The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 106 - Choir You Hitting Yourself?

Episode Date: June 6, 2017

The party must return to Minderhal's Valley to track down the missing items needed to relight the Sacred Forge, but getting out of the cathedral safely proves to be difficult. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Extras, taxes, and delivery additional. Expires April 8th. This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. Wow, so we'll actually be walking through the cathedral. Yeah. Okay. Wow. As the heroes set out on a dangerous new mission.

Everybody roll a stealth check. The enemy blocks their way. Ready. It's been a while. Glad to have a little combat back in my life. So excited. Round one. Oh, yeah.

And the crits. First one, natural 20. Heart spit. Heart spit. Natural 20. Oh, my God. And fumbles. That's right. We have fan fumbles. Fumbles. All right, fumbles, f. And fumbles. That's right.

We have fan fumbles. Fan fumbles. All right, fumble, fumble, fumble. Natural one. Oh, no. That's great. Natural one. I'm not even joking, Troy.

Will orchestrate a deadly outcome. Oh, no. The adventure continues. And it is a 32. Oh, you're shitting me! Now. Hello, everybody. This is the sound of me, Skidmar, welcoming you, everyone out there, to episode 106 of the Glass Cannon podcast. I'm going to keep it short this week when I get right into this episode. Obviously, there's been a lot of excitement

around these parts lately, and there's much more to come. So please stay tuned. We appreciate all of you, all of your enthusiasm sticking with us. It's been awesome and can't wait to see what the next few weeks bring. But this week,

the party gets into a little bit of rough and tumble in an unconventional place, a choir loft. So let's all sit back, relax, and listen to episode 106, Choir, Are You Hitting Yourself? I need

to rewrite this adventure so that you guys meet an oracle every ten episodes. This whole legion of oracles by the end of the story. Yep. Oracle Slayer.

Well, I don't know about that because you emailed me at like two o'clock in the afternoon before we recorded. So like, hey, could you write this backstory for Nestor? It's like, fuck. I'm babysitting.

I have a meal. It's like, goddammit. I'm literally like scrambling on my keyboard like typing to the very second before I had to leave and I'm freaking out. Yeah, it's my fault. I prepped all of 105 that day. I had been thinking about it,

creating the ideas, wrapping around in my head and I woke up at of 105 that day. I had been thinking about it, creating the ideas, wrapping around in my head, and I woke up at 9 a.m. and wrote until you guys came over at 7 o'clock. And at one point, because Skid and I had talked, and I mentioned this on Fodder like 20 episodes ago, about Nestor's dad. It just dawned on me. I was like, oh, I think he either doesn't know his dad or has a bad relationship with his dad. And I

pulled Skid aside. He's like, no, he killed his dad. I was like, awesome. That's all I need to know. And then when it came to do this, I wanted it to come out. And so I went to Skid and I said, can you just write the story? Turns out it wasn't all you needed to know. Because I know

that's right at night. But it's cool that it's it's a it's a it's a tool to get those backstories out yeah old where you don't get that chance otherwise in the normal course of the narrative right at what point is me like you know I killed my dad by the way yeah it's like I volunteer this information when I don't know no it's like, I volunteer this information. When? I don't know. It's like, look, no one was supposed to know that. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. But I kind of like the way Nestor wasn't mad about it because the way she framed it was,

hey, it's cool with Minderhall. You did what you had to do. Delathot killing a sadistic father seemed all right up her alley. Right. That's after what she saw. No memory of that. And for Nestor, it's a very her alley. Right. That's after what she saw. No memory of that. And for Nestor, it's a very happy memory.

Right, right. Prince of Wales. It was a very fond memory. A warm family memory. He thinks about that all the time. He just loves it. To actually see it, it's like your high school graduation or something. Well, you probably never got to see it from that angle because you were you.

Yeah, I was you. I wasn't able to watch myself doing it. Your eyes are filled with blood. Chevy Chase. Oh, God. Was probably never got to see it from that angle because you were you. Yeah, I was you. I wasn't able to watch myself doing it. Your eyes are filled with blood. Chevy Chase. Oh, God, was I ever that young? It's like Chevy Chase in Christmas Vacation. He's watching the old clips. Christmas is the time of year.

He's got the bathrobe on. And he falls through the roof. So let's talk about those visions before we even get into it. So Della, this was a memory that you didn't have, something that happened to you, unless she's full of shit. No, I think she has no memory of it. Yeah. And it was evidenced by your mother shaking you

and you just being off in another place. Yeah. Demon's blood. your mother shaking you and you just being off in another place. Yeah. Demon's blood. I mean, I think it's not like she's been repressing the stuff about her father. I think she's just been recontextualizing it.

So now I think more and more she's realizing what he did to her, which isn't to say that she's not necessarily going to, like, renounce everything he ever taught her, because I don't think that she sees it that way. But I think it's the gifts from those who hurt you the most. I think she's just kind of reframing it in that way. How old was she in that vision that we saw?

What did you say? A child. Like, real little? Yeah, yeah. Well, you would think, looking back to the Droja vision, that this predated the Drogia vision. So something happened between that moment and the Drogia vision, where he comes running in with his hands covered in blood. Yeah. And has a talk with you, where he got custody. Well, Della has very little memory of her mother.

Right. Yeah. So... So it must be, like, before she's, little memory of her mother. Right. So it must be like before she's like six or something. Yeah, because you don't even know what she looks like because when Uyghur came out to pretend, Uyghur would have no way of knowing what she looked like. So you just took it for granted that that was her.

That's gotta be my mom. Della just assumes all Kyle look the same. Right. Yeah, she's super racist. Well, it's very same. Right. Yeah, she's super racist. Well, it's very interesting. It raises more questions about what was the relationship there?

What was your father really trying to do? Because in that other vision, he's like, just be careful. Yeah. Be careful of the evil inside of you.

And he's trying to explain to the mother. The mother doesn't see it that way. And now, they're lost in the dimensions with the father dead, according to Droja. And now they're lost in the dimensions with the father

dead, according to Droja. And the other thing I have to away from that is the mother attacked Della's father. Metro attacked him. So, shocking grasp. Shot electricity. Lightning bolt. Lightning bolt, yeah. Interesting spell.

Flaming hands. Lightning bolt. Runs in the family. Runs in the family. Runs in the family. And then we are, it's made more clear that Baron's adoptive family were after the gun. We don't know. Well, this complicates a lot of things for me. There was an intro in which I let a little bit more known about where i lived in the five kings mountains and um baron left under the presupposition uh that his parents

were killed in um trying to transport the secrets of uh gunsmithing and unleashing their power to the seat of power within the Five Kings from where they lived. But now knowing this about his parents, he even questions that. What if they aren't dead? What if this band of orcs was just some sort of... Wait, Baron didn't see them die? I thought he was with them.

No, he just knows what Droja said, but Droja is the person who told you that her visions may not be clear. But you're adoptive parents. I thought you were all together when they died. Is that not the case? Yeah, but now I'm questioning even anything that happens based on how deceptive they've been. Yeah, so your eyes could have deceived you. Not only my eyes, but it could have been...

They could have actively faked their deaths. Right. Or my mother could have set something up in order she seemed to care about me more my parents names are brioveth and tormeid um and i mean i was always closer with my mother by my memories um but that's incredible to learn that who you thought was your father wanted to kill you yeah or at least he just he was more he was more interested in the artifact right um and what it could do for their clan maybe maybe but who knows but he stole it but being interested in in power and losing one's uh humanity or dwarf vanity uh for lack of a better term uh one's own

principles and scruples and a pursuit of power is uh something that's distasteful to baron and but it makes baron wonder if he had gone through that whole process and not been kind of abducted like that could he be that much more powerful would he have died like you've died yeah all sorts of things i'm just picturing baron with a hat and beard as a baby in a diaper yeah with a diaper and a gun sharp and a sharp little doing that like that like waddle out of the volcano i'm just shooting it randomly i i actually killed my own parents and had to be affected. I also, sadly, finally, as I was reading up more and more on Toreg, I finally saw a pronunciation guide on it, and it's Toreg, which I hate.

I like Toreg a lot more. You can say it any way you want in Star World. No, I know. But I didn't like Toreg. Toreg. Toreg. It sounds like a blue more. You can say it any way you want. Star World. No, I know. But I didn't like Torog. Torog. It sounds like a blue blood. I parked my car in a garage. In the car hole? Yeah, the car hole. It's a car hole.

Alright, so we see this from Baron. We obviously still don't know what that is all about, but she says that Ash Peaks are still out there, and maybe you could rejoin them.

So then we see Nestor's situation, which for, let me ask, Grant, Matthew, and Joe, yes or no, did you have any idea that that, all this talk of, as me old dad used to say, that there was something else there? That he killed his own dad? No, no, I never suspected that. I knew he slipped a few times to let us know that his dad was not a good dude,

but I never would have guessed he killed him. He's always such a smarmy guy, and the way he said, as me old dad used to say never seemed to have any uh underlying level of reverence to it right uh so i always felt that uh i didn't think a man like nester would have a kind of oh dad i cut bees on my report card i hope it's okay and it's like oh i love you so nester was a killer at 15. Was that his first murder? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Wow.

Destined. And those other children, that's what I wanted to know. Were those other children just street urchins, or did he just, was he like the Wilt Chamberlain, just impregnating women and prostitutes in order to have like an army of street urchins that he could command? No, he's like Fagin from Oliver Twist. Okay. Like he's running this ring of

pickpockets of little boy pickpockets. But you were his own blood though. I was. And there's a whole thing with that too. I don't know. I mean, we can get into it another time. But I mean, I have the whole thing with his mom. Rest assured,

there is more story there. But Nestor sees this and is happy. What a nice memory. And takes a little bit to the idea of a deity that would approve of your choice.

I imagine watching it, like hearing, why do you fill me up, buttercup baby? Like, while I was playing over, just smiling like a tear. The blood is just

splattering everywhere. It's so nasty. Like while I was playing, I was just smiling like a tear. The blood is just splattering everywhere. It's so nasty. It's like a slow-motion car wash, but Nestor murdering his own father. Jada bug. Jada bug. Jada bug. I just love that image of him just stabbing the leg and stabbing his way up the body. So gruesome.

Yeah. I feel like a mountain climber. Right. Like a piton. Pulling his way up the body. So gruesome. Yeah, like a mountain climber. Right. Like a piton. Pulling his way up the body with his knife. Just brutal. Just brutal. And then last of all, and I have to say...

And Will's brother was sick. And Will's brother was sick. Well, we knew that, though. If it wasn't for the Children's Hospital of Highbury, my brother wouldn't have had a chance. I want you to donate today. Did you say what the illness was before at the camp? No, nobody knows.

Nobody's been able to tell. It's certainly not a disease, because they've done as many cured disease spells. That's always the tough thing in a setting like this. It's like, oh, he's got such and such disease. Just fucking cast curing disease. Magically, yeah. Wish.

Yeah, I'm sure they could have afforded Wish maybe even tried it didn't work well but do you do you do sir will believe atena they're probably not a yes or no answer right now does she believe that she or you have the power to cure him yeah yeah i think so um i don't think that he would be surprised at all that the that the temptation of having that sort of power comes hand in hand with being evil i mean that's what he's been told his whole life it's like yeah you know evil people will always tell you you can get more power if you do it their way yeah but in the long run they're wrong you know in the long run they're wrong but for sir will it's like bedrick doesn't have the long run right and i feel like he is at he's incredibly torn right now and it is less i was thinking about

it it's less between good and evil per se or, or Minderhall and Iomedi that is part of it. What I think he's really torn between is this idea of a paladin and a cavalier or knight versus his halfling self, which they're really being drawn apart right now. Because everything he's learned as a as a knight of honor and to do the right thing and he's a an order of the shield so he is not concerned with slaying creatures or doing great damage he's concerned with protecting his allies and and being the front line of defense to help people that need need the defense that's all human culture that he's getting exactly exactly and when it comes to religion it's like that strict code and that

piety and that you know you you and same thing with the knighthood it's like you have a strict set of rules that you abide by and you never go outside the lines and that has always in a small way overpowered his natural instincts which are for for, and this is where the Shailen thing comes in. It's his unbelievable amount of love that he has in his heart for nature and beauty and art. First time you saw Della. Exactly. Yeah. And family and his brother and how much he loves his brother, really, it competes with how much he is supposed to love Iomedi, which to some people is no contest. But for him, I mean, the secret kind of thing that he hasn't told anyone is that going to the World War, going to war, going to True Now and all of this thing has been the most exciting experience of his life because he has gotten to adventure.

He's gotten to like get away from all the strict rules. Be on the front lines. Exactly. And it's not for, I mean, you know, for bravery, that's sort of the thing that's been put in his mind by the human side. But really inside it's that excitement of, adventure of doing the unpredictable of experiencing the unpredictable um and so i feel like right now he's so torn between wanting to just help his family and bring this sort of unpredictable side of himself out to see what happens, what his gut is telling him to do,

which is light the fire and use the power for good versus what he's been told in doctrine his whole life. Well, if you look at nature versus nurture, which is really a strong through line with Sir Will, um, as much as, you know,

and you could disagree with this but as much as it is naturally within his own heart to uh embrace shaylin and yomada and all that uh he also embraces it behaviorally because he's been rewarded throughout his life for doing so right right yeah absolutely so at a certain point when devoting himself to this and straying a path no longer rewards him and he's left bereft of his powers and sees his sick brother, he's got to start having a new Pavlovian response to something that he'll be rewarded for a new set of behavior. But it's just more difficult the older you are in your life. I mean, you're level nine, man. I mean, come on. I mean, you're level nine, man. I mean, come on.

Yeah, and as far as everybody else is concerned, I mean, he was very concerned when he saw that image of Della. Let's not forget that we all saw each other's vision. And seeing Della's situation, when he saw the blood coming down her head, he was just having flashes of the demon's blood coming down her head, of the demon's blood coming down his own head. And he sees not someone who is setting out to do evil but someone who terrible things happen to and she doesn't even have a memory of this so maybe it's out of her own control so he's torn between like let her do her thing or try to turn her you know i i think in the back of sir

will's head what was playing as we heard uh honeycup buttercup for for skid's vision of nester i think you heard elvis's in the ghetto in the back of your head as you saw this happen a poor young boy goes to bed hungry and he gets angry and well no and sir will saw that he saw a certain degree of justice being done he thought this is gruesome and awful, but this guy was clear very early in the vision that this was a bad dude that Nestor was killing. And maybe whether

he knew it or not, he was being an instrument of good just then. And he keeps it to himself. He's not going to try to preach to Nestor. There's no point. But he thinks that there is, to a certain degree, some good there. Now, the way that he revels in it is not something that he's used to, but, you know, there's a balance.

Yeah, and I mean, you could worship Minderhall and be lawful neutral. That is an option. But you can't be a paladin. No, you cannot. Very interesting. Certainly raises some suspicions, and I always forget about this. It's one thing to see your own vision. It's another thing to see other people's vision

and get a different idea of what you thought they were and why they are the way they are. Right. I see Della's father experimenting on her and she has no memory of it. And I see her as unconsciously experimenting continually on herself. Like she doesn't realize she continues to do this terrible stuff to herself,

because she doesn't know any better. Fascinating. And Ntena just goes back to her business and tells you... She Yoda's off. She Yoda's off. Mm-hmm, that's it. My, my, my agent texts. I hope you're not. She mentions that if you want to find your way through this valley, it is said that ancient giants tried to map it.

And that happened in the Dark Passage. What you now know is that cave that you saw when you went down there. Giants everywhere. Do we actually know that, or just did the audience watching the movie see it? She was explaining it to you, and that was the visual representation. The old show don't tell. Well, yeah, I think we have to figure out a way to get back outside the walls. Well, you said there's that other sluice leading out from the privies.

Yeah, we could just jump in the toilet. We can go out through the toilet. We also have our friends upstairs. That's true, too. I mean, we have Gorham's Thorn that we could leave them with some weapons to defend themselves if need be. Yeah, the problem is that we need for this particular mission to move through this many giants,

both Nestor and Pembroke. That's the problem. I'm ready to do it. Yeah, it's difficult because Pembroke is basically protecting Lork and the two men. He's the de facto

one in the best shape. Razzmatazz is there. Razzmatazz is there. Believe in Razzmatazz. That's the other thing. Razzmatazz is the clock on all of this as well. So can we safely get back there at this point? Back to the tower?

You don't know. We can get them a message. But they're safe. Yeah, and we can... I mean, we have the broom that we could use to send messages as long as we could

get some way to make it not visible to people. If only there was a druid out there flying around that could tell them. Yeah. If only, if only. Interesting. You say that.

Well, I think there, I think they're in it for the long haul. And I think that, uh, if our only knowable path towards power to be able to get us the hell out of here after a while is to do this, I think we just have to go to the cave and let them fend for themselves. You have two of the four items. You have the Drake's Bane Horn.

You have the Fire Geodes. We can neither confirm nor deny. This is Troy here. You're in a safe space now. This is Troy here You're in a safe space now And then saying So the Drake's Bane horn Calls forth

The power of a dragon To light The geodes Dragon's breath And I'm gonna start Carrying that on On my person Kind of like a giant

Cornucopia Or like powder horn On the back Yeah it's pretty big And heavy too I believe A shofar Seven pounds Shofar

Shofar so good. We are the chosen people, the dwarves. Welcome. We are chosen. We are the chosen four. So assuming that you're going to get them a message or just, I mean, you told them we're going to go take care of business.

Now you know you've got to leave for X amount of days, X amount of time. Assuming that they're okay and you can get them a message, what is your plan of action for getting out of here? You saw some people in the nave that was a half hour ago. They may not be there. There may be even more people there. But remember, Farron told you, time is of the essence because at night it's time for mass.

Well, I think if we can get outside the walls and then wait until, maybe we could go back to the hut and wait there until dark, sneak out, and then get to the cave. We can also ask Atena. I mean does she have – oh, she doesn't even know because she never leaves the room. She hasn't left in 200 years. Isn't that crazy? She's been in this tiny – well, it's a pretty big room for a couple hundred years. I start to get crazy when I'm in my apartment for like six hours.

for a couple hundred years. I used to have to get crazy when I'm in my apartment for like six hours. So, you're thinking go back to the hut, camp out there, wait for nightfall,

sneak back out under the wall and try and at least you don't have to make that seven mile run or three mile run or whatever it was.

You are on the correct side to get there. Lexington, I'm sorry. We have to go through the poop shoot. He's like, are you kidding me? A dog the poop shoot. He's like... Are you kidding me?

A dog would love that. He's not a dog. He's a magical dog. Okay. How is everybody on healing? We're all good. Everybody's healed up? No, we're not at full, but we're as good as we're going to get.

Yeah. Do we know what time of day it is right now? It's still like afternoon. By now, it's afternoon. Afternoon-ish. Well, then we can't get in. We could get an eight-hour rest in, and then it would be dark when we left. If you want to just get that extra little bit of healing.

So stay down here? No, go up to the hut. Oh, okay. Because we have to get out of the cathedral before nightfall because then all the giants come in. Yeah, but none of them come down here. No, but if we go out, we have to go past them. Be like, sorry, don't mean to interrupt your service,

we're just sneaking up the south. Well, no, if we just stayed with Atena through the night service and then left in the morning. Right, but we still want cover of nightfall to go back to the cave of darkness. Oh, right, right, right. That makes sense. Okay, then let's bounce quick. Guys, this might be the darkest dungeon we go through. I hate that game.

I hate it. I hate that fucking game. Atena offers you, do any of you need some healing? Oh, yeah, dude. Right here. Yes, we do, in fact. If any of you are sick, I, dude. Right here. Yes, we do, in fact. If any of you are sick, I can remove

disease from one of you. Oh, yes. I've got these horrible fleas. I think we should just have it be me. What about a lesser restoration? I do not have lesser restoration. I can cure serious wounds, and I can remove disease. I need to, yeah,

I've got disease, I've got this. Should we draw straws for it? Yeah, all right, yeah. So what's the status now with the fleas? Because those of us who didn't... We don't know yet. Right. Oh, I'm dragging the fleas.

But okay, so she's just got to roll against the save of the fleas. But is she going to cure Della's fleas? Yeah, roll for it. I think it's up to... It's a roll-off. Wait, but don't... What about Will and Baron? They're not currently infected, but you can enter

the roll-off if you'd like. I'll enter the roll-off. Oh, Baron. And beat both of us. Come on, Stella. Sorry, I thought that said 60. Natural 20 to

remove the please. Yeah, alright. Have a roll to die and two eps. So as soon as she clears the infestation, Nestor comes up and says Congratulations, Della! And gives her a big hug and just starts rubbing his body. And Della, you are now reinfected.

I'm going to cast lightning bolt. So she can cure Sirius on one of you. I don't need that. Does Amo need it? I'm two points down. She can do cure moderate for somebody. Yeah, I'm eight points down. Does Amo need it?

I'm not sure what his current hit points are from last week, but he could use a moderate or a serious. I will tell you because I played him last. Hang on. Oh, you did. Oh, by the way, I'm Amo. Grant's Amo. Amo.

Always have been. Amo's okay. He's down only down four. Okay. Well, let's just take it. I'll take a cure moderate. Cure moderate. Oh, 11 points. Sweet. You got'll take a cure moderate. Cure moderate. Oh, 11 points.

Sweet. You got a cure light in that. A cure light. Sure, I can give you a cure light. Four points of cure light. Thank you. I'm good to go. Got another cure light now?

I can do one more cure light. Five points of cure light. Perfect. Good luck. Good luck in leaving the whole guide your way. Yeah. Wait, what about group invisibility? Can you do that for us?

Let me see here. No, no, I cannot do group invisibility. Okay, let's bounce. So now we go up, and are those dudes still possibly swearing people in? So you guys come up and out onto the dais, or you peek out first to see if those guys are there. All right, talk to me about party order. Who's up front?

I'll be in front. I'm behind. Or if Della wants to go first, that's fine too. I'll stay in the back because I can buff and or go invisible. Okay. Or make people invisible. First person up front, roll a perception. 20.

20. You look out. Don't see them. Go, go, go. Now, question. Come on. Are you going back towards the grog hall and out back through the infestation room? Or... Out the main entrance. Outation room or out the main entrance.

Out the main or out the side door. Out the side door. That's closest to the hut anyway. Let's just go through that door. Wow, so we'll actually be walking through the cathedral. Yeah. Okay. Wow.

All right, the map is active for you. I actually want to go, me, myself, the St. John's Cathedral is uptown. I want to go to St. John's Cathedral. It's the biggest cathedral in the world. And I'm tempted to go, me, myself, the St. John's Cathedral is uptown. I want to go to St. John's Cathedral. It's the biggest cathedral in the world. And I'm tempted to just go there, just to, like, stand there and get some kind of perspective sense on how big these buildings are. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I've never seen anything like this in person.

Yeah. So, yeah, let's go to the postern gate. Okay. Everybody, roll a stealth check. Eight for Sir Willamette. 35. 28 for Del. 18 for Baron.

And Umlo is going to roll a... Nice. 26. He's got decent stealth 26 What'd you get, Sir Will? Solid 8 Okay Party order again was

Nestor up front Followed by Della Or followed by Baron Baron Baron, Della The Della's in the back Sir Will No, Sir Will is behind Baron

Okay, Sir Will, Umlo, Della Nestor, Baron, Sir Will, Umlo, Della Cl Nestor, Baron, Sir Will, Umlo, Della. Clank, clank, clank, clank. Straight line it along. And all of you do pretty well. Sir Will rolls an eight. As they're walking, I turn around. I'm like, mate, you sound like a drawer full of silverware being dumped out all at once.

I'm sorry, Nestor. This is not my expertise. Clearly not. And you look up to the balcony. Oh, no. And see a hill giant just come staggering up and look down at you. Oh, no. He's like, I'm running!

Running! Get over here and look! Oh, no! I'm running! Running! Get over here and look! Another hill giant comes lumbering up, and a third hill giant comes lumbering up. Oh, look what we've got here. Let's take them for tribute! Roll for initiative. Oh, baby, three episodes roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll! Oh, baby!

Three episodes since we've had a combat. That's crazy. That is nuts. Grog Hall Putsch was the last one. All right, give me... Baron, what you got? Baron got a 16. 16 for Baron.

Okay, Nestor? 14. 14 for Nestor. Della? 19. 19. Very nice. Nestor? 14. 14 for Nestor. Della? 19. 19. Very nice. Sir William? 5. Alms? Umlo got a

12. 12. Just there. Okay. Let me give you a little breakdown here. So, the one area, as far as you can see, that you could not or did not see was this little balcony area. Now you see there's stairs leading up

to a curtained balcony, but now the curtains are drawn. Nestor, you think back to when you peeked in on Earth Ash, and I believe I even said, like if you crane your neck around, you can see people up at the balcony as well listening to the sermon. So there are three hill giants come lumbering up. They are very well protected because they are on higher ground.

So they get total cover up there from all ranged attacks. And they have, well, they have melee advantage. They're not going to get a ranged advantage against you. Is there a plus six in their AC? I think total's plus four. Plus four, okay. There is a ten-foot-wide, maybe seven-foot-wide stairway leading up to that balcony. And all you know is there are three hill giants, one of which

is named Ruddig. Ruddig. Ruddig. It's been a while. I'm glad to have a little combat back in my life. So excited. Round one! Oh, yeah. Della Narn. Della's going to use the level three pearl of power to cast

haste. Oh, yes. Okay, I was going to say, I think you did Haste in the Grog Hall episode, but that was not from the Pearl of Power. Della casts Haste, and everyone that enjoys combats, just stop listening to me.

Anyone that enjoys a fair fight, you can skip the rest of this. And then, yeah, that's your turn. Okay. The hill giant in the middle, known as Ruddick, as far as you know, says, Oh, so you're going to cast haste, are you? He saw it. He could tell.

Wow. He rolled a knowledge 29. He's really knowledgeable. He lays his hand on his waist and it's like, and turns into a large earth elemental. What? Whoa. And takes a step out of sight.

I thought he was going to start singing... Just transforms... When some command word turns into a large... A druid? Earth elemental. What is he? It's Farazza! Can I roll a knowledge check on that?

I believe you can do it on your turn. On your turn, yeah. If you're not too busy, cast in haste. Alright, Baron. Baron's way far away from these dudes. How many range increments is that, Baron, in this enormous cathedral?

It's way far away. But Baron is going to do... Baron's going to move to the step of the stairs, and he is going to wait for a giant to get within his touch AC range and will fire if so. You have more movement than that. You know that, right? I have 40 total. With haste?

Yeah, but I don't want to clog up the stairwell. I mean, it's going to... Alright, so Baron is going to play a wait and see for round one. Let's see if they come to him. Nestor coin. Nestor is going to move up onto the pew.

Okay. With haste, that'll be your two movements, we'll say. No, no. It's one, two, three, four. Climb check to get up on the... You know, like acrobatics check for climb check, so it slows your movement down to get up on those benches, like it did in the grog ball. But it's like five feet,

right? Yeah. I mean, I can just... That shouldn't be like a whole acrobatics check to do that. I mean, it would be like another five feet of movement. Okay, I mean, do you remember when Sir Will jumped up on the table how we did it? Because you were hasted then as well. Yeah, that's how we did it

last time. So, yeah, I'm just... unless you want me to just wait. No, I mean, I know you've got the acrobatics to do it. Because I remember that's how we did it last time. That was the table. That was even higher. Right, he jumped up on the table, and then on the next round he dove off in charge.

But you've still got a standard action. Right, that's, yeah. So I'm going to take, action. Right. So I'm going to take I'm going to fire a regular shot at the kill giant closest to me. Okay.

And natural one. Oh no! I never used this die. I should never. And we've got new fumbles. That's right. We have fan fumbles! Fan fumbles! Alright, let's see if we do it here. We've got new fumbles. That's right. We have fan fumbles. Fan fumbles. All right.

Fumble, fumble, fumble, fumble. All right. Let's see if we do it here. All right. Let's see another thing. 25. 25 exactly. No fan fumbles.

Jesus. Sorry, fans. Sorry, fans. Sorry, fans. Tune in next week when it's all we're playing in. All right. UMS. fans, tune in next week when it's all we're playing in.

Alright, UMS. Umlo is going to step in front of Baron, and he is going to ready an action. Be a human shield for the other characters. Yes, exactly. Stand in front of Baron. I... I always try to interpose

myself between a man with a gun and someone he's going to shoot at. Hey man, that's why I say nice's finished shooting at. Hey, man. That's why I say nice shot. What a good shot, man. And actually, you know, he'll take a little diagonal. And should a giant get within range of hot spit, Umlo's going to do what Umlo does and that's stab at him.

Nice. All right, so Umlo taking the same tactic as Baron. Must be a dwarf thing. Alright, the first hill giant, the one that Nestor shot at, picks up a piece of lumber and just boom! And like a big 2x4 comes flying

at Nestor's head and misses. And then the other one... And I have partial cover. Do I have partial cover because of the pew? On the bench, yeah, you can have some partial cover. Partial cover? And then the other one... And I have partial cover. Do I have partial cover because of the pew? On the bench, yeah, you can have some partial cover. Partial cover. And then the other one does the same thing throwing at Nestor because he's the one visible

and they both miss. Sweet. You see just lumber. You don't know what the hell's going up there. Maybe broken pews that are made out of wood. Chucking them down at Nestor. Sir Will. Sir Will is behind Baron and Umlo,

there between him and the stairs. Sir Will will just move, he'll just move around them and stand at the base of the stairs. Alright, so Sir Will... And wait for the enemy to come down. If they don't, next stand at the base of the stairs. All right, so Sir Wilkins... And wait for the enemy to come down. If they don't, you know, next round he'll charge up the stairs.

So now he is between Baron and any potential giants. Correct. Okay. Okay. Round dos dela. Knowledge check. Knowledge check. Okay.

It's going to be knowledge arcana. 29. 29. You don't have as good a view, obviously, from where you were, but it looks like he was activating a magic item

to turn into the earth element. A command word. Okay. Della is going to dart over to the pew next to Nestor. She's not going to get up on it, but she's going to grab his leg and banish him. Oh, cool. Ah, alright.

So you go over there. Don't climb up. Just touch him on the leg. Yeah, and then she's going to crouch down. Ah, okay. Crouch. Yeah, to give she's going to crouch down. Ah, okay. Crouch. Yeah, to give herself some cover. Thank you. Move your pawn, Della.

Thank you. Okay. All right. And that's your move, right? That's your action? Okay. Okay. Nothing happens from the earth elemental Baron.

Baron's going to move up the stairs. Baron begins moving up the stairs. Oh, shit. And he's going to move 20 feet and have a ready to action. He could move 40, but that would just put him defenseless. All right, so he just moves to the edge of the stairs. That's 20 feet for him. Still waiting, still seeing if anything's going to happen.

Nestor, you are now invisible on the pew. That's 20 feet from him. Still waiting, still seeing if anything's gonna happen. Nestor, you are now invisible on the pew. What do you do? I'm going to take a full attack on the same giant. Okay. First one with studied targets. Deadly aim.

Oh, man. That's 24. 24 misses. All right. No. Well, it's flat-footed. I don't know if that matters.

Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It does matter, and that is a hit. Yes! Awesome. Well, do you add the... Let me ask you this.

Do you add the plus four to the flat-footed as well? Yeah. Okay. Of course. Then it is a miss. Sorry, I lied. I wouldn't be surprised if their flat footed was the same. They don't have any text bonus. Alright, second attack with

the plus twelve bonus. Natural twenty! Maybe we'll see a fan Chris! I can't find it. It's Joe's phone. I can't find the... Oh, I's phone. I can't find the... Oh, I don't think I have it. Oh, you don't have it.

All right. All right. Critical threat. Critical threat. Critical threat. Critical threat. Roll to confirm. 28 to confirm.

That is a confirmed crit. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. The first ever fan crit. Okay. Let's hear it. All right. So roll a d20.

Plus sneak attack damage. I roll a d20? Yeah. Just roll a d20 and tell me the number. 15. 15. We have James from Meridian, Missouri. Missouri?

Or Mississippi? Missouri. What's MS? Missouri. No, that's Mississippi, right? Oh, it's Mississippi. MO is Missouri. MS is Mississippi.

James from Meridian, Mississippi. Shattering Striker. This is range?. is Missouri. M.S. is Mississippi. James from Meridian, Mississippi. Shattering Striker. This is range? This is range. The projectile, traveling with such force, easily enters the body and shatters against bone. Double damage and 1d6 bleed. Oh, wow. Nice.

Awesome. All right. Thank you. Thank you, James. Thank you, James. All right, so that's 39 damage. 39 damage. And now you still get sneak attack, right?

Yes, that is including the sneak attack. Right. Wow. Crip. Yes. Took a few shots. And 1d6 bleed on his turn. And 1d6 bleed on Hill Giant 1's turn.

Okay. And I'll take my final attack with the haste of the full bonus. That's a hit. Okay. Now he'll take my final attack with the haste of the full bonus. That's a hit. Okay. Now he's visible. Boom. Hold on. I will roll.

Roll damage. Actually, you wouldn't have. I was just thinking the first attack, he would have become visible. Yeah, so you don't get the sneak attack. Oh, right. If you just subtract that. I don't remember what it was. All right. Second attack is 22 damage. 22. Oh, right. If you just subtract that. I don't remember what it was. Alright, so

second attack is 22 damage. 22 damage, alright. Great, I'm going to call it 19 damage to make up for that sneak attack damage. And Nestor strikes first and strikes true. Yes. It is

Umlo's turn. Umlo with his enhanced barbarian speed, is going to move 30 feet up the stairs. Oh, they're just inching along. Umlo is the closest to the top, 10 feet. Oh, no. Is Umlo making it all the way up? Yeah, I think he's...

He's at the top. He's on the landing. Umlo is at the top. All right, you now see... So it's one move increment. What does he see? All right, so... Flight of Stairs climbs. What does he see? All right, so... Flight of Stairs climbs up to this large balcony,

which is blocked by a great curtain, stitched together from patches of animal hides. The wooden benches that once spanned this choir loft have been torn out, smashed, and pushed against the walls. Towards the rear of the balcony, thick wooden blankets and furs cover a great pile of stuffed sacks. Nearby, flies swarm around

a collection of wooden casks that stink of honey and alcohol. Mead. And, Umlo, I believe you've still got some room left to do stuff. Yeah, I mean...

Wait, is there actually another giant in the room? Nope. That was the pre-Earth Elemental giant. He has left the room. He has left the room. Would I be able to make a charge with 30 feet or is that too much diagonal? No, because you already started your movement.

Yeah, you already moved. Yeah, okay. So I'm going to hold my action and if someone gets within 15 feet, I'm going to stab at them with Heart Spit. You are... Okay. It's a readied action.

So you moved, and you're readying your standard action to see if they come up and get you. Alright, well, it is their turn. And sure enough, that first one sees you, sees blood, and comes running up. And you get your attack.

Ooh, 22. Well, plus the giant's bane is 24. 24 is a hit. Yes. Okay, so roll for damage. 22

points of damage. 22 points of damage. And thanks to Nestor, you did some good damage on him. He, of course, was charging at you Just nail you with a great club Natural one Interrupted by that

Natural one Roll the natural five to confirm the fumble That's a fumble We're going to another crit Fan fumble Fan fumble Do Fan fumble! Do you want to roll or should I roll? No, Troy will roll.

Okay. What is it? Roll a d20. d20. 13. 13. All right. Yeah, yeah.

This is from Chris from New Zealand. Bloody Butterfingers. Ew. You get blood. Yours or your foe's. This is the guy who's been drilled by Nestor, right? Right. So we'll Ew. You get blood. Yours or your foe's. This is the guy who's been drilled by Nestor, right? Right. So we'll say it's his blood.

He just got speared by Umlaut. He's got his own blood. You get blood on the grip of your weapon, making it difficult to keep a hold of. Make a reflex save. If you succeed, minus two to hit for 1d3 rounds. If you fail, drop your weapon. What's his DC? The DC is Baron's AC.

Or Umlaut's AC. Umlaut's AC against Giants is 25. Oh, wow. The Great Club flies from his hand. Off the balcony? He comes running down. I'll roll a D6 to see. Off the balcony.

One, two, three is off the balcony. He goes to swing and he's... He's poked in the chest by the spear. The great cub flies. And by the way, he gets bleed damage on his turn. This could kill him. Oh, shit. Roll bleed damage, Nestor.

1d6 bleed. Here we go. Oh, one. Shit. One will keep him alive. Damn it. Ever so much. Damn it.

All right. The other hill giant sees all this go down and is like, Shit! He just continues throwing lumber at Nestor. Natural one.

I'm not even joking, Troy! That is alright, so to confirm, I mean they're to hit on range this terrible 16. That's a fumble. Another fumble. All right, so to confirm, I mean, their hit on range is terrible. 16. That's a fumble. Another fumble.

Fumble followed by a fumble. Can I do a knowledge check to make sure he's not a four-armed gorilla? Roll a D10. I haven't done combat in so long. Out of practice rolling dice. D10. Two. Two. This is Revington from Harker Heights, Texas.

Writes in, almost Achilles. Your projectile hits an ally's foot, pinning them to the square until they take a full round action DC 15 strength check to remove the projectile from their foot. Wow. That's it. There's no save or anything. Nope. So he winds up to hit Nestor, and he hits the dude that Umlo just speared, and he is

now stuck in place. Yeah, he's stuck in place. Without a great club. Out of the reach of Umlo, because Umlo is 15. It's a DC 15 strength check to pull it off himself. Actually, no. Umlo's within range. You could probably wave that if you want, because he it off himself. Actually, no. I'm lowest within range. You could probably wave that if you want because he's a giant.

And it's just a long... Yeah. But it's going to keep him... He won't be able to move. Right. Okay. Well, that was a good round for me. That's amazing.

Not bad. Sir Will. Thanks, Rev. Sir Will. Sir Willamette. Emboldened by the sheer idiocy of these giants. Sir Will is going to... Let's see.

This is getting tight up here. Around ums at the top of the stairs. Okay, yeah, he will... I mean, he's just going to get into... He's just going to have to... Oh, no, he won't provoke. No, he's 10 feet away. So he won't provoke yet.

He'll just get 10 feet away. he won't provoke yet he'll just get 10 feet away and uh no you know what he'll he'll ride around past him so he'll provoke okay he's gonna attempt to ride into the room he's right into the right past the giant that is all bloodied and has no weapon all he does is swing out with his arm to try and slam you. 20 to hit. Miss. Yeah. Sir Will ducks the blow and then is in the room. And you see one hill giant that you just rode by. The other one in the back is throwing things at Nestor. And you're about 60 feet away from a large earth elemental. And Sir Will will enact total defense as a standard action.

Ah. Okay, so we'll... He's holding up the shield, readying himself for next round. Past the danger of that hill giant. Total defense. Yeah. Okay, round three.

Della, you've been casty-casty. Casty-casty. What's going on? Della's gonna cast Fly. And she's gonna rise up from behind the pew at the giant. You got 100 feet up to the top of the ceiling, so plenty of room. And she's, as she moves, she's gonna to rise up from behind the pew at the giant. You've got 100 feet up to the top of the ceiling, so plenty of room. And as she moves, she's going to...

Rise up. She's going to... There we go. From the pew. She's going to draw a wand. Uh-oh. Okay, so you're just hovering over the lip of the balcony? Well, she's got to move, so the round is her flying up towards the balcony.

And Della sees an ultramarine chaser appear from nowhere. No! No! I didn't even know that! All right. It is the Earth Elemental's turn. He's been biding his time, and now he has an enemy to attack. He's going to do something cool.

And so... Good prediction. Something cool. And so... Good prediction. Oh, boy. Let's see what we're going to do here. He is going to attempt to bull rush Sir Will off of that section. Oh, no.

So just like Earthglide, but not actually Earthglide. Just like... And comes up to try and hit Sir Will. And Sir Will's holding up Sophia, his little steel shield. And... Racing against the blow. And it is a 32. Oh, you're kidding me.

It was 31. Oh, no, I'm sorry. It was my CMD, not my AC. Are you kidding me? 31. He has improved bull rush. Does not make an attack of opportunity. Roll to stay in the saddle.

And, I mean, this should move you and lexington back but the whole idea was to knock you off of lexington so roll to stay in the saddle which is normally what uh dc20 i think dc20 and how much did i beat your cmd by uh the actual cmd was 27 27 yeah cmd not my ac so add seven to the check. 5. 27. Ride check. It was 32, right? So it's plus 5. Oh, yours is 27. I'm sorry. Plus 5.

So 25. DC 25. DC 25. 25. Ride check. All right. Here we go. Everybody ride check.

Got it. Get out of here. 31. Natural 19. Wow. All right. He absorbs the blow. He absorbs the blow. Absorbs the blow.

Lexington and him get knocked back a little bit. You just get moved back five feet. But he stays in the saddle. Wow. Okay. It is Baron's turn. Baron's going to move up five, ten, fifteen, twenty feet. This is a fun competition.

He's going to shoot the guy that's on his last legs. And he's going to get up close and deadly. Oh, that'll kill him for sure. Now, will that provoke? That will provoke. It's fine. Oh, wait. He already used one.

Unless he has combat reflexes. It's not a new round because it hasn't come to his turn again. So, Baron, you're safe. And he doesn't have a dexterity bonus anyway. So he wouldn't have another one either. That is a hit. And for damage, we're doing 21 points of damage. Oh, Jesus.

He did. He did. Hill Giant 1 has passed. The only one that has taken damage. Baron gets up into the fray. Okay. Baron, can you do anything else, or is that your... That's it. I moved and I shot.

I mean, if I were doing a full attack action, I could do more, but I'm not. All right. It is Nestor's turn. Nestor still safely perched atop that pew. Okay. I'm going to study the other giant that was throwing stuff at me. That is now, what, pinned? No, the other one.

No, the other one. The one that's dead was pinned. Yeah, that one. Oh, got it. He hit his friend while he was down. So I've got Deadly Aim, et cetera. That poor bastard. Take a his friend while he was down. So I got Deadly Aim, etc. That poor bastard. I take a first shot with the many shots.

And that is 24. 24 misses. Damn it. So many shots. Two arrows fly past. All right. One goes in the wall. Second shot with the plus 12 hits.

Ooh. Second shot coin. That is 16 points of damage 16 damage and third shot full bonus that's a 27 to hit and that's 20 more damage

wow okay good round by Nestor just softening up the hilly for Della to do some crazy stuff with a wand I don't even know about alright UMS is UMS 15 feet Off and up the hilly for Della to do some crazy stuff with a wand I don't even know about. All right, ums. Is Umo 15 feet away now? I'm not used to this 15-foot range. Or would I have to take a five-foot step in order to do so?

You put the ruler on you and drag it to them. And it's 15 feet. No. It says 20 feet. Okay, so I'm going to take a five-foot step forward and do a full round attack action against the earth elemental. Totally. I'm assuming, does it still count as a giant even though it transformed for the purposes

of giant's pain? Is it an elemental subtype and a giant subtype? I think it's not. No. It is like elemental body. Okay, cool. So I'm just adding plus 11 and no 2d6. Full attack action. First one, natural 20.

Parts. He's going to stick it in and put out mud. Get out of here. action. Yep. First one, natural 20. Parts. Parts. He's gonna like stick it in and pull out mud. Get out of here. Now that is how you play Umla. To confirm, do I need to? 21. 21 is not confirmed. That's exploding dice.

That is exploding dice. That's right. This episode has everything. It does. We're getting it all out right now. This place has everything it does we're getting it all out right now this place is everything so 2d6 no three to two uh nine points of damage on the first attack on the first attack arms really starting to feel hot and uh he's not gonna get the uh extra 2d6 elemental now uh second attack. 16 to hit. Final attack. Miss. Miss. Man, playing Umlo is a bummer. Spit got in one,

but the other two, this guy, you would know, Earth elemental, whatever he did to himself, it's boosted his AC. His natural armor. Hill giant one is dead. Hill giant two has realized that chucking things is not working out well, but now he sees this flying girl coming at him.

What does he do? Does he help out Ruddig, or does he chuck some wood at Della? I'm going to say chuck some wood at Della. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if, et cetera? He would chuck 18 to hit Della. Miss. Miss. So a 2x4 just

wheels past your head. And then he begins moving to try and help out the Earth Elemental. And it is Sir Will's turn. Sir Willimit. He has been jacked up by this Earth Elemental. His back's against the wall. So he is going

to get out of there. It's a terrible position to be in. So he will provoke an attack of opportunity from this thing to reposition himself in the far other side of the room to maybe get a charge off on one of these two giants. Classic Willy. Awesome. So this thing just, boom, Shades of the Mud Elemental, goes to slam Sir Will.

22 to hit. Miss. Wow. Nice. Wow. If you had fallen off Lexington, that would have helped. Oh, yeah. All right.

So, Sir Will, you are now in the back of the room. Classic Sir Willie style. Perfectly lined up with that hill giant. I've triangulated them, the two giants. Yeah, this is perfect. You can get either one. Do you have anything else you can do in this turn? No, I used a lot of movement to get over there.

Okay, you're hasted. Yeah, well, I can't start a charge anyway, so. Round four. Della and her magic wand. What's she going to do? I honestly don't know because I don't remember what your gear is. Della's going to come flying around, and she's going to circle around the mud elemental, and then she's going to use the wand, and she's going to circle around the mud elemental, and then she's going to cast, use the wand of crushing despair.

Oh, wow. I forgot we had that. All right. What's the save? DC 14 will. It's probably not going to work, but I figure it's worth a shot. DC 14 will. And this is to the hill giant, yes?

No, to the elemental. Oh, to the elemental. Okay. 18. All right. So he made it. He's fine. He's fine. Damn damn it what would have that

done again i can't remember minus two to attack saving throws ability checks skill checks and weapon damage that's pretty good yeah that would be pretty good it's a will will negates but it's a one so i always like where your head's at um where did we get to use that bottle cap i gave we got it from who did we get that that from? Was that from Pappy? Pappy Gutter Crunch? Oh, yeah. Wow, maybe. We've had it for a long time. That's a long time. Oh, it's Pappy Gutter Crunch. Alright.

It is... That sounds like a serious... Oh, we said we made that joke. It is Ruddig Headstomper's turn. Nice. Deli, you're... Stop some heads. You're still flying, I'm assuming. Yep, I'm above him. About 20 feet away as the crow flies. All right, and it looks like, as usual,

it's going to be ums taking the brunt of this here. Actually, that is a helpless creature there. So is cleave a full round action? Nope, it's a standard action. Oh, but they're not adjacent. They're not adjacent. Okay, so he will five foot step and just do

one attack at UMS. Natty 19. Ooh. With what? Hits UMS with just a slam. Slam. Da-da-da. Let the boys be boys.

Hits UMS for 15 points of damage. Boom! Boom! With a slam. And it is Baron's turn. Baron, you are now 15 feet away from this behemoth. Do you believe in full round attacks? I can feel my gun inside my hand.

I really don't think you're strong enough, no. I'll cleave you next round. That is a hit. You're not going to be alive through this round. It was her birthday a couple weeks ago. Share? I think so. Happy birthday to Cher.

Yeah. Or something. She was trying to... Maybe she died. Minimum damage, 13 points of damage, second attack. Okay. And I should let you know this is 13 points of damage, second attack. Okay. And I should let you know this is immune to precision damage. Got it.

I'm not adding any. You said 13, by the way? Mm-hmm. That is 16 against touch AC. Okay. That is a hit. That is 17 points of damage. Chip, chip, and away.

Third attack. Natural 20. Oh, my God. It is immune to critical hit, so it is just a regular hit. But that's exploding dice. Oh, exploding dice, you say? I'm sure. Why not? Seven. 19 points of damage.

Last attack. There's been so many grits and fobs. Another natural 20. Jesus Christ. Oh my god. I may have mixed up Troy and Mai's neon green dice. Exploding dice, come on. Eight.

Exploding dice. Eight plus three. Eleven. So 23 points of damage. Come on. That was like almost 100 points of damage. Wait a minute. Let's also remember you're using a gun in the cathedral.

Oh, that was Baron. Yeah, Baron. Yeah. All right. Wow, Baron. Alright, wow. Baron got a few shots off. Nestor. I'm so glad I didn't fumble. Wow. Exploding dice, crits, fumbles. Do another full attack on the

hill giant who's not turned into an elemental. First attack with the many shots. Fucking, that is the third seven I've rolled for a many shot. I'll miss again. Second attack with the mini shots. That is the third seven I've rolled for a mini shot. I'll miss again. Second attack with a plus 12. Natural one. Oh no!

Oh no! This is my worst one. Oh, 21. That is a fumble. Oh no! It's for the fans, guys. It is, I know. All right.

So do I roll a D10? D10. All right. Ranged Famba. Four. Your bro's broken. Steve Haywood writes in from Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Steve.

Errant shot. Normal damage to the closest ally to you. Oh, shit. That would be barren. Errant shot. You hit an ally. I mean, Della is closer to the closest ally to you. Oh, shit. That would be Baron. Aaron shot, you hit an ally. I mean, Della is closer to the enemy. Wait, hold on. To you.

To you. This is exactly what Skid yelled about for years. When he really hated that one, like, if you miss, you shoot your enemy. Right, but this is a one-anillionth fumble. This is a specific fumble. All right, so you hit Baron roll for damage. And you know what? Add 10.

Do I get cover? Do I get cover? I'm behind the... It's an automatic hit. There are fumbles, I will say, we've gotten from fans that say roll against your allies AC. Ah. But this one does not. And it's regular damage?

It's normal damage. Normal damage. The ones that say roll against your opponent's AC are double damage. Okay. Not study target. Turn that shit off. 23. Oh, wait.

Yeah. All right. 22. 22. I mean, 21. 21 points of damage. 21 points of damage. Barry, you just feel an arrow going your back like... You won't forget that, will you?

Maybe he wants to be the new boss. That's all you know. That's all you know, Barry. Sorry, mate. I swear to God that was an accident. All right. Sense motive. Sense motive. And the... Oh know, Barry. Sorry, mate. I swear to God that was an accident. Sense motive. Sense motive. And the...

Oh, last one. Although he is kind of laughing. I don't believe it. Third attack, full bonus. That's a hit. And... I can't believe this many crits and fumbles. I know, man.

This is crazy. 17 points of damage. 17 points of damage. Wow. Wow. And wow. Wowza. It is Umlo's turn. Wow. And wow. Wowza. It is Umlo's turn.

Umlo just took a big hit. Took a bite and a cry. From Ruddig Headstomper. It looks to me like he's not going to be able to get an attack off without taking an attack of opportunity. Because he's within five feet. He could take a five foot step back. And he's ten feet away. He needs to be 15 feet away to attack with the spear.

Yes, he's going to have to get out of there. Or he could lay down the spear and give up. Tell me what's going through your head. I surrender. I'll take the five-foot step. I will. You can't attack. Why not?

Because you have to be fifteen feet away. You can take a five-foot step to the left. To the left? Diagonally. To be fifteen feet away. You can take a five-foot step to the left. To the left? Diagonally. To be 15 feet away from the mud elemental? Yeah. Yeah, no. Everywhere he goes, he's...

I'm sorry. The square nut right next to... That's Baron. Yeah, that's 10 feet away. So he's moving and incurring attack of opportunity. That's fine. I'll take that attack of opportunity. So it goes to smash.

Umlo smash. 32 to hit. Hits. Hits Um's for 18 points of damage. Boom! As Um to hit. Hits Um's for 18 points of damage. Boom! As Um gets back, but now Um's is able to attack or continue running

against this party that will surely get him killed. Get a natural 20! Okay. Umlo's gonna attack. Alright. Umlo throwing caution. I haven't done any of my rolls to see if I have to going to attack him. Okay. All right. I haven't done any of my rolls to see if I have to needlessly attack people endlessly, so I'm going to attack him. You're attacking him anyway.

18 to hit. Miss. Ooh. Miss. All right. The hill giant. Della's still flying. All right, the hill giant.

Della's still flying. It is going to just throw something at Nestor, try to, and misses, and then continues moving. He's just trying to do the best that he can with what little he has. Living just enough for the city. Sir Will. All right, Sir Will, now with a free lane to charge, and with the new hill giant closing on his two allies, Umlo and Baron, in the corner by the stairwell. He's going to charge at that hill giant that threw something at Nestor.

You might take him out. And he's going to ride right under Della, who's flying. So directly under Della. She's up in the air. Della poops on him like a pigeon. Yep. The, uh... Della!

The, uh... Up alone, you know. Right in his visor. Oh, my God! He falls. He goes over the balcony and dies. All right. What a way to go.

What a way to go. All right. He lowers the Highbury Lance. Died like he lived. For Highbury! For Highbury! Rolls a natty 18. That's a 35 to hit.

There you go, little buddy. There you go. And he does 15 points of damage. 15 points of damage. Just Lance is the hell hill giant and you're like you're right up next to him. Yeah, now I'm right up next to him. Alright. Round five.

Dela Narn. Dela Narn Sir Will just softened that one up. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So Dela is going to uh she has a lot of movement with the fly and the hay so she's going to take the long way around And then come dive bombing in

At the hill giant Kick him in the face? Basically But instead she'll use a scimitar That she's going to key in shock So you're going like this? Exactly what you said except with a scimitar Okay

No kick in the face Just one attack Miss Oh man It's a 15 to hit No kick in the face Just one attack Miss Well It's a 15 to hit Plus one to attack because you're up on higher ground 16 to hit Still a miss

Reddick headstomper Well wait, I mean that provokes as well What? From the hill giant Diving into her, yes So that one has it's great club and swings and a 20. That hits exactly. Oh, no!

Oh, no. See, this is where they can do some damage. 19 points of damage as you're coming in. Just boom, like batter up. Little softball. And then it deflects your blow. All right. You guys have the upper hand here, but things are about to get a little stinky.

The earth elemental moves into cleave range. Oh, yes. Oh, that's right. He goes to cleveland. Oh, boy. They're standing right next to each other. We're going to cleveland. Guys.

You're standing on a dead ally's square, actually. We're going to cleveland. First attack is on Baron 26 to hit. Oh yeah, that's what you call a hit. Oh boy. Alright, so the first one hits Baron which means, ooh, 14 points

of damage. And then the second free attack against Umlo. Natural hit. Hits Umlo also for 14 points of damage, so just shades of the mud elemental again! Alright. People have taken some damage. Just caught all that

free healing from Atena. Baron, you're up. You are. We're gonna come stumbling back down the stairs to her. Are you guys sure? Seriously? Uh, can Baron five foot step Are you guys serious? Can Baron five foot step backwards to get out of...

That would be difficult terrain. It's a stair, so... Still be in range anyway. Baron's going to take the attack of opportunity and do a full round attack action on this guy. He goes to slam Baron. 21 to hit Baron.

It's an elemental, so that's exactly a hit. Hits for another 14 points of damage. Minimum damage every single time. Wait, and don't you get attack opportunity for every shot? Or is this considered one action? Or is each shot... No, each shot would be...

If he has combat reflexes... Oh, that's right, combat reflexes. Thanks for trying to kill Baron. Oh, that's right. Combat Reflex. So it doesn't matter. Sorry. Brett. Thanks for trying to kill Baron. This is how we learn. That is a hit. And that is... All right, so Baron, first shot, hit. 13 points of damage.

13 points of damage. Hit. 20 points of damage. Nice. Kills Ruddig Headstock. Oh, nice. Boom. Thanks to that last round and the exploding dice.

You got one more shot. Off Baron if you can sneak it at the hilly. I actually have four shots. Thought it'd be it for me. 21 touch AC so that's it. That is a hit. 15 points of damage.

15 points of damage. Okay. And eighteen against touch AC is a hit. Hit. Thirteen points of damage. And Baron finishes off. That's awesome. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

That would have fired a hundred shots in this cathedral, echoing everywhere. And by the way, Baron, it's been a long time since I've got to go fire a hundred shots in this cathedral, echoing everywhere. And by the way, Baron, it's been a long time since I've asked you, but I would like receipts for all these bullets you've crafted. I have seven alchemical cartridge shots left.

I'm going to make them when we rest. When you guys stop at the next town, he can buy nothing. All three Hill Giants dead, including the earth elemental just goes back into his drunken form. He stinks of that honeyed alcohol, that mead. And you just see that this sty up here

and Della and Baron and Sir Will, well, not Sir Will, sorry, can all detect great magic coming off of the belt. Want to know what it is? Yes. We'll find out next week. Sorry. Can all detect great magic coming off of the belt. Ooh. Want to know what it is? Yes. We'll find out next week.

No, you better not. I want to know right now. Do, do, do, do, do. I'll belt you. I will belt you on the mouth. Outro Music