The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 15 - The Belkzen Hostility Orc-hestra
Episode Date: September 8, 2015The beat goes on as the companions assault a tower filled with orcs, rockin and rollin' to the magical drums of an enemy skald! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To bec...ome an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast.
The war drums usher in a wave of destruction.
To the west, another massive boulder smashes into one of the guard towers,
which completely collapses, and you see people beneath it just standing there,
and they're covered in rubble.
To silence the beat, the party must face an enemy
like they've never seen before.
And then you see this ripped orc
that looks a lot different from the other guys
with, like, blue war paint across his face
just violently beating a big drum.
Oh, jeez.
That's awesome looking.
Will they succumb to his deadly song?
He laughs.
Ha ha ha ha ha with his fangs.
He would have loved to face.
It's not funny.
It's not funny at all.
The adventure continues right now. howdy partners welcome back to another episode of the glass cannon podcast i bet you've always
kept yourself up at night wondering what would happen if a bloodthirsty
orc got himself a band scholarship to college. You're about to find out in this episode.
This is Grant Berger, the voice inside Baron's head, and just wanted to say thanks so much for
continuing to listen. We wanted to give a quick shout out to Vanessa Yotamoto, who is Rapo Savick on DeviantArt.
R-A-P-O-S-A-V-Y-K.
She did all of our wonderful portraits of our characters.
You can check out on our Facebook and on our website.
Please hit her up if you'd like any more work done.
We also want to let you guys know that we read and respond to every email we receive.
So please send us any show ideas you have thoughts to glass cannon podcast at gmail.com
or shoot us any thoughts on twitter at glass cannon pod all right y'all let's beat this drum
the war drum there's no guitar there's no guitar i thought you're doing barracuda i'm sorry
i did too the orc there's an orc comes out with an electric guitar so you guys
just had a pretty
brutal
battle
with some orcs
a family
that has now
changed forever
you were a part
of their
life changing experience
and now you stand
before this tower
ready to go in
it seems like
this lork had some
trouble last time. Yep, he
hit himself in the face for
18 points of damage. And almost killed himself.
Yeah, almost killed himself. He's really
still shaking off the rust.
A little sloppy. Still shaking off the rust.
And now,
as you stand before this tower,
I believe Baron
pulls you all aside
just Galabras
I say
Galabras
it's a hell of a thing killing a man
take away all he's got
and all he's ever going to have
hell
you may not know this,
but there's things that gnaw at a man worse than dying.
I know this much.
A gun is a tool, Galabras.
No better or no worse than any other tool.
An axe, a shovel, or anything.
A gun is as good or as bad as the man using it.
Same as your mace.
Remember that.
Well,
I sure killed the hell
out of the guy back there.
Are you fucking mocking me
with that voice?
No.
I'm just trying to remember
Unforgiven.
What a great goddamn movie.
Oh, yeah.
Fucking great movie.
We all watched that one night.
We did, yeah.
Thank you.
It's one of my favorite movies.
Not me.
I'm not actually friends with these people.
Just podcast friends.
That's why.
Thank you, Baron.
Thank you.
So you guys want to just go leave Trinow forever?
Yep. That's the plan. leave Trunau forever? Yep.
That's the plan.
I'll see why not.
Be laid out into orc territory.
Right.
It's a lot safer outside of these walls.
All right.
So the last thing that happened was the door was slightly ajar,
and you saw the body of one of the Trunau guards just kind of limp out.
So you stand, not too,
you stand not too far away from that.
I muted my mic to burp,
but I realized I was still talking.
So I don't know why.
Oh,
I had to burp so much.
Whoa.
I heard that.
Every mic picked that up.
And no one's the wise.
We just ate,
we just ate like five pounds of pulled pork.
Oh,
that's right.
That Matthew made. Matthew, a.k. Oh, that's right. That Matthew made.
Matthew, a.k.a. Gormley.
Delicious, delicious.
On an undetermined date and time.
Yes.
Absolutely delicious.
Pulled an orc, you might say.
So good.
Quit aping my shit, Matthew.
I'm sick of it.
God damn it.
Pulling porks and killing orcs.
Here we go.
I, for myself, I think we should go to that tower that we saw the guy thrown out of.
It seems like Troy's been drawing us there literally for the past four episodes.
Well, remember, where you guys are, it's kind of, if you're making your way through the city,
it's the tower, you're on top of it now that you've gone through these closely packed houses.
And we just saw a guy fall out of there, right?
Like out of the front door or off the top?
No, like out of the front door.
The door is on its hinges,
and this guy just fell out of it.
And remember, the last building you went into
where you found dead Carl,
there was a plate still jingling.
I don't know, it could be the same guys, it could be not, but
this is all happening very fast.
It's all happening so fast. And correct me if I'm wrong, but we
heard something. You're wrong.
Somebody about
a possible
something large
outside the walls.
Yes, giant creature.
A few eps ago, yeah, you guys saw off on the Yes, giant creature. A few eps ago,
you guys saw off on the horizon some gigantic creature.
We saw it.
As a reminder to our listening audience,
we are playing the Giant Slayer campaign.
Don't forget to go to paizo.com
and buy stuff from them.
Don't go to paizon.com
and order your Italian supplies.
Go to paizo.com and get your Italian supplies. Go to paizo.com
and get your role-playing supplements
and campaign.
I want some extra virgin olive oil.
Apollonia, no!
Apollonia, no!
This is like cold seal
right through my Italian heart.
Could you say your,
no, don't say your last name.
Pizza.
I don't want people to know where you live.
We've already introduced My last name
Say your last name for us
Capitacasa
Capitacasa
King of the castle
Captain of the floor
Right
You know what that means
I don't know
That only took one year
Of Italian
Alright so
Alright so
And the door is ajar
It's open
The door at the base of the tower
is hanging on its hinges
can we still see the drummer?
you just see a shape
not its shape but you can't really get a good look
of what this creature looks like up there
but how far away would you say?
the creature is on top of the tower?
on top of the tower
I don't think I realized that
now it's all coming together that I was stupid
how tall is the tower? top of the i don't think i realized that now it's all coming together that i was stupid how tall is the tower uh i i should know exactly but let's say like 30 feet it may be 40 should we
climb that shit with our climbing gear we just got and the creature looks uh to be like a giant
giant size no no medium size creature just a creature yeah, the same size as you. 30?
Is it 30 to 40 feet?
Yeah, I mean,
I can look up
the exact thing,
but this is a
like a crinolated
guard tower.
If I were to take
a shot at it,
would I?
Oh, no, no, no.
You can't.
What a...
And the drums are coming...
It's like you can
turn into an eagle.
This thing is up there
drumming.
Okay.
Yeah, beating on a drum. That's what you can see. an eagle. This thing is up there drumming. Okay.
Yeah, beating on a drum.
That's what you can see.
You just see this motion of like,
this creature is beating on the drum up there.
Let's go kill this motherfucker.
Yeah, hey, take out the drums.
You hurt the morale.
Let's do it.
First you get the drum, then you get the money.
They are 40 feet high.
I love when I have the actual answer in front of me.
Okay, 40 feet high.
So are you guys going through the front door?
Are we trying to think of how to... All right, yeah, I'm going to...
Lorca will try to stealthily open the front door.
You said it's ajar, just kind of slide it open?
Yeah. Peek in. So of slide it open? Yeah.
Peek in.
So you're stealthing?
Yeah.
Five.
Don't fucking fail, man.
I failed.
God damn it.
You definitely failed.
You look in, and there are three orcs standing there in a round room that's probably
I don't know, 30 feet
in diameter, give or take.
And you see on the far side
of the room are stairs leading
up to a second floor, which would then
you presumably lead to the top of the tower.
And you
kind of like try to just move the
door very quietly to peek your head
in, and it makes a really loud sound like falls off a stage.
These orcs turn around and look at you.
And all of a sudden the drumming right after the sound of the door,
the drum song stops abruptly and changes and becomes like much more rhythmic
and brutal and
loud and ferocious
and you see the orcs
start to change in their demeanor
listening to this song
roll for initiative
it's John Bonham
was he Rush?
the drummer from Rush
isn't Moon the drummer from Rush? That's Moon. Isn't Moon the drummer from Rush?
No, that's Moon.
Moon is the drummer from fucking who cares?
Old music is terrible.
I'm a Katy Perry fan.
Who's the guy from...
Actually, I'm a Swifty.
Def Leppard.
I hope he has one arm.
What has seven arms and sucks?
Neil Peart is the drummer from Rush.
Yes.
Okay, anybody over 20?
Wow.
Wow, I thought I had more time.
This is a rough one.
Women, not teens, eh?
Wow.
Let me just tell you. Why don't you just tell me
the number you had? Gormley?
16. 14 for Lork.
Baron? 11. Wow, this is all going in order. Galormley? 16. 14 for Lork. Baron?
11.
Wow, this is all going in order.
Galabras?
7.
7, 11.
The same exact
initiative order
as the last time
you guys played.
Just much,
much,
much lower.
All right.
Gormley.
So,
so Lork is at the door,
right? Yep. Right. The wolf at the door. And Baron's behind. And Baron, so Lork is at the door, right?
Yep.
Right.
The wolf at the door.
And Baron's behind.
And Baron's behind Lork.
Maybe he would have stealthed more successfully,
but whatever.
Do I have to move to see any of the orcs?
Is my question.
Um, well,
you'd have to get into the room.
Could he get a catty corner to the door?
Well, I don't know how,
I just don't know how the line of sight works.
If you just can see them.
It's not getting
all wrapped up in it.
Just look at it
and decide.
It's you or the master.
Yeah, I don't know,
but I don't know
what the rules are.
If you break a rule,
we'll let you know,
but the rule is
it's up in the air.
You're listening
to the final episode
of the Fox Canopodcast.
I feel like that's not the rule.
I feel like the sheet
probably says
you need a clear line of sight.
You can see through
every corner.
Every corner of your square has to go through unab need to clear line of sight. No, you can see through every corner. Every corner of your square
has to go through
unabated to every corner
of their square
to have line of sight.
And that is like,
does not happen a lot.
Okay, so you can...
When you can actually see them.
You can see that one guy then
in the back,
the one that is closest
to the stairs leading up.
Yeah.
Evil eye.
Evil eye.
AC.
It rolled a 15. Evil eye. Evil eye. AC. Uh,
it rolled a 15.
It saves.
All right.
So for one round,
minus two,
the AC and Gormley will then cackle to extend it to two rounds.
You son of a bitch. Let's,
uh,
let's attack every other monster.
Cackling fool.
All right.
Lork.
Lork.
Really?
Yeah. Um, okay. Lork? Really? Yeah.
Okay.
Lork is going to...
I love this music.
Yeah.
Lork is going to take two shots.
He's going to do his...
Rapid shot?
Rapid shot.
Oh, he's whipping out his bow?
He's whipping out his bow.
He has rapid shot?
He has rapid shot.
So tell me about rapid shot to our listening fans that don't know the rules of Pathfinder.
It allows you to take an extra shot in a full attack action.
And a minus, though, right?
You don't get your full attack bonus, do you?
Correct.
It's a penalty to both shots.
And, yeah, so it's a little bit harder to hit.
But, you know, he gormily lowered the guy's AC,
so I think it's a good time to do two shots.
If you just do one shot, it's more accurate, but does less damage.
Right.
So I'm going to try to do two shots.
Basically, I want to try to take a step back from, like,
rushing right into these guys because in the last episode or two,
it's been brutal because they have these giant blades that do huge amounts of damage
and Lork went down last
time below zero. So he's
trying to avoid it
if at all possible. Sure, sure, sure.
He'll take two shots. Now, in their defense,
you were the one that almost killed yourself.
I know, I know.
With one of their weapons, though. Yeah, and Orc
almost killed him.
It was the Orc side of me.
If you accidentally shoot this bow into your eye and go unconscious.
Don't even bring it up, man.
Don't say it.
Don't say it.
All right.
So shooting at the guy that Gormley has evil-eyed.
First shot.
Miss.
Second shot.
16 to hit.
16 hits.
All right.
Thanks, Rapid Shot. Thank hits. All right.
Rapid shot.
Thank you.
Rapid shot.
Three points of damage.
You know, that's going to be good if I can give you the bit of luck.
Yeah.
If you do the rapid shot with that.
Because you're rolling four times.
That's true.
I think you all need to stop scheming about taking bit of luck away from me.
Baron's been getting a lot of touching.
This is just a theoretical. This is just a theoretical.
This is a wild theoretical.
Quit your metagame theories.
As if I ever stopped touching you.
When I think about
you, I touch my dwarf.
That's exactly
what the song sounds like in my head.
It's Baron's turn.
Baron is going to
put his pistol between Lork's legs.
Once again.
And he's going to shout, love gun.
He's going to shout.
Grant's cracking himself up.
I crack Skid up too.
I got Skid.
I got Skid.
Just because you didn't think it was funny.
I did think it was kind of funny.
All right, good.
Just not as funny as you.
All right, I'm going to roll, and I'm going to punch Joe in the face later.
Which guy are you shooting at?
The guy with the minus AC that Joe also shot at.
Ah, fair enough.
And I'm going to get, how many squares is that?
15?
20?
You could do up close and deadly.
Up close and deadly.
So that is a
17 against Touch AC
That is a hit
Oh yeah
I know it's not gonna be a 4
10 points of damage
It is as you say
Below 0
Get that grip point back
Oh yeah grip point my man See that yeah, grip point, my man.
See, that's another reason to try to stay ranged and do bows
that I didn't even think of until now is the Orc Ferocity.
All I can do is move towards you.
Yeah, they can't.
One guy died last episode.
Just trying to move towards you.
Staggering towards.
And I had to let it go because that's what he would do.
Like, I'll get you.
Yeah, he thought he had the stamina to push through.
Nope.
Not so much.
All right.
Galabras, Finn.
All you guys get to go before my...
Oh, sweet.
...horks.
All right.
Well, I am actually standing next to Lork, so I will, in fact, give him a bit of luck.
All right.
My first time.
All right.
Now, where do you...
My first time being touched by a virgin.
Yeah, where do you...
Like a virgin. Wasn. Where do you like a virgin
wasn't Della Reese
touched you for the
very first time.
Let's sing more
Madonna on the show.
Oh, man.
How many done any
my favorite
McDonald's?
We've hardly done
any.
Let's keep it that
way.
Like a virgin.
Whoa.
Copyright.
Two twenties.
Next time.
No, it's parody. Yeah, you're right. Roll 220s. Next time.
No, it's parody.
Yeah, you're right. It's parody.
Fair use.
Okay.
This guy on the far right corner.
So these orcs are kind of spread out in the room.
It's a circular shaped room.
And the guy on the far right
is going to throw a javelin at Lork.
Lork the orc.
And he misses.
All right.
Okay.
The next guy.
Dodged it.
The next guy, the one who has the low AC, with his last ditch effort, he starts swinging around this bolas.
Do you know what that is?
A bola.
A bola.
Oh, the S is silent?
Yes.
A bola has claimed so many lives.
Well, they're bolas.
Yeah.
So he swings around.
A bolo tie.
A bola.
And throws it at Lork's legs.
Critical threat.
Fuck.
Which is probably the best thing for you,
because it doesn't do a div.
It does not confirm,
but
it does seven points
of non-lethal damage to Lork,
and Lork, it tangles up your legs
and you trip and fall to the ground.
Alrighty. Shit. This is really awesome. Do you know what that is? It's like a little... and Lork, it tangles up your legs, and you trip and fall to the ground. All righty.
Shit.
This is really awesome.
Do you know what that is?
It's like a little...
Another tangle foot bag?
No, it's got like two strings with little...
No, I know what it all is, yeah,
but it's the same effect, right?
And you are just falling to the ground.
All right.
And then the other dude comes up
to Lork laying on the ground.
Yes! And actually, you would step as close as possible. And the other dude comes up to Lork laying on the ground. Yes.
And actually, you would step as close as possible.
And takes a swing with his orc double axe.
And misses.
That's a helpless Lork.
I would say.
That wasn't helpless.
You know, he'd be a little bit closer,
because right now Lork is 15 feet tall on the ground,
so he'd be right there.
Fair enough.
Yep.
Okay, round dos.
Gormley.
Gormley.
Gormley is going to...
shoot her crossbow at this...
Okay, so she's going to shoot her crossbow
at the guy who just advanced on Lork.
Okay, minus four to attack.
Even if he's prone on the ground?
You set a precedent.
Yeah, yeah, I'm just trying to think.
I feel like it's different circumstances, but...
He's still on the ground. I mean. I feel like it's different circumstances, but... Oh.
He's still on the ground.
I mean, if anything, it's even better now,
because last time, he could get up.
Could absolutely attack from the ground with his gun.
All right. Lurk can't do shit.
That's fair, that's fair.
He's all tangled up.
That's fair.
Tangled up in blue.
19 to hit.
That's a hit.
Fuck yes.
Seven points of damage. Damn. Glamour is busting out this guy. He is, but... At or a hit. Fuck yes. Seven points of damage.
Damn.
Gormley is busting out this crossbow.
He is at or below zero.
Holy shit.
Nice work.
Wow.
Wowza wowza.
So we have two guys.
Two guys at or below.
Actually, the other guy died.
The other guy died, yeah.
Oh, great.
The guy at the stairs.
He's the one that threw it.
No, no, no.
I think we had four in here to begin with.
No, there were three. The guy that threw the
bolas. He hit Lork.
He's down. Yeah, his last dying
action was to put me down.
It was a trip of a frontline fire.
Okay, it is now
Lork's turn.
Can I do...
Is it possible to do a full withdrawal?
A disguise check?
To, like, roll out of the way?
And just get out of there?
You would be squandering the luck.
That's true, it's only one round.
But can he attack melee from the ground?
Well, what are my options here?
Your options, if you want to do full withdrawal,
you could stand up and move your normal amount of spaces.
I'm wrapped up in a
bola.
I mean is it only
one round?
It was enough to
trip you.
Oh it's just a
trip.
Yeah you're tripped.
Oh okay.
I'm sorry that's
why I thought it
was just like the
tangle foot bag.
I thought it kept
me wrapped up.
Yeah no no no.
That was a tangle
burn bag that hit
that time.
I thought that it
was an ongoing
effect.
Okay so then
orc double axe.
That's brutal.
And you're laying
on the ground.
Does that lower your AC?
Or no?
Do you go flat-footed
on the ground?
No.
You might want to
hold your action
and let me kill him.
Oh yeah, that's a great idea.
Yeah, good idea.
I'll hold my action
until I can get up
without incurring
an attack of opportunity.
I will ready an action.
If I can get up without incurring an attack of opportunity. I will ready an action. If I can get up
without incurring an attack of opportunity,
I will get up and
fire my bow
at somebody. I can't do rapid shot getting
up, but I can fire once.
Okay.
It is Baron's turn.
Baron said,
as usual, let's let a real man take
care of things.
He's just mad about the bit of luck.
That was such bad timing, Galabros.
I apologize.
You can't give a man with no luck a little bit of luck.
Never again.
No, no, don't let this sour you on it.
I'm going to take this guy down.
Regular shot.
I'm not going to fucking grit him because I can't get a grip point back. Well, if I
kill him after he's below zero, will I get
a grip point back? No, because
he's already... Right, okay.
So I'm gonna regular...
Ooh, 24.
That's a hit.
Rolling great.
Three.
Okay, and that was
yeah he's still up
yeah he's still up
but he's the guy that's already at or below zero
alright
Galabras
Galabras is going
to he's going to
fire his crossbow
at
the orc that hasn't been hit yet
I think he has a line of sight on him.
Right, the one to the right.
Yeah, on the far side of the room.
Far side of the room.
This is momentous.
I have this giant
20-sided die.
Check out
glasscanonpodcast.tumblr.com
to see it. It's the size of, as Matthew
pointed out, a paperweight. It's about the Glasscanonpodcast.tumblr.com to see it. It's the size of, as Matthew pointed out, a paperweight.
It's about the size of a baseball.
So listen to this.
Listen to the sound it makes when I roll it on the table.
Ooh!
16.
That's a hit.
That's a good roll, too.
All right.
And two damage.
All right.
Unfortunately, I don't have a giant eight-sided die
You could get giant die of every denomination
I think I'm going to do that
With my poor fiduciary planning
Make sure they're gold-plated too, Skip
Can you get some giant 24-karat gold dice?
I want to get the kind of dice Mr. Burns would get
If he was a D&D player
Excellent to get the kind of dice Mr. Burns would get if he was a D&D player.
Excellent.
The guy who originally
threw a javelin, the one that
Galabras just hit.
Man, you guys are all still outside,
huh? Yeah, right outside the door.
Right outside the door. They got to jump over
Lork? He steps
up to Lork.
Lork the Orc.
And swings
his greataxe
at Lork.
Shit.
Well, last time you had
the guy with the javelin
move and pull out a weapon
and you said that was
all he could do.
He dropped his javelin.
No, you can...
Because we have the rule
where if you drop your weapon
then you can immediately
draw the other for us.
Draw as part of the move.
Yeah, this guy threw his javelin.
Okay.
So.
I think that's going to be a hit.
17?
Miss.
Whoa!
Chain mail!
Yeah!
Okay, and then the other guy with his dying move
swings his orc double axe and lorks prone.
Helpless?
I'm not helpless, I am not helpless.
Nope, 17 again.
Yes!
So missed!
Yeah!
I love it when that armor,
when you buy new armor and it works.
Yeah.
Brutes Magoots.
Okay, it is is Now That guy falls
So
Oh but
But the new guy stepped up
So it ruined my
My ready to action
Change your
So the Biddleuck is
Squandered
Squandered
And it is
Gormley
Gormley's turn
Gormley's gonna evil eye
This last door
Yeah
Gracie
Okay
We'll save Does not Succeed on the will save is going to evil eye this last orc. Yeah. Okay.
We'll save.
Does not succeed on the will save.
Great.
And for her move action, she'll reload her crossbow.
Very good.
Lork.
I thought you were holding until... Yeah, I readied in action, but it never occurred
because that guy stepped up instead of
throwing another jet. You should hold again. I think we can
take him down. I'm not going to take
another free hit while I'm laying on the
ground. You're going to get a free hit now, though.
Not if I withdraw. Can I
withdraw? From the
ground? Yeah, just roll away.
Yeah, you can stand up and then move your
normal amount of spaces.
But in standing up, don't you incur an attack of opportunity?
Not if you do a full withdraw.
Okay.
You can move out of a threatened space.
I don't have to get up.
I can just roll away.
Okay.
And do nothing else.
And then stand up on the far side, but not...
Because standing up is a move action, right?
Mm-hmm.
Right, so you're going to do that move action followed by the other move action.
No, the first move action is going to be a roll away. Okay. And then the second move action will be stand up,hmm. Right, so you're going to do that move action followed by the other move action. No, the first move action
is going to be a roll away.
Okay.
And then the second
move action will be
stand up, so I can attack
this round.
Yeah, that's fine.
And that's, I avoid
the attack of opportunity
and I pay for it
by not acting,
essentially.
Okay.
You've paid your debt.
Barone.
Baron does a swift reload
and says,
I want to see you from the inside.
Fuck.
Ten against touch.
Maybe later.
Miss.
Even with the minus.
Oh, but it was up close and deadly, so he takes half of that damage.
Oh, I'm sorry.
With the minus to the AC, that is a hit. Oh, fuck yes. Oh, nice. That's up close and deadly, so he takes half of that damage. Oh, I'm sorry. With the minus to the AC, that is a hit.
Oh, fuck yes.
Oh, nice.
That's up close and deadly.
Nice.
And then...
Nine points of damage.
Nice.
It is below its HP.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ah, Galabras.
You can take it out.
Do it.
I'm going to reload. Do it, Gal out Do it I'm going to reload
I'm going to reload and fire
He can't hit
He could move, but he couldn't hit any of us
Do it for Carl
So we could just wait
No, I'm going to take a shot at him
Remember, this would be minus four though
Is it?
Yeah, he's melee with this guy oh oh well let me just wait
well but then he's still gonna take a second no he can't yeah he's in a way
with you oh okay yeah I'm gonna step up and mace him. Ooh. Bold. Bold. That's a bold move.
Nice.
16.
Hits.
Nice job, Galabras.
Holy shit.
Two.
God damn it.
Two damage.
And since you're the last creature that it saw,
it swings its greataxe at Galabras.
You're a brave man, Galabros.
Galabros has had a tough
past couple of half hours.
No, he's been good.
Hits.
Hits Galabros with his dying
action.
We haven't seen this weapon hit yet.
Oh boy.
Hit the intended target, at least.
For 15 points of damage.
I'm down.
Fuck.
And then the orc falls, right?
And then the orc falls, and danger has been...
I'm going to grab Galabras' healing kit.
Galabras, no!
No, wait.
No, no, no, wait.
I'm at zero, so I'm staggered.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, so I can...
You can take a potion.
You can still channel.
Yeah, I'll just channel.
Or would you rather
take a potion?
Is anyone else hurt?
I'm hurt.
I'm not hurt.
Oh, I'm a little hurt,
but I could also force
a potion down your throat.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
I'll just channel.
How are you doing
with your channels?
What do you got left?
I have...
I've got two left, so...
That's a good time.
Yeah, I'll use another one now.
And, Gorm,
you can just hex at will.
You have multiple...
innumerable hexes per day?
Innumerable hexes.
Wow, that's great.
I mean, spells, I'm kind of...
Yeah, you got nothing.
I got nothing yet.
Here's my gold-plated
Roman dice again.
Five!
Five?
Thank you, Tiberius Severus,
whoever you were.
Okay.
Do you heal?
What happens with non-lethal damage
when you get magical healing?
Does it all wash away?
Yeah, that heals non-lethal, too.
Emotional damage, though,
doesn't help with it.
That just scars.
You guys made pretty short work
of those guys
could have been a lot worse
uh yeah yeah
so they
presumably
based off of the
change in tempo
became
augmented
by this
correct
you
it appears to be that way
yeah
you can roll a perception check
if you want
uh no I'm alright
24 ooh uh 26 10 Yeah. You can roll a perception check if you want. No, I'm all right.
24.
Ooh, 26.
10.
Do any of you guys have knowledge local?
I do.
Yep.
No, I do not.
We do not.
Just Gormley?
Just the character that... 14 knowledge local.
They seem to be raging.
Barbarian.
Interesting.
There's something from that song gave them a,
uh,
strength.
There's like an orc bard.
Yeah.
Some sort of an orc blood rager.
Yeah.
Wait,
what's the one that's,
uh,
what's that new class?
That's like a mix between a barbarian and a bard?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Not a scald.
Scald.
Yeah, scald.
Scalding hot coffee all over your lap.
All right.
Time to sue McDonald's.
By the way, that's exactly right.
That's some sort of scald situation.
Ah, okay.
Okay.
Nailed it.
Nice job.
Bottle cap.
Thanks, Troy.
Yeah, well, you both did it together, so you know. No, I did it by myself. Nice job. Bottle cap. Thanks, Troy. You both did it together
so you know I did it by myself.
Share that bottle cap.
Alright, I'll take it. Grant and Joe
now share a bottle cap.
Correctly guessing what this is called.
Okay, so
yeah, now you are
on this first floor and there are stairs
leading up the tower.
I'm going to use a heal spell
on myself cure light wounds on myself i like it come on treat yourself roll it high treat yourself
come on baby come on boxcars boxcars all right seven no eight eight points that's awesome no no 20 points of healing
alright
so let's take a quick stock here
what's our healing options we have one channel
I have 2 potions
I have 2 potions of cure light wounds left
I can do one more cure light wounds
one more channel
I have one more channel
And I have four charges
Left in the wand
Of Cure Light Wounds
Oh okay
We're good
That's it
Let's not be afraid
To ever use things
That's my new
I'm using all the shit
No no
You're doing great
But I hate it
When you
Like have so many
Consumables left
Or if you don't
Cast Mage Armor
On yourself
When a town
Is literally being
There are fiery boulders it's been one hour and
57 all right so uh lork is going to it's up to you baron if you want to lead the way you can
lead the way but otherwise i just want to work my way up the steps with my bow did that at the
ready so i think that the only benefit to us though... Did the change, did
the song that changed their capabilities
come from the person at the top of the tower?
And was that definitely
correlated to the loud noise we made?
Because presumably everyone's raging now.
But perhaps we could still sneak up on them.
Basically, when
Lork failed his stealth check
and made a loud
sound going into the room,
your presence,
it alerted your presence
to everyone within the tower.
Everyone.
That's the feeling you get
because it's just then
that the record scratched.
And then all of a sudden
the new song started
and the orcs started
foaming at the mouth.
But no one's charged
down the stairs at this point,
so it's worth at least
trying to stealth up.
Right. So I'll trying to stealth up. Right.
So I'll try to stealth up.
I guess we all have to do that, right?
Never mind.
Oh, fucking 11.
14 for Lork.
So Baron kind of stumbles up the steps pretty loudly.
11's not a stumble.
It's just not particularly a stumble.
A 2 would be a stumble. Nice, Gorm particularly a stumble. A 2 would be a stumble.
Nice.
And the second floor is empty.
Oh, great. Perfect.
And there's more stairs leading up to the roof.
Can I do a perception to see if there's anything
of value or barrels or
chests or anything like that? Sure.
Me too. Alchemist's fire.
20.
7 for Roran.
It appears to be empty and ransacked.
Are there any arrows of orcs, Bane?
There are dead guards everywhere.
Oh, I retrieved my bolts, by the way.
I am going to attempt to stealth up again.
Yeah, there are just dead Trunown guards
all up the stairs, all along the floor, everywhere.
Guys, you might recognize Lork.
Try to stealth.
Fumble.
I hate this dice.
I lost my dice under the couch.
Fuck.
So you come up the stairs and you see, very loudly, again, just rushing up there.
He's full of vigor.
Vim and vigor.
Rushing up there, you see three more orcs,
and then you see this ripped orc
that looks a lot different from the other guys
with blue war paint across his face,
just violently beating a big drum.
Oh, jeez.
That's awesome looking, guys.
Please visit our Tumblr.
Make sure you visit the Tumblr,
because this is one of the best pictures.
That is fucking great.
I love it.
And he is just going to town on it.
And roll for initiative.
He is beating that drum.
Beat that drum, baby.
We are now at 20 on the initiative.
We are now in open air.
Yeah, you are now on top of this crenellated roof.
You love saying crenellated.
It's got to be the crackling Oprah and Joe is eating.
And Baron is leading the charge.
And I'm assuming Lork and then Gormley and then Galabras
because Gormley's stealth up there.
Okay, what'd you get, Gorm?ley's stealth up there. Okay.
What'd you get, Gorm?
Nine.
Oh, boy.
Finally.
22 for Lork.
22 for Lork.
20 for Baron.
20 for Baron.
Galabras?
20.
Whoa.
I also rolled a natural. What's your bonus?
Oh, I'm a five bonus.
Okay.
Gormley, you said a...
Nine. Very uncharacteristic of gormley she was too busy
trying to be stealthy right that'll teach her uh all right so lork lork from orc uh nano nano
it's uh that guy beating the drum is in the back and he's being like uh protected by a ring of three orcs uh not a lot
of space up here this is like 30 30 by 30 foot uh crenellated roof what a jackass
so we're all on the roof right now all open on the roof and it is lc's turn.
I was thinking about holding until I got a bit of luck.
Yeah, I was going to advise.
You could do a bit of luck all day, or that's not really a certain thing? No, I've still got three left.
That's pretty good.
Is it like six plus your charisma?
Yeah.
I've got two left.
All right.
I am going to...
I'll hold until I get a bit of luck from Galabras.
How are you feeling right now, Lork?
I'm getting the sense you're a little nervous.
Yeah, I'm hesitant.
I'm feeling the sense you're a little nervous. Yeah, I'm hesitant, man.
I'm feeling that from you.
I wanted to do ranged, but this is a little too tight,
and when these guys are raging, it's going to get ugly.
So I know that I only have one chance for the shot,
but I want to give it my best chance,
and then I'll switch to melee weapons. I think you should just...
All right.
I think that you will deal more damage if you wait for bit
of luck and melee whereas like if you hit or you don't like your maximum is going to be what i think
using bit of luck on melee is going to pay better dividends for us in the long run even though it
would be a great opening volley.
Yeah.
So you might as well just shoot.
It's really tight.
It's really tight in.
You might as well get your shot off now.
That's what I think.
All right.
All right.
Fine.
Fuck it.
Get ready for this critical he's going to roll.
All right.
I'll shoot twice.
Aim once, shoot twice.
I'll shoot twice at the guy right in the center of the three orcs that are fanning out
and guarding the scald
and they seem just as ferocious
as the ones downstairs
so first shot
14 to hit
that's a hit
oh because they're raging
that brings their AC down
7 damage on the first one
second shot miss I would imagine 9 That brings their AC down. Seven damage on the first one. Second shot.
Miss.
Well, yeah, miss.
I would imagine nine.
Nine to AC.
Yeah, that's a miss.
You said seven damage?
Seven damage.
That brings him to zero.
Oh, sweet.
So that's why it's one step back.
So that's good.
And then I'm going to drop the bow.
And as my move action, I'm going to pull out a...
But you can't take a move action.
It's a rapid shot of full ground action.
Yeah, you're absolutely right.
So I'll just drop the bow, and then I'll draw as part of the next round.
Okay.
The guy beating the drums looks at you, Lork, and just like...
Let's out this ear piercing scream
roll a fortitude save
I believe it's
fuck let's see
if you had a bit of luck you'd be able
to roll it twice
alright man Grant talked me out
of it 10
oh no he won't
you'd be able to do the attack
and then the fortitude?
Any 20 side of die, you roll that whole round.
All right, so this scream hits you, like, stepped up,
and this thing deafens you.
You take four points of sonic damage,
and you're dazed for one round.
Oh, fuck me.
And just to let you know,
dazed is not on my sheet in front of me, so look it up.
It's not that bad.
I think it's probably like... It's like minus two something or other. Oh, I think dazed is like you my sheet in front of me, so look it up. It's not that bad.
It's like a minus two something or other.
Oh, I think dazed is like you can't do anything.
No, that's stunned.
You are dazed.
That was the guy in the back, and now it is barren.
Oh, wait, wait, wait. You're absolutely right.
Damn it. What? Unable to act.
For one round.
And you're still not holding a weapon right now.
So you dropped your weapon, and now you are defenseless and weaponless.
Yep.
Baron is going to get up close and deadly with the orc on his far left, your right, Troy.
Okay, that guy there, sure.
Which one did you shoot?
The one in the middle.
Joe shot middle.
There are three lined up in a row.
Nine to touch, AC.
That's a miss.
Damn it.
Galabras, Finn.
Should have waited for that bit of luck.
I knew it.
No, you're good good you took out one guy
you'll be fine
we'll be fine
I'm gonna shoot
a crossbow
at
the one
let me get this battle sound back
this is dangerous
the one that
hasn't been shot at yet
okay
so the one on the far
my far left
yeah
fumble the one on my far left.
Fumble!
Oh god, why does this always... Oh, it's going to be a tough one!
Bad things happen in threes.
Archer's elbow. You take a minus
two penalty on all ranged attack
rolls for 1d4 minutes.
Oof.
That's not awful, though. No. It's not your primary roll.
It's the entire combat. You could crit your own face
with a greataxe. No, I'm just saying
Galabras' main roll,
he can switch to mace, and he's a healer.
So it's not bad. No, 100%.
He took zero damage from that. It's actually great.
Yeah. How many minutes?
1d4 minutes?
It's the whole combat.
Yeah, the whole combat.
Three. Two. whole combat. Three.
Two.
Two minutes.
Oh.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
So unless this lasts 20 rounds.
In 20 rounds, you'll be fine.
Do not despair.
Okay.
The dude that...
Which one of you hit?
Or tried you hit?
Or tried to hit?
I hit the one in the middle.
He said he's below zero.
This was Galabras and this was Baron. The one that Baron attacked
throws
Bolas at
Baron's feet.
To try and
trip him.
And hits.
Take damage?
Yeah, it's non-lethal,
but it's going to take you down to the ground.
It's seven points of non-lethal damage,
and you trip.
The guy that Lork attacked steps up.
And dies. had been here,
Joe just threw him across the room
because he's dead.
And then the other one,
Galabras tried to shoot at,
steps up and attacks Galabras
with an orc double axe.
Fuck.
Fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck.
And misses.
I'm so scared!
Galabras is like,
just moving out of the way of this huge
gross looking axe.
Round two, lork.
Gormley never went for round one.
Oh, I'm sorry, Gormley. G gormley you go last uh so am i in
melee with this orc as well yes all right so gormley's gonna take a five foot step towards
lork and fire a crossbow at the one you'll still take minus four because it's not if you're in
melee it's if it's in melee with an ally he'll at least remove himself okay yeah the way so
you'd probably go backwards yeah uh and, I'm going to fire my crossbow.
You know what?
No. I'm going to evil eye
the one that's
in combat with Galabras.
Ah, okay. The one that just swung
his... Yeah, for attack roll.
For attack roll. Nice.
And he rolled a 14.
That saves for one round.
So you get one round and minus two
to your attack roll.
My five foot step
was my move action, right?
Yes, that's correct.
Okay.
Now it is round two.
Lork is dazed, so it goes
to the gentleman in the back
who
just to the gentleman in the back who just
like
looks at Gormley and
sends some sort of energy
towards her.
Castors are so scary.
Roll a
will save.
23.
Oh, thank God.
You save.
A very, very good save.
Otherwise, you would have just succumbed to...
Do you have knowledge, Arkhan?
I do indeed.
You should try to roll to find out what spell was cast to you.
I'm going to try to roll knowledge, Arkhan, to find out what spell was cast to you. I'm going to try to roll knowledge or canon to find out what spell
was cast to me.
Yeah, as a spellcaster.
Do it.
Give it a shot.
Great backseat role-playing
there, Lork.
Well, he doesn't know
how to play.
I know.
I'm just joking.
I'm just joking.
Why do you get angry?
You just successfully
saved on hideous laughter.
Ooh.
Which would have...
Oh, but would that
have been cackling?
It would have extended
all of our actions.
It would have extended
all of my actions forever.
You've never heard
Gormley laugh.
It's much different
and much creepier.
Hideous laughter
doubles the target
over an uncontrollable
laughter,
and they can't do
anything else.
For, in this case,
three rounds.
You get a new save
every round,
but otherwise you
just are sitting
on the ground laughing.
It's like being dazed.
Uncontrollably.
Same thing.
Right.
Except it lasts longer.
All right, Baron.
Baron.
Baron will flip himself up.
And he will take aim after rapidly reloading
at the gentleman immediately in front.
The one that Joe's pointing at.
Rapid reload is pretty sweet.
So you can just do the whole purpose
of pointing at it silently.
You're shaking,
so I could hear it through my microphone.
You mentioned rapid reload a lot.
I just want to check in with it.
So this is a feat,
just allows you to always rapid reload?
Or is it a...
So rapid reload basically reduces
the type of action down one level it would take to reload.
But that varies on ammunition.
So I think it's a full round action if I'm just reloading with gunpowder and a bullet.
But I'm using a chemical pack, so that would go from full round to move.
Okay.
I'm going from move to swift.
Ah, okay. Because you wouldn't have been able to stand up and do a move action. That's what I was checking. Okay. I'm going from move to swift. Ah, okay.
Because you wouldn't have been able to stand up
and do a move action.
That's what I was checking.
Okay, cool.
So I'm going to shoot.
But wait, do you have a bottomless pile
of alchemical paper cartridges?
I'm going to need to buy some more at some point.
So they're consumable.
Yeah, they're consumable.
But I mean, I can craft them.
That's why I have an alchemy feed.
Got it.
All right, so which guy are you shooting at there?
Far right?
Yeah.
So that is a 15 against a touch AC.
That's a hit.
I'm out of my grit.
Oh.
Nine points of damage.
Holy shit.
And he is below.
Awesome.
He is the love below. All right, Galapagos. Holy shit. And he is below. Awesome. He is the love below.
All right, Galabras.
All right, I am going to swing
with my mighty giant 20-sided die.
Well, do it.
At this fucker standing in front of me
who just hit me.
And miss.
He rolled a two, ladies and gentlemen.
I sure did.
All right.
The one that Baron attacked,
he's the one that threw the bolas.
He pulls out...
No, the guy that threw the bolas died, I thought.
Was that bolas guy?
No, bolas guy.
Yeah, the one that you shot.
So he is going to step up with a spiked chain.
He'll step up and die.
And die, yeah.
Wait, he's dead?
Yep.
You said he went below zero, right?
Oh, I'm sorry.
He did nine damage.
All right, so he's going to throw a...
He's going to throw...
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
An axe at him.
He's going to throw an axe at him.
A throwing axe.
Yes.
And misses.
Goodbye.
And now he's dead. Oh, Joe really hit that one. And,. Goodbye. And now he's dead.
Oh, Joe really hit that one.
You are the weakest orc.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
The other one goes again with the orc double axe.
Minus two AC.
I'm sorry, minus two attack.
Minus two attack, yes, on Galabras.
Good thing it was a minus two to attack because it missed.
And now it is Gormley's turn.
That is a great laugh.
I love that laugh.
So Lork's days will be up after this round, right?
Yeah, I'm done.
So Gormley's going to evil eye the drummer.
Okay, now that attack,
did you cackle last time
or was that just a one-off?
No, I couldn't.
I had to move and then...
Right, okay.
Just want to keep track.
So yeah, he's back to normal cool all right so Gormley is
gonna evil eye the ringleader here pretty casted drama and that is a will
save let me check out my man's nothing has good will scaled as great will. Still fails. Wow.
AC.
All right.
So for six rounds, minus two to AC.
Oh.
And now for my move action,
Gormley's going to cackle to extend the hex on the guy that's in melee combat with Calabrus.
There you go.
So now he is minus two for an extra round on his attack roll.
Love it.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
Love it.
Okay.
All right.
Very exciting. Round three. Lork, you. Okay. Love it. Okay. All right. Very exciting.
Round three.
Lork, you wake up.
Lork is pissed, and he is going to...
Can he, like, I had already dropped my bow.
Right.
So can I charge at the Skald
while drawing a weapon?
Uh,
you have another weapon?
You just dropped the bow.
I dropped the bow last round, before I was dazed.
Right, so you want to draw a weapon and charge.
Yeah, I want to draw a weapon, run at him,
and then put a battleaxe in his face.
Sure. Okay, so I run,
pull out this battleaxe,
this is my city!
Runs up, smashes him!
Yeah, and hits him!
24.
Yeah.
That's a hit.
24 to hit.
15 damage.
Oh!
Oh, baby!
Oh, baby! Oh, that masterwork battleaxe! Oh, baby.
Oh, baby. Oh, that masterwork battle axe.
Lork's back, baby.
Lork is back.
All right.
He drops his drum to the ground.
Nice.
Does that hurt this guy's rage?
No, it's already been enacted.
It lasts for X amount of rounds,
which is coming up soon.
Yeah, make up whatever rules you want.
It's cool.
Got it right here.
Got it right here.
Nice try.
I'll let you charge and draw a weapon.
Be cool.
Okay, so what I need you...
Be cool.
Be cool.
Be cool, man.
So the guy that just got hit with the axe
just sends out a spell that affects everyone.
It is a spell, right?
So does he roll concentration or?
Yep.
Now, you've got to tell me about concentration because I can't remember what it is.
So it's 15 plus double the spell level to cast defensively.
So whatever the spell level is, double it.
And that's the DC.
And he rolls a caster level check.
And what is the caster level? Is it a D20
plus your concentration modifier?
No, it's a D20 plus his caster level.
Whatever it is.
Yeah, but you can have a bonus to your concentration.
Some people do.
Yeah, if he has...
Like he's got concentration plus a number right in front of me.
Then that's what
he adds to his D2020 and that's it.
If it says it on the monster breakdown, that's including
his total.
I hit it.
Okay.
So, you need to all roll
a save.
A will save.
DC
13.
12 for Gormley.
13. Oh my god
Right on the dot
10
Oh
Calabras
God damn it Boner
24
Okay
So Baron
And
Uh
Gormley
Fall asleep
Can I ask a question?
Fall asleep
Can I ask a Wait wait Can I ask a question?
Yes.
We're on this
crenellated tower.
Yes.
In the rules
and the
mechanic of combat
is there a room
for me
to jump off
the tower
to avoid this spell?
There is not.
I would like that.
Amazing though.
Come on. I'd like to pose a
question I don't know if you could survive 4d 6 no no if you would like
ready to an action or held your action maybe like if you said if he cast sleep
I'll jump but yeah I'm Aaron and I'd like to raise a question for the lork
specifically if that earlier shared bottle cap was indeed not a joke,
would this be a time to use it or no?
Yeah, so normally you could use a bottle cap for anything.
You guys were sharing it, so you could decide,
I'm going to use it, but you have to do it before you roll.
You can't be like, I failed my roll.
Can I use my bottle cap?
You have to say, I'm going to use my double roll now.
So you, Baron and Gormley
are out
cold.
And
they will remain asleep
for three minutes.
Oh, God.
It takes a standard action
to wake them.
Or if they're attacked,
they awake.
We fall to the ground in a sleep,
or is it some sort of magical standing sleep?
Yeah, you float.
Yeah, no, you fall to the ground, fall asleep.
And now it is, would have been Baron's turn,
so it's Calabrus' turn.
Oh, I snore heartily.
Don't skip over that.
I'm sorry.
Roleplay snoring.
Calabrus, is there any way for you to
fall back? Like, can you withdraw
down the steps?
I mean, if this guy hits you,
we're in really, really bad shape. I don't know.
It's just something to think about.
Uh...
Yeah.
Yeah.
No.
Or you could just attack one of us
right now
remaining on the roof
don't you have that fumble where like you can
your ranged attack is basically
useless
so you could attack us with the range
and it was killed and I missed
he doesn't need to attack you
yeah but it's a full round action.
No, I'm just gonna
swing my mace
at this jerk off.
You're gonna go with that dice again?
Oh boy. Here we go, here it comes.
It's a big one.
Oh boy.
Ten.
That's a miss.
So now I'm gonna die, so.
That'll be the end Of
That'll be the day
Galapagos
You heal
What are you at
For hit points Galap
I'm at
I'm at 13
Alright
Now this guy
Now time to do 13 damage
He has a
Minus 2 to attack
But he does swing
His orc double axe
At
Galapagos Finn The most courageous Wait wait wait Cleric We could bottle cap this But he does swing his orc double axe at Galabras Finn,
the most courageous cleric.
We could bottle cap this.
No, it's between the two of us.
What?
It was bonded to the two of us
for knowing it wasn't.
We can use it whenever we want
to give the DM disadvantage.
Yeah, you can use it on the DM anytime.
Yeah.
Sure, fuck him.
Fuck him.
I'm turning it in.
Disadvantage to you on this attack against Galabras
so normally they use it to
give themselves two rolls
take the better one but you can use it
to say F you DM
you roll twice take the lower roll
two times
you know what and I don't normally do this when I'm gonna
roll it in front of you guys just so you
know what's what
alright eight and nine what's what.
All right.
Eight and a nine.
What's your AC?
Fifteen.
Miss City.
All right.
You just may have saved Galabras' life.
Gormley, asleep.
I couldn't think of a better way to use a split bottle cap, though. Yeah, save our friend.
We don't know.
It's for me.
That's really selfless.
All right, you're in another bottle cap.
All right. They just keep going. It's like his grit points. don't know, it's for me. That's really selfless. Alright, you're in another bottle cap. Alright, just keep going.
It's like his grit points.
Just get it back
because you used it.
You need like ranger grit.
Speaking of ranger grit,
Lork, you're up.
Round four.
Fucking kill that guy.
Just kill him.
This guy is
decimating your friends.
Just kill him.
Yeah, I'll attack him again.
I'm going to take him out.
I'm going to take him out.
Probably not.
11 to hit.
He laughs.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, with his fangs.
He laughs in your face.
Would have loved to hit that.
It's not funny.
It's not funny.
Now he...
He's kind of cornered where he is.
Exactly.
That's why I wanted to stay there,
is keep the pressure on this fuck.
He pulls out a scroll and starts reading from it.
So attack of opportunity.
Attack of opportunity.
Come on, Lork.
Do it, do it, do it, buddy.
Oh, 18 to hit, please.
Because of Gormley, this was the,
he failed his will save, right?
Yeah, so that hits.
Oh, awesome.
That definitely hits.
All right, 1d12.
Come on, baby!
It's an eight.
Well, sorry, 12 damage.
Eight on the die, 12 damage.
That's 27 this fuck is taking.
Eight wouldn't have done it,
but 12 puts him below 0
but he then he begins
reading from his scroll right so
he takes a penalty to the
read
of it the concentration of
reading it of 10
plus the damage he just took
so negative 22
so that's the DC the DC is plus the damage he just took. So negative 22?
So that's the DC.
The DC is 22, it should be.
So he starts to read from the scroll and you smack him
and you cut straight through the scroll.
Oh, awesome.
And he can't read it.
He's like, ah, ah!
But he tried and now he's dead.
That was his act, right?
He was starting to try to before.
That was the beginning of his action, yeah.
So he still has one more.
Oh, I thought he had knocked him down to.
Wait, he started reading this a little prior.
During the attack of opportunity, I took him below zero.
Right.
Right.
But he still continued his action, you know what I mean?
The timing's a little wonky. No, no, no. All right, I'm sorry. I forgot to subtract. I got what you're saying, like, he still continues action, you know what I mean? The timing's a little wonky.
No, no, no.
No, no.
All right.
I'm sorry.
I forgot it was an attack of opportunity.
I got what you're saying.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, I guess he could be like, oh, well, no, I don't want to read the scroll, but I wouldn't
let you do that, so I can't do it either.
No, no, I got you.
No, no, no.
He cut through the...
Yeah.
Yeah, I didn't realize it was an attack of opportunity.
It was...
It all happened at the same time.
I have him very quick.
Rest assured, he's going to die soon.
Baron's still sleeping.
Galabras.
Galabras standing toe to toe
get out of there
very healthy
yeah
get out of there
I'm gonna take a
full withdrawal
down the stairs
okay
okay so Galabras
runs down to the basement
and
this guy here
steps up
and flanks
Lork with his orc double. With his orc double axe.
With his orc double axe.
I'm gonna Eiffel Tower you boy.
He actually, he has a
minus two to attack still
but he is swinging it twice.
No, he can't.
Oh, because he moved. He moved more than five feet.
Yeah, you're right. Alright, so he's just swinging it once.
Orc double axe, minus two to attack.
Critical threat.
Now I get a minus two to confirm as well.
Oh, yeah.
Does not confirm.
Breed out.
Excellent.
I don't even think by flanking,
the minus two and the flanking bonus
offset, but it still was not enough
to crit you.
Hits you for 11 points of damage.
Imagine if that crits!
Come on!
Or imagine if he had swung twice.
Imagine if he had hit poor Skid.
Maybe Skid could run up now
and rouse one of us.
And it is Gormley's
asleep next round
round 5 Lork
Lork is going to turn around and attack
the guy that just attacked him
well
yeah
I'm doing it fuck it
Natty 20 get out of here dude you could legit kill him and then
this other guy's gonna quit this guy natty fucking 20 come on please confirm please yeah 20 to
confirm 20 total 20 total oh 20 just okay oh wait is it times three it's times three so you get your
choice of two critical cards you get to take the best one you want.
All right, so I'm going to read these two critical cards.
Oh, this is awesome.
I'm going to do a sapping slash.
Double damage, and the target is fatigued.
As if he wasn't down enough already.
I'm so tired.
I'm so tired. Oh, dude.
26 damage.
He's completely dead.
Completely dead.
Downward ferocity.
Lork.
Lork.
And the ringleader, the drummer, with his last battle move before he dies,
swings his masterwork battle axe at Lork.
Bring it, bitch.
And misses.
Yeah!
Boom!
Fucking awesome.
And just as he dies, you see a celestial viper start to appear
and then just fade out of existence.
He was going to summon a fucking viper.
You viper.
All right, so Lork, these two drop,
and Lork is just standing alone on this battle top.
He walks over to Baron, rouses him awake,
and he's like, you can get up from your nap now, sweetie.
I've taken care of it.
Baron says, who came along and killed these guys?
I know they're true.
So, yeah, the drummer has fallen.
All six orcs that were in this tower have died,
and you stand atop the battlements.
With this bloodied masterwork battleaxe.
It's covered in orc blood.
Covered.
Can we look out at this town and see what's going on?
Can we see the state of the...
You know what?
I'm going to end the episode with what you see
now that you're 40 feet higher oh yeah everything else
uh can i get a little can i get a little music for this uh maybe like a momentous music i you
know it's i don't know where to find it wind beneath my wings the momentous music yeah no i
don't know i got nothing so number one all right so just uh just start humming stuff while i uh
much much lower than that uh all right so you're basically you're standing atop the uh the eastern humming stuff while I do do do do do do do do do
much much lower than that
alright so you're basically you're standing atop
the eastern lookout
looking at
now you have like a bird's eye view
of what's happening in town
and from atop the lookout you see
Lower Trinow and the craggy
hills beyond the town's
walls so right now you're in the inner quarter
you can see from up here like the lower Truenau, which is where you're basically
heading, where you saw where Cursed and all of them were running off to. To the
northwest, just on the other side of the Barterstones, which are these big rocks
right outside of the inner quarter, you see a group of orcs operating a catapult,
just bombarding the guard tower above the Hope Spring
with flaming boulders.
Just...
Just hitting the towers, hitting the towers.
To the west, another massive boulder
smashes into one of the guard towers,
which completely collapses,
and you see people beneath it just standing there
and they're covered in rubble.
In addition,
a small group
of orc raiders can be seen
charging towards the town's main
gate.
Everybody roll a perception check.
17.
27.
10.
What's his name? Baron is the only one that notices 17 27 10 Joe 6
what's his name
Baron
is the only one
that notices
that
there are mounted guards
charging a group of orcs
to the north
and it's led by Cursed
so you see Cursed
and a bunch of other guards
on horseback
like
marching towards
these orc raiders
and meanwhile they're taking a battering
ramp to the main gate uh basically where you guys are heading uh on the other side of the inner city
uh and then in the distance you see uh that the raider the orc raiders that cursed and these guys
are charging towards are accompanied by a monstrous giant just grabbing boulders
and throwing them
at the city walls.
You just see, you see
you make out cursed among these people
but all of you see that.
And yeah, you see a giant
throwing boulders at the city walls.
Challenge accepted.
That's it? Outro Music