The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 15 - The Belkzen Hostility Orc-hestra

Episode Date: September 8, 2015

The beat goes on as the companions assault a tower filled with orcs, rockin and rollin' to the magical drums of an enemy skald! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To bec...ome an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. The war drums usher in a wave of destruction. To the west, another massive boulder smashes into one of the guard towers, which completely collapses, and you see people beneath it just standing there, and they're covered in rubble. To silence the beat, the party must face an enemy like they've never seen before. And then you see this ripped orc
Starting point is 00:00:33 that looks a lot different from the other guys with, like, blue war paint across his face just violently beating a big drum. Oh, jeez. That's awesome looking. Will they succumb to his deadly song? He laughs. Ha ha ha ha ha with his fangs.
Starting point is 00:00:49 He would have loved to face. It's not funny. It's not funny at all. The adventure continues right now. howdy partners welcome back to another episode of the glass cannon podcast i bet you've always kept yourself up at night wondering what would happen if a bloodthirsty orc got himself a band scholarship to college. You're about to find out in this episode. This is Grant Berger, the voice inside Baron's head, and just wanted to say thanks so much for continuing to listen. We wanted to give a quick shout out to Vanessa Yotamoto, who is Rapo Savick on DeviantArt.
Starting point is 00:01:45 R-A-P-O-S-A-V-Y-K. She did all of our wonderful portraits of our characters. You can check out on our Facebook and on our website. Please hit her up if you'd like any more work done. We also want to let you guys know that we read and respond to every email we receive. So please send us any show ideas you have thoughts to glass cannon podcast at gmail.com or shoot us any thoughts on twitter at glass cannon pod all right y'all let's beat this drum the war drum there's no guitar there's no guitar i thought you're doing barracuda i'm sorry
Starting point is 00:02:20 i did too the orc there's an orc comes out with an electric guitar so you guys just had a pretty brutal battle with some orcs a family that has now changed forever
Starting point is 00:02:37 you were a part of their life changing experience and now you stand before this tower ready to go in it seems like this lork had some
Starting point is 00:02:47 trouble last time. Yep, he hit himself in the face for 18 points of damage. And almost killed himself. Yeah, almost killed himself. He's really still shaking off the rust. A little sloppy. Still shaking off the rust. And now, as you stand before this tower,
Starting point is 00:03:04 I believe Baron pulls you all aside just Galabras I say Galabras it's a hell of a thing killing a man take away all he's got and all he's ever going to have
Starting point is 00:03:23 hell you may not know this, but there's things that gnaw at a man worse than dying. I know this much. A gun is a tool, Galabras. No better or no worse than any other tool. An axe, a shovel, or anything. A gun is as good or as bad as the man using it.
Starting point is 00:03:46 Same as your mace. Remember that. Well, I sure killed the hell out of the guy back there. Are you fucking mocking me with that voice? No.
Starting point is 00:03:59 I'm just trying to remember Unforgiven. What a great goddamn movie. Oh, yeah. Fucking great movie. We all watched that one night. We did, yeah. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:04:13 It's one of my favorite movies. Not me. I'm not actually friends with these people. Just podcast friends. That's why. Thank you, Baron. Thank you. So you guys want to just go leave Trinow forever?
Starting point is 00:04:24 Yep. That's the plan. leave Trunau forever? Yep. That's the plan. I'll see why not. Be laid out into orc territory. Right. It's a lot safer outside of these walls. All right. So the last thing that happened was the door was slightly ajar,
Starting point is 00:04:37 and you saw the body of one of the Trunau guards just kind of limp out. So you stand, not too, you stand not too far away from that. I muted my mic to burp, but I realized I was still talking. So I don't know why. Oh, I had to burp so much.
Starting point is 00:04:55 Whoa. I heard that. Every mic picked that up. And no one's the wise. We just ate, we just ate like five pounds of pulled pork. Oh, that's right.
Starting point is 00:05:04 That Matthew made. Matthew, a.k. Oh, that's right. That Matthew made. Matthew, a.k.a. Gormley. Delicious, delicious. On an undetermined date and time. Yes. Absolutely delicious. Pulled an orc, you might say. So good.
Starting point is 00:05:16 Quit aping my shit, Matthew. I'm sick of it. God damn it. Pulling porks and killing orcs. Here we go. I, for myself, I think we should go to that tower that we saw the guy thrown out of. It seems like Troy's been drawing us there literally for the past four episodes. Well, remember, where you guys are, it's kind of, if you're making your way through the city,
Starting point is 00:05:42 it's the tower, you're on top of it now that you've gone through these closely packed houses. And we just saw a guy fall out of there, right? Like out of the front door or off the top? No, like out of the front door. The door is on its hinges, and this guy just fell out of it. And remember, the last building you went into where you found dead Carl,
Starting point is 00:06:03 there was a plate still jingling. I don't know, it could be the same guys, it could be not, but this is all happening very fast. It's all happening so fast. And correct me if I'm wrong, but we heard something. You're wrong. Somebody about a possible something large
Starting point is 00:06:19 outside the walls. Yes, giant creature. A few eps ago, yeah, you guys saw off on the Yes, giant creature. A few eps ago, you guys saw off on the horizon some gigantic creature. We saw it. As a reminder to our listening audience, we are playing the Giant Slayer campaign. Don't forget to go to paizo.com
Starting point is 00:06:38 and buy stuff from them. Don't go to paizon.com and order your Italian supplies. Go to paizo.com and get your Italian supplies. Go to paizo.com and get your role-playing supplements and campaign. I want some extra virgin olive oil. Apollonia, no!
Starting point is 00:06:54 Apollonia, no! This is like cold seal right through my Italian heart. Could you say your, no, don't say your last name. Pizza. I don't want people to know where you live. We've already introduced My last name
Starting point is 00:07:05 Say your last name for us Capitacasa Capitacasa King of the castle Captain of the floor Right You know what that means I don't know
Starting point is 00:07:14 That only took one year Of Italian Alright so Alright so And the door is ajar It's open The door at the base of the tower is hanging on its hinges
Starting point is 00:07:29 can we still see the drummer? you just see a shape not its shape but you can't really get a good look of what this creature looks like up there but how far away would you say? the creature is on top of the tower? on top of the tower I don't think I realized that
Starting point is 00:07:42 now it's all coming together that I was stupid how tall is the tower? top of the i don't think i realized that now it's all coming together that i was stupid how tall is the tower uh i i should know exactly but let's say like 30 feet it may be 40 should we climb that shit with our climbing gear we just got and the creature looks uh to be like a giant giant size no no medium size creature just a creature yeah, the same size as you. 30? Is it 30 to 40 feet? Yeah, I mean, I can look up the exact thing,
Starting point is 00:08:10 but this is a like a crinolated guard tower. If I were to take a shot at it, would I? Oh, no, no, no. You can't.
Starting point is 00:08:18 What a... And the drums are coming... It's like you can turn into an eagle. This thing is up there drumming. Okay. Yeah, beating on a drum. That's what you can see. an eagle. This thing is up there drumming. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:26 Yeah, beating on a drum. That's what you can see. You just see this motion of like, this creature is beating on the drum up there. Let's go kill this motherfucker. Yeah, hey, take out the drums. You hurt the morale. Let's do it.
Starting point is 00:08:42 First you get the drum, then you get the money. They are 40 feet high. I love when I have the actual answer in front of me. Okay, 40 feet high. So are you guys going through the front door? Are we trying to think of how to... All right, yeah, I'm going to... Lorca will try to stealthily open the front door. You said it's ajar, just kind of slide it open?
Starting point is 00:09:05 Yeah. Peek in. So of slide it open? Yeah. Peek in. So you're stealthing? Yeah. Five. Don't fucking fail, man. I failed. God damn it.
Starting point is 00:09:13 You definitely failed. You look in, and there are three orcs standing there in a round room that's probably I don't know, 30 feet in diameter, give or take. And you see on the far side of the room are stairs leading up to a second floor, which would then you presumably lead to the top of the tower.
Starting point is 00:09:39 And you kind of like try to just move the door very quietly to peek your head in, and it makes a really loud sound like falls off a stage. These orcs turn around and look at you. And all of a sudden the drumming right after the sound of the door, the drum song stops abruptly and changes and becomes like much more rhythmic and brutal and
Starting point is 00:10:06 loud and ferocious and you see the orcs start to change in their demeanor listening to this song roll for initiative it's John Bonham was he Rush? the drummer from Rush
Starting point is 00:10:23 isn't Moon the drummer from Rush? That's Moon. Isn't Moon the drummer from Rush? No, that's Moon. Moon is the drummer from fucking who cares? Old music is terrible. I'm a Katy Perry fan. Who's the guy from... Actually, I'm a Swifty. Def Leppard.
Starting point is 00:10:36 I hope he has one arm. What has seven arms and sucks? Neil Peart is the drummer from Rush. Yes. Okay, anybody over 20? Wow. Wow, I thought I had more time. This is a rough one.
Starting point is 00:10:53 Women, not teens, eh? Wow. Let me just tell you. Why don't you just tell me the number you had? Gormley? 16. 14 for Lork. Baron? 11. Wow, this is all going in order. Galormley? 16. 14 for Lork. Baron? 11. Wow, this is all going in order.
Starting point is 00:11:07 Galabras? 7. 7, 11. The same exact initiative order as the last time you guys played. Just much,
Starting point is 00:11:15 much, much lower. All right. Gormley. So, so Lork is at the door, right? Yep. Right. The wolf at the door. And Baron's behind. And Baron, so Lork is at the door, right? Yep.
Starting point is 00:11:26 Right. The wolf at the door. And Baron's behind. And Baron's behind Lork. Maybe he would have stealthed more successfully, but whatever. Do I have to move to see any of the orcs? Is my question.
Starting point is 00:11:38 Um, well, you'd have to get into the room. Could he get a catty corner to the door? Well, I don't know how, I just don't know how the line of sight works. If you just can see them. It's not getting all wrapped up in it.
Starting point is 00:11:48 Just look at it and decide. It's you or the master. Yeah, I don't know, but I don't know what the rules are. If you break a rule, we'll let you know,
Starting point is 00:11:55 but the rule is it's up in the air. You're listening to the final episode of the Fox Canopodcast. I feel like that's not the rule. I feel like the sheet probably says
Starting point is 00:12:00 you need a clear line of sight. You can see through every corner. Every corner of your square has to go through unab need to clear line of sight. No, you can see through every corner. Every corner of your square has to go through unabated to every corner of their square to have line of sight.
Starting point is 00:12:10 And that is like, does not happen a lot. Okay, so you can... When you can actually see them. You can see that one guy then in the back, the one that is closest to the stairs leading up.
Starting point is 00:12:20 Yeah. Evil eye. Evil eye. AC. It rolled a 15. Evil eye. Evil eye. AC. Uh, it rolled a 15. It saves. All right.
Starting point is 00:12:30 So for one round, minus two, the AC and Gormley will then cackle to extend it to two rounds. You son of a bitch. Let's, uh, let's attack every other monster. Cackling fool. All right.
Starting point is 00:12:42 Lork. Lork. Really? Yeah. Um, okay. Lork? Really? Yeah. Okay. Lork is going to... I love this music. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:51 Lork is going to take two shots. He's going to do his... Rapid shot? Rapid shot. Oh, he's whipping out his bow? He's whipping out his bow. He has rapid shot? He has rapid shot.
Starting point is 00:13:03 So tell me about rapid shot to our listening fans that don't know the rules of Pathfinder. It allows you to take an extra shot in a full attack action. And a minus, though, right? You don't get your full attack bonus, do you? Correct. It's a penalty to both shots. And, yeah, so it's a little bit harder to hit. But, you know, he gormily lowered the guy's AC,
Starting point is 00:13:26 so I think it's a good time to do two shots. If you just do one shot, it's more accurate, but does less damage. Right. So I'm going to try to do two shots. Basically, I want to try to take a step back from, like, rushing right into these guys because in the last episode or two, it's been brutal because they have these giant blades that do huge amounts of damage and Lork went down last
Starting point is 00:13:48 time below zero. So he's trying to avoid it if at all possible. Sure, sure, sure. He'll take two shots. Now, in their defense, you were the one that almost killed yourself. I know, I know. With one of their weapons, though. Yeah, and Orc almost killed him.
Starting point is 00:14:04 It was the Orc side of me. If you accidentally shoot this bow into your eye and go unconscious. Don't even bring it up, man. Don't say it. Don't say it. All right. So shooting at the guy that Gormley has evil-eyed. First shot.
Starting point is 00:14:17 Miss. Second shot. 16 to hit. 16 hits. All right. Thanks, Rapid Shot. Thank hits. All right. Rapid shot. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:14:27 Rapid shot. Three points of damage. You know, that's going to be good if I can give you the bit of luck. Yeah. If you do the rapid shot with that. Because you're rolling four times. That's true. I think you all need to stop scheming about taking bit of luck away from me.
Starting point is 00:14:42 Baron's been getting a lot of touching. This is just a theoretical. This is just a theoretical. This is a wild theoretical. Quit your metagame theories. As if I ever stopped touching you. When I think about you, I touch my dwarf. That's exactly
Starting point is 00:14:57 what the song sounds like in my head. It's Baron's turn. Baron is going to put his pistol between Lork's legs. Once again. And he's going to shout, love gun. He's going to shout. Grant's cracking himself up.
Starting point is 00:15:18 I crack Skid up too. I got Skid. I got Skid. Just because you didn't think it was funny. I did think it was kind of funny. All right, good. Just not as funny as you. All right, I'm going to roll, and I'm going to punch Joe in the face later.
Starting point is 00:15:32 Which guy are you shooting at? The guy with the minus AC that Joe also shot at. Ah, fair enough. And I'm going to get, how many squares is that? 15? 20? You could do up close and deadly. Up close and deadly.
Starting point is 00:15:44 So that is a 17 against Touch AC That is a hit Oh yeah I know it's not gonna be a 4 10 points of damage It is as you say Below 0
Starting point is 00:16:02 Get that grip point back Oh yeah grip point my man See that yeah, grip point, my man. See, that's another reason to try to stay ranged and do bows that I didn't even think of until now is the Orc Ferocity. All I can do is move towards you. Yeah, they can't. One guy died last episode. Just trying to move towards you.
Starting point is 00:16:18 Staggering towards. And I had to let it go because that's what he would do. Like, I'll get you. Yeah, he thought he had the stamina to push through. Nope. Not so much. All right. Galabras, Finn.
Starting point is 00:16:30 All you guys get to go before my... Oh, sweet. ...horks. All right. Well, I am actually standing next to Lork, so I will, in fact, give him a bit of luck. All right. My first time. All right.
Starting point is 00:16:41 Now, where do you... My first time being touched by a virgin. Yeah, where do you... Like a virgin. Wasn. Where do you like a virgin wasn't Della Reese touched you for the very first time. Let's sing more
Starting point is 00:16:51 Madonna on the show. Oh, man. How many done any my favorite McDonald's? We've hardly done any. Let's keep it that
Starting point is 00:16:59 way. Like a virgin. Whoa. Copyright. Two twenties. Next time. No, it's parody. Yeah, you're right. Roll 220s. Next time. No, it's parody.
Starting point is 00:17:06 Yeah, you're right. It's parody. Fair use. Okay. This guy on the far right corner. So these orcs are kind of spread out in the room. It's a circular shaped room. And the guy on the far right is going to throw a javelin at Lork.
Starting point is 00:17:29 Lork the orc. And he misses. All right. Okay. The next guy. Dodged it. The next guy, the one who has the low AC, with his last ditch effort, he starts swinging around this bolas. Do you know what that is?
Starting point is 00:17:48 A bola. A bola. Oh, the S is silent? Yes. A bola has claimed so many lives. Well, they're bolas. Yeah. So he swings around.
Starting point is 00:17:55 A bolo tie. A bola. And throws it at Lork's legs. Critical threat. Fuck. Which is probably the best thing for you, because it doesn't do a div. It does not confirm,
Starting point is 00:18:13 but it does seven points of non-lethal damage to Lork, and Lork, it tangles up your legs and you trip and fall to the ground. Alrighty. Shit. This is really awesome. Do you know what that is? It's like a little... and Lork, it tangles up your legs, and you trip and fall to the ground. All righty. Shit. This is really awesome.
Starting point is 00:18:27 Do you know what that is? It's like a little... Another tangle foot bag? No, it's got like two strings with little... No, I know what it all is, yeah, but it's the same effect, right? And you are just falling to the ground. All right.
Starting point is 00:18:39 And then the other dude comes up to Lork laying on the ground. Yes! And actually, you would step as close as possible. And the other dude comes up to Lork laying on the ground. Yes. And actually, you would step as close as possible. And takes a swing with his orc double axe. And misses. That's a helpless Lork. I would say.
Starting point is 00:19:01 That wasn't helpless. You know, he'd be a little bit closer, because right now Lork is 15 feet tall on the ground, so he'd be right there. Fair enough. Yep. Okay, round dos. Gormley.
Starting point is 00:19:16 Gormley. Gormley is going to... shoot her crossbow at this... Okay, so she's going to shoot her crossbow at the guy who just advanced on Lork. Okay, minus four to attack. Even if he's prone on the ground? You set a precedent.
Starting point is 00:19:40 Yeah, yeah, I'm just trying to think. I feel like it's different circumstances, but... He's still on the ground. I mean. I feel like it's different circumstances, but... Oh. He's still on the ground. I mean, if anything, it's even better now, because last time, he could get up. Could absolutely attack from the ground with his gun. All right. Lurk can't do shit.
Starting point is 00:19:55 That's fair, that's fair. He's all tangled up. That's fair. Tangled up in blue. 19 to hit. That's a hit. Fuck yes. Seven points of damage. Damn. Glamour is busting out this guy. He is, but... At or a hit. Fuck yes. Seven points of damage.
Starting point is 00:20:05 Damn. Gormley is busting out this crossbow. He is at or below zero. Holy shit. Nice work. Wow. Wowza wowza. So we have two guys.
Starting point is 00:20:14 Two guys at or below. Actually, the other guy died. The other guy died, yeah. Oh, great. The guy at the stairs. He's the one that threw it. No, no, no. I think we had four in here to begin with.
Starting point is 00:20:26 No, there were three. The guy that threw the bolas. He hit Lork. He's down. Yeah, his last dying action was to put me down. It was a trip of a frontline fire. Okay, it is now Lork's turn. Can I do...
Starting point is 00:20:43 Is it possible to do a full withdrawal? A disguise check? To, like, roll out of the way? And just get out of there? You would be squandering the luck. That's true, it's only one round. But can he attack melee from the ground? Well, what are my options here?
Starting point is 00:20:59 Your options, if you want to do full withdrawal, you could stand up and move your normal amount of spaces. I'm wrapped up in a bola. I mean is it only one round? It was enough to trip you.
Starting point is 00:21:08 Oh it's just a trip. Yeah you're tripped. Oh okay. I'm sorry that's why I thought it was just like the tangle foot bag.
Starting point is 00:21:13 I thought it kept me wrapped up. Yeah no no no. That was a tangle burn bag that hit that time. I thought that it was an ongoing
Starting point is 00:21:20 effect. Okay so then orc double axe. That's brutal. And you're laying on the ground. Does that lower your AC? Or no?
Starting point is 00:21:31 Do you go flat-footed on the ground? No. You might want to hold your action and let me kill him. Oh yeah, that's a great idea. Yeah, good idea.
Starting point is 00:21:39 I'll hold my action until I can get up without incurring an attack of opportunity. I will ready an action. If I can get up without incurring an attack of opportunity. I will ready an action. If I can get up without incurring an attack of opportunity, I will get up and
Starting point is 00:21:49 fire my bow at somebody. I can't do rapid shot getting up, but I can fire once. Okay. It is Baron's turn. Baron said, as usual, let's let a real man take care of things.
Starting point is 00:22:06 He's just mad about the bit of luck. That was such bad timing, Galabros. I apologize. You can't give a man with no luck a little bit of luck. Never again. No, no, don't let this sour you on it. I'm going to take this guy down. Regular shot.
Starting point is 00:22:21 I'm not going to fucking grit him because I can't get a grip point back. Well, if I kill him after he's below zero, will I get a grip point back? No, because he's already... Right, okay. So I'm gonna regular... Ooh, 24. That's a hit. Rolling great.
Starting point is 00:22:41 Three. Okay, and that was yeah he's still up yeah he's still up but he's the guy that's already at or below zero alright Galabras Galabras is going
Starting point is 00:22:56 to he's going to fire his crossbow at the orc that hasn't been hit yet I think he has a line of sight on him. Right, the one to the right. Yeah, on the far side of the room. Far side of the room.
Starting point is 00:23:12 This is momentous. I have this giant 20-sided die. Check out glasscanonpodcast.tumblr.com to see it. It's the size of, as Matthew pointed out, a paperweight. It's about the Glasscanonpodcast.tumblr.com to see it. It's the size of, as Matthew pointed out, a paperweight. It's about the size of a baseball.
Starting point is 00:23:28 So listen to this. Listen to the sound it makes when I roll it on the table. Ooh! 16. That's a hit. That's a good roll, too. All right. And two damage.
Starting point is 00:23:42 All right. Unfortunately, I don't have a giant eight-sided die You could get giant die of every denomination I think I'm going to do that With my poor fiduciary planning Make sure they're gold-plated too, Skip Can you get some giant 24-karat gold dice? I want to get the kind of dice Mr. Burns would get
Starting point is 00:24:02 If he was a D&D player Excellent to get the kind of dice Mr. Burns would get if he was a D&D player. Excellent. The guy who originally threw a javelin, the one that Galabras just hit. Man, you guys are all still outside, huh? Yeah, right outside the door.
Starting point is 00:24:19 Right outside the door. They got to jump over Lork? He steps up to Lork. Lork the Orc. And swings his greataxe at Lork. Shit.
Starting point is 00:24:32 Well, last time you had the guy with the javelin move and pull out a weapon and you said that was all he could do. He dropped his javelin. No, you can... Because we have the rule
Starting point is 00:24:41 where if you drop your weapon then you can immediately draw the other for us. Draw as part of the move. Yeah, this guy threw his javelin. Okay. So. I think that's going to be a hit.
Starting point is 00:24:51 17? Miss. Whoa! Chain mail! Yeah! Okay, and then the other guy with his dying move swings his orc double axe and lorks prone. Helpless?
Starting point is 00:25:07 I'm not helpless, I am not helpless. Nope, 17 again. Yes! So missed! Yeah! I love it when that armor, when you buy new armor and it works. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:21 Brutes Magoots. Okay, it is is Now That guy falls So Oh but But the new guy stepped up So it ruined my My ready to action Change your
Starting point is 00:25:31 So the Biddleuck is Squandered Squandered And it is Gormley Gormley's turn Gormley's gonna evil eye This last door
Starting point is 00:25:41 Yeah Gracie Okay We'll save Does not Succeed on the will save is going to evil eye this last orc. Yeah. Okay. We'll save. Does not succeed on the will save. Great. And for her move action, she'll reload her crossbow.
Starting point is 00:25:55 Very good. Lork. I thought you were holding until... Yeah, I readied in action, but it never occurred because that guy stepped up instead of throwing another jet. You should hold again. I think we can take him down. I'm not going to take another free hit while I'm laying on the ground. You're going to get a free hit now, though.
Starting point is 00:26:14 Not if I withdraw. Can I withdraw? From the ground? Yeah, just roll away. Yeah, you can stand up and then move your normal amount of spaces. But in standing up, don't you incur an attack of opportunity? Not if you do a full withdraw. Okay.
Starting point is 00:26:30 You can move out of a threatened space. I don't have to get up. I can just roll away. Okay. And do nothing else. And then stand up on the far side, but not... Because standing up is a move action, right? Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:26:41 Right, so you're going to do that move action followed by the other move action. No, the first move action is going to be a roll away. Okay. And then the second move action will be stand up,hmm. Right, so you're going to do that move action followed by the other move action. No, the first move action is going to be a roll away. Okay. And then the second move action will be stand up, so I can attack this round.
Starting point is 00:26:49 Yeah, that's fine. And that's, I avoid the attack of opportunity and I pay for it by not acting, essentially. Okay. You've paid your debt.
Starting point is 00:27:00 Barone. Baron does a swift reload and says, I want to see you from the inside. Fuck. Ten against touch. Maybe later. Miss.
Starting point is 00:27:18 Even with the minus. Oh, but it was up close and deadly, so he takes half of that damage. Oh, I'm sorry. With the minus to the AC, that is a hit. Oh, fuck yes. Oh, nice. That's up close and deadly, so he takes half of that damage. Oh, I'm sorry. With the minus to the AC, that is a hit. Oh, fuck yes. Oh, nice. That's up close and deadly. Nice.
Starting point is 00:27:29 And then... Nine points of damage. Nice. It is below its HP. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ah, Galabras. You can take it out. Do it.
Starting point is 00:27:44 I'm going to reload. Do it, Gal out Do it I'm going to reload I'm going to reload and fire He can't hit He could move, but he couldn't hit any of us Do it for Carl So we could just wait No, I'm going to take a shot at him Remember, this would be minus four though
Starting point is 00:28:00 Is it? Yeah, he's melee with this guy oh oh well let me just wait well but then he's still gonna take a second no he can't yeah he's in a way with you oh okay yeah I'm gonna step up and mace him. Ooh. Bold. Bold. That's a bold move. Nice. 16. Hits. Nice job, Galabras.
Starting point is 00:28:30 Holy shit. Two. God damn it. Two damage. And since you're the last creature that it saw, it swings its greataxe at Galabras. You're a brave man, Galabros. Galabros has had a tough
Starting point is 00:28:48 past couple of half hours. No, he's been good. Hits. Hits Galabros with his dying action. We haven't seen this weapon hit yet. Oh boy. Hit the intended target, at least.
Starting point is 00:29:04 For 15 points of damage. I'm down. Fuck. And then the orc falls, right? And then the orc falls, and danger has been... I'm going to grab Galabras' healing kit. Galabras, no! No, wait.
Starting point is 00:29:22 No, no, no, wait. I'm at zero, so I'm staggered. Oh, okay. Yeah, so I can... You can take a potion. You can still channel. Yeah, I'll just channel. Or would you rather
Starting point is 00:29:32 take a potion? Is anyone else hurt? I'm hurt. I'm not hurt. Oh, I'm a little hurt, but I could also force a potion down your throat. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:29:37 No, no, no. I'll just channel. How are you doing with your channels? What do you got left? I have... I've got two left, so... That's a good time.
Starting point is 00:29:47 Yeah, I'll use another one now. And, Gorm, you can just hex at will. You have multiple... innumerable hexes per day? Innumerable hexes. Wow, that's great. I mean, spells, I'm kind of...
Starting point is 00:29:57 Yeah, you got nothing. I got nothing yet. Here's my gold-plated Roman dice again. Five! Five? Thank you, Tiberius Severus, whoever you were.
Starting point is 00:30:10 Okay. Do you heal? What happens with non-lethal damage when you get magical healing? Does it all wash away? Yeah, that heals non-lethal, too. Emotional damage, though, doesn't help with it.
Starting point is 00:30:24 That just scars. You guys made pretty short work of those guys could have been a lot worse uh yeah yeah so they presumably based off of the
Starting point is 00:30:33 change in tempo became augmented by this correct you it appears to be that way yeah
Starting point is 00:30:40 you can roll a perception check if you want uh no I'm alright 24 ooh uh 26 10 Yeah. You can roll a perception check if you want. No, I'm all right. 24. Ooh, 26. 10. Do any of you guys have knowledge local?
Starting point is 00:30:53 I do. Yep. No, I do not. We do not. Just Gormley? Just the character that... 14 knowledge local. They seem to be raging. Barbarian.
Starting point is 00:31:07 Interesting. There's something from that song gave them a, uh, strength. There's like an orc bard. Yeah. Some sort of an orc blood rager. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:18 Wait, what's the one that's, uh, what's that new class? That's like a mix between a barbarian and a bard? Oh, yeah, yeah. Not a scald. Scald.
Starting point is 00:31:28 Yeah, scald. Scalding hot coffee all over your lap. All right. Time to sue McDonald's. By the way, that's exactly right. That's some sort of scald situation. Ah, okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:42 Nailed it. Nice job. Bottle cap. Thanks, Troy. Yeah, well, you both did it together, so you know. No, I did it by myself. Nice job. Bottle cap. Thanks, Troy. You both did it together so you know I did it by myself. Share that bottle cap. Alright, I'll take it. Grant and Joe
Starting point is 00:31:51 now share a bottle cap. Correctly guessing what this is called. Okay, so yeah, now you are on this first floor and there are stairs leading up the tower. I'm going to use a heal spell on myself cure light wounds on myself i like it come on treat yourself roll it high treat yourself
Starting point is 00:32:16 come on baby come on boxcars boxcars all right seven no eight eight points that's awesome no no 20 points of healing alright so let's take a quick stock here what's our healing options we have one channel I have 2 potions I have 2 potions of cure light wounds left I can do one more cure light wounds one more channel
Starting point is 00:32:44 I have one more channel And I have four charges Left in the wand Of Cure Light Wounds Oh okay We're good That's it Let's not be afraid
Starting point is 00:32:51 To ever use things That's my new I'm using all the shit No no You're doing great But I hate it When you Like have so many
Starting point is 00:32:57 Consumables left Or if you don't Cast Mage Armor On yourself When a town Is literally being There are fiery boulders it's been one hour and 57 all right so uh lork is going to it's up to you baron if you want to lead the way you can
Starting point is 00:33:13 lead the way but otherwise i just want to work my way up the steps with my bow did that at the ready so i think that the only benefit to us though... Did the change, did the song that changed their capabilities come from the person at the top of the tower? And was that definitely correlated to the loud noise we made? Because presumably everyone's raging now. But perhaps we could still sneak up on them.
Starting point is 00:33:38 Basically, when Lork failed his stealth check and made a loud sound going into the room, your presence, it alerted your presence to everyone within the tower. Everyone.
Starting point is 00:33:51 That's the feeling you get because it's just then that the record scratched. And then all of a sudden the new song started and the orcs started foaming at the mouth. But no one's charged
Starting point is 00:34:01 down the stairs at this point, so it's worth at least trying to stealth up. Right. So I'll trying to stealth up. Right. So I'll try to stealth up. I guess we all have to do that, right? Never mind. Oh, fucking 11.
Starting point is 00:34:14 14 for Lork. So Baron kind of stumbles up the steps pretty loudly. 11's not a stumble. It's just not particularly a stumble. A 2 would be a stumble. Nice, Gorm particularly a stumble. A 2 would be a stumble. Nice. And the second floor is empty. Oh, great. Perfect.
Starting point is 00:34:31 And there's more stairs leading up to the roof. Can I do a perception to see if there's anything of value or barrels or chests or anything like that? Sure. Me too. Alchemist's fire. 20. 7 for Roran. It appears to be empty and ransacked.
Starting point is 00:34:48 Are there any arrows of orcs, Bane? There are dead guards everywhere. Oh, I retrieved my bolts, by the way. I am going to attempt to stealth up again. Yeah, there are just dead Trunown guards all up the stairs, all along the floor, everywhere. Guys, you might recognize Lork. Try to stealth.
Starting point is 00:35:12 Fumble. I hate this dice. I lost my dice under the couch. Fuck. So you come up the stairs and you see, very loudly, again, just rushing up there. He's full of vigor. Vim and vigor. Rushing up there, you see three more orcs,
Starting point is 00:35:31 and then you see this ripped orc that looks a lot different from the other guys with blue war paint across his face, just violently beating a big drum. Oh, jeez. That's awesome looking, guys. Please visit our Tumblr. Make sure you visit the Tumblr,
Starting point is 00:35:47 because this is one of the best pictures. That is fucking great. I love it. And he is just going to town on it. And roll for initiative. He is beating that drum. Beat that drum, baby. We are now at 20 on the initiative.
Starting point is 00:36:03 We are now in open air. Yeah, you are now on top of this crenellated roof. You love saying crenellated. It's got to be the crackling Oprah and Joe is eating. And Baron is leading the charge. And I'm assuming Lork and then Gormley and then Galabras because Gormley's stealth up there. Okay, what'd you get, Gorm?ley's stealth up there. Okay.
Starting point is 00:36:26 What'd you get, Gorm? Nine. Oh, boy. Finally. 22 for Lork. 22 for Lork. 20 for Baron. 20 for Baron.
Starting point is 00:36:34 Galabras? 20. Whoa. I also rolled a natural. What's your bonus? Oh, I'm a five bonus. Okay. Gormley, you said a... Nine. Very uncharacteristic of gormley she was too busy
Starting point is 00:36:47 trying to be stealthy right that'll teach her uh all right so lork lork from orc uh nano nano it's uh that guy beating the drum is in the back and he's being like uh protected by a ring of three orcs uh not a lot of space up here this is like 30 30 by 30 foot uh crenellated roof what a jackass so we're all on the roof right now all open on the roof and it is lc's turn. I was thinking about holding until I got a bit of luck. Yeah, I was going to advise. You could do a bit of luck all day, or that's not really a certain thing? No, I've still got three left. That's pretty good.
Starting point is 00:37:41 Is it like six plus your charisma? Yeah. I've got two left. All right. I am going to... I'll hold until I get a bit of luck from Galabras. How are you feeling right now, Lork? I'm getting the sense you're a little nervous.
Starting point is 00:38:03 Yeah, I'm hesitant. I'm feeling the sense you're a little nervous. Yeah, I'm hesitant, man. I'm feeling that from you. I wanted to do ranged, but this is a little too tight, and when these guys are raging, it's going to get ugly. So I know that I only have one chance for the shot, but I want to give it my best chance, and then I'll switch to melee weapons. I think you should just...
Starting point is 00:38:21 All right. I think that you will deal more damage if you wait for bit of luck and melee whereas like if you hit or you don't like your maximum is going to be what i think using bit of luck on melee is going to pay better dividends for us in the long run even though it would be a great opening volley. Yeah. So you might as well just shoot. It's really tight.
Starting point is 00:38:48 It's really tight in. You might as well get your shot off now. That's what I think. All right. All right. Fine. Fuck it. Get ready for this critical he's going to roll.
Starting point is 00:38:57 All right. I'll shoot twice. Aim once, shoot twice. I'll shoot twice at the guy right in the center of the three orcs that are fanning out and guarding the scald and they seem just as ferocious as the ones downstairs so first shot
Starting point is 00:39:12 14 to hit that's a hit oh because they're raging that brings their AC down 7 damage on the first one second shot miss I would imagine 9 That brings their AC down. Seven damage on the first one. Second shot. Miss. Well, yeah, miss.
Starting point is 00:39:28 I would imagine nine. Nine to AC. Yeah, that's a miss. You said seven damage? Seven damage. That brings him to zero. Oh, sweet. So that's why it's one step back.
Starting point is 00:39:38 So that's good. And then I'm going to drop the bow. And as my move action, I'm going to pull out a... But you can't take a move action. It's a rapid shot of full ground action. Yeah, you're absolutely right. So I'll just drop the bow, and then I'll draw as part of the next round. Okay.
Starting point is 00:39:56 The guy beating the drums looks at you, Lork, and just like... Let's out this ear piercing scream roll a fortitude save I believe it's fuck let's see if you had a bit of luck you'd be able to roll it twice alright man Grant talked me out
Starting point is 00:40:18 of it 10 oh no he won't you'd be able to do the attack and then the fortitude? Any 20 side of die, you roll that whole round. All right, so this scream hits you, like, stepped up, and this thing deafens you. You take four points of sonic damage,
Starting point is 00:40:36 and you're dazed for one round. Oh, fuck me. And just to let you know, dazed is not on my sheet in front of me, so look it up. It's not that bad. I think it's probably like... It's like minus two something or other. Oh, I think dazed is like you my sheet in front of me, so look it up. It's not that bad. It's like a minus two something or other. Oh, I think dazed is like you can't do anything.
Starting point is 00:40:50 No, that's stunned. You are dazed. That was the guy in the back, and now it is barren. Oh, wait, wait, wait. You're absolutely right. Damn it. What? Unable to act. For one round. And you're still not holding a weapon right now. So you dropped your weapon, and now you are defenseless and weaponless.
Starting point is 00:41:13 Yep. Baron is going to get up close and deadly with the orc on his far left, your right, Troy. Okay, that guy there, sure. Which one did you shoot? The one in the middle. Joe shot middle. There are three lined up in a row. Nine to touch, AC.
Starting point is 00:41:35 That's a miss. Damn it. Galabras, Finn. Should have waited for that bit of luck. I knew it. No, you're good good you took out one guy you'll be fine we'll be fine
Starting point is 00:41:48 I'm gonna shoot a crossbow at the one let me get this battle sound back this is dangerous the one that hasn't been shot at yet
Starting point is 00:41:59 okay so the one on the far my far left yeah fumble the one on my far left. Fumble! Oh god, why does this always... Oh, it's going to be a tough one! Bad things happen in threes.
Starting point is 00:42:16 Archer's elbow. You take a minus two penalty on all ranged attack rolls for 1d4 minutes. Oof. That's not awful, though. No. It's not your primary roll. It's the entire combat. You could crit your own face with a greataxe. No, I'm just saying Galabras' main roll,
Starting point is 00:42:32 he can switch to mace, and he's a healer. So it's not bad. No, 100%. He took zero damage from that. It's actually great. Yeah. How many minutes? 1d4 minutes? It's the whole combat. Yeah, the whole combat. Three. Two. whole combat. Three.
Starting point is 00:42:47 Two. Two minutes. Oh. Oh, no. Yeah. So unless this lasts 20 rounds. In 20 rounds, you'll be fine. Do not despair.
Starting point is 00:42:56 Okay. The dude that... Which one of you hit? Or tried you hit? Or tried to hit? I hit the one in the middle. He said he's below zero. This was Galabras and this was Baron. The one that Baron attacked
Starting point is 00:43:14 throws Bolas at Baron's feet. To try and trip him. And hits. Take damage? Yeah, it's non-lethal,
Starting point is 00:43:29 but it's going to take you down to the ground. It's seven points of non-lethal damage, and you trip. The guy that Lork attacked steps up. And dies. had been here, Joe just threw him across the room because he's dead. And then the other one,
Starting point is 00:43:55 Galabras tried to shoot at, steps up and attacks Galabras with an orc double axe. Fuck. Fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck. And misses. I'm so scared! Galabras is like,
Starting point is 00:44:14 just moving out of the way of this huge gross looking axe. Round two, lork. Gormley never went for round one. Oh, I'm sorry, Gormley. G gormley you go last uh so am i in melee with this orc as well yes all right so gormley's gonna take a five foot step towards lork and fire a crossbow at the one you'll still take minus four because it's not if you're in melee it's if it's in melee with an ally he'll at least remove himself okay yeah the way so
Starting point is 00:44:40 you'd probably go backwards yeah uh and, I'm going to fire my crossbow. You know what? No. I'm going to evil eye the one that's in combat with Galabras. Ah, okay. The one that just swung his... Yeah, for attack roll. For attack roll. Nice.
Starting point is 00:44:58 And he rolled a 14. That saves for one round. So you get one round and minus two to your attack roll. My five foot step was my move action, right? Yes, that's correct. Okay.
Starting point is 00:45:15 Now it is round two. Lork is dazed, so it goes to the gentleman in the back who just to the gentleman in the back who just like looks at Gormley and sends some sort of energy
Starting point is 00:45:35 towards her. Castors are so scary. Roll a will save. 23. Oh, thank God. You save. A very, very good save.
Starting point is 00:45:53 Otherwise, you would have just succumbed to... Do you have knowledge, Arkhan? I do indeed. You should try to roll to find out what spell was cast to you. I'm going to try to roll knowledge, Arkhan, to find out what spell was cast to you. I'm going to try to roll knowledge or canon to find out what spell was cast to me. Yeah, as a spellcaster. Do it.
Starting point is 00:46:06 Give it a shot. Great backseat role-playing there, Lork. Well, he doesn't know how to play. I know. I'm just joking. I'm just joking.
Starting point is 00:46:12 Why do you get angry? You just successfully saved on hideous laughter. Ooh. Which would have... Oh, but would that have been cackling? It would have extended
Starting point is 00:46:22 all of our actions. It would have extended all of my actions forever. You've never heard Gormley laugh. It's much different and much creepier. Hideous laughter
Starting point is 00:46:30 doubles the target over an uncontrollable laughter, and they can't do anything else. For, in this case, three rounds. You get a new save
Starting point is 00:46:37 every round, but otherwise you just are sitting on the ground laughing. It's like being dazed. Uncontrollably. Same thing. Right.
Starting point is 00:46:42 Except it lasts longer. All right, Baron. Baron. Baron will flip himself up. And he will take aim after rapidly reloading at the gentleman immediately in front. The one that Joe's pointing at. Rapid reload is pretty sweet.
Starting point is 00:47:05 So you can just do the whole purpose of pointing at it silently. You're shaking, so I could hear it through my microphone. You mentioned rapid reload a lot. I just want to check in with it. So this is a feat, just allows you to always rapid reload?
Starting point is 00:47:18 Or is it a... So rapid reload basically reduces the type of action down one level it would take to reload. But that varies on ammunition. So I think it's a full round action if I'm just reloading with gunpowder and a bullet. But I'm using a chemical pack, so that would go from full round to move. Okay. I'm going from move to swift.
Starting point is 00:47:44 Ah, okay. Because you wouldn't have been able to stand up and do a move action. That's what I was checking. Okay. I'm going from move to swift. Ah, okay. Because you wouldn't have been able to stand up and do a move action. That's what I was checking. Okay, cool. So I'm going to shoot. But wait, do you have a bottomless pile of alchemical paper cartridges?
Starting point is 00:47:55 I'm going to need to buy some more at some point. So they're consumable. Yeah, they're consumable. But I mean, I can craft them. That's why I have an alchemy feed. Got it. All right, so which guy are you shooting at there? Far right?
Starting point is 00:48:08 Yeah. So that is a 15 against a touch AC. That's a hit. I'm out of my grit. Oh. Nine points of damage. Holy shit. And he is below.
Starting point is 00:48:24 Awesome. He is the love below. All right, Galapagos. Holy shit. And he is below. Awesome. He is the love below. All right, Galabras. All right, I am going to swing with my mighty giant 20-sided die. Well, do it. At this fucker standing in front of me who just hit me.
Starting point is 00:48:41 And miss. He rolled a two, ladies and gentlemen. I sure did. All right. The one that Baron attacked, he's the one that threw the bolas. He pulls out... No, the guy that threw the bolas died, I thought.
Starting point is 00:48:58 Was that bolas guy? No, bolas guy. Yeah, the one that you shot. So he is going to step up with a spiked chain. He'll step up and die. And die, yeah. Wait, he's dead? Yep.
Starting point is 00:49:09 You said he went below zero, right? Oh, I'm sorry. He did nine damage. All right, so he's going to throw a... He's going to throw... What? What? What?
Starting point is 00:49:16 What? What? What? An axe at him. He's going to throw an axe at him. A throwing axe. Yes. And misses.
Starting point is 00:49:24 Goodbye. And now he's dead. Oh, Joe really hit that one. And,. Goodbye. And now he's dead. Oh, Joe really hit that one. You are the weakest orc. Goodbye. Goodbye. The other one goes again with the orc double axe. Minus two AC.
Starting point is 00:49:38 I'm sorry, minus two attack. Minus two attack, yes, on Galabras. Good thing it was a minus two to attack because it missed. And now it is Gormley's turn. That is a great laugh. I love that laugh. So Lork's days will be up after this round, right? Yeah, I'm done.
Starting point is 00:49:54 So Gormley's going to evil eye the drummer. Okay, now that attack, did you cackle last time or was that just a one-off? No, I couldn't. I had to move and then... Right, okay. Just want to keep track.
Starting point is 00:50:04 So yeah, he's back to normal cool all right so Gormley is gonna evil eye the ringleader here pretty casted drama and that is a will save let me check out my man's nothing has good will scaled as great will. Still fails. Wow. AC. All right. So for six rounds, minus two to AC. Oh. And now for my move action,
Starting point is 00:50:33 Gormley's going to cackle to extend the hex on the guy that's in melee combat with Calabrus. There you go. So now he is minus two for an extra round on his attack roll. Love it. Oh, wow. Okay. Love it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:50:43 All right. Very exciting. Round three. Lork, you. Okay. Love it. Okay. All right. Very exciting. Round three. Lork, you wake up. Lork is pissed, and he is going to... Can he, like, I had already dropped my bow. Right. So can I charge at the Skald
Starting point is 00:51:05 while drawing a weapon? Uh, you have another weapon? You just dropped the bow. I dropped the bow last round, before I was dazed. Right, so you want to draw a weapon and charge. Yeah, I want to draw a weapon, run at him, and then put a battleaxe in his face.
Starting point is 00:51:22 Sure. Okay, so I run, pull out this battleaxe, this is my city! Runs up, smashes him! Yeah, and hits him! 24. Yeah. That's a hit.
Starting point is 00:51:38 24 to hit. 15 damage. Oh! Oh, baby! Oh, baby! Oh, that masterwork battleaxe! Oh, baby. Oh, baby. Oh, that masterwork battle axe. Lork's back, baby. Lork is back.
Starting point is 00:51:51 All right. He drops his drum to the ground. Nice. Does that hurt this guy's rage? No, it's already been enacted. It lasts for X amount of rounds, which is coming up soon. Yeah, make up whatever rules you want.
Starting point is 00:52:07 It's cool. Got it right here. Got it right here. Nice try. I'll let you charge and draw a weapon. Be cool. Okay, so what I need you... Be cool.
Starting point is 00:52:18 Be cool. Be cool, man. So the guy that just got hit with the axe just sends out a spell that affects everyone. It is a spell, right? So does he roll concentration or? Yep. Now, you've got to tell me about concentration because I can't remember what it is.
Starting point is 00:52:35 So it's 15 plus double the spell level to cast defensively. So whatever the spell level is, double it. And that's the DC. And he rolls a caster level check. And what is the caster level? Is it a D20 plus your concentration modifier? No, it's a D20 plus his caster level. Whatever it is.
Starting point is 00:52:53 Yeah, but you can have a bonus to your concentration. Some people do. Yeah, if he has... Like he's got concentration plus a number right in front of me. Then that's what he adds to his D2020 and that's it. If it says it on the monster breakdown, that's including his total.
Starting point is 00:53:09 I hit it. Okay. So, you need to all roll a save. A will save. DC 13. 12 for Gormley.
Starting point is 00:53:24 13. Oh my god Right on the dot 10 Oh Calabras God damn it Boner 24 Okay
Starting point is 00:53:37 So Baron And Uh Gormley Fall asleep Can I ask a question? Fall asleep Can I ask a Wait wait Can I ask a question?
Starting point is 00:53:46 Yes. We're on this crenellated tower. Yes. In the rules and the mechanic of combat is there a room
Starting point is 00:53:57 for me to jump off the tower to avoid this spell? There is not. I would like that. Amazing though. Come on. I'd like to pose a
Starting point is 00:54:05 question I don't know if you could survive 4d 6 no no if you would like ready to an action or held your action maybe like if you said if he cast sleep I'll jump but yeah I'm Aaron and I'd like to raise a question for the lork specifically if that earlier shared bottle cap was indeed not a joke, would this be a time to use it or no? Yeah, so normally you could use a bottle cap for anything. You guys were sharing it, so you could decide, I'm going to use it, but you have to do it before you roll.
Starting point is 00:54:36 You can't be like, I failed my roll. Can I use my bottle cap? You have to say, I'm going to use my double roll now. So you, Baron and Gormley are out cold. And they will remain asleep
Starting point is 00:54:53 for three minutes. Oh, God. It takes a standard action to wake them. Or if they're attacked, they awake. We fall to the ground in a sleep, or is it some sort of magical standing sleep?
Starting point is 00:55:10 Yeah, you float. Yeah, no, you fall to the ground, fall asleep. And now it is, would have been Baron's turn, so it's Calabrus' turn. Oh, I snore heartily. Don't skip over that. I'm sorry. Roleplay snoring.
Starting point is 00:55:26 Calabrus, is there any way for you to fall back? Like, can you withdraw down the steps? I mean, if this guy hits you, we're in really, really bad shape. I don't know. It's just something to think about. Uh... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:43 Yeah. No. Or you could just attack one of us right now remaining on the roof don't you have that fumble where like you can your ranged attack is basically useless
Starting point is 00:55:57 so you could attack us with the range and it was killed and I missed he doesn't need to attack you yeah but it's a full round action. No, I'm just gonna swing my mace at this jerk off. You're gonna go with that dice again?
Starting point is 00:56:13 Oh boy. Here we go, here it comes. It's a big one. Oh boy. Ten. That's a miss. So now I'm gonna die, so. That'll be the end Of That'll be the day
Starting point is 00:56:29 Galapagos You heal What are you at For hit points Galap I'm at I'm at 13 Alright Now this guy
Starting point is 00:56:36 Now time to do 13 damage He has a Minus 2 to attack But he does swing His orc double axe At Galapagos Finn The most courageous Wait wait wait Cleric We could bottle cap this But he does swing his orc double axe at Galabras Finn, the most courageous cleric.
Starting point is 00:56:48 We could bottle cap this. No, it's between the two of us. What? It was bonded to the two of us for knowing it wasn't. We can use it whenever we want to give the DM disadvantage. Yeah, you can use it on the DM anytime.
Starting point is 00:57:00 Yeah. Sure, fuck him. Fuck him. I'm turning it in. Disadvantage to you on this attack against Galabras so normally they use it to give themselves two rolls take the better one but you can use it
Starting point is 00:57:12 to say F you DM you roll twice take the lower roll two times you know what and I don't normally do this when I'm gonna roll it in front of you guys just so you know what's what alright eight and nine what's what. All right.
Starting point is 00:57:27 Eight and a nine. What's your AC? Fifteen. Miss City. All right. You just may have saved Galabras' life. Gormley, asleep. I couldn't think of a better way to use a split bottle cap, though. Yeah, save our friend.
Starting point is 00:57:41 We don't know. It's for me. That's really selfless. All right, you're in another bottle cap. All right. They just keep going. It's like his grit points. don't know, it's for me. That's really selfless. Alright, you're in another bottle cap. Alright, just keep going. It's like his grit points. Just get it back because you used it.
Starting point is 00:57:49 You need like ranger grit. Speaking of ranger grit, Lork, you're up. Round four. Fucking kill that guy. Just kill him. This guy is decimating your friends.
Starting point is 00:58:00 Just kill him. Yeah, I'll attack him again. I'm going to take him out. I'm going to take him out. Probably not. 11 to hit. He laughs. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, with his fangs.
Starting point is 00:58:12 He laughs in your face. Would have loved to hit that. It's not funny. It's not funny. Now he... He's kind of cornered where he is. Exactly. That's why I wanted to stay there,
Starting point is 00:58:25 is keep the pressure on this fuck. He pulls out a scroll and starts reading from it. So attack of opportunity. Attack of opportunity. Come on, Lork. Do it, do it, do it, buddy. Oh, 18 to hit, please. Because of Gormley, this was the,
Starting point is 00:58:44 he failed his will save, right? Yeah, so that hits. Oh, awesome. That definitely hits. All right, 1d12. Come on, baby! It's an eight. Well, sorry, 12 damage.
Starting point is 00:58:57 Eight on the die, 12 damage. That's 27 this fuck is taking. Eight wouldn't have done it, but 12 puts him below 0 but he then he begins reading from his scroll right so he takes a penalty to the read
Starting point is 00:59:16 of it the concentration of reading it of 10 plus the damage he just took so negative 22 so that's the DC the DC is plus the damage he just took. So negative 22? So that's the DC. The DC is 22, it should be. So he starts to read from the scroll and you smack him
Starting point is 00:59:35 and you cut straight through the scroll. Oh, awesome. And he can't read it. He's like, ah, ah! But he tried and now he's dead. That was his act, right? He was starting to try to before. That was the beginning of his action, yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:50 So he still has one more. Oh, I thought he had knocked him down to. Wait, he started reading this a little prior. During the attack of opportunity, I took him below zero. Right. Right. But he still continued his action, you know what I mean? The timing's a little wonky. No, no, no. All right, I'm sorry. I forgot to subtract. I got what you're saying, like, he still continues action, you know what I mean? The timing's a little wonky.
Starting point is 01:00:05 No, no, no. No, no. All right. I'm sorry. I forgot it was an attack of opportunity. I got what you're saying. Yeah, yeah. Like, I guess he could be like, oh, well, no, I don't want to read the scroll, but I wouldn't
Starting point is 01:00:11 let you do that, so I can't do it either. No, no, I got you. No, no, no. He cut through the... Yeah. Yeah, I didn't realize it was an attack of opportunity. It was... It all happened at the same time.
Starting point is 01:00:18 I have him very quick. Rest assured, he's going to die soon. Baron's still sleeping. Galabras. Galabras standing toe to toe get out of there very healthy yeah
Starting point is 01:00:29 get out of there I'm gonna take a full withdrawal down the stairs okay okay so Galabras runs down to the basement and
Starting point is 01:00:41 this guy here steps up and flanks Lork with his orc double. With his orc double axe. With his orc double axe. I'm gonna Eiffel Tower you boy. He actually, he has a minus two to attack still
Starting point is 01:00:54 but he is swinging it twice. No, he can't. Oh, because he moved. He moved more than five feet. Yeah, you're right. Alright, so he's just swinging it once. Orc double axe, minus two to attack. Critical threat. Now I get a minus two to confirm as well. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:14 Does not confirm. Breed out. Excellent. I don't even think by flanking, the minus two and the flanking bonus offset, but it still was not enough to crit you. Hits you for 11 points of damage.
Starting point is 01:01:35 Imagine if that crits! Come on! Or imagine if he had swung twice. Imagine if he had hit poor Skid. Maybe Skid could run up now and rouse one of us. And it is Gormley's asleep next round
Starting point is 01:01:50 round 5 Lork Lork is going to turn around and attack the guy that just attacked him well yeah I'm doing it fuck it Natty 20 get out of here dude you could legit kill him and then this other guy's gonna quit this guy natty fucking 20 come on please confirm please yeah 20 to
Starting point is 01:02:14 confirm 20 total 20 total oh 20 just okay oh wait is it times three it's times three so you get your choice of two critical cards you get to take the best one you want. All right, so I'm going to read these two critical cards. Oh, this is awesome. I'm going to do a sapping slash. Double damage, and the target is fatigued. As if he wasn't down enough already. I'm so tired.
Starting point is 01:02:41 I'm so tired. Oh, dude. 26 damage. He's completely dead. Completely dead. Downward ferocity. Lork. Lork. And the ringleader, the drummer, with his last battle move before he dies,
Starting point is 01:03:00 swings his masterwork battle axe at Lork. Bring it, bitch. And misses. Yeah! Boom! Fucking awesome. And just as he dies, you see a celestial viper start to appear and then just fade out of existence.
Starting point is 01:03:16 He was going to summon a fucking viper. You viper. All right, so Lork, these two drop, and Lork is just standing alone on this battle top. He walks over to Baron, rouses him awake, and he's like, you can get up from your nap now, sweetie. I've taken care of it. Baron says, who came along and killed these guys?
Starting point is 01:03:35 I know they're true. So, yeah, the drummer has fallen. All six orcs that were in this tower have died, and you stand atop the battlements. With this bloodied masterwork battleaxe. It's covered in orc blood. Covered. Can we look out at this town and see what's going on?
Starting point is 01:03:58 Can we see the state of the... You know what? I'm going to end the episode with what you see now that you're 40 feet higher oh yeah everything else uh can i get a little can i get a little music for this uh maybe like a momentous music i you know it's i don't know where to find it wind beneath my wings the momentous music yeah no i don't know i got nothing so number one all right so just uh just start humming stuff while i uh much much lower than that uh all right so you're basically you're standing atop the uh the eastern humming stuff while I do do do do do do do do do
Starting point is 01:04:25 much much lower than that alright so you're basically you're standing atop the eastern lookout looking at now you have like a bird's eye view of what's happening in town and from atop the lookout you see Lower Trinow and the craggy
Starting point is 01:04:40 hills beyond the town's walls so right now you're in the inner quarter you can see from up here like the lower Truenau, which is where you're basically heading, where you saw where Cursed and all of them were running off to. To the northwest, just on the other side of the Barterstones, which are these big rocks right outside of the inner quarter, you see a group of orcs operating a catapult, just bombarding the guard tower above the Hope Spring with flaming boulders.
Starting point is 01:05:11 Just... Just hitting the towers, hitting the towers. To the west, another massive boulder smashes into one of the guard towers, which completely collapses, and you see people beneath it just standing there and they're covered in rubble. In addition,
Starting point is 01:05:30 a small group of orc raiders can be seen charging towards the town's main gate. Everybody roll a perception check. 17. 27. 10.
Starting point is 01:05:45 What's his name? Baron is the only one that notices 17 27 10 Joe 6 what's his name Baron is the only one that notices that there are mounted guards charging a group of orcs
Starting point is 01:05:54 to the north and it's led by Cursed so you see Cursed and a bunch of other guards on horseback like marching towards these orc raiders
Starting point is 01:06:04 and meanwhile they're taking a battering ramp to the main gate uh basically where you guys are heading uh on the other side of the inner city uh and then in the distance you see uh that the raider the orc raiders that cursed and these guys are charging towards are accompanied by a monstrous giant just grabbing boulders and throwing them at the city walls. You just see, you see you make out cursed among these people
Starting point is 01:06:33 but all of you see that. And yeah, you see a giant throwing boulders at the city walls. Challenge accepted. That's it? Outro Music

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