The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 120 - A Matter of Life and Breath

Episode Date: September 12, 2017

Nestor, Barron and Della continue to face the wrath of the Black-Headed Beast as Sir Will and Umlo are left to deal with the wrong end of a spiked chain wielded by a giant from the fighting pits. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that...

That's right! Did you know it's also covered by most private insurance plans? Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast, Baron and Nestor brace for the blast of the black-headed beast. Rumor on the internet is all week long,

Grant was practicing rolling D20s for this reflex. Baron goes out guns blazing. And he's going to get up close and deadly. Okay. Damn right he is. Come on, baby. And Nestor scrambles to get one last shot off. Come on, old jolter.

Come on, don't fail me now, jolter. But the beast has other ideas. The black-headed beast. Not bloody like. Flies down and lands in front of Nestor. Oh, no! And one of these heads is going to bite you. But which one?

We'll go with the... The goat, the goat. The adventure continues. Is the goat in charge? I don't know. No. hey everybody this is skid and welcome to episode 120 of the Glass Cannon Podcast. Not a lot to cover this week, although Joe, Troy, and I will be running our Pathfinder Society scenarios for our $100 and up Patreon donors at the end of the month. We're very excited about that.

at the end of the month. We're very excited about that. And if you want to get in on that, we're doing that twice a year. And after six months, you'll be eligible to join in our next one. So if there are any hedge funds managers or rail barons or major shareholders in the East India Company out there who are interested in that, go ahead and make that donation pledge today and you can join us for a fantastic online role-playing experience in a mere half a year. But anyway, let's jump right into our newest episode entitled A Matter of Life and Breath. What are you doing? I mean, look at his

face. I got my head back with my mouth open waiting for something funny to come out. I thought you were going to make some huge announcement. It just won't come. I got nothing. It does look like an orgasm face. Yeah, it looks like you just shot heroin.

Can you believe it? It's episode 120. I can't believe it. It does look like an orgasm face. Yeah, it looks like he just shot heroin. Can you believe it? It's episode 120. I can't believe it. Congratulations, everyone, on that arbitrary achievement. Way to bring us down, Matthew. And he just posts us into... Oh, my. Episode 120

Goodness That's pretty awesome Rumor on the internet Is all week long Grant was practicing Rolling D20s For this reflex Grant can you

Confirm or deny this You know I've heard of Tennis elbow before But I've never heard Of D20 wrist So I really

So you've been doing Exercises all week Yep Just roll Roll Roll Rick a roll Now despite I really Yep just roll roll roll Rick a roll Now despite Hindsight is 20-20

Would you have still taken this footpath Knowing what you are in the middle of Well not knowing What's in the cave Right yeah we still have imperfect information Yeah we you know It wasn't It probably wasn't

the best thing in the world to do, but. I feel like Eeyore. Yeah, man, he's like, it's probably going to be nothing and I'm almost going to die.

I wasn't that hostile. I was just kind of depressed. I mean. It could be something that makes it worth, like, it could be 20 episodes from now. It's like,

you know, I'm glad we went down there. I will say, one of the heads is a dragon dragons tend to have good treasure but how much head uh

cut his mic no John I want you to finish that thought finish your thought I was just gonna say how much sway does this head have

against the other three in terms of gathering treasure and hoarding it yeah it's true is the goat in charge? I don't know. Goats have no money.

The goat's in charge of the books. How much sway do they give? The goat ate all the money. I think odds are the lion's in charge around here. Well, he gets the lion's share probably. You get Grant's lost bottle cap. Yay!

It's equally useful.. Equally useful. It's equally useful. Well, I want to thank you for not letting me waste it on Joe's rolls that one episode. You know what's funny is like right when I told you to roll last time, Grant, I saw your D20 actually hit the table. But I can't count it. I don't know what it was. I think that you failed it. But you don't have to tell us.

So are you trying to reshape your image as a benevolent GM that cares about his players? I just want to let you know that I give. I give. I like it. You come into this little end of the valley here. You knew that you needed to go north. You knew that you needed to continue

going north, but just... Curiosity got the better of you. It's hard to separate the player from the character sometimes because you just, let's just take a peek. Let's just take a peek. I would argue that this is Nestor's character. Sure. Nestor would want to take a peek.

A thousand percent. How much gold is back there? It's hidden in that path. Right? And Nestor's instincts are usually correct. And I'm not going to pass up a chance. I want to make certain that we are 100% prepared for this final battle. So I don't want to pass up a chance to get anything of combat significance.

I'm not going to pass up any chance. Because we're not under a time constraint. At least as far as Nestor's concerned. Very fair. Very fair. Let's just push Nestor in front of the breath weapon and then sacrifice him and then take the gold man

Della's going to the Nestor school of adventure well what we do know is you come down here you split the party at times

not really you just kind of like have the stealthy people you guys all crush Baron, Della, Nestor as always crush your stealth

checks to come up and check out this debris broken bones in front of a cave entrance. Where have we seen this before? Meanwhile, Umlo and Sir Will from behind, this bald giant with a topknot, a spiked

chain that deals massive damage. You had that topknot before. It was cool. He's talking about the pits. Bringing you back to the pits. Bringing the black headed beast back to the pits. So maybe this guy's connected with what was going on outside the castle grounds. He just laid out Umlo with one spike chain.

Meanwhile, the black-headed beast comes out and spews acid on Della, Baron, and Umlo. Excuse me, on Della, Baron, and Nestor. Della gets out of the way, and then it does it again. Nestor and Baron roll a reflex save. 15. does it again. Nestor and Baron roll a reflex save. Fifteen. Unless it's a spell. Is it a spell or spell-like ability?

It is not. It is a supernatural ability. It's a reflex save, yes? Yep. Nestor passes. Thirty. Fifteen for Baron. I saw the 19, the natty 19 from Nestor.. 30. 15 for Baron. I saw the 19,

the natty 19 from Nestor. Baron yet again fails. You failed twice, Baron? I did not remember that. 6, D8 damage, and half that for Nestor. Here's the first three. 4, 8, 10 points of damage. And then, alright,

16, 17, 18, and 8. 26, and then two more. This is already going to be more than last time. 26 plus 9. 35. 35 points of damage to Baron. Wait, didn't you say it was 6d8?

You just rolled 8d8. Oh, I'm sorry. I did roll 8d8. It's 26. Yeah, 26 points of damage, so less. All right. Nice try, LaValley. Still in rough shape. Good roll, 88. It's 26. Yeah, 26 points of damage, so less. All right. 13 for me. Nice try, LaValle.

Still in rough shape. So Nestor takes... 13. 13. Whoo! Baron, what are you down for hit points? Down to 80? 47 out of 102.

47 out of 102. Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! It's your turn, Baron. Answer back. It's still turn Baron Answer back It's still high up there It's still 30 feet in the air

And far away from you So you're shooting against regular AC If I had taken into consideration The fact it would have been flying My first attack would have been To cast long shot on myself Ifs and buts were I don't know the rest of it

For the time being I'm hoping that we can coerce him into landing, so I'm going to try to rejoin the rest of the party, because I really am not effectual in combat with it. Okay, so what are you talking about? Full withdrawal. Full withdrawal towards Umlo, and don't get in a straight line with anyone. Yeah, please.

Don't make it appealing. Yeah, here's the thing. You're in a straight line with any one person. Just try to not be in a straight line with two people. Oh, boy. There we go. All right. Hope it lands once it can't cast its dumb breath weapon.

So now Nestor is effectively alone with it. Yep. All right. Oh, no. And that's not good. And it is Umlo's turn. All right. Umlo is going to take a five foot step back And

I'm going to take 15 minutes To load up his Portfolio We said we'd have Skid playing again because we were mid combat Right right right that's fair And he's going to go ahead and rage Oh okay Pull it all on the line He's going to take ahead and rage. Oh, okay. Pull it all on the line.

Yeah, power attack. He's going to take some control over his life. He is. He's like, you know what? It's my turn. I'm going to rage on my terms, he says in an accent. He says to himself. In my terms.

Okay, so, and he gets an additional plus two to hit. This is a giant. Right. Okay, so, 21 to hit. Yep, this is a change. Right. Okay, so... 21 to hit. And do you have the belt on? Yes. 21 is a miss.

Shit. Shoot. Got an attack. I'm gonna miss. Tough. All right. All right, so Amlo just... His training is there, but he's just so full of anger.

So full of hate. And it is Krag but he's just so full of anger. So full of hate. And it is Kragmald's turn. Kragmald. All right. Amlo took that step back. He's going to take a five-foot step. Okay? Five-foot step.

And then do two spiked chain attacks. First one on Sir Will. Do I want to go to power attack? Yeah, I'm going to go to power attack. So you went this way? First one on Sir Will, natural one. Yeah! And he's the guy to fumble against.

Yeah, man. Get an actual fumble against. Yeah, man. We get an actual fumble. All right, so let me, it's probably not going to confirm, but then again, your AC is pretty high. All right. 33, so not confirmed fumble.

God damn, this guy's good. Giants. All right, and then second attack will be on Umlo. 15 to hit. Oh, and miss. Yeah. Wow! Nice. Very lucky.. Oh, I missed. Yeah. Wow!

Nice. Very lucky. It automatically said hit. I shouldn't have put on a power attack, but I did. Alright, Sir Will, you're up. You're 10 feet away from this guy. So I've been thinking about this. That 2, I've been seeing it in my mind all week. It's been burning a hole

in my brain. A hole of rage. And I think that it's because we didn't get a good spirited for Highbury on that charge. That must be the reason. That's the only reason. We. I didn't either. We didn't get a good spirited for Highbury. So if you remember, he's

challenged this guy. He's on Lexington and he's going to do a full blown ride by attack. And now he's got to clear away so that he can get a full 20 feet away from this guy after the hit. So, uh, gentlemen, if you'll join me. For high!

Matty 16, 33 to hit. That is a hit. Boom, baby! First hit. Tilts in with the Highbury Lance. This guy, oh! And he does. Goddammit, he touched my dice. He does.

24 points of damage. There we go. Wow, okay. Kaboom! There we go. Sir Willemette. Boom. The first hit landed on Kragmold.

There we go. All right, so now where does this put you? You turned around and you were able to ride back the other way? Yep, so I rode past him. Yeah, I rode past him, yeah. All right, so right now it's just open area between me, this guy, between Sir Will, this guy, Umlo. We're all kind of out in the open. Round three, Nestor Coyne.

Okay, so Nestor feels like he's got to make these two shots count if he possibly can. This is life and death. It may kill you if you don't. He might. So first attack, multi-shot, study target, etc. 24. 24 against the black-headed beast. Come on, come on, come on.

That is a hit. Yes! Okay. Oh, that's huge. That is humongous. 32 points of damage. All right, still kicking. That is humongous. Twenty. Thirty-two points of damage. All right. Still kicking.

All right. Second attack. Come on, old Jota. Come on. Don't fail me now, Jota. Mother. Okay. All right.

That's a hit. I'll have what he's having. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Della. Oh, God. What do you do, Della? Vanish fly away. That would be the smart course of

Oh, just like... See you guys! I'm gonna go find my dad! Even though he's probably dead. Della decides she wants to even the scales of this battle a little bit. Oh! She's gonna take a five foot step towards Baron. Oh no. And cast Fly on Baron. Oh!

The Flying God Slugger! Oh, the flying god slugger! Oh, he's going to be so dead! No, I'm not going to fly at the dragon. Why not? Because I'm going to kill the giant first. All right. You've got to be a hero. The giant has a guy who hates giants stabbing him with a spear. And a Sir Willamette.

Oh, yeah. The extremely dangerous creature. All right, pass it on me. I'm an extremely dangerous creature. That's what Sir Willamette's in the mirror every morning. Yeah, he looks at himself, brushes his beautiful blonde hair back. I'm good enough. I'm smart enough.

And duck on it. Nestor will like me one day. The black-headed beast. No bloody likely. Flies down and lands in front of Nestor. Oh, no! And one of these heads is going to bite you. Okay.

But which one? We'll go with the... The goat, the goat! The dragon head goes to bite you. Natty, 19. Oh, shit. That is a hit. So the giant dragon head hits you.

Could have been a lot worse. 14 points of damage. Oh my god. I should say to you, Nestor, not only is this thing right up next to you, thereby making it impossible for you to take

an attack without incurring an attack of opportunity, even with a five foot step. You know from fighting creatures before that there's one head that can bite, another head that can bite, the goat's head looks like it can gore, and it has two giant lion's paws. So you're looking at one, two, three, four,

five different attacks. And it is now Baron's turn. Excuse me, the Flying Dutchman. Flying Dutchman! Flying Dutchman. You guys, I feel like, what is my fly speed? I'm trying to figure that out. 60 feet. 60 feet.

Okay, so I'm going to take off. I think it's the same for everybody, right? Once you cast the spell. It is. I'm going to take off at less than a 45 degree angle so I don't have to do any fly checks. And I'm going to hover like here-ish. Okay. Is that within 20 feet of the beast? Within 20

feet of the beast. Okay, remember, it's on the ground now. Hovering is a harder check, so you'd be better at, like, looping around. So I'm going to loop around this way, and I'm going to shoot at him. Okay. Alright. So you get within its touch AC range. And he's going to get up close and deadly. Okay.

You're damn right he is! Come on, baby. Yes! There we go. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. That is a 26 against a chasing bat. Boom. That's a hit. And that does 25 points a day. Yes. Della touches

Baron, says fly. Baron just ha. Again, John Woo style. Ba-boom. Goes right through its heart and kills. Yes. Oh, my God. Yes.

Nice job. I should say, just to clarify, it is dying. Okay. Leading out and dying. But it does mean that I didn't spend a grip point. That's true. What do you want to do? Oh, that's your full attack.

Yeah, I guess I'll just do it. You have to fly to get there. Do I just stop when I attack? You're still in mid-fly. You're still moving. So I'll still be moving as my next turn starts. Black-headed beast is gone. Or at least it's dying, and now Kragmold looks pissed.

Umlo. Oh, sorry. Yes, Umlo takes a step back. And once again. Oh, sorry. Yes, Umlo takes a step back and once again, hold on for 45 minutes while I pull up his profile. He's got a great OkCupid profile for those of you out there

who look at him. He does. He's very lonely. He's very lonely. Nobody likes him, so he'll be very grateful. He's got a strapping new belt, though. And he takes a swing. Oh, there we go. 25 to hit.

25 just hits. Okay. And the extra 2d6. Oh, yeah. And the plus 2. 36. 36 damage with hard space. Wow. I'm low

Alright And sounds like he'll probably have to get A nat 20 to hit on the second attack But we'll give it a shot Nope Alright so he stabs once And it lands true Lands true

And now it is Kragmull He sees the beast go down From that bullet room And he's just like Eww And he points at Flying Baron But realizes he's not within reach so he's going to kill Umlo

on his way to get Baron. I'm going to leave Power Attack on and just literally try to kill Umlo. First attack. 24 to hit. No, plus 4 AC. I think that's exactly it. It's still hitting. 2d, plus 4 AC. I think that's exactly it.

Oh, man. 2d6 plus 23 damage. Oh, my God! And I rolled one boxcar. So, 31 points of damage on the first hit. Jesus. Second attack. 20 to hit.

That's a miss. That's a miss. So, the second one misses. So, almost the only one I think that's been hit by this yet. And it's just got to feel like, boom, like Kill Bill. Yeah. She fights. Go, go. Go, go.

Like Go, go's weapon. Boom. And it is Sir Will's turn. Sir Will is going to turn Lexington about. He now has, just map-wise, an exactly straight line row of squares that he can run through to tilt past this guy and do another charge rather than get it all amped up with the he just kind of under his breath is like

it's exhausting he's like drives in god damn it you gotta scream it or you get a natural three damn it come on come on he was exhausted You get a natural three. Damn it. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh. Come on. Come on.

Come on. He was exhausted. Joe's going to roll. We need a melancholy Joe's going to roll. He's terrible at stuff. All right. Next round, Nestor. Nestor, you saw this beast lands in front of you,

and Baron comes up, shoots out the back of its heart. Nestor's going to usos beast Lands in front of you And Baron comes up Shoots out the back If it's hard Nestor's gonna take A five foot step back And level his gaze At the giant Okay

Study him Get a clear shot there I believe so A little soft cut A little soft A little soft cut Okay Alright

Alright I'm gonna shoot two Has anyone tried to roll Another knowledge check On the chimera? Does it have regeneration? I just don't have arcana Oh fuck me

You already rolled 23 23 to hit 23 misses Fuck Second attack That's a hit That is a hit

And that's much less damage But let's see here Come on asshole Come on thing 19 Come on, thing 19 damage 19 damage, okay, so the second one You know, it's far away, it's hard to get that one off A smaller target than the

Black-headed beast Della, you just cast Fly on Baron It worked, what do you got? Della sees this thing try to eviscerate Umlo Swirls around, and she's gonna Cast that spell that she used at Arcane Pool Point. Ah, there we go. It's a little spell called Steel Size.

Oh! Which is an awesome spell, but, like, Fortitude negates, so it probably won't work. It won't work. It's a super long shot. So explain to me what this does. Boo! Joe hates all spells that save the game. It reduces the target size by one size category, and I gain a size.

So it's like casting Reduce Person on Kragmald and Enlarge Person on yourself. That is an awesome spell. If it works. What level is that? Third level spell. Wow. That is cool. All right, so a Fortitude save?

Yeah, he's going to get it. It's a DC 17 Fortitude save. I don't know. What's his Fortitude bonus? I only have a plus 15 to Fortitude. Oh, come on. A natural one. I made it. It's a DC 17 fortitude bonus. What's his fortitude bonus? I only have a plus 15 to fortitude. Oh, come on. I made it. Made it again.

Just barely with a 26. Can you at least move to get closer to him? Alright, the black... Yeah, I can, but I'm gonna take an attack of opportunity, so I'm gonna... Was it a touch attack? No, it's ranged. Oh, okay.

All right, black-headed beast is... Well, no, just so... Oh, yeah, never mind. I'm going to move up to the chimera and see what I can do about that. And the black-headed beast has stabilized. Just barely, it is no longer bleeding out. It is sitting at negative four hit points. Maybe we could, like, keep this thing.

Yeah, that's what I'm... It's valuable. A pet. Joe wants to train it. I want to train it. Well, we have the leash. I have handle animal. I want to train it! Well, we have the leash. I have handle animal. You want to try it? It's got a dragon set.

It's probably not going to be any more difficult to domesticate than Lexington. Baron, you're flying around. What do you want to do? I can't just turn right around on a dime when I'm flying, right? So 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 55, 60.

And he's going to take a shot at the giant. Yeah. Is it touch AC? Are you within? He's counting. I'm going to say no. Yeah. Yeah.

Yep. I'm just about. I'm a little bit off the ground. Just about? Just about. No, no. It's touch AC. If he came down as he flew.

Yeah. Okay. Sure. Yeah. Natural. Wanting. Just about. No, no, it's Touch AC. If he came down as he flew. Yeah, that's fine. Okay, sure. Oh! One, two. We only had a crit. Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my goodness. Let's see. Let's see. 21 against Touch AC, two confirmed. We got a fan critical. We got a fan critical. Wow. A little 20-sided die, playing Critical. Wow. 20-sided die, good

buddy. Ranged crit with a times four modifier. Lucky number 13. Number 13. Double damage is quadruple damage. Normal damage is

triple damage. Well, I'm a times four weapon. Yeah. That's what he's saying. That's what I'm explaining.

Okay. Got it. That was the purpose of this. I wasn't listening. I'm excited about rolling the 20 Alright, this one is from Steven in Ann Arbor, Michigan Whoa!

Splinter Strike Normal damage And your munition splits on impact Hitting 1d3 additional targets within a 20 foot range Oh, great For half damage Thanks, Steve Great job, Steve

Waste no other targets It doesn't hit allies? within a 20-foot radius for half damage. Thanks, Steve. Great job, Steve. Waste no other targets. It doesn't hit allies? No, targets. Targets. It's a critical choice. It's amazing that that bullet knows to distinguish between allies and enemies. Well, it's, you know, targets. Have you ever heard of the magic bullet theory?

Hey, if you want to do it, you can do it. Chief Justice Grant's grandfather, Chief Justice Ber it, you can do it. Chief Justice. That seems critical. Grant's grandfather, Chief Justice Berger, can have a word with you. What does it say? Read me the exact word. It says, normal damage and your munition splits on impact, hitting 1d3 additional targets within a 20-foot radius of the target for half damage. I'm low on Sir Willa. Getting a piece of that action.

No, that's ridiculous. All right, so roll. So you're punishing him for rolling a 20 is what we're here. Okay, that is 16 points of damage. So roll 1d3. If you roll 1, it only hits one of us. Oh, do I do a triple? Yeah, normal damage is triple damage.

Okay, great. For a gun. So that's 24 and 30 points of damage. 30 points of damage 30 points of damage And then 1d6 for the rest of them So yeah So that's 5 on the 1d6

So that's 3 so we both get hit for half damage So 15 points of damage Oh god What does that do to Umla? 15 points of damage No but is he still up? How much was it? 15. Yeah, he's still up.

So it goes through Kragmald and explodes when it hits the bone and shards of it go out and hit Umlo and Sir Will. Hey, thanks a lot, Steve. I hope Ohio State beats you next year. I hope Ohio State beats the shit out of you next year. That's what I hope.

Thanks, Steve. It would have been good if they're... He probably meant enemies. We'll have to edit it. I'm sure he did. So with a benevolent GM, that would have been incredibly critical. Of course. Of course.

Steve, no. I know what you meant, and I'm actually a Michigan fan. Yeah, that bullet does not have intelligence, unfortunately. Whatever team Troy likes, I hope they lose. So, was that... You flew around to take that shot. That is the entirety of my action. Now it is...

Thank God. Umlo's turn. All right. I'm going to step back and... I don't even want to bother taking the second attack, but I will take the first attack. I am 25. 25 is a hit.

Welcome to Boomtown. And... He's still raging, too, right? Yeah. Yeah, he says so much damage. 26. 26 points much damage. 26. 26 points of damage. 26 points of damage.

So, Umlo... Oh, wow. So, basically, Baron flies around, boom, hits the guy, hits, what's his name, Kragmold, like, right in his artery in his leg, hits the bone,

explodes. Shards of it come out. Shards of it hit Sir Will. Shards of it hit Umlo, and Umlo just looks up and is like and runs his spear through Cragmold and kills him.

Jesus Christ. And Cragmold just falls to the ground. Alright. Alright. The threat has been avoided. Cragmold then fails his stabilize, his ability to stabilize himself and dies outright

with a negative 21 hit points. I'm sorry, Troy. It was raining, so we're just going to have to go back and do concealment checks for all those attacks. It was a light drizzle. I'm sorry. Alright, so. Does anyone have knowledge arcana that we could see

if this guy is intelligent? Poor Sir Will He's not intelligent As a person He doesn't know Well, that's been Thoroughly demonstrated Yes

Many times over So we have this creature That is stabilized And is extremely dangerous Extremely dangerous Would tie its legs together Tie its heads together It would, like like bind its mouths.

Yeah, we could muzzle it. Muzzle the dragon mouth. I think we have to kill it. This is a huge chaotic evil creature. I mean, there's no way we can control it. Let's kill it. I mean, it'd be fun to talk to it. No, let's kill it.

There's no way we're not killing it. We are the law. It would be kind of fun to talk to him But this is not Sir Will would be totally fine with killing him If Baron says it's registering as chaotic evil Then we should just kill him Alright well then Del will coup de grace If no one else wants to talk to him

Matthew you're breaking my heart Not you two What'd I do? Coup de Grasse. I expected from these idiots, but not from you. You're supposed to be the smart one. I learned from these idiots.

It's our fault. I'll just coup de grasse it if no one else wants to talk to it. Okay. It's what you all want. Roll automatic crit. It's dead. Even with a 21 con, it's just not going to survive. All right. So you just boom, lop off all three of its heads.

Scimitar. And Kragmold is not alive to berate you after Umlo took him to negative. So wait, what did we think was happening? So I think we think that he was coming to capture this thing to bring back to the pits. I don't know how he was planning to do it. I don't know what his... Maybe he had some cool item on him.

Yeah, let's look at it. We should have checked before we threw to grass. A bonus to handle animal checks or some such? Yeah. A wild... Well, Nesta's going to check out. He's going to rifle through the feathers or whatever this thing has

to see if it's got anything on it. The beast or... The beast. All right, so looking through the beast, you don't find any items. Okay. So then, once that's done, he's going to go towards the cave,

start climbing up towards the cave. Okay. What are the rest of you doing? Della will go up to the cave as well. All right, Della goes up there with Nestor. Got to climb up and in. Sir Will's going to keep a lookout. I'll check out Cragmulgs, whatever his name is, buddy.

All right, so you go over to Cragmulgs. And what do you do with him? I search his person. All right. Do you want me to roll? No. Okay. Just if you are detecting magicing magic Detecting magic

You detect a magical cloak Okay That furry Collar thing That he was wearing Is magical And he also has Magical boots

Okay Can I spellcraft this? You sure can Nice Great I get it 21 Okay

That's good That's good enough for me Do they fit A halfling? Well you're gone, so... Quick question. You can put your whole body in them. The boots are boots of friendly terrain.

Oh, nice. Linked to a favored terrain mountain. Okay. So, boots of friendly terrain turn inhospitable territory into a perfect hunting grounds for any ranger who wears them. So much so that his footprints vanish behind him with each step he takes. So that our only ranger doesn't have any feet to make footprints.

Damn it, man. That's something Lork already has. He doesn't leave footprints anywhere he goes. Hey, Lork, we got you. Useless. Throw him out. Built-in boots of friendly terrain. There seems to be some sort of small tree walking through here.

Basically, you get a plus two to mountain terrain. And the cloak is called a stone mist cloak. Cool. In rocky or mountainous areas, when this stone gray cloak is worn with the hood drawn up around the head,

the wearer gains a plus five competence bonus on stealth checks. Cool. In rocky or mountainous areas, so pretty much all of the valley. Once per day, the wearer can create an area of fog equivalent to obscuring mist. Oh, cool. Baron's just going to put

that on his shoulders for the time being. We can talk about the rest of it later. Everyone else went off to that cave. He's also wearing a plus one chain shirt. That's great. Giant size. Giant size also wearing a plus one chain shirt. Oh, that's great. Giant size. Giant size. And has a plus one spiked chain.

Which is also giant size. Yes, it is large. Well, we can sell them at the town that we're going to bankrupt as soon as we get back to civilization. The economy we're going to devastate. Completely devastate. Meanwhile, back at the cave. Cave. The cave.

Della and Nestor are climbing up there. Baron and Umlo are looking through Kragmold, and Sir Will is just keeping an eye out for any sort of danger, and you see a horde of dragons. Another one. I told you. He turns around the cave mouse. I told you. He turns around the caveman.

I told you. I told you we were about to come this way. Sir Will just gives a thumbs up. And I'm in an amazing amount of

pain. And I'm still feeling very good about this decision. Does Nestor need some healing by the way? Yeah, you have

like burning acid. Yeah, I'm covered in sear marks. Della will anoint you. Thank you. Thank you, my love.

Don't call me that. And Baron's slowly making his way back. Thank Thank you, my love. Don't call me that. And Baron's slowly making his way back as you're looking through all this. Thank you, everyone's love. Don't call me that either. It's not possessive.

Alright, so Della and Nestor, you find in the back of the cave is a sizable pile of bones mixed with this small treasure hoard. You see a magical armor, mixed with this small treasure hoard. You see a magical armor, a

large suit of chain mail, six masterwork chain shirts. If I don't say they're large, don't assume they're large. A locked gauntlet, a large gauntlet, a magical longsword, a magical

rapier, a large masterwork heavy crossbow, a masterwork quarterstaff, a potion. Skins fades on the quarterstaff. It's like, who gives a shit about a potion? It's just a really nice stick. What the hell? It's got a nice sheen on the bottom. It's been polished.

Look at the workmanship on this stick You also find A potion A leather scroll case With two scrolls inside A broken water clock A climber's kit Which will help

Four sun rods. A clear quartz crystal. A smoky quartz crystal. A red-brown spinel or spinal. A golden-yellow topaz. A silver ring set with azurite. Hang on. We can always do this later.

19 platinum pieces, 288 gold pieces, 1,360 silver pieces, and 2200 kappas. Nice. This is blood money, Nestor. We shouldn't take any of it. Your thoughts? Delicous. What, you think he was a drug dealer or something? I think he was a...

Blood diamonds, I tell you. I'm confiscating this. I'm taking this in as evidence, then. Does that satisfy you? That sounds like a terrific idea. Good. Spellcraft, the magic stuff? Yes, please do. Tatala.

25. Nope. 25. All right. Perfect. I'm still walking back. I know, but later we do it. Yeah.

You know, the crystals and stuff are all worth something. We can deal with that later. They're worth various amounts of gold. But in terms of the magical stuff, plus one banded mail. Oh. That was the armor. Mm-hmm.

A plus one rapier. A potion of cure moderate. Good. There we go. The leather scroll case holds two scrolls, a scroll of flaming sphere And something that may have come in handy A few episodes ago A scroll of water breathing

They did have it out here And it's on the way to the thing And the last thing Is a plus one And it's on the way to the thing. It's really close to the temple. And the last thing is a plus one corrosive longsword. Oh, that's cool. Whoa. For all you frontline fighters that don't exist in this party. Yeah, I can use a longsword as long as it reshapes itself.

Could be a great sword for you. How? reshapes itself? Could be a great sword for you. How? Upon command, a corrosive weapon becomes slick with acid that deals an extra 1d6 points of acid damage on a successful hit.

The acid doesn't harm the wielder. The effect remains. Plus one corrosive longsword. Pretty cool little horde. And you've got a bunch of stuff that you can sell for cold, hard cash. Oh, wait a minute. So, Sir Will

can't use the sword. Sir Will also can't use the locked gauntlet, right? Yeah, I mean, if it doesn't say large, it's medium. Nothing ever says small. It never says small longsword plus one. It's hard out there for a half-blood.

It is. It is. Matthew, I just emailed you the list of items. Awesome. I was typing. I was with you until you got to all the crystals. Yeah. Which one was smoky?

How much is the smoky one? I can learn one of those spells. The flaming spear. Flaming spear is great. You can just control it as a move action every round also by the way smoky crystal one of the finest one of my favorite

porn stars from the 1970s oh boy so what do you guys want to do rest in this cave and wait for the other come here to

come back yeah let's wait for the mate mate yeah yeah I mean what was going on here Craig mold you're thinking he was coming to take this thing.

To do it by name, or at least that's what he called it. The black-headed beast to take it back to the pits. Now, did you see fighting pits? We never did. We heard them. We still have never seen them. We think we knew where they were, but we never actually saw them. Right.

You were guesstimating from when you made your long trek across the valley where all the camps were that it may have been to the north, whereas to the south was the giant village. But you just heard sounds of, like, cheering. You didn't see anything. I would like to see them. I would, too, actually. I hear they're beautiful this time. If he could have captured you, he was happy to take you back alive and throw you in

as entertainment, but... So, can you tell us, is that what he was trying to do was capture this thing and bring it back? Yeah,

I mean, that was his plan. He'd been, like, stalking it for a while. Oh, wow. He was a hunter.

So... And he does have wild empathy. And he was a ranger, I assume. Yeah, he had ranger levels. And so, he was trying to stalk it

and waiting for the right time and then you guys came and killed it, which infuriated him. So, he was going to either kill you or try and take some of you back to be thrown into the pits. Jeez, sorry.

But that plan, not unlike many other giant plans in the past month or so, has been foiled. And now you've got, yet again, more treasure. But a long way to go to get to the other side of the valley. What do you do?

Ken, well, Baron will bring up the giant bag of holding for all the treasure first off. Okay, got things filling up. And he just wants to know, does this cave look natural? Or would it be worth doing a stone check, stone counting check to see if he has any secret doors in here? It looks pretty natural. Got it. It's a pretty natural cave, yep. Before the chimera

came, probably some other beast lived there. Yeah, why don't we rest? Yeah, I agree. Get some more healing. Yeah, this seems like a secluded enough place. A little valley. Not to mention that people that probably know of this beast are not going to

come anywhere near it yeah so yeah we should be safe yeah we should be good um yeah that was a good haul yeah reading troy's email good call nester yeah thank you sir will gives you a high five that's right see i thought now it's not a bit of a low five, but yeah, got you. Thank you. So we're resting? Yeah, let's rest. All right, you want to get some... All right, I also have...

Yeah, I can pop off some Lay on Hands. I have four left. I could use... Fire off my Cure Lights. All right. All right! Let's do this! So a little healing action, a little Lay on Hands, a little praying,

and you camp out in the rain. So maybe you're staying in the cave to stay dry for the night. And it rains all throughout the night, but you wake up to a not sunny, another gloomy post-rain day, but it's no longer raining the next day. Nice. Much like one we're experiencing in real life in New York right now. I like to make the game environment

be exactly similar to what's happening in New York. So when we play in the winter, regardless of the location, it will be cold. Are we coming up on winter in the game anyway? Yes. You almost could say winter is coming, but I wouldn't say that. No, we shouldn't say that. We would never? Yes. You almost could say winter is coming.

But I wouldn't say that. No, we shouldn't say that. We would never say that. We probably shouldn't say that. You don't want to infringe on anything. Cold season is approaching. The coldest of the four seasons is approaching. Incipient. It's nigh.

All right. Troy, are we... About to die? I hate to ask to turn in homework when you forgot to ask for it. What about those fleas? All right. Troy, are we... About to die? I hate to ask to turn in homework when you forgot to ask for it. What about those fleas? Thank you. Oh, yes. Did they all drown?

They should have drowned. You know what happened is being underwater... Raise your hand if you like Grant. ...staved off the flea roll last time because I forgot it. But thank you, Grant, for reminding me this time. That sounds like a bottle cap to me. No, I'm not going to take a snitch bottle cap. I'm not going to forgot it. But thank you, Grant, for reminding me this time. That sounds like a bottle cap to me. I'm not going to take a snitch bottle cap. I'm not going to take it.

I'm not going to take it. Nope, nope, nope, nope. By the way, look this up. It takes 24 hours for fully submerged fleas to drown. In real life or in the game? In real life. Ah.

Wow. So if you just let the water breathing run off and died, the fleas would have died with you. Yeah. After a few hours. That option is still available to you. After several hours, yes. The fleas on our corpses would have died.

Bit of a scorched earth policy. We did it. We did it, guys. All right. So roll. If you fail, it's going to affect you the next day. And everyone, right? Everyone except Della.

And what's the DC? Yeah, it goes going to affect you the next day. And everyone, right? Everyone except Della. And what's the DC? It goes up every day. 29 for Baron. Ooh! That's good. 25. 26. You're good, Nestor.

26. 28 for Sir Willamette. You're good. Umlo and Lexington. 17 for Lexington. Lexington is... just give him sickened. Not that he doesn't... Umlo made it! Alright, so Um's is okay. Yes. So Lexington... You've been carrying Just give him sickened. Not that he doesn't... Umlo made it!

All right, so Um's is okay. Yes. So Lexington... You've been carrying around those fleas for a long time. I know. Just... All right. Scratching away.

There's so much that we've had to deal with because we don't have a cleric. Like these ability damage, these fucking fleas. It's truly not worth it. Just not. We just need to get a cleric. This is a PSA.

This is like a 150-hour PSA. Always have a cleric in your party, people. I think need to get a cleric. This is a PSA. This is like a 150 hour PSA. Always have a cleric in your party, people. I think we should do a homebrew disorganized play where we play the fleas on one of our bodies in an adventure.

That'd be really good. A party of fleas. Would you call it flea theater? Flea market? Flea circus? Flea circus? All right.

You guys head up going back to where you first discovered this footpath so we perhaps should not have strayed perhaps but you did find some treasure

uh and you continue north again you go north you know couple hundred yards or so and the valley

turns again and starts going south southeast so Baron you must just be like, what is going on here? This is so windy. I hope this eventually leads us back from whence we came. And you go south-southeast for two miles, three miles or so, and then it starts going north again.

And you go north for about three more miles or so and it starts to look very, very familiar up ahead. And sure enough you get back to where you fought the Veds

at their campfire. Oh, that's right. You come to a four-way crossing. And you know, off to the northwest, basically, takes you back out of the valley. Remember this point. You may need it someday. It might be nice to go right now. If you went that way,

that takes you to where you fought the Etten and the Rift Drake. There's another passage going south, southeast, that you haven't gone down. But the passageway that you know brings you back is north, northeast. You guys are

coming from south, southwest. South, southeast very likely takes us back to the Citadel. Yeah. And so I think we should just go. The plan was to go the way that we know where we're going.

Right. Yep. Agreed. Yeah. All right. So you guys just love this, like, lawful good paladin following this neutral evil assassin anywhere he goes. Yeah, yeah. But, I mean, there's kind of good reason for it.

We found common ground. Yeah, exactly. You know? This is what adventures are all about. Yeah. Your girlfriend in the sky. Yeah, yeah.

We're going to keep using that. Relations have been improved because originally she was, what was she originally? The whore in the sky. The whore in the sky, right. He's coming around, Matthew.

He's coming around. Bit by bit, he's being converted. All right, so you guys go north-northeast. Yes. And talk about a walk down memory lane. It's not but a couple hours as night is approaching, maybe, or it's getting darker. You know that you probably only have a couple more hours before you're going to want to camp out.

You see up in the distance the campfire where you found a burned skull. That's right. What was his name? None of you would know it, but it was Finial Smick. And we never got a chance to talk to him. Yeah, they would have told us about this horrible...

Sure, yeah. There's this guy that was burned alive, you know, his name was... Maybe they remembered it. So maybe we connected it with this fire. Should we collect his bones so we can return it back? I feel like you took the part of him, maybe. Didn't we try to talk with Dead with him? Yeah, you tried.

But it failed. Yeah, we tried to use the scroll. So you see that campfire, and it's just going to be this rush of emotions and you're also walking by a couple of those north and south passages that you hadn't checked out before but i'm assuming you just want to keep forging yeah i'm assuming everyone but baron wants to keep there he goes dangling carrots i'm assuming everybody but grant wants to be the first thing. We'll come back this way on the way back. Can I just detect

alignments down that passageway? Can I just see if there's any detect magic? No alignments. Mythical detect magic? I'm saying no alignments, tons of magic. Troy's discount magic warehouse. No alignments, tons of magic. Troy's discount magic warehouse.

No alignments, tons of magic. As night begins to fall, you come upon the campsite where Sir Will impaled the head of a creature known as Gristlecracker. Oh, right. The campfire is still there. And is this a place that you'd want to camp for the night that's as good as any, or do you want to keep pushing on into the dark of night? That's a good question. I think it's probably a good idea to rest.

I mean, it's, you know... Again, no rush. No, there's no rush. I can't see yeah we shouldn't travel too far in the deepest dark of night yeah I'm just gonna look for tracks one more time just to make sure we're not in the middle of a big you know crossing of

giants and chimeras 19 19 tracks um I mean there are giant tracks, but it doesn't look like anything different from what you've seen before. Great.

By now, probably the Gristlecrack tracks, that group has been washed away by a number of rains that have happened over the past couple days. I mean, I have the calendar here. I have been keeping track with it. And let's just look back for the hell of it and see how long it's been since you were here last.

Right now I have it as the fifth day. It's Toil Day, also known as Tuesday, of Lamashan is the name of the month. And it's the fifth. And you... What month is that correlated? October. Oh, no.

It's basically October. It was a very pretty fall. So wait, has it been a year since the adventure started? No. Didn't it start in the fall? Okay. No, you... You didn't say you reserved the right to change that.

I did, but I've been keeping track ever since we started book three. You left True Now. You did say you reserved the right to change that. I did, but I've been keeping track ever since we started book three. You left True Now. Well, Baron and Della met with Tom Exposition, and Nestor was released from prison on the 1st of Rova, which is September. September. Oh, okay. Wow. And then the day after that, on Oath Day, the 2nd, you guys left True Now.

Della turns to Nestor and says, It feels like it's been much, much longer. The Gristlecrack fight was on the 17th of Rova. So, I mean, two and a half weeks ago. And now you're back in this spot. Isn't that crazy? It is. When you think about everything you've done and everything you've been through.

And so there's got to be this weird moment like you're replaying those past two and a half weeks in your head as all of you are sitting there and camping and you're thinking about the marsh giant whites. You're thinking about the spire drake and the cave giants that you fought up where Baron discovered possibly his namesake, the Etten and the Smilodons and the hill giants and the whole rush across the giant camp at night crawling under there, fighting the oculus and

fighting Rotter Bloodfreckle, going in there, killing the hill giants in their sleep and then fighting Tharg Three-Eyes and then discovering that chapter house where Baron had this ominous sense of an evil growing around the whole party and maybe even within him. Then you guys climbed up the tower, fought the

Rux and the Cyclops. Then you kept going and came to that strange room with the bear rug and the wedding dress and the chest. Then you discovered Lork and had that whole moment. You went up top, fought the dragon, came back down, went outside the Dark Passage, all

the way to the Temple of Rosak. Coming all the way back. I mean, it's just insane. Meeting Atena. I mean, that's a huge change. Meeting Atena. Understanding more about the history of this valley, what's going on here, the Forge, how it's lit, the religious history.

It's all been in two weeks. Can I have my witty retort, please? She threw a barb at me. I didn't get a chance to get my witty retort in. Oh, sure. What was the barb? I said it felt like it's been much, much longer. She leans over and says,

I feel like I've known you my whole life, too, my dear. Della gets to creep some more. So, yeah, I mean, you just... Point of order. I have a witty retort. He just ran over my retort. I'm sorry. I've ruined your retort

The recap of the entire series I mean it's just It's gotta be this This feeling of like Accomplishment But also like I can't wait to get the fuck Out of this valley

Yeah I'm sick of this valley We're not sick of Of the valley Don't worry Well I think so Wait so So it's been a month

And a month and a half Month and change Game time But then playing time When did we start this What episode did we come into The valley So it's been a month and a half, month and change, game time. But then playing time, when did we start this? What episodes did we come into the Valley in? Come into the Valley, I'll tell you right now, with the Lucratas was episode 83. Oh, wow.

So yeah, 37 episodes. Wow. Wow. Oh my god It's like a work week's worth of hours Can you believe this is all free Alright so You know

I don't know if you guys need more healing But obviously by this point You can do whatever you want You're probably going to be at full now If you're not already Yes sir we'll be at full once we rest. Roll more saves for the fleas next day. I thought it was every few days.

No, it's every day. Every day. He just remembers it every few days. I only remember it. It was the water. And everyone, even those who passed? 19. Natural 20, 30.

All right, Nestor Give yourself second Damn William, willamette 21 for Sir Will You came upon it late So you're okay right now Baron 30

The Baron's 30 And ums And Umlo You made it Okay, um was okay Yeah Lexington failed again All right, so Lexington Aaron's 30 and Um's and... Umlo. You made it. Okay, Umlo's okay? Yeah.

Lexington failed again. All right, so Lexington and Nestor. Nestor's really the only one in Lexington that's being affected by this. But that minus two to Nestor could be the difference between living and dying. Yep. I need to buy some shampoo. And Sir Will, you wake up today...

Yeah, it sucks. It sucks. The sixth day of Lama Shan. Wheel day. A beautiful wheel day and extra beautiful for you. For it is Ascendance Day. Oh! A holiday of the Omadai.

Yes, it is. If I'm not mistaken, that's... Do you know what it is, Troy? No. I think it's... I'm pretty sure it's Do you know what it is Troy? Uh No I think it's I'm pretty sure it's the day That she That they consider to be the holiday

To celebrate her Oh her ascension to godhood Her ascension to godhood And being Replacing Aradin Passing the test of the star stone? No I think it's Replacing Aradin

Like the day that basically They The day that she became the goddess The people of The followers of Aradin Followed In recognizing his Death It's the holiday marking The that she became the goddess, the followers of Aradon followed in recognizing his death. It's the holiday marking the ascension of the goddess Iomedai

after taking the test of the star stone. Yeah, nailed it. So, skin guy. Nailed it. Skin guy at 15 minutes ago. It's very interesting, the whole test of the star stone. Yeah, it's a cool thing. Many have attempted whole test of the star stone. Yeah, it's a cool thing. Many have attempted the test of the star stone.

It's very mysterious. The only publicly known part of the test is that hopefuls must cross the bottomless pit surrounding the star stone cathedral without using a bridge. Yeah. So what happens upon failure? Do we know that? You die. Oh, wow. Yeah.

It's a high risk, high reward There's some people go in there And they die When you play the game of Starstones You win or you die You win or you die So Sir Will, this has to be You know, you're rediscovering

Your connection to Yomadai And you can't You must not be able to You can't help but think of this special day Yeah, it's a big holiday in that church, and I think that Sir Will is, I mean, he's kind of cut off, a little bit alone here. As we know from last episode even,

he was trying to explain one of the acts of the Omadai, and nobody cares, right? And this is a day where, like, when he was growing up, it was a big deal. It would be like doing the Stations of the Cross for Catholics. That's the best example I can have. It's like the people would performers would perform

the Acts of Iomidae. And it would be this huge ceremony and you would have these plays that basically outlined the greatest battles and acts in Iomidae's life. And to a kid, it was really impressive and it drew you in and this is something that he was used to. And to a kid, it was really impressive, and it drew you in,

and this is something that he was used to. So yeah, this holiday would definitely mean a lot to him, but he doesn't really have anybody to share it with. Well, in the morning, when he wakes up, Amlo comes over to Sir Will. He says, I hope you don't mind. I've been preparing a little surprise for you in anticipating this holiday that's important

to you, you know. What's that? He goes into his bag and he pulls out, he's been making a little step stool over the past few weeks.

It's traditional that like people like climb a tiny ladder on Ascendant's Day. That's what he puts it down. It's to say, climb away, my friend.

Oh my God. You hop onto Lexington so down. It's just like, claim away, my friend. Oh, my God. You hop onto Lexi Finns so easily. It's yours. And he's put his little name in it. It's Umlo plus Will, friends forever. Yeah, and so Will, not wanting to offend Umlo, is like, this is a kingly gift. Oh, no. Thank you so much.

I don't. It's nothing. It's a trifle. It's impressive workmanship. You're too kind. How did you... This is amazing. No, it's just that, you know, after you go to bed,

I've been trying to hammer quietly. He sets it down, stands on it, and he's like, Look, I'm almost as tall as you. Yeah, right. And you're a little bit closer to her. So, it's good. Every little bit counts, Samlo. Does it not? Yeah, right. And you're a little bit closer to her. So it's good. Every little bit counts. Does it not?

That's right. So you guys have your moment. He gives you a nice handmade stool. Who knew that he was not only a cook, but a carpenter? We have to invest. It looks terrible. It's the shittiest piece of thing. It doesn't even stand up.

It's got three legs. And so, you know, you're almost exactly in the same point as you were, Sir Will, when you celebrated the Day of the Inheritor. You guys came out of Adiromi's Chapel. You didn't know it as Adiromi's Chapel then, and that was the Day of the Inheritor. And now you're back in pretty much the exact same... Actually, by the way, where you're traveling today,

it's the exact same space you were traveling on the day of the Inheritor. Oh, that's true. Because you guys had left the chapel, and that was the day of the Inheritor. You came back down, and this is where you're going. So there's got to be this feeling of kismet here,

Sir Will. You're regaining some of your power on the days to celebrate the Yom Adai on the Galarian calendar. Right. And it rained the day before and now cleared up. I guess you said it's a little overcast, but it's not raining. And Sir Will passed his flea check. Things are looking up. Things are looking up for the whole party.

There's some close calls, but you're overall doing very well. And you know that the greatest test lies ahead of you. You continue forward for the day. You guys are, like, feeling good. You've been traveling a lot, but, like, the last couple days haven't been fighting. You know, your last fight was the Black Headheaded beast, and before that you had a couple days. So you have a little time to recoup. And eventually you get

to where the valley splits. And way, way, way off in the distance you can still see that scarecrow that led, that was guarding, warning giants, basically, don't go down this way. Because that led to Jabberthier's cave, the marsh giant whites.

In hindsight, don't go down this way. You led to Jarbathir's cave and the marsh giant whites. In hindsight, like, don't go down this way. You have a massive piece of your religious history awaiting you there. Right, but four giants went to do it and got killed,

got attacked by the spire drakes and turned into those whites. And then off to the north, you see those things that lead back up to where those dwarven ruins were, where Baron discovered his name. Foxborough Stadium. Foxborough Stadium. You

guys go due south. And you keep traveling south, south, south, till you get to the other split. And the last time you were here, you took the thinner of the two passageways. And that led you

directly to the gates, right? Led you directly to the gates. Everybody roll a perception check. Nah. 33. Come on! 35 for unusual stonework.

30 for Della. 11. Troy, by any chance were you asking us to look at unusual stonework. 30 for Della. 11. Troy, by any chance, were you asking us to look at unusual stonework? No. I just want... Is it against a spell or a spell-like ability? This fork in the road, you know the right fork takes you back to the cathedral. The left fork is where you want to go.

But Baron, towards the right fork, you hear like buzzing of flies. I tell everyone... Do I get the sense it's like flies from a corpse or a giant fly? Sounds like just a collection of flies around something.

I'll stealth up to it. All right, roll a stealth check. 17. So, Baron, you tell the party, stand back, you hear this, and you start walking back down this passageway that you know is eventually going to lead you back to the gates. And you creep down. You've been here before.

What is that sound? It's getting louder and louder. And you look around the corner and you see a dead horse. Reginald! Covered in flies. I try to approach it. I don't want to alarm Della in case the worst is what I'm thinking. I try to approach it. I don't want to let alarm Della in case the worst is what I'm thinking. I try to identify the horse.

This is right where we left it. Roll a perception check. 16. 16. What very little meat is left on the bones, you can't. Knowledge nature? You can't. You don't know what it is, but I mean, it's clearly a horse.

You can't. Knowledge nature? You can't. You don't know what it is, but I mean, it's clearly a horse. I look around to make sure there's nothing of danger currently in the way that could attack me. You can tell that other animals have come and taken pieces away from it as well. I'll invite the rest of the party. What killed it, though? Can I do a heel check?

Yeah, sure. I'm going to take a perception as well. 18. Heel. 18 heel check. It appears to have had its bones crushed. It looks like there was a struggle, like it ran away to here and was finally overcome by some sort of animal or animals.

20, sorry, 20 perception? 20 perception. 28 perception. 28, all right. So Della and Nestor, you can tell that other animals have come and feasted on whatever's left, but that most likely one animal

delivered the killing blow, ate as much of it as possible, and took off and left the rest as carrion. Does it have a saddle? I mean, yes. There's a saddle nearby. It's Reginald. Does it have... Is it a magical riding yes. There's a saddle nearby. It's Reginald. Does it have...

Is it a magical riding saddle? It's Reginald, Grant. Wait a minute, what? Oh, no. This is what you get, Matthew. This is what you get. We're having a GM that hates all animals and felines. He does hate all companions.

I'm sorry. If you had tied a cat outside, you would have come back and found another cat because they were amazing. What? Oh, Reginald. It flashes back.

You see Gormley walking by the stables while you hang out and sing, Reginald. Remember that first Drake fight where we rode Reginald out? That's right. He'd drag us down the river.

You hear Rag's voice. Seems to like you. I don't have my shoes. This is great. But she's what you're welcome to take. Oh, God. Why is this happening to me? Why am I reacting this way?

This is horrible. Oh, no. It's because it's a beautiful song. Baron leans over Reginald and says, In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Horst. Horse. Della casts Burning Hands and just cremates. Cremate special. Delicat burning hands and just cremates cremates

and you light the jungle on fire flaming horse chunks flying everywhere like a fucking aster wheel just ahead of the flames. They dive

into the water. And since it's a funeral, Della starts dancing. Oh my god. We put the fun back in funeral

this time. That's right. Thank you to Tony Brown for that other sad version of our theme song. Oh, my God, it's so good. I have a feeling we'll be hearing lots more of it. All right. Let's take the saddle and move on.

You guys grab the saddle, throw it in your saddlebags, and you go back up and you take a new passageway, a new part of the valley. An unexpected journey. That you have yet to traverse. And Baron, roll a survival check. Nine. This passage is going south, obviously.

It looks to be going south-southwest, but you can't tell quite how it matches up to the directions from the living cave painting with a nine. Well, we know from that area it was south-south-east of where that was. No, it was south-south. Yes, excuse me, you're right. South-south-east. So you guys continue going south.

Eventually, the valley opens up a little bit. It was thin, and then it gets wide, and then it gets thin again. The boulder-strewn slopes of the mountains on either side of the valley you've been walking down give way to a series of jagged ravines that completely split the valley floor and Sir Will

you just must pull up on Lexington and feel the touch of a Yomidai watching over you because there is a tremendous stone bridge arching

over the widest of these gorges leading to the other side of the ravine. And the valley ends at this bridge. Maybe there's some kind of concealed entrance or something on the other side. I don't know. Huh.

So we'll start going over the bridge. Well, hold on. Let's not be too hasty. It's a huge arch. Imagine the valley kind of just went like this and started getting narrower and narrower and then there's a big ravine. And you can see the other side

of the ravine, but the only thing connecting it, this gorge, is a huge arched stone bridge. I'm going to check it for traps as we get to the foot of the bridge. Are there any markings on the bridge? Nope. Sixteen.

Sixteen does not appear to be trapped. If you walk up to the edge of it, you can see probably it goes, like you can see the other side of the ravine, but you can't see the other side of the bridge because the bridge is arched. Does that make sense? And so you think that the apex is probably

a hundred feet from where you are. That is huge! If it's, you know, assuming that it's the same length on the other side, it's probably a 200 foot long bridge. The arch appears to be stable. There's no handholds on either side.

And you look down at what Sir Will probably sees as a bottomless pit. Right. Like you would have to do if you were taking the test of the Starstone. But in reality, it's probably a hundred or so feet down

to the rocky bottom. In reality, it has a bottom. It will kill you if you fall. This is a true statement. Wow. I know on a casual look, it looks stable. Baron wants to do a quick engineering to see how long it is

and if it's stable. 21. 21 stonework. Appears to be sound, Baron. Appears to be sound Appears to be sound Craftsmanship No handrails No handrails it's just like

Remember the last time we went across the bridge with no handrails 5, 10, 15, 20, 25 30 feet wide 100 feet down Place yourselves on I wish I had group fly. Yeah, that would be good. I don't want to walk across this thing.

Okay, let's do it. I'm sure it'll be fine. Sir Will is... Hey, quick question. Is Sir Will immune to fear? Oh, yeah. That's a question for you, Troy. You do not feel any fear right now, that's for question for you Troy um you do not feel

any fear right now that's for sure okay you feel touched yeah yeah he feels lucky

today so uh he's gonna start seems to be stable enough wouldn't you say Dalla Nestor

well I can fly so really up to you guys yes what is your fear but yeah it looks alright to me, guys. What is your fear? Yeah, it looks alright to me. Looks good to us. Isn't that right, Lexington? Lexington's like, nope.

He's like, alright. Yeah, I'm a tad concerned that the Dungeon Master pulled out a map especially for this, so there's got to be something here, but apart from that... True, there is definitely something here, and there's no handholds, which means falling death, but... We must... Falling death but we must be falling death we must of course carry on you're very observant sir we must report this bridge to osha i mean

yeah we had this is definitely a clear violation of osha standards and you're in europe i remember nothing had a railing like the old castles you go up on the ramparts like yeah easy 40 foot fall but if you step took the wrong step. I think this had to be built by giants. Yeah. You know, it used centuries ago, but it looks firm, just

arching beautifully over this gorge. And so you guys continue forward. Is anyone leading the party? Should we spell? Sir Will will lead

the party. Okay. Sir Will. No stealth. Yeah, I think no sense in stealth. Yeah, you can't stealth on a wide open bridge. Yeah. So Sir Will's trot, tr Okay, Sir Will. No stealth. Yeah, I think no sense in stealth. It's the middle of the day. You can't stealth on a wide open bridge.

Yeah. So Sir Will's trot, trot, trot, trot. The sun's kind of shining in and gleaming off the Highbury Lance. And the tattered flag blowing in the wind. Whipping in the wind of Highbury. The pennon. The pennon. The Highbury. The Pennon. The Pennon. The Highburn.

And roll for initiative. And scene. Let me load up Advanced Stone Giant, level 15. You have flame? You have flame, Rob. You don't have it ready, right? I didn't prepare it. All right.

So you begin making your way up this bridge and the sun's coming in it's beautiful and as you get to the top Sir Will you are ahead of everyone

you are the first one to crest the top of the bridge and you see two creatures ahead of everyone, you are the first one to crest the top of the bridge. And you see two creatures that you recognize but you have never yet fought. About 20 feet

away from the end of the bridge. Now that you can see... Oh, all the way, like 100 feet away. Yeah, 80 feet away. Now that you've reached the top, you can see the other end of the bridge. All the way, like 100 feet away. 80 feet away. Now that you've reached the top you can see the other end of the bridge. And about 20 feet away from the edge of the bridge, on the bridge itself,

you see two stone giants. Whoa. And one of them heard you coming and throws a boulder directly at you. Oh my god. While the other one just rears down and starts

charging at you. Oh my god. Well, two can play the charge game, dog. They sure will. Next week. No! Oh!

Fuck you, dog! Fuck you! It's been too long since I said fuck you! It has, it has. It has, it has. It has. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Powerhouse and Tate production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015. Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paizo.

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