The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 118 - Lake Flaccid

Episode Date: August 29, 2017

With the prayer of Rosag in hand, the party is overwhelmed by a vicious crustacean abomination. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that...

That's right! Did you know it's also covered by most private insurance plans? Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me Rebelsis ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca order up for Rebelsis this week on the Glass Cannon Podcast here's what I want to do

okay and then I'll tell you why and then you tell me why I can't no breaks get ready for the Joe's rolling train. Oh, my God. Oh, three ones on a 3D6. Oh, no. Wow.

No miracles. You can't use a bow in a water, you stupid idiot. I am furious. I don't know if Lexington. I can't move. No mercy. Oh, God, he's so vicious. The heroes fall victim to outrageous fortune.

Fail. Why am I still surprised, Skip? This is so unbelievable. No, it isn't! This is the most predictable thing in the world. And will lay everything on the line. Della just begins floating. Drops her scimitar.

For the fight of their lives. Jesus! Uh, okay. This is bad news. Um, I am down, down, down, down, down. And roll a fortitude save. The adventure continues. Oh, baby!

Right now. What's going on, everybody? Troy LaVallee here with another exciting episode of the Glass Cannon Podcast. The GCP if you're nasty. And oh, do we have a nasty episode for you today. That's all I'm going to say. Stop asking for spoilers. Just get ready for a wild one. We've talked about it ad nauseum at this point, but man, did we have a good time at Gen Con. I am still recovering. Actually, I think I've fully recovered at this point a little over a week later, but what an amazing time. It was so great to get to meet all these people that I've only seen their names in emails or their handles on Twitter or Twitch. Just what a wonderful group of people we have listening to this show that are now becoming

friends with each other. So thank you guys for coming out and spending some time with us either at our live show or the Slippery Noodle or throughout the weekend on the showroom floor or whatever. Thank you. Thank you for coming up to us and saying hello. And I'll tell you what, as excited as I am for next year's Gen Con, I am already amped for PAX Unplugged in Philly in November. If you're even thinking about possibly coming out to that, please come. It's going to be a great time. I mean, Matthew's coming. If Matthew's coming, then you guys have no excuses. That's right. I'm looking at you in London and Hong Kong. Get your asses to Philly. There's so much going on with the GCP right now. I can't even keep my head straight. You know, I've mentioned

this on social media before, but I don't think we've ever talked about it in the intro, but we have a brand new website ready to launch very, very soon. It's almost done. I'm working around the clock on getting this thing ready, and it is beautiful. We're going to have a merch store. We're going to have a blog. By the way, keep sending in those blog applications. We haven't even had a chance to go through all of them yet, so keep sending them in. Subject line, blog application, with some samples of your actual blog. Oh, you don't have a blog? Well, then start one. Start writing, and we will look through every single one of them because we're going to need people to help populate the blog on the new site. I've been staring at this thing now

for a couple months with a web designer, and I can't wait to share it with all of you. What else am I excited about? Oh, we're doing a second podcast of the first Starfinder Adventure Path Dead Sons. That's right. A little over a week ago, we hit the $10,000 goal on our Patreon, which means a second weekly podcast is coming to the Glass Cannon Network. I still can't believe that we hit that goal in under six months, but it just goes to show you the generosity of this GCP nation that is coming together organically over the love of the story that we're trying to tell. And now, because of that generosity, you're going to be able to listen to the GCP one day of

the week, and then a brand new show with all new characters and a whole new storyline on another day of the week in space. Well, you won't be listening in space. I don't know. Maybe we have a couple astronauts that are fans of the show. Call in. Listen, I could do a 40-minute intro on what's going to be happening with Starfinder, but just stay tuned. We have a lot to tell you in the coming weeks and months. But right now, you've got an episode to listen to. So I'll shut up. Guys, kick back, have a lemonade or maybe a whiskey and enjoy episode 118, Lake Flaccid. Lake Flaccid Trivia question for the four people

who you would think are the foremost experts on all things glass cannon. Today we're celebrating episode 118. Not a very special number. I all things, uh, taking all things into account.

What was the title of episode 18? 100 episodes ago. Here's a hint. It's one of the best titles people ever had. We're off to feed the lizard. Incorrect. Damn.

Fortune favors the boulder? Also incorrect. Damn it. Work out below. You guys are like right in the ballpark. I have no idea. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Off to the Feet of the Lizard is 20. Fortune Favors the Boulder is 19. Oh, wow. Lork Out Below is 21. Oh, I know what it is. I know what it is. It is From Here to Infirm Is He. That is correct.

That was one of Skid's favorites. Oh, God. One of the best titles of anything Ever From here to Infirm is here Can you believe that was 100 Weeks ago You know our fans are very loyal

And we love them I just wonder if they're really interested in listening to us Debate our own trivia and then praise ourselves For getting it right I nailed it. I nailed it. Whatever we just did, it was great. Yes.

That is undeniable. Everything out of our mouths and minds is spun gold. With a rumble stilkins of talking. Damn it, I am talking. All right. That was almost two years ago. Isn't that crazy? That is crazy. All right. That was almost two years ago. Isn't that crazy? That is crazy.

All right. So water breathing saves the day. We might all still die down here. I should point out there's only three minutes left in Umlo's hour. Because he only got an hour. The rest of you got two hours. That's not even remotely funny. So at the beginning of this fight, he needs to try and escape.

In his breastplate? Pretty sure he can't do it. So Umlo will start suffocating in three rounds. That's fair. So all he has to do is remove his armor, pass a dozen swim checks to get to the surface, and then he'll be fine. That's why he put one skill point in swim.

For moments like this. No, but you guys have two hours each. Umlo has one. Probably hasn't even been 30 minutes at this point. But just keep that in mind if you want to linger. I don't think you can rest down here, for example. Let's go back to when you first got into the temple. You come into this temple.

You go in attacked by a gar. You're all a little nervous about it. Nestor gets swallowed whole, immediately cuts himself out, and you guys make short work of it. Then you go in. You can go either to the left or the right. You decide to go to the right,

and you see a room in the distance with these concentric circles creating a platform, and on top of the platform are a bunch of stone, round, circular, spherical stones. You guys can't quite place what they do, if they do anything, but they seem very purposefully put there.

You just take them all, or you take some of them, I can't remember. And you walk back out, and you enter what probably was the Great Hall. Sir Will immediately sees a dais with a skeleton of a giant on it, climbs it, takes off a little crown. Or what was it? A headband or something. A tiara. A tiara. A circlet.

A torc. A torc, perhaps. You take that off and then... Thinking maybe this skeleton is Rose Ag? Maybe? Possibly. I don't know. It's a long shot, but that would be

awesome. And you see a statue in the room just beyond the dais. Meanwhile, Nestor sees a bunch of gleaming treasure in a far room near a fountain. You guys go up to the door and see a

creature. I think Baron was the one. So our creature kind of, there's a hole was the one. So our creature kind of, there's a hole in the ceiling swimming back and forth. So you're like, let's go check out the statue first and then we'll look at this room. So you guys slowly back out of there, go towards the statue.

There's another room, mind you, off to the further south to the right of where you entered the room with the statue. Enter the room with the statue, Marrow Fight. Sir Will just stands his ground further south to the right of where you entered the room with the statue. Enter the room with the statue, marrow fight. Sir Will just stands his ground, and I don't know if you ever got hit, because you just have total defense, total defense, total defense, and you were creating a wedge when Baron and Della came up as well.

There was no way for the marrows to get out of there to create better opportunities for them to fight. Very brave, you guys. I was actually thinking about this after. I was thinking of how his training at Highbury was probably very much so focused on defending himself because he would be so at risk and he would never deal a lot of damage and they knew that. And so I was just thinking of him sort of training in hand-to-hand with a lot of how to deflect blows and stuff like that.

So when he takes total defense, I just imagine him just very quickly, like being able to move quickly because he's so small, even though he's in heavy armor, to deflect blows and stuff, sort of like a Jason Bourne kind of thing is how I pictured it. Even underwater. Yeah. Move at the speed of light. He is a hero.

And mind you, as you guys are fighting, you're kicking up sediment, which is creating concealment for you and also helping out your engines. And blood, right? That was such a great image. And blood, yes. Just imagine as these bodies of the Marows are just floating there now. Oh, jeez. And then Sir Will inspects the statue, pulls out this disc that it was holding that looks as if it has the inscription of something on it in giant runes that you can't recognize. But Sir Will has this moment where he sees Rosag presiding over a ceremony when this temple used to be above ground.

And then has a moment where he sees his brother, Bemrick, in his deathbed or sickbed, calling out to Will to save him in a fever dream. Comes to and just slowly falls from the atop baron's shoulders and then baron is just sitting there holding him meanwhile nester is just watching their back and sure enough this tentacled lobster creature comes out from behind roll for initiative. We sure will, Nick Lowe.

All right. Who's playing Umlo today? I am playing Umlo this week. Umlo's going to die. Awesome. All right. What did Umlo roll? Umlo rolled a three.

Three. Okay. You know, I was going to say three before I even asked you. Actually, I'm sorry. Four. It's four. Four. Okay.

Baron. Baron rolled a 13. Oh. All right. Actually, I'm sorry. Four. It's four. Okay. Baron. Baron rolled a 13. Oh. All right. That's a natural one. Sir Will. Seven for Sir Willamette. Oh, no.

Della. 14. Oh, baby. Nestor? 29. There it is. There it is. All right.

Let me just put my creature in there as well. I still love this underwater effect. Yeah, it's awesome, right? That's so cool. By the way, I just looked it up. You have to divide the time of water breathing evenly among creatures you touch, but there's no requirement that it be an hour increments. We all have an hour and 36 minutes.

Excellent. Well, I should let you know, you have been underwater for an hour and 36 minutes. Excellent. Well, I should let you know, you have been underwater for an hour and 29 minutes. Well, so much for the treasure. Also, Sir Will is dead. Also, Sir Will is. Never going to get back in five minutes. I should let you know that I am going to murder you. If you want to post this.

Ridiculous. I should let you know. That would be the cruelest ending to a podcast ever. Both my murder and the decision to make you all drown It'd be like that part of Grizzly Man Where she's listening to the recording Of the bear You must never listen

To this episode of the podcast Round one Nestor, you are closest to this creature I certainly am, I don't wish to be. You and Umlo are out in the Great Hall here. And meanwhile, Della is closest to the exit. And Sir Will and Baron are pretty far away. They're at the statue with Baron cradling Sir Will.

Round one goes to Nestor. Great. So I I'm gonna get like I see this crab coming and I've got a I've got a bit of a complicated history with crabs of all kinds so I'm going to duck back I'm going to run around the corner

and we'll point frantically towards the door towards the creature alright so Nestor ducks back into the room with the shadow. Makes sense. Yeah, sure, he's got concealment, but his bow and arrow is useless, and the dagger is great, but this is a large, hideous-looking creature. Look at its mouth.

You said last time it looked like, what, Cthulhu. It's actually called a Chul. C-H-U-U-L. A Chul, perhaps. All right. Nestor says something out there. Bad. Della. Della is going to ready an action.

Okay. She's going to take a five-foot step back. It would be a move action. Can I do a move? You have a swim speed. Can I do a move action and then ready a standard action? Sure. All right. So she'll move action and then ready a standard action? Sure.

All right. So she'll move back, and then if once the creature gets in range, she's going to cast a spell. All right. When the creature gets in range, she is readying a spell. Baron. Baron. I'm so nervous about this combat, Troy. I've left my giant red D20 at home again, so I have to rely on the knockoff neon green D20. Okay.

Baron's going to spend a full round not moving, loading the crossbow, which I'm going to agree with you, would not be loaded as he was holding Sirwell. I appreciate it. I appreciate your adherence to the rules. All right. Let's see here.

It can move 20 feet. Can it get to Umlo? I do not think so. So's see here. It can move 20 feet. Can it get to Umlo? I do not think so. So 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35. This music got strangely calming. Yeah. 40. All right.

What a lovely day by the lake. It just double moves. It's got a swim speed up to, it's probably still about 20 feet away from Umlo, and it has the wall... Like, Nestor is right on the other side of the wall where this is. Della, I don't know if that's in... It does not activate. Okay, it does not activate.

Okay. It is Sir Will's turn. Sir Will, you come to, and, you know, you're floating there. Sir Will just kind of getting his bearings. I would imagine his lance is on the ground. He's got the plate in both of his hands, right? And he's just waking up from this. Correct.

So I think he's going to have to spend a time. So I think he's going to pick up the lance and just hold the plate. He doesn't want to let go of the plate. Ah, okay. So he drops a shield. He never had a shield. Okay. I mean, he has it on his back, but when he to make the lance two-handed

he can't use the shield, so. Okay, so now he's holding the lance one-handed? Yes. Okay. Yeah. Alright, very interesting. But he can't use it in combat. I appreciate you playing the fiction of the scene. Umlaut. Umlaut is this foolish chul

moved 15 feet away from Umlo. Well, actually, no, just barely not. So Umlo moves up, and he takes a power attack with heart. Spiat! Spiat! Natural four. That's a miss.

Here we go, guys. Joe's gonna roll. Get ready for the Joe's rolling train. I haven't heard that's a miss. Here we go, guys. Joe's going to roll. Get ready for the Joe's rolling train. I haven't heard that in a while. Four. Yeah. Underwater edition. Round two.

Okay. Let's also keep in mind, I'm rolling on most attack rolls, and he is the only character besides Della that can possibly do any real damage to a creature. This is true. So this is horribly dangerous. Keep in mind, 20% mischance for everybody. As long as you're walking along the ground here. Okay, so it is going to be Nestor's turn, top of round two.

All right, so I can move 20 feet, is that right? You can move half a feet. So Nestor's Going to try He's going to double move to try to get into position To eventually flank this thing Ah so taking like the long Way around Trying to avoid its reach

Goes through Umlo's square Making slowly Slowly making his way around Alright so Nester goes around there Gives the warning in the first run 5, 30. Making slowly, slowly making his way around. Alright, so Nestor goes around there, gives the warning in the first run, and now he doubles back to create some space basically now there's a triangle, Umlo, the Chul,

and Nestor. Alright, Della, it's back to you. Della's seeing Umlo engage and Nestor move out to engage, is gonna follow suit, she's gonna cast Mirror Image on on herself and then also slowly start moving around. Okay. So Mirror Image is how many images? I've got to roll for it.

Four Delas. Four Delas. No, five Delas, four images. All right, four images, five Delas total. Now, that gives you 50% or I roll... You roll to see if you hit. Which one of us you hit. Okay.

So you get concealment and I roll a D6 or whatever. Okay, very, very cool. This has been Della's... I don't know if you guys have noticed this. Della lately has been all about... What was that spell you cast five or six episodes ago? Blur. Displacement. Displacement, yeah. Displacement. Blur. Mirror image.

Very, very smart. Okay, Baron. Baron's going to move, double move, to get 20 feet closer to the monster. Okay. This was brought to you by NPR. All right, so Baron just making his way up. Shoulder to shoulder with Umlo.

To go to Chuletown. Yeah, Baron's in the room. Umlo's outside of the room. It takes up a 10-foot square, but it only has 5 feet of reach. So in order to move up to Umlo, it has to move 10 feet, which I think provokes from Umlo or no? Yep. Moving from 15 to 10. Yeah, it does.

It does. Okay. Even though Umlo can't attack at 10 feet? Yeah, no, he's leaving the 15-foot-a-way square. So it's another miss. Natural three. Natural three. All right, you'll get this.

Unbelievable. All right, I will tell you right now, it is going to attempt to claw Umlo. One claw. 26. That is a hit. All right. A couple things are is a hit. All right. A couple things are going to happen. Oh, God.

All right. First, Umlo is going to take 11 points of damage. Not too bad, right? I hate it when he does this! And then he attempts to grab Umlo in that claw. Ooh. Let's see.

26 against the CMB. You mean CMD? Yes, I'm sorry a CMD. You mean CMD? Yes, I'm sorry, CMD. What do you think? Do you think 26 hits on low CMD? What's your best guess? I'm not 100% sure. I would say probably.

It does, yes. What is his CMD? 21. Oh, no. Which is still pretty decent. One. Okay. A creature with this.

So he's grappled? Oh, yes. I'm not done. He's grappledled and then it constricts Umla Oh no I hate constricts So it grabs you in the big giant lobster claw And just squeezes the life out of Umla And, oh no

Oh no, uh 20, excuse me 17 more points of damage Oh my god So what was the first one? 11 11, and then another 17 on points of damage. Oh my god. So what was the first one? 11. 11, and then another 17 on top of that. So bad.

In the lobster claw. And it is Sir Will's turn. You just hear... Sir Will will do a double move. Oh, I didn't roll the 20% miss chance. Oh, let's see. You're kicking up dust. Made it. 80.

Sir Will is going to double move, which is 10 feet. Take your time. Slow down, Sir Will. Don't worry. This isn't life-threatening. I am furious that this temple is underwater. Furious! I don't know if it's Lexington.

I can't move. This really hamstrings almost all of us so badly. Yes. Yeah. Yep. Let me add the grappled condition to my chule, because even though it is controlling the grapple, it also gains the grapple condition.

It's Umlo's turn. What does he want to do? Escape artist or straight up CMB or attack with all the penalties? Let's see. He can't attack. No, he can't. He's not going to be able to attack. I don't think he's going to be much of a escape artist attempt.

He should just throw a heart spit. Attempting to break out. Yeah, he'll just attempt to break out. I mean, he's just going to try to... Struggle free. Okay. 15? Is that beat at CM?

Goddamn D? So not close. So terribly not close. You believe this, the way these die roll? Every single one is under eight. It's astounding. Round three. I believe it because it's you,

and it happens every single time that you roll a die. Why am I still surprised, Skip? This is so unbelievable. It's like, no, it isn't. This is the most predictable thing in the world. All right, round three, Nestor Coin. All right, I'm going to keep moving rounds. Let's see.

Keep kind of circling around this beast. This foul beast. 15, 20, 25, 30. Okay, I'm good. I'm 10 feet away from it around its backside. Around its backside. So now you're basically flanked with, well, no, Umlo's no longer providing flanking because he's in the claw, but it has its back

to you even though we don't do facing. Very, very smart. Della. Della is going to... Alright, cool. Monkeyfish? See ya! She's seeing Umlo constricted. She wants to see if she can do something to distract the tool.

So she's going to move to her right two squares, and then she's going to cast Color Spray. Umlo, though, is going to have to roll the save. Oh, no! Oh, God. Colorspray. I wish I had a bottle cap. DC 14 will.

DC 14 will. Does anyone have a bottle cap to give him to fail this? Do you guys have? No. I have one. 18. Damn it. Oh, my God.

Now I have to roll a will save? Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, no. He failed. Oh, you totally... Natural 2. So I was blind?

Unconscious. He's stunned, blind, like... No, no. It's color spray. So it's 5 HD, sorry. It's over 5 HD. He's stunned for one round. Now, wait a minute. Isn't Baron caught in that cone as well? Over here. That's why I moved over. No, it's 15 feet. You can aim it.

That's why I moved over. All right, so you basically aimed it so that it would just catch the edge but not catch Baron. Yeah. But it doesn't hit Nestor because it only goes 15 feet. Okay, very interesting.

So do I take any penalty? Or if I pass... No, you pass. No, I have full save. All right. It's a great use of the spell. You know, color sprays those things early on. Great.

Against monsters, you never know. All it could have possibly bought us is, like, one round for umload not to be constricted. That's what I was trying to say. Sometimes that's all it takes. Yeah, it's a big deal. All right. It's going to be Baron's turn. Now, what knowledge would a knowledge check on this creature fall under?

Nature. Nature? Can I? Actually. Dungeoneering. Dungeoneering, yeah. Dungeoneering. So I have Dungeoneering. Nature. Can I? Actually. Dungeoneering. Dungeoneering, yeah. Dungeoneering.

So I have Dungeoneering. Okay. Can I get a boost for my profession, Fisherman? Tails, old tails? Or can I use my profession, Fisherman? You know what? I'm going to give you a plus one. Okay. So plus six total on this roll.

Fisherman. 13. Do I know anything about that? I'm sorry. You know absolutely nothing. You know that you probably couldn't catch it with your fishing rod. Good. So feel confident about it. I'm sorry, you know absolutely nothing. You know that you probably couldn't catch it with your fishing rod. Good. I feel confident about that.

And I'm pretty sure that was a standard action, so that's your turn. I think it says in the book, if you fail the knowledge check, you do get a piece of useless information. So that is a standard action? No, I'm kidding. Okay. Grant, you take as many actions as you want. 18, that is a... You always do! That is a standard action? No, I'm kidding. Okay. Grant, you take as many actions as you want.

18. You always do. That is a hit. Yeah. Wait, 18? So you fire away. Well, no, it's 18 plus 12 minus 2 for underwater, so 28 to hit. All right, slow down.

It gets bonuses to it. Are you shooting around the corner of the building? I'm just curious. No, there's a wide doorway here. There's a wide doorway. Ah, okay. Zero feet away. And you're zero feet away, so no bonuses to its AC.

So what is the total? The total is away. And you're zero feet away, so no bonuses to its AC. So what is the total? The total is 28. But you're shooting? Yeah. And that's for folks, right? It would get an attack of opportunity if it wants to drop. Yes. Well, it has two claws.

So it will just attack with its claw on Baron. Baron completely forgot about this. If it hits and grabs Baron, this is going to be amazing. Doesn't it let go of Amla? No, it has two claws. 24 to hit, Bear Bear? Unless it's a giant subtype. Concealment.

Let's start with the damage. Let's start with concealment. Ah, concealment. Okay. I will even roll this in front of you. 88. 88. 88 keys, the Piano Man.

It's an 88 magnum. You mean Michael Irvin? Let's start with the 15 points of damage. So Baron is like trying to shoot this crossbow from five feet away and just, but wait, grabs him. So what did I say? 15 points of damage. Attempts to grab. Oh, it's going to be very, very close.

21, CMD. Not a grab. Nice. All right. Lucky. Right before it was for to be very, very close. 21, CMD. Not a grab. Nice. All right. Lucky. Right, 4 plus 4, yeah, 21. Okay. Yeah, because it has the grapple condition.

All right, so it hits you for some damage, but you are not in its class. So now I roll concealment. Is it concealed? 22. Made it. 22. Oh, you're good. Just get it.

All right, so get that shot off. All right. What did you roll? You already rolled the hit. This is 12 points of damage. 12 points of damage. All right, you're good. Just get it. All right, so get that shot off. All right. What did you roll? You already rolled the hit. This is 12 points of damage. 12 points of damage. All right, the first hit on the Chul. And now I'm going to move backwards.

There is no Dana, only Chul. And you're going to move backwards. Does he have combat reflexes? He sure does. And so he will take another attack of opportunity with the other claw and it is going to be a 19. Miss. All right.

Haven't had a creature with combat reflexes in a while. I know. Feels good, doesn't it? It is now the chool's turn. As a move action. If you would hit your dungeoneering check, you might have found out about this skill. A Chewle can transfer a grappled victim from a claw to its tentacles as a move action.

Oh, no. Oh, no, I know what this is. I believe. I know what this does. Swallow hole? I just remembered. I don't think I have to maintain the grapple for this, because he's already grappled, and this is a move action to do. So it puts Baron in its tentacles. You mean Umlo. So it puts Baron in its tentacles.

You mean Umlo. Puts Umlo in its tentacles. Umlo needs to roll a fortitude save. Oh, no. I know what this is. No. Why is Joe rolling this? We need a designated roller for Joe.

Big save. Okay. That's a 16. Fail. A couple things are going to continue to happen. That's a 16 Fail A couple things I think he's going to drown No no no Umlo's going to take 13 more points of damage

And he is paralyzed For 6 rounds Oh it's like a jellyfish thing going on Paralytic tentacles Yeah normally when you Start a round grappled you have to roll to maintain the grapple. So I think I should do that to make sure. Oh, yeah, natty 19.

So, yeah, that all goes down. And you are now paralyzed in its mouth as it just secretes this. Humlo took a lot of damage, and now he is paralizo. Oh, this is bad. Now, let is bad. Now let me see. Maintaining the grapple was a standard action, I guess, even though it's a move action to put it in its mouth.

So that's going to be its turn this round. Sir Will. Wait, you're saying it automatically maintains the grapple. No, I rolled to maintain the grapple. It ate my standard action, and then my move action was putting it in its mouth. Got it. Okay. So Umlo is just limp. Okay, this is bad news.

Oh, man. At least he didn't go unconscious and started bleeding out in the water. All right, so seeing Umlo get into this terrible situation, Sir Will is going to... Enoch There you go He becomes a medium sized creature Now I'm hoping that you can

Allow me to use my Small lance As a Short spear when I'm Fully large or a long spear. It doesn't grow with you? What's that? It doesn't grow with you,

like as if it were a large person? Oh, right. I guess it does, but then I can't use it. Well, I can drop the thing, so I'll just have to drop the plate seeing this. So he drops the plate in the sediment. That's free action.

And he is going to then double move. He can't double move because he casts the enlarged person as a standard action or is that a free action? There's no action listed on it. Yeah, to do any chug. So he can go 10 feet and then 10 feet. So a whole double move, 20 feet, to get within 10 feet of this creature that has Umlo. And behind him, he just hears, toom, as that disc hits the bottom.

Gotta go back for that. Well, don't forget it. Don't forget where we parked. I'm sure it's not. Meanwhile, Heartspit has fallen out of Umlo's hands and also fallen to the ground. So mark the round. I have five rounds of this. All right.

And it was Umlo's turn next and he is just paralyzed. Round four. Nestor has put himself in position here. Okay. So I'm not flanking because no one is threatening him

on the other side. Not yet. No, Sir Willis. Oh, yeah. Okay. So then Nestor will see his opportunity and step forward and try...

Do you want to be right up in its thing to take the attack of opportunity, or do you want to stay ten feet away and give it a plus two to its AC? What are you talking about? He's not... Oh, you're not... I thought you were using your bow. Are you mad? I'm sorry!

I thought you were using your bow! Pay attention! You can't use a bow in a water, you stupid idiot! I'm going to kill you right now! So you're going to stab with your short sword. I'm going to stab it, add it with my plus one short sword. Fucking! That is a 28.

Holy shit! What is your hit with that short sword? It's plus 15. Wow, man. That's insane. Do you have weapon finesse on short sword? I think I do. That's crazy. All right, man. That's insane. Do you have weapon finesse on short sword? I think I do. That's crazy.

All right, yeah, that's definitely a hit. So, concealments. Oh, boy. Oh, forgot about that. Where's my other 10? And piercing, don't take the minus two, but slashing. Slashing does, yeah. Okay, 55.

Okay, yeah. It's going to go through. So, that's okay. So, that's... Ooh. Okay, yeah. It's going to go through. So that's... Ooh. Okay. 18 damage. 18 damage.

All right. With the sneak attack. Nice. Beautiful. Yeah, that's huge. That's going to come in handy. All right. Keep moving along here.

Della. Della is going to move. All five of you. As she moves up, she's going to draw the scimitar. Okay. And frost it. Aha! Oh, frost it! And then take a swing. Okay. You're going to

move up and take an attack of opportunity. And flank. Does he have reach? I don't know. Does he have reach? He does not have reach. Oh, great. Let me ask you this. Do you have the room to get all the way up there? Yeah. It's just three squares. Okay. Alright, so, boom, roll away.

Swims up with the... Critical threat! Della, you've been going one way or the other. Fumble, critical threat. Critical threat! So it's minus... Critical! Critical threat!

19. That is not a crit. Ah! Ah! Did you add the flanking? 21. Crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, Oh my god. Oh, three ones. One of three D6s. Oh no. Wow. Joe, stop giving Matthew your D6s. Do we do imploding dice? Yeah, imploding dice. Take away the bonus. Jesus. You reroll ones and subtract whatever you reroll. Seven points of damage.

Seven points of damage. However. Uh-oh. I'm scared. I can use the ring of swarming stabs. Aha. Because I am flanking. To sneak attack.

Yeah. To get sneak attack damage? Yeah. So I get an extra d6. Okay, here comes another one. Five. Five on the d6? Yeah. Nice job. Alright, that's shipping away. Great use of something you found in the wilderness. Baring. She stabs and she's like,

boink. So, I can't do any more knowledge checks, right? Correct. Now, did you back away at the end of last round? I did, I did. So I'm going to spend the entire round loading this dumb giant spade crossbow. Okay. Boo.

Okay. I love it. All right, so just... Hey, it's better than being paralyzed. That's true. And stunned. And grapp paralyzed. That's true. And stunned. And grappled. As a free action, it releases Umlaut.

And Umlaut just continues to float. He's paralyzed. We all float down here. I think actually he goes... He thinks, right. Yeah, as soon as the breastplate hits the ground. He goes to Clawdella. Ooh.

31. Roll your concealment, and then roll for the mirror image. Ah! This is good! First concealment. 37. And then mirror image. So there's five of you all together. I will skip the six, but if a five comes up, it hits you.

Okay. Five. It's a... I'm not... Oh my god! Get out! Tell her you're going down! And now you're gonna get paralyzed. Now I'm gonna get paralyzed. Okay, hold on. I'm just gonna grapple him first and then... The initial damage is

13 points of damage. Then it goes to grab. Free action. Oh yeah. 20, excuse me, 32 to grab. So it then grabs Della, constricts Della for another 13 points of damage

and you are grappled. Let me add the grappled condition. Oh, you know what? He hasn't used a move action. As a move action, puts you in its mouth. Roll a fortitude save. Oh my god. So wait, you are 100% on this?

The constrict just does additional damage as a free action just because you're grappled? Yes. Natty's 17, so 26. All right, you are not paralyzed this round, but you do take another nine points of damage. Jesus Christ. So by using that move action, it does not get another attack. What's the lighting like down here?

It's not great. We already have the concealing. I had it on my sword, I think. I've got the light on my sword yeah you guys gave yourself a light source so you can see so yeah Joe with constrict anytime you're successfully grappled if you have the constrict ability

you automatically do that damage on a constrict and then the part of this paralytic tentacles whether you fail the save or not it automatically does another 1d8 plus 7 damage on top of the 2d6 plus 7 for the constrict and the claw. Moving on, Sir Will. Sir Willamette!

Well, it's actually Umlo, right? No, it's Sir Will, then Umlo. Oh, that's right. Okay, so Sir Will is going to... And that is a very cleverly worded challenge that you couldn't hear, but he does a cavalier's challenge against this thing. I don't believe it. And he will strike out with his lance.

Stabby Stabtown. This is two rounds away from getting very, very dangerous. Here we go. Sir Willamette. 19. Natural 19. That is a hit. Okay. And he does 12 points of damage.

And that's half damage, right? And then he has a second attack. That 12 is half damage, right? Or is that a piercing weapon? It's a piercing weapon. So that's full damage and then his second attack. Natural 17. That's a 23.

25 with flanking, sorry. Yep, that is a hit. Beautiful Sir Willamette. There you go. And he does 13 points of damage. Wow. Kill this fucking crab. So you guys are definitely chip, chip, chipping away.

And Umlo goes through his second round of paralysis. It must be terrifying. Can you imagine? Right. But he can still breathe, right? He has to be able to breathe. He has three minutes left on his water.

Damn it, Troy! Alright, round five. Nestor coin. I just realized that it probably shouldn't be a Dungeoneering check. It should be a Dungeoness check. Get out. Alright, I'm gonna do... Get out. I'm gonna do another step. Oh, a full attack.'m going to do a full attack.

I'm going to do a full attack. Oh, boy. And I've got my study target. I've got the... I can't do deadly aim, obviously. But with sneak attack, everything... First attack, natural 15. There's got to be a hit.

That's 30 to hit. Yep. Plus 15 to attack with a sword. Yeah, yeah, yeah, mate. I'm pretty deadly, even in the sea. That's 15 damage. Okay. And second attack, that's a miss.

Second attack's a miss. Second attack's a miss. So stab one, stab two doesn't go through. Della, you are in its mouth. Okay. You feel like secretion going all over your body, and your arm feels a little numb, you know what's happening to you.

Here's what I want to do. Okay. And then I'll tell you why you can't. And then you tell me why I can't. I want to Shadow Walk out of his grapple. Whoa. Whoa. All right, talk to me about Shadow Walk.

Do you have to have concentration? Do you have to... It doesn't... What type of action is it? Well, the spell Shadow Walk requires concentration, so I'm assuming the ability... It's an ability. Well, you have to cast the spell like you are grappled.

Yeah, that's fine. So whatever those are, which I was thinking. But the big hurdle here is, are we in an area of dim light? Otherwise, I can't do it. Not with the light that's being provided by, like, Nestor's sword or whatever you put it on. Oh, right. That would have been cool.

I'm sorry. Okay, instead... Nestor, did you roll a 20% mischance, by the way? Oh, I didn't either. Oh, no. Oh, my god! Real quick, attack number one. Nestor didn't move. You said it's only when they move and kick up the settlement, right? Yeah, this guy hasn't moved in a while. We've all been standing still. Yeah, Serval didn't move either You said it's only when they move and kick up the settlement, right? Yeah, this guy hasn't moved in a while.

We've all been standing still. If you've all been standing still, okay. Yeah, Serval didn't move either. It's a good thing because I rolled a three. I rolled an eight. Okay. Okay, what are the rules for casting while grappled? Well, what did you decide?

I'm going to cast something else. Okay. But if it's an ability, it's not cast like a spell is cast. The light is what makes it not. Oh, I see. Grappled or pinned while casting is 10 plus the grappler's CMB. Plus the spell level. Good lord.

Nope, just 10 plus the grappler's CMB. Straight off the GM. Or CMB. A character who attempts to cast a spell or uses a spell-like ability must make a concentration check. DC 10 plus grappler CMB plus spell level. Well, I'm looking right on the GM screen here

and it doesn't say that. So let's just... See page 206 of the core rulebook. All right, so... It makes perfect sense. Why would it be just as easy to cast

a 9th level spell while grappler has a 9th level spell? Is he going to have a ridiculous CMB? It's going to be at least 20. He's going to have

at least a 10. The screen is wrong. All right, well, roll it, and I'll let you know. Okay, I have a... If it's close, we'll look it up. All right, I have a plus 11 to concentration. You've got to roll high, but you can do it. You roll a 20, you'll be great.

Roll a 20, I'll be great. Roll a 20. Tweener. I rolled a 20. Total. 20 total? Yeah, definitely not. Okay. So you lose the spell. Total. 20 total? Yeah, definitely not. Okay.

So you lose the spell. What was the spell? I don't know. And then I'm going to, for my move action, can I try to escape artist, or is that standard action? That's standard action. All right. All right, I'm going to die. Sorry, Della.

God, dead Della. You know, if he goes paralytic, you all lose water breathing. I think that's fair. Stop it, Lavallee. All right, Baron, you've, if he goes paralytic, you all lose water breathing. I think that's fair. Stop it, LaValle. All right, Baron, you've got the crossbow loaded. See, Della just trying to get out of its jaws. Don't roll a natural one. Baron is going to appeal to the guidance of Torag and initiate a judgment of sacred destruction plus one.

He's going to appeal to the guidance of Torag and urinate. No one can tell. Quake and fear. He's going to move five feet to get a little bit closer so your guy gets a plus two to this roll. Plus two to my AC. For a total of...

That's going to be 17 to hit. Miss. But you don't provoke the A-O-O. Very smart. You've learned from your mistakes. Della, roll a fortitude save. Very important. Fail the fortitude save.

Nine points of damage, and you are paralyzed for six rounds! God. As a free action. Are you rolling the rounds? Is it D6 rounds? No, it's 6 rounds. It's 6 rounds flat. Period. Della and Umlo are fully paralyzed. Free action releases Della. Della just

begins floating. Oh no! Drops her scimitar. And the mirror images don't have any effect to maintain the grapple. Anything like that. No. Because it's not an attack. It just moved you from its claws to its mouth. That five on the d6

sealed your fate. And then there were three. Full attack action. First attack on Nestor. 23 to hit. Just hits. Just hit.

Alright, it's gonna be almost boxed cards. 18 points of damage. Goes for the free claw grab. Oh, a natty 18. Grabs. We're dead. Let me see. As a move action puts Nestor in its mouth.

Roll a fortitude save. Did he grapple me? Hold on. Yeah, grappled you and you take another ten points of damage for the constrict. You made the concealment?

Sorry, I was... We haven't moved. We haven't moved. We've established that if we... So... Yeah, eighteen points of damage on the claw. Ten points on the constrict.

Now roll a fortitude save. Twenty... Twenty-one. You roll a fortitude save. Twenty... Twenty-one. You take fourteen points of damage from the paralytic tentacles, but you are currently not paralyzed. That's five hit points. Oh my

God! And it will automatically do damage next round. So, yeah, it has Nestor in its mouth. It's just going to paralyze you all and then slowly feast on you. Baron and Sir Will are the only ones still going. It can't slowly feast on us. We're only paralyzed for 36 seconds. That's true.

That's true. It'll just start coup de gras on you. It's got to move quickly. Because you are helpless. Coup de gras! Get it right! For one fucking time in your life, LaBelle! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Your name is French. How are you not pronouncing this correctly?

So many complaints. Who to grace. I'm tired of answering those emails. Who to block emails. Every single slight, everything that's ever annoyed me about him, I'm going to let it all out now. One time you didn't pay me back those two dollars. I'll kill you.

2.15 with interest. Sir Will, are you going to save Nestor's life? Sir Will, he has to. He has to. As far as I'm concerned, if Sir Will does not hit these attacks, it's a TPK. Because he's certainly not going to be able to defend against getting grappled and paralyzed himself. So, yeah, I have the challenge on. I think I'm doing the most that I can do from what I can tell.

You want a bottle cap, buddy? I think that's a great idea, Grant. Wait, what happened to that time when you said, does anyone have a bottle cap on your back? I said it. I talked. Grant's reaching into his bag like a rod of remorse. Troy rolled it fast before anyone could see. He jumped in.

He's like, oh, natural 18. If you listen to the playback, I offered it. He did. He did. He did. All right. We have to see this cat. Grant is emptying his purse.

He doesn't even have a cap. I do. False cap. I got it from knocking the serrated scythe out of his hand. I'm just not sure where I put it. I'm just out. Do you have to see the bottle cap, Troy?

Sorry, I'm going to have to see the cap. Guys need to clean up your toys after each session. I've told you this before. No dessert, Grant. Sir Will. What are you going to do? Sir Will is going to stab, stab, go to stab town. That is the height of fucking bullshit.

So. I'm hungry. Underwater. I'm hungry. Delicous. Oh, come on. Of course. Of course.

Sir Will. Of course. And a natural four. Jesus. Wow. I hate Christ. Joe has rolled, I think, four fours on that die. Throw it away. This is absurd. This is another new die. Throw it Jesus! Wow. Joe has rolled, I think, four fours on that die. Throw it away! This is absurd.

This is another new die! Throw it away! Wow. They all suck! Umlo, round three of being paralyzed, I believe? Si. Alright, we move on to round six. Nestor, you are in. You feel your arm starting to go numb. Alright, well... Escape artist.

No, no. No, what can I do? I mean, I get loose. This is so bad. I'm just going to attack. And I haven't beefed up this creature at all. This is straight from the rock. Can I do a full attack if I'm grappled?

I don't see why not. You just take a minus two to every attack, I believe. And your AC is down and whatnot. First attack is 31 to hit. Yes, that 31 to hit. Yes, that is a hit. Well, you take minuses to your attack bonus. That's still way over.

You should be fine. As long as you put the grapple. No, that is with the minus. Oh, wow. And 26 points of damage. Okay. Oh, my goodness gracious. You could kill it here on this next attack. Second attack. Fucking A. Come on. Okay. Oh my goodness gracious. Alright, you could kill it here on this next attack.

Fucking A, come on. 20. That's not a hit. That is not a hit. Oh, I hate him! I hate this Charles Turner! I hate this fucking thing. I hate this whole place. I hate this apartment. It is Della's turn. Della, paralyze. This is round one of your paralysis.

Can I do a knowledge check? Sure. I can think, right? You can do purely mental actions. Just think of this as your last thought. 90-19. 27. You know that it can paralyze you. Useful!

Useful information! You also know that Skid is very unhappy and that Grant is probably about to walk out. That's three pieces of useful information. I just can't believe this bottle cap situation. To be fair, it wouldn't have made a difference. That's true. Well, you would have had a third attempt to break all of our hearts.

It has four... Naturally. It has combat reflexes. Obviously, it gets four attack of opportunities per round. It's immune to poison. Everything else... Nothing else is going to help you at this point. I contributed.

Baron, are you loading this round? Yes, I have to spend the whole budging round loading. You don't want to just drop that? Draw your fucking hand axe? There's a flaming, frosted scimitar on the ground. That's exotic weaponry, dog.

Alright, Baron reloads the crossbow. I wish I could shoot acid at it, but 1d3 and then water, and it's not going to work. Nestor, you take 13 points of damage. All right, I am down, down, down, down, down. And roll a fortitude save. DC 19.

Oh, dear. All right. Yeah,. Oh dear. All right. Yeah, I got it. So you're not paralyzed, just unconscious and dying. Minus 8. Now you told us a while ago the rules for being unconscious is just two rounds and it's permanent.

No, we've decided with water breathing. Oh, you're unconscious but you're still breathing. You didn't have that spell. I mean, he'd be dead. Gotcha. All right. But he is bleeding out. There is hope. There is a little bit of hope,

but it's up to Sir Will. Okay. I'll tell you right now. I just thought of something. Hold on. One good hit could do it because of Nestor's attack. I didn't ask,

and I still honestly don't know this. Does Sir Will get the sense that he could smite evil? Was I able to communicate to everyone that it was evil underwater? You don't know that it's evil? I would have told him. You don't know.

Baron, you don't know. Sir Will, didn't you try to channel? I tried to channel and it didn't work. I got my saves back. I got lay on hands. But I haven't tried the immunity to disease or smite evil. Right, right.

So I don't mean to put you on a spot in a tough spot. Sure, sure. And I don't mind if you say no. Is smiting a standard action or is it a free action? It's a swift action to do a smite. Just understand that if you deny him this, that the podcast is over. Or else you have to start over with a bunch of new characters. So no pressure.

It's a swift action, so you can try. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. He's going to try to close his eyes, try to draw on the power of I-O-M-I-D-I-O. And it's my ears to hear it pronounced that way. Strike through this creature, this evil creature. I don't even know if it's my ears to hear it that's pronounced that way. Strike through this creature! This evil creature! I don't even know if it's evil. It could be neutral. In which case, it has no effect. You go to smite evil.

And it doesn't work. Oh, God, he's so vicious! Alright, you're not there yet. You're not there yet, Sir Will. Here we go. Your journey... I'm offering you a new d20. I'm sacrificing a d20. Yeah, I'll take a d20. You're going to sacrifice? Matthew, you could never use this d20 again.

You realize. I'll just throw it away after the episode. Don't touch it. Don't touch it, Marion. Don't look at it. All right, here we go. First attack. Oh, my God.

21. God damn you. 21? No, no. You've got to kill this thing. You can keep that, Don. Second attack, Swifty. Would you have hit with Smite Evil, I wonder?

Yeah, well, probably, yeah, because I get my Paladin, or my Charisma bonus to hit. Second attack. If Grant can find that bottle cap, you're all set. We're having fun. Second attack. You guys having fun. Second attack. You guys having fun at home? That's another miss. It's like almost on a 20. It's almost on a 20.

It is. Look at it. It's hovering. Can we call that a crack die? Can we call it a crack die? All right. It goes to Umlo's fourth round of being paralyzed. Oh, my God.

And then we move to, I want to say, round seven. Nestor, roll a save to stabilize. Stabilize. DC 18. Oh, come on. Yeah. Alright, I'm stable. Wow! We rolled an 18. That's huge. Wounds heal well underwater.

If you ever have a scab, just go to the beach. I'm sure it doesn't burn at all with the salt. We're in a lake. There are sharks everywhere. You've got to watch out for the salt. Della, we're in a late second round. There are sharks everywhere. You've got to watch out for the sharks. Della, second round of being paralyzed. Baron, it is literally all up to you,

because it's going after Sir Will next round. Baron's going to disenable deadly aim. Even though it's less damage, I just want to hit this thing. Sure. I just want to... Yeah, dude. Is that word disable? Disenable? I will disenable it to Is that word disable? Disenable?

I would disenable it! What did I say? Disenable. It's a Texas saying. Close enough. That's how we say it in Texas. You don't understand my strategy, boys. Do it. Mission accomplished. Baron, come on! Oh my god.

Fuck! 21. 19 underwater. The pain. The pain. That is definitely a miss. I would have used my bottle cap if Troy didn't demand to see the filthy lucre itself. Chul goes out after...

I think it's in my backpack. How do you lose it? It's the single most valuable thing we get. This is insane. The Chul goes after Sir Will. First attack. Oh, 17. I get goes after Sir Will. First attack. Oh, 17 to hit. I get an attack of opportunity.

Why? Oh, it has a swim speed, so it takes a five foot step. But it's difficult terrain. There's two floating dead bodies. How tall is the ceiling? 17 to hit Sir Will. It has a swim speed. And they're on the ground.

Okay. All right. I hate him so much. First attack was a 17. That's a miss. All right. Second attack him so much. First attack was a 17. That's a miss. All right. Second attack. You know what? Let's come around the screen. I got nothing to hide. I'm gonna guess. Over 14. Guaranteed.

Well, it's a plus 14 to hit. Jesus. Natural 18. What do you know? Troy rolling. Natural's gonna roll. Joe is gonna die. All right. With its second claw, it does 13 points of damage and attempts to grab you.

Another natty 18. You are grappled. Fuck this thing. And that will mean some strict damage. Another 12 points of damage on the con strict! It already took one attack,

so it cannot... and it moved. Wait, did it move? Oh, it was a five-foot step because of the swim speed, which we house-ruled a couple episodes ago. So, yeah, you are in its course. Roll concealment. Yeah. Buddy. It swam. It didn't walk to you.

Okay. Did it get off the ground? I mean, if it's down at my level and swimming, it would still kick up some dust, but it's up to you. It's swimming it get off the ground? I mean, if it's down at my level and swimming, it would still kick up some dust, but it's up to you. It's swimming. I didn't allow that when Della was monkey fishing. All right. Sir Will, you're in its jaws.

I'm paralyzed. Ray is currently digging through every possible bag he has. So angry. He's got his compact, his birth control, lipstick. All right. So I want to drop the lance and draw Roselight and try to stab this thing. Is that possible? Well, let's see.

Drop the lance. Free action. Free action. Drawing Roselight. Move action. And attacking. Just put the grapple condition on. You're going to get a minus two.

I mean, you have missed every single attempt. So you're going to get one attack, Joe. One attack to try and kill this thing. Yeah. At half damage. So... At least he's large. Is it a short sword or a long sword? It's a long sword. Okay. Alright, and I will give myself the grapple condition because you're in its claws,

not its mouth. Come on, I need one good D20 roll this episode! Yeah! That's a 26 with the minus. Roll for damage, that is a hit. That is a hit, come on! Rose light! For the rose! And the light! Uh, that is six points of damage. And it's dead!

Yeah! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! I am shaking. I was going to say, this thing better have some nice treasure for Baron to be the only one to reap the benefits of its death. Holy moly. Pulls it out, just slices its side With rose light Green blood goes everywhere Wow Wow You hate when you're in it, but you have to appreciate

Complaints like that It tests all of your might As a team It didn't really test as a team At all It paralyzed half the team. Well, we all chipped away. Everybody did damage.

Wow. Wow! So wild. Look at that disgusting creature. Just put you in its mouth. Sir Will is going to move with all haste to Nestor and lay on hands. Ah. To try to get him conscious.

Because he's nervous. He doesn't buy this. You guys see the light of Yomadai glow around Nestor's body. That is eight points of healing. All right. And it's zero. Oh, so you're up. I'm conscious.

We're ready for the next combat. Baron. Yeah. Good to go. Good to go. Three guards come out of that other room. Baron, upon seeing Sir Will rush off to help in his desperate attempt to get back his paladin powers by being a good guy.

Just kidding. He's going to reach down into the silt and look for the plate, which is very important. Is there any difficulty finding it? Don't you touch my plate! Nope. You see it after all the blood and Sir Will stabs Baron in a fit of jealous rage. After everything settles, it's pretty easy to see. It was a very large thing.

So Baron hands it to Sir Will, and then does Cure Light Wounds 2 on Nesta. Oh, thank you, mate. And is Della eventually unparalyzed? Right, you're unparalyzed. That's 6. Umlo gets up. Umlo gets up, and then a couple seconds later, Della. So a total of 9. Thank you. Della's gonna

anoint herself for Infernal Healing. She is pretty low. Infernal Healing! anoint herself for infernal healing. She is pretty low. Underwater edition. Yeah, Nick, now we need you to make that with underwater effects. Thanks, bud. You keep trying to anoint it, but every time you pull it out of the vial, it just goes up in the air.

You can't quite get it on. You are so lucky, Troy, that we defeated that thing, because otherwise we would have murdered you. Oh, absolutely. The fans would have done it for us. Oh, that's true. And then we wouldn't have blood on our hands. Exactly. Della, in all seriousness, I don't think you can anoint yourself with blood underwater.

Why not? It's a drop, and you just go, I can smear myself with mud underwater. Why can't you just smear yourself with blood? I don't think you can do it. I'm on the fence. Yeah, I'm actually going to say you can't do it. Oh my god. Jesus Christ. You're really racking it up today.

That's preposterous. You can take away that healing. That's the stupidest thing. If I put blood on my finger, poured it out of a vial, and then tried to put it on my head, it just wouldn't happen. You would take the vial, put your finger in, and then touch yourself. I hear you. I hear you, but I'm not going to lie. I hear you, but I'm just going to divide the rules of physics. This is total bullshit. I've been too soft on you guys.

All right. You're going to make up bullshit to punish us? Don't get any more of these fucking Italian cookies, I'll tell you. I will say, you guys have time left on this water breathing, but not a lot of time to screw around. You have the treasure room. You have another room to your left, and there's another room that you pass. You don't have to check out this whole place. You've got what you came for.

What do you want to do? I'm not going to put you on a clock. Treasure. Treasure room? Treasure. Treasure. All right, so you all... I'm sorry, Sir Will didn't say that.

Della keeps trying to put the blood on, and she's walking. It keeps falling off her hand, and Will didn't say that Della keeps trying to put the blood on it She's walking, it keeps falling off her hand And she can't do it I think as soon as she opens the vial All the water pulls it out, right? The minute you open it, it goes everywhere It's thicker than water Idiot

I'm wielding my power Alright, so you go in there You see a lot of Shit Detect magic for the magical things Let's cut to the chase here All right, so you go in there. You see a lot of shit. Detect magic for the magical things. Let's cut to the chase here. Magical armor. A magical belt.

Magical oil. Get ready for that belt. Magical potion. A wand. A scroll. And cash. Magical cash? Magical cash? Magical cash. Yeah!

We're up at the champagne room, motherfuckers! I love that job. I'm so glad we made that a job. Nice work, Skid. Take it all and get the hell out of here. You guys don't want to do your checks? No, we'll check it out.

We'll check it out. Hold on, hold on. Baron, what is your argument for wanting the potion? Okay. I hear you, I hear you. Next. All right, you've got a room off to the south here, we'll say, and then there's the room

had you gone into the left. Had you taken a left when you walked past where you fought the Gar. Or you can just get the hell out of here. We're going to get the hell out of here. We cannot risk fighting anything else. In fact, what I'm going to do is use all of my heel-on-hands, just in the event that something happens. And mind you, you guys will have to walk to the edge. It was a steep drop-off, like four yards out.

So you're going to have to walk all the way to the edge of the river and then climb up with use of rope. So you need to get out of here. Yeah, so real quick for Nestor, that is seven points of healing. Thank you. So at least a little above zero. I'll do another one. How far are people down?

Della, what are you at? I just did two Cure Light Wounds on myself. Oh, okay. And I will do another one. Oh, there you go, ten points, Nestor. Excellent, thank you. And then I'll do oneounds on myself. Oh, okay. And I will do another one. Oh, there you go. Ten points. Excellent. Thank you. I'm at 26 now.

And then I'll do one for UMS. Oh, that was nine for UMS. Nice. So there we go. You know what the real kick in the ass about all this is, is when we fight a boss in a future episode that Troy's going to be like, if you had just explored the whole underground palace, you would have had the item. Wait, can we do a Detect Magic on the other rooms just in case?

Yeah. Sure. Well, you can walk out the worm that you did. You can walk out the one that you did. It's up to you. You don't have to. It was sort of a Y intersection, and we went one way. We could go back the other way.

There's one room we didn't check out in this office hall. Right. So if you do a quick detect magic on that other room to the south, you don't detect any magic. But you do see a bunch of blocks and a giant metal brazier that looks to be tipped over frosted in a green patina but you can't see the other side of it. Patina? Really?

I don't... We have what we came for. You also have those weird stones. Yeah, well you want to go out through the room we have next floor? Not really, but if you want to I will. I think Sir Will is always behind Della and Nestor? Not really, but if you want to, I will. I think Sir Will

is always behind Della and Nestor anyway, so you guys do what you want. You can decide individually where you want to go. Sir Will, which way are you going? I want to go back

the way we came to reduce our risk of having some fish creature attack. All right, so Sir Will goes that way. Baron. I'm going to see

what other people do. Nope, sorry. It's canon. Let's, let's, love will keep us together. Let's, let's stick together. Nope, sorry, it's canon. Love will keep us together. Let's stick together. Love will keep us

together. Which way do you want to go, Barry? Detect magic on that room, then, if we're not going to go into it? Yeah, do it. Through the wall. You stand outside of it, and you see looking in, it's a very small room, and it holds what appears to be the shattered remains of several stone vessels resembling either barrels or huge vases.

No magic? If you go to detect magic, you don't detect any magic. He's trying to lure us in there. What do you guys want? What do you guys want to do? If you want to send Sir Willen alone, I'm happy to go in by myself. I have over 100 hit points still. Go in there.

Go ahead. Go in. Go. Boom! He just said, for Highbury. And he starts walking five feet at a time because his righteous might is over. And small Sir Will will walk solo into the room while everybody looks on. Baron's going to load his crossbow.

All right. And he's going with Roselight in one hand and the plate in the other. All right, Sir Will, you walk in. Roll a perception check. Quick perception from Sir Willamette the Kez. 14. Oh, my God. What an awful perception.

All right, so you walk in... Hey, you sent in the lead scout, right? Oh, no. You walk in, and you see these vases. They're all spaced evenly throughout the room, and some are smashed, some aren't. And you just, you're trying to look at them but all of a sudden the silt that you're kicking up, you notice that it's a

different color than all the other silt in all the other rooms. It has like a reddish hue to it and you begin to feel sick. Roll a fortitude save. Oh no! Okay. Uh, 23. Get out of that room right now. Sick. Roll a fortitude 7. Oh, no! Okay. 23.

Get out of that room right now. Alright, I get out. I hustle out. Alright. I wonder if this was like sand or something in the vases that spilled out mixed with the sediment. It's like poisonous. Or like rotten wine or something. Cremated ashes, maybe.

When you walked in there, you kicked up some sort of toxic dust that was either in those vases or just laying on the floor. Maybe the vases that split left it there. When I get out, I'm going to turn around and detect evil. Do I detect evil? You do not detect any evil. Yeah, it's just some sort of, maybe it's just a decaying, nasty, whatever. But Sir Will gets out of there and he's like, let's just go. Go.

Let's go. All right. So you go out, and you know that you're on a ticking clock here, and you get to the water's edge. Some of you are doing climb checks. I'm not going to go through all this stuff. I don't know if Della's going to monkey fish out of there. Della will monkey fish up and then help people.

Della gets out of there, and he's throwing the rope down, and you finally get everybody out. And you look to where Lexington was, and he's dead. No, he's not. No, he is not. I'm just kidding. We'll see you next week.

I hate you. I hate you. He was really piling it on there. I was like, Troy's going to make a Lexington, I was like, kill him. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Powerhouse and Tate production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated.

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