The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 184 - Lance Lance Retribution

Episode Date: December 4, 2018

The larger picture begins to come into focus as the party plunges headlong into the waiting darkness. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. Pembroke, like, he raises, he's like coughing and gagging and he pulls a handkerchief to his face. The heroes stumble into an appalling scene. We open today's episode with all of you in what basically equates to a grotesque meat locker. And begin to realize the true horror of Skirgard. We are complicit in our own destruction. We must stop this at the source. Newly emboldened. As the firelight

is flickering off of Forbear's face, you can see the reflection of like a tear coming down his eye and he's just like, they all must die. And newly empowered. Oh yes. Oh no. Uh oh. Bollards. Sorry Troy. Dungeon breaker. Oh, no. Uh-oh. Sorry, Troy.

Dungeon breaker. They plunge deeper into the mountain. All pitch black. You don't have dark vision, you're just looking into darkness. All right, then Four Bears is going to cast light on a shield. But even greater horrors lurk within. Give me your name. The adventure continues

now. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of the Glass Cannon Podcast. It's your boy, Grant Berger, a.k.a. Baron Ashpeak. I just got back from PAX Unplugged, and boy am I tired. But at the same time i'm really rejuvenated after spending time with the glass cannon nation in philly we had a fantastic meetup at yards brewing company and i got to talk and laugh with friends new and old thanks so much for coming out and bothering to talk with this weird giant and his buddies also thanks a bunch to everyone in the nation who made our games on the floor possible

watching everyone play together makes us all so, so happy. The positivity and smiles I get from hanging out with everyone is what gives me the energy I need to murder all of Troy's monsters. Speaking of killing Troy's monsters, the second ever session of our Glass Cannon Live, Strange Aeon's playthrough also went swimmingly in that sweat house of a convention hall. Thanks to everyone who made the trip out and a special thank you to Mr. Eric Mona for sitting in on the session. Just like LA, this show was filmed and we're

working on getting it online for you all prior to our next live show. And speaking of live shows, tickets are going fast for our upcoming shows in Chicago, Dallas, Portland, Brooklyn and Seattle, so if you plan on going we can't stress this enough. Get your tickets ASAP.

We hope to see you, yes, you, at one or more of these shows, and we promise to make it worth your while. Oh, and if you want to come hang out with just yours truly and some great Texans, please come out to my Dallas Christmas meetup on the 21st of December. It should be at Dots Hop House starting at 7 p.m. At the very least, you can meet my wife, Angel, and pick her brain about why she's married to me. Anyways, the episode. Things are about to go nuts, so without further ado,

please enjoy the Glass Cannon Podcast, episode 184, Lance Lance Retribution. I feel like this is going to be a special episode this week this has got all the markings of a special app what's so special about this episode yeah I really want to know well we are going to be celebrating a level up in Baron

we got to talk about this I totally forgot to do any shopping at all I did zero shopping I feel like a complete ass Baron, we've got to talk about this. I totally forgot to do any shopping at all. I did zero shopping. I feel like a complete ass. Well, I'm glad you brought it up, Skip, because as is tradition, you're supposed to buy the person that leveled up a new item to celebrate it. So what did you get me? I have, well, bought you a new level.

Okay, thank you so much. A level from Home Depot. So you were the one that brought it up. It'll be great for all the picture hanging that we still have to do in the studio. Okay, okay, okay. So we got to celebrate that. I'm excited for that. I'm more excited for this actual level that's getting bought. Well, that'd be great.

I love the little bubbles. We desperately need one. Your iPhones all have a level app now. Oh, that's a good point with your get out of here really yep i don't have it yeah but it's it's hard to just sit your iphone on a picture frame and have it actually yeah it i'm afraid it'll fall and crack my screen there's nothing like replacing a dollar tool with a thousand dollars that's what i love about what steve jobs did to the world that's what we call the American economy.

None of the sci-fi movies from the 80s predicted that we'd have phones that would operate as levels for hanging pictures. Really? I don't remember seeing that. Could you imagine a contractor showing up to your house and saying, Sorry, I forgot to charge my phone. We're going to have to do this tomorrow. He's got a huge tool belt with 50 empty pockets and one iphone aren't there laser levels there are well they're they're laser like room stud finders stud finders yeah don't they have a lot of them have like level functions as well i think so yeah i can't remember yeah i build a lot of things pick carpenter matthew is well we got to talk about grants level jesus oh that's that's that's important and uh i think there's also some stuff things. Pick Carpenter, Matthew is. Well, we got to talk about Grant's level. Jesus. Oh, wow.

That's important. And I think there's also some stuff we got to talk to. We got to air some grievances with Joe O'Brien. Oh, crap. That's my favorite part. Joe, you are getting hammered on the boards, bro. It is Festivus. You hit me with this. As soon as I come in tonight. I know, I get you so mad.

We're coming up on Festivus. That's true. It's time for the airing of Grievances you so mad. It gets me so pissed off. We're coming up on Festivus. That's true. It's time for the airing of Grievances. It is. It is the season. Followed by the feats of strength. For the airing of Grievances. One of our favorite things to do is just when we're about to record.

It really is. We go, hey, Joe, the Reddit's really pounding you today. And he's like, what? What? It was like two comments and one guy said, yeah. I'm like, no, it was like 70 comments. They could have just started a whole new thread about how shitty they think you are at this game. So we're going to talk about that.

And I really feel like this is the app. We're really going to open up what's going on here in the tip. Oh, that is exciting. In the sense that you've gone to the left. You fought the mammoth and the frost giant handler, the undead mammoth. You obviously fought the frost

giant guards, right? When you came in, you went north, took on the frost worms, which almost killed all of you. Came back, took them out, and then took out that necrocraft. By the way, I was saying neocraft all last week. It's a necrocraft. So that whole discussion about Greek and Latin and dramatic roots.

Yep, just out the window. It was still fun, though. I think it was still informative. I could totally see you taking away the experience points I got from that because you mispronounced the monster. I'm so sorry, Grant. I'm sorry, Grant. You're not level 12. You're like one.

If you just kill a couple gnats, you'll get there. So I just feel like going up into the tomb proper here, this is really going to start to open things up and really change Giant Slayer altogether, I think. Interesting. Sorry, go ahead. Let's just jump right in. Let's start with the good news. Grant grant tell me about a 12th level baron i'm assuming the triple classed into

a gunslinger inquisitor rogue gunslinger inquisitor magic man i made up my own class i made up my own class for someone with no imagination. So, Troy, before I tell you anything about the level up I have, we got to roll HP on air, brother. Are you upset that I don't do the grant rule? Depends on how this roll works out. What is it, a D4? D8, buddy.

Okay. D12. Is it really a D12? No. It's a barbarian. It's only a barbarian. It's a D100. Oh, you're going to be just fine. I gave you a six, buddy. There you go. no it's a barbarian it's only a barbarian it's a d100 oh you're gonna be just four i gave you a six buddy there you go there you go two less from the best i'm totally

happy with that all right so at level five i get a bunch of bonuses to my judgment i get my plus two attack bonus instead of plus one plus two ac bonus with my protection plus two save bonus with purity and plus two damage reduction slash magic plus one discern lies is replaced because of my uh my archetype but i now officially have on my character sheet bane so i can use the bane Baldrick as a level 10 Inquisitor. Oh, man. That's going to be Bane. He's going to come back and bite you in the butt. You'll never see 13. I took a really nice flavorful spell.

I was talking to Joe. I was talking to Skid. You were busy looking at your stocks, I think. Yes. And Matthew didn't. Checking my portfolio. Matthew got here. Chopped liver.

Matthew got here at a cool 815. Because he likes to record. He likes to complain about. He's like, what time are we recording? Eight? See you at 815. Yeah. I don't need to sit here and listen to you guys say offensive things into microphones.

That's true. We were ready to record. It's fair. We get it all out of the way before you come. It works for everyone. It works out for everybody. It's good for morale. My new Inquisitor spell.

Oh. Is. Lay it on me. Weapon of awe. Ooh. I love this. I love this. You transform a single.

Is it weapon of awe? Oh, look at that cute weapon. You transform your weapon into a kitty cat. You've got it. You've got it, Instagram. They're cute weapon. You transform your weapon into a kitty cat. You've got to Instagram your weapon. I know. I wish it existed. If I could time travel. Anyway, you transform a single weapon into an awe-inspiring instrument.

The weapon gains a plus two sacred bonus on damage rolls. And if the weapon scores a critical hit, the target, that critical hit, becomes shaken for one round with no saving throw now am i correct that cannot be placed on guns nope you're absolutely wrong and i'm gonna look it up let me tell you this it's a spell but as joe pointed out very astutely people say he doesn't know anything about this game he knows some things just not the important things the protagonist character it's a swift action oh oh swift action so i can throw down a judgment oh boom bam and then uh what is my final my final uh game against you bonus saves obviously but i get my uh buildy score bonus i had a 15 in constitution now i have a 16 12 extra h you'll live forever that is awesome oh that's not true

you curse it how many hp do you have right now yeah at this very moment three weeks ago uh 139 i'm surprised you didn't take toughness i don't have the sheets i will at some point i took toughness four times I thought that was allowed I'm stacking toughness I get a plus 16 To my saves against cold weather Congratulations You earned it

You worked really hard You are the sole survivor Since episode one 184 episodes later Wow Here you are I mean Grant This is impressive

Like worldwide There aren't all that many people that can say they straight up took a character from first to twelfth level. There aren't that many people out there who can shamelessly ask for that much healing. That's true. That takes dedication. I think one has

something to do with the other. You know, I get a lot of questions. I get a lot of questions like, how did you meet Troy, Joe, Matthew, Skid? How did you guys start playing together? What's your recording equipment? What's your motivation for this decision? But the question I want to lay to rest right now, which I have evidence for just 30 seconds prior,

it's why I hate Matthew Kemp. And he can burn in hell with a response like that. There it is. You heard it here first. Classic, David. I think you heard it on the reddit first it is true because uh you know a lot of people don't even get to book four of a book for for god's sake so a lot of people don't even get a chance to get to level 12 no well you did it but with an yeah with an unforgiving gm and uh you know a standard size four-person party for the most part i mean that's that's a big accomplishment and i'll

give troy credit which hurts me so much to say let me close my eyes i kind of got sick as soon as you said i want to take it with my eyes closed so i do think that him yeah he decided right as we turn like level six level seven like guys i really want you to think about multi-classing because i think it'll add a lot to the adventure and i know that in his head he just wanted to kill us more easily because multi-classing kind of gimps your characters unless it's a perfect synergy and the inquisitor uh multi-class path has made baron a better character you've made the podcast proud you've made your family proud. You've made yourself proud. Well, that was abundantly clear.

Yes. God damn it, man. You did it again. You're very prideful. Joe, let's cut over to you real quick. I don't have a lot of time to give you here, but according to the subreddit, which is a grand collection of people

who play the game uh in a different way that we do people to play the game uh a lot a lot more in depth than we do in many ways a lot longer a lot more correctly correctly you could use that word say and there are plenty of trolls on there too that just like to get a rise out of people that's why you don't read it correct um and yet we still make it happen the general consensus you like peeled my eyes open with like a torture device and like put the reddit in front of me like uh like read it clockwork it's just a subreddit scrolling through i'm like the general consensus on this board is how do i put this you don't know how to play Pathfinder. Your thoughts.

Well, I mean, from the brief look that I took at it, I think that there is a certain amount of... What I always come back to is Pathfinder is something that you play however the fuck you want to play it. And in the case of a subreddit for a show like this, you can analyze it however you want to and say whatever you want about however anyone plays it. You know, I mean, that's kind of the freedom of the activity. And the fun of it really is kind of analyzing how other people play and then really internalizing and thinking about how you like to play and then playing that way. I certainly don't want to come to the table doing something I don't want to do.

Right. That doesn't make any sense. And as a GM, I certainly don't want to come to the table doing something I don't want to do. Right. That doesn't make any sense. And as a GM, I think it's important to reinforce that with your players. So if you have a player coming into a game where you have three players and they say, what does everybody need? What do they want to round out the party or make it fit or make it work? I think that there's a lot to be said for just having them play what they want to play. Right.

Because doing that is going to bring more joy to the table and more inspiration for role playing and etc so uh some people just like to play things a certain way now that said some of the comments that i read about four bears specifically is they're you know they're completely like they just don't know they don't know four bears it's they're misinformed and that's not their fault that's like we don't have the ability or capacity to extensively go into the backstories that we've built I know that every one of you guys has stuff that you haven't told me about your characters We don't tell each other much of anything Exactly

I mean we don't want to have these big info dumps Like we want to have it like kind of laid out gradually like naturally organically through the story It's a fun surprise for you too Right exactly it out gradually like naturally organically through the story and it's a fun surprise for you too yeah right exactly and when it comes to something as simple as like four bears is unable to cast six level spells because he doesn't have a 16 wisdom and i had the freedom to give him that if i wanted to at the at the character build uh and i didn't that is because of the character that i was kind of creating and the the idea that i that I had and the backstory that you guys don't know yet. And so that is, to me, it's a fun way to play.

And when somebody's like, it is spectacularly stupid. Like, I certainly understand why, you know what I mean? But it is also, it's just, it's how I want to play. And that it doesn't matter to me how other people think I play. I play the way I want to play. Are you having fun playing? Oh my God, I love this character. I love Four Bears.

And I love this idea of this guy who's caught between two worlds. You know, a warrior, a battle fierce warrior who also has all of these elements of shamanism and these attachments to ancestors that frankly was not really his choice but that just hasn't come out yet and so there's there's a lot to be unfurled uh with this character and frankly i don't think that i need to explain that right now nor nor should i i think that the story should unfold naturally and that the character's build or his points or where they're spent uh is something that uh you know is not going to be perfect because I'm not a perfect player.

You know what I mean? It's like you just you play how you want to play. And I'm with you, Joe. But I do have to say it was unsettling to come into the studio tonight and see you shirtless yelling at your computer. You don't know me. You don't know me. You don't know me. Oh, yeah.

That was awkward. As soon as I read one I don't like, that shirt goes goes off right away that's another reason i don't come till hit but i'm like you like i like putting artificial constraints that i don't have to put on my character for storytelling reasons absolutely like it helps me to get into like i love overcoming that kind of adversity that i feel is justified by who they are yeah i like doing the same thing and this idea was brought up that you you said troy of the storm wind fallacy which i had never heard of and then we looked it up and read it and i was like this is awesome like it's a really neat point of conversation which is that you can't met you

can't min max your character and role play you have to in order to role play a character it has to be a flawed character and that is a fallacy and that's a great uh topic of discussion and we even talked about it on cannon fodder back in the day i don't know if you remember but yeah sure yeah we did like a can you min max and play an interesting and flawed character right and we came to absolutely idea that it's not they're not mutually exclusive no they are either way anyway it either way anyway. Yeah. They are certainly not mutually exclusive. And what I usually do is, I mean, God, there's so many options in Pathfinder when it comes to feats, abilities, the way you can spend your skills, languages, all that stuff. A million options.

And I read maximization guides so that I don't go too far off the rails. But then I just look at stuff that I think sounds neat. Things like Steadfast Mind, the will save to, to maintain a spell after there's a story reason why I like that. And you know, that's, that's, I'm just like,

that's, that sounds fun. You know, right. It is definitely not a super powerful feat by any stretch. But I, I just have so much fun playing that way. And I was saying to skit earlier,

I do this in Pathfinder and at the table with you guys, this is my forum to do that when i play video games i obsessively min max and optimize i will read pages of guides on how to get the an extra point out of strength or damage or my spell power or whatever just because that's fun for me that's really fun for me reading uh guides to maximize my characters but that's when i'm playing alone in a video game where the only thing that matters to me is the uh the combat you know right well i think joe is a moron clearly but an addendum to that is that i think it does make an amazing moment if you hit level 12 and add a point to wisdom or you find like a headband of no no it's business from experience moment if you hit level 12 and add a point to wisdom or you find like a headband of no no it's business from experience no if you if you now he's level 12 so okay here we go no but

if you find a headband of uh luring charisma in the moment it's like a great role-playing moment for you to unlock those extra spells and it's like you accomplish something you went across this journey grant you're stealing my thunder like again this is and no it's not your fault this is the point but i'm not going to say this when i bring the character in at 11th level i don't say like so yeah just so you guys know i have a 15 wisdom and i'm going to put a point in at a 12th level in a role-playing moment that you know what i mean right and to be clear you're putting all our lives at risk by not casting those spells so that you can have a great role-playing moment later just to be clear that is the argument against it and i and it is a good one i'm not going to dispute that well i mean i think at the end of the day

i would agree with everyone on the subreddit so let's move on to the episode yeah let me be let me be clear nobody is wrong on the subreddit either the thing is that that is what they think is fun right it's like picking apart and analyzing a build of a character and i can talk i have i have fun with that in video games you know what i mean like it's a fun thing to do i i get it but that's why you know that's why i play the way when you're playing 10 different characters you can only you pick power attack so many times you can only pick combat expertise for your life okay yeah i want to do something else i want to pick a flavor feed right yeah i want to pick something that gives me just a plus four to my survival you don't think i wanted to pick uh what is it uh uh deep slumber or slumbering hex whatever

it was slumber yeah it's just the slumber hex for this character who has hexes like yeah but i mean that's what our character our witch and jade regent just slumbered every single encounter through the entire game. And so I was like, I'm done with that. You know what I mean? I'm good on that. And you would never choose that. It's Will Save the Gates.

Will the Gates? Yeah, no way. Save or suck. Well, we open today's episode with all of you in what basically equates to a grotesque meat locker. When we ended last week's episode, I hadn't revealed what the room looks like, but you can see right now on Roll20 what we're looking at here. Just cadavers. Chunks of bodies.

Just a day ago, you fought this abomination known as a necrocraft, created under a desecration aura from the scraps of numerous other beings of unknown origin. You think back to that creature that killed Lork, along with his bastardized Orphos Norkene reanimation, which when you returned to the temple, pieces of him yet again were being recycled into some other creation. So you look around this room and you realize that's what's happening here. These are parts for assembling aberrations of horror. This Urgothoa worship that has pervaded the camp, that perhaps supplanted Thremir.

It's like a parts repository. As the primary deity being honored here in Skirgard. Rainfair even told you, like, this is a place for Thremir worship. But it became very clear early on when Lork was looking at the camps that there was something else going on. Originally, you thought maybe it's just a couple of upstarts worshipping Orgothoa and then you find a temple to Orgothoa and now you're in here and it's all

undead. So now within this ancient tomb you get a sense, perhaps there's a greater plan here. Maybe they're trying to create undead war machines. Oh! Undead war machines that could perhaps be fighting on the side of the Storm Tyrant.

Oh, so this is what she's basically offering. Baron, you think back to the Battle of True Now. The countless orcs that died at your hands. Oh, no. And at the hands of your friends, who are now all gone. Every single one of those friends. Lork, Gormley, Galabras.

How that orc threat masked the true danger that would later be uncovered, that a powerful giant is amassing an army of the most powerful giants in all of Galarian to take over the world. That in and of itself is terrifying and is the reason that you and your new traveling partners are fighting so hard to quote unquote save the world. To protect

the world from a giant apocalypse. But now as you stand in this horrible chamber you realize that's just the tip of the iceberg. Because if the giant threat wasn't enough, to quote the great George R.R. Martin

in the voice of Mance Rayder, when the dead walk, walls and stakes and swords mean nothing. Onion of evil. It is just amazing to think that I could have possibly contributed in any way to this creation of these war machines. That my own battle against these creatures

could have led to something that we could never fathom or never defeat. So much blood on your hands. Yeah, we've all kind of contributed to this machine. Like, we've all fed this machine. Unknowingly. I feel like this is the beginning of, like, a Nixon-era peace film. Do you know what I mean?

It's like, look at all these. You're creating even more war. Anyway, continue. You see what Screed was going after. He was trying to side with Grenzeldek. Grenzeldek was offering her shitty orc tribe and her hand in marriage to the storm tyrant, to which he laughed at and threatened to kill her if she ever brought it up again or looked at him in the face. In the face.

Urthash was bringing the best of the best training. Not even training, really kind of handpicking who were the strongest. Weeding out. Yeah, and sending them along to Skirgard. Now, Urthash had his other designs as well. They all did Screed, Grenzeldeg, Urthash as well. And you've heard tell that Skirkotla might have her own thing going on as well. Because they're giants, man. Yeah.

You can put the giant in the giant army, And you've heard tell that Sir Kotlin might have her own thing going on as well. Because they're giants, man. Yeah. Yeah. You can't, you can, you can put the giant in the giant army, but you can't take the giant out of the, like just how crazy selfish and evil they are and how they are always out for their own gains, especially when it comes to their own specific species of giant. As much as we try to, as much as they may try to bring each other together, like. Yeah. There's always somebody who has another plot. They're always plotting against the leader. Subplots.

It will be their downfall, skid. Well, yeah. Pembroke, like, he raises, he's like coughing and gagging and he pulls a handkerchief to his face and he says, Now at last we see. They are constructing aberrations to wage war on us, on the world. Meet for the machine. We are complicit in our own destruction.

We must stop this at the source. And he does a quick, like, scan over the room to see if there's anything useful therein. Detect magic, perception. Detect magic. Perception. Detect magic. Roll perception. While he's doing that, Four Bears is just imagining, like, all of the bodies of his people,

his tribe, as they were laid out after this horrific giant attack, and he's just thinking that this is what their bodies are being used for. It's horrifying. 18 perception. 37 perception.

18 and a 37. Fair Riser really gets those eagle eyes out, those turn eyes out, and, I mean, it's just a mess. If there's anything even left in here, it would take you days to find it, because there's just chunks of bodies. Not all human.

There are some giant bodies in here as well, and some you don't even know what that was. You've fought so many creatures along the way, creatures that you'd only read about in storybooks when you were kids. Maybe that's one of those. Maybe that's something else. It's absolutely disgusting. Baron drops to one knee and loses his vision.

It blacks out entirely. And as he's gaining his vision back and his vision's a little woozy, he has another flashback back to Shinerman's fortune. And he sees the bodies of all the people there and the burnt-down villages and the burning houses. And he remembers what was lost in that battle against the small folk and he thinks about the death there and then he remembers abria the young child that he promised to fight for and to make a better future for and any type of inner conflict

he may have about contributing to this war machine is immediately washed away by the fact that if he doesn't do anything to stop it, they'll wash over the land like a flood. A biblical flood. And he wants to join Pembroke the Potent in stopping it at the source. Pembroke, are you thinking what I'm thinking? Almost certainly, my young lady friend, whom I love so dear. So you're thinking about running away again? Boston. Boston.

Faraz is thinking that we need to burn the contents of this room. Yes, yes. Consecrate it. their deny them their tribute the supply yeah yes agreed um cool so you want to like step into the hallway and then just pray hands room uh i mean i was going to use non-magical fire yeah okay spells but since we got the time But if anybody else wants to Just pour I got some oil Just pour some oil over it and just light it

Oil of Taget Yeah I've got a torch Set it to Go old school in there yeah I can fan the flames With a little spell if we need to but otherwise Alright so you You know fill up the room with a little spell if we need to, but otherwise... All right, so you, you know, fill up the room with oil and soaking the little scraps of clothes.

A little Barron's whiskey. A little whiskey. Feel your hands off that. No. That's for me. That's for Papa. That's not the best use of that. And it catches flames.

And imagine this room that's got, like, ice around the walls. Like, the walls start sweating with the condensation as the flames start to lick up and you just look at this mass grave is now an inferno

as the firelight is flickering off of forebear's face you can see the reflection of like a tear coming down his eye, and he's just like, they all must die. All of them. His voice, like, echoes throughout the chamber.

Pembroke, before you went in here, you cast communal protective protection from evil, cast fly with the wand, mirror image. Did you precast any spells for bears? Or did you think against it? I just cast False Life. False Life. So what do you want to do now?

Those spells are wearing off. Which way have us? Well, we should... I mean, the only way left to us is the central hallway that we've added coming at a northwest angle. Like, that's the only thing left that we haven't really checked out. Cool. So let's do that. And I'm going to recast Flay on myself with the wand, because I think that only lasts three minutes.

Yeah, the false life is 11 hours, so I think he's good on that. Okay. Okay. All right, so you want to make your way to that central corridor, the passageway there. Yeah, that goes right up the gut. Right up the... We have cleared out, I think, both sides of it so far, at least from the entrance. Yeah, we've checked out of the other angles here uh north and south coming off the entrance the only thing left is going northwest right into the center presumably of this of this

fortress all right so go ahead and move your way up and i'll reveal some more so we're for where i'm standing right now troy very nervous you should give us 60 feet from where I'm standing right now, Troy. Very nervous. You should give us 60 feet from where I'm standing. And if you need me to show you that on the map. Yeah, get in there. All the way to there. Okay. All right, great. Yeah, I play this game.

It's called Pathfinder. Guy levels up, he thinks he's king shit. I am the king, I'm the fuck king of shit mountain. He thinks he's king shit. I am the king. I'm the fuck king of shit mountain. You see that about, oh, 40 feet or so ahead, the room opens up into an absolutely enormous room.

Oh, my goodness. Oh, my. Wow. So in this area that the listeners can't see, that I'm pinging right now for you is does that look like a door or is that just that's where that's where the corridor ends and turns into this large

room of indeterminate size I'm going to move 40 feet forward boom so I should be able to see out into this cavernous room yeah a little bit further I'm broke for bears is going to get close to Baron. As he's walking up there, he's not going to let him do it alone.

All right. So Baron and Fourbears move up. You see there's two lines of columns paralleling the east and west walls, supporting the vaulted ceiling of this enormous darkened hall, all pitch black. If you don't have dark vision, you're just looking into darkness. All right, then Four Bears is going to cast light just on him, on his shield.

Baron, from where you're standing, on the far, far side of this chamber, directly opposite where you're standing, there are heavy stone double doors leading off to the west, while there's also a single door, often to the left, offering some sort of access to the south. Even those of you with darkvision, as you look ahead of you into the depths of this great hall, even beyond 60 feet. It just extends into pure darkness.

It kind of looks like a place where giant creatures once would gather for meetings or feasts or pep rallies. I mean, it's just an utterly enormous room. The ceilings are actually 40 feet high in here as opposed to the 20 feet

you've been accustomed to since you've entered. So you're telling me Feyraza can fly over firewalls. Yeah. Noted. Thank you very much. Flying over firewalls. Feyraza will wild ship seeing that into an eagle. Eagle.

Eagle. Does this remind Baron at all of the architecture found in the Sky Citadels or the Five Kings Mountains underground? Like, is it cruder? Is it is it worse? They've certainly carved into the earth in a way that Baron would respect, even if their artisanship is not up to par with dwarves. Sure. It's very different architecture. Yeah, I mean, it's done by, not by artisans, but by, like, workers and laborers. You know what I mean? There's no decorations. Now, when you came in, it was a little bit more showy with the urns and the walls and whatnot.

Here, it's just... Functional. Yeah. But it seems completely sturdy and,, Oh yeah. Well made. For sure. Can I do a knowledge engineering on it to see if I learned anything else about this new place? Yeah. All right.

23. Not bad. 23. Only that it is no longer used for what it once was used for. You get the sense just looking around that like this used to have. Like, dozens upon dozens of people gathering here on a regular basis, but now it's just an empty great hall. Forebears, it's just beyond your sight with your light cast on yourself. But there's a door leading to the south that we can clear out and make sure there is no evil lesson left in this place. Will you join me?

Yes. Lead the way. And Baron approaches the door. Forebearers will stay right behind them. At the southern edge of the great hall leading into the area based on the map that seems like the last room

towards the entrance of this hallway pembroke moves up as well and can you just see it it's like from pembroke's perspective it's like this hulking shadow of forebears and then this light that's cast over baron's back yeah a long shadow like baron like watching right over me yeah and you can see like walking forward burn marks all over baron's duster from being locked inside of the wicker man like the damage that's been done over time it's not like a fresh baron like he met when he got rescued it's totally different yeah does magic healing like heal burnt clothing probably no i don't think so how dare you all wow this is very interesting

dozens of episodes ago and i was literally mocked for like 10 straight minutes. I don't remember that at all. I mean, that might be like 50 plus episodes ago. That was like a year ago. Wow. We've all changed so much since then. Yeah. Apparently.

Apparently. So Baron's going to ignore what Matthew said And then roll a perception check on the door Okay Alright a two on the die but with a 19 Perception 21 21 and you're just Looking for traps Doesn't appear to be trapped

Baron's going to try this Four bears rolls a natural 20 on a similar check It's a 36 Just you know checking the door and listening uh yeah listening you don't hear anything it's a stone door so that doesn't really give you that kind of confidence but uh you're the ocean it doesn't it appears like it just opens in does it seem like a door that would need strength to open nope okay so baron is going to attempt to stealthily open the door okay all right 18 on the die for a 33

you open the door oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah that feels good let me see it yeah Oh, no. And you see a room that looks like quarters. There are two sleeping pallets, two foot lockers, and a small rack for weapons and armor. And that's really it for furnishings in this relatively sparse room. There are two torch sconces mounted to the wall, but no torches active in them. And there's no other doors leading in or out that you can see let's detect magic over the room and then look in the foot lockers

don't detect any magic right under the beds and then the foot lockers open up the foot lockers and it looks like mundane giant sized personal possessions Okay. Open up the footlockers and it looks like mundane, giant-sized personal possessions. Rip the sheets off the beds

just in case. Blacklight them. Opie. Somebody had fun in here. Yeah, you rip the sheets off and there's a giant hiding. Don't come in here He's gonna find me We all get fleas now don't we You all get fleas

They don't even die under water You flip it up and nothing You get the sense that this is This might be where those frost giant guards slept When it wasn't their shift And now you've been around frost giants And their Living arrangements for weeks now. You've seen their sleeping quarters.

And this has all the markings and smells of Frosties. Okay. The only difference is this looks nicer. Yeah. It's the best way I can put it. It's not like fancy. It just looks nicer as if guarding the entrance to this tomb is held in high honor

right among the tribe and thus those who do it are treated with more respect of course now they're dead thanks to you murderers well like i i kind of think of them like until we killed them and in no way besmirching the honor of our armed forces but like the guys that guard the tomb of the unknown soldier like whenever they let go, they like do that crazy like gun inspection, reloading thing. Ceremonial. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hand off. Yeah. So that's probably what they were like. Or changing the guard at the Buckingham Palace. Right, exactly. So, wow. Well, I feel bad for killing them now, but I guess we gotta-

Oh, don't. Do you know how many years they had to work to earn this position? Do you know how many years they had to work to earn this position? Do you know how many humans they had to kill to get that position? Yeah, these guys, these are bad dudes. They killed a lot of humans, but they did it well. That was their job. So, Troy...

They went to work every day, and they killed some humans. Troy, I'm standing outside the doorway now, and I'm just pointing out to you on the map where I can see to now. It's another 20 feet long, the current fog of war. I wish guys could see this little uh tug of war we have going on here so great it's a little peek yeah into what baron when everyone else yeah just keeps going on you're now looking i mean yeah 60 feet and it looks like the room just keeps going on and on your breath is echoing down the end of that chamber what do you think pembroke should we clear out the west of this chamber before moving northward do i have

uh do i have any way of do i have any access to dark vision right now yeah does he you have the goggles right I decided against preparing that spell Oh wait I do have the goggles It's a 5th level spell for 10 minutes Yeah you got those goggles Yeah you have the goggles you can see forever Okay then I Pembroke is going to cast

Arcane Eye Oh yes Sorry Troy Dungeon Breaker Yes Dungeon breaker Yes And so Dungeon breaker He is going to send this

Representative of his own vision Out into the darkness It has dark vision just as he does Oh it's the worst It's the worst as a DM But And I don't want to abuse it Because it does kind of suck

If you're trying to tell a story But I'm gonna Right now If you want any What's the word Suspense Right And I don't want to abuse it because it does kind of suck if you're trying to tell a story. But I am going to right now. If you want any, what's the word? Suspense. Right. Yeah. But I'm super scared right now because we've run into a lot of danger that almost killed us. And we have established that the dark is scary.

Yes. So he's going to send the arcane eye up into the depths of this vault. And it travels 30 feet per round. Yeah. Okay, this test takes 10 minutes to cast. So now all your buffing spells, with the exception of false life, are gone.

You take 10 minutes to cast this, and there are verbal components to this spell. Oh no. And a bit of bat form. So, but you're very, very far down the end of this hall. And imagine him just mumbling under his breath. Maybe that voice carries.

Maybe it doesn't. He's probably not like, arcane eye. Yeah. Go forth. Go forth. He's not a street fighter character that just yells, hadouken. Is that how you put out an arcane eye? It's like, Hayadouk!

It's like, Shoryuken! And I imagine all of you just standing there in the darkness as Pembroke is whispering over this spell. I love that the material component is a bit of bat fur. He's doing this, doing all the somatic components, and you're wondering, like, can anybody hear this? If anybody's in this room, can somatic components and you're wondering like can anybody hear this if anybody's in this room can they hear this i mean i can hear it i'm standing right there but and something down presumably doing it quietly right right right but i'm saying if they can hear it oh yeah such a big chamber yeah does it echo and eventually the eye appears well this is an invisible eye obviously my dad actually mentioned this the other day and it was so interesting he

he talked about when he was in Korea during Vietnam, and there were days when they were in these real remote outposts and stuff, and he was like, you would get up in the morning, and it would be so quiet. The wildlife would be so silent, and it would be this huge open expanse of pure silence, and you would just whisper when you spoke. Like there was no, just so naturally. And when you whispered, it sounded loud just because it was so quiet in an open space.

Yeah, I can get it. I can hear it. I just imagine trying to sneak out of my house when I was like 16 and like opening up the door and just hearing the click really loud in my ears and just like my parents had to have heard. Might as well just take a sledgehammer to the door. Yeah. Yeah.

So the eye moves forward. I'm reading this here. It says it, it looks ahead as a human would primarily looking at the floor or it can move even slower to start examining the ceilings and walls. So it's just moving forward 30 feet, 30 feet, 30 feet. This is all happening in seconds now. And eventually it gets towards the back of the chamber and you see that the chamber ends. And it's looking down and it sees an enormous hoof.

And another enormous hood. And another enormous hoof. And another one. and another enormous hoof and another one and another one. I'm assuming Pembroke probably starts to direct it upward. Mm-hmm. And it just goes upward to see this massive body

connected to a stallion's lower half. But it has no head. What the fuck? And all of a sudden, in the darkness, you hear that Oh no.

start to echo. And it echoes all the way up to you, followed by a booming, gravelly voice. Oh, no. It's like, give me your name. Oh, no! Roll for initiative.

Oh, no! Oh, man. Do you think he's talking to us? He's very far away. Guess what Joe rolled, everybody. Two. Tell them what they won, Matthew. A beautiful new car!

Or the ability to roll a natural one. Oh, God. For fuck's sake So what's the total on that? That's a solid three Gentlemen's three? Gentlemen's three Pembroke?

Uh, that is a five Five Uh, Baron, I'll save you for last Feyraza? Eleven Oh no Oh no Baron

How, showomad's done 25 Alright 12 on the die 25 Oh my god What's your initiative It's 4th level

Plus 13 Ridiculous character I know It's just And he's got 139 hit points Yeah Is that more than you

Yep You just You just beat Barely And that's with a belt Of plus four constitution. Listen, I know people hate me because I'm beautiful, but I'm okay with that. You just hear, give me your name.

And silence. Baron, what do you do? give me your name in silence Baron what do you do my name is Baron Ashby yeah you do yeah you do and I am not alone we could have lied I am not alone

I'm Skir Kotla let me introduce you to the judge. And you hear him slam a paper cartridge into his gun and click it shut. The judge! Like a sawed off double barrel. In the darkness

he points to those around him and says, These three are bonded to me through the forge of battle. They're the jury. And believe me when I say that these are the last words you will ever hear. I'm the goddamned executioner. Let's dance. Wow.

This could have gone one of two ways. This is his plan B. So do you move? Can I see the thing? No. Oh, man. Still cannot see it. You're on a roll.

I'm describing it. I'm like, this is a massive creature. How far? Headless. And I tell him where it is. So I'm going to move. He just moved the eye down the hallway right yeah just down the hall uh baron's actually going to move uh he's gonna know that

you already have told us through this adventure there's a place for massive creatures and you mentioned a big creature and a hoof through that so mounted five ten fifteen twenty he's gonna double move behind this pillar so he can't be charged at because the last time you had a massive creature in uh the the this adventure they charged us so i'm gonna think that that's what you're gonna do this time and i'm gonna stand back here okay well like uh i like where your head's at there bear bear bear thank you and that is my turn with a double move. Okay. Feyraza. Feyraza is going to take off flying and follow Baron's lead and kind of flank out and head over behind this pillar.

Ah, so you go to the left, whereas Baron went to the right. Up in the air. Up in the air. Shut up, George Clooney. At the edge of the farthest darkness that Baron can see, you see hooves appear. This is so ominous. And Baron, you feel this intense feeling of need

and hopeless desire wash over you. Roll a fortitude save. Oh, no. At a minus two. Okay. Is this going to turn Baron into a horse girl? Poison spell, spell like ability? Supernatural.

Okay. 16 on the die for 28 there you go that's with the minus two with the minus two 26 26 yeah you have to add the mic stop touching your mic toy i told you this every episode he always just okay in his defense this is the first time we're recording this game. For the moment, everything seems to be okay. Oh, for the moment. For the moment. For the moment. It is now Pembroke's turn. Excuse me.

Yes. It is now Pembroke's turn. Pembroke is going to cast Mirror Image on himself again. How many Pembrokes do we get? Oh, it's a maximum of seven. Seven images. Oh, my God. I always thought that that maxed out.

That's crazy. It's an additional one per three level. Oh, my God. That's great. Yeah, so it's great. Pembroke's going to go straight into melee combat. Seven Pembrokes. Okay. All right.

And do you want to move at all? I am going to move. I think I can move the eye. I'm going to keep moving the eye to the back of the room another 30 feet to see what I can see. All right. So you move it to the back, and you realize right behind where this huge creature was standing, there are double doors leading out. Okay. And the room ends.

Great. So you would say it probably goes for another 60 feet beyond Baron's vision. Okay. Huge. Wow, incredible. It is Forbear's turn. Well, Forbear's can't see anything I mean he can see roughly

40 feet away and this thing is I can see on the map another 40 feet Beyond that basically so He's kind of alone in the dark He sees Pembroke just off to his right 15 feet Baron in the dim light In the distance and same thing With Feyraz I can barely see her

He's just going to unsure of what this voice is or its intentions he's going to cast give me your name yeah he is going to cast stone skin on himself

okay and not move stone skin not move new round baron uh baron is going to move up to the next pillar okay so he's just like coming up hide mine pillar yeah it's very like navy seals type of stuff that he's doing right now metal gear solid style metal gear solid and he should be able to see the box over your head to here now okay hold on there should be able to see the whole creature well maybe even it's just right where i'm pointing where god damn it matthew i hate him so much you see something similar

to those stallion like creatures that had bodies of a frost giant attached to them the difference being this one is carrying its head in its hands whoa whoa

holding its head by A horn Either coming out of a Helm or out of the head Itself this lifeless head Being held in its hand And the other hand a gigantic Lance

Oh boy Is there a check I can do now That I can clearly see this creature to identify what type of creature it is you can roll uh knowledge religion an eight oh no bear you've never heard of anything quite like this first time you'd ever seen anything like it is when you fought those savatharims. Someone let me know what this is. It's what Baron yells out into the darkness, hoping that one of his party members will let him know,

and he'll fire at it. What do you see? Describe it! He's horrified. There's only... He can't see anything. Six seconds in a round, four bears. It's 40 feet away.

You're good. 40 feet away. So that's within my first range increment. I'm going to turn off my judgments from before and i just want to be accurate no rapid shot one attack at a plus 14 oh 28 against touch ac yeah that is a hit okay uh 18 points of damage bludgeoning piercing do you get the magic all weapon of awe bonus for that no i have not cast it yet. Okay.

I want to make sure I know what it is. How long does it last? Rounds per level? What, ban or weapon of awe? It's a swift action that you do every time you use it, right? Duration is one minute left. Oh, one minute. Oh, wow.

Oh, that's great. Wow, that's great. All right. It is Feyraza's turn. Feyraza is going to fly, staying on the side of the pillars away from the creature, but close enough to where she can see him. And then she's going to cast Wall of Fire.

Oh, yeah. Wall of Fire. Where are you casting the Wall of Fire? Damn, girl. I'm going to draw it for you. Diagonally? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Now you're talking about language, Captain Akaza.

I love this man. What a wonderful language. Okay, nice. So like an angle starting towards the right side and going up towards the left at a diagonal. Yep, just about 20 feet away from him so that if he's going to come to us, he's going to take some damage. He certainly is. Now just do me a favor and roll spell resistance real quick. All right.

Because Wall of Flame has spell resistance, yes. Wall of Fire. 21. It's turn. It charges straight through the Wall of Flame, taking zero damage. Oh, what a baller. Wow. It actually stands

directly in the flame itself. Charges at Baron with a power attack. This could be bad, good buddy. Giant subtype? No.

Not the giant subtype. Oh, shit. Take your Bane Baldrick and get out of here. Well, I mean, it's more about AC than Bane Baldrick. Sure. All right, two hit. All right, it's going to be close. It is a 36.

Oh, no. Fuck you, Troy. Oh, buddy. All right. Oh, buddy. All right. Here we go. This might take a moment. Because you're dumb. Because you can't add.

64 points of damage. That is almost half my life. And five points of sonic damage. What? As its lance just ruptures into you That is almost exactly half my life in one attack With a power attack It charges up to you

Yep And Wow This particular lance also does sonic damage So you take a total 61 plus another five 64 plus 5? I already took it off.

69. Yeah, 69. The worst possible thing. No, it's the best possible. For me. That is its turn. It stands there in the flames, and Feroz is just like,

what is that? What a horrifying image. It is Pembroke's turn. All seven of you. Pembroke is going to start casting Summon Monster 5. Okay. Pembroke's turn. All seven of you. Pembroke is going to start casting Summon Monster 5. Okay. Pembroke begins casting Summon Monster 5.

Do you move at all? No, I do not. Okay. It is going to be Fourbear's turn. Fourbear, I believe you can see the creature at this point. Oh, yeah. You know what you're up against. Yeah, this is terrifying.

Oh, God. But what can i do to this guy oh man all right i am going to four bears is going to move up towards baron i mean he sees this horrific hit that baron takes and he's going to try for a round here. He's going to come up just behind... Oh, shit. Sorry. Nah, I forgot something. What do you got? I was just going to do a knowledge check on my turn. Yeah, go for it. You can do it right now. Alright, what would be

appropriate? Religion. Religion. 27. 27. It is a type of Savatharim known as a Dullahan. It's a Dullahan. Dullahan. Uh... It'll help you through a difficult birth if you can't afford

a hospital. With a 27, I can give you one piece of useful information. What does the head do? What does the head... Do you want to know about the head? What's up with that head? He can throw the head do? What's the, how does, is the head? What does the head do? You want to know about the head? What's up with that head? He can throw the head at you.

If it hits, he gets a free trip attack with the head, and the head then returns to his hand. Oh, he's Captain America with a head? Oh, man. He can throw the head. Watch out for the head. If the free trip is successful, you're also stunned and prone. Oh, no. So it's not like, he's not seeing through the eyes of the head.

No, no, no. He's just using it as a weapon. Just using it as a weapon. And it's pretty awful. It's an ability known as Ten Pin Toss. Is it really? Yeah. That's awesome.

Four bears. What do you think? If I move to where you see me on the map I'm trying to move behind this pillar put the pillar Between myself and the creature can I See Baron You can see the edge of Baron there around the Pillar okay so I'm going to come just

Slide to four bears is right get Behind this pillar Baron is just at the Edge of my bright light Normal light vision I can see a piece of him. A little chunk. Yep, and he's going to say... There's also a huge wall of fire. Right, right, right, right. I'm more so talking about the line of sight

as opposed to the lighting because of the pillar. And so he's just going to, you know, do an incantation asking for, again, the blessing of his ancestors on Baron because he sees what a horrific situation he's in right now and he's going to hex him with protective luck. Oh. Oh, what does that do?

So for the next two rounds, any time this creature rolls an attack roll on you, he has to roll twice and take the lower result. Oh, yeah. Wow. Yeah. So hopefully he'll go off somewhere else or miss you. So the next attack, he rolls twice, take the lower.

Next two rounds, any attacks, any attack rolls. Wow. Okay. Any, requires any attack roll, including weapon attacks, they roll twice and take the worst result. Sounds like mid-maxing to me. That's my thing, Matthew. Very cool.

Okay, it is a new round. It is Baron's turn again. So again, no two swift actions in a turn, right? Yes, that is correct. very cool okay it is a new round it is Baron's turn again so again no two swift actions in a turn right yes that is correct I know you said it earlier you were like and plus I could do a judgment and the litany

I'm gonna take a judgment first off I'm gonna lay a judgment down of sacred protection plus two to raise my AC by two because even with that bonus... Yeah. Even with the protective luck, you probably still need it. Yeah, exactly.

And then Baron's going to take a five-foot step back and do a full round action. Beautiful! Close and deadly. I will tell you, there is no place you can move that won't provoke, as it does have 15 feet of reach with that lance, and it is a huge creature so oh my god but with a lance instead of a natural weapon it should only be able to attack me from exactly 15

feet away you are 15 feet away right now yeah i was 15 no you just there yes and now you're 15 feet away right after the move you were 10 now you're 15 so right so you shouldn't have been able to attack me at 10 feet no no No, no, because you're shooting. Because you're shooting, he can attack you. No, but Grant's point is that wherever Troy stopped to hit him, he should have been 15 feet away. Yeah, so it looks like I would have had to stay 15 feet away from you originally, which means, because with a reach weapon, I can attack at 15 and 20. So now, if you move five feet away, you're all set.

So that means I get to punch you as hard as I possibly can right now, right? You can. You can hit me with all you got. All right. You can hit me with all you got. Real life, let me put down this mic. You will need to. You will need to. All right, so I took a diagonal step five feet back, and I'm going to take a full round attack action, and I am going to use a swift wire to use it on increasing my AC,

so I'm not going to use my other swift action. Thank you, Joe. Fair enough. First attack. Oh, that's going to be a other swift action. Thank you, Joe. Fair enough. First attack. Oh, that's going to be a big juicy hit. Juicy hit. Oh, 19 points of damage.

Ooh. 19 points of damage. Second attack is going to also be a hit with 16 points of damage. Not so great. And the final attack is not in the drawer. The final attack is going to be 12 against touch AC. That is a miss. Wow. Oh, my God. You is going to be 12 against Touch AC. That is a miss. Wow. Oh, my God.

You're going to have to roll over five. How can you manage? The most challenging battle yet. It is Feyraza's turn. What do you got? Feyraza's going to attempt a hover check. Okay. And makes it.

Okay. And she's going to begin casting. Hover and begins casting. It is now its turn. Okay. And she's going to begin casting. Hover and begins casting. It is now its turn. Hmm. So many options. If I critically hit Baron, it can be permadeath. Are you willing to do that?

I mean, it depends. It depends on what it wants to do here. Right now, the way the columns are set up, by you guys, Baron, Four Bears, and Pembroke are all kind of behind the columns to the right, and Feyraza is fanned out to the left, basically unhittable by it, although maybe it can stab up.

This is very, very, very interesting here, the way you've set yourselves up. It's like playing chess with you guys, trying to decide just where to go. Alright, Casper, what are you going to do? I want to do the most damage possible, so

if there weren't seven Pembrokes, I have a beautiful charge on Pembroke right here. That's the problem, is I can't charge on Baron. I can just do a regular old-fashioned attack. Well, does he know that there are mirror images? Yeah, you can see seven of them. That's true. There's seven dudes over there.

How does he perceive the world around him? That's a metagaming thing I think you're doing for this headless creature. I'm seeing double! Fourteen Pembrokes! He might throw his head at, he could throw his head at Firasov. I'm gonna charge at all fourteen of those wizards over there. Take him out! I think I'm gonna take a

five foot step. And now I'm gonna do a full round attack on Baron. I don't think you can do that through the pillar, buddy. Oh, I can. If you can fire 19 shots, I can attack you three times

with my lance. Fuck. With power attack on. All right. Let me just make sure... Only while charging do I get that. Okay. This makes it a little crazier.

I get double damage on my charges, so. All right. This still might be enough here. I'm going to leave power attack on because I'm feeling good. Roll twice, take the lower for this whole round. That's correct. Okay. All right.

This is my highest to hit 29 miss thanks to my judgment of holy protection yes so all these rolls have to be rolled twice yeah yeah 30 it's exactly a hit oh shit all right that we can't even afford one hit. Yeah, really. Did you subtract for your second attack? I did. I have it all here on here on my arm. Do all the math for me. I've never failed this before. This one is going to be...

33 points of regular damage. Brutal. This thing's gonna get me. And three points of sonic. Okay. Final attack. So horrifying. Two dice, taking the lowest. Okay. Final attack. So horrifying. Two dice, taking the lowest.

Lowest to hit. Two 20s. It's going to be a miss. Nice. Yes, yes, yes. Yes! Baron is clinging onto life. Clinging, clinging, clinging.

He hasn't had this few HP since he was level three it is pembroke's turn pembroke you began casting pembroke's again casting yes it was actually i said five but i actually i misspoke i meant six do you want to hold me to five no no please okay uh please wise Please. Wise man. So appearing in a cloud of celestial glitter appears an old and dear trusted friend, Jambo, the celestial triceratops. Let's see how this guy handles. Yeah, like right right. A dinosaur. Yeah, it's just this rumbling, reverberating roar yeah he's like five foot by five is he a large creature or is he a huge he's huge he's a triceratops infant yeah uh

triceratops embryo right uh all right you can control him now. Okay, thank you. All right, so I'm going to control him right there. And he is going to charge at this creature. Let's see. Yeah, dude. Hold on. I don't think I'll use my AOL on him. Okay. Interesting choice. And he gores

him. Gar! Oh, that is a natty 19. Oh, we're talking hipper gore, baby. Yeah, that is a 38 to hit. Yep, that'll hit. Okay. That will hit.

And he does 39 points of damage. Baby. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. I see what you did there. Oh, I like that. And Pembroke is going to move over a couple of feet to get a clear shot at this guy. Got a nice clear view on him.

Nice. to get a clear shot at this guy. Got a nice clear view on him. And he is going to do a metamagically quickened magic missile. Okay. For 16 points of damage. Okay, and that's... That's not a magic missile, right? No, there is, yeah.

Okay. That's just a casual level. Yes. Straight up casual level check. Oh, that's a fail. Oh, no. That's a 14. So, manrap, cast a level check. Oh, that's a fail. Oh, no. That's a 14. So, man, those always hit.

I know. So he is going to start casting summon monster five. And I do mean five this time. Summon monster five. See, this is where we're getting to the real heart of, like, Pembroke's ability. Like, this is his thing. He's remembering. He's coming back. Bringing back creatures from other planes.

This is what he does. This is what he has always done. What he did in his youth. After years of atrophy, he is beginning to rediscover his power. To do just this sort of thing. His potency as it were.

Forebears, you are up. Oh, man. Oh, baby. Alright. Four bears is going to, let's see, he is going to move up

past Baron right into the view of this thing and get... And he moves through a threatened square. Yeah, he moved through Baron's square, so he moved through a threatened square if you would like to A-O-O. Moved through a threatened square, eh?

Yes. Yeah, I'll give you a little something because I got Power Attack on. Am I still... Oh, no, that's only against Baron, right? Only against Bear Bear, yeah. Here's Neon got power attack on. Am I still? That's only against Bear Bear. Here's Neon Green. Come on. Oh,

God. One away from a critical. One away with my keen lance. Jesus. Yeah, that is going to be a 39 to hit though. Yeah, that'll do it. This will do some damage to you, buddy.

30 points of regular and 6 points of sonic. Oof. Sonic boom! Sonic boom! Oh, vicious. Vicious. All right, so he moves past Baron, and as he steps through his square turns he turns to him and he's like fall back you must live and he reaches out and he casts cure critical wounds oh my god the bear bear interposing

himself between baron and the doula han yeah the doula han and uh this will be let's see uh oh i did good so far buddy I did good could have rolled bad and I did oh no that's a wrong die that d10 was really helpful yeah that was really helpful there okay that's good so

32 points of healing and and then he is going to swift action. Uh, no, you know what? He's not. He's just going to turn and put his shield up, uh, in between him, you know, this guy and Baron.

Okay. Turns, puts his shield up. New round. Baron. God damn. Tell me to retreat. Hide behind Jumbo. Jumbo. J Jambo. Jambo.

Jambo will protect you. Ride Jambo into battle. Ride him into battle. Jambo is a little too far. Is this creature holding a weapon? The lance. Is that what it's attacking us? Yes.

Okay, yes, Matthew. Sorry. Sorry, we're active in combat, so we can't hear in everything that happens. We don't just cast useless firewalls across the battlefield. Here we go. Well. And just to be clear. There goes my effort to save Baron.

And just to be clear, the fallback is not, like, flee. It's like, you know, just position yourself range so that you're not taking all this damage. You know what? Do me a favor, because I forgot to do it before. I might as well do it right at the top of the round. How about everybody rolls a will save? Here we go again with this shit. Oh, does he have combat reflexes?

Don't worry about it. Because if he does, I would have to cast defensively. I casted a spell. Oh, I see. I just forgot, since he already did one, I didn't occur to me. Yeah, I mean, you wouldn't have that information uh all right well shit uh you can try it and if you fail you would just lose the spell yeah uh all right i'm gonna shit this is so stupid you have a pretty good bonus

it might he might not have it joe i do i do uh Yeah I do have a good bonus Please hold yourselves to your original wills Alright here we go I need a Natural 5 or higher And I'm fine natural fucking 2 Oh Jesus Good fucking god It doesn't attack you And then I'm going to roll

To not lose the spell Dude that's fucking crazy And I lost the spell with another natural two. So you didn't get any healing. How much did you do? 33? 32. 32? Okay, so take

32 damage. Got it. How are we doing on those will saves? 23. Fail. Wow. Pembroke got a 25. Pass. And Jambo got a 15.

Fail. For Jambo. Baron? 14. Fail. Uh-huh. 4-4? 29.

Pass. Those of you who failed, those of you who passed, you're fine. Who are my failers? Me. Jambo. Jambo, Baron, and Feyraza. Ooh. You are shaken for 26 rounds.

Oh, man. What does that mean? Are you kidding me? Just being in the frightful presence of this creature, you are shaken for a scant 26 rounds. Oh, no. So, forebears, your attempt to heal, even though it didn't attack, because you chose to cast defensively, loses the spell.

Baron doesn't get any healing. Baron, you are now shaken. You should have been for the past few rounds. What do you do? Well, you don't know what I would have rolled if you had said it when you should have you big dumbass uh you said how far away am i from the creature right now do you want me to do the math please okay i want you to tell me because i i have 10 i mean 15 feet and you said a threat in 15 to 20 correct uh yes i mean it says right am i 20 feet away the closest the closest square says that you're 20 feet

away uh okay so i'm 20 feet away right now so i'm outside of the um if you do anything from this spot yeah provoke i'm gonna five foot step away then okay i'm 20 feet away you said i provoked 15 to 20 and i'm gonna full attack action that's all i can do okay and i'm going to full attack action. That's all I can do. Okay. And I'm going, four bears will block it. And you have a clean shot there with four bears and the pillar. I always forget about cover and stuff like that.

Yep. Unimpeded. Unimpeded. You can see right there. No, it's impeded. I think you would get a plus two. You have to draw a line from any square on your thing to any square on his thing.

So there is some cover there. But I would argue that he could see more than half of the creature, so it's a plus two. Plus two to its touch AC, which isn't still going to really help him. But you do get a minus two to your roll, so it's an effective plus two. So now you do. Now you have to roll, like, nine or higher. Don't, Mark.

No, I'm not even kidding. That's an actual like problem he's not gonna just hit every uh attack now so five foot step away swift action weapon of awe yeah get that sacred time to show them how we oh no i'm not gonna do weapon of awe actually i'm going to do i'm gonna do i'm gonna do bane against this dude Oh what kind of Bane Bane against the type of creature Pembroke told me it was Oh that's interesting

What type of creature Bane Doolahan Bane Doolahan Okay I don't think that's it You need the actual type of the creature You can guess at it I guess I mean does that fall under... Now that I know Dooligan... No, no, no, wait, wait.

It's holding its own head. Yeah, like, would that fall under useful information? Like, I would think that knowing the type would come along with knowing what it is. That's why he asked what it was. Sure, sure, sure, sure. Yeah, no, it's undead. It's holding its head. It's holding its head.

Grant, it's holding its own head. Grant, I just want you to feel bad for metagaming. That's all. It's holding its head. It's holding its head. Grant, it's holding its own head. Grant, I just want you to feel bad for metagaming. That's all. That's all this discussion is. You want to feel bad for playing a game the same way you are against us. It's holding its head. It's holding its head. Oh, my God.

All right. I'm about to. You know what I'm not looking forward to? The old throwing head trick. I know that's coming. The old throwing head. That old trick. That old tale.

All of these attacks are going to be up close and deadly. Okay. So eat it. The first attack is a natural one. Oh, my God. No. Yes. And you know what?

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