The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 157 - Enter the Wagon 2: I'll Hag What She's Hagging

Episode Date: May 29, 2018

While hailstones mercilessly rain down upon the escaped slaves, the heroes struggle to survive as the cliffside battle comes to its thrilling conclusion. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. This is so, this is a dicey situation. Lork is going. Let me tell you right now, it's not good. Innocent lives have been lost and someone must pay. Well, the ones we just led in an exodus down the side of a mountain you just heartlessly murdered. That's what I was saying. I didn't.

The bad guys. I thought they were. But the battle will not be won easily. This combat, maybe it's far from over. This might be a three-up combat. I don't know. And questions remain unanswered. You haven't seen what's been going on with that woman.

That haggie-looking crone. As the enemy regroups for a counterattack. And then out of the mist, she comes running at you. And pushes their advantage. This is bad business. Well, it's not like you're literally at the edge of a cliff. The heroes will seek help from another land. Yeah!

Denver! This one goes out to Denver! Let's go, Broncos! Mile high, baby! But will it be enough? Oh, no! Look at Grant's face! The adventure continues.

30. Okay. 30, bro. Right now. what's up everybody welcome back to the glass cannon podcast Podcast. It's me, Joe O'Brien, welcoming you to episode 157 of the show. A continuation of a combat on a cliffside at night on a snowy, windy mountain that I did not expect or see coming. And things are looking a little better than they were at the start of last week, but we're not out of the woods yet. A long way to go. they were at the start of last week, but we're not out of the woods yet. A long way to go.

But before we get into it, I have to say a huge thank you to everybody at Paizo Publishing for showing us an amazing weekend from start to finish. PaizoCon is one of those experiences that I've never had an experience like that in my life. I don't know when I will again, and I am so thankful to them for their hospitality and to all of GCP Nation for just coming out in droves and showing us just the best time ever. I'm sorry. Words escape me. It's just it's too much. Too much feels you guys too much feels. So I'm going to kind of move on here instead of just talking about how great GCP Nation is all the time. I want to talk about somebody new this week. I want to talk about a new actual play podcast that is launching this week for you guys that want to try out something new in between GCP apps. You can hear a new podcast by my best buddy cousins, Michael and Steven Stagliano. I've mentioned them on the show before. buddy cousins, Michael and Steven Stagliano.

I've mentioned them on the show before. Those of you that played League of Legends with us might know Steve. He is an employee at Riot Games. The two of them together, Michael and Steven, are game designers. They've designed games in the past, and this time they have designed an RPG that is a completely original design of theirs, and it is designed designed they took on that monumental task of designing an rpg for players that are not that familiar with rpgs so it's a good kind of entry level system and a good way to show how the magic of dice rolling can really tell amazing stories well they're they've recorded this new system that they made uh in actual play podcast. And it releases this week, tomorrow, actually, May 30th, 2018.

You'll be able to download the first three episodes of the brand new podcast, Tavern of Heroes. You can find it anywhere podcasts can be found. These guys have their bases covered. And you can find it right now. Actually, if you're listening to this on May 29th, the feed is up there and they have a trailer up there, which you can check out if you'd like. But then on May 30th, 2018, three episodes will release, three one-hour episodes.

And then after that, it becomes a weekly actual play podcast with a rotating cast of guests and characters. And it just sounds like it's going to be an amazing journey, and I wish them the best of luck, and I hope you guys enjoy it too. I can tell you personally, I have grown up with these guys. I've played games with them my whole life. They are two of my favorite people on the planet Earth, and I really think it's just going to be a blast of a time. So go ahead over and check out Tavern of Heroes when you get a chance and let them know what you think. Well, that's it for me this week, you guys. One more shout-out to everybody at PaizoCon.

It was so wonderful seeing all of you and meeting all of you, and I look forward to the next one. For now, though, let's get back into the nitty-gritty of combat. Please, everybody, enjoy episode 157 of the GCP. Maybe I've got to stop setting up these combats the way that I'm doing it, by giving so much hype, letting you know how dire the straights are,

because when you know that it's gonna be difficult, all of a sudden you start playing really well. Strategically... I was just, I'm sorry, I was just confused. I was under the impression it was going to be difficult. Yeah, well, I thought it was. I didn't know it was easy. It's not over yet. I was just confused. I was under the impression it was going to be difficult. Yeah, well, I thought it was. I didn't know it was easy. It's not over yet.

It's not over. And a lot of innocent people just die. I'm just poking the bear. That's all. I'm just poking the bear. Yeah, I know. And it's good. It gets me fired up.

We actually haven't done anything yet. Everybody's still alive. Everybody's still alive. Everyone's still alive. Except the slaves we just worked to save. All the slaves. My cold riders, I was very excited about. You've done significant damage to them.

I did not expect spell casters, to be honest. I thought we were looking at full charging, beastly, melee characters. These guys got a little bit of everything. They're out of Bestiary 3. And it's just a very, very cool. And they're fey? They are fey, yeah. They've got a lot of cool things.

Things that I don't even know if i'll get a chance to use like things that happen if x y and z happens huh it's just hard i mean the obscuring mist i had to do because you were lighting me up but it also put me at a disadvantage as well because now i can't charge it sort of stalls the combat right let's everybody reset a little bit but uh it favors it still favors me to do what i did and we can talk about it later but uh the fact that one of them is completely surrounded by this gnome that everyone's talking about on the interweb uh cat benatar baron and war cat ferraza who i really was excited to drop a spell on. I had to wait around to cast it.

I had to pass a pretty hard concentration check to be able to cast it while grappled. Still, you passed. Not in my house. But I did get some retribution back by killing a number of slaves. I mean, I don't know why you got to take it out on them, man. That didn't do nothing.

Well, you know what? I know that that is not even in that monster stat block. That Troy just wanted to viciously murder slaves. They cast a little thing called Ice Storm. Oh, yeah. Oh, I know Ice Storm. That's a classic. Plenty of range.

The slaves? Yeah, the slaves. They got together. They pulled their money together. They got one scroll of range. The slaves? The slaves. They got together. They pooled their money together. They got one scroll of ice. Really lucky use magical device roll. 3d6 points of bludgeoning damage.

2d6 points of cold damage to every creature in the area. I know it well. I rolled it once. The damage once just to see what it would be for like one of them. It was 19 points of damage. Is there a reflex save for that? There is no reflex save. It's a beautiful little spell. I love

those. So I'm going to tell you... Does it have spell resistance? I'm going to tell you right now with a die roll how many slaves died. Man, this is so gruesome, Troy. How did they even see them? Explain to me how they even knew

they were there to attack. They were around the bend. You cast Obscuring Mist, you can't see anything. It's not a targeted spell. No, I understand that. I'm just saying, like, how did they even know

slaves were there at all? Rhino power. Curious. Oh, maybe the old lady got invisible and gave them intel. Yeah, quite possible. Nine slaves. Dead. When I say dead, permadead.

Beyond their con. Oh, my God. Out of how many? What did we say? There were 41 left. Wait, over our slaves? There were 41 left. Yeah. Wait, over our slaves? Yeah, your slaves.

Yeah, yeah. Not our slaves. Our slaves. Those were our slaves. Oh, Baraza, you had plans. Matthew, they're called interns. Okay? Take it easy, buddy.

Wait a minute. Those were our slaves? I thought they were. Hey, I mean, I can say that to our slaves. Wait, so the ones we just led in an exodus down the side of a mountain you just heartlessly murdered? Yes. Yes, that's what I was saying. Biden, the bad guys.

I thought they were... He says, as he's holding a beer in his hand, a huge smile on his face. To clarify, it was the bad guys. It was the bad guys, not me. I love you guys. I thought it was a vicious strategic choice to draw us out to the other side of the battlefield and killing the slaves that they were bringing with them. It is an emotional tactic.

Because, to be fair, and I think you should be held to account for this, the people you just murdered are no longer slaves. That's true. They're more free than they've ever been. Semantically speaking, you didn't target anybody. That's true. You must have missed. I missed.

I killed nine slaves, but fortunately there were no slaves behind us. There were only three men. Matthew, why are you not on the legal counsel for Stormy Daniels right now? This is incredible legal speak. Amazing. You make Michael Avenatti look like Michael Cohen. That's pretty good it's good thank you nine michaels nine of them are dead deadzo i i object

i want that straight from the record and you have to just hear like ah the screaming women and children gruesome women and children first uh they were all women and children at the time. No, but I mean just... No, but you don't know. You'll have to see. Whoever survives can go back and pick through the wreckage of bodies.

As one of the slaves died, did he accidentally throw the hope knife backward and stab someone else in the face? That poor guy. Oh, he's dead. I mean, the other ones that are alive took damage as well. So some of them could be bleeding out.

Some of them, maybe they could be saved. You don't know. This combat, maybe it's far from over. This might be a three-up combat. I don't know. Really? What I do know is you haven't seen what's been going on with that woman. That haggie looking crone witchy woman

a witch a woman that would be sweet if t Troy hadn't just murdered a bunch of innocent people What has she been up to This whole time She just been sitting back there Buffing herself What is she what does she do Just stabbing herself With steroids

Juicing Her butt's just covered With Just stabbing herself with steroids Just juicing She was back there juicing Her butt's just covered with Sores from all of the Hyperdemic needles Lork roll a Perception check Is it a

Poison or a spell like ability Not yet We're having fun 39 You hear just beyond the mist or a spell-like ability? Not yet. Ah, we're having fun. 39. You hear just beyond the mist in front of you where you assume the cold rider is still atop one of the woolly rhinoceroses, this voice in the mist,

like very faintly, like talking to herself maybe. It's like, My sisters have the privilege of sitting at the right hand of the queen. If I am able to reign triumphant here, I will join them as well. And then out of the mist, she comes running at you. Oh, no. With a touch attack. No way. No way.

Yes way. How did she see through the mist? 27 against Touch AC. I am completely covered in mist. Yeah, that's a hit. Doesn't seem to do any damage per se. Someone needs you to roll a fortitude save. Oh, God. Come on, man. These saves are astounditude save. Oh, God.

Come on, man. These saves are astoundingly low. Joe, roll like me, not like you. Please. You know what? I'm going to pull out the big dog here. This is from Denver. Skids meet up in Denver.

Yes. He brought me a die from Denver, sort of orange, yellowish die that supposedly always rolls well when you really need it to. I have a funny feeling about this Fortitude save. You've built this one up. 18. DC. 17. Yeah!

Denver! This one goes out to Denver! Let's go, Broncos! Mile high, baby! She was casting a spell known as Poison on you. Oh, that girl is... Which would have been 1d3 con every round for six rounds. Oh, that's bad.

You would have had a chance to roll a fortitude every round, but I mean... So I'm only plus six fortitude. So that was a 12 on the die. That die came up huge. DC 17. Oh, baby. That's amazing. That is something else.

But now, right in your face. So creepy. Is this woman here. Oh, God. Hideous. Hideous. Hideous. She's so creepy.

Gross. With the real witchy woman. She just grows out and touches you with her long fingernails, her long, gross fingernails. Blue skin, big, big, long nose, sharp, sharp teeth comes at you and touches you with something, but it isn't able to go through. It is now Kate Meguchi, the gnome. Okay. She is going to use another key point and spend it on

a key flurry. Key flurry? Yeah. Which gives her an extra attack in a flurry of blows attack, which is what she's about to do on this rhino. On the rhino. Amazing. So she has three attacks. She's still fighting defensively, but

she has three attacks at her maximum bonus. And don't forget, attack number one has an extra plus two from Cat Benatar. Right. Okay. Also your flanking. And a plus two for flanking. Oh, great. Okay.

So plus four. Let's roll the first attack. Okay. And for all three, she's going to use all three of those max attacks, she's going to use Elemental Fist. Elemental Fist. Okay. So we'll see what happens. First attack.

All right, first attack. Natty 20. 32. All right. All right. All right. I've got this thing I can do. Once per round, the cold rider can attempt a ride check to negate one hit on its mount.

So I'm going to try a ride check. You can do a ride check while it's grappled. I think it's just... It's an immediate action. Yeah. You're allowed to do immediate action even while grappled. And you can move them out with your knees. You don't need two hands.

And I rolled A 25 So the hit goes through Okay there you go Awesome So it's Seven points

Of regular damage Okay And with When her fist Like strikes The rhino There is a flash And like a thunderclap

As this electrical burst Happens When it makes contact and she does 11 points of electricity damage. Oh my god. Nasty. Alright, first attack hits. Okay. Alright, second attack.

26. Yep. That's a hit. And same thing, 7 points of regular damage, 9 points of electricity. Okay. Third attack, still elemental fist. That's a miss. Alright, so that. Nine points of electricity. Okay. Third attack. Still elemental fist. That's a miss. All right.

So that's a waste of the elemental fist. Fourth attack. Four attacks. Thirteen. Fifth attack. What is going on? All right. It blows.

Twenty-one. Twenty-one is a hit on the fifth attack. Okay. And every single damage I've rolled three. That is seven more points of normal damage seven normal nice dude beautifully done oh this thing just comes up so she's like the hits moving just just like moving like crazy just like with this maximum efficiency of effort just like whack whack and like kicks and like the you know the base for palm and just like whack whack whack whack whack

Like at the back of this thing's legs Unbelievable it's just buckling under the pressure of these attacks From this tiny little powerful Gnome Feyraza you're up Here's what I'm going to do I want to move this thing I have Grappled so I have to roll to maintain the grapple

Right and I think I can just And try and reposition it I'm not doing reposition I'm just moving to maintain the grapple, right? Roll me up. And I think I can just move. And try and reposition it. I'm not doing reposition. I'm just moving myself and the target up to half my speed. I'm not repositioning it. I'm moving with it. Alright, so a successful grapple allows you to do that if you succeed. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. Alright. Yeah, I think

you only get the roll if he's like, if she's putting you in a particularly hazardous position. Right. I consider all positions to be hazardous. Well, I will tell you that... Being off the mount is hazardous. Well, I will tell you that the ultimate goal is to throw you off the side of the cliff.

But, right, I can't get that. I can't get that far with my movement. One problem at a time. All right, see if you maintain the grapple. Natural 19. Oh, yes! And you get a bonus. Oh, nice.

I mean, what are we talking here? Oh, forget it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You've maintained the grapple. So she... So Verazza has it in her claw. Now, mind you, when you maintain the grapple, you can do damage, but then you move it.

I'm pretty sure whenever you maintain a grapple, you do damage with the... You automatically deal your natural attack damage. All right. And then you can move it. Unless you have to pick one of the two. I'm not sure. Well, it's 11 points of damage if that's true. But my goal is to move it.

So Farazza, with her claw, like, dug into this cold rider. He's going to rip him off the saddle and start dragging him across the mountain pass towards the cliff. Unbelievable. Wow. Awesome. That's so cool. Unbelievable. Oh, awesome. That's so cool. Unbelievable. Oh, poor

Troy. But that would kind of provoke from the rhino. Yes. Kind of. Alright, so if you chose to do the move, you can't inflict the damage. Okay, good. Yeah, I wanted to do the move. Just checking to make sure. Okay. You sure you want to just inflict the damage? No, I'm sure. Alright. But I provoke from the rhino.

Provoke from the rhino. You sure do! The just inflict the damage? No, I'm sure. All right. But I provoke from the rhino. Provoke from the rhino. You sure do. The rhino gores you. All right, so the rhino is going to try to gore you. Come on, Natty Twanzo. Oh, 30. Okay. 30, bro.

This is going to be bad. This is going to be bad. Oh, one max. It's going to be 23 points of damage Ouch Ouch Just With it's big horn

And honk if you horned me Oh Write it down That's good Alright Feyrazo So you start Pulling this guy Towards the cliff

But we can't use it Cause we already used That pun Oh honk if you horned me That's right Oh that's right Oh well I'll give you the one. That's right. Oh, that's right. Oh, well. Just say it a bunch more times in the episode.

All right. It's like SNL. Like every few seasons we can reuse it. It is now the second episode in a row of this combat. I'm pretty sure we are at the top of round four. Baron, you are right next to Feyraza and this guy running away towards the cliff. What do you want to do?

Baron wants to take pot shots of that sumbitch as he runs off the mountain. That's what Baron's going to do. Let me see where you're standing here. I mean... Right there. Yeah, it has that two-handed weapon so it doesn't provoke and you are... Yeah, you can fire away. Go for it. Rapid

fire. Yeah. That is a hit. That is going to be 20 points of regular damage and one point of fire. And it goes unconscious. Oh, wow. Unconscious. Okay, so I get a grip point back. So I'm going to go shoot again. What was the damage

again? 21 total. 21 total, one total. 21 total. One point of fire damage. Okay. And that guy... So, yeah, it falls limp in favor of his arms. It's weird and undead, so I'm going to take one more shot for good measure. It's not undead.

It's not undead. Well, it looks undead. It's also not weird. Also a hit. Don't be judgy. It's pretty weird. Exactly the same amount of damage and fire. So 20 points of regular damage, one point of fire damage.

And I'm going to take the final attack against the rhino with a 50% missed chance. Okay. Don't roll a one. Come on, buddy. Roll a one. Missed fire. All right. Not a missed fire, but it is a 39 on concealment.

Oh, that is a 39. That concealment's been killing you. Oh, and I got to thank Judoka Jen for sending me this lovely little dice roll. Oh, that's gorgeous. It is beautiful, and I've been rolling great except for the concealment. If you could send me one that could make me pass concealment automatically like Joe does with his element of accuracy, I'd love that. Yeah, you just got to spend a ninth level feet on that, buddy. Well.

Is the thing dead in my arms? In my claws? As far as you know, it feels pretty dead. It is completely limp. I hate when he does that. So, I mean, you think everything's fine, Matthew. I don't know what the real question is. Knowledge nature.

Tracks in every direction. There are tracks everywhere. And it is now Lork's turn. Lork, you've got this gruesome-looking hag right up in your biz. Yeah. What do you want to do? Lork is going to say, Cat to me!

Attack! And Cat is going to charge. Ah, you're going to pull Cat back. Okay. Yeah, take the first action there and charge at this creature. Oh, no, the rhino, unless it has combat reflexes. Right. Does the rhino have combat reflexes?

My, all of my rhinos do. Oddly enough. Convenient. That is a typical rhino trait. Evidently, you've never played a rhino, Joe. They all have combat reflexes. Go for it. All right. Weird deja vu. So a charging bite, that all have combat reflexes. Go for it. All right.

Weird deja vu. So a charging bite that's a 22. 22. So sorry. That's going to be a miss. Okay. This is bad business. Well, it's not like you're literally at the edge of a cliff.

Is this creature... Uh-huh. Can I roll... We don't know that this creature's fey yet, right? No, you don't have that information. All right. Can I roll a knowledge nature to see if it is fey? Sure.

16. It does not appear to be fey. You're not 100% sure. It seems to be very earthy It reminds you a lot of feyraza Reminds you a lot of iwiga too Can't quite put your finger on it But there's no reason for you to believe it's fey

To see if it's humanoid Yeah, absolutely That is a 14 14 It is humanoid and I should point out I'm using the wrong base it's a large creature

oh my god dude that changes everything it's a large creature so then Cap Benatar provoked Cap Benatar did provoke but I'm gonna skip it because I did not have the large base out there so large creature large oh okay I'm going to skip it because I did not have the large base out there. Large creature. Large.

Oh. Wow. Okay. But not a giant subtype. Not giant subtype. Just a large. Just a large. A weapon in hand or no?

No. Just these gross claws and sharp fangs. Gross claws and sharp fangs. All right. This is a dicey situation. Let me tell you fangs. All right. This is so... This is a dicey situation. Lork is going... Let me tell you right now.

It's not good. Yeah. No, it's not good. Lork is going to take a five-foot step away from the cliff. Just slightly. Sure. He can't get far away from the cliff because he really wants to load this crone full of arrows.

So he's going to step back. Quite a nickel for every time Joe said that. He's going to step back. I had a nickel for every time Joe said that. He's going to step back. He's going to reach into his quiver. Okay. Quivering as he does so. Quivering as he does so. He's going to pull out a plus one human bane arrow.

Oh. Oh, wow. Which he has had forever. For a long time. Forever. Plus one human bane. Plus one human bane arrow. Now, here's the thing.

Does it appear humanoid? Sure. Is it human? Might not be. Yeah. But it doesn't seem particularly vulnerable to fire for him. So he's going to see if anything comes of a plus one human bane arrow. Fire away.

So there's a lot of math here now to do with this. What kind of weapon are you wielding here? The longbow. What kind of longbow? Just a plain old longbow? A magical longbow? It's a black arrow. Yeah, it's a black arrow.

It's a plus one giant's bane longbow. Okay. Plus one giant's bane longbow. Yes. All right. Am I asking too many questions? Am I making you nervous? With all my queries?

I got to be honest. I'm a little nervous. Yeah? All right. He's going to step back. He's going to do a deadly aim rapid shot. Okay.

I'm just going to give you non-human Bane numbers and then you tell me. I prefer those numbers. This sucks. Sorry. Give me one second. going to give you non-human bay numbers and then you tell me I prefer those numbers this sucks don't worry if you miss that arrow will never be found it's going right off the cliff it changes course and hits the

slave it's like Guardians of the Galaxy volume 2 where he's just whistling the air all around it's a slave seeking missile so I was thinking of It's like Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 where he's just whistling the arrow all around. It's a slave-seeking missile. A slave-seeking missile. I was thinking of the Patriot Arrow from Robin Hood Mettentights. Oh, that's a classic. I love that movie.

All right. Pulls out. Heard that coming a mile away. All right. Pulls out this human-bane arrow and fires. That's a 28 to hit. Now, let me ask you, is she in the mist? I think I can see her.

If I can, I'm happy to roll. How about a 20% mist chance? Okay. Because I feel like she's right on the edge of that. 59. Okay. That is a hit. That is a hit.

Don't worry about the human vein. It does not come into effect. All right, so he's going to do 11 points of damage. Okay. Seeing that doesn't change anything, boom, reaches back in, now pulls out a flaming damage. Okay. Seeing that doesn't change anything, boom, reaches back in, now pulls out a flaming arrow. Okay. And he's going to do another shot.

Also hits. Same exact roll. Natty, 16. 84 on concealment. Okay. 11 points of regular, 4 points of fire. Nice. Ooh, all right.

11 regular, 4 fire. One more shot. This one, we're going to need a natural 20 here, boys. Come on. Come on, man. Come on, Joe. Gonna need a natural Twanzoni. Twanzo, Twanzo, Twanzo. That's a miss. And a ton of damage too, but a miss. Oh, no.

You know what happened, Skid? I forgot it was him rolling. Oh, right. That's what it was. That's what it was. I forgot. Yeah, so yeah, that's it. That's gonna be his turn. Oh, so if she has reach, he's only 10 feet away. Uh-huh.

So on that first attack, did that provoke? Oh, it sure did. I was wondering when you were going to let me take my attack of opportunity. Yeah, so he's going to spend his trick to make that not happen. Okay, what is this trick? This trick you speak of. Defensive bow training. So we can avoid attacks of opportunity.

And you can take a full round attack action with that trick? All attacks until the start of your next turn do not provoke all ranged attacks. Huh. Until the start of your next turn. Wow. Very cool. So yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wait for it.

I just was like, I wanted a description if her arms are really long or if, you know, she's just, she doesn't do anything. Right, right, right. All right, that's fair. That's very fair. It is now my turn. Oh, jeez. My turn to play. Both of my cold riders are still alive.

The one that has been hiding in the mist nearest you, O'Brien, and Cat Benatar, now comes out of the mist. Can't charge, courtesy of volcanic mist or whatever the hell that spell is. Volcanic storm. I should have used that on the slaves. Volcanic mist sounds really refreshing, though. Yeah, it sounds like a really aggressive energy drink. Try new Mountain Dew Volcanic Mist. It's exfol a new Mountain Dew flavor. Yeah, it sounds like a really aggressive energy drink. Try new Mountain Dew volcanic mist. It's exfoliating.

It's like lava in your mouth. All right. Now, this creature we know because you very specifically said, Matthew, that Heather was not in the range of this magical burst. So five feet of movement. It is now out of difficult terrain. However, it cannot charge, so it just, bibbidi-bobbidi-boop, moves up. And I think it's gonna do some damage on

old Cat Benatar. Ugh. Oh, this is interesting. Now that I've moved out of the mist, I can attack Cat Benatar or Lork. It's just so shitty, because I want to do a charge and I can't. Nicely done, Ferraza.

Nice job. Ferraza. I'm going to gore Cat Benatar. Let's do a gore. Get the gore out of the way. And then I'll think about what I want to do with the cold rider. Natty 18 on the gore. That'll do it.

Cat Benatar. This is going to be some damage, buddy. This is going to be 23 points of damage. The same that Feyraza took. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Now this cold rider is going to do something fun. Or he's just going to attack.

Yeah, the second thing. With his glaive. Probably just attack with his glaive. Let me ask you this, Joe. What are you wearing for armor? Let's not get into, like, sexual stuff. Joe, what are you wearing? I'm talking a husky voice.

Who are you wearing? Who are you wearing? Well, Troy, I'm wearing a cold weather outfit. voice. Who are you wearing? Well, Troy, I'm wearing a cold weather outfit. No, I'm wearing plus two brawling leather armor. Brawling?

Oh, right. I forgot the brawling armor is garbage. If we survive, I can resize it for the gnome. Right. Alright, alright. That's pretty good. I thought that was a good idea, and that ended up backfiring. That's pretty good.

All right, well, you've left me in a bit of a pickle here. Ah, because you wanted me wearing metal? I would have preferred if you were wearing metal. Yeah! He's a stealthy elf now, baby. But instead, you are not. So it's just going to swing its glaive at you, and God help you if I roll a natural 20. God help you.

Can I give Troy a bottle cap to roll against? I would love a bottle cap. No one ever gives me a bottle cap. I'm not fucking with you, Joe. I'm so sorry. I just want to take care of your daughter when you're dead. All right. Not a natural 20, but still a natural hit.

25 to hit. That is a hit. All right. Let's talk about damage. We're going to do 13 points of regular damage. Are you taking the blessing I put on you at the beginning of the battle into account? Shield of faith. Shield of faith.

Yeah. Plus two. Still 25. Still hits. I'm wearing leather armor, buddy. Brawling armor. It's so good. All right.

Let's go. 13 regular. Five cold. This icy glaive just Rub-a-boom Comes down on you It's pretty hard Only can do that one attack

Because it moved more than 5 feet Wait, didn't Sir Will do full round attacks After Lexington moves? No, no, no Sir Will just did Lance ride-by attacks Lance Basses Alright, and the other cold rider. And the other cold rider. What does the other cold rider want to do, Matthew?

Be unconscious? Just sitting there in your hands. Yeah, it just feels very, very cold in your hands. Extremely cold. Hmm. And moist, too. Moist. Now that it's unconscious.

Ooh. And it is the hag's turn. Joe took off his headphones, put them right back on. My ears are getting sweaty. I was like, I need a little break. Is this the same pawn you used for Uyghur? It is. It is.

I kind of want to call her Big Uyghur. Big Uyghur? I like that. Big Uyghur style? I'll go with it. Big Uyghur style. Yeah, I forgot it was a large creature until just now. I love it when you call me Big Uygy style. I'll with it. Big Wiggy style. Yeah, I forgot it was a large creature until just now. I love it when you call me Big Wig.

Throw your hands in the air if you a true player. What do I want to do here? No one's hands went up. Nope. Against old Joe O'Brien. Oh, that one's a good one. I could do that. That's kind of fun.

I know. You know that I have terrible saves with everybody standing there. I could do that as well. Plus six on fortitude, bro? That is bad. Well, also remember I'm level nine. You got it. You got it

bad. Oh, you're only level nine, huh? You know, if you come out of this alive, buddy, you might still be level nine. I would take level nine over death. She knows ahead. I prefer to still be level nine. And she kind of reaches out over the cliff wall. And you see winds from down below, like swirling from the valley below towards her hands.

towards her hands and she encircles herself in these winds like a cloak and just providing her with this crazy amount of wind all around her body and you think to yourself how the hell am I going to fire a ranged projectile at her now? Is that a spell?

Did she roll a defensive casting? Oh, because of Cat Benatar? Yes. Because of Cat Benatar? Don't laugh uh oh dc 21 and i rolled a 21 oh that's great cast offensively nailed it oh man so she just encircles herself with these wins a defensive maneuver but a good one bought another round for us. Let's do this. It is now. Come on. We got this. Maguchi the gnome. Okay. So she sees what's happening with this hag and she abandons the rhino and runs over to

attack the witch. The huge witch. And we've already established you have plenty of room to get over there. Yeah. And she's going to take an attack. All right. 20% miss chance. But go ahead.

Like a flying kick? Yeah. Yeah. And she's going to do elemental fist with that also. Alright, 20% miss chance, but go ahead Like a flying kick? Yeah Angie's gonna do Elemental Fist with that also Okay, so that is A 28 to hit And what was the concealment? Let me do concealment

21 or higher, you're good Yeah, 30, I'm good Alright, so that's a hit And that is 10 points of regular damage. And boom. It's ten points of electrical damage. Oh, God. Ten points of electrical.

Okay. And what kind of damage is this? The physical damage. Bludgeoning. The physical damage is bludgeoning. Yeah, bludgeoning. Well damage is bludgeoning well and it counts as magic if it counts as magic for the purposes of bypassing cold silver uh for a cold iron silver uh and magic oh my god all right so that you just see this gnome come to a flying

kick in midair she moves like qui-gon j Jinn and Obi-Wan and Phantom Menace. It's just like, boom! She just moves out like that. The best part of that movie was when they invaded the ship and they destroyed those things. Yeah, it was pretty good. Alright, I forgot, so I'm going to move in the initiative order a little here. That woolly rhinoceros just doesn't have a

rider anymore, but it's still going to attack. Did he try to take an attack of opportunity against me when I left? Oh. I'll try. Sure. Thank you for asking. You can try. That's probably gonna be a miss. 16.

Yeah, that is a miss. However, can I do a charge on whoever is nearest? Is that Baron? That's Baron. I think I'm gonna do something known as a powerful charge. Is that Baron? That's Baron. Oh, you know, I think I'm going to do something known as a powerful charge. What is that? That means if I hit with this gore, it does 4d8 plus 18 damage.

Oh, no. Look at Grant's face. Oh, he's not happy at all. Neon green. Oh, think of this as a natty twanzo. You're due, too. Natty 17. That is going to be a 31, I believe, Grant.

Is it a spell or spell-like ability, Troy? It certainly is not! Spell or spell-like gore. Oh, my God. 4d8. All right, not too bad on the first one there. Let's see here. Oh, there comes the 8 and the 7.

Oh! 20. 38 points of damage! Oh, damn it! This thing just lowers its head and just... Boom! Lifts you off the ground a little bit as the spike goes into your body. Lifts you up in the air.

38 points of damage! Rips through your torso. Rips right through... I think you're dead. You're now prone and flying? Prone a little bit. Flying through the air right off the cliff. Unbelievable round for the woolly rhino.

Troy, look me in the eyes. Look me in the eyes right fucking now. I'll rip your goddamn head off. I think he's serious, Troy. You want to provoke him? I'm the fucking rhino in this room right now, goddammit. Prove it. Prove it, Grant. Prove it. Feyraza, you are now up. You just see

Grant, but Baronon just be lifted in the air by this you've got a wet cold rider in your hand can i do a knowledge nature about this thing to see if it's i want maybe i want to know stuff i want to know if it's really dead yeah sure roll well 20 20 i can give you a little

info the info that you want to know is that it probably had some sort of ability to come back, but it's Baron did so much damage to it. Good call, Grant. I knew it had some

shit. Wow. And so Grant gets a bottle cap. Oh, that's awesome. Grant! Wow. A Baron cap. You should have caught that right in my hand, baby. And you know that this thing is just melting in your hands. Oh, it's made of magical ice? It's like the weapon and the armor and the body of it itself is just melting in your hands now that it's dead. So Grant gets a bottle cap for ruining my really cool thing where I was going to toss it off the side of the cliff.

If I was Grant, I would give you the bottle cap, but that's up to Grant. I think he should. Matthew, I think you can go drink a glass of Shut the Fuck Up. We have some in the fridge. Is that one of those Kentucky craft beers?

No, that's a God. Mama's a long God. Slap your mouth, child. All right, let's do this. You know. Whenever Grant has a joke that he knows is not landing he just finishes it immediately with all right let's do this that's my sign to troy or joe to edit it out okay so farazza is going to free action release the grapple okay and then she's going to charge at the other cold rider. Oh, yeah.

But war cats have pounce. So she's actually going to pounce at the cold rider. And you can do this with B-shape 3. B-shape 3 allows pounce. Okay, awesome. So I can take all of my attacks. Gross. And you're attacking specifically the cold rider, not the woolly rhino.

The rider. The rider has to be so close to death I don't care for this Okay, first attack Come on, Matthew Natty 19, 26 Is that a critical threat? On a natural attack? No, claw is 20

I'm looking right here at my claw That is Six points of damage. Okay, good. Shitty damage. This is good for me. And a free attention grab. God, do it. Do it. Now remember... Okay. Ooh.

25. It is grappled. Yes! Yes! So are you. So now if you want to continue to attack, you take it at a, what, a minus two or a minus four? Minus two, but... I'm going to put the grappled condition on here, and then we'll see what happens. Okay. Okay, so then...

I can't believe you're grappling my rod. You're just left and right. Yeah, it's minus two. Okay, so I'm going to take other claw. Other claw? Second claw. Let's see what you got. Miss, miss, miss, miss.

19 to hit. 19 is a miss. Oh, wow. Okay, and then the bite. Okay, bite it. Miss. That miss, miss. 19 to hit. 19 is a miss. Oh, wow. Okay, and then the bite. Okay. Bite it. Oh, that's a miss.

All right. But it is grappled. Nicely done. God, you really screwed my pooch. Round five. I did not. Get out of my pooch. It is Baron's turn. Baron, you're red hot over there. Baron looks into the rhino's eyes and says, I'm going to skin you, turn you into a rug,

and sell your ground-up horn to Tien Xia, boy. You're earning that cap today, buddy. So Baron takes a five-foot step back. Okay. And we'll begin firing up close and deadly rapid shots. Come on, dude. The first attack is absolutely a hit. Yes.

That is 18 points of regular damage, 10 points of precision damage for 28, and two points of fire damage for 30 total. And the rhino falls. Yes. Two down. Oh, falls. Two down. Oh, nice. Two down. I could continue firing, but it's like three range increments away, so Baron is going

to stop firing and wait for the next round. Awesome. Okay, so Baron stops firing as the Rhino falls. Beautiful, dude. Look at the battlefield right now. Now everyone is surrounding The last cold rider on the rhino

And this large Hag All it would take is a little push All it takes is a little push for everybody over there All it takes is a little push is right Matthew What you gonna do All it takes is a little push is right Um

Yeah this large creature thing is really that's frustrating when it's surrounded by wind attempting a bull rush maneuver that seems unlikely to to succeed um yeah lork is very in a precarious position here

with his back to the cliff uh so he is going to attempt to tumble out of this situation. He's going to attempt to go between the hag and the rider. Oh. And sneak through Cat Benatar's space and away from the edge of the cliff so that he can't be pushed off of it. Wow.

So he's not moving through an enemy's space. He's moving between them. We're still going to attempt an acrobatics check to move through it without provoking. If he fails, he's going to provoke. All right, so it's acrobatics against both of their CMDs. Three of their CMDs. It's the Rhino and Big Wigga,

because the guy's got full. Oh, that's right, the Kohlrider can't. Oh, yeah, that's good. All right, it's CMD plus 5, I don't have my No, it's just CMD I'm not going through their space I'm going through Captain Attar's space It's a small window, kind of need a natural 20

I would assume here No, that's not going to do it 16 Oh, so they both get an attack You know what, I think taking attacks right now And getting on the non-cliff side is going to be better. Oh, wait. No, no, no.

You're right. Okay. All right. Woolly Rhino goes to gore you. Ooh, 17. Miss. Yes. Okay.

Sweet. Dodges it. Wow. I really wanted to lay out some damage there. That was a good one. And let's say the hag. Let's say the hag rolls a 30. What do you mean, let's say? Let's say the hag. Let's say the hag rolls a 30. What do you mean, let's say?

Hag rolled a 30. I'm not even joking. I rolled a 30. Oh, my God. With her bonus, a 30. Every time we say hag, all I can think of is when you would write in your friend's yearbooks in middle school, hags. What? What are you talking about?

Have a good summer. H-A-G-S. We never know. When I was a kid, we took the time to write out the whole phrase. I didn't write in anyone's yearbook because I didn't have any friends. Oh, Matthew. Oh, my God. And the people who did were like, you know, when you were in the class and everyone's

like, let's sign each other's yearbooks. And they're like, all right, do everybody's. And it was just a thing. And they were just like H-E-G-S exclamation point we just we drew beards and dicks

and colored out somebody's tooth in the yearbook get Milwaukee tooth and a dick in his ear but you know maybe I grew up a little different

oh my god Catholic school oh my god have a good summer with that dick in your ear different. Oh, my God. Catholic school. Oh, my God. Have a good summer. With that dick in your ear. She's playing so much. What? Some trouble here?

Must have a dick in your ear. Hope you get that dick taken care of this summer. Holy shit. Fifteen points of damage. Wow. Now the question is, does it want to grab you? Oh, the hag. Gets that free grab.

Oh, I didn't even think of that. I think it's been a long time since she's had a lover up close and tight against her chest. With a free grab. And then to throw him off the cliff. She could maybe throw him off the cliff. You got to take that grab. Here comes the grab. And then to throw him off the cliff. She could maybe throw him off the cliff. You got to take that grab. Here comes the grab. Got to.

Doesn't count. Not in the bowl. What? That's what I say. Was it low? It's equally low. 24. Does not grab.

Let me see if I get a bonus to my grab. Won't matter. Add four to it. You still won't do it. Yeah, 26. Nope. Natural two on the ground. No deal, buddy.

Dude, that would have been game. Yeah. Oh, that would have been game over. But you know what deflects those kind of evil attempts? A shield of faith, baby. Yes. Oh, yakasha. That little conversation that Baron and Lork had, that may have saved his life.

Yeah, for real. Those Inquisitor levels, man. You know what? I'm done self-buffing. The power of the gods. I'm done self-buffing. I'm us-buffing. Us-buffing.

From here on out. Nice. Lauren Buffett over here. Love him. All right. Now, you failed miserably, and you still get to move through, though. Yep. You just take those attacks.

Yeah, you take those attacks, but I still get through to the other side, and he's going to take one shot, one deadly aim shot at the rider. Okay. He's grappled right now. Well, yeah, I can't shoot at her. So he's going to take one deadly aim shot at the rider. I'm now kind of back in the mist.

So he's going to roll for, is it 20% here, 50% for you, tell me. You're in the mist. It is not. But are you more than five feet away? Yes. 50% mischance. 50% mischance.

Okay, so that is a hit, but miss on concealment. Roll it again. I get one re-roll. Shades of Barren. With my elven accuracy. Miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss. Come on, buddy. 87.

Yes! Got a low. This feat is working out. You're in flair country, buddy. 87. Yes. Got a low. This beat is working out. You're in flare country, baby. And he does 14 points of regular and six points of fire. And it falls off the right. You're shooting at it. That was my one because I had to move.

14 regular, six, fire. Okay. Yes. Oh, man. He dives through Cat Benatar's face, takes a claw across the back. It's like, ah! Flips, rolls up, pulls out the bow, one flame arrow. Boom.

Puts him down. Now he goes limp in your hands there, Ferraza. So Ferraza knows, and maybe Baron knows. Does anyone else know this knowledge? No one else knows it. Ferraza cares. You suspected she knows. Talking is free, this knowledge? No one else knows it. You suspected, she knows. Talking is free, but it is Cap Benatar's turn. Suspect what?

I'm sorry? That it can come back to life. Got it. No one else is going to know that. Cap Benatar? Cap Benatar is going to attack the witch woman. She was set on her, and she's just going to keep going at it. Full attack.

Full attack action. Full attack. Full attack action. Cat Benatar, no mercy. First attack, which is a claw, misses. Okay. Second attack, claw, 19, I'm assuming, misses. Get that crap out of here. Third attack, bite is a 27.

I'll allow that. I'll allow the 27 to go through. 27 goes through on Bite Town and does 10 points of damage. That's piercing damage? That is piercing, bludgeoning, and slashing. Take your whatever is worse. Oh, okay. It's all of them. Yeah, it is.

You've got molars. You've got incisors. You've got canines. 10 points of damage. All right. Very good. Nice. Cat.

What's that? And the tongue for bludgeoning. Did your part. Okay. Nice, Cat. Now, very good. Nice. Cat. What's that? And the tongue for bludgeoning. Did your part. Okay. Nice, Cat. Now. My turn. My turn to play.

My turn to play. Cat is also going to take a five-foot step. The rider, Limp, in Feyraz's hands comes back to life. Damn it! Oh, no. It still feels very, very weak. And it is in your fucking arms! This grapple!

You can try to break the grapple. I just died in your arms tonight. Joe just stood up and gave me 17 middle fingers. Okay, okay. This is brutal. Breaking the grapple is a standard action, right? I believe it is. Okay. Okay. This is brutal. Breaking the grapple is a standard action, right? I believe it is. Yup.

Yup. And I can't attack with my glaive because it's two hands. God. Do I try and cast a spell? How can you? Can you cast a spell? That have no physical component. No somatic components, right?

You can use one hand. It's a hard concentration. It's your C and B plus the spell level. Plus 15 or something. 10 plus the C and B plus the spell level. Nerdage. That's pretty nerdy. I don't know.

That might be too nerdy for Matthew. I think Matthew's going to leave. Okay. But he was so cool in high school. Damn it. That was middle school we were talking about. Oh, that's right. Faye Rice, what kind of armor are you wearing?

I'm a cat. Natural armor. Crap. I'm wearing... She's all natural, baby. I'm wearing wild armor, actually. You got metal teeth or anything? No.

Fillings? Any fillings? Any fillings? Any fillings? Be honest. Let me see your character sheet. They're all ceramic. You have a retainer? You're wearing a retainer.

Son of a tit. All right. I'm going to try and break the grapple. No. Yeah! All right. Ah, damn it! Oh, man.

Would he like to say anything? No. Talking is a free action. Would he like to say anything? No. Talking is a free action. I don't think you speak his language. I thought you would have had a cool, like, icy-sounding voice ready for these guys. Actually, he speaks Common, Elven, and Sylvan. Oh. But he chooses not to speak.

Out of protest. All right, the rhinoceros. You got Feyraza. All right, so it's going to go after Feyraza, obviously, because you're attacking its master. I just really want to hurt you badly, and I'm trying to think of the best way to do that. You're too large for me to trample. I'm bigger than it. Yeah, you're bigger than it.

Too close to charge. Too close to charge. Too cold to hold. They're called the Ghostbusters and they're in control. Now we got to get ourselves into control. Gotta, gotta get control. Gotta, gotta. You know, I wish I had that

Cyclops, like, burst of insight where I could just guarantee a natural 20 right now because that's the only way I'm going to do really significant damage. But you know what? It's coming at you with a gore there, Feyraza. I mean, what am I going to do? Just trample Cat Benatar? Who cares about Cat Benatar?

I do. Natural one. Yeah! That's what you get. That's what you get. Is it a named rhinoceros? All that Benatar negative energy. Damn it, natural one!

All right. The hag's turn. This windy hag turn This windy hag This windy hag This windy old hag Everyone knows it's windy Wait so It's a fumble right?

Only named creatures? No no no It's critical It's gonna fumble Oh everyone gets a fumble I forget Well you're the fumble guy I just

I thought you were Attempting a skill check No And I As he shifts his eyes Suspiciously Roll to confirm Well, you're the fumble guy. I just thought you were attempting a skill check. No. And I... As he shifts his eyes suspiciously. Roll to confirm. It only has one attack, so I don't have to roll to confirm.

So it's an auto fumble? Auto fumble, yeah. And you were attempting what, Tagore? A natural attack. A natural attack. You got those in your little spreadsheet, you jerk? Sure do, good buddy. Alright, this one is from Fred

in the Philippines. Hey, Fred. Oh, Philippine Fred! Philippines Fred! That's the right column. I know that guy. Yeah, I think he's been on Cannon 5. Fred from the Philippines writes in with tunnel vision. Ooh.

Your wild miss. Oh, this is actually. Ooh. Your wild miss. Oh, this is actually pretty cool. Your wild miss has driven you to redouble your efforts on the same target. For the next 1D4 rounds,

you must spend your actions attacking your current target. You cannot switch to a different target or retreat. A successful will save halves the duration. This sounds terrible.

Wow. Wow, that's bad for Freyraza. Yeah, well, halves the duration. That's terrible. Wow. Wow, that's bad for Feyraza. Yeah, well, I mean, she can... Yeah. Yeah. That's terrible. Will save is a 20 against Feyraza's AC. Fail.

Fail. So it's 1d4 rounds. I mean, pass. We'll only attack... Hey, there are plenty of situations where that would not be good. For four rounds, it can only attack Feyraza. It can only attack... Hey, there are plenty of situations where that would not be good. For four rounds. It can only attack Feyros. It can only attack Feyros.

I didn't need to roll that d4. I knew it was going to be... Well, think about it. It missed. It's furious. It's like, I will take you out. Yeah. So you've been goring pretty hard at about 23, 25 points in attack, right?

Yeah. How many hit points does Feyros have left? I'm not telling you. All right. All right. Everyone stop attacking the mammoth that means six all right it is uh it's the hag's turn and uh oh perfect setting to do this let me try to cast defensively first Oh, Nettie, 19! Cast offensively. I'm going to need... Oh, do you even get a reflex save? Yes. The Gnome, Lork, Benatar all roll a reflex save.

27. Half damage. 20 for Cat Benatar. Half damage. Natural 20 for Lork Irontusk. Wow, all half. Back flips. Damatar. Half damage. Natural 20 for Lork Iron Tusk. Wow. All half. Back flips.

Damage. Makes it look good. She just reels back and like out of her mouth releases a burst of barbed acid filled nettles at all of you. Oh, wow. Out of her mouth. Like, kind of like I'm thinking of the Green Mile when the flies came out of his mouth. Imagine that, but like acid-filled mouth.

Mouth oozy. Alright, so 6, 5, 11. So five points of regular damage, and then you're going to take acid damage next round. Actually, no. Were you all saved? None of you take acid damage. And actually, the gnome,

because she has improved evasion takes zero damage zero damage zero damage cat benatar takes zero damage what you all have improved evasion we all have evasion motherfucker all right there you go come on all the flip flop flip flop dodge out of the way wow she laid out a sweet spell that did nothing nothing oh my god that's the one save that's really good on Lork is reflex. Wow.

That's a good one. So Magooch just blocks it and so does Lork and Cat Benatar. Okay. Well, crap. It is Magooch's turn. We're just calling you Magoochie

for now. Okay. But you have time to role play. All right. She's going to do she's going to spend another key point to do another key flurry. C. All right. She's going to spend another ki point to do another ki flurry.

Crap sandwich. And on her three max bonus attacks, she's going to use the elemental fist again. Okay. Oh, boy. First attack. 29 to hit. That is a hit. Nice.

That is 10 points of regular damage And 16 points of electrical damage Oh, I like my goons No, no, no, no, wait 14 points of regular damage Oh, okay 14 points of regular damage And it counts as magic and silver

Sure, sure Alright, and yeah And 16 points of electrical Second attack Second attack That's a critical threat. Natural 19. What?

Oh, my God. Roll to confirm. Do it. No. Well, 20? 20 now. No confirm. Exploding die.

No. It was a 90-19. It was a 90-19. Oh, a 90-19. Okay. So that's six points of regular damage and 11 points of electricity. Six regular 11 electricity. Okay.

Crack die. Third attack. Miss. Another waste of one. Miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss. And final attack is a 24. That's a hit. Yeah.

Nice. And that is 12 points of regular damage And she falls unconscious Yes Oh my god Whack whack whack Like this

Elbow Knee Whack 11 hit points left Yes Beautiful 11 hit points left Ronda Rousey in here

Oh my god I can't believe this Alright Beautiful It is It is Fey Rousey's turn Oh my god I can't believe this Alright Beautiful It is It is Fey Raza's turn Unless you're moving there Magooch Oh no you

Five foot step Or you want to stand right up in the business Oh no that was full Full attack action So I just You stand where you are Okay Fey Raza

Fey Raza's gonna roll Oh wait Excuse me Oh yeah you killed the woolly rhino It's alright Fey Raza She's gonna roll roll and maintain the grapple. Okay. 28.

28 against its CM Dizzle. No, against its reflex. Yes, of course it's against its CM Dizzle. Yeah, that's maintained. Okay, and then Farazza's going to roll acrobatics just for the hell of it to try to avoid the attack of opportunity from the rhinoceros. Okay, go for it. Probably going to fail to avoid the attack of opportunity from the rhinoceros okay uh go for it probably gonna fail but come on maybe fails yeah come on gore where's the natty

he's so excited he rolled out of the bowl he granted it oh granted it that's fine all right here we go oh that is gonna be be a 28. That hits me. Yeah, doggy! This is going to be brutal. Oh, there's a max damage on one of those guys. 25 points of damage. Oh, man. That hurt.

And yet, Farazza is going to take this guy and attempt to throw him off the cliff. Throw him off the cliff. I love it! Is he conscious at this point? He is still conscious. So he gets a free attempt to off the cliff. Throw him off the cliff. I love it! Is he conscious at this point? He is still conscious. So he gets a free attempt to break the grapple.

Free attempt to break the grapple. Oh, boy. Oh, man. This would be awesome. Break the grapple of a war cat. And I'm going to throw in a bottle cap on this. Oh, yes.

Beautiful. Yes. Matthew, get your hands off my bottle cap. I said that once. You couldn't have it. All right. Matthew's got him stocked up. How many caps how many caps do you have This is from A&A

Ah okay Fail and fail Fail city I think Rod just tosses him off the cliff Throw the coal right at him Off the cliff I love being that giant tiger Flinging this thing off the side of this

cliff. Justice is coming back to life. Troy, are we going to calculate the fall damage? You said several thousand feet. How many D6 damage would that be? It's very very dead. Fast healing five and that brought it back to one hit point and now you completely killed it.

Nice. It is dead. It took me a minute. It is the final round here. Baron, all that's left is this woolly rhinoceros and this hag, which has fallen unconscious. What do you want to do? Oh, jeez. That was subconscious there. You're saying that this is the final round.

Sure is the final round, buddy. Baron's going to move within range of this guy. Yep. And he's going to just take a quick shot at that rhinoceros, which I think is a mammoth. I'm going to spend a grip point and get up close and deadly because I still have all my grip points because every shot I fire kills one of your lame monsters, Troy. Go for it. Let's see what happens.

All right. That should be a hit with a 24 against touch AC. Yes. That is going to be 21 points of regular damage, seven points of precision damage, and one point of fire damage. Okay. Rhinoceri.

And that's all you got? Or did you have to move into position? I had to move in order to do that, so that is the end of Baron's turn. Lork, you're up. Lork is up. He's going to slide to the side, little five-foot step here to get out from behind.

Slide, slippity slide. Behind Cat Benatar. He's still within the mist, though, but he's trusting his elven accuracy, and he's going to do a deadly aim rapid shot at this rhinoceros. Come on, man. Try to finish it off.

That is a 17 to hit. 17 is a miss. 17 misses. Next shot is a 20 even. 20 even. That's a hit. Nice. 75 on concealment and maximum damage.

Yeah. 17 regular, 6 fire. Wow. 17 regular, 6 fire. Okay. Still alive. Oh, no. Come on. Come on, man. Big game hunting, baby. Big game 17 regular six fire. Okay. Still alive. Oh no. Come on. Come on man.

Big game hunting baby. Big game hunting last shot. Uh that is a 19 Please tell me that hits. That's a hit. Because I rolled a 100 on concealment. Oh my God. Zero zero zero. Wow. Uh another max damage

on the uh regular damage die. That's 17 regular for fire. Look where Firas is standing. Yep. My next action was to try and knock her straight off the cliff. Oh, my God. But you killed the rider. Yeah!

Woo! Woo! Oh, baby! Everyone is dead. The hag bleeds out. The cold rider is still falling. You have successfully won the battle. Woo! Yes!

You only lost nine slaves. Former slaves. So brutal. Former slaves. Nine former slaves. Nine freemen. Four more died during the battle. So a total of 13 altogether. They bled out from their wounds.

Oh, so you hit like 13. You're saying nine died in that first round. Nine died immediately when that hailstorm came. And then by the end of this battle, another four. 13 are dead. However, all the ones strapped to the wagon are still alive. Yeah. The mist dissipates.

And you look over where you saw that female half-orc. There's one, two, three, four, six, seven, eight, nine, like at least a dozen people chained up to this wagon. And the chains where the female half-orc

was tied up are empty. What? We'll see you next week. What? Damn it! You son of a bitch! That's just what I thought I knew

at the end of the episode would be. He yanks it out from under me again! Swoop, swoop, swoop, swoop. Swoop, swoop, swoop, swoop. Next week, she's standing right next to him. Yeah, exactly. She was invisible. I was in the mist.

Oh, man. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015. Giant Slayer and the Pathfinder Adventure Path are trademarks of Paizo. and are used with permission.