The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 117 - The Strife Aquatic

Episode Date: August 22, 2017

While searching for a lost artifact in an underwater sunken temple, the heroes face a quartet of familiar foes! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. Whose turn is it now? Del's turn. What do you got, Del? It's right up in your grill, 10 feet away. In the hall of a sunken temple, the heroes are taken by surprise. And there is no escape. So Nestor is being held.

I'm in bad shape again. What are they going to do? What if they do the unexpected? Della is going to hope. Oh, very un-Della-like. Shades of Barry Connick Jr. And outwit their enemy. You gave yourself away.

They may have a chance. Yeah! That's 16. Oh, beautiful. The adventure continues. We got grits. We got bubbles. Everything must go.

Right now. Hey everybody, welcome to episode 117 of the Glass Cannon Podcast. It's me, Skid Marr. This episode is going to air after we get back from Gen Con, but I'm recording it before we get to Gen Con. So I don't know exactly what's going to happen. And in fact, I don't even know if I'll come back at all. We'll be right back. I would like my ashes spread in Asheville, North Carolina, on Arthur Ashe Stadium, and in Ashton Kutcher's hot tub. But in the unlikely event that I do survive, I just want to say that I almost certainly had an amazing time. We all did. And it was probably really great meeting all of you.

And we probably had an amazing time playing games and trying new games and doing all the stuff that I've wanted to do since I was in fifth grade and saw the ad for Gen Con for the first time in a Dragon magazine. But anyway, I'm going to need to rest for a week, probably. And in the meantime, please enjoy episode 117 as the True Now crew continue their underwater adventures in the Strife Aquatic. continue their underwater adventures in the Strife Aquatic. For he's a jolly good marrow For he's a jolly good marrow For he's a jolly good marrow

And we're all going to die We're all going to die We're all going to die He's a jolly good marrow He's going to kill us in this temple We're all going to die. We're all going to die. He's a delicate marrow. He's going to kill us in this temple. He's a delicate marrow. We're all sitting here singing, and Grant is just turned around looking at me, shaking his head. I will not sing your death tunes.

And we are all going to die. That was the best. It's going on the album. We did it. We've got like 23 singles now. That's got to be public domain. That was the best. It's going on the album. We did it. We've got like 23 singles now. That's got to be public domain, that song. It is, in fact, because it is often

sung in place of Happy Birthday in movies and TV. Could you sing it for us? Wait, Happy Birthday is in public domain? I believe it is now. No, it's not. In the UK, it will be expired sooner than in the United States. But for the time being, an evil publishing company has rights over it, which is why you don't hear it that often.

Is the estate of Patty and Mildred Hurst? Right. But the estate was purchased. Patty Hurst? No, it's not Patty Hurst. The estate was purchased by a big publishing company. It's all. How do you have this information?

There it is. Can you explain the happy birthday license? Just because I have to license stuff for my job a lot. And I think about this stuff. Is that why all those chain restaurants make up weird alternate versions of happy birthday? Precisely. Patty and Mildred Hill. Ah, the Hills.

Yes. The Hills have eyes. Theildred Hill. Ah, the hills. Yes. The hills have eyes. They did. They did, in fact. They did. That's how they wrote their music. That's how they wrote their music down. Happy birthday to you, Maris.

Oh, no. Grant, they settled. The court declared that happy birthday is in the public domain. When did this happen? 2016. It's about damn time. When did this happen? 2016. Oh. Well, it's about damn time. For $14 million.

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Mayor Rose. Happy birthday to you and many more. Actually, no, because I'm going to kill you right now. Let's just pause, make sure that what I read on Wikipedia is true. That's double-checked facts. It's on Wikipedia.

Any Philip K. Dick facts before we move on? It's been a while. What do you got, Skip? It is time for Dick Facts. He actually purchased a used car in Berkeley. This was from a University of Berkeley student in 1968. And it broke down and he was not able

to get rid of it and he just had to junk it. He sold it for trash. And that formed the basis of the novel Ubik. Really? Not at all.

Oh, come on. I don't know how he's able to make up stuff like that. That's not true at all. like, what was the one a few weeks ago?

Laotian Colorblind. That was a very special recording. Actually, no, take that back. Sorry, guys. Skid, you are a fountain of fake knowledge. Thank you. I'm just driving John Voight's car. All right, what is going on in this episode, first of all?

Well, we've stumbled into a room full of marrows. Yes. We've cracked through the bone right to the marrow. Do you into a room full of marrows. Yes. We've cracked through the bone right to the marrow. Do you know what a school of marrows is called? A school. It was a trick question. You gave yourself away. Damn it. You thought

you were clever. Did you say we cracked through the marrows to the bone? We cracked through the bone to the marrows. That's good. Can we call it a merry widow or something of marrows? Right now it just looks like a Chippendales because they're all really buff.

Yeah, they're all really rough. Well, if I roll well and vomiting... If I can roll well, it'll be a murder of Marrow's. Oh. I was thinking like a Channing.

Are you saying... A Channing of Marrow's. Like a Channing Tatum. Are you saying they're crows, Troy? Perhaps. Is that what you're saying? Perhaps they are.

Magical crows. Good Lord. Well, hey, the last time we saw a marrow, it was one of those classic GCP moments. Was it Tog or Shog? I always forget. I feel like it was Tog. Eh. The one that Rourke befriended.

Tog. Yes. That was the one that went up there, I think, and went to talk to Rag on the bow of the boat. And he turned and looked at Lorca or whoever and just smiled. And I remember Matthew at the time being like, oh, he's going to attack! He's going to attack! And no, it was a

javelin went straight through his neck. Killed him. Let's give him something to talk about. Hal Rick's his lover. No less. Oh, yeah. Dead.

They were fooling around. Dead. Despite the rules of Ragship. These guys are back. Look, I got four actual marrow pawns. I mean, it's so much better. And they do not look happy. You know what they actually are? They're called marrow relic hunters.

Oh. Oh. Yeah, these ain't your grandpa's marrows. I'll tell you that much. These ain't your grandpa's fantasy sea beasts. Nope. Roll for initiative. Oh, no.

All right. I really want to get a high initiative this week. You won't. Roll, roll, roll, roll, roll. Roll for initiative. Yes. Natural 20 Get out of here

Natty 20 Nice Sir Will needed it A natural one Joe's gonna roll Joe's gonna roll Wow, you needed a high Anish I did

And you got a Natty Sir Will a bit Twenza So what's that, a modified 18? It's a modified 22, Michael. Nice. Anybody beat 22? 30.

Get out of here, Barron. 30 on a natural 18. Barron, you're such a scene stealer. Nestor, what'd you get? 24. 24? Yeah. What'd you get adjusted, Sir Will?

22. 22, okay. And Della? Eight. Natural one. Natural one. And who's playing I'm Low this week? I'm a mug.

Oh, everybody's favorite. Fan favorite. Fan favorite. Matthew Capitacazza. I'm going to take a guess here. Six. Seven. Wow.

That's not bad. Pretty good, Troy. Not bad. He's in your head, dude. He's in your head. I can feel it. I can feel it. Oh, I like the way my initiative tracker looks right now.

Everything's very green. Does this mean all the marrows are up top? Because they are green? Yeah, that's true. I have all the marrows in green on my initiative tracker. All right. Let's get down to business. You walk into this room.

It's a shrine. There's a statue that has no face. The face has been either worn away by time or possibly even defaced, as it were. It's holding... Someone defaced the statue. It's holding a huge disc in its hand, which seems very interesting. Doesn't make quite sense,

but you also don't know what this statue is, who this statue is. Two stone menhirs and four badass-looking marrows. Round one. Baron. Whipping out your gun. Going to take a couple shots. No, I've already told you.

Okay. We went over this last episode that I'm walking around with a loaded crossbow. Very dangerous. And you okayed this. It's very, very dangerous. I shoot the marrow with my crossbow. The one closest to me, so ten feet away. Okay.

We're going to call him one. Marrow one. For your jolly good marrow. Flat-footed. Nice. That is a twenty-eight. Now let's see how many spaces away. One, two, three. So that's a plus six to its AC. Does a twenty-eight hit it?

Just barely. Yeah! Alright, so you hit. Oh, it's a 1d10. Let's give up something to talk about! Talk about aerosol bolts and stuff. That is not... Oh, and it's a giant subtype? Those are trolls, right?

Or they orcs. They are of the giant subtype. There you go. So, yes. So that is 17 plus 2d6. Nice. So what did I say? 17 plus 8 is 25 points of damage.

Nice opening gambit. Great move. Okay, moving on. Nestor. Baron's going to actually move 10 feet back. 5, 10. Okay. Leaving Sir Will alone in the room with four marrows.

And then I'm low. Takes me a full round to reload. Nestor is going to do a knowledge local check to see if there's anything special about smeral. Yeah, even though you're in the back there, you see one of them just jump in front of you. Oh, yeah. 35. 35. Yeah, that's going not... Oh, yeah. 35. 35, yeah, that's going to give you a lot of information. I mean, there's just not a lot to know about them

other than the fact that they have power attack. They're amphibious, obviously. You feel like they want to attack with their claws, grab and squeeze the life out of their enemies until they die. And then they'll probably just—their goal is probably to do that to all of you and slowly feast over on your bodies for the next week. Okay. Yeah, so grappling is going to be their M.O. Right. So, yeah, man.

There's not much I can do without being able to use Ojalta. We just got to kill him? Yeah, but how? That's normally what I do with him. I'm going to step up to be next to Baron. Okay. Oh, that's Umlo, actually. No, this is Baron. Umlo, yeah.

All right, so now it goes Baron, Umlo, Nestor in a straight line. Standing at the entrance of this room, and then Sir Will is ten feet into the room in front of us. And then Del is standing behind. Sir Will looks so small next to these marrows. Okay. Sir Will. Sir Will is going to go into total defense. Total defense.

Now remember, you're providing concealment as long as you are walking on that ground. 20% mischance. I'm going to make you guys remember it. So if we move, concealment. If you move, you create concealment. Right now, just standing there, nothing. But if going to make you guys remember it. So if we move, concealment. If you move, you create concealment.

Right now, just standing there, nothing. But if you move, you create concealment. However, that will also... So I don't have concealment. Currently, no. Then I would move and get concealment. Okay. So you move back.

And I get... I'm pretty sure total defense is a standard action. You are correct. But you can't take a five-foot step. I moved five feet and did a standard action. Okay, that you can't take a five foot step i moved five feet and then did a standard action okay that's fine all right so stir will steps back knowing that will create um you know this sort of uh cloud around him to provide concealment however when they get up in your grill and you go to attack them that's going to give them concealment as well even though they are swimming it It's their turn. All right, so the first one, the one that Baron pegged off, swims up to Sir Will and goes to Claw.

20 to hit. Miss. Okay. So that one just swims up there. It's got 10-foot reach. All right, the one on the far side of the room swims over, tries to do the same thing. Natty, 19.

It's going to be a 26. Miss. Wow! Nice. Exactly 27. Oh, why'd I have to do power attack? I love tanky Sir Will. I love unhittable Sir Will. He's just like, holds his

spear. No, he doesn't have his shield. Oh, great. He's just like, holds his spear. No, he doesn't have his shield. Oh, right, right. He's holding his spear up, or his lance up, blocking the blows. The third one steps up and tries to do it. Wow, so I can only hit you with a natural 20. I'm not going to take it. That's amazing. That's great.

I really thought that'd be a better chance of hitting me. Yeah, well, because I have power attack on, and I'm not going to take it off now because I don't have that knowledge. Right. So I'm going to roll in front of the table. 12. Yeah, no. have that knowledge. Right. So I'm going to roll in front of the table. 12. Yeah, no. No. And the fourth one is going to hold because, as you can see right now,

it's Sir Will. Sir Will is literally just tanking there, holding his own against three Marrows, and there's no room for the other one to get in. Awesome. And it is Della's turn. Della's going to cast Haste. Yes! Oh, okay.

Our mobility is limited. Okay. It sounds like this. Yeah. And then she is going to move up there, basically. Yeah.

20 foot wide entrance to the room and they're lined up side by side. Baron, Umlo, Nestor, Nella. They're not getting out of here. Blocking the exit. Yeah. Now yous can't leave. Umlo. Is Umlo going to break up that formation?

I think Umlo, is he 15 feet away from you? No, he's 10 feet away. So he'll have to step backwards. All right, so Umlo is going to try and... So Umlo's going to stay where he is. That provokes an attack. Oh, no, it doesn't because it's melee. And he's going to stab three times at full attack action at the marrow to the left.

And that won't provoke from the one the Baron hit? It's a melee attack. Yeah, no, because it's a melee attack. All right, so you're going to stab through. It's going to get plus four to its AC. Partial cover? Yeah, through two targets, because you're going through Sir Will and Nestor.

Stab away. Let's get to it. Putting on haste. By the way, Matthew, are you Umlo? I'm Umlo. Okay, just making sure. Or rather. That's good. So, I get a bonus because he's of the giant subtype, right? Yep. Plus two to hit, plus two to damage.

Plus four, 2d6. I'll allow it. Come on, dude. 23 to hit. 23 is a miss. Okay, second attack. You can do better. You can do better.

You can do better than that. Come on, Umz. 21. 24 to hit. 24 still. It's because of. You can do better, though. Come on, Nums. 21. 24 to hit. 24 still. It's because of the cover, trying to stab. But you can natural 20 this last attack. So this is the hasted extra attack, right?

No. Miss. Miss. The very first one is. But this is exactly what Sir Will wanted. He's, like, holding up a defense, and then he just sees a spear coming over his head, jabbing at the giants. All right.

That's the end of round one. Round two, Baron. Baron is going to just reload his rapid crossbow and... Rapid? Sorry. Rapid? It's really hard to think under water. Wouldn't we say rapid?

The water's calm. I'm trying to make the encounter more difficult. Sure, sure, sure. So he's going to reload his crossbow and does the encounter more difficult. Sure, sure, sure. So he's going to reload his crossbow. And does knowledge nature? Oh, that does provoke, though. Oh, yeah.

Right. So I'm going to provoke. They sure do. I'm going to provoke. All right. Here comes the claw. Miss. All right. And getting more info about them.

I know Nestor did a really good job earlier. What knowledge does that fall under? Local. Local. Okay. I'm going to run a lot. Knowledge low for any weaknesses because we just heard their abilities. Right.

But you don't have that information because Nestor cannot free action. Tell you. I can't tell you. Well, it's still up to your discretion as to what to do. But you probably won't tell me anything because I got a 15. I don't think they have any weaknesses. 15, yeah, no weaknesses. You just know the same thing,

that they want to grab you and squeeze the life out of you. Okay. By the time they stand at the gym, do you think they have a weakness? Nestor. They all look like Khal Drogo, kind of. Yeah. Green Khal Drogo.

Stupid, sexy Khal Drogo. All right, Nestor, what do you got? Nestor coin, mate. Nestor coin. Are you guys still down with this underwater music, or do you want to go back to regular music? I love it. No, I'm liking the underwater thing.

I want to make sure it's not... It's so set the scene. It's real bassy, which is true about water. Here's an image of the Marrow Hero. I can alter that, actually. On the TV screen, if you want a little close-up view of this lovely creature. Oh, he's eating an octopus

that's what they do they love octopus and dwarf yeah he's holding an octopus he's obviously a Detroit Red Wings fan alright so I'm

Nestor is gonna god this I hate this it's a tough tough tough situation I guess damn

that's a tough, tough, tough situation. I guess. Damn. That's a tough one. Take his main weapon away. And I can't do a fucking five foot step. I'm gonna... Yeah. Fuck. I hate myself already. I'm gonna step in front of the one in front of Umlo.

Take a five foot movement. And provoke if it has another one. I'm assuming it doesn't? It does not. Okay, great. Take a study target and take a stab with my little short sword. Take a stab at it, bro.

Yeah, probably not. Yeah, 21 to hit. 21 is a hit. Okay, good. Nice. It does not have the cover bonuses that made Unloan this. So 21. So you're pretty handy with that short sword.

It's not too bad. Six points of damage. Six points of damage. Nestor does like getting up close and personal. Yeah, he's an assassin. Yeah, he's just not like as good at it. He likes to see the life leave their eyes. The moment

their pupils... You want to know which of your friends were cowards. You moved five feet and you took an attack. Is there anything else you could do with Haste? No, that's it. Okay. Alright, that was Nestor's turn and it is Sir Will. Sir Will, you're just holding

yourself. Yep, Sir it is Sir Will. Sir Will, you're just holding yourself. Yep. Sir Will is going to move five feet closer into the tangle of these guys to just keep attracting attention and freeing up space, which means he will provoke from one of these guys. Just one of them? Actually, from

two of them. From both. Alright, so they both go to claw out at Sir Will. Miss. You don't care now. That would be a hit on anybody else. They two of them. From both. Alright, so they both go to claw out at Sir Will. Uh, miss. Yeah, you don't care now. That would be a hit on anybody else. They both Well, no, I'm moving, so it's not total defense at the moment. Oh, so then the last one was a 25. That's a hit. Alright, so they hit you.

The one up top hits you for 10 points of damage and will attempt to grab you. Shit. For free. I hate that they can do that on Attack of Opportunity. That seems silly. And does not grab you. Oh, thank God.

That is huge. That would have sucked. That would have sucked. Huge. Can you use the belt underwater? Matthew, sorry. Spoiler. God.

I was just wondering. And then I'm going do I mean you tell me 15 What? 15 against CMD Oh it's a mess And then I'm gonna do Total defense again

I can't believe that Nice So just step into the middle of them And do total defense You moved up They both reach out One of them gets a chunk on you But it can't

It can't hold on to you You're too small Too little buddy You're slippery when wet Alright the one that Nestor just came up One of them gets a chunk on you, but it can't hold on to you. You're too small. Too little, buddy. You're slippery when wet. All right, the one that Nestor just came up and stabbed. The one that Baron shot as well. We'll do two claw attacks on Nestor.

First claw, 21. That's a hit. Okay. That's going to be 12 points of damage. Attempts to grab Nestor Natty19 Oh dear Grabs Nestor So it's got Nestor in his claws

And then it will attempt to attack at a minus 2 With its other hand while holding you 22 Uh oh So this one comes up Gets him And then the second claw And now he's in his grasp

For another 10 points of damage So Nestor is being held. I'm in bad shape again. What are they going to do? Sir Will. Alright, this one here that missed on the attack of opportunity will attempt to attack Sir Will. The one in the back

is going to swim up and attempt to attack Sir Will. And then this one here that just did an attack of opportunity on Will is going to swim up and attempt to attack D Will. And then this one here that just did an attack of opportunity on Will is going to swim up and attempt to attack Della. Alright. I have cover, right? I'm around the corner.

You have cover, but we already established that if you have swim speed, I'm allowing five foot steps so it will get both if it attacks off on you. Just add to your AC. Plus four or plus two? Plus two. Okay. That first one your AC. Alright, so... Plus four or plus two? Plus two. Okay. That first one there, Sir Will, is going to get two attacks on you.

And the one that swam up is going to get one. And they both have to get natural 20s, right? Yes, unless they have the intelligence to realize that they need to be less precise. Right, right. Okay. Miss. Oh!

27. That is a hit. Yeah. I took off Power Attack this time around and rolled a natty 19. God damn it. The second one... It's exactly 27. The second one hits for seven points of damage because Power Attack is off,

and then we'll attempt that free grab. Man, I cannot get my grabs going. I didn't realize CMB went down with Power Attack. Okay, so now it's going to be, you get a little bonus with grab. You get a plus 4, 19 against CMD. No. Okay. Your CMD also goes up when you do Total Defense.

Okay. All right, all right. So not grab. So you've avoided two grabs, Sir Will. But your boy Nestor is in bad shape. The one that swam up will attempt to do one claw attack and misses. Yes. And then the one in the back, Della, you're going to get a plus two to your AC, is going to attempt two claws.

You don't want to have two of these guys grab. Natural. What? Oh, yeah! Let's confirm it. You can confirm. There's a good odds you have cover. Oh, not confirmed. 23? That's my AC. Oh,. There's a good odds you have cover. Oh, not confirmed.

23? That's my AC. Oh, son of a bitch. No fan fumble. But not a hit. And still not grappled. It will attempt its second attack. Another natural one.

Yes! Now you're going to miss. Now you're going to miss. Can I make? Now you're going to fumble. No! All right. It must be that beautiful blue hair, just translucent.

It's like waving in the underwater. Fumble! Yeah! 16. Oh, beautiful. Oh, fan fumble. Fan natural attack fumble. Oh, boy.

Oh, boy. Fumble! This is where it gets bad if Nestor's grappled and then Della gets grappled and then somebody else gets grappled. What are you going to do? And Nestor's in bad shape and nobody can heal him. Alright, Troy. Roll

2d20s. 2d20s? And then add them up. Add the bonus. Wow, this is crazy. 2d20s. What do you think I rolled? A 9 total. A 9! Get those low rolls out of the way. So, is it just going to be impossible to ever get number 1 with our current system? Because it's

a minimum 2. Alright, well this is you know, I had to mix I had to mix melee and natural attacks, but we can work with this. This is Jason from Glenallen, Virginia. A pitiful attack. Highlighting pit.

No one could see your air quotes. Yeah, the air quotes are a visual thing. Good radio. Your weapon, we'll say the claw. Your claw does no damage and is pinned between the creature's arm and torso. You must spend a standard action and a strength check

to free it. So Della grabs his arm. Oh, nice. I grapple you, bitch. Wait, wait, wait. It's pinned on the creature it attacked? Yeah. So he attacked Della and she grabbed his hand. Okay, or it's like caught on her clothes. Right. Yeah, they could be that too. She wouldn't be physically grabbing it, so it's like caught on her clothes. Oh, no, no. I like the

thought of her pinning it between her arm and her side. Okay. It's a pitiful attack. Yeah, the inner armpit. She traps it, and you must spend a standard action and then do a strength check, DC 10 plus Della's strength modifier to free it.

So a DC 10 strength check. But it's a standard action to do that, so you can't do it this turn. And is it grappled? Is it considered grappled? Well, it's not really going to matter. Okay, so it's just stuck. I would say, yeah, if someone grappled? Is it considered grappled? Well, it's not really going to matter. Okay. So it's just, it's stuck. It needs to spend its time. I would say, yeah, if someone attacks it, I would lower its AC this round because it's distracted by Della.

All right. Let's see how it all shakes out. Not too shabby, fellas. Nice. That was good. Good job. Thank you. Was it Jason?

Jason. I think that was everybody. Jason from Glen Allen, Virginia. First one steps up. Two claws on Nestor grapples him. The second one, I think it was miss, miss. Maybe it got a hit off. The third one miss, hit on Sir Will,

could not grab. And then the fourth one, two fumbles, one confirmed on Della. Not a great round for your old buddy Troy. Della, you got this thing underneath your armpit. So, if I were to do a touch attack, do I get any kind of bonus because I'm already touching him?

Ooh, I wonder. Do you have to physically touch it with your hand? Yeah, that's all a touch attack. Do I get any kind of bonus because I'm already touching him? Oh, I wonder. Do you have to physically touch it with your hand? Yeah, that's all a touch attack is. I mean, I would say he's already got the penalty for being grabbed. I'll give you a penalty to its AC, so it's easier to touch. Touch AC. Great. Shocking grasp. No, it will kill us all.

Shocking grasp. Kill us all. We're not going to get out of here anyway. Happy birthday. Try it to see what happens. We'll do a little frigid touch. Oh, that's cold. I'm loving this frigid touch. It's cold! Black magic.

90-19. Oh, boy. Yep. That'll do. That'll hit. That'll hit. Beautiful. Stagger this motherfucker, man.

15 points of damage, and you're staggered for one round. Excellent. Staggered and, well, the only action it can take anyways. It could have taken a move action, but now it can't. Nice job. Do you have anything else? Nope. I'm going to keep

holding it. Umla. Now does Umla have a clear line at the guy now that he's stepped up? He does. Yes, he does. Sir Will moved out of the way. All right. So I could just do that.

Yeah, I'm most good. Now, if I were to attack the guy that's grappling Nestor, does he get a bonus to his AC? Because he grappled with Nestor. Yeah, and you might also hit Nestor on a natty one with that spear. And he's low on HP. All right. I'm most going to trust that. It's been a while since that rule even came into effect.

Well, the guy that's grabbing me has already been hit pretty well once before. Can I? Go ahead. Yeah, concentrating our damage is so

important, but it's also a big risk. I don't want to hit you with heart spit. Yeah. Take this other guy out.

All right. I'm going to do a full attack, three attacks on the other guy. And he just took all that damage from Della.

And this is the one that has Della. Come on, dude. Della's got a pin under her arms. Do this. Do this. This looks that damage from Della. And this is the one that has Della. Della's got a pin under her arm. Do this. Do this. This looks amazing.

Yeah! 14. This is going to be 20 plus 12. 26 to hit. Yeah. 26, that is a hit. All right. Hard spit.

That clear shot. 46 plus 6. Come on, buddy. Whoa! Two sixes. And a one. And a one. 17 points of damage

It's only 10 feet away from the moon But we're aiming at this one here You have to be 15 feet, don't you? Oh, yeah Well, that's his first attack That's his first attack That's fine He can only do one attack

Alright, so I move back five feet And I'll take the stab at that guy 17 points of damage 17 points of damage So you F it up Dylan's just holding it there under her arm and feeling it going limp. All right. Unfortunately, Umblo did have to move because it moved up to attack Della.

Did it have concealment? Because Umblo moved then? Oh, yeah. We haven't rolled a single concealment. Or do I have concealment? Oh, yeah. You didn't roll concealment when you hit me either. All right.

So let's start rolling concealment. Let's get back on track. So I have to roll concealment to get against this guy? Starting next round I shouldn't even have said anything about concealment, such a pain in the ass Now I just imagine there's all this blood in the water I love the image though, all the silt coming up

You know what, for the sake of argument now that like a round and a half is gone everybody's got concealment There's just like blood and silt everywhere. That makes sense. So 20% missed chance on every attack. Right. And now we're going into round three.

So that's the result of the first two rounds. Baron. Baron, at the same time wanting to save his companion, Nestor Coin, remembers the time he took an arrow to the back. And he purposefully aims at Nestor? No. Wow. That's canon. That took a turn.

His AC's down, man. That's cold. Can I take a shot at him? I might miss. It's just fumbling. Only a natural one. At this guy. And you don't have precise shot at him? I might miss. It's just fumbling. Wait, Nester? Only a natural one. At this guy. I'm loading an old save. And you don't have precise shot, right? I do. Alright, so you're aiming

at this guy? Uh-huh. Alright, so you're shooting through five feet of water and Nester. And Nester. So plus four to its AC. 26. That is a hit. Yes! Yeah! AC 25 at that point.

1d10 plus 2d6 You have a chance to save Nestor's life 1d10 plus 2d6 That is not too shabby 20 points And you kill the one The one that has Nestor That's awesome Roll for concealment

If you miss this 21 or higher Don't even think about it Nester, that's awesome. Oh, but you know what? Roll for concealment. Oh, no. If you miss this, Grinch, don't even think about it. 21 or higher. Grinch! I actually like for the podcast rolling concealment after it's done because this guy there. After I already said it's dead?

30, 37. It is dead. So, Nester, you feel like it was just going to squeeze you and it goes limp and lets you go. And now it's your turn, Nestor. You're out. Oh, there's just blood all in the water.

Oh, man. Imagine this. Yeah, just red water. Now that I'm this beat up, I'm going to get out of there. Okay. I'm going to move backwards. I'm going to go. Yeah, I'm going to move through the water back behind Della.

We've seen this before. We've seen this before. Is he bleeding? Is he bleeding? Is he bleeding? All right. Nestor is smart. Nestor gets out of there to go chug a poach or something. Sir Will.

Total defense. And I'm going to do the underwater equivalent. I know it's tough because of all the underwater combat rules, but I want to make sure they know I'm saying terrible things about their mothers. That's what you just said? That doesn't sound very... Do they hear it? Your mother's a wolf!

That doesn't sound very lawful good. No, it's not. I just want them to attack me. So I'm staying there, total defense. Alright, mirror number one is dead. It's down to old two, three, and four. Alright, let's start with two. This is the one that can only take a standard action to free itself.

It's stacked, so it just... DC 10 strength check. All right, he wants to try and wrench his way out. It should be easy. Great strength. Wasted 19. Yeah, pulls itself through the devil. Nice! Wasted that nice.

That's all it can do that round. All right. All right, All right. This one here, realizing it's having trouble hitting Sir Will, swims past Sir Will. Is Sir Will going to take an attack of opportunity? No. Okay. It goes to attack.

Well, actually. It's up to you. If you do it, do you then give up the right to be in total defense? Is total defense a full round action? No, it's a standard action. It's a standard action to have it on. I think you can take it. You know what? No, I'm not. Yeah, yeah, I will take it

because his lance is still only five feet because it's small. So when it starts moving, I'll just take a step. I don't know the rule for that. It's one of those nitty gritty ones. It's just kind of fun and it's going to be totally insignificant. Yeah. So here he goes. Natty 19! Yeah! So he hits him and he does full damage. That's four points of damage. Four points of damage. So here he goes. Natty 19! Yeah! So he hits him, and he

does full damage. That's four points of damage. Four points of damage. So he manages to get a little stab in. You can't make attacks of opportunity while using total defense. He takes no points of damage. Good. I like that better. Yeah, that makes sense. Alright, so number four. Get that down.

Okay. Okay. Now, that one is going to attempt to... Excuse me. One attack on Baron, and then the other one is going to keep trying to hit Sir Will. So this is number four here. Let's take Power Attack off and just go miss on Baron. So then the other one here,

this really just cannot get at Sir Will. It's come close. Attack number one. 26. Natty 19 again. Big middle finger from Joe O'Brien. Wait, is it really a miss? 26? Yes. Oh, damn it! It's 27,

bud. Oh, I left fucking power attack on. Aha! Yes! Sounds like a personal problem. Damn it, I switched it. Sounds like a personal problem. Did you want to retcon it like we do all the time? No. I'm going to play.

Oh, wow. That was on a 20 and then it cracked. And a miss. Son of a bitch. That was a hit. Yeah. It was a hit. It was.

Well, you hadn't rolled concealment, so. Yeah, that's true. Don't be too sad. That's true. I don't get upset with my characters, Miss Jo. I don't get upset. Yeah. Della, you're up.

They don't even have names. What did you say? They don't even have names. Why would he get upset. Yeah. Della, you're up. They don't even have names. What'd you say? They don't even have names. Why would I get upset? His name is Steve! Fuck you, Steve! Somebody take out Steve! Della's just gonna do a full attack action. On the one in front of you that's already pretty beat up. The one whose arm I had

pinioned. Right. And has cover. You feel close to him. Partial cub. Partial cub. I'm just going to stab three times with the star knife. Don't forget concealment. And concealment. Okay, so first stab. First stab.

Star knife. 26 to hit. Roll for concealment. Roll for... Yeah, 77. Roll for damage. One boy of damage. Oh!

That's a lot of work for one boy of damage. Ah, nice stabbing in the dark. That's another hit. Concealment. Miss. Miss on the concealment. Oh, shit. And then third attack.

Oh, no. Natural one. Oh, no! Don't confirm it. This is your lowest bonus. 16. Oh, no. Confirm!

No! Oh, no! Roll two d20s. Oh, no. Confirmed! No! Oh, yeah! Roll 2d20s. You gotta come up with a custom number randomizer for this list. Because you'll never get one. What's that? Number one's never gonna get pulled.

Number one is not a slashing weapon. 27. 27. I didn't know you were a Bowie fan. Oh, yeah. Holy crap. Who isn't a Bowie fan?

Well, I mean, he has bad taste in everything. Well, in music he does. It's to death. Your character dies. Peter or Peter? It might be a typo. Peter from Essex, England. An international fumble.

Jolly old England. Scat footed. Oh, no. You shit on your own foot? You don't know if you just strained too hard or if it was some dodgy trail rations you had earlier. Oh, you do? Either way, the snake's out of the cave. Take 1d4 charisma damage and you are flat footed for 1d4 rounds

let me just get this straight wait no save 1d4 charisma damage no save damage cause you shit your pants yeah cause we're all gonna think less of her now we're gonna think less of her now that she shit herself

in the bottom of her that's not good we all stink to high heaven We're going to think less of her now that she shit herself in the bottom of it. Oh, no. That should be so horrible. That's not good. Please, we all stink to high heaven. But none of us have pooped ourselves. And Della does not care about it. It's my AC, so roll your fortitude. Natty, my AC. That's up.

28. All right. You do not poop your pants. Scat footed. I love it. You're curating these, right? What is wrong with 1D4 Charisma Damage? This is on par with Bumbles.

Joe, this is a clean show. I don't want poop in here. Yeah, I think his issue is with your love of the scatological. Hey, it's funny. We're having fun. DJ Scat Cat. These things happen in battle, Grant. To the best of us.

Omlo, you're up. All right, since Del did one point of damage roses full round attack Amlo's gonna do a full round attack on this guy that was hit

he's so dumb I'm so excited this guy's dead first attack twenty four twenty four that is a hit

yes there you go concealment oh concealment 79 got it okay and that was 11 11 plus 6 right Concealment. Oh, damn it. Concealment. 79. Okay. And that was 11.

11 plus 6, right? Yep. Yeah. So 17 points. 17. So almost stabs past Del's poop. It's floating there and kills the marrow. Yeah.

All right. Two down. Two down. And he can take another attack at this one. He can take another attack at the other. I can do my other two attacks. Yeah, that's a clean shot there. That's a clean shot.

Natty, 16. Let's do the concealment. Oh, my God. Another miss. All right. Third attack. Wow. Concealment is huge.

Miss. No, it's a miss. Oh, God damn it. We are doing a... Wow. Did you already do your will save? They're giants. No, I haven't.

We have a roll save. Fail. So he's going to keep attacking. That totally changes everything. Does he also begin to rage, though? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He gets real tuned up.

You haven't played Umla in a while, Matthew. That was your house rule. That was mine. Skid's house rule. We're all the same to him. Skid, we're just player characters in his player game. Round four. I mean, things are pretty good, but Nestor's

out of the fight right now. Baron, you're up. Baron is going to bravely, bravely, I want to underline that. In his biography. Takes a full round action to reload his crossbow. Okay.

And we'll provoke. That's why it's brave. If you want it. Absolutely. I want to do some damage here. I want to hurt. Let me know what rocks you're rolling with, bro. And what do you get?

24. Miss. Yeah. What? Because I get plus four against giant subtypes. Nice. They succeed defensive trainers. Son of a biscuit.

So should I. All right. All right. All right, Baron. Oh, really? Nestor, you're up. So Nestor steps back out of the fray. He has one pure moderate potion left, and he's going to drink it.

Ah, okay. Now, does he drink it it or does he breathe it? There are rules on that, I'm pretty sure. You know, there are. I think they do. And there was actually, I was just reading, there was an article I read on Kotaku a year ago, and I was just looking it up again.

A very serious Dungeons & Dragons player, I hate to mention the name of the rival, because there was a dispute about this with his DM, and so he took a bottle of wine underwater and drank it to prove how easy it is to drink underwater and he said it's the easiest thing in the world a four-year-old could do it if they could buy wine uh so yeah so five seven ten points of healing to me nice getting a You gotta get Gwen to the wine store, Joe. Have I talked to you about that lately? I hear it's good on a baby's bottle. Send her down.

Pin a 20 to her bib. All right. Oh, boy. I believe this is Sir Willament. We're having fun. ASF, so Nestor drinks his potion, and it's Sir Will. I hate to bore you all, but I just gotta stick with the total defense. I'm standing in front of this guy.

It's the best thing in the world. It is easily your best strategy. Yeah. You're using the Sir Will defense. The Sir Will defense. Or the Joe O'Brien, really. Oh, stop it. Oh, boy.

I would love to do damage. Full attack on Baron here. Let me just make sure I have all my things I want correctly here. Baron. Oh, that AC is rough. So, all right. First claw. Miss. Oh, that AC is rough. So, alright. First claw. Miss. Damn it! Second claw.

Damn it! Oh, now I gotta text their will. What a waste. Alright. You got neon green. Least power attacks off. Here we go. 21. And then miss. Miss. So, they're just clawing in the dark here.

You know what we're actually being protected by is divine providence. The gods are starting to protect us. But what gods, Baron? Torak, for me. Maybe Minderhall. Maybe Minderhall is protecting Sir Will right now. Maybe. Drovoguk.

Hail Drovoguk. The earth opens, a red flame comes through. Rips her will into the bowels of the earth. That's a little dirty. Hail Titan. Hail Satan. Della is going to hold. Oh! Very undella-like.

Shades of Barry Connick Jr. Should I say... Umla. Umla, now raging, is going to take a full attack on this one guy. First attack, plus 15. Gotta do it. Natural 20. Gotta do it. 25. Okay, that is a hit.

Yeah, 97. 97, that means he doesn't want to damage him. On the mark. 10 plus. 16 points of damage. 16 points of damage. Second full attack at the full bonus Seventeen, miss

Damn Third attack Come on, baby Come on, baby Twenty-three Okay, that is a hit Defeat Yes

Thirty-one Oh, nice Twenty-two points of damage Twenty-two hit points left Yeah! So he's staggered. It's staggered, yeah. He is at zero, yep.

Yep. Thank you for reminding me. And it is Baron's turn. Next round. Finish him. So this guy's dead, right? No, he's at zero. Okay, so I'm going to just say...

He has ferocity. Wait, can't you do up close and deadly? Does it have to be a gun? I believe it does have to be with a gun. All that stuff is tied into the weapon. If only I'd put on power attack. I know I wouldn't have hit the last one. Oh, that was a long one, but that is a hit.

Yeah. Concealment, though. Concealment. Concealment. And it got a plus. Yeah, plus. That's good. Concealment.

Yeah, there you go. Three. Here we go. Oh, it's a D10. D10. Where's my D10? There's my D10. Here we go. This one has yet a D10. D10. Where's my D10? There's my D10. Here we go.

This one has yet to be hit. 8 plus 4, 12. 20 points of damage. Which one did you aim for? This one? This one. Okay. Oh, he's dead.

The one that's hero. Permanently dead. Now he's permanently dead. Okay, now. Because I would have had to move a lot. Right, right. Plus he gets bonuses and all that nonsense. Okay, so the other one has yet to be hit.

Right. Nestor's turn. Plus he gets bonuses and all that nonsense. Okay, so the other one has yet to be hit. Right. Nestor's turn. I'm just going to hold. Nestor holds. Sir Will, standing face to face. This defensive strategy has worked, but now you are face to face with an evil creature. Yes. Staring you down.

Yes. Hovering over you. Sir Will is going to, yeah, he's going to stay in total defense. Okay. We'll see what he does. We'll put the ball in his court. Man, you know, it's one of those conundrums. It's like, I know that it's almost impossible to hit you,

but I want to try. All right. Two attacks on Sir Will. Yes! You fool! Also, technically, it's conundra. Conundra? Ooh.

Never heard that. Someone knows his Latin plurals. Miss. Miss. Natty six, Natty two. Natty six, Natty two. Yeah, it's a gender neutral. Okay.

Della, you're out. Let's start finishing this game. Mop up duty here. Mop up duty. Della's going to hold. Della holds. Umla. Umla's going to step up and stab.

All right. One attack. I guess he has to roll a save first, right? Bale's a save. All right. So he's still raging. To the death. One attack.

He only has like one round left of rage, right? 18 is a miss. Goes back to Baron next round. Baron is going to spend the entire round on the ground reloading the crossbow in this weird accent. All right. Nestor. Hold. Hold. All right, Nestor. Hold. Hold. All right, Sir Will. Sir Will,

what the hell? He's going to attack. All right! He's going to go... That is a 21. Hits exactly. Glancing blow, half damage. Consummate.

Damn, you granted hits exactly. Glancing blow, half damage. Wait, concealment, concealment. Oh, concealment! Damn, you granted a rule following 54. And he does two points of damage. He's adorable. By the rose and the light. Okay, and that's all you got. No, I have a second attack, actually.

Sure, why not? And I miss. Alright, the marrow realizing the futileness of the situation, will step up. And you can take an attack of opportunity if you'd like, Sir Will. I surely will. And Umlo. And Umlo. And the arms.

And the arms. Realizes he's outnumbered. Miss from Sir Will. 27 for Umlo. Umlo hits. Well, concealment. Got it. Nice.

69. Yeah, very nice. Got it. Nice. 69. Yeah, very nice. 19 points of damage. 19 points of damage. Jeepers. No, 20. Sorry, Rage. Oh, yeah.

Okay. All right. I hate you guys. All right. Going to go after Della here. Dammit! Another natural two! All right, gonna go after Della here. Damn it! Another natural two! Two!

All right, whose turn is it now? Della's turn. What do you got, Del? It's right up in your grill, ten feet away. She'll take three attacks with her star knife. Star knife! Let me ask you what you're doing strategically. Are you holding back on using spells, or are you out of spells?

I'm holding back. Okay. Are you stepping into his range? Yeah, you're not going to be able to take him all the way. You'd have to take an attack of opportunity probably. No, the Della actually will risk the attack of opportunity and get out of it. Oh, okay. You can just withdraw.

Yeah, you're fine. All right, I'll just withdraw. So do you want to go further than just one? No. Okay. All right, so this one withdraw. So do you want to go further than just one? No. Okay. All right, so this one's stepped up. Della pulls out. Umla.

Umla. It's going to be all Umla. We'll move. Umla moves back, and he provokes when he does that. I provoke. You provoke. Remember, plus four to his AC. Miss.

Umla misses as well. Unless it's 20 hits. No, it does not. Can't finish it off. Wow. All right, Baron, you're loaded up. This is a speed round, guys. Speed round.

Baron's just wondering, who would have thought underwater combat would be so laborious? That is not speedy, Grant. 5, 10, 15, 20. Taking a minus two penalty to this attack. You can only move half your movement. I have 40. He's hasted. Oh, I forgot we're hasted. I could have penalty to this attack. You can only move half your movement. I have 40. He's hasty. Oh, I forgot we're hasty.

I could have done a third attack. Hey, Joe, Joe. We are stupid, but you are stupid because you got that wrong. All right. How far away are you? I'm just one square.

Five feet away. That's going to provoke. That's fine. Attack me. Did he already use his attack of opportunity? My memory? No, he did not.

All right. So he will attack Baron. Come on. Where's my natty toy? Oh, wait. No, he did. He attacked Umlo, he did not. So he will attack Baron. Where's my natty toy? No, he did. He attacked Umlo when he stepped back. Oh, you're right. Plus two to his AC. That's great. Natural 20!

Critical throw! Critical! Critical! It's exploding dice if it's not. That is a hit. But I have to do concealment. Critical. Critical.

Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. What is the confirmed roll? 28. Okay, that is confirmed. Crit if the concealment is 64.

All right, we got a crit. We got crits. We got bubbles. We got a crit just in that E20. Everything must go. Roll a 20. I have to... Oh, right, right, right.

Roll a D20. What? Number one. There you go. Roll a 20. Oh, right, right, right. Or a D20. One. Number one. There you go. This one's from Matthew, but we don't have where he's from somehow. I don't know how that happened. His last name is B. It was Matthew B.

Matthew B. He's from Anchorage. Thank you, Matthew B. from Anchorage, Alaska. All right. From lovely Anchorage. I'm going to slightly reword it here. Bolt to the groin. He wrote an arrow to the groin.

Bolt to the groin. Normal damage. Target is sickened for 1d6 rounds. Movement speed halved. That's a DC 15 heal check. Come on! Wow. So, normal damage. Which is double damage.

No, no, no. It's just normal with a crossbow. But it's giant, so you get your extra 2d6. An exploding die? Oh, no. Oh, hit him No, no. Oh, hit him right in the groin with the balls! You know why? It's because they're so sexy.

These stupid, sexy marrows. They just keep on looking at their groin. Oh, that's a good... Nice. That is a really nice roll. That is a 25 points of damage. 25 points of damage? Wow.

Dead. Yeah! Yes! Right through the groin. points of damage. 25 points of damage? Wow. Dead. Yeah! For they were jolly good marrows, for they were jolly good marrows, for they were jolly good marrows. And all of them died.

And now they all have died, and now they all have died, for they were jolly good marrows, for they were jolly good marrows. Wow. Oh, man. Swe John and Ferris. Wow. Oh, man. Sweaty summertime apartment.

Recording. I wish we were underwater right now. It's so much cooler. You guys want to hit up the wet bar later? Hell yeah, man. It's cheeky. I want to hit up this statue immediately. Yeah, man.

Let's get this statue up in this piece. Sir Will is very, very excited about the prospect of what knowledge this room holds. All right, so you want to check out the statue. Yes, yes. Lying in front of you, these Marrow's bodies are just kind of floating there. Pools of blood starting to dissipate so you can see a little more clearly. And it's not long before the light from Nestor's sword, if he's back in the room, or definitely from Sir Will, wherever the light is on your lance, gleams up again at that statue's faceless visage.

What do you do? Dead bodies floating by. Sir Will is going to approach the statue. And he's going to pull the crown thing that he found, the headband off of his belt, and just sort of slowly approach and look at the disc. He wants to look at the disc that's in the hands. You see this disc? It's just covered with algae.

So he'll start. Can he reach it? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you're going to have to maybe tread water up a little bit. Or get a boost from somebody. Yeah. I mean, you're going to have to maybe tread water up a little bit. Or get a boost from somebody. Yeah. It's a little high up.

I mean, he can't tread water. He has 50 pounds on. So if somebody could give him a boost, which shouldn't be too tough. You can stand on barren shoulders. I have the slow and steady racial feat. So it makes sense that I could just have you stand on my shoulders. All right. So you boost him up.

And what are you doing? You're just kind of cleaning? Yeah, I'm wiping and pulling the algae off of my shoulders. Alright, so you boost him up and... What are you doing? You're just kind of cleaning? Yeah, I'm wiping and pulling the algae off of the disc. Okay, as you're wiping it away you see that it is in fact not stone, but gleaming

silvery mithril. Inscribed with giant roots. It's the prayer. It's the prayer. I think it's runes. It's the prayer. It's the prayer. I think it's the prayer. It can't be. Do a knowledge religion! Can I do a knowledge religion?

What are you doing? Are you touching it? Oh yeah, I'm pulling the ivory off of it and then as I see the runes, Sir Will is like touching the runes. I mean, his hands are pretty much gauntleted, but like, yeah, he's gonna touch the runes and run his hands over the runes. I mean, his hands are pretty much gauntleted, but yeah, he's going to touch the runes and run his hands over the whole thing.

Just running his hands over it? Yeah. What do you want to do? A knowledge religion? Yeah, a knowledge religion. Okay, roll knowledge religion. No, I don't want to do touch the law because I think I need a high roll. What's your bonus?

Plus six. I don't want to do technical law because I think I need a high roll. What's your bonus? Six. Plus six. I probably need a good roll. Fuck. I mean, the disc is too high for you, Baron. You can't reach it. It has to be pulled out. So, Sir Will, you're looking at it.

And even with that, do you have linguistics? No. Della does. I do as well. So can I move it? Is it like... It is movable. Okay, I would like to try to shimmy it out of the hand

so I can bring it to Baron or Della. You put your hands on it after you've been cleaning it off. Now you pull it to kind of unlock it, and you, like, wedge it out. And you kind of lose yourself in it for a moment, and it seems like the runes are beginning to glow. And, Mr. Will, you, like, black out for a moment. And it seems like the runes are beginning to glow. Oh. And, Mr. Will, you, like, black out for a moment.

Oh. And you open your eyes, and you're standing in this great hall. Oh. What? And if you take a second and look to your left and you look to your right, it looks exactly like the great hall that you just walked through to get to here. It's the Minder Hall! But hundreds and hundreds of years ago.

And you blink and now it's full of giants at a ceremony. And up on the dais you see a woman, a tall female giant dressed in priestess's robes. And she turns around to the congregation and she has

the same disc in her hands oh my god and she addresses them and she's like I, Rosag preserver of the forge in the name of Mindelhall bring forth fire from

water, death will pay for life and life of Minderhall. Bring forth fire from water. Death will pay for life, and life for death. She raises it up over her head. She's like, Be immutable. Be ever-changing. Eb and flow like water. Be everything

and nothing. Make and unmake. And the crowd just like rises up, and she holds this disc aloft, and it just starts glowing. And all of a sudden, the room goes dark, and you just see the same dais, but in a completely empty black space.

And you see your brother Benric lying in bed. He looks like he's lost 60 pounds since you've seen him last. There's no one else there but him and he's just

well, well, well, Willamette, Will. Will. Will. Willamette. Please save me. Oh, shit. Oh, my God.

Please, Willamette. Save me. And then, Baring, you, like, feel Sir Will falling off of your shoulders and sir will you collapse unconscious for a moment i love like floating slowly through the water with cannon there was a diamond with the weight with the weight of the disc like pulling you down to the ground and Baron, you just feel him fall off. And I hold him. It's light enough here in water.

I know he's still really heavy with everything. I hold him in my arms like he's a child of mine. And I'm just worried about him. And he's holding the disc. And I try to move my hand across his face and wake him up a little bit um after a moment or so he comes through and he looks like changed like pale ghastly pale imagine this is all happening underwater yeah Yeah, yeah. And then since we can't really talk right now, I just basically say, are you okay?

Are you all right? Can you exit? I can't see us having a conversation about what happened. But I feel okay? Yeah. Like a little disoriented, but not like... A little disoriented and kind of nauseous. Can I do a linguistics

or religion check on that thing that made him black out? Yeah, sure. Roll linguistics. That's a 14. Religion. There's a 23. I'll do linguistics on it as well. Yeah, I mean, you obviously know that this is some sort of

prayer, but you cannot decipher it. I didn't get it through linguistics, so I'll try again later. These runes are beyond any of your comprehension. I do actually also have linguistics, technically, because I wanted to take more languages. Oh, all right. Yeah, roll linguistics. But I don't think I should be able to roll, because my concept is that Nestor, while he can speak giant, he can't read it.

Oh, I like that. So I don't think I should be able to hold this. Like he's picked it up as a prisoner of theirs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He picks up languages just to learn all the swear words. Yeah, pretty much. Well, that was a big thing in our friend Chris Merwin's Shadowlands campaign setting was they rewrote the rules on linguistics

because they were like there's a big difference between speaking a language and reading a language. Yeah, yeah. And you had to have different points. And even just having a general knowledge of how language works is different than learning a specific language. Did Nestor and Della and Umloat, are they still

outside or did they come into the room as well to look at the marrows or to look at the statue as Sir Will was going for it? Nestor comes around the corner. He's still eyeing the rest of the space, like the open doorways, making sure that nothing else is coming. All right, so you came into the room, but you're kind of watching behind to make sure.

And Baron is again going to do, sorry, a stone counting check in this room, if that's okay. Okay, yeah. That is a 32. Yeah, everything looks okay in this room. I mean, obviously it's a pretty bad state of disrepair, but you don't feel like the ceiling's going to cave in on you or anything. Della also came to the room when Will fell. She came in to see what was up.

Okay, just bodies in the mirrors. Slowly the water is getting clearer now. The blood and the silt has dissipated. Every time you move forward, you kick up more of it, but it just goes away now that you're out of combat. Sir Will, if he's of right enough mind and body to gesture, you know, that the plate is it, this is it, this is what we came for, he just wants to let them know somehow.

You know what's weird, too? I just thought of it, because we're breathing in water, like we're breathing them know. Great. Somehow. You know what's weird, too? I just thought of it. Because we're breathing in water. Like, we're breathing in blood. Yeah. Like, there's clouds of blood everywhere, and then we're breathing it in. Mostly that of our enemies.

Mostly. Breathing the blood of our enemies. Yeah. So, Sir Will kind of gets to his feet. I'm assuming he's got this disc, and it's a big disc. You're a little guy. This thing is, like, you know, it's holding this huge discus,

and you still don't know what this statue was. Was it Rosag? Was it Minderhall? Was it some other deity? Sir Will would like to try to see if there's any effect if he puts the headband on the statue. If he puts the headband on the statue. If he puts the headband on the statue. All right, so if he gets another boost up from Baron and puts it on there, it doesn't quite fit.

Oh. Okay. Yeah. It wasn't meant. So maybe the body was Rosag or another priest or priestess, and this was a statue of Minderhall. Possibly. I just find it so crazy and ridiculous that her body would just be sitting in here on a dais, like, laying there. You would think somebody, like, so crazy famous would have been...

I mean, did she die when it sank? Did she die before? Did she go down with the temple? It seems like something happened in her effort to be everything. To be like water ebbing and flowing. To be here. To be everything. To be nothing.

And that's kind of really fascinating to me. That this could end so poorly. It's just very strange to me if you think about answering the questions of what happened to the temple. So, like, if it was abandoned here for hundreds of years and that's why it sank, her body and this headband would not have stayed there, nor would all of this treasure, nor would this plate.

You know, it would have been picked over. It might. Picked over by what? Scavengers, anything. Anyone. It's pretty hard to get down here. No, but I'm saying, if it was all up there before it sank.

Oh, I see. You know what I'm saying? It's possible that she, or whatever that skeleton was, was here when it sank. Yeah, I think there was some... Like it might have been a flood. Some event was triggered that sank this place

while it was still in operation. I'm starting to think it was less of time and more of maybe an attack of some kind. Some violence. Surely she would have already been dead unless she was like, I'm going to lay myself on the dais. Or her death and knowing that it was going to happen triggered some sort of deluge. Sir Will, roll a perception check. Okay, I'll lie about what I roll. Okay.

Natural three, man. I swear to God. All right. Nestor, roll a perception check. Perception check. That would be a 26. 26. 26.

Sir Will, I was having you roll to see if you noticed anything else interesting about the room but Nestor specifically said that he was keeping an eye on the passageways behind you and sure enough Nestor hears something coming around the corner

and it just swims up right to the entrance right in front of whoever's standing there at the door. It looks like Nestor and Umlo. It looks like a lobster with a thick armored shell. A pair of tiny eyes gleaming above a mouth full of writhing tentacles. Oh, what? This thing is a large creature.

It steps up right in front of Nestor and Umlo, and it looks like that! Oh! Oh, it's Cthulhu! And it basically looks like an underwater Cthulhu, and it just makes a noise underwater and goes to attack Nestor and Umlo! Oh, my God!

We'll see you next week. Roll for initiative instead! Roll for initiative instead! underwater and goes to attack Nestor and I'm low. Oh my god. We'll see you next week. Bye! No perdition instead! No perdition instead! He's a jolly good man, Ralph! He's a jolly good man, Ralph! He's a jolly good man, Ralph! And so say none of us! The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Powerhouse and Tate production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated.

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