The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 100 Part 1 - Ranger Things

Episode Date: April 25, 2017

The #marchto100 concludes with the return of an old friend. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Speed. Sweat. Unless we're talking Kudo's new phone, internet, and streaming bundle. With the HappyStack, you can sit back and stack up the savings on Kudo Internet, KUDO Previously on the Glass Cannon Podcast. Sergeant Lork Irontusk. Lork. Lork. Sort of an aging ranger in the militia. So I turn to Lork and I say, how's the paper pushing?

I'm just getting old. I say, uh... Like me. If you, uh, had any courage in you, you'd be out there with me. Uh, Lork is gonna talk to the uh to the witch i'll be back i always she says rodrick no rodrick graph is dead where where where is he where is he no and the biggest one among them is holding your adopted son and he slits his throat actually sort of a lone survivor situation where like his whole platoon was killed by a fire giant.

Critical mistake. Redemption. The attack hits you and is a critical threat. Your own death. Holy shit. He puts you in, fires you 50 feet through the air. Lork's like, no! These people want to go.

I'll go with them. She says that when you were a young man, you strangled someone to death. She says this is your curse, the reason why all your loved ones and all those you protect have died. One time there was a human boy in that group who sold off where our food stores were to another gang

and they took everything we had. I strangled him to death in the street. Stick i'll be back i always come back bear the murderer's curse so gormley's gonna take off flying she's gonna fly directly at oh baby that's awesome ben varine falls to his death ben varine has died the murderer's curse Somewhere out there is a true-born son that is yours. And Gormley falls. Oh, God. To the compost heap. And she dies.

Well, dear boy, I told you we would meet again. And he lays his hands on Galabras' head. And he just starts like shaking. on Galabras' head. And he just starts like... shaking. Galabras' intelligence and charisma are permanently

one. What happened to him? You're telling me it's because of me. Well, I want to know how to fix it. Redemption or your own death. The adventure continues now. What's going on, everybody? I'm Troy LaVallee, and welcome to episode 100, parts 1, 2, and 3. Watch what is happening right now.

Well, you're about to find out. I have been excited about this one for a long, long time, and I'm so glad and I feel so lucky that everything worked out that we're at this point in the story for such a memorable, numeric episode to occur. Lucky is the perfect word, too, because I feel extremely lucky to be able to make this show with my good friends and have it actually resonate and mean something to so many people. I had no idea that that was going to occur. You know, I'm 38 years old. I'm an actor, a fly-by-night comedian, and a writer, and all I've ever wanted to do is be able to produce and star in my own television series. That's what I want more than anything else in the world, career-wise. I've lived in New York for going on

17 years. I've had plenty of high points with my creative pursuits and probably about 10 times as many lows, if we're being honest. And sometimes I get very frustrated that I haven't made the progress that I would have liked to have made by now. I think anybody, whether you're in the arts or not, when you get older, that happens if you haven't achieved all the things that you want to do or any of the things that you want to do. So when we started this podcast, our only real goal was to just produce something at the highest quality level that we were able to, knowing that we had no money to put into the show and that we would probably make no money ever doing the show. And we just kept doing that for weeks and then months and now almost two years. And here we are at episode 100, and surprisingly, surprisingly to us,

things are actually starting to happen. The absurd generosity of all of you who support us on Patreon blows us away every single day. It's no exaggeration. Every time I see a new pledge, whether it's $2 or $100, I'm just like, takes my breath away.

Now, total disclosure, we have a long way to go for this to become an actual profitable venture. People see $5,000 a month on Patreon and think, those guys are rich. But honestly, between everything we spent in the past couple of years, expenses, royalties, taxes, oh my God, taxes, it's going to be a long time before we actually make any real money off of this. But because of you guys and your generosity, the mere idea that this podcast could actually turn into something greater now doesn't seem so far-fetched. At GCP Live last week, I couldn't help but feel emotional talking to all of these people who, for whatever reason, get a lot out of this story that we're trying to tell and the silly and oftentimes inappropriate humor we use in telling it. So I have to remind myself when I get frustrated that my career hasn't quite reached the point

where I would like it to be by now that every week I get to tell a story and I get to play a game with my close friends and other people listen to it and it really means something to them. It sounds cliche, but that's worth way more than money. So if you're going through a hard time and you need a laugh, or maybe you needed that cry when your favorite witch, an animal companion fell to their death, well, we got you covered. I don't have to tell you guys there's a lot of hate,

a lot of anger, a lot of intolerance in the world. So I feel like if for an hour a week, we could pull you away from all that garbage, pull you out of your own frustrations and troubles, and just sit back and listen to this fantasy. That's awesome. That is awesome that we can do that. So if you're like me and life isn't always giving you what you feel like you're putting into it, grab some friends and play a game once in a while. Some people have no idea about the therapeutic value of games. Just create something together, because who knows? If you create something together that means something to you, maybe one day it'll mean something to a lot of other people too, who could really use a break from all this nonsense. We love you guys, and we hope you enjoy a very special episode 100 of the Glass Cannon Podcast, Ranger Things.

And now for your main event of the evening, episode 100! Yeah! Of Pops and Models! Yeah! Oh! of Pops and Models. Oh! Should all the questions be forgotten?

Merry! Merry! Merry Christmas, movie house! Merry Christmas, you one of a long building in Lafayette! Merry Christmas, Mr. Potter! Merry Christmas, Mr. Menderia. Merry Christmas, Mr. Potter. Merry Christmas, Minderhall.

Merry Christmas, Footless Lark. Oh, this is beautiful. We got some champagne. I feel like we've done this before. It's been a while. It's been a while. We save it for special occasions. Character day.

Yes, exactly. Let's lead us in a toast. Joe, would you like to lead us in a toast? Oh, great. Yes, exactly. Let's lead us in a toast. Joe, would you like to lead us in a toast? Oh, great. Yes, I would. A toast to Troy for GMing this extremely long and wonderful adventure that I'm enjoying thoroughly. To Skid for his amazing characterizations and characters that he has created that are incredibly memorable. To Grant for showing me what it's like to roll high all the time.

To Matthew for creating the character that everyone misses the most in Gormley Call. And to the fans for being with us for 100 episodes! Amazing. This one goes out to you guys. Cheers. Oh, man. I hope you're drinking with us. Yeah, please.

Everybody brought champagne, right? I have to compliment you on these really beautiful champagne flutes. Aren't these lovely? I brought out the fine crystal red Solo cups. Yes. Are these the wedding gifts? They are. I only bring them out.

Don't tell my wife. Don't tell my wife. You registered for 30 of them. I saw them. It was $4.99. I'm doing so well, you can throw them out when you're done. I only bring them out. Don't tell my wife. You registered for 30 of them. I saw them. It was $4.99. I'm doing so well you can throw them out when you're done. I saw them on the register and I was like, jeez, who's going to spring for that? It was like me and my 10 other people had to split them. Oh, okay. That's what they split.

Well, then wait until Matthew leaves until you throw them out. Thanks a lot. I know mine is the one that hasn't been thrown out. I can't believe we've come this far. A hundred episodes, that is a hundred weeks, and I feel like we've been working on it for 150, and now we're at the big 100. I was thinking to myself earlier today, I wonder how many episodes this whole thing will shake out, because that's the thing nobody wants to talk about, that this is a finite story. This is not an infinite story that hopefully will live on in infamy, but it does have an ending. We're almost halfway there.

Yeah. Well, no, it's going to be 104 episodes total. I don't know how you figured it out. I was just going to tell you, 104 Alright, now I can plan my schedule One more month What a long way we've come And Now here we are I think Poetic, Troy

I think I'm going to It's a special episode So I want to start with a fun little cinematic For you guys We've done this before. So just sit back, relax, and enjoy. Luckily, I have some champagne. Please, don't slurp on the mic.

It will ruin every moment. Oh, sorry. You were just talking to Joe there, right? Not me? That rule didn't apply to me. I have comedians walking to a podcast. Okay. Blackout.

All you hear is boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And slowly an image of some sort of wood

fades into frame the sound continues boom boom and the wood shakes with every sound boom boom more sounds begin to come in with the banging can't quite hear it, it's like

ah ah can't make it out but it sounds very intense with the banging. Can't quite hear it. It's like, ah, ah, ah. Can't make it out, but it sounds very intense. The table continues to shake. Poof, poof, ah, ah. Begins to sound a little bit more like words. Ah, ah, ah. Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink. Ray! Ray! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!

Drink! Drink! Drink! We pan out and see a bunch of people crowded around a table, banging on it in the middle of a drinking contest. On one side, the newly appointed Sheriff Baron Redheart, holding a pitcher of beer in his hand,

chugging away. Camera pans around, and across from him, doing the same, is Ingrahild Nargrimken. And they're racing through a pitcher of beer together. Drink, drink, drink, drink! Slamming on the table. Ingrahild finishes first, slams the pitcher down. Everybody's like, ah!

They're punching Baron like, ah, you lost our woman! He's like, all right, all. Like, you lost our woman. He's like, all right. And she smiles at Baron. Baron smiles back. Maybe the smile lingers for just a little bit. Umlo grabs Ingerhild's hand, raises it up. Umlo's hand, of course, all flesh that he raises Ingerhild's hand with. All right, who else wants to take on my sister, huh?

And then Ingerhild's like, no, no, no, you're going to have to fight your own battles, little brother. I'm not always going to be around to save the day for you. You go, you're up next. Ingerhild gets up, walks towards the bar. As she walks up to the bar, you see she's walking up to a woman with her back to us. She has long, flowing black hair, maybe down to her waist. She turns around. Della Narn. Della

with black hair. Ingerhold says, any change from Galabras? And Della just shakes her head. Della looks like she came here to kind of collect her thoughts and is now being annoyed by something. And Ingerhild's like, you should probably go back over there. That kind of group is the kind that always needs a strong woman around.

Maybe go back there. I'll get some more drinks. And Della looks happy to go away. And Ingerhild realizes there like, boasting really loudly, but she can't see anybody. She just hears this, and it's an annoying sound. She just hears, like, blah, blah, blah, the world wound. Blah, blah, blah, highberry.

She looks to the end of the bar, and she doesn't see anything. The bartender comes up, and he offers her a drink and is like, please, this one's on me for everything you've done for the city. This one's on me. And Ingerhild says, you know, I never turned down a free ale, but as my father always said,

we drink for the battles to come, not for the battles we won. She looks around wistfully at the bar, sees Baron and Umlo racing through a pitcher together, sees Della kind of slowly approaching the table as well. She says to the bartender, I like this place. This is very different from where my brother and I grew up. I could see us coming back here, maybe starting over after we finish our business in the south. She takes a drink and just smiles to herself. and she takes a drink and just smiles to herself.

We pan away from her towards the door of the killing grounds, under the Mission Accomplished banner, of course. We did it. Get her down. We go outside and pass the two horses and that strange wolf tied up outside the bar through the inner quarter of True Now, as most of True Now sleeps, except for the people inside the killing grounds, obviously, up to one candlelit window. And we go inside that window and we see Lork Irontusk just staring at Gorim's thorn.

He lifts his head up and he looks and he sees the armor of Asgroth back and forth between the sword and the armor.

What is going through Lork's mind at this moment? He's thinking, he's trying to resolve this curse, the murderer's curse. He's trying to figure out what it means and where it's coming from, and as he's looking at the armor, he's realizing that the curse is real and that it's coming from somewhere that he can put a hand on, for lack of a better term.

He knows exactly where it's coming from and he's looking at the armor and he's thinking that he's not worthy of it. He went to Droja to kind of follow up. It's not that she wasn't helpful, but she didn't give him the answers that he wanted. He said, redemption or your own death. That's all she

could say. Yeah, and he asked her what kind of redemption, how, and she said she didn't know. And so this is just playing through your head, and now you think of another mission ahead of you. You went from desk jockey to savior of the town to lieutenant to going on an expedition mission. You've come back, and now you're being sent on an even greater mission.

As you sit there kind of going through all this information, staring at the sword, staring at the armor, thinking about Gal and your son and Gormley and Benverine and all your friends from the Black Arrows that you lost. Everything's racing through your head. You hear a knock on your front door. Go open it. Me or you?

You, go open it. Don't tell me what to do! I'm doing the siren's game. So Lark gets up, goes to the front door, opens it. You don't have a peephole, so you just open it up. And it's Catresra. Played, of course, by Edward James Olmos. Weeping sores cover his face and arms, his eyes.

I think I described them as two bowls of milk, completely blind. He says, it's funny, I'm blind as a bat, but I always feel like I can make my way around this city better at night. May I come in? Yes, please, come in. He kind of feebly walks in and is looking for a place to sit. Lurk is kind of like thrown off by this. Lurk trips him.

Yeah. He's like, no, I'll get this set for you. And he just knocks him over. He's kind of looking for a place to sit down. Do you lead him to maybe a kitchen table or whatever you have?

Yeah, the place is a mess from the dwarves staying there. Everything's been, you know, there's a lot of rabble rousing last night. You moved your son's lacrosse equipment

out of the way. Sorry, I haven't cleaned up since my son died. Slide the to-do list out of the way. He very feebly sits down and says, I don't mean to disturb you, I won't be long, won't take up much of your time,

but I have been speaking to Drogia at length about her rescue from the Twisted Hearts, thanks to all of you. As you well know, she and I have much in common. We both suffered greatly at the hands of our orc oppressors. I want you to know that she feels deep regret at having revealed to all of you these things she saw in the mists. You cannot hold her responsible for that.

No, I don't. I did. But I've learned to think better of it. These things we see, we cannot control. They come to us. They come to me in dreams. They come to me in flashes, voices in my head. I wish I had more control over them. voices in my head. I wish I had more control over them. You know, during my time as a thrall to the vile and barbarous empty hand tribe, I came into my powers then through years of

torment and suffering. When I sleep at night, I can still feel the fumes burning my skin Those sulfuric volcanic fumes scarred me physically While also leaving me with these oracular visions You know I spent most of my life only ever seeing these powers as a curse Look Most of my life, only ever seeing these powers as a curse, Lork. When I got free and found sanctuary here and true now, I sought far and wide to remove this curse, to remove all vestiges of my former life.

I sought healers from Vareja to Osiria and back again, spent years seeking divine magics to remove this curse, to remove my powers of seeing, but to no avail. As I found my faith and deepened my connection to Yomadai, I realized over time that these powers, Lord, were not a curse, but a gift. For I did nothing to deserve a curse. From what I understand, you are a different story, Locke. But I don't need to tell you that. Are you familiar with the Shoanti?

I... I am. Why? There is a Shawanti tribe deep within the Mindspins, known as the Skawan Kwa. Yes, I know of them. You know of them. Sometimes they're referred to as the Skull Tribe. Aye. They're barbarians. They are barbarians, but they also consider themselves to be the guardians of the deceased. And their whole lives revolve around death. As I spoke to Drogia and I heard of your situation, I couldn't help but think of them.

If it was death that brought this curse upon you, I believe and I have seen that they may be able to help you. Now, I don't wish to burden you with an old man's ramblings, but I have seen things. I have seen many things. I have seen the coming of the giants. I have seen the great war of man, and I fear I will be long gone before the final battle plays itself out.

I lay awake at night wishing that I had led Roderick down the correct path when he became fixated on these other things that led to his death. I wonder if he had stayed alive, if maybe he could have played a part in this war. But then again, maybe he has. but then again, maybe he has. And maybe my penance and my absolution can come from leading you down a path to redemption. The road will be dangerous.

You will continue to put your allies and everyone you love in peril. But if it's the mind-spin mountains you head for, look for the Shawanti. Look for the Skone Kwa. Look to Bloodsworn Seek that tribe, and may Yomadai lead your way. And you get the sense that there's nothing else he needs to say. We're here for him. Lark is speechless. He gets up, blind as a bat,

walks to the door, opens it, and leaves. Wow. That's a lot to think about. Yeah. Yeah, I think Lork is going to... Yeah, I think Lork is going to... I mean, the thing about the Shoanti that the Black Arrows would know,

or that Lork knows, is that they're very dangerous, especially when it comes to orcs. And by association, half-orcs. They hate them. So it would really be dangerous. Like a death mission. Right, right. Does Lork have connection to them from his Black Hour days?

Did he hear of them or know of them? Yeah, yeah. He definitely would have crossed paths with them in the Mindspins on the Sorvel Plateau. He definitely would have crossed paths with them. And I think that, yeah, he definitely crossed paths with the Sone qua it's going it's going like irish soda bread tribe and uh and yeah no i just imagine them being absolutely gruesome like maybe even killing black arrows or certainly threatening to kill Lork just for being Lork. So yeah, I think that it would be extremely dangerous, but that could be an answer.

I think that Lork knows where this curse is coming from now. He's identifying it, and the death part of it is very clear to him what murder we're talking about and how, not how to be redeemed, but if it's through on like through communing with undead or something, then that is like Ketrezor tipping him off to something that he didn't think of, but understands because he knows, he knows these people. So it would be very interesting for him to pursue that idea. But, yeah, again, it's really dangerous. And you're all alone. You have nobody to talk to except Barry,

who I'm assuming is tied up at back or sitting in the race. He stays in the house. He stays in the house. He uses the race car bed. He's potty trained yeah um lork is gonna talk to he's going to go and see uh galabras actually he's gonna go back to galabras yeah he's gonna go uh and talk to to gal because there's a certain like the whole time i think there was a certain wisdom that gal had that, even though he was much younger, that Lork latched onto after a while.

He appreciated that about him. When they were coming back from Red Lake Fort and Gell was a vegetable in the boat and everything, Lork was sitting next to him, feeling terrible, like a failure and everything. But mainly he just wanted to be in the room with him. It was almost comforting to just be in a room with him. So, yeah, I mean, I think he's going to think about it and he's going to decide to go. But he's going to talk to Galavris first. Okay, so you suit up. You obviously leave the armor. Okay, so you suit up. You obviously leave

the armor. Yeah. Yeah. He leaves the armor. You do anything else? I mean, he wants to talk to them. He wants to say to Baron and Della what he wants to do and why,

but he knows that it's going to get shut down and he can't risk it, like what he wants to do and why, but he can't, he knows that it's going to get shut down and he can't risk it. And so he just is going to write a note that doesn't, that doesn't say where he's going. It just tries to explain why he's leaving, but he, he doesn't, uh, he doesn't want anybody coming after him cause he knows it's that those people are very dangerous. doesn't want anybody coming after him because he knows it's that those people are very dangerous right okay so you you make your way to the sanctuary it's it's really late at night now you know maybe take the long way around but you can hear the the din coming from the killing grounds um you don't walk past any of your companions um and you get there, and it's like after hours.

I mean, you don't even see Brantos Calderon. You see some other guy. The night shift? Yeah, the night shift. And he's just kind of like dozing off and on. And you go down there, and Deroja is asleep as well in like a side chamber. But you do see the room where Rodderick's body was where just son's body went and now where galabras is before he's transported to his house and he's sitting there

looking resplendent yes so ridiculous are his eyes open do his eyes like stay open uh no no okay so he almost looks peaceful like a a peaceful rest. Yes. He has a raging erection. You put a sheet over it. I hope you're dreaming of sweet things, brother. Lork will go up and sit down next to him like he did on the boat and just kind of hold on to the sword. And he's just sitting there in silence for a little while just kind of contemplating his big decision and you know a

little unsure of himself well very unsure of himself really knowing that he has time to you know wave off and not do it but um after a while he's just sitting there and he starts speaking to Gal, and he's like, I was at home doing some thinking about you and Gormley and Ben. And earlier today, I walked past the spot where, well, you know what happened to Jasan and even the Ramble House where we first met, and Roderick died. I'm just, we're just surrounded by death kill. It's, our lives have been a war, in a way, and I know yours has been really tough. in a way, and I know yours has been really tough.

I've seen what you've been through, and I don't know how you survived it, but you've made it this far. And you're still alive, so I know you're fighting in there. I know you're still fighting. And that's why I know you'll be here when I come back. I can't stay, Gal.

I've been lying to all of you. I've been lying to myself. The truth is, though I've been in a lot of battles and I've killed a lot of men, I did it for the glory of Gorim. I took no enjoyment from it. It was kill or be killed. That's all I've ever known. It's the nature of survival.

But murder, that's a totally different thing. I'm not going to stand by and watch Baron and Della die for my sins. I'm marked. And I know why. I've asked so much of you, but I need to ask one more thing. I need you to hear my confession. Will you do that?

And he just, like just sits in silence, and he looks around, he looks to see if anybody's coming. He feels kind of silly, but he knows that he has to say it out loud to somebody, and he doesn't know how to say it to anybody, because he's never spoken of it before. And he just starts, His name was Pudir. A human boy from across the inner sea.

Other side of the world for all I know. But he ended up in Trunau. Broken and starving and near death. His family, I think, had been killed by orcs or something. Or I never knew, or maybe I just don't remember, but it didn't much matter. We took him in, we got him healthy again. And I was young, I was new to leading a gang. I'd never done it before, but I'd grown large.

I was bigger than everyone else, and so it kind of fell to me by default. And I didn't know any better. I was young and foolish, and I thought that the only way to lead them was through fear and violence. And that's what everyone else did. But this boy, he hated the way I did things, and he thought that we could make peace with the other boys. He said I was part of the problem. I'm sorry.

It's bringing up these emotions that I haven't felt in a long time, and I'm realizing now that it all came from pride, from a silly pride. I was new to it and didn't know what I was doing and he was turning my men against me. My boys. We were all boys. But he said, you have to be

kind to people. I realize now he was like you, Gal. But I'd never met anyone like that before. I told him that the other boys hated him and the other gangs. That if he didn't kill them, they'd kill him. And he said, I don't care. I thought he was a fool. Well, eventually I lost control and everyone started doubting me.

And I hated him for it. And when he, as a peace offering to another gang, gave them food from our stores, told them what they could eat, well, that was it. I tracked him down. I waited until he was alone. And I jumped him. And I beat him.

And I choked him. And now I know that I could have stopped myself. I know there was a moment when he gave up. I know there was a moment when he gave up and he looked at me like... Like he was forgiving me or something. And I was ashamed. And blind with rage. And I just finished what I set out to do. I silenced his voice. And so you see, my friend, why I don't deserve your

armor or your hammer. I'm not a righteous man. I'm not an honorable man. I'm a murderer and a criminal. And Ketrezra spoke of a way that maybe I could put this behind me. I've been hiding from it for a long time, but now it's time to face it. And if it's the Shawanti I need to face, then I'll have to do it alone. Because they kill orcs on sight, and half-orcs as well, for all I know. And they may kill Della and Baron just for being in my company. They don't negotiate.

But if it's only me that dies, then that's fine by me. But I have to find a way to rid myself of this curse. And I have to do it now. Once I get rid of it, I'm going to find my son. And then I'm going to find Brander. And I'm going to bring back your hammer. And I know you'll be here. And I know you'll be alive. And he stands up. Looks at Gell. Starts to walk away.

Gets to the door and turns back around, looks at him one last time and kind of like gets a half smile. And he's just like, don't leave town. It's like the final moment from the final episode of Cheers. Yes. And then he walks out. Somebody else comes in, you're like, we're closed. Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis?

Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that... Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis.

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stop at beautiful black forest ham we're talking tantalizing turkey perfectly piled pepperoni sensationally sliced salami so you can lunch legendary dinner deliciously breakfast brilliantly we're talking friggin fresh slicing and i'm yelling yes way get a six inch black forest ham for only 4.99 only at subway price and participation may vary extras taxes and delivery additional expires april 8th uh wow so lork leaves the sanctuary and you know you have to imagine that you've been in there for a while, in real time and in game time, and you go outside and dawn is approaching. The other people, the Killing Grounds,

maybe there's a couple of stragglers there, but they're already back at the house. Yeah, I imagined them like... They see a closed door. I imagined them sitting there for an hour or more in silence, like in silent meditation, thinking about this decision before he started speaking. So you just walk through the inner quarter, back up to those main gates where you guys were barricading and rolling down sticks and boulders. And the bombardiers were coming through.

And now it's like patchwork. They've tried to fix it up. And just the sun slowly rising uh in the east and you hear a lark and this figure comes running up to you hey look where you going you're up early damn it's tom just going on my morning jog. Don't you ever sleep. I just like to get up with the... You know, the early bird catches the stuff. Anyways, well, have a good day. Make sure you keep both your feet on the ground.

See ya. Oh, Jesus. Then Lork slowly walks away into the pre-dawn morn. You know, a couple hours later, the sun has fully risen overhead, and it's a really, like, beautiful day, and the opposite of which is going on inside of you. And, like, where are you heading? Are you just heading directly?

Bloodsworn Vale is, you know it, it is in the middle of the Mindspins, essentially. Where it is in terms of, you know, Minderhall's Valley, you don't know that. You don't know even where Minderhall's Valley is, to be honest. But you know the Mindspins enough, and Bloodsworn Vale is kind of smack dab in the middle. And so is that your destination? Yeah, I think Lork knows exactly where it is, because he's been there. I mean, he knows that territory.

It's his favorite terrain. He's familiar with it. He worked there with the Black Arrows. He did missions there, and he knows the Chalanti. You know, he's dealt with them before. At least the men that he was with dealt with them before if they wouldn't deal with him because he's a half-orc. He had men that could go into tents with elders and stuff like that. So yeah, I think he knows where he's going.

And he's a ranger. He's a ranger, yeah. You couldn't have asked for a better guy to try and find his way back to a place from his youth, essentially. So off you go, then, in that direction. I'm sure a couple hours in you have to imagine that your friends, your party are waking up. Maybe a little hungover, a little worse for the wear and going

the time when you were supposed to meet at the beacon has passed. So you know that they've woken up and gone there. Maybe they checked your room beforehand, you don't know. But this is all kind of running through your head. That abandonment that you know they must feel. But day turns into night and eventually you are just out in the wilderness going on. Day two comes, passes. I don't know. I'm sure you've got some sort of rations on you. You didn't just leave and say, I'll hunt

for everything I eat. But you know that like... Well, no, I'll sure you've got some sort of rations on you. You didn't just leave and say, I'll hunt for everything I eat. But you know that like... Well, no, I'll definitely have to at some point. Right, right. But you've got enough rations for probably a week, two weeks, I would think, easily. So food isn't really a problem, but it's a lonely journey. At the same time, it probably feels very good to get some peace, even though you're feeling bad about, you know,

leaving these people that looked up to you, maybe, that trusted you? Yeah, but it definitely feels better to not have their fate feel like it's tied into my fate in that negative way. Right. That's very freeing, for sure. Middle of day three, you have just been going, going, going, nothing going on,

and you hear roaring up ahead and to the right. Roar! Roar! Roar! Some sort of beast? Barry is very on edge. Barry is...

Stay, Barry. Sniffing, sniffing, sniffing. I haven't said that in so long! Yeah, Barry Sniffing, sniffing, sniffing. I haven't said that in so long! Yeah, Barry is sniffing, sniffing, sniffing. And Barry looks very agitated by this. And roll a perception check.

First lork roll in a long time. Yeah, unlike Will, he's got good perception. 24. 24. It's a bear. You hear a he's got good perception. 24. 24. It's a bear. You hear a bear in pain up ahead. Lork will start jogging up. All right.

You jog up and you get... But he's going to, yeah, keep his distance until he sees what he sees. There's like a little copse of trees up ahead and you can see shapes. And all of a sudden, you can see what's happening. There is a dire bear attacking a orc, maybe, maybe a half orc. You can't quite tell. He's got armor on with spikes coming out of it. And it looks like he is wrestling with the dire bear. The dire bear is getting the better of him right now. But in a moment, he like pulls the dire bear into him and impales him on the spikes and then

as the dire bear is being pushed off he decapitates it. Oh man! And he just turns around and sees you and he is covered in blood. Oh my god. What does he look like? He looks like...

This is amazing! This is like a surprise party. He has the body of Brock Lesnar. I don't know who that is. He's the UFC and WWE fighter. And the face of a crazed Klaus Kinski. From Aguirre, The Wrath of God. That's a combination.

And he says, Ooh, ooh, ooh. I've seen suckling babes with more ferocity than that dire bear. And he noticed... That's Brock Lesnar, by the way, on the TV screen.

Oh, okay. Now I see. And you see him... he human you'll see oh don't jump ahead of yourself and he wipes his twisted great sword off and his hand which is just a leather glove and you see as he slides it sheathes it into the scabbard on his back. Forged into the blade is the word Oathbreaker. And he sees you and he eyes you and he says,

Well met, my friend. I am Orphas Norcim. I seek unimaginable power. Klaus Kinsey says this. Where do you stand in this journey? With me or this bear? I stand with you.

Oh my god. So he's human. Is he human? He's half orc. Oh, he's half orc. But he's also on top of having Brock Lesnar's body. He has the arms of, like the length of arms of like Manute Bull. Like he's got arms of, like the length of arms of like Manute Bull.

Like he's got really, like arms, like he threatens an extra square. Like he's got really long arms. Ripped torso and this crazy German face of Klaus Kinski and it's a half orc that just one shot at a bear. And how

old is he? Like does he appear? Is he young, old? He looks pretty young. He looks younger than Klaus Kinsey, but he has the same kind of insanity. He smiles at you and waits your response. I stand with you.

I could get talked into unimaginable power. I think I could use it. What brings you to these woods? I'm bound for the Bloodsworn Vale. The Shawanti there. Ah, I see. A man out of place in his own time. You are, like me, Half-Orc, no?

Yes, I... Why do you wander through these mountain ranges? What has unhinged you from your own life? I... I'm on a mission of necessity. The Shawanti, they may have something that'll help me. And, uh, it's something I can't find anywhere else. A great power. And like you, I seek to be stronger.

And this is the way that I have found to do it. And I look down and I size him up and I take in the full orc. And he looks at the hilt of your sword and he says, Ah, I see you as well are iron bound to goram are you a follower of goram i am a blood wager of goram Excellent choice. My blood boils for Goro. Every step I take on this earth is a step towards another battle to bring greater glory to our God. I like the way you speak. I'm picking up what you're putting down.

Oh, that's awesome. Where do you seek this unimaginable power? Where are you bound? I am bound where the wind blows me. I am looking to fight the strongest people that I can find because my desire is to return to my home and either

raise it to the ground or rule it with an iron fist. This is amazing. Is anyone else having as much fun as I am? Matthew, you're very quiet a bit. It's a fun time. Classic, Matthew.

So you want to return to your home and raise it to the ground or rule it with an iron fist? I'm just trying to catch up here. Either option is pleasurable to me. Well, I know a place where you could find strong warriors that are brutal in combat, extremely well trained,

extremely disciplined. Would you consider helping me reach this Shaunti tribe? Ah, I... I could be persuaded to join you, but I must say that although I love battle,

it is not the only means with which to gain an end. We should consider all opportunities when faced with the Shawanti. Diplomacy, though distasteful, may be the best option to move forward. You see, the greatest problem with... You're distasteful. The greatest problem with orcs is that they are unorganized.

They are incapable of planning. They are incapable of planning. You know that your better half, the human half, is capable of a greater degree of strategy. And we must use this side of ourselves if we are to separate the wheat from the chaff. And I can assure you, my friend, though you do not know me, I myself are wheat, and I hope you are as well. Otherwise, you will be cut down.

Grant, I like you. You are very good at what you do. So you meet this maniac in the woods who's got spikes on himself. Bear hugging a bear into the spikes.

Decapitate. What kind of weapon is he working with? A greatsword. A greatsword. But then, eloquent as eloquent can be. Now, what is going on through Lord Sebby? Because, Lord, you just abandoned. You can look at at the way you

want off the gas pedal you just like left everyone for dead no uh you know you just like walked away from people because you didn't want to hurt him it seems like you're considering this what is going through your head i've considered it i've already decided on it i mean this guy not only is he amazing he's amazingly perfect he's almost too perfect in a way because he's, as a follower of Gorim, there's no, like there was no one else like that within Lork's tribe. Like people who sought

battle just for battle's sake, sought death in battle as the epitome of a great end. You know? Right. So if you see someone like that who might be at risk because of your curse, it's like, hey, as long as we're in battle together, then he'll be fine. Right, you know, that makes sense.

That makes sense. And the fact that he's a half-orc means we're going into the same exact level of danger with the Shawanti. I'm curious, my friend. Grant, I'm out of character now. No, stay in. Stay in, Grant. What were the circumstances of your birth? How did your mother become impregnated with one such as yourself? I never had the ability to know that.

I never knew my mother. My first memories are of the orphanages in the Straits of Trunau. Ah, Trunau. You were raised by primarily humans, were you not? I, well, primarily myself and my allies, but yes, a human village. Did they accept you? They did, after a while. But, of course, with certain reservations, certain things were always a bit different, but they meant well most of the time, most of them anyway.

I find this encouraging. I can tell you from my own experiences growing up in this world that my father was a cur, a dog, a mongrel. His relationship with my mother was certainly not based on love, and I was the result. And I can tell you that the orcs of Deepgate,

no matter how powerful I became, ever accepted me in their society. Do you know of Deepgate? No. Knowledge Local? Knowledge Local? Seven.

Still don't know of Deepgate. Where is Deepgate? I've never heard of it. Deepgate is in the side of... It's just outside Trunau. Damn it! It's literally the next town over. Oh, you...

Your own knowledge of your worse half has been suppressed by these Trunauians. Deepgate is in the side of the Kodar Mountains. And it is the point of the largest eruption of our chartreuse half, shall we say? When the dwarves ended their quest for sky and finally reached

the firmament itself, it was from that point that the greatest number of orcs poured to saturate the surface of Galarian with their unusual methodology. So that's where he came from. Yeah, okay.

And he's left there for his reasons. You've left Trunau for your reasons. Right. And for whatever reasons, you guys are going to continue on. And I show it like Lork will show him almost ceremonially the sword, Gorm's Thorn. He's got the etching of Gorm. He'll show him the etching.

He'll tell him it's Orc Forge steel that he found. He'll tell him the story of the weapon as far as he knows it. Are you telling him about Red Lake 4? Are you telling him about all that stuff? Or are you just kind of cutting out the parts you don't feel like talking about? No, like Lork has a little bit of... All my friends around me die. Right, exactly. Yeah, no don't feel like talking about. No, like Lurk has a little bit of... All my friends around me die.

Yeah, no, he's not talking about that. He's not talking about the failure parts of the mission, the sadder parts of the mission. He's just talking about he was in a great battle in Red Lake Fort. But really, it was the Vault of Thorns, right? Where he finds Gorm's thorn. So he talks more about the vault, and he doesn't mention Gormley at all. The druids, the druidic history and whatnot. Right, exactly.

This demi-plane, and then he found this amazing weapon that had been hidden by the druids for decades. So you guys are just walking and talking and sharing these stories. And that's going to be right up your alley, hearing about all this druidic stuff, a cache of weapons meant to kill orcs and giants. He takes off the victor's belt. He asks him if he wants to, like, try it on. He tells him he got it from an orc, a half-orc. Is it a half-orc barbarian who was in the fighting pits in Urgeir? Urgeir.

Yeah. Oh, that is a cute little trinket. A true rager brings his power from within. Not to be disparaging of your own talents, my dear Lorc. Oh, no, I've got no talents. This is just to say I met a brave man once. Not like me. And he had a cool belt. So you guys are just walking and sharing stories, just swapping stories.

Just a couple of half-orcs who left their tribe, their friends, and everything behind. How much you share with each other is up to you guys over time. It seems like you're of the same mind for different reasons, but he's on board with your mission, Lork, and you're okay with it. Yeah. There's got to be a part of you, especially after talking to these oracles, that maybe thinks it's faded. Gorim dropped this other halfie in your direction.

Yeah, and he's oozing confidence. Right, oozing charisma. What's your charisma? Oh, it's a 16. Yeah. I didn't even think about that mechanically. Just Grant playing him, he was so confident that you're like, oh, man, this is a guy that I want to go into a fight with.

I think he was playing a solid 16 for charisma. He really nailed it. Nailed it. 16. He'll smile occasionally, but his smiles don't come when they're supposed to. They come at the most disarming, strange times, and often over dark topics. And now he's weird. So that was day three that you met him.

You guys go forward. I don't know if you're taking watches, or you didn't have a watch the first night, but now that you have the option to do it, you're getting into deeper territory. I'm assuming you guys want to take watches. Yeah. So the night of day three, you trade off, things are going well. The next morning you wake up, you take a piss. Maybe you're sharing your rations with him. Maybe he took rations from deep gate after he bolted out of there. Day four, not too much. So, yeah, by the way, Lork is not using all of his rations.

Like, in these relatively quiet nights or peaceful times, he's offering to set traps and stuff like that to help feed them so that they don't have to dip into, like, emergency rations. Ah, so you like going up ahead? No, no, but just once we kind of set up camp. Ah, okay. He's like, I'm going to go around traps for a while. We'll check them in the morning.

What does he think about Barry, by the way? So while he's setting up traps, he's using his considerable handle animal skill to interact with Barry. Oh, he has a high handle animal? Yeah. That's awesome. And he turns to Lork and says, ah,ork, this bear, if you continue to train it, it will be considerably less disappointing. We're working on it.

We're working on it. You know he understands you. Oh. Hey, keep track of days, too, because it's day four. You can begin teaching him a new trick. Yes, yes. You wake up the next morning. You can start looking at them.

And day four is a lot. Now, day four is, this is your second day together, so together so there's a lot more like maybe there's an inside joke hey remember that time i killed that bear now you have a bear hey we're friends hey well every time i almost got decapitated by four so you guys goofing off whenever you camp out that night you've now made four days worth of uh distance now, the party that you don't know about is on horseback. They're moving considerably faster in a different direction. They're going towards the tomb of Nargrim Steelhand. You guys are on foot.

I don't know how much you've told. Orphus. Orphus? Orphas Norkem. Orphas Norkem of your other friends. But you're camping out on the night of day four. So, night four. Tired.

This was a tough day. The weather wasn't great. And you probably didn't make as good a progress as you did the first few days. It was lots of rain. And you're just trying to trudge through. Lork, you're probably not even telling him, but there's got to be a part of you that doesn't want them to catch up to you. So you're pushing it.

That's what I was going to say when you said he was first thinking, like, they're probably getting up right now. They're probably meeting right now. They're probably thinking, where's Lork right now? He was going back over in his head thinking, what clues did I accidentally leave behind? I mean, he's a ranger, so he's pretty sure he covered his tracks pretty well. But he's nervous that they might have been able to track him, and he doesn't want them to follow because he knows it's going to be really dangerous. Right.

So this might be like a forced march through the rain. I don't know, Orpheus, he's kind of like, let's just keep going, we can push it. But you're a blood rager. You're cool with fighting the inclement weather. Night of day four, you're sitting there camping, tired. And both of you roll a perception check. 14. 31.

31! Yeah, don't forget, Lork is a ranger! If there's one thing he does right, it's a minor skill. Oh yeah, perception. Real minor. The least important skill in the game. Hey, there's Matthew! I see you!

I'm just drinking. Matthew is literally had two bottles of champagne. Do you know? I'm the number one, boys. He's just watching the Grant show, which I am thoroughly enjoying. I'm also being haunted by the image of Klaus Kinski staring at me. Literally looking at me. You guys like me on the TV?

He's looking right at you. He's looking right at Matthew. Take a picture of that. Pass that down to Matthew, that champagne. We've got bottles for days. Episode 100! Yeah! 31 Perception.

31 Perception. Yes, 31. You hear... some crazy siren scare come in right when I say that. Some crazy siren scare come in right when I say that. I mean, with a 31 perception, you know that it is 100 yards away from you. You hear something to the effect of like... Like kind of a conversation almost, or just one voice?

It sounds like people are talking. Um, humans. Orthosh, or? Orthosh. You guys have been hanging out for two days. You know what his name is? What's your name again? Orthosh. I'm terrible with names.

Orifice? Orifice. With me. It's all right. You're an old man. Orthosh. Quiet. It's with an F, my friend. Orthosh. There you go. There's someone nearby. You're an old man. Orthosh. Quiet. It's with an F, my friend.

Orthosh. There you go. There's someone nearby. Please help. Let me check it out. Be on guard. And Lork will sneak up. Roll stealth.

20. 20. You walk 100 yards up, and you see what appears to be an old man standing by a stone obelisk, sort of oddly placed in the middle of this forest. You would have just walked by it and not paid any attention to it,

but you see this old man maybe pontificating, talking you don't see anyone else what does this man look like? he's very old he's 5'10 he's played by the revered character actor Michael Hordner,

which you probably don't know by name, but if you saw him, you would recognize him instantly. And he's sort of hunched over, got a very, very kindly face, big eyebrows, and he's wearing a big... Yeah, there he is. Oh, yeah. And he's... He is very old. And he's wearing a traveling cloak, belt with all these pouches on it, and a giant,

ridiculously big floppy hat, like your grandmother would wear to the beach. And he has a walking stick that has a metal point at the end where it meets the ground. And it has a metal handle that comes up out of it that looks like it has a piece of leather or something hanging down in it. It's very difficult to see why. But he's holding this, and he's sort of bending down, and he's got a little bit of light coming out of his hand, and he's looking at this artifact. He's just staring at this obelisk, and you don't see him.

Is he saying it? What is he saying? I don't see him? I mean, I'm sorry, he doesn't see you, Lork. This is very curious indeed. There is, this is clearly the steles of Thessalonian origin. This is Getachian. Wait, there's no one he's talking to?

No. of Thassilonian origin. This is Getachian. Wait, there's no one he's talking to? These characters here, these runes towards the bottom are almost Ciscarian in origin. Which is quite strange indeed

because this is quite a lot of the wrong part of the world. I hope you're not waiting for me to stop this. Also, not to mention the predates of C guy are in here. You were there. Oh, oh dear. Lork is, he thought about, I thought about rolling a stealth check to draw his bow and

knock an arrow, but not aim it, but just have it ready. And he elected to not do it, to not seem too aggressive. He turns around and gives you that exact look from that picture. I got to post that picture. That's the look he turns around and gives you. Michael Holder. That's the oops, I crapped my pants face. He's like, Oi, you there? Oh.

I am sorry. I hope my ramblings didn't disturb you. We're close nearby here. I heard you. Your ramblings. Oh, I do apologize. I am so, so, so very sorry. I, uh, well, the road is lonely, and I'm

rather used to, uh, engaging in, uh, scintillating conversations with myself. Aye, the road is lonely. We've got a fire here. We're cooking up some fresh-caught rabbit. Oh! If you'd like a meal, you're welcome to join us. Oh, I don't want to intrude, but if you are offering,

I wouldn't say no to a hot meal and a bit of companionship for the time being. Right this way. Follow me. Oh, thank you, young man. Thank you very much. Thank you, young man. And he just sort of like... It's been delayed 40.

And he pulls himself up with his walking stick, and he's like, got it, and he just kind of like waddles over like behind you towards the camp. Big floppy hat. Big floppy hat. He follows you back to the camp. Lork is just thinking. Do you warn him like... This is extremely dangerous territory to just be walking through.

Do you warn him about, there's another party member with you? Like he's a little bit crazier looking than me? No, I think he'll just walk behind him and he will talk to Ulf Fesh. Or Fess. You didn't introduce yourself. Or Fess. First you say, come to the fire.

Then you do the introduction. So as he's coming up, he's going to say to Ulf Fesh, there's a man here who's alone on the road. I offered him the fire. Then you do the introduction. So as he's coming up, he's going to say to Orfash, there's a man here who's alone on the road. I offered him the fire. He seems relatively harmless. And he turns around and he says, well met. This is my travelling companion

Orfas Blongbow. What's your husband's name? Norkim. Norkim. You're welcome to share our fire. Yes, Orfas Norkim. If I. You're welcome to share our fire. Yes, what was Nor Kim? If I'm not mistaken, your people hail from Deep Gate, would it be? Ah, and if I'm not mistaken, you yourself may be a man of letters.

Oh, well, I do have some training in books and scrolls and so forth, yes. Wasted a good deal of my life in the study of those. What you may not know about me is that though I appear to be a ferocious half-orc, I'm also capable of the arcane arts as I battle. I'm also capable of the arcane arts as I battle. I would appreciate having a bit of a chat about your own powers. Yes, yes, well, of course. I'm always willing to embark on a discussion of the arcane. Reminds me of my professional days.

I would rather enjoy that. I must say, I did not expect it. It's a rather pleasant surprise. It's just down like a rock. I'm Lark the Iron Tusk from True Now, and we are bound for the show-ante of the Bloodsworn Vale. Ah, yes, the Bloodsworn Vale. Very hazardous.

Would you like some rabbit? I would love some. He cuts them off in pieces. Do you like it rabbit? I would love some. He cuts them off a piece. Do you like it well done or a little more medium? No, I like a little bit of pink. Well, then we'll take it off now. I don't want to take anyone else's portion,

but if you have any... He likes his rabbit pink! Just a little bit. Something to remind you it was alive The FDA said recently pink rabbit is okay Pink is, it's a little bit He hands you the meat, he says What brings you on down the road alone, my friend?

Oh, this is excellent Thank you It was conscious this morning Yes, yes, very It has the taste of the wild in it. I quite like it. Oh, but I'm terribly sorry. My memory isn't quite what it was.

I've forgotten to introduce myself at all. My name's Pembroke. Pembroke? Yes, just Pembroke. That is literally the name of my college dorm, junior year. Oh, was it really? Well, I was rather a donor in certain Atlantic 10 colleges in the Northeast during my corporate phase. But yes, I wonder if it might have made it in there.

Pembroke, I'll ask you the same question I asked Lorke several days ago What is it that brings you to this part of the world? Well, it's rather a long and tedious tale In my youth, I was known as Pembroke the Persistent to one of my apprentice days by my master, Zarthon the Inscrutable, who had a rather better wizarding name than Pembroke, I'll tell you that one. And then upon my embarkation into the world at large, I was known eventually as Pembroke the Potent. Not that you'd be able to tell now, I'm sure. Then later on, once I took my post at the Arcanarium,

I was known as Professor Pembroke. Always a P. I'm noticing a bit of a theme there, Pembroke. Yes, I always seem to attract myself to alliterative nicknames. I don't know why. myself to alliterative nicknames. I don't know why. What does alliterative mean? Oh, it's when one word, two words or more start with the same letter. Don't talk down to me. No, no.

You asked a question. I didn't mean to vent, generally. I didn't mean to vaguely. But yes, so, and then I've, I exited my position rather two months ago, and I am making my way north and east to Ustalav at the moment. You're an academic. And you're alone on the road. Yes, yes.

Don't you, don't you, what was yes. Don't you... What was that? Don't you... Don't you... Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't you fear the dangers of the road? Oh, well, the road is dangerous indeed, but... Well, I'm a very old man, and... To tell the truth, if I'm not...

If I'm not imposing my life story upon your road-weary ears. I left my post because, well, I occasionally will have sort of vision-y type things, prophetic sort of, you know, dreams and whatnot. And I had one concerning my own death, which it appears is imminent. So I've had a good long life, but I've never seen the burial place of the whispering tyrant. I've always had a fascination with him, the whole period of history, history in general, but that in particular.

And so I left my post, much to some of my students' dismay, but what can one do? And I made my way north here. And so I would quite like to see, I would like to see the spire, but... The whispering tyrant, he was defeated by the knights of Ozem, was he not? And by Aroden himself, the god of man. I met a knight of Ozem.

She was very brave. Oh, did you? I did. Oh, yes, they're lovely people. I met a few, too, on the road. I forget, actually, years ago, there was a coterie of them that came through the university, and I actually managed to insert myself into their conversations and showed them around Absalom. It was lovely. They were very, very nice.

You've been to Absalom? Oh, yes, I lived there for 40 years. That's incredible. Yes. I hear it's the most incredible city in the world. Oh, it is a lovely city, yes. Yes, it is lovely. Yes.

Well, we are bound for the Bloodsworn Vale. I don't know if this is along your path, but it's where we're heading in the morning. Well, I suppose I could make a detour. And I'm always happy to share the load. I've spent far too much time alone. I feel I'm getting a little strange. Excuse me, Professor.

Yes. I couldn't help but overhear that you were interested in the visitation of Ustlav. Visiting Ustlav? Yes, yes, Ustlav, yes. I've heard many good things about that place, that it is a seat of unimaginable horror. unimaginable horror. Yes, the horrors are great, which is why during all the previous phases of my life, I

shied away from it. Fascinated as I was, the tyrant himself and his homeland, I was always afraid that I would die if I went there. But now I know I'm dying. So if I die there or on the way, it is no great return.

So this conversation continues throughout the night with this fascinating new character that literally couldn't be more different than this two, I'm so glad you're my friends in real life. This is amazing! I think you could do four hours of just letting skin improv improvise this character.

Totally. So, I mean, I just see it kind of going in that same vein, though. Like, how we as people are all just sitting here just amazed by listening to Skid create this character. I can see Orpheus and Lorik doing the same thing, just listening, because it's so vastly different from anything you have either experienced. I'm sure there were mystics. I'm sure there was an intelligentsia in the orcs of Deep Gate. And I'm sure, I don't know, Lork actually had no experience with this. No, Lork's only consorts, allies, his only allies, friends have been military-based or

prison-based. Donut-eating cops. The true-now-mashed-from type guys. Well, some of them were, yeah. You never met anybody smart. And look, there was people of honor, but there was not people of great academic intelligence and worldliness. To come from Absalom, that is something that really stands out to Lork. Right.

It's one of the things that drew him, in a way, to Gell. That he was so educated and intelligent, and he couldn't help himself. At first, he might have been like, oh, this pompous kid. But after a long time, he was kind of drawn to his intellect and his character in a way that, you know, by the time he meets this guy, he thinks, oh, well, this kind of worldliness is something I need to learn. Yeah, I mean, it's... Also, Lork is the oldest in the group, while with Gormley, they're pretty much of an age

through the whole adventure. Right. This is the first one who's, like, older than Lork. Right, yeah. Probably even at, you know, the enemies you've faced. Red Lake Fort and whatnot, you weren't... You know, Omas might have been of an age of you, but like everyone you've faced, Daktani, you know, maybe of an age, but no one, you know, 20 years,

no one from a different generation. This guy's from a different generation. So I can see Orpheus and Lork just sitting there listening to him talk. And as you can already see, he can just talk and talk and talk. I can see both of you just passing out while he just continues talking to Barry.

Yeah, and then, yeah, I can totally see your character looking over, finding us asleep and being like, oh. Yeah, and he can talk to animals. Oh, he can? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So he's just talking to Barry. You're going to have to talk to yourself.

Barry, you'll have to tell me again about these chemtrails you go on about. I don't understand. Are they emitted go on about. I don't understand. Are they emitted by iron birds? Go on about the moon landing, Barry. Fascinating. You know, so the next morning you guys wake up, and Pembroke, are you fast asleep? Do you stay up into the night and pass out late,

or are you up and at them like an old man, like ready for dinner? Old men wake up pretty early. He's up at 4 a.m. and dinner is promptly at 3. Trying to pee. Grumpily awake. Not wanting to be awake, but awake. You hear in the woods about 20 feet away. Drip, drip, drip.

Drip, drip, drip. With that face on. The same face that when he saw Lorde. We'll put it on the Twitter. You guys will see. So, Pembroke, you are going to take this detour. You feel like you want to take this detour, because Ustalav is literally in the other direction.

Yeah, well, I think that that's why he left. But now it's like he's really lonely, and he wants to spend some time with some people first. He doesn't know how much time he has left. He knows it's soon, but he really just wants to enjoy what's left of his life. Yeah, and I wonder if he's haunted by these visions of his impending death,

how much he would see this as an intervention of fate, in a way that maybe this is part of his plan, just like Lork saw Orpheus as maybe a part of it. Well, and he would say, just like, well, I don't know when my fate will come calling, but I know that I have led a good life. I've led a full life. And if I were to die in the service of some great cause

that you seem to have thrust yourself into, all the better. Which harkens back to like Baron, when you think about it. Like Baron, if he has to go, he wants to go in a blaze of glory. So they'll build a tomb like Nargrim Steelhand's tomb. So that has to resonate with Lork, too. Yeah, no, of course. Of course.

And Lork is not really going to play it down. He's not going to play it down as like, oh, no, it's no great quest. I just need help with the murderer's curse. Like he's going to keep that kind of all secret and say, no, it is a great quest. It's going to be very dangerous. He doesn't mention the curse? No, he doesn't mention the curse. Did you mention Orpheus?

You haven't mentioned the curse at all. No, I haven't mentioned the curse at all. I just say that I'm going to right some wrongs, basically, is what I say, and that this particular tribe of Shawanti could help me because they have connection to the dead, and the wrong that I did was to one of the dead, basically. As vague as I keep it. I could imagine, and you can tell me if I'm right or wrong, but it seems like you want to have Orphos happy with you,

and you don't want to bring up any failures or disappointments that might make you look weak or whatever. Exactly. So are you talking about the curse specifically? No, I definitely thought about that and decided that I wanted to appear to this half-orc like battler of Gorim as if not like I don't lie about anything. I just like leave out the failures. I talk about ripping the grade off, you know, like ripped it out of the wall

and we snuck into this fort. But I don't say, like, I challenged this other follower of Worm to single combat and went unconscious in two rounds. I leave that part out.

When Orphos, at a certain point along this journey, Orphos does want to learn more about what type of power he's going to potentially pursue with Lork and he wants to know specifically, and

I know there's another agenda here, but why he wants to commune with the dead, and for what purpose, what's motivating him to do this. Oh, I'm sure, and that must fascinate Pembroke as well, and I just can imagine Lork telling me if I'm wrong, just trying to put off that conversation as long as possible. Not that you think that they're going to abandon the mission, but it's just like, if your curse is that everyone around you dies, you don't know how to quite bring that up. Yeah, I mean, to an end, Lork is being selfish. He knows that there's a certain danger to these people,

but in a way, he doesn't have the connection to them yet that he had to Baron and Bella, and he feels like the more help that he can get to crack the lines of the Shawanti and at least seem intimidating enough to get an audience, it's going to be... He's greatly going to help his chances of seeing his son and finding Brander. I mean, by Orifash's very existence, this is what he does. He seeks out powerful people to challenge.

He has no fear of death. And the other has said his death is fated to be soon. Pembroke is like, it's coming. So maybe this is fated to be with Lork right now. The important thing is to find a way to justify character-wise why you would stay with Lork right now. The important thing is to find a way to justify character-wise why you would stay with these people

knowing that you have this curse and they're probably going to die. That's the only thing you really have to worry about. Right, exactly. And that's what I'm thinking is their reasons for being here right now with me are they fit perfectly. Almost like it was fated. I think, like Grant said,

you should be honest with them. That's what I think like what Grant said I think you should be honest with him That's what I think Okay And so day six You're an evil character You don't tell us at a certain point Well this is important You know because you just met Pembroke

I'm waiting for it to like Materialize Early on it seems kind of odd to Show that much vulnerability You wouldn't say that in the first line You'd never get a date at a bar Exactly Yeah Yeah exactly Like you start dating somebody And be like Just want you to know show that much You wouldn't say that in the first line. You'd never get a date at a bar if your first line was

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like you start dating somebody and be like just want you to know my mom is my best friend. I'm 40, I'm bald and I live with my mother.

Is that cool? I just want you to know I have a vestigial tail. A rudimentary third nipple. No, like I can't even tell you right now how much I love these characters.

So I really do look forward to Lork, like, becoming vulnerable to them. Okay. Right. So I can see. That makes sense. I just don't want to let you off the hook. Like, you know, they're gonna die if everyone around you dies. Yeah, yeah. So Day 6 comes along and you guys are talking more. You're still probably

holding back. Day 7 comes along. Oh, okay. Well, I mean, if this much time And now by Day 7, I can see you really liking the both of them, and that's the tough thing. It's like, this is Spider-Man type stuff. It's like, I can't let anybody get close to me because they all die. It's the same shit. It's like,

you like these people. There are good people in the world. People that are now of a like mind with you. So what happens on day seven? It's mid-afternoon. Mid-afternoon, Lork will, literally during the day, as they're walking through, buried by his side,

he will say, I'm not sure I've been completely honest with you about why I'm going to see the Shawanti of the Bloodsworn Vale. In fact, I know I haven been completely honest with you about why I'm going to see the show-auntie of the Bloodsworn Vale. In fact, I know I haven't been honest with you, and you all deserve that. I am... I am seeking to right a wrong, as I told you, and I am seeking to commune with the undead, like I said, but... I need... Well, you know, Orf...

Orfas... That I... Have battled many in the name of Gorim, I need... Well, you know, Orph... Orphos, that I have battled many in the name of Gorom, and I've killed many in the heat of battle. But I'm sure you would agree that that is different than murdering someone that is not looking for a fight, that is innocent and pure and has no ill will towards you.

Well, long ago when I was young and foolish, I came to you. And right as you start to speak, you hear a scream, maybe a hundred feet away, off into the woods to the west. I just got going. I know. You hear like,

ah! Sounds like a woman's voice. We snap our heads. I'll start immediately going, like immediately moving through the woods. So he's in the middle of like, sharing this heart to heart, and we've kind of,

might have probably took both of you off. What's going on here? It's so intense that he almost has trouble walking and saying it. He almost has to stop and then he hears this scream in the distance. What do you do? Lurk will immediately say, someone's in trouble, and he'll start to

jog through the underbrush, not being hampered at all by the difficult terrain, to the sound of the screams. Drift falls, breaks his leg. Pembroke moves quickly but carefully with his walking stick. Orphos thinks to himself, Oh, sorry.

Orphos thinks to himself, I love the smell of strife in the morning. You're a weird dude, Orphos. Orphos. Orphus. Yep, yep. You guys run ahead. I can see Orphus and Lork being together. Yeah, Lork's got his bow out.

It's weird seeing Lork again, yeah. Lork, Barry with you. You run up ahead, and you reach a clearing, and you see seven figures. In the middle is a woman who looks like... Matthew. Matthew.

Who looks like this. Oh! Describe her. That's my girl! What actress? Michelle Rodriguez. Sarita Chowdhury. Yeah.

Sorry. Cut the mic I like Michelle Rodriguez I wish it was her We offered it to her She said no She turned it down So once again

What's the actress? Sarita Chowdery And what is she wearing? What does she look like? She's wearing Druid's robes Oh Get out of here

And she has A head scarf on And Weird Crystal Spectacles Across her eyes And she has a headscarf on and weird crystal spectacles across her eyes. And she is surrounded by six creatures that look like this. Little, tiny, like, they look like old men.

Kind of gnomish. They have red caps on, metal steel boots with points, and they have a scythe chained to them that they're holding with two hands. But these are little, little guys. They look like Santa Clauses if Santa was, like, little demons with a scythe. If he was, like, 65 pounds. Little Santa scythe demons. And for the first time in 29 episodes

or so, Lork and Friends roll for initiative. Oh! Oh, look at that! Outro Music