The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 165 - Mummy Issues

Episode Date: July 24, 2018

The party continues their battle against the depraved daughter of Urgathoa and her temple servitors. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. This is going to get real dark, real fast, and I love it. The fight against the twisted undead continues. It is the mummy's turn. This oft misunderstood mummy. Misunderstood how? And as tensions rise. All right, you ready for this?

No. And tempers flare. I'm not your monkey, Grant. You know what, Matthew? I'm sick of your shit. Troy weighs his options. I know, I'm torn between wanting to have a good show and wanting to hurt you all emotionally.

Chooses his target. You're going down great, and it's going to be ugly. And unleashes. That's Natural 20! Hell. No! The adventure continues. Yeah!

Oh, no! Yes! Now. hello everyone it's matthew welcome to another week in the imagination sphere. I want to keep this brief as we've got an exciting episode coming up, but I just want to extend a thanks to everyone who came out to see my play at the Capital Fringe. I got to chat with some of you, but to those I didn't, and to those I did, thank you. Thank you. I feel very lucky that you would all be so generous and come out and support the show. That's really great of you. Also, I wanted to give a shout out to everyone who competed in the Faraza artwork contest. And congratulations to our winner, Felicia North. Thank you to everyone who submitted. It's so great to see Faraza come to life on the page. I feel like we've really gotten to only see her in bird form before now.

So it's about time we saw her and all of her bespectacled glory also i don't know about you all but i'm having some fun finally learning more about faraza and her past and what she might contribute to the future of the story ellipsis ellipsis mysterious mysterious okay enough out of me please enjoy episode 165, Mummy Issues. I don't know about you guys, but I love dark shit. And this is getting dark. This is really, really dark because it goes beyond undead, undeath. Yeah.

Well beyond that. and i didn't realize that there's another level of evil man yeah the level of evil you know when you my mom was very strict about what i was allowed to watch we were talking about our rated movies uh last week uh we never talked about our first x-rated movies i could do that that was that was your mom she was into dark shit that's why Troy likes dark shit so much she's like honey let me show you a movie I starred in before you were born it's really it's called

Last Tango in Paris and the line I he gets to say to me is get the butter get the butter now you're lucky I was sneezing during all of that I couldn't fight back. Lucky.

He was stunned for two rounds. My mom was very strict about what I was allowed to watch, and so I wasn't allowed to watch R-rated movies. And I asked her later on in life, like, what was it about those movies? And she said to me, she's like, I don't care about the violence, and I don't care about the sex. It's when they're mixed. I didn't want about the violence and I don't care about the sex. It's when they're mixed. I didn't want you seeing that.

Yeah. You know, and there's a lot of that in those Friday the 13th Nightmare on Elm Street movies. That's why I've never seen any of them. I never watched them when I was a kid. I never wanted to go back and watch them. That's a great excuse for you just being a little scaredy cat. I don't want to get afraid, Matthew. I don't want to have nightmares.

My mom made a compelling argument about society. It's a great excuse for I'm just too afraid to watch them. I just don't like that stuff, Matthew. And I am surprised that you would be championing it. Championing it. Championing it. That's really tough to say. It is hard.

Championing it. Championing it. Well, it's well known how into sex and violence matthew is he's a real this is well known among us real student he's always championing it he actually sounds like the lead singer of marcy playground sex and candy i would love to hear him do a cover i love sex he actually does kind of sound i was about to do it i don't but i don't know any lyrics beyond that let's just say i i love sex and candy. No, the moment's gone now. Not your monkey, Grant.

You know what, Matthew? I'm sick of your shit. You know what? This has been boiling up. Grant, your phone's ringing, so you didn't turn it off. Why don't you answer that? Hold on. Let's do it on the show. This is going to be fun. Hold on. Hi, Mom. How are you? I'm doing

really well. What's going on? What are you? I'm doing really well. I'm actually recording a podcast that's being listened to lots of people right now. But I thought I'd put you on the mic. It might get cut out of the episode. I'm really not sure at this point. But you're the first parent that's ever been on the Glass Cannon podcast. I am your mother on the podcast. Do you want to say anything

to all the people listening? She hung up. Hold on, she's back. Mom? Yes, I do want to say to all the people on the podcast. What is your role on the podcast? My role on the podcast is I play

a big loser that you're disappointed in. But I also play something that I've always noticed from afar. What's that? Tell her about your backstory. I may or may not have murdered my parents on this show. Oh, my God. Okay, let me talk about the podcast.

Okay, what are you going to say? Okay, I'm going to say Grant has always been my pride and joy. He is not a big loser. That is simply not true. Cut the mic, cut the mic, cut the mic. I'm hoping that he has no intention of murdering his parents. Mom, I really thank you for those kind words. And I just want to tell you, in front of everyone who thinks I'm a big loser, that I love you very much.

I love you, Grant. I all right i think you're a brilliant talented writer and um i hope to see you soon honey love you baby i love you too mom talk to you to you soon. Okay, bye. You have her fooled. Wow. Well, that was really nice. That was unexpected. Yeah. I'm sure. This show really has it all. This has it all.

Grant, no wonder you're so well-adjusted. She's a very good mother. She's a great mother. Rock away, New York. You're on the line. Mrs. Berger, you're our 12th caller. Turn your radio down, ma'am. Turn your radio down.

You win the Bestiary 4 box. Well, I don't know what that is. I think my son would be in the Bestiary 1 box, frankly, because he's the best. He's number one in my heart. Well, we mix sex and violence here and when it comes to ergo this is when it gets dark yeah you know you saw a little bit of it in the cannibalistic i mean obviously it's a giant eating a human i guess that's technically not uh cannibalistic but it's not good though it's gross like if you see a raccoon eating a rat right it's like no one wants to see that it's not really cannibalism but it's still gross. That's not good, though. It's gross. It's not right. It's like if you see a raccoon eating a rat. Right.

No one wants to see that. It's not really cannibalism, but it's still pretty fucked up. It's just unsavory. Yeah, it's unsavory. That's the word I was looking for. No one wants to see that. I mean, you've heard since you came into the camp about slaves being eaten. You've seen them being murdered.

You've seen them being torn apart, thrown into the flames. We've watched you murder a whole bunch of them. It wasn't me. It was the cold riders, Matthew. Jury's still out. Jury's still out on that one. But to see this guy

just eating it and then to come in here. No, no, no. It wasn't just eating. Like, oh, man, I'm really hungry. It was the, like, grapes

off the vine. That's not Syrinscape, folks. That's Matthew Capitacazza and Joe O'Brien. I didn't make any of those sounds. Oh, you didn't? No. It looked like you were. I wish I could have.

It sounded like a Capitacazza joint. You come in here, and she's talking about doing stuff to you after death, celebrating the sexual nature of the small folk because you never had it hard. You were able to hone your bodies for carnal pleasures. And what she wants to do with you after... I mean, this is going to get real dark, real fast, and I love it.

Unless we kill her. Unless you kill her. But Matthew, who will she take with you to the grave? Who will she take with you? I mean, if i had her you want me to tell you my guess yes i'll write it down um i mean you're playing here so i know baron is your first priority always my first Matthew you've made the list you are dead to me oh fe, Feyraza, more like Fey-asshole.

Take that. Take that. I'm stunned. Cut the mic. Taking the rivalry to a whole other level. Well, here we are. We ended last week on a will save. A sir will save, if you will.

Spoiler alert. Y'all passed. All right. But there is still damage to be done oh no joe you said it did you say it on air did you just say it to me after we stopped recording you were like i know that spell that's unholy blight i said it to you after i think yeah sure was now without you know why and in uh to credit you it was the way that you described it. Right. I have always pictured it as this just evil ooze of awfulness just spreading out in a radius around the creature.

And you feel it. You feel it in your body. You feel it in your mind. Take a man like Pembroke. You think Pembroke's ever done anything like truly dark and evil? I'm sure he's had his moments. But to have his body and his mind succumb to that feeling as if you would yourself had committed those crimes you know what it makes me think of is uh temple of doom when they they make them drink the blood of khali yes and it's just like

it is like a night man but awake all the time you know like that's that's what it is and i always think of it as it would be a great thing to have mechanically to have a will save and a fortitude save at the same time. Because it just feels like it isn't only your body. It's also physically pure evil. Yeah. Almost in a biological sense. That's how I imagine unholy blight. Yeah.

Well, you all saved. But I didn't know this until I asked you guys that three out of the four of you are good aligned. Baron, still just chilling at neutral. Baron, you're going to take a quarter damage from this, and the rest of you will take half of 5d8. Whoa. Which is still no joke. Still no joke. And I love, personally, effects that hurt everyone.

So let's roll this damage. I had them all sitting on eights as I was getting ready. Let's see if they stay on eights. I see one eight. Oh, that's good. I also see a one. So everything evens out. It's going to be nine points of damage to Pembroke, Feyraza, and four bears.

And then we'll say four points of damage to Baron. Not terrible. No, no, not terrible. Could have been much worse. You're spreading it all around. I'm spreading out the juice. She flew through these flames to do this. I even said, like, oh, didn't hurt her as much as you think it would.

But it definitely did still hurt her. Okay. But she threw caution to the wind, flew through these flames. She is now up towards the ceiling, far away from you guys. And it is Feyraz's turn. Also, remember that we're all airwalked. You can all walk through this. You all can all walk through the air.

Walk through the air. Airwalked and hasted. And hasted, right. Airwalked, hasted, and a certain portion around Baron has been consecrated. A 20-foot radius around Baron? That is correct, Troy. Right. Now, if you move, it still stays on you or it stays where it was?

It is centered on a location. It is not centered on me. It's consecrating an area, not a person. Okay. Feyraza, you might still be in that. I'm not sure how high you flew up. I only walked, so I believe I am still in it. Okay.

Well, but it's only the ground, right? I'll allow it. Okay. Faraza is going to cast Dispel Magic. Oh, snap. And now we've got to read the rules. It's one of those spells

that I just never remember. I think we've cast Dispel Magic not only on the show, but off the show. Oh, many times. Dozens and dozens of times and we still have to read it every time it's i'm going to do target dispel it's basically a caster level check but it's it's complicated when you don't know what it's first of all it's all you roll is a d20 plus

your caster level yeah but what it applies to for you is for me it's 11 plus the spells caster level but then if it fails the highest level spell, it goes down to the next level, next highest level. Right. So basically, I should figure out what the highest DC is. Yep. And if you hit that, you're going to dispel one of the highest spells. Exactly. If you miss that, then I'll go down by one for those.

I have a question. If the character casts the spells on themselves, isn't the caster level of every spell the same? Yeah, right. Wouldn't the spells caster level? Yes, except that if they're multiclass. Oh, fair enough.

Fair enough. Right. So, if she is not multiclassed, it's just going to be her caster level. Yeah. Yeah, but the... Oh, yeah, it's caster level.

If she only casts it on herself, because, look, there's plenty of times when spells are cast from other people on you or through wands, you know what I mean? Even enemies.

Even enemies will have, like, they use their wand of shield to start the combat. That means it's the base caster level. Yeah, what confuses me is the spells caster level makes me think that, like, you have to be a cleric or a wizard or an arcanist of this level in order to cast this spell. So is it the minimum level or is it just the caster level? Unless it's specifically... Because sometimes they will say this was cast from her

wand or from whatever. Fifth level character casting a third level spell. Ninth level character casting the same spell. It is a more powerful and more potent spell. You know what? Roll the check and I'll let you know what happens. That's a 14.

14. Well, even though we're not 1,000% sure on that spell, that will dispel nothing on this spell. No, of course not. No, of course it won't. Of course not. She is badass. Also, I was going to have to roll at least a 10. Yeah.

At least to even have a conversation with me at this table. Let me ask you this because you couldn't even get a meeting about the spell magic. That emailed this one unanswered. Do you have an appointment to cast a spell magic? Maybe come back another day. Let me ask you this. Do you want to move? Yes.

Thank you. I like to ask. I'm going to turn around and walk 45 degrees up into the air back the way I came. So I'll be like over four bears, basically. So you're going to be standing over four bears. Very good. Speaking of four bears, it's Baron's turn. No, I'm kidding. Joe, you're up. Four barons. Four bears. Are you enjoying playing this guy? It's only been a little bit. You only had a few rounds of combat here. Are you still feeling him out?

Flamewall was really nice. Yeah, Firewall was very cool. Hey, I love casting. I haven't really cast much. We were talking about it after the episode, how cool that must have looked. Like her giving that speech and then Forbearance stepping forward and like waving his hand in this wall of fire, like blowing up in front of her. Like how cool. Yes.

And I just love that like as a Shawanti, it is such a natural elemental force of power that is just kind of cut off. I love that aspect of it, too. I really love in general. I don't want to get off topic, but the uh theme of different casters spell lists druids versus wizards versus clerics like it really makes sense what is in those lists so it was really fun um all right so uh what am i gonna do right now i think you're gonna do brother i think what i'm gonna do for bears is going to uh he's going to looking at this horrible situation and terrifying creature, he's going to try to steal himself and really try to make a show of,

as a, trying to just show how brave he can be, put himself in the most dangerous position in order to help his allies, which is what he knows how to do. And seeing as he's floating off the ground basically already and can air walk, he is going to air walk straight up to within 10 feet of her as she's flying over the air. Oh! And he's going to get right within 10 feet of her

and then do total defense and put up this. So you see this wooden shield comes up in front of him and it has a, down the bottom of the shield is a stylized tree. And then all above the tree, going up for three and a half, four feet into the shield, are various constellations and stars above this tree. Right. And he holds the shield out. Tree of Gondor! Exactly.

It looks a lot like that, because it's not like an actual sculpting of this tree. It's sort of a stylized tree. It's like our shower curtain. Yes, it's like our shower curtain. And he holds it out in front of him and will do total defense, trying to draw her arm scythe, her scythe arm, and seeing if he can distract her around and take that attack. So you fly up within 10 feet of her,

basically saying, hit me. Yeah, yeah. He's also, as part of that action, as part of that move, going to draw back out his battle axe. Oh man, that is bold. Now listen, I have a little backstage information. I know your character has a really good AC.

And with total offense, I can't even imagine what it is. But you did Challenger, basically. Yeah. Basically putting yourself up there. Did you bring a backup character? You know what? Answer me later. It is the other mummified giant's turn.

And I've been waiting for this. I've been waiting for this for a full week of what I want to do. This giant is going to move up within 20 feet or so of Baron and fire its entangling wrappings at you. Because I am tired of that gun.

I am tired of that character. And frankly, I'm tired of you, Grant. So this is going to be a CMD. His mother was just on the show. Yeah, what is this? His mom is just here. She ain't here now to save you. Where is Mrs. Berg going to save little grantee boy when the mean bully's beating him up at school?

I was the bully, Troy. I was enormous. I was that bully. I am the bully now. I'm the captain. All right. We're going to talk about a CMD of 33. My CMD against giants is 34.

With the haste and everything else that's going on in my character right now, it is plus four against giants for my combat training. It is a 30 on the sheet. And don't forget, you probably have less than 33 because you're in that consecrate range. You're cut off from your god. Within 20 feet. Yes, that affects. What does that affect again?

It's a minus. It cuts you off from your god. Remember? It is not the minus one against the roll. Sure, sure, sure. Whatever. The entangling wrappings just flutter past you. 34?

And miss. See a 30 right there? What an amazing character. That is awesome. See a 30 right there? What an amazing character. That is awesome. See a 30 right there? You see the defensive training? Plus four against Giants? Unbelievable.

I see him just batting the ribbons away with his gun. Yeah. What was that, a mosquito? I was so excited to do that and take you out of this combat. And now you've ruined this combat for me. All right. Well, that is... You want to just surrender? I might just call it. No. At least I still have cop after me. All right. Well, that is. You want to surrender?

I might just call it. No. At least I still have her. Okay. All right. All right, Grant. All right, Grant. Let's go to Pembroke.

Pembroke is going to move off to the side. He wants to get a clear shot on the mummy. And he's going to move up like 10 feet. So like up into the side like 10 feet. And with the wind walk. And he's going to say, power of the storm come to me!

Death be upon you! And cast with the quickened metamagic rod lightning bolt. On the mummy! That is a DC 19 reflex save. DC 19 reflex save. DC 19 reflex save. Spoiler alert.

They're not that reflexive. Fail. Yeah. That is 39 points of electricity. Oh, shit. He begins casting Summon Monster 5. Whoa. Those rods.

The common ends. Ben here done that. Begins casting Summon Monster 5. Whoa. Those rods. The common ends. Ben here done that. Begins casting Summon Monster 5. One thing we keep forgetting, Pims, and I always forget this as well, is if you're injured at all before the end of that, we've got to roll a concentration check. Yeah, we never do that. But don't worry. I'll be along then. Or will I?

Or will I? I've lost track of rounds, as I often do when we cut an episode in the middle of it. But let's just call it New Round. Baron's turn. Baron, you just fended off a wild rapping. You have four bears. It's flown off. Feyraza is flown off.

You're just wide open here, 5, 10, 15, 20 feet away from this mummy. And to your left and up, a little farther away, probably 40 or so if you invoke Pythagoras, is this awful woman. And then way off to the right, Pembroke has gone out. You just see Pembroke like doing some somatic verbal baloney. And if you'll remember my shots against the other mummy giant, one of those shots was a misfire. I do. So Baron is going to spend a move action and spend a grit point to quick-hear his gun.

Yeah, there you go. Joe approves of that. He's going to look at the mummy that just shot at him, whose wraps he knocked off his body. Yes. He's going to eye him unevily. And then he's going to look up at this knocked off his body. Yes. He's going to eye him. Stop time. And then he's going to look up at this evil undead creature. Yes. And he's going to say,

You put me into a place of consternation I haven't been in a while. I cannot abide by an undead like you living on this mortal plane. Prepare to die. And then he casts long shot on his weapon. Yeah. Extra ten feet. And then he casts Longshot on his weapon. Extra 10 feet.

He's going to also do a quick knowledge check to make sure she's undead if we haven't already established that. Oh, so you're doing it to her, not the mummy? Yep. Okay. Well, I'm not... Alright, so do Knowledge Relidge. The 19 on the die. Of course it is. For

a 24 total. For a 24 total. Only a high school bully would roll that high. Precisely. I was a middle school bully. In high school I was cool. 24, you want to know if she's undead? I'm going to tell you two things. Baron, she's

undead. She is undead. But as you were talking, I realized I forgot something about my mummy. So I need all four of you to roll a will save. Oh, what? Uh-oh. Oh, shit. Before I let you just fire

away. What do you got there, Pems? 18 on the die. That's a 30. You're going to be just fine. Matthew Capitacazza for Freyraza. 18 total.'s a 30. You're going to be just fine. Matthew Capitacazza for Freyraza. 18 total. I'm so sorry. That's not going to be good.

18 total for the Bears. 24 for Freyraza. How many of the Bears are going to be subject to the effect? Freyraza and at least 3 out of the 4 Bears. Which Bear do you hate? He has constant mirror image. Badass character. All you had to do was name him right. He has constant mirror image. Badass character. All you had to do was name him well.

Yeah, I never thought of that. I totally forgot because Baron's so quickly dispatched of the other mummy, and it's been a week, that if you get within 30 feet of this creature, it, as a free action, invokes its frightful presence. Is this affected by the consecrated oil in some way? He's cut off from his god. It is just a natural power that it has.

It's only one round, but four bears and Feyraza are shaken. Not stirred. You know what, Troy? Normally you interrupt Matthew before he's able to end his turns, but I didn't end my turn. I used a move action.

Yes. I used a standard action. Yes. I believe I still can use a swift action. You do. That's why I wanted to stop you before you did. Sorry. It's actually a 20 for both of us because of the protection from evil that Baron cast at the beginning.

Unless I didn't count it in. No, I didn't count it in. Unless you counted it in. It saves from evil creatures. Yeah. You get a plus two. Saves against evil creatures? On those creatures.

Well, you sons of bitches are all right. Guess I'm the one who's shaking. Yeah. That was me all along. Wow. They're not summoned evil creatures, correct? Don't worry about it, Grant. I can't give you that information off the cuff.

They just can't touch us at all because of protection from evil. Right, right, right. Understandable. They can touch you. That's all. Okay. They'll touch us. They'll touch you.

And they will. All right. Use your swift, you dummy. Don't know why you have to be so mean. That's really frustrating right now. I don't know why you have to be so mean That's really frustrating right now I don't blame him As a swift action I will first

End the combat No I will first You know Do some inner healing To feel better about myself After that insult And then secondly We'll enact

Bane against Undead On top of Della Yeah Gross Yeah Gross Giant Slayer Giant Bane And undead Bane.

I love it. I love a holy man with a gun. And you know what he's using? You know what he's gripping? He's gripping Urathosh's Bane Baldrick, which makes his Bane act even at a higher level than he is. Oh. What a mind's going to give it back to you just good enough.

Wow. Wow. I am excited for what happens next. Well, this is a real pickle. Take heart, Troy. We thought we had the last combat handled, and you killed the character that was there from episode one. Troy, how would you feel about conceding?

What do you think? No, no, no. I'm not there yet. I just want to really lay out some pain. No, no, no. I'm not there yet. I just want to really lay out some pain. Now, with you standing right there 10 feet away,

I'm trying to decide what I want to do because it's her turn. I did it as my first attack, and I think I'm going to go ahead and do it again and just channel negative energy throughout the room. How far away is Pembroke? channel negative energy throughout the room. How far away is Pembroke? 10, 15, 20, 25, 30 feet away. Perfect. With Pythagoras.

But she's up in the air. They're at similar heights. Pembroke isn't up in the air, though. I am. Oh, you are. Pembroke. He went up to get a straight shot. Let me put a D6 under Pembroke.

Yes, thank you. I'm going to need everybody to roll a will save. And we get plus two. Do you get plus against channels? Yeah. She is evil, isn't she? Or is it only spells? No, it's saves. Saves against evil creatures plus two.

And is that a poison spell or spell like ability? Stop it. Put your mother back on the phone. I want to speak to your mother. Why does he ask so many questions? I have a phone to pick. Did you always lie to him about what saves parole when he was a kid? How does this happen?

Why is he so suspicious? Grant, let's start with Baron. 24. I hate you. Four bears? Natural 20. Four bears! Four you. Four bears? Natural 20. Four bears! Four bears!

Four of them! Four! Natural 20. Feifei? 32. Oh, come on! Pembroke? 13 on the die.

27. Oh my god! Yeah! Well, all right. No more things that involve will saves. All right, so you all take half damage. It is my strongest save. Yeah, we are a willful group. In real

life and in the game. You all take eight points of damage, so just chipping away. Chip, chip, chip-a-roo. Just boom, again, this negative energy. It's not quite the same feeling that you get with Unholy Blight, but you guys haven't been hit with negative channeled energy, unless I'm wrong.

Like, remember me... I don't know. I don't know if we have no i mean you met uh baron actually was the only one that met fabian blix in that chapel now i don't think he did any uh maybe he did do some channeling to heal you after you brought one him to your side and imagine what that felt like imagine what felt like when galabras channeled positive energy. So what does the opposite of that feel like? Like you must just feel heavier, the weight of evil. So even though you all steeled yourself against it, it still weakened all of you. She is going to go ahead and fly to the... right to the head of the fly.

So she's flying right over the head of the fly, So she's flying right over the head of the fly. Her back's to that flame wall, but she is on the good side of the flame wall. So she's all right, right? No, no, no. She will take... Well, I'm asking because I won't stay adjacent if I take damage.

Yeah, she'll take 2d4 points of damage. No, then I will stay, Jason. No, I'll move to the head of the fly and stay right next to the wall. Go ahead and roll your damage. He seems to not care about the 2d4. How about an 8? How about a 4 bears 8?

7. Cool. It's pretty good. Pretty good. She seems to have fire resistance 10. I don't want a metagame. That's not the way I play, Troy. Well, I appreciate it. She just has four bears resistance.

Four bears is like, there's no need to continue the combat. She's burning alive from the fire wall. Focus on the mummy. Farazza is going to cast Righteous Might on herself. Okay. Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. In a chuck.

Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. So you grew like the Grinch's heart three sizes that day? Three sizes that day. Not three sizes. I believe I double in size is the spell.

Oh, okay. And I get DR5. Well, no, you double in size, but you quadruple in mass. Is that true? Right you double in size, but you quadruple in mass. Is that true? Right. Can you, yeah, you quadruple in mass. No, your weight increases by a factor of eight.

Eight. That's what it is. Can you still air walk with all that girth? Yeah. Sure. I just want you to fall. Like a rock. Faraz just fell out of the sky.

And then Faraz will start walking down towards the mummy. Ah, walking down towards the mummy. Do you finish on the ground? Do you finish still five feet above and how many feet away? I think I actually finish on the other side of it because I'm hasted and I have to go to a 45-degree angle. Okay, so you were up. Remember, this room is 25 feet high, I said, so you're going to go, like, over its head and finish on the other side. Yep.

That's fair. Ten feet away. Like, directly behind. There we go. Now the other side. Yep. That's fair. Ten feet away. Like directly behind. There we go. Now we're cooking with this. There you go. Wow. You have surrounded him on three fronts.

Although Four Bears was focusing his attention on this evil undead woman. You are all essentially Pembroke, Four Bears, and Feyraza surrounding. You know, I said it, Skid, and we still forgot to do it, that concentration check for taking damage while summoning. So you took eight points of damage? Yep. Remind me the DC. I don't have my...

I think it's 10 plus the damage taken. I mean, that is... I have not looked that up in probably over a year. Because we never use this rule. We never do it. We never do it. We never do it. But I think it's 10 plus the damage taken. Here it is.

Injured while casting. 10 plus the damage dealt plus the spell level. Well, yeah, that makes sense. I love that. They add harder spells are harder to cast. So this is a fifth level spell? Yeah. 10, 18, 23.

23. Okay. I made it. Oh. Wow. Thank God. Poop on a stick. That's my lowest roll yet.

Troy seems frustrated. Just want to just ruin one of your days. Just one. If I could ruin one person's day each week, I feel like I've done my job. This would be a bad one to mess up, though, because it's going to be such a great camera. Yeah, I know. I know. I'm torn between wanting to have a good show and wanting to hurt you all emotionally.

I know. Why can't you have both? Por que no los dos? Por que no los dos? All right. Enough of Feyraz's turn. Four Bears, you're up. Four Bears.

All right. He is going to, I think he's going to try to bring the fight to this woman. So he is going to close, air walking in to her. As a swift action, he says some words in Shawanti, and you see that his battle axee begins to glow with power. Yeah. And he casts Bane on his battleaxe. Oh, yes. For undead Bane.

Gross. Battleaxe. Yeah. And he's going to move in and take an attack of opportunity from her. Thank you. I wanted to know if he would do that. Fighting defensively. Okay.

And he's going to fight defensively in an attempt to swing and hit her once with this. Alright, so I'm sorry, not battle axe, mace. This mace. Alright, do I want to swing this scepter at you or do I want to give you the claw? The claw. You're afraid of the claw. I'm a little afraid of the

claw. I'm giving you the claw. I'm giving you the claw. Okay. Bring it. Bring it. Oh, man. This is just gambling at its worst. Because I can probably hit you with the scepter.

But the claw just does nastier stuff if I can hit you. If you can get that natty twang downy. Double down. Split on it. You know what? Can I split the 11s? Split the 11s. No, I think if you play safe, you lose this combat.

Yeah. I think you've got to go to go for it, man. You've got to go risky. Listen, I know where I stand here. I want to see if this is going to work. So with her arm. How else can you kill a character in under four episodes? You have to

go for all of it. Her arm, you can see. That's the actual pawn. It just extends into this odd, misshapen blue, claw-like scythe. She swings out with that to try and hit you. Natural 20. No!

Looking at Joe. Looking at her right there, you. Natural 20. No! Look at it, Joe. Look at it right there, buddy. Natural 20! Oh, man. Come on. Look how happy he is. He's so sad. The eye of Agatha Kama

flows through me. I hate seeing him that happy. So frustrating. And a little W for your old buddy, Troy. Oh, my God. All right. I'm sweaty and excited. Is it still hitting?

So that total, actually, it may not. I think it still hits, but it may not be a crit. It is going to be a 32 total. That is a miss. Okay. So it is a hit. It is a hit, but it's not a crit. Oh, thank God. Okay. Right? Yeah. So it's just a

crit. Right. Natural 20 is always an... And you get an exploding die. I'm confused. Wait, wait, wait. Did you roll again to confirm? Oh, it won't matter. Even on a natural 20, you won't confirm. Right. I think... Actually, I think a natural 20 would confirm. So roll it again and see if you get a natural 20. Yeah. Yeah. If the natural 20

doesn't hit, it's still a crit. Or a crit threat. Okay. Even if the natural 20 Yeah. Yeah. If the natural 20 doesn't hit, it's still a crit. Or a crit threat. Okay. Even if the natural 20 doesn't hit. But the natural 20 is a hit, but because it didn't hit your AC, it is not a crit. Exactly. I believe that's the... Well, but that exploding dice.

No, no, no. You still get to roll. If you roll another natural 20, it is a crit. I rolled, and I didn't... Yeah, so it's just a regular hit. Just a regular hit. Oof. That was a times four crit.

No. Oh, man. I figured. Oh, no. This guy's got this huge shield, dude. But hold on. As your natural 20 comes around, it looks like it's going to be a crit. There's this almost ghostly presence.

He's got a shield in front of him, but then this other shield, almost ethereal, seems to block the blade. I like that. You don't know how that happens. What was that? It still strikes true through that shield. Yeah, exactly. It prevents hitting a vital organ. Right.

So actually, I mean, it's the same effect, but if you get a natural 20, you hit regardless of your target's armor class. Yeah, absolutely. So he gets exploding dice. Absolutely exploding dice, yeah. That would have been beautiful. Okay. Okay. Here we go.

We go. No exploding dice. Let's talk about the damage first. It's going to be 15 points of damage. Nothing. Oh, no. Nothing, right? Oh, no.

Fortitude save. It's going to be easier to roll fortitude. God damn, son of a bee sting. No, no, no. Nothing, right? Oh, no. Fortitude saves. It's going to be easier to roll a fortitude. God damn son of a bee sting. No, no, no. Oh, please. Please, Matt. What's your modifier? Tell the fans.

Well, it's generated by an evil creature, so right now it's plus 15. Wow. That is good. That's really good. Pretty good. Natty, 16. That's a 31. What do you got, LaValley?

What do you got? You're all right. Actually, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That was Will's save. I's a 31. What do you got, LaValley? What do you got? You're alright. Actually, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That was Will's save. I got that wrong. It's 11 plus 2. 13, not 15. Still, it's a 29. You're alright. Man, that could have been

a confirmed times 4 crit with some crazy disease. Instead, it's 15 points of damage. Unfortunately, it wasn't. And now, Four Bears is going to make his first strike as this magical mace that is now undead Bane comes swinging around. Swing the sword to slap the boards, baby. Natural two. Come on.

Matthew just called it. Matthew called it. He pointed at me, and he mouthed natural one as soon as he was like first strike I was like it's gonna go badly he called it, he looked right at me and called it, that was amazing that was like a reverse Babe Ruth

Wrigley Field 1931 absolute miss wow and you only get one attack. That's true. Because you moved. That's true.

And now you are up in her evil. That is true. Evil business. It is the mummy's turn. This off, misunderstood mummy. Misunderstood how? What are we not getting about this mummy? Will we find his poetry after this combat?

I'll tell you his backstory on Cannon Fodder, but it's incredibly sad. Oh, no. This episode should be called Mummy Issues. That's pretty good. That is really good. There were two mummies on this episode. Three. That first mummy the Baron killed was its son.

This is the mother. Oh, no. This is its son. This is the mother. Oh, no. This is the mummy. This is the mummy. All right. I hate going back to the well so many times, but I really want to entrap Baron in these entangling wrappings. Did you roll low the first time? I did roll low.

Okay. I mean, its CMV is pretty sweet, but Baron is built to fight against giants. Baron has yet to die. He is built to fight these creatures. He's the only character who has yet to die. Four Bears hasn't died yet, as far as we know. That's true. That's true.

Fembrook's okay. I have better than a 50. We're doing a minimum 10 episodes. Joe's a moron, is what we got out of that. Joe is the stupidest person that's ever lived on this planet. I mean... A character that's been alive for like one episode is like Baron Zillow. I can throw something at Pembroke, entangle him in a heartbeat, he falls to the ground.

That's kind of fun. And would lose the spell, probably. That's kind of fun. I could do something to Feyraza, because I know Feyraza is right up in my business there and is going to come up with some cool spell that I've never heard of from the druid spell list that's going to hurt me. But there isn't a single character on this board that can do more damage to me than Baron. And I have to think, you know, even though this mummy has no constitution.

Is he intelligent? He is intelligent. All right. And has pretty decent wisdom. That lets me know that I don't have to cast a scroll later because I know that your character is... That you're bad news. And so I'm going to try it again. And if this fails, I'm officially handing in my resignation.

Let's not be too hasty. You have it drafted? Come on. I do. I have it drafted. Dictated but not read. Here we go. It's not looking good for Troy.

Fail. Yeah. Oh. I would love to fudge that number, but it is a fail, fail, fail. And damn it, I play by the rules. I play by the rules. That being said, I am going to move out of Baron's range of his gun. So down towards.

No, no. That'll provoke from Bay Raza. So I got to move. You provoke no matter where you go. You have a 10-foot range? I'm big. Yeah. She's got reach.

She's got reach. No, I don't have a weapon out, actually. So I will move. I will move 30 feet down. Yeah, away from everybody. Yeah, that's 30. Actually, that's 25. That's fine. So this guy moves back towards the south eastern portion of the room.

Okay. It is now. Pembroke's turn. Okay. You've been casted. I have. So on Pembroke's turn, Okay. You've been casted. I have. So on Pembroke's turn there's a flash of white light

and an enormous creature a familiar one, appears on the battlefield. Alan the Ankylosaurus. Alan! And he appears to the by the mummy

on the other side of the room like 20 feet away. No, mummy, and the other side of the room, like 20 feet away. No, no, on the other side. Yeah, sorry. Next to Pembroke. He's going to charge. Yeah, yeah. So by the wall, and he lets out a roar, a celestial dinosauric roar,

straight from the Jurassic area, or Cenozoic, I can't remember. Roar! Let's not split hairs. And boom, fa-doom, fa-doom, and starts charging at the mummy and makes a charge attack with his mace-like tail and that is a 30 to hit.

Yeah! That'll do. That'll do, Alan. And that is Crush this mummy to pieces. Okay. So he swings his mace-like tail at the mummy. Crunch! And it's 20 points of damage. Okay. And make a fortitude save.

I don't think I have to do that. Do undead creatures have to roll fortitude saves? Do they even have fortitude saves? Sure. So undead traits, they roll fortitude saves? Do they even have fortitude saves? Sure. So undead traits, they are immune to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and any effect that requires a fortitude save. Okay. All right.

Unless the effect also works on objects or is harmless. Okay. All right. So 20 points of damage. I'm so glad I read that on the train this morning, because that's something I would have completely forgot about. Yeah. I'd like to play an undead character in a game. That'd be fun. Not forgot about. I'd like to play an undead character

in a game. That'd be fun. Play Divinity Original Sin 2. Undead are playable characters and it's very interesting. Or Starfinder. Or Starfinder. Are they playable races? Sure. Librians I think you can play It was an advanced class

Pack Worlds. Yeah. Pack Worlds were advanced. For the record by the way Ankylosauruses are from the Cretaceous period. They are Cretaceous. The very end of the Cretaceous period. Okay. Oh. Excellent. I knew that charge.

Pems is now your turn. You know, I should have known that because at the Denver Natural History Museum growing up, there was a diorama of an Ankylosaurus fighting a tyrannosaurus rex which is also a cretaceous dinosaur and i should have remembered that she's cretaceous i go three blocks away from that museum i spent two days a week there my entire childhood how long childhood museum experience yeah i a lot and the zoo was right next door too that's why i love animals trivia question how many million years approximately did the Cretaceous period last? 60 million?

Matthew? Well, the end of it was 68 to 66 million years ago. Joe? How long did the period last? I'll say 120 million years. Grant? One dollar. Grant, you win. 79 million. Yeah!

I said 60. 79 million years. Yeah1 too, Matthew. You chose not to. Now Grant gets to play Plinko! Now it's Pembroke's turn. Yes, so Pembroke uses the Metamagic Rod again. Okay. Cast Magic Missile. Remind me to sunder that. Add the mummy for 16 points of damage, assuming he's not shielded.

16 points of damage, okay. And he is going to start casting Summon Monster 4. Oh my god. Oh god, bye. Oh god, bye. Please stop, bye. Okay, that's fair.

That is very, that's more than fair. Let's be honest. All right, we're going to do a new round here. It is Perrin Red Peak. It's Ash Peak, actually. Let's be honest. All right. We're going to do a new round here. It is Perrin Red Peak. It's Ash Peak, actually. Red Peak Ice Team.

I like the portmanteau. How far away is this undead woman? At least seven parts out of your gun's range. Tell me a foot range. All right. Five, ten. Probably 40 feet. 15, 20, 20. Tell me a foot range. All right. 5, 10. Probably 40 feet. 15, 20, 20.

Somewhere between 35 and 40. Do you need to know the exact number? Because I'm standing up. I need to know the exact number. I hate you. I'm so sorry. That's not the mommy, the undead lady. So she's 25 feet up in the air and at least 40 over.

So she's pretty far. She's 40 as the crow flies and then 25 feet up. So that's like 50, 60 feet away? Sure. Sure. Okay, so I'll move... Whatever is harder for you. Which one? 60 then. Yeah, 60. So I'll move 30 feet because I can move 40 feet as a hasted creature. Okay.

And I will be 30 feet away from her. Okay. And because I cast Longshot on my... Are you walking up? Walking up at an angle, so I'm within 30 feet. So I'm probably a little bit below her, a little bit far away from her and because I cast long shot are you are you walking up walking up at an angle so I'm within 30 feet so I'm probably a little bit below her a little bit far away from her okay depending on the angle of the triangle okay and because she's 30 feet away from

me and I cast long shot on myself yeah pop shot at her all right I'm gonna give her a little soft cover from four bears just can I do it at an angle because I have 40 feet now because for because called soft bears the soft bears is in the way that is not my character's name isn't that the name that's the name of the bear from the snuggle commercial now i'll do whatever you say troy i'm not a guy i'm not a guy to argue with the person who killed me But I could walk at a lower angle and shoot above at her and not hit him. I don't like that type of math.

Okay. It's a very small little bonus. All right. And you're shooting at what? Touch AC with long shot? Touch AC, you're gonna hit. You know what? Stop belaboring this.

If you don't misfire, it's... Natural 20. Oh! Look at that. Joe. God in heaven. Grant, I don't have to look at it I believe you

It is It is every fifth roll God If James Spader From every John Hughes movie Was rolling This is what he'd be rolling And to confirm

It's an 18 on the die For a 36 To confirm Talk about my neon green 20 All of Grant's dies Need to be weighed It's a gold one. They never roll lower than 15.

All right, that is a confirmed crit. Times four crit. You crit the first mummy. Oh, my God. All right. Finding one quick here. This is from John in Exeter, New Hampshire. Oh, lovely, John.

Thank you so much for the submission. Exeter? I barely know her. Jesus Christ. Jesus, Skid. It is called... Hey, too, Skid. It is called The Sky Went Black.

Uh-oh. Let's see what happens here. Oh, no. Your projectile travels so fast, it tears the very fabric of reality and disappears. What? The rift reappears above the target's head as a storm of bullets rain down on him. Oh, wow. Normal damage, which is what?

Times three for you? Times four. No, no. Normal damage, I think, is times three for you. And an additional 1d8 damage for every three character levels you possess. So I have 11, so that's a total of 3d8 on top of my 3d8. So 68.

Yeah, this is good. This is really good for us, I think. So yeah, the bullet tears through space-time, opens above her, and just... It's a combination of all the magic. Joe, we're not going to add this up yet. Look at what I just rolled. Oh my God. Look at his face.

That's a total of 87 points. 87 points. Oh shit. Oh my God. John! Oh man. Nice crit, John. Well done. Nice job. Well done. Oh, my God. John. Oh, man. Nice crit, John. Well done.

Nice job. Well done. She is still alive. No, she's not. She is. Well, she's undead. Yeah. She's still undead.

She's alive. She's got hairs here. She is still alive. Grant, I don't know when. I don't know how. But very soon I'm going to kill that character and it's going to be awful

foreshadowing you heard it here first put this in the tease whoever's doing this tease you're going down Grant and it's going to be ugly it is now her turn is it foreshadowing if it's never going to happen? Don't you dare, Matthew.

Don't you dare. I just don't think you're man enough, Troy. Matthew, did you just jinx me? How dare you jinx me? I don't think even God himself could kill Baron if he wanted to. I'm not going to have a word for you. All right. All right.

All right. It's her turn. God, I wish I had more hit points. I want to go attack Baron. That's what I want to do. People in hell want ice water. But doing so, I don't see any way that doesn't provoke from four bears. And a good hit from four bears might end it for her.

And I don't want that to happen. And won't she take 2d4 points of damage from the wall of fire? Oh yeah, she will do that automatically. Not worried about that. Spoiler alert. Can't hurt her even at max damage. Fire resist.

Oh, she's immune to fire? Don't worry about it. Oh, 1d4. I've said too much. 2d4 rather. Let me ask you this. There's no way. No, 1d4. I've said too much. 2d4, rather. Let me ask you this. There's no way. No, there's no way, because you're right up in my business.

That was the whole idea. That's why he got right up in my business. Let me ask you this. What is your tit? Wait, no, we can't ask you that. Pass. I should have all of these character sheets at the ready like a real gem. All right, that's fair.

That's not fair. You know, Troy, maybe if you take the right angle of approach, you could find a All right, that's fair. That's, I mean, it's not fair. You know, Troy, maybe if you take the right angle of approach, you could find a, no, no, no, you're going to die. He doesn't want to do

that kind of math, right? God, I just wanted to really. I'll say this much. Last round, I was fighting defensively. So I'm definitely down. Yeah, yeah. And it is you.

But you know what? It's a long shot. This is when, this is when all of a sudden you'd be magically, you'd roll your 20 on a fucking attack of opportunity. There's actually no rhyme or reason to that because it's totally random. So you might as well just go for it. God, she's got so much good stuff and it just doesn't matter.

You should try using it. It just doesn't matter because I've got to use it against four bears. And I really want to use it against Baron. You could kill four bears. That would be a thing. That's true. That would be a thing. That's true. It's true. Do you think that could happen?

No, four bears AC is too high. You could put the, as a warning to Baron, you could kill one of his friends. That's fair, too. And then maybe he'll think one day he could take damage. Look at his face Look at his face You'd think the Giants Just lost the Super Bowl That was something they ever did

That was good Bottle cap That's a cheap way for a bottle cap. Just praising my football. I remember 2000. Okay. Year I moved to New York. Saddest day of my life.

I'm sorry. Okay. Really? No, it's not sad. Not even close. I'm all out of sorts here. 2000 in New York. He's crit. I have three monsters in sorts here. 2,000 in New York. He's crit.

I have three monsters in this room. He's crit two of them. All right. He could get three. I am going to provoke from four bears. You know, I have a vendetta. He's plus 24 to hit him. Sure.

Oh, no. Is that true? We're all to hit you, asshole. Even close. Fighting defensively. Let me see what you got. It's worth it. What has he got?

Ooh. He's a 22. Get out of here with that. Yeah. God, bitch. Yeah, I had a feeling. She moves towards Baron. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Why? And why not the elderly septuagenarian or octogenarian in the back? Or nonagenarian. I forget how old you are. Septuagenarian. Septuagenarian. With her gross claw just starts glowing with this black smoke around it.

And she reaches out to touch you with it. Right on your chest. Roll a will save. Oh, no. Come on. Wait, no. Come on! Wait, is it a touch attack? I don't have any bottle caps. Is it a touch attack?

Yeah, it is a touch attack. Yes, you still have to roll it. It is touch AC. All right, what'd you roll there, Grant? My will save was a 27. Well, you saved. So I will not roll the touch attack. But I will remain directly in front of you.

I want to know what happens. Did you touch him or did you miss? Let me see if I touched you with it. Because that's scary. Yeah, that is scary. That may be against your touch AC at 28. That's a hit. Oh, that's so cute.

It's a hit. She gave him a little pat on the old chest. That's a hit. Oh, that's so cute. Oh. That's a hit. She gave him a little pat on the old chest. She did so good. It hits you, but you save against the effect. So touching. And was it a spell or spell like? I'm just kidding. Just messing with you, Troy.

I wonder if it stays charged. Oh, yeah. It might stay charged. It might not discharge. No, if you touch him and he saves, it's discharged. Oh, yeah. It might stay charged. It might not discharge. No, if you touch him and he saves, it's discharged. If you miss. I'm literally grasping

at straws. Well, I killed one of you guys a couple weeks ago, so I guess I can take that to the bank. That is her move. She will stay right up in Baron's business,

which makes him basically ineffectual. Feyraza. Feyraza is going to cast Flameblade. Flameblade? Ooh. I don't like it. A three-foot-long blazing beam of red-hot fire springs forth from your hand.

Nah. You wield this blade-like beam as if it were a scimitar. Ugh. And then she will take the long way around with her hasted action to flank the mummy with Alan 10 feet away 10 feet away to flank

okay and that's it that's it alright just playing the slow game there Ferraza four bears do something four bears he took a swing at this creature twice now Four bears Do something Four bears He took a swing at this creature Twice now and missed

Pretty hardly she's very hard to hit So angrily he is going To give her a bit of an Evil eye Oh Oh yes I will save I will save

Is this a mind affecting effect Oh, yes. I remember that. Oh, my God. A will save, buddy. Is this a mind affecting effect? That's what I sound like. Well, it is. Is it? It is. Oh, she is immune to mind affecting effects. See, it's worth asking these questions. Yeah, exactly.

Okay, so immune to it. And then he will, I mean, he's still kind of 10 feet away, right? Well, he'll just step right next to her. Step right up in her business. Well, I mean, he was only 10 of 10 feet away, right? Well, he'll just step right next to her. Step right up at her business. Well, I mean, he was only 10 feet away from her. Sure. At the start of the round. So you're going to provoke?

No, he's going to take a five-foot step right next to her. Okay. I think. All right. Yeah, it's up to you. It's your character. Flanking's not going to matter with Baron. So yeah, he'll just come up next to her.

Like, next to her? Try to give her the evil eye, but she's immune to... Are all undead immune to mental effects i don't think they all are right there are intelligent and unintelligent all right okay i just want to make sure all right so he moves uh five feet closer okay he tries giving her the evil eye does nothing okay all right so you're still within 10 feet no five feet oh she was right next to her so i can take my provoke no it's five foot step. He was only ten feet away. Sorry.

Five foot step closer. I got you. I got you. You know, this is the basic rules of combat. Joe, I literally want to take any attack I can. I know. I feel you. All right.

It is my mummy's turn. My sweet, sweet mummy. Oh, God, I hate you guys. Okay, so both the Ankylosaurus and Feyraza are within reach. These entangling wrappings, which I was so excited about when I first read. Useless! What if you attack someone besides her? It's a damn party.

So I'm going to go ahead and do a full attack action on Feyraza. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. First attack, slam. Natural 20. Oh. Whoa.

Whoa. Now, I have DR. Okay. Does that negate crits? It's DR5 evil. No. That's what the damage is. It's DR5 evil.

This would just pass right through, right? No. Well, on a slam. No. That's hard to say. It's a melee. Oh, no, no, no. It's not. It has to be an actual evil-aligned weapon. Oh, cool. But is the natural attacks of a pure evil creature evil-aligned? No.

I don't think so. While you guys Google that, let me confirm this crit. I use Bing, Troy. That is going to be, let me just do the math here real quick, 40 to confirm. Wow. Is it a named character? It is not. I wish I had named it.

So a little double damn? This is going to be bad. This is going to be real bad. This is just the first attack. This is just the first attack two sixes on some D6s here. Alright, you ready for this? No. He's got to

write it down. He's got to do it by hand. He's doing hand math. He's not a very bright person though. He's doing hand math. 42 points of regular damage. Oh, my God. I'm assuming cold damage doesn't... It's like sneak attack.

That doesn't double, right? I have energy resistance to cold. Oh. Well, then that one point of cold won't hurt you. Correct? Yeah. And then 42 points of regular damage? 42 regular. 37 regular. And then, you know what? Just. And then 42 points of regular damage? 42 regular.

37 regular. And then you know what? Just for shits and gigs, why don't you go ahead and roll a fortitude save? Oh my god! As this cold fist just boom! Hits you! 23. You just feel like you almost were ready to slow

down. Oh wow. Wow. Okay. But. Wow, okay. But instead, you don't, as it winds up for its second attack. Oh, my God. This could be pretty bad. Oh, no. I should turn on power attack.

Why didn't I turn on power attack? Don't roll a natural twin zoning. I forgot. Oh, it went out and came back in. Natty 19. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Oh, no. Why can't this slam crit 19 to 20?

Oh man. That's one in there. And the other one. Oh Troy! It's going to be 22 points of damage. 17 points of damage. Plus

you don't take the cold damage. I need you to roll take the cold damage. I need you to roll a fortitude save. 23 again. Damages. Yes. Be rosa. Damages done.

Just boom, boom, boom. You know, I actually have a picture of these guys here. These guys sound bad. I didn't know they were this badass. Yeah, they hurt a lot. What was all that wrapping? This is one of those great images with the Pathfinder iconics. Oh, my God. They're terrifying.

See Harsk and the half-orc female Inquisitor? Yeah, yeah. Badass. That's cool. Does she have a gun? She's got her greatsword, and he's got, like, the entangling wrappings are holding the greatsword. So that's what this works when it looks like. Oh, that's what it looks like.

Which is kind of fun. That's what it looks like. Oh, that's what it looks like. Which is kind of fun. That's what it looks like when it's scary. So that's going to be his attack action. And he'll go ahead and five foot step up. And it is now Pembroke's and Alan's and the new creature's turn. Okay. That provokes for me. Oh, you said five foot step.

Five foot step, yeah. I thought the same thing, Matthew. I thought the same thing. So, let's resolve Alan first. So, Alan takes another swing with his mace like he roars, swings his

tail at the mummy and that is a 28 to hit. That's a hit. mummy. And that is a 28 to hit. That's a hit. And that is 22 points of damage. No fortitude save. And then at that moment

next to on the opposite side of the mummy flash of light appears a celestial lion named Keith. Keith the Celestial Lion. Keith. Who also lets out a stirring roar. Oh, no.

Like the beginning of an MGM movie. And that's a large creature, right? And that is a large... Yes, that is a large creature. And he pounces. He bites and misses. Claw, 16, I assume, misses. And 20 misses, probably?

Misses, yes. Okay, so he's just like... Populated the battlefield. All right, Pibbs. And Pembroke will, he won't use the metamagic rod, he's just gonna cast another

magic missile on the mummy again. Ooh. Okay. That is 16 more points of damage Cool, good work Good work Still up

These guys came to fight Wow Okay, any movement Pems? Pembroke is just going to take a 5 foot step away from the mummy 5 foot step away from the mummy Back into the consecrated area. Very well. New round.

I'm going to say this is the last round the protection from evil is on. Ah! Okay. You know, you gave me the benefit of the doubt

when I gave my fun little speech. So I'm not going to say that took the entire ten rounds. But I will say this is the last round. I'll take it a step further. Baron, it's done after your turn. Oh, wow.

So last round was the last round. So we still have it. You still have it until you act. Until after Baron goes. I'll say you each have it until you act. Okay. Wow. Baron, you're up first.

And then you're done with your protection from evil. And so in order to instigate her touch attack against me, was she 10 feet away, 5 feet away? How far away was she? She was right up in your biz. Right up in my biz. So I'm going to take a 5-foot step away. I'm going to get up close and deadly. I'm going to try to end this fight.

Do it. Crap. Come on. Let's see what happens. So you move 5 feet away. You're still within her reach. I'm going to try to end this fight. Do it. Crap. Let's see what happens. So you move five feet away. You're still within her reach, but she took her... But she can't hit me with that weird fortitude saving thing, right, at that point? No, I'm just concerned.

She can't hit you with a sight? She can hit you with anything, but the problem is she took her attack of opportunity against four beings. Oh, great. Right? No. Oh, no, she didn't. Five foot step. So you're going to get it, Baron. But do you get the claw?

Or do you get the scepter? Roll the happy face dice. I know. Should I make a decision that way? No, I really... You're impossible to hit. Just roll, baby. Just roll. Well, I've got to make a decision

before I roll. Sailing takes me away to a... You know what? I'm not interested in damaging you. I'm interested in debilitating you. Okay, got it. So she attempts to hit you with the claw. But I've hurt you.

Oh, crack dive. Okay, classic. Natty 18. Okay. Probably still a miss. Against my touch AC? Get out of here. No, I wish.

It is going to be a 30. Is she a giant? No. You know what? That's a hit. Oh. Oh my God. You know, I assumed she was a giant.

I just went undead bank because I knew she was undead. Guess what? Almost went giant bank. So did I. Wow. Yeah. That is going to be. So did I. Wow. Yeah. That is going to be 10 points of damage. Okay.

And I need you to roll. It's actually more than 30. I'm looking at the wrong. Oh, no. What am I talking about? 10 points of damage. Forget that. I'm looking at the wrong damn thing.

It is going to be 11 points of damage. Oh. Oh. Game changer. No. No. No. How can you do this to me?

I need you to roll a fortitude save. That is a, ooh, that's a bad roll. Oh. We're talking spells, spell-like ability. Come on. No, it's a disease. Okay. Come on.

You guys have passed every single save. Just fail. That's a 16. it's a disease. Okay. Come on. You guys have passed every single save. Just fail. That's a 16. That's a fail! Oh, yes! Yes! Oh, no! Yes!

Oh, this is bad, Baron. This is bad news. This is exactly why I wanted Pembroke to summon his second monster behind her because I knew she had something up her sleeve you step back slow motion just pull out the gun to go up it close and deadly but as you do just boom this claw

comes through four bears has already been hit by it it hits you you fail your save and contract bubonic plague oh my god oh no you are going to take You fail your save and contract Bubonic Plague. What? Oh, my God. Oh, no. You are going to take four points of con damage.

Wait, wait, wait. Right away? Right away. On set immediate. Oh, my God. And you are fatigued. Go ahead and take your shot, buddy. You got the plague. That will be her last action

For the record Alright, Troy I've quickly typed in these adjustments Into my hero lab You got me down to a third of my HP, buddy Oh my god That's pretty good But does that preclude me from doing my full round attack action against you?

Let me ask you that question First attack is a hit Does that preclude me from doing my full-run attack action against you? Let me ask you that question. Missed fire? Maybe I missed fire? First attack is a hit. Oh, God help us. Second attack is a hit. Don't roll. Roll the damage for those two attacks.

All right, all right, all right. I'm so excited. You know she dead. Excited. She dead. And then the 2d6 for undead. Bam, bam. And up close and deadly. 15. bam. And up close and deadly.

15. Don't forget up close and deadly, Grant. Cracked eye. Okay. So that is a total of 27 points damage on the first attack. She is dead. Yes! You have killed her.

But not without contracting the plague. Wow. It's a Pyrrhic victory yeah that's like a hell of a like last gas no but i love the idea that when great last i'm sorry but you have the plague when you're when you're fighting against like these unfathomable monsters that like some piece of you dies while you're fighting them or you Or you get some sort of scar that you can never live down. Yeah, yeah. I like to think you got it from the unholy blight. Sure.

And just stayed. That too. Do you want to know what was next? She was going to, and I just could never get this off, activate a scroll of fleshworm infestation. Ooh. Touch you. She would have guaranteed hit your touch AC.

infestation. Touch you. She would have guaranteed hit your touch AC. And you must make a fortitude save every round for 11 rounds. Every time you fail, you take 1d6 points of damage and 2 points of dex damage. That's devastating.

19 or 20. I mean, you would have failed a handful of those. At least half, maybe? Be down 10 dex. Holy shit. But Protection from Evil would negate that spell. That's why I was going to take it off you. But alright, so you killed her with the first hit. Your second hit

hit, but you're not within range of the mummy. I mean, I will take... How many feet away am I? Is that a long shot still, or is that not on anymore? How many feet away am I? Like 80? 5, 10, 15, 20, 25. 25 total? You're up in the air.

Yeah, I'm up in the air. 40 plus. 40 plus. I have 30 feet. So that's a minus two. I'm going to take my next shot against them. So this is minus two. Okay.

So outside of my first range of increment right now, which is 30 feet. I'm going to make you roll it to penalize you for rolling all those hits. It's going to be against regular AC. Okay. 17 on the deck. For a total of 34. Yes, that's a hit, Greg. He's a giant, right?

Okay, so that's maxed out. That's 27 points. So this thing, this woman, this half-naked beautiful woman, kind-hearted, blue woman, well-meaning, flesh-worm infestation, as you step back to shoot her, she hits you with the claw, gives you the plague!

That doesn't make me happy, though. You kill her. You then, on a hairpin turn, shoot and kill the mummy. Yeah! That's bad. You have cleansed the chapel for now, and we'll see you next week.

Victory! Victory! Victory! Victory! Victory! Victory! I never got to swing my thing. The Glass Cannon Podcast is a Glass Cannon Network production and is an officially licensed partner of Paizo Incorporated.

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