The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 104 - Rock Me on the Dais

Episode Date: May 23, 2017

An unexpected encounter with a strange new species of giant will put the heroes on a dangerous path into the very heart of the Cathedral! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that...

That's right! Did you know it's also covered by most private insurance plans? Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. Who are you? What do you want? The heroes come face to face with a giant.

How do I know if you're a friend or foe? You don't, but we outnumber you. Who may be more than she seems. Did you say true now but some are not so easily convinced she's a giant yes they all deserve to die nestor comes up and it's just all right mike come on and he tries to put him in a headlock and like pull him away and the heroes will strike out on a daring mission i went blind with fury and punched straight through his chest and ripped out his heart, I did. The prophecies foretold of four. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of the Glass Cannon Podcast. Ascannon podcast. It's Grant. I'm Umlo Burger, aka Baron Ashpeak, Orphas Norkem, and Hoshi Rinka.

I just flew back from Madagascar and boy are my arms tired, but at least I didn't end up dead in a ditch like Gormley. But seriously, Madagascar was a beautiful country and it faces a lot of challenges, but if you ever get a chance to visit, you'll be delighted by the landscape and the wonderful people you'll meet there. After missing an intro I should have done a couple episodes ago, I'm very happy to be back and in the swing of things. And I'm happy to let those of you who don't know the name Hoshi Rinka that he is the kitsune cleric I played on GCP Live. This first episode was GM'd by Skid, who was my first GM,

and I am so happy that those of you who are our supporters are able to hear his magic at work as a game master. Now, we released part one of our first GCP Live to Patreon supporters at the $5 tier and up last week, and part two will be up this Wednesday. So if you want to hear Skid run us through a crazy diplomacy mission gone wrong, be sure to go to patreon.com slash glasscanon and pledge at least $5 as soon as you can. If not, we understand, but this is a little something extra

we're making for our fans who are able to support. Thanks to those of you who are supporting and thanks for listening regardless and welcome to episode 104 rock me on the dais you know it's been a long time since i did this but i think it is time for a new house rule whoa you didn't know i was going there, did ya? No! And I'm just gonna make it up on the spot, now that I got your attention. Whenever you fail a perception check, you die instantly.

Now, you gotta stick with me on this, because at first it's gonna sound like I hate Matthew. And that could not be further from the truth. Is this a magus-related house rule? No, it is not. Matthew always watches my cats when I go out of town

because him and his wife are the only people I trust. We're the only ones who have been browbeaten into sending pictures of the cats to Troy. He's very good at it. I'm afraid Grant would pet it and kill it like Lenny from The Bicycle Man. I took care of foster dogs.

I nursed my dog back from health and rubbed ointment in his eye until it healed. But that's a dog, Grant. You're more of a dog. His cats are the size of my dog. That's true. That's just the fur. This actually was a suggestion

for one of our listeners. It all goes back to the house rule that we made a while back that an unconfirmed 20 is max damage. And the idea of that was that when you get so close to critting but you don't crit, it just sucks that it's like anticlimactic that you don't get anything out of it. But now where you guys are 9th level now? 9th level, the max damage is almost usually better

than the crit cards, even with double damage. Like, you tend to do better damage with the unconfirmed crit. So, it was actually Shane McLaughlin, one of our listeners who brought that up, he said, I don't think you guys should look into that. I think you guys should look into that. I think you guys should look into the max damage if you don't confirm your crit thing.

We're at a point where you're at a point where it's arguably better to not confirm the crit. So you can do, in Matthew's case against the dragon, 64 damage or more instead of a measly crit card. So what I've thought is like, how can I balance this? And for Nestor multi-shot as well. Right. That's better than actually confirming the crit. Right, and it also works for me, too,

when I have a Frost Giant doing 3d6 plus 18 damage. If he had unconfirmed crit, that's 36 points of damage. I mean, it can really add up both ways. So I had a really good idea is what I think I could do.

It goes back to something Skid suggested a while ago, so it's a way to introduce a very fun mechanic into the game in one way of doing it rather than doing this all the time. Unconfirmed 20s will do exploding dice. Ah, okay, that's fun. Does that sound fun?

Yeah. Because if we do exploding dice all the time, characters will die every other episode. Yeah. But exploding dice on an unconfirmed crit still could be pretty lethal, but it means like if you do 2d6 plus 4 damage,

you roll your 2d6. If any of those are 6s, you keep rolling those 6s until you stop rolling max damage. So every time you roll max damage on your die, you keep rolling it until it stops.

Yeah, so anytime you have an unconfirmed 20, there's a possibility that you could do insane damage. Just, yeah, exploding dice. there's a possibility that you could do insane damage. Just, yeah, exploding dice. But it's not that likely. Right.

Yeah. Now, I mean, I think Matthew... I think Della is probably going to still take the most advantage out of this just because you roll... We roll 86 on a hit at this point. Even more. If it's Shock and Grasp. If it's Shock and Grasp and I've Shocked the Scimitar as well, it's 10 to 6. Do you attack without Shock and Grasp? Sure. Asking for a friend.

Well, I did. That's what I killed your boy with last week. That's true. He was no boy of mine. But yeah, I mean, I think it's still going to do crazy damage. Are you going to do 64 damage? Maybe. Once in a while you might do even more. Theoretically, you could cause a million damage.

Theoretically. Theoretically, you could cause a million damage. Theoretically. Theoretically. And in the... That's mythic exploding dice. Come on. You pulverize the creature to the ground. In the world of popular tabletop paper and pen RPGs, the most common game that uses exploding dust is

Shadowrun, right? Oh, do they do that in Shadowrun? Shadowrun's a D6 system. Do they do that? I think it's standard by the rules it's exploding. I believe so, yeah. That's Tom, our buddy Tom. We're going to get a lot of emails about that false information, Grant.

But I think that'll be fun. We'll see how it works. If we don't like it, we'll try something else. But that will work for my creatures as well. We'll wait until Troy rolls a 20 and doesn't confirm

and doesn't do enough damage. Right. I would like to submit a new house rule. I think we should start every episode with a new house rule. I just really

start getting crazy. At this point, we would have 104 new house rules. We can't even remember the real rules. We would have to have another person in the room that only reminded us of house rules. We could do a house rule

that's only for that episode. Oh, that's kind of fun. We'll do that every multiple of five. It's like a wild card. Right. This episode, all jokers are wild. Suicide King. Not only does Shadowrun use exploding dice, it uses the metric system. Gross.

Gross. No, forget it. Communists! No thanks, Jimmy Carter. I always wanted Shadowrun to be a better game, but I didn't play it enough. I love the idea. You know this new Cyberpunk video game coming out by the people that made Witcher. It looks amazing.

Cyberpunk 2077. It was based on CD Projekt Red. It's based on the tabletop Cyberpunk role-playing game. That's why I'm excited about it. I love that game. It came out in 1986. I didn't know this was happening. Why was I not told about this? Still, it's in development hell.

No one knows when it's going to come out. They announced it like two or three years ago. Skid and Isle beat Red Dead Redemption 3 four times by the time it comes out oh easily alright let's talk about the game we're playing why not last episode

great combat huh fun a lot of table jumping Joe yelled at me after the episode went off the air for giving Matthew the bottle cap for Magic Missile and not him for doing the diving leap off the table. I mean, it wasn't even like it was later. It was the same round. You were like, you know what, Matthew? Bottle cap.

That was a hell of a first level spell. And while I agreed with you. Man, what a bold choice with a spell that always hits and does low damage. It was just the way he did it. I don't know. I seemed to like it. So I agreed with you, Joe. I should have given you one. No, there are plenty of reasons to give a bottle cap there. The hold was

great. It was a good use of a minor spell like that. Plus, I don't like giving you bottle caps. They're wasted on you. So you roll two ones? Yeah. A three wasted on you. So you're all two ones? Yeah. A three and a four. Great.

Who's playing Umlo today? I'm Umlo. Yeah! What does he wear? What does he wear? Your Umlo? I'm Umlo. Yeah, that's right.

Are you wearing the giant nail scale mail? No, I'm wearing the supposed to be a best plate. This is going to be awesome. Oh, boy. I'm a barbarian. You guys kill two ogres, two hill giants,

one frost giant that Nestor then maims, pulls out one of his teeth, maybe as a retribution for the chunk he took out of old Jotar. Then you say,

all right, you find some potions of cure light wounds. You find a plus two chain shirt that you can't use. It's too large. Sir Will does a pretty shitty perception around the room. And then you say, okay, let's start checking out these rooms. Della, perception at the door. I think Baron went with her.

And you don't hear anything. Didn't really roll a good perception. You walk in, see a pair of legs and just look up at this rust-colored woman. Shaved sides of her head. Red ponytail. And she's played by Ruby Rose. Ruby Rose.

Ruby Rose. She's on Arms is the New Black. That's right. I knew Matthew would know. She's great. Who is she on that? I can't remember the character's name, but she's the... I'll look it up in a minute. Bring up a picture. She's like this

sort of androgynous looking woman. She's Australian. Is she Australian? Oh, wait. She works in the panties, right? When they're doing the panty job? Never mind. You can cut this out. No, Skid, I want to hear that. I want to hear more about the panty job.

Yeah, right. That's her. They're doing the little industry in the prison where they're making women's lingerie. Oh, right. Season three? That's her name. Yes, right. Spoiler alert, guys.

Seriously. Yeah, sorry. Sorry for anyone who has not yet watched Orange is the New Black. Well, if you look at the screen here. She just flew on like a floating head. That was horrifying. You will see her face. Kind of looks like Ruby Rose, right?

It does. She kind of looks like her. She's a little angry. A little angrier. She turns. Well, Della turns, looks looks like her. She's a little angry. A little angrier. She turns. Well, Della turns, looks up at her. Help!

Help! What do you do? There was some confusion on the intertubes this week as to whether she was calling for help to protect her from us or asking us for help to protect her from something else. I will clarify it then. She yells help, help and looks to her left, looks to her right and just grabs a great sword and holds it up.

Roll a perception check, Della. 21. She's just standing there with the great sword at you and you recognize the great sword. It's Gor standing there with the great sword at you. And you recognize the great sword. It's Gorim's thorn. Whoa! Killer.

Help! Who are you? Entruders! Thieves! If you put the weapon down, we'll let you live. What do you mean, we? Who are you? You think I would come alone? Show yourselves. Who are you? What are you mean, we? Who are you? You think I would come alone? Show yourselves.

Who are you? What are you doing here? Is she Irish? Just checking. Yeah, I'm working on it. Della will... She'll gesture back to kind of come up to the others to come up with her.

Stick their heads in. Mind you, she's 14 feet tall. She's not not imposing. I'm holding a flaming sword, too, so I'm not nothing. But she's got two bodies on you, and she's holding Gorm's thorn. And as Baron walks in, he's going to cycle through his detect alignments as she's talking to everyone else to determine what alignment she has. There are somatic components to that, so you're going to be doing this.

I'm going to be doing a weird Della dance. What are you doing? What kind of spell are you casting? I'll strike you down, I will! He's sensing to see if you're friend or foe. Well, how do I know if you're friend or foe? You don't, but we outnumber you. Who are you?

What do you want? You detect that she is neutral. Got it. We're here to save our friends. What friends? The small folk aren't allowed here in the Cathedral of Minderhall. What are you doing here? You're going to get yourself killed.

Your friends out there didn't last very long against us. They are no friends of mine. What do you mean they didn't last? They're dead. What do you mean they're not friends of yours? Are you here against your will? No, I'm just a simple scullery maid here in the Cathedral. I do you mean they're not friends of yours? Are you here against your will? No, I'm just a simple scullery maid here in the cathedral.

I mean you no harm, but I'll give you harm if you bring it to me. Della will unflame her scimitar. She'll douse the flame and sheath it. Are all of you in the room, or is it just Della and Baron? Nestor's kind of walking up.

He's probably like 30 feet away. Like, he heard the commotion and started making his way over. Right, and the doors are like... Wendella waved us up. Well, that too. Sir Will yelled, for Highbury, and then charged through the door. Smashed through the door and impaled her heart. For Highbury!

No, I imagine he's kind of trotting up carefully as well. And the doors are 40 feet wide. You know, these are two 20-foot doors. It's so unimaginably fucking huge. This is a big place. St. John's Cathedral. I put my blade away.

I put yours away. And I'll tell you, what you're holding there belonged to a friend of mine. And unkind things were done to him for it. Please, I'm just a maid. I don't want any trouble. Sense motive? Sure.

Yeah, I'm gonna do one also. 17. Uh, 30. Della, you... I think she is a maid. She looks like a maid. She's dressed like a maid,

seems like a maid, but something's not right. Nestor, you know that there is way more to this story than what she's saying. But she does not appear dangerous. Does her motive seem to be hostile or

self-defense like this right now? Fear. Not really self-defense so much as like she shouldn't even be this situation right now should not be happening and she should not be a part of it.

Baron's gonna say what's your name girl, What's your name, girl? What's yours? Mine's Baron Ashpeak. And you? Oh, my name's Nestor Coinlove. Coinbar name, coinbar name,

chose me old dad, he used to say. And you? Sir Will flips up his Visor Yeah, his visor on his helmet He's like, I'm Sir Willemette Keswick Son of Emmett, Earl of Highbury He's quiet, quiet, don't speak so loud I apologize, I get excited

And you, miss? I'm Delanarn Delanarn, and you? I'm Umlo Umlo, I think, has to roll a save And you? I'm Amlo. Amlo, I think, has to roll a save. He does. Oh, he does.

Oh, dear. We'll save, right? Oh, dear. Fail. So Amlo steps into the room, says, I'm Amlo, and then feels this overwhelming urge to want to attack her. To want to, yeah, to attack her. Does anyone do anything? Umlo starts stepping up.

Yes, Sir Will will immediately try to impose Lexington between Umlo and the giant and say, Umlo, no! No, she is, Baron has said she's not evil. She is not attacking us yet. Please, hold yourself. She's a giant.

Yes. They all deserve to die. I know. Do you mean us harm? Do you mean us ill will at this moment? I don't mean any ill will at this moment, but you shouldn't be here. You're in great danger. It's not this moment I'm worried about.

Put the weapon down. Put your weapon down and he will stop attacking you. Struggling against Umlo. He seems like a man possessed, but all right. And she drops Gorm's thorn. Umlo, see, she's unarmed. You would not attack an unarmed foe or an unarmed person. We did not know to be an enemy.

And Umlo's, the steel hand with the spear is still in attack position. And he reaches over with his other hand to try to bring it down. But he's not quite strong enough. It's like Doctor Strangely. I don't mean to alarm you, but I'm going to need some help on that one. Nestor comes up and he says, alright, Mike,

come on, and he just tries to put him in a headlock and pull him away. Okay. And drag him out of the room. Yeah, just drag him out of the room. So Nestor and I... Pardon us! We'll be back when he calms down and puts a blindfold on him. Sir Will is going to say, we mean you no harm. We are trying to find out what is going on here

and why our friends have been taken captive for tribute. If you help us, we will not harm you. And I'd like to roll a diplomacy check. Okay. Does anyone want to aid Sir Will? All right, so everyone try to aid. You can bottle cap. You can do whatever you want. Natural 20.away. All right, so everyone try to aid. You can bottle cap. You can do whatever you want.

Natural 20. Natural 19. All right, so plus four. Plus four. 28. 28. Something doesn't seem right. Something doesn't seem right, but if you mean me no harm,

I suppose we can talk, but then you've got to go. My name is Farron. Farron. That's a lovely name. Thank you. Where did you come from, Farron? I... I'm not like the ones you say you killed,

and like the other giants who have come to Minderholz Valley seeking to join the Storm Tyrant's army. I was drawn to the cathedral to seek out the roots of my ancestry. But I must ask you, since you are clearly far from where you should be, why are you here, and where did you come from? Part of Urathash's mission, it seems, was to gather tributes to Arthur, the storm tyrant.

Those tributes were allies of ours, the small folk, as you call us. We were taken captive. We were tortured, beaten, walked through a merciless march. Some had their feet cut off, and in the end, they were sacrificed to your God. We have come to save those people. We do not wish to hurt anyone who does not desire the genocide of the small folk of Galerion. That is our only reason for being here. To save our friends and prevent genocide. But how did you get here?

How did your friends get caught in the first place? Urathash doesn't take just anyone as tribute Well, many were taken from a village Known as... Shinemon's Fortune Thank you, Della Known as Shinemon's Fortune And there was a giant attack there

A great attack In which many were taken And walked in this awful march Right to the cathedral. We don't know where the tributes were offered, but we do know that they required, or someone required, tribute.

Well, the machinations of Urathash and these giant attacks that are happening all over the land are no business of mine. That's not why I'm here. So why don't you go your way, and I'll go mine. But I warn you,

this is a dangerous place. If you've made it this far, and you've left death and destruction in your wake like you've left in this room you say you've left, they will find out. And they will seek you out. Or if that she's all, he knows all.

Just go. Would the explanation she just gave account sufficiently for the discrepancy and what I sensed of what she said she was doing and what her intentions were? Or is there still something more that yeah she is she is still feeling you out and has not revealed what her real purpose is listen to me farron the man who owned that sword you just put on the ground is a mighty half-orc warrior. Now, when I met him, I didn't trust anything shade of green that walked and talked.

But as I got to know him, I understood that what makes a man isn't the color of his skin or his height. It's what he does. You seem like decent folk. And I think this Urathosh is an abomination of the type of people that giants can be. We aren't here to destroy Menderhall's temple or to tear down everything here. We're here to stop the advance of giants on little people. We're here to keep more death from happening.

We don't want what happened out there to happen anymore. So if there's anything you can do to help us, you let us know. We want to take the path of least resistance, and I think you can help us. I am a simple disciple of the keeper of the forge. of the Keeper of the Forge.

I am devoted to learning what I can from the Oracle. And I just visit her to bring her food and other supplies and soak up the knowledge, the great knowledge she possesses from centuries here at the Cathedral. But this must remain a secret, because she and Earthash do not see eye to eye. Now her mind may not be what it once was, her vision may be clouded, but I am here to learn from her.

And though Minderhall is new to me, I feel as if I'm gaining strength from his teachings. So you believe in your god, and I'll believe in mine. Do you fear any retribution or damage that Urathosh could visit upon the Keeper of the Forge? I do not think he would outwardly attack her. I believe he's waiting for her to die. Hmm.

But what his plans are here, I know not. What are your plans? Obviously you're strong. A band of brothers and sisters to get this far. But where? And why? Where did this all begin?

Why would you end up here? A friend of ours is gravely ill. And the man who did it to him was coming here. He was another small folk. Where is this friend of yours? He's back in True Now.

Her eyes bug out. Did you say True now I did I have heard her Say that word Over and over again I was never sure if she was asleep

Or awake Sometimes her ramblings Go on and on I do my best to I was never sure if she was asleep or awake. Sometimes her ramblings go on and on, and I do my best to keep up. I knew not what it meant, this true now. It is a place, a location. A city. The prophecy spoke of four, though And as far as I can see You are five

Why are you Seeking out Minderhall's cathedral? Do you seek the forge? We do. This, I am told, this powerful wizard seeks to strike the hammer of Oskroth upon the forge. What hammer? The hammer of Oskroth.

Oskrath. Oskrath? It resided in a tomb, an ancient tomb under Trunau. Have you seen this hammer? I have not. I've seen it.

We've all seen it, except for him. What does it look like? Describe it. They said a simple blacksmith's hammer, but with powerful magics. You have this hammer in your possession, or it was taken from you? It was taken by this evil man who we seek.

Did it possess magic, this hammer? Great magic? Great magic. More powerful than anything we have in our possession. We were unable to unravel all of its mysteries before it was taken from us, however. to unravel all of its mysteries before it was taken from us, however. Sir Will pulls the cape that he wears away from the front of Oscars armor, and he says, the giant that wielded it wore this armor. And he shows her, he's like, this is Oscars armor. It shines with a radiant light of righteousness.

This creature was buried beneath True Now. For some reason, we have not yet found out. But this evil wizard has taken this hammer and wants to strike it on the forge. We seek to know also where this forge is. He took the hammer from you. This hammer, if it is what you say, is Aggramosh, the hammer of unmaking. The prophecies foretold of four who would return the hammer

to Minderhall's forge. But there are five of you. And no hammer. You must... You must speak to Atena. She will give you an audience, but... I cannot take you to her directly, as my role as her disciple must remain a secret. I can tell you where to find her, though, but you must act quickly.

She rests in the forge-heart, underneath the cathedral. You will have to enter the sanctuary to seek an audience with her. And therein lies the problem. You must go now, but there may be obstacles in your way, if you understand my meaning. If you wait until nightfall, these obstacles will be too great to overcome,

for that's when Urathash gathers his recruits for a nightly sermon. You'll be far too outmatched. However, if you were to go now, the worst you'll run into is a handful of recruits being sworn in, maybe some giants napping or lounging about who have come to pray to Minderhall. I would think, though, that if you've been able to handle yourself thus far, here in the grog hall and wherever else you've been in the cathedral, you'll be fine you must

go before nightfall look to the base of the statue and you will find your way dwarf are you experienced in the ways of stone making? I am.

Look to the statue, but you must make haste, or if Ash sees all, if you have left destruction in your wake, he already knows it. What will you tell anyone who comes into this room what happened to those outside of it? She puts her hands up. I am but a simple scullery maid here. But if you are not the Chosen Ones, you will never make it out of Minderhall's Valley. Okay. All right.

Della's going to creep over and pull up Gorham's thorns. She's going to return this to its rightful owner, if you don't mind. She does not mind. I'm confiscating this. Can I do a sense motive retrospectively on needing to leave now and whether or not that is actually her misleading us or just, you know. Sure. I'm sure it's fine, but I just wanted to do it for.

Sure, sure. For story's sake. 22. 22. 22. Yeah, I mean, as far as you know, she is being truthful and knowing what Nestor saw when he went at night to look in there, it corroborates with her story.

Let me talk to you a little bit about the room now that you're in there. Yeah. There are just enormous crooked shelves of raw timber lining the walls. And they're bucking beneath the weight of bulging sacks of grain. Large crates stacked up on the shelves as well. Cracked plates. Not the fine china.

There's a large wash tub with murky water sitting in one corner. And in the opposite corner, an enormous broom is propped up against the wall. You see dry goods, jerky, grains, root vegetables, as well as blankets, eating utensils, nails, rope, wax, all sorts of mundane items. And you also see what you can only imagine is the equipment of the prisoners. Wow. Great.

Among Gorham's Thorn as well. Nice. So we throw in the bag and... Sir Will's going to say, we were badly hurt in the battle with the giants outside this door. Do you know of any place where the giants may keep combat or healing supplies? It is, after all, a cathedral.

Perhaps you have a place where people mend, or... If they are injured, they can go for help. I'm assuming you've got magics among you. Next door is the larder. There may be some potions in there. Immediately next door? Immediately next door. Okay, we'll look in there.

Thank you. Should I do a perception around the room? You mentioned a broom. Anything special? You'd attack broom. Is there anything special? You'd attack magic on it? Sure. It is magical, as a matter of fact. Spellcraft?

Sure. 18. 18. Even though it's giant-sized and cannot carry a giant's weight, it was just discarded here and eventually forgotten. And it is actually a broom of flying.

Gormley! Gormley, if only Gormley were here. Oh, come on! Oh, man. Throw it in the bag. Throw it in the bag. Throw it in the bag. 54 episodes too late. She could fly on her own.

That would be awesome. Only 54 episodes too late. We just missed it by 54. What's the name of the Keeper of the Flame again? Atena. And this is Farron. Farron. Farron.

Is there any message you'd like me to give to Atena when I see her? I will say that she probably already knows you're on your way. She will not be pleased that you don't have Agrimosh, that it was in your hands. But I'm sure

she's seen that as well. And this prophecy you seek of, what is its conclusion? Has she shared that with you? I do not understand. This dwarven tongue?

This prophecy. This prophecy you seek of, yes. This prophecy you seek of yes this prophecy you speak of ah yes ah the one i speak of sure what about it uh what is its conclusion you you know that four people are coming with with uh agramosh eterna does not have the faculties she once had. In her mind, things that happened a hundred years ago happened yesterday. So she only parses

out information to me as she sees fit. But she can, and I'm sure she will, tell you more. Got it. Cool. By the way, that broom of flying is awesome.

It's pretty cool. You can send it somewhere. You can tell it you know the location. You can send it to that location, and it will go on its own. So cool. So you can send it to pick somebody up. Oh, that's great. My God, we could fly Lork out of here.

And a normal broom of holding can carry up to 200 pounds. Wow. What are the rules on, like, do you have to know where it's going? Or can you just be like, San Francisco? You have to have a good idea of the location and layout of the destination. You can also just ride it and it has overland flight. I mean, we have to take it. Yeah, we'll definitely take it.

Yeah, of course. Okay. I didn't know if she was like, ah, that's my broom. How would I keep up my ruse as a scullery maid? That's my favorite broom. All right, so you want to go into the larder next door? Please. Sir Will is also going to thank her for her guidance and her service to her oracle.

How tall is Sir Will? Sir Will is 3'6", I think. 3'6 is about standard. You've only been fighting giants, and now you're having a conversation with one, and you're just looking up at underneath her chin. And she's like very attractive. Oh, he's 3'3". 3'3".

So she's got a solid eight and a half feet on her. Yeah, so he's craning his head up. Thank you, is what you say? He says, you serve your master well, you will be rewarded. No. No, he just

wants to show, I don't know how to say it right now, but he wants to show his appreciation for her dedication, like as an acolyte to this woman. Yeah. In her devoted religious service, which he's currently struggling with, he wants to compliment her on hers. Despite being, obviously,

with so many violent, evil creatures all around her in hiding, this is tough. Who do you worship, young man? Yomadai and Shailen. Yomadai and Shailen?

Will those work well together? I never found religion until I came here. It is a powerful ally and requires a piety and devotion that is difficult.

But if you are able to keep your faith and stay strong, you can do the unimaginable. Well, I'm trying myself. I'm new to faith. But I do feel the strength that Minderhall has given me.

Good luck. Be careful. And may Minderhall guide your way. Do you as well. And he walks out side by side with Lexington. And he walks out side by side with Lexi Tiddity. He's just so tiny compared to her. Tink, tink, tink, tink, walks out.

And Umlo is still out there. Hurry, Hatter. Holding his fist. Let's remember, it's not obsession. It's just suggestion. If he is told over and over this is a very, very bad idea, he'll get it. He'll get it. He'll get it.

He'll come around. So, Baron, you want to check out the larder, correct? Yes. Is there a check I can do, by the way, on slag giants? Know where they're from or anything about them? Sure. Knowledge looks. Knowledge tone look.

Can do that. 24. You know who can do that? Nestor Korn. 25. I can. I made that up. Of course You know who can do that? Nestor Korn. 25. I can. I made that up. Of course you did.

Your Sir Will. I would like to know one point more than Grant. 25 also. Okay. That's not what Joe got. No, 25 also is correct. No, no. Grant, didn't you get 25?

24. Oh, 24. Joe just tried to walk. Oh, I know more than what? I'm just reading some of the flavor of them. They have long limbs with lean muscles. They stand 14 feet tall and weigh 3,000 pounds. Oh, my God.

How are we killing these things? 3,000 pounds. Wow. How does that even happen? You know that the most important thing to slag giants is their work. Their inherent understanding of metalworking and resistance to fire allows them to craft arms and armor from inside their huge forges, sometimes working the metal with their bare hands.

Wow. They are giants devoted to metallurgy. Slag giants. Oh, that's cool. That's very cool. For a dwarf too. I appreciate that. They have the demeanor of a stone giant, but the aura of a fire giant. And they're like those things from Zelda.

Stop talking about Zelda. It's the best game you'll never play. Here's a bestiary picture of a typical slag giant It's like cool She looks like a human Just really really really tall Fine bone structure

The 3,000 pound human She looks nothing at all like Gransildek No So let's look in that larder Alright so You see perishable foodstuffs all over the place. It's stuffed with beer, wine, crates of apples, blocks of cheese that look like they're moldy. Dried shanks of meat hang from the ceiling.

It's like room temperature there as well. It's very strange. It's not like you would think it's not a great place to store food. To store meat. But roll a perception check. Shit. 23. 14.

23. You find a wand. Oh, here we go. Spellcraft. Yep. You know what? Save it. You've seen a wand of Cure Light Wounds. Nice. You know what? Save it. You've seen one of Cure Light

Wounds. Nice! It has 22 charges on it. Oh, okay. All right. So you! Dallor Baron, who takes it? Up to you. Why don't I take it? Because I could feasibly be doing it in combat if need be.

Where you're usually going to be shooting shit. You'd be laying out damage. Sure, take it. So you got, what'd you get? Two potions of Cure Light, two Cure Mod, and one Cure Serious. Yeah, so let's use them right now.

I'm not kidding. If we're gonna go now to this to the statue, if we're gonna walk into the cathedral right now, we need to heal up. Did she tell us how the route to take to get there? She didn't. Well, she said the statue, would Nestor recognize what she's talking about? Was there a particular statue as like a centerpiece of the cathedral?

When Nestor looked in at the sermon, behind Urathash was a gigantic statue of Minderthal. And we're looking for lies in thepiece of the cathedral. When Nestor looked in at the sermon behind Urathash was a gigantic statue of Minderthal. And we're looking for lies in the shadow of the statue. We're in the larder. She can't hear you. It's a Lost episode. The other day I watched the first four episodes of Lost again. I think it's still my favorite show. It's a really good show. You mean instead of

prepping the Glass County podcast? Which is obvious, by the way. Dude, I think my Ferrandi watch. It way. Dude, I think my Fahrenheit was pretty good. It was. It was pretty solid. It was pretty good. I even kept the accent up for at least 85%. Really impressed.

Yes, you kept your version of an Irish accent up for 85%. Don't you talk to me like that, O'Brien. You wouldn't know an Irishman if he hit you, and he probably has. Stop working the docks, O'Brien. If I see you back here again. All right, so you guys want to do some healing. You also have two other doors to open. But Nester, Skid, in answer to your question,

she would motion to those other doors that were right to the right of when you walked into the grog hall. She says that leads back into the kitchen. Is it not wiser to just use up charges on the wand and hand out the potions to more people? Because then people can on their own... The good thing about having a potion is like, if you get into trouble,

full withdraw. So let's not use the potions. We can spread those out. Yeah. Spread, spread, spread it out. Alright, we just did the out. Yeah. Spread, spread, spread it out. All right, we just did the healing all off air, so let's just cover who took the potions. We didn't use any potions. We distributed them, and Sir Will took a Cure Light.

Del took a Cure Light. I took a Cure Moderate. Sir Will, you get into melee stuff more often, even if you miss giants with a plus 17 bonus. Do you want to take the Cure Moderate while I take the Cure Light? No. That's fine? Yeah, I'm giants with a plus 17 bonus. Do you want to take the cure moderate while I take the cure light? No. That's fine? Yeah, I'm good with the cure light. Nestor

I took a cure moderate and I also got some of that sweet sweet infernal healing. Oh yeah, the good stuff. Give me the good stuff. And we gave the cure serious to Umlo because he's so down in con. Oh, so I'm so serious. Literally the first. Why so

serious? The first time anyone has ever done anything nice for Umlo. And we popped off that wand a bunch of times. Eight times. Eight times. And I'm good on hit points, but I'm not at max. Della, you're not at max, right? Not at max. Baron, are you at max? I'm at max.

Nestor? Yeah, Nestor's not. And Umlo's not either. So four of the five of us are not at max, right? Not at max. Baron, are you at max? I'm at max. Nestor? Yeah, Nestor's not. And Umlo's not either. Umlo's not either. So four of the five of us are not at max, and we used nine charges on that new wand. Eight, by the way. Eight. So that puts us at... I'm sorry, seven. 14?

15? 14. Remaining. 14 remaining charges. So, all right. We have still more alcoves to look into, right? Uh, yeah. There are two doors between the three alcoves to the north.

Okay. Let's, uh, heedlessly open those up without checking for traps. Nestor, your thoughts? Well, I could actually just look for traps. Yeah, just do that real quick. Yeah. Well, if you want to be a boar. Well, I, I, I am and I do.

So yeah, I'm going to do that real quick. Well, if you want to be a boar. Well, I am, and I do. So, yeah, I'm going to do that. So I'm going to take 10 on those, and that's a 25. Farron leans her head out and says, They're privies. They wouldn't trap the privies. Oh, hey, I'm sorry. What was your name again? Farron.

I overheard. I was standing outside wrestling the dwarf, but they said you were a slag, but I think you're all right. Slag off. Thank you. So, yes, I opened, check out the privy. And I actually use it. I go number two. Okay.

You can't possibly sit on that toilet. I can sit on the edge. I'm sure it's not a porcelain toilet. He's on the edge of the toilet. So each of these two small rooms has a packed earthen floor and a thatched roof. An open trench lined with flagstones runs through the northern portion of each room, forming a crude waste removal system for the giants. Detect magic on each toilet.

Anything? It's like being at a campsite. It's a magic toilet. A magic poo? This privy just runs outside, and you actually, Nestor, as you're dropping something off, you think, like,

I could get out of here if I wanted to it would be disgusting no more disgusting we've done it before right but you're like clearly not squeamish

if you got into a pinch you could probably get out of here noted for later he just pinched a loaf right speaking of pinches Grant you detected magic

on the poo right yeah anything right Mr. Hankey the Christmas poo comes out? You actually detect some great magic. Do you stick your hands in it? Is this muckraking again? Is rag blood tusks going to pop out?

You should definitely stick your hands in it. I'm going to turn to Umlo and say, Umlo, you've got a steel hand. Stick your steel hand stick your stick your steel hand in that poof you feel this overwhelming urge to rub it on your face

like a clay mask no there's no magic in the privy okay Baron do you think we should cover ourselves in the scent of giants

do you think it would be wise before going in the cathedral you first you do it first and then I'll do it. Upload is already smeared. One line underneath each eye. He's like, what? Sir Will, for some reason, I have a reason to doubt your conviction as of late,

so I don't think you'd join me. Guys, stop farting around. All right. Let's go. Let's go the best way possible. I've got these other doors here.

All right. So you go up to the two double doors that were right to the right of when you walked into the grog hall, literally ten feet apart from the doors

that you came in on. Sorry, real quick. We didn't examine any of the southern alcoves with the cook fires and the kettles and everything. Can we just look

through those real quick and make sure there's nothing dangerous? Sure, you did like a sweep looking for danger. But yeah, roll a perception. Give me two perception checks. 29. 29. Alcoves. You got a 19 and a 13. I'm sorry, it's 31. You don't find

anything. It's just they're just cooking up various bits of food. Nothing in the alcoves? Maybe there were some limbs in there? Alright, alright. You always have to take it that next there were some limbs in there. All right. All right. You always have to take it that next. I'm paying the picture. I'm paying the picture. These are cannibals.

Okay. Door into the cathedral. This is a very serious, important door, so no joking around. You guys are all fired up, though. Matthew. Matthew, try and be serious for all of one hour. Look at my face. Do I look like I'm joking?

All right. Put yourselves on the map up to that door. Can you remove the picture of Farron? I'll remove it, but I don't want to. I like it. I feel like I can't see where... Oh, there he is. She's all seen. There he is.

Yeah, Barron is so tiny. Barron's so tiny. Look at him, he's so cute. He looks like Sir Will. Aw, kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kut-ch-kutoochie koochie koochie koochie koochie koochie koochie. Alright. This is actually how Troy talks to his cats. Let me see your gun. Oh, it's sharp. By the way,

by the way, I want to just point this out. Razzmatazz is still in the cage upstairs? Mm-hmm. Well, I think that in the intervening time because... Wait, wait, wait. Meanwhile, back on top of the tower. Ah, right. It's like, oh, hello, Resmetez.

I am here for a moment. And he comes down the stairs and casts Charm Monster. Casts Charm Monster. Natural two. Okay. Got another Charm Monster. Natural two. Okay. Got another week, baby. It's just like, he falls back on his butt in the cage and looks at Pembroke. What happened?

How do we get in here? Oh, you had some sort of fever, some sort of episode. It is good to have you back, my dear. Well, I feel a little sick. I'm sure you do. What? Seriously, where are we? I'll explain it all on the way. Help me up, help me up.

And then we go back upstairs. All right, let's go. So you unlock a now-charmed Razzmatazz. Yes. Bring him up to the top floor where the dragon fight happened. Yep. And it's just Pembroke and Razmataz, and you don't see the people hidden by the spike, Lork, Aram, and Yamir.

Yeah. There's nobody else, right? I don't think so. No. What's going on up here? Is this our way out of here? Yes. Soon enough.

I miss my friends. We are your friends. We are your friends. Okay. Okay. So, just... It's alright. So, we go back, and like... So, he actually has

Rasmus be kind of a nursemaid, as he's still recuperating from his injuries. Let me help you. Yes, please. You're the most startling bedside man I've ever met. If I had my scythe, I'd let you use it as a cane. We'll try to find it.

I'm sure it surrounds you somewhere. He's going to keep him company. So you bring Razzmatazz to the illusion, and he hides under there. What's going on? I'm Raspidaz. I feel like we've met. Where are your feet? I'm in a great deal of pain.

All right. So we're just hanging out here? Meanwhile, back at the cafeteria. I like you guys. Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do. Okay, just so we know what was going on. I like you guys. I like you guys.

Oh, my God. Grant is having a great time. Holy moly. All right, roll perception on this door. I'm going to take 10, and it's actually 28. For traps, 24 normally. Appears to be untrapped. Okay.

And unlocked. All right. I do a stealth check to try to open it. Lexington, be brave. And that's, oh, man. That's 36. And that's, oh, man, that's 36. Tick-tock.

You open the door, and you see a 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30 to 40-foot-wide hallway and about twice as long, leading to another set of double doors. Excellent. Empty room. Can the stealth check carry over? Sure, sure. So I do that, and then I take the stealth check carry over? Sure, sure. So I do that, and then I take another 10 on the door. 28 for traps. 24 normally.

All right. You unlock the second... Well, it was already unlocked. You open the second set of double doors. And what did you roll? A 20... For perception? For stealth. Oh, for stealth. 36. 36. The second set of double doors. And what did you roll? A 20? For perception?

For stealth. Oh, for stealth. 36. 36. Untrapped, unlocked, stealthily open the door. Nobody heard that. And see an enormous and very familiar chamber. Wow. It is dimly lit

by various torches on the walls. Let me explain to you this first section that you see. Oh my god. This is intense. Oh, this is so big.

Oh my god. I don't understand how they fit these maps into a book. I mean, I know it's like each square is ten feet, but even still, this is actually Billy. How does this fit on a page? This is Billy Graham's megachurch. That's basically what it is. Nestor opens the door very stealthily

and you hear in the distance but it sounds like it's a mile and a half away. It's not, but there's you see a huge amphitheater and so the sound is traveling. It's echoing around. It's like that spot in the Capitol building where you can stand and whisper and you can hear perfectly.

Yeah. I understand that. Or in Chichen Itza. It's not a myth. I've done it. Three tiers. I don't believe you. I went to the Capitol building and it's not true.

Three tiers. I'm the new's centerpiece. Oh, wow. Oh, my goodness. So, a great pit. You can't see into the pit. A great pit. You can't see into the pit.

From the middle of this pit rises a wide, round platform of black basalt. A great forge. Its fire, gone cold, sits in the center of the platform. Baby! Along with a massive iron anvil the size of the platform. Baby! Along with a massive iron anvil the size of a cow. Oh my god! Nestor, if you look up, you see the soot-stained ceiling

arches far above the chamber floor. Oh, wow. A bridge of stone connects the platform to a dais at the rear of the hall, where a towering statue of a stone giant ominously overlooks the entire cathedral. This area forms the sanctuary of the Cathedral of Minderhall. You would say the vaulted ceiling is a hundred feet high if it's a yard.

And this is definitely the chamber that I saw when I saw the sermon happening. The only difference now is it appears much more empty. Eighty feet or so above the floor, there are four-foot square openings in the walls on either sides of the forge connected to chimneys within the cathedral's side towers. Right. Ventilation. And both the forge platform and the dais at the rear of the room are 15 feet above the sanctuary's floor.

You don't know what's going on with the pit surrounding the forge itself. The statue itself, by the way, 60 feet tall. Oh, wow. Oh my god. Um. You guys are still in the hallway. And can't see anything. I mean, it's dim light in here. There is fire. We can't see any creatures. And can't see anything. I mean, it's dim light in here.

We can't see any creatures. You don't see any creatures on these three enormous horseshoe benches. I mean, Baron wants to approach that statue that Farron mentioned to look for secret doors. Sure.

I bet he does. He confers with the rest of the group. Can we have the stealthy people approach it stealthily and have Serbil stay back because of his armor and everything? Yeah, I'm going to scout ahead. Baron wants to come with. And I, even

out of combat, can't touch a blow on myself, right? You can for stealth because it's a move action. Okay, so I'm going to do it on my stealth. But remember, you can only move

half of your speed. So you would have to use multiple touch of laws just to get there. It's so far away. If you want to move... Sure, I can use six touch of laws in a day.

Actually, I've used one, so five. Yeah, whatever you want. I'm just letting you know. Yeah, that's fine. This actually plays in now because the space is so huge. And Nesta, you've been here before, albeit you came in from a different way,

peeking in the door, but you can see way, way, way, way, way, way on the other side the door that you peeked in and watched the circus. On the southeast corner here, that's where I peeked in. Yeah. Now, the nave of the cathedral is out of your reach, but that's where you hear the... Oh, so that's a ways away.

All right, so, yeah, I think Baron and I sneak towards... You're okay with 22s all the way there for me? That's probably fine. Okay. So what's the plan there, Care Bear? Well, I think we should... So the statue is kind of behind the forge on a big platform. Yeah, there are stairs leading up to the statue.

Along the wall. In the west side, the far side of the cathedral. Let's go over the stairs. Yeah, we'll edge our way along the wall, trying to stay in the shadows, and make our way up the stairs to the stairs. Yeah, we'll, like, edge our way along the wall, trying to stay in the shadows, and make our way up the stairs to the statue. And I'll use up to four

of my touch of laws, because I want to keep one remaining. On Nestor or on yourself? On myself. On himself. 23? 22.

All right, so you guys move 30 feet into the room. Baron and Nestor. What is Della and Sir Will and Umlo doing? What is Umlo's stealth? He has a pretty decent stealth, if I remember. Yeah, I think he does, because he's got those rogue levels.

He is a rogue. But the more people you send, the greater chance of failure. Plus 10 stealth. It's, I don't, without touch of law. Umlo's going to hang back with Della. Della, shh, of failure. Plus 10 stealth. Without touch of law. Umlo's going to hang back with Della. I understand, but... I mean, do it, but we're going to have to go at some point anyway.

Maybe the more that we have... We'll be able to have... We'll be able to have a vantage point to see if there's anyone who could hear us. Also, I mean, Umlo's a terrible choice for stealthing in a giant infested place because of Steelhand. So, I think he'd stay back.

So, 30 feet? Next 30 feet? 22. 21. Alright. Move another 30. Go ahead and move yourself on the map, too, so we see how close you're getting. I think that'll probably put you on the steps leading up to the day.

So 60 feet away from the... The doors. The double doors. Alright. Sorry, hold on. I wish I had my mouse. Look at the size of this room! This is such a big map, it's hard to find my mini. My mini. My mini. My character sheet.

Oh, that one's mine. Did you move mine for me? Oh. You're back on the other side. This is what happened last time. Alright, so you're halfway up the stairs. Nestor, you... Oh, hold on. Okay. Alright, so we're up on the stairs. Alright, so... Making their way! Two stealth checks. You guys are halfway

up the stairs. Tell me what your plan is. Plan is to look... For the rest of the party in the back. Look for any unusual mechanisms, stonework, anything that could let us into something

that is beyond the common eye. Well, I want to take a look when we get up there. I want to take a look at the apps and see how far away anyone is.

Sure. Look towards the nave, the front end of the cathedral. Okay. There's an app for that. Judge whether they can... There's an app for that. And judge whether it's safe to have the others

join us. Okay. Alright, roll another stealth check. 35. 22. 22. Nestor, you move 30 feet up. Baron, you kind of kick one of the steps a little bit.

Do I still move 30 feet? Yep, you still move 30 feet. Baron! All right, you're now up on the dais. Nestor, you want to try and... I want to take a look to do a perception. Baron, what's your... It's dim light, so you can see...

I can see perfect. You can see perfect. Perfectly. Bad verb. Roll a perception check. Both of you. 29. 29.

20. 20. So, Baron, you can see very clearly what's happening, but Nestor can hear it. And Nestor, you see another ogre, looks similar to the one you just fought in the other room, standing on... Baron, you guys, I imagine you're talking back and forth.

Baron, you see him standing on a pew, boasting. He's like, look at these bruises! Look at these wounds! You should have seen the hilly I killed with me bare hands. He thought he had me dead to rights, but he messed with the wrong ogre, he did. I went blind with fury and punched straight through his chest and ripped out his heart, I did.

And then you, Baron, see a two-headed creature that is not an ettin. What? Tell him to get down from the bench. He's like, all right, all right, get down from there. There'll be plenty more battles to come. Yes, yes, more battles to come. Real battles worth bragging about. Now let's begin the swearing-in ceremony.

Yes, let's begin the ceremony. That's what I said. No, I said it. Yes, yes, the swearing-in ceremony. These are the two heads going back and forth. Two heads going back and forth, talking to two ogres. So you see this, and he tells him to get down, tells one of the ogres to get down,

so that the swearing-in ceremony can begin. Nestor, with your incredible perception, you do not see, currently, any other creatures in the room, but I will say that all of the benches, including the horseshoe benches around the dais and the room, but I will say that all of the benches, including the horseshoe benches around the dais and the forge, are taller than any human you've ever seen.

Now that you are up on the dais, you can see into the pit. And it is a slag pit. Full of black slag. Wow. You've made, what, three successful stealth checks?

Quote, unquote. You see three creatures at the far end of the room in the nave. The ceiling above you is vaulted to 100 feet. In the nave, it looks like it's only 60 feet. It's not until it opens up into the amphitheater that it like... And there's chimneys where the smoke of this perhaps long dead forge

used to ventilate. Della is going to cast Message. Which allows her to whisper a message and receive a whispered reply at a range of 100 feet plus 10 feet per level. Level. Per lever.

Whister and level. So I'm going to whisper a message to Nester and say, What's going on out there? It's hot. And you hear Del's voice whispering a sweet nothings in your ear. Yes, I like it when you whisper sweet nothings in my ear. Do it again. I like it when you whisper sweet nothings in my ear. Do it again. I like that.

The spell only lasts so long. Information, please. I see a couple of guys, ogres, and a two-headed thing, but it's not Etin. I don't know what it is. There's a pit of slags, and then there's...

That's it. I mean, they're very far away away i think it's all right if you all want to move in della relates this information to will and umla was that was that will's reaction or was that Lexington's reaction? We're so close. Bit of both. I just laughed. Yeah, I mean, Will knows that he's going to attract attention if anybody's in there. And Baron already left with the bag, so it's not like he can remove his armor.

Della actually could transport herself anywhere in this room instantly. Della can go. I don't think anyone else should go. We've spent all this effort and time being clandestine. Or destined. Why don't you guys keep going and Della will whisper this to Nestor and keep going. And if you find the secret door or some place where we can sneak in, we'll make a run for it. Okay.

So Nestor says, why don't you take a look at that statue i'm going to position myself in case these fuckers see us so nester is gonna he wants to make his way to the edge of the dais to get the best possible vantage point over the slag pit and the creatures okay you can walk up there for free okay baron you would have to stealth up to the statue. Oh, even to get a perception. It's gigantic, and I have to be that close? Yeah, I mean, you are at least, what, 50 feet away at this point?

You know what? It's time to let Lady Luck roll. I'm going to try to get better than a 22. Actually, that's a terrible idea. Too late, I already snuck. All right. Oh, Baron. night. Too late, I already snuck. Alright. Oh, Baron. 16!

Baron rolls a 16 as he walks up to the statue. I knew it was a terrible idea, I just wanted to have fun on this show. That was your first mistake. Especially two heads. That's four perception checks, are you kidding me? Pathfinder's not about fun, Grant. It's about constant tactical awareness.

You mean it's about being all at the back of the room while we wait for this two-headed thing and these ogres to get to it? I'm in heavy armor. That's the picture on the front of the core rule book. It's about finding ways to play the game where you don't have to roll any dice. That has been my discovery. Well said, Matthew. Well said. Are you adjusting for distance on the perception?

I was just trying to see how far away you are. And you are, it looks like my eyes can't see that small a number, but I think you're 365 feet away from the two-headed creature. Isn't that crazy? Wow. As you move a foot a day, we'll be learning. Like an entire football field. An entire. Plus the end zone outside of it.

And you're very, very small. And they do not see you. However, if you're keeping an eye on them, you can see but you can't hear. They hear something. They feel like they heard something. They feel like they heard something but they are so they heard something, but they are so far away. And they're engaged in their own thing. That they're, you know, mechanically

taking a negative to the perception. What's that? What do you do, Barbara? I'm going to use stone cunning. Stone cunning or stone cutting? Cunning. And I'm going to use touch of lawn myself. So that is a

plus 17 to whatever. Oh, 28. This is what I'd like to call a cunning plan. 28 perception. So you go around the base of the statue. You're feeling around. Feeling around. And sure enough,

in the north side of the statue's base, so the side you came to first, you find a giant sized secret door. Yes! You feel the outline of it. And I can just see you putting your hands over it

and looking up 60 feet and seeing the face of this solemn stone giant. Is he wearing underpants? He is not. It's like the David of stone giants. He's the David of stone giants. You just look up and see this face just looking out across this enormous sanctuary. But you do find a secret door. Nestor, meanwhile, his bow at the ready, trained on these ogres and this two-headed

creature almost 400 feet away. Delanarn, Sir Will, and Lexington Umlo. At this point, you know, a couple hundred feet away in the hallway leading between these rooms. What do you do? There's no way I can whisper back so I can't let them know, so I'm going to open the door. You open the door and there is a

staircase leading down. Message is actually still in effect. But you were talking to Nestor, not me. It's all creatures within the area. That, okay. That's a crazy spell, but leave it to Matthew to find a new way to cheat in Pathfinder.

Audible to all targeted creatures within range. It's helping you, it's helping you, it's okay. I say, I've found the way forward, and it happens to be down. But beware. There are creatures who are suspicious. So I can vanish you, Sir Will. Still noise, but... Yeah, but it gets like a plus 20.

Oh, nice. Stealth. I just punched my microphone. I'm so excited. That won't get you all the way there, but it saves you a roll. Yeah. Vanish, you said. Yeah.

That's why it won't get me all the way there. No, it'll definitely get me all the way. No, it'll definitely get me. How long does vanish last? Six seconds. It's a round. Oh, I see. Well, actually, I could cast a spell on you and I was going to use the wand. But I'll cast a spell.

You could shadow walk them over there. I can't. It's not like Dimension Door where you can grab someone. It's only myself. So, yeah, I'll vanish you with the spell I should give you what five rounds Yeah plenty of time Sure isn't it eight rounds

I think it tops out Oh it maxes out Either way that'll get Sir Will there Yeah I mean Lexington will get there Oh wait is that two different targets Son of a bitch That's fine I can use one of my pearls of power. Okay.

You could also, like... But what about... Nestor is your wild card right now. Nestor could go wherever. Umlaut's going to have trouble getting up there. Umlaut's got a plus 10 to stealth. He's got a plus 10 to stealth. The other problem is

he's going to have to do will saves to avoid... No, within 30 feet. Oh, great, great. Got it. So, yeah. Della will cast vanish okay and sir will with an additional plus 20 should be okay i mean i can roll if you want i think it's going to

be it sir well i think he has a minus two stealth so i think it's 18 plus 18 plus that's with vanish yeah with vanish but what about lexington or Are you not worried about Lexington? Lexington's higher, but it's whichever one is lower. Okay. I'm going to say with Vanish, you're fine. Okay. Getting up to where? And we're trying to be quiet. We're moving at half speed.

Yeah, I mean, if they had alerted them, it was going to be a problem. But with Vanish, you're fine. Are you going to roll for Umlo? I'm not going to roll for Umlo. I know you're not going to roll for Umlo. So Della will Vanish you're fine. Are you going to roll for Umlo? I'm not going to roll for Umlo. I know you're not going to roll for Umlo. So Della will Vanish him as well with the wand. And then he'll roll stealth on the second

two move actions. So with the wand it gives him what? One round? One round. 20 feet. Okay. So he needs three. No, he's got fast movement, doesn't he? So 30 feet? But can he double move in a round? He has three successful stealth jumps. He can only move half speed. When stealthing?

Yeah. But he's still... He could. So tell me how many times to roll. Three. Sixteen. With a vanish? No, with a vanish. I did vanish him. For the first round. Second one the vanish. I did vanish him. He did vanish him. I thought the first one. For the first round.

Okay, so the first one, you're fine. Second one, 16. Second one, 16. Third one. Do I need to roll a third one? I'm just building suspense. Almost okay. 18 for the third one.

God damn it, Matthew. Would you just roll better? What's wrong with you? On the third one, I'm almost like clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk. And, Nestor, you see them looking. The two-headed one, like, peeks up. Not his ears were playing tricks on him, but he feels like he hears something. You're up halfway up the stairs, Amlo.

Nothing has happened yet. DC 15. Ooh! For your final stealth check. Come on, buddy. You got this. You got this. Live a better.

Bottle cap. Natural 17. 27. Oh, yeah. There we go. Umlo gets up on the dance. His rogue level's coming out. And Della, you're vanished the whole way?

No, Della's making sure everyone gets through, and then she's going to shadow walk in. Perfect, perfect. Unless something happens. She's standing there for security. So Nestor and Baron sneak their way up there. Nestor, cat like Grace as usual. Baron does his great job, gets up there.

Luckily, they're a million miles away and very preoccupied. Sir Will and Lexington vanished, plus a wolf. You get up there. Luckily, they're a million miles away and very preoccupied. Sir Will and Lexington vanished, plus a wolf. You get up there. Yeah. Umlo sneaks by. He gets up there. Della shadow walks up there. Well, she's going to wait.

Everyone looks like they're okay? Everyone appears to be okay. So she just slinks back into the shadows of the room and just like, and appears. Bamf. Right next to Nestor. Smell of brimstone. Smell of brimstone. Smell of burnt hair.

Shadow walk. Did you learn to do that? You shadow walk. Can you control exactly where you land? Yeah. Or are you? It's dimension door. Oh, it's dimension door.

So you're boom, boom. Della just appears so in the shadows next to nest so awesome and you know nestor is said 15 feet away watching guard but you're all standing in front of the store what do you do let's go down let's oh shoot it steps i have to leave lexington you should just throw them in the slag pit. I throw them in the forge. All right, yeah, we head down the steps. Nestor, you're going to peel back? Yeah, I'm going to kind of keep my eye on them,

work my way back towards the rest of you, and I'm going to take up the rear. Okay. You walk. And Sir Will slowly closedosed the door behind us I mean it's a big stone door So you just kind of like do your best To cover your tracks

With your tent strength I think he does fine It's a 12 Complete darkness Walking into complete darkness Those of you with dark vision can see, 60 feet in front of you. Those of you without dark vision can kind of see the flickering of shadows on the walls of this winding staircase leading down. You almost cough as, like, dust gets into your lungs.

as, like, dust gets into your lungs. You continue down the stairs, and eventually it opens into a broad, oval chamber. Darkness, except for a few candles. Near the center of the room, Baron Della especially, you see a pillar of cemented, soot-blackened stones illuminated by the waxy lump of crude candles and surrounded by a ring of mystic symbols fashioned out of metallic dust sprinkled on the floor.

To the south stands a large chair and a table laid with a single place setting, a clay bowl, a pitcher of water, and a pot of what you would assume is gruel. A large framed box filled with straw and covered with a couple of heavy quilts and a few oversized pillows lies farther east beyond the pillar. Set into the northern side of the furnace is a great door of black iron with a latch handle and a sliding barred grate. Stone buckets holding ancient slag stand near the furnace door, along with a giant-sized bellows

with cracked and worn leather, a huge broom, a large iron shovel, and a pile of coke for starting a fire. Candles just slowly illuminating the room. Who's up front? Baron would be with darkvision, I think. So, Baron, you see all this first.

Maybe Della's with you as well. Similar to the top of the tower. Both of you roll a perception check. 21. 32. 34. Damn, Fetchling! Della, you feel like you see something in the back of the room,

in the far right side, but it's far away. You can't quite make it out. And you nudge Baron to take a look, but it's far away, you can't quite make it out. And you nudge Baron to take a look, and Baron, you train your eyes on the back of the room, and you see a shape come to life. There's an ancient woman with white hair, stands up, towering over everyone in the room.

She has her back to you. You've come a long way from true now, Baron Redheart. Is that Delanon with you? We have much to discuss.

But first, let's talk about how you failed Galabras. See you next week. Oh, shit! Oh, my God. I love Oracle. Outro Music