The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 115 - There's Something About Beary
Episode Date: August 8, 2017A heartbreaking loss resonates throughout the party as the quest to relight Minderhal's Forge continues. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member ...of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast.
It's a sad day. We've all had a week to mourn.
Troy honors the life of a trusted friend.
Alright, so you bury it, you say your prayers.
It? Really?
But the bereaved must carry on.
South we go. Agreed.
South it is.
Until a baffling mystery.
You do not see any temple or any village.
What?
And a shocking revelation.
Oh my god!
Stops the journey in its tracks.
Well, end of the line.
Yeah, really, time to turn home.
The adventure gets impossible.
This is an amazing role-playing moment here.
This is absurd!
Right now. What's up, everybody? It's your boy, T-Razzle Dazzle, as no one calls me.
Troy LaVallee coming at you, lover of animal companions far and wide.
Oh, man. I know you guys are mad at me, but what can I do? I've got a story
to tell and I've got to put my PCs in impossible situations sometimes. I know, it sucks. Who'd have
thunk that there would be so much outpouring of love and affection for a fictional bear that we
haven't seen in 30 plus episodes? Well, rest in peace, Barry. We hardly knew ye.
I can't believe that we are just about a week away
from my first Gen Con!
From everything I've read, Gen Con is just overwhelming,
and I, for one, cannot wait to be overwhelmed.
I want a game. I want to meet people.
I want to hang out. I want to play games that I've never played before.
I just can't even wait.
I'm nervous. I'm scared. I'm excited. And I can't wait to meet all of you guys as well. Hopefully
everybody can come to our event. If you got one of the tickets, that's six to eight on Thursday
night, the first night of Gen Con. Make sure you come out to that. And you know what? If you didn't
get a ticket, come by anyways, because for one thing, most people don't show up to things they
get tickets for, especially if the tickets are free. And secondly, maybe we can just cram everybody in there and break all the fire codes,
cause a big uproar, and then people will be like,
what is this Glass Cannon podcast?
So make sure you come to that.
And then we're all going to walk over to Slippery Noodle afterwards
and stay there until the police come.
So please come out to those events.
And then Friday morning, if you got one of the tickets to our PFS games,
a lot of you are wondering, well, how's this going to work?
Well, these are unsanctioned games.
We're not running with your characters or anything like that.
We're going to hand out fourth-level pregens for you to play.
And Grant, Joe, Skid, and myself are all running the same scenario with a couple interesting twists.
And we're just going to randomly put people at tables and sit down and start gaming.
So all you need to do is show up with a pencil, some dice, and your imagination,
and we're going to have a good time. Make sure you follow us on social media because Facebook and Twitter is where we're going to post what we're doing, when we're doing it, where it's
happening. So if you're there live, you can be like, oh my god, I got to run over to this building
in order to see my good buddy Troy. So make sure you follow us there. And speaking of social media,
if you saw yesterday, we launched a brand new contest where we're looking for designers to design an original Keswick family crest.
We put up a very mundane version of the crest, and we want to see where the artists are out there who can take that crest to the next level to be used on future glass-canned merchandise.
So get submitting. I can't wait to see what you got.
Guys, I've got nothing left to say.
I have characters and animal companions to kill,
so I can't waste time in this intro.
Here she is, episode 115,
and I'll see you at Gen Con.
Back in episode 50,
as the party mourned the death
of a witch and a wolverine.
And then went deeper into the Vault of Thorns.
A friendly little bear cub popped up.
Soon thereafter, they'd meet a girl stuck in a tree.
But that little bear cub
ended up being a friend to many.
Not just Lork.
But I think you could say that bear touched the lives of
everyone he came in contact with.
Sure, he had some controversial views.
He had some controversial views.
But now was neither the time nor place to judge his character.
Because at the end of the day,
he was there for you when you needed him.
And he was there for a little crooning
to lift your spirits from time to time.
And... And for a lot of staying out of combat.
For a lot of, yes.
Barry, stay.
Nobody stayed like Barry.
But now, I hate you all.
Barry Connick Jr. is dead.
It's a sad day.
We've all had a week to mourn joe are you how are you feeling now are you still
uh violently upset with me no i'm feeling better i'm feeling better yeah i'm i'm i'm
repurposing that anger into looking forward looking for what's going to be great coming up
what's going to be great coming up.
Good.
Use your anger.
Repurpose your anger.
Oh, boy.
I mean, I think everybody's smart. The listeners.
I was thinking, thinking like obviously Sir Will
had his moment there, but Sir Will doesn't know
Barry. You know what I mean?
Della and Baron are going to be the ones most
affected by this.
So I'm not going to do too much
bullshit up front. Sure, sure.
I mean, I understand that, but also don't
underestimate
the capacity
of Sir Will's tiny heart for love.
And as a paladin, he hates killing things.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
He got something back.
He got something back, baby.
So you're basically a glorified masseuse now that you can lay on hands?
Is that what you are?
I'm just saying you don't have to know Barry to feel bad about Barry.
Sure. I mean, if you want to have to know Barry to feel bad about Barry. Sure.
I mean, if you want to be a pissing contest about who feels worse.
I think Barry feels the worst.
Yeah, I would say Barry would be a top.
Well, he can't feel anymore, though.
And then Della Baron and Sir Will all feel the same.
So we never realized that it was him.
Or did we?
Well, at the end, you found a locket with a black arrow on it.
Oh, that's right.
And then Dellaellen Baron immediately knew.
Right.
So let's just go right into this moment of Sir Will, you know, over the body.
Dellen Baron having their moment of recognition of who this is.
And as Sir Will leans over the deceased body, He feels a glowing heavenly power in his hands.
Well, everything's better now.
It's like thrilling for Sir Will.
I mean, that is crazy.
There's this connection again to his deity.
I mean, it's got to be an actual,
it's like seeing an actual physical manifestation of the grace of your own God.
Right.
And then,
and then feeling it and having it come at this time at this creature,
you know,
after coming out of all those dark tunnels and getting away from the
cathedral and everything,
I think that he's,
I mean,
he's overwhelmed with the euphoria.
I think of,
of that feeling of connection to your god.
And Barry helped to facilitate that in a way.
And I think it's just because
Sir Will came to a realization,
looking at him,
about creatures that are taken in by evil.
This is what can happen.
Corrupted.
Exactly.
Corrupted by evil.
And he sees the path that he was heading down or could
be heading down and this is what he's trying to avoid he knows how difficult it is but this is
such a such a moment of clarity for him feeling that connection to his god come from this bear
there's something special about this bear to him at this moment.
What is Della feeling in all this?
Because what I just heard is...
Selfishness?
No, what I just heard was kind of a description
of what's happening to Della,
happened to this poor bear, in a way.
Do you see it that way?
Not at all.
No?
You don't see Della as being corrupted?
I don't see her working for a master
that did some sort of corrupting.
Sure, sure, sure.
How she's feeling about Barry is
I think she's very upset.
I can't remember how much I got into this
last week, but how many
years and years and years of unending
day was
Barry one of the only creatures that Della
could see? We talked a little bit about that, yeah.
Yeah, so I think it's... He was
one of your few companions,
yeah, for however many years.
However many centuries,
whatever it was, we don't know.
She spent down there. If Barry
was also there that whole time.
Right, he's only a cub. Right.
But was he, like, frozen in time the way you were?
That's a good point.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I think she's...
I mean, he could have been.
He had a lot of time to, like, read Lyndon LaRouche pamphlets and stuff.
Yeah.
And, you know, you were a different person then when you first
when you were with Lork and you were with
Baron and Galabras
obviously the influence of Galabras
had its mark on you
and so this has to
it has to bring you back
a little bit I would think
mentally
do you feel nostalgia what do you feel
sadness do you feel bad for Lork?
I mean, yes, but I think she just feels
this unbearable
grief for Barry.
And I mean, the fact
that he's not only has he been
retrained and brainwashed for evil, but he's also
like, as we point out, been
tortured. Yeah.
Brutalized and starved.
Let me ask you this.
Do you think you're going to tell Lork?
Oh, absolutely not.
What about you, Baron?
Now, Baron, you've been there since the beginning with him as well.
You've seen people in this group come and go.
Are you going to tell Lork?
Does he deserve that?
The thing that complicates it for me is that I'm not sure how he's going to
take it based on his curse.
And he's going to take it as another sign that the curse is real.
And I hope it wouldn't make him lose hope.
Um,
but I,
I think,
I think we're talking about a little bit.
Um,
I think he may have already felt,
you know,
in a forced like way,
very spirit leaving the world.
Um,
so I think as an inquisitor who's always out there for the truth,
um, the truth shall set you free no matter how painful it may be
I think I'll tell them
what could it help?
it's not my place to
you know
it's happened
it's done
we don't know the circumstances
by which they parted either
it's true
right
I'm sure there was a little talk of what went down,
but you didn't have a ton of time to get into a lot of detail.
You guys only really spent that one night together
up in the Dragon's Roost.
I think it might motivate him,
and it might, you know, getting...
To walk again?
Yeah.
To kill Mr.
No,
but it'll,
it'll motivate him perhaps to hold on to get a sense of it.
I'm hoping it'll give him a sense of vengeance that won't get too evil and
into demon's blood like Della,
but,
um,
maybe it'll just give them something to hold on to.
So he can eventually get revenge once we have healing capacity to,
or,
you know,
someone who's really good with wood shaving so he can get wooden
feet and he can clop around or something.
Prosthetics.
Imagine on the other side of the valley.
By the way, like, while everyone's standing around
mourning and realizing what's
happening, Nestor kind of
comes up and, sorry, excuse me,
and he comes up and, like, pulls his arrows out of the bear.
No, carry on.
Just look at these.
I snapped them already.
Oh, you did?
Yeah, last episode.
Oh, okay.
So, you owe me for those arrows, by the way.
I know everyone's mourning it's a bear or whatever,
but there's like five silver pieces each or something.
Della just reaches down into her pocket
and just throws the silver at his head.
Oh, you know what?
I can get the arrowhead still.
Those are the best parts, so I'll still win.
Oh, my God.
Those are the best part.
So now I imagine on the other side of the valley,
through the dark passage,
out and under the gate surrounding the dark passage out and under
the gate surrounding the cathedral
of Minderhall in this
invisible
sanctuary that's been created
sits Pembroke,
Lork, Aram,
and Ymir. And
Rasmutas. And
Rasmutas.
How could you forget?
And Aram puts his hand on Ymir's leg.
He's like, brother, there's something wrong with the half-orc.
And Pembroke, you hear this as well. And Lork, you just feel this pain out of nowhere
hit you right between your heart and your solar plexus
like something has been ripped from you.
Pembroke comes over and says,
My friend, are you in pain? What's happened?
I don't know.
Ow.
My chest.
It's...
Something's wrong.
Something might be wrong with the group.
I can't explain it.
It struck me like...
Like some sort of providence.
Something's happening.
We can't continue
to lay around here. We have to get
moving somehow. But damn it.
Damn it. It's all right.
It's all right. They can take care of themselves.
They'll be all right.
We need to find a way to
get you well, my friend.
And then...
then we shall have vengeance.
These exercises you've been having me do, they're not...
They're not working.
We're not making any progress.
Patience.
I know it is difficult.
My friend, you must have patience.
We'll find a way.
And Aram is... It like, I'm sorry.
I wish I had the powers that our father had to heal you.
If there's anything Ymir or I could do to ease your suffering, we would.
Yeah, and I just imagine that Lork isn't...
I mean, not as much as a week ago or two weeks ago but
he just must be in pain all day you know just like in pain all day long yeah i can't imagine
i mean oh yeah like that ghost limb feeling too yeah yeah and it's got to be driving him crazy
so when i think about exercises it's not just like physical stuff. I think Pembroke is also probably helping him through meditation.
Yeah, deal with the loss of limb.
Right, exactly.
But now it feels like he's lost another limb.
Right.
And he can't explain it.
Yeah, it must feel kind of the same way as when you lost your feet.
I can't explain it.
It feels like I've lost another one.
Like I've lost my hand. But I'm looking at them and they're here. I don't know it. It feels like I've lost another one. Like I've lost my hand.
But I'm looking at them and they're here. I don't know what it is.
Resmond Tess, please, go fetch some water.
All right, where should I go? To that tent?
Just leave the tent for a moment.
All right, I'll be right back.
I'm sure no one will notice me with my red hat.
I'll be back in a second. I right, I'll be right back. I'm sure no one will notice me with my red hat. I'll be back
in a second.
I'm very stealthy.
Five seconds later,
I found some water!
Keep your voice down.
All right,
sorry.
And Ymir just puts
his hand on
your shoulder,
Lork,
and is like,
I know you do not worship Abadar,
but we will pray for you,
and you should pray to your god as well.
And all I can say is just have faith.
Have faith in your friends.
Find faith in your god,
and we will pray for you as well.
Find faith in your God, and we will pray for you as well.
And then it zooms back out.
Time has passed now.
And you guys can do whatever you want in this ancient ruins of a slag giant village.
So I think we should just thoroughly examine this place.
Search the bodies.
Search the bodies, certainly.
And then it looks like this place has been kind of picked over a bit,
like that target in Brooklyn.
But I think we should still see if there's anything left. So we hit Russia target, as my friends call it.
Yeah.
Just onions and toilet paper when you get there.
Sure.
But also the stuff that they were going to take to Urathash, right?
They were talking about something.
Yeah, he says, I don't care if it looks like junk.
Urathash wants it.
Whatever's here, bones, scrap, metal, anything.
Well, we'll try to figure out what the deal is here.
If there's any story we can piece together.
Maybe they're carrying orders. I don't know if
Urathasha's an overly bureaucratic
leader that might put things into writing.
Perhaps.
All three of the giants
carry large sacks
bulging
with what appears to be an odd
variety of collected items.
Assuming you go through them.
We do.
Most of them contain this stuff that you overheard, just junk.
Shards of pottery, rusted iron nails, broken giant-sized tools,
and stray bits of metal and other junk.
sized tools, and stray bits of metal and other junk.
One of the ogre's bags also contains a dozen badly oxidized giant-sized silver coins.
I'm sure it would be worth something to a collector of giant relics.
The other ogre's sack holds an ancient necklace.
It appears to be made from leather, steel rings, and direbore tusks.
Cormug, who you don't know his name, he doesn't have a journal.
Does he have a wallet?
Deadgut, comic comic. He doesn't have a driver's license, but he has a state-issued ID.
So that's what a main license looks like.
Oh, he's an organ donor.
Be sure to collect those.
Dear journal, I wish I had never been named Dead Gut.
Everyone's really mean to me at school.
I hate this name.
He has two bags.
The first contains a large iron bellows with torn leather gills, a set of masterwork ironworking tools, and three magical clay tablets.
Whoa.
But 15.
Ten commandments.
There's also a magical potion.
The second bag
Appears to have held his lunch
There's two dozen bruised apples
A five gallon barrel of
Probably sour beer
Baron recognizes immediately
And two smoked horse leg shanks
Nice
Most likely from Reginald
Oh god
Wait no
Are we talking like a prosciutto aging to these most likely from Reginald. Oh, God. Wait, no!
Are we talking like a prosciutto aging to these?
Beautifully marbled horse leg.
The marbling is what gives the flesh back.
And that is what you find.
Spellcraft the potion and the tablets. Sure.
Sir Will would like to attempt to spellcraft the tablets
and see
if he can.
You know? Like, see if he has
this sort of magical knowledge at all.
This is like when
Spider-Man tried to figure out all his powers
at the beginning of the first Tobey Maguire one.
Yeah.
His clarity of mind
can tell him anything about this.
17.
But does he feel like he even has a chance?
17, you see an aura of magic around him.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Oh, my God.
He's back, baby!
He's, like, feeling alive again.
Do you want touch of loss or are you good?
But you're not 100% sure what they say or what they are.
Sure.
Della, roll your spell card.
Touch of Law.
I'm going to touch of Law.
Oh, touch of Law, okay.
22.
22.
I can see it, Lexington.
These tablets are actually scrolls.
Oh.
Oh.
But they're like, they are like commandments.
So they're probably like ancient,
what the slag giant wizard used to cast spells.
Wow, that's cool.
I didn't even ever think of that.
That's awesome.
Or they had like parchment.
Yeah.
They didn't have parchment.
They just like etched it into chung, chung, chung, chung, chung.
And only a giant could carry around like a giant piece of stone.
Right, right.
Kind of like Geogrethir's notes about his life.
Yeah.
There's a scroll of knock, a scroll of pass wall,
and a scroll of stone shape.
Oh, cool.
Very cool.
There's a theme here.
And then the potion.
And then just rolling over the potion is a potion of bear's endurance.
Excellent.
Oh, how tragically ironic.
Ironically, I guess Barry shouldn't have.
Maybe he should have had a quick sip of that.
Can I do an appraise of the coins first?
Sure.
So looking at the coins, roll your appraise.
Oh, natural 20 on these new dice that I bought up in Boston.
Wow.
26. Okay, I'm going to do that for everything then.
All 12 coins are worth 50 gold
pieces each, and the necklace
is worth 250 gold. Nice.
It's got a pretty good haul
if you ever find a settlement or survive
that long.
Say that again? 200 gold pieces for the necklace?
No, 250 for the necklace,
50 times 12 for the
badly oxidized, giant-sized
silver coins.
And there's no need to detect magic on any of this, right?
You're just telling us one thing's magical.
I assume if you have detect magic, I would just tell you
that's magical.
Perfect.
And that's what you see.
So it's pretty clear they've been going through
this village and just taking what they could find.
Who knows if Cormug even knew those were magical scrolls.
He was just like, these look like something.
I'm going to just throw them in a bag.
You never know.
And obviously he had his lunch,
a lot of stuff that he's taking back to Urathash for some reason.
You went in that room, the chapter house,
and it had a bunch of like,
remember it had the patrol from Nirmathas and it had a bunch of like, remember it had the patrol from
Nirmathas? It had a bunch of weapons
and whatnot. So he's collecting
stuff from all
over the valley. This is like
in Raiders of the Lost Ark,
like Hitler is just going
around the world collecting all the occult items.
He's a nut on the subject. He's obsessed.
And Urthash is all about giant supremacy at the expense of everyone else.
Expense of the smaller peoples.
Okay, cool.
So should we take our fine-toothed comb over these ruins with our most beguiling, not beguiling, our best perception checks?
Sure.
So as I said last time,
mostly they're in ruins.
There's maybe one and a half, two buildings
that are still, you know,
that you can still enter into.
But this has probably been vacant for hundreds of years.
And are they stone?
Yes.
Yeah, they're clay and stone.
Gotcha.
Remember, they resemble beehives.
So, yeah, roll some perception checks.
Okay, I'm going to use my stone.
We need to take 20, right?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
If you want to hang out there and take 20.
Take a couple hours.
Yeah, you don't find anything else of interest.
If you're just walking around detecting magic and looking,
they seem to have picked it clean of anything magical,
which means they've been here for a while doing so.
But you can see, especially Baron, you study this,
and I imagine in Baron's mind he can envision exactly what this used to look like.
He can see when it was flourishing, And imagine these big slag giants like Farron
walking around and living in this society.
And you can imagine it being very prosperous.
They were master metallurgists.
So they probably supplied the rest of the valley
with tools, weapons, and armor.
Like this was the place you came to
if you lived in the valley
to get your stuff made.
Do we have any indication
of the name of this place?
No.
No, there's nothing resembling any
sort of, like, signpost.
Like, welcome to Slagtown.
While this is happening,
Della is going to study the tablet
that was the scroll of Bear's Endurance
and she's going to attempt to memorize it.
Or copy it into her spellbook.
Do you know the DC off the top of your head?
DC 17.
Okay.
So do you have an extra touch of a law or do you need me to roll for it?
I got plenty, dog.
He can never use them on himself.
Yeah, so.
If he touches a touch of a law as me, I can get it automatically.
Automatically, so you now know Bear's Endurance?
Yeah.
Nice.
Wow, that's great.
From a potion.
Scroll. Scroll. No, the Bear's Endurance
was a potion. Oh.
Yeah. Then no, then no, that doesn't work.
So forget that ever happened.
Forget that ever happened. Joe, that you're in it.
Oh,
Stone Shape was the other scroll. Sorry.
Can you get that? Can you take that?
I don't believe so. Stone shape!
Let's read about pass wall, because that's the only one I didn't know about.
It's pretty cool.
You create a passage through wooden, plaster, or stone walls, but not through metal or other
harder materials.
The passage is ten feet deep, plus an additional five feet deep, per three caster levels above
ninth.
Blah, blah, blah.
If the wall's thickness is more than the depth
of the passage created,
then a single pass wall simply makes
a niche or short tunnel.
So you can keep
casting's pass wall to tunnel
through something, like stack pass wall spells.
That's another spell that goes
back to original Dungeons and Dragons as well.
Della can't
learn it, but she can, however,
bring it back to Pembroke.
Ah, yes.
All of these are actually good. It's a fifth-level wizard
spell.
It's pretty interesting. If the pass
wall ever ends while you're in the middle of it, you just get shot
out to wherever it
ended. So probably back out if you didn't make it all
the way through. Very, very
cool.
So yeah, Baron,
piecing this together, you know,
piecing this together, you go back to where you guys fought the cave giants at Foxborough Stadium.
And you saw...
It's nowhere near Boston.
Some tunnels
went in deep. Some just kind of
wrapped around and come out in another tunnel.
Some looked like they went even deeper.
And you noticed a very similar thing when you came out of the Dark Passage.
Whereas most of those ones ended a few yards in, one of them looked like they went even deeper. And you notice a very similar thing when you came out of the dark passage, whereas most of those ones ended a few yards in.
One of them looked like it kept going.
So maybe these slag giants were digging mines or having slaves dig mines,
dwarf slaves dig mines, who knows, human slaves.
We've had some indication and inkling that that was the case.
And just exhausting the supplies of these mines.
And then maybe they dug too deep.
Too greedily and too deep.
Found the Darklands and got out of there.
But then, like, why did the dwarves take such ownership over those?
That doesn't seem slavish.
But it's just very interesting to understand this more.
And it probably makes you want to talk to Farron more and learn more about
slag giant history.
Fascinating.
No, if there was any indication of a potential giant dwarf alliance,
as alien as that could sound, just any possibility,
learning anything about this past,
but at the same time as Barron sees all this and can kind of, you know,
a slag giant ghost walks through him as
he sees it in his memory and he kind of prometheus right he shudders just to think of the idea of a
unified giant front like kind of regenerating their war machine and just trampling over the
little people and he's reinvigorated at the idea of disrupting this plan of urathash
but on the other hand like like slag giants stone giants are not inherently evil too right so i mean
that there is the possibility that they could have actually had an alliance with the dwarves
yep maybe stone giants are inherently evil aren't they no they're not they're not they're neutral
okay but who is fire? Almost every other giant.
But as long as Urthash and his master are kind of in charge of what the giants are doing...
Yeah, now, I mean, they're definitely being manipulated to evil purposes.
Do we know from our research thus far in the Valley and overhearing Urthash's speech,
do we know how the giants didn't just take over the world?
Like, how they came to be so obliterated in this area?
Like, did we ever figure out the answers to that?
Yeah, that's a good question.
Because it's like, how did that ever happen?
They're so much bigger and stronger than everyone.
If they were all here once, unifying once, making weapons and under Minderhall, what happened?
Did they start a land war in Asia?
In winter?
Did they invade Russia in winter?
Didn't we get some information about inviting?
Is that what it was?
And you could see that even as you were infiltrating the camps,
that the Stone Giants all had their own camp,
the Eddins all had their own camp.
They have to be separated.
So if they populated this valley,
they were probably like,
this is where the slag, this is where this,
and it was just very hard for them to unify.
But if they were to unify, it's game over.
And that's what the Storm Tyrant wants to do.
That's what his lieutenants are trying to make happen.
Same with the orcs.
Yep, same with the orcs. The orcs just can't come together, and that's what Grenzeldek was trying to make happen. Same with the orcs. Yep, same with the orcs.
The orcs just can't come together,
and that's what Grenzeldek was trying to do.
Let's build an orc army.
Orcs and giants working together.
Mass insanity.
Preposterous.
Hysteria.
Mass hysteria.
Let's preempt the emails.
All right, so let's go.
Let's start going.
Yeah, how was everybody?
You guys weren't too beat up from that fight,
but I think Della burnt some spells.
Burnt some spells.
She's got a few temporary hit points for another hour or so.
Sheriff, what would you like to do with the body of the bear?
What little I know of Gorim,
which, although not my god,
is the god of Lieutenant Lork.
I don't know.
Do you have any knowledge of religion,
maybe, in your studies throughout the years
of what an appropriate burial ceremony
would be for the bear?
Knowledge religion?
It's like a New Orleans funeral.
Baron pulls a trombone out.
Well, I remember, I personally remember Lurk burying Jasan
and doing that Gorm thing.
We weren't present for that, were we?
No.
That is an 18 knowledge religion, Troy, to see if...
I mean, like, Sir Will wants to bury Barry before we do anything else.
That's fine.
It's traditional to just throw it in the water and watch it go down the drain.
Watch it poison the drinking supply.
Welcome to Wet n' Wild, where this summer we have bears in the inner tubes.
So are you trying to figure out what a worship
of Gorim would do? I'm just trying to figure
out if burying it is the wrong
thing to do, if that's disrespectful or
something, if it needs to be burnt on a pyre
or something like that.
Yeah, I mean,
you don't know one way or the other.
As long as it's handled with respect.
I have a theory that it's just like a regular
burial except it's spelled B-E-A-R.
Jesus, get out.
Burial?
Instead of B-U-R.
Get out of my house.
Yeah, Sir Will would like to perform a ceremony, dig a hole, and bury the bear.
And it's going to take him a long time.
He's doing it himself.
Umlo and I will.
Yeah, Lexington involved.
He's a bear.
It was also, night was approaching.
It was later in the afternoon.
He's a magical wolf, night was approaching. It was later in the afternoon. He's a magical wolf.
Night was approaching.
Umlo and Baron...
Well, I'm not playing Umlo,
but Baron will ask Umlo for his dwarven digging assistance
as they are experts of digging.
I will say shrines to Gorom are typically
an organized pile of rocks
with a helmet or a blade set atop.
Just cut his claws off. So wherever you bury him, I could see you making a little pile of rocks for a helmet or a blade set atop. Just cut his claws off.
So wherever you bury him, I could see you making
a little pile of rocks for a tombstone.
Maybe sticking a rusty dagger
in there or something.
Does anybody want to take the locket?
I'll grab it
to give to Lork later.
So Sir Will wants to do
a little
prayer, and it'll be in the tradition of the Omadai.
He doesn't really know any prayers of Gorim, but they'll bury Barry, pile these rocks.
And Della will do a commemorative dance.
Della does a commemorative dance.
Always at the funerals.
A gunshot goes off.
Traditional GCP funeral.
As is traditional.
That one's for you, Barry.
Hey, you know this, right?
That we always pronounce Yomadai wrong, right?
Yeah, but I don't know how to pronounce it.
I think Paizo pronounces it wrong.
I think we know.
What is that?
It's supposed to be I-O-M-A-D-A-I.
I know, which is the stupidest way to pronounce that word.
I'm sorry, Paizo.
That's like Torag being Torong.
Torong.
We got an email about this.
I was like, you guys are pronouncing it wrong.
I was like, listen, this is clearly meant to evoke a Latin loanword.
Yeah.
And this is absolutely the wrong way to pronounce that.
Iomadai?
Is that what you said?
Iomadai.
Yeah, Iomadai.
Iomadai.
It makes my skin...
Wait, but the I in...
If it's Latin...
Wait, is that why Sir Will lost his paladin powers?
You were insulting your deity!
He was consistently pronouncing the name of his own deity wrong?
All right, so you bury it.
You say your prayers.
It?
Really?
He always does that.
Bury, bury.
Bury is gone.
You bury, bury.
He was a man!
You bury the thing with no soul.
One last doobity-doo.
In the words of Barry,
do-ba-dee-doo.
That's engraved on the marker.
Do-ba-dee-doo.
No, but Sir Will has this...
All lives matter.
Here lies Barry
He was re-
Oh no
Oh my god
Oh no, no, no
That's what he wanted
That's what he would have wanted
We gotta cut that out
Joe and I
We looked at the recording
and see if that was easily
easily sliced
I made the time code
That is a funny joke
Troy's Troy's like Clearly not a serious mistake That is a funny joke.
Troy's clearly not a serious state. That is how Barry would have wanted it.
Troy, what are you doing stand-up?
Do you tell the people when the jokes are funny?
By the way, everyone, that's
a joke. And it's funny. It's a very funny
joke. It's a very funny joke.
We laughed about it later that night.
Alright, you say a prayer
and then... Such a jerk. do you guys want to rest here or do you want to
try and make a little more headway and rest i think we should rest here i mean i nester's fine
but i mean i think we've expended a lot of abilities so um and sir will would like to
if we're gonna rest sir will would like to channel because we're going to rest, Sir Will would like to channel because we have a lot of people down.
I want to see.
I don't know if my channels work, though.
Do his channels work?
You go to try whatever you do.
Yeah, exactly.
I assume you have to produce your holy.
Is it like a cleric?
Do you have to produce your holy symbol?
You do.
You do, right?
I don't think so.
For Paladin, it's different?
I don't know. I For Paladin, it's different? I don't know.
I think maybe you do, sure.
Well, let's say, just to make sure.
It says it acts as the cleric's ability, which says you produce your holy symbol.
Okay, then yes, you have to produce your holy symbol of I, who am I.
Which is actually Roselight.
Like, that is his holy symbol, is Roselight.
It's got the symbol on the hilt.
So you hold it out there, you say a prayer, you close your eyes, like, please work, please work.
And you cannot channel still Yeah
So I feel like his hand
Is like glowing
On the sword
But it's not bursting
Cause he can
He can lay on hands
But he can't channel
So
But he can still lay on hands
To people
Della would take a lay on hands
If you're willing
If you're willing to touch me.
Oh, interesting. He's sir-willing.
Now, Della, I don't want to do this if you
feel it's going to make you too nice.
Be careful. Make sure you choose wisely.
Just do it and stop bloviating.
I'm practicing sarcasm. I'm learning
it from Nesta.
Oh, great job.
Nailed it, did I?
Yeah, it was
excellent.
Oh, perfect.
I can't tell when
anyone's being honest.
It's a table full
of jerks.
Yeah, so Sir Will
just lays his hands
on Della and
infuses Della
with divine light. And you are lays his hands on Della and infuses Della with divine light.
And you are healed from it, Della.
It's true.
And then, if you guys want to camp here,
you know, it's not like it's...
Finally, we have a nice motel.
It's uncomfortable, but...
Well, there's stone structures.
I mean...
Yeah, you could wedge your way
into what's left of the stone structures
and make yourself a little camp,
set up watch and whatnot.
It's practically a La Quinta.
It pretty much is.
Except there's no Denny's next to it.
You haven't gone south.
You don't know.
You wake up the next morning
and feel a little itchy.
All right.
God damn it.
Everybody but Della,
roll a fortitude save.
Does anyone want to touch a ball?
Is Sir Will blessed?
Blessed.
Paladins get a bonus
to their fortitude save.
It's one of their second level
special things.
You do feel blessed.
All right. Nice. Bonus to saves. Returns. You say fortitude? Uh- one of their second level like special things you do feel blessed oh all right
nice bonus to saves returns you say fortitude uh-huh does anyone want touch of law no 25 25
all right world's okay do lexington um do i have to or can we just not count it
do it oh uh 26 he's okay for lexington yeah he's okay for Lexington yeah he's okay
Baron
19
natural
Nestor coin
once again
on my Boston dice
natural 19
26
oh aren't you good
and Del
oh you're Del
you're fine
I'm fine
what about
Omlo
Joe's Omlo by the way
Joe's Omlo
11 oh no no getting a little itchy Joe's on low, by the way. Joe's on low.
Eleven.
Oh, no.
Getting a little itchy.
Just go ahead and give him the second condition on Hero Lab.
It's a lot easier.
It's pretty much minus two to everything.
I'm not AC, but obviously.
Okay.
So out you set in the morning.
I'm assuming you're heading south.
Yep.
Wish we had a horse.
Can we shave all our hair off to get rid of these things?
Is that an option?
Try it and I'll let you know.
Nope.
A dwarf without a beard is not a pretty sight. You would look just like Nestor.
Right.
It's all I do.
It didn't do me much good.
You see to the west that the...
Remember I told you as you were coming to Slag Village
that the river or the streams were getting much, much wider
and that you had to pretty much choose
what side of the stream you wanted to be on
because to cross it, it would be too hard.
You can see to the west that it sort of opens up
in a large offshoot of the valley, but that it ends.
You can go that way,
or you can continue south following the water.
No, I think we can see to the end of that.
No, fuck it.
It's probably like three miles to the end of it,
but you can see that it ends.
Now it's pointing south.
So well as determined to go south toward the Temple of Rozag.
South we go.
Agreed.
South it is.
So you move south, and it's getting a little, the water's getting rough.
Like it's really, it's traveling in the same direction that you're going.
It's rough, and it's like flowing quickly, and the stream is getting wider and wider and wider and wider.
You travel for about, oh, four miles.
Oh, my God.
And you feel the valley turning again, and the valley is beginning to turn east.
And knowing what you know from the cave painting room,
this is heading in the direction of where you think this, you know, temple in the middle of a lake is.
heading in the direction of where you think this, you know, temple in the middle of a lake is.
So you continue going, and eventually the water, it happened right around the turn,
it starts getting calmer.
And any of you with any sort of knowledge of nature would know that it's probably emptying into a lake.
And then you travel another, like,
three miles!
So you've gone seven miles at this point.
And you see
a lake.
Ho ho ho ho ho ho!
Yeah!
Yellow pine and spruce trees
poke through pale outcroppings
of gray stone,
spilling down into the open, grassy
vale below.
In the center of this vale is a broad,
placid lake
whose bluish-green surface
ripples and glimmers
in the light breeze.
You do not see
any temple
or any village
in this lake though
I think I know what's happening
up ahead you see that the stream
will end in like another mile
and off in the distance you can see
where the valley ends again
I think I know what's happening
let me Matthew what do you think
should we write it down on some piece of paper you just tell me I think I know what's happening. Matthew, what do you think? Should we write it down on some piece of paper?
No, you just tell me.
I think it's underwater.
That's what I think, too.
I think it's underwater.
You believe it sunk?
I think it's been submerged.
Oh, my God!
If only we had a bear who would be comfortable
swimming down and tell us.
Yeah.
If only we had a druid.
It's not a whale.
Gary the Celestial.
Oh, man. Oh, I said Gary.
This is the perfect time for Gary.
There's also the chance that it's made invisible through
something, but I like that idea
more. A lake is huge.
I mean, it's probably
a mile at its widest point.
This is as big as Lake Encalf.
It's a mile at its widest point. This is as big as Lake Encalfin. Can I use...
It's a mile at its widest point.
I want to look for a boat.
Is there any type of watercraft nearby or something we could construct to go onto the lake?
Roll a perception.
We've had so much luck with boats before.
I will also do this.
Natural 20, 30, 5.
Do you walk up to the water's edge
so you can look out across this whole thing?
Sure, unless a monster's going to pull me in,
and then I don't.
Then you don't do it?
No, I do it, I do it, I do it, I do it.
Barret, go!
And for some reason no one was looking,
and they're like, did you guys see Barret?
I think he's taking a pee.
There you go.
A little ripple in the lake.
Bubble, bubble, bubble.
It's like the host.
So Baron, just imagine
you come up to this lake and there's a cool
breeze just coming off the lake. You know that
smell. Get into the smell of what this feels
like. Is it salt water?
Nope, nope. It's not salt
water, but it still has that fresh
weekend at the lake smell.
And you look around.
You look all the way to the other side.
Like, is there a dock?
Is there any boats?
You don't see anything.
But with your natural 20 perception, what was that, a modified 36?
35.
37 for unusual stonework.
Peeking out of the lake.
You see towards the middle of the lake deep, dark
shadows.
It is. It's underwater.
Underwater.
Oh my god!
Wow, wow, wow.
It looks to be
some sort of ruin.
Can Del detect magic to see if it's
been submerged by magical means or if it's just
sunken by...
It's too far.
Oh, yeah. How far out again?
60 feet?
Well, you just see it
towards the middle of the lake.
Just looking down, you see
shadows of ruins all
throughout the lake. I'd like
to use a combo of my knowledge
nature and my profession fisherman, which you tricked me into taking.
Which was totally unuseful.
To determine what the ecology of the lake is.
If there could be any danger in this area.
Like if it's safe to swim on.
We've had Garn away.
We've had a lot of episodes.
There's some nasty stuff happening.
Fresh water.
There's always something terrible underwater.
Always.
So would you like me to use
Fisherman, Nature...
Roll Knowledge Nature.
Della will roll it as well.
15. 17 for Della.
I was just going to say, as you guys are puzzling
that out, Sir Will is like,
this is how we used to do it back home!
And he just heaves a rock into the lake.
Oh, yeah.
There you go.
There you go!
And nothing happens.
It's perfectly fine.
And you guys are looking, I mean, it's a lake.
It's a wide open space.
There's got to be some sort of fish in there.
There's no reason to believe there isn't
some sort of life down there.
But, yeah, you don't know one way or the other.
Nothing jumped up after he threw that thing in.
You see little fish dart back and forth, maybe, if you look closely.
But it just appears to be, like, ruins everywhere,
but towards the center, the ruins, or whatever these stones are,
appear to be closer to the surface.
Can we walk along the edge of the lake to kind of center ourselves to those shadows that I noticed?
Sure.
So that we're like looking directly across from them?
Sure. So in my mind, you guys are on the north side of the lake.
And I'll put this picture up for you to see soon.
It's too much work for me to do right now.
But if you're on the north side of the lake,
you could walk around to the south.
You could find a thinner patch to swim across
and look to the south.
But let's just say you're walking.
And what are you looking for specifically?
You're just kind of trying to center yourself
with this structure that looks to be
the most intact of the ruins. Yeah, and to continue
to do any checks for anything that
would be water navigable or something
we could jimmy rig, jerry rig
and then we can make that. Roll another perception check.
Sixteen.
That's a natural one, folks.
Yeah, so you're walking around the perimeter
Baron and you just can't quite figure it out.
Can any of my companions also?
Sir Will is walking around as well, keeping his eyes peeled.
Yeah, Della will as well.
Yeah, he gets an 11.
I can touch a lot.
Sir Will, you don't really see anything.
20 for Della.
Della, so I imagine you guys kind of all walking along the perimeter
in different portions of it.
And Della, you train your eyes and you spot what appears to be a small cave-like opening
within the jumbled piles of stone towards the center of the lake.
Oh my gosh.
So like out in the center of the lake
there are some stones
and there seems to be an opening.
Right, like you would have to swim out to there
and then go underwater
to get to this opening of...
Oh, awesome.
No, we see the opening underwater.
You see the opening underwater.
Oh.
See.
Sir Will's like,
well, end of the line.
Yeah, really.
Time to turn home.
I mean, if our characters... So much for the, end of the line. Yeah, really. Time to turn home. I mean, if our characters, if they didn't realize that they were in a story that has to continue,
like they would say, well, this is in all likelihood we're going to drown.
Because we have no way of knowing where this ends up.
That's right.
We can also be sure that the forge will never be lit.
Yeah.
Because no one will ever get in there.
Listen, we've got a lot of money here. be sure that the forge will never be lit. No one will ever get in there.
Listen, we've got a lot of money here.
We can live comfortably for the rest
of our lives. Let's just go back
to Magmar or something.
The whole shore is pretty rocky
and shallow. Del, if you were
stepping in a little bit, it's shallow, but you can
see four yards out, it just drops off.
Wow. This would be a very dangerous
swim. The water's mean, I can get... The water's
calm. I can get myself
and one other person out there
flying, but then we'd have to dive
into the water. Yeah, I have a
plus one. Well, I'll tell you right now,
you can take ten on swim checks
in calm water to just wade out
to where you need to go, but once
you go underwater...
Skid, I've got some splainin' to do.
Oh. Well, allow
me to, uh, retort.
Nerd!
Troy!
I've got some splainin' to do.
It is time for
Nerdy
Remix!
Whatever you guys decide to do
I mean, obviously you're an adventure
You know what's at stake here
You know that there is information that you may or may not need here
And you know the possibilities of danger
But you also may be completely unequipped to deal with something like this
And that's a reality that I want you guys to really think about
Because when you deal with water
And you deal with going underwater when you deal with water and you deal with going underwater
and you deal with drowning,
death is a bad roll away all the time.
To me, I think falling damage and drowning
are the two most often causes of PC death
and like crits.
Let me talk about the swim check
because I want you guys to know
exactly what's going on here.
You make a swim check once per round while you're in the water.
Success means you may swim up to half your speed as a full round action,
or at a quarter of your speed as a move action.
If you fail by four or less, you make no progress.
If you fail by five or more, you go underwater.
For the purposes of just getting out to where you then would need to submerge yourself, you can take 10 in calm water and just wait out there,
slowly get you guys all treading water, and then be like, all right, we're going under,
and then this is where the game changes. So if you're underwater, either because you failed a
swim check or because you're swimming underwater intentionally, you have to hold your breath.
You can hold your breath for a number of rounds
equal to twice your constitution score, but only if you do nothing other than take move actions
or free actions. So if you're doing move actions, you have to roll your swim check to move at a
quarter speed and you lose one round. If you want to move half your speed as a full round action, you lose two rounds. Make sense?
Anytime you do a move action or a free action, you're only going to lose one round
of double your con. If you want to move at full speed,
you're going to lose two rounds. And that's con score, not modifier, just to be clear.
Right. So if you have a con of 20, excuse me, a con of 10,
you have 20 rounds underwater that you can hold your breath.
And as long as you're just doing move actions,
you'll move at a quarter speed,
assuming you make your DC 10 swim check.
And a quarter speed for someone that moves 30 feet
is not 7 1⁄2 feet.
It's actually rounded down to 5 feet.
You go down to the nearest multiple of 5.
So if you want to move quarter speed, it will only take one round, and you move five feet per round.
If you want to move 15 feet, though, you can take two rounds away as a full round action.
This is a lot of information, but it's important for the listeners and for you guys to understand what's really at stake here.
Well, we can also use fly underwater.
You can?
Yeah.
Is that how it works?
That's what Gail did.
Right.
I don't think we were doing it correctly then.
We were just kind of flavoring.
No, no.
You can fly in.
No, no.
Fly will propel you underwater also.
So you move faster with fly?
Yeah, I believe so.
It's like having one of those little propeller things.
All right, so let's look that up while I give you the rest of the issues here,
since not all of you will be able to fly, but maybe some of you will.
All right, let's say you've used up all your Constitution rounds, okay?
Now you need to hold your breath.
So at that point, after you've run out of all your con rounds,
you make a DC-10 Constitution check every round to continue holding your breath.
And each round, the DC
for that check increases by one. So the first
time, DC 10, then DC 11, DC 12.
If you fail that constitution
check, you begin to drown.
And this is how
drowning works.
On the first round, you fall unconscious.
Zero hit points. I don't care if you have 85, 90,
110, you immediately go to zero hit points. In the first round, you fall unconscious. Zero hit points. I don't care if you have 85, 90, 110. You immediately go to zero hit points.
Oh, my God.
In the following round, you drop to negative one hit points, and you're dying.
In the third round, you drown and die.
Permadeath.
Game over.
If you're unconscious underwater, you begin making constitution checks immediately.
So if something happens to you and you go unconscious,
you basically get two checks to die as opposed to three.
Follow me so far?
Yes.
So, that is the situation with just holding your breath
and what happens when you run out of your con rounds.
Now, in terms of combat underwater, which
we delved into very briefly back on the Chellish Devil and did completely incorrectly, it's
safe to say, basically, if you have a light piercing weapon, you don't take any penalties
to your roll. A slashing or a bludgeoning weapon, minus two to attack, and I believe minus two to damage. My screen is screwing up a little bit. Any ranged weapons, every five feet that that
arrow flies adds two plus two to the AC of the creature you're trying to attack, making it almost
impossible to hit something underwater. Now, if you have a swim speed, which I don't believe any of you do, then you can
move at your swim speed. You're still going to lose those rounds unless you can breathe
underwater. But that is what you are dealing with.
Haste. Now, I can cast haste and haste will give us a bonus to all of our swim speeds.
That's one.
Don't call them swim speeds. You get a bonus to your movement.
None of you have a swim speed
unless you cast something on yourself.
That's true. You basically would
double your swim movement.
Right, right.
The thing is, you obviously want to preserve
those con rounds, so you want to
make that DC 10 swim check and move
quarter speed, but the thing
is, if you can go full round action, you'll move 15 feet instead of five, which is obviously
way better. So what are you going to want to buff yourself for anybody that wants to
do this? You're going to want to buff your cons before you go in. I mean, we have that
potion of bear's endurance. You sure do. And we don't have that atomizer atomizer thing
again. Yeah. Yep. Yep. So,
talk to me
about what Della says.
I see an opening down there.
What do you guys do?
Have that conversation.
Um,
sorry, hang on.
Well,
well, listen,
we don't,
we don't know.
Look,
that could just keep going
down, down, down,
and then we have no idea where it comes out.
I mean, there could be no air down there at all.
We could all just be going to a certain depth.
I've never been trained to swim.
I've been in a shipwreck, mate.
It's not fun.
The thought of losing your life down there is fucking terrifying.
I hate to say it.
I don't want... No, fuck off.
If one of you wants to do it and come back and oh yeah it's fine then maybe and even then i'll do a sense motive
so i mean i can't swim i was never learned i was never taught how to swim
i don't i would be completely ineffective. Can Lexington swim?
Lexington can swim underwater.
Swim is a strength-based skill, right?
I believe so.
It is, yeah.
So you'd want to change armor and stuff before you go in. You've got to take off all your armor.
I can also do bull strength to give myself a bonus to swim.
It would take a lot of spells to make Della, like,
possibly able to get down there.
And if it doesn't open up into some sort of air pocket,
then, I mean, there's no way.
Let me walk you in mechanically
to how I would handle this,
because this is information that you need.
Let's say you all wade out there.
You take your tens.
It takes you X amount of time to wade out there.
The minute you guys decide to go underwater,
roll for initiative.
And then all of you will have little crib sheets with what your double your con is, whether it's 20, 24, 30. And then we'll just go round by round. And depending on the actions you take,
you'll cross those away. So if you do choose to go under, you just need to know always how many rounds it's going to take you to go back up and catch your air and reset your condom.
Does that make sense?
Why do you have to be able to swim to get up if there isn't a ceiling above you?
You have to navigate through the water, I think.
You just stop and you just rise to the top.
You hold your breath.
Right, like not using your swim speed?
Yeah. But you would assume that what Della
saw, you're going to have to go into a cave that has
a roof. I cannot
pass swim checks if they're DC 10.
So I can't do it.
I simply can't go.
Unless there's magic. Unless I'm magically
able to swim. And Baron would
need, what we really need is
a spell of air bubble. Yeah. But we don't have it. And Baron would need what we really need is a spell of air bubble.
Yeah. But we don't have it.
And Baron can't use his firearm underwater
because the gunpowder gets wet. And unless
I have my gun also in an air bubble,
I'm totally ineffective.
This is an amazing role-playing
moment here. I don't know what's...
I'm playing a
commentator here. I have no idea
what you guys are going to do and how this is going to happen. Yeah, for me, I mean, obviously I want to do this. I'm playing a commentator here. I have no idea what you guys are going to do and how this is going to end.
Yeah, for me, I mean, obviously I want to do this.
I'm scared.
But, I mean, Nestor, I don't see any way that he'd agree to this.
I mean, Sir Will is tortured.
This is the one place that he really wants to go, that he's most curious about seeing.
But he can't swim.
I can help.
But you can't swim.
I can... I mean, I can help.
If we were to take a day and rest,
I could use the Magus ability
to spend arcane pool points to prepare a spell
I don't know that's on my list
and do water breathing,
which would give us the ability to breathe underwater.
All of you?
I mean, two people.
Because I could cast it once and use the Pearl of Power.
Let's see if I got anything else.
Oh, I could do monkey fish.
Go on.
Gain a
climb speed and swim speed of
10 feet for a period of time.
You can divide the duration of
water breeze in between all the characters
you touch. Oh, okay.
The transmuted creatures can breathe water freely.
Divide the duration evenly among
all the creatures you touch. This spell does not make creatures can breathe water freely. Divide the duration evenly among all the creatures you touch.
This spell does not make creatures unable to breathe air.
That's interesting.
So I wonder what the difference would be.
You can just...
Oh, and it's two hours per level.
So we'd have to rest.
I'd have to prepare it and then cast it and divide it among us
and then cast monkey fish.
Yeah.
So basically, from what I'm reading,
tell me if I'm wrong,
if you were able to cast that on everyone,
you would not have to worry about these con checks.
No, not at all.
The only problem is if you go unconscious.
Right.
If you go unconscious, that's when someone will die.
But even then, you'd have however many hours.
No, no.
If you go unconscious, then you go into the drowning rules.
Once you fall unconscious, you immediately make a con check.
Once you fail that check, you drop to the bottom.
But if you can already breathe water, why would that be an issue?
The issue is if you go unconscious, do you lose the effects of the spell because you're unconscious?
That's the question.
I don't know that you do.
That doesn't make sense.
It doesn't say anything about it.
It's not like you have to maintain concentration
as a subject of a spell.
Now, I just read up on monkey fish
and that's only personal.
The range is personal.
So I can't give that to you.
Well, even still,
I mean, this
will last us
a couple of hours each.
Just the water breathing?
Yeah.
So, I mean, it's, what is it, like 18 total hours?
You can divide among us.
Two hours per level.
I'm eighth level.
16 hours.
Yeah, 16 hours.
Four hours each?
Well, and I'm low.
But then the issue becomes that Sir Will can't swim,
and he's the one who most needs to get down there.
He can't swim, and he's the one who most needs to get down there.
He can't swim.
If we're rolling checks, he'll pass, like, one out of four checks.
So, maybe.
And if you don't pass a check, Troy, you just don't make progress?
And if you pass a check, you go five feet?
Yes.
But if you have water breathing... Yeah, but again mean we can take all the time we need basically you could walk out underwater
very very slowly you could you could drop to the to the bottom of the lake in your arm walk across
it like pirates of the caribbean style yeah well that would be cool if the depth matched up like
the the uh the cave is that's the bottom of the lake.
How far down does it go, Troy?
You don't know.
If somebody wants to wait out there
and stick their head under,
I'll let you roll a perception check.
Della will do it.
Okay, so Della, you go out there
and you stick your head underwater,
roll a perception check.
That is 27.
27.
It looks like the lake at its deepest point
and the part that you would need to get to
to get that cave opening is 40 feet down.
It's so absurd.
Does water breathing completely take away pressure?
That's what I was just thinking.
It might be unbearably painful.
Yeah, if Sir Will just went down 40 feet
in the real world, his head wouldn't explode,
but he would be like, well,
in a second,
but you get the bends.
Yeah.
Um,
gradually,
but,
but this water breathing,
like cover that.
Does it make you equalize?
Whatever.
It's like 40 feet.
It's not 4,000 feet.
Yeah.
That's not part of the rules.
You know,
you don't have to worry about that.
All right.
Okay.
I know that.
I don't actually worry about going deaf.
the,
the real question is if you go unconscious,
do you, can you still, does that effect still keep going?
I don't know of any reason why it wouldn't.
And then when the duration ends, the duration ends.
Sure, the duration ends, the duration ends.
I mean, that would be a game changer then.
The only issue is, if you run into trouble,
you guys don't have great weapons.
Yeah, I mean, I would be using my
star knife. You'd just be using a dagger?
Yeah, I mean
I definitely can't fire my bow and arrow underwater.
You can't really do spells
because of verbal components.
You have to roll a percentile die.
Concentration check. DC 15 plus
double the spell level anytime you want to cast underwater.
That's why air bubbles actually
regular fire doesn't work but magical fire works. It comes out like steam, they say. it's double the spell level any time you want to cast underwater. That's why air bubbles actually... Air bubble would be best.
Regular fire doesn't work,
but magical fire works.
It comes out like steam, they say.
All right, so let's say...
Why don't we say...
Let's see what happens.
So Della is going to propose...
She'll propose...
She's like, I think if I tap into...
All right.
If we were to spend the day here
and the night here,
I would be able to tap into my knowledge pool
and use some of my powers
to create the spell for us and then we could go yeah well if no if that works i mean
that sounds no greater adventure no i mean yeah who doesn't want to breathe underwater i used to
have dreams about when i was a child like being able to just jump out into Little Port Bay and just swim,
just keep swimming.
See what was down there.
There's so many shipwrecks, lots of money.
But look, no, I'm all for this.
I think this is great. It's a great idea.
I'm all for it.
How would I get
back up?
Walk across the base. You just walk
out.
Like a fucking Terminator.
So it sloped enough, Troy?
It's not like a drop-off?
This is so absurd.
Would your swim check be more useful
if you Enoch-chocked?
Yeah, it would help it.
It would help it by two.
You guys are probably going to want to start switching armors around.
Taking some armor off.
I mean, the belt gives whoever...
Umlo's con is so down, I don't know if he's going to want to make the journey, but...
Well, the con doesn't matter once you cast the spell.
No, that's...
I just worry about the, like...
You still have to pass swim checks.
You still have to get...
I have a plus one swim check.
The only thing is going to be, like, Baron and Sir Will are going to be very slow. Plus four, actually. Plus four. They're not going to be able to get where they need to get... I have a plus one swim check. The only thing is Baron and Sir Will are going to be
very slow. Plus four, actually. Plus four.
They're not going to be able to get where they need to get.
I'm just going to be walking.
You're going to walk.
Are we going to leave Lexington?
You're going to swim down to the bottom.
Walk down the bank
and just keep walking.
In heavy armor.
Is that how it works? You can just walk around down there?
He would move very slowly,
but I can't see why...
I can't see why I couldn't move five feet around.
You still have to roll swim checks, though.
No, you're not swimming.
If he's heavy enough to touch the bottom
in his heavy armor.
I understand that.
That's not where the rules are written, though.
Like, when you're underwater,
you have to roll a swim check every round
unless you have a swim speed.
But you're not swimming.
We're not swimming.
This is where you come in to interpret a situation that they did not interpret.
Right.
Heavy armor on a halfling weighs you down to the bottom,
and you can just walk along the bottom.
That's not swimming.
Yeah.
I'm not saying my speed is the normal speed, but it's not swimming.
Do you have a climb skill when you get to something you need to...
You walk along the bottom and then you see if there's not an entrance there and you have to get back up to the top.
But even that's going to be different because it's different climbing underwater than it is above water.
It's much easier to climb.
Okay, okay, okay.
I figured out your conundrum here, O'Brien.
Firm footing, it's called.
Creatures have firm footing
when walking along the bottom
braced against a ship's hull or the like.
Now, here's the thing.
I'll just walk along the bottom, right? A creature can
only walk along the bottom if it wears
or carries enough gear to weigh
itself down. At least 16
pounds for medium creatures, which
all of you are carrying. Twice that
for each category, larger than medium, and half
that for size smaller than medium.
So if you stay little, Willie, 8 pounds
of gear. What does your armor weigh?
A Scross armor weighs
50 pounds.
I'm sure that that is the medium size of it,
so maybe it's a little lighter, but even at 25
pounds, I'm good. You're totally fine.
You're sick like a rock.
Yeah, you guys can decide who's going to make the swim checks
and who's going to just walk on the bottom.
So you'll, like, wade your way out there.
Where are those rules?
Where is that?
What is that under?
It's table 13-7 in the core rulebook.
It's in the core rulebook.
I would say, like, we should just all walk along the bottom,
just stay together, and it would be, like, be like in slow motion like walking across the bay i was saying it's like reservoir
dogs in an actual reservoir oh my god that's the title of the episode
reservoir dogs and we could bring lexington the whole thing so we could bring lexington and have
a reservoir dog this is why this is why I bring Skid to all of my pitch meetings.
It's like reservoir dogs in our reservoir.
I'm soaking the room.
Let me ask you this.
Is anyone going to try swimming?
Della is going to, if we're going to spend the night and do the knowledge pool,
she's also going to knowledge pool monkey fish, so she has a swim speed of 10 feet.
Okay, so you're going to have to...
That's cool.
Your swim checks will be automatic.
If you cast water breathing on everyone, you're just going to be able to have a swim speed. After... That's cool. Your swim checks will be automatic. So... Yeah. And you don't have...
If you cast water breathing on everyone,
you're just going to be able to have a swim speed.
So you're not going to walk along the bottom,
whereas everyone else is going to sink to the bottom.
I will swim with them, so we all...
Like, right above them, so we can look like...
Just like dolphin diving.
Like we're at a nice casino with a little more ladies.
I just have this image of us on the bottom,
and then just, you know just 20, 30 feet ahead
Della just kicking and
scouting ahead.
You know what's absolutely going to happen?
There's going to be one of those fish with the bioluminescent
lures that hang out and they're going to pull us in
and kill us all.
That lure is going to be like a magic
weapon. It's like a long sword.
Oh my god! See, I can say this because
none of you guys have it it If you have freedom of movement
Everything becomes a lot easier
Normal speed, normal damage, normal attack
Now if you're working with firm footing
Or in Della's case
Actually it's going to be a little bit
Della for different
So let's say with firm footing
You guys sink to the bottom and walk along
If you're using slashing or bludgeoning
Minus two to attack,
half damage. Period.
Piercing, normal damage.
Movement, half speed.
Got that? Now, if you have a swim speed,
which Della will have,
slashing or bludgeoning, minus two for half.
Piercing, normal.
Movement, normal, which is important
for you. So you're just going to move
at your swim speed.
Now, I think Della might... You said, whether we'll do spells movement normal, which is important for you. So you're just going to move at your swim speed. Yes.
Now, I think Della might...
No, you said...
What are the rules of spells underwater?
You have to roll a DC 15 plus double the spell level
to make sure that you...
Concentrate.
Concentrate through speaking underwater.
Oh, that's tough.
This is gonna be wild.
What is everyone using for weapons?
Nestor.
Well, being as my old jolter probably
using electricity underwater is generally like frowned upon anyway so i thought that's the
lightning bolt so yeah it's like bringing a coaster uh but i do have a lovely uh magical
short sword i'm going to use that which is piercing ah so yeah so yeah perfect grant
grant's guns underwater grant's gonna put the guns in his powder horn
And keep all the gunpowder dry
Inside of the bag of holding
But he's gonna go
I think Tomb Raider 2, maybe Tomb Raider 3
Underwater you used crossbows
Barrett's gonna use a crossbow?
I'm gonna use, and I just see him
I see him kind of suspended underwater
With one leg up and the other there
Just pulling back the giant thing
and crossbow click. It's so ridiculous.
With a stream
of bubbles behind the bolts. Yeah, it's like a
spear gun. It's like a James Bond
underwater. Yes, I told him.
Now just remember, I think it's very cool, but
every five feet it travels before
the target, the target gets a plus two
to its AC. Oh wow. So you have to be
very, very close. I have that.
So I have that weapon.
And then on my back, I have the hand axe we got from the bride woman.
Oh, Grenzeldach.
Grenzeldach.
Yeah.
Grenzeldach's hand axe.
So I have that too, but that's flashing.
All right.
So you're pretty much going to have to use that close range on the crossbow or not.
Which is awesome.
It's very cool either way.
I wish I could use up close and deadly with it because it just fits so perfectly.
Talk about artwork.
I can't wait to see what this is.
Oh, my God.
This should be a whole series.
Oh, Robert Atkins, get on this.
Della, you rocking the scimitar?
Galabras's star knife.
Galabras's star knife.
Cool.
How appropriate.
Cool.
Sir Will?
Well, I should say that Sir Will is going without Lexington.
So Lexington has to stay.
To guard the stuff.
To guard all our shit.
I mean, maybe Umlo should stay as well.
No.
Well, I mean, he can.
I would prefer him to stay.
I would stay with Lexington with that weapon.
Yeah, he has the best weapon to use underwater.
The single highest damage.
Weapon reach.
I'd rather he'd stay, too.
And don't forget, if you listen to that cannon fodder,
when we leveled up on Lowe,
Joe did give him a point in swim.
Which brings his swim up to...
Joe, did you read
the adventure ahead of time?
I go to the skid school
of adventuring.
I'm telling you,
it helps a lot
to read the entire adventure
ahead of time.
So, yeah,
I'm going to disarm
or take all the armor
off of lexington all the markings all that stuff explain to him like if he gets into trouble he can
just split uh but he's gotta like lay low for a while in the in the woods here and then um ain't
no woods and i'm gonna walk in and i'm gonna and I'm going to take my banner off of the lance.
And I'm going to take the lance.
So I have this spear, basically, for underwater.
It's safe.
It's safe.
This is great.
Are you guys leaving anything with Lexington?
Any gear?
The bag of holding?
Are we taking the bag of holding?
I think we better.
I'm taking the bag of holding.
I have a light load with the bag of holding.
It has no bearing mechanic on my swim ability. So I'm taking the Bag of Holding. I have a light load with the Bag of Holding. It has no bearing
mechanically on my swim ability.
I'm taking everything.
Then I'm putting all the armor, Lexington's
armor, everything in the bag.
You can wear armor without
a penalty check and
swim just the same. Light armor, right?
Right. This is absurd!
So if you cast Water Breathing
on them the next day, that's going to give you... What's your mages level? Eight. So is absurd! So if you cast Water Breathing on them the next day
that's going to give you
what's your magus level?
Eight.
Eight.
So you've got
16 hours
and so even bringing
Umlo
you should have
plenty of time.
So you guys
rest for the night.
Get your HP.
Della spends
the rest of the day
studying
and reading
her spell.
She's never cast
a spell before, right?
She's never cast a spell before.
She's dipping into
the knowledge pool.
The next day you guys wake up just like you're on vacation at the lake.
You wake up early while the fish are jumping.
And you all take ten to wade out to the middle of this.
And you can see, like, the largest stones that make up whatever this one big structure that's still intact is there.
It are, like, less than a yard below the surface.
And now, if you all take time,
you can see the entrance, what looks
like a cave entrance, into the one
building that's remaining of what was probably
another once prosperous village.
And
Della casts
water breathing on all
five of you.
And we'll see you next time.
Oh!
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