The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 171 - Days of Sunder

Episode Date: September 4, 2018

The party finally decides to infiltrate the mysterious longhouse on the north side of the camp. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast, the heroes enter a longhouse of epic proportions. Those of you with dark vision can see that the room goes pretty deep. And instantly... That, I mean, that's a game changer right away. The tables are turned. Oh, boy, that looks pretty good, Baron. Oh, shit.

Let me ask you this. Oh, 35? Oh, shit. Let me ask you this. Oh, 35? Oh, no! They scramble for solutions. Well, can we ask the giants if we can take a break? Guys, can we just take 10? Guys, 10-minute truce.

And try to adapt. Getting creative, Troy. I'm getting spicy over here. Trying some new tactics. In a fight. Reflex. Reflex. 12. Trying some new tactics. In a fight. Reflex. Reflex. 12.

Fail. Damn it. That's been a long time coming. This is payback for the brewery fright. This is what he's trying to do. He's trying to redeem himself. This is a redemption song. The adventure continues.

Bottle cap. Bottle cap. Bottle cap! Bottle cap! No. What is up, everybody? It's your old buddy, Troy. It's time for a new GCP, and I am pumped to roll this one out. If you are listening to this episode on the release day, September 4th, 2018, you are listening on your good buddy Troy's 40th birthday. 40 years old!

This also marks 18 years of me living in New York City. I moved here on my 22nd birthday many, many moons ago. Drove a U-Haul from Haverhill, Massachusetts to a little basement apartment on the Upper West Side. You know, it's funny how life works. I have had 18 years of the highest highs and the lowest lows. Just this past year alone brought me some of the worst lows I have ever had and the greatest highs of my life. Having a son, for example. Now I'm looking down the barrel of a very successful creative endeavor that I was finally able to create on my own terms. Now it may not be exactly the way I pictured it would be, but we're also just warming up. The distance from where I am to where I want to be

is closer than it's ever been. So I mention all this to remind the good people of GCP Nation, the Naish, who have been sharing their personal experiences with us since day one in emails, in handwritten letters, or when we meet in person. If life's got you down, if you feel totally fucking lost and hopeless, if you think that the distance from where you are and where you want to be is just getting farther and farther away,

I'm telling you, just keep plugging away. Stay in the fight because it is a fight every single day. Maintain your passion or work hard to discover what that passion is and have faith, okay? You may not end up exactly where you thought you wanted to be, but you'll end up where you were supposed to be all along. And hopefully for you, you won't have four useless idiots working under you

as you carry them to fame and fortune that they've neither earned nor deserve. We're having fun. We had some big announcements last week. Number one, the one, the only, Niccolo will be filling in for Matthew this week on the Pathfinder Playtest Doomsday Dawn Twitch. Part one was a resounding success, and we cannot wait for part two.

It's happening this Friday, September 7th, 8 p.m. Eastern. Number two, the $35,000 goal on Patreon was announced. Joe has been chomping at the bit to GM again. Well, when we hit $35 35k per month on Patreon, we'll be bringing back all the characters from Disorganized Play that you know and love. We're talking Randolph the Great, Jane Lowe, Tishpach Zababa Abzu Zamash,

Arconus Theverith, Garie, Aliatra Baker, Matthew's forgettable character. The whole gang's gonna be there as Joe takes us through the Emerald Spire Super Dungeon. 13 levels of pain to fill those bi-weeks between Raiders of the Lost Continent episodes. We've been wanting to play that one for a long time, so we cannot wait to get started.

And finally, number three, if you're coming to our live show in Los Angeles on October 7th, you will be experiencing in person the beginning of a brand new adventure as we embark on the Strange Aeons adventure path. I wanted a continuing story with continuing characters and real stakes for these live shows. So now if you're catching us at one of our traveling shows, seeing us perform at conventions, hell, we're going to be doing some twitches of this too after we finish the play test.

You're going to be watching a live session of us playing through the entire Strange Aeons adventure path. Love crafty and horror at its finest. It's going to be literally insane! Alright, blah-biddy-blah-blah-blah. Classic LaVallee long intro, but heed my words. Keep your heads up. We've got your back.

GCP Naish has your back as well. In the meantime, let's get to the show. Please enjoy episode 171 of the glass cannon podcast i don't know about you guys but i am fired up yeah i'm feeling good i'm right there with you man so there's a fire giant in here that's what you're telling us i am fire gianted up good old flamey we barely knew him we barely knew you i drank i i i had a i had a couple of cocktails no kidding before we start no i had a i had a beer from our good friend jen beavis uh from trillium brewing company oh

yeah dialed in uh double ipa which is made from uh saignon Blanc grapes. Now, are those the ones that are really hard to get? Trillium is a lot more easy to access than Treehouse, which she also sent us. Oh, Treehouse is the one that you went and saw. Gentlemen, this is not the beer pressure podcast. How dare you? How dare you? That was the pilot to the show. Yeah, this is just the evolution

of the beer pressure podcast. Treehouse, I'm actually thinking about going there on my 40th birthday just driving up with my wife and the baby and just waiting in line getting a case and after case of beer that whatever they allowed to get getting two drafts and then driving back and you know what you do when you're holding little archer when you get back home you say look at those boxes aren't you there goes your college tuition there they go That's me rocking him And now I'm drinking a Light Shine Radler Which is from the great state of Colorado

We're still going From our good friend Jefferson Park Well it's more It's not about the beer so much As it is about our friends Yeah what is up Jefferson Park Jeff Park Jeff Park Thank you so much

I talked to him There's a couple things that just never get old. Receiving beer in the mail from all around the United States. And drinking said beer. You know, this is like the beer pressure podcast. But you know how you can tell that it isn't? The rest of us are on it? No, because it's successful.

I was going to say, success? Is it successful and people listen to it? It's true. You know I've never listened to the beer pressure podcast it's a classic i was you and millions and millions of others you're in a massive club billions even billions in my defense i think when it came out i only knew you as that other that rando giants fan at troy as that rando Giants fan at Joe's Super Bowl party. Yeah.

Right, right. That really loud guy. That makes my wife laugh. She does find me very funny. She does? My wife? Yes. Okay.

I get a good laugh out of your wife. She's a good audience. You can be in front of a good audience. Forget it. She has a good audience You can be in front Of a good audience Forget it She has a good sense Of humor She does Unlike her husband

She's fun to have At a Super Bowl party She is She is The Giants won That Super Bowl They sure did Because that's what they do

They win Super Bowls Joe Yeah I know what that's like Finally Sure do Welcome to the club We'll never not hear about it Sure do Welcome to the club I'm here sure do welcome to the

club uh i'm also fired up because we are making a triumphant return to roll 20 for yes we are yes we are this week's episode giant maps brought to you by roll 20 actually it's not, but if they want to. Yeah, you guys, you're welcome to sponsor us. I'm surprised that we haven't gone back to Roll 20 sooner because the maps are so large, but all the buildings you've gone to have been manageable with my Mondo mat. But this one is just, I thought there was no way to do it justice other than to throw it up on Roll20.

So we're back. Wow. Yeah. I mean, it makes sense considering it was mind-blowing to me. I was thinking about it after the episode. 300 feet long? Yeah. And if you look at it on the actual map, I mean, it looks, you know, like a significant building.

Right. It doesn't look 300 feet wide. I think this is where they keep all their cotton candy. Right? We'll find out. And party favors? And mostly party favors. That's one guy guarding a bunch of candy.

That's the best case scenario. That's if we roll a 69 on the teleport. Stay back. Stay back. There's a lot of bougie fruits. You know what's so funny is we haven't... You can take the mics, but not the Ikes. Joe just spit up.

How does he do it? Just leave me the Ikes. It takes Skid three hours to eat a box of Mike and Ikes because he has to separate them all before he starts. It's incredible. It's in my rider. The Ikes are... It's in my rider.

Only Ikes. Ikes are The Ikes are It's in my rider Only Ikes In the dressing room Ikes only You guys What's interesting here I don't know Are you logged on to Roll20 yet? Because we're

Yeah I've already started I logged in We are prepared I was looking in the journal here It's just some characters On the side Let me throw out some names to you

You might remember From the last time we did Roll20 Aram Shinerman Dead Baron Ashpeak of course how about delanarn dead dead fay raz al said still around four bears lexington the magical wolf dead dead probably died probably dead lork iron missing dead dead definitely dead wow nester coin actually work lives question mark definitely a lot question mark yes uh pembroke the potent Actually, Lark lives. Question mark. Definitely alive. Definitely alive. Question mark. Yes.

Pembroke the Potent. Razzmatazz the Red Cap. Dead. Definitely dead. Sir Willamette Keswick. Questionable. Jerry's still out. Umlonar Grimkin.

Dead. Twice. Twice dead. And Ymir Shinnerman? Question mark. This SOB? Oh, this SOB. Oh, yeah. Wait, Aram is alive, right? Aram's alive.

Aram is alive, yeah. I apologize to Aram. Ymir is dead. And we never had Ingerhild on here. We never did Roll 20 prior to the Tomb of... No, Ingerhild. Man, she did not pass. We never did Roll 20 with Gormley either.

Deep into Book 3. No, we didn't. Man, she did not pass. We never did Roll 20 with Gormley either. Deep into Book 3. No, we didn't. I blame you, Troy. Well, I blame the dice. I always do. Guys, you are here. He's not making eye contact with me. I refuse.

He did. He's ready to go. You guys have teleported over to this longhouse. 300 feet long or wide, as Joe mentioned. I said the size of a human palace. The palaces of the Five Kings Mountains, Baron, must remind you of those great palaces. I haven't been home in a long time, Troy.

I don't know why I note the GM's name as Baron, but for some reason I do it looks to the sky I feel it on the wind I've been home a long time Troy who's Troy do you think there's a Baron you alright

do you think in our version of this game that there is a god in the pantheon that represents the GM maybe is his name Twa Twa what's his alignment chaotic evil no it's it's it's neutral french canadian ah that's the alignment so neutral yeah exactly wow um you're standing outside the longhouse the western entrance there are three big double doors leading in one One to the east, one right to the center. Those look to be the ones

that the giants, the officers as you saw, were coming in and out of the most. The one that was the least frequented is this one to the west. You come up, you inspect it. I think Baron inspected it. Yeah, locked, barred from the inside. You saw that

everyone was just knocking, so you thought, well, we'll try it. Joe, as forebears, knocks and says, they're like, who's there? Who is it? That's right. Who is it? And you're like, officers. Very cleverly, I might add. Very cleverly.

Very important people that you should open the door for. Right. And Pembroke, how do you aid him, Pembroke? I said tell him that we encountered a problem on patrol. We need to speak to, what's his name? The Hearseer. The Hearseer, right. Taking a gamble that perhaps the Hearseer's in here.

Maybe. Or someone that maybe takes messages for the Hearseer. Right. With Pembroke's aid, the door is unlatched and cracked open. And you hear on the other side, Come in!

So weird. Let me get you on this map because i've had you uh looking at this beautiful uh image of the uh the mummified giants that you guys fought inside of uh ergothoa's cathedral there but now i will move you are to the map oh shoot uh oh Oh, shoot. Oh, it's real big. Yeah. Oh, it's real big. It's a biggin'. I found us.

It took me a minute. Oh, my God. Seriously. Oh, this is huge. Wow. I've got to zoom out. Wow. Yes.

Oh, what? Okay. Wow. This is great right here. Oh, man, this is awesome. So we're headed. Yeah, this really is. We are headed.

A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man. You stand in front of this door. So it's on the door. Is that on the door? To give you an idea of the size of the map, all four of us could stand comfortably on the N of the north of the compass. That's right.

That's true. Comic map. That's right. That's true. Comic map. That's how huge the map is. That is a big map, my friends. I got the old fog of war on here. The door to the right opens, cracked open. Trying to peek out, are we? You know what?

I'll reveal a little bit. I'll reveal a little.. I'll reveal a little. A little bit of what you see. Oh. A little something. A little something right there. You see about, oh, 15 feet into the room, there seems to be probably a brazier to the right that is illuminating.

That's illuminating. At least that corner. Casting some firelight. Yeah, but beyond that, it starts to get dark. Maybe farther into the room, there are more sources of light, but that brazier is just giving off a 20-foot radius worth of light, and then beyond that, it's dark. Now, those of you with dark vision can see that the room goes pretty deep.

A couple tables. You don't see anybody inside. Forebear, as soon as that door cracks He pushes through the door Pushes As quickly as possible Through the door I like it

Please Place yourself Inside of the room I would imagine Four bears sort of steps in Like catty corner Just sort of Into the opening

To You know To reveal more fog of war To reveal more fog of war Well basically because He just was He didn't want somebody to peek out See who we were and shut the door again

So as soon as it opened He pushed and pushed himself in Does anyone else sort of follow his lead Or are you just kind of waiting to see What happens upon Forbear's entrance Baron is hot on his tail He's right there Please place yourself in the hot direction of Forbear's tail.

Right there. Please place yourself hot on his tail. Already there. I'm so hot on that tail. Let me give you a little flavor, if you will. Oh, no. There are drakes in here. This is where the drakes sleep?

Oh, no. The whole time, the cab was run by the drakes. The flavor drakes. I hate the drakes. run by the drakes The flavor drakes I hate the drakes You see braziers Like I said illuminating This end of the chamber Once you go in for bears Do you have dark vision?

No But you can see on the other side of the room There's at least one other brazier on the far end as well And also a soft glow emanating from a huge fire pit in the floor to the east wall. So up ahead about 40-50

feet the wall turns and you can see through the dark a huge fire pit illuminating that side. There's two enormous tables lining the walls on either side of this nook. Pembroke is going to ready an action. The minute he sees

a threat, he's going to cast mirror image on himself. Ah, okay. So you see on either side of that fire pit are two huge tables with tankards, platters, kegs, and again, you're just seeing this flickering firelight of that fire pit are two huge tables with tankards, platters, kegs. And again, you're just seeing this flickering firelight of the fire pit.

And there's a massive cauldron hanging by heavy chains above the fire. You enter double doors to what is now the south of this building, we'll say. There's also a set of double doors exiting to the west. That's not all you see, forebears. Because when you stampede, what's the word I'm looking for?

Heedlessly? No. Heedlessly. That's not right. Bravely. Bravely. Boldly. I like it. Boldly. Boldly, one might say. Boldly. You see, to your left, very, very close to you, a frost giant. Oh, no. And right behind him. His tone suggests more than just the frost giant.

Right behind him, a cyclops. Oh, no. You're over initiative. Oh, no. A cyclops. A cyclops. Oh, no. Dear God. Can I roll for initiative? Oh, no. A cyclops. A cyclops. Oh, dear. Oh, my God. I'm going to roll for this initiative with something a little Joe Brine taught me.

A little backspin. Yeah, Tony. We're working on the backspin here. Oh, 15 on the die, buddy. What are you going to get? What are you going to get? What do I get with the backspin? 16 on the die.

Oh, you're in the spin zone. Let's smash the boards and swing the swords, baby. Yeah, you got to get that backspin on the roll. The die comes back to you, and it looks like it rolls over 15 every time. Right, Matthew? All the time. It's hitting me. Time to stop touching.

No touching. We're having fun. All right, Feyraza, what do you got? 13. 13 for Uncle Feyraza. Four bears. 18. 18 for four bears.

Okay. What is your initiative modifier? Plus two. Okay. Pembroke? 10. 10 for Pems. And Barron?

28. 28. Doggy. Pembroke, what is your initiative modifier? 28. Doggy. Pembroke, what is your initial modifier? One. Plus one. Plus one. Round one.

Baron. Bear, bear. Ooh, so is that door still open a crack? It sure is. The door to the right. Okay. So Baron's going to squeeze through that space through his ally's square and uh get eyes on what uh his companion forbear sees he sees the frost shine he sees the

cyclops uh he's going to move as you're looking at the map now uh troy is that a place that i could get to sure is all right he's going to in there, and since he moved more than five feet, he's going to take one shot. Now, you are in the light of that brazier, but they are in darkness. Do you have dark visions? I have dark visions. Then you are fine. But I'm thinking about casting silence on myself, so the rest of... But then that would affect all of our spellcasters, too.

It's a rough decision, but we went in boldly and bravely, so I'm gonna fire at that frost shaman. Oh, man! I think we're bringing the whole camp down on us. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. You did, boy. Oh, boy. You didn't. Joy, that's a...

That's a misfire. No! Right out of the case! Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew! No! No! No! No! No! Right out of the case! Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew! Oh, no! Misfire! Wow! He falls in the brazier and burns alive. You might as well throw your gun in there.

Wow, misfire off the bat! Brutal. I mean, that's a game changer right away. I'm going to take a swift action while I can off the misfire to enact a judgment of sacred destruction plus dose. Plus dose. Okay. All right. Oh, geez.

Oh, man. It's a rough start. The frost giant saw you, Baron. Saw you, fire away. He's going to go ahead and run up to you, swing his great axe, and attempt to sunder your gun. I believe that would provoke. Unless he has reach from Four Bears. If you have improved sunder.

Oh. Yeah, because you stepped into a threatened square. Not improved Sunder. Four Bears hasn't acted, so it doesn't matter. Four Bears has not acted and he has reach.

Oh, that doesn't matter. He's going to attempt to swing at this strange weapon. No, no. That just misfired. You cannot Sunder it.

It is unacceptable. So this is actually one of the first times we've sundered in the whole show. Or at least attempted to. He attempted to sunder your gun before. Also, he attempted to sunder Nestor's bow before, too. Omas from tried to sunder some armor. Wow. Matthew.

Wow. Or did he get his own armor sundered? I don't know. But let's keep on vamping while Troy looks up the rules for sunder. Here it comes. Combat maneuver check with improved sunder. I get a plus two and do not provoke. Oh, boy, that looks pretty good, Baron.

Oh, shit. Let me ask you this. Oh, 35? Oh, no. 35 barely hits me. Oh no! Mine's 34. Boom!

Wow. We're gonna need everybody else now. Oh my god. Oh my god! Let me take you on a little walk through Sunday. Grant, if that's your real name.

It is. If your attack is successful. It is. Ideal damage to the item normally. This is bad. Damage that exceeds the object's hardness. Wait, wait, wait. Normally as in like what you would do to a creature if you just hit it with your...

Yes. This is very bad. That's going to be a ton of damage, dude. It's just a frost giant with a great axe. Yes. This is very bad. That's gonna be a ton of damage, dude. It's just a frost giant with a greataxe. Dude. If an object has equal to or less than half its total HP remaining, it gains the broken condition. Not

too bad. If, however, the damage you would deal reduces the object to less than zero hit points, I can choose to destroy it. If you don't choose to destroy it, I don't need to read the rest of that. Basically. Why would you choose not to destroy it?

I know, right? Like, I want to keep it. I want to keep it as a souvenir. Oh, no, actually. No, if it's a valuable thing. It's like, I'm going to kill this guy and take it from him and repair it. Exactly. Most projectile weapons have hardness 5, hit points five.

You have two. How many enhancement bonuses do you have on? I have two plus one enhancement bonuses on my weapon. All right, so that's going to add plus two twice to your hardness. So it's going to have hardness nine, and it's going to add plus ten twice to your hit points. So it's going to have 25 hit points. You're so fast with this math. It's incredible. Nine, hit points 25. it's going to have 25 hit points. You're so fast with this math. It's incredible.

Hardness 9, hit points 25. 10 plus 10, that's a tough one. I'm going to do some damage here. Probably broken, not necessarily. Subtract 9 from this, and if it's over 25, you're done, bro. Is it possible? It certainly is. Wow.

I'm so fast with this man. 25 points of damage total. Oh, so it lives. Only broken. Wow. But he can just sunder again. Yeah, for now. Brutal.

In the meantime, my hot, hot companions come in with their hot, hot heads, and they destroy these giants while he's fascinated by my firearm. So it takes 16 points of damage, and it now has nine hit points left from total destruction. Oh, man. Oh, my God. Not great. Coming right off a misfire, too. How many hit points does it have left?

Nine. It is now the Cyclops turn. And he steps up la la la to hit all four bears. All four bears.

He has a great axe as well. And you know what? I'm going to put on power attack. Number one. And number two, I'm going to invoke this power known as Flash of Insight. Oh, I remember this. Cyclops. From the hills have I. Yeah, they're prophetic powers.

Prophetic powers. And I'm going to say that this roll is a natural 20 critical threat. Oh, my God. Right on for bears. Critical threat! Wait, it was actually? No, with Flash of Insight, I choose what the next one is. Oh, right, right, right.

So once per day is the immediate action. Psychops can peer into an occluded visual spectrum of possible futures, gaining insight that allows it to expect the exact result of one die roll. That one eye is a very powerful eye. Damn your eye. Damn that eye.

To confirm. It's a natural 20 looking right at me. That's horrifying. To confirm. Horrifying. With power attack on. Here we go. Could he unconsciousify in one shot?

I got the papers. The bears of four. It is going to be only a 20 to confirm. Oh. Get that shit out of here. All right. The bears are back in town. Wasted that inside the back of town.

I thought about waiting to see if I got the crit. Use it on a confirm. You have to use it on a confirm. You have to use it on a confirm. But I wanted to start on the juicy. It was good for radio. I'll give you that. You like the juice? Power attack.

Exploding dice. Exploding dice. Thank you. I was trying to think of the word. I could see that. I rolled a three and two sixes. Oh, no. We're exploding twice. Oh, no. We're exploding twice.

Oh, man. Now the added bonus explodes as well, right? No. We're having fun. No. Okay, so let's just keep rolling. All right, only one big explosion. 37 points of damage.

37. Boom. Good. With the great axe Good gravy Bring it on Gravy Bring it And it is Four bears turn

This guy was 10 feet away from you You are standing Just at the entrance To this room And out of the light range What is your dark vision situation? I asked you earlier

I just I'm a human So I don't have any bonuses here. So five foot step would be a 20% missed chance. Anything ranged from here is going to be a 50% total. Jeez. All right, this is already... Look at the size of the Cyclops and the Frost Giant next to Baron and Four Bears.

Huge. Huge. All right. Then Four Bears is going to, man, at the violence of this scene, he's going to step up. He's going to swift action. Not swift action. Free action. You are standing directly between two giants.

He's going to draw his mace. Okay. Nah deal, guardian of the people. He's going to draw his mace. Okay. Nahadil, guardian of the people. He's going to pull out this mace. Yeah. And he's going to do an incantation. Okay. Which will then summon from within him the spirit of an ancestor warrior.

Oh. So you see a spirit sort of surround him. Of an ancestor warrior. Oh. So you see a spirit sort of surround him, this other warrior, you know, with a different weapon, a different garb, but sort of translucent around him. What's his name? I don't know. Damn it!

I thought you, didn't you say that you worship these ancestors? Yes. Did you skip CCD? I'm glad you asked what his name is, Troy. Alan. I'm glad you asked what his name is, Troy. Alan. I'm glad you asked. Alan's a warrior. His name was... Three bears.

Three bears. Three bears. Running Bear. Oh. His name was Running Bear. Wow. And he was a great warrior of my tribe. And he...

His spirit empowers me. You won several half marathons. Yes. Yes. Several 5Ks. Several 5Ks. Several 5Ks. They're all for charity. He participated in several 5Ks.

He has a record for the most fun runs completed in one season. He came in fourth in his age range. All right. He steps up and enacts the power of disability. Yeah. And that's my turn. Oh, that's a standard? That's a standard.

Oh. So that's his turn. He becomes a little bit more formidable. Okay. That must be pretty powerful if that's a standard action. Fey Raza, you are 10 feet from entering the room. You hear action. Let me ask you a question.

I'll allow it. How tall are the ceilings in this room? I'm glad you asked. They are 25 feet tall. Okay. Feyraza is going to step into the room on this far side of Baron here. And she's going to reach over and mend his gun. Oh, very nice.

That's not like an action. It's, very nice. No, no, no. That's not like an action. It's a spell. It's a spell, Doug. Oh, it takes a minute, though. It takes ten minutes. It takes ten minutes? You mean the level zero spell?

Ten minutes. Yeah, it takes ten minutes. All right, I won't do that. Well, can we ask the giants if we can take a break? Guys, can we just take ten? Guys, ten minute truce. Ten minute truce. Stop hitting me.

Just wait until halftime, and we can do it in the locker room. Yes. Plus, I can't see you. This is not fair. This is not a fair fight. Okay, instead, I will cast a spell. Okay. Called Air Geyser.

Oh. So I'm going to cast that one. Never heard that one. You're always making up interesting spells. Right? I know. Interesting third-party spells. You got him, one. You're always making up interesting spells. Interesting third party spells. You got him, Joe.

You got him, buddy. Kobold press this time, Matthew? I'm going to do it on the frost giant. Just see the spell on a sheet of paper that says, from the desk of Matthew. Roll reflex it. Who? The frost giant. The frost giant?

All right. Let me just change to him in my hero lab. What save? Reflex. Reflex. 12. Fail.

Damn it. Okay. So for the first blast of air, I create a powerful blast of air capable of flinging an opponent upward.

So a blast of air shoots up from underneath them. My God. First thing that happens is you take 2d6 points of bludgeoning damage. I like it. So you take 6 points of damage. Okay. And then it's going to fling you

upward 5 times your caster level in feet. Oh, wow. Whoa, now let me just ask you. I have to ask. Casting time? One action. Okay. If a solid object touches the ceiling. The range is 25 feet plus 5 feet for every 2 of us. And how far is it going to throw me? It's going to throw you 50 feet straight upward.

If I hit the ceiling, what am I going to do? A solid object, such as a ceiling, is encountered. The target strikes the object in the same manner as it would during a normal fall. After this blast sphere ceases, the target falls down, unless it was flying, taking falling damage as normal. That's pretty awesome. Wait, so it it was flying, taking falling damage as normal. That's pretty awesome. Wait, so it takes falling damage and then falling damage? Wow.

Well, it would take more falling damage if there was no ceiling. Because it would take 50 feet of falling damage. All right, so it's going to go up 25 feet, hit its head, and then come down? Yeah. So it's going to take damage hitting the ceiling as well, right? Yeah, so you round down, right? So it would be 2d6 each way? Yeah, so 4d6.

Wow. You know what? I'm feeling generous, since there's an extra6 each way? Yeah, so 4d6. Wow. You know what? I'm feeling generous since there's an extra 5 feet. Go ahead and roll 5d6. Oh. That's a cool spell. It's a total.

That is a very cool spell. That's great. 21 points of damage. That's great. Wow. Airgeyser. And I'm guessing it's prone. I'm just guessing it's prone.

It fell. It fell fell It fell from the sky If you take falling damage you are prone That is a rule in the book Nice Well done That's a cool spell wasn't it Bottle cap Bottle cap

Easiest way to get him Eagle gobble Google goggle troy did did just join in either the chant he said it three times i did three bottle caps you get three bottle caps i'm trying to put like something on him so you know he's prone and i accidentally just put out the x as if you killed him all right so that means that little ghostbusters sign means that he is prone. Beautiful. Alright. And I'm in the room. And you are in the

proverbial room, as it were. The rum. You're in the rum. If you had passed your reflex save, you would have taken the damage, but not in getting blasted up near. Hmm. From around the corner comes a new combatant to enter the fray.

This combatant moves right up near both Baron Ashpeak and Feyraza Alsaid. Man, I wish there was a way I could hit both you guys with one attack. I wish I had... Oh, here it is. We're in town. We're going to Cleveland. Oh, no. You have greater cleave? No.

Or just cleave? I just have cleave. Okay. And there is a brazier in the way. I think that means you catch on fire and run away. I definitely catch on fire. Great. I am going to swing at Feyraza, the squishier one first.

If that hits, then I will attempt to cleave through to Baron. First attack on Feyraza is 17. That is a miss. Yes. Awesome. Am I going to get the Twanzoni? Wait, no. If you miss the first one, you don't get the Twanzoni.

Do not collect go. Do not collect do it. Do not collect Go. Do not collect $200. Do not collect... I will not collect Go. Don't collect Go. Never do it. Piss and Vinegar swing straight through Furry Raza. Does not even come close.

Probably because he's on fire. It's probably because he's on fire. Joe, that's a great observation. Yeah. Pembroke, you sense danger. I will say that you were able to cast mirror image in the previous round. So you now can act.

Oh, great. So I got seven images. So that's awesome. He'll be around for a long time. You're a frontline fighter now. That's right. So Pembroke steps up and he casts haste on his companions. He sure does. Grantaste on his companions. He sure does.

Grant has lost his mind. Oh, man. Now, Pembroke is a real tank. Haste. That's right. Okay. That's fair. And it is the next round.

It's round two. Aaron, you are within reach of two giants. K.O. to fire away and take two Cyclops. Five percent back this way. Okay. Still within range. Toward the door. Back toward the door.

Of the Cyclops and the Frost Giant. This is like a classic chess position. They both have ten feet of reach. You moved away from one Cyclops, but still put yourself in danger of the two other giants. What do I do, Troy? I'd say run to the middle of the room and open this fight up a little bit. Yeah. Let's really explore the space.

Why not? Maybe run towards those darker portions that I haven't revealed yet. Throwing out some ideas. What do you think, Troy? Oh, man, that's classic Lork behavior. So can your frost giant swing his axe from the prone position? That is an excellent question. That's a good question.

Yes, he can. He takes a penalty. Yeah, a minus 32, Troy. That cannot be right. Aaron, knowing that Frost Giants or prone characters receive a bonus there, I see, but then realizing he's a giant and doesn't give a good goddamn. We'll take a rapid shot, full attack action, at the risk of breaking his gun, but it's already down

to 6 HP. So why not? Alright, so, but wait, can't you just spend a grip point to fix it? No. No, it's not broken yet. Yes, it is. It's misfired. Oh, I could, but... You misfired. I could, but I just want to get off as much damage as I can. Okay.

Because it's already switched. Because it's not like a swift action? It's so low HP, if they go and attack at the next round, it'll be totally out of combat anyway, right? Right, but what I'm saying is... No, I can use it as a move action, and then I get one shot off, and then I take two attacks. Got it, got it, got it. But you're not going to quick clear? I'm not quick clear. That's what we're saying, yeah, he's not going to quick clear.

So if you roll another misfire, it explodes Uh-huh Okay Because he thinks it's gonna get destroyed anyway by your sunder Your next sunder Let me just roll my two attacks of opportunity Okay First the frost

Do you know you're negative for the frost? I do It's very, very low chance to hit unless I roll like an F of 20 or something It's happened It's happened in the past 22 to hit That is not a hit Alright, Cyclops turn Okay It's happened. It's happened in the past. 22 to hit. That is not a hit.

All right. Cyclops turn. Okay. He reaches over four bears to make this attack. Over four bears. I'm enraged. Hold on. Enraged.

He takes out your ankle, buddy. You don't have ankles anymore. You're probably right. Slice him right off. You're probably right. I'm going to give myself the prone condition, Troy. Good. Thank you. Just to keep it real While Troy's looking this up

Sorry 29 to hit 29 is not a hit Wow 29 is not a hit Alright now it's the Cyclops Cyclops really Surprisingly rolls a 30

What a surprise let's see here no 22 to yeah let me just make sure yes they are the Giants okay yeah all right fire away first was a natural 18 we're to let this first one go normally because I didn't say any thing. We shouldn't be allowed in public. It's very late. It is very late. We're talking about 24 points of damage on the first shot. All right.

So Frosty takes 24. We're getting up close and deadly. You guys are. We're getting up close and deadly on the next attack. Okay. We're talking another natty 18 on the die. Oh, God. Shocker.

There you go. And we're talking 37 points of damage on the next shot. What? Wow. Sweet as money. Next shot is going to be up close and deadly. Oh, son of a gun. We're talking, I hope it's a hit.

It's an 18 against Touch AC. Get out. Just stop it, Grant. Just stop it. Okay. Yeah, it's a Cyclops Rogue. He has evasion. It's an incorporeal.

31 points of damage on that attack. Nice. God, okay. The final attack. You're still going, huh? Here's the misfire Up close and deadly Zony

If this misfires it's still It's worth it Natural 17 on the die What a ballsy turn So that's 3 You count that die that went Halfway across the room No, I'm taking that one

Joe just threw That's 9 plus 7 I threw it back And it was a 6, bro Oh, damn Oh, damn. Oh, man. 41 points of damage.

He dead. Get that grip point back. Oh, my God. Wow. That's amazing. The man with the broken gun. I'm sorry. You can add eight points of damage onto that because I forgot I had the Judgment of Sacred Destruction. Yeah, he's very, very dead.

Wow. Oh, so now very, very dead. Wow. Oh, so now it's a closed coffin funeral. That's what that eight points represents. That's what that eight points represents. Really just went right for his face. I mean, you've got to give it to Baron, man. I mean, with the broken gun, he's still in one round. One round. Awesome.

One round. With a little help from Feyraz, of course. You got to take the risk sometimes. I did fling him up in the air. Yeah. No, I know. And he fell. The proneness helped a ton.

Yeah, the 5d6 was no joke. But you know what the Cyclops doesn't have? Improved Sunder. Yep, that's right. Yeah. That's right. Cool. That's huge.

He does, however, have cleave. And technically, you, Baron, and four bears are adjacent and within his reach. So there are two Cyclopses right now. I think this is important for the listeners. There's one by the brazier who I moved away from and towards four bears, and there is one that is next to on the other side on the uh the first one that uses insight on four bears yeah so metagaming wise don't forget that other cyclops still has an insight yes yes that is very very important um poop on a stick this is always uh

always tough to uh fight highlevel characters such as yourselves. But I'm going to go ahead and... God, see, even trying to cleave, if I go after four bears with that high AC, I got nothing. Okay. I'm going to go ahead, standard action, and attempt to cleave because I can always roll high. So first attack is going to be on four bears. If I hit, I get the second attack.

Come on, neon green. 23. Nobody. Yeah. Nobody. All right. And so. Breaks off with the shield.

After that, he will move away and incur an attack of opportunity from four bears if you have a weapon drawn. He does. Yeah, he does. So he'll take a swing with his mace. 28 to hit. Yeah, 28's going to hit. Nice. All right.

And he does... Put the hurt on him. He does a measly nine points of damage. Nine points of damage, and the Cyclops has moved back into the room towards the double doors. Keep in mind, if you don't have darkvision, he is in darkness.

And it is Forbear's turn. It is Forbear's turn. All right. So this creature flees away from him. In that case, he is going to turn and go to the other Cyclops and intercede between Feyraza and that Cyclops to protect her. Yes, he will provoke. Not that it will matter unless I roll that 20.

Natural 20. Come on. Natural 20. Come on. Next to impossible. That's an automatic confirm, man. Don't roll that die. Are you out of your mind?

Oh, flash of insight. Flash of insight. Look at this. Look confirm, man. Don't roll that die. Are you out of your mind? Oh, flash of insight. Flash of insight. Look at this. Look at this man. Thanks, Joe. I'm just saying. Thanks, buddy. You would have been pissed.

All about that. You would have been pissed. Everybody would have been like, four bears should be dead. Blah, blah, blah. I just get so excited. All right, so yeah, flash of insight for an automatic 20.

Does he have a name? Well, actually, I'll tell you right now. 33? No. Well, no, a natural 20 well actually i don't know if it automatically i think two natural 20s is a confirm in my games yes yes in your games but your games are stupid i know well this is a no one listens or watches this would be a reason not to use the flash of insight because a 33 isn't going to hit you. Right, it still doesn't hit. Yeah, and I think rules as written, a natural 20 on a natural 20 is not an automatic confirm. Yeah, you have to hit the AC of the creature to confirm.

Yeah. So, all right, I can see that. Yeah, I'm going to hold off on the Flash of Insight. I appreciate you thinking of me, but it wouldn't be prudent. I will, however, roll exploding dice. Oh, well, actually, even if I roll a 20, it doesn't be prudent. I will, however, roll exploding dice. Oh, well, actually I can roll, even if I roll a 20. Doesn't matter. Man, you are uncredible with these guys. So here comes an exploding dice hit.

No explosions. 22 points of damage. That's still a lot of damage. It took 37 and 22 and now you are up in the light against this Cyclops who still has his lot of damage. It's a lot of damage. It took 37 and 22. And now you are up in the light against this Cyclops, who still has his flash of insight. Okay.

Then Four Bears is going to just try to swing at this guy with his mace. Yeah, just keeping it simple. He's trying to do more of guy with his mace. Yeah, just keeping it simple. He's trying to do more of the defensive tactics right now. So that is a 36. Oh, yeah. And he does max damage, 13 points of damage. Do you want to talk about what this ancestor running bear gave you? Yes, yes, yeah, which is, I guess, it's called Spirit of the Warrior.

I had mentioned it before as many warriors, but if you read the actual text, it says you gain the spirit of a great warrior ancestor allows it to possess you, becoming a mighty warrior yourself. You get a plus four to strength, dexterity,

and constitution, and a plus four to your AC. Wow, that's better than rage. And you gain the improved critical feat with your weapon. Wow. With a weapon of your choice. Wow. So I have chosen this weapon.

What level spell is that? It is an ability of the class of the archetype, but you have to be 11th level to take it, so it's brand new. And you get it for one round for every two but you have to be 11th level to take it, so it's brand new. And you get it for one round for every two levels you have. So you can do it five rounds a day. Wow. So that's two rounds.

He's had it on. Awesome. Yeah, so it's two rounds. I'm glad you used it on the first enemies we saw in this hallway. Well, no, I mean, when that goes, you know, when they have melee weapons like that, it's just like, I'm just going to throw it on there because it's going to make me unhittable. Right.

You know? But I can always just flick it off. Are you close to reaching the maximum dexterity bonus of your armor with this? I have no armor. Oh, right. Yeah. Cool. My armor is all spirits as well.

I have a spirit shield. Nice. Like, it's all, you know, your ancestors protecting you. I want you to do my taxes. Great loophole. Yeah. The Shaman Speaker for the Past Archetype. It's very cool.

Speaker of the Dead. Very cool. Feyraza, you're up. Feyraza's going to take a five-foot step back. Okay. And then yesterday in game time, Four Bears gave Feyraza, I can't remember what the ability was called,

but basically he gave Feyraza... He cast a spell called Imbue Hex. That's what it was. And I am possessed of his evil eye. Still. So Farazza is going to evil, because it's permanent until discharged. It is permanent until discharged. Oh, wow.

So I'm going to evil eye the Cyclops that forebears is currently in melee. Oh, that's really evil. He only has one eye. What is the save? Is it my save or my wisdom bonus or your wisdom bonus? I would say it's yours. DC 19 will save oh boy cyclops are so willful uh oh made it 22 okay so i believe that's for one round yep minus four

two attack rolls there you go there you go son of a bitch! Son of a bitch! All right. You moved yourself back already there? Did I? Yes. What a sassy response. Did I? Wow. This is... What do you got, LaValle?

Yeah, it's his turn. This little pickle here that you put him in. This little light of mine. I had the same thought. Quick question. Yeah. Did anybody else in the longhouse hear the gunshots? Yeah, I should have cast silence.

That just went off? No, they have silence cast on the whole thing, just like the temple. Yeah, sure, it's fine. Sure, it's fine. Sure, it's fine. Just quietly step out of the door and close it. They'll never know. You really should have done that before you even knocked on the door.

Well, this is what I would say. This is how I would rule it in my game. Because the guns are extremely rare in this world. It's the sound of a gun going off. No one would ever have heard it before, so no one would say, like, oh, there's a gun going off. I better go check it out. They'd be like, that's a strange sound.

I have no idea what the implications are. So I'll just sit here reading my book. Take a few rounds. Sounds like thunder. Storms coming in. Like a small bit of thunder somewhere in the house. Just reading Frost Giant Monthly Illustrated.

Back to the Scare God review. Probably just a wagon backfiring. Would you look at that? Hey honey, did you see this? The forge burned down. Matthew deserves a bottle cap for that joke. I hope Flamie's right. Hey, honey, you see this? The forge burned down. Matthew deserves a bottle cap for that joke. I hope Flamie's okay. Troy talked over it, though, so it never happened. Jeepers, should I take two attacks that miss four bears?

Sounds like a wagon backfire. Or back up and incur an attack of opportunity that will most definitely hit? Decisions, decisions. For the record, dispelling that ability, the Spirit of the Warrior, does make him slightly more hittable. I know. I understand. It's not like you're totally unhittable, but, like, the Frost Giant was the muscle in the

room here. Okay. Well. That's actually funny, because to me, Cyclops seems so much scarier. But, yeah, you're right. We saw them a lot sooner than we saw Frost Giants. Yeah, we saw. We were, like, fourth level or fifth level when we fought Cyclops seemed so much scarier. But yeah, you're right. We saw them a lot sooner than we saw Frustrate. Yeah, we saw... We were like fourth level or fifth level when we fought Cyclops.

Something like that. Well, the thing is, you're literally unhittable without a 20. No, I think we were seventh. They were seventh. I remember the day we recorded that episode. It was at your house up in Massachusetts. Oh, yeah. That was up at the Cape, yeah.

Well, Power Attack is not on. I'm just going... You know what? Let's just cut the crap here. I'm just going... You know what? Let's just... Let's just cut the crap here. Can we cut the crap for a second? Yeah. Cut his mic.

I'm afraid what he's going to say. I'd like to cut the crap for a moment and grapple four bears. Oh. There you go. Which will provoke. Okay. So go ahead and take your attack of opportunity. I'm going to take your measly attack of opportunes

Uh Miss Miss Alright Oh wait Unless an 18 hits I'm sure an 18 misses I'm sure it does not

Alright CMB against CMD You have a minus 4 I have a minus 4 Damn it Still probably gonna hit Yeah Natural 20

Oh Come on Holy shit Come on On fire Wait Why didn't you attack? Yeah I know going to hit. Natural 20. Wow, you are on fire. Why didn't you attack? Yeah, I know. You also have a flash of insight still, don't you? Yeah. But there's no critical on a

combat maneuver, which is so strange since it is an attack roll. But you are grappled. Brutal! And I just wasted a 20. Or did I? No, that's pretty good. That's pretty good, LaValle. Go ahead and put the grapple condition on. It is Pembroke's turn. All seven

of you. Alright, Pembroke is... I don't want to, like, go use too much good stuff here. I mean, we just got here. I want to we've just got here. I want to ease into this a little bit.

But I am going to, well, I'm going to go ahead and use Magic Missile on the Cyclops that's grappling four bears. Ah, okay. That is 18 points of damage. Beautiful. All right, we're going to the next round. Baron.

Baron is going to spend one grit point to quick clear his gun as a move action, and then as his standard action, we'll cast silence on the Cyclops. He can most certainly see down the hallway because he has darkvision, Troy. DC 16

will negate. Silence on the Cyclops Natty 18. Oh, come on. What a natural bullshit. I don't believe you. Does anyone believe Troy? Was that all you wanted to do this round?

That's all I can do. I think in a 30 foot radius though, well No. If you had cast it on the doors or something, then he would have been able to Alright. So sorry. I'm so sorry that that didn't work out for you like everything else. Everything's coming up Milhouse. Everything's coming up Milhouse.

He's coming up Milhouse. It is that Cyclops turn, though. Oh, they're working. He's mad at you. You know what? It works so well on Four Bears, he's going to attempt to grapple Baron. Getting creative, Troy. I'm getting spicy over here. Trying some new tactics.

Oh, oh, shit! Missed the old baron, did you? Natural one. Oh, well. That's a fumble on an attack roll, I think. No, it wouldn't be a crit, so it wouldn't be a fumble.

All right, well, that's convenient for you. Can I ask a question, though? What would your maximum possible roll on that be? If you rolled a 20, what would your highest score be? 35. Just barely. You would have had to roll a natural 20 to grab that. Yeah, I figured it was pretty high, but I was willing to take the chance.

And more importantly, I wanted to get right up in your business. Uh-huh. And it's four bears, Trey. Four bears, you are grappled. Yeah. Jeez. Uh, and it's Four Bears turn. Four Bears, you are grappled. Yeah, um, jeez. Four Bears is going to... Man, he's struggling against this. This is frustrating.

Grrr! Uh, I don't really know... I don't know what to do here. Um, now, you can attack... Like, he can attack with his mace, right? Just at a penalty. Yeah, and the penalty... It doesn't have to can attack with his mace, right? Just at a penalty Yeah, and the penalty It doesn't have to be a light weapon to attack, right?

No, that's when you're swallowed whole Except you're, like, swallowed whole, yeah Um Jeez I just don't know if trying to break out makes any sense At all Escape artist? What's your escape artist at, bro? Yeah, I'm a really good escape artist

I'm just making sure Minus one I just met your character, Joe My escape artist at, bro? Yeah, I'm a really good escape artist. I'm just making sure. Minus one. I just met your character, Joe. My escape artist is at negative one. Man. Grappled is a tough, tough condition. All right, he's just going to go ahead and...

He's going to try to evil eye this guy. Oh, okay. I don't see why he can't do to evil eye this guy. Oh, okay. I don't see why I can't do an evil eye, right? Sure, you can see him. While I'm grappled? I don't see why not. All right, so I'm going to do an evil eye. DC 17 will save.

DC 17 will save. Made it. 17 on the knob. Okay. He's going to reduce your saving throws by four. Okay. And then, uh, as a move equivalent action, while you're grappling him, he's going to, again, like, just... Scream in your face, uh, acting as a cackle. And he will extend both, extend both of those hexes.

Awesome. Nice. Awesome. So the one that Matthew put on him and the one that I put on. Cool. Okay, keep me honest to those because I got a lot going on.

Sure. I don't even know if it's honest to say that I extend Matthew's hex, but... That's a good question. I'm going to say I do. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what.

It's not in the rules. So you don't get it. Well, I'm going you what. It's not in the rules. So you don't get it. Well, I'm going to tell you what. It's not in the rules. So I'm going to say it works. The text of Cackle does not specify that it has to be your hex. That's true. It says any creature that is under the effects of an hex.

I'm sorry, an agony hex, but an hex. An historical moment. Right. That is very old fashioned. Any creature that is within 30 feet and under the effects of an evil eye hex gets an extended. Oh.

Wow. You got me, O'Brien. Hold on. Hold on a second. This guy totally nerfed by Bane Baldrick and he's giving you that? What an asshole. That's a good one.

It does say any hex. I'll allow it. All right. Yeah. All right. Yeah. All right. Faye Raza, you're up. Faye Raza. Bottle cap.

Bottle cap. Bottle cap for Troy. Yay. Finally. Faye Raza is going to reach down to her wrist. Actually, as a free action. Check the time. Yeah.

Yes. Look at her. Oh, time action. Just search the Frost Giant's body. It's a sundial. Check the time. Yeah. Yes. Look at him go. Time action. Search the Frost Giant's body. It's a sundial. It's not working. I got a hard out at 1030. As a free action,

Farazza is just going to flex, and all of a sudden, a host of wooden thorns are going to burst from her skin. Oh, cool. And give her some bramble armor. Yeah. Free action.

You are woodsy. I'm woodsy. That's a free action to cast that? Yep. Is that spell? Nope. It's an ability. Oh, my.

It's awesome. It's a natural ability. Oh, you saw me, baby. She sees people getting grappled. Smart. Wait, that's a class ability that you've never done before? Yeah, because I'm very often not melee. Right.

Wow, that's awesome. And then I'm going to reach out to my wrist and pull a berry off of the verdant vine I'm wearing. Verdant vine? Oh, I remember this. You got this a while ago. And I'm going to toss it. I can throw it up to 30 feet away. And I'm going to toss it kind of over the Cyclops' head, the one that is grappling with four bears. Okay.

And vines are going to erupt from it, and you roll a reflex to see if you're entangled. Do you have to hit any AC to throw it? I mean, you roll the reflex. You roll the reflex. Oh, just to see what square it lands in? Yeah, yeah. It's AC five. Yeah, but do you have dark vision?

Yeah. Okay, so. I'm throwing in the light anyway. All right, so throw for AC five. Just for shits and gigs. I mean, I get it automatically, but. No, the natural one, you don't. Natural one. Natural 15. Oh, okay. All right, so throw for AC5. Just for shits and gigs. I mean, I get it automatically. No, the natural one you don't. Natural one.

Natural 15. Oh, okay. All right, so it goes over there. What's my reflex save? DC 16. And which one is this? The one that's grappled four bears or the one that went after Baron? The one that's grappled with four bears.

The one who has a minus four to its saving throws. Oh, that's what I'm talking about. Team work 19, baby. With the minus four? Yes. Wow. All right, you're fine. It's so weird that you would I'm talking about. Team work 19. Baby. With the minus four? Yes. Wow. All right, you're fine. So weird that you would lie about your roll.

Reflex save plus four, so it evens out natty 19. Oh, man. What? It only had a plus four? Oh, you had to roll a natty 19. Natty 19 to roll 20. That's my turn. All right, yeah.

My Cyclops are getting some juice in there. It is that Cyclops' turn, as a matter of fact. What to do here? Swallow hole. Swallow hole. I was going to say, what do you do now? I'm going to go and swallow hole. You got a big old forebear's grapple.

Well, what I'm thinking of doing is trying to maintain the grapple, which I get a plus five to, and then throwing you in the brazier, which you will get a plus four bonus to try and escape, which you feel pretty confident about. No, I feel confident I won't make that. You won't make that, yeah. So whatever you envision happening here is probably going to happen. I'm thinking about throwing you right in the fire. This is payback for the brewery fright.

This is what he's trying to do. He's trying to redeem himself. This is a redemption song. He's Bob Marley. We're in the audience. Play it, Troy. Can I ask you what your CMD is? You may ask.

I will not respond. I see. That's fair. Confront him with that obstacle. That's fair. I'm trying to decide if i want to use my flash of insight on the attempt to maintain the grapple uh i mean yeah troy i think it's foolish i have a pretty high and the plus five these things are gonna die before he uses the insight Ah, glad I held on.

36. Yeah, you got it. So he maintains the grapple and attempts to throw you in the fire. So I can remember this is how Lork got in the catapult. Right. Same exact rule. You're right next to it. So I try to place you in a square adjacent. If it's hazardous, you have a free attempt to break the grapple at a plus four bonus against my CMD.

Now, can we make this fun? Sure. If you go in, you automatically die. What's your CMD? I can't tell you that. Come on, you can. I believe I just asked you the same question. What, do you think a bunch of people are going to do

combat maneuver checks against you? I want to know if it's even possible. I guess this one guy. I want to know if the roll matters. Right. Okay, that's fair. I want to know if it's even... I guess this one guy. I want to know if the role matters. Right. Okay, that's fair. I want to know if the role matters. Maybe next time I ask you your CMD, you'll tell me.

All right. So as a gift to you. I thought you were going to say, let's put up our pink slips for our cars and the tail for this role. Racing for... But family means everything. This is Fast and Furious.

I don't want Troy's car. It couldn't start today. Let the light on. The light on. It's kind of messed up on one side, too. It is 26. Okay, it's hittable. It's hittable.

Escapable. Escapable, some might say. Here we go. Come on, four bears. Oh, struggle three breakouts. Five bears. Oh, he did it. Yeah. Come on. Yeah. I'm sorry. for your breakout. Five bears. Oh, he did it. Yeah.

27. Come on. Yeah. I'm sorry, plus four, it's 31. God. Yeah. Yeah, baby. Burst.

Burst free. All right, so I imagine you just like, gah. Gah. And you stand right there. And he does at least one D10 damage on the way out. That's nine, dude. Unbelievable. Nine damage.

Wow. Unbelievable. You got greedy, Le. Nine damage. Unbelievable. Wow. Unbelievable. You got greedy, LeValley. I got greedy. That was awesome. It is Pembroke's turn. Oh, man. Shit, that was good. Yeah.

That was good. All right. Yeah, I'm just gonna go ahead and fire up another magic missile. Yeah, at the same guy. Okay. 15. 15 damage. All right, chip, chip, chip, chip Fire off another magic missile. Yeah, at the same guy. At the same guy. Okay. Shit. 15. 15 damage. All right.

Chip, chip, chip, chip it away. New round. Baron. It really doesn't matter what your name is or which way Baron steps because these guys have reach. Yeah, yeah. But you feel pretty confident. I'm going to take...

I'm going to stay in my ground. I'm going to get up close and confident. I'm going to take, I'm going to stay on my ground. I'm going to get up close and deadly. I'm going to rapid shot. Right there where you're standing? Right at your Cyclops. Okay. Attack of opportunity, would you like? Yeah, in fact, I'm going to take two attacks of opportunity,

because they both have reach. They both have that much reach? They have ten feet of reach. Is that guy ten feet away from you that just attacked four bears? You tell me. Is he? Then he can attack through four bears square. Two squares away?

I'm asking you a rhetorical question. He's diagonally two squares away, which is more than 10 feet. Five. 10, 15. It's 15. Yeah, it's 15. Okay. All right. All right. You win this round. Just one attack. That's a 20. Let's see. Nope. Miss. All right. Here we 20. Let's see. Nope. Miss.

All right. Here we go. We're getting up close and deadly. Still could misfire and explode. That is a 20 against Touch AC. That's going to be a hit so. It's Zony. Great. You forgot the Zony. You forgot the knee.

It hit so. 28 points of damage on the first attack. 28 points of damage. Okay. Second attack. That's a hit Sony, bro. Gross. Gross.

That's 33 points of damage on the second attack, bro. Still kicking. The third attack. We're talking a hit Sony, bro. Stop. Stop. We're losing listeners. That's 34 points of damage, Sony.

All right. Last attack. Hold on one second. 34 damage. I will tell you this. Add six points onto that because I forget I have the sacred healing on. He is below zero. All right, got to hit point, Sony.

Back, bro. But he is standing there staggered, and in that moment, you recognize the same ferocity with which the orcs fought. Yes. Back at the siege of Trunel. Cyclopean ferocity. Cyclopean ferocity. Wow. You know what Baron

does? Just like Polyphemus in the cave against brave Odysseus. He's just standing there more combat-sized. Was Odysseus really brave in that moment? No. Clever Odysseus. Four bears turns to you, he says. Clever. Right up until the end. Yeah, right. And Baron looks at four bears right in the eyes and said,

Oh, I intend to. And I got seconds coming up, brother. Misfire. Yeah! Yeah! But without close and deadly, still half of the precision damage hits. How can you be so casual about this?

Your gun just exploded. Your gun is permanently destroyed forever. I sit around quick clearing. Oh, so it's not... No destroyed forever. I cleared it around. Quick clearing. Oh, so it's not. No, no. He cleared it before. Did you remember when I took that turn to quick clear? I did.

There's a lot going on. So how much damage for the graze? Six points of damage. And that kills him. Yeah! All right. The graze is an enemy. Well, it was his turn.

It is now. Actually, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's three points of damage because it's half the precision damage, right? Half the precision damage. It's fine. You had him. That was very, very good.

It is Four Bear's turn. There is one Cyclops left, and you now know that they are ferocious. This one has taken some damage, though. Yeah. The one that I'm fighting has taken some damage. He's also got a minus four to save. He's got a minus four to a lot. And he has minus four to hit and saves, but not a C, unfortunately.

Yeah, the cackle keeps it going. Shoot. All right. Yeah, he's just going to fight away. He's going to swing away. All right. So first attack misses. Second attack, 25 to hit.

That'll hit. That'll play. That'll play. And he does six points of damage. And then third and final hit is an 18 to hit. Get out of here with that. So he's fighting defensively. He's just trying to keep its attention.

All right. Feyraza, what do you got? Feyraza is going to negate aroma. No, she's going to hold. She's going to negate aroma. There is a lot of smells in this room. You can tell it's some sort of preparation room where they prepare feasts. That's what that big cauldron is in the back.

Oh, wow. It is the officer's mess. All sorts of weird smells. Huh. It is its turn. He's been so successful. I mean, I just have a bevy of options with which to choose from here.

I want to use my flash of insight before it's all over, but the two characters that are standing up front are impervious to my crits. I'm sorry, I just said that earlier this episode you were going to die before you could use that insight. Oh no. Boom!

I know, I know. You know what though? I'm gonna go ahead and use the Flash of Insight to natural 24 bears and then try to confirm the crit. Ooh. Unconfirmed. Yeah. But sweet.

It is exploding dice. Dizzoni. No. Nope. Nope. Matthew doesn't like that. No. You can't use that word. What is that one going to be? He spins. God. Snake eyes. Yeah. Really? All right. Awesome. It's still going to be spins. God, Snake Eyes. Yeah. Really? All right.

Awesome. It's still going to be 23 points of damage. Damn, I had no joke. Four Bears just boom, boom. Four Bears has taken the brunt of all these attacks. Taken a lot of hits. But that might be his last action. I don't know.

Pembroke, what do you got? Man, I hate using all my... I'm just going to delay because I want to... That's what I'm doing. Yeah. Yeah, it's not a bad idea. As long as we keep... I'm starting to feel like it's World of Warcraft

in the sense that you're like, just keep Baron alive. Keep this thing off Baron. And then on Baron's turn, he'll take it out and we don't use up our resources. Right. I don't want to use all my mana. For a long fight, yeah.

Anyone in this building has heard in this room, they have to wonder like, I don't want to use all my mana. For a long fight, yeah. Anyone in this building has heard in this room, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. They have to wonder, like, what are they cooking in there? Right. Just something to think about. Those are some popcorn. Popcorn. Popcorn.

Giant-sized kernels. Galadras is back. Baron, you are up. New round. Shit. I don't. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. I know, but my gun, I don't want it to explode now

Pop Pop You gonna live your whole life in fear You should be scared of everything Baron is going to Grant you never roll low You're fine What are the chances

Baron is going to drop His Della Fine. Yeah, you've never done it. What are the chances? It's going to slow. Baron is going to drop his... Pants. Della. His double beard pistol. He's going to quick draw his dragon's breath firearm. In order to, with haste, still be able to take two attacks. Okay.

According to this anyway, but I don't have rapid reload on it, so I'm not sure how that works. So we can just take one. But it would be... It's so confusing. I'll just take one. I'll just take one. Now, you moved up there. That looks like it's within reach.

But don't you also hit forebears? Isn't that a spread weapon? With a cone, could I do it? Well, this has grinded the episode to a halt. So yes, Baron's going to move up Five feet directly that way And I think the cone when I'm right next to you Would avoid hitting it I'm going to incur a tag of opportunity

So the cone will not hit For Baron Here comes the miss from the great axe Definitely a miss Sweet dude Good job We're talking about a hit Sony. That is 18 points of damage.

We ruined it. Okay. Still alive. And that's it. Yeah. I just wanted to save the grip point. I didn't want to spend it on quick clearing that gun. I wanted to continue to do damage.

That's where I am. Four bears. You approved your bravery to them. If not in the fights previous to this, certainly by now, by standing there as a human shield against these giants. Baron has been the main damage dealer, with Pembroke peppering in and Feyrasa being weird as usual. Accurate.

What would you like to do in this situation as this Cyclops bears down on you? Oh, man, this is tough. You've matched strengths with a giant! Yes. Four Bears is going to use a swift action to enact Bane on his weapon. And giant

Bane his weapon. And then do his best to try to chip away at this guy. He can do it. Okay. He can do it. Okay. He can do it. He just has to roll pretty well.

And actually, no. He's going to continue to fight defensively because I just... He's getting low on hit points. Like, it's adding up. So first attack is a 27. That'll hit. 27 to hit. And he does

snake eyes on the goddamn bane. He does 9 points of damage. Oh no. Second attack is a miss. I needed to hit that one. And then third attack is a miss.

Oh man. Snake eyes on the Bane deck. Snake eyes. Box guys. Box guys. Feyraza, you're up. She's going to delay again. Delay.

Delay. Van delay industries. All right. It is his turn, and he will meagerly attempt a cleave here against four bears and Baron, and most likely miss. First attack was a 19, so that is a miss on four bears. Yeah, that's going to be a miss. Boom!

Right off the shield. Pembroke, you're up. You know what? I think I am actually going to use one more magic missile on this guy. Nice. So let me get that ready. And that is 19 points of damage. 19 points of damage.

You have taken him below zero. All right. He is staggered and ready to drop. Let's do this. Finish him. Barrett. Let's do this. Finish him. Let's drop the hottest album of the summer. It's called Dwarves Kill Cyclopses.

It's a 19 on the die. We are talking about 16 points of damage. Do you walk in and close the doors immediately? Yeah, it's going to go. Or close the doors. Yeah, we pull in and close the doors. And then we lock them from the inside so we can't get out later.

Yes. You come in, you bar the doors. No. And. Yes. No, no, no. Permanently. There is silence.

We tip the brazier. Tip the brazier. We slow roast one of the giants over. We light the door on fire. The fire starts spreading throughout the room. Tip the brazier. We slow roast one of the giants over. We light the door on fire. The fire starts spreading throughout the room. Now our only way... We flogged our spartan way. Our only way is in.

We barred the door and lit it on fire. In a windowless room. We swore we would never leave. Chose the spartan way. We burned our ships at the beach. You came into the longhouse from the western door attempting

to impersonate a giant. Yes. You opened the door. They had the jump on you. Oh yeah. They saw through your roofs, you think. Oh. So they let us come in. But it wasn't enough. Those Cyclops were ready to come and

get you. Frost Giant dead. Two Cyclops dead. You now see this room stretches pretty far into the back. You can see the whole length of the chamber now. Oh. Whoa.

There are a set of double doors leading to another chamber. You've let off a lot of noise and burned some valuable resources because you know there's really no turning back now that you're in the longhouse.

Everybody roll a perception check. 21. 29. check. 21. 29. 26. 20. Wow, that's low for us. So those of you without dark vision, it might take a second for you. All the perception checks were high enough.

But your eyes start to adjust to the room, especially those areas that are lit by the braziers and that big fire pit and the cauldron atop the fire pit. You see that it's filled with a hearty stew. But as you walk closer to inspect it, you realize that the meat is from scrawny humanoid slaves. This is where they do it. Arms, hands, legs, and faces melting in the pot.

Awful. We'll see you next week. Oh, man. These guys got to go. Oh, man. I am fired up right now. God, I want to play another one right now. Let's do it.

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