The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 159 - Blood From a Stone Shape

Episode Date: June 12, 2018

With the freed slaves safely on their way to Skelt, the heroes turn their attention to an as of yet unexplored area of the camp. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. I think we should act now. While they're off balance, don't give them a chance to get their bearings. The heroes seek to crush the giant's morale. We've dealt so many blows to them materially. If we could deal a blow to them spiritually, it might help seal the deal. And steal deep into the heart of Skirgard. I mean, that is the section of the camp you really haven't done a ton of recon on.

Yeah. They'll proceed with the utmost caution. Lorka's gonna do a perception at the door, listening, touching, seeing if he feels any vibration. Oh, this is wild. But when they detect a deeply unsettling presence... You've all known me a

long time, and I don't get shook easy. But I just felt some evil I've never even thought I'd come across in my whole life. It sent shivers down my spine. Steal yourselves, my friends. There may be no turning back. Did you tell them to prepare the next band of heroes for when we all die?

Yes, I told them to roll up. In the event of a T.P.K. Roll up new heroes. Average 11th level party to take over when we inevitably perish. The adventure continues. No! Now. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of the Glass Cannon Podcast. It's your boy Grant Berger, a.k.a. Baron Ashpeak.

There has been a ton going on in GCP Nation, and we have been giving you some really long intros lately to get you all up to speed, so I'm going to keep it short and sweet. Just in case you have no other means of getting information about the outside world besides this podcast, I want to let you guys know about our other weekly

podcast called Androids and Aliens. We play through a Starfinder adventure path called dead sons and it is a rootin tootin good time in space you still have time to get in from the very beginning and if you do i need you to make sure that you subscribe download rate and review on itunes it would mean the absolute world to all of us thank you so much for your continued support of the Glass Canon Network of Shows. Without further ado, please enjoy episode 159, Blood from a Stone Shape. Now my records could be wrong. They're not wholly accurate, But they're probably pretty close

I'm going to say Nine days ago You came into Skirgard You started out with some serious recon Let's figure out what's going on here After Feyraza did her flyover It was like This is too much for us to handle

We need to just kind of figure out what's going on. You determine that the watchtowers were unmanned at night. First Giants don't have darkvision. They're running the watchtowers. Let's go up there. Let's start disabling these signal fireworks. Then Lorik goes up in a tree, observes the lower camp and the upper camp, finds out their feeding schedule,

finds out that there's a little rift maybe between some of the groups in there. They're herding together lots of different giants, not unlike Minderhall's Valley, although this is a little more organized. You're still bringing in ogres with cyclops and trolls with frost giants and fire giants and saying get along and they're the most powerful ones that you've come into contact with strong personalities while also being the best fighters you see a pit towards the middle of the area with these stone giants that are just having target practice against dummies and slaves alike. You continue disabling fireworks in these watchtowers, and then one night

you almost get taken out by a frost giant who instead Pembroke charms, befriends. And this frost giant, Fijimon, gives you some intel on what's really going on. There are two tribes in particular in the lower camp that do not like each other. Lork goes into those camps and finds one is like worshipping

Urgothoa. And the other one is just a couple of hill giants banging. Banging. Banging to the sweet sounds of a Samson. Sweet sounds of Samson. Lork sets the two of them against each other. All hell breaks loose.

Eventually you make your way towards the upper portion of the camp, the northeastern portion. You see a frozen lake with a bunch of docks and a frost giant and a fire giant working with something coming out of this frozen lake. You find a building that you eventually discover to be a brewery. You go in there, take out the brewer, orphan his fox,

Merple. Our finest hour. Our finest hour. Mission accomplished. Right before that, though, Skirkotla herself comes out. Perhaps as a reaction

to the turmoil that Lork caused in the lower camp and tells everyone, be cool. We all got to be friends here. Pembroke and Feyraza fly over there and try and catch a glimpse of Skirkotla and her chief people.

She takes slaves, rips them apart, throws them into this burning effigy gives the rest as like a a present to these other people that are being sent presumably south wherever that is another thing you learn from figimon you eventually go and take out the stallion frost giant creatures you You free the slaves from the slave pen. You attempt to destroy the statue of Thremondir, but fail. Your spell's not strong enough

to fully do any damage to this magically warded ice sculpture. You fly over and create a stampede throughout the entire camp, killing frost giants and slaves alike. Go past the silo. We forgot all about the silo that you guys burned down

when Pembroke was almost taken out by a bear. You forgot the brewer, too. No, he didn't. No, I mentioned the brewer. He just talked about it. You did? Just now. Did you open your goddamn ears, Joe?

Pay attention, Joe. It was before the stallion things. He said it out of order. He said there was every orphan that Fox Merple. Orphan. Oh, oh, I got you. Aren't you taking notes? The burnt out hull of the silo provides a perfect place to sneak by on the way to the mess hall.

You go on there and take out two twin hill giant sisters and their lover, Kupanarth, the Atak, three arms, two alike. Thank you, Beatles. Did you say that in a, I couldn't understand what you just said. Thank you, Troy. Two alike. Thank you. Crystal clear. With all of this going on,

thank you crystal clear with all of this going on you use this opportunity to take out another group of frost giants guarding the slave pens and direct these slaves out of the camp and down the mountain your first time down the mountain in probably five days you've been keeping up there doing recon obviously also during this time pembrokebroke and Baron and Feyraza teleported back to the Cathedral of Minderhall twice. Once to do some resizing of a helm and once to return a couple slaves. Perhaps the beginning of a new generation of people living peacefully together in the new Minderhals Valley. And now you come down the mountain with all these slaves and you are attacked. You run into a hag, two cold riders, two woolly mammoths, more slaves. You take them out.

Slaves die. Freed men, freed women alike die in the process. You continue taking them down the mountain. You find some allies along the way. And now, the strongest of all those allies, a little female gnome named Nim Nim, has agreed to lead the expedition of these freed people out of Skirgard,

out of this area, back to Skelt, where Pembroke has set up a rescue party to hopefully meet them halfway, provided there are no Borrello encounters. Oh, God. Oh, boy. Jesus.

You take a look at the map here. I mean, I've X'd out on my map things that you have, you know, pretty well taken care of. There are certain things that you've gone into and haven't quite taken care of. There was a conversation very recently about the mines where Feyraza told Baron, like,

oh, let me tell you about the structures of the mines. And Baron was like, oh, that's not a good situation there. That's really shoddy construction. We could collapse those mines, maybe. You know? The statue of Thrimadere, you didn't really do anything to it. You pooped on some oranges.

That was about it. And then there are at least half a dozen or so other buildings and caves that haven't been explored at all. Yeah. I suggest we head

straight for the dire wolf caves just walk right in hello why is that any crazier than doing anything else well i mean i don't think there's any real giant leadership in the in the dire wolf caves but they don't have any money you don't know what's going on in the dire wolf cave. That's true. I was hoping that, well, I wasn't hoping this, but I was hoping that Troy was going to force our hand by killing Cat Benatar and forcing us to get him another animal companion. I'm trying, man.

I'm trying. Cat's a wily one. Her only discernible trait is when Skid plays drops. Troy, there's only one thing you can do to her that's your only option let's see first of all if that filth fever creature person she's a human being it's a free man horse person lived or died it was a centaur

50% chance wait wait wait it will die 51 and up it dies that's what you want right 51 and up it dies 86 yeah

oh it's worst possible result worst oh it's head's worst possible result worst oh it's head explodes oh no the worst possible for you worst possible result is the filth fever

spreads oh no no but hang on it's worst possible result for you are you sure yeah you said you said 15 upwards

you wanted wait but you say for me it's for the person you also said last episode fair enough that it was not communicable right but now the worst has happened so the last episode that it was not communicable.

Right, but now the worst has happened. It's the worst based on what you rolled. So you wanted him to die. So the worst possible result for you. I was on his side.

I think that one of us should have to roll a fortitude save for filth fever. Yeah. That handled him. He's instantly cured. That's what happened.

We'll say he died. Okay. Okay. In 86 though, you feel like, that's not not good we look at the body oh that's not good who touched who touched this guy you're probably a little more worried now just letting them go back maybe maybe a postule popped in the night landed right on Baron's thigh. His inner thigh? His sleep's in the nude.

Right next to diseased humans. In the relatively cold outdoors. The same guy that offered whiskey to a malnourished gnome. You know the good part

about... He's just wasted naked in the snow, just passed out. What do you got, a feel-a-fever? Want some whiskey? I'm sleeping next to you, but... The good thing about drinking on an empty stomach, though, is the only thing you can vomit is the whiskey you drank.

That's true. So it's not as bad. Great, you're not wrong. No. So the poor person dies. Damn it. And it stinks and it's festering throughout the camp. But meanwhile, Feyraza,

maybe as a gesture of goodwill to Lork, or maybe it's just something that Feyraza herself is really interested in doing, whether it has to do with her connection with Lork or her newfound ruminations that maybe there is another

chosen one. Does this have any link to it? Maybe. Maybe not. But I would assume she's probably taking everything a little more seriously. And so when she looks in the mirror, she sees something that doesn't quite make sense to her. She sees a young halfling boy sitting alone in what looks like a nicely furnished room.

It's almost like you're looking through a keyhole. His blonde hair. Can't quite make out his features. And then a pair of legs walk past. And the image fades away. We'll see you next week. Wow. Huh.

Well, I'm thinking, Sir Will, that's what I was thinking, but... But would I be able to scry into the past? Yeah. If he's a young boy. Maybe it, uh... signals got Yeah. If he's a young boy. Maybe it signals got crossed. Maybe he's youthening.

Or there's some connection between Will and... Cheyenne. Yeah. Some magical connection. I like the Benjamin Buttoning idea. I'm into that. It's youthening. It's euthaning. It's euthaning.

Okay. That's very little information to go on. Let's not obsess. What do I know about the legs? Do a perception check on the legs. What kind of pants? Fine pants. The only thing you know about the legs is the legs seemed as important as the image of the boy.

Very important legs. Were they bare legs? Hairy bare legs. Did a pustule pop and land on these bare legs as they walk past the young halfling boy? It was almost as if the legs were trying to obscure your vision. Oh. Oh.

Someone knew I was there. A will save in the past? Ooh. A powerful caster, perhaps. I'm just upset it wasn't Funfarm. Brander is Shia. Yes, that's Shia. Shia is Brander. Yes.

Finkle is Einhorn. Boy, that movie has an H12. No, wait a minute. Einhorn's. Boy, that movie has me aged well. No, wait a minute. Oh, Lord. So did Feyraza see enough of this figure to make a determination whether it was Sir Will or not? I do know Sir Will. Yeah, you do know Sir Will. It was a young halfling boy that you have no reason to believe

it wasn't Sir Will, but you're not 100% sure. So you couldn't see his face. Couldn't quite see its features. Yeah. It's far away. In a room. Weird. Well furnished. Legs walk in front. Obscure. Svelte legs? Pretty svelte. Any sigils on the wall?

Yep. The Ashbeak symbol. God damn it! Just a nice poster of the Ashbeak symbol. legs pretty spelled any sigils on the wall yeah the ash peak symbol just a nice poster of the ash we're we're we're totally in charge of youthening halflings that's the ash all right uh let's get this show on the road yeah just said tells lark that she uh she was unsuccessful it's all right right. I appreciate you trying. I don't know. She seems to be something different than what I thought. I thought she might be a helpless child here, but she seems to have taken care of herself rather well.

How old would she be at this point? Do you know? I believe about 20. Is that right, Troy? You've been gone for 20 years since your time in Skelton. I think that's about right. Yeah. So she's 19. About 19 in three months.

19 going on 20, am I right? Well... What the fuck? I don't... I don't know what that means. but we will do what we can to find her. I know how important she is to you. Thank you, Pembroke. I can't tell you how good it is to have you back.

It was a harrowing night. Well, I can't tell you how good it was for me to spend a night in an actual bed below the tree line. Yes, were you able to tell the people of Skelt what we've done so far here? Yes, I shared everything within reason that we found out of the authorities there, and they were suitably impressed. A little confused, probably. Fair enough. But no, they sent the rescue party, And so I think I made a credible case

Did you tell them to prepare The next band of heroes for when we all die? Yes, I told them to roll up Roll up new heroes Average 11th level party To take over when we inevitably perish Did you go shopping for hats? Yes, no

No hats, I'm happy with the one I have And I don't feel comfortable Did you go shopping for hats? Yes, no, no hats I'm happy with the one I have And I don't feel comfortable hat shopping for someone else Even though I feel like I know you pretty well, Baron But I just, I don't want to purchase a hat for someone It's such a personal thing Are you saying that the hat I'm wearing right now is ugly? I'm not saying

Is that what you're implying? Baron, I think he's saying he doesn't like your hat. I don't like the cut of your jib, sir. I just assumed question. Yes. When you purchase a hat like that, Yes. It's furry.

It's nice for this weather. Yes. Do you get a free bowl of soup with it? I always bring my own soup to the hatteries I visit because I prefer my own chili. Lork cracks up he this is like the old black arrow days where all those dudes were so furiously mean to each other yeah and he's just like this is great that was the days before you had children right yeah carefree um footloose and fancy free so yeah I mean Lork is like

he just doesn't think that he's starting to think that she doesn't need his help at this point but he does want to find her I can do it myself dad but he does want to find her and he thinks the answer probably lies at the top of the mountain I think we should act now

while they're off balance don't give them a chance to get their bearings like act now hit them again where would balance, don't give them a chance to get their bearings. Like, act now. Hit them again. Where would you like to strike? I just have a sense that I'm part of the cathedral. I want to see what's in there. And I feel like we've dealt so many blows to them materially, if we could deal a blow to them spiritually, it might help seal the deal. Aye, and the Theramere's statue was

a failed attempt at that. This might be another way to strike at their spiritual leadership. I'm with you. Baron, what do you say? Well, if there's anything I hate more than a club-wielding meathead giant, it's a

spell- and divine giant but we've taken out Menderhall's acolytes before and I think we can take out Threm years let's go yes the chosen one Lord takes off as it turns into a hawk

and it's at the top of the mountain in minutes so we're sorry are we going to go to our camp location? No, no. I think we're going to go at night and sneak into camp right through the front door. Just trying to avoid any patrols. Shall we perhaps teleport? Oh, right. I always forget that.

I can only take three of you with me. Right. I can fly.. I can only take three of you with me. Right. I can fly. Okay. So, yeah. Okay. Do we have a sense, by the way, before we head up there, about their church schedule? Did we get a sense?

Was there a 10.30 mass and a 12 o'clock? Yeah. Was one in Latin, one in Spanish? There's Bible study on Thursday nights. And a ham and bean supper on Saturday. No, but in the sense that we... Is there an infernal school on Sundays? Is there a singles night?

We had Lork in a tree for like three episodes, so I'm just wondering if we maybe saw people... Yeah, I mean, he was nowhere near that section of the camp. I mean, that is the section of the camp you really haven't done a ton of recon on. There's a big longhouse right there, too, that we haven't looked at. Big old longhouse, kind of in the center north part of the camp. Burn it.

Burn it. And that's the largest building. I wonder if that's the Herseer's home. That's kind of what I think. Burn it. Where Skirkotla stays in the mountain. I don't know if he stays in the mountain, too. I don't think he does.

I think he stays in the longhouse. It's like he's the president of the university, and they gave him a nice house. He's the dean, yeah. The dean. Oh, that lousy dean. Just walks over to the brewery, and if I catch you selling beer again to underage giants,

you're out of here. You're on double secret probation. Trust the old dean. All right right so let me ask you this do you want to go if you do decide to go to the cathedral do you want to go at night yes yeah all right so it's the morning so you're just going to kind of wait it out hope no more patrols come you know if we're teleporting is it worth going with the slaves as far as possible the thing is it's not really the morning it wasn't till morning, early afternoon, that we got the slaves up and running. You know what I mean? So by early afternoon, they started leaving.

We probably saw them off a little ways. Right. So it's not too many hours we have to wait. Yeah, right. So off they go, Nim Nim and Fruard and the rest. They're hauling the bodies off as well, which is sad. So you see them off as far as you can, and then you make your way back. And are you just going to hide

in the spike tent? Or what do you want to do? No, I think that we should... Farazza's got to get going. It's going to take her time to fly up there. She'll meet you guys. All right, so she's going to start heading up. All right, so... Night falls. You aren't mol she's going to start heading up. All right, so... Monarchic turn. Night falls.

You aren't molested at all by any patrols. You think that maybe the ruckus that you've caused up top has forced their patrols more inward than outward, at least for the time being.

How long that will last, you don't know. Yeah, the main threat, as they see it, is coming from inside the camp. Inside the as they see it is coming from inside inside the camp the calls are coming from inside the house from inside the house so hey rosa is already left she could very well be dead for as far as you know probably night falls and you want to try and teleport to the front of the cathedral? The back.

The back. Right? The back. Between the cathedral and the rock wall of the mountainside. Yeah. Yeah. We know the location well. I think it's fair to say that you're somewhere between studied carefully and seen casually?

Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead and roll a D1 Hondo. D1 Hondo. See, now after that 86, I'm paranoid. Yeah, I know, right? You roll mine? I'm really scared.

No, I don't. I'm rolling my red, white, and blue rocket pop dice. America, America, it's for you. 69. Oh! Best possible result. Best possible America, it's for you. 69. Oh! Best possible result. Best possible result. That's insane!

86 out of 69 back-to-back rounds. So I'll say that you are directly behind the cathedral in a spot that it would be almost impossible for anyone to detect you. Perfect. If you look, Grant, I've already drawn the cathedral here. Oh, yeah, it's beautiful. you. Perfect. If you look, Grant, I've already drawn the cathedral here. Oh yeah, it's beautiful. We're using our Mondo map, and there

is a pillar near where you are, and you are between that pillar and the little nook in the northwest side of the cathedral. You look up at the pillar, and it's just some ancient warrior

looking towards the south. Wow. Like a bas-relief pillar. Is it like a frost giant warrior? Stone giant warrior? It looks to be a frost giant warrior. Like a caryatid column. Yes.

Just posing. Detect magic. Triumphant pose. Don't detect any magic. You also, can you detect magic? Yeah. Nope. You liar

But I got your answer Give me back your cap You fool And then Feyreza lands On Pembroke's shoulder Alright Hello my friends

Sorry Troy How many D8 of healing Do we get for that 69 as well Each of us For that 69 You actually lose Two D8 of healing do we get for that 69 as well? Each of us? For that 69, you actually lose two D8 of hit points. Oh, man. Are you guys all fully healed?

Yeah. I am. Now, do any of you have any sicknesses or illnesses? Nope. No. You sure? Well, no, I would get the altitude. Fatigue, right.

Oh, I would have life bubbled them. Sure, sure, sure Or I can right now. That's fine with me. And how long does life bubble last if you split between the three of them? Well, I prepared it three times for today. Okay. So that gives us two hours per level. So that's 60 hours.

60 hours. That good enough for you? That's 20 hours of overtime. That's pretty good. Well, you got to get me too once I'm in wild shape. Right, and don't forget Cabinatar. Alright, so you're up there, and you guys, and that gives you Endure Elements as well. So you're

in good shape with the old Life Bub. Okay. Life Bub. What do you want to do? You're just looking up at this colossal stone edifice, which I think I said to Pembroke or to Skid when he was just taking one last peek before he zipped back to the camp.

It looks like it was sculpted from living rock. Carved from living rock. Lurk would like to see if it's scalable at all. Like the sides, the walls. Are they notched or, you know, like stones, like individual cut stones? Or is it just a sheer smooth side? It's not impossible. It would probably be a tough climb.

You know that not everyone would be able to do it. And it's not completely even. It's pretty great handiwork. Whoever built this did a good job. But you can certainly tell. I'm just thinking I'd like to try to find any way in or out of this cathedral before we start walking through the front door. It's funny you should mention that, because I happen to have prepared stone shape.

Ah! Open a door where there was none before. Exactly. Ah, interesting. Stone of shape. Should we go around the backside and just open up our own door? In fact, I prepared it twice, just in case this was especially a thick wall. Wow.

That's a cool thing to do. That is a very cool thing to do. Let's do that thing. I just worry that we're going to open the door right into something we're not supposed to. Can I do... Oh, sorry. Go ahead, Grant. Oh, no, no, no.

I didn't. Whoever can go first. I just want to remind Troy that stone cunning. I receive a check within 10 feet from the GM whether I'm actively looking or not. That's fair. I'm just letting you know when we're in this presumably stone temple. Keep an eye out for secret doors and passages, my friend. All right.

I like it. Thanks for allowing the basic rules of the game. Once again, you're a mensch. I'm a giver. What a great guy. All right. so do you want to just blindly go in or do a sweep i'm i'm voting for blindly going can i before are there any knowledge checks that i can do on the like the statues like anything about that um history or yeah you can roll a knowledge history or you can you can look at a little few more of them um uh that is a 29 29 so just looking at the at the one here and kind of looking down the line because you see all along the west wall

and you would assume the east wall as well are a number of these columns going right around to the front of the building they just look like all warriors. Some are young, some are older, but they're all facing in a very specific direction. And you don't know historically what significance it has or who

these people were, but they're all looking like, looking towards the front of the building. Like they're, there's probably something that they're all looking towards the front of the building. Like there's probably something that they're looking at. Is it the kind of thing where I could do a knowledge geography? Like this is kind of looking at something very distant or something like in the building itself or in the camp itself.

Do you want to walk down the row and look at some more of these? Yeah. All right. Do you want to walk down the row and look at some more of these? All right, so if you sneak along there, and you're obviously not going to go running around if you see a watch or people walking by. So if you go down, if you get towards that last column, it's starting to turn. So whereas all the other ones were facing perfectly south, the last column before the building turns starts to turn as well. And you see another column right behind that that's turning as well.

So whatever they're looking at, it may be a statue in the front of the building. And then if you think back to when you were there, you remember that there was like a badass female warrior on the centermost column outside of the front doors. And if you just try to recollect you can imagine that the two columns on either side of that female warrior were looking up at her so all the statues around it are facing towards her so you think that maybe you rolling over that history check these were her people somehow how they're related maybe they were her people somehow. How they're related, maybe they were her warriors, maybe they were her children. Her retinue or her...

Her consorts, who knows? But they're all part of her. Can I do... I'd like to get a look at the front, if there's... Actually, I'm going to cast Invisibility on myself. Okay. Yeah, because going towards the front

is a lot more open. There are stairs that lead up to a platform. It's also open to the whole camp. It's what faces the whole village. And I tell him, I'm curious about one thing. I'll be right back. And then, boom, he disappears. He says, I always am.

You just hear that disembodied voice, I always am. Beardcast, see invisibility, and watch the whole thing. Finally. I'll pass around the photo again, and watch them hold it. Finally. I'll pass around the photo again, if you don't have it right in front of you, just to see what that building looks like. There are three sets of long stairs that lead up to the statues on the front. I just want to, like, walk around the lip, right around the edge at the base of the building. Right? Can I do that?

Yeah. And just get a look at that statue, just building. Can I do that? Yeah. And just get a look at that statue so I can make a check on it. Sure. History? Yeah, go ahead and roll history. That is another 29. You don't recognize the female warrior.

But roll a knowledge religion. Religion. If you have knowledge religion. Religion. If you have it. I do. That is a 28. You look at the woman and the only thing you really can gather from it is that

she is from a different time. There's something about the way her clothing, her armor that looks like it's removed a different time. There's something about the way her clothing, her armor, that looks like it's removed from the time in which you're living. Continuing to look, though, and using your religious knowledge,

you look at the temple itself and you can tell that this was once a great temple of Thremere. But something's a little off. It's been altered in some way. Like it's no longer

a temple of Thremere. But to what faith it's not readily discernible from the outside. And remind me, what do we know about the Premier so far? The Premier was like the frost giant god. He was the first frost giant who created the whole race of frost giants. Did he come out of the sea or something?

He fell into the sea and created the race of frost giants and all the frost peoples. race of frost giants and and all the uh the frost peoples um and so the the main statue that you guys uh were trying to deface that is a statue of thurman uh thurmir but you look here and you're like well this looks like it used to be a temple of thurmir but it's not anymore it's a temple thurmir's friend, Joseph. Joseph. Joseph Stalin. It's a temple to Joseph Stalin? Run! Wow.

Well, that means that Rasputin's inside, the lead cleric. Oh, man, we're going to get killed. Oh, he's really hard to fight. I'm going to go. Is there any way the doors close, like the main doors? Yeah, there's these long staircases leading up, and you see multiple sets of doors that all appear to be closed. And is there any way that I can look inside the building from where I am without... No.

Okay. Then I'm going to work my way back and tell them... You could scry. Yeah. Scry. It's his party. He'll scry if he wants to. I'll scry if I want to.

I made that joke two episodes ago, and it totally got talked over, and I want credit for it. Do or do not. There is no scry. All right. So I'm going to go back and tell them, and it's like,

I feel this was once a temple to Thremia, but it has been altered somehow. Something off. I can't place my finger on it. Oh, sorry, I'm still invisible. Sir, don't mean to frighten you. So, can I do some sort of check to see, or maybe I can ask Baron what he thinks the best place to open up a little door would be. This is a perfect segue because I wanted to roll a knowledge engineering based off of what I know of churches in general, where a safe place would go, but particularly I

would love to know where the cell is. Now, a cell in a Catholic church is where the monks or nuns sleep. So I'm looking for sleeping quarters because I want to coup de grace of giant clergy. Ah, you want to try and figure out sleeping quarters. If there are any. Knowledge engineering, your knowledge of churches. Try and figure out where the sleeping quarters may be. Or at least a safe place, if there are any.

Crack day? Not great. Thirteen. Thirteen. Directly in the middle okay uh no you're you're not you're not 100 sure you know uh faith is still new to you as well did your parents take you to a lot of churches when you were younger so um the thing is at the back of the church presumably if it's set up like you know churches that we've all seen, this would probably be where the altar is if we're at the back.

And that might not be the wisest place to go in. Unless we're right behind it. Yeah, that's true. Wouldn't that be surprising? So maybe if we go in the back, we should go not directly dead center, because there might be some big mantelpiece or statue there. There might be some clear spaceelpiece or statue there. There might be some clear space. Unless it's 20 feet to the side.

This giant god does not worship at the altar of symmetry. I have a feeling that you have no idea what's going to be behind the wall. We just got to open it and see what's there. I know what's going to be there. Certain death. To quote a certain someone.

Just pick a spot. Let's do it, but let's just not go center. That would make me feel better. All right. I'm going to do it in the corner we're standing at. I'll do it right there. Okay. Yeah.

Now, here's the $20 pickle. The building itself is way high off the ground. So, if you want to try and open a space Where you're standing You would be opening into a basement A lower floor If you want to go into the Level in which the doors of the cathedral open You can't do it from the back

I mean a lower floor isn't the worst thing in the world Got it Can I do a check to see if there is a lower floor? Uh yes Alright that's better We're talking about a 20 in the world. Got it. Can I do a check to see if there is a lower floor? Yes. All right, that's better. We're talking about a 20.

Ooh, does not appear to. It appears as if it was built on flat rock. Built on flat rock and this part was carved out of it.

So in order to get through, it's not impossible, but you have to go up the stairs and then go around. Or climb up the side with some sort of climb check. Ferrazza. Again, look at the picture

on the map there. See what you're dealing with. So there's no way for us to stand at the back and go in with Stone Shade. Because we'd have to be kind of hovering a story off the ground right yeah

essentially okay makes sense to me so front doors front doors front doors it is or i mean we can climb can we get here yeah can we can we go up the stairs oh come around the side come around the side yeah yeah you can absolutely uh once you get up the stairs everything is accessible to you except maybe the back but you can go on to where the sides, where the columns are. And I didn't see any guards or anything milling about while I was... Let's do that, and we'll stone-strip our way into there. Okay. So the side

Pembroke went around. So you all, as a team, come around and climb up stairs. You tell us. There are three sets of stairs. Pembroke didn't go up the stairs He stayed at the base And looked up at the statues

And just looked at the cathedral You guys come around You see a first set of stairs here On the southwest portion Faraz is going to fly up and perch On the place we're going to get to And keep an eye out and call Alright there's a big landing there

And you see a set of double doors in front of you. In the middle of the building, two double doors that are offset, and then on the far side, another set of double doors. So there's essentially four entryways. By the way, these double doors are enormous. Enormous. Because each one is 10 feet wide.

Each door is 10 feet. So the one on the left and the right are 20 feet wide, and then there are two doors in the middle that are separated by 10 feet of space. And is there a space that seems not where there would be a door that we can stone-shape our way in, or does it just seem like we should give up this plan and go into the door? No, I mean, you definitely have some options here. You can go around the building to the left or the right and stone shape through to other rooms, or you can stone shape where there aren't doors in the front.

Let's go to the side. What side did Pember go to? So Lurk wants to do a perception check out in front of the cathedral for any passing patrols or anything like that? Is that sort of happening passively? We don't see any trouble out there? Yeah, we're all a perception. Natural one.

Natural one. From Ferraza's perch up on the... That's a 23-27 against Giants. 24 for Ferraza. Yeah, I mean, you guys see activity, but none of the activity seems to be near you. There are patrols about, multiple patrols. None are right near the temple right now.

So, what are you planning to do? Go up the stairs with Kat, and then walk around to the side, wherever Ferraza is, to await the stone sheep. Bow drawn. Let's go in. Arrow knocked. Bow drawn. Arrow knocked. Alright, so you want to go to the west or the east?. Bow drawn. Let's go in. Arrow knocked. Bow drawn.

Arrow knocked. Alright, so you want to go to the west or the east? Whatever you think. West. West. West it is. Joe was pointing at west middle. You basically have, you know, there are four statues there. There's west top, west left, west middle, but don't think those statues necessarily refer to

an actual room. Right. You don't know what the hell's back there. Let's go Wes Welker. Let's go right, right. I'm more of a Danny Amendola man. Towards the back where Grant is pointing. All right, so you talk me through this, Stone Chip. So I can manipulate 20 cubic feet at my current level. 20 pubic feet.

That's what I said, but let's move on. Wait, what did you say? That's what I said, but let's move on. Wait, what did you say? Is that enough to create a hole for a medium-sized creature to get through? With squeezing, if need be. I don't know my cubic feet. You tell me.

I don't know how thick the walls are. Ah, good point. Give it to me in terms of this space here. Like, how thick would you have to go if you were going from that side of the room? How far could you get with that? Well, a cubic foot would be a foot on all sides. Okay, and you can go 20 cubic feet. Well, yeah, but I have to create a door. You have to create it large enough.

So if it was two feet high, we could all crawl under whatever. That would be ten foot long. And he can cast it twice, so twenty feet long. The moral of the story is the walls are thick, but you can create an opening enough for a medium creature.

Okay. Alright. So I do that. Beautiful. She touches her talon to the stone wall and just starts to, like, move the stone around.

And it opens into a very strange room. I knew it! Oh a very strange room. I knew it! Oh, it's strange. Directly in front of you is a table. The name Skid scrawled on it. No!

We've entered your real life! Oh no, I'm so scared right now! I haven't cleaned. Don't look. Don't look at right now I haven't cleaned Don't look Don't look at anything I haven't cleaned in weeks I was going to say The next thing that happens

Is Troy breaks it True to form I fall through it And step on Matthew's penis A drunk Troy LaValle Comes bursting through the door I was telling my sister Is this the bathroom?

Hold on I was telling my Steps on Matthew's genitals I was telling my sister How many pieces of furniture You've broken Is this the bathroom? Hold on. Steps on Matthew's genitals. I was telling my sister how many pieces of furniture you've broken. She was like, that seems unreasonably large. I'll tell you, right before he broke that table, he was like, everyone else was asleep. It was just Troy and I awake. And Troy was like, Grant, tell me about your life.

And I was like, well, I have two sisters and blah, blah, blah. You have two sisters. He was like really into the story for like three minutes tell me a bedtime story um so you stone shape this find a room and right in front of you is a table it's draped

in red cloth just sitting against this western wall that you've now opened up holy symbols and other objects just sitting against this Western wall that you've now opened up. Holy symbols and other objects may be pertinent to worship, divine sacraments, all that bullshit laid on the surface of the table. How dare you? It looks like a place where rituals, maybe even feasts, are prepared before being taken somewhere else to be served.

There's only one thing to do. Poop oranges. Poop oranges. You've heard of blood oranges. These are poop oranges. They're still brown. There is a 40-foot-'ve heard of blood oranges. These are poop oranges. They're still brown. There is a 40-foot-wide set of double doors leading south out of that room. That's the only means in or out.

Quick perception just in the room. 22. 36. 35. 39 versus Giants. Pembroke, you don't see anything of notice. 22 36 35 39 versus Giants Pembroke you don't see anything of notice

Feyraza and Loric you just you also don't see anything but you smell like it smells like raw meat maybe that's not

a good sign at all but it's not something isn't quite right about it what's Cat Benatar's raw meat, maybe. Oh, that's not a good sign at all. But it's not... Something isn't quite right about it. What's Cat Benatar's demeanor? Um... She's just staying with you. No, she feels very

uneasy since you've stone-shaped into this room. Huh. Would a knowledge religion check be applicable to learn more about this table? Uh, you can certainly roll it, yeah. I will do that as well. 17. 23.

You both get the same sense of this is some sort of preparation chamber. But when you add that to that smell that Lork and Feyraz are getting, you can't help but wonder, what are they preparing? Do I see meat around?

Who are they serving, and what are they serving? No. I mean, is it a sacrifice? Are we looking at some sort of sacrificial preparation? Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. The objects are strewn about, you would think haphazardly, but you don't see any blood or any remnants of

an actual sacrifice. Pembroke leans down to Baron knowing that we're the two people that are no... Do you have a religion too? Nope. Lork has it. Oh, okay. Well, he grabs...

He just hates Lork, right? Grabs Baron and Lork. No, he loves Lork. And says, This place, there is something wrong here. There is some sort of feasting sacrifice here. Go inside. I'll follow you.

Is there a check I could roll to identify the smell? Is it survival or knowledge nature? Survival, sure. 21. 24. 23. 20? So it's a total of 84.

Right. Is that how that works? So eight another. Another. It gives off a smell similar to the smell of the slaves that were dying. Okay. So likely human sacrifice. Yeah.

You know, it's not like you have a real knowledge of human meat, but if you were to try to piece it together, that's the sense you're getting. The only thing that gives me pause is the fact it's being done in a religious manner, which if it's not just like circum at Panem to keep them at bay, I'm worried about zombie slaves. I'm really worried about zombie slaves. Yeah, that would not be fun at all to face. All right.

Should we try to work our way out of this door here? Yes, go inside. Lork is going to do a perception at the door, listening, touching, see if he feels any vibration. Faraz is going to unwild shape, by the way. Okay. Are you guys all in the room now?

Yeah. And Baron's loading up his giant-span crossbow. Put yourselves in the room. Can we examine the table any more closely, or have we got what we needed from our perceptions? I told you everything! Okay. All right. Lork, perception on the door. table anymore closely or we got what we needed from our perceptions i told you everything all right uh lork perception on the door that's a uh 41 45 against giants

you hear absolutely nothing all right. In fact, with a 41, you wonder why you wouldn't even hear the absence of sound or something. You hear absolutely nothing. Like a vacuum. Like a magically silenced area. Maybe. Oh. Yeah, Baron's going to detect magic through the doors and see if he can locate and then he is going to at the same time at every door we get to within 60 foot

um detect alignment which would allow me to sense the presence of evil all right so tell me what you're doing again. Detecting magic in a 60-foot cone through the door. Mm-hmm. And kind of just sweeping it out. Right. So if we know we're going on anything. And also detecting alignment within a 60-foot cone-shaped emanation.

You do detect magic on the other side of that door. In fact, there's magic all around you. And detect alignment just gives you the sense of what alignment is nearby. I'm able to detect any evil presences within a 60-foot cone. You absolutely detect an evil presence. Both of those boil down into being able to determine number of evil auras and power of location of auras within three rounds so within 18 seconds of each if they are just hanging out there trying to feel it out uh you detect one presence of evil very close close and then one slightly farther away that just imagine this in a flavor way that just feels different it's evil but it's like new evil whoa baron's eyes, and he looks at Lork.

He looks at Pembroke and Farazza. He says, You've all known me a long time, and I don't get shook easy. But I just felt some evil I've never even thought I'd come across in my whole life. It sent shivers down my spine. Steal yourselves yourselves my friends and i point out the general direction of the auras crossbows loaded yeah before we do this i should say i have another stone shape we could try to go into the next room presumably there's a room i was thinking this way but i was thinking like to the to the east or we could just kick in the door and go out guns blazing

you've got a door going south you've got a a small portion going north but that could just be a large room like t-shaped and then you've got the east. Here's why you keep it, Matthew. Potential escape route. I mean, that's why I was hoping, but... Let's just go through the door, man. Yeah, all right. Is it possible to open these doors somewhat stealthily?

Or are they just so ridiculously huge? They're so big. You about giants like going through a doorway it's going to be 20 feet tall the ceilings in this room are 20 feet tall so the door is 12 feet high both of these doors is it impossible? no but it's a very high stealth check

and you would just be opening one door which would bottleneck your entrance into the room alright well it's the only way And you would just be opening one door, which would bottleneck your entrance into the room. All right, well, it's the only way. Okay. All right, so he's going to stealthily attempt to open the door. Which one, the left or the right? The east door.

Okay. Place yourselves where you want to be on the map. Yeah, he's going to try to open it so slow that um it's possible somebody doesn't hear it uh so 32 on the stealth 32 stealth oh god i'm so nervous i hate magical auras of evil and you know based off of like baron's range he's done it before like it's right there on the other side of the door. Yeah. Oh, and he's laughing.

You open the door. As the door's opening, it makes no sound. There should be a creaking, but there is not. It's magically silent. Why did I take silence as my second level spell? But as you open it... Because you have a fucking gun. Shut up!

Thank you, Matthew. Quiet, quiet. Everybody quiet. You especially, and Baron standing at the front of the door... You meaning Lork? You, Lork, and Baron... Oh, no. Standing at the front of the door...

No, no. ...are just hit in the face by 300 arrows. No. By this sickly sweet smell. It's gonna be something awful.

Of blood and viscera. Overpowering. You're not ready for this. Oh, man. We're not. We're not worthy. I can feel that I'm not.

You're not ready. I can feel it. I can assure you I'm not ready for this. The energy in the room right now is like, you can, there's something you're. Cut it with a knife. Should we turn off the lights? No, no, don't turn off the lights. I'm turning off the lights.

No. I'm scared enough already as this. He's really turning off the lights. Are we going to see the lights? No, no, don't turn off the lights. I'm turning off the lights. No. I'm scared enough already as this. He's really turning off the lights. Are we going to see the map? Oh, it's really dark in here. Oh, it's nice. I can't see the map. Beautiful.

Yeah, we can't see the map, idiot. The answer of the mind. Oh, this is wild. This is really scary. You got the Balthazar from Battlestar Galactica glow in your face. This is fucking me up, man. Baltar? Baltar.

Lork opens the door. Ever so slowly, it doesn't make any noise. But it doesn't matter. The smell of blood and viscera, almost sweet, like I said, just overpowers, especially Lork and Baron standing up front. You see a long, giant-sized table

resting against the west wall, not unlike the room you just stone-shaped into. But on top of that table is a partially devoured human corpse, just lying like a meal to be served, complete with the apple jammed in its mouth. Oh. Is it raw?

It is very raw. Oh. You can still see, like, its face, its mouth just grotesquely filled with an apple. The floor near the body is sticky with blood. Elsewhere throughout the room, hides and furs cover the floor. There's a large creature, kind of with its back to you. The way you're coming in, it's almost at profile, but it's turned towards the lower section of the corpse.

It's dressed in a long, black cloak. Oh, no. You look, and it seems like it's praying, but also eating human remains. And it's delighting in it. It's like... I don't like this. Right when you walk in, it's lifting up the intestines like

you would feed grapes to a Roman emperor and just dangling them in its mouth and sensually just slurping the intestines down. And right when you walk in, it already knows you're there.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Yes! More instruments with which to play Urgathor's sweet, sweet

melody. Oh. You have come here thinking you can destroy us, yes? That you can perhaps conquer me? But you are fools on a fool's errand. I promise you this, though. I promise you this, though.

I will use your remains to create far greater creatures than you could have ever been in this life. In fact, just take a look at my latest work. Now, I must apologize, as it is as of yet unfinished. Apologize as it is as of yet unfinished, but it will no doubt be my masterpiece. Allow me, yes, to introduce you to a piece of your past and a glimpse of your futures. a glimpse of your futures. Rise. Rise, my gift. You hear

a sound coming from the open doorway to the south. It's like, a sound. Jesus. It all of a sudden, a large figure walks into this dimly lit doorway behind this other creature, who still has yet to really turn its face towards you. And you just see an abomination.

Its chest cavity is completely opened up. You see a shriveled heart barely visible beneath a charred ribcage. Surrounding the ribcage is like some sort of breastplate that looks like it's sewn directly to the skin of the creature. It's exposed bones just swappily intertwined with the armor. As the creature enters the light of the room, Lork and Feyraza, maybe from where you're standing, you see as well your hearts

skip a beat as you are just mesmerized, staring into the open cavity of the chest, and you see that beneath the exposed heart staring into the open cavity of the chest. And you see that beneath the exposed heart and above where other organs are still rotting away inside, it's missing something. There are no lungs.

As an enlarged, undead, Orphos Norki stumbles lazily into the room and lets out a blood-curdling scream as he enters a rage. And we'll see you next week. Welcome to hell, my friends. Please turn the lights on. Please turn the fucking lights on. Jeez. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated.

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