The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 16 - The Killing Choke Part II - Choker's Wild
Episode Date: September 15, 2015Lorc and company race to find his adopted son and a long sought after piece of the puzzle comes to light. But first, they must survive a bout with a lung-searing cloud of alchemical smoke and the sava...ge beastmistress within! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast...
He's the mastermind behind the entire plot, and he's the one that killed Roderick.
Not me. I may have stole the Hope Knife, but he killed him.
A powerful servant of the enemy is questioned.
What do you want to know?
Who the fuck are you?
Who are you?
Who are you? I asked you first.
Come here, Taktikaldi.
But not before the Dogs of War are unleashed.
It was just a Pomeranian.
Oh, God.
Three beautiful Pomeranians.
And Lork and Bale, they were on their way to a dog show.
Lork's focus turns to his home.
Yeah, Lork's going to try to keep heading towards his home.
And still on the lookout for your son.
Yeah.
Will he be too late? There lookout for your son. Yeah.
Will he be too late?
There are five orcs.
Fuck.
The biggest one among them is holding your adopted son by his hair on his knees in front of him. The adventure continues. What's going on? It's your old pal Troy doing the intro for this week.
We've mentioned this before, but I don't think enough can be said about what huge fans we are of Paizo and the Pathfinder system.
And we don't work for them or anything.
They're not giving us money to plug them.
Although, if anyone at Paizo is listening and wants to hire us
to be their official adventure path game testers slash podcasters,
you know where to find us.
But seriously, I mean, clearly D&D is the spiritual grandfather to all of this,
and there is no Pathfinder without D&D,
but we are huge Pathfinder marks.
I mean, between the five of us,
we're in the middle of five different Pathfinder adventure paths as we speak,
and we even created a little NYC Pathfinder Society
to play their one-off modules
and help bring some of our other friends into the hobby.
I'll tell you, Paizo puts out quality content every single month,
including two new adventure paths a year,
releasing one new book every month along with multiple minor and major releases
with new races, classes, enemies, weapons, spells, you name it.
Everyone's favorite badass from last week,
the Scald, was actually a hybrid class from their advanced class guide that came out recently.
I put a link to it on the Tumblr too. It's a fantastic book. Introduces 10 new base classes
that are like mashups of other base classes. So the Scald was a bard-barbarian mashup. They also
have the Warpriest,
which is like a cleric fighter,
and my personal favorite, the Slayer,
which is a ranger rogue.
Awesome.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
They just released a book last month
called Occult Adventures,
which adds six new insane occult-based classes,
like a psychic, a kineticist, a mesmerist, I think, and shit like that.
Just talking about it, I want to roll up a fucking slayer, psychic, bard, triple, multiclass weirdo right when I'm done recording this.
I love multiclassing.
I wonder if our giant slaying heroes, if they survive the Battle of Bloodmarch Hill, if any of them will multiclass.
Hmm, very curious.
I can remember when I was playing Kid
trying to multiclass. It was brutal.
You earned like half the experience
points for everything you did when you multiclassed.
So you basically never leveled up. It sucked.
Not so with Pathfinder.
Now I'm sure they cleaned that shit up with D&D
5th edition though. I would know though
because I only play Pathfinder. Although
Sword Coast Legends, coming soon to
all video game systems, uses the D&D
5e rules, it looks
pretty amazing, and that's probably the
closest I'll ever come to ever playing D&D
again. Until then, it's Pathfinder
all the way. Be sure to visit
paizo.com, P-A-I-Z-O
dot com, and spend all of your hard-earned
money on escaping the awfulness
of this world through the magic of fantasy.
In the meantime, the battle rages on in episode 16,
The Killing Choke Part 2, Joker's Wild.
Here you stand atop of this crenellated tower.
He's going back to the crenellated.
Looking out at the devastation below you In the distance, near the hope spring
Lots of orcs
Lots of
Just causing a ruckus
So poetic
And another waves and waves of orcs
Seeming to charge towards the main gates
And another waves?
Of inner Trinow
So many waves
Does she sound a little bit like dr ruth you
in the distance a giant hurling boulders at the facade you stand over the body of a
orc scarred as his drum has made its last beat. What do you do?
I take his drum and start beating on it.
Do-ka-do-ka-do-ka-do-ka-do.
You all start.
Just to contradict what you just said.
No, we should search the body.
Yeah, we'll search.
Search the body.
All these bodies.
Searching the bodies.
Okay, who's searching what?
23 on the skull.
Okay, you find a...
I'm just going to read what they are.
You find a potion of cure moderate wounds.
That'll come in handy.
And you find one, two, three, four, five scrolls.
Ooh.
And also a wand of cure light wounds.
Yes.
Christ.
Yes.
In addition,
you find a masterwork chain mail.
Ooh.
Masterwork light steel shield.
Masterwork battle axe.
Yeah. And war drums nice that's a good haul
and an anti-toxin
never know when you need that
can I spellcraft the scrolls
yeah
yeah I'm not going to say
roll for each one
just give me a good roll
natty 20
there you go
I'm going to tell you
what they all are
I've seen these scrolls before So you get a scroll of cause fear
A scroll of charm person
A scroll of grease
I like that
A scroll of remove fear
And a scroll of summon monster 1
So I think remove fear and summon monster one is Galabras.
I can also summon monsters.
Or Gormley.
But you also need to be evil eyeing, I think.
So if I can, if they are, remind me how scrolls work, I'm sorry.
So if I can cast them, I can perform a procedure to learn them
or just use them?
Yes, yes.
You can, if it's within the wizard
or the witch spell list,
you can infuse it into your familiar
and learn it permanently
if it's in the witch spell list.
Yes.
If it's not in the witch spell list,
then you can't do anything with it.
You've got to give it to the class that can.
Which reminds me,
if we're going to go out and fight this giant, I should probably
read that scroll of
bark skin.
Oh, that's a good idea.
Yeah. I just don't
know. Well, we'll see.
We'll see.
Curious. So I'm going to take
I'll take the summon
monster and remove fear scrolls is that okay
okay uh what about how many charges does the wand have uh the wand has 20 of cure light wounds yeah
24 oh yes fucking awesome wow that keeps it going we can going. See? They're not out to get you.
They're mostly out to get you.
So I can take cause fear, I think.
It's remove fear.
Remove fear?
Well, I thought there was a cause fear. No, there was one of cause fear also.
Yes, there was.
You're right.
Sorry.
Well, I mean, if you guys are going to cast these,
you think in the next session,
then we can try and allot them all out.
But otherwise, we can do that later.
Yeah, I think that we're going to allot them all out
because we don't know what we're up against.
Okay, sure, sure, sure.
This is bare bones.
We need to have everything on guard.
Far be it from me to steamroll then, please.
We're certainly not going to sleep.
Scroll of Charm.
You can always cast Scroll of Sleep.
Actually, am I well rested now that I've woken?
Yes, I have to say.
I'll take that as a yes.
I'm not dignifying that.
What about Grease?
Is that on the witch spell list?
No, Sorcerer or Wizard.
Okay, shit.
So can we explain non-lethal damage?
Because I took seven points of it with that bola.
Yeah, so basically it runs right alongside regular damage as a separate calculation and if your non-lethal damage ever
equals your total hit points you fall unconscious and you're not dying but you fall unconscious but
say i started with 10 hit points and i took seven points of non-lethal damage. I now have three hit points.
Right.
If your non-lethal damage ever equals your total hit points that you like have.
I'm just saying after that battle, I don't get back the non-lethal damage now, do I?
No, but it's healed just like regular hit points at the same time.
So if he channels positive energy and heals you for three hit points, you heal three regular and three of the non-lethal.
It goes away.
I mean, that's how I understand it.
Yeah, non-lethal damage is a little quirky.
It's hard to keep track of.
Yeah, it's a totally separate tracking thing.
And very rarely have I ever experienced in a game
a character actually going down from non-lethal damage.
They're just to keep you on your toes
because you could die from it if it ever equals.
No, you can't ever die from it.
If it goes below your con with non-lethal, like if you took 40 points of non-lethal damage because you could die from it if it ever equals. No, you can't ever die from it.
If it goes below your con with non-lethal,
like if you took 40 points of non-lethal damage and you only had five hit points left, you can die.
No, it's non-lethal.
That's the whole point of it.
The word lethal means kill you.
It's non-lethal.
So the worst it can do is just knock you unconscious?
Correct.
Non-lethal is more often used by party characters to keep someone
who might have information alive.
Right. Yeah, use it to subdue people.
Yeah, knock them out, stuff like that. Good point.
I must have misread it.
Okay, so... So of those
spells, I already know
Summon Monster one. I don't have it prepared
for today. So I would say, why don't you
take that one? Okay, cool.
Yeah, so Galabras takes Remove Fear and
Summon Monster, and you take Cause Fear.
And then we'll eventually sell
Grease and Remove Fear if we survive
or if any merchants survive.
No one can use Grease?
Nope. That's a bummer. I like that spell.
That's a great spell, but we don't have a wizard.
Or sorcerer.
This is good, though.
I just realized where you guys don't have any spells left for the most part.
Now you've got some if you can pass your concentration.
Summon a monster.
That would help.
Cure moderate wounds.
Potion.
Who wants to take that?
You should take that.
Yep.
You have the most hit points.
Okay.
I'll take cure moderate.
Or should we give it to the cleric to administer to you?
No.
No, because I already have other killing stuff I can do.
You should give it to Howie.
Howie has enough spells.
I am going to
take and put on the Masterwork Chainmail
and literally just dump
my other Chainmail right here
where we stand and keep moving with a better
set of armor. Oh wow, so you just upgrade your armor.
Nice.
What does it do really? I know it helps with Arcane and keep moving with a better set of armor. Oh, wow. So you just upgrade your armor. Nice. Yeah. I mean, it doesn't...
What does it do, really?
I mean, I know it helps with, like, arcane spell failure.
Yeah, it's your skill penalty.
Yeah, your skill penalty goes down.
Yeah.
So it's great.
It's awesome.
Wait.
So if I were to wear that,
would it be the same skill penalty as, like, a light armor?
No, but it's heavy armor it's still heavy
armor chamiel's medium armor it is yeah plate plates heavy armor uh i always forget that let's
say it's not a category less it's just like less because there you have a penalty like a numerical
penalty to like physical skills based on the armor you're wearing right so the numerical
penalty is less if for one less for masterwork but it doesn't it doesn't turn turn medium armor
into light armor correct yeah all right so um there's a giant in the distance and we saw cursed
riding into battle and uh we have a uh the what have the front gate or whatever has been breached, and orcs are pouring into the city.
Is that what we're looking at?
It's starting to be breached.
You noticed from atop the thing that there are waves of orcs attacking the Portcullis.
Is there a way to shore it?
Maybe we should see if we can shore up the Portcullis.
You're still a ways off from there.
So there's like,
uh,
we'd have to get out of town.
There's just,
there's other things going on right now.
You're from where you are.
You guys are making your way to the center of town.
Okay.
Um,
but we were just getting a chance to see far into the distance.
Right.
And you saw that.
And now Lork,
you as a side note,
uh,
are also,
um,
you're aware of what your mission is and you're aware
of what the situation is
but you are
getting closer
and closer
to your home
right
and I got my son
is in the militia
your son is in the militia
and last you knew
he was
at home
right
and your
home is over here
ish
like so it's
over here
for the fans at home
it's over here
you know so it's kind here. For the fans at home, it's over here. You know, so it's kind of like
on the north,
northeastern,
northwestern side of the city,
right before the gates.
Let's assume Lork knows
where it is better than you.
Yeah, right.
Sorry, I haven't lived there
in a while.
So we should be,
we were supposed to head
towards the Hope Spring,
eventually, which was one of our... Right, so were supposed to head towards the Hope Spring eventually,
which was one of our...
Right.
So right now you're securing the buildings, making sure everyone's safe, killing orcs
and taking names.
So now you can make your way through the middle of the city and presumably to find out what's
going on with the barricades.
Maybe Lork wants to check out his house.
And also a tower on the south side just completely collapsed.
And you saw a bunch of people die as that happened.
So you basically now would want to make your way through the middle part of town.
Okay.
All right.
Do it.
Gormley turns around and hops off the side of the tower.
Don't waste your spell.
I can cast it at will.
Oh, well, then by all means.
By all means, waste it.
Show off. All right. Cast it on each of us as we jump off as well. I can only do at will Oh well then By all means By all means waste it Show off
Alright cast it on each of us
As we jump off as well
I can only do it on myself
Calabrus might I have a hit
Of your
Wand of pure light wounds
I'll also take a hit
Yeah I will
I'm actually gonna need a few hits
Both of
Well first
Lork
Seven
Nice You got 24 uses on that bad boy You still got the old one right Still using the old one Nice Well, first lork, seven. Nice.
You've got 24 uses on that bad boy.
You've still got the old one, right?
I'm still using the old one.
Nice.
And how much are you down now?
I'm down eight.
All right.
One more shot.
Three.
Oh.
And I'll give you another one for good measure.
Eight.
All right.
I'm a full.
There we go.
All right. So I've got one charge left in the old wand.
I'm going to use it on Baron.
Five.
Fizzles.
Turns dark.
Wand gone.
Wand Gonzalez.
Break it over your knee.
You still need healing?
You're still down?
I'm still down.
What are you down?
15 out of 19.
Yeah, I'm going to give you another shot.
And you're back to max.
Sweet.
Gormley, how are you feeling?
I'm at full, actually.
Also, I'm off the tower.
I'm hanging out down.
Gormley, how are you doing? Gormley! Okay, and I'm off the tower. I'm hanging out down. Gormley! How are you doing?
Gormley! Okay, and I'm
basically fine, so
we're good. Alright.
Alright, a little housekeeping
in the middle of this battle.
So you guys, will you make your way down
and try to cut through the middle of town?
Yeah, Lork's going to try
to keep heading towards his home
and try to take care of any civilians he sees along the way.
And still on the lookout for your son.
Yeah.
Um, as you, uh, start to walk through town.
Now, if you remember back a few episodes ago, um, when you first came into the inner quarter, a, uh, boulder came flying through the air, lit the trees in the middle of town on fire as it was flying through.
through the air, lit the trees in the middle of town on fire as it was flying
through, and that's what crashed into Sarah Morninghawk
in a great Standix
house slash shop.
So now
as you walk through, those trees are
still lit with fire.
And these thick
plumes of pea green
smoke billow into the air
here around the middle of town.
Did it take a matcher? One second. smoke billow into the air here around the middle of town. Detect magic?
One second.
There were three big trees that are now completely ablaze with
this green alchemical fire.
You just know without even detecting magic
that it's alchemical
fire and the air reeks of
sulfur and ashes.
Brimstone.
So, yeah.
As you start to walk through, it becomes
very, very, very thick, and the air
is reminiscent of what you guys had
to deal with when you were fighting
with Sarah Morninghawk.
As you...
Just to remind you, they're out there.
That's her. That's Sarah.
As you come closer to it, you see this woman, this green woman in the middle of it, like
reveling in the destruction.
And she's like breathing in this air and doesn't seem to be affecting her.
But you yourself are starting to get choked up.
And then you can't really see because there's a lot of smoke.
But she's got some sort of chain
she's holding onto. And at the end of
the chain are three
rabid-looking dogs.
Oh, gross.
And she comes right out
of the smoke as the smoke
kind of surrounds all of you.
Roll for initiative.
Gormley, it's time to shoot another crossbow
bow. More fortitude saves.
Awesome.
Ooh.
Alright.
What kind of dice I was using?
Oh, this is your kind.
Sweet.
Okay, so
where my
20's at?
23
24 for Gromley
Oh, fuck you
Gromley never won to
Wow
To disappoint on the old initiative rolls
You know who you can thank for that?
Howie
Howie
The green stink scorpion
Thanks, Howie
Alright, so you get three dogs
And this orc beast tamer
Lork, what'd you get?
18 18 for Lork I what'd you get? 18.
18 for Lork.
I'm sorry, 17.
And Galabras?
12.
12 for Galabras.
And what's your initiative modifier?
Zero.
Zero.
Okay, I'm sorry, Lork, what'd you say you got?
17.
17 and Baron was a 20.
Okay.
23.
Remind me how, so if I wanted to read one of these spells,
or read the scroll to cast the spell in combat,
I'd have to roll a concentration spell?
If it's Summon Monster 1, you don't have to roll anything
because you're already an expert at the spell.
It's not that.
Oh, that's right.
If it's Cause Fear, it depends on, do you know,
did you look up what level cause fear is?
Wait, you still have to roll if you're in combat, though.
Not if you're not under immediate melee attack.
Yeah, not in melee.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what he was asking.
Level one.
Like when the Skald tried to cast it, he couldn't.
No, I don't think he's asking if he's under attack.
Just to read it in general.
But if we're in a combat situation, I can just read it?
Yes.
Well, it depends on what level is the spell.
Level one.
Then, yeah, you can just read it.
Oh, great.
It's a spell from your class,
from your list of a level you can cast.
So you can just read it and cast it.
As long as you're not under a melee threat,
immediate melee threat.
Great.
All right, cool.
Okay, so this cloud surrounds all of you.
This smoke is billowing.
A couple things are going to happen.
Everyone has concealment, just as before.
You can't see five feet in front of your face,
so you've got to roll a D100 for every single physical attack.
Partial concealment, like 20% mischance?
20% mischance, yeah.
Okay.
physical attack. And it's partial concealment?
Like 20% mischance? 20% mischance,
yeah. Okay. And also, you have to tell me
how you want to deal with
this smoke inhalation.
Is there anything you're going to do to try and
combat it? Yeah, I want to
dip a cloth into water,
like just water
on the ground or out of the well that was there,
and wrap it around my face.
Okay. What do
you want to do, Galabras, if anything?
I'm going to create water
and I'm going to
tear my tunic and
get into squares, give everybody who
doesn't have one, dip it in the water
and we're just
created over the squares so we can cover our mouths
with it. Okay.
So you guys all take that
for the lab.
Okay.
So roll a fortitude save
and you get a plus two
for doing that.
Okay.
Critical fumble.
Okay.
18 for Lork.
Lork's fine.
22.
Calabras is fine.
Fortitude? Mm-hmm. 22. Calabras is fine. Fortitude?
16.
Alright, it's only Gormley.
It's a 5 if that matters.
Gorms.
Gormley.
Gorm.
They took her germs.
I read that this name was anglicized to Barbara.
Gormley, you are nauseated.
Oh, man.
And it is your turn.
Oh, we have that stuff.
Remove sickness.
The thing from the bartender. We have, yeah, the vials of soothing syrup.
It is, just so you know,
it's Gormley's turn, and nauseated means
you can only take a move action. You cannot
attack, cast spells, or concentrate.
But it is
your turn.
So if I were to take one, how long
do I know how long I'm not going to be nauseated for?
Am I nauseated for permanent?
Right now, you're nauseated for
one round.
Okay. four am i nauseated for permanent uh right now uh you're nauseated for one round uh
okay should i take one of those to the you can't you can't who has them oh i can't even that's like let's assume that if we didn't divide them up that if it helps people probably calabras has them
yeah uh so yeah but you can't do anything but move.
So you can move if you'd like.
Otherwise, that's it.
Just so you know, with Soothe Syrup, for one hour after drinking Soothe Syrup,
you gain a plus five alchemical bonus on saving throws made to resist effects
that would make you nauseated or sickened.
Oh, so I would have had to take it before?
Yeah, it still will work.
All right, I'm going to ready in action. Because you're going to have to keep making these saves. Can I ready in take it before. Yeah, it still will work. All right, I'm going to ready an action. I'm going to have to keep making these saves.
Can I ready an action?
Sure.
When I become not nauseated,
I'm going to evil eye the dog handler?
Or does that not work?
No, because that's going to be like a next round.
Next round?
Yeah.
All right, so I'll just stay where we are.
Yeah, I mean, you can hold your move action,
or you can take a move.
All right, I'll hold my move action in case I need to move.
You basically want to make that save next round.
Baron.
So I can't see more than five feet in front of my face, correct?
I mean, how does it work?
You can see. You can make out work? You can see. To attack, you just gotta roll.
You can make out shapes.
So how far away
is she? She's like 25 feet away?
You can reach her.
No, she's a lot more than 25 feet.
She's like 50 feet away.
No, she's...
She's 35 feet away. Or 40.
Yeah, 30-something. She's 30 feet away. Or 40. Yeah, 30, 30 something.
She's 30 feet away.
So I'm going to move 10 feet closer.
Okay.
And I am going to...
fire at one of the dog shapes
because I don't think I'm going to really be able to disable her
and I think these dogs are going to get up close in our face.
So, I'm are going to get up close in our face so I'm just
gonna I'm gonna up close and deadly the one to her far left so that one fumble
oh wait wait wait wait which I don't know if I need to take a car, too, but my weapon misfires, and it currently has a broken condition.
Yeah, we said before that you take the broken penalty,
and then you roll again to confirm the fumble.
If you confirm the fumble, then you take a card.
Okay.
That's a 17 Against touch
So it's just broken
Okay so
I'm done
Barone
Okay it is
Lork's turn
I'm going to try something here
I've never done before
Lork is going to
Take a five foot step here
And He is going to take a five foot step here And he's going to
Brace his long spear
Against a
Charging attack
From the dogs
So if the dogs are released on him
And they run at him
In that attack of opportunity
If he hits he does double damage
I like that
So he's basically bracing the spear
down. And sure enough, on
the next turn, she releases the
chains and the dogs come running.
The first dog
runs at Lork. Alright.
So I get
an attack of opportunite.
15. 15 hits. Yeah! Alright. Oh, back 15
15 hits
yeah
alright
oh
back to the one
d8
24 damage
maximum damage
you impale the dog
through its throat
and the spear
comes out its ass
wow
it's dead
wow
awesome
now you can't do that
multiple times
can you or
I would think not i mean it's not
an attack of opportunity it says if you if you use a readied action to set a brace weapon against
the charge you deal double damage on a successful hit against a charging creature so i mean it
doesn't say anything about it being an attack of opportunity right it's a readied action so you
don't have uh you can't take multiple attacks of opportunity, right? Right.
But that wasn't an attack of opportunity.
That's what I'm saying is the bit of the question mark.
I mean, it's a ready to action against these things.
So I don't know if that counts as my standard action or if he just ran into my thing and I was ready for it. Right now, I think you have one attack of opportunity left, but you've already readied that action.
You're no longer bracing for something.
Oh, I got you.
So I could do it again, but it would be an attack of opportunity and not double damage. Right. That's what you're no longer bracing for something rushing. Oh, I gotcha. So I could do it again, but it would be an attack of opportunity
and not double damage,
is what you're saying.
This dog rushes right up to you
and you get your attack of opportunity.
Just because of the reach.
Yeah.
Okay.
It's a dog.
It wouldn't know any better.
Nine.
Misses.
So it goes to bite you,
because that's what dogs do.
Critical threat for the bite.
God damn it.
Little bastard. Eighteen. Critical threat for the bite. God damn it. Little bastard.
18.
Hit.
Confirms.
Concealment.
Oh.
Oh, well.
Yeah, I didn't roll it,
but it ran at my spirit of standing still.
It wasn't an attack.
Right, it was a weird-
That works.
93, yeah.
Works.
Not too bad.
Joe, four points of damage
on a critical bite
and then the other dog rushes at Baron
to bite
him, I'm just going to roll my D100
with it
80 and it hits
4
4 points of damage.
Just latches onto your leg.
That's actually a pretty good dog sound there, buddy.
Frank Welker, ladies and gentlemen.
Frank Welker.
And the other one,
the mad woman,
she's like, my dog!
My sweet dog!
Steps up and throws a javelin at Gormley.
Ooh, shit!
Bitch!
I'm rolling my D1 hondo as well.
Misses, and because of concealment, missed.
Nice.
Javelin sails over your head.
And it is now Galabras' turn.
I am going to...
Oh, fuck.
Yeah, I'm going to take a shot at...
I see, I'm going to take a shit.
I'm going to take a shot at the Beast Mistress.
Okay.
With the crossbow.
And miss.
Alright, alright. And
round two, everybody roll a
fortitude save. Remember, you get a plus two,
but now it's DC 16.
Lurk passed.
Gormley passes.
Good.
23.
20. Alright.
The whole crew. And Gormley you start fresh
You don't want
It's the consecutive
Nauseated stuff
Where bad stuff starts to happen
So you guys are reset
And good
And now it is Gormley's turn
You just wipe vomit
From your chin
And go
So Gormley's gonna evil eye
The beast mistress
Does concealment have an effect with that?
No
We've said that before
It's not an attack
Alright great So she'll evil eye for
AC. Okay.
A little will save action.
Oh, 20.
So for one round.
One round she is...
And Gormley will cackle to extend that to two.
You son of a bitch.
Always with the cackling.
Cackling.
Alright, so that'll be until round four.
Okay, it is Baron's turn.
You got this dog up in your face.
I am going to...
So I have a feat called Quick Clear,
which allows me to remove the broken condition
from my firearm as a standard action.
As long as I have one grip point,
I'm going to use my only grip point
to change that to a move action.
So I'm removing
the broken condition. With my
alchemical cartridge, I'm going to rapid reload
as a swift action, and I'm going to shoot
this dog in the fucking face.
What a ridiculous character.
It is. It's insane. He's got 40 feats.
19 grip points.
Whee!
A 24!
Oh, man, you just shot this dog that's one dead dog man
ah shit
2
2 points of damage?
oh should I do concealment too?
yes you should
so I'll just roll 2 of these
that's correct
so I'm rolling for the big digits first
20 and the big digits first.
20.
You gotta roll.
I'll get a zero. 24.
Alright. So two points of damage.
Poor puppy just bullet grazed
off its cheek.
And now it is
Lork's turn.
Okay. Nice use of the brace function
by the way. way yeah I've never
done it
lork will uh
lork will take a
stab at the
at the dog
uh
18 to hit
that's gonna hit
poor little pup
and I roll 83
on concealment
so we're good
uh
six points of
damage
um
and it dies
it's down
beautiful uh you killed it you killed the dog another one congratulations six points of damage. And it dies. It's down? Yeah.
Beautiful.
You killed a dog.
Another one.
Congratulations.
Murderer!
I'm more of a cat person.
Peter, if you'd like to email,
Lork.
I hereby present you with the Michael Vick Award
for most deadly against canines.
Too soon.
Don't worry.
Don't worry.
Nerds don't watch sports.
That's right.
I'm going to one One step up
Toward the
The chick
Step
Up
Okay
To the streets
The one dog
That's
Left
Goes to bite
Baron
Right
It's the dog in front of Baron
Yes
And
It misses
Poor little pup
With his Last Bite Could you make him sound More like Cujo Baron, yes. And it misses poor little pup with his
last bite.
Could you make him sound more like Cujo or
something so that we don't feel bad
killing him? It was just a
Pomeranian. Oh, God.
Three beautiful Pomeranians.
And Lorkin paled
one of them. They were on their way to a dog show.
They were just coming up to lick your face.
You get her, her busy bee.
It jumped to reach his face and then fell on his upturned spear.
This guy, the woman throws another javelin at Lork.
14, it's going to miss. It missed right off the armor. Ting! woman throws another javelin at Lorik. 14.
It's going to miss, I'm assuming.
Miss right off the armor.
And now it is Galabras' turn.
You guys are pros now.
Alright, I'm going to reload with a move action
and take another shot at the
beast mistress.
Beastress.
13. It's a miss I assume
uh
not with uh
Gormley's evil eye
it is a hit
oh I forgot about that
I know I say that a lot
like just for flavor
but it's actually true
like you
it wouldn't have hit
it's a hit
yeah
with uh
beat concealments
and
oh
8 damage
max damage
holy shit
nicely done capital A alright that's what you get for using dogs Oh, eight damage, max damage Holy shit Nicely done
Capital A
Alright
That's what you get for using dogs as a weapon
Alright, you know what that means
New round, new fortitude save
DC 17 this time
It'll be really tough
Failed, work failed
So does Gormur
Finally
Oh boy
As is tradition
I failed too
Oh Farron
Farron
Is this a poison spell
Or spell like ability
Uh no
Okay so I rolled a 15
So everyone failed
Everyone failed
So you're all
Immediately start vomiting
Right
Uh and you're all
Nauseated for this round
Uh
So the uh
You can take a move action.
Gormley.
Gormley will hold.
Jeepers, it's going to get even harder. Next round.
Baron.
I'll take a fucking
five foot step backwards.
Lork.
Can I drop my spear
and draw my
bow as part of this
move action
is that a move action
we always say it's part of a move action
and the dropping is free
sure drop free
then I'm going to come back 20 feet
don't forget to pick up your weapon
are you going to move and draw?
That's how we normally do it?
It's all part of the move?
Yeah, it's part of a move action.
Yeah, that's right.
Okay, and now the...
How far is this smoke encapsulated?
I mean, it's...
How deep...
Can we get out of it?
And still attack from range?
And remember, bows have... I could shoot 150 feet, 200 feet.
Is it a feasible option to get out of the smoke and still shoot at her?
If you moved your max movement away next round, you would be out of it.
But I don't know if you take a penalty to the range at that point.
Well, I would tell you what the range is.
You can let me know.
But yeah, if you move your max distance out next round,
then you will be out of it. Yeah, anything up to
200 feet. So 200 feet is the first
time I take a penalty. Oh, so yeah, you
would be out of it. Yeah.
But you have to walk through it to get through town.
Right. Okay, so the dog
steps up to
gnaw at Baron.
What a great five foot step.
20
hits. Shit.
These guys don't do too much.
Three points of damage.
Baron,
you're the right size for a dog
to just be gnawing at your crotch
and stuff.
And now the
beast tamer woman
steps up. Oh, mother.
She's not...
No one steps on a church in my town.
She
now swings an
orc double axe
at ya.
And misses.
Did you do concealment
on the dog?
I didn't.
Thank you for reminding me.
44.
Galabras?
Galabras.
I'm going to, with my move action,
I'm going to reload my light crossbow.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
DC 18 fortitude save. It's going to get
Unpassable
Got it
Wow
Lork failed
25
I passed
Alright so Lork's the only one
That didn't make it through
The guy that needed to
But at least you can take this turn to move away.
Okay, now is that your second fail in a row, Lork?
Yes.
All right, that...
So you're also going to take, for what it's worth,
you take five points of non-lethal damage,
and you continue to be nauseated.
And you just get this sense that you don't want to
fail a third one.
Gormley.
What round
are we in? Is she still hexed?
The Beast Mistress?
She's hexed for six, right? She's hexed until
next round. Oh, wait, she failed.
No, she succeeded, but then you cackled.
It ends after. This is the
last round. I have it written. It is written! So Gormley's going to cackled. It ends after. This is the last round. All right. I have it written.
It is written?
So Gromit's going to cackle to extend that.
Okay.
And then she's going to fire a crossbow at her.
She's going to take the minus four.
All right.
13.
Because, again, because that's what Galabras hit with,
was a 13. That shouldn't be a hit, but it is a 13. That shouldn't be a hit, but it is.
It shouldn't be a hit, but it is.
94 on the concealment.
I thought she had 94 damage.
She dead?
Nine points of damage. Awesome.
Nine points of damage and she had nine
hit points left.
Nice. So she is ferociously
still standing.
Baron, you're standing there next to a dog. Can I do a quick nice so she is ferociously uh still standing uh baron
you're standing there
next to a dog
can I do a quick
perception check
to tell
how injured
the orc mistress is
mhm
19
um
she's got
one
one attack left
you just know
from having fought
now
a couple dozen orcs
that she's got
one
one last ditch effort reload effort. Reloading
my weapon, and I'm going to
put my gun up to her temple, and I'm going to
say, say hello to your mother
for me.
I don't even know what that means.
This is a
15 against touch AC. Yeah, that's
definitely a hit.
Get her below con.
Eight points of damage.
Concealment. Oh, and my concealment. Eight points of damage. Consume it.
Oh, am I consuming it?
Thanks, Skit.
Thanks, buddy.
Really appreciate it.
I get really mad when anyone else does it to me.
30.
He made it.
30, yep.
Okay, she is still kicking.
Shit.
She gets a licking.
Shit.
Someone help me kill her before I get nauseated.
Lork, you are vomiting.
Vomiting? Vom are vomiting the dog bites Baron again
fuck this dog
and
it
somebody's getting a phone call the dog
misses and then the dog
runs out of the smoke it's choking
from the smoke and the dog takes off
so he and then Runs out of the smoke. It's choking from the smoke, and the dog takes off. So, he...
And then the orc beast tamer.
Now, if she has two attacks, she can't use them, right?
Because with ferocity, you just get that one last attack?
Or do you get a full attack action?
No, you get one standard action or one move action.
Wait, so I took her below zero, then?
Yeah.
Oh, great.
No, no, she was below zero already.
I shot her with a crossbow. You didn't get her enough negative
con to kill her. Oh, I would have just ran away then.
Oops. And she hit
with a 19.
Fuck. On her last
move. That hurts, man. Now you're just
wasting charges on our wand. Is there
concealment on that?
There is. Thank you, thank you.
84.
Right as she's falling to the ground,
just gashes you for eight points with an orc double axe.
Eight points?
And then falls to the ground as her last living dog,
at least, gets to run off and be free
and maybe start a new life as a chicken.
Shit, I'm sorry I didn't realize that she was
on a ramp. Oh, so we're out of combat?
Yeah. Can we
run through this cloud? I mean, what's
the deal? I'm going to the other
side, or if you want to like... I'm going to check her body
before I leave. Sure.
25.
Okay, roll a fortitude save real quick. Your friends have all run off. 25. Okay.
Roll a fortitude save real quick.
Your friends have all run off.
16.
Okay.
So you're just like,
you're vomiting on her corpse.
But you're able to discover two potions of cure light wounds,
two vials of acid,
leather armor if you want it. Regular leatherials of acid.
Leather armor if you want it. Regular
leather armor? Yep. Okay.
What are the vials?
Acid. Two vials of acid.
An orc double
axe, obviously.
36 gold pieces.
Yeah.
And a scabbard
that looks rather special.
Does it have gemstones on it?
It does.
Or anything metal?
No, it doesn't.
It just looks really nice.
Really ornate.
Okay, I'll take everything
but the leather armor
and the paddlax.
And I will run out
towards my friends.
Just covered in puke.
No, it's on her.
It's not on me.
That's right.
It's dripping down.
I'm a projectile vomiter. I didn't just go like a baby. It's a real thing. It's a real thing. Oh, yeah. It's on her. It's not on me. That's right. It's dripping down. I'm a projectile vomiter.
I didn't just go
like a baby.
It's a real thing.
It's a real thing.
Oh, yeah.
It's an affliction.
Okay.
So he comes running out.
He's got two potions,
two vials,
and it's really pretty scabbard.
These short little legs.
These tiny little legs.
Fuck you, man.
No, I don't care.
I'm a better height than you.
I just have to get in that dwarf line, so I'm not used to it.
Yeah.
Nice job.
Good call.
Do we have any idea?
The wet rag over your mouth that you wouldn't have got bonuses, so you might have saved a little less.
Do we have any?
Oh, we got bonuses?
Fuck me.
I'm kidding.
Please don't.
Do we have any idea why she was totally unaffected?
Was she wearing an apparatus,
or was she just so hardy from her orc genes that she was able to...
Well, it's some sort of...
I mean, the alchemical fire itself, the wildfire, for lack of a better term,
I mean, it's from them.
They made it.
Right, but napalm's from us, and if we get stuck in napalm,
we're going to burn to death.
Right, but it's...
Roll a retroactive knowledge local.
I cannot do that.
Some of us do.
But you could do...
21.
He has knowledge alchemy.
Oh, can I do knowledge alchemy?
Sure, sure.
21 knowledge local.
Yeah, yeah.
What did I roll 10
15
I'm sorry
18 knowledge local
yeah
she had this sort of
wild look in her eyes
like she had just
taken something
oh drugs
and so that would have
she was all hopped up
yeah
some sort of
potion or something
that would have
smack
PCP
you guys want to get wet?
oh my god
ride the snake
yeah she
she was
she probably was taking
something to
ride the snake
you gotta think
if like these guys
infiltrated the town
and had this plan
to do this
and now chemical fire
and what not
they also gave all their
people like things to
stim packs
you know
steal themselves
against this stuff
right
chemical warfare it is what it is it really is chemical warfare everybody roll Stimpaks. You know, steal themselves against this stuff. Right, right. Chemical warfare.
It is what it is.
It really is chemical warfare.
Everybody roll
a perception check.
12 for Lork.
18.
9 for Gormwick.
Galabras.
11.
Ooh, very low perception.
So you guys
get through the smoke.
You just wipe and puke
and blot off your sauce.
Oh, God. and only Galabras
hears down an
alleyway to your right
you hear these like guttural
voices of orcs and
we're nearing Lork's home
we're not too far away from that but
Galabras hears
this kind of
rough common move an inch and five of
my best will come to join us and they won't be as friendly as we are right urnsel right
what was that urnsel could you say that again move an inch and five of my best will come join us
and they won't be as friendly as we are.
Right, Ernstl?
Right!
Who's Ernstl?
Oh, the blacksmith, right?
The lady that left,
the former blacksmith that worked at Clamour
for a very short time.
Wasn't that the name?
On the Hope Knife.
Is that right?
It'd be great if we had a spreadsheet
with those names on it.
I'm booking.
By the way, Clivers. Yes, it was the apprentice those names on it. I'm booking. By the way,
it was the apprentice that was on there. I need some mega healing.
Son of a bitch.
Oh, shit, of course.
Mega healing.
And you hear,
please, please, please don't, please.
All right, before we do anything,
I'm going to use the wand on Baron.
Three.
Three.
Do it again.
Six. Nine. Baron Three Do it again Six Nine
I'm going to swallow my potion of cure light wounds too
We just got two more
So I'm going to swallow one of those
Okay so we have one more so who's going to take that
Nine
Not me
I'm carrying one
You're carrying one?
Yeah
So carry another one
Now you have two
I didn't want to keep it from other people if they needed it I was trying to be courteous I'm carrying one on that too. You're carrying one? Yeah. So carry another one. Now you have two.
I didn't want to keep it from other people if they needed it.
I was trying to be courteous.
Yeah, I'm sitting on one and a cure moderate, so I don't need it.
Would you like to hear about Ernstl or did we decide we knew? Yeah, tell us about Ernstl.
I'll read this because it's just too good.
Most likely a fake name.
This half-orc took a job working at Clamor only a few weeks ago It's just too good. Most likely a fake name.
This half-orc took a job working at Clamor only a few weeks ago and was delegated by Sarah to work on Roderick's Hope Knife Order.
Her name is on the receipt that was found in Roderick's room near his body.
She no-showed to work about three days ago and hasn't been seen since.
Shady shit.
That is some shady shit.
Grade A note-taking.
So you guys are outside
of this area
here around
more buildings
on your way
towards Lork's house
and the city walls
and
Galabras
you hear this happening
down the end of this
thin
alleyway
between two buildings
you notice these buildings
are
like
they're starting to like
be burnt
down to the ground like they're in to like be burnt down to the ground
like they're in much worse shape than
the other buildings. Better shape
than Sarah Morninghawks which collapsed to the ground
but they've been like decimated
and smashed through with axes
so that's what you see on either
side of this alleyway but Galabras you
hear this someone being threatened
or something at the end of that alleyway.
Alright so we're standing at one end of an alleyway.
I hear these voices coming from the other end.
I tell everybody what I hear.
I use the wand on Baron twice.
He drinks his potion.
And we should probably head down the alleyway.
Maybe we want to be stealthy about it.
I'll go down stealthy.
If you succeed, I'll follow.
25, nat 20, stealthy. I'll go down stealthy. If you succeed, I'll follow. 25.
Nat 20.
Stealthy.
I'll try it.
My chainmail's a little quieter now.
19 for Burma.
15 for Lork.
You start walking down, and Lork is too loud,
and you see the face of a woman,
a female orc,
look right,
turn around,
and look right at you, Lork.
So down the end of this alleyway,
it's super dark,
even though everything's kind of dimly lit
from all the smoke and whatnot,
this alleyway is very dark,
but you are just loud enough
that this female half-orc turns around
and she's got like this brand on her head,
like tattoo brand right on her...
Forehead.
Forehead, and she looks at you.
Roll for initiative.
Oh, it's just one after another after another.
This is really brutal, man.
Ooh.
I'd probably be first.
Yeah, you're putting Baron in front there.
Yeah, Baron's in front.
Lork's the one that caused the disturbance.
All right, so...
I don't know if you can...
Where are my 20s at?
21.
For Baron?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Gorms?
16.
16.
Lork? 7.hmm. Okay. Gorms? Sixteen. Sixteen. Lork? Seven.
I'm sorry. Six.
Six, six, six. Galabras?
Four.
I'm sorry, Gormley,
what'd you say? Sixteen.
Sixteen. Okay.
Shit, shit, shit.
So you see these two
half-orcs,
a woman and then a man dressed in kind of badass looking armor.
I'll put that up on the Tumblr as well.
Damn.
That does not look too friendly.
It's like World War Hulk.
Yeah, and it does look kind of Hulkish.
And there is just a human behind them cowering,
covered in bruises and blood.
Fuck.
Baron, you're up.
Do a little long episode here.
I'm enjoying this.
Is there any type of check I can do to determine which one seems hardier than the other?
You could do knowledge local. No, I can do to determine which one seems hardier than the other? You could do knowledge local.
No, I can't.
Okay, so I'm going to shoot at
the woman.
And I'm going to say, ladies first.
21 against touch.
21 against touch is
a hit.
Flew right out of the tray again.
Three points of damage.
Okay.
And then I'm going to take a five-foot step diagonally backwards
to be side-by-side with Lork.
Okay.
Lork, do you have a spear or what do you...
Bow.
Okay.
So the one in the armor
comes up to Lork.
And...
Do you have the spear, Lork?
No, I had the bow.
I was intending to shoot
whatever we found down this alley.
And it's going to attack with its greataxe
and it's going to cleave
and attack both
Lork and Baron
And you know you can do that
as not part of a full attack?
Like he can move and cleave?
He did
He just did?
He did I He just did?
He did.
I'm not sure.
It's okay.
Go ahead.
Skid, you've used cleave before.
Yeah.
Do you know?
Is that a full attack?
Oh, no.
I don't think it is a full. I don't know.
I can't remember.
No, it might not.
It's very well made.
I mean, it's a feat, so usually with feats you.
Right.
It's all right.
Don't worry about it.
Just do it.
Okay. Just's all right. Don't worry about it. Just do it. Okay.
Just fuck us up.
First one was...
Who did I say first?
Lork the Orc.
Yeah, it's a standard action.
Yeah.
I agree.
I concur.
Lork 18.
Oh, come on.
Yes.
Exactly.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Oh, boy. 1d12. Yes. Exactly. Sorry. Oh, boy.
1d12.
Plus something.
Two can play this game.
Just hits you for nine points of damage.
It says full round action here on Pathfinder SRD.
I just looked it up on Paizo's website.
It said standard.
As a standard action, you can make a single attack.
Get your full base attack bonus against a foe within reach.
All right.
And he pooped.
So now then, attacks Baron.
And 14?
14 is...
Is that Misra?
Exactly my AC.
Get out of town.
Unless they're giants.
Oh, no.
15 points of town. Unless they're giants. Oh no. 15 points of damage.
Oh my god.
Now, you would also know
metagaming-wise from Cleave that its AC
has been lowered by using Cleave.
Well, you do take
a negative two penalty
to your AC until your next turn.
That's literally
exactly what he just said.
Gormley.
Gormley's going to
evil eye the guy in armor.
You bitch.
For AC.
Oh, smart.
That's good
gaming.
We'll save?
We'll save? Yeah.
We'll save what you will.
Nine to 20, yeah.
Made it.
So, one round.
One round.
And Gormley will cackle
to extend it to two.
And what did you lower?
AC.
Oh, even lower?
All right, great.
Okay, so now that AC is
super low.
She whispers in Lork's ear,
you better hit him, big boy.
I know, right?
And now it is the other,
the female orc's turn.
She comes up and tries to acrobatics
through Baron's space.
So she's going to roll acrobatics
against your
fucking, whatchamacallit
CMD.
And she fails. So you get an attack
of opportunity against her. Sweet.
And she ends her turn right in front of you.
14
against Hutch.
Hits.
Four. Four points of damage
alright she swings a war hammer
at Baron
I don't like being alive anyway
ooh
hits
definitely
max damage
10 points of damage To Baron
When do I die?
Negative your constitution score
The full score
Not the bonus
The full score
Okay I got some
A little bit of time
But not much
Okay is Baron still standing
Or is he
No he's down
He's down
Okay
Lorik
Fuck I forgot
these guys were that
badass
uh can I
um
uh I had the
bow can I just
can I drop my
bow and
pull out an axe
and swing it at
this guy in front
of me
sure
if I'm not
moving
sure
uh
alright
I will
I'm gonna do
I keep forgetting
to do this
I'm gonna do it
now I'm gonna do a power attack hmm to do this, I'm gonna do it now. I'm gonna do a power attack.
Swing at the guy in front of me.
19 to hit, and that should hit.
He is minus four.
That's the guy with, oh yeah, that definitely hits.
Yeah.
So.
What is the power attack to you, for those listening?
18 damage.
18, and that's with the power attack damage?
That's with the power attack.? That's with the power attack.
Power attack with a two-handed weapon
is an additional plus four.
It's plus 50% of your bonus.
But you take a minus to your AC, right?
No, to hit.
But his AC was so low,
so I was like, this is the perfect time.
And it's only minus one to hit.
So power attack, minus to hit,
but bonus to damage.
Right.
So 18 points of damage. Right. So,
18 points of damage.
That fucked him up.
Below zero?
Galabras. No.
These guys are pretty tough.
I'm going to take a shot at him while he has the really low AC.
Okay.
I'm dying!
I know, but you're not going to die next round. I know, I know. I'm dying Foe I know but
You're not gonna die next round
I know
I know
I'm just joking around
13
14
Come on baby
What did you do Galabras?
Shotted him with a crossbow
So you rolled an 18?
Yeah
Which one was that again?
The one with the low AC
The one with the low AC
Yeah that hits.
Okay.
Are you relating?
Fuck yes.
There we go.
Seven damage.
Seven, all right.
All right.
God.
Nice shot.
Round.
Galabras.
Ooh.
Baron, unconscious.
Unconscious.
This guy, this armored fuck
swings its great axe
at Lork O'Brien
that's definitely a hit
26
oh boy, rolling fire over here
okay, not too bad, could have been a lot worse
8 points of damage
Gormley Gormlow fire over here. Okay, not too bad. Could have been a lot worse. Eight points of damage.
Gormley? Gormlow?
Gormley's gonna... Gormley's gonna fire
the crossbow at armor guy.
Okay, minus four to attack.
That's not gonna be good.
Eight. Eight, no.
And she'll reload.
Okay, and then...
No, she'll cackle to extend the hex.
Oh, because you didn't move, right?
That's smart.
So now that's going to last
until the fourth round.
Okay, the female orc.
This is some fucked up stuff going on here.
Okay, the female orc this is some fucked up stuff going on here okay the female orc is
going to now that
Baron is down is going to come
around
and attack Galabras
didn't want to but
yeah you did it was right there
I wanted to get around and
flank and it's going to do
a power attack
so
less chance of hitting
with a warhammer
but more damage
14
it's a miss
14 misses
oh my god
I was going to force
a potion down
Baron's throat
but then I figured
Calabros would channel
not if Calabros
is fucking dead.
Galabras can't get me back to zero.
Yeah, I can't. That's why I channeled.
The female with the tattoo on her head
swings the warhammer with all
of its strength and swung too hard.
Misses Galabras Lork.
It's my turn?
Yes, sir.
I am going to
shh. Yes, sir. I am going to...
Fuck, I am in an impossible fucking position.
I'm going to try to kill this guy.
But it's just not going to work.
Yeah, well.
Yeah, well.
All right.
I'll swing at this guy.
He's got a minus two to his AC.
Minus four, right?
He's still got a minus four, yeah.
Well, no.
He's just a minus two because he didn't cleave this round.
So 15?
15 hits still.
All right, that'll do it then.
Should at least.
I'm forgetting what the power uh ten
ten damage
alright he is uh
in the uh
in the neg zone
oh well it's still gonna
fucking fuck us up
that's what I'm saying
but wait is he
he's an orc
or is he a human
no he's an orc
oh
um
Galabras
I haven't tried doing the power attack
he looks like the incredible hawk
oh right okay
uh
that's actually the mini
he's wearing green paint, okay?
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
No, I can still move,
so I'll take a five-foot step back
away from him then.
Like where Baron's head is?
Okay.
Kicks Baron out of the way.
Do you provoke an attack from the woman?
Nope.
Okay.
No, it's just a five-foot step,
so I'm good.
I'm going to also take a five-foot step
away from this ugly lady
and channel.
Again, I'm going to use my gold-plated Roman dice.
Come on, make it a good one, Skid.
Make it good.
Two.
Two.
But at least Baron is stabilized.
So I won't lose any hit points now, but I'm going to stay where my negative
yeah you're still unconscious but you're not going to
keep bleeding out
that's good
alright round three
Baron you're still
still down
alright
the big guy
steps up to Gormley and will do a cleave All right, the big guy.
Steps up to Gormley and will do a cleave on Gormley.
I thought he was at the negative.
He moved and he died.
He moves and dies.
Yep.
Boom.
You can't five foot step?
That's a move action.
It's a move action.
Okay.
So.
Does he have any bulls?
He's kind of limited in what he can do.
I guess he just chucks a javelin then at Gormley.
I forgot he was at negative.
His final act.
15.
Miss.
Mage armor.
You still have mage armor?
Yeah, it's two hours.
Oh, I thought it was like a miss. All right. Gormley, as the javelin flies over. Boom! You still have mage armor? Yeah, it's two hours. Oh, I thought it was like a minute.
Alright, Gormley.
As the javelin flies over your head. Gormley's gonna
force a potion down Baron's throat.
Okay. Cure light wounds.
1d8, right? Plus one.
Three.
Did that do it? Still negative one.
Damn. Okay.
Something.
Now the girl looks panicked.
Ernstl.
Ernstl.
And she...
Surrender or die.
She power attacks Lork
with a war hammer.
Misses.
Thank God.
And now it's Lork's turn.
Lork will power attack back.
16.
16 exactly hits.
Perfect.
I'm trying to remember the power attack math.
17 points of damage. Holy shit. 17 points of damage.
Oh, shit.
17 points of damage?
That masterwork,
great axe,
it's disgusting.
That puts her in the negative.
Nice.
10 on a d12, man.
So now,
it's Galabras' turn.
Don't forget,
you guys have just been
killing these people
left and right.
This person's in the negative
and it's a while
until this next turn.
Galabras, you're up.
I'm going to step up here and use the Wands of Cure Light Wounds on Baron.
You're a real niche.
I try.
Five.
Five points.
Nice.
Troy's hint is not...
His point is well made that we have not interrogated any of these people about their strategies.
I think I'm going to start chugging potions of mage armor
and or take medium armor proficiency next round.
14 is pretty low.
Or get a medallion of natural armor or something like that.
Yeah, that'll help.
It's real low.
It is Baron's turn.
So, from my reclined position,
I'm going to reload my
weapon, and I'm
going to say... You don't waste a bullet?
From hell's heart, I stab at thee!
No, I'm just going to wait.
Probably. She can't move
towards me? No, she cannot.
I'll just stand up. How about that?
One action left
and I'll reload as well.
Okay, Gormley?
Well, alright.
So she's in the negative.
So we can stabilize her
after she goes unconscious if we want to question her.
You can kill her, you can stabilize her,
you can let her die, but she'll have one more attack.
So let's just let her die.
Yeah, don't shoot her with a crossbow bolt.
You don't want to ask her questions, though.
Yeah.
Well, you'd need to stabilize her to stop her from dying.
Right, but what I'm saying is just don't kill her now, and we can stabilize her after
she goes unconscious.
Yeah.
I'll hold.
Okay, Gormley holds. after she goes unconscious. Yeah. I'll hold. Okay.
Gormley holds.
We're already in action.
If something happens
that she moves towards me to attack,
I will full withdraw.
She takes a step back
and just yells,
Come!
Come at them!
And falls to the ground and is now
dying.
And it's Lork's turn.
Lork is going to chug a potion
of cure moderate wounds.
Okay.
Galabras.
Should we stabilize her?
Yeah, I'm going to run up and use the healer's kit to stabilize her.
Okay.
Well, you can.
It's a cantrip for you to stabilize.
Right?
It's a zero level spell.
Or am I thinking of? Actually, it's a zero level spell Or am I thinking of
Actually it's
It's a zero level spell
Oh say it
No you're right
You're right
Yeah I stabilize her
With the cantrip
Or Orison
Can I have that heal kit then
So I can stabilize you
If you go down
Sure
Or should I just take it from you
When you're dead
Yeah
Take it off my cold dead body
Okay
Are we still in combat? No you are You are currently still in combat
no you are
you are currently
out of combat
okay so
I am
so just to describe
the scene
you know Baron's
on his back
he's reloading
his gun
Lork is chugging
a potion
Galabras just
stabilized
Ernstle
and Gormley
you're
I read it in action
you're just reading
you're just kind of
kind of just
like moving back and forth like what, what's going to happen?
What's going to happen next? And then there's this man
cowering in the back of the alley that's
been all, like, fucked up by these two.
So...
So, yeah, I mean, if
we're out of combat, Lurk will chug the potion, and
then he'll walk down the alley
to, you know, lead
the guy out to the... tell him to go to
the longhouse. I'll tie Ernst up with the hemp rope
we got from the man in the well.
Yeah, so while they take care of Ernst,
I'll take care of the guy.
And the guy's like, oh, thank you.
Thank you.
They were killing me.
They were sticking me with needles.
You saved my life.
What do you mean sticking you with needles?
I don't know.
They were just prodding me with these things.
I feel sick.
All right.
There's a triage tent back at the barricade.
Get yourself back there
and get some medical care.
Where is that?
Down that way?
Yes, over here on the map.
I'm not even from here.
Where are you from?
I'm from Lastwall.
I'm just visiting
a trade partner.
Oh.
Please.
Thank you so much.
I know for sure
my life was almost over.
Take this.
And he hands you this, these beautiful platinum merchant scales.
Dope.
He's like, thank you.
I was just here on business, and you saved my life.
Please, please save the rest of them.
I gotta go.
Eat bolts.
Gormley's gonna search the body of the Hulk orc.
Yeah, good call there
19 perception
you find three potions
you also find a
masterwork breastplate
another masterwork greataxe
and 124 gold pieces
yeah there we go
and spellcrafts the potions
sure you said 124 gold pieces. Yeah, there we go. And spellcrafts the potions?
Sure.
You said 124 gold?
Yes.
26 spellcrafts.
Ooh, you find a potion of bull strength,
a potion of enlarged person.
Oh.
Caster level third.
And a potion of cure moderate wounds.
Excellent.
All right, I'll take the potion of cure moderate wounds. You said? All right, I don't need that All right, I'll take the potion. Cure moderate wounds, you said?
Yeah.
All right, I don't need that.
I'll take it.
I just used mine, so I'll take another one.
Ernst was like, just kill me, please.
Just get it over with. For the rest of our healing needs,
do you have enough charges to just charge us back?
Should we save our potions?
Yeah, I can use the wand.
Okay, great.
Bull strength, what was the second one?
Enlarge person. or yeah I saw I can use the wand okay great both strength what was the second one enlarged person
just kill me
and get it over with
you'll die soon enough
but first we have
some questions
what do you want to know
who the fuck are you
who are you
who are you
I asked you first
you got me out of
technicality
the name's Ernst
Gormley walks
Walks back over
Sits down next to Ernst
And with a long
Fingernail
Starts to
Trace the tattoo
On the forehead
Roll an intimidate check
Twelve Get your hands off of me Bitch 12
get your hands off of me bitch
I love it
Gormley does not
move her hands
my friend will continue to be creepy
towards you as you ask
answer all our questions
um
anybody have intimidate
yeah Lork does so Lork will step up
and
Lork will step up and roll intimidate
19
I have no
options left I'm afraid
of punishment at the hands of my
orc masters their abuse
is nothing new to me anyway what What do you want to know?
My life's over anyway.
What's your deal?
Did you say you're an autumn or a spring?
I'm a winter.
What do you want to know?
What's the plan?
What was the plan?
What are you looking for in this town?
I don't know.
I don't know.
It's just a small pawn in the whole scheme, I'm sure. What were you looking for in this town? I don't know. I don't know. I... It's just a small pawn
in the whole scheme, I'm sure.
What were your orders, sweetie?
My orders were to oppose
and as an apprentice for that
butch morning hawk.
I stole the hope knife and I hid
with the other half-orcs in Trunau.
That was all I was told to do.
Where were the orcs hiding?
All throughout the city.
We've infiltrated the entire town.
Who is your master, and where is he?
Now I have no master,
but my boss was a man named Screed.
He's the mastermind behind the entire plot,
and he's the one that killed Roderick.
Not me. I may have stole the Hope Knife, but he killed him.
You'll have to find him if you want to know more. That's all I know. Is he here? Is he's the one that killed Roderick. Not me. I may have stole the Hope Knife, but he killed him. You'll have to find him
if you want to know more. That's all I know.
Is he here? Is he outside the walls?
Who knows? Probably not.
You do. I don't.
He keeps... I'm sure you've
encountered more people like this before, and everyone
that I've run into, everyone only knows a certain amount
of information. He's good.
But you should go.
You should go before you die.
Who are you calling for? Who's coming in?
Who's the reinforcements?
There's people next door.
Just let me go, please.
How many people?
There's five. There's five more.
And they're in that house.
Are they all shitty orcs like you?
And she points to your house.
Oh, fuck. Shit. And they're in that house. Are they all shitty orcs like you? And she points to your house.
Oh, fuck. To Lork's house.
And she says there's five.
There's five.
Including Lork's dead son.
Including Lork's son, you would assume.
You would assume he's dead.
Yeah.
Fuck.
All right, Lork is going to...
And just get ready to go in that house.
So Lork runs to the end of the alleyway,
and just as you do,
there are five orcs standing in front of your house,
waiting, because they heard Ernstl crying out.
Fuck.
And the biggest one among them
is holding your adopted son
by his hair,
on his knees in front of him,
in front of the group of orcs.
And you see this.
And he slits his throat
right in front of you.
Fuck.
And then throws his corpse into the ground. Outro Music