The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 16 - The Killing Choke Part II - Choker's Wild

Episode Date: September 15, 2015

Lorc and company race to find his adopted son and a long sought after piece of the puzzle comes to light. But first, they must survive a bout with a lung-searing cloud of alchemical smoke and the sava...ge beastmistress within! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast... He's the mastermind behind the entire plot, and he's the one that killed Roderick. Not me. I may have stole the Hope Knife, but he killed him. A powerful servant of the enemy is questioned. What do you want to know? Who the fuck are you? Who are you? Who are you? I asked you first.
Starting point is 00:00:18 Come here, Taktikaldi. But not before the Dogs of War are unleashed. It was just a Pomeranian. Oh, God. Three beautiful Pomeranians. And Lork and Bale, they were on their way to a dog show. Lork's focus turns to his home. Yeah, Lork's going to try to keep heading towards his home.
Starting point is 00:00:42 And still on the lookout for your son. Yeah. Will he be too late? There lookout for your son. Yeah. Will he be too late? There are five orcs. Fuck. The biggest one among them is holding your adopted son by his hair on his knees in front of him. The adventure continues. What's going on? It's your old pal Troy doing the intro for this week. We've mentioned this before, but I don't think enough can be said about what huge fans we are of Paizo and the Pathfinder system.
Starting point is 00:01:28 And we don't work for them or anything. They're not giving us money to plug them. Although, if anyone at Paizo is listening and wants to hire us to be their official adventure path game testers slash podcasters, you know where to find us. But seriously, I mean, clearly D&D is the spiritual grandfather to all of this, and there is no Pathfinder without D&D, but we are huge Pathfinder marks.
Starting point is 00:01:54 I mean, between the five of us, we're in the middle of five different Pathfinder adventure paths as we speak, and we even created a little NYC Pathfinder Society to play their one-off modules and help bring some of our other friends into the hobby. I'll tell you, Paizo puts out quality content every single month, including two new adventure paths a year, releasing one new book every month along with multiple minor and major releases
Starting point is 00:02:19 with new races, classes, enemies, weapons, spells, you name it. Everyone's favorite badass from last week, the Scald, was actually a hybrid class from their advanced class guide that came out recently. I put a link to it on the Tumblr too. It's a fantastic book. Introduces 10 new base classes that are like mashups of other base classes. So the Scald was a bard-barbarian mashup. They also have the Warpriest, which is like a cleric fighter, and my personal favorite, the Slayer,
Starting point is 00:02:49 which is a ranger rogue. Awesome. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. They just released a book last month called Occult Adventures, which adds six new insane occult-based classes, like a psychic, a kineticist, a mesmerist, I think, and shit like that. Just talking about it, I want to roll up a fucking slayer, psychic, bard, triple, multiclass weirdo right when I'm done recording this.
Starting point is 00:03:14 I love multiclassing. I wonder if our giant slaying heroes, if they survive the Battle of Bloodmarch Hill, if any of them will multiclass. Hmm, very curious. I can remember when I was playing Kid trying to multiclass. It was brutal. You earned like half the experience points for everything you did when you multiclassed. So you basically never leveled up. It sucked.
Starting point is 00:03:36 Not so with Pathfinder. Now I'm sure they cleaned that shit up with D&D 5th edition though. I would know though because I only play Pathfinder. Although Sword Coast Legends, coming soon to all video game systems, uses the D&D 5e rules, it looks pretty amazing, and that's probably the
Starting point is 00:03:52 closest I'll ever come to ever playing D&D again. Until then, it's Pathfinder all the way. Be sure to visit paizo.com, P-A-I-Z-O dot com, and spend all of your hard-earned money on escaping the awfulness of this world through the magic of fantasy. In the meantime, the battle rages on in episode 16,
Starting point is 00:04:11 The Killing Choke Part 2, Joker's Wild. Here you stand atop of this crenellated tower. He's going back to the crenellated. Looking out at the devastation below you In the distance, near the hope spring Lots of orcs Lots of Just causing a ruckus So poetic
Starting point is 00:04:34 And another waves and waves of orcs Seeming to charge towards the main gates And another waves? Of inner Trinow So many waves Does she sound a little bit like dr ruth you in the distance a giant hurling boulders at the facade you stand over the body of a orc scarred as his drum has made its last beat. What do you do?
Starting point is 00:05:05 I take his drum and start beating on it. Do-ka-do-ka-do-ka-do-ka-do. You all start. Just to contradict what you just said. No, we should search the body. Yeah, we'll search. Search the body. All these bodies.
Starting point is 00:05:18 Searching the bodies. Okay, who's searching what? 23 on the skull. Okay, you find a... I'm just going to read what they are. You find a potion of cure moderate wounds. That'll come in handy. And you find one, two, three, four, five scrolls.
Starting point is 00:05:46 Ooh. And also a wand of cure light wounds. Yes. Christ. Yes. In addition, you find a masterwork chain mail. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:05:59 Masterwork light steel shield. Masterwork battle axe. Yeah. And war drums nice that's a good haul and an anti-toxin never know when you need that can I spellcraft the scrolls yeah yeah I'm not going to say
Starting point is 00:06:17 roll for each one just give me a good roll natty 20 there you go I'm going to tell you what they all are I've seen these scrolls before So you get a scroll of cause fear A scroll of charm person
Starting point is 00:06:31 A scroll of grease I like that A scroll of remove fear And a scroll of summon monster 1 So I think remove fear and summon monster one is Galabras. I can also summon monsters. Or Gormley. But you also need to be evil eyeing, I think.
Starting point is 00:06:55 So if I can, if they are, remind me how scrolls work, I'm sorry. So if I can cast them, I can perform a procedure to learn them or just use them? Yes, yes. You can, if it's within the wizard or the witch spell list, you can infuse it into your familiar and learn it permanently
Starting point is 00:07:14 if it's in the witch spell list. Yes. If it's not in the witch spell list, then you can't do anything with it. You've got to give it to the class that can. Which reminds me, if we're going to go out and fight this giant, I should probably read that scroll of
Starting point is 00:07:30 bark skin. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah. I just don't know. Well, we'll see. We'll see. Curious. So I'm going to take I'll take the summon monster and remove fear scrolls is that okay
Starting point is 00:07:46 okay uh what about how many charges does the wand have uh the wand has 20 of cure light wounds yeah 24 oh yes fucking awesome wow that keeps it going we can going. See? They're not out to get you. They're mostly out to get you. So I can take cause fear, I think. It's remove fear. Remove fear? Well, I thought there was a cause fear. No, there was one of cause fear also. Yes, there was.
Starting point is 00:08:18 You're right. Sorry. Well, I mean, if you guys are going to cast these, you think in the next session, then we can try and allot them all out. But otherwise, we can do that later. Yeah, I think that we're going to allot them all out because we don't know what we're up against.
Starting point is 00:08:32 Okay, sure, sure, sure. This is bare bones. We need to have everything on guard. Far be it from me to steamroll then, please. We're certainly not going to sleep. Scroll of Charm. You can always cast Scroll of Sleep. Actually, am I well rested now that I've woken?
Starting point is 00:08:46 Yes, I have to say. I'll take that as a yes. I'm not dignifying that. What about Grease? Is that on the witch spell list? No, Sorcerer or Wizard. Okay, shit. So can we explain non-lethal damage?
Starting point is 00:09:02 Because I took seven points of it with that bola. Yeah, so basically it runs right alongside regular damage as a separate calculation and if your non-lethal damage ever equals your total hit points you fall unconscious and you're not dying but you fall unconscious but say i started with 10 hit points and i took seven points of non-lethal damage. I now have three hit points. Right. If your non-lethal damage ever equals your total hit points that you like have. I'm just saying after that battle, I don't get back the non-lethal damage now, do I? No, but it's healed just like regular hit points at the same time.
Starting point is 00:09:38 So if he channels positive energy and heals you for three hit points, you heal three regular and three of the non-lethal. It goes away. I mean, that's how I understand it. Yeah, non-lethal damage is a little quirky. It's hard to keep track of. Yeah, it's a totally separate tracking thing. And very rarely have I ever experienced in a game a character actually going down from non-lethal damage.
Starting point is 00:09:58 They're just to keep you on your toes because you could die from it if it ever equals. No, you can't ever die from it. If it goes below your con with non-lethal, like if you took 40 points of non-lethal damage because you could die from it if it ever equals. No, you can't ever die from it. If it goes below your con with non-lethal, like if you took 40 points of non-lethal damage and you only had five hit points left, you can die. No, it's non-lethal. That's the whole point of it.
Starting point is 00:10:14 The word lethal means kill you. It's non-lethal. So the worst it can do is just knock you unconscious? Correct. Non-lethal is more often used by party characters to keep someone who might have information alive. Right. Yeah, use it to subdue people. Yeah, knock them out, stuff like that. Good point.
Starting point is 00:10:32 I must have misread it. Okay, so... So of those spells, I already know Summon Monster one. I don't have it prepared for today. So I would say, why don't you take that one? Okay, cool. Yeah, so Galabras takes Remove Fear and Summon Monster, and you take Cause Fear.
Starting point is 00:10:48 And then we'll eventually sell Grease and Remove Fear if we survive or if any merchants survive. No one can use Grease? Nope. That's a bummer. I like that spell. That's a great spell, but we don't have a wizard. Or sorcerer. This is good, though.
Starting point is 00:11:02 I just realized where you guys don't have any spells left for the most part. Now you've got some if you can pass your concentration. Summon a monster. That would help. Cure moderate wounds. Potion. Who wants to take that? You should take that.
Starting point is 00:11:16 Yep. You have the most hit points. Okay. I'll take cure moderate. Or should we give it to the cleric to administer to you? No. No, because I already have other killing stuff I can do. You should give it to Howie.
Starting point is 00:11:29 Howie has enough spells. I am going to take and put on the Masterwork Chainmail and literally just dump my other Chainmail right here where we stand and keep moving with a better set of armor. Oh wow, so you just upgrade your armor. Nice.
Starting point is 00:11:44 What does it do really? I know it helps with Arcane and keep moving with a better set of armor. Oh, wow. So you just upgrade your armor. Nice. Yeah. I mean, it doesn't... What does it do, really? I mean, I know it helps with, like, arcane spell failure. Yeah, it's your skill penalty. Yeah, your skill penalty goes down. Yeah. So it's great. It's awesome.
Starting point is 00:11:55 Wait. So if I were to wear that, would it be the same skill penalty as, like, a light armor? No, but it's heavy armor it's still heavy armor chamiel's medium armor it is yeah plate plates heavy armor uh i always forget that let's say it's not a category less it's just like less because there you have a penalty like a numerical penalty to like physical skills based on the armor you're wearing right so the numerical penalty is less if for one less for masterwork but it doesn't it doesn't turn turn medium armor
Starting point is 00:12:33 into light armor correct yeah all right so um there's a giant in the distance and we saw cursed riding into battle and uh we have a uh the what have the front gate or whatever has been breached, and orcs are pouring into the city. Is that what we're looking at? It's starting to be breached. You noticed from atop the thing that there are waves of orcs attacking the Portcullis. Is there a way to shore it? Maybe we should see if we can shore up the Portcullis. You're still a ways off from there.
Starting point is 00:13:05 So there's like, uh, we'd have to get out of town. There's just, there's other things going on right now. You're from where you are. You guys are making your way to the center of town. Okay.
Starting point is 00:13:14 Um, but we were just getting a chance to see far into the distance. Right. And you saw that. And now Lork, you as a side note, uh, are also,
Starting point is 00:13:22 um, you're aware of what your mission is and you're aware of what the situation is but you are getting closer and closer to your home right
Starting point is 00:13:30 and I got my son is in the militia your son is in the militia and last you knew he was at home right and your
Starting point is 00:13:39 home is over here ish like so it's over here for the fans at home it's over here you know so it's kind here. For the fans at home, it's over here. You know, so it's kind of like on the north,
Starting point is 00:13:49 northeastern, northwestern side of the city, right before the gates. Let's assume Lork knows where it is better than you. Yeah, right. Sorry, I haven't lived there in a while.
Starting point is 00:13:59 So we should be, we were supposed to head towards the Hope Spring, eventually, which was one of our... Right, so were supposed to head towards the Hope Spring eventually, which was one of our... Right. So right now you're securing the buildings, making sure everyone's safe, killing orcs and taking names.
Starting point is 00:14:12 So now you can make your way through the middle of the city and presumably to find out what's going on with the barricades. Maybe Lork wants to check out his house. And also a tower on the south side just completely collapsed. And you saw a bunch of people die as that happened. So you basically now would want to make your way through the middle part of town. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 00:14:34 Do it. Gormley turns around and hops off the side of the tower. Don't waste your spell. I can cast it at will. Oh, well, then by all means. By all means, waste it. Show off. All right. Cast it on each of us as we jump off as well. I can only do at will Oh well then By all means By all means waste it Show off Alright cast it on each of us
Starting point is 00:14:47 As we jump off as well I can only do it on myself Calabrus might I have a hit Of your Wand of pure light wounds I'll also take a hit Yeah I will I'm actually gonna need a few hits
Starting point is 00:14:57 Both of Well first Lork Seven Nice You got 24 uses on that bad boy You still got the old one right Still using the old one Nice Well, first lork, seven. Nice. You've got 24 uses on that bad boy. You've still got the old one, right? I'm still using the old one.
Starting point is 00:15:09 Nice. And how much are you down now? I'm down eight. All right. One more shot. Three. Oh. And I'll give you another one for good measure.
Starting point is 00:15:23 Eight. All right. I'm a full. There we go. All right. So I've got one charge left in the old wand. I'm going to use it on Baron. Five. Fizzles.
Starting point is 00:15:36 Turns dark. Wand gone. Wand Gonzalez. Break it over your knee. You still need healing? You're still down? I'm still down. What are you down?
Starting point is 00:15:49 15 out of 19. Yeah, I'm going to give you another shot. And you're back to max. Sweet. Gormley, how are you feeling? I'm at full, actually. Also, I'm off the tower. I'm hanging out down.
Starting point is 00:16:04 Gormley, how are you doing? Gormley! Okay, and I'm off the tower. I'm hanging out down. Gormley! How are you doing? Gormley! Okay, and I'm basically fine, so we're good. Alright. Alright, a little housekeeping in the middle of this battle. So you guys, will you make your way down and try to cut through the middle of town?
Starting point is 00:16:20 Yeah, Lork's going to try to keep heading towards his home and try to take care of any civilians he sees along the way. And still on the lookout for your son. Yeah. Um, as you, uh, start to walk through town. Now, if you remember back a few episodes ago, um, when you first came into the inner quarter, a, uh, boulder came flying through the air, lit the trees in the middle of town on fire as it was flying through. through the air, lit the trees in the middle of town on fire as it was flying
Starting point is 00:16:44 through, and that's what crashed into Sarah Morninghawk in a great Standix house slash shop. So now as you walk through, those trees are still lit with fire. And these thick plumes of pea green
Starting point is 00:17:00 smoke billow into the air here around the middle of town. Did it take a matcher? One second. smoke billow into the air here around the middle of town. Detect magic? One second. There were three big trees that are now completely ablaze with this green alchemical fire. You just know without even detecting magic that it's alchemical
Starting point is 00:17:17 fire and the air reeks of sulfur and ashes. Brimstone. So, yeah. As you start to walk through, it becomes very, very, very thick, and the air is reminiscent of what you guys had to deal with when you were fighting
Starting point is 00:17:35 with Sarah Morninghawk. As you... Just to remind you, they're out there. That's her. That's Sarah. As you come closer to it, you see this woman, this green woman in the middle of it, like reveling in the destruction. And she's like breathing in this air and doesn't seem to be affecting her. But you yourself are starting to get choked up.
Starting point is 00:18:02 And then you can't really see because there's a lot of smoke. But she's got some sort of chain she's holding onto. And at the end of the chain are three rabid-looking dogs. Oh, gross. And she comes right out of the smoke as the smoke
Starting point is 00:18:20 kind of surrounds all of you. Roll for initiative. Gormley, it's time to shoot another crossbow bow. More fortitude saves. Awesome. Ooh. Alright. What kind of dice I was using?
Starting point is 00:18:37 Oh, this is your kind. Sweet. Okay, so where my 20's at? 23 24 for Gromley Oh, fuck you
Starting point is 00:18:48 Gromley never won to Wow To disappoint on the old initiative rolls You know who you can thank for that? Howie Howie The green stink scorpion Thanks, Howie
Starting point is 00:18:58 Alright, so you get three dogs And this orc beast tamer Lork, what'd you get? 18 18 for Lork I what'd you get? 18. 18 for Lork. I'm sorry, 17. And Galabras? 12.
Starting point is 00:19:12 12 for Galabras. And what's your initiative modifier? Zero. Zero. Okay, I'm sorry, Lork, what'd you say you got? 17. 17 and Baron was a 20. Okay.
Starting point is 00:19:26 23. Remind me how, so if I wanted to read one of these spells, or read the scroll to cast the spell in combat, I'd have to roll a concentration spell? If it's Summon Monster 1, you don't have to roll anything because you're already an expert at the spell. It's not that. Oh, that's right.
Starting point is 00:19:41 If it's Cause Fear, it depends on, do you know, did you look up what level cause fear is? Wait, you still have to roll if you're in combat, though. Not if you're not under immediate melee attack. Yeah, not in melee. That's what I'm saying. That's what he was asking. Level one.
Starting point is 00:19:56 Like when the Skald tried to cast it, he couldn't. No, I don't think he's asking if he's under attack. Just to read it in general. But if we're in a combat situation, I can just read it? Yes. Well, it depends on what level is the spell. Level one. Then, yeah, you can just read it.
Starting point is 00:20:10 Oh, great. It's a spell from your class, from your list of a level you can cast. So you can just read it and cast it. As long as you're not under a melee threat, immediate melee threat. Great. All right, cool.
Starting point is 00:20:25 Okay, so this cloud surrounds all of you. This smoke is billowing. A couple things are going to happen. Everyone has concealment, just as before. You can't see five feet in front of your face, so you've got to roll a D100 for every single physical attack. Partial concealment, like 20% mischance? 20% mischance, yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:44 Okay. physical attack. And it's partial concealment? Like 20% mischance? 20% mischance, yeah. Okay. And also, you have to tell me how you want to deal with this smoke inhalation. Is there anything you're going to do to try and combat it? Yeah, I want to
Starting point is 00:20:56 dip a cloth into water, like just water on the ground or out of the well that was there, and wrap it around my face. Okay. What do you want to do, Galabras, if anything? I'm going to create water and I'm going to
Starting point is 00:21:14 tear my tunic and get into squares, give everybody who doesn't have one, dip it in the water and we're just created over the squares so we can cover our mouths with it. Okay. So you guys all take that for the lab.
Starting point is 00:21:27 Okay. So roll a fortitude save and you get a plus two for doing that. Okay. Critical fumble. Okay. 18 for Lork.
Starting point is 00:21:39 Lork's fine. 22. Calabras is fine. Fortitude? Mm-hmm. 22. Calabras is fine. Fortitude? 16. Alright, it's only Gormley. It's a 5 if that matters. Gorms.
Starting point is 00:21:57 Gormley. Gorm. They took her germs. I read that this name was anglicized to Barbara. Gormley, you are nauseated. Oh, man. And it is your turn. Oh, we have that stuff.
Starting point is 00:22:14 Remove sickness. The thing from the bartender. We have, yeah, the vials of soothing syrup. It is, just so you know, it's Gormley's turn, and nauseated means you can only take a move action. You cannot attack, cast spells, or concentrate. But it is your turn.
Starting point is 00:22:36 So if I were to take one, how long do I know how long I'm not going to be nauseated for? Am I nauseated for permanent? Right now, you're nauseated for one round. Okay. four am i nauseated for permanent uh right now uh you're nauseated for one round uh okay should i take one of those to the you can't you can't who has them oh i can't even that's like let's assume that if we didn't divide them up that if it helps people probably calabras has them yeah uh so yeah but you can't do anything but move.
Starting point is 00:23:06 So you can move if you'd like. Otherwise, that's it. Just so you know, with Soothe Syrup, for one hour after drinking Soothe Syrup, you gain a plus five alchemical bonus on saving throws made to resist effects that would make you nauseated or sickened. Oh, so I would have had to take it before? Yeah, it still will work. All right, I'm going to ready in action. Because you're going to have to keep making these saves. Can I ready in take it before. Yeah, it still will work. All right, I'm going to ready an action. I'm going to have to keep making these saves.
Starting point is 00:23:27 Can I ready an action? Sure. When I become not nauseated, I'm going to evil eye the dog handler? Or does that not work? No, because that's going to be like a next round. Next round? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:44 All right, so I'll just stay where we are. Yeah, I mean, you can hold your move action, or you can take a move. All right, I'll hold my move action in case I need to move. You basically want to make that save next round. Baron. So I can't see more than five feet in front of my face, correct? I mean, how does it work?
Starting point is 00:24:04 You can see. You can make out work? You can see. To attack, you just gotta roll. You can make out shapes. So how far away is she? She's like 25 feet away? You can reach her. No, she's a lot more than 25 feet. She's like 50 feet away. No, she's...
Starting point is 00:24:21 She's 35 feet away. Or 40. Yeah, 30-something. She's 30 feet away. Or 40. Yeah, 30, 30 something. She's 30 feet away. So I'm going to move 10 feet closer. Okay. And I am going to... fire at one of the dog shapes because I don't think I'm going to really be able to disable her
Starting point is 00:24:40 and I think these dogs are going to get up close in our face. So, I'm are going to get up close in our face so I'm just gonna I'm gonna up close and deadly the one to her far left so that one fumble oh wait wait wait wait which I don't know if I need to take a car, too, but my weapon misfires, and it currently has a broken condition. Yeah, we said before that you take the broken penalty, and then you roll again to confirm the fumble. If you confirm the fumble, then you take a card. Okay.
Starting point is 00:25:21 That's a 17 Against touch So it's just broken Okay so I'm done Barone Okay it is Lork's turn I'm going to try something here
Starting point is 00:25:38 I've never done before Lork is going to Take a five foot step here And He is going to take a five foot step here And he's going to Brace his long spear Against a Charging attack From the dogs
Starting point is 00:25:53 So if the dogs are released on him And they run at him In that attack of opportunity If he hits he does double damage I like that So he's basically bracing the spear down. And sure enough, on the next turn, she releases the
Starting point is 00:26:10 chains and the dogs come running. The first dog runs at Lork. Alright. So I get an attack of opportunite. 15. 15 hits. Yeah! Alright. Oh, back 15 15 hits yeah
Starting point is 00:26:27 alright oh back to the one d8 24 damage maximum damage you impale the dog through its throat
Starting point is 00:26:37 and the spear comes out its ass wow it's dead wow awesome now you can't do that multiple times
Starting point is 00:26:43 can you or I would think not i mean it's not an attack of opportunity it says if you if you use a readied action to set a brace weapon against the charge you deal double damage on a successful hit against a charging creature so i mean it doesn't say anything about it being an attack of opportunity right it's a readied action so you don't have uh you can't take multiple attacks of opportunity, right? Right. But that wasn't an attack of opportunity. That's what I'm saying is the bit of the question mark.
Starting point is 00:27:11 I mean, it's a ready to action against these things. So I don't know if that counts as my standard action or if he just ran into my thing and I was ready for it. Right now, I think you have one attack of opportunity left, but you've already readied that action. You're no longer bracing for something. Oh, I got you. So I could do it again, but it would be an attack of opportunity and not double damage. Right. That's what you're no longer bracing for something rushing. Oh, I gotcha. So I could do it again, but it would be an attack of opportunity and not double damage, is what you're saying. This dog rushes right up to you
Starting point is 00:27:29 and you get your attack of opportunity. Just because of the reach. Yeah. Okay. It's a dog. It wouldn't know any better. Nine. Misses.
Starting point is 00:27:36 So it goes to bite you, because that's what dogs do. Critical threat for the bite. God damn it. Little bastard. Eighteen. Critical threat for the bite. God damn it. Little bastard. 18. Hit. Confirms.
Starting point is 00:27:50 Concealment. Oh. Oh, well. Yeah, I didn't roll it, but it ran at my spirit of standing still. It wasn't an attack. Right, it was a weird- That works.
Starting point is 00:28:00 93, yeah. Works. Not too bad. Joe, four points of damage on a critical bite and then the other dog rushes at Baron to bite him, I'm just going to roll my D100
Starting point is 00:28:15 with it 80 and it hits 4 4 points of damage. Just latches onto your leg. That's actually a pretty good dog sound there, buddy. Frank Welker, ladies and gentlemen. Frank Welker.
Starting point is 00:28:37 And the other one, the mad woman, she's like, my dog! My sweet dog! Steps up and throws a javelin at Gormley. Ooh, shit! Bitch! I'm rolling my D1 hondo as well.
Starting point is 00:28:58 Misses, and because of concealment, missed. Nice. Javelin sails over your head. And it is now Galabras' turn. I am going to... Oh, fuck. Yeah, I'm going to take a shot at... I see, I'm going to take a shit.
Starting point is 00:29:18 I'm going to take a shot at the Beast Mistress. Okay. With the crossbow. And miss. Alright, alright. And round two, everybody roll a fortitude save. Remember, you get a plus two, but now it's DC 16.
Starting point is 00:29:36 Lurk passed. Gormley passes. Good. 23. 20. Alright. The whole crew. And Gormley you start fresh You don't want It's the consecutive
Starting point is 00:29:47 Nauseated stuff Where bad stuff starts to happen So you guys are reset And good And now it is Gormley's turn You just wipe vomit From your chin And go
Starting point is 00:29:57 So Gormley's gonna evil eye The beast mistress Does concealment have an effect with that? No We've said that before It's not an attack Alright great So she'll evil eye for AC. Okay.
Starting point is 00:30:08 A little will save action. Oh, 20. So for one round. One round she is... And Gormley will cackle to extend that to two. You son of a bitch. Always with the cackling. Cackling.
Starting point is 00:30:23 Alright, so that'll be until round four. Okay, it is Baron's turn. You got this dog up in your face. I am going to... So I have a feat called Quick Clear, which allows me to remove the broken condition from my firearm as a standard action. As long as I have one grip point,
Starting point is 00:30:42 I'm going to use my only grip point to change that to a move action. So I'm removing the broken condition. With my alchemical cartridge, I'm going to rapid reload as a swift action, and I'm going to shoot this dog in the fucking face. What a ridiculous character.
Starting point is 00:30:57 It is. It's insane. He's got 40 feats. 19 grip points. Whee! A 24! Oh, man, you just shot this dog that's one dead dog man ah shit 2 2 points of damage?
Starting point is 00:31:13 oh should I do concealment too? yes you should so I'll just roll 2 of these that's correct so I'm rolling for the big digits first 20 and the big digits first. 20. You gotta roll.
Starting point is 00:31:29 I'll get a zero. 24. Alright. So two points of damage. Poor puppy just bullet grazed off its cheek. And now it is Lork's turn. Okay. Nice use of the brace function by the way. way yeah I've never
Starting point is 00:31:45 done it lork will uh lork will take a stab at the at the dog uh 18 to hit that's gonna hit
Starting point is 00:31:54 poor little pup and I roll 83 on concealment so we're good uh six points of damage um
Starting point is 00:32:03 and it dies it's down beautiful uh you killed it you killed the dog another one congratulations six points of damage. And it dies. It's down? Yeah. Beautiful. You killed a dog. Another one. Congratulations. Murderer!
Starting point is 00:32:11 I'm more of a cat person. Peter, if you'd like to email, Lork. I hereby present you with the Michael Vick Award for most deadly against canines. Too soon. Don't worry. Don't worry.
Starting point is 00:32:23 Nerds don't watch sports. That's right. I'm going to one One step up Toward the The chick Step Up Okay
Starting point is 00:32:31 To the streets The one dog That's Left Goes to bite Baron Right It's the dog in front of Baron
Starting point is 00:32:40 Yes And It misses Poor little pup With his Last Bite Could you make him sound More like Cujo Baron, yes. And it misses poor little pup with his last bite. Could you make him sound more like Cujo or something so that we don't feel bad
Starting point is 00:32:51 killing him? It was just a Pomeranian. Oh, God. Three beautiful Pomeranians. And Lorkin paled one of them. They were on their way to a dog show. They were just coming up to lick your face. You get her, her busy bee. It jumped to reach his face and then fell on his upturned spear.
Starting point is 00:33:17 This guy, the woman throws another javelin at Lork. 14, it's going to miss. It missed right off the armor. Ting! woman throws another javelin at Lorik. 14. It's going to miss, I'm assuming. Miss right off the armor. And now it is Galabras' turn. You guys are pros now. Alright, I'm going to reload with a move action and take another shot at the
Starting point is 00:33:38 beast mistress. Beastress. 13. It's a miss I assume uh not with uh Gormley's evil eye it is a hit oh I forgot about that
Starting point is 00:33:50 I know I say that a lot like just for flavor but it's actually true like you it wouldn't have hit it's a hit yeah with uh
Starting point is 00:33:56 beat concealments and oh 8 damage max damage holy shit nicely done capital A alright that's what you get for using dogs Oh, eight damage, max damage Holy shit Nicely done Capital A
Starting point is 00:34:06 Alright That's what you get for using dogs as a weapon Alright, you know what that means New round, new fortitude save DC 17 this time It'll be really tough Failed, work failed So does Gormur
Starting point is 00:34:23 Finally Oh boy As is tradition I failed too Oh Farron Farron Is this a poison spell Or spell like ability
Starting point is 00:34:31 Uh no Okay so I rolled a 15 So everyone failed Everyone failed So you're all Immediately start vomiting Right Uh and you're all
Starting point is 00:34:40 Nauseated for this round Uh So the uh You can take a move action. Gormley. Gormley will hold. Jeepers, it's going to get even harder. Next round. Baron.
Starting point is 00:34:55 I'll take a fucking five foot step backwards. Lork. Can I drop my spear and draw my bow as part of this move action is that a move action
Starting point is 00:35:13 we always say it's part of a move action and the dropping is free sure drop free then I'm going to come back 20 feet don't forget to pick up your weapon are you going to move and draw? That's how we normally do it? It's all part of the move?
Starting point is 00:35:29 Yeah, it's part of a move action. Yeah, that's right. Okay, and now the... How far is this smoke encapsulated? I mean, it's... How deep... Can we get out of it? And still attack from range?
Starting point is 00:35:44 And remember, bows have... I could shoot 150 feet, 200 feet. Is it a feasible option to get out of the smoke and still shoot at her? If you moved your max movement away next round, you would be out of it. But I don't know if you take a penalty to the range at that point. Well, I would tell you what the range is. You can let me know. But yeah, if you move your max distance out next round, then you will be out of it. Yeah, anything up to
Starting point is 00:36:09 200 feet. So 200 feet is the first time I take a penalty. Oh, so yeah, you would be out of it. Yeah. But you have to walk through it to get through town. Right. Okay, so the dog steps up to gnaw at Baron. What a great five foot step.
Starting point is 00:36:27 20 hits. Shit. These guys don't do too much. Three points of damage. Baron, you're the right size for a dog to just be gnawing at your crotch and stuff.
Starting point is 00:36:42 And now the beast tamer woman steps up. Oh, mother. She's not... No one steps on a church in my town. She now swings an orc double axe
Starting point is 00:36:57 at ya. And misses. Did you do concealment on the dog? I didn't. Thank you for reminding me. 44. Galabras?
Starting point is 00:37:13 Galabras. I'm going to, with my move action, I'm going to reload my light crossbow. Okay. Okay. All right. DC 18 fortitude save. It's going to get Unpassable
Starting point is 00:37:28 Got it Wow Lork failed 25 I passed Alright so Lork's the only one That didn't make it through The guy that needed to
Starting point is 00:37:42 But at least you can take this turn to move away. Okay, now is that your second fail in a row, Lork? Yes. All right, that... So you're also going to take, for what it's worth, you take five points of non-lethal damage, and you continue to be nauseated. And you just get this sense that you don't want to
Starting point is 00:38:06 fail a third one. Gormley. What round are we in? Is she still hexed? The Beast Mistress? She's hexed for six, right? She's hexed until next round. Oh, wait, she failed. No, she succeeded, but then you cackled.
Starting point is 00:38:22 It ends after. This is the last round. I have it written. It is written! So Gormley's going to cackled. It ends after. This is the last round. All right. I have it written. It is written? So Gromit's going to cackle to extend that. Okay. And then she's going to fire a crossbow at her. She's going to take the minus four. All right.
Starting point is 00:38:38 13. Because, again, because that's what Galabras hit with, was a 13. That shouldn't be a hit, but it is a 13. That shouldn't be a hit, but it is. It shouldn't be a hit, but it is. 94 on the concealment. I thought she had 94 damage. She dead? Nine points of damage. Awesome.
Starting point is 00:38:56 Nine points of damage and she had nine hit points left. Nice. So she is ferociously still standing. Baron, you're standing there next to a dog. Can I do a quick nice so she is ferociously uh still standing uh baron you're standing there next to a dog can I do a quick
Starting point is 00:39:08 perception check to tell how injured the orc mistress is mhm 19 um she's got
Starting point is 00:39:18 one one attack left you just know from having fought now a couple dozen orcs that she's got one
Starting point is 00:39:24 one last ditch effort reload effort. Reloading my weapon, and I'm going to put my gun up to her temple, and I'm going to say, say hello to your mother for me. I don't even know what that means. This is a 15 against touch AC. Yeah, that's
Starting point is 00:39:39 definitely a hit. Get her below con. Eight points of damage. Concealment. Oh, and my concealment. Eight points of damage. Consume it. Oh, am I consuming it? Thanks, Skit. Thanks, buddy. Really appreciate it.
Starting point is 00:39:50 I get really mad when anyone else does it to me. 30. He made it. 30, yep. Okay, she is still kicking. Shit. She gets a licking. Shit.
Starting point is 00:40:00 Someone help me kill her before I get nauseated. Lork, you are vomiting. Vomiting? Vom are vomiting the dog bites Baron again fuck this dog and it somebody's getting a phone call the dog misses and then the dog
Starting point is 00:40:18 runs out of the smoke it's choking from the smoke and the dog takes off so he and then Runs out of the smoke. It's choking from the smoke, and the dog takes off. So, he... And then the orc beast tamer. Now, if she has two attacks, she can't use them, right? Because with ferocity, you just get that one last attack? Or do you get a full attack action? No, you get one standard action or one move action.
Starting point is 00:40:40 Wait, so I took her below zero, then? Yeah. Oh, great. No, no, she was below zero already. I shot her with a crossbow. You didn't get her enough negative con to kill her. Oh, I would have just ran away then. Oops. And she hit with a 19.
Starting point is 00:40:54 Fuck. On her last move. That hurts, man. Now you're just wasting charges on our wand. Is there concealment on that? There is. Thank you, thank you. 84. Right as she's falling to the ground, just gashes you for eight points with an orc double axe.
Starting point is 00:41:13 Eight points? And then falls to the ground as her last living dog, at least, gets to run off and be free and maybe start a new life as a chicken. Shit, I'm sorry I didn't realize that she was on a ramp. Oh, so we're out of combat? Yeah. Can we run through this cloud? I mean, what's
Starting point is 00:41:32 the deal? I'm going to the other side, or if you want to like... I'm going to check her body before I leave. Sure. 25. Okay, roll a fortitude save real quick. Your friends have all run off. 25. Okay. Roll a fortitude save real quick. Your friends have all run off. 16.
Starting point is 00:41:52 Okay. So you're just like, you're vomiting on her corpse. But you're able to discover two potions of cure light wounds, two vials of acid, leather armor if you want it. Regular leatherials of acid. Leather armor if you want it. Regular leather armor? Yep. Okay.
Starting point is 00:42:09 What are the vials? Acid. Two vials of acid. An orc double axe, obviously. 36 gold pieces. Yeah. And a scabbard that looks rather special.
Starting point is 00:42:26 Does it have gemstones on it? It does. Or anything metal? No, it doesn't. It just looks really nice. Really ornate. Okay, I'll take everything but the leather armor
Starting point is 00:42:34 and the paddlax. And I will run out towards my friends. Just covered in puke. No, it's on her. It's not on me. That's right. It's dripping down.
Starting point is 00:42:43 I'm a projectile vomiter. I didn't just go like a baby. It's a real thing. It's a real thing. Oh, yeah. It's on her. It's not on me. That's right. It's dripping down. I'm a projectile vomiter. I didn't just go like a baby. It's a real thing. It's a real thing. Oh, yeah. It's an affliction. Okay.
Starting point is 00:42:52 So he comes running out. He's got two potions, two vials, and it's really pretty scabbard. These short little legs. These tiny little legs. Fuck you, man. No, I don't care.
Starting point is 00:43:05 I'm a better height than you. I just have to get in that dwarf line, so I'm not used to it. Yeah. Nice job. Good call. Do we have any idea? The wet rag over your mouth that you wouldn't have got bonuses, so you might have saved a little less. Do we have any?
Starting point is 00:43:23 Oh, we got bonuses? Fuck me. I'm kidding. Please don't. Do we have any idea why she was totally unaffected? Was she wearing an apparatus, or was she just so hardy from her orc genes that she was able to... Well, it's some sort of...
Starting point is 00:43:39 I mean, the alchemical fire itself, the wildfire, for lack of a better term, I mean, it's from them. They made it. Right, but napalm's from us, and if we get stuck in napalm, we're going to burn to death. Right, but it's... Roll a retroactive knowledge local. I cannot do that.
Starting point is 00:43:58 Some of us do. But you could do... 21. He has knowledge alchemy. Oh, can I do knowledge alchemy? Sure, sure. 21 knowledge local. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:06 What did I roll 10 15 I'm sorry 18 knowledge local yeah she had this sort of wild look in her eyes like she had just
Starting point is 00:44:14 taken something oh drugs and so that would have she was all hopped up yeah some sort of potion or something that would have
Starting point is 00:44:22 smack PCP you guys want to get wet? oh my god ride the snake yeah she she was she probably was taking
Starting point is 00:44:30 something to ride the snake you gotta think if like these guys infiltrated the town and had this plan to do this and now chemical fire
Starting point is 00:44:36 and what not they also gave all their people like things to stim packs you know steal themselves against this stuff right
Starting point is 00:44:44 chemical warfare it is what it is it really is chemical warfare everybody roll Stimpaks. You know, steal themselves against this stuff. Right, right. Chemical warfare. It is what it is. It really is chemical warfare. Everybody roll a perception check. 12 for Lork. 18. 9 for Gormwick.
Starting point is 00:44:58 Galabras. 11. Ooh, very low perception. So you guys get through the smoke. You just wipe and puke and blot off your sauce. Oh, God. and only Galabras
Starting point is 00:45:07 hears down an alleyway to your right you hear these like guttural voices of orcs and we're nearing Lork's home we're not too far away from that but Galabras hears this kind of
Starting point is 00:45:24 rough common move an inch and five of my best will come to join us and they won't be as friendly as we are right urnsel right what was that urnsel could you say that again move an inch and five of my best will come join us and they won't be as friendly as we are. Right, Ernstl? Right! Who's Ernstl? Oh, the blacksmith, right?
Starting point is 00:45:53 The lady that left, the former blacksmith that worked at Clamour for a very short time. Wasn't that the name? On the Hope Knife. Is that right? It'd be great if we had a spreadsheet with those names on it.
Starting point is 00:46:02 I'm booking. By the way, Clivers. Yes, it was the apprentice those names on it. I'm booking. By the way, it was the apprentice that was on there. I need some mega healing. Son of a bitch. Oh, shit, of course. Mega healing. And you hear, please, please, please don't, please.
Starting point is 00:46:15 All right, before we do anything, I'm going to use the wand on Baron. Three. Three. Do it again. Six. Nine. Baron Three Do it again Six Nine I'm going to swallow my potion of cure light wounds too We just got two more
Starting point is 00:46:33 So I'm going to swallow one of those Okay so we have one more so who's going to take that Nine Not me I'm carrying one You're carrying one? Yeah So carry another one
Starting point is 00:46:43 Now you have two I didn't want to keep it from other people if they needed it I was trying to be courteous I'm carrying one on that too. You're carrying one? Yeah. So carry another one. Now you have two. I didn't want to keep it from other people if they needed it. I was trying to be courteous. Yeah, I'm sitting on one and a cure moderate, so I don't need it. Would you like to hear about Ernstl or did we decide we knew? Yeah, tell us about Ernstl. I'll read this because it's just too good. Most likely a fake name.
Starting point is 00:47:04 This half-orc took a job working at Clamor only a few weeks ago It's just too good. Most likely a fake name. This half-orc took a job working at Clamor only a few weeks ago and was delegated by Sarah to work on Roderick's Hope Knife Order. Her name is on the receipt that was found in Roderick's room near his body. She no-showed to work about three days ago and hasn't been seen since. Shady shit. That is some shady shit. Grade A note-taking. So you guys are outside
Starting point is 00:47:25 of this area here around more buildings on your way towards Lork's house and the city walls and Galabras
Starting point is 00:47:33 you hear this happening down the end of this thin alleyway between two buildings you notice these buildings are like
Starting point is 00:47:41 they're starting to like be burnt down to the ground like they're in to like be burnt down to the ground like they're in much worse shape than the other buildings. Better shape than Sarah Morninghawks which collapsed to the ground but they've been like decimated and smashed through with axes
Starting point is 00:47:55 so that's what you see on either side of this alleyway but Galabras you hear this someone being threatened or something at the end of that alleyway. Alright so we're standing at one end of an alleyway. I hear these voices coming from the other end. I tell everybody what I hear. I use the wand on Baron twice.
Starting point is 00:48:12 He drinks his potion. And we should probably head down the alleyway. Maybe we want to be stealthy about it. I'll go down stealthy. If you succeed, I'll follow. 25, nat 20, stealthy. I'll go down stealthy. If you succeed, I'll follow. 25. Nat 20. Stealthy.
Starting point is 00:48:28 I'll try it. My chainmail's a little quieter now. 19 for Burma. 15 for Lork. You start walking down, and Lork is too loud, and you see the face of a woman, a female orc, look right,
Starting point is 00:48:53 turn around, and look right at you, Lork. So down the end of this alleyway, it's super dark, even though everything's kind of dimly lit from all the smoke and whatnot, this alleyway is very dark, but you are just loud enough
Starting point is 00:49:06 that this female half-orc turns around and she's got like this brand on her head, like tattoo brand right on her... Forehead. Forehead, and she looks at you. Roll for initiative. Oh, it's just one after another after another. This is really brutal, man.
Starting point is 00:49:24 Ooh. I'd probably be first. Yeah, you're putting Baron in front there. Yeah, Baron's in front. Lork's the one that caused the disturbance. All right, so... I don't know if you can... Where are my 20s at?
Starting point is 00:49:38 21. For Baron? Mm-hmm. Okay. Gorms? 16. 16. Lork? 7.hmm. Okay. Gorms? Sixteen. Sixteen. Lork? Seven.
Starting point is 00:49:48 I'm sorry. Six. Six, six, six. Galabras? Four. I'm sorry, Gormley, what'd you say? Sixteen. Sixteen. Okay. Shit, shit, shit. So you see these two
Starting point is 00:50:03 half-orcs, a woman and then a man dressed in kind of badass looking armor. I'll put that up on the Tumblr as well. Damn. That does not look too friendly. It's like World War Hulk. Yeah, and it does look kind of Hulkish. And there is just a human behind them cowering,
Starting point is 00:50:28 covered in bruises and blood. Fuck. Baron, you're up. Do a little long episode here. I'm enjoying this. Is there any type of check I can do to determine which one seems hardier than the other? You could do knowledge local. No, I can do to determine which one seems hardier than the other? You could do knowledge local. No, I can't.
Starting point is 00:50:49 Okay, so I'm going to shoot at the woman. And I'm going to say, ladies first. 21 against touch. 21 against touch is a hit. Flew right out of the tray again. Three points of damage.
Starting point is 00:51:13 Okay. And then I'm going to take a five-foot step diagonally backwards to be side-by-side with Lork. Okay. Lork, do you have a spear or what do you... Bow. Okay. So the one in the armor
Starting point is 00:51:30 comes up to Lork. And... Do you have the spear, Lork? No, I had the bow. I was intending to shoot whatever we found down this alley. And it's going to attack with its greataxe and it's going to cleave
Starting point is 00:51:51 and attack both Lork and Baron And you know you can do that as not part of a full attack? Like he can move and cleave? He did He just did? He did I He just did?
Starting point is 00:52:05 He did. I'm not sure. It's okay. Go ahead. Skid, you've used cleave before. Yeah. Do you know? Is that a full attack?
Starting point is 00:52:14 Oh, no. I don't think it is a full. I don't know. I can't remember. No, it might not. It's very well made. I mean, it's a feat, so usually with feats you. Right. It's all right.
Starting point is 00:52:23 Don't worry about it. Just do it. Okay. Just's all right. Don't worry about it. Just do it. Okay. Just fuck us up. First one was... Who did I say first? Lork the Orc. Yeah, it's a standard action.
Starting point is 00:52:34 Yeah. I agree. I concur. Lork 18. Oh, come on. Yes. Exactly. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:52:44 Sorry. Oh, boy. 1d12. Yes. Exactly. Sorry. Oh, boy. 1d12. Plus something. Two can play this game. Just hits you for nine points of damage. It says full round action here on Pathfinder SRD. I just looked it up on Paizo's website.
Starting point is 00:52:59 It said standard. As a standard action, you can make a single attack. Get your full base attack bonus against a foe within reach. All right. And he pooped. So now then, attacks Baron. And 14? 14 is...
Starting point is 00:53:16 Is that Misra? Exactly my AC. Get out of town. Unless they're giants. Oh, no. 15 points of town. Unless they're giants. Oh no. 15 points of damage. Oh my god. Now, you would also know
Starting point is 00:53:32 metagaming-wise from Cleave that its AC has been lowered by using Cleave. Well, you do take a negative two penalty to your AC until your next turn. That's literally exactly what he just said. Gormley.
Starting point is 00:53:53 Gormley's going to evil eye the guy in armor. You bitch. For AC. Oh, smart. That's good gaming. We'll save?
Starting point is 00:54:05 We'll save? Yeah. We'll save what you will. Nine to 20, yeah. Made it. So, one round. One round. And Gormley will cackle to extend it to two.
Starting point is 00:54:17 And what did you lower? AC. Oh, even lower? All right, great. Okay, so now that AC is super low. She whispers in Lork's ear, you better hit him, big boy.
Starting point is 00:54:26 I know, right? And now it is the other, the female orc's turn. She comes up and tries to acrobatics through Baron's space. So she's going to roll acrobatics against your fucking, whatchamacallit
Starting point is 00:54:48 CMD. And she fails. So you get an attack of opportunity against her. Sweet. And she ends her turn right in front of you. 14 against Hutch. Hits. Four. Four points of damage
Starting point is 00:55:08 alright she swings a war hammer at Baron I don't like being alive anyway ooh hits definitely max damage 10 points of damage To Baron
Starting point is 00:55:25 When do I die? Negative your constitution score The full score Not the bonus The full score Okay I got some A little bit of time But not much
Starting point is 00:55:38 Okay is Baron still standing Or is he No he's down He's down Okay Lorik Fuck I forgot these guys were that
Starting point is 00:55:46 badass uh can I um uh I had the bow can I just can I drop my bow and pull out an axe
Starting point is 00:55:54 and swing it at this guy in front of me sure if I'm not moving sure uh
Starting point is 00:55:58 alright I will I'm gonna do I keep forgetting to do this I'm gonna do it now I'm gonna do a power attack hmm to do this, I'm gonna do it now. I'm gonna do a power attack. Swing at the guy in front of me.
Starting point is 00:56:11 19 to hit, and that should hit. He is minus four. That's the guy with, oh yeah, that definitely hits. Yeah. So. What is the power attack to you, for those listening? 18 damage. 18, and that's with the power attack damage?
Starting point is 00:56:25 That's with the power attack.? That's with the power attack. Power attack with a two-handed weapon is an additional plus four. It's plus 50% of your bonus. But you take a minus to your AC, right? No, to hit. But his AC was so low, so I was like, this is the perfect time.
Starting point is 00:56:40 And it's only minus one to hit. So power attack, minus to hit, but bonus to damage. Right. So 18 points of damage. Right. So, 18 points of damage. That fucked him up. Below zero?
Starting point is 00:56:53 Galabras. No. These guys are pretty tough. I'm going to take a shot at him while he has the really low AC. Okay. I'm dying! I know, but you're not going to die next round. I know, I know. I'm dying Foe I know but You're not gonna die next round I know
Starting point is 00:57:06 I know I'm just joking around 13 14 Come on baby What did you do Galabras? Shotted him with a crossbow So you rolled an 18?
Starting point is 00:57:19 Yeah Which one was that again? The one with the low AC The one with the low AC Yeah that hits. Okay. Are you relating? Fuck yes.
Starting point is 00:57:28 There we go. Seven damage. Seven, all right. All right. God. Nice shot. Round. Galabras.
Starting point is 00:57:35 Ooh. Baron, unconscious. Unconscious. This guy, this armored fuck swings its great axe at Lork O'Brien that's definitely a hit 26
Starting point is 00:57:57 oh boy, rolling fire over here okay, not too bad, could have been a lot worse 8 points of damage Gormley Gormlow fire over here. Okay, not too bad. Could have been a lot worse. Eight points of damage. Gormley? Gormlow? Gormley's gonna... Gormley's gonna fire the crossbow at armor guy. Okay, minus four to attack.
Starting point is 00:58:20 That's not gonna be good. Eight. Eight, no. And she'll reload. Okay, and then... No, she'll cackle to extend the hex. Oh, because you didn't move, right? That's smart. So now that's going to last
Starting point is 00:58:36 until the fourth round. Okay, the female orc. This is some fucked up stuff going on here. Okay, the female orc this is some fucked up stuff going on here okay the female orc is going to now that Baron is down is going to come around and attack Galabras
Starting point is 00:58:58 didn't want to but yeah you did it was right there I wanted to get around and flank and it's going to do a power attack so less chance of hitting with a warhammer
Starting point is 00:59:11 but more damage 14 it's a miss 14 misses oh my god I was going to force a potion down Baron's throat
Starting point is 00:59:20 but then I figured Calabros would channel not if Calabros is fucking dead. Galabras can't get me back to zero. Yeah, I can't. That's why I channeled. The female with the tattoo on her head swings the warhammer with all
Starting point is 00:59:34 of its strength and swung too hard. Misses Galabras Lork. It's my turn? Yes, sir. I am going to shh. Yes, sir. I am going to... Fuck, I am in an impossible fucking position. I'm going to try to kill this guy.
Starting point is 00:59:58 But it's just not going to work. Yeah, well. Yeah, well. All right. I'll swing at this guy. He's got a minus two to his AC. Minus four, right? He's still got a minus four, yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:12 Well, no. He's just a minus two because he didn't cleave this round. So 15? 15 hits still. All right, that'll do it then. Should at least. I'm forgetting what the power uh ten ten damage
Starting point is 01:00:26 alright he is uh in the uh in the neg zone oh well it's still gonna fucking fuck us up that's what I'm saying but wait is he he's an orc
Starting point is 01:00:33 or is he a human no he's an orc oh um Galabras I haven't tried doing the power attack he looks like the incredible hawk oh right okay
Starting point is 01:00:41 uh that's actually the mini he's wearing green paint, okay? Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, I can still move, so I'll take a five-foot step back away from him then. Like where Baron's head is?
Starting point is 01:00:52 Okay. Kicks Baron out of the way. Do you provoke an attack from the woman? Nope. Okay. No, it's just a five-foot step, so I'm good. I'm going to also take a five-foot step
Starting point is 01:01:01 away from this ugly lady and channel. Again, I'm going to use my gold-plated Roman dice. Come on, make it a good one, Skid. Make it good. Two. Two. But at least Baron is stabilized.
Starting point is 01:01:21 So I won't lose any hit points now, but I'm going to stay where my negative yeah you're still unconscious but you're not going to keep bleeding out that's good alright round three Baron you're still still down alright
Starting point is 01:01:40 the big guy steps up to Gormley and will do a cleave All right, the big guy. Steps up to Gormley and will do a cleave on Gormley. I thought he was at the negative. He moved and he died. He moves and dies. Yep. Boom.
Starting point is 01:01:57 You can't five foot step? That's a move action. It's a move action. Okay. So. Does he have any bulls? He's kind of limited in what he can do. I guess he just chucks a javelin then at Gormley.
Starting point is 01:02:13 I forgot he was at negative. His final act. 15. Miss. Mage armor. You still have mage armor? Yeah, it's two hours. Oh, I thought it was like a miss. All right. Gormley, as the javelin flies over. Boom! You still have mage armor? Yeah, it's two hours. Oh, I thought it was like a minute.
Starting point is 01:02:25 Alright, Gormley. As the javelin flies over your head. Gormley's gonna force a potion down Baron's throat. Okay. Cure light wounds. 1d8, right? Plus one. Three. Did that do it? Still negative one. Damn. Okay.
Starting point is 01:02:42 Something. Now the girl looks panicked. Ernstl. Ernstl. And she... Surrender or die. She power attacks Lork with a war hammer.
Starting point is 01:02:58 Misses. Thank God. And now it's Lork's turn. Lork will power attack back. 16. 16 exactly hits. Perfect. I'm trying to remember the power attack math.
Starting point is 01:03:23 17 points of damage. Holy shit. 17 points of damage. Oh, shit. 17 points of damage? That masterwork, great axe, it's disgusting. That puts her in the negative. Nice.
Starting point is 01:03:32 10 on a d12, man. So now, it's Galabras' turn. Don't forget, you guys have just been killing these people left and right. This person's in the negative
Starting point is 01:03:41 and it's a while until this next turn. Galabras, you're up. I'm going to step up here and use the Wands of Cure Light Wounds on Baron. You're a real niche. I try. Five. Five points.
Starting point is 01:03:58 Nice. Troy's hint is not... His point is well made that we have not interrogated any of these people about their strategies. I think I'm going to start chugging potions of mage armor and or take medium armor proficiency next round. 14 is pretty low. Or get a medallion of natural armor or something like that. Yeah, that'll help.
Starting point is 01:04:21 It's real low. It is Baron's turn. So, from my reclined position, I'm going to reload my weapon, and I'm going to say... You don't waste a bullet? From hell's heart, I stab at thee! No, I'm just going to wait.
Starting point is 01:04:40 Probably. She can't move towards me? No, she cannot. I'll just stand up. How about that? One action left and I'll reload as well. Okay, Gormley? Well, alright. So she's in the negative.
Starting point is 01:04:58 So we can stabilize her after she goes unconscious if we want to question her. You can kill her, you can stabilize her, you can let her die, but she'll have one more attack. So let's just let her die. Yeah, don't shoot her with a crossbow bolt. You don't want to ask her questions, though. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:13 Well, you'd need to stabilize her to stop her from dying. Right, but what I'm saying is just don't kill her now, and we can stabilize her after she goes unconscious. Yeah. I'll hold. Okay, Gormley holds. after she goes unconscious. Yeah. I'll hold. Okay. Gormley holds. We're already in action.
Starting point is 01:05:31 If something happens that she moves towards me to attack, I will full withdraw. She takes a step back and just yells, Come! Come at them! And falls to the ground and is now
Starting point is 01:05:48 dying. And it's Lork's turn. Lork is going to chug a potion of cure moderate wounds. Okay. Galabras. Should we stabilize her? Yeah, I'm going to run up and use the healer's kit to stabilize her.
Starting point is 01:06:14 Okay. Well, you can. It's a cantrip for you to stabilize. Right? It's a zero level spell. Or am I thinking of? Actually, it's a zero level spell Or am I thinking of Actually it's It's a zero level spell
Starting point is 01:06:27 Oh say it No you're right You're right Yeah I stabilize her With the cantrip Or Orison Can I have that heal kit then So I can stabilize you
Starting point is 01:06:35 If you go down Sure Or should I just take it from you When you're dead Yeah Take it off my cold dead body Okay Are we still in combat? No you are You are currently still in combat
Starting point is 01:06:45 no you are you are currently out of combat okay so I am so just to describe the scene you know Baron's
Starting point is 01:06:52 on his back he's reloading his gun Lork is chugging a potion Galabras just stabilized Ernstle
Starting point is 01:06:58 and Gormley you're I read it in action you're just reading you're just kind of kind of just like moving back and forth like what, what's going to happen? What's going to happen next? And then there's this man
Starting point is 01:07:07 cowering in the back of the alley that's been all, like, fucked up by these two. So... So, yeah, I mean, if we're out of combat, Lurk will chug the potion, and then he'll walk down the alley to, you know, lead the guy out to the... tell him to go to
Starting point is 01:07:23 the longhouse. I'll tie Ernst up with the hemp rope we got from the man in the well. Yeah, so while they take care of Ernst, I'll take care of the guy. And the guy's like, oh, thank you. Thank you. They were killing me. They were sticking me with needles.
Starting point is 01:07:36 You saved my life. What do you mean sticking you with needles? I don't know. They were just prodding me with these things. I feel sick. All right. There's a triage tent back at the barricade. Get yourself back there
Starting point is 01:07:48 and get some medical care. Where is that? Down that way? Yes, over here on the map. I'm not even from here. Where are you from? I'm from Lastwall. I'm just visiting
Starting point is 01:07:57 a trade partner. Oh. Please. Thank you so much. I know for sure my life was almost over. Take this. And he hands you this, these beautiful platinum merchant scales.
Starting point is 01:08:11 Dope. He's like, thank you. I was just here on business, and you saved my life. Please, please save the rest of them. I gotta go. Eat bolts. Gormley's gonna search the body of the Hulk orc. Yeah, good call there
Starting point is 01:08:28 19 perception you find three potions you also find a masterwork breastplate another masterwork greataxe and 124 gold pieces yeah there we go and spellcrafts the potions
Starting point is 01:08:44 sure you said 124 gold pieces. Yeah, there we go. And spellcrafts the potions? Sure. You said 124 gold? Yes. 26 spellcrafts. Ooh, you find a potion of bull strength, a potion of enlarged person. Oh.
Starting point is 01:08:58 Caster level third. And a potion of cure moderate wounds. Excellent. All right, I'll take the potion of cure moderate wounds. You said? All right, I don't need that All right, I'll take the potion. Cure moderate wounds, you said? Yeah. All right, I don't need that. I'll take it. I just used mine, so I'll take another one.
Starting point is 01:09:12 Ernst was like, just kill me, please. Just get it over with. For the rest of our healing needs, do you have enough charges to just charge us back? Should we save our potions? Yeah, I can use the wand. Okay, great. Bull strength, what was the second one? Enlarge person. or yeah I saw I can use the wand okay great both strength what was the second one enlarged person
Starting point is 01:09:26 just kill me and get it over with you'll die soon enough but first we have some questions what do you want to know who the fuck are you who are you
Starting point is 01:09:41 who are you I asked you first you got me out of technicality the name's Ernst Gormley walks Walks back over Sits down next to Ernst
Starting point is 01:09:51 And with a long Fingernail Starts to Trace the tattoo On the forehead Roll an intimidate check Twelve Get your hands off of me Bitch 12 get your hands off of me bitch
Starting point is 01:10:08 I love it Gormley does not move her hands my friend will continue to be creepy towards you as you ask answer all our questions um anybody have intimidate
Starting point is 01:10:25 yeah Lork does so Lork will step up and Lork will step up and roll intimidate 19 I have no options left I'm afraid of punishment at the hands of my orc masters their abuse
Starting point is 01:10:43 is nothing new to me anyway what What do you want to know? My life's over anyway. What's your deal? Did you say you're an autumn or a spring? I'm a winter. What do you want to know? What's the plan? What was the plan?
Starting point is 01:11:00 What are you looking for in this town? I don't know. I don't know. It's just a small pawn in the whole scheme, I'm sure. What were you looking for in this town? I don't know. I don't know. I... It's just a small pawn in the whole scheme, I'm sure. What were your orders, sweetie? My orders were to oppose and as an apprentice for that
Starting point is 01:11:13 butch morning hawk. I stole the hope knife and I hid with the other half-orcs in Trunau. That was all I was told to do. Where were the orcs hiding? All throughout the city. We've infiltrated the entire town. Who is your master, and where is he?
Starting point is 01:11:32 Now I have no master, but my boss was a man named Screed. He's the mastermind behind the entire plot, and he's the one that killed Roderick. Not me. I may have stole the Hope Knife, but he killed him. You'll have to find him if you want to know more. That's all I know. Is he here? Is he's the one that killed Roderick. Not me. I may have stole the Hope Knife, but he killed him. You'll have to find him if you want to know more. That's all I know. Is he here? Is he outside the walls?
Starting point is 01:11:50 Who knows? Probably not. You do. I don't. He keeps... I'm sure you've encountered more people like this before, and everyone that I've run into, everyone only knows a certain amount of information. He's good. But you should go. You should go before you die.
Starting point is 01:12:07 Who are you calling for? Who's coming in? Who's the reinforcements? There's people next door. Just let me go, please. How many people? There's five. There's five more. And they're in that house. Are they all shitty orcs like you?
Starting point is 01:12:23 And she points to your house. Oh, fuck. Shit. And they're in that house. Are they all shitty orcs like you? And she points to your house. Oh, fuck. To Lork's house. And she says there's five. There's five. Including Lork's dead son. Including Lork's son, you would assume. You would assume he's dead.
Starting point is 01:12:39 Yeah. Fuck. All right, Lork is going to... And just get ready to go in that house. So Lork runs to the end of the alleyway, and just as you do, there are five orcs standing in front of your house, waiting, because they heard Ernstl crying out.
Starting point is 01:13:01 Fuck. And the biggest one among them is holding your adopted son by his hair, on his knees in front of him, in front of the group of orcs. And you see this. And he slits his throat
Starting point is 01:13:17 right in front of you. Fuck. And then throws his corpse into the ground. Outro Music

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