The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 163 - Bear With Us

Episode Date: July 10, 2018

With the threat of Skirgaard still looming, the party must recover from their losses and find a way to move forward. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast, as Baron focuses on the path ahead. Before I started this journey, I didn't believe in fate. But time and time again, fate has made me turn a path towards a way I never thought I'd go before. A disturbing vision. Have you ever heard of someone trying to scry and yet seeing into the past. No. Brings a dark secret into the party. Do not tell the sheriff, please.

No. All right. Until we understand what is happening to me. This is deeply troubling. With time running out. There's no time. There's no time. We can't go recruit.

We can't put out a Craigslist ad for recent skier cart adventurers. Party of three seeks a fourth. That'll get all the wrong emails, Troy. The heroes must decide. We must return there to defeat these giants. Who will be returning to Skirgard?

So that is everyone on board with that plan? Holy crap. The adventure continues. Most of you in this world or the next. Right now. Hello everybody and welcome to episode 163 of the Glass Cannon podcast. It's me, your host for the intro, Skid Maher. You guys might have seen on our social media, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter that we have been putting some work into the new space.

We have been installing sound dampening, and it is just about ready to go. We are ready to start recording in a decent space now instead of being crammed into a giant Kleenex box. And it's kind of like in Return of the Jedi when it's the Death Star. It looks like, oh, it's under construction. This is a fully armed and operational battle station just about ready to go. So we're excited for you guys to hear the fruits of that. And, you know, we've all been going through changes. All of us on the network have been going through changes

in our lives lately, some wonderful, some difficult. But the products, the shows, the podcasts, the company is something that we've all been able to point to. It's been a point of pride, something we can point at and say, we made this. It's like, this is something good that we've been able to accomplish. And we know that it's because of you guys, especially those of you who donate your hard-earned money every month on the Patreon. And I hope, we all hope that you guys feel a little bit of the same sense of pride in what we've been able to do that we do.

So thank you for that. But there's been some changes happening on the Glass Cannon Podcast too, some pretty important stuff. So I don't want to waste any more time. So let's get right into the newest episode of the Glass Cannon podcast entitled Bear With Us. We do a lot of heavy episodes on this show from time to time. So it was nice last week just to have a calm, relaxed kind of gab session. Didn't really advance the plot at all. Oh my God.

Ask any big questions. Make any big reveals. It was just more of like a shopping, healing, channel positive energy. Housekeeping app. A little housekeeping app. Gotta have those once in a while. Trading in rubies for gold. Don't you talk about my rubies.

Keep my rubies out of your mouth. Lost the news. I forgot. I wanted to mention it last week, but I forgot. Joe, you had said, and this is something that everyone but Matthew will appreciate, that episode one. I'm really concerned about what you're about to say. I don't know what this is something that everyone but Matthew will appreciate. That episode one. I'm really concerned. I don't know what this is going to be.

161 was when Lork died. Episode 61, Misconnections. Yeah. Joe pointed that out right after. Exactly 100 episodes. 100 episodes later. Creepy. Creepy.

Crazy. The curse is real. We had... I appreciate that. You do appreciate that? No. What episode is this, by the way? This is 163.

Three. Hey, guys, congratulations. We've done 163 episodes. I can acknowledge arbitrary goals as well. No, but wait. Ta! This is the weird thing, though, because we were recording the other night, and you guys were saying, because we're like, saying Oh I think this place is haunted

I didn't hear this Joe and I distinctly heard A ghost playing one note on a piano I mean no exaggeration We both heard it, it was right over there We were all standing here I didn't hear it I agree with everything except for the ghost part

I heard it Well who agree with everything except for the ghost part. I heard it. Well, who was playing the piano then, Grant? We don't have a piano. Where did that piano go? It was a ghost piano. Oh. I thought about it some more, and it's definitely a ghost. Yep.

And it's definitely not the place down the hall that does kids' musical theater auditions. No. It's definitely a ghost. It was definitely a ghost because everything else theater auditions no it's definitely A ghost it was definitely because we Don't everything else we hear whether it's On the street or out in the hallway Is muffled that was one Single like piano key Above middle C that just went

Troy and I literally went to the Same I mean we heard it Some 25 30 feet away and we Walked to the same like square Five foot square of where we heard it some 25, 30 feet away, and we walked to the same, like, square, five foot square, of where we heard it come from. 100% someone died here that was a pianist. And I said as I was leaving that, like, there are two types of ghosts.

I like that theory. I like that theory. It's a ghost piano. There are those that are, like, trapped in their, you know, just recycling those of one event from their life, and then there are like trickster ghosts and this is a trickster ghost did you hear anything skid after we left no i was here i hung out for a little bit after you guys left and i didn't hear anything but i don't know i was here i was here over the weekend packing up some t-shirts and i was sitting alone in this little

like weird cubby room that we have that we're in this new space and i was just sitting there packing t-shirts and then all of a sudden just like sounds started to magnify i think it was just people like next door but i was so freaked out i think it was a ghost yep i mean it was definitely a ghost it's pretty cool but our definitely not anybody else that it works and lives in the building do you do you guys really believe in ghosts real talk yeah absolutely okay do you joe troy no i'm getting there i'm getting the room i started the question i'm asking the question here joe no i i don't believe in ghosts but i thought that was a ghost okay matthew i wish ghosts exist excuse me well i grew up in a house that was purportedly haunted and everyone my parents like everybody was convinced that like my mom saw the ghost uh

several times we had trouble getting babysitters because, like, everyone in the neighborhood, like, knew the house was haunted. So. That kind of explains Skid. Yeah. Yeah. Skid's touched. I have a theory.

Touched by an angel? I think it's even bigger than that. Where did the angel touch you? What do you think it's bigger? I think Skid is the ghost. Oh. That's the twist. That's the twist. That wasn't real at all. I was never real. You're never I think Skid is the ghost. Oh. That's the twist. That's the twist.

That wasn't real at all. I was never real. You're never real. Skid Ma, yeah, he was on a podcast 100 years ago. Died right in this spot. What are you talking about, Troy? Nice anniversary. Skid's been dead for 50 years.

Rumor has it you can still hear him play one key on a piano. His mother would make him practice every night around this time. Oh, he hated playing that piano, but he'd bang away on those little keys every night. He especially hated that F sharp on the middle keys. That was his least favorite note. So ridiculous. Do you believe in ghost grant? Well, two quick stories.

Oh boy. One, multiple people who've lived with my wife through college and through post-college and the roommate kind of stage of their life have seen ghosts looking over my wife at night while she's been asleep and they've been awake. And another one of my friends, Amanda, had these chairs in her dorm or in her apartment in austin texas and a friend she'd never met before a friend of a friend came over that she'd never met before sat down in the chair jolted straight back up and said there's someone sitting in that chair i can't sit there and then she said what do you mean who's sitting there and she described note for note the

clothing that her grandparents wore before they died. Come on. And those were her grandparents' chairs that she took to her apartment afterwards. Whoa. So I don't believe in ghosts at all, but I love those two stories, and they're the most compelling. Two people I know and love and trust implicitly have these great stories. You clearly don't trust implicitly. As far as the ghost part goes, I don trust but i love those stories both of them they

are great stories yeah why not i have i have stories too i know we because you're a ghost give us your best ones well so this house that i grew up in uh was built in like 1898 in denver and capitol hill and it was yeah supposedly haunted and my mom said like she always maintained that the ghost had a routine like every night like she would be like in the kitchen washing dishes around like 9 30 at night and the ghost would make rounds like he would he would patrol like the first floor and he would like stand in the doorway and watch her like wash dishes and she could only see him as like a silhouette out of the out of the out of her peripheral vision if she looked right at it right at it like she wouldn't say anything but she could see it like out of her

peripheral vision out of the corner of your eye and he would make a loop around the first floor go to the second floor like check in like on being my sister and then like go to the attic and you wouldn't see him again until morning and when we were moving out of the house for breakfast he liked him over easy eggs that's so dusty up there. But he'd come down. But so when we were moving out of the house, my dad cleaned out everything. Like he had cleaned out. Everything was gone out of the house. We were like in the U-Haul getting ready to go.

And my dad felt compelled to go check the basement one more time. And so he went inside into the house and he went down to the basement. There was a shelf that he had previously cleared off. And there was a stack of papers like sitting there where there was nothing before and he looked through them and they were all love letters from this the guy who originally owned the house like back in the early part of the 20th century to his wife at the time he was a lawyer like when he was in law school it's like all these letters like to his to his wife soon-to-be wife and that there was along with it there was a giant beautiful map of the proposed

colorado tramway system denver tramway system it's like a you know like uh trolleys right and uh gorgeous full color like printed in like 1902 and he left the letters to the people about the house but he kept the map and he still has it up in his house that is cool now paranormal experts would tell you that he is linked to those letters and that's why he this is a repetitive ghost would go through that stuff because he is linked uh spiritually to the physical uh letters yeah so cool yeah how many episodes of ghost hunters have you watched oh i used to be obsessed i couldn't tell great show um now you see that's a repetitive ghost now let me ask you this whatever egon does anybody have any bottle caps currently yes

that you didn't not that you brought from home no no i have two official bottle caps uh i have a bottle light lime bottle cap skin no Light Lime bottle cap, Skid? No. I have a bottle cap, but I honestly can't remember if you gave it to me for this or for Starfinder. Oh, yes.

We need to really mark these. All right, so Skid has one. You have one. I think we need to put a whiteboard up behind you. We absolutely do, right. Because I forget. I think I might have one,

but I'm not going to claim that i do because i don't think that's fair well let me ask you this had that way we can say put it on the board put it on the board yeah that'd be fun put what on the board we get one every 20 episodes that's true you ain't no grant you definitely have one you just got one he used it you used your thunder you're you're uh you're uh killing the killing Orphos one? Did you give me one for Killing Orphos? Yes, you did. Because you appreciated that Grant let you Thunderstomp him off the wall, even though that wasn't the rules.

Yes, that's true. Ah, that doesn't sound like something... No, but I turned it... No. You turned one in for me. No, no, no. You gave it right back to me. I turned it in, and then you gave it back to me because I went along with it. Well, let me ask you this.

Thank you, Matthew. Had. Put that right. Put it on the board. Had. Board. Take that, Matthew Berry. We're coming for you.

Had Joe decided to have Lork come back and was to roll on the table, would someone have given him a bottle cap? Yeah, if I had one, I would have given it to him. Huh. Just for shits and giggles, let's roll twice and see what the options are. Yeah! Okay, let's do it. And let's roll on that other table.

We'll do both. Let me give mine, because I have two, you only have one. Well, this is just for fun, so you can actually keep it. Don't actually spend the bottle cap. Let me grab that for you. Do we want to do the expanded list or the official list?

Let's do both. We'll do both. We'll do both. See what it would have been with the basic list and then with the expanded. Do you have a D100,

Joe? Yeah, Matthew, let me know when it's up. I'm ready. He has it ready. Do you have the expanded?

I have both. Which one are we doing first, Troy? The regular. The regular list. I can put the same number on the table. Both tables correspond

to numbers one through 100, by the way. Matthew is smarter than all 1 through 100, by the way. Matthew is smarter than all of us. Here we go. Go ahead, Matthew. Here's the first roll. 95.

Ooh. Full orc on the official table. There you go. And if this is Elf. And troglodyte on the official table. That would have been awesome. Good luck walking through town as a troglodyte. They stink.

And then They stink And then The other 18 All the way on the other side Elf Elf again Oh my god Wow

Or dwarf In the other book Wow Strange Wow so straight out of the book You might have rolled Those same exact numbers It was the same exact

Not the same numbers But it was the same results Yeah Elf and orc That is so creepy Wow It's a ghost among us There's a ghost among us. There's a ghost among us.

They might be scared. I believe in ghosts now, Troy. It is me. Wow. Well, that's what I wanted to do. Just to see. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week.

We're doing a quick one this week. I want everyone to retreat into their mind's eye for a moment and imagine a relatively calm, serene nature setting. And as we look across the setting, it starts to get darker and darker, both in like the nature itself. The trees are starting to look more gnarly and the limbs are going out in all crazy directions. The grass looks charred, as if something in the area has affected nature itself. We keep moving in that direction, and we see a horde of orcs. And they're cheering at the base of some building they're just like stamping raising great axes into the air and falchions and all sorts of shit just going wild

in with the orcs there's also other creatures as well but orcs seem to be the dominant creatures we look a little closer and you see that the orcs are mostly undead whoa and they're standing at the base of this dark basalt and iron tower Black as night. Jagged black stone. Torn iron just going up, up, up. Maybe 400 stories. And at the top, there's a little balcony. And out walks this horrifying looking creature. It has a mask over its face. Four antlers coming out of its head,

and it just seems to be radiating like purple electricity. Oh, this sounds familiar. And it stands with its arms outraged, and the crowd's like, this army of the undead. Just going

wild like the White Walkers. And this being at the top raises forth a human dressed in full plate and raises it up over its head. And with a flash of its arms, immolates the body in his hands, and then throws it down amongst the undead. It hits the ground. The undead scatter. Some of them even get hit by it and start catching fire. And they're all just as the creature at the top of the building is just like soaking it all in and getting the crowd all riled up.

We go back down and we see this flame lick higher and higher into the sky. And off in the distance, just outside of this mayhem, is Feyraza El-Sed standing there watching.

Maybe 50, 60 feet away. And all of a sudden it's like, boom! We're back and white eyes explode into pupils. And a very young Feyraza sits in a room with an older woman dressed in robes. What did you see this time? I saw... I saw City in the Clouds.

I saw City in the Clouds. I saw a dark tower surrounded by undead orcs, an army of them, and a terrifying, terrifying creature who set a man on fire and dropped him into the crowd, and they all cheered. May I ask you something, Veraza? Yes, of course.

Do you think this is a game? What? I told you these magics are powerful. If they do not work, just tell me they do not work. Do not make up these fairy tales and stories of

towers and undead. I saw it. I swear. That is impossible. You are clearly not ready to learn these truths. I'm sorry. I'm telling you the truth. That is what I saw.

Perhaps you should look deeper within yourself. And only then will we try again. She walks out. She continues walking outside into a vast desert with pyramids and broken monuments in the background. And then Feyreiser wakes up in Briella's hut. Wow.

Whoa. What is going on? That's some Ozymandias shit right there. Yeah, yeah. Whoa. So much time jumping. Seriously. Wow.

And Farazza just sits up, and I think she's just, like, sweating bullets, even though it's, you know, cold up here in the mountains. Sure. And I think she she's been thinking a lot about what she's seen. And now she's starting to question things she's seen in the past. I think she really wants to talk to Pembroke. Uh huh.

He would be the wisest in the group and the oldest and the oldest well i mean i might have a higher wisdom score but in terms of role play i have a higher wisdom score than any of you okay all right it would be the most intelligent yes there you go there i do have an intelligence of 23 that's it pretty smart yeah wait who has the highest overall just single attribute score 23 sounds like the highest i think it might be yeah holy shit i make einstein look like um troy heisenberg a damn fool yeah uh so you want to talk to pembroke about all this maybe ferraz is like kind of like squats next to wherever he's he's sleeping i'm okay yeah and wakes him up

thought it was the grim reaper come to take me at last it is only you ferrara would the grim reaper be wearing glasses no no i well sometimes i maybe the grim reaper could put a comb through her hair. I don't want to give you a grooming tip, but perhaps in future... No, I'm sorry.

What time is it? It doesn't matter. Have you ever, in your knowledge or in your travels or in your reading or anything, ever heard of an army of undead orcs? Perhaps at one point around some sort of tower. Dark and jagged edged with salt and iron. And spikes and chains hanging off the walls

this this sound familiar to you at all um pembroke like shoots up in bed puts his legs over the side of the bed and like lays his hand on her forearm it's like why do you ask me this why do you ask me this you must not tell the others but I I've been seeing things and once I'd forgotten but very very long ago I

I saw this I was trying to see trying to scry and I saw this tower and it strange and terrifying trying to scry. And I saw this tower. And a strange and terrifying creature wearing a helm of four horns on top.

Antlers. Antlers, yes, exactly. You know what this is? Yes, yes. You know where this is? I do. This is very strange. I have never seen it myself.

I have sought it. That is why I came here on this journey in the first place, was to see it. You have described the Gallows Spire. But you... This is the headquarters of the whispering tyrant himself. But he was defeated some 900 years ago

by the Shining Crusade. He had great armies of undead orcs at his command. But his his essence has been trapped beneath the tower for hundreds of years. I saw him.

This would have been 15 years ago, maybe. Just as I was beginning to stretch my powers, I reached out to see my powers I reached out to see and I found myself standing among the orcs but this cannot be no you say he's been imprisoned for hundreds of years

hundreds of years he was broken physical form lost, trapped 900 years these these are dark tidings have you ever heard

of someone trying to scry and yet seeing into the past no, the spell you and yet seeing into the past? No. The spell you describe, it does not work that way.

It sees things that are, not things that were. There is something else at work here. This is the spell that you are trying to use. I know it. I've used it multiple times. It hasn't always failed. But perhaps I have succeeded at another task. Do not tell the sheriff, please.

No. I beg of you. No. No. All right. Until we understand what is happening to me. This is deeply troubling. Thank you for telling me. We will... We will decipher the for telling me. We will... We will decipher the meaning

of this. I will help you, if I can. He lays his hand on her shoulder and... Well... We'll be going back to sleep after that. It's about to start the day, I think. And he gets up and he starts, like, washing his face.

Baron, what's going on with you this morning? Baron actually probably woke up a little bit early. Took a walk around Skelton. Took a couple of Advil. Took a couple of Advil. Got him from his old buddy, Roy, the hat maker. He's also the apothecary in town. He's got a lot of jobs.

And he's just kind of taking stock of things um he can't imagine um what why why lork didn't come back why didn't want to come back um he knows that firaza and pembroke really wanted him to come back and he's just really hoping something didn't go wrong in the incantation, which took much longer than the last time I heard of it, at least, when Fairaza told me about how it happened the first time. And now I think, you know, he spent the last couple days bringing his firearm back from the totally exploded condition now from the broken condition condition now into the uh from the broken

condition there into working again and he's kind of feeling the seam along the side of della that he's kind of repaired over time and it's probably stronger than ever but it's left a scar it's kind of like having the perfect break in a bone yeah um and he's he's wondering how much more it can take and how much more he can take and he kind of meanders his way back into the house probably around the time that firaza and pembroke finish their conversation so you come back um briella prepares a modest breakfast for you, offers some coffee. And sometime before afternoon hits, there's a loud knock at the door. Dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum. So Briella closes up her robe and walks over to the door.

And there is a young man standing outside. He's got a white shirt on with like a red vest that's sort of ill-fitting over the white shirt. And short pants with one leg longer than the other. And a little red hat on, kind of like a fez, but not very appropriate for the town. And he's human, darkish skin, which could very well just be from, you know, being wind whipped up here.

And you can hear them conversing. Just like... up here and you can hear them conversing Secret secrets are no fun Come in Pembroke Ferraz Baron This is

This is Merrin He is Merrin, could you give us a moment? Okay, sure this is Marin. He is Marin, could you give us a moment? Okay, sure. And so this guy walks away. I don't like this guy. She's like

this young man says there is someone looking for a healer or a seer or something. I'm not quite sure. I'll entertain him. I just want to let you know, I don't call him this,

but there are those in town that refer to him as Slow Merrin. Rude. Very rude. Yes, he was kicked by a donkey on multiple non-consecutive occasions. on multiple non-consecutive occasions. He's the Grover Cleveland of donkey kicking. He's not. For a minute there, I was like,

what do you have against Grover Cleveland? That's worth a bottle cap. Awesome. I honestly thought that's where you were going. I honestly thought Marin was going to be mayor. Mayor. Eventually president. So please just don't be rude to him.

I'm not the one who called him slow Marin. I don't call him that. I just want to let you know what the locals call him. And then she laughs. Donkey kick. Maren, so what is it you're saying? Oh, well, you know, the guy, the traitor, You know, the guy, the traitor, he says that he was told that there is a seer that he needs to find. It's very important.

And so I thought, well, maybe Briella is a seer. So I came here, but I didn't want to bring him here because I know, you know, you may not want to see him, so I just wanted to come and see if you would have any interest in talking to him. He seems very intent on meeting

someone, and he says he's supposed to be here for a very important reason, and, you know, says he's he's supposed to be here for a very important reason and uh you know i just i don't know what to do uh well uh marin i uh i i am not a seer i am a a healer uh i this is the trader the shawanti yes, that comes to town from time to time? Yes, yes, yes. Merrin, one of the things he acquired during his donkey kicks was the ability to speak Shawanti fluently. It's very strange. This is strange.

So many of his other senses have been dulled. Stranger and stranger and more offensive as we get. He speaks fluent Chianti. Better than Chianti, I know. But he's in contact with this trader and evidently he's looking for

something. I don't think, Merrin, that I'm who he's looking for. Did he say anything else? No, there's something about he needs to go to the mountain. I don't think I can help with that.

I'm sorry, Merrin. And she starts to usher him out. Stewardess, I speak Shawanti. I don't know if this will help, but I am... Matthew is a very big fan of skin. He's just looking at it with glowing eyes and laughing. skin he's just looking at it with glowing eyes and laughing i am actually i am quite fluent in the language of of the tribes if if i can be of any assistance here the qua the all the qua well i mean if you wanted to talk to this man he is a bit of an

outsider um but uh I'm sure you would you're welcome to speak with him I don't think he has anything to do with with you but Merrin would he talk to outsiders I'm sure he would he only really gets to converse

with me in his native tongue so if one of you would like to delight him with some of that, I'm sure he would quite enjoy that. Well, wonderful. Is he coming here, or should we go to him? Oh, no,

you can come with me, and I'll take you to him. Yes, well, I can practice my show-ante with you, Merrin, on the way. Oh, I would love that. That would be so nice. Lovely. I so rarely get a chance to do it. Well, off we go. All right.

I'm going to, as we walk out of there, because I feel bad that he's called Slow Merrin, and that Briella took such delight in that, I am going... I am reveling. I am going to cast onto marin as we leave guidance and i'm going to i'm going to get i wish i could so now he's normal

oh i get it now i'm slow nobody gonna cast guidance yeah i'm gonna cast guidance on him so anything he does attack roll saving throw a skill check on the way out of here, he's going to get a plus one confidence bonus. Maybe it'll make him look a little bit cooler in front of everyone that makes fun of him. Hey, a plus one reflex bonus if a stray donkey gets in his path. Yep. That's going to make all the difference between him being slightly more dull or knowing Ifrit by the end of the day. All right. knowing Ifrit by the end of the day.

All right, so he walks you back towards an inn, and as he's going, he's like, this is really nice of you because he, you know, I talk to this guy whenever he comes to town, and he seems very, very nice, but a lot of people in town treat him a little bit differently. You know, he lives actually out below the elevators and the waterfalls in a little shack

just outside of Skelt. I think it would be really nice if you guys could talk to him and offer him some guidance. Very good, Merrick. Sorry, I thought I saw a donkey.

It's just a tree. Alright. Here's the end. Let me introduce you. I should tell you, he's not super talkative but he may communicate

with me and obviously you sir you'll be able to understand him as well. Of course in my experience the Shawanti people are often stoic and reticent and misunderstood. I'm hoping that we'll be able to develop a rapport Can you tell me what his name is?

Be a good start. Yes, his name is Four Bears. Four Bears. Yes. I should let you know he doesn't always speak with words. All right. All right. That's a lot of linguistic training.

Nothing then, I suppose. But let's have at it. Come on in. Thank you. And he walks you into an inn. It's, you know, the beginning of the day. It's dwarf country. They're already boozing. And...

Grant just raised the glass. As are we. It's been drinking whiskey since we walked in. It's been drinking Grant's whiskey. That's true. No one else can have it. Because my name's on the bottle. I said, like, okay, you saw the bottle. It's like, oh, there's true. No one else can have it either. Because my name's on the bottle. I said, like, okay, you saw the bottle. It's just like, oh, there's only one bottle of whiskey, and it's Grant's. Damn it.

He put his name on it. No one literally says Grant's blended scotch whiskey. You know what? You know what? Name that bottle. Did you guys see the bottle of bathtub gin that just said Joe's on it? Joe's bathtub gin. Fun behind-the-scenes fact.

When Grant soundchecks, he just says his name over and over. Grant Burger. Grant Burger. Grant Burger. I think that sounds good. Grant's broken again, guys. Time to oil up the Grant. It's kind of loop.

Oh, my God. again guys time to oil up the grant it's kind of loop so slow marin leads you into the bar excuse me guided marin leads you into the bar and uh you know you scan your eyes across the room and like i said you see mostly dwarves except towards the back corner near like the bathroom is a hulking figure of a man Joe what would you say this man looks like?

He is like you said hulking very large guy with a, show-anti by the look of him, with long jet black hair. Oh. He's a little bit, he isn't young. He isn't on the younger side. You would guess his age at least in his 30s or 40s.

In his 30s or 40s. And he's wearing, I mean, he's sort of like outfitted for an adventure, from what you can tell. I mean, he's armored. He's not armored, but he's wearing heavy furs. And he's armed with a thick, heavy mace at his belt. Whoa. And leaning on the table that he's sitting at is this, uh, like four foot tall wooden shield. That's just leaning against the table with,

uh, this kind of beautiful, uh, symbol on it. And, uh, uh, he's,

he's not looking at you yet. He's not looking at the door. He's just sort of sitting there, uh, with his eyes closed, kind of mumbling to himself. So Pembroke ambles up with his cane staff supporting him. He says, hello.

And he gives a traditional Shawanti greeting. It's like, may the sun rise on your herds and the sun sets on a full belly. And he sort of snaps out of it and turns slowly to regard you. He's looking up at you, and then he screeches his chair back, and you can see that his knees are basically pushing the underside of the table up. He leans down on the table and stands himself up, and he's towering. I mean, he's six foot six, maybe. Nice.

And just big all around, and with the furs on, it just makes him seem even larger. Yeah. Just kind of this hulking sort of creature. this hulking sort of creature. And he looks at you with these kind of knowing eyes, and he just quietly sort of takes you in, and he says, and sort of repeats the same thing back to you, and then sort of quizzically turns and says,

in Shawanti you speak Shawanti yes yes a little I have been out of work for some time practice practice cheese out of cheese

my name is Pembroke. These are my companions. This is Feraza and this is Baron. And I'm sorry, I was told that your name is, and he says the word for four bears and the word for ancestors in Shawanti. I wasn't sure which one it was.

There are homophones in common, but not in Shawanti. I wasn't sure which one it was. There are homophones in common, but not in Shawanti, so I was just wanting to clarify what your name was. He continues to talk in Shawanti. And he's saying you are much more well-versed in the language

than you let on. There is depth to your understanding. He says, daishashi, which is four bears, is not, the word is not ancestors. It is the word. Four, so he holds up his four fingers. Yes, exactly. Four bears, and then, it is a very important number.

Four. Yes. I understand. Thank you. Would you join me? I thank you. It would be my pleasure. And he sits down.

May my companions join you as well. I would like that. Yes, I'm waiting for word of a... And then he uses another term in Chianti, which you know to mean spirit walker. Ah, okay. Have you been in this town long?

Uh, we have on and off. Uh, this time only a couple of days. Do you know of a spirit walker? one who converses with the dead? Well, um... And he kind of

leans back and he turns to the other two. He says, Four bears here, his first mate on a ship that might suit us. And he just, like, describes, like, what has been going on. And he just like described like what is going on anyway he he leans in to fair asa and he says he out he asks if there is one here that has seen visions that seems more than coincidental. And I know you told me not to share it with the others, but I don't know if you want me to reveal what's been happening with you. I would advise not, but I'm not sure he means me.

Is it possible he wants to talk to Shael? I shall ask. And don't forget to sense motive. Yes. I am sorry. Have you met, have you become familiar with Shael, who is here in this hamlet? Says, I do not speak to many people in this town only

Meron who has been a great friend we are best friends yes thank you Meron there is a soothsayer that Meron knows and that we have been staying with, her name is Shia. Is this whom you seek?

Perhaps. Could you take me to her, please? Yes, yes, of course. Let us be off. Sorry, and he just sort of like, he stands and he puts his hand on your shoulder. It's a massive hand, like even in proportion to his body. It's kind of an unusually large hand. And he just sort of sets it on your shoulder and is like,

which is just thank you. And it's like a serious, like, you've done me a great service, sort of. Thank you. And then he's going to follow you wherever you go. So we go back to Shiel's hut. What actor plays this guy? Good question. He's played by Gil Cunningham.

Gil Cunningham? Gil with two L's? One L? One L. Two L's. One L too many. There's no gils with two L's. Gil with two G's, right?

Three I's, I think. Is that a fish? Gil Cunningham. I don't think this person exists, Joe. I don't think they exist, Joe. I see Gilbert Godfrey, so I'm going to go with that if you don't produce Gil Cunningham. I'm seeing some Gil Cunninghams that work in event marketing. Yeah, Gil Cunningham Neste Event Marketing.

His actual name is Gil Birmingham. Oh. Oh. Okay. All right. Gil Birmingham. Oh, yeah. Oh, I know that dude.

Yeah, he's awesome. Oh, he's great. He's in, what the hell is he in? The Twilight movies. I don't watch that shit. He was just in Hell or High Water. Oh, yeah. He was Jeff Brid Hell or High Water. Oh, yeah. He was Jeff Bridges' associate.

Oh, he's great. Oh, he's awesome. Oh, that's great. He's a fabulous actor. And recently in Wind River, if you haven't seen that. I need to see that. He also, appropriately enough, played what was her name from 30 Rock's father?

30 Rock and the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt's father. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and it's super racist. Yes. Well, no, it was brought in to explain her backstory and to justify it. But yeah. And he'll be here in a couple episodes to justify Joe's accent. There we go.

What's her name? Ellen McBeal. She was in Ellen McBeal. Jane Krakowski. Yes, Jane Krakowski. Jane Krakowski. Thank you.rakowski Jane Krakowski, thank you So he's going to follow you Follow you back

Cool So you head back to Briella's place With Slow Marin Regular Marin Regular Marin With Marin He's such an asshole Just with Marin

You created this character You created it just so you could be an asshole Matthew, you don't understand That's what the people in Skelton call him. And I don't approve of it. But I'll be damned if I don't play him correctly. We're gonna get in trouble. You bring him...

You all head back to Briella's and, uh, you know, knock on the door. You don't have your own key at this point. And, uh, Briella answers and sees all of you there is kind of surprised like why what what's what's what's happening who is oh is he no is this her say uh yes this is her i i don't understand you're here to see me what and? And he says, ask her, tell her I'm to see her about going to the mountain.

He says that he has, seeks a seer and he needs to speak to the seer about going to the mountain. Does this make any sense to you? It makes sense to me. Did you? And behind her is Shael. make any sense to you? It makes sense to me. Did you? And behind her is Shia. Hmm. And Shia is like,

I know what he speaks of. Come in, please. Okay. And so you all go in. What? I don't speak Shouanti. Perhaps you could help me looking at them.

Yes, I'd be more than happy. What? What is he talking about? The mountain? Yes, and he clarifies, and he's just like, the mountain. He's here to speak to the seer about the mountain. And he's doing these, like, aggressive hand motions. What about? Going and

pointing to the mountain. What about the mountain? Uh, what mountain? He's, again, speaking in Chianti. I do not know what mountain. The mountain of Yitsushash.

Yitsushash. Yitsushash. Yitsushash. The giants. Ah, Scare God. He turns to Four Bears and says, Scare God. He perks up immediately, like recognizes this name, but doesn't know why. And then starts saying to you that he heard that name. Now he remembers he heard that name when they spoke to him, the spirits.

Ah, yes. We have been there. We have been there much and often recently. That is the home of frost giants. And then he, like, looks at you very urgently and says, can you take me? I am going to do a sense motive. 15. 22.

Did you tell us that he asked that? Yeah. To make my sense motive fair? Well, you would have heard like Skirgard. I rolled a 28. Yeah, you get the sense that he is asking to go to the mountain because he has a desperate need to go there but doesn't know how. What mountain or where it is.

He reaches up and taps you kind of like on your bottom of your thigh right as your kneecap goes. He turns and looks down at you. And he's kind of making hand motions You Want to go To Skiergard Skiergard Very dangerous

It has killed our friends Lots of people Die on that mountain Are you sure Baron Faraz is like jerking her elbow in the direction of Shia and Brienne. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Just keep on talking to Pembroke. I am available to translate. Why is this dwarf yelling at me? He is a little over eager. I'm sorry. He's been drinking since breakfast. He's drunk. he's been veteran drunk

it is like Pembroke leans back and he just kind of laughs to himself and he's like we my friends and I have recently

lost a companion to the giants at Skirgard. And we must return there to complete what we have started, to defeat these giants. I know that your people have had longstanding grudges against these creatures, yes? Yes. against these creatures yes yes this is good news for us because we are a man short and we could use the help of someone with certain skills and then he's again speaking to you and Shawanti, it would be very dangerous. I do not ask you to follow me into the depths of the mountain, but just show me the way there. I fear for your life.

You have already lost a friend. And then he sort of, again, looks at you kind of meaning meaningfully and he says, I know how that feels. But those are not dead who live in the hearts they leave behind. Remember this. Yes. Yes, very good. Yes, it is. It is dangerous.

You have suffered loss. we have suffered much loss. But why? Do you know why you must go to this place? I cannot speak of why. Not here. If you would be willing to take me without further explanation, I would like to offer you, all of you, a gift. One for each time we resurrect. And he's sort of nodding and he's looking at the dwarf and he's like,

For him, yes, a gift. I know that it is dangerous what we seek. And I do not wish to trouble you. And he pulls from his belt pouch. This bag is sort of like a small bag that's hanging off of it. And he pulls out this sort of beautifully ornate. Headband of a lion. He pulls out this beautifully ornate. Headband of a Lauren Corolla. He pulls out this beautifully ornate box.

He says, if there are three of you that will go, I can offer you something of my past. He is offering us a gift for letting him come with us. And he turns to four bears and says, Please, it is not necessary, but what is it that you offer? Who will go to the mountain?

Myself, the small one, and Feyraza. I don't get a name anymore? Sorry, he fucked up the word for dwarf. And he sits down. The drunk one. Yeah. Also synonyms. We call him Slow Baron.

He sort of finds a spot. He needs sort of a large area to sit down on the floor, but he sits down on the floor and sets this box in front of him. And, you know, it's maybe, maybe two or three feet or no, maybe two feet long and about eight inches wide,

something like that. And he's creaks open this beautifully. As I said, like carved wooden box. And inside you see a jumbling of sticks. And he sort of like sorts through them. And he pulls one out. And it's a wand.

And he hands it to Baron. Whoa. And he says to Pembroke, Dini sha'am baya. Protection from evil. Ah. Ah. And he says,

and he's rooting again through, and he pulls out another one, and holds it out to, sort of very ceremonially, and again, and, cure like wounds. How many charges? Fifty.

Thank you. And then, and for you, for helping, invisibility. And he hands it over to you. Pembroke snatches it, runs out the door, and takes off and starts a match.

No way. Runs to the nearest casino. He holds it reverently and says, I thank you. This is a worthy gift. I have held these for many years, looking, waiting for the right time. And I think I have found it. It is time to bring Nahadil to the giants.

And he motions to his mace that's hanging off his belt. Do I know what Nahadil means? It means guardian of the people. Ah, cool. Yeah. And Pembroke says, I believe our paths converge.

And he makes a hand gesture putting his palms together. I believe the gods have set us together. You are here for a reason. You are here at a time of our greatest need. It is good that you are here, and it is good that we will travel together and fight together.

It is good. And he puts his hands together together sort of in a similar gesture and then he turns to baron and and like does it again and like nods like yes yes he taps you on the leg again and says hey look at me but listen to him all right tell him pambert look at him but listen to me we dwarves in the five king mountains have heard what you Shawanti did to them giants out on the Storval Plateau before, and let me tell you something, I like your work. If you're anything like what the Skrulls told me back in the mountains, I'm ready to slap the boards and swing some swords, baby.

Welcome aboard. I probably lose a little bit of the poetry in the mountains. I'm ready to slap the boards and swing some swords, baby. Welcome aboard. I probably lose a little bit of the poetry in the translation, but I got the point across. He says, slap the boards in Chianti to Pembroke and then like smashes his wooden shield with his hand. Yes.

Good girl claps. Excellent. Excellent. Yes. Which way do we go? We will go through the air, through the ether. Ether. Ether. I will use magic to take us.

Yes. Yes. And he smiles like really big at the mention of magic. Yeah. Cool. At a certain point before you leave, I believe Shia will pull Baron aside and just be like,

it seems strange that this man would come seeking a spirit walker, and yet none of you walk with the spirits. Be careful. I know you are a man short, but... This... This seems too fated. Well, Cheyenne, I do think it seems a little too perfect. But I'll tell you another thing.

Before I started this journey, I didn't believe in fate. I thought I was able to carve my own way through this world. But time and time again, fate has made me turn a path towards a way I never thought I'd go before. And if there's one thing I know, it's that we're bound to see another seer along our lines.

We've been seeing them all along our journey. And if this man can help take us part of the way there, half the way there, if he dies, if I die, I think we're all going towards the same place. I'm ready to accept the responsibility of what this man does with us in a way perhaps I never understood or never accepted with other people I've taken under my charge

I only got to speak to my father very briefly when he evidently passed for a short period of time but in that time he mentioned you evidently passed for a short period of time. But in that time he mentioned you and called you friend. He said you were very important. I see now why. Good luck to you, Baron.

I hope when we speak again, it won't be in some spirit vision, but in the flesh. Just remember, Shael, as long as you walk this earth, part of the Lork Iron Tusk does too. Take care of yourself. I kiss.

How he always breaks tension when I get serious. Wait, so when things get serious, you enjoy make out? Yeah, every time. That explains why you guys are always stealing away. Dark corners. You claim to be having these character discussions. Dark corners. He claimed to be having these character discussions. He goes to kiss the sound

and skid is right on top of the cue. His home screen is actually not like Safari and like Photografer and the New York Times. It's just Michael. Careless Whisper and the nerd. All right. and the New York Times. It's just George Michael. Careless Whisper and the nerd. Nerd! All right, so you have now a four-person party.

In fact, the first four-person party you've had for a long time, because you've always had at least an animal companion. And before that, you had Umlo and Ingrahill. Like, this is four people. Pembroke, Feyraza, Baron, and four bears. The life bubble situation will be much easier now. That's true. But four is a sacred number.

Four is a very important number. He said that to you immediately. He said that, yeah. The four part is very important. he said that to you immediately yeah the four part is very important he's gonna murder us all um yeah speaking of which i don't know is there uh i don't want to jump ahead but i just want to be i want to say something before we teleport out of here so is there like more stuff that you guys are going to do here before we leave? We wanted to do like some shopping and stuff. Oh, okay.

I think we hand waved that for that like that when we were resting. We just did like a couple scrolls and everything. Oh, yeah. We wanted to get that one scroll. Detect scrying. Detect scrying and mending. I actually fixed it up with my gunsmithing. But if you want to get.

It's probably still good to have. It'll be faster that way. It'll take me like an hour worth of work at the end of the day. The other thing that we should talk about before we leave is whether or not we can get any more information on Sir Will's situation. We should send word to Highbury.

And I want to know if we should partially take the slow way up to the mountain to see if we can come across the slaves making their way down in Min Min. Nim Nim. Nim Nim. Nim Nim, sorry. Nim Nim. Yeah, that would be...

I don't think we have that kind of time. I don't think we have time. All right. Yeah, they could be anywhere, and there's a party coming up from Skelp to meet them, but that may waylay you. party coming up from scalp to meet them uh but that may waylay you i think like immediately like our first opportunity we could like retcon this as soon as we had the chance we would go to the authorities and whoever would carry a message like that get message to highbury highbury um because we really we have so we have almost nothing to go on right you know just speaking from a character's perspective we would be sorely tempted to go try to find him and rescue him but

we have nothing to go and you send this to the earl of highbury yeah the other thing we want we want to send it to though is if we ever heard of either highbury's ally or a friend a family friend of sir wills that isn't a part of Highbury, I'm still worried that he's stuck in Highbury itself. Yeah. So I want to send a word to an ally, two messages. Do we know what order of knights Sir Will belonged to? We would.

Because we could also alert them. Yeah. That's a good idea. Yeah. That might be the best ally to let know. Well, we could certainly... He was a Knight of Ozem. And he was in...

Oh, he was a Knight of Ozem? You could alert Kaurian Blix. He was in Order of the Shield. He was in the Order of the Shield. Okay, so we get word to her as well. Attention, Kaurian Blix. Exactly. As well as the Earl of Highbury.

CC. CC, Earl of Highbury. CC. BCC. Dark Winds. Dark Winds. And I and i think too it's like silverman i think i think it's important too because we you know we have we've had recent reason to suspect anything like this being being weird um to to be to be suspect of anything any certain strange like circumstance like this like this guy but pembroke knows this and but even still he feels like this is on the level so i just want to lay that out there for everyone who's

going to write in and complain now pemembroke feels strongly about this. He looked in his eyes, the Larry David thing, and he's just like, yeah, okay. I trust him. I think Ferrazzo would want to make sure that he was aware of the extent of the danger he was getting himself into as well. I almost felt from hearing him talk that he knows it better than you guys do. Yeah. Like, he knows that he's not likely to survive. And we kind of know that, too.

And Pembroke certainly does. Pembroke doesn't expect to survive this at all. Yeah. What I was trying to get across to Pembroke and what, you know, you can translate to them as you want, but that he felt like you were all probably going to die. Yeah. You know? And that's why he was very hesitant to

ask you for such a huge favor yeah and you're all gonna die yeah yeah and pep rick is just like no we we know like oh we get it we're going there anyway we know we're probably gonna die but we have to do this not only are we gonna die but we're gonna become we're coming back as undead yeah yeah even worse and i do think it is like it seems a little crazy and fast and too perfect but like you know baron knows about the history of the shawanti and giants throughout history in galerian uh and knows that if there's any better type of person to bring along with them potentially going against giants it's this yeah ancient enemies and pembroke them to be ancient enemies pembroke has clearly spent time like Like, he's fascinated with the Shawanti.

Like, he's learned the language. Like, he's done all this stuff. Like, he feels comforted to have a Shawanti here. Like, it is, like, just perfect to have someone, you know... Yeah. And there's no time. There's no time. There's no time to turn.

We can't go recruit. We can't put out a Craigslist ad for recent Skier card adventurers. Party of three seeks a fourth. That'll get all the wrong emails, Troy. We don't want those emails. Your options were Roy the Hat Maker or Marin. Or Robert Loja. Robert Loja.

Matthew is comforted by the fact that this is a game, and he wants to keep playing with Joe. Exactly. Try to just cut right through that right to the core to the point so at a certain point you know you say your goodbyes and whatnot and then it's just boom no where are you going back so this is what i wanted to say is also uh during this time he is going to uh for bears is going to ask all of you to come together and he'll explain to Pembroke. And he's going to perform a very small, very short little ceremony that is because there is this group of four and the importance and strength that it gives us as we head out on this dangerous, dangerous mission. Numerology.

Love it. And then he's going to ask you, and he won't step through any sort of, like, step into any sort of teleport situation before you explain to him the situation. Yeah. Like, detail by detail of their strengths their weaponry there you know what i mean and you get the sense that he has some sort of background in like tactical combat yeah um we'll show us he's asking the right questions we'll show you ours if you show us yours what are you up to don't translate that in imperfectly so yeah basically he does you know he's not going to go

through this teleport thing and be shocked he's in the cathedral of undeath right he's gonna no no i pembroke shares like as much tactically like as details like blow by blow of what we've skier guard and yeah great we show him the christmas card map

yeah flavor drakes and all and then like what is the plan and yeah. Great. We show them the Christmas card map. Yeah. It's beautiful. Flavor drinks and all. And then like what is the plan? Like are you going back to the temple? I want to be bold and go right back

into the temple. The room we left I think. Yeah. Or maybe the room we entered. We can listen at the door. Go right inside.

Right inside. Not even like outside. Yeah. Boom. It's the door. Go right inside. Right inside. Not even like outside. Yeah. Boom. It's the last thing they'll expect. For good reason. All right.

So that is everyone on board with that plan? Holy crap. Grant's like, we didn't discuss this. Time is of the essence. We talked about it last night. You were drunk this time is of the essence we talked about it last night you were drunk it is it is of the essence but like i feel like skid after he haphazardly set the grain silo on fire in the camp got like a taste for like thrills that can only be sated by his near death like he's a guy that went skydiving once and wants to play russian roulette all the

time because it's the only way he gets a thrill anymore i'm like graham chapman yeah he had the same thing he started doing death sports right before he died i'm that's exactly what i want to do uh that's the only way i feel alive i was just watching an interview with steven tyler and he was talking about how um because he's sober one of the things that does it for him now is to go to disney world and ride the Aerosmith Rockin' Roller Coaster. What a jerk. What a narcissistic asshole. I know, right? What a jerk. All right, so you, everyone's on board with going to the room where you fought the giant and Orphos?

Hell yeah, man. Okay. Everyone join hands. Brielle and Cheyenne are standing there just watching. You know, if you look, you see in Shael, you see Lork. You see, you know, they're going to take care of Lork's body. And in Shael, you see him still alive in some way.

So it's got to be sad in a way. Maybe, I'm sure you'll be back here, but maybe not all of you will be back. So this might be it. We'll see you in this world, or the next. And with that, roll the D100. You never forget the D100 roll.

I forget it every time. That's all I got. 82. It was almost 86, dude. Oh, man. Oh, my God. What's the worst possible result? Death.

Yeah. I've already thought about it. You just end up right in Skirkotla's bedchamber. And she's wide awake. So, you wink into that room. The doors to the north leading to the room you came into are still open. The doors to the

south where Orphos emerged, where Lork died, are still open as well. To the north there's no light shining in. I would say one of you can see from where you're standing that the stone-shaped wall has been closed up.

The body of the giant with the scythe is nowhere in sight. That's because it was a rat and I broke its neck. That's right. Glad you paid attention. You guessed right on that one, Trev. On the table where that giant was feasting in the room that you're in is a patchwork body made up of all sorts of limbs. Oh no.

Still as yet unfinished. You see like a leg of maybe a stallion. Another leg of some kind of a giant. Probably not a frost giant. The lower torso of some abomination, maybe an ogre, but like boils on it. You can smell the rotting corpse,

two different arms, and the head of Orphos Norkin. Oh no. Oh my god. We'll see you next week. Oh god. That's so creepy. I made the wrong call.

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