The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 11 - Four Warnings and a Funeral
Episode Date: August 11, 2015Victory! Finally defeated, the shadowy Daktani reveals a sinister plan that may threaten all of Trunau! The party returns to deliver these dire tidings to the town leaders, even as preparations are ma...de to lay Patrol Captain Rodrik Grath to rest. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast, the characters shake off a brutal encounter and focus on the tasks at hand.
So, uh, are we gonna head back to get rest?
Yeah, I think, yeah, we need full rest.
Back to room 28?
We need to warn the town, I don't know how imminent this attack is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The seditious half-orc aims to turn Lork against his allies.
You know that they hate us!
Well, the orcs are just gonna kill you anyway.
They've always been prejudiced of us and they've always treated us like shit!
Do you think they like you?
They think they look at you like a friend?
They think you're filth!
Could he incite a rebellion?
Each one of you sees a half-orc kind of look at you sideways and quickly skulk away.
With the fate of True Now in the balance, there's no time for bad jokes.
Anything I brew, no matter how big the business, would be a micro-brew as a dwarf.
I wonder if Skid's writing your jokes.
The adventure continues now. In the interest of full disclosure,
I just had some peanut butter before I recorded this.
Mostly because I'm an idiot.
Anyways, what's shaking, everybody?
It's your old pal, Troy the Valley, dungeon master and host of the Glass Cannon Podcast.
Oh, baby, do we have an episode for you this week? Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho. What happened last week? Oh, So our heroes have survived the massive boss battle against diminutive vermin, and some
questions are starting to be answered while other new mysteries are beginning to come
to light.
I want to take a moment this week and put on my DM cap for a second, if I may, and talk
about the concept of resting in Pathfinder, since the players were ready to murder me last
week because they didn't get to rest before the Shadow Rat Doctani fight. It's a difficult concept
to handle, I think. In my games that I run, I'm pretty dead set against letting PCs rest in the
middle of a dungeon. It's just like, well, we've killed a few dozen goblin in this underground
cavern that's still pretty huge and clearly full of monsters, let's take a quick nap next to that
flaming strike trap that almost killed us. It just doesn't make sense to me. Now, obviously,
everyone wants all their powers and spells and hit points back before the big fights,
but in my mind, I think the onus is on the players to find a way to both conserve their
powers for when they've obviously hit the big encounter of the day and stock up on healing
potions so that your cleric doesn't have to burn through all his channels too early.
To be honest, we're actually playing with our own house rule where when you rest, you
get back all your hit points, spells, and powers.
But the actual rule as written is that for every eight hours of rest, you only get back
the equivalent of your character's level in hit points.
So for example, a second level character rests eight hours, he gets back two hit points.
That's brutal, right? But that's the actual rule. In the core rulebook, they say you can also allow your players
to get back their level plus their con bonus per eight hours rest as like an alternative,
but that's still pretty small in comparison to getting them all back after eight hours.
With regards to spells, arcane spellcasters get all their spells back after eight hours rest,
whereas clerics and divine spellcasters, they only need one hour of prayer to get their spells back after eight hours rest, whereas clerics and divine spell casters, they only need one hour of prayer to get their spells back.
But to get back powers like Galabras' channeling ability or Baron's grit points, for example,
you need eight hours rest.
So yeah, I may have goaded them into a combat they were under-rested for, for lack of a
better word, but it just wouldn't make sense that Daktani saw them with a flood troll and
ran to the other room.
Then the party said, let's go back home, rest and eat some pizza.
Then we'll go back to the plague house the next day.
And there's Doctani sitting there with his thumb up his ass playing checkers, just waiting to be ambushed.
It's stupid.
So the moral of the story is I'm clearly the most generous DM in the history of the Glass Cannon podcast.
Folks, as always, on behalf of the GCP team, I want to extend a hearty and humble thank you
for all the support.
Seriously.
You know, we just cruised past 1,300 subscribers.
iTunes put us on their front page,
and the reviews that you've been writing
really warm the cockles of our nerdy black hearts.
Give us a follow on social media.
Shoot us an email to say hi.
But in the meantime, get ready for a fun one.
Here comes episode 11 four
warnings and a funeral all right it's time for another uh heated episode of the glass cannon
podcast i'll kill you that got pretty hot worst dm ever wow i'm just kidding he's the best he's
awesome um let's everybody give him a hand like Oh, boy. Whoa, get your hands off there. That's not what he meant.
That was my penis that he touched.
All right.
Okay.
So that's it.
That was the end of the adventure.
So you guys.
Oh, we killed the Shadow Rat boss.
Game over.
Shadow Rat boss was behind the whole attack on Trinau.
So that's it.
Okay.
Yeah. So that's it. Okay. Yeah, so okay, so we left off,
and you found a body of a half-orc
that Galabros knew just from his dress was a cleric.
Oh, I don't think we knew it was a half-orc.
I don't think we did.
What I meant was you noticed that it was a cleric.
Right.
So it's a half-orc?
It is what remains of a half-orc.
It seems as if the rats have taken their fill of what was left of the body.
So all of its strength, those bastards.
I'd say, Goliath, you're a man of the cloth.
Why don't you approach?
Its remains are pretty heavily embedded in the rock.
Gross. The rubble, rather. its remains are pretty heavily embedded in the rock gross
the rubble rather
I'm just going to do a perception check on it
sure can you guys pull it out
a little bit
with a strength check
sure
I mean I can't
Lork's really strong
my strength is terrible right now because of that shadow wrap
he was yesterday
20 natural 19 I don't have a plus 1 Looks really strong. Yeah, my strength is terrible right now because of that shadow rap. He was yesterday. Ooh!
20.
Natural 19.
I only have a plus one. You fling it across the room.
I only have a plus one to strength right now.
It was DC 10.
Wow.
Ah!
Oh, right.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
And then Galabras looks at it, and this rather macabre corpse still wears a suit of sturdy chainmail and his
pockets hold a
wand of cure light wounds
with eight charges remaining.
That's good to have.
A fine silver dagger
worth 160 gold pieces.
A red gold
unholy symbol of
Nelgreath, the blood god.
Geez.
Worth 60 gold pieces.
And six blacks.
Six blacks.
Six blacks.
And six blacks.
And six black onyx gems worth 25 gold pieces each.
Oh, that's great.
Wow.
Pretty decent haul for this.
Yeah, 150 Gs?
Half or a clerk.
We're all rich now.
Yeah, let's retire.
But I mean, the body is completely decimated.
The rats and what other vermin has been down here.
So this was a, I guess Galabros is telling us,
but this was a dark cleric.
Yes, Nelgreath.
For more information on Nelgreath,
check out the Pathfinder campaign setting,
Belskin, Hold of the Orc Hordes.
Do we do a knowledge religion check?
I mean, does he know about this?
Or should I just look at my copy of Hold of Belskin when I get home?
I probably should have done it before the episode,
but I'll look it up as we're going throughout this.
I'll tell you more about Nelgrith.
Nelgrith.
Yes, but you can roll a knowledge religion
for old Nully.
16?
16.
So what you know with a 16
is Nullgreath is an orc god
known as the Blood God.
He is the god of anger,
rage, and strength.
Chaotic evil.
And his favorite weapon
is the orc double axe.
The sacred animal, the Wolverine.
You know a lot, Calabras.
You have this encyclopedic knowledge.
I studied this in school.
All orcs reverend Ulgrath is the source of their ferocity.
Imagine, like, just a blood demon orc.
Oh, wow. Troy is showing us a picture of this thing right now looks really cool i'll put that up on the tumblr it's really awesome drawing um yeah so
that's what you find it's worth a couple couple coins and now you have this dead uh half-orc
cleric and the uh the tunnel ended about 15 feet in.
Looks like someone was digging for something and abandoned the dig.
Can I do a heal check to see approximation how long this body has been down here?
Sure.
I'll do the same thing.
As a ranger, I have some heal skills.
Nine.
Oh, terrible.
Five. Yeah. I got a six. Oh, my Nine. All the same. Terrible. Five.
Yeah.
I got a six.
Oh, my God.
Oh, wait.
We have another.
There you go.
22.
Oh, wow.
Weeks.
Weeks.
Less than two months.
Okay.
And there's no personal identifying items on this thing?
No. With only the unholy symbol.
What about cause of death?
Were there broken bones?
Did he fall down from that pit?
Is he broken legs, ankles, anything like that?
I will roll Baron's heel check over.
He was killed.
Oh.
Should we ask our new captives about it?
Yeah.
For sure.
Doc Tani.
I don't know nothing about it.
You don't know shit.
You didn't see this body.
He only told me what I needed to know.
You're useless.
Where is Screed?
I don't know.
Where's his hideout?
I don't know.
I think that they used to...
Stop lying.
Ow, stop hitting me.
I think that they used to use this place as their hideout,
and clearly they were looking for something,
but then they abandoned it,
and then I was just told to be an infiltrator here.
Ah, that was in the note to Melira.
It's like, don't...
It's something about...
Something about, like, don't be frustrated,
even though we haven't found what we're looking for.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm optimistic that our plans are still going to come through or whatever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Baron approaches Daktani, and in one hand he holds shit,
and in the other hand he holds Shinola,
and asks him to tell the difference between the two.
My knowledge shit skill
isn't that good.
Well, it was worth a try.
You'll never know the difference.
Gormley sits down next to Daktani and is
like, really close.
Uncomfortably close.
Alright, so I found it here. I'm going to
call back. Oh, sorry, go ahead.
No, go ahead, Joe.
I just, sorry.
I found the note here.
I'm just going to call back.
Malira, I shouldn't be away much longer.
We still haven't found what we're looking for,
but it's only a matter of time,
and preparations are proceeding as planned.
A meddling militiaman has been poking around,
but I don't foresee him being a problem much longer.
Once our work is done, it won't matter anyway, and I can return to you.
I marvel that I found you, blah, blah, blah.
But, yeah, so I guess they were digging for something here
and then gave up when Roderick started poking around
and were like, I guess we'll get rid of him.
But he says it doesn't matter either way.
I think they kept on looking.
They killed him so he wouldn't really,
I don't know if he ever got to this point
because there was a troll down there and all that other stuff.
He just started to investigate but this guy daktani says they that this was his headquarters that this was screed's headquarters and he he pieced out that's
what i think i i don't know i'm just pieced this together myself i was just told to me are you
eavesdropping on our conversation i can't help it here you're very loud i i was just told to meet
with these two flood trolls and get and be like a coordination of Screed's activities.
Gromley is now sitting very, very uncomfortably close
to Dr. Hane and says,
so what about the clothes upstairs?
Those aren't mine.
The nobles' clothes.
I know nothing about it.
Were they going to use this in some sort of plot? Listen, I told you what I know. I had nothing about it. Were they about to, were they going to use this in some sort of plot?
Listen, I told you what I know.
I had nothing to do with this. Can I sense
motive to see if he's telling the truth? Sure.
17.
No, I really don't know.
I'll tell you, my only job, my only
job was to schedule regular
meetings with these two flood trolls
who served as emissaries between Screed's half-orc saboteurs and whatever other tribe he was talking about.
And they're the ones that are going to attack Trunao.
That's all I know.
But why do this, Ducktani?
Why sell out your people?
Why sell out your whole town to an orc raid?
Because they hate us.
You know that they hate us.
Well, the orcs are just going to kill you anyway.
They've always been prejudiced of us and they've always treated us like shit.
I'm surprised that you haven't turned already.
Yeah, but at least they don't try to murder you and do terrible things to your asshole.
Well, right.
Not to put too fine a point on that.
They do great things to your asshole in True Now.
When Screet approached me and asked if I wanted to take part in a plot that would things to your asshole in True Now. When Screed approached me
and asked if I wanted
to take part in a plot
that would assure
the devastation of True Now
and guarantee me
a leadership position
in Screed's orc tribe,
I was more than happy
to agree
because at least there
I would be appreciated.
Whereas in True Now,
I'm trash
just like you're trash.
You think they like you?
They think they look at you
like a friend?
They think you're filth.
They think we're all filth.
I like him.
Yeah, I'm okay with him.
Thank you, Calabros.
And Gormley, I'm coming around on you too.
But I don't like you.
Give it time.
But I don't like you.
See? Racist.
So Gormley...
You're just a dick.
And because he doesn't like you you call him racist why because i almost
burned your friend to death one thing i'm i'm still not thrilled with that
gormley gormley i thought it was a shadow rat you're still covered with burns yeah we uh speaking
of which we should uh get to haul this guy back to town. We need to warn the town. I don't know how imminent
this attack is.
One last question. Where's the other
flood troll?
They were twins, right?
They were twins.
Where's the brother?
We killed the sister.
You killed the sister.
We always met at separate times
so they would never have enough
information on their own.
It would keep the channels clear.
When's the next meeting?
Next meeting is sometime in the next week.
You literally just said your only job was to schedule the meeting.
What day is the meeting?
Well, you ruined my meeting today, so I wasn't able to set up the next meeting.
You killed the emissary.
So I would think that the troll's going to assume that something's up and not even come not a few teller now who's the murderer you you oh what
who said that all right let's let's search this area thoroughly the lockbox and get the lockbox
if we can't what do you want to use the knock scroll yeah go ahead
okay because you can't you can't i can't learn it so you can't learn knock yeah yeah might as well
use it um so yeah let's search this room and the tunnel all right and then go open the lockbox and
get the kid back to town too so how do you want us to do it troy do you want us to perceive the
tunnel first perceive the room with the celestial statues where we fought Daktani.
Well, the tunnel you pretty much
cleared out. You found that
they stopped whatever they were looking for
and there was a murdered
body of a cleric in there. That's all
looked at. So
the statues you can take a look at.
I'm going to do a religion
check on the statues.
Can I do an arcana
check uh no it would be religion for this 16 16 uh they are various uh statues of the emissaries
of iomidae uh what are the emissaries of iomidae are they like angels kind of or yeah like or
yeah i guess they would be like above human they're like demigods they're kind of? Yeah, I guess they would be the equivalent of angels.
They're above humans, they're like demigods.
They're kind of like the heralds of Galactus.
Oh, okay, heralds, got it.
Yeah, that's a great one.
All right, so 17 perception check,
just around the statues looking for any hidden latches
or hidden compartments within them.
What'd you roll for perception?
17.
No, you don't see anything.
Anything of note.
This is an old, abandoned sanctuary.
I'm going to do a perception check, too, just on the room.
20?
20?
20 you notice
one of them is holding a
sword
a long sword of Yomedai
and the sword comes out
and it's a masterwork long sword
that's awesome
gentlemen
you're all cunts
I told you he's a racist sorry that was Gentlemen, you're all cunts. Jesus Christ.
I told you he's a racist.
Sorry, that was a sexist piece of reference.
He's racist against.
Yeah, I pulled the sword out.
I said, this looks like rather a nice piece of work.
A master work, one might say.
You're a nice pick of ours.
Whoa.
Can we gag him?
Whoa.
I think I just had a stroke.
Pick-up.
Yet another mini-stroke from the DM.
Yeah, okay.
Well, that's...
I think I just had a stroke.
I think that's probably it.
Let's get out of here.
Let's head up to the lockbox
and use the knock spell. Let's knock the lockbox let's head up to the lockbox and use the knock spell
let's knock the lockbox
knocking on the lockbox
you can't cast that spell do you have to roll
yep yep yep
so I'm going to try to not
oh but I can give her
the luck
so I figured out I read the scroll thing
so it is
it's over your caster level
because Gormley can't cast level 2 spells yet and it is a scroll thing. It's over your caster level because
Gormley can't cast level 2 spells yet
and it is a second level spell.
So in order to activate
the scroll, since it's above
your spell level,
you have to roll the die
and
the DC
is the scroll's
caster level. You have to make a caster level check equal to the scrolls caster level.
You have to make a caster level check
equal to the scrolls caster level plus one
to cast it successfully.
So it should be pretty easy, actually.
So it's like a four?
No, it's like a four.
It's not 10 plus.
It's like the scroll equals the caster's level plus one.
So three.
No.
What do you need to be?
The question is what do you need to be as a witch to cast a second level spell?
You have to be...
Third level?
Third level, right.
Third level.
So it's add one.
So it's a DC four check.
And you add your caster level to it,
which is two.
So you basically,
if you roll a one,
you fail.
Anything else, you're fine.
So I don't even need you a little bit of luck.
I can just do guidance,
and I'll be fine.
Yes, absolutely.
I might as well give you the luck,
because I think we're done for the day.
Well, I like it when you touch me, so.
Okay.
Wow, that's it?
That's pretty easy. Yeah, I mean, I think it? That's pretty easy
Yeah, I mean I think that
I think it's a lot easier
With these lower level spells
I think that if we were third level
Because you can often be
Like a third level character and get a
Scroll of like a fifth level spell
And you have to be like
An eighth level caster to cast that
So then it becomes like DC9, you're adding three to it.
So yeah, essentially, scrolls are not supposed to be impossible to activate.
Yeah, they're made to be used.
They're made to be used.
And clearly this scroll is here for the talk box.
But occasionally, there's a small percentage chance that you ruin it,
and something bad happens.
Right, and Biddle Lock's worth it,
because a one is always a fail no matter what,
it says right here,
for Skrulls.
Oh.
A natural roll of one always fails
whenever the modifier is.
So it absolutely,
you absolutely need Biddle Lock.
I give you the Biddle Lock.
Right.
And if she fails,
she must make a DC five wisdom check
to avoid a mishap.
And you don't have a high wisdom,
do you?
No,
I'm not a wise character.
But you would get
a second roll on that, too.
Yeah, so. Okay, I'm giving you a bit of luck.
And I'm touching myself and casting guidance.
Oh, I hope you roll a one-one, because that just makes it exciting.
Okay, it's a nine and a seven, so.
Okay, so you're good.
So we cast it on this lockbox.
And it says,
this can also be bypassed with a dispel magic or knock spell.
Oh, nice, nice.
And the steel lockbox, sealed with an arcane lock, opens up.
Oh, so it wasn't even just a regular lock.
It was an arcane lock.
Yep.
It's pretty sweet here.
It says, breaking open the chest with brute force has a 75% chance of breaking each item inside.
So if you just said, let me break through through it i roll to see what gets destroyed oh but uh this was a good use
of that scroll yeah very good you guys nailed it uh a little behind the curtain uh knowledge of
what happened so what you see inside is a potion two scrolls a masterwork hand crossbow,
and a case containing ten normal bolts,
ten cold iron bolts,
and ten silver bolts.
Uh-oh.
Can I do a spellcraft check on those scrolls?
Silver bolts.
I'm loading them in my crossbow.
Sixteen on the spellcraft check. Okay, one is a scroll of bark skin
And one is a scroll of ghostbane dirge
What is fucking that?
It's in the advanced player's guide
I don't own that
And the other thing, whatever
It's a potion of dark vision
Something we all already
have so it was a masterwork hand crossbow a masterwork hand crossbow does anyone want a
crossbow or do we have an objection to me using that well i don't know that you can use a hand
crossbow yeah oh you guys are gonna love this you know what ghost made dirge does oh does it kill
ghost rats automatically?
It says the target coalesces into a semi-physical form
for a short period of time.
When subject to the spell,
the incorporeal creature takes half damage
from non-magical attack forms
and full damage from magical weapons.
Oh, that jerk.
We should have done this earlier.
We were too busy.
There might be a locked door downstairs.
We were out thinking ourselves. The adventure was like. There might be a locked door downstairs. We were out thinking
ourselves.
The adventure was like,
here's the exact spell
you need.
We should leave it here.
We'll come back to it
later.
I could,
that's an exotic weapon
hanging,
or the,
I think it's exotic.
I don't think it is,
but,
I could use it as a
backup.
It's a martial.
It is,
it is.
It's exotic.
Okay.
It's just that like rogues, for example example, they're not proficient with exotic weapons,
but they're immediately proficient with a hand crossbow.
I'm exotic weapon proficient, but just with one-handed firearms.
Right.
Great.
So it's something that we should hold on to.
It would be neat if one of you guys could learn how to use it.
Oh, no, no, no. Actually, it would be neat if one of you guys could learn how to use it because... Oh, no, no, no.
Actually, it's completely irrelevant.
You can just sell it because what we need is the bolts.
So you guys are both using crossbows and those cold iron bolts and what was the other one?
A silver.
A silver.
They're great for attacking demons and devils and stuff like that.
Can we hold on to it?
I might take a thief level.
Oh, absolutely we can hold on to it. Yeah, yeah, sure. Let we hold on to it? I might take a thief level Absolutely we can hold on to it Okay cool
Alright so now
We'd like to go back to town
Bring the kid
Lork will escort
Daktani back
We'll leave the kid
With Gormley his babysitter
It's creepy creepy creepy babysitter.
You ever play Go Fish?
Oh, God.
Bring me back to the furnace room.
Oh, Gormley.
And head back to True Now.
Okay, so you guys head back
to True Now.
The whole time, Dr. Honey's like, just don't bring me back
there. This attack can happen any
day now.
And you guys get back there, and Curse greets you at the gate.
And I'm assuming you guys tell him all of what went down.
How does that go?
Let me tell him all of what went down.
So, in episode six, we walked up to the plague house.
We just play planned the podcast
curse curse
can I download that from iTunes?
yeah do you have iTunes?
and just give us a good rating
if you like it
oh okay
is there a Gmail account
I could send a message to?
why in fact there is
if you're interested
in what the combats look like
glasscanonpodcast.tumblr.com
oh that sounds lovely
you can see maps
of the plague house and can see maps of the plague
house and everything so speaking of the plague house what went down there uh yeah so i mean we'll
we'll summarize for him that we've you know we found this flood troll that we think roderick
had found um oh actually we haven't seen this cat since we talked to catrezra and got his journal. So we can show him the journal,
written in Roderick's own hand with his own sketchings.
What was Roderick doing in the plague house?
Investigating.
Well, he was fucking somebody.
He was fucking his half-orc's fiance, Curse.
Don't tell your dad.
Oh, no.
Why would I talk to my father about such things?
But how do you know he was there?
We found
his hope knife. Oh.
Yeah, we hold it out to him and it says
for Roderick, my love.
Oh, this is
both sad and
special moment
at the same time.
We're having his funeral tomorrow at sunset
and it is part
tradition to consecrate the hope
knives of the fallen. May I
keep this?
Wait.
We don't need it, right?
Would Brenio want it? And would that buy us any
goodwill with Brenio? I mean,
Brenio will be present at the funeral.
Right, right, right. Sure.
Didn't mean to be rude.
It's yours.
Okay.
Please take it. It's good, because I mean,
I wasn't really asking.
We're just...
Just thought it was...
We have a tendency to overthink everything.
Man, what happened at the playhouse?
Did you almost get killed
by some shadow rats or something?
I don't know if you can notice it,
but all of my muscles have atrophied.
And can you take a look at this soul?
Oh, my God.
What is that?
This weeping sore.
We actually should head
right to the sanctuary.
To the doctor, yeah.
And get all of your
diseases cured.
Yes, that's exactly
what we should do.
And we should tell
Halgra or somebody,
you know,
somebody.
About the attack.
About the attack.
Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can we,
Kirsten,
Kirsten,
could you get a message
to Halgra?
Tell her to meet us at the sanctuary.
I mean, everything's being happened for Roderick's funeral.
Can you talk to her tomorrow?
No, no, no, no!
What do you need to talk about Halgra?
You can talk to me.
I'm part of the town's militia.
Is everything all right?
Is that guy quiet down?
Who's yelling?
Christ.
Curse, it's a matter of great import for the city.
The city may be under attack.
Under attack by who?
By orcs.
An organized attack.
I mean, worse than usual.
We need to move fast on this.
We need to talk to Halgra.
Now.
Stop asking questions and move.
All right, all right, all right, fine.
We're in the middle of Belkson,
and you're surprised by the idea of an orc attack.
Well, just, you know, we've always had hostilities with them,
but an outright attack?
What led you to believe this?
Come to the meeting with Holger.
Well, I guess we still have Daktani.
I push him up front.
I'm like, we have intelligence from this one.
Push him forward and tell him what you told us.
And he does.
Yeah.
Oh, this is very, very disconcerting.
All right, well, I'll arrange a meeting with Halgrim immediately.
Will you join me tomorrow at the Flame of the Fallen for Roderick's funeral?
It would mean a lot to me for you to be there.
Yes, of course, of course.
You're kind of known now as
being a bit of a
special group to the community.
We're also investigating his death.
It would be nice.
Anything for Roderick. We have to make sure we
sense motive of everyone at that funeral.
So we'll be there. As is tradition.
Just getting in people's face and asking
them why they're crying.
What are you doing at this funeral?
Gormley's going to sense motive on good old Curse here just to see if he's on the up and up.
This poor bastard.
He can never get any trust because he's always like so squirmy.
Well, I rolled a three, so I'm going to assume it's going to be good.
He's the most trustworthy guy I've ever met.
If you need any spiritual counseling, I'm here.
Thank you. Thank you, Calabras. I'm here. Thank you.
Thank you, Calabras.
As a man of a god.
I would love to talk to you sometime when you're not covered in blood.
Well, good luck.
All right, then.
I'll speak to Halgra and I'll set up a meeting.
At the sanctuary.
Tell her to meet us at the sanctuary. Okay and and and then the funeral tomorrow at sunset yes we're coming jesus
it seems like you've got some some
some things i've been drinking stuck in your teeth can i I ask a quick out-of-character question of Skid about his character?
No.
No?
There you go.
As a former slave and someone currently kind of still chained by the situation of living in True Now in the middle of an ork hold,
I don't know what your religious beliefs are, but wouldn't you see death as some sort of emancipation from this awful life at this point, as some sort of relief?
No, no.
I think Galabras sees the chance to do good.
That's all he really wanted.
That's why he set out to this part of the world in the first place
was a chance to do good.
If he were to die, I think he would think of that as being selfish,
like wanting to die.
Okay. So I think he wants, this is an opportunity to do some kind of benefit.
All right.
To the sanctuary.
All right, so you guys go to the sanctuary and get some rest.
But Halgrim comes and sees you before you bed down for the night.
And remember, Halgrim is played by Melissa McCarthy.
Like a beaten-looking Melissa McCarthy.
Any chance I got some removed disease at the sanctuary before she came?
No.
No.
There's nothing wrong with you right now.
But I have a disease.
What about the red?
It was confirmed.
Right, right, right.
It hasn't kicked in.
So you went to Tayari
and asked to have
cured his disease.
Yeah, I mean,
we can pay for it.
We'll pay.
We're good for it.
Yes, yes, please.
That's fine.
Okay, we don't have
to play it all out.
I just wanted to make sure
that I didn't forget
to mention it.
How about Bear?
No, no.
Of course.
Both of you are ill are ill yes we were attacked in the plague house and we have a we have the plague don't tell anyone okay keep it on the down perhaps if you both
could make donations to the sanctuary that would be wonderful absolutely it was anything anything Absolutely. Anything. Anything small. 55 platinum pieces.
Is it okay if it's covered in coal?
I scoff.
We had our whole collection plate.
55 platinum pieces.
Everything for the whole year was stolen.
Not but a month ago.
So if you ever find a bag of 55... I'm just making this up.
Lork is just like looking out.
He's doing the side long glance.
He's like,
I don't know what you're talking about.
That's really sad.
Give him five gold pieces.
For both of us.
Yeah.
I'm not giving five each.
Ten whole gold pieces.
Hey, look,
if you go to Bellevue
to the emergency room,
that's about what you'd pay.
Ten gold pieces?
Is it 500 bucks?
Yeah,
that's like 500 bucks do you have true now
in health insurance don't don't these people have some sort of uh an oath we have to take
we have we have someone who works at the sanctuary here don't i get i've volunteered at the sanctuary
for months i've never seen people who just found hundreds of gold pieces and 55 platinum pieces
scribble over giving us five can't you cop me this one time?
Oh, boy.
Come on, man.
No, we'll give you,
we'll give you the,
we'll give you 10.
For both.
I just said it was a donation.
Here, you're healed.
Bye.
There are most clerics
who like to haggle.
This cleric's like NPR
during donation season.
Meanwhile, Hauger's like,PR during donation season. Meanwhile,
Halgrist's like,
you guys done?
Sorry,
I didn't want to give you
the filth fever.
I just want my,
I'm just waiting
for my tote bag
for my donation.
As soon as I get my tote bag,
we're out.
We're gone.
A two DVD set of Wicked.
Gentlemen,
ma'am,
I don't mean to be rude,
but it's a very busy time for us.
Can I help you?
Helga, we'd never call you in on a matter of less import.
We have reason to believe there is an imminent attack on the city,
an organized attack.
And what makes you think that?
We have a prisoner.
His name is Daktani.
I don't know if you know him from Trinale, but I've seen him around.
He's been talking to an orc.
Is it an orc or is it a half-orc, Screed?
Screed.
I think he's an orc, right?
Is he an orc?
No, well, Daktani told you it was a half-orc.
Okay.
A half-orc named Screed who's been used in the Plague House as a meeting place
with trolls and orcs
and half orcs
and all manner
of ill folk
like myself.
And all this
is connected
to Roderick's death.
Well,
we don't know
that 100%.
Roderick's death,
he was a suicide.
Roderick's death,
Algra was not
a suicide.
We have evidence.
We found oil
of Taggart
in the man's wounds.
He was paralyzed
before he was killed.
Okay, okay.
All right.
This is a lot of information.
I find this fascinating,
but this is news
that you need to tell
to
Jegrin.
I agree.
So,
let's do that.
Okay.
But not now.
Why not?
We'll talk to him tomorrow before the funeral.
But the town's defense is still paramount, is it not?
You said it wasn't imminent.
We don't know.
Specifically said it was imminent.
Imminent, like it's happening tonight?
We don't know.
We have to increase our defenses.
Well, we've been here for a long time
And we've always fought off every
Battle
I can't imagine
This one would be any worse
But these things you speak of
Are quite disturbing
Yes I am chief defender
But this is
Jagrin's
Area of expertise
Sense motive
He needs to know this
Fifteen
I'll do the same
Ooh Sense motive. He needs to know this. Fifteen. I'll do the same.
Ooh.
Nineteen.
Eighteen.
Thirteen.
Another number.
Yeah, no, it was, this is a job for the patrol leader.
Yeah, okay.
I mean, I totally get that.
Yeah.
But we don't get any sense that she's like in on it. Right, no, no, okay. I mean, I totally get that. Yeah. But we don't get any sense that she's in on it.
Right, no, no, no. You think she's just like, she's interested,
but she's a little out of her league with this.
Like, she's more of a figure.
And in general, this woman, Halgra,
she's got a rough demeanor,
and some people might not like her methods,
but she's generally think to have thought
to have the town's best interest in mind.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
She's also known to have lots of kids. Right, from half-orcs. From half-orcs and stuff. She was an adventurer. She's very open-minded. Oh, yeah, absolutely. She's also known to have lots of kids from half-orcs and stuff.
She was an adventurer.
She's very open-minded.
Yeah, she's an open-minded girl, but people love her and respect her.
She's not, this is for Jagrin.
Your old buddy, Jagrin.
Well, Hagra, congrats on Ruby,
and why don't you get home and take care of her.
Thank you, thank you.
And I know my voice sounds like a man,
but I didn't want to do a woman voice.
Hey,
Hey,
one last thing.
Yes.
Don't leave town.
Don't tell Hagrid.
This is,
this is my town.
That's why I was saying not to leave.
Because you have,
we just highly recommend it.
Don't read into it.
Don't read into it.
Didn't you say there was an attack imminent?
Maybe you should leave.
See you guys at the funeral.
All right, see you tomorrow.
All right.
Should we rest before we go to the longhouse,
or should we go to the longhouse tonight and tell Jagrin?
It's pretty imminent, but it is the day before the funeral.
We could go to the funeral and talk to him,
and maybe he'd be more receptive
maybe some grieving i don't know either way i think it'll be fine but it's up to you if you
want to time it after he's grieved his son at the funeral or uh i just want to cover our asses like
i don't want to like not have told everybody we needed to tell
because we're retiring.
Yeah, I just think that it would be the perfect time
to attack the village.
It's exactly at Roderick's funeral.
Medigaming for a minute, I have a really bad feeling
about what's going to happen at that funeral.
Right, right.
Well, no, Orc thinks, I mean, he, more than anybody,
does not want to have an audience with Jagrin,
and he knows Jagrin is not going to believe him
and not going to trust him to a certain extent.
But he feels like, like you said, covering your ass.
He's got to do his part.
He doesn't want to have that sort of guilt laying over him
that he didn't try to increase the defenses of the city.
Well, we have the prisoner, too.
We also have two pass here,
which is we can play up his racism
and bring in Daktani and be like,
look, we got this filthy orc.
He's, you know, we got to punish him.
We got to get ready for this attack.
Or we can try to change his mind on half orcs a little bit
by seeing, look, this good orc
that cares about the town, Lork,
is helping and not all orcs are the same, and maybe he'll become warmer
and more open to the side if we do that.
Yeah, I mean, it could go either way.
I'm nervous that he might not trust my word.
He might think that I'm trying to misappropriate their defenses
at the wrong time to open it up, whatever.
The one thing about the funeral is you would assume everyone would be there too,
like Catrezra, Sarah, everybody would probably be there.
Yeah, but I think that there'd be a lot of militia.
Yeah, and I think there'd be a lot of militia
standing down during that time,
doing an honorary funeral kind of thing.
We should try to ask him to keep
at least a handful of militia on each gate.
You know what it is to me?
My comparison as a player,
it's like a like a death
threat or a bomb threat at like somebody's funeral it's like you have to continue with it but like
you have to like at least tell people you can't not tell them so like if people at least know
then you've covered your ass like you said so um i think i think we talked to jacqueline immediately
i agree let's do it you coming up you're gonna to come up And be a Half orc about it?
Yeah I mean
I'll go right to them
Like just because
I'm an employee
And I'm a militia
And granted
I've not done my job
For the last day and a half
At all
Kind of pieced on that
Without calling out sick
So we're heading to
Jagrin
Heading to the long house
We still have this
Kid with us by the way
We should probably
Drop him off at home.
Can I leave? Yes.
I didn't know you were still there.
We untie him and let him go.
I really think this was unnecessary.
I'll come round soon. Play more Go Fish.
I'm going back to the
plague house.
I'll come round soon.
We can knock on Curse's door first
and have him lead him up to his dad, maybe.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's true.
So you guys go to
Longhouse.
They lead you to
Curse's room.
Curse greets you
and says,
oh, you want to
talk to my father?
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
So he brings you
up to a room
and knocks on
the door.
I've been dreading this.
Come in!
And he opens the door, and there's a fireplace,
and Jigrin is sitting behind a desk in this longer room.
What does he look like?
Who's playing Jigrin?
He kind of looks like Paul Giamatti.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
Really untrustworthy.
He's bald with mutton chops.
Yeah, okay.
Does he have a creepy bear rug or like moose heads on the wall?
Yeah, what's the room like?
It's pretty sparsely decorated.
No frills.
Is there stuff around, like books or weapons?
No, there's a weapon, his long sword on the wall
and his armor hanging on a pin, but he's just sitting there writing.
Is it masterwork?
You can ask him.
I won't.
He looks up.
He's like, what?
Cursed?
What is it?
Oh.
Can I help you?
Jagrin, I don't mean to disturb you,
but we have information that there's an attack is coming on the town,
Jagrin, An organized attack
from Orcs.
It's funny that I'm the one sitting behind the desk
this time.
It's true.
What's his title?
Captain?
Patrol leader.
It's true, patrol leader.
I was there.
My son tells me you were
investigating Roderick's death.
I thought it was a suicide.
It was.
It was absolutely a murder.
No question.
How do you know?
We found oil of Taggart in his bloodstream.
It's a paralytic agent.
He was paralyzed before he was killed.
Made to look like a suicide. He lets out a long sigh. He was paralyzed before he was killed.
Made to look like a suicide.
He lets out a long sigh.
He's like, well, at least we know Roderick didn't disgrace himself with an unnecessary suicide.
Tell me more about this attack.
Do we still have the prisoner with us, by the way?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not with you right now, but he's in the jails.
Yeah, no, he's in the jails.
I would say we could point you in there if we need to.
I heard about this half-orc that you brought in, one of our locals. In investigating Roderick's murder, patrol leader,
we were led to the plague house as a possible source of his the shady business that led to his
death and we
had reason to believe that
something that Roderick was investigating
on his own there might have led to his
murder.
So in investigating the plague house we found
this half-orc there who told us that it
had been used as a headquarters
by orcs
orchestrating an attack.
I see.
Well, for an attack of that magnitude to take on us, to take on Trunau,
these enemies would have to signal for it.
And as long as my militia keeps guards stationed at the beacons around the city walls,
Trunau has very little to fear.
Even if these saboteurs signal an attack from outside of Trinow's walls without being detected,
the militia should have plenty of time to sound the alarm and close the gates.
This is good. I'm glad. I like to take information from all sources.
That would make me a good leader.
I appreciate the information.
I will make sure to keep extra patrols out, as it were.
But for the moment, I would like to spend some time honoring.
One last thing, Jigrin.
Yes.
It's not just a standard orc attack, as you've seen in the past.
Uh-huh.
They're collaborating with trolls.
Flood trolls.
Flood trolls.
Flood trolls don't come down this far south.
Hydrogren, remember me?
Uh, no.
A long time ago.
Lived in this town.
You haven't aged well.
We killed one. A flood troll.
At the
plague house. And we know
there is another one
coordinating their efforts to help with
the attack. With all due respect, if the
likes of you four killed a
flood troll, whatever
it's doing this far down,
I think my militia will be able to handle
any that come this way.
With all due respect.
I would like to also...
Yes? I pray you're right.
Well, you are the cleric.
And in the vein of all due
respect, I would like to take
these last few moments
before my son's funeral to honor his memory.
Thank you for the information that it was not a death,
a suicide, rather,
and I will keep extra guards on watch for this attack.
Thank you for taking the time.
I appreciate it.
And Lork sort of, like, backs out of the room.
So if you need any spiritual guidance. I appreciate it. And Lork sort of like backs out of the room. So if you need any
spiritual guidance,
I'm available.
I don't believe in that rubbish.
To hear your confession.
But,
damn it,
how do you,
how do you know?
Okay, so you guys,
you guys leave.
Curse is like,
was, was,
how'd it go? Was he cool? He was surprisingly cool. Curse is like, was Attica, was he cool?
He was surprisingly cool, Curse.
Good, good, good.
He said you're not getting an allowance for another month.
Oh, dagnabbit.
Old Curse could never get an allowance.
As you can imagine, I have a lot to prepare for my brother's funeral,
so I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow.
We'll see you tomorrow,
Kirst. Hey, try to get some
rest. I'll try, but you
guys kind of keep bothering
me.
See ya.
You did ask us to help
you. Yeah, I'm sorry we keep troubling
you with evidence about your brother's murder
after you asked us specifically to investigate it. i told you guys i'm not a good investigator
i don't know how this works so uh are we gonna head back to get rest yeah i think yeah we need
full rest back to room 28 if everyone goes to get rest and does that i'm gonna head over to the
local tavern before bedtime. Okay.
So you guys head back to... Ramble House?
The old Ramble House.
Who's carrying the gold now?
I think we've split it up between us.
Great.
So let me know when I'm at the tavern.
You're there.
So I walk up to the barkeep.
Baron goes up And says
Say there friend
I'd like a glass of
Sarsaparilla
I'm sorry
I don't speak dwarf
It's common
Belgian Sarsaparilla
I'll have an ale please
Oh an ale
Sure yes here you are
And I say
This is mighty fine
You might
not happen to have yourself a
spare brewer's kit back
there, would you? As a matter of
fact, I do.
You got
the coin for it? Yes.
All right.
It's 25 gold pieces.
That'll be 25 gold pieces.
Pleasure doing business with you.
For you, you look like an honest fella,
25 gold pieces.
Oh, okay.
And then I also say,
so for crafting in this,
are we going to do,
we need to have the recipe parts
or just the gold value for them?
That's a great question.
You have to ask your DM when he has time to look up the rules.
Again, I'm talking.
He's not talking to the guy.
I'm not asking.
That's great.
That's just whimsical and wonderful.
Look at this before episode 12.
Hell of a question there, dwarf.
Got to go pour some more ales.
I basically want to start brewing something with this brewer's kit, so...
Well, home brewing is the fastest growing business in all of Trinale.
I'm a dwarf and craft brewer.
I have a little...
Well, anything I brew, no matter how big the business,
would be a micro-brew as a dwarf.
But I wonder if...
Skid writing your jokes.
I personally like Skid's jokes.
They're the best.
I basically, you know, we'll figure it out later but I'm
it'll take me a week
to brew anything
so I can wait
alright so we have time
but you
yeah
you're the first
to purchase something
do do do do
um
Lork you're
awoken in the night
by the sound of a
drunken dwarf
stumbling into the room
oh yeah
I wanted to say
I'm not there
oh you didn't go
I'm the only one
I go home
you go home yeah You go home?
Yeah, home, home.
Are we splitting the party?
Yeah, we're splitting the party.
Do you go back to your mountain cave?
Nah, I'll stick around.
So long as I'm getting a free room at the rebel house.
Okay, so it's the next day.
And do you guys want to do any shopping before you head to the funeral?
I would also like to buy a portable alchemy kit.
I don't have a crossbow.
I'd like to get a crossbow.
You can't use that Master of Arcane crossbow?
I can't.
No.
It's an exotic.
Oh, that's exotic.
Do you want to do this?
You want to do this on the shopping?
I don't know why I even offered it.
We'll do it between episodes.
Yeah, we can.
So yeah, we'll...
Probably more interesting.
Even if something happens between episodes
where you wouldn't be able to go shopping,
let's say that the shopping that you're doing now
we'll do between episodes.
Okay.
That's fair, right?
Even if we're at the bottom of a dungeon, right?
Totally.
We can still go shopping.
Right.
The only thing you can't do is rest.
Okay.
Okay, so you're at the funeral
and you're at the area of town known as the
flame of the fallen be sure to check out our tumblr glasscanonpodcast.tumblr.com and you
will see a map of true now and you'll see right where the flame of the fallen is uh and it is a
rather somber affair um as roderick's funeral is taking place just before sunset.
You see Cursed there.
You see Jagrin.
You see Brynja,
noticeably far away from Jagrin,
obviously keeping her distance,
but she's there.
You also see Catrezra,
and you see Omast kind of stumbling about,
but he's there,
like crying and laughing, being a little too loud.
He's that guy at the funeral.
Because he's back drinking again.
Yep.
And High Priestess Tayari Varvedos is officiating the ceremony.
And you guys see this all go down.
Lork, you've seen this happen before.
And Gormley, you remember these type of ceremonies
back before you moved to your
mountain cave.
Tayari consecrates the flame
with sacred herbs, like chanting
Zamba, Shamba,
Yomadai, Labdudi, Babuda.
And she
takes Roderick's Hope Knife, which
Cursed gave to her for the
ceremony, and performs the traditional re-quenching of the deceased's hope knife into the flame.
And she kind of like holds her hand directly in the flame and is in harm by it.
And the hope knife stands in there.
Holy shit.
And then she pulls it out.
Is this some
sort of fantasy world?
It comes out and the blade
is pure black.
And once the
ritual is over, she hands the dagger
to Brynja.
Whoa.
As is tradition. So the town is accepting
this. Not necessarily,
but that is the tradition.
Well, you know, they accept Palgrew, so.
Gives it to the grieving fiancé.
Jagrin nods at you, and nods at you as well, Lork.
Keeping a watch.
You notice that there are a couple more guards around,
but not as much as you'd probably like,
based on how strongly you felt about this imminent attack.
But, you know, maybe it's just for show,
but you do see a couple more people.
And then the orcs attack.
The funeral's over.
The funeral ends.
And yeah, people just start to disperse
and you guys are left there
kind of alone at the flame of the fallen and
it's a it's it's kind of a a moment of hmm wow we just kind of a couple days ago we were at a
celebration for a child's birth and now a few days later we're at this very very sad funeral
for a deceased member an important member of the community,
and you see how everyone was so overjoyed
and now those same people feel so broken.
And knowing what you know
and knowing that there's some other stuff going on,
it's kind of a weird place for you guys to be.
So you feel very sad.
You also feel very close at the same time, the four of you,
even weird little Gormley and Howie.
Oh, yeah.
No, I mean, I definitely feel closer to these guys,
to Gormley, Calabros, even Baron.
Because that was messed up there.
Lork was like, I'm going to die.
He had a little bit of an embarrassing moment
in front of these people.
So he was a little vulnerable.
Baron has since purchased a new pair of underpants for Lork
when he shat himself at his imminent death.
Being flanked by a shadow rat.
It wasn't my best moment.
It wasn't my best moment.
I never run away, but I might want to run away.
All right, shut up.
So is there a talk at this funeral?
Like, I'm just wondering how pervasive the rumor is
that he was murdered versus suicide.
Like, does everybody think it was a suicide,
or is Jagrin, like, trying to wash away this rumor
that it was, like, a suicide that was misinterpreted and thus weak.
Like as if he was like, oh, I'm kind of scared it might be an orc.
I think Jagrin hoped that it wasn't, but Jagrin's pretty much,
well, the facts are, walked in, it was pretty clear evidence of suicide.
Our militia went in and investigated, didn't find any other evidence,
so it was suicide.
So he was relieved for you guys to give him all this evidence,
now he knows it wasn't, he knows his son didn't find any other evidence, so it was suicide. So he was relieved for you guys to give him all this evidence. Now he knows it wasn't.
He knows his son didn't disgrace himself.
Is he going to publicize that?
Or is he keeping it on the DL?
The funeral was not the proper time to be like,
he was murdered!
During the eulogy.
It is a small...
By the way, folks, Gormley gets up there.
Is this on?
He was murdered.
It wasn't a suicide.
Try the cheese uh so you know it's the type of
thing where true now is such a close-knit community it won't take long for the word to spread um which
is they may not want like people to know oh there's killers in this town yeah can i uh would
it be possible for lord to is it relevant at all for Lork to do a perception check or a sense motive check or anything?
Like, Lork is basically looking around at other half-orcs for, like, anyone that's looking suspicious or might be part of this plot to, like, an inside player in allowing this attack to happen.
Straight up racial profiling.
Yeah, totally.
in allowing this straight up racial profiling yeah totally and you know and he's part of he's part of the race obviously but he after the way this guy talked about it like look you know don't
they don't treat us this way and blah blah and like lork knows like we you know we get treated
like shit but he also he's been out you know in the field and he knows the way like wild orcs are
and there's no concept of order there's no like being nice to you just because you're an orc like you know it's a constant struggle of of just murder and death and chaos and so like he he's
like i'll take this like i'll take this like you know dislike or hate or whatever but at least
there's some system of order to it where like you know you're not just going to get murdered just
because somebody said the wrong thing or you bumped into the wrong person at the wrong time. And you understand probably that most orcs don't have a relatively cushy job
behind a desk with the militia.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
They might have a much worse place within True Now,
so you also know that there are probably other orcs that sympathize with Doc Townie.
Right.
And Lork, I mean, he's got a little bit of a back story
that hasn't fully come out yet,
but he has a criminal background
because he was raised on the streets
and he was raised in a bad way
and he lashed out and he served his time.
And part of his time was doing this giant hunting
and all that kind of stuff.
So it's like, think of it like Game of Thrones,
like being sent to the wall. It was that kind of thing where he's sent
to just like throw himself at the threat of giants and and trolls and stuff like that uh and he did
that for a while until he was you know injured and really couldn't continue at that time so like
there is this you know he has this violent past he knows where that comes from but he also knows
that this given the alternative is better and he's just trying to eye up these half orcs that might be
you know by their very appearance like showing that they're they don't buy in they're not into
the society and then they want to see it overrun the bottom line is there's no role you can do
that's true but i just wanted to get it i just want to get a little peek into lork's thoughts
yeah so you want to roll a perception?
That was your original thought
Yeah, it's a perception or sense motive
Whatever you wanted me to do
To look around at these faces
See if anybody's shifty looking
Or is calling in coordinates
I don't know
Right, everyone roll a perception
24
Unless it's stonework And and then I got a 26.
18.
Are there any stone golems in the crowd?
Are there any secret doors in the funeral?
Yes.
In the casket.
Six feet.
What'd you say?
Nine for Gormley.
18 for Lork.
23 for Gormley.
Ooh.
24.
Gala Brass.
So Gormley is just kind of... She's petting Howie.
The gravity of the funeral didn't affect Gormley maybe as much as everyone else,
so she's petting Howie.
My precious.
Meanwhile, Lork and Baron and Galabras,
it's that moment where everything feels just a little too quiet.
You're at this area in town, the Flame of the Fallen,
where everyone dispersed from the funeral,
and there's just this eerie thickness in the air.
And meanwhile, the sun is just starting to set in the sky.
And you look around, and you do see half-orcs.
And you think about this rumor that you've heard,
that there's been more half-orcs in town than normal.
Yeah, they've been all over.
Usually, and it's this moment like Godfather 2,
or no, Godfather 1, when Michael is in Italy,
and he's teaching Apollonia to drive,
and he's got his two bodyguards, and Michael comes out, and he's teaching Apollonia to drive and he's got his two bodyguards and Michael comes out
and he talks to one guy
he's like hey where's Apollonia
she's going to pull the car around
she wants to show you that she knows how to drive
she'll make a great American wife
she'll make a great American wife
and then he goes out and sees one of the bodyguards
sort of skulking away
and he's like where are you going?
You get that sense.
Each one of you sees a half-orc
kind of look at you sideways
and quickly skulk away.
Apollonia, no!
Apollonia, no!
I love that comparison. That's so good.
That's pretty good. All of a sudden this
all too peaceful moment
is shattered by the brazen call of signal horns.
Do-do-do-do!
Do-do-do-do!
And then you can hear, coming from the lower quarter,
back where Lork lives,
you hear screams and shouts.
Oh, shit.
And then up in the air, above the city,
you see this giant boulder come flying in. Oh, shit. And then up in the air, above the city, you see this giant boulder come flying in.
Oh, shit.
And crash into one of the towers
that guards the inner wall,
and the tower collapses.
Shut up.
The battle for Bloodmarch Hill has begun.
Oh, my God.
And True Now is under attack.
Okay, well, I go to... Are we stopping?
No.
I love, by the way,
that Jagren looked at us like 9-11
truthers and then this attack happened.
Actually,
we could stop here.
What were you going to say?
I was going to say,
I'm going to go to the
thing and stop the battle from happening.
Jesus.
That's a way better ending.
That is a way better.
There it is.
We'll see you next time.
Battle of Blood March.
Yeah.
That was awesome.
Can I go to the thing? That thing and stop the battle from happening
I love it