The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 107 - Broom Service

Episode Date: June 13, 2017

As the ominous Dark Passage awaits, the party must first decide what to do with their friends high up above the Cathedral. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. Alright, what are we doing? What has this become? We're in the middle of Minderhall's Valley. Start acting like adults. In the shadow of a ferocious and angry GM. But of all the egregious insults

you have thrown my way in the past two years, none has been so great as the one that you've thrown at me today. And faced with a terrifying mission. Imagine how hard you worked to get to this cathedral. Remember that

run across? Yeah. You went from tent to tent and that major way across went under the fence. Now you've got to go back. A bold new plan takes shape. So if you want to get out of there, set up camp and

manufacture this situation it's not impossible. But the heroes will have to put their trust in a broom. Nice try, broom. I know your ways. You want to sell us all to Sauron? The adventure continues.

This is fun. I don't know why you guys look so scared. I'm having a blast. Just right now. Hello. Matthew here. It's been a while since you've heard from me. I never really know what to say in these intros, so I figured this time I'd just come in and engage in some shameless plugging. First is Skid's Theme Song Sweepstakes.

If you go to the Tumblr or the Facebook page, you'll find a link to a YouTube playlist and a Spotify playlist of theme songs for each PC and animal companion. They're not specified, but if you can correctly match a character to each of those songs and then also identify the order, because Skid is a crazy genius madman, you send us an email with your answers and you'll be entered into a drawing for a core rulebook signed by all of us, which I keep trying to tell everyone actually, I think, devalues the product. So you can try to sell it on eBay if you want, or just keep it always and treasure it for the treasure it is. Anyway, also, I should point out that our international listeners are eligible for this contest, though apparently some of the songs are blocked though so you can just use the titles or use a VPN to access them. Entries are due by Friday June 23rd and we'll have a Facebook live

drawing for the winner that weekend. Secondly on a more personal note so as some of you know I write plays and one of them which is probably my second nerdiest play, is getting a reading in Washington, D.C. at the Source Festival this weekend on Saturday, June 17th. Now, this isn't a production. There's no set or costumes or lighting or anything. It's just a reading with music stands and scripts. But it is open to the public. And if any of you are interested, I'd love to have you there. The play is called Frelmetch the Maneater and if Troy is listening the title does actually appear in the dialogue so yes

I fulfilled that stereotype again it's this Saturday June 17th at 8pm sorry for the short notice and tickets are available at sourcefestival.org and we'll post that information

on social media again no pressure this is just a reading but if you're in the DC area and want to come, I'd love to see you there. I will be there. And I'm just hoping it'll be a good night. Come up and say hi. And you can find me. I'll be the bundle of anxiety in the back of the room, just kind of nervously fretting. And if this is your thing and you're into that, there's a lot of other cool stuff happening at the festival as well. A full production and two other readings and some

other fun stuff along the way. So that is also available to you. Anyway, I've blathered on about myself for far too long, so let's actually get to the playing. Please enjoy episode 107, Broom Service. Well, it must be

real nice. Must be real fun just to come over to your old pal Troy's apartment, drag all your shit into my family home, scratch up my tables,

leave beer bottles and cans all over the place that my cats trip on. Where my cats sleep. Where my cats play with their toys. But of all the egregious insults you have thrown my way in the past two years,

none... Yeah, yeah, keep laughing. None has been so great as the one that you've thrown at me today. What would that be? So we're setting up. Give you guys a little primer.

We're setting up. Everybody's having fun. I started setting up at nine this morning. Seven o'clock at night. Now, actually, now it's like nine because we've been just goofing off. Setting up. Put everything out. You know, I put everything out because I trust my friends.

I trust them to do the right thing. Wait, Troy, you have friends? This is news to me. I thought I did, Grant. He's saying he trusts us, too. In addition to his friends. And the four of you. Long story long,

put out my neon green D20 at the top of my initiative tracker. And I say, hey, guys, bought a 12-pack of Coors Lights. Let's go out on the roof. Beers are on me tonight. Let's go have some beers, guys. Watch the sunset. By the way, that's the first time that's happened in 107 episodes.

Well, you finally earned it. He has never bought a beer for anyone. You finally earned it. And what do I get in return? I wish I was joking. I wish it was just part of some massive funny joke. One of these assholes stole my D20. Neon green D20.

Mean greenie. Mean green is and they're all laughing like no try i really don't i don't have it i don't know what you're talking about and they're so sincere they're so sincere in their fucking lies and one of these people grant's in here he's like i got my neon d20s and like they look like they're factory made perfectly pristine i'm like it I got money on me in my 20s, and they look like they're factory-made, perfectly pristine. I'm like, it's got mine. Quick shout-out to the geekery for

these sweet It's so weird that you found those factory-made dyes, as opposed to all the handmade ones. He only does artisanal green dye. Mine was handmade. It was carved from radioactive crocodile bone

That's right Hand carved The meteor came out of the sky Killed a croc Well I hope you guys are having a good laugh Good old fashioned laugh You know I watched a YouTube video About how dice are made

It's actually pretty interesting Did you see a video on how they're stolen That's the video I'd like to see how dice are made. It's actually pretty interesting. Really? Did you see a video on how they're stolen by your best friends? That's the video I'd like to see. I'd like to see that video. Hey, Troy, it's still... I just got a message from YouTube that said it's still processing. Oh, good, good. It'll be live in a couple hours.

Oh, well, should we just stop the recording? Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Not only, not only did these jerks steal my D20, one of these people. There's only four suspects. One of them actually had the gall to blame my cats. There are six suspects. No, my cats did not steal the D20.

One of them had the gall to say that. Did not steal the D20. One of them had the gall to say that. I set up a brand new place for us to record. It's a whole new setup. A whole new setup. We normally are set up all over the apartment, whether it be Joe's apartment, Matthew's apartment.

We were recording in Grant's apartment. But in my apartment, it's kind of been the new go-to place. Scattered, like brigands after a thunderstorm. We've been all over. And now I said, you know what? I want to do something special for these friends of mine. So I put my brand new kitchen table and I have the four of you sitting

what? Arms length apart. I'm touching Matthew and Grant's shoulder. I could do the same for Joe and Skid. Sitting around a table. Like we're actually playing Pathfinder. Except that the GM has hidden himself in the corner where we can't see him. Here I am waiting back here. He's sitting behind Matthew. Matthew can't see him.

Every now and then I feel something on my shoulder. He can only feel my hot breath on his neck. There's the beer. There all the beer went. There it is. Do you know what the most Troy thing about this is though? He made a huge Pomp and circumstance

Around setting up this new setup for us How great it was And then right after he told us all about it He said don't scratch my table Don't scratch my table Well get another table you don't have to scratch Or get a glass top for it I have four rules in this house

One, don't scratch my table. Two, Grant, shut my fridge after you take out a beer that you shouldn't be drinking. Why shouldn't I be drinking it? Three. I believe Skid and Matthew declined, so I get one more. Three, don't let my cats out on the balcony, Joe. Whoops. That did happen to me.

That was pretty bad. That's an example based on a true story. Joe shows up 30 minutes late, lets my cat out, and then has the gall to be like, well, you guys aren't set up. I'm like, oh, that's cool. Just let my cat jump to her death. That's cool.

I guess we're all even. In my defense, I only held the door open for like four and a half solid minutes. That's all it takes. That's all it takes. Rule number three. Rule number four. Don't steal my green D20. And your cats are basically wearing the boots door open for like four and a half solid minutes that's all it takes rule number three rule number four don't steal my green d20 and your cats are basically wearing the boots that nester has

you know where he jumped off so they could live they could live cats grace uh so within this new setup that we have i don't even want to play today uh what's the point i am sitting behind in this case matthew and jo, and it's really creeping out Matthew. I am over here behind my desk. And Skid, you mentioned as we were setting up that this is how Gygax did it back in the day. Not like this, but he was hidden? What happened? Yeah, when he used to play originally in his original game in his house, in his basement,

he put up a wall of filing cabinets, and he would sit behind it, and everyone else would sit in the other room, and they would just hear his voice coming up over the filing cabinets. That's amazing. So it was like that was the original DM script. Right, exactly. 50 filing cabinets. Of God. Yep. Wow.

It's not a power trip at all. That's what I was trying to channel. I wonder if— No, you were just sitting over there, and then you tried to justify it retroactively after I told you that story. Fair enough, but I wonder if Gary Gygax's friends stole his amazing dice. I wonder if that's part of the story. Probably not, because he was a good GM.

They probably liked him. They probably enjoyed his company. The big difference was they liked him. Gary probably bought beer for them before the 106th session. Wow. Well, you know what? You're not getting another beer until

episode 212. 212. Peaches and cream, anyone? Fucking thieves. Hey, are we about to face a bunch of benevolent monsters? No, you're about to face a bunch of creatures with the advanced template. That's what you're about to face a bunch of benevolent monsters? No, you're about to face a bunch of creatures with the advanced template That's what you're about to face

Well, I guess we'll do this episode That's cool Don't need my die Here's what we're going to be playing with today I honestly can't believe one of you stole this This is my backup It's green Rolled a natty 17

It is green I bought it the day that I bought it What did you call it before? Like little sister green or something like that? You named it. I like either Emerald Green or Seafoam Green. Seafoam Death. It has a ring to it.

I love that Seafoam Green song Forget You. It's really good. I don't know that tune. All I know is someone stole my dime. So I guess we'll play this episode. Hey, Troy, any news today? Any news today? Anything exciting happen to you?

You can really hear him breathe. I don't know where this is going. It was supposed to be just a simple toss and response, but you just blew it. Wait, do you know something that I don't know? I just know that you're missing your die. You've told us this. That was a bust. Thank you, Walter Cronkite.

Glad you were the first to break the story. You might want to quit that playwriting career and be a journalist. This is what happens when you go sit in the corner. We lose our rapport. We never had rapport. We never had rapport. Here's some hot breath. All right, what are we doing?

What has this become? We're in the middle of Minderhall's Valley. Start acting like adults. So that's 10% of your episode gone. Joe, give me a quick 10- description of what happened in one of six. I'm just going to stare at this shitty die that I have to roll. Well, to get us back on track here, we had decided that we were going to pursue this, the dark cave entrance.

The dark passage. The dark passage in the hope of finding the two remaining things we need to light the forge. The clay and the prayer. Right, you got the geodes, you got the horn, you need the clay and the blessing of Rosag. I'm sorry, I thought you

asked me to recap. I need to kind of spice it up. Joe, you sell the steak, I sell the sizzle. I sell the sizzle. I prefer the dry delivery, Troy. The dry recap. Yeah, nobody likes dry steak. Nobody goes to Switholinski and says, hey, can I get your driest steak?

Dry-aged. Dry-aged. Get out of here. I like mine well done with ketchup, just like our president. I like mine well done with ketchup Just like our president So we went to leave and we Sir Will failed a stealth check that brought down The wrath

The wrath of the choir loft upon us The wrath of the choir loft You're all familiar, that old tune That old chestnut It happens And we proceeded to Fight While screwing up the rules for total cover.

And it was over. And Nestor nailed Baron. Oh, that's right. Baron in the back. Baron, I think at the start of this episode, Baron has an arrow sticking out of his back that hasn't been addressed. And again, very sorry. Oh, yeah. Nestor did apologize.

I did. In the moment, I did. Has there been anyone In this party Who hasn't shot yet Well no It's only half down Now So I've got a lot to go

Barron's just walking around Yelling What happened But I don't remember Exactly where We left off We left off With the magical item

That's right Oh right But if you guys Aren't interested in that No no I want to hear Please continue. Please continue.

Is it a neon green T20? How about we make a little deal? I'm going to go into the other room, and if I come back and the die is magically behind my GM screen, then maybe you'll get this amazing magical item. No questions asked. I think that sounds fair. I hate all of you. Alright, so

Ruddig Headstomper is wearing a very powerful magical belt. I want to go on a limb here and call it a... I'm just going to make this up off the top of my head. A wondrous item?

Oh! Are we spellcrafting, bro, or are you just letting us know? You can. DC 72. Wait, what if we gave you back your neon green D20? DC 13. No, it's actually DC 21 spellcraft. Does anyone have spellcraft that is plus nine? Plus nineteen?

Plus nine? I'm plus eleven. I could give you a bit of luck and you could get there for sure. Touch of Law? Yeah, Touch of Law, whatever. Sorry, dead character Galaverus. Or Comatose, whatever. What do you got? Who's hating who? Touch of Law is going

straight to this man and he gets it automatically. Oh, so you have a plus... Plus 11. Oh, so that automatically gets it. 22. So Della walks up to this dead hill giant. He reeks of mead. His underlings bleeding out

and you sense great magic from this elemental earth belt. Ooh, sounds elemental. Sounds earthy. And here's where the fistfights are going to begin. This belt is constructed of flat pieces of slate connected with strong leather straps.

It grants its wearer a plus four enhancement bonus to constitution. Whoa. Holy shit. Oh my god. And the wearer is immune to effects that would push, pull, or forcefully move the wearer. Whoa.

Wait, what's that, Troy? There's more? Furthermore, once per day, on command, as you saw him, he himself do, the wearer can take the form of a large earth

elemental. What? This stuff is worth 24,000 gold pieces. Oh, my God. Wow. But available today at the low, low price of $19.95. Or one dead ogre.

Or one dead ogre. For just two, 300 gold pieces. For just two, 300 gold. Elemental Earth Belt. Let the roll-offs begin! First, before we do roll-offs, everyone make your case for why you think you should get it.

Obviously, everybody wants a bonus. Who doesn't want a bonus to their con? Umlo wants a bonus to his con. Umlo should participate in the roll-off. Everyone make your case. Start with you, Della. Della is a melee fighter who is probably the squish a melee fighter who has

probably the, is probably the squishiest melee fighter we have. Okay, what's your con? My con is plus two. It's a 14 con. You got a 14 con. 18. Obviously being able to turn into an earth elemental, you won't be able to do your keen and your shocking grasp

and all that stuff. You become an Earth Elemental. You cool with that? I'm cool with it. Because you want that plus four con. So that's your case. I'm going to say Matthew, not super convincing. Joe, Sir Will, what is his case for this Earth Elemental belt?

Sir Will is I think unquestionably the party tank he is the front line east armoryist uh guy hold on the guy that the guy that does excuse me can i make my case grant joe has excuse me can i finish excuse me can i finish piggy has the couch piggy is the couch i and the second time we've made that joke I know, it's a deep, deep cut Dick facts If you're talking about the world of min-maxing parties Sir Will has an 18 con

This would put him at Deity level constitution With a 22 con He'd be virtually unkillable It is very important that he not be moved Out of his saddle So having him stay in that saddle is important, and as

the tiniest creature, it would be amazing to allow him to be large and in melee combat. He would grow two sizes. Not unlike the Grinch's heart. Exactly. First off, two things. Baron, you're up. Two sizes can't ride Lexington

at that size. can you? no? as an earthling it would be to stand if you're unmovable can you be moved on a mount thirdly as to the tank you're talking about the guy that does ride by attacks and goes 50 feet past all our bad

guys? fair enough the guy that doesn't actually take attacks after he does a right by attack. So unlike Matthew and Joe, Baron's case was to tell you why Sir Will shouldn't have it. No, no, no. Skid you're up. Skid you're on the floor.

I have reasons. What is your con, Baron? No, let me give you my reasons first. Just answer the question, sir. And if you're nice to me, you'll get back your neon green D20. I don't have it, honestly. I don't know. No, so Baron is planning

more and more to get into the front line of things. Can I make a case for Baron to get the belt? That is the funniest joke I've ever heard in my life. Excuse me, sir. Excuse me, sir. Can I make a case for Baron to get the belt? That is the funniest joke I've ever heard in my life. Excuse me, sir. Excuse me, sir. I wrote it in my diary. Can I make a case? I laughed at it later that night.

Later that night. Wait, can I make a case, a side case for Baron to have the belt? You're making a case for Baron. Yes. Sure. Because if I don't get the... Troy is crawling around on the floor. While you're talking, I'm looking for my die on the floor.

Just in case. Because if Baron gets this belt, maybe he might be willing to give Della the belt of Incredible Dexterity. Ah. Sure. Selfish as always. No, no, no. So what I planned on doing with Baron with this belt

is to get into shooting range. And then once I am overtaken by enemies to transform into this earth elemental once per day once per day sure but in big battles to transform in this and to take the brunt of attacks from that point forward sorry not your plan is not to take a five foot step back and shoot four times against touch for 65 points asking for a friendking for a friend. Asking for Troy. That's not your plan anymore. Nope. And the other reason why... We're having fun.

The other reason why is I only have 102 hit points. Right, right. Oh my God. I don't have enough. So you're done. You're done talking. Now, Skid, I gotta ask you,

is Nestor interested in something like this? No, Nestor does not want this belt. Because the minute that he steps into melee, even if he is, happens to be an Earth Elemental, he becomes less... I mean, like the hit points that get the Constitution, especially after all that time being sickly after the thing in the cave with the fucking dwarf. But, no, his plan, what he would rather do is let somebody else have it.

I prefer Della. I think it makes most sense for her. And then take it off of her body after the rest of you die. Right, makes perfect sense. All right. Could I make the case for Amlo? Who's playing Amlo?

I was going to make the case for Amlo. All right, so Joe, you want to play Amlo? Well, I was just going to make the case for Amlo. That means you're playing Amlo? Because I thought I could make a good case for umlaut. I thought I could make a good case, too. All right, roll off.

Who's making the case for umlaut? Roll off. Roll off. All right. D20. And whoever wins is playing umlaut. If I roll a 20 on this and a 1 on the goddamn item, I'm going to be furious. Oh, sixes.

Oh, there's sixes. Joe wins. Joe wins. All right, Joe. No, those are sixes. Those are both sixes. Oh, it's a tie. What's your modifier?

Yeah, what's your umlaut modifier? Oh, Joe. No, those are sixes. Those are both sixes. Oh, it's a tie. What's your modifier? Yeah, what's your I'm low modifier? Oh, Joe wins eight to seven. So Joe... We got those shitty rolls out of the way. You are not only speaking

for I'm low, you are playing I'm low. He's I'm low. All right, I'm I'm low. In today's matinee, the role of I'm low will be played by Joe O'Brien.

I'm on my way to back. First of all... Thousands of people walk out of the theater. Everyone screams out of the theater. I mean, the demands for your money, but the box office is just old ladies just slamming on the window shutters. I'll get my money back!

Oh, Brian's washed up in this town! Honestly, for Umlo, it is no question. It's no question that it's got to go to me. I've been beaten down. My constitution is fucking embarrassing. I've got no way to fucking stay alive

in these close quarters combat. As it's become clear, my 15 foot reach doesn't do much of anything when everyone can just 5 foot step up and smash me to hell. And I've already gotten some of the most phenomenal, amazing items that are part of the story of this, and I think we keep going with the consistency

of what's worked for the story so far, and I get to keep getting the items that should obviously go to actual player PCs. Alright, everyone has made their case. My case for Umlo was just going to be one thing. That you're a whole bunch of selfish pricks. Well, I'm glad he got

me then. Your case was more eloquent. Mine had the pathos, though. Mine had a much more consistent Scottish accent as well. That's true. You're not going to get a bonus for that, though. Because you also referred to the story. That's what I'm up. So Nestor is...

He's very meta. He's very meta, yeah. Nestor has pulled himself out of the running. I am going to give the following bonuses to this roll-off. Baron, you get a plus one. What? You're lucky you got that. Della, you get a plus two.

All right. That's better than Baron. Yeah. Sir Will. I won. Thanks for the quick math, genius. You get a plus three. News and math.

Ooh. Ooh. Umlo gets a plus four. News and news. Ooh. Ooh. Umlo gets a plus four. Uh-oh. Ooh. So, Joe, I need you to pick two die, one of which is the Umlo die. Maybe you can use the D20 that you stole from me. Oh, you mean this one?

It looks pretty... Wait, does that it? No, it's not. I thought that was it. We do all have neon green die, don't we? All right, Umlo die, Sir Will die. Plus one to Baron, plus two to Della, plus three to Will, plus four to umlo. The cases have been made.

Baron, what do you got? Here we go. Nine. Ten. I got it! Wait, Sir Will got it? Sir Willumit! Ah, man.

Eleven on the die, two for poor umlo. That's a rip. Sir Will, you can trade that belt for a giant slaying crossbow. Everything's on the table. All right, so Sir Will now has a plus 4 to 5. What are your hit points now? What's the difference in hit points?

18 to 22. Well, the difference would be... Oh, yeah, you're going to get some HP. I went from 102 to 138. Hey, who needs paladin levels when you got HP? I have 82 hit points. I promised a tank. Wait, what's your max now?

138. Holy shit. My max is 82. I will never die! Promise me you'll never die. You're really going to regret that roll off if Sir Will becomes an anti-paladin. So how did this play out in terms of the story? I mean, we did the role,

but did the characters pull out dice? They were just like, Baron was like, I think I should get it. And Del was like, No, no, I shouldn't. Sir Will was like, No, I shouldn't.

And Elmo was like, Everybody shut up. And then Sir Will won. We did the dialogue already. Right. Good story. Welcome to Masterpiece Theater. That's how it all went down.

Hey, Grant, can I have that belt of incredible dex just as a gift? I think you weren't even in existence when I got this belt. She was stuck in a tree. All right. All right, so you guys defeat this small menace here in the choir loft. Your original plan was to get out that side door that Nestor had peeked into

when he saw the congregation of giants listening to Earth Ash's sermon. You know time is of the essence. Your original plan was to kind of, like, just get out and maybe, like, camp out near Rotter Blood Freckles' tent, maybe the Oculus' tent, and just recover some HP, and then under cover of darkness, make your way to the Dark Passage. Is that still the plan?

Can I bring up a topic for discussion? Absolutely, yes. Yes, you can. I was actually asking. Yeah, I want my dive, but... Yes. I think we should consider evacuating our friends up in the tower. We can use the broom of flying to help get them out.

Where would you evacuate? Let's assume that works. I don't even know if this works. But where would you evacuate them? Like bring them to you and then set the spike down outside of the cathedral? Because keeping them close is probably smart. Yeah, I mean, we could put them in the Oculus stand. We could put them outside that wall where we killed the Etten.

I mean... Way out there. Yeah, I mean, that's a little no man's land because that's where the giants come and they're like, alright, you can pass. Alright, so maybe not there. But I feel like getting them out of the heart of the evil would probably be a smart idea. We could actually... I was saying if we

wanted to, we could actually send them one at a time all the way back to True Now. I don't know how long that would take, but that's an option. Like Lork. Yeah, they could send the broom back. Yeah.

Just pin a note to Lork's sweater. It's like giving instructions on how to get the broom back to us. His paddington bear. Yeah. Give him his mittens. The broom flies that far? Yeah.

It takes a lot of time. So basically what would happen is you would send one of them and then it moves like four and a few per round would eventually get there you sent give it a destination and then it would come back and go one by one that's probably a lot more dangerous than just like bringing them from the from the top that's yeah putting them just outside the cathedral in like a little nook and cranny, which you guys know exists near the Oculus and Rotter Blood Freckles tents. Yeah, there's a... Setting a spike there. By the cliff face.

Like we could find a little indentation in the cliff face and set up shop there. And then they're there if you need them because you may need Pembroke. At a certain point, you may need him to join the fray. Sending him out of there isn't good. And right now, he's the protector of Aram and Ymir and Lork.

And Razzmatazz. And Razzmatazz. So the broom's able to fly through the air as if affected by overland flight. We know that because that's what Brander cast when he got out of there after feeble-minding Gell. Oh, it can only do nine hours a day. Trip to True Now might be actually a couple days. That would not be good, yeah. So another reason to just kind of keep them nearby. So the broom can carry

200 pounds and fly at a speed of 40 feet or up to 400 pounds at a speed of 30. It can travel alone to any destination named by the owner as long as she has a good idea of the location, which you do, and a layout of the destination, which you do. It flies to its owner from as far away as

300 yards when she speaks the command word. The broom of flying has a speed of 40 feet when it has no rider. So if you want to get out of there, set up camp, and manufacture this situation, it's not

impossible. We could evacuate Aram and Ymir and Rasmutaz and Pembroke on foot, and it's just lark that we have to, the broom would have to bring us to it. Well, the problem being on foot is you don't know if the tower's been repopulated. Right. True.

Maybe. Maybe. It would involve someone riding the broom to the top while we wait down below. No. Just send the broom. Yeah. Just send the broom. Yeah, just send the broom. I thought it was only 300 yards, though.

Yeah, it's 1,200. That's if you speak the command word. Oh, okay. Yeah, any destination named by the owner. Okay. So let's talk about what you five are doing. Going out that side door, like you grab the Earth Elemental Belt,

Sir Will straps it on, got a big buckle, says E. Feeling Will straps it on. Got a big buckle. It says E. Feeling healthier. Even healthier. Just look at that 22 constitution. Oh yeah, I overestimated my hit points. It's just 120. Halfling's 120. You liar. To be fair, I intend

to tank. I will. I promise. So, you guys want to go out the door that Nestesta peeked in just like grab shit and get out yeah before more before the uh before the recruits come back i would like to point out that we've just uh uh set off a hand cannon uh numerous times in a place with excellent acoustics that's right and it might be a good idea. We should be on the move, yeah. The old magic handbanger. Okay, so you guys just head out. So you get outside and it's... Oh, I've been here before.

You see... Probably Sir Will and Della and Umlo did not see Rotter Bloodfreckle's tent, but now you guys are really close to that tent and you see what Nestor and Baron saw when they snuck up there. So maybe you cover behind that. You don't see any threat. Go up to the Oculus' tent.

Off in the distance, a plane lands on top of the Cathedral of Minderhall because it just happens to be, not unlike my apartment, close to LaGuardia Airport. So you guys... And luckily there's not a lot of planes flying in and out of there during an episode

we'll be fine that's a one time deal so you guys make it back out there both bodies are gone and you're back in the oculus's tent and this is where it all went down for Sir Will

this is where he first was disconnected in this place. It is a place of great unholiness for him. Perhaps you should consecrate it. Yeah, actually. It's not a bad idea. But you can't because you're not a paladin anymore. Have I had any gods to pray to?

Where's your god now, Sir Will? My god is Minderhall! So what are we going to do? We're going to rest here? Let's say it's 4 o'clock in the afternoon, so you could do eight hours instead of minutes. No, no, no, because we specifically waited until nightfall.

No, no, we were coming out to the tent to rest. Yeah, you wanted to... Until nightfall. This is after our rest. We got interrupted. No, we got interrupted on the way to the rest in rest. Yeah, you wanted... Until nightfall. This is after our rest. We got interrupted. No, we got interrupted on the way to the rest in the tent. We were going to come to this tent and rest. Oh, I thought we were going to wait downstairs and then come out.

That's what I thought, too. No, because coming out at night, that's when they're all in there. Oh, right, right, right. Right, so by the time you get to the tent, it's 4 p.m. You can rest eight hours and leave on the cover at night, which was your original... rest eight hours and leave and head out at night, which was your original. Is there a check we could do to see if the bodies that disappeared

disappeared because of the demonic heritage of the Oculus or because someone trafficked in here and took them away? Are there drag marks? Are there cart marks? If you were to try and figure that out, maybe that would be an

option if Rotter Blood Freckle's body was still there. But both bodies are gone. Are there any cart tracks or anything like that? Fresh tracks? No, you see drag tracks. Okay.

The bodies have been removed. So people have been here, so maybe it's not safe to rest here. Maybe it is. Right, maybe they were already here. Because they've already been here. If we bring the spike down, we could rest anywhere we want.

Sure. Well, what's the plan here. If we bring the spike down, we could rest anywhere we want. Sure. Well, what's the plan? Why don't we get everyone down, wait till nightfall, so people don't see a broom flying around, and get everyone down and then set up the spike in the lee of the cliff wall and then head towards the hole. Can you do me a favor and just make sure you bring down

orfas's discarded lung just back back to the tent i would really love to spend some time with it i miss him i'm sure they can send a message uh if we're gonna rest i can fly up to no it says lung let's put it on the broom lung question mark, question mark? What the hell does this mean? A picture, like a Grey's Anatomy picture of a lung. So, Della, I'm assuming you're the one controlling the broom right now. Like, do you just say, go? Yeah, I mean, I have a working knowledge of the location. I could also fly it up there. That's the other thing I was saying.

So what do you want to do? That would be cool. You should do it. Because they're not going to know to hop on it. Do you want to vanish yourself on the broom? A note on it that they could think it was some sort of intrigue that they were being tricked into. It could be a trick. The old broom trick.

I could vanish myself, sure. A classic giant tactic. Not going to fall for the old broom trick. Three-card broomy. Nice try, broom. I know your ways. You want to sell us all to Sauron? Treachery of a broom is unmatched.

Delz, are you going to jump on, vanish, go full scene? What are you thinking? I think, yeah, I'll have to banish myself more than once. But that's fine. Are you doing the wand or you're casting spells? Why are you going to waste all that? It's under cover of darkness. You're fine. It's not like there are dragons in the air.

It's not like there are drakes in the air. Just flame and shock the scimitar and go. Beacon, little beacon. Look at that shooting star. I will save my spells in case I have to vanish some of the people coming down, so I will just risk it and cast Fly and then head up to the tower.

So noble. Bottle cap. Roll a stealth check. And unflame your scimitar, I assume? Yes. I'll sheath it. You know that's a standard action to relight. Yes, I know. We're having fun. Why don't we play with you people?

What'd you roll, Dallas? Not good. 17. That's a natural 5. So Dallas is like, I want a broom! And she curiously flies up the tower. Oh, yeah. Everyone, look!

I want a broom! Hi, guys! All right,! I'm on a broom! Hi, guys! All right, so, like, I'm thinking of it in terms of, like, you have not ridden this magical broom before, so it's a little unwieldy

at first. It's also giant-sized. It's not like you're like, yeah, exactly, like, getting used to it is a little tricky. It's like driving a Suburban. You know, but you get...

Or an empty cargo van where it's just like, cargo van where you're swinging all over the highway. Yeah, you're a little like, oh, oh! But, you know, you make it up and maybe, I don't know if you're allowed to hover for a second, but you don't sense any problems. You know that the opening on the top of the cathedral, which I think I said was like 600 feet up, I'd have to look it up, is on the other side of where you guys are. So if you sneak up this side here, you keep going,

you keep going, you get to the top, and eventually you've got to turn around and come into where the rest of your party is. Roll another stealth check. She's a different die. No, I can't use my neon green. Oh no, that's the one you lost your roll off with! Oh no, it doesn't.

22. 22, eh? You get to the top of the tower. Gross. Everything seems extremely quiet. In the distance, though, you can hear like... Oh my god. No.

Oh man. Oh my god. No. Maybe it's just your mind playing tricks on you. But everything seems to be okay. And you come around and land on the landing where the young red dragon fought you. You stood toe to toe and dealt out 64 points of damage before you almost died, and you land right in that spot.

Roll a perception check. Oh, God. Oh, boy. 27. To your left, you see just, you know, like sunburnt stones from where treasure used to be, because you guys piled it into the bag, so it's kind of faded a little bit.

You walk around the wall and see absolutely nothing, but you know that unless something crazy has happened, your friends, both new and old, are hidden there. Do you interact with these, Spike? Yeah, do we set up some sort of code word? What do we do? Melted cheese. I think that was the code. Melted cheese.

What's the reply? On beef. On beef, okay. So yeah, I creep up there and I whisper, melted cheese. A second passes, and you hear, on beef!

Razzmatazz remembers! He knows his code words. All right, I'll slip into the protection of the spike and explain the plan, I guess. Okay, so you come in, you see Pembroke, Razzmatazz,

Lork, Ymir, and Aram. And it stinks. It really stinks. It's like melted cheese on beef. It's like melted cheese on beef. What's going on? What are you doing here? Hello, my dear. I thought you'd quite

forgotten us up here. It's quite cold and you know. I thought you guys might want to... change of location. Oh, yes. He doesn't have any feet! Well, yes, that's true. Don't talk about me like I'm not here.

Sorry. Del will hold up the broom to Pembroke and say, Recognize this? Oh, yes, yes, that is a broom of light. Yes, I've seen one many years ago. I can use it if need be. I think we may all need to use it. Yes.

Will that get us out of here, Pembroke? Yes, I think. You'll have to hold on rather tight, I think. I don't know if you're up to it. My arms are still strong. I can do it. I'm up to it, honestly, but let's do it. Let's try. I don't think it's safe up here for much longer, even with this magnificent shelter that you've put up for us. We have a secure location down below. We'll get you down there, and we'll set up the spike,

and we'll assess from there. Good, good. So you think you can probably do this in two trips, you know? It can carry 400... Excuse me. Yeah, it can carry... It can carry up to 400 pounds if it goes slower, so you can probably put the two young men and Pembroke on there and then do Razzmatazz and Lork.

That's a sitcom waiting to happen. Razzmatazz and Lork. Coming soon to the WB on the second ride. And Della, you could just fly yourself or feather fly. I don't even know what you have. So yeah, you could do this in two trips. I'll cast Invisibility. Oh no't even know what you have. So yeah, you could do this in two trips. I'll cast invisibility. I only have a... Oh no, I can do it twice.

I'll cast invisibility on each of the... I guess I have to do it on a person, don't I? Yeah. Yeah, because if you did it on the broom, you'd just see people flying down. Like Wonder Woman's invisible jet. So that's probably not even worth it.

But you feel confident enough sending them back exactly the way you came. Yeah, because the tower hides us from the valley and the cathedral. We're behind the tower until very low to the ground. Right. The part that's open to the sky is the northern part, and the eastern part is what overlooks the valley. But even that is so far away from anyone looking up. So if you stay to the south and the west, like the way you came up, you think you'll probably be okay, but you know this is a drake and dragon infested area.

Right. So who's going on the first trip? I'll put that to the group. Why don't we send Lorc first? Alright. So that he's the most vulnerable of us.

So if any trouble happens, then... Wait, are you Nestor? No. No, no, no. If there's trouble here, while we're doing this ferrying, if, for instance, we left Lork alone up here with one other person,

we'd be in a much worse situation, so we should send him first. Sorry, over these days, Lork has grown to really rely on Pembroke's calming nature and his intelligence, his rationale, and so he'll do pretty much whatever he says at this point. I can imagine if you've been having a crisis of not even wanting to be alive anymore, intelligence to his rationale. And so he'll do pretty much whatever he says at this point. Yeah, I can imagine if you've been having a crisis of, like, not even wanting to be alive anymore. Right, exactly. And Pembroke has had visions of his own death.

I want to hear that conversation. It's kind of therapeutic in a way. Yeah, yeah, because I'm sure you can both learn a lot from each other. Razzmatazz is cool to go on either journey. And obviously Aram and Ymir are there at, pretty much they assume Pembroke is the leader here. So why don't we just send one of them with Lork on the first trip?

Before you go, Della says, I found something you left behind, and she hands him Gorim's thorn. Oh my god. In case you run into trouble. Lork takes it. He's like, where did you find it?

Down in the grog hall. We had a putsch down there. And a friendly giant was keeping it for us. Well done, Della. You've done well. He doesn't really know what else to say. He takes it and sheathes it. Sumi still has the sheath.

And gets on the broom. Yeah, Aram puts his hand on Ymir's shoulder and is like, Brother, you go. I will stay with the old man and the cretin. So Ymir gets on with you. man and the cretin. All right. So Ymir gets on with you. So we'll fly down. So you make your way down, unmolested,

and the broom arrives at the opening of a tent that is full of filters and all sorts of potions and whatnot. Maybe you're evidence of a battle a while ago. Is it safe? It's as safe as anywhere else right now. We know that they took away the remains

of those we battled earlier, so we're not quite sure, but this is the best we can do where we are now we should probably get moving as soon as we can i know that that's might be an issue for you look but i think we really should uh consider it i stayed on the move is the best for alia but i'll try to haul up in here and perhaps we should get we should get like some casters or some things like some little wheels like we can put like on your uh your ankle stubs that's not funny i'm not trying to be funny helpful mate i i will

say this much it was occupied by a fearsome force who i think the rest of the giants were scared of so i think that this is uh for lack of a better term hollowed ground for you for the time being. You should be safe. All right. So, Della, you just call it back? No, you have to send it back. I have to send it back? Okay, so I'll do what Della told me to do in order to send it back. It's too far away for me to call it.

So you send it back, and I just drew here very rudimentarily Rudimentary. Rudimentary. Rudimentary. What your situation is. Because we're not using Roll20 today. We're using my table that you're all scratching up. This here is the cathedral.

This is like Tower 1, where the hill giants were, where they all got infested. This would be Tower 2 and Tower 3. And this is the Rotter Blood Freckles tent. And here to the south is the Oculus' tent. And that's where you guys are going. So this thing here, the broom is flying up this side of the tower to go to the middle tower.

Way, way, way up here. This. Always the best choice of words. Right, this. You guys see that? This right here. This neon green D20. Right here. Oh, wait, I can't fight.

The tents that Troy just drew look like giant lily pads, so watch out, Matt. I'm having flashbacks. I do everything on purpose. He's a psychological torturer of a GM. So the broom makes its way up. Solo, right? Nobody on it. Goes up and by now you guys are probably working the spike out.

You're like, all right, I hope we'll be okay. Pulling the spike out. Troy is making a very suggestive pantomime of pulling the spike out right now, I should explain. We're having fun. Troy's having fun. A little too much fun. Aram. Razzmatazz.

I think the three of us can actually... might be able to go. Oh, yeah, because Razzmatazz weighs 80 pounds soaking wet. Pembroke and Della, who has... She can fly on her own.

She can fly on her own. So the broom comes up. Della... I could also cast fly on one of you if you didn't get on the broom oh I fly anyway I've always wanted to fly

so you and I will fly together we'll hold hands like Lois Lane and Superman can you read my you wanna fly like a red cap? This is fun.

I don't know why you guys look so scared. I'm having a blast. Just get on the broom. All right. It's wide. That's smart. Just stop talking. Okay.

Should I scream on the way down? Whatever you do, don't scream. All right. So Razzmatazz and Aram, that unlikely pair, ride the broom down together while Della and Pembroke slowly fly down. Shall we, my new friend? Yes. Yes, we shall. It'll feel nice to fly down. Shall we, my new friend? Yes. Yes, we shall.

It'll feel nice to fly again. Adela, you can see that Pembroke, I mean, when you first met him, no, he wasn't in like a lork shape, but in bad shape. I'm still kind of messed up. Yeah, but you can see he's regaining his strength. He's had a little more confidence than when you first met him.

I can stand unassisted. I can fly. And you guys make it down. And now it's everybody. Della takes you by the shoulder and rushes you into the tent. Like Secret Service style. Yeah, I put my hand on the head. Yeah, exactly. Lork, Sir Will, Della, Baron,

Nestor, Pembroke, Razzmatazz, Aram, and Ymir, all in this tent. And I assume Della is just holding that magic spike. What's the plan? You know, say this took an hour, if you guys did it very cautiously. No one has come after you.

You know the night is approaching. You want to rest and head out at 12, 1 in the morning to try and make it to the Dark Passage? I think immediately we should head to where our permanent base is going to be, put the spike in, and then go to the cave.

Do we want to rest? Are we going to rest or no? I don't know. Didn't we already rest? No. The antenna healed you. I'm sorry. But then you guys got a little beat up in that last fight.

Your plan was to get out here and rest. And you do have the time to do it and leave under cover of darkness. If we can rest and still leave before the sun comes up, then we should do that. Totally. You can leave at one in the morning. Okay. Let's do that then. Great.

All right. Before we rest, I'm going to do a quick heal myself. Burn some wands. Oh, yeah. I should do that. Totally. You can leave at one in the morning. Okay, let's do that then. Great. Before we rest, I'm going to do a quick heal myself. Burn some wands and heals. Oh yeah, I should do that too. And then you get your level plus your con back. I guess, are we just going to put Lork on the broom and use it as like a

little hover stretcher? Yeah. Like Han Solo's carbonite body. You guys are also coming back to the cathedral, unless you have other designs, so you can leave them... There are places you can leave them behind the main gates of the cathedral,

like below the plateau. It's up to you. I just think, what about right up against the cliff where the towers are? Up against that cliff, put the spike in, make it look like a rock extension of the cliff, and then you just hide in there. In a lee. In a lee of the cliff.

And smear some fecal matter around there so they don't smell like humans. I'm 100% behind this plan. That's just science. I'm asking for this for episodes. That's just doing your due diligence. And Del is carrying the new wand of Cure Light Wounds now, right? We got a new wand of Cure Light Wounds now, right?

We got a new wand of Cure Light Wounds? Yeah. Yeah, we did. We found one. Oh, okay. But we used a lot of it already.

Oh, is this the one with 22 charges? Correct. We used eight charges. Could I have two hits? Brandon's down three hit points. He needs some charges. I'm actually down 30 hit points

because of Nestor. Six. Let's make it short. Seven. Six. That was make it sure. Seven. Six. Seven, six. That was hardly all me. All right, so you guys doing some healing.

21 of it was. Well, that's a drop in the bucket for him. You have a very, very good bow. I know. Almost lost it. All right, so you guys are healing up. You guys are getting kind of ready to leave.

Some five hour energy. Imagine how hard you worked to get to this cathedral. Remember that run across where you went from tent to tent and then at night made your way across, went under the fence. Now you've got to go back.

And the only way that you know that maybe there's some sort of map to figure out where to find these things might be in the Dark Passage. According to Atena, Nestor may be some sort of reincarnation of Adoromi, the Priestess of Crystals.

And Baron may be somehow tied into this Jogrethir, the Hunter, someone who you've already read his story because he left journals behind, etched in slate. And maybe Della is somehow tied into Mimrith, the Maker. Very important part of this journey

as the clay that was somehow involved in this ritual is still out there and you don't have it. And then Sir Will who is having a crisis of faith to say the least. She is tasked to you specifically with retrieving the blessing of Rosak.

So you rest, you go over to the wall, and you put Lork and Pembroke and Razzmatazz and Aram and Ymir in an even safer location now, because those cave giants and, excuse me, those stone giants and the bear may not come over here, and if they did, they wouldn't think anything to see a rock. You lock them up, and you make your way back to that, like, tunnel underneath the poop chute. You crawl under there.

Quarter past one in the morning, and you are on the other side of the walls. To the west, excuse the walls to the west excuse me to the south is where those camps where all the families of giants were and on the opposite side of that is where you saw the dark passage what do you do?

I should say and we can do this off air a little bit but I think Della and Pembroke would have done a little spell book comparison we can do this off-air a little bit, but I think Della and Pembroke would have done a little spellbook comparison. Yeah, we can worry about this later. We can nerd out. Spell exchange. Spell exchange.

That could be bonus content. I don't want to hear that conversation. Alright, so yeah, you guys can share spellbooks and learn from each other. More Della learning from Pembroke. Well, it's like Napster for spells. That's exactly what it is.

And Sturwill kind of wants to put this to Baron as the leader of this little sortie. Obviously, he's going to take his... He's going to disarm from all his armor to do this move through the poop chute. Do you want him to put his armor back on on the other side and be like... I mean, you can't stealth, essentially. This is

Asgroth's armor? Yeah, and Lexington's armor. Or do you want us to put the armor in the bag of holding and try to go silent but be much more vulnerable? You can still wear the belt, right? Yeah, I can still wear the belt. We have... Yeah, the belt gives me a lot more life, so that definitely factors in. I think that

we can't... Well, Baron will say in. I think that we can't... Well, Baron will say this. I think we have enough know-how here to be able to find a moment and when we can sneak you across. And I think something that could help us improve your stealth would be a low-flying broom. I think that we can get across with our stealth checks, Nestor, Della, and I. And then,

when it's safe, have the broom bring you and Lexington across. Low to the ground. Might be a little bit sneakier than you just walking on your feet. How is a wolf going to ride a broom? He walked up and downstairs, didn't he? Yeah.

I don't think that's an option, Sheriff. Lexington is a spectacular beast. Listen, mate, from my perspective... But I don't know that he can... He doesn't have opposable thumbs, fucker. I think you should strip naked and just don't... You've got that belt. We saw what it does. And I think it'd be way more

interesting if you get into a fight like with that. I think that's really the only solution. That's the only way, mate. If the broom don't work, if the broom doesn't fit, you must undress. Do it. So Della and Baron and Nestor and Umlo

and a very naked Sir Will. I love nude with the belt on. Nude with just a belt. I imagine him like nude Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes. Just running with his weapon in his butt. He's like the Coppertone baby. Climbing.

You guys all climb under and you're there. And so what do you want to do? You are on the correct side to get to where that passage was. Because when you guys first ran across, you went south and saw all these families, and the cave was on the opposite side of where this encampment was. But now you guys are on the east side, which is the side where the dark passage is, where the cave is.

So you guys can just keep going along that wall and hope you don't attract any giants. Yeah. I mean, let's just make our way... Oh, and Baron's going to use the Hand of Stone to feel every couple feet, 30 feet, and radius around Tremorsense

for any beings we might not see. We're taking all my time. So. Cover of night. Oh no! I actually turned off the lights and I'm afraid. You guys slink along the wall.

Eventually you see giants within hundreds of feet, 200 feet, 150 feet. It's the same thing. They like, kids running about and families. And also people coming and going with wood. Some people coming back covered in wounds. Still can't quite piece it all together.

But you see, maybe 500, 600 feet away, the entrance to the Dark Passage, as Atena called it. Everybody roll stealth check. I'm having trouble reading. Would anyone like touch of law before they roll their stealth check? If you have a neon green d20 it works in the dark. You assholes. Let me use it.

24. 21. Baron got a 29. 12. Sir Will, got a 29. 12. 12, Sir Will. Naked is his name day. Still.

He's just not a sneaky halfling. Loudly flopping against his legs. I hear it in the distance. But you are able to make your way to the passage, and there's just so much going on in this little giant village, we'll call it, that not unlike when you were in the cathedral and there were the recruits way on the other side, it would take a firebomb for them to see you

and turn their heads, turn their attention, so you make it to the mouth of the dark passage. Complete darkness up ahead. Not dim light. Not like torches and sconces. Complete darkness. It's about 7 to 10 feet wide, the corridor. And Sir Will can't see if it's complete darkness.

Obviously he can see some outlines, but he can't see anything. Nestor can't either. Although, we did... I was listening back to the early, early episodes recently, and we did get a potion of darkvision at some

point, which I don't think we ever used. So, maybe one of us could take that yet another reason to record your game two years later i think we also didn't use our uh smoke stick we got on the assassin's true we all those uh sternal swords we also have some universal we have some universal universal solvent and the some universal solvent. Yeah, we have the universal solvent and the sovereign glue. The sovereign glue, yeah. Yeah.

Just listened to that one recently. Yeah, I mean, you got some options if that stuff still exists. Well, if it's pitch black, then it won't help anyway.

Yeah, I mean, here's the thing. You can cast light. Dark vision would. You can cast some sort of light and stuff, but then if there's anything in the

cavern, you're going to be giving yourself away. So you've got to decide what you want to do. You want to go in dark and hope for the best, because three-fifths of the party can stay in dark. It's clearly a time for the sheriff and his little deputy to do a bit of a scouting mission. All right.

We could also, you know, you could put your, if you trust us, you could put your lives in our hands. We can guide you along. And if something goes, we see something up ahead, that's the time. Well, yeah, that's the whole point. Yeah. We follow you guys. Why don't we put a little.

Just hold on to me. Why don't we all hold a rope, not tie it around ourselves, but we have like kind of, you see this happening with like school for the blind and deaf sometimes when they walk up and down the street that everyone's holding a rope so that they don't get lost. But they're not going to combat situations. It's true. They're not going to be set upon by ancient evil. All right.

I like it. I'm going to take the potion, unless there's anyone who objects, in which case I'm going to take it over their objection. I mean, sustained. Sir Will certainly does not object to Nestor taking the potion. You know what I'll do? I can cast light on some object, and we can just cover it up. Sir Will certainly does not object to Nestor taking the potion. You know what I'll do?

I can cast light on some object and we can just cover it up. No. And you can reveal it if you need to see. Yeah, that works. Also, if we get into any shit, Sir Will can just light a torch. But you have to have a hand on it. You have to take this. But it's a full round action.

That's the only problem. Del will come and say, draw your sword. So she'll cast light on the blade and you can just sheath it. So she casts light on Rose Light. And I will sheath it. So you don't see the light, but if I draw it, it'll light up.

So Baron, Della, and Umlo all have darkvision. Nestor chugs a potion of darkvision. And Della casts light on Roselight, and you sheath it, knowing that if you were to unsheath it, it would cast... Like the light of the gods, Troy. That's right. The light of the gods!

But what gods, Sir Will? Oh. But what gods? Minder Hall? Yeah. Talk to me about party order. You can fit to, like, side by side. It's a little thick.

But you can do it, at least for the opening of the cave. Talk to me about party order. I'll go side by side with Nestor. Up front? Yep. Yeah, we'll be up front. Baron and Nestor. I don't want a guy that murdered his father behind me.

In the van, guys. Joe set up the minis with all four of us up front and Sir Will about 60 feet back. I love map humor. I get a kick out of mini map humor. It really plays well. You do it all the time. I do it all the time. Joe's having fun.

It's endearing. I'm 100% sure you stole my diet, too. I know it was Joe. You broke my heart. I know it was you, Fredo. I'm holding on to 50 feet of hemp and rope. I know it was Joe. I'm holding on. You broke my heart. I know it was you Fredo. You broke my heart.

I'm holding on to 50 feet of hemp and rope. I think I'm fine. All right so we got Nestor and Baron up front and then we're going to

do Della. Excuse me. That was the front. I already did it. Troy comes over and just rearranges everybody.

You put Sir Will in like my bedroom. Wait but that's Della. Wait that's what Wait, that's... What are you doing? Yeah, what are you doing, dog? No, no, no.

Troy screwed it all up. Oh, my fault. All right, so Sir Will is in the back. Yes. All right, so Baron and Nestor. Omlo and Del. Sir Willy. I just love this image of, like, Sir Will's like,

I've got the flank. And he turns and just can't see anything. And he's like, shit. I hope nothing comes from behind us. So you guys are walking through. And obviously, those of you with dark vision, you're seeing everything in like black and white. You know what I mean? You can see everything, but it's like... It's like night vision.

Monochrome. Like dog dreams. It's actually outside of our umgebung. What? There's the umwelt and the umgebung. It's like we have no... If you're not colorblind What? There's the Oom-velt and the Oom-ga-boom. It's like we have no... If you're not colorblind, you have no idea what it's like. Shut up, Matthew. Explain this on cannon fodder and let's just move on.

Okay. Oom-ga-boom-ga. Black and white. There's a delay on that one. Thanks. Good. And you're going through and the cavern is like... You know, it's probably only about ten feet above your head.

It's not vaulted. The tallest among you can't, like, touch the ceiling, but you can certainly see that it's not like. So flying is not an option. Flying is not an option. Broom of flying? Useless here, Della. Sorry. Leave your broom at home.

I feel like we would have left it with Lork in case he had to get away quickly. And Baron's carrying the horn on his back now. I'm glad that he knows he's jogger-fear. At least 2,500 pounds worth of gear. Last time I checked. Slow and steady. It's the best dwarven trade ever. You can carry more than you're supposed to.

Did your stealth check factor in that seven-foot horn? That's on your back. Bling, bling, bling, bling. It's just my saxophone. I've brought my alto sax with me. I hope that's okay. You guys know how to play Louie Louie? Okay, good. And a one, and a two, and a...

You guys go 100 feet in. Just like very slowly. 200 feet. 300 feet. Just going through this mountain. You know, anyone with the survival skill knows how far you were, has a good sense of at least how far you were when you came into this valley. And it's miles and miles away. So if you're going back to some semblance of the beginning of the valley,

you know that you're going to have to travel miles through this. 500 feet, 600, 700, 800. You probably go 1,300 feet before you see. And by see, it's not like, ah, light up ahead, you see. In the same monochromatic vision, the tunnel opened up. It continues going straight forward. It continues going straight forward. There's a very, very thin tunnel to the south and a normal-sized tunnel to the north.

The path that you're on, though, continues forward. What do you do? What do you do? Let's Let's take this narrow passage I've got a good feeling about it Wow Baron is going to put his hand

On The narrow passage And Tremor sends out Baron Puts his hand on the narrow passage just feeling and you feel nothing to the south.

You feel no movement whatsoever. And the others? You put your hand to the north. How far does Tremorsense go? 30 feet. Nothing. You put it on the middle path, the path going straight

ahead. And you feel a little something. A little something. No. Let something up there. No. Let's kill it. Is it a shadow rat?

We've got to use our subterfuge to take out or otherwise neutralize what I feel. Nestor, get old Jelter ready. I'll pull it out quick drill Della get ready to keen everything everything everything you got your keychain

whatever keen that sharp tug of yours sir will don't unleash Rose Light until it's clear what we're facing. Lexington, here's a treat. And...

I'm low. I'm low. I'm low. I'm low. Set up brace because Grant forgot to last episode. And then Baron has Dragon's Breath ready. forgot to last episode. And then Baron has

Dragon's Breath ready. The most subterfuge-y weapon we have. Actually, let me revive that. Nope. You have Dragon's Breath. And Baron pulls out and loads the Giant's Bane crossbow. Oh!

And loads prior to going down. Just holding. Click, click. And do you walk forward? Yeah. I walk forward with Nestor immediately behind with his greater range. Right. You guys start walking.

And Della. Into the middle passage, continuing on where you've been going for 1,300, 1,400 feet. But Baron sends a little bit of movement, a little tremor. And feeling more every step he takes. Right, feeling, you feel more. Extending. And more. Nestor and Baron roll a stealth check.

31. 18. So you're walking up, and you're walking up, and you can see up ahead that the cavern is starting to open up. And Nestor, in typical Nestor form, just cat-like grace. You can't even hear his feet moving the silt and the rocks around. And the only reason you hear Baron's movement is because Nestor's so

good. But Baron, you might have kicked a rock. You might have done a little bit too much as you switched from dragon's breath to your regular, to the crossbow. Hold on, I want to use my double buried note. And then you switched

to another gun. You made a little too much noise As you were switching through range weapons More range weapons than you could ever use And the last thing you see Is a giant stone Come flying In your head With giant runes on it

And it's just about to hit you We'll see you next week We sure will in your head. What? With giant runes on it. What? Uh-oh. And it's just about to hit you. We'll see you next week? We sure will. Oh! I nailed it! I saw that coming, too. I wanted to play more. Oh, my God.

We started too late. Outro Music