you're trying to treat her,
you see the faces of your brothers and sisters,
like their skin melting off of them as you...
I think Lucky just puts a paw in Brother Remus's hand.
She goes,
I've been in worse scrapes.
I'll be all right.
It's okay.
Okay.
She kind of gets up.
All right.
Come on.
Are you sure you want to go in front
still? I can maybe open this
door. You need your range,
don't you? Yeah, but that
punch was pretty awesome. Wasn't that awesome?
That was pretty cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Punch to B. Why don't you
lead the way? I felt good. You lead the way
for this one and I'll back you up. Alright, I'll try
to lead this time.
So I listen at the door.
Perception check.
My magnifying glass. Just kidding.
I don't have it. Right up to your ear.
Making it harder to hear.
How does this work? You're just bragging.
You hold it up to your ear. Okay, got it.
Magnified
sound. I don't hear anything. It's a minus
two because you've created another wall
between your ear and the door.
I hear the ocean.
Maybe you see that she's not good at this.
I rolled an eight.
She cups her ear
completely wrong.
That's not how you listen.
You don't hear anything.
She just covers her ear.
Not a single sound.
Slowly, carefully open the door
to peek through. Take a little sound. Slowly, carefully open the door to peek through.
Take a little...
Take a little peek.
Gentlewoman's peek.
Take a little peek for you.
Take a little peek for you.
You see a well-stocked larder that, similar to the kitchen, has been thoroughly ransacked.
Bottles, baskets, sacks haphazardly piled around the floor.
There's another door
going out to the south, but
in the middle of the room
there is a five
foot wide wicker basket
hanging, suspended
from ropes
that lead up to a hole
in the ceiling that looks
like it leads to a room
above. Does it leads to a room above.
Does it look like a pulley system?
That's a really good question that we will find out next week.
Troy needs a week to think about that.
I haven't read that book.
Find myself some time.
Oldest trick in the book.
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