The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 160 - Welcome Back, Slaughter

Episode Date: June 19, 2018

After stone-shaping into the strange temple deep within Skirgaard, the party comes face to face with a terrifying creature and an old friend. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. A couple things are going to happen. An abomination. This ain't your grandpa's Orphos. No, no, no it is not. Enlarged. I've been waiting for another chance at this. You're not going to get the best of me this time.

And undead. Things are about to get dark in Glass Cannon Land. Descends upon the party. No save. No save. No save. No save. But will they be able to do

what must be done? This is a guy who challenged your belief in Gorim within five minutes of meeting you. Exactly. And you no longer believe in Gorim? He's probably the toughest guy Lork has ever met.

And cut down a former ally. Grant me the strength, Toregg. What are you hesitating for? They need ya! The adventure continues. That's not fair! That's wrong. Hello out there, Matthew here. So, a little contest is brewing in Glass Cannon Land.

A contest that's near and dear to my heart. It's the Faraz Al-Said Call to Arts. If you head over to the Glass Cannon subreddit, you can see all the details. But basically, if you're artistically inclined, you can create and post an image of one Faraz Al-Said. Albeit, not in bird slash any other wild-shaped form. The deadline is June 30th, and the winner will receive a brand new Starfinder GM screen, signed by our very own Eleanor DiLorenzo. Can't wait to see what all

of you come up with. Also, I promised in my last intro some more shameless plugging, and here it is. If you live in or have access to the greater Washington, D.C. area, you can catch a reading of my play, The City Of, presented as part of the Writing Refreshed series at the Capital Fringe. Tickets are on sale now at capitalfringe.org. That's capital with two A's. We'll also post links on all the requisite social media. There are multiple shows you can go to. Sunday, July 8th at 4.30pm. Saturday, July 14th at 6.30pm. Sunday, July 15th at 8.30pm. Tuesday, July 17th at 6.30pm, or Saturday, July 21st at 4pm. All readings will be at the Arena Stage. And I'll be there on July 8th if you want to stop in and say

hello. Alright, time for the episode. Please enjoy episode 160. Welcome back, Slaughter. Oh boy. Slaughter. Oh, boy. There have been a lot of memorable moments since we started recording this little podcast of ours. I can't recall any. Skip, let me take you down memory lane, if you will. Okay.

There was, of course, the death of Jasun. Oh, right. Huge moment. Episode 16. If this show was a comic book, there'd be like death of Jason. Oh, right. Huge. Episode 16. If this show was a comic book, there'd be like, episode blah, blah, blah, the death of Jason. Yeah. Big one. That would sell for lots of money at Sotheby's. Lots.

That's Glass Cannon's preferred auction house, by the way. Yes. Sotheby's. The only. This episode brought you. By Sotheby's. I can't even get through that. By Sotheby's. The only. This episode brought you up by Sotheby's. I can't even get through that. By Sotheby's. They would be a great sponsor.

Your auction needs go with Sotheby's. Think of all the sapphires we'd get discounts on. I can't believe we just alienated all of our Christie's fans. Remind me to tell you about the time I was at Sotheby's and listened to both Bono and Chris Martin do a sound check with the two of them,

myself, and one other dude in the room. But this isn't what this is about, guys. That's not what this is about. I'm not here to name drop names like Bono and Chris Martin. I mean, look, you didn't even name the other guy in the room. No. Exactly. Thank you, Matthew.

That's how Louis cares for name dropping. That's not what I'm about. That's not what this show is about. The other guy was Sting. Oh, that's good. That's good. We should laugh at our own jokes for a while more, though. The death of Jasun.

Oh. Who could forget? I mean, that was a real turning point for this show. That was like the death of Gwen Stacy. Yep. In Spider-Man. Better, though. Better.

But better. And I think it touched a lot more people. Yes. Because we had never met Jasun. We had never met him. Right. That's why it had a larger overall cultural impact on the death of Gwen Stacy. Episode 50, death of Gorms.

And, you know, I think it always, nothing against Gormley, but it always overshadows the death of Ben Vereen. No one ever remembers that. Yeah. I almost forgot his name. You did. I saw it in your eyes. I saw the panic in your eyes.

The death of that other person that died. Then, of course, episode 100. My God. Triple threat. Six hours of content. New characters that are now mainstays on this show. Death of Della. Nestor and Umlaut.

A lot of big stuff. Today's episode, episode 160, it's important for an entirely different reason. Why? I'll tell you why, Skid. Because it is the first episode that we are recording in our new space!

Oh! Woo! Look at this. I had no idea. I know, Grant. You closed your eyes the entire time and opened them when I started

talking about your son. We are in our new space. We're here, and this is an amazing space. I would say it has it all. The only thing that it's lacking is the ability to record a podcast. It really

hits all the other marks. when it comes to recording podcasts it just falls a little short we're basically recording in a pillow fort right now we built a small pillow for this is a glorified version of putting a blanket over our heads yeah and recording it is a very expensive but just as you know made at home with loving hands as a pillow for yeah i mean what are you going to do we got to keep recording we're going to build this out but just as, you know, made at home with loving hands as a pillow for it. I mean, what are you going to do? We've got to keep recording. We're going to build this out eventually.

But in the meantime. There's going to be a lot of carpentry involved, which I'm a little nervous about. Yeah, Grant using a nail gun. I don't want to be anywhere near that. Ellie was very upset when Joe and I were seven Bud Lights deep climbing scaffolding to hang curtains. She was so nervous. I've never seen that. Seven Bud Lights in, 16-foot ladder, two rungs from the top. What a girl.

Putting a drill into cement. That was Troy LaVallee that day. Do we even have insurance? We did in the old space. You should have fallen next door. That's what they'll tell us. I can also tell you it was just Joe and I there with my buddy who came over who's giving us kind of an estimate to get this place more ship shape for podcast recording.

And I can tell you, he was like, yeah, I think we can all bang this out just with me and three other guys in the podcast. And then as he was measuring something with a measuring tape, the tape just fell right in his face. Oh, Pete, Pete, I love you. I love you. It was just like, and then I turned to my wife and my my my father-in-law has had like a decades-long career in contracting and being a foreman on

things and i turned to her i said you know your dad could really help us knock this out can we can we pay him to help us and she just looked at me with the like spousal no because he's going to do all the work for free and yeah but he doesn't want to stoop to our level. No, absolutely not. I don't blame him. But man, this is going to be, one day, this is going to be a really great space. Oh, it's going to be amazing. It really has it all.

We have a vision. We do. We're nothing without a vision. No. Matthew has no vision. No. None. Because you blinded me two seconds ago.

You threw dirt in my eyes. It's true. It's true. I blame myselfed me two seconds ago. You threw dirt in my eyes. It's true. It's true. I blame myself. That is on you. But this is going to be a wonderful space. In the meantime, popsicle sticks and glue. But I think it sounds pretty damn good.

It sounds all right. Yeah. What do you think? The competition. What? Trash talking in general competition. I kick ira glasses ass up and down he's gotta stop sending us emails he's a real hateful guy he's been dying to get on this show it's organized play he won't stop talking about it it's like spam at this point yeah it's too much it's too

much i've changed my uh glass cannon podcast email Because of Ira Glass? I'm now Troy L. at Glass Cannon. Yeah. It's too much. He's threatening to sue us for using Glass in our name. That was going to be his follow-up show. Three things he hates. Other people using Glass, Shakespeare, and us. We are here today to do a very important combat.

Now, I'm not going to say this show hasn't been dark. We are here today to do a very important combat. Now, I'm not going to say this show hasn't been dark. There have been dark moments on this show since early on. Some so dark, we got flack for it. But it's there in the world. Galarian isn't all unicorns and fairy dust. There's some dark shit that goes down. But all things told, we haven't really delved into the kind of stuff that you're about to delve into here.

Yeah, this is fucked up. In this weird temple. Yeah. You're looking from the outside and you're like, I think it was Pembroke that was like, this looks like it used to be a temple to Thrimir, but something's changed and I can't put my finger on it. But whoever's running it now, they're worshiping someone else. You come in here, use stone shape.

Very interesting move to slide through the side of the building, the western wall. You get into this strange preparation chamber. There's a table that's draped in red cloth. Holy symbols everywhere. And there's a door. There's one door. Lork says, I'm going to stealthily open the eastern portion of this 40-foot-wide double door. And you open in

to see this creature just eating the entrails of a human with an apple stuffed in his mouth, just succulently enjoying every bit of it. He gives you this long, drawn out speech. I'm going to give you a taste of your past as well as a glimpse of your future. And then in walks an enlarged, undead Orphos Norquim.

Grant, did you see it coming? How did you feel when he walked in the room? undead or Foss nor Kim Grant. Did you see it coming? How did you feel when he walked in the room? Well, Troy, as much as I love the other members of the glass cannon podcast and my own PC, Baron Ashpeak, nay Redheart. It's when it's when I finally acknowledged my love for you, Troy, that I dropped

my own surname and took up your own. Malibu Knights. This has been my dream since the beginning for Warfoss. I think I grabbed you after one of the recordings

and I was like, you gotta bring him back as an undead dude and fight the whole fucking crew, bro. And I just smiled like Pat Morita at the end of

Karate Kid Part 1. Absolutely. Good Pat Morita impression. We'll Karate Kid Part 1. Absolutely. Good Pat Morita impression. We'll see. He looks just like him. I never realized how much... Go, go, go.

Go, go, go. You're all right, LaRusso. It's the greatest movie of all time. No one appreciated that. People at home are like, he gets it.

I'm a big, big Ralph Macchio fan. Go on, Grant. No, this is just of time i appreciated that people at home that were like he gets it i'm a big big ralph machio go on grant no this is just my dreams are coming true it's better than the time we ran away and eloped almost as good you know there's something that was that troubled me about this when you first when we first did it in the last episode, and I couldn't put my finger on it. Partially it was because the lights were off, and I'm afraid of the dark. I'm a five-year-old child. But when I was a kid, I grew up four blocks away from the Denver Natural History Museum.

And there's a section of the museum dedicated to Native American cultures. And one of it is, there's a section about like Pacific Northwest Indians. And in there, there's a kind of like they made a little like cabin like in the museum. And inside, there's an exhibit about potlatches, like Salish Indians. potlatches, like Salish Indians. And there's a ceremony that they do where it's like they have this giant wooden carving of this Salish

goddess who she cuts herself open and gives her up her insides for people to feast from. And so it's this giant wooden carving of this stylized goddess and they fill her abdomen with food, and they eat out of it. And it always scared the shit out of me as a kid.

It was so creepy. And I realized that that was what, like, it tapped into that. Something was really unsettling to you, and you couldn't put a finger on it. Yeah. Yeah. was really unsettling to you and you can put a finger on it yeah yeah i mean that the the idea of uh undead and cannibalism it's you know especially with the popularity of the walking dead it's something that we can all immediately connect to whether you watch that show or not it goes back to night of the living dead like you immediately have a visceral reaction to this we

can i don't care if you don't play pathfinder you don't play starfinder you play any of these games you're like oh i know what's going on here And it's unsettling. To see this character come back, it's a really cool way, I think, to kind of add finality to that story, maybe. Or maybe it's just the beginning. I don't know. Let me show you what this creature looks like. This podcast just becomes the story of the rampage of undead Orphos. Party through party through party.

That's how we're going to finish this. Unkillable. Well, if this is a TPK, maybe it becomes the Orphos-Norkium story. That's what I mean, yeah. The creature that was sitting there who talked to you, who mentioned Urgothoa in his speech, looks like this. Oh. Oh, wow.

Oh, okay. I see why you were speaking almost so, like, urbane. Is he undead, too? I don't know, Matthew. I can't give you that information. Hell of a try, though. I know. I asked so innocently.

You might notice he is wielding a pretty badass sight. Yeah, it looks from here like a four-times crit weapon. Yeah, it looks that way to me as well. Bleed. Little bleed. We have stalled long enough. No good can come from this. Things are about to get dark in Glass Cannon Land.

Roll for initiative. Oh, no. First time in the new space. First roll in the new space. Awesome. Here comes the ones. That wasn't so bad. Okay. That wasn't so bad. Okay. That wasn't so bad.

All right, let's start. Mr. Lork. Since Grant has two characters at stake here, technically, tell me what Baron got. Rolled a natural two, still ended up on top with a 15. Oh, man. Only you, Grant. Only you. Lork, Iron Tusk, this trusty companion.

Catpenetra. He gets a 24. 24? 24. Show enough. Yeah. Not bad. Not bad and good where you were the one to open the door.

Pembroke, a potent. I did roll a natural one, so my initiative is two. Always want your wizard going last in round one. That's really, really important. Modern wisdom. Save the best for last. That's the new meta in Pathfinder. You want your wizard to go last. Wizards go last. Wizards and rogues. That's a sabermetrics. That's pure sabermetrics. Wizards and rogues

go last. That's right. That's like batting your pitcher eighth. They never expected that. Feyraza El-Sed. 27. 27! Beautiful! Ooh, doggie!

All right. My initiative tracker is complete. You see the room here. I've got a beautiful map that I've used the Mondo map for I've drawn the exterior of this whole building and you guys are just taking up a very small portion of it as you can see and this room

large though it is is still comparatively small when you look at the amount of people that are involved here so you gotta remember the decisions you make are gonna affect everyone else's decisions only one side of this 40 foot door is open so there's only a 20 foot wide space that i've denoted by that swinging door don't worry about that door being uh an obstacle in the space but it just shows you that only baron and lork

are standing in front of an opening to the room round one standing in front of an opening to the room. Round one. Feyrozz Alcide. Feyrozz Alcide. Hello, my friend. Can I... No! I guess I can't detect undead,

because I don't have the spell prepared. Okay, so... You can tell him you do. I could just lie. What do you think of this? Episode 130-something? Okay. Ferrazza is going to reach over to Baron. Oh! I could just lie. Episode 130 something? Okay.

Farazza is going to reach over to Baron. Oh. Touch him sensuously. Oh. Where? Where? Where? Just on the shoulder.

The rump? Please. It's a request. I'm taller than you. Farazza is going to touch Baron on the shoulder and cast Spider Climb on him. Oh. Wow. Whoa. Whoa. Wowza. Very interesting. Wow. Donimber. Oh, wow. Whoa. Whoa.

Wowza. Very interesting. Don't know where that's going. Some tall ceilings around here, though. You said there were 20-foot ceilings. That is true. 20-foot ceilings. How long does that last?

That lasts forever. Half a round. In terms of this combat. One half of a round. Ten minutes per level. Wow. See, that's pretty dope, man. You sure it's not a half a round?

I'm pretty sure. Fair enough. It lasts until the start of the character's turn. Right. Baron, you do get a will save. I am a willing recipient of your spider climb. Even though you just touched me on the shoulder. Roll the save anyway.

I wanted to give you agency. All right. Natural one. I failed. All right. And got that out of the way. Thank you, Troy. Next up.

You're going to ever give me my move action on this show? Oh, damn it. You do it on purpose. You just wait. Yeah. You just sit there in silence. All right. Wait, do you want to move directly into the room?

Yeah, that's exactly it. No, I'm going to step to the side. Okay. To the left. You're already in the way back. No, you just moved Pembroke, Joe. Well, you would have had to have moved to touch me, correct? If you were waiting. No, no, she was right behind you. Okay. Alright, so you say

just a little five foot step to the right. Ten foot. Ten foot step away from Baron. Like, good luck. Takes off. I'm out of here. See ya! Lork slash Caddy B. Oh, man! Oh, Lork.

Alright, Lork is going to seeing Orphos come into the room has a very Oh, man! Oh, Lork. All right. Lork is going to... Seeing Orphos come into the room has a very serious impact on Lork because he's thinking about this dream that he had where he faced him and he beat him again. Well, I say again. He would have beat him in real life, too, but he beat him in the dream so easily. He's so much bigger and stronger.

And now he's even bigger and even maybe stronger and mindless, it seems, and not able to, you know, there's no way Lork thinks that he can talk him out of anything. There's no there there. Exactly. Exactly. So I am actually going to take the shaken condition on Lork at the moment because this is messed up. Yeah. But he's still going to try his best to power through and fight through it.

This is a guy who challenged your belief in Gorim within five minutes of meeting you. Exactly. And you no longer believe in Gorim? He's probably the toughest guy Lork has ever met. Yeah. You know? And he just like, he got his lungs ripped out of him. He knows he's dead.

There's no way he's coming back. And he sees this really messed up ritual. He's really terrified. Things are really messed up. But he's going to try to keep his friends alive as long as possible. So he's going to actually challenge Orphos Wow While being shaken So he's afraid of him But he's going to try to keep him away from everybody else

And just say Samurai's challenge? You have that feat? What's that? Samurai's challenge? No, no, not a mechanical challenge Oh, okay He's just going to say to him

I've been waiting for another chance at this You're not going to get the best of me this time And he just slides fully into the room So that he can free up the doorway a little bit for everybody and he's going to take one deadly aim shot at his head uh just try try to hit him now is he now the giant subtype or is he not the giant subtype uh no he is uh no he is not the giant subtype not the giant subtype that That's really dangerous for us. All right. So that is a 20 even to hit.

Against flat-footed AC. Flat-footed AC. That is a miss. Wow. Okay. This ain't your grandpa's Orphos, Norki. No, no. No, it is not.

He does not even look like the same person. There is a shimmering glow of, like, energy around him. Okay. And then Lork is going to say, Kat, get the same person. There was a shimmering glow of, like, energy around him. Okay. And then Lorca's going to say, Cat, get the other one! And Cat is going to go charging into the room and go face-to-face with this deadly creature. Now, I believe I would have to push Cat

if this creature is undead. I'm not fishing for information, but... Sure. If you think the creature looks or smells sufficiently, like, supernatural, then Cat would not go right away. But if it's Flesh and Button, she can smell that. She would go.

Sure. Cat is a little unsure. So I have to push. Yes. All right. So I'm going to say, what are you hesitating for? They need you. And he gets it.

So that's a DC-25 handle animal. Made it. And so she goes after him. She rushes into the room. Rushes in. Right up in its biz. And jumps at him for a bite. That is an 18 to hit. That is a miss.

Figured. So Benatar is right up in this thing. Rough round for Team Irontuff. Not great. Not great. It's not a great start. Interesting strategy. See how it plays out for us.

This is your first time facing him as an elf. Is this a giant? Because then if it's a 20, I said 18. If it's a 20 hits, then it's a hit. It is not a hit. I mean, neither would hit. If it's 20 hits. I always forget that she gets Lork's favorite enemy bonus, which is actually 22.

But I'm going to stop now. As usual, you've put this animal companion right up in the face of this enemy, which is a new strategy for you. Your animal companion has always stayed back. The cat goes in. We've been wondering what cat's thing is. Maybe this is it. Yeah. She goes in and she lives to tell about it.

We'll see if today is any different. You know, it's tough because... Maybe I will. Maybe I will. I mean, it is my turn. It is this strange robed creature with the scythe. I really don't want to attack cat-fucking-benatar. But you're right there.

It really, really sucks. but you're right there. It really, really sucks. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to five foot step back to have Cat Benatar be between myself and the rest of the party. Like, basically, so I'd be flanking with Baron. I'd be flanking Cat Benatar with Baron. Five foot step and two attacks on Cat Benatar. Okay.

With what? Oh, with a scythe. With a scythe. All right. First attack, 26. That is a hit. A couple things are going to happen. Oh.

The first thing that's going to happen is Cat Benatar is going to take 21 points of damage. And... Energy drain. Oh, dear God. Oh, I hate it. She effectively has one negative level. No save. No save.

No save. Next attack. Oh, my God. 18. Miss. Miss. She dodges the second one. Dodges. Scrapes on the ground. Capenitar has one

negative level. No safe! Brutal. And it is Baron's turn. Hoo doggie. So from where Baron was standing, was he able to see into the room or did he just hear this kind of speech? Oh, no, you're right.

When Lork opened that door, you're right at the other edge of the opening into the room. Okay, so Baron is going to step into the entrance of the room, and if he has an eye on the creature that is attacking Cat Benatar, he's going to fire at it with his giant spaying crossbow. He sure does. Now, the creature is going to get cover because it did step behind Cat. No problem. Very intelligently step behind Cat. Fire away. Quit complimenting

yourself, Troy. Here we go. Very intelligent. Natural 17, 31. There you go. 31 is... Is it giant subtype? Yes, it is of the giant subtype. So what is the two hit? We're talking a 33 with Bane. With the cover. Ooh, come on, baby.

Barely hit. Yeah! Barely hits. Barely hits. Oh, it was crossbow. I was like, barely hits touching. See? Run!

Barely hits. Barraza slowly closes the door. With Baron and Lorcan. Lorcan, Baron, and Cat inside. See, stone shapes something over the door. With Baron and Lorcan. Lorcan, Baron, and Cat in sight. She stone shapes something over the door. So that is 26 points of damage. Beautiful.

And as free actions, the following free actions I would like to take. A couple things are going to happen. A couple things are going to happen, Troy. Screen, pee, run. Sorry, run is a move action. Full round action. I'm going to drop my plus one giant band heavy crossbow. I'm going to draw Della as part of the quick draw feat, and I'm going to attempt a knowledge check

to determine the monster subtype of the creature in the back. Pretty sweet. And quick draw doesn't make it a swift, right? No, it makes it free. Okay. Go and roll knowledge. Local. That's a 12.

Sorry, Grant. There's one rule you can't make. That's a 12. Sorry, Grant. There's one rule you can't make. That's a huge bummer. So I'm going to, as a swift action, Troy, because I can take a swift action. Can I not? Eh. Was that a yes? Maybe a must.

I'm going to call down the Judgment of Torag and put on Sacred Destruction plus two on me. How many judgments per day do you get at this point? Two. Two. All right. So very bold move, burning a judgment here. But he knows what's going on. He knows the score.

Judgment of Sacred Destruction. Plus two. Beautiful. Moving right along. It's Orphos Norcum. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah.

Now, if you remember a couple things about Orphos Norkeem, Orphos Norkeem had incredible reach. Do you remember this, Grant? Do you remember this when you created this? Aberrant bloodline, my friend. That's right. He had gibbon arms. Gibbon arms. He had a little thing called abnormal reach straight out of the book, which means he can take a five-foot step and unleash fury upon Lork.

But is that what he wants to do? He has so many different options here, I mean. He's quite a spellcaster, if I remember correctly. He really is. I mean, there's just so many options. There's only so much time. But no, no, no. He's going to take a five-foot step into the room and swing twice with his great sword.

Grant, would you do the honors? Oh, no. No, no, no. You're going to roll these attacks? No, that's not fair! That's wrong. I'm looking at Grant with sad eyes right now. Grant, I mean, you never roll that high.

I think it's only fair that we let you, just for old time's sake, roll a couple. You are as evil as this dude with the scythe. It has poisoned your mind! Someone's got to play Natalie Imbrulius Torn. Nothing's fine, Grant's torn. I'm not torn, though. So, Troy, I want you to pick which D20 will be for either Big Red's the classic,

the Dwarven ones are pretty good. Choose the weapon of your destruction. Exactly. I'm going to go with Big Red. No! We get two attacks. Maybe I'll switch it up for next attack. I don't know.

Can we also agree that if he rolls one, it's a misfire? His weapon doesn't work? The only problem with this is you're going to know my to hit, but please. It's like squall. Does that really matter? It really does. Here we go. First attack. Five on the die.

22 to hit. That is a hit. Oh, boy. So that is going to be 33 points of damage. And for some reason, four points of acid damage. What? This great sword just comes in. Ba-ba-ba-ba-boom.

Roll again. Another five. Oh, this is only-ba-boom! Roll again. Another five. Oh, this is only going to be a 17 to hit. That is a miss. So you get crunched by that great sword. You know the kind of damage that thing can lay out. And then get burnt by this acid that's lacing the weapon. It looks like it's crawling off of his body right onto the hilt of the sword, right up the blade itself and onto your body, Lork.

And even though he may be changed, I think you can hear after the first hit on Lork, his former traveling companion, you can hear a low... Grant, I like that, but please let me run my own characters. Pembroke, you're up. So, yeah, I think Pembroke is fucked up, too, because this is one of the first friends that he made out in the wild. Yeah. You know, him, Lork, Baraza, and Orphos. We were a team for a little while. Yeah, yeah.

And to see him in this state, to see him again at all, and to see him again in this state, I think he's shaken as well. Oh, there you go. That's fair. I like it. And he is going to use his quickened metamagic rod

and cast haste on everyone. Oh! So good. So smart. Including Orphos? Yes, including Orphos. Yeah, he goes like, I got confused. He's not with us anymore.

For old time's sake. And then he's going to begin casting summon monster five. Oh! Okay, all right. Awesome, awesome. GM's nightmare in a tiny room. I hope it's a water creature. All right.

Round two. I forgot about that. Like not only did Lork come upon Orpheus, but then Lork and Orpheus, two violent half orcs came upon this old human looking for the, uh, gravestone of the Whispering Tyrant. Yeah, the Whispering Tyrant's the gallows fire.

Right. And now that version of Lork, long gone. Orpheus, now undead. And Pembroke in the midst of this quest, perhaps the last of his life. We're going to round two. Fey Raza, a lot going on here. What do you got? Fey Raza is going to walk up to the open door.

Okay. And close it. And close it. I'd say a Pembroke. Time to go. No. She's going to cast a little spell called Fire Snake. Whoa.

Never heard of this one. Walk me through this. Walk me through Fire snake. Whoa. What? Never heard of this one. So basically... Walk me through this. Walk me through fire snake. You create a sinuous line of flames that you may shape as desired. The fire snake affects one five-foot square per caster level, and each square must be adjacent to the previous square, starting with you. The fire snake may not extend beyond its maximum range.

Creatures in the path of the fire snake take 1d6 of fire damage per caster level. Oh, wow. Wowza. What? So, she's gonna shape it so that it goes straight out, hits Orphos, and then turns to get the, uh, creature. The other creature. Wow. And then she's

gonna wind it so that there's a nice little block of fire there in case they need to take a 5-foot step. Casting time on this bad boy? Casting time is instantaneous. Targets? One action. The duration is instantaneous. The duration is instantaneous.

Cast time is one action. And target is one ally? That's funny. It does have spell. I would have to roll for spell resistance if one of these guys has spell resistance. I would like you to roll spell resistance for Orphos Norkim. Get out of here! Oh, no.

18. I'm sorry that we'll not be hitting Orphos Nork. Get out of here! Oh, no. Man. 18. I'm sorry that we'll not be hitting Orphos Nurkim. Holy shit! This is not the Orphos Nurkim. That is astounding. From a long time ago. I guess it's not. It's a level 10 encounter.

He's immune to the spell entirely then, right? Because the snake... Yes. So just... The snake just whispers by and hits the other creature, though. Yep. So that is... 10d6 points of damage. DC 19.

Oh, you got a reflex. I was going to say, there must be a reflex. I was like, 10d6. Okay, and that doesn't max out with a caster level like it maxes out at 4d6. All right, I tried. Oh, good reflex. You said reflex, right? Yep.

25. Dammit. All right, so for half. Booyah. Just roll 5d reflex, right? Yep. 25. Dammit. All right, so for half. Booyah. Just roll 5d6. That's funny. Okay. Oh, wow.

Oh, damn! You rolled three sixes, a five, and a two. Whoa! Go! I wish we were doing ability scores. 25 plus 42 points of damage halved. You take 21 points of damage. Wow.

That is a good round of half damage Fire damage Fire damage What's it called again? Fire snake? Fire snake Sounds like a hair band Give it up for fire snake

Come on feel the noise Is that the one? Girls rock the boys So I'm imagining I imagine it just goes away now right? It goes away Never to be cast again on this show. Read the text. In the meantime, we're going to Lork.

Unless you want to move. You already moved. I already moved. Do you have an eagle you want to move or something? All right, Lork, you're up. All right. I'm sorry. Remind me of haste again.

Is it an extra attack on a full attack action? On a full attack action, yeah. Get a little bit of everything. An additional 30 feet of movement also? Yeah, you just want to click that haste on that hero left. Yeah, I got it, I got it. It's going to change. It might even give you a boost to your AC.

Plus one AC? It does indeed. It does indeed give you a boost to AC. All right, Lork is going to enact defensive bow stats. Because he sees the length on this greatsword. Avoiding attacks of opportunity, he's going to stay right where he is for the moment and unleash hell on Orphos and Orkim in the form

of four arrows. Back to back to back to back. So you stay right there. Actually, is Orphos, does he have the orc type, subtype? He does. I can tell you that information. Then I'm going to use four Orcbane

arrows. Oh, wow. Now here's the thing. You are within his reach. Yes. You were probably reading something when I said I use defensive bow stance. It doesn't provoke. It does not provoke. So I've got a lot going on. I actually have a whole Orphus cheat sheet here because there's so much going on with Orphus.

So he gets how many attack of opportunity? He gets zero attacks of opportunity. York is going to unleash. Here we go. First attack is a miss. Beautiful. This is actually not bad. Second attack, miss.

That's a natural two and a natural three. Third attack is a miss. That's a natural seven. And fourth fucking attack is a natural one. Oh, my God. And fourth fucking attack is a natural one. Oh, my God. Jesus. God damn. You're staring right at his face.

It makes sense. Yeah, he's shaking. He's shaking. He can't line it up. Roll to confirm it. He can't line up. I mean, let's see five bad rolls in a row. Oh, this better not confirm.

It's an actual fan. I'm sorry, not confirmed. Are you sure? Well, I don't know. 23. 23. Not confirmed. Oh, thank God. Thank God. It's still very, very, very bad, though. All right.

And then Kat Benatar is going to go. That's astounding. Terrible. Four shots from 15 feet away. I mean, he's astounding. Four shots. Terrible. That's astounding. Four shots from 15 feet away. I mean, he's just looking at the man that he could have become, perhaps. Yeah. Natural two, natural three, natural seven, natural one. Rough, rough round.

And now Cat Benatar is going to go after this creepy scythe guy and try to get him with a double attack. Creepy McScythes. Yeah. So first attack, natural one. Oh, man. Oh, my God. Roll that to confirm. To confirm is probably going to confirm.

That's a 23. That's a big old fan. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We got a fan follow. Oh, no. Let's do animal companion specific ones. That randomizer.

We'll do that. There's Nick Love. what's up nick there we go didn't he specifically ask us not to play that one as long as we sing it out he keeps saying like don't play that. Okay, this one comes in from Michael in South Bend. Oh! Really? Is the name of the fumble. Really? Really? All enemies within

sight are emboldened by your hilarious ineptitude and get a plus one morale bonus on all attack and damage against you for 1d6 rounds. Oh, my God. Do you want me to roll that 1d6? Two rounds.

Two rounds, plus one to hit and damage against Kat Benatar. She is going to take another slash. She is humiliated. Another slash. This one is a 27 to hit. That is also a miss. Okay, so this is over. This is over. And the third attack is a 27 to hit. That is also a miss. Okay, so this is over.

This is over. And the third attack is a miss. Run. That was a natty 17. Run! Yeah, so bad. The stone shape is closed up, by the way. Oh, boy.

Rough. Rough. No damage. Zero damage round. That was so bad. Yes. You had seven attacks. We're actually worse off for you having

taken your turn. We are. Actually, things got worse. Things definitely got worse. So it's my turn again. I'm really, again, I have no interest in attacking Cat Benatar. But I'm

because of the size of this room. But what about her hilarious ineptitude? Yeah. So what I'm going to do is power attack so I can kill her and move on. You probably can do that, actually. First attack, especially if I get that crit. 20 to hit. Miss.

Get out of here. Oh, wow. Miss. No, excuse me. 30 to hit. 20. 30 to hit. Yeah, that's it.

Sorry. Sorry, everyone. All right. So that's going to be, uh, oh, jeepers. Only 31 points of damage. And she takes another negative level. Every single hit. Oh, boy.

Just to let you know what's happening out here. Second attack. Ooh, that's going to be an 18. That's a miss. That's a miss. Same thing you did second attack last time. Same thing I did last time, yeah. With power attack on.

She's also bleeding out, not actual bleeding, but bleeding out hit points with those negative levels, too. Yeah. They're going down. So, basically, if the same thing happens next round, she's pretty much done. Beautiful. Yeah. This guy's just clearing the room. Yeah, I gotta say, I had a feeling this combat was going to be very bad.

In his defense, he did say he would do more with your corpses in death than you could ever do for yourselves. Has anyone else offered us that? No. I don't think so. So take heart in that. If you fall, this clearly sane creature will hold your memories dear. We're moving on here. Pretty good deal.

I don't know if we can. Take the deal. Yeah. Baron Red Peak. Red Peak. That's a new one, Troy. Red Peak iced tea. Baron looks up at the sky.

He can almost see through the stone ceiling of this chapel, and he's sure he sees Toreg smiling above him, and he says... What a loser. smiling above him and he says laughing what a loser dude um grant me the strength torag and he targets as a full round action the arms of the creepy guy with the sight I like it I will like it will hate it is he gonna get any cover

there could you can just take a five foot step to avoid that cover sure I'll take a five foot step you sure about that I think if he's aiming for that guy, he's still gonna get that plus two. He has a straight line uninterrupted right to the creature. He's just sliding to the side of Cat Benatar. I can't see Cat behind my giant creature.

It is huge. Alright, alright. Alright, this is it. Plus 18. So unless it's a misfire... Oh my god. That is a 23 against Touch AC. 23 against Touch AC is a 23 against touch AC 23 against touch AC Is a hit Yes

Drop that scythe baby It just drops the scythe That's how that works I get to Have him drop an item Carried at my choice even if it's carried By two hands And is that like a grit point spend?

That is a grit point spend. Okay, so yeah, it's expensive. And it's a full round action where I could be doing a ton of action or damage. It's a whole shaboing. It's a whole shaboing. Well, I know who's next after Cat Benatar. The good news is I still have five grit points left though, Joe. That's the good news.

Let's talk about even... You took that feat at 11th level. Even better news. Let's talk about even better news. Let's talk about Orphos Norkim. Finishing off, once and for all, the man you knew as Lorca. I'm so sorry for even laughing. I will only roll die. I think it's time to do something really horrible. Orphos Nkeem just...

He screamed when he entered the room. His lungs, no longer there, just this like gaping hole where lungs used to be, making this sound that echoes throughout this soundless room. He just... From out his body, acid starts coalescing and sprays out in a 30-foot cone towards everyone. Oh, no. Lork, including his master. Cat.

That's bold. I think he can avoid the master with a five-foot step. Either way, he can avoid the master if he stands directly next to him, pretty sure. That's going to hit Lork. That's going to hit Cat. That's going to hit Baron. That's going to hit Feyraza. And that's going to hit sweet, sweet Pems.

Pems, you're going to get a bonus to your reflex save because you are behind Feyraza. I'll sell Feyraza. That cover gives you a little bonus to your reflex. And Baron is behind Cat Benatar. Yes. There you go. All right, so everyone roll a reflex save. All right, come on, Lark.

I need it. I need it. Natural one. Oh, no! That's a big old fail! That's a fan fail. Baron, what'd you get? Is it a poison spell or spell-like ability?

It is a supernatural. All right, then it's a 29. 29 Baron, what'd you get? Is it a poison spell or spell-like ability? It is a supernatural. All right, then it's a 29. 29. Boring old 29. You're okay. Lork? 24. Cat?

14. Fail. And Pimps? 10. Oh, poo. All right, so Baron and Lork passed. And so you take half. I think you take half.

Half damage. Yeah. Everyone else takes 14 points of acid damage. Now, I have energy resistance against acid. Oh. Oh, there you go. How many points? Ten?

Five? All right, so you only take nine points. Great. Very smart. Good. And Lork takes no points, just so you know. When it takes him a little longer to die than you thought, he takes no points. Fair enough.

I don't like it, but I'll allow it. Cat, though? Staring permadeath in the face. Oh, wait, no, you took out the scythe. All right, all right. She might live another round. But it's real close. You might want an unarmed attacker, Troy.

That's all I'm saying. I'm trying. I'm trying. It is Pembroke's turn. Pembroke just acid searing away. It's burning holes in my garments. I'm going to assume there's not room for a huge creature in this room anywhere. Huge?

No, because of the placement of your allies. They were not paying attention. Just stand on top of Cap Benatar. Yeah, that's what I was kind of hoping. I was hoping she'd go down just so I could do this. Yeah, sorry. Based on the room. Sorry about my character being alive.

You would think your allies would know your incantation as you were doing it. Like, we need to get out of the way. Yeah, I was actually, I didn't want to interrupt the flow, but I was going to say, like, on his turn, he was going to say, clear the space. It's not your fault, Skid. It is the fault of Lork, Baron, and Cat Benatar.

No, it's Cat Benatar's fault. It's mostly Cat Benatar's. What's the problem? Well, I want to summon a huge creature, andatar. No, it's Cat Benatar's fault. It's mostly Cat Benatar's. What's the problem? Well, I want to summon a huge creature, and I can't. There's no room to do it. You can do it from behind? Oh, whatever. Yeah, I mean, you can summon it behind them.

Is there... Only this side of the door is... Are those doors open? This side of the door here is open. The door that... There's a ten-foot opening. Oh, actually, you know what? I'm going here is open. The door that's walked across. There's a ten-foot opening. Oh, actually, you know what?

I'm going to do it in the room that I'm in. Ah, okay. That'll work. So Pembroke completes the incantation of his spell, and he summons a huge ankylosaurus. What? His name's Alan. Alan the ankylosaurus. Boom? His name's Alan. Alan the Ankylosaurus. Does he take up a 15-foot square?

Yes. Oh, my God. So you basically summon him. You don't have one of those bases? No. No, I don't have one on me, but I'll get one. So an Ankylosaurus appears right past the table where you stone-shaped into the room. Yep.

Hello, my friend. It's going to take some teamwork to get this guy in doing business. Do you have a name for this Ankylosaurus? Alan. Alan, yes. Alan the Ankylosaurus. Alan, is it a thick Ankylosaurus? Yeah.

Okay. Yep. Sorry. Show me that smile. And he's going to use Metamagic Rod to shoot. Oh, actually, first, he's going to do knowledge checks on Orphos and the other guy. Okay. So knowledge religion, I assume, for Orphos.

Knowledge religion on Orphos. Okay. Oh, that's 15. That's not going to do it. You certainly recognize it. And would it be knowledge... What happened? Would it be knowledge local on the other guy?

It would be a little knowledge local. Tone local. Yep. Nah. Failure on both. Shaken. Kember's got a lot going on. Shaken.

Yeah. But he is going to fire, use the metamagic rod again, and let loose with magic missiles on Orphos. Okay. And is that spell resistance, right? It is. It is. All right. What is it?

How does it? I add my caster level. 17. That is going to be a fail. Man, we can't get any breaks. You picture Pembroke and Lork are going through what you guys are going through. Really? It makes sense. You just can't get any breaks. You picture Pembroke and Lork are going through what you guys are going through. It makes sense. You just can't. How do you

harm this guy? You know he's no good, but you can't do it. And we move on. Well, no, I still have another thing. Oh, I'm sorry. That was a magic rod. Yeah, I I'm going to cast a regular magic missile again. on Orphos.

There we go. That'll get it. Okay. So he gets through. Yep. And that'll be... All of a sudden, Lork just sees these 18 points of damage. Fireworks come in the room.

18 points of damage. Man, I was hoping. I was hoping, Skid, you would cast Magic Mixel on Orphos nor Kim. Because all of them just bounce off of that shimmering glow. Oh, he's got shield cast. That lork saw in front of him. Only took me 160 episodes, but I think I've figured you guys out. Only took me 160 episodes, but I think I've figured you guys out.

Round three, or as I call it, the end of Cat Benatar. Feyraza, you like animals, right? Feyraza is going to cast Warpwood on the unattended Scythe. There you go. No saving throw, right? He's not holding it. Yeah, I'm not holding it. I don't know the particular rules, but I'm assuming it's going to give it at least the broken condition. No, you take a minus four penalty on attack.

Minus four penalty on attack. It's bowed all of a sudden. You son of a bitch! If it's magic, though, does that affect it? Oh, good point, Skid. Good point, Skid. Magical weapons get their own saving throws. Let me check. It's a DC-16 Will.

It is not magical. It is a masterwork quality, but where he's not holding it, he doesn't get the chance, I believe. Yeah, because it would take the creatures. Alright. So it's warped. It's warped. It's a warped side. Alright. Hold me to that minus four Because I'm not going to put it in here

I don't have that kind of time You have to remember it Hold me to that minus four And then Ferraz is going to get the fuck out of the way Because there's a frigging dinosaur in the room So Ferraz Do you want to do anything? Do you want to open the door?

Oh The door is That will be a standard action Open the door I can't do it Or move it Oh good yeah Because you wormwooded right

You can move action Open the door But then I'm standing away So action to open the door. I can't do it. Or move it. Oh, good, yeah, because you wormwooded, right. You can move action, open the door, but you'd have to stand. But then I'm standing in the way, so I will just move myself out of the way. So she just moves to the left. Out of the way. That is... The Ankylosaurus can go through a friendly square. You can stay there and open the door and it'll be better. Can it still charge? Uh, it doesn't have to. No, it

cannot charge. Not with everybody else. It's not gonna charge anyways. It just has to be able to stand there. Oh, well, then I'll open the door. Yeah. All right, so she opens the door. Yes. And now there is a 40-foot opening into the room. Plenty of room for a dinosaur, but that room is cramped.

Yeah. It is cram-a-lam-a-ding-dong. Lork, any final words for Cap Minotaur? Oh, man. You're up. This is so bad. Yeah, this situation just turned really ugly really fast. And Lork turns around.

He sees the magic missiles. And they all don't affect Orphos. And then he sees a dinosaur. And the door busts open. And a freaking huge dinosaur is trying to work its way into the room. And Cap Minotaur is right in the path. So he's going to say, Cat, flank him with me. And try to get out of the way and get away from these guys.

So Cat is going to try to... Oh, no, that would just be silly. Yeah, well, it doesn't matter anyway. Cat is going to try to move. Actually, Lorcan's going to go first, and he's going to move around Orphos and out of the room. Back the way that Orphos came. Oh, into the next room. Into the next room.

Wow. So he's just going to roll an acrobatics check to avoid an attack of opportunity from Orphos. Orphos. All right. All right, so that's going to be... You're not going through his space. You're just going around. Just going around his space.

Yeah. Okay. That is a 21. 21. So sorry. That is going to be an attack of opportunity. Attack of opportunity. You want me to roll?

You know what, Grant? I'll let you roll this one. Me? Yes. No. I mean, no. Yes. I mean, no. this one. Yes. No, I mean no. Yes. I mean no.

Natural one. Yes! No! Fuck you, Troy! Grant, you have lost Orphos rolling for 11. Oh, come on! Bullshit. Bullshit.

Roll to confirm. 11. So that's going to be a 28 to hit. Oh, goddammit. No pop. 20 plus 17 to hit. Oh, no. And you continue on your movement, right?

Yeah, yeah. And even with combat reflexes, it wouldn't... Doesn't matter. It's the same type of movement. Yeah, and so... Look, let me stop you right there, because you're in a new room. I want to tell you what this room looks like. It looks like some sort of preparation room, similar to the first room that you came into.

preparation room. Similar to the first room that you came into. There are murals on the wall here depicting a titanic figure composed of ice tall enough to overshadow mountains stumbling into a vast

mist-shrouded body of water. Other than that, there are doors leading out and you don't see anything else. And it's, I'm sorry, it's a mural? It's a mural. Mural, okay. All along the wall.

And you see a table where you would think that Orphos was being brought back. Oh. Wow. So there's a big table in there. The table's like middle left of the room. Okay. That you're in. So you have some room to do some stuff. All right.

So finishing that move, he is going to do a shot. He's going to take one shot at Orphos yet again. 26. 26. Through that open door there. Maybe a little bit of cover. Yeah, that's going to be a hit. All right, there we go.

And he does 13 points of damage. 13 points of damage. You don't sound too excited by it. No, no, it's not a lot. But, I mean, it's hard to do a lot against non-giant subtypes. Sure. H'Lor can do so much more against giants, but not so much against non-giants. Yep.

And then Kat Benatar is doing the same exact thing, flanking around her enemy. Trying to get around. Yeah, so she's going to try to roll the acrobatics check. That's a 25. 25 acrobatics. No, that's a fail. Okay. It's going to try and slam Cat Benatar.

Okay. You don't like that? There's just no change in its ability so... So it can do that unarmed. Sure. Slam unarmed. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Slams Cat Benatar.

14. To hit? Yeah. Okay, so that's a miss. Okay. So, yeah, Cat is going to get all the way around and in the other room with Lork. All right, so Cat and Lork get in there. Now you guys are in a completely different room.

Right, we're on the other side of the enemy. So if the dinosaur gets in there... Barret is alone in that room with those two large creatures, and then Feyraza and Pembroke are in the other room with the dinosaur! And it is... Is that all you can do? That is all I can do. Cat's not going to attack because she's too far. You know, she only has melee attacks.

Okay. Cat shoots her bow four times. Alright, now based on where the giant because she's too far. You know, she only has melee attacks, so. Okay. Cat shoots her bow four times. Now, all right. Now, based on where the giant that almost killed Cat Benatar is standing, he can't charge because I said only the easternmost door is open, so I have to actually move into the room. However, that giant will follow Lork

and Cat Benatar into that room. Oh, that's bad. Is he going to pick up its scythe? Yeah. Yeah, right? Yeah, right? Yeah, right? It's messed up scythe.

Move action, pick up the scythe, move action into the room. Mother biscuit cutter. And ten feet away from Lork, or right directly next to it? You know what? He's not really afraid of Lork because Lork has just missed over and over and over again. So he'll stand right in the doorway there, slightly behind Orphos,

10 feet away from both Lork and Cat Benatar. A perfect place to do a cleave with a scythe if he has that ability. I'll have some time to look it up. In the meantime,'s baron's turn uh shit so baron really shit this is one of those situations this is a sticky wicked shit this is a sticky wicked baron is an impossible in an impossible situation baron hearing the anglosaurus behind him even though his master is aware that he can move through his square, just wants to clear out some room

so he's gonna move 15 feet towards the wall and then another 15 feet up the wall. Oh, so spider climbing up the wall. Welcome back, spider baron. Spider baron does whatever a spider... Alright. Cut that.

So he... So he walks towards that table With the half eaten human corpse That was only ten feet It was only ten feet to the table Okay so And you have the extra movement Because of the haste

Right that's a total of forty feet for me It's maximum Double your base movement speed Which is twenty as a dwarf So you're almost away You're almost This is the corner Between the wall and the ceiling

Just looking down That's badass That is amazing Pretty cool Pretty pretty Alright and then he is going to shit we can take this break for you to add two more points of damage to orfos nor kim because i completely forgot that lork's other favorite enemy is undead well how i told you that told you you're welcome

because of that swamp 130 episodes because we were going into that swamp and he thought it's gonna be full of skeletons yes whatever yep you dummy when metagaming backfires yep so yeah it's um it's an interesting kind of move because it's kind of putting me at a disadvantage I'm outside of touch reach

resolving its touch AC against both people. So Baron's gonna pull out one of something you haven't seen in probably a hundred episodes. What? He's gonna pull out Flash Powder. Whoa! Flash Powder.

Okay. And he's gonna make a ranged throw attack at them. Whoa. Flash powder. Okay. And he's gonna make a ranged throw attack at them. Okay. Creatures within a 10 foot radius burst are blinded for one round. Ooh. Oh, wow. It is a fortitude 13 negates, but it's the most creative

thing I can think of. Okay, I like it. Did you use that at Battle of Chunao, right? Is that the last time you used it? Yeah, I think so. That's going way back. Yeah. And I'm going to cash in a bottle cap to disadvantage Orphos. Disadvantage Orphos' rolls. Yes.

Wow. Let me get that. I like how you just put it down in front of me. Do Undead usually have good fortitude or bad fortitude? They usually have bad fortitude, right? Because they have no con. I don't know. But I don't know if they get unnaturally good Bad Fortitude, right? Because they have no con. I don't know. But I don't know if they get unnaturally good Fortitude saves or something.

Because they have no con. And you've got to remember, Orphos is his own beast right now. All right, Mr. Grant. So you're doing a ranged touch attack? Or you're throwing it in a square? Yeah, just throw it in a square in between the two of them. All right, that's AC5 to just hit a square. Boom, it's a hit.

All right. So, I've got to roll two two reflex saves for Orphos. Fortitude saves. Fortitude. Okay. Orphos made both of them. Of course. And then the other dude, oh yeah, crushed it.

Crushed city. So they both made their saves. Well, it was fun. Did they take any damage? No. They take no damage? No, no, no, no. So you basically just put on a big light parade.

Yep. I'm a big yellow fan, Troy. That's an illusion, Michael. Trick is something a whore does for money. Oh, but I'd like to... So you let me roll a knowledge check against Orphos earlier. Knowledge local, I think. Yes. So can I roll a knowledge check against Orphos earlier. Knowledge local, I think. Yes. So can I roll a knowledge

against the other creature? I will allow that. That's going to be a knowledge local. Okay, knowledge local. Beautiful. I don't know anything. Damn it. We cannot get these knowledges. Okay. What does one do in this situation? It's Orphos' turn.

He's a real fun guy to play, by the way. Real. A real treat. I mean, I guess he's going to do this fun little action here, if it's going to be beneficial to me. That's what I've got to really make the decision on here. Oh, this is great. Orphos is going to slide in front of the giant. This is so great. Orphos is going to slide in front of the giant. This is so great. And he

is going to stamp on the ground. Oh! And do thunder stomp to try and trip Baron off the wall. Oh. Boom! What? It's a trip attack against Baron. I would assume if he falls, he falls straight off the wall. But you can just...

It just says you can attack a creature on a wall? Well's it's basically your he hits the ground and it ripples throughout so i'm ruling that it goes up the wall i mean you could easily punch the wall next to him and shake it um it's too fun for me to not go for it so it is a straight up uh cmb it's going to be in the 30s do you want me to know you want me to know the full number against your CM Dizzle? Yes. 33. That gets me off. You trip and fall

20 feet? Sure. 12 points of damage. I rolled two sixes. Baron just falls. Now you might say, Troy, that's not how Thunderstomp works. That's how Orphos' Thunderstomp works. Boom, he's a magical creature.

Falls off the wall. Am I prone now? You are prone on the floor, laying next to the table with the mouth of this human just smiling at you with a big old red gala apple stuffed in it. And it is Pembroke's turn. Wait, he's lying on the table? He's lying on the table. So then that's only ten feet of falling, Troy, if I fell on a giant table.

All right, you know what? Give yourself six hit points. You're correct. Pembroke, what do you got? Pembroke and Alan. Vaudeville Act. So Pembroke steps aside and turns to Alan and says, Alan, we could use a bit

of the old ultra-violence. And Alan like, this rumbling howl, and he like, comes into the room and swings his mace-like tail

at... Is it a bipedal creature? I can't picture an ankle sword. No, no. Quadrupedal. They look kind of like turtles with a tail with a mace. Okay, yep, yep. So that thing whips around.

Yes. With its fucking tail. Oh, that is a 32 to hit. Yes! And that is a 32 to hit. Yes! And that is... Much needed. That is 26 points of damage.

Whoa! Wow, that is great! Just comes in... The comedy styling of Ted Ruckin' Allen. I always love involving dinosaurs We gotta get more dinosaurs I always think like sometimes you're scared Sometimes you're lonely

If like a dinosaur showed up and helped you How much better would you feel? I'd feel a lot better I think we should all get a plus one morale bonus I think the shake is on It was self imposed If you feel like this scared you up. I'm so heartened by the appearance

of my good dinosaur friend, Alan, that I'm like, I'm unbeatable. Pembroke is no longer shaken. He feels very confident by this. What are you going to do, Pem? So he's going to use his last quicken and... Oh, no. Yeah, actually, he's going to use

his last quicken and cast Dispel Magic on Orphos. Oh, that's brilliant. Okay, okay. Dispel Magic. This gets a little nutty, but you basically... I think you roll a caster level check. Yes. Well, first, does that allow spell resistance?

No. It doesn't. Okay, so it's just... Let's get into this let's get into spell magic so it's the dc is 11 plus the caster level of the spell being targeted right but basically you roll it and you i roll a caster level check right and the dc to dispel the spell is it starts with my highest level spell and then all the way and down. And it works down. Right. All right, so let's roll your thing first. 26.

26. Okay. That is enough to dispel something. Both of the spells that are on him right now are level one spells. Oh. So I'm going to roll to see which one it dispels. Well, I was going to aim for the shield. I can target. Target and dispel. Yeah. All right then uh shock shield is gone oh shock shield yeah so his ac goes down

and magic missiles will now go through and now i will use my my other spell cast to use my last instance of magic missile and this you would still have to roll spell resistance. Right. Okay, so spell resistance. 20. You made it. Yeah. SR 19. Oh, nice. So close. So good.

So good. So good. So good. So good. Sweet. 19 points of damage. Oh, Brutes Magoots. Wow. Orphos. Poor Orphos. We. 19 points of damage. Oh, Brutes Magoots. Wow.

Orphos. Poor Orphos. We're even in the fight. Guys, we're going to round four. I feel like this is going to be one of those rounds they're going to talk about. Fey Raza, you're up. A lot going on here. Baron just fell.

Apple in his mouth. There is a lot going on, And I cannot see into the room Really I don't have line of sight on anybody That's true there's a dinosaur in your way There's a dinosaur in my way I saw that I saw that

So Farazza is going to Wild shape Into an arctic turn Okay And then she's going to fly shape into an arctic turn. Okay. Standard action. Fair enough. And then she's going to fly into the room. Arctic turn, fly into the room.

Okay. And that's it. That's all I can do. You sure? Standard action, move action. Lork, you sure? And Cat Benatar. Lork and Cat Benatar. Alright, Lork is going to... I'm going to remove the shaking condition.

I can't even see Orphos right now. The giant is face to face with me. This is his favorite enemy. He knows what he's doing. He's getting himself settled down. Take your shots. Yeah. He's going to take off the shaking condition.

You are within his reach. Yep. He is going to... He is going to he is going to take a five foot step back. Leaving Cap Benatar completely open to the attacks of this giant. And he is going to

unleash Arrow Hell. Let's see if any of these can hit. He basically is going to have to get a critical hit on this guy. Does he still have the flame arrows? Is that still? It's got to be done by now. No, yeah, no. That was, yeah. That's a while ago. That was like a day ago.

What do you think? Over, under, one hit? How many attacks? What's that? How many attacks? He gets four attacks. I'd say one. I'd say one will get through.

One will get through. Miss. Yep. That's a good start. Natural four. Natural three. Oh, my God. Oh, there we go.

That's a 33. There we go. That's a 33. There we go. That'll hit. And that is nearly max damage. Oh, yeah. All right. He does 30 points of damage. Wow, the first real good blow against this guy. 30 points of damage.

Took you four rounds. Yeah, and then this one definitely going to have to be a natural 20. We put the overrunner at one. No, that's a 21. We got it, Matthew. What do we win? Misses on the last one. You have to be a natural 20. We put the overrunner at one. No, that's a 21. We got it, Matthew. What do we win? Misses on the last one. You get to play the pathfinder.

Anything left for Catty Benz? No, I'm going to tell Cat Benatar to withdraw. So Cat's going to get out of the way and kind of go into the corner of the room. Wow. So Cat just straight up withdraws to the corner. Limping. Which means it is this creature's turn to step up and straight up attack Lork with two attacks. Bring it!

Full round action. Five foot step. Here we go. It's got its scythe back. Matthew, are you ready to remind Troy? Yes, I am. Oh, the minus four. All right.

I'm taking... Do I want to take power attack off? Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to take power attack off. Leave combat expertise on. Ah, that's the high AC. I'm nervous here. I really want to kill you.

Oh, you're definitely going to hit me. I can tell you that much. Oh, it's out of the box and it's a natty one. Here we go. I rolled the same thing. All right. For what it's out of the box and it's a 91! Here we go. I rolled the same thing. All right. 22 to hit.

Minus four. 18. Yes! That would have been a hit and is now not a hit. Nice. Son of a bitch! Nice job at you! Next one, another miss. Yes!

Tis fate, LeBally. Tis fate. I've got such a high to hit, but Neon Green is not with me. Oh, this guy is so dead. Today, Baron, you just, boom, hit that table. Crack. Baron rubs, like, the plaster and whatever stone has fallen in his eye from that thunderclap, and he kind of clears his vision and focuses in on Orphos Norkim, whose name he does not

know, really. It says, I don't know who you are, but I'm sending you straight back to hell. And while prone, takes a swift action to enact Bane against half orcs or orcs on his weapon. Nice. And will take four attacks against

him. Bane, I love this! Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. And we'll apply four of his remaining five grip points to be up close and deadly with each shot. Wow. Question, do you take any penalties being ranged from prone? No, with a gun, it's like a bonus. Oh, God. It's not an actual bonus, but you're prone with a gun. You're almost more stable.

This is not good. Yep, it is not good. It's so cool. You guys picture around the table. It'd be like, boom, boom, boom, boom. Yeah, God. It's not an actual bonus, but you're prone with a gun. You're almost more stable. This is not good. Yep, it is not good. It's so cool. You guys picture around the table. It'd be like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. This is so badass. The first one is a 30. Second one is a misfire.

Oh, yeah! The belly wins this round. Third one. Wait, do you have a grip point? I can keep on. I don't need the quick clear. The only threat is that my gun will burst if I misfire again. Oh, so you just keep going.

Yep. Wow. The third one is a 24, and the fourth one is another misfire. Oh, no! The gun explodes! No! And we'll see you next week! No!

No! No! I went out in a blaze of glory Oh no That's amazing The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated. Giant Slayer is copyright 2015.

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