The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 100 Part 3 - Ranger Things

Episode Date: April 25, 2017

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Episode 100 concludes right now. What the hell are you guys going to do? Let me go over the cast of characters here. We have Lork Irontusk with his trusty companion, Barry Connick Jr. We have Phrasa. Phrasa. Phrosa. What was it again? Phrasa.

Phrasa. I got all those and you can still get them. Phrasa or Cid. Phrasa or Cid. We have Orphus. We have Pembroke. We have Razzmatazz. Razzmatazz!

We have Finial Smek. This guy was just the nice guy that brought you here. We have Taram Shinerman and his two sons, Aram and Yamir Shinerman. Jarek Sneff and Stryachrome bolted out there, probably to rouse the troops. So it's the one, two, three, four, five if you're counting Razzmatazz, six, Phineal, seven, eight, nine of you. And let's not forget Mr. Barry Connick Jr.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Barry Connick Jr. Ladies and gentlemen, crash, crash, screaming, ah, ah, damnation. What do you guys do? There's a door in front. There's a huge set of double doors 20 feet wide Leading out the way that you guys came in

Farazza is going to charge out Just boldly charge out And as soon as she hits air She's going to start wild shaving Farazza opens the doors To outside Because Jarek and Strya shut them. Opens the doors.

Imagine this is slow motion. Just... The doors open up. And you see... Coming up towards the town hall. Two ogres. Behind the two ogres, four weird-looking trolls. Behind those four weird-looking trolls, three more trolls.

And murder happening all over. You see guards being thrown off the towers. Giants smashing elbows into a tower, knocking a tower over. Roll a perception check. This is horrible! Oh my god. The way the town is shaped, you can see pretty far across town, you see a huge

cyclops. With two people in its hands, just smash the two people together and they explode. I mean, they've got to be a couple thousand feet away, but the way the town is shaped, you can see Wilhelm scream. Wilhelm, no!

Wilhelm, no! Wilhelm! So you open the doors and there's two ogres, four weird-looking trolls, three trolls behind that, more giants behind that. Do you want a wild shape?

Yeah. Roll for initiative. Oh, baby! Behind that, do you want a wild shape? Yeah. Roll for initiative. Oh, baby! Oh, oh, shit. Natural three. Oh, Lord. Wait, is that what you rolled last time?

Yeah. I rolled the exact same initiative as last time, too. Oh, my God. Nick is not really cutting through this war right now. All right. Pembroke, what'd you get? 14. 14.

Orpheus? Orpheus rolled four. Oh, and Lork, what'd you get? Five. Farazza? 22. 22 for Farazza. Pembroke, you said 14? Yeah.

Okay. All right. Faraza, you actually have the jump. You open the door, and you have the jump. Go. She's going to look back at the others and say, I came to this continent to do good. Join me.

And she's just going to start spinning, and she's going to spin up into a small air elemental and take to the sky. Oh, shit. She becomes pure air. Wild shapes into an air elemental, flies up into the sky. Okay.

It is their turn. Oh, God. Most of their turn. I mean, the doors are open and the two ogres come flooding in, we'll say. And I'm going to say that Orphus and Lork are up front. We're going to do theater of the mind here. First attack on Lork.

Natty 19. Hits you. Great club. Ogre comes up. Hits Lork with a great club. Boom! 19 points of damage. Second one attacks Orphus and misses.

The mountain troll, or whatever, the other trolls, they just kind of hang back and wait. Pembroke. I am going to lower his walking stick again, point it in the direction of as many creatures as he can get in a line and do another lightning bolt. Lightning bolt. Okay, so you've got to go past the ogres to get some of these trolls. Yeah, yeah. Three of the trolls in a line. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, wow. 26 points of damage. Any reflex save? Reflex save, 18 for half. 18 for half. Fail. Fail. Pass.

All right, so you're able to cut through two of the trolls. They're not dead. And then the other one only takes, you said 26? Yeah. So the last one takes 13 points of damage. So 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 different kinds of trolls. Two of them take 26 damage. One of them takes 13 points of damage. So one, two, three, four, five, six, seven different kinds of trolls. Two of them take 26 damage. One of them takes 13.

Not bad. Lork, two ogres came up into your face. Pembroke just zapped a lightning bolt outside. Lork pulls out Gorham's Thorn, favorite enemy. And he enters a rage immediately and attacks. Natty, 16. That is a hit. That's 30 to hit.

Gormsthorn against... Is this the ogre that attacked you? This is the ogre that attacked me, yeah. Against the giant. The giant subtype. He does 24 points of damage. Almost kills him. First swing. See if he can finish him off.

19 to hit. 19 to hit. Okay. First swing. See if you can finish him off. 19 to hit. 19 to hit. Yes. Second swing. Hit six plus four is 10 plus 17 is 27. And you actually kill the ogre. Yeah! The ogre's like,

So that ogre comes up and does 19 points of damage to you. You return the favor by killing it. Yeah. 40-some points of damage. Barry Connick Jr. her in the favor by killing it. Forty-some points of damage. Barry Connick Jr.

Should've built a wall. Should've built a wall. Should've listened to the elder son. Lork is going to command Barry to stay behind this wall. Surprise! Inside the building. So what you're saying is you're going to say Barry stay? Barry stay. He knows stay. He knows building. So what you're saying is you're going to say Barry stay? Barry stay.

Barry stay. He knows stay. He knows stay. We all know Barry knows stay. Orphus. He has 26 total hit points. There are two surviving orcs. Or, I'm sorry, trolls.

No, there are one, two. They're all surviving. They just took a big hit. There's just two of them, though, right? No, there's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven different kinds of trolls. So the ones that have been hit. Yes. Well, first, Orphus is going to yell.

You got an ogre in your face, by the way. Right in my face? Five foot step back. Yeah. Orphus is going to yell. Battle cry. Yeah. Swift action.

Everyone gets a plus one to hit. Battle cry. Then he is going to say. And by the way, the only reason you didn't get an attack of opportunity when the ogre came up is you were flat-footed. Just in case you're paying attention. Okay. And Orpheus casts Scorching Ray

to hit the two trolls that were hit. So this is a ranged touch. They were all hit, but only one was hit for half. So you're going to hit for the ones that were more hit. Yes. Ranged touch. Go for it. Miss.

Unless a 10 hits. Nope. 14 against that, JC. 14 hits. So the second one hits. 17 points of fire damage. You kill one of the trolls. All right.

So round one has ended. Only two of them took their attacks. We're doing some serious shit right now. An ogre has been killed, and one of these weird-looking trolls has been killed. I keep saying there's seven different kinds of trolls. There's four of one kind of troll in the vanguard, or what would have been the vanguard.

The ogres are really in the vanguard. And then there's three normal-looking trolls behind it. Farazza. We are seriously outnumbered. Yes. Farazza's going to begin summoning. Oh! All right, so you're an air elemental.

She's spinning up in the air. And you begin summoning. All right. The weird-looking trolls up front, now of which there's only three of them, they all converge on the floor. Ooh. Charging bites.

Oh, shit. Bite number one, natural 20. I'm not even exaggerating. Oh, no. All right, to confirm. It's a very low 15 to confirm. Natural 20. I'm not even exaggerating. Oh, no. All right, to confirm. It's a very low 15 to confirm. Does not confirm.

All right, seven points of damage. Seven points of damage. Second one, 16 to hit. Miss. Third one is also a miss. So those are the three trolls. Three weird-looking trolls. The other three trolls come converging in. One goes after Pembroke.

Two go after Orpheus. One goes after Pembroke. Misses. Natty, two. The other one goes after Orpheus. Miss. The last one goes after Orpheus. Crack die. Natural 20s. There it is. Neon green natural 20 right in my face.

When you play for four hours, there's lots of natural 20s. There it is. Neon green natural 20 right in my face. When you play for four hours, there's lots of natural 20s. Critical, critical, critical, critical, critical, critical, critical. I haven't had any natural 20s in four hours. You've had five? Unconfirmed. Seven points of damage.

So these all just come running in. Bite, bite, bite, bite, bite, bite, bite, bite. Now, I just want to let you guys know, this room that you're in, you are now surrounded, Lork, by one, two, three, four trolls. Orpheus and Pembroke have two trolls up in your grill. And just so you know, Farazza, they are now, they're all inside of the cathedral. Meanwhile, Taram and Amir and Aram are just kind of like standing back. They're not fit for battle. Or at least, you know.

Sure, Taram maybe can do some healing or something, but they weren't ready for this. And Finial Smik is hiding behind one of the pews. It is now Pembroke's turn. I'm going to get away if I can and start summoning. Alright, you can definitely take a five foot

step away. Yeah. Alright, so five foot step away begins summoning. Pember, five foot step away begins summoning. Lork, you are surrounded by trolls. Can I take a five foot step? And an ogre. I didn't even attack with my ogre.

Can I take a five foot step to be within, to be between Pembroke and the giants? There's trolls? No. Okay. Well, I will take Orpheus' Pembroke's only hope. I can't take a five-foot step away because I don't have ten-foot reach.

So I'm just going to stay in the fight right now and just use my favorite enemy to swing away. So first attack, 19 to hit. 19 hits. Are you attacking the ogre or the trolls? The ogre that was readying an action. Okay.

The ogres freaked me out the most. Black Arrow days, you fought a lot of ogres. Oh, dude, 26 points of damage. Oh, yeah. 26 points of damage. Okay. He is still kicking. And then second swing,

15. 15 misses. Fucking shit! And then... You killed the first ugly. Is there another way out of this place or is it only this door that we open? Only this door that you can see. Okay. You can ask Tora, is there another way? He's like, no, no, this is it.

Second floor window. Yeah, I'm just trying to look for a way to hide Barry, because I don't want him to get killed and barry's gonna stay uh orifice uh so orifice is uh pembroke's only hope he this is theory of the mind so please help me yeah i mean where can i step to intercede and to allow him to continue summoning. I have ten foot reach. You can take a five foot step, and the problem is, unless you kill two of them this turn, they're going to attack him most likely. It's up to you and Farazza. Can I get in the way of the closest one to them?

Yeah, absolutely. So I'm going to do that. That's one of the weird looking trolls. Swift action, he's going to say, My blood boils for Gorum and he rages. And he takes a full attack against the gentleman who I can stand in front of. Okay. This is one of the weird trolls.

21 to hit. 21 hits. Nice. 26 points of damage. Nice. You guys of damage. Nice. You guys are laying down the lot. Second attack. Is he still up?

He is still up. These guys are so lucky we showed up. That is a... Seriously? 18 to hit. 18 hits. 22 points of damage. One less guy standing in front. Damn nicely done, Pembroke.

There's two other guys threatening there. Farazza, what do you got? Before Farazza goes, summon nature's ally. Three. Four. Wolves charge into the room. Nice.

Oh, there you go. This is pandemonium. And they go straight for the guy threatening Pember, because there's still one that's threatening him, right? Yes. So they're going to charge it and flank it from all sides. You can just make them appear there, right? Is it like summon?

Yeah. And they're all going to attack. All right. First one. 20 to hit. Hits. Smite evil. They're evil, right?

They are evil, yes. Smite evil. They're evil, right? They are evil, yes. Chaotic evil. Three points of damage. Second one. Okay. Chipping away. Chip, chipping away. 20 to hit.

20 hits. Smite evil. Seven points of damage. Okay. Third one. Natural one. Fumble. Don't worry about it.

All right. Caught a miss. Fourth one. Fumble. Don't worry about it. Caught a miss. Fourth one. Smite evil and flanking. 16 to hit. 16 hits. Nice. Four points of damage. Still up?

Yeah, he's still up. So three of them hit, one of them fumbled. You did 14 points of damage total to that one. And he's still... And now Farazza... And now Farazza... Is going to... Air Elemental is going to swoop into the room

and whirlwind the guy that's threatening Pembroke. Okay. Talk to me about whirlwind. You get a save, but hang on, let me look up the DC. So basically, ten feet around him. So actually, I'm going to get some of the wolves in there. Come on, Matthew! I'm running seven creatures right now.

Do it! That must be so hard. You have to teach me your ways. We're having fun. We're having fun. We're having fun. Oh, no. Five foot wide is his base. Okay, you get a DC 12 reflex save.

All right. 12? Come on. 15 on the reflex. Okay. You get a second reflex save, so you take no damage. All right, so now I take no damage, and this one is to see if I fly up in the air or not? You get picked up, yeah.

11. Fail. Yeah. Okay, so you get picked up in the air bodily and held suspended in the powerful winds automatically taking the indicated damage each round. So I guess not this round is what I'm reading. Okay. So this one is just. Spin up in the air.

It's like force wind. Yeah, exactly. And because I'm in contact with the floor, debris is flying up all around me. And Pembroke has concealment. Oh, nice. Against this ogre. Wow. Alright.

After this one flies up in the air, so now Pembroke is free. And now it's my guy's turn. Alright. The ogre that is still alive attacks Lork with a great club. 17 to hit. Hits. Hits you for 13 points of damage.

Okay? Yes. Troll attacks. These are full attack actions now. They're just like, 20 to hit. Yep. 20 to hit, 6 points of damage.

And then another hit. Yep. 20 to hit, 6 points of damage. And then another hit. So it went bite, and then claw, claw was 20 to hit, 20 to hit. So now another 7 points of damage and another 4 points of damage. That's one of the trolls. The next one. Jesus. 11. Misses on the bite.

Natural 20 on the claw. The next one, 11, misses on the bite, natural 20 on the claw. Natural 20 on the claw to confirm, 13. Does not confirm, so 7 points of damage on that claw, and then the last claw hits with a 19 for 4 points of damage. So these trolls are just

haka-haka-haka-haka-haka-haka. And now it's regular trolls, which by the way if they hit on more than one, will get a rend attack. And they're just going after you, Lork. Come on! Oh, my God. Come on! Natural 20!

Look, it seems like I'm making this up. I believe you. Because natural 20 on the bite to confirm 22. Now, it's not a named creature, so it's just going to be max damage times 2, which is 26 points of damage. You rolled twice, not just multiply? No, it's...

Isn't it just max twice? No, no, no. If you have confirmed credit, it's not max. It's not max twice. Yeah, I know. I'm so excited. I can't think straight. So the actual damage is 6 plus 10, 16 points of damage. All right, Lork is unconscious.

Lork is unconscious. All right, so you go down, and that was the bite attack. It has two claws. It goes to claw you, and all of a sudden you're like, oh, stand down! And this hill giant comes rolling up. Rushes up to the arena. He's got a scythe in his hand. And he's like, stand down!

Or the half-orc gets it! And he raises, readies an action to bring the scythe down on the orc's head. What are you at hit points, Wes? I'm at minus eight hit points. And what's your con? Twelve. So this hill giant was behind the second line of trolls. He looks like he's the general of this group.

He's holding a scythe over Lork's head. Stand down! Or he'll die! And it is Pembroke's turn. Pembroke cancels the spell, puts his hands up in the air, and says, No, please, don't, don't, don't, don't. No, please, don't, don't. Taram, Aram, Ymir, Finial, all do the same.

They all drop to their knees, hands up in the air. Barry, hands up in the air. They don't see Barry, like Barry's hidden. Orpheus. I have killed two of your warriors. I have shed the blood required for today. I, an oathbreaker, will stand down. Goes to the next round, and as this is happening, you see more waves of giants.

I mean, the carnage that is happening around you. You see poor, innocent people just getting murdered, beaten by giants like you guys were able to withstand them for a couple of rounds. But you see just carnage by poor civilians, untrained guards trying to fight ogres and trolls just getting rammed in and raked apart. It's also just huge that I did that because something Lork said to me, I think the kind of like less gorami insight he had towards like feeling bad about his murder and stuff like otherwise he would have just gone at him and killed him so the friendship that we've had over like 15 days has changed his viewpoint a little i mean you knew that if you took one step he would be dead yeah for kudagra for aza you are

an air elemental currently a whirlwind a whirl you are an air elemental? Currently a whirlwind. A whirlwind air elemental. Currently a bit of a whirlwind. Controlling, I would assume, controlling this troll that's up in the air. And she's got four wolves

at her disposal, too. Four wolves at their disposal. What do you do? Just met these guys a couple days ago. She's gonna release it and wild shape back into a human. Comes down.

So she's outside. No, she came back into the room. She came back inside. And when she comes back, her headscarf has been dislodged some, and you see that her hair is not hair. It's a tangle of branches, almost like a tumbleweed pulled into a ponytail. What? She ain't human.

What are you? She's an asimar. Whoa. In the whirlwind of Air Elemental and all this other stuff, the turban, the headdress comes off, and she has braids that are branches and tangles. Yeah.

That's cool. So she comes down as well. And the wolves hold. And they're the... Anybody speak giant? I do. So you can hear them saying, Cormug, Cormug, what do we do?

And he's like, round them up. Round them up for her. And the remaining trolls, Gristlecrag, that are there, is when you guys killed one ogre, two of the weird trolls. We killed two ogres. The other ogre was, I think he was still kicking. Are we going to split hairs?

No, I know. You killed one and a half. No. It's important for Goro. But anyways, these trolls. Yeah, fair enough. There are two of the weird trolls, two of the regular trolls, and they're all just kind of getting you guys together.

And the whole time he's holding this scythe over Lork's body. So eventually they get you all together. Pembroke, Orphus, Farazza, Finial Smik, Taram Shinerman, Aram Shinerman, and Ymir Shinerman.

And the last length of the chain goes around Lork's lifeless leg. And you, if you speak giant, and you're probably not telling, you know know like giving any tell that you understand what they're saying but they're like you understand that this guy's name is cormug dead gut and he is like at least the general of this group i think he's in charge of the ogres um he eventually uh sends the ogre the one living ogre off and he comes back with this oh it's her

I mean huge giant with blue skin and long red hair with a great club larger than Lork's body she comes up and she's like take them, let's go great club, larger than Lork's body. She comes up. She's like,

take them. Let's go. Oh, man. And you guys just start marching along and she has one of the trolls like holding your lifeless body, keeping you afloat. You can see in the distance another group of people all chained together.

Some young, some old. Half a dozen or so chained together. And just bodies all over the place. And Gristlecrack says, Did you get them? Did you get them? This is all in Giant. So only Pembroke hears this. And you see a couple of the trolls go over to some of the dead bodies

and just hack off the feet of the dead. And they're just going back over and they find another one and they just hack off the feet of the dead and throw them in a sack. Another one, another one, another one. Just hacking off the feet of the dead and throw them in a sack. Another one, another one, another one.

Just hacking off the feet of the dead. You see that first group of chained people just waiting. And this large giant leading these trolls and a couple ogres takes you out of Shinemon's fortune after she takes a bag full of feet of the dead. Roll to stabilize, Lork. Natural 19.

So you stabilize immediately, yeah. Good roll, Lork. Yeah. Those are three words you don't hear every day Yeah seriously What are you at negative eight That was a DC 18 I rolled a 20 Certainly not in that order Matthew What do you heal

On a night's rest A night's rest I would heal One night I would be awake one night you would be I would be at zero and if we like gather in a camp presumably I'd be able to

like cure light wounds him right might be able to sneak him around depending on where you are on the chain link but either way I mean I think it's good

that he wakes up at zero in one night just like what I like is from an idea is like you just wake up and you're not at Shinnerman's Fortune anymore.

You don't know how you got there. You don't quite remember what happened. And you wake up and you look and you see Orphus and Pembroke and Farazza

and even R Razmataz. Oh, Raz. My boy, Raz. That nice fella. That lovely young red cat. Finial Smick. You also see Finial Smick,

the guy that greeted you at Children's Fortune. You see Taram, Aram, and Ymir and you guys are just chain ganganged up. And this large woman that, Pembroke,

you soon realize her name is Gristlecrack. That's what they refer to her as. And everything that I hear in Giant, I'm using message to whisper it to everyone else in the party. So you guys all know the leader's name is Gristlecrack.

Can we respond to message? Yeah, you can whisper it back. The ogre's name was Cormug Deadgut. And everyone else is just sentries waiting for them. Obviously Gristlecrack is higher in the pecking order. Cormug. You get the sense that Cormug is like a...

He was part of the Vanguard. This isn't his normal duty. But he's still with the group. Lork speaks giant, so once he wakes up, he can start hearing it. Orphos will whisper back to Pembroke. Should we say

skidamarinky dinky dink? Perhaps not at the moment. I think we should use it strategically. Wait for our window. Right now it would only be blind vengeance.

There may be a chance for us to be freed. We shall see. Yeah, where you guys didn't give him the code word, Razzmatazz just kind of hunkered down with Finial Smick during that whole battle. And now he's on the Jane

gang as well, because of course he is. Of course. This is now canon. They're marching you. Forced march through what now seems to be a valley. Survival checks? You don't have to worry about survival checks.

You're going to have to worry about non-lethal damage. So for every day that you heal, waiting, you're taking more points of non-lethal damage. Yeah. So for every day that you heal, waiting, you're taking more points of non-lethal damage because you're always staggered. And you're starving. They're not feeding you.

A couple days in Pembroke, or the second day, the trolls are talking amongst themselves how hungry they are. And they think, what difference would it make if we just ate one of them? Just one of them. And they're like, we can't say that to Gristlecracker.

She needs them all. She needs them all as tribute. But what's the difference of one? I think if we just told her, we'll just do one. There's so many of them. They can all be tribute. She has the feat. By day three, they bring up this idea to Gristlecrack.

And she shuts it down. No. These are offerings to Uratash. Offerings to the Storm Tyrant. Uratash. To proveings to the Storm Tyrant. Urethash. To prove our loyalty and our commitment to the cause. We will not eat them. A couple more days wear on.

And you still hear the trolls grumbling about it. It's just bullshit, man. And finally Gristlecrack is tired of hearing about it. And she's like, all right. One. One and only one. And the next time one of you asks after this feast,

it will be one of you that we roast on the spit they're like thank you thank you Gristlecrack, thank you thank you and so now the trolls these unintelligent stupid trolls have to decide which one of you. And they walk up and down the line.

And they look right at Farazza. And then they grab Finial Smick. And they unchain him. No! And you guys are all sitting there watching this happen. And they take him.

They slit his throat. And they just throw him into the cook fire. They probably bleed him out like a cow that's being slaughtered. Like a cow. Stick a long stick all the way through him so they can rotate him on a spit.

He's horrific. And they roast Finneal Smick over the fire. And you guys watch all of this go down. And then they just, after a couple hours, eat up this poor young man. Want to see a picture of him again?

He was the coward or the one that... This beautiful young man. He was the guy who got us through the town gates. Oh, right, right. Oh, God, he was gorgeous. From Troy's favorite movie, Fifty Shades of Grey. Yeah. There he is.

Guy who plays a horrible serial killer. Yep, they're eating him. They're eating him. Cooked, eaten, delivered. Prime cut of beef. And you guys go to bed that night. You don't even know if it's day four or day five. Maybe Pembroke knows.

He has it all planned out. But, like, you've lost track of time, and you still see a couple of the trolls just grabbing off. I should say that, I mean, if it's not clear, Lork is looking at any possible opportunity or weakness to escape. Ah. Like, if that's not made abundantly clear, like, he is... Yeah, I mean...

And not, like, necessarily alone. Like, he would talk to any of these guys, but, like, he would be planning to get out of there. Well, you know, it's funny, because tonight of all nights would be maybe the only opportunity you're going to have because they're all, like, stuffed. Deadgut and the ogres, Pembroke has heard, are leaving on the morrow and ranging ahead. They say they're going to go south While Gristle crack And the trolls continue East They said that Urufash has

Some ranging for us to do We're supposed to look And this is again, this is all Pembroke overhearing They're supposed to look Amongst some ruins To try and find stuff to bring back to Urathash. So they're heading south to do that. So that night,

Lork, you do notice that the trolls that are on duty are a little loggy. Alright, yeah, he'll talk to everybody else and be like, they say you were trivious.

There's nothing but death in this. Black Arrows always said, if you get captured by ogres or trolls or giants, doesn't matter who it is, you gotta escape, even if it means your life, because they'll do much worse to you than if you just die on the way out. My friend, I have been ready to escape since moment one. If you have the means, I am ready.

I didn't have the strength, but now I do. We must find a way. You have, all of you, powers beyond anything I've imagined. I'll do what I can, but let's get out of here. Tonight. Very well.

So what do you do? You're all chained with these big thick chains around your legs can I prepare one around each ankle and then the chain continues I can enlarge well if you can't

enlarge doesn't work if you're in a space that won't break you're not going to have to break these manacles I'm saying reduce I cannot reduce in a space that won't break. You're not going to have to break DC. No, I'm saying reduce. Yeah, I think I might have it. If we have a reduce. I cannot reduce. However, I can wild shape into a fox.

Wizards can reduce, but if you don't have it in your spellbook. You can wild shape, yeah. I do have reduce person. You do? And I can prepare it twice and cast it twice. Yeah, it takes a full round to cast, but we have the time.

You do that. I could perhaps create a destruction. And I have invisibility, too. 400 feet away. Orphast, that's the group. My friends, it is not within my nature to flee. But if the three of you promised me to bring bloodletting upon the heads of those who kept us captive,

I will aid you in this cowardice. Aye, we get away from here into a stronger position. We'll be able to take them out. Maybe not right away, but certainly with more strength than we have right now. And just a question. I know he's really minor, but it's been seven days. What happened to Rasmus Tess?

It's six days. Oh, but you said we were marching. Okay. It's six total days since the skid's been keeping meticulous track. I have no doubt. Yeah, so R the skid's been keeping meticulous track. I have no doubt. Ah, yeah, so Razzmatazz is still there as well. You could also have Razzmatazz make the distraction, but either way.

So what's the point? We should do it now before that spell wears off. I can cast a storm up to 170 feet away from us. An aggressive thundercloud. That would presumably... It's so hard to keep magic users captive. Yeah. And then I can wild shape, and I can assist unlocking. Yeah, so you can cast wild shape and get out.

What is it? Orphosh. Orphosh can cast reduce Person on him and myself, making us into small creatures to get out of the binds. I'm not sure what to do about the wizard, though. Well, I mean... And what about Taram and Aram and Ymir? Right.

Yeah, we just don't have that disabled device. You don't have to worry about Finial anymore. No, certainly don't. He's been eaten. And where's Barry? Is Barry chained along with us? No, Barry is gone. I had Barry hide in that room. You hope Barry is gone.

Well, I just mean in the sense that... You told Barry to stay. Barry wasn't marched with us, that's all I know. No, Barry was not marched with you. That's all I know. Barry was not marched with you. You told him to stay and you hoped for the best. So, in regards to the people that we will leave behind,

Orfas, who's a little crazy, little Klaus Kinski, who's always got his mind moving, he'd like to share with the group his thoughts, just real quickly, about how he thinks we can abandon them this is a quote by schopenhauer who is like orfos is very german and like severe and he says

mine friends a man never is happy but spends his whole life in striving after something which he thinks will make him so. He seldom attains his gold, and when he does, it is only to be disappointed. He is mostly shipwrecked in the end, and comes into Harvo with a mast and rigging gone. And then it is all one whether he has been happy or miserable for his life

was never anything more than a present moment always vanishing. And now it is over. Is that supposed to be comforting to these people who are about to die?

No, it is simply the situation we find ourselves in and any hemming and hawing over those we leave behind cannot be helped. Well, I for one am grateful that we have time to do poetry readings before we escape. It really is

something to be thankful for. You're thinking distraction. Reduce person. Well, I mean, you have to just clarify exactly how we're chained, what we're chained to. Are we all chained to something

or just to each other? To each other. You have chains around both your feet and chained to each other so that you guys are just chained to each other. Then each other. You have chains around both your feet and chain to each other. So if you guys want to interrupt. All right, well, for just chain to each other, then we'll talk to everybody

and we'll say we're all going at the same time. And I'll slip out of the chains or the wizard can slip out of the chains along with Orphos. And the main point is we just created distraction long enough to get far enough away and then we might have a little bit of time

to break the chains of the people that were still chained. So who makes the first move? So Ferrazzo will wild shape into a fox and slip straight out of her chains. And she'll... Roll a stealth check. Oh.

But a fox stealth check. Fox stealth check. Natural eight. So... Okay. So you wild shape into a fox. The chains fall

from your feet. I turn back to the group and I say, as a fox, are you coming? Oh, that's cool. She can wild speak. If we are going,

we should go now. What's happening next? She's a fox. What's happening? Who's doing what? I cast it on myself because I believe in myself. Reduced person. You're reduced person on yourself. Roll a stealth check. I'm sure that has vocal components.

Eleven. Eighteen on the die. Eleven. Eighteen on the die. Jesus. With the first of the five goals. So you turn into a fox. The chains drop from your feet. You start an almond on your mania

as quiet as you can casting reduced person. That's a full round casting. Full round casting. One of the moss trolls looks at you. These moss trolls.

Rises the alarm. Gristlecrack comes lumbering up, notices that one of the chains is gone, sees what you are doing. Stops it. Shit. Gristlecrack just looks at everybody. And then she walks over to Pembroke.

She raises her fist And she hammers Pembroke In the chest No She hammers Pembroke For 14 points of damage We Fight me Come back

Or your friend will die! Oh, shit. Hammer is Pembroke again. This is brutal. For 15 points of damage. This is a huge giant chest. Boom! Into Pembroke's chest.

Come back! No. Or he dies! Go! And I'm using message like, run! No, Pembroke! I die! And I'm using messes like, run! No! Pamper! Parasible is going to scamper

a good 50-60 feet away and wild shape back into ASMR form and call the Gristlecrack and say, I'm not very far. Would you like to come and get me? Or are you too... What's the word? Coward.

To do so. I am but a frail human. Do you know this man? I see him through town. He is old. He will die soon. Yes, he will die soon. Maybe one or two more strikes from my fist.

If you don't get into the chains. She hits him again. 16 points of damage. I am out. Unconscious. Unconscious. Oh, no. No!

One more strike and he dies forever. Get back into your chains. And Farazza says, I am sorry, my friend. And she wild shapes into a hawk and flies away. And Farazza flies away. Oh! Roll to stabilize.

There's no reason Lor cannot try to stabilize him. He doesn't have to stabilize himself necessarily. You can stabilize from afar? I'm right next to him. We're chained together. Alright, so you see him die. So I see him die. I roll a heal check. Natty 18 plus 9

heal skill. So you stabilize him. How many points away? I say no! No! I'm one point away from permanently dying. Yeah, and I hold over him. I start to like patch his wounds and I hold my hand up to her. He didn't try to escape. Don't make him die for her

sins. It's like blood bubbling up out of my mouth. Yeah, I mean, you imagine a fist the size of a fucking bookcase. Boom! Boom! Boom, Parasa. He dies and you don't have your tribute. She backhands Lork.

Boom! Fuck! Seven points of damage. and you don't have your tribute. She backhands Lork. Boom. Fuck. Seven points of damage. Works permanently. With a fist. Boom. I'm used to being slam damaged. You're not on the defense.

He's staggered, I would imagine. Yeah. You would save him while this one Skitters and flies away And this one talks And talks and talks Keep close watch on them

If any of them does anything Kill them overnight And she leaves And the trolls are like standing staring at all of you unconscious Pembroke I don't know what Orpheus's state is I love Pembroke

so much Razzmatazz take Razzmatazz skidabarikido those would be great last words Taram Aram

And Ymir Lork Pembroke Orphus Faraz is gone Is she? Is she? Flew off

The next morning Everybody roll a perception check 17 The next morning, everybody roll a perception check. 17. Not so good from Lorc Masterflex. Orphos rose 21. 21. 35 for Farazud. 35 for Farazud.

She's long gone. Is she? You wake up. How's that Dunkin' Donuts breakfast you're having? Pembroke, you wake up with a night's sleep. Orphus, you see Whistlecrack off in

the distance doing some sort of summoning around a fire. And you see the fire that she's like talking to the fire and the fire is like taking the shape of a giant. And she's like speaking to this spirit to the fire, and the fire is taking the shape of a giant. She's speaking to this spirit in the fire, praying to it or whatever.

You notice that off in the distance. Do I see this? What did you roll for perception? I didn't. Oh, yeah, because you're awake now. I'm awake now. Not on death's door, but awake. 26.

Oh, yeah, you see it, too. So can I do a spellcraft check or anything? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. 20. Do I see it? Can I do it? Yeah, yeah. You and Orphus and Pembroke see it.

Yeah, 18. That's good. Pembroke, you're just like... You see through the tree she's doing what's known as a spirit summoning. It's like a ritual to tap into the power and insight of her ancestral spirits. It gives her certain bonuses mechanically. She comes back over after the ritual is done. And she looks over all of you

and she's like, I don't think any of you realize how special you are. You have all been chosen as tributes to understand the honor what you will give

to the reign of the storm tyrant. And you have been nothing but ungrateful. I spoke to my tiger giant ancestrycestry this morning And I understood What it is

And she just Leans over and her hot breath Is like on Pembroke's neck Stinky breath God knows what she ate She does the same to Orpheus And Taram and Aram And Ymir

Just breathing on all of them And Razzmatazz Gives him a quizzical look And then she gets to Lorik And she stands back And she's like... She really looks into your eyes. And she says, do you know why I take the feet of the dead?

I don't. We take the feet of the dead To show our dedication To the cause We take the feet of the dead To let And of course The storm tyrant know

That we are of a mind That we are all For the cleansing Of the small folk We take the cleansing of the small folk. We take the feet of the dead as a trophy to show the sacrifices we've made.

I look at you and I see a man already dead. There will be no more escapes. Bring him. And the trolls grab Lork and they pull him over. Reflexing. Oh no.

See him do? Natural one. And they pull him over. Reflexing. I don't know. See him do? That's for one. They pull him over and they lay him like on the ground and put his feet up on a wood block.

Fucking Jamie Lannister! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Just like the drinking game you heard in the tavern in the killing ground but it is just her taking a great club to your feet and hacking

away at your ankles smashing them not even cutting them off pulverizing them as you just scream you guys just all see this she's just hacking away

And eventually So they're not even cut off No they're pulverized And they just lay there Your two limpless feet After probably like 25, 30 pounds Oh god Troy And the trolls just leave you there

She says If anyone else Would like to join your leader The dead man Please Try another escape And she leaves And leaves you to the trolls

You can still smell in the air The cook fires The Finial Smicks murder And cooking And now it's just Lark is just laying there You know Dead

Dead man Can't even talk Can't even talk Days A couple days pass, and they're just dragging you along, literally dragging you, Lork, in a giant net, a net that could fit like ten Lorks.

They're dragging you on the ground. The trolls dragging you, dragging you, dragging you. And the next day, they light a very different fire. In Pembroke, you're still in rough shape, but you hear what they're talking about, and you keep hearing that they want to make a signal fire. But you can't quite understand a signal to what, to who.

You're in the middle of nowhere. You look up around you, you just see rock walls on either side of you. It doesn't make sense. Taram is in bad shape. He's an old man. He's at least your age, Pembroke. Oh, I'm sorry. Was he the guy we've been looking for?

Yes, he is the head of Sherman's Fortress. The head of the Council of Elders. And he is not in good shape. Chairman's fortune. The head of the Council of Elders. And he is not in good shape. He's not battle strong, and so he's not doing well.

And his sons are like, they're young men, so they're okay, but they're not in fighting shape. They take the net that Lork has been dragged in, and they start putting everyone else in the gnat. Orphus. Pembroke. Amir.

Excuse me, Yamir. Aram. Taram. Razzmatazz. The spell is broken, by the way, at this point. Yeah, so you just have this maniacal red cap chained. He's defenseless.

He doesn't have his weapon, but he's not happy. He's in there. Sorry, Troy. He's part of our story now. Poor Edward. What a wonderful party he is. And they tie the net up,

and you guys are just in this weird netting, and the fire... Bristlecrack is chanting over the fire and throwing things into it, and it goes from orange to blue to white to purple. And I'd say, Farazza, if you are still around... Oh, she is. You're the first one to notice...

Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. After a couple hours, a red dragon comes down. Oh, shit. After a couple hours, a red dragon comes down and lands in front of Gristlecrack, and it's the only time you've seen Gristlecrack afraid. She stands back in, like, awe and just opens her arms to this tribute

of all of you wrapped up in netting. And the dragon grabs the net and its talons and with ease lifts it into the air. Lork, you're unconscious at this point. It's just too much. lifts it into the air. Lork, you're unconscious at this point. It's just too much. Lifts it into the air and flies you off. Farazza, you're just following?

Yep. She's been tracking them the whole time. You're just following this red dragon through the air. Are you invisible or are you just an animal? I'm an eagle. Flying right above the treetops. You're just following this red dragon through the air. Are you invisible or are you just an animal? I'm an eagle. Flying right above the treetops. You see rift drakes in the distance.

You're a little wary, but your eyes are fixated on this red dragon that just flies over the hills. You see below you, eventually, Farazi, you see giants everywhere. And up in the distance, a enormous structure built directly into the wall. And the dragon flies to the top center

of the cathedral into like an airy built into it. And from your perspective, there's really no safe place you can be to see what else it does from there. But for those of you who are in the net, it drops you there

and leaves you and flies off. You see it fly off and perch itself on a symbol atop this middle cathedral. Within like a half an hour, a couple of stone giants come up and start ushering you one by one downstairs and putting you in cages.

They throw Taram Shinnerman in a cage. He just falls face first onto the ground. He's in rough shape. They throw Amir and Aram into a cage together. They throw Orphus into a cage. They throw Pembroke into a cage.

And in the foremost cage to the left of the stairs, they throw what's left of the lork iron tusk. Ha ha ha. Orvis, you're probably in the best shape of anyone in the group. So you're

the only one that can probably take all of this in. Lork, you're in and out of consciousness. And Pembroke, you're an old man. You're obviously a very powerful person, but you almost get killed. I'm probably drifting in and out of consciousness. But Orvis, you're able to see

there's a big table in the middle. There's braziers that are constantly lit, ever since you came into the room. And instruments of either torture or branding all around you see the stone giants uh take yamir and aram and pull them out from time to time downstairs oh and you just hear like, blood curdling screams. Flaying their skin.

And they come back up and they're missing huge chunks of their skin. Both of them from time to time. Flaying. They're flaying. Flaying. The skin man. And then there's a moment where look, you're conscious Barely

You've got like Mechanically 24 points of non-lethal damage Pembroke, you've got like 17 points of non-lethal damage But you're You're awake enough to hear The sound of a bear growling. And you look up and you see a dire bear and two stone giants.

Maybe a dire bear, maybe a cave bear, you're not quite sure. You haven't really come across a bear that looks exactly like this. The same two stone giants that brought you down, you would think you're not sure. They all look the same after a while. And then all of a sudden, up the stairs comes a clearly very important stone giant with a bearkin rug around his neck. Sort of like a leaves, a circlet of leaves around his head.

And he just looks at all of you. Taram Shinaman is like clinging to life. This guy is on death's door. He's starving. Yamir and Aram are looking up. Cut blood, bloody open sores. Orpheus is the only one with any sort of

life in this situation. And this stone giant just looks about the room and says, Who among you comes for Minderhall? Do any of us know who Minderhall is? No? Just a question. You can do knowledge of life for sure. Yeah, I have that.

I don't have it. 19? Lork life for sure. Yeah, I have that. I don't have it. 19? Lork's not sure. You would know. It's a defunct god of the stone giants. Yeah, so, yeah. Padlock's meant to hold the fallen god of the stone giants why

why do you ask this do you come for Minderhall no no no Orphos says I come No. No. No. Orphar says,

I come for unimaginable power. And I think that devoting myself to Minzahar might be the gateway there. No? No? of to Minderhall might be the gateway there, no? He looks around to the other two stone giants and is kind of taken

aback by the idea. We are amassing an army of those dedicated to Minderhall. We are only taking the best. I never thought to have one of the small folk

be one of us. I was the best of my town, Deepgate. But they never accepted me. You see, I have a touch of the aberrant in my bloodline, and I have inside of me the power of many of the small folk, the orcs, the humans, and this aberrant touch.

You see, in combat I can reach a little bit further. And I can enlarge myself to embrace your power. And embrace it I shall. And with my power, with Gorub, who is an ally to any god you may worship. If your aim is conquest, I, I can be a powerful ally to you indeed. It is almost as if you are one of us already. It seems as if we have found our disciple. He looks to the two stone giants.

Bring him to the table. We will have the initiation. What? And the stone giants open Orphus's cage. Fucking Grant. Fuck. And they bring you out. Do you... Do any fighting?

They're pretty calm with you, but they're bringing you to the table in the middle of the room. As I walked past Lork, I said, I was right about Gorum, and you, you were wrong. And I joined them. Oh. Gorum. They lay you on the table.

Pretty gently. And then they strap your arms and legs in. Are they stretching me to get me bigger? Feels a little weird. We're quite expecting this. Sure, it'll be fine. Sounds cool. Orthash stands up

and he grabs Brand. Like a giant poker with a insignia of like a giant poker with an insignia of like a pyramid and an anvil on it. And he lays it in the brazier and just leaves it there for a moment.

And this... It gets red, red hot. You can see the... The metal has changed to bright red. It's some brazier. It's a serious brazier.. That's some brazier. That's a serious brazier. That's a giant brazier.

And he leaves it there for a moment. You wish to join Minderhall? Then join you shall. And he lays the brand on Orpheus' chest. And it starts searing Orpheus's skin. And he keeps pushing, pushing, and pushing, and it starts going straight

through Orpheus's chest and leaving a symbol of Minderhall as it goes all the way through to the table. And then Orathash stands up and reaches into Orphus's chest. Oh my god. And

pulls out one of his lungs. What? Oh shit. And throws it in the brazier. Taram Shinerman sees this and has a heart attack and dies. Oh come on! As Orphus starts

gasping for life, and you see the life go out of his eyes. What the fuck is going on? And Orthesh leans over Orpheus's body as he's... Like gasping for the last breaths of his life with one lung, and just says, Gorham is dead. Words are wind.

You belong to Minderhall. We'll see you next week oh my god I love that guy oh man Thank you. Outro Music