The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 108 - You All Meet in a Cavern

Episode Date: June 20, 2017

Upon entering the mysterious Dark Passage, the party is promptly greeted by a rock to Barron's face just as all hell breaks loose! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. After entering a dark and mysterious passage. What do we see? Do we see anything? Well, it's you, Della. What do you think you see? The heroes trigger a deadly trap. All of a sudden.

Oh, no. No, no, no, no. I hate it when he says that. I hate it when he says that. No. And each decision they make. No, Matthew, no. No! Matthew, no! No! Do it! that I hate it when it says that. And each decision they make will determine if they leave

with their lives. No way! No! No, I will not! No, I will not! I refuse. The adventure continues now. What's up, everybody? I'm Troy LaVallee, and I hope you are ready for another thrilling episode of the GCP. That's the Glass Cannon Podcast, if you're following along at home, which you obviously are.

Kind of an exciting week for us last week, you could say. Paizo, of course, made the official announcement that we have partnered with them to continue to bring the best game in the world to the masses as the first officially licensed Pathfinder podcast of Paizo Incorporated. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty sweet, to say the least. You know, Joe spoke at length about this when we spilled the beans in his intro after I got back from PaizoCon. I just want to reiterate the obvious and say that this is an incredibly exciting time for us. Being able to work with the wonderful people at Paizo and gain access,

not only to their entire library, but also their already established fan base. To have them on our side, championing our show, I don't have to tell you, is huge for us. This also means that now the real work begins, and I hope you know that we take this responsibility very, very, very seriously. I mean, Matthew does it, but the rest of us sure do. We are creeping up on the $10,000 goal on Patreon to launch a second actual play podcast. And I'll be honest, the way things are looking, I'm probably only a few weeks out from starting legit pre-production on it. It takes a lot of time to do these things

the way that I like them to be done. And I'm confident we're gonna hit that goal sooner rather than later. And I'll tell you, podcast number two is just the tip of the iceberg. We wanna build a network of podcasts, one for every day of the week, while at the same time expanding into other media.

I've talked about this before. Video, more live events, TV. How crazy would that be? Can you imagine? Well, that's where I see this going. That's where I want this to go. The whole world of gaming entertainment is really the Wild West right now.

And we're Buffalo Bill. That's why we need this movement to continue to grow. Together, all of you and the five of us are going to be able to do some really cool shit together. And I can't stress this enough. I want you all to feel like you're a part of this. I mean, next month, we have what, like five different GCP sanctioned fan meetups happening in Portland, Kentucky, Massachusetts, North Carolina, then Hawaii, for crying out loud. We're going to be sending swag out for these events. We're going to autograph some stuff.

And frankly, our plan is to sanction more of these types of events as often as possible, working directly with the organizers all over the world until Glass CanCon becomes a reality. Then a month from now, we've got GenCon, and we're going to be out in Indianapolis every single day hanging out with you guys, gaming with you guys, meeting and greeting and hugging and kissing. Then we got PAX Unplugged in Philly in November, GCP Retreat number two after that, and I feel like we're just getting warmed up. This is what I'm talking about when I say a movement. So keep telling your friends to

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Those of you who are gaming now, either for the first time or again after a long break, because of this show, I know what you're feeling. I know that joy. I felt it when I was 13 years old in the middle of the summer and going to hang out at my buddy's house so we could play eight-hour sessions all day long, and I feel it every single week when I sit down to record the GCP. Everyone should have that feeling, and making sure that happens is very, very important to us.

Look around, everyone. The population of True Now is growing. Please welcome all of our new listeners with open arms as they join the forums and social media, and let's blow this shit up together. In the meantime, here's episode 108, You All Meet in a Cavern. Well, here we are. Episode 108. Everybody sitting at home is like, well, at least Troy has his trusty neon green D20 back. Nope. It's lost. Nope, nope. These...

The king is dead. I'll call them friends, because I don't have a better word for them. All claim to have not taken it. And I'm at the point now where I actually believe them, because it's been a week and I have searched my apartment far and wide. It wouldn't be

funny anymore. Yeah, now it's no longer funny. Now it would just be, if one of us did have it, it would just be mean and, I mean, you know, that doesn't mean that we didn't do it, but we didn't do it. I threatened not to record last week if someone didn't put it out there, but then I was like, you know what, no, maybe this will be fun for the show.

This will be fun. Then somebody will hand it back to me at the end of the episode. Well, I'll have a good laugh about it. That's not going to happen. And it didn't happen. And now I'm just angry. It's lost. It's really lost.

Like I said, the king is dead. Leon Green is lost. I am going to tear this apartment down until I find this. And I need to check. I checked the litter box all week. And I need to check. I checked the litter box all week. I was going to say, I think it's your cats. I just don't understand.

I had it right here. This is my fault. It's my fault, I guess. I should have put it in my pocket, but now I've got to go with a new die. I mean, I feel like somebody killed Matthew. That's what I feel like. I feel like Matthew is dead. Matthew

is dead and we replaced him with an aquamarine Matthew. It's in this moment. Troy, it's much more serious than that. You're right. You're right. The D20 was always a more popular character. Oh, Matthew.

I'm just gonna go. If you're a new listener to this show First of all Stop it Go back to episode one What are you doing? Just listening to That's like tuning in to season seven

Of a show that's been on for six Why would you do that? Go back to episode one Grey's Anatomy Is Grey's Anatomy still going? I don't know People start General Hospital from episode one But this is not General Hospital from episode one, right?

But this is not General Hospital. This is a serialized show. It's like somebody saying, Hey, you should watch Breaking Bad. Cool, I'll watch season five, episode three. I'll start there, right? That's where I should start. I'm sure I'll be able to understand all of the through lines

by watching season five, episode three. It's good. I thought you were saying, This isn't General Hospital. This is a serious show. This is so serious. We will never have James Franco on the show. Here we are.

Back at, what show are we doing? Oh, Giant Slayer. This is the Giant Slayer Adventure Path, and we are on episode 108. Oh, lost. The Ocho. Yep, the Ocho. Welcome to episode 108 oh lost the ocho yep the ocho welcome to episode 108 the ocho last episode after a lot of chicanery you guys uh used your flying broom to bring down lork razzmatazz pembroke a little stronger Pembroke he's getting there he's recovering Aram and Ymir

and you bring them down to the tent where you defeated the Oculus that brutal two-parter and the rest of you there Delos, Sir Will, Umlo, Nestor, Baron and you guys decide we're going to rest here and then we're going to take that spike

and hide them on the lee side of the wall here behind the cathedral's walls and just make it look like a rock outcropping. And then we're going to go to the dark passage. Sir Will, buck naked. He was wearing a belt. He was wearing a belt. It did not cover his manhood. He is not a belt. He was wearing a belt. It did not cover his manhood. He is not buck naked. I think it's canon.

Now, let me ask you this, Sir Will. I'm going to not leave it up to you, Sir Will. I'm actually going to leave it up to the group. We move so quickly along in the story. He was naked when he left. You guys then moved. Don't shake your head, Joe, you moved 1,300 feet through this cavern.

At any point did Sir Will put his armor back on, or at the start of this combat, is he still completely naked, except for a belt? I'll start with you, Matthew, since you're the most sympathetic. Completely naked, with just a belt on, or did he armor back up

in that 1,300 feet? You know, I think we really have to be tolerant of each other's kinks, and if that's what he wants to do, if he wants to honor the classical inheritance of fighting naked, then that's what he has to do. Joe, that was your only chance with Matthew. Matthew, you are such a jerk. Grant, what do you think? Naked or armored up? I just need to know how someone without dark vision could possibly don complicated armor in the dark. It's impossible.

A fair point. Impossible. You never don your own heavy armor. Someone always puts it on for you. What, Lexington the Magical Wolf puts it on for you? So I'm going to put you down for naked, Baron. Are you forgetting that we're all friends here? I have friends to put on my armor.

Umlo's not going to help you. We're friends like you. Who's these friends? Yeah, you're wearing Umlo's belt. Skid, we haven't taken Umlo's vote. Skid, are we going to put it my armor. Umlo's not going to help you. We're friends like you. Who's these friends? You're wearing Umlo's belt. Skid, we haven't taken Umlo's vote. Skid, are we going to put it to an Umlo vote, or do you think he should be naked? I think it's way more interesting if he's naked. Sorry, Joe.

He got the belt. The people have spoken. He got the belt. I was never naked. Well, you were wearing a belt. Yeah. According to the story in my mind that I visualized and fantasized about all week, you have been naked with a belt.

He looks like the ultimate warrior when he was the champion. By the way, if you subscribe to our Patreon, that's going to be the exclusive artwork next week. You ever heard of Big Willie style? This is Little Willie style. Oh, man. All right. So you finally make it down to the end of this corridor, and you see that it opens up.

You had three options. You could have gone south, could have gone north, you could have continued the way that you were going. The south passage was really thin. Barren. Boom. Tremor sense. What was it, like a hand of something you got? A hand of stone.

A hand of stone allows you to sense. It's a necklace, right? Mm-hmm. Tremor sense. About 30 feet away. Not a lot. You know, if you travel 1,300 feet, you're going to imagine these caverns going forever. Didn't sense anything there.

Didn't sense anything to the north. Straight away, you got a little something. You walk down there, and then all of a sudden, a stone comes flying at your head. And the last thing you notice before it potentially hits you is that it has like giant runes on it. It's like a big old chess piece. But when I say big old chess piece, I mean like three foot tall chess piece. Three foot tall chess piece come flying at you

and maybe hits you. Let's find out. My wife and I once played chess with those giant chess pieces. They have it like resorts. Like at a resort in Mexico? Yeah. And she may or may not have thrown one of those at me pieces they have at resorts. Like at a resort in Mexico? Yeah.

And she may or may not have thrown one of those at me, so I know the feeling. Did you pass your reflex save? I make it a point never to pass my reflex save when my wife wants to hurt me. You definitely failed your diplomacy check. Oh. That came out wrong. It came out very, very very wrong My wife hits me I let her

This is a whole new show Well I think it's fair That we should all Just take our D20s And roll for initiative Yeah Yeah

Hey Sir Will Is your initiative bonus higher? Roll for initiative! Because you're not wearing armor. Oh, man. I'll tell you guys. It's just absurd.

He wouldn't be riding around naked. There's a lot going on. Yeah. Before this rock possibly hits Baron's flat footed AC, Baron, what's your initiative? My initiative is a lowly 17. Oh, not too shabs. Sir Will.

15 for Sir Willamette. Not too shabby. Della. He's much more sprightly without his armor on. 18 for Della. Oh, Della in the pole position. Nestor. I'll be 15 also for me.

Who's got the higher niche? Will or Nest? I believe it's me. I believe it's Nestor as well. And Umlo, Joe, you're still on ums this week. No, he's not. Oh, I just assumed we didn't have combat last week. Alright, so Matthew, you're Omlo. What did he roll? Twelve. Twelve.

What is Omlo's initial mod? It's a plus two. Alright. Alright. Alright. One day I'm going to learn how to do the Scottish accent and this voice. That would be amazing.

At PaizoCon, everyone said Yoram Lo is their favorite. I'll be in later. All right. Your checks are in the mail. A rock comes flying at Baron. You know what? I don't need my neon green D20. Natural fucking 20.

Get out of here! Are you serious? Hey, does that hit your flat foot in AC, Baron? Ask it for a friend! Critical, critical, critical! Critical friend! It actually depends on the modifier, because if it's a plus zero modifier, no. Look at that. How beautiful is that? It looks pretty good.

Oh, you know what? We got a new character in the show. Oh, come on, man. She's called Aquamarine. See? To confirm, I should point out, a named character through this at Baron. Joe, you might want to cue up the old fan crit. To confirm, cracked die. It was cracked on a 22.

Bologna. Not confirmed. Yeah. Come on. Boo. Wait. Would you land a hit? Uh, not confirmed. Yeah! Come on! Boo! Wait. Would you land a hit? Can you hit the can't touch this?

Oh, wait, he did touch this. All right, this is going to be exploding dice optional here. If it explodes, I'm using my big heavy D8 here that Joe gave me. Oh, wow. For standing at his wedding. Oh! Exploding dice! Exploding D8!

We get an exploding D8. Grant looks very upset, as well he should be. Exploding D8. Oh, it fell off the table. The cat ate it! Oh, God, this could be bad. Oh, man. Okay, so I have five. So 13, and do I add the bonus twice? So, a five. So, 13.

And do I add the bonus twice? No, just once. No, no, no. Just once. I was just going to say, 25 points. Wow. You have a plus 12? Plus 12.

Oh, my God! So, just Maria. Can we just take a quick step back to last episode when I was mocked for taking a couple hits off the healing wand that had 22 left on it? You're such a loser. Big baby. At least I have my armor on, sir. Ladies and gentlemen, what's better than exploding die?

Round one, perhaps. What do we see? Do we see anything? Well, it's you, Della. What do you think you see? I don't know, perhaps. What do we see? Do we see anything? Well, it's you, Della. What do you think you see? I don't know, GM. What do I think I see? Roll a perception check.

90, 19, so that's 30. 30! All right, Della. You win this round. This round. You can see up ahead in your black and white vision the roof of this cavern

is like sloping up. It's a wide cavern. You've been going down like a seven to ten foot wide passageway and it opens up, very wide cavern and the roof is sloping steeply upward forming like a naturally vaulted ceiling. What you can see for sure are

two natural stone columns rising from the floor and behind them a pool of what looks like stagnant brown water. In the northeast corner of the cavern, this is something that like Baron

and Nestor would start to see, but Della, with your, what'd you roll? 34, 33? 30. You would see this like a collection of roughly chiseled stones, each about three feet tall, carved with runes, one of which just hit Baron

like square on the penis. Oh, yee. Oh, man. You also see... It's a beautiful penis. You also see stuff like hanging above the stones, but you're not in a position

to like really take this all in. And you rolled so well on that perception. I have to say that like behind one of the rocks, you see a large creature who chucked that and then hid behind the rock. Oh, wow. To what would be your left. Okay.

So between the column on the left and the stagnant brown pool, Della, what do you do? What do you do? Della is going to... Della! Della is standing right behind Nestor So she's going to touch him and vanish him And then whisper in his ear Call him to the left

Okay Nestor nods, but she can't see it Roll perception Roll perception I think he gets a plus 40 And then I will Stay where I am. All right, so you're not going to move into the room.

You're going to vanish him and stay. Now you're at least 5, 10, 15, 20 feet from getting into the room. You want to stay there. Asking for a friend. All right, fine. No, you don't have to go in. I just want to know. All right, so Della will move in and head to the left.

Della moves in, heads to the left. She kind of flanks left, leaving an opening for the rest of the party to the left. Della moves in, heads to the left. She kind of flanks left, leaving an opening for the rest of the party to come in. Baron, you just got rocked, buddy. Yep. Talk to me. Can Baron roll a perception as well

to see? No! Sure. That's a lowly 19. Lowly 19 With dark vision You know the direction that rock came from You think it was a large creature That ducked behind that rock Up ahead to your left

Baron's gonna stand diagonally To Della and he's gonna go Total Defense So Baron takes 10 feet. So Baron does a full move action and goes into total defense. All right. Next up, Nestor Coin.

Newly invisible Nestor Coin. Yes. And newly able to dark vision as well because I took the potion last time. You drank your juice. So I see on the map here that there's this dotted area. Those are all those stones. Oh, these are the stones. So you could walk through that.

Everything with a stone is difficult terrain because they're just all piled on top of each other. Okay, I'm going to move. I'm going to... Okay. One, two, three. That's 20 feet. All right. I'm going to move right past the stones to their left, and can I see anything?

All right. So Nestor moves the farthest into the room so far, and you see behind the rock. That looks like a big old thing. Boom. You see what looks like a cave giant From like Your knowledge so far Remembering back to when you guys had the

Fight with those giants Where Baron found out possibly his lineage At Foxborough Stadium But this one has like an elongated Head And grey rock like skin So it kind of looks like a cave giant, but Nestor, at first glance,

you also see maybe some stone giant ancestry in there as well, and you know that that's the direction where that rock hit your buddy Baron, and now you see it. And I think you got a clear shot on it. Yeah, you've got no cover. So can I do a quick knowledge local just to see if i know

what absolutely yeah uh 18 18 some sort of mongrel okay uh so i am going to as with a swift action study the target i've got my sneak attack uh because i vanished. I'm going to take my deadly aim. And I'm going to take a shot. I'll take my one shot. 26 to hit. Waiting for that sound. That is a hit. So Nestor gets up, sees it.

It thought it was being cool hiding behind that rock. And you, boom, hit it with the arrow. 28 points of fucking damage. Was that the multi-shot? No, no. That's just a regular shot. So we got a seven. Regular shot, mate. I rolled a seven

on the eight-sided die. I rolled 11 on the 3D6. Holy shit. Or a 4D6 with the electricity, so yeah. Nice job. So Nestor is the farthest

into the room and he lands a clutch arrow shot right into this cave, stony giant. What is going on? Let's find out. Naked Sir Will.

Sir Will, nude atop Lexington. Wearing a belt and a birthday suit. Save for a belt and his trusty shield, Sophia. It really is like Ghost of Goblin. Sir Will is going to draw rose light from his sheath, shining light within 30 feet around him. He will spur

Lexington on for Highbury! For Highbury! And charge into the room right next to Nesta. Right next to Nesta Coyne. And he's just going to go that one movement angle into the room right next to Nesta. Right next to Nester Coyne and he's just going to go that one movement angle into the room

and then he sees this giant kind of in the distance and immediately puts his shield up for total defense. Alright, so Sir Will charges in, stays right next to Nester and just phalanxes down.

All of a sudden. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. I hate it when he says that. I hate it when he says that. No. Please be something that can impregnate Skid's character. No, no.

When in doubt, impregnate one of Skid's characters. impregnate one of Skid's characters. Out from around the rock to your right comes this giant, frilled lizard. Oh, no. It's like something from Jurassic Park, a movie you've never seen. You've never seen it? Don't know if that's a real thing. And another one comes up.

Oh, no, there's two of them! From behind the cave giant. So two giant, frilled lizards come up. One attacks Nestor. One attacks naked Sir Will. What's the name of that shield? I hate this joke. Sophia.

Sophia? Awesome. All right. So they had to turn around a corner so they could not charge. The first one is attacking on the right. So the first one attacks Nestor with a bite. 26 to hit Nestor. That is a hit.

That is a hit. So this comes around. And it hits Nestor for, let's see, eight points of damage. Okay. And then the other one comes around, bites Sir Will, and misses Sir Will. Well, actually, you tell me. An 11? Yeah.

Yeah, he's on total defense. Just making sure. Watch that shield, baby. Why didn't the lizard move to sunder Sir Will's underpants? Because that's what I would have done. I will sunder your underpants. Sunderpants. All right.

And last, and last, and by all means least, Umlo. Umlo's going to double move into the room. Joe, I can also move the pawn if you want. Thanks. Just trying to help, man. And embrace the spear. Ah, so Umlo double moves into the room, embraces

the spear. And he's going to taunt the giant. You gonna hide there behind the rock? Or are you too afraid to look at me? And the giant can't see him low back there, but he can hear. Look at me, you coward. He can hear his voice. Love it.

And you're still wearing the armor, right? The giant snail scale. Oh, you got the giant snail scale back on? Oh, I forgot he took it off. Yeah, he's wearing that breastplate. But he's got the fist. The fist. He still wants him to look at me. Yeah. That would have been more effective

if I was wearing that armor. It is the giant's turn. You have to brace on a ready to attack action, by the way. Yeah, it's fine. You can't really brace, but no one was going to charge at you anyway. Yeah. We're all good.

All right. It is the giant's turn. This long roll cave giant stone giant situation. He's got his two pets, probably, these giant frilled lizards, up in the vanguard, dealing with Nestor and Sir Will. And all he does for the moment is take a step out of sight.

All of a sudden, Sir Will, Nestor, Della, the ground beneath you begins to give way. No way. No. Roll a

reflex. No I will not. No I will not. I refuse. No fucking way. You lunatic. Oh what a jerk. Oh my god. Wow. I rolled a natural

two. You're such a terrible person. D, my God. Wow. I rolled a natural two. Such a terrible person. Della, natural two. That's a ten. I'm going to call that a fail. Eighteen for next, though. Also a fail. Oh, no.

What? What do you got, Sir Wells? Well, here's the thing. Oh, boy. Oh, here we go. Naked but for a bout. He's on Lexington. Oh, boy.

Lexington rolled a 32. Oh, yeah, then he's fine. Sir Will rolled a 17. You do with that what you will. And he's on Lexington. He's on Lexington. All right. All right.

Well, this is a real pickle for everybody. Was that by any chance the spell? This is just metagaming. We don't need to know the characters. But was that expeditious excavation? No, because it's only a five-foot square. But it was? I'm sorry.

27, not 37. 27. All right. Well, because you're on Lexington, you use Lexington's reflex. I would think so. And Lexington. You use Lexington's reflex. I would think so. And Lexington hit it. But Nestor and Della fall into a 30-foot deep. Oh.

Holy shit. Wait for it. 30-foot deep spike pit. Of course. No. Of course. Fucking way. Finish him.

What about these other creatures? What about these other creatures? I didn't see them rolling. They know to stay away from those pits. Oh, curious. All right. They do live here. Let's just go.

I know the trail. Hop along. Let's just go. First of all, Nestor's falling damage. Nestor takes 14 points of falling damage. He takes zero points of falling damage. No, I take three points because of my Boots of the Cat.

I automatically treat any falling damage as if one is rolled on each die. I'm so glad we were introduced to that in episode 91. Nice job! Alright, so Nestor goes down 30 feet. Only takes three points of damage to start. Let's see if the spikes hit you.

But first of all, Della, you take ten points of falling damage. Della is going to feather fall. Ah, so Della... Della. Della, time to die. All right, so Della... So Della falls.

So Della's going to feather fall. Does that mean the spikes won't harm her? No, she wouldn't be forced onto them. Right, like the spikes. The spikes have an attack roll, right? Yeah, they have an attack roll. Yeah, that's why it's a little... But I think the attack roll is based on the assumption that the target is moving at the point.

I'll give you a second reflex save to avoid the spikes, and then I'll roll for Nestor's spikes. Natural 19 on the reflex save. Okay, so Della, you very gently land down between the spikes, and then the spikes attempt to hit Nestor 25 to hit Ness. All right, so Ness, you are able to—what is the thing that gives you the power? Boots of the cat. Boots of the cat to avoid what could be really bad falling damage. And instead, you take ten points as two spikes pierce into you.

And now both of you are thirty feet down and Sir Will is naked. Also, because I used an immediate action to cast that for this round, I can't use a swift action. So I can't keen or shock. Wow. Rules. Sir Will, you step to the left. So he jumps out of the way.

You step to the left. Lexington leapt out of the way. What a great goddamn animal. He has a plus 12 reflex. Hey, who needs armor and clothes when you have an animal? Exactly. Uh, alright, so that is what happened. Could have been

a lot worse. It's amazing. You think, like, falling damage, these guys are gonna get effed up. I'll make it fly and feather fall at this point, but you're 30 feet down. Let's find out what happens. In round two, ladies and gentlemen, Delanard.

Are we in the same hole? No, you are in two separate holes. Oh, okay. Oh, we are, yeah. Is it climbable? Sure is. What is it, quarter speed? Quarter speed.

Hiding 30 feet? What's your climb skill? I'm assuming plus... It's plus four. Not worth it. Del is going to cast Fly on herself. Della. What's your climb skill? I'm assuming plus... It's plus four. Not worth it. Della's going to cast Fly on herself. Della. What the fuck was that?

That was fun. A little siren scale. That was the peanut gallery laughing at her. So, yeah. So she'll fly. I mean, she's going to have to double move. Or she'll have to kind of like get up there. Is Fly a standard action?

The casting is a standard action. And then can you immediately move with Flight? Yes. That would be my move action. And then can you immediately move with flight? Yes. That would be my move action. So you just boom and fly out. Yes, that would be my move action. And I have a flight speed of 60 feet, so I should be able to get out and then keep going straight up. Yeah, I'll go

straight up into the air. So you kind of go up at an angle and float above this. It's like Luke falling in the pit. Yeah, immediately flies right out. All too easy. It's like Luke falling in the pit. Immediately, flies right out. This cavern is taller than the tunnel. Perhaps you are not as strong as the Emperor thought. This cavern is vaulted, yes.

However you are. Impressive. That's a good point from Grant, you losers. Sorry. This cavern is vaulted so she actually can fly. Going down the tunnel was only 10 feet high Good job Della Can I see more of this

Foul abomination now Yep Cool No follow up questions Whatsoever Alright You said all is step behind You see it all.

And you see two exits out, one to the south and one to the northwest. So you see two means of getting out of here, assuming all of you survive, which is a grand assumption. Baron, your friends are dying around you. So on the map, we see towards the rear of the cave, a putrid brown lake into where our giant foe is kind of hidden in between that and a rock. We see another rock, which we can't see over, but there's also this area that's dotted over here.

What is that area? The dotted area, if you listen when I talk, is a bunch of It's the third time. It's a bunch of stones with the runes, one of which hits you in the face. So what is this dotted area? Difficult terrain.

It is a chess match. Right. Okay, so one moment. Allow me to read. It is pubic hair. So Baron has to basically move 15 feet. Wait, say that again. Can Baron acrobatics jump over the cave to be kind of like here?

Jump over the cave? No, not the cave. I'm sorry. That would be miraculous. The pit. So jump over the pit to get to the left. Can you touch the floor without knocking over anything? I'm knocking over everything.

Every player. You're a bull in a china shop. What's your acrobatic score? What is my acrobatic score? What is my acrobatic score? It is a whopping 11. 11? 11, yeah. So that'll be an automatic jump for you, but then they're like, that's your movement.

Okay, that's my movement, and then my standard action will be, I'm still... I want to shoot at that first monster. So at the giant frilled lizard that I am using. That is a cross from Sir Will. Don't roll an Addy one. No, roll an Addy one. Or two. Don't, I said.

Troy said don't. Whatever a misfire is, can you roll that? Oh, and I'm... Well, so... Here we go. I would like to drop my plus one giant bayonet heavy crossbow. That was loaded. In the pit.

Right. No, not in the pit. In the magical pit that we're obviously close. You got to roll a d6. It might end up in the pit. Three, four, five. It's in the pit. Jesus.

Troy, have you been doing poppers all night? What's going on here? You've been hanging out in the wrong area of town. And I'd like to quick draw my double-barreled pistol. Okay. There's a free action with my new quick draw feat. All right, all right. So I'm going to shoot at him with that.

That's fair enough. That all sounds to add up. That is an 18 against Touch AC. 18 against Touch AC is a hit! All right! Against the giant frilled lizard on the left. We'll call him something fun. One. Something real creative.

That is 15 points of damage. Wow. Shots have been fired. Nestor coin, you are 30 feet deep. A couple spikes hit you, but you were able to float down and avoid that massive falling damage.

Yeah, but I got ripped open by the spikes. Like, Enos Slaughter came after my legs on a second base slide. Exactly like that. I'm going to fuck! Oh, god! And I start climbing as fast as I can up the rear

wall of the pit. To get to, like, this safe area back here. Yeah, to get behind where it opened up and what's good about that is if you were able to get up there next round or whatever they can't really get at you without moving through the difficult terrain of the rocks yeah yeah and the pit between us right me and them um so is that is there dc on the climb check uh yeah there there are handholds there so it's just uh you, you just imagine that, what's your climb? Eight.

Eight, yeah, so you just move at quarter speed. Okay, alright. So I double move, I get halfway up. Okay, so Nestor just gets halfway up, but he's hanging there. Hopefully no one will attack him while he's hanging. Sir Will, still naked if you're following along at home. Sir Will, still naked, is going to try to just connect a little bit more with this nakedness, this earthiness, you might say. This raw power of the naked halfling.

he is going to quick dismount Lexington and initiate the belt to become a large earth element. So not unlike Ruddig Headstomper, he just activates the belt as a standard action. Swamp, swamp, swamp, swamp, swamp! Could I say that one could say that Sir Will just soiled himself? One could. Change those underpants. One could say that Sir Will just soiled himself. One could. Chainsnose underpants. One could.

So you... How's the human eye like you now? This little naked halfling just turned into a large earth elemental. That is correct. Or he is in the process of turning into it. Yes. Wow. It's lizard time.

You know your new AC there, buddy? Because you're about to get shmacked! Oh, and you're taking up a large amount of space now, so get him a new base. Yeah, I'll get a new creature, yeah. Alright, so what we're going to do is the, what I like to call the old switcheroo. So one lizard is

going to move towards Sir Will, while the other one Oh, you're flying, Della Della's flying I see That was why I put a little D6 underneath And Nestor's climbing up Sir Will, you're going to die

They're both going to attack Sir Will Okay, so I think they can both do full attacks on Sir Will So, Joe, just let me know when you go unconscious. This is why it's so pointless to ever try anything. Never ever have any fun. Fight number 120. Miss. Clang off the stone.

All right there, Joseph O'Brien. All right there, Joseph. Here comes a tail slap in your face. 22. God damn face. 22. God damn it. You know what? You should not fret. That was actually very hard for me to hit you.

And I hit you with a five points of damage. Five points of damage. The other one attempts to do the same thing. First comes the bite. 20. Miss. 20. Miss. Again. Off the stone of Sir Will's elemental skin.

There must have been some rocks in there. And then it just swoops around with the tail. Almost a natty one. Instead, it was a natty two. That's a miss, Troy. You lucky. That is a miss. By Pathfinder rules.

You lucky nude earth halfling. Umlo. Umlo. Umlo is going to double move, and because he's a barbarian, he actually has a movement speed of 30, my friend. Jump in the pit. He's going to go around the column and start to come up and flank the giant. Oh, nice. Um's is going to ums. All those diagonal squares, though, I don't know.

Joe's just counting for me, but he'll get around there. Yeah, he inches his way around. 100% he's around there. All right, so Umlo gets like... With room to spare. I don't know if you even want to go all that far, but whatever. Umlo... Grant feels dubious about my ability to count squares, though, so...

No, diagonal squares, the second one is 10 feet. But it's 60 feet. He has 60 feet of movement, so he definitely has it. You know what? I support it, because it's the cave giant's turn. And he's going to kill him. Actually, first, Umlo has to roll a save. Oh, yeah.

Now he's finally seeing the giant. Will Umlo be compelled to just fight to the death? Will he be compelled to fight when he's unconscious? Next round. That is true. Let's find out. Fail. So Umlo must fight this giant. And here's the thing. There's find out. Fail. So we must fight

this giant. And here's the thing, there's no one to talk him off the ledge, is it worth it? Yeah, we're going to be like, Umlo's far away from this. Umlo, we got this. Umlo is on the other side of the larger column in this room. Five feet away from this giant, who by the way, can take a five foot step

and provoke an attack of opportunity. Not with a five-foot step. But instead, he will do a full... Well, we're getting a closer look at this guy. He's a cave giant? He looks like part cave giant with some

stone giant ancestry. That's what I said to Skid when Nestor first got into the room, but you see it now. The head is a little bit long. You know how stone giants have those sort of rectangular heads? He's got that kind of head. But he's got those long tusks like Baron would recognize from the cave giant you guys fought at the Hope Spring. This is a more mongrel version of that.

Umlo was going to do when he failed his save, he was going to do one thing before the giant took his turn. Before I kill him. With my times three crit. Great action. He's going to rage. Yeah. No. Matthew, no. No! Matthew, no! Do it! Skid, he

knows not what he does. He knows what he does. If you're just tuning in for the first time, this is the last episode with Umlo. Oh, Matthew. Umlo can't control himself right now. He can't control himself. He can't control himself. I appreciate it.

I appreciate it. You know, I think it should be like a house rule that if Umlo does fail that save, he should automatically go into a rage. That is fucking cool. I think that's true. I like it. It only makes sense if he has hatred and he hates i think that's true i like it right it only makes sense

if he hates he has hatred and he hates giants and he's compelled to attack it yeah it's dead i mean of course what else would he do there's something cool about that like we've been talking about the hand is starting to go get into his mind he's just like ah he must kill it and the coolest part about it is that we won't have to remember it past this session yeah because he'll be attack number one we won't have to remember it past this session. Because it'll be done. Attack number one. With a great axe!

Don't you crit. Don't you crit, LaValley. With a battle axe. You know what? I think I'll roll in front of us. Let's roll in the table. Guys, we're all friends. A gentleman's behind. A gentleman's roll.

In front of the screen. Ooh, 24 to hit on the first attack. Hit. Remember, this is against a giant, so you get a bonus to your ace sizzle. Oh, it's still a hit. Yeah, it's still a hit. Still a hit. So the first attack. Troy, did you get a bonus to your ace sizzle. It's still a hit. Still a hit. So the first attack.

Troy, did you steal my neon green? No. Not a lot. 15 points of damage. Oh, you're fine. Do you want to use this for your second attack, buddy? I want my fucking green. Do you want to try this one, though?

It's green. Second attack. That's another hit. Another hit. Oh, boy. Not a crit, though. Not a crit, though. Not a crit. This one is going to be a little more damage.

I think it's going to be 16 points of damage. So just boom, boom with the great axe. How's Amlo feeling? I mean, he took some hits. You were there. You want to just have him take a nap, call it a day. Call it a day. Go back to opening a kitchen in Yanderhoff.

Can I say with this new setup, Troy is squatting so much more than he used to. Just really getting in there. I feel like a Little League coach. Yeah, exactly. Matthew, I believe in you. Go out there and get a hit for the team. Round three, it is Della's turn. Flying Della.

Flying Della the Narn. Flying Della the Narn. Flying Della the Narn. She's related to the Noid, the former Pizza Hut mascot. Avoid the Noid, Della. Avoid the Noid. Della is going to cast True Strike on herself. Oh, good. And keep flying around.

Good, good, good. So just plus 20 to your next attack roll. Yep. And she's going to kind of fly around and back to get into attack position. So she's just swooping around. Yeah. Are you going to keen it, swift it, shock it? Keen it and shock it.

Pop it. Twist it. Keen it. Shock it. Pop it. Pull it. Okay. So Della will be very dangerous in round four.

Meanwhile, back at the Baron. Baron's going to take a five-foot step, and he is going to initiate dangerous in round four. Meanwhile, back at the Baron. Baron's going to take a five-foot step, and he is going to initiate a full round attack action against the frilled lizard. All right. He's going to get a plus four to his AC because you're shooting through an earth element. Oh.

Don't roll a natural one. Oh. Against touch. Baron. Oh, it's okay. That hits. 90-19. Baron. Oh, it's okay. That hits. 90-19. Wow.

Guy's so good. 25 points of damage. Skinny's so good at rolling dice. Holy shit. Second attack. He's going to take this thing out right now. 21 against Touch AC. 21 against Touch.

That's it. Oh, man. Wow. 15 points of damage. Every character I make from now on is a gunslinger. I won't allow it. Last attack is going to be up close and deadly. That is a 17 against such a suit.

That's a hit. Oh, boy. Here we go. Oh. No, no, never mind. Sorry. I got excited about the natural six. 22 points of damage. So Baron

hiding behind the Earth Elementals just like sticking his gun between some mud and some rock. Boom, boom, boom! All three hits land and you kill the first giant. You're damn right he does. That's why I say, hey man, nice shot. Boom! What a good shot,

man. Boom, boom, boom! Echoing throughout the caverns and it is Nestor's turn. Baron did a ton of damage, Nestor. He's still cursing under his spice. Fuck. And he just spends the rest of his movement, double moves, quarter speed, and is able to get out of the pit, and that's it. All right, so Nestor takes his turn, climbs out. Good man, good man.

And now he is in a very safe position, at least against melee attacks. And now he's mad. And he's mad. You don't want to see a mad Nester. Elemental. Earth Elemental Sir Will. Earth Elemental Sir Will. He will slide five feet closer to the giant, which he wants to take out later.

Let's talk about this. This belt functions as Elemental Body 3. So basically, yeah, he takes on the features of a larger Earth Elemental. He's not using his weapons. He's not using Rose Light. He's just going to be slamming this creature from 10 feet away with the reach that he has. So when you turn into this, your weapons and stuff just get enveloped in you? It's been too long.

Just get to explain this to us. I don't know. Just because my name's in the song doesn't mean that I have to do it every time. Now, Elemental Body 3 allows you to inhabit the body of a large elemental. It could be earth, it could be fire, it could be air, it could be water. And you get different abilities for different ones. With an earth elemental of this size, at the very least, among the other things that I get, including burrowing, like digging into the earth and traveling underground.

You can just become earth. Yeah. It moves. Yeah. I can also slam creatures with a reach of 10 feet with just my fists. Right. So this strange rock creature with the likeness of Sir Will brings a fist to bear on this creature that's ten feet away from him and has a really good chance to hit. This artwork's coming.

This is a powerful creature. So he swings down. Boom. 33 to hit. Yep. Hits. And does 12 points of damage. Yep. Hit. And does, boom, 12 points of damage. Nice.

Wow, so you just slam. That was a five-foot step. Do you get a second attack? Yeah. Of course. Yeah, dude. Of course I do. Calm down.

Second attack, 25 to hit. Another hit. Ah, Sir Winnemith. Just with mud and rock and earth. Another 12 points of damage. Wow. 24 points of damage total. Oh, I love it!

Who needs armor when you can turn into earth? All right, lizard one, she's a gone. Lizard two is sitting there solo. Just got hit by an earth elemental twice. And I can't charge because I'm less than ten feet away. Because it can do something so cool on a charge. Della, you're flying. Nestor is protected by that pit.

Cannot charge through the difficult terrain. So the best it can do is just a full attack on a big little willy style here. As an earth elemental. So it will step up and do bite, tail slap. Oh, wait. I lost my other G20. Now I got nothing. You thieves.

The fans are very upset. Nothing. Nothing. All right. Honestly, I'm very upset. No, you're not. You have to die, you asshole. Here comes the bite.

18. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled, Skip. I know. Exactly. Did you say 18? 18 to hit. Please get out of here. Keep mocking me, O'Brien. Here comes the tail slap. 94. No, tail slap. 17. Damn it.

Dude, you need a neon green. Yeah. Yeah, I do. I sure do. All right. Umlo's turn. I'm going to kill one of you. Umlo's going to take a five-foot step back and attack a full round attack action with heart spit, raging against giants. Now, correct me if I'm wrong. He is not. This giant has not been hit yet.

Let me check. No, I shot it. I shot it. But that's only. Oh, that's right. Nestor got a really good hit on it. Yeah. All right, so you are raging.

You get all your giant bonuses. And power attack. Oh, yeah. Remember to add plus two to hit? Yep. Plus two to hit. That's what Bane does. So that's 18 to hit. Get out of here with that garbage. Natty, six.

Come on, you can do it. Make it work. Matthew, you stink. Oh, my God. That attack. Make it work. Oh, no. Matthew, you stink. Oh, my God. Well, that was the end of Umlo. Oh, now it's Hoorog's turn. Hoorog! Hoorog!

By the way, that's his actual pawn. If you look very closely, it says Hoorog. Oh, yeah. Five foot step, and he will do a full. He don't know what he's been told but umlo dwarfs are mighty dead and cold dead and cold joe do me a solid just hand me my uh d20 you guys are assholes wait is that it really no that's not it i don't even want to touch your die it was a daddy 20 i need to i need to wash my hands. It wasn't really. Alright, here comes Great Axe Swing.

Now, wait, let me just take a second here. I'm so excited about just attacking. Let me just look at this guy's powers. Oh, yeah, sure, he's got some of that. Yeah. Oh, maybe a little Vital Strike? That'd be...

Vital Strike gets a little dicey. Maybe I could Sunder Heart Spit. Oh. Oh, that might be interesting just to destroy, straight up destroy Heart Spit. I kind of like Vital Strike, but you know what? But he didn't move. Why would he use Vital Strike?

Let me ask you this. Did Omlo, Omlo didn't hit with Heart Spit, right? Yeah, so if he hit with Heart Spit, I can see him being like, that weapon's magical, let me get it. Instead, he's like, fuck this dwarf. Vital strike. Plus 14 to hit, I'll roll in front of you guys, because I don't care about this guy. Vital strike.

Oh! Daddy 2! Did the math work out for the analytics man? Give me a job for the Golden State Warriors. 16 to hit. Miss. Misses. So Hurag gives a little opening here for Team

True Now to mount an attack. Round four. Della, what do you got? I'm almost doing alright but he's in a bad place. Della is going to swoop around and fly straight down at him, and with true strike,

she's going to attempt to disarm Hoorag. It will provoke an attack of opportunity from Hoorag! Do it. And I lost my d20, so I'm going to use a d20 that I got from the boys at Sirenscape at PaizoCon. Oh, nice!

Ben Loomis? Yes. Oh, wait, there's my other... I'm going to use this from... Yeah, Ben Loomis and his buddies gave me this to hit on the... Oh! I'm going to throw this in the trash. That roll was down under. It was down

under a ten. Down under roll. In Australia, it was a fourteen, to be fair. Yeah, right. It's upside down and backwards. Okay. So you're going to swoop in. You get a plus one to attack because. Yeah, right. Upside down. It's upside down and backwards. Okay. So you're going to swoop in. You get a plus one to attack because you're on higher ground because you're flying in. Plus 20 for the true strike. Minus four.

It's a guaranteed. Roll a one. Roll a one. Roll a one. So it's plus 17 plus my bonus, right? One. Like my normal attack. It's just a guaranteed disarm. Just a roll a one.

Natural 16. It's a disarm. So Delicum's swooping in with the flaming, shocking scimitar. She's like, bam! Disarms Heraclius Greataxe. Oh, my God! What's the point in trying? That's awesome.

The Greataxe goes into the water. Oh, my. Into the water! Oh, my God! Della! High five. Della! Good job.

That's such a baller move. Just fly down, just knock the axe right out of his hand. What a great true strike usage. Baron, I mean, very, very cool. If I didn't give you a bottle cap for something you didn't deserve a few episodes ago, I'd give you one right now. Thanks. Let's call it even, Matthew.

Baron, you're up. Baron will five foot step in. Sure he will. Full round attack action this lizard. Okay. Like the partial cover even matters. That is a misfire. Oh!

No! All right, is that a one? Like fumble or no? No, just straight up misfire. All right, so you just... Gun explodes, you lose your hand. Just walk me through this. Do you lose one hand or both hands? Yeah. Just walk me through this. Do you lose one hand or both hands?

Just walk us through it. Were you holding it with both hands when it exploded? No. Is he brown? Is he clean? Mikey, is he brown? This is an interesting question. If I already declared a full round attack action, there's nothing else I can do besides stop attacking.

I would love to use a deed to do a quick there's nothing else I can do besides stop attacking. Like, I would love to use a deed to do a quick clear, but I'm just going to stop attacking. Yeah, you can't do it. Let's just say... I would spend the rest of this round being like, shit! Let's just say your gun explodes. No. That's fair, right? I think that's fair.

All right, so his gun explodes. So you can't use the gun ever again, right? Which gun is this, by the way? Drag his breath? The artifact from your family you never knew? It's gone. Nestor, you're out of the pit. Okay, now I'm out of the pit. Grant is so angry.

Ten feet away. I just can't deal with Troy right now. It's insane. You're ten feet away from the lizard that's taking a little bit of damage but still kicking. I'm going to do my... Jump into the pit? No, I've had my fill of that.

I'm going to do many shot, first attack. That's a hit. It's very presumptuous on your part. Hold on. Carry the one, carry the one. That's 40 points of damage. Oh, dear sweet Jesus It's dead

Yes Okay goodnight He kills it in one shot Good night Good night And you Right now You don't have an angle

On the other one But you one shotted The lizard Who hit that lizard Last round The earth elemental Sir Willamette Alright

Of Highbury He's No not quite It's almost like You guys are getting Better at teamwork. Yep. Sir Will, you're up.

As the Earth Elemental. Mind you, you can only do this once per day. He will charge around. Well, not charge, literally. But walk around the corner and slam this weaponless giant. Are you within reach? Yeah, maybe. Because Del is flying.

Right, okay. And you've got a ten-foot reach now. Exactly. within reach? Yeah, maybe. Because Del is flying. Right, okay. And you've got a 10-foot reach now. Exactly. Okay. Swiping at him. One good old-fashioned sweep. 28 to hit. Yeah, there you go.

Okay, I'll tell you what. High AC, that is a hit. All right, thanks for wasting our time. Well, I didn't want you to get really angry when you're like, 25! Quick damage. 10 points of damage. All right.

From Sir Willamette That was it I'm gonna kill one of you before this episode ends I don't know how You could have done it if you had your vital strength Just FYI Sir Willamette adds the earth element with very deep voices Yield Oh

Amlo, what do you have to add to that? Yield Umlo adds Die Oh yeah Yeah he does He failed his save Failed his save

Two attacks And now he's flanking And Umlo is broke Oh yeah That's right Oh no Sneak attack Full rage

Flanking Sneak Come on, Um I mean, I'm pulling for Um's now Because he's got nothing going on. First attack. Power attack. No! That's a 22 miss, right?

22 total? Do all your math. And you added the plus two for giant's fame? 24. Matthew, come on! That's why I asked, what is the complete total? 24. That's a hit. Yes! And he's a giant.

Holy shit. 5d6 plus 13. That's going to be a mess of damage. Did he five foot step back? Oh, wow. Look at that. Holy shit. 17 plus 30.

30 points of damage. Whoa. Okay. He's still kicking, but he's in bad shape. Second attack. And this guy is a badass. It's his... Yes!

What is it? 90, 80. 90, 80, definite hit. 5d6 plus 13. Oh, my God. He's so dead. Oh, my God. I've got so many...

Oh, my God. 19. 19 plus 13, so 34. 32. All right, wait a minute. 32 points of damage? Yeah. All right, wait a minute. 32 points of damage? Yeah. All right, I forgot something.

Let me just make sure. Oh, no. All right. Oh, God. All right. Shut up. I forgot rules. He has ferocity.

Oh, no. Whoa. No. Whoa, shit. You have taken him well into the negative. So I assume he'll yield. But he has a constitution. Since he has ferocity.

Of 21. Ooh. Well, that's almost as high as Sir Will's. Almost as high as Sir Will's. Fucking Christ. Oh, my God. We're having fun, Skin. Somebody get you guys a sandwich.

All right. Della and Sir Will are adjacent, correct? Well, Della's above. Yeah. Oh, you're still fine. Well, you came down to S? Well, Della's above. Yeah. Oh, you're still flying. Well, no, I mean, she disarmed him, so he's... Well, you came down to Sunderer. Yeah, she's adjacent.

So he's going to pick up his weapon in the water? Oh, that's right. I mean, cleaving his hand is stupid, right? No, he could... Yeah, he could do that. That would be cute. Wipe out her. He could always try to pull the spike out of the ground if you want to.

I hate you guys! He might do a little damage Mother effer What do I do here Abloh Wait but he's Did he take a five foot step there Now I'm trying to figure out what to do

He's not going to yield Well He's in a to yield? Uh... Well... No, he's Ferocity. He's in a ferocious mode, and so all he can do... He should yield. ...is he'll attempt to strike out at Della. So he's not moving.

Nope. Attack one, eleven, attack two. You only get one, right? No, I didn't move. I'm just swinging at Della. But aren't you staggered when you're below zero or something? Isn't that... Am I making that up? Yeah, Ferocity. Oh, that's one, right? No, I didn't move. I'm just swinging at Della. But aren't you staggered when you're below zero or something? Am I making that up? Yeah, ferocity.

Oh, that's right. He's in ferocity mode, so he doesn't have the intelligent capacity to be like, I should probably talk to them and work something out. Or maybe I'll leave and find my friends. So he just swings out at Della and misses. And it's Della's turn. Oh, here we go. All right.

Shocking grasp. Do it. Actually, she can't do shocking grasp because she's going to have to move and provoke. And he lost one hit point after that. Yeah, I got it. All right. I got the HP. You can just attack him. Just attack him.

Because he's so low. Just kill him. 18. Miss, right You can just attack him. He's so low. Just kill him. 18. Miss, right? That is a miss. Multiple attack? No, because I have to fly or drop to the ground. Oh, okay. So now you're going to provoke an attack.

If this was a creature that could be like, let's break bread and talk about this. He is like ferociously approaching death. Della passes her hover check. All right, so Della just tries Mrs. Barron. Not in a really good position. Nope.

Barron's going to move 20 feet forward. 25. All right, asshole. Just kidding. 20 feet. Diagonally, though, he moves 82 feet because of... We're not counting that.

So Barron sneaks up. He's got a little bit of a view on there. He's going to get some bonuses. He's not going to be able to shoot. He's just going to say, Finish this, Will. So he tells Sir Will to finish it. It's a tough AC, but it's Nestor's turn.

Nestor's stuck behind those pits in the difficult terrain. Let's see. He can automatically jump over the pit, though. Oh, right, but that would be his whole move action. Okay. Yeah, I'm going to double move, and I'm going to get

at an angle past everyone in the way of the giant, and if by some miracle it survives another round, I will take it. If this lasts another round, Nestor is in a perfect position to put one between its eyes. Sir Will, it's going to be tough, man. What do you got? Got a bottle cap? Sir Will, I gotta say

there's a little darkness happening here. He was like, yield. As the Earth Elemental, he didn't yield, he kept fighting back, and now he's just like, die. Oh, slams down. Yeah! 90-17.

31 to hit. That is a hit. Come on, Willamette. 11 points of damage. Die! Boom, he falls into the water. He's got a taste of murder. That's so great.

Earth Elemental just boom! And his blood and this brown murky water just starts to turn red with the blood of Uruk. Wow. Umlo falls out of his rage and is just like... And he looks at the hand. He's absolutely terrified. He literally almost committed suicide.

Yeah. How many points above zero are you after you leave your rage? Just out of curiosity. 26. Oh, so you're nowhere near dying. Good. Yeah, if he took a couple more hits, he'd be in real trouble. Well, if Della had knocked his axe away and...

So smart. So smart. So amazingly smart. Bottle coins. Bottle caps. Or no vital strength. So smart. So amazingly smart. Bottle coins. Bottle caps. Or no vital strength. All right. So, couple of frilled lizards.

Couple of pit traps. A mongrel cave giant stone giant. You see all these rocks up in the corner. These two pillars. This murky water. Two ways of getting out of here. One to the northwest. One to, like, one to the southwest,

for lack of true cardinal directions. You can see the map. What do you guys do? It's darkness. If you turn back to naked Sir Will, Rose Light will be on the map. How did Sir Will see anything during that battle?

Just out of curiosity. Did we just gloss his lack of dark vision over? Well, no, he had the sword. He had the sword and he became an earth elemental which i think can probably see come on grant but you left the sword like back here all right anyway all right let's go all right let's let's re-record the last 40 minutes yeah you know let's run it back no i just say just permanently kill sir will and then we're good um okay so i just want to check out the body of the giant i want to look at the magical stuff you going to jump in the water and swim for him? I'll detect magic on the water.

Well, I can't detect magic, actually. Can someone detect magic on the water? No, we'll detect magic on the water. He's a favor now. Seriously. Is Sheriff's like, can somebody get all this detect magic shit? Let's go. Actually, I can do that.

I'm such a dumbass. You detect magic on the water, which includes this mongrel cave giant as well, and you don't detect any magic. Oh, nothing on him. Okay, I'll dive in and check his body, just to see if he has any gold coins. How deep is the water? The water's only like three or four feet deep. Oh, okay.

Baron, you check. Baron's drowning. Baron's drowning in a pool of water. You don't see anything on him. Roll a perception check. Not great. That is a 22 perception. 22 perception.

You do see what looks like coins at the bottom of the water. I grab one and I inspect it to look for any writing. It is a gold piece. Well, I keep on grabbing them and I steal the wishes of the people that flipped them into the well before and I say, Haha, you'll never get your wish, asshole. See this coin? This one was my wish.

My dream. I'm taking it back. I'm taking them all back. That all ends the minute we go up Troy's bucket. That's true! He was Troy because he was such an asshole! He was the best character in the history. Shut up! Oh my God.

Now that's a Spielberg... Troy! That's a Spielberg joint I can get behind. Oh man. Even though I didn't direct it. You know what? Fuck you. You don't find any coins.

You mean you don't find that one coin. You find some coins. you're able to like if you want to spend time there you could definitely gather some coins i'm gonna spend some time in this water because it feels so good i'm looking for nester coins actually you don't find any nester over here you do find sorry over here jack you do find 187 gold pieces holy shit whoa Yep, and 635 silver pieces. Oh. And none are... Oh, go ahead.

And you also find, like, if you just keep searching through the sludge at the bottom of the pool, a round bluish stone, like the size of a small plate. Baron lifts it out of the water and says to the crew, I wish I had tried muck raking when I had the chance. This is so great.

And I'll detect magic on the blue stone? No magic. Appraise it. It's just mud and shit. No, the blue stone I pulled out. Right, but it's, like, covered in... Oh, can I clean it off? Yeah, so if you, like, rub it off...

Yeah, appraise it. Okay. Twelve. Twelve. You clean it of all the muck, and it's a sapphire that you think is worth over a thousand gold pieces. Oh, my God. You can't quite get the number on it, but, like, nice find. I will put that in my bag of holding far away from the patricidal maniac, Nestor Coy.

No, no. Not maniac, but patricidal. I'm looking to try to appraise it if we want to get it figured out. Sure. That's just rude. He doesn't know you. 20 on the appraise check.

It's worth 1,350 gold pieces. Whoa. That's nice. I got into the ballpark, but someone would have taken me for a ride if I tried to sell it. Right. You wouldn't have got the full value.

Umlo needs to drink his potion of Cure Sirius. Where did he get that, by the way? A tenner, right? That's right. Did she give a potion or she just healed him? No, she... She gave us all potions. No, she just healed him. Or someone gave us potions.

Yeah, he got it from someone. Yeah, he didn't get it from a tenner. Cast your love wool. Oh, you got it in the grog hall. Yeah, that's... That's right. I think that's what it was. Anybody else do anything?

I'm going to cast heal on myself. Sir Will walks over to Lexington as an earth elemental. And he's just like, Did you see? I killed him. And Lexington gives him this look like, what the fuck is wrong with you? And then all of a sudden, Will, as an earth elemental, I imagine Groot slumps his shoulders, and he's like,

oh, I lost myself a bit there. Yeah, but he was definitely fired up by that kill. Oh, yeah, I can imagine. I mean, the power, the strength. He'd never felt anything like that before, even in Oskroth's armor. And imagine the elemental body, I think, lasts for like a minute, so eventually you just come back into your naked form. And Lexington's kind of being a little dodgy, and he's like,

I'm sorry, Lexington. I got carried away. Won't happen again. Yeah, he's probably a little freaked out. Yeah, exactly. Does he ask Umlo to help him redawn a Scruff's armor? Yeah. And then he's like, let me put that armor back on.

Umlo's hands are shaking, but he helps him. While he's distracted. Fatigued. And Umlo's fucked up. shaking but he helps him while he's distracted fatigued well terror and like he's almost fucked up he's like that was not he we've we've been this has been slowly getting worse and worse for umla but that was like suicidal you mean he lost complete control and left himself wide open to death yeah i love the idea of like failing that will save means rage yeah yeah it's great and baron's been uh detecting alignments for some time now.

Right. And what Baron wants to do is to get a sense of Will after seeing him do this. Maybe Will answers this question, maybe. But while he's getting donned an armor after seeing him kind of be lusty for a kill and not in a four high very for honor and for glory way, and for Glory Way, he's trying to use the fact he can go through all alignments now as a level two inquisitor and see if he's pulling away from the top left

matrix of lawful good into another area. All I'll say to you is like, let's say you're doing this like while you were on watch, just kind of like, I want to check everybody out, doing all your somatic components. Raving. Right, and checking everybody out, like you've got a very clear sense of Nestor, you have a very clear sense of where Del

has been going. And you've seen Sir Will is still a good character. If Will is talking to Del or talking to Lexington right now and you do all those gestures and stuff, he still seems good. But there's a fire there. And you see that

there's maybe a seesaw there where you're not quite sure where it could go. And you see that there's maybe a seesaw there where you're not quite sure where it could go. And you know, if you're embracing this Inquisitor part of yourself, that Will's fate hangs in the balance of the draw towards both good and evil. So he's exactly like Selena Gomez in Spring Breakers. Perfect. Okay, good. Della wants to inspect the stones, and she's going to call Baron and Umlo to help her decipher the runes. Ah, yes. Very racist of her.

They write in runes. They all do. Do you know those people? They all write in runes. You mean PCs that are experts in runes? Umlo's a cuck. Is it dwarvish? Um...

I'm Lohs got greed, man. It certainly is not. I can provide a touch... You see next to the pile of stones a large wooden mallet and a chisel with a wooden handle carved to resemble a cave bear. Hmm. Also near the stones is a three-legged bronze tripod whose top consists of a bronze ring bisected by a worn bronze rod. Detect magic. No magic.

Seems to be some sort of tool or mechanism long forgotten. Knowledge check? Yeah, you can roll a knowledge on it. What, knowledge engineering? Yeah. 25. That one doesn't know. So with a 25, Baron, you look at that and you feel like this needs to be combined with other things in order for it to work.

But what its actual purpose is, you're not 100% sure. Okay. Should we take it? Are the tripod legs screwed into the ground, or is it a movable object? No, you can totally lift it. It's not super heavy. It feels like something goes

in the tripod, maybe, or near the tripod. It almost seems like a prospecting device oh fiddle sticks no like when you go out with like a no no no a surveying tool oh okay

I guess it's not that since Troy has no idea what you're talking about good poker face Troy and there's no magic coming from the bear it's not that since Troy has no idea what you're talking about. Good poker face, Troy. And there's no magic coming from the bear or is it valuable? Is the man out of anything valuable? The the

which was not the bear. It's the mallet. It's a wooden mallet and a chisel. They're masterwork artisan tools. If anyone here is a sculptor they would be masterwork artisan tools. If anyone here is a sculptor, they would be masterwork artisan tools

to help you with your sculpting. They'd probably be those even if we weren't a sculptor, right? Nope. They'd magically become If you're a fisherman, they're fisher's tools. Okay, moving on. Can we read the writing on the stones themselves?

We all speak giant, basically, though. Right, right, yeah. Everyone speaks giant. Is there anyone who doesn't? Sir Will doesn't. I can also roll a linguistics check. Yep. Well, you do see above the stones, dangling from a row of spikes pounded into the wall,

long strings of dead bats tied together in clumps. And next to the bats, numerous tally marks have been scratched in the wall. Whoa. Every stone itself is carved with a single rune in the giant tongue. And anyone who speaks giant, even though the rune is archaic and not something you would have learned back in giant school, it is, each rune is linked to a number, a numerical value. Oh. Whoa. Like a single digit, or it's?

Yeah. Okay. Weird. Are there digits over 10? There are over 10 as well. Oh, there are? All sorts of digits. Some of them are broken, like you don't see a complete set,

but you see that, like, one that hit Baron in the face was like a 7, but there's like a 17 there, and you see that one that hit Baron in the face was like a 7, but there's like a 17 there, and a 14, and a 28. All these rocks. Huh. The bronze tripod may be connected to it, may not be. The artisan tool looks ancient, like someone made these

a long time ago, and this is what's been left behind, but maybe Hurag didn't know its full purpose. Is this the ancient giant lottery? Are they arranged in any kind of pattern? Like, could we take a minute and look at the numbers and decide? Haphazard.

Haphazard. Were any of our four people involved in anything like this? The deities? Was anyone sculpting or carving anything? That's a good question. I think it was fire and hunting and prayer. Nothing from a tennis vision. Clay.

Tied in specifically to that. Maybe the clay. Quickly, I just want to detect magic over the area filled with the rocks to see if we need to bother moving them and looking around. Nothing. It seems like the hammer and the bronze tripod are the most important things there. Cool. You have an exit leading basically north,

more northwest than anything, and then one leading south-southeast. Let's go north. Do you want to tremor sense them one more time yeah let's let's tremor sense both of the doors and if we'll keep on following life I guess puts his hand to the south

south southwest but more south than anything doesn't feel anything within 30 feet you put your hands towards the north west chamber much more north westerly 30 feet. You put your hands towards the northwest chamber. Much more northwesterly than the southwesterly

one. And don't feel anything either. 30 feet isn't all that useful. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. No, it's not. Especially when it's a giant and they can... Yeah. Maybe it feels on the other side of a wall or something.

But otherwise... Last question. Do either of them look like they've had any work done on them by like human hands not naturally formed? The caverns themselves? No. Yeah. Either passageway.

Roll a perception check. Yes. That is a 32. So if that's what you're looking at, just kind of peering at the caverns themselves, it looks like whoever made these caverns made them centuries ago. Okay. But very recently, other creatures have been re-excavating and reconfiguring these caverns. Okay.

So I'd like to follow whatever seems to be the place where those creatures have been re-excavating. Do either of these pass survival check, anything like that? From where you are right now, everything looks kind of... Okay, we'll go with whatever Sir Will says then. To the north, I say. So you continue... I feel that's where our blessing is So the bloodthirsty

Naked earth elemental Do you don your armor by the way at this point Yeah Umlo's gonna pull Nestor aside You have to stop me I could've died No mate you were brilliant That was great

I saw you stabbed it. It was great. Why would I want to stop you from doing that? I couldn't think. I could only feel hatred. Listen, mate. I don't like to say this, but thinking is not really a strong suit anyway.

So I think you should just go with it, mate. Just go with it. Like, it's working. It's all working. I'm low as, like, you can see the rage boiling up inside of him, but he's used all four rounds instead. I see.

I like the way your mind's going. That's perfect. I'll just save that for later. That's perfect. You guys continue northwest, and eventually the passage opens into another wide cave with another high ceiling and smooth walls webbed with cracks. If you look down on the floor, there's a thick crust of cave sediment just

covering the ground. You didn't see that in the last room, along with a scattering of Oh, cool. There are like animals, maybe four different animals. Some you recognize, some you don't. But between the four animals are four huge pictographic murals depicting enormous stone buildings in a variety of settings. And around those murals is an arch of painted runes. Two of them look very familiar to you. One being where you found the fire geodes. Oh, the cathedral. So this is the map.

One being Jogrethir's cave. And two, you do not recognize. Oh, baby! What do you guys do? Well, nobody has knowledge geography, obviously, because no one ever has that. Della can roll it. Oh, yeah.

I would do a knowledge geography to see if you can guess a pattern. So you guys all enter the room and just kind of look around? Yeah, we come in and we're looking at it. Well, I mean, don't we obviously get the sense that what we're looking at is... Actually, I'm going to do like a just... Nestor's going to look for traps, like more trapped floors or anything. Sure. So roll a perception.

I mean, if one is geodes and one is the... The horn. Yeah, a geography, then doesn't it stand to reason that the other two are the other two things? Yeah, but I mean trying to get a sense of where they are is the thing. Della doesn't know. Knowledge local wouldn't be applicable.

Nestor roll for traps. 25. 25. So Nestor you look around and the room seems fairly untrapped. Like, you don't sense... Fairly untrapped.

Fairly untrapped. Relatively untrapped. Like the Ramble House. Fairly untrapped. Exactly. Some rooms, yes. Some rooms, no. Only a reasonable number of traps.

I mean, you didn't check every room. Four assassins from Freedontown enter the cave. I'm improvising a sentence, and I don't realize until it's halfway out how stupid it sounds. It's fairly untrapped. It's fairly untrapped. It looks fairly not deadly. So you look around and you don't see any traps. Do the rest of you walk into the room?

I mean, there are these four images, the four pictures of animals. Like one looks like a rhinoceros. One looks very familiar to you. You can't quite place it. And the other two are animals that you haven't seen. And then these four buildings. Do you guys walk in and kind of like inspect this while Nestor is checking for traps? Yeah, I stand in front of Jogrethir's thing.

See if my horn reacts or anything. What about you, Della? Della, yeah, will approach as well and try to read the runes above them. Okay. Sir Will? Yeah, Sir Will is, if there's something recognizable about the fire geode symbols or the Jogrethir symbols, he's going to try to decipher which of the other ones means the prayer.

Nestor, do you go straight to the one that's tied to you, the Adirami's Chapel, after you detect that you don't feel like there's any traps? No, I'm just going to stand back. Kind of stand back. Nestor, you stand back and you're looking for traps and you don't quite see any traps, but you do

see what looks like markings on the floor covered by this silt. And you feel like if you were to wipe it away, you would get a better sense of what's going on. Yeah, I start to hold on a minute and I start brushing it away. So Nestor starts brushing it away and you see that there are lines

like bisecting the room. As you're doing that Baron is staring at Jogrethir's picture. Della, you're kind of staring at the image of what you think is somehow

connected to what could be Mimrith the Maker's domain. And Sir Will, if you're parsing out what you're not connected to, you're trying to find maybe one of these places has to do with where you would find the blessing of Rosak. The blessing, yeah. And what's Umlo doing? I think Umlo probably would, since he's with Nestor,

he's probably going to be helping him sweep the silt away from the floor. So Umlo's helping him sweep the floor. And Baron and Della and Sir Will all of a sudden just, like, lose themselves in these paintings. And start, like, getting lost. And Umlo is helping Nestor sweep away the silt and looks up and sees Baron and Della and Sir Will like not really there anymore. And he looks up to the left and sees like a elephant image. And then he

looks up to the right and sees an image on the wall starting to become three-dimensional as one of the animals on the wall starts to come off. And Umlo doesn't recognize it, but I'm sure he's heard campfire stories of the party's fight with a Gareon.

What? No! See you next week. Oh, no! What? No! Oh, my God. Revenge of the Gareon.

You son of a bitch. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Powerhouse and Tate production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015. Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paizo. All Pathfinder images are property of Paizo and are used with permission.