The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 19 - Fortune Favors the Boulder
Episode Date: October 6, 2015A deadly trap is sprung as our heroes unleash hell on their orcish foes. The brutal battle for the city gates rages on! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an o...fficial member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast
Almost! Return to the barricade!
The heroes continue the fight to protect True Now's last line of defense
and find their bonds growing stronger.
Gormley is more attached to these people around her than she is the town.
Galabras is finally, for the first time in his life,
literally fighting shoulder to shoulder
with people that he's growing to respect and to like.
In order to survive, they must think quick.
You hear things coming at you.
Lork, what do you do?
Unleash their most powerful attacks.
Oh my God!
And add a new nickname that just might stick.
There it is.
I know what happens.
The adventure continues now. Hi there, podcast listeners.
How are you?
This is Gormley.
Happy early Halloween.
And also, it's Matthew Capitacazza.
How are you doing?
Well, with Halloween coming up in a few weeks, I thought I might talk a little bit about
a subject that I've become a big fan of, witches, and specifically what attracted me to playing
as a witch in our game.
I mean, aside from the fact that they're awesome.
So I've always been really fascinated by witches and the way they appear in both history and
mythology.
So witch is a term that's been thrown around for centuries, and more often than not, it's used by members of a dominant culture to try to ostracize, denigrate, or otherwise persecute those who may not fit that mold or are perceived as a threat in some way.
And the ways witches appear in stories are also super interesting to me.
That the witch archetype is often a woman who has power,
who's comfortable with her sexuality,
instead of letting others shame them for it.
You know, badasses.
And in fairy tales, they often stand in opposition to the princess archetype.
That's the so-called evil end of that spectrum.
Which is a whole can of beans I'm not going to open here.
Anyway, witches are these powerful, confident, unashamed figures who are forced into this outsider status.
And in the realm of fiction, that outsider status can obviously grant them abilities.
Hence, Gormley.
I remember back when I was creating my first Pathfinder character,
and I described him to resident RPG intake counselor Joe O'Brien as a bit of a loner.
an RPG intake counselor, Joe O'Brien, as a bit of a loner, and Joe mocked me ruthlessly and pointed out that I was not in any way, shape, or form the first person to create
a bit of a loner character for an RPG, which, you know, fair enough.
But I think the appeal of that idea for me, and probably for a lot of other players, is
that though the character may be a bit of a loner, they desperately want community.
Take Gormley.
I wanted to play as someone who was totally powerful and totally self-aware and totally unashamed of all of that.
And having been traumatized and ostracized in her past, was forced to develop her own way of getting through each day.
And for Gormley, that meant living alone out in the mountains, studying ancient artifacts,
hanging out with a scorpion, and developing her own power. And yeah, that might make her quote-unquote creepy or weird, but she knows a lot of stuff and can cast some crazy spells,
and she can fly, which is awesome. And I think the kind of wonderful engine of this adventure
path is the party forming its own family. And I'm a fan of any family or community that would count someone like Gormley as one of its members.
But enough out of me. Let's get to the episode.
Thanks, as always, for listening, and thanks for all the feedback and the support we're getting.
Keep it coming. We love it.
If you're new to the show, or if your fandom has been newly deepened in some way over the past few episodes,
hey, why don't you leave us a review on iTunes?
We're pretty close to 100. I know that would be awesome to get up there.
And now, please enjoy episode 19, Fortune Favors the Boulder.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight bodies of orcs litter the battlefield.
Nine more just came running in, alive, holding a battering ram, rushing headlong towards the barricade.
Omas Frum, sweating from his brow, greatsword in hand.
Stinking of whiskey.
Stinking of whiskey and vomit.
Looks to you with nothing but courage in his eyes.
Somewhere behind the crenellated towers stands a bombardier just waiting.
Why do I tell you all this?
Because it means I have to control 11 characters.
And I have a huge headache.
So this is what you guys are facing right now.
Lork, you are at the ready with a flaming boulder in front of you.
Right next to you is Galabras, who had just healed Omast.
Omast jumped back behind the barricade.
And, of course, Gormley and Baron standing in front of the logs,
ready for something to come in their path to cut those bad boys loose.
And now you've got these nine orcs.
First thing that happens, the bombardier sneaks out, shows himself in view,
and fires his ranged crossbow straight at Gormley.
Oh.
Jesus.
You are up front.
Don't forget the defense.
She's right behind the barricade.
22 to hit.
Let me see if cover worked.
And past cover.
Does 22 hit?
Yeah, that hits.
Believe it or not.
22.
All right.
Hit me.
Let me get that short bow sound
Oh god
I wasn't ready
Go ahead
Roll your
It's okay
Stretch this out
Yeah
Please
I think if he doesn't have
If he doesn't have the sound
You can't hit him
It didn't hit
Here we hit
Oh
Oh
Hits formally
Right between the shoulder blade
And the heart
For nine points of damage.
Oh, crap.
This one isn't starting out as well.
I want to savor Gormley's death.
So I'm glad we stretched it out.
Does her boob deflate?
We did establish.
She's a cross-dresser.
Check out our wonderful new art that's been up for a while now.
Gormley has an excellent figure.
She's got a hell of a rack, dude.
I'd hit it.
My compliments.
And now it is Lork's turn.
Lork is going to push the boulder.
He's going.
So which direction are you going to push it in?
He's going to push the boulder.
He's going.
So which direction are you going to push it in?
The way that these guys are set up, there's four on one side, five on the other.
So you can choose a row to take it out. I'm going to choose to take out the row on Lork's right.
The row four.
One second, though.
Last episode, you said it was 10 foot tall by 10 foot wide.
Couldn't he hit both rows?
No, they're 15 feet wide. They're 15 feet wide. Oh 15 feet wide because there's a space in the middle they have the whatever it is
battering ran between them so i'm going to take out that row because the row to lork's left
is the side where uh gormley and baron are manning the logs so they might might be able to take them
out with logs if they choose to do so. But there's a flaming boulder
between us. We can't really talk about it at the
moment. I need you to
roll a DC 13
strength check. And now unlike
a fortitude will or reflex save
where you have a number, this is just
your strength modifier.
You add to a D20 and you've got to hit 13.
Right. Can I help? What about
Ormas? Can Olmas help?
Yeah, I mean, can somebody else aid me?
He's right next to me.
Yeah, absolutely.
So can I roll?
Because you would have readied that action before this happened. Right, exactly.
I think you'll make it with bold strength.
Well, I mean, it's still a roll of the die,
so you don't want to risk it too much.
Galabras?
Well, Galabras rolled a 19.
Oh! All right, so thatras rolled a 19. Oh!
All right, so that's a plus two.
Plus two to hit.
That still works with the zero strength bonus?
Yeah.
Great.
Got it.
I got a 20.
That boulder starts rolling.
Oh!
Oh, man.
Flaming giant boulder.
I think I have a siren escape sound for this.
I placed a giant...
Oh, my God!
Baron, on your right!
I placed a giant D20 on the board to signify the boulder,
and you can check it out on our Tumblr.
It hits all four of them.
Yes!
The two in the back are prone,
which means it hits all of them for they're in the negative.
All four of them are in the negative.
The two in the back get hit so hard they get knocked prone.
They fail their reflex save, which means...
It's rolling back?
It's coming back!
It was a boomerang boulder!
Can anyone do the Wilhelm scream?
The two in the back get knocked prone,
which means on their next turn for ferocity they'll stand up and die.
And the other two have one move left before they die,
but all of them have been knocked below zero.
Badass.
Nice job.
Do they drop the battering ram?
Yeah, the battering ram immediately falls out of all of their hands.
And, wow.
Lork, that was your turn, or do you have a move action?
You tell me.
Do I still have a move action left?
Sure, what the hell.
All right, well, with my move action, I am going to sheathe my Masterwork Battleaxe,
and I'm going to free action quick draw my longbow.
So I'm ready for next round.
Quick draw the longbow.
Very good.
Next up is Baron.
All right, Baron.
Can Baron fire
at a person in the middle
of that crowd?
Uh,
I don't
see why not.
So I want to shoot at the third orc
on the right flank, so that
Can you do it?
Yes. Should you do it yes but should you do it it would make more sense
for you to shoot the guy up front i mean i i feel like that's a pinpointy you know what i mean like
i just i hear what you're saying but where they're all standing in a row wouldn't you fire at the
head guy i'm doing it i'm doing it strategically because I want to use another
flare cartridge to daze
and blight them. I see what you mean.
Oh, yeah.
I'm going to give you a minus two.
I'm house ruling this
right now because it would make sense.
So the third orc,
I should affect all of them with a dazzled
condition if I get it.
Okay. Very big.
Sixteen. That's shit. I should affect all of them with a dazzled condition if I get it. Okay. Very big. 16.
That's a hit.
Against touch aces.
Hit.
Firing a flare into them.
That wasn't even Sirenscape.
That was Skid.
That was me.
Damage is three.
Oh.
And the guy I hit in the middle Is blinded
Oh man
And the rest of them
All of them I think are dazzled
All of them are dazzled
Minus one to hit
Right and you need him to make
Oh wait sorry
He makes a DC 1515 Fortitude check.
He failed.
He's blinded, for sure, then.
He's blinded, and then the other ones,
do they have to roll a Fortitude save,
or are they just automatically dazzled?
No, they're automatically dazzled.
It's like Splash Dazzle.
Splash Dazzle.
Which is the name of Joe's autobiography.
All right.
Splash Dazzle.
I came to say Splash Dazzle.
Splash Dazzle.
Splash Dazzle, chief! Talk about Splash D. I came to say smash statue. Smash statue.
Talk about splash statue.
Wow.
All right.
There it is.
Gormley.
So what happened to the bombardier when the boulder came crashing through?
He is represented by this six-sided die back there.
So he's just chilling back there still betwixt the credited towers.
He's a good 60, 70 feet away from us.
Thank you.
I'm going to shoot him with the crossbow.
All right.
That's within range for you.
It's not the ideal range.
He can hit you.
You can hit him.
You don't get that point-blank shot, but you...
I still get plus four.
Hell yeah.
But I rolled a three, so it's not going to hit.
Sounds like this.
Nice.
We got DJ Joe
on ones and twos.
DJ Splash Dazzle.
Oh no! Oh no, it happened! It's going to stick! Joe. Ones and twos. DJ Splash Dazzle.
Oh no!
Oh no! What happened?
We got Boner, Kala,
and DJ Splash Dazzle. I really like that one.
My favorite. This guy really knows
how to tag a joke and how to
make a callback.
He's some sort of
comedian.
Why does Joe have the best nickname
it's fucked up man
shut up Paula
oh god
keep it down over there
boner
quiet down Churchy
I don't
I like Churchy better
at least it's descriptive
the difference is
I don't mind
being called boner
I know you don't
I totally am aware
of this. Alright, Paula, you're up.
Motherfucker!
I swear to God!
Firm.
You know what I was
thinking today is that Poundstone
actually does sound like a
halfling name.
Or a dwarf
name. Like it says, I'm Gim House Poundstone. Or a dwarf name.
Like,
it says,
I'm Gimli Poundstone.
You know?
Yeah.
That's totally,
that is a,
Very dwarvish.
Wait,
hang on.
Gormley still gets a move action,
right?
Oh,
yeah,
yeah.
Yeah.
How tall is the barricade?
Three feet?
Three feet.
Is it a, was that a crossbow that you have to reload,
or was it a bow?
It was a crossbow.
So,
if you want to use it again next round,
you're going to use your moves back to reload.
It's up to you.
I think Gormley's going to crouch behind the barricade.
Okay. Like a woman?
Like someone with a hope knife
who's going to cut the rope on the fucking log.
Son of a bitch!
Don't even with Gormley!
Don't even!
That witch will fuck you up.
I'm not kidding.
Wait, wait.
Is that your move action?
I don't think that's a move action.
The crouch is not a move action?
No.
Oh, no.
To crouch?
No, that's just crouching.
You should reload your crossbow just in case.
Just have it ready.
All right, I'll reload the crossbow.
If you're not going to actually move.
Well, you can do it while you're crouching.
I'll do it while I'm crouching.
Question of tactics.
Can we cut one of the ropes to guide the logs towards the remaining orcs
since they are not directly in front of them?
No, it's just too much.
It's like a one-shot thing where two of you can untie in one round
or you can just go, and they just go.
It's pretty haphazardly made.
It wouldn't be as effective to try and turn the logs.
I guess I should also ask,
we probably broke through that barricade with that boulder, right?
Yes, that barricade now has a giant hole in it,
so you effectively did what the battering ram would have done,
created a big gaping hole.
It's a big hole in the middle of the barricade.
All right, Gell, what are you thinking, buddy?
Gell is going to
Load his crossbow
And fire at the lead orc
To his right
Very well
Ah, yes
One of the ones that was hit by a boulder
But not knocked prone
Ten
Ten to hit
Misses
Sails wide.
Hits the tower.
But a valiant effort.
A valiant effort. A valiant effort
nonetheless. And I use my movement
action to reload.
Okay.
Omast comes up
and
jumps over the barricade and runs
back into the fracas
in front of the line of orcs
that was just hit by a boulder.
Unfortunately, he isn't within range to do anything,
but again, falls to the wall,
jumping right in the middle of the fracas.
Yeah.
Round nine.
Why is it round nine?
Because when you guys finish that last wave of orcs,
I gave you a second to kind of regroup and make a couple decisions.
Who needs healing?
It sped up to a couple rounds, so now you are in round nine.
First things first.
Here are the reals.
The two orcs in the back that were on the left side flank,
so the ones that got hit by the boulder,
they start to get up and immediately die.
That was their action.
So they are dead.
Question for you.
It's raining.
Alchemical fire on the boulder.
Is it maybe leaping off Fantasia style onto the other works?
No. No? No.
No.
Troy is never going to allow that to happen.
The thing you have to know about Troy is he is absolutely inconsistent whenever it suits his purposes.
Because if I tried to pour water on you when you're covered with alchemical fire, it explodes and kills everyone.
But if a giant boulder is covered with alchemical fire and it's raining, nothing happens.
Well, to be fair, the rain was flavor.
The rain was just because Joe had a rain sound effect.
Because Cyrus gave him a awesome rain sound effect.
Well, the rain sounds great.
So let's blame Joe for my lack of creativity.
Let's call a spade a spade.
Angry skid.
Angry Galabras.
Okay, so the...
Shut up, Pala.
The orc in the front, who got hit by the boulder,
takes a step up towards Omast and dies.
And then the guy behind him is like,
I probably shouldn't do that.
So I'm just going to chuck something at Omast.
Anything? Anything at all?
He's shooting his composite shortbow.
Ooh, a 20 definitely hits.
So he just crunched Omast for four points of damage.
Your old buddy Ommas. Just kidding.
Nicked and knocked.
Okay, so now the right side that hasn't been... Our left side.
Your left.
Yeah.
Stage right.
They start all breaking up and rushing towards the barricade.
This first one, the leader jumps over, and then the guy behind him closes the...
The first guy provokes. All right, so the first guy jumps over the barricade, and then the guy behind him closes the door. The first guy provokes.
All right, so the first guy jumps over the barricade, and in doing so, provokes an attack of opportunity from Baron.
Make it count.
As a swift action, I reload my pistol.
But you can't, I don't think.
I don't think you can take a swift action as part of an attack of opportunity.
No, you can't.
All right, so his pistol's not ready, so you can only take a standard action.
So you're in the clear.
Pistol whip him.
Yeah, that's true. You can do that. Oh, fuck yes. That would be awesome. I'm pistol whipping this ready. So only take a standard action. So you're in the clear. Pistol whip him. Yeah.
That's true.
You can do that.
That would be awesome.
I'm pistol whipping this motherfucker.
Fucking do that.
22.
Oh, sorry.
Miss.
Miss.
I should also mention the one that attacked Omas right after he attacked Omas and hit him for however many damage.
Four.
He died immediately.
Omas died?
No, not Omos.
Yay!
Yay, he's down!
No, just kidding.
We need him right now.
Yeah, let's just get to the end of the battle before he dies.
Okay.
So the first orc on the other side of the battle ram rushes up, jumps over.
Baron fumbles with his pistol, tries to pistol whip him, misses,
and the guy attacks Baron with his falchion. Six.
No, that doesn't hit.
The second guy comes up
with a greataxe. But I don't get
an attack of opportunity against him.
No, because you only get one.
Unless you have that feat that allows you to... Improved attack
or whatever. Combat reflexes.
It's cold. The next dude comes up with his
greataxe. Eighteen to hit.
Missed.
18 misses?
Thanks to Skid's shield of, what was it called?
Faith.
Shield of Faith.
Shield of Faith.
Holy snapdragon.
We're all buffed up right now.
Doesn't it protect you?
I'm so sorry that the bombardier didn't want to shoot you, jerks.
The third guy comes up and starts climbing over the log pile that Gormley's standing in front of.
Like a mad guy. Orc!
Like a madman. Some sort of orc.
The fourth guy comes up to the side
and is taking aim
on Gormley with a crossbow
while the other guy
follows, takes
steps towards
Omas to attack Omas.
So the crossbow on...
Whatever the hell your name is.
Gormley.
17.
Excuse me, I say crossbow.
Composite short post.
17 to hit.
It hits.
It hits?
What happened to your great armor?
Where's the...
I have a 17 AC with the mage armor.
Oh, son of a beach.
Another one. Another one.
Another arrow right on the other side between your shoulder blade,
excuse me, the front of your shoulder and your lung for seven points of damage.
God damn.
Gormley's hurting pretty bad right now, but not unconscious.
The other guy comes up.
She just took 16 points of damage. The other dude comes up. She just took 16 points of damage.
The other dude comes up and attacks Omas with a spike chain.
Like a biker gang.
And misses Omas.
And then your old pal in mind, the bombardier,
he goes to shoot Gormley again.
She's crouched behind the... Oh, that's right, you're crouched.
So he will...
Could she even be the target of that crossbow?
She was crouched?
Yeah, because he's right up on her.
But yeah, you're right to say the bombardier wouldn't be in range.
Oh, well, even the guy who shot those should still roll on defense.
On cover.
Yeah, yeah, on cover.
67.
Okay, the bombardier is going to shoot at Baron,
but he's taking a minus four because Baron is involved in melee.
16.
Does not hit.
Yes!
I rolled a 19, not adjusted, but that minus four is all it took.
Wow.
And now it is Lork.
Lork is going to go at the orc that shot the crossbow at Gormley the second time, who's kind of out in the open.
Now, is this an emotional vendetta you have against this guy?
Well, he is protecting Gormley, but he knows that it's the easiest shot.
And when he does rapid shot, he takes a penalty to hit.
So he's going to take two shots.
He wants to take it at somebody that isn't attacking one of his friends because he might miss and hit his friend.
So he's going to go kind of shoot over the pile with his longbow at the guy in the back who shot it.
Now, don't forget, where you are farther away, the guy that you're attacking has cover against you.
Okay.
Miss.
Second shot.
Oh, wait, wait.
I have a good one for this.
Long bow.
And then just...
Miss.
Miss again.
Miss again.
Yep.
Double.
The second one missed on cover.
It went...
Oh, no. Right in the barricade.
I rolled a 13.
I am so unlucky with cover.
It's awful.
You're unlucky generally.
Yeah.
I need to roll 21 or over it.
I rolled the one before I rolled 23.
Hey, Joe, I just wanted to ask if you wanted to try a stealth check next
because you're really great at those usually, too.
Christ.
So, Gormley, as you're crouched there, you just
see an arrow come from behind. Friendly fire.
Right in the wood next
to you.
This is not my day. What are you doing? Shoot at
them! You know what? If there was
an infant nearby for us to shoot, it would
have hit it, but...
We killed them all.
Alright, so it's going to be Baron's turn.
Baron's going to take a five-foot step back to avoid attacking...
Avoid an attack of opportunity.
Straight back or diagonally back?
Diagonally back.
Okay.
Swift, rapid reload.
Classic.
He is going to get up close and deadly, shoot the door, orc,
diagonal to him. Shoot the door down.
So this is the first orc that
jumped over the wall. Right.
What do you...
Do you say something cool?
I say...
Here we go.
Nobody...
Nobody puts baby in the corner.
You're really like kind of losing the thread here.
I think with some of these things you're saying.
I want to say squeal like a pig every time.
It's not even going to make sense.
Where's the beef?
Okay, he doesn't know what to say.
How do you like pink apples?
Did you squeeze the Charmin?
You might be green on the outside, but I know you're pink inside.
Ooh.
All right, all right.
That's pretty good.
Prove it.
We'll keep that one.
15.
15.
Touch AC.
Hits.
Hits the orc I refer to affectionately as Six.
Oh, no, the girl from Blossom?
Yep.
Oh, no.
She got hit.
I had a crush on her.
Seven points of damage.
Whoa.
Well, if you need a grip point, you just got it back,
because you knocked that mofo down to the necks.
Nice, and he's one step away from anybody.
How many swift actions can you take in a round?
One. Not sure really swift, but he's one step away from anybody. How many swift actions can you take in a round? One.
Unless you're really swift, then you can still take one.
You know, that's something that we've never explained.
We've never explained the action economy.
Please, explain it so I can take a second to manage my orcs.
So it's basically like the whole idea of your turn
is that you can do a limited amount of things
within the brief seconds that represent your turn.
And you can take a move action, or you can take two move actions.
You can also take a standard action, but you can't take a move action,
a standard action and move again.
You can only do one move action, one standard action.
Standard action is like swinging your sword, shooting your bow, opening a door,
something that takes some sort of effort and concentration.
And then you have swift actions, which you hear Baron say all the time as he reloads his weapon,
which swift action you can do in addition to a move and a standard,
but you can only do one per round.
Then you heard me mention as Lork that he got quick draw,
which allows him to draw a weapon as a free action.
Free action is sort of like a swift action,
except that you can do as many as you want in a turn.
So a lot of times for a lot of DMs, free actions are like saying something to your friends
or doing a knowledge check, like a perception check during a turn.
I want to do perception, see what kind of armor he's wearing before I swing.
That doesn't take your whole turn.
It's a free action, and you can swing.
So you have to limit your resources each turn in what they call an action economy, basically.
And there's two others.
There's full retreat, which is two move actions, and there's full attack rounds.
Full withdrawal.
Right.
Full withdrawal.
Which means you can run away without provoking attack of opportunity.
And then, yeah, Lork's two shots, for example, with the rapid shot is called a full attack action,
which is if you don't move at all, as you get into higher levels,
you can do much more powerful and double attacks and triple attacks and stuff like that if you don't move.
Or you can take a five-foot step and do it.
Yeah, like a quick slide.
Quick slide and do it.
Oh, man, the discovery of the five-foot step.
I remember when we discovered that in the game.
If I did one swift action,
I took a five-foot step and fired.
Could I?
No.
That was a move action, yeah.
The five-foot step.
For example, Dormley's cackle is a move action.
That's an example of the economy.
It's an ability, but it takes up her move action.
If she both does an evil eye and cackles,
she then can't move.
Most of my hexes,
I think all my hexes but cackle are standard actions.
Right, so the hex is the standard, then the cackle is a move,
so you can do both in one turn.
Right.
And there'll be a quick quiz at the end of the battle.
I'm sure you've been following.
I have no idea whose turn it is.
Orc time.
Baron just went.
Baron just went, so now it is.
You got something you want to say?
No.
You got something you want to say to me, Joe?
I just thought it was going to be, what's his face's turn?
Omos.
Oh, he hasn't gone in a while.
No, he jumped over the barricade his last turn.
Right.
But he hasn't gone in a while.
No, okay, well, it's Gormley's turn.
It's coming up.
Yep.
All right.
We got one orc on the log pile, right?
We got one orc on the log pile, and then one orc that would also be affected by it.
So you have two orcs that would be affected by the wood pile being cut.
Gormley's going to yank out her hope knife.
You son of a bitch!
You old sea dog!
Slip the hope knife right underneath the rope and yank it and cut the rope.
Nice!
And then for her move action, she's going to get out of there.
But let's see what happens with the locks first.
Uh, that is, uh, that is
a bold move, my friend. Uh, didn't you say
so, what does it take to cut the ropes?
Two people, one round?
Two people, one round, one person, two rounds
or you can just cut it. Okay. Uh, with
a slashing weapon. Uh,
you cut it, you hit them both
and it deals 2d8 damage.
Would you like to do the honors?
You can roll hard.
They are fucking big-ass logs.
Don't you have a cool sound for this?
For logs?
Let's see what the damage is.
I don't, I'm sorry.
I mean, it's somewhere on here, but I don't know where it is fast enough.
Come on, man.
Come on, man.
Do you have the log song from Ren and Stimpy, at least?
It rolls downstairs.
Good enough. 8 points of damage. 8 points of damage brings them both into the negative. it rolls downstairs good enough
8 points of damage
brings them both into the negative
fuck yes
so right now
there's only 2 orcs remaining
plus the bombardier
alright so it brings them both
into the negative
the one in the front
falls prone and as we know in the past on his next turn he's going to get up and die the guy in the back gets hit below the negative. The one in the front falls prone. And as we know in the past, on his next turn, he's going to get up and die.
The guy in the back gets hit below the negative, but is still standing.
Brutal move by Gormley.
And for her move action, Gormley's going to move back near Galabras.
Okay.
So you, Galabras, and Lork have your backs against the further barricade.
What we're going to call against the further barricade,
what we're going to call the westernmost barricade.
Meanwhile, Omas is standing in the fray and Baron is about five feet away from the easternmost barricade.
And we have one, two, three, four orcs still standing
and the bombardier way in the back.
And then off in the distance you see the flaming boulders starting to peter out.
And almost all of those orcs are in orc ferocity mode now, right?
No, the only ones that are in orc ferocity are the two that...
Just got hit by the logs.
What about the one I shot? That one's in orc ferocity, too.
No, you only did...
Yeah, no, you said it was.
Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.
Yeah, so he's in ferocity, which that's the guy that jumped over the barricade.
Yeah, the first guy over. Yes. I call him Six. The v Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, so he's in Ferocity, which that's the guy that jumped over the barricade. Yeah, the first guy over.
Yes.
I call him Siv.
The vanguard.
Yes, I'm sorry.
So he's in Orc Ferocity, and then the two that just got hit by the logs are in Orc Ferocity.
And now, speaking of Ferocity, it's Galabras' turn.
All right, so Galabras is going to say a silent prayer in his head.
Lift his hands, lift his palms and channel
positive energy
to heal
his friends. And again.
That's amazing.
Isn't that awesome? Thank you. Thank you, Joe.
Is OMAST involved in that?
Yes, OMAST. It sure is.
So again, I'm using my gold-plated
replica Roman dice
And now it's two
Five. Everybody gets five points
of healing
Thank you, Galabras
Crushing move
You can still take a move action
I'm going to stay put
Gorma says
Thanks, boy.
You're welcome, boy.
You're welcome, witch.
Omast grabs the orc that's standing in front of him
and, again, heaves him over the barricade at you guys.
Oh, I love it.
He says, I would have done this to your mother, too.
Blah.
Oh, that is so huge.
That's so huge.
That's so huge, because he basically put them right in front of Lork.
Right, so now he can battleaxe him.
So that was Omas' move.
Okay, round ten for the Battle of Bloodmarsh Hill.
Okay, the orc that hadn't jumped over the barricade, he now jumps over, uh,
and engages with Baron, and swings
his penis.
Where is my thing?
Uh, yes. He swings
his, uh,
spiked chain
14. A miss.
Man!
When you swing at a dwarf and you can't hit his face, that's a miss when you swing at a dwarf
and you can't hit his face
that's a miss
let's leave this singing to skin
and then the other one
fuck you O'Brien
hey
I'm on Joe's side with this one
with his dying action throws a javelin at Baron
and also misses and then dies
there we go there's so many bodies of orcs With his dying action, throws a javelin at Baron and also misses and then dies.
Yeah!
There we go.
There are so many bodies of orcs.
Littering the battlefield. We're going to get a good shot of this later.
Troy is tracking where every corpse has fallen.
And it looks like a checkerboard.
The entire field, there's bodies everywhere.
This is awesome.
Speaking of bodies, here's another one.
Because the one that Gormley knocked over with the logs
goes to stand up and dies.
That was the one that was standing on top of the logs.
He was like, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.
Yeah, he slipped down and, like,
he slid like a lumberjack for a while.
He got ground up, like, in the logs,
like, as he fell in.
Oh, gross.
Great.
And then the one that is,
that just got thrown over the barricade by Omast,
he is going to attack.
Actually, he's going to step up to Lork.
Then he provokes.
Away from Omast.
Yes, so Omast will swing at him.
Why?
Because he was in direct melee combat with Omastmas and he left it for no apparent reason.
I had to go fight someone else so he gets swung at.
They are a haphazard group of fighters.
And Omas swings
and misses
with his greatsword. A rare mist
from O... A mist. A rare mist
into my mic. O-mist.
And then he swings
his falchion at Lork. Fumbles. Oh, missed. And then he swings his falchion at Lork.
Fumbles.
Oh!
God, Troy.
These guys.
I'll confirm the fumble.
Terrible.
To be fair.
No.
No, we don't do that until sixth level.
Oh, that's right.
Just for the gunslinger.
Here's your fumble card, Troy.
Fumble card.
Man, these orcs are...
Actually, they're perfectly orc.
This is exactly what happens
Against a bunch of heroes
Please
Falchion is melee
Awkward attack
You take a minus two penalty
To AC
For three rounds
He's like
Whoa
Whoa
Whoa
Whoa
That was awkward
Thank you
Paisel fumble cards
So now he's all off balance there
And Lorca's gonna murder him
I'm gonna kill
the shit out of this guy.
And the last guy there
who got hit by the logs
and with his
dying move, he
takes a shot at
Baron.
Because Baron is the closest
one. Oh, wait a minute
here. Oh, wait a minute here.
Oh, it's a minus one,
so it's going to be an 18.
Does not hit.
Unbelievable!
It hits his face.
It misses Baron and it hits Gormley in the back.
Son of a bitch!
Riddled with arrows.
Okay, and then the bombardier steps up
into the...
He now steps past the broken portcullis, and you see him...
Oh, no, not again.
Oh, no.
Lighting something on fire.
Oh, no, we're all standing.
We're all clumped up.
Fire in the hole!
Fire in the hole!
Fire in the hole!
Now it's Lork's turn.
Okay, Lork is going to... Now that this guy got all up in his face,
he drops his longbow down to the ground,
slides, takes a five-foot step,
and draws out his masterwork battleaxe off of his back
and cuts down at this dude.
Bring him down! Bring him down!
19 to hit.
Well, of course, especially with the minus two to AC him down! 19 to hit. Well, of course.
Especially with the minus two to AC, that is a definite hit.
And does
12 points of damage.
He is bloodied and about
to fall to one knee.
Baron.
Baron takes a five foot step backward,
rapid reloads, whips
his pistol at the orc
immediately next to him and
fires.
He just says
to the gentleman,
you done fucked with the wrong dwarf.
After he fires.
After he fires. Did he fires. Yeah.
Did you miss?
15.
15 to touch AC hits.
Yeah.
That is four points of damage.
Four points of damage.
He is still alive.
And it is Gormley's turn.
There are two orcs at the barricades right now, and then the bombardier holding something that he's lit on fire,
which you probably know to be what he chucked at Gormley before.
And everybody else is dead.
You guys have already wiped out seven of the orcs that were on the battering ram.
Okay, Gormley is going to...
Damn it.
He's going to damn it?
He's going to build a dam!
Gormley's going to fire a crossbow at the orc that Baron just shot.
Okay.
Kill him.
Ten to hit.
Ah, that is a miss.
Hits the barricade.
I could not be rolling worse right now. She'll reload.
Galabras.
Galabras is going to yell,
Fire in the hole
And he's going
He's standing on one side
Of the barricade
He's going to jump
To the other side
Of the barricade
And fire at the orc
So wait
The orc who is fighting
Lork is
Is still up
Yes
He's still above zero
Yes
He's going to fire
Fire at him
And your favorite thing
He is in melee combat
With Lork
But No no no Yeah I'm going to fire at him. And your favorite thing, he is in melee combat with Lork, but...
Oh, fuck, right.
No, no, no.
Yeah, I'm going to shoot
at the one that was
menacing Baron.
Okay, yeah, that one,
because Baron took
the five-foot step,
he is unattended.
Ah, I missed.
Okay.
We're missing now, too.
A lot of ranged combat
in this battle.
You guys are playing
very interesting.
Yeah.
Has any of you stepped
in front of the
easternmost barricade yet?
No. Besides O yet? No.
Besides Omast.
No.
Bold, bold.
But now there's a big gaping hole in the front, in the eastern barricade.
Omast.
Omast starts closing the distance between he and the bombardier.
And now it is round 11.
Omos should be able to get right up in his face with a double move, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, but he wants to leave range for you guys so that you're not...
Okay.
You know what I mean?
Yep.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, also keep in mind that that guy is going to, if he's got a bomb in his hand,
he's going to provoke an attack if Omos is in melee range.
Omos would probably try to cut him before he could throw a bomb, don't you think?
Yeah, that's true.
Okay. Yeah, he could throw a bomb. Don't you think? Yeah, that's true. Okay.
Yeah, he can make it there.
All right, so Omos
gets right up in his
jimmy jam there
and hopefully he'll threaten him
and he won't be able
to throw the bomb at us.
No, he's going to
toss him over the barricade
like he has every other
fucking one
with the bomb.
No, Omos, not that one!
Actually, you know what?
I think Omos has the room
to do this.
Omos is going to attempt to sunder the armor of the...
Oh, that's cool.
Of the orc.
See, we never do this.
Of the orc bombardier.
So sunder is where you basically damage the armor so that their armor class goes down, right?
Yeah.
You try to break the straps on their armor to make it ineffective.
And he succeeds.
Yeah!
Thumbs up.
Huge.
So the AC of the bombardier has gone down.
It's a good thing we gave him that shit to make him sober.
Yeah.
And to think you didn't want to soothe him up.
I know, I know.
I hate giving NPCs consumables.
I know, but...
Round 11.
Two orcs and a bombardier left.
Okay, so the orc next to Mr. Lork,
with his dying move, as usual,
critical threat.
Oh, no!
Confirms with 20 ejected.
Well, does 20 hit?
No. 20 doesn't hit? No, because it's got the bark skin. Well, is 20 hit? No.
20 doesn't hit?
No, because it's got the bark skin.
Wow.
Okay, so it's just...
I am Groot!
Exactly.
So it's just double damage.
Just double damage.
No, it's just single damage.
Yeah.
Oh, because it's not a...
Oh, it's just a hit.
It wasn't a crit.
It was a regular hit.
You're right.
Sorry.
I got a lot of things I'm juggling over here.
Eleven points of damage.
It's still pretty bad.
Swings the falcon.
And then he falls to the ground and dies.
That's Lork again.
Once again.
That's Lork, you racist.
Once again, guys.
All these pawns look the same to me.
Troy just pulled Lork's character off the mat instead of the orc he killed. Sorry, sorry. It's my racist joke. Come on. Troy just pulled Lork's character off the mat
instead of the orc he killed.
Sorry, sorry. It's my father talking.
Poor Lork.
He's had to put up with so much of this.
He's Atticus Finch in Ghosts at a Watchman.
Not to kill a mockingbird.
Topical
reference.
This guy here with his
good old spiked chain.
No, excuse me. This is Great Axe Guy.
I think.
No, it's spiked chain.
This is number... No, not number six.
I got him. Spiked chain.
19 to hit Baron.
Exactly a hit.
Oh my goodness.
Nothing ever hits Baron.
Okay.
Wait, 19 was not a hit before.
Did your Shield of Faith run out?
Or did you lie to me?
Did you lie before?
Oh, maybe I lied.
Just roll like 10d6.
Lorik, we're friends now.
I gave you whiskey when your son got murdered in front of you
also 11 points of damage to them
it's a good thing this hasn't happened very often that they've actually been able to hit us well
that's why i'm that's why i was like push the boulder push the logs like we don't know yeah
something tougher might come through but there are two arrows sticking out of gormley's chest
yeah meanwhile gormley is riddled with arrows.
Like a practice
dummy. Don't worry, guys. Took them for the team.
Hey, you're the one that
got up front.
Okay, it is the bombardier's
turn, and he throws
a bomb directly
at
Lork.
Actually, no.
He throws it
at Gormley.
So he provokes.
He provokes.
So he provokes from Omas.
Omas swings his greatsword and hits him.
Yes.
There we go.
Hits him bad, because Omas does
significant damage.
Alright, and Omas does...
Omas does 15 points of damage!
Finally!
Finally!
Nice.
15...
I rolled a...
It was 2d6.
I rolled a 6 and a 5.
Yeah, and just to be clear, Omas ran all the way down some 50 feet to fight this guy right
near the gate.
So he's all the way up near the front gate.
We're all the way back.
Hopefully nothing horrible comes through that gate and
eats him. Well, this is like Aragorn
at the Battle of Helm's Deep, like when the
orcs breach the wall, and he's
standing behind it with all the elves, and he charges
down the slope.
Wow.
Okay, so that guy is still alive,
but just took a massive hit.
And now the bomb is coming right for Gormley.
I'm sorry, Gormley, you're right in the middle there.
You're the most prime target.
Ran for the healer.
That's what I was doing.
I'm going to assume this is a miss.
A 15?
15 misses.
Whoa.
All right, but what damage did we take from the bomb?
Yeah, a little splash damage.
First I've got to see where it ends up.
Right.
Okay, so...
Yeah, because it could land in a square that somebody else is in.
It goes here, right at your face, and misses and lands right to your left.
And explodes.
And it's going to deal damage to Baron, Galabras, and Gormley.
It's going to do four points of damage.
Now, I'm standing behind the barricade, so does that make any difference?
Three-foot barricade. Are you crouched behind it?
I mean,
that was my intention, but...
Nope.
You know what? We'll go four...
Actually, you can all roll a reflex save for it.
You can have the damage with a reflex save.
Nope.
Sixteen on the reflex save for Gormley.
Sixteen. You're good. So two points of damage to Gormley 16, you're good
So 2 points of damage to Gormley
4 points of damage to Baron
I'm only going to do 2 points of damage to Galabras
Because it would make sense that most of that flame
Would have been barricaded
And who said I wasn't a nice DM?
Fuck you
Everyone, everyone said that
Twitter is aghast
Okay, it is now Lork's turn.
All right.
Lork is going to charge.
Yeah, Lork will charge because he can get to that guy that's fighting Baron only if he charges, though.
So he'll charge.
Do you have a straight line to charge?
Oh, you do.
Yep.
So he'll charge in. And charging gives you what type of bonus? Plus two to charge. Oh, you do? Yep. So he'll charge in and
And charging gives you what type of bonus?
Plus two to hit. And you need to have
a straight, unimpeded line. And you can also do double
your move distance if you have a straight,
unimpeded line, which I did.
So he runs
at this guy with his
Masterwork Battle Axe.
16 to hit.
That's a hit.
And he does seven points of damage.
Takes him into the negative, the last remaining orc from the battering ram crew.
He rolled with a tight crew, and now he is in the neg.
All right, it is Baron's turn.
I don't think I can get within range of the bombardier,
so I'm going to take a 5 five foot step back from the orc.
Did you kill him?
He's in the negative.
I'm going to take a step back.
I'm going to swift reload.
And I'm going to say
dodge this.
Minus four.
Oh, okay.
Don't forget.
I rolled a 24. So 20. 20 but 21. Don't forget. I rolled a 24,
so 20,
but 21 because I hate him.
Okay. He does get the
extra. That's true.
That's accurate. That's actually accurate.
Five points of damage. Five points
of damage. Okay. Oh, wait.
Can I still
do it up close and deadly? Not if you didn't
say it beforehand, bro
Gotta say it beforehand
Hits him pretty bad
So he gets smashed by Lork
Get hit with a bullet
And this is like the last orc
You can see him just like
He just wants to get one more hit in
He's gonna do 11 points of damage to Lork
Fuck
And now it's Gormley's turn
Gormley's turn.
Gormley's going to rush up to the barricade.
Or rather, she's going to... Hear the people sing!
And she's going to evil-eye the bombardier.
Okay.
Evil-eyeing the bombardier.
Crouch behind the barricade.
She's going to rush up, slide in with that cordon.
I think you're going to need to stand over the barricade if you's going to rush up, slide in with that board.
I think you're going to need to stand over the barricade if you want to see it.
It's only three feet tall.
So you're crouching, and what is it, a will save?
Yeah, to his AC.
Twelve.
Does not save.
Yeah.
All right.
Another minus two to his AC for six rounds.
Oh, this guy is just meat hanging in a window.
So he's at minus four
after the Sunder, right? Yep. Sweet.
Okay.
Galabras.
Galabras is
going to...
I think I'm going to channel again. What a guy.
What a guy. What a mensch.
Oh, eleven!
Eleven!
I just could listen to that over and over.
Tesla, heal my friends.
Eleven!
That affects everyone, right?
Yeah, that's all of us.
Except it does not affect Omos.
But you brought Omos up to max with your last channel.
I don't give a shit about NPCs.
And he hasn't been hit yet, right?
No, not since he's been healed.
Okay, and now it is Omas' turn.
And Omas swings
his falchion,
his greataxe,
to permakill, and he hits him.
I think his AC
is about 8 right now.
And he straight up murders the boss.
Yeah!
Look at him.
You didn't like Omas, huh?
What a guy.
I got one!
I got one!
He yells.
That's a great kid.
Don't get cocky.
Round 12.
The orc that is standing in front of Lork and Baron.
I forgot that there was still one alive.
Yep, the one that has won his last move.
He swings his...
This is Spike Chain Guy, right?
No, he had a falchion before.
This is Falchion Guy?
Yeah.
Okay.
17.
Miss.
17.
Right off the chain mail.
Miss again.
And then he dies.
Oh, it's a breastplate.
off the chainmail.
Misses it. Chain.
Kring!
And then he dies.
Oh, it's a breastplate.
And for a moment,
you all have a second
to do what you need to do.
Lork,
you hear
da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum
things coming at you.
Lork, what do you do?
What do you do, Lork?
Uh, Lork, uh,
returns to the back.
He,
Almost!
Return to the barricade!
And he, uh,
picks up his
long, uh,
longbow that he dropped.
Okay.
And readies the longbow.
Readies the longbow.
Okay, Baron?
Baron will also
get over to the other side of the barricade,
get close to the other guys,
and he will rapid reload.
It's nice and quiet now.
It's the rain washing the blood
of the orc's bodies
down the slope.
And witch bodies.
And witch bodies.
Rivulets of dark
orc blood
stream down
the muddy slope
to the portcullises
that have been broken.
That was nice.
Is that Jack London?
Yeah.
Is that a skid original?
Jack Galarian.
Jack Absalom. Jack Absalom Jack Absalom
Gormley will also
get back behind
the barricade
and
be ready
with the crossbow
always be ready
always be
I move
so I can't
ready in action
right
or are we
playing loosey-goosey
with us?
Well, this is between rounds.
This is still in combat.
Oh, we are?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
I mean, if we're all readying actions,
she'll ready an action as well.
If she sees an enemy,
she's going to shoot with her crossbow.
Okay.
And Galabras?
Galabras is, he's right now,
Baron, Galabras, Gormley, and Lork are standing all in a row behind the second barricade.
Galabras is going to move past Gormley to the other side of Lork and touch him on the shoulder for a bit of luck.
Oh, awesome.
May your arrows fly true.
Oh, awesome. Walmos is still up at the gate. luck. Awesome. May your arrows fly true. Awesome.
Well, Omos is still up at the gate.
Is he going to come back with us? Omos, being
the fucking genius tactician that he is,
tactician, he is
going to step
to his right and kind
of stealth
next to the tower so that if anything else comes
through the gate, they're going to see you guys way in the background
behind that second barricade, but they won't even see
him coming. So if anything else, he could
then come around and get them from the rear.
So this is like Lord of the Rings with
Gimli and Aragorn.
Or no, I was going to say with
Faramir, when they're all behind the
walls in Asciliath,
and the orcs run through, and they let
a bunch go first,
and then they come in from behind them
and start hacking them all down.
Yeah, totally, totally.
Well, here's a question for you.
These towers, do they have doors?
Can you get in them?
They have doors that look like they've been beaten in.
And you see bodies, like I said,
in one of the ones up in the window,
you see one of the Trinan guards,
his body's like half hanging out.
And then in front of the door of the other one there's like two uh guards bodies so you assume that
these towers have been cleaned out of the guards do we do we want to get someone down there well
i think i see what you're what you're thinking but i think it's uh and it could it could work
but it's a problem because like i say if if you and me went up into each tower,
I would be limited in the support that I could give with my spells.
And then if someone comes up into the tower, if an orc comes up for either of us, then we're screwed.
I mean, I'm considering it because I can, from the tower, have a good advantage to evil eye.
He just wants to levitate, let's be honest.
Well, I don't need to levitate if I can get up there now, but if I need to get out, I can always jump out the window.
Oh my god, I just got it.
I just got it.
It's like Gormley is alone atop the tower, laughing into the wind.
Exactly.
And looking down and just hexing all these orcs that are right up there.
It's pretty cool, but it is so dangerous.
It is very dangerous. That would be badass.
And I don't think there's time.
Oh, yeah. That would be the question.
So, Troy, as we're talking about this,
we've paused the story for...
We're in seconds right now, right?
I'm pausing at the end of round 12.
It's not like we have five minutes to get a strategy plan.
But, yeah, you can't talk strategy.
But you said something about...
Like, we heard...
At least something else was
coming right right so um next wave so what what you know what lork is going to say gormley is
like kind of getting edgy a little bit he's just going to put his hand on her uh deflated breast
and just say i don't know why you think they're just say you never leave a point of a defensive
position for no reason i think that we're in a good position.
We'll let them come to us, and then we can gauge what we want to do.
We're behind a barricade.
It's a smart position.
We really need to take a second here.
So obviously, in real time, this is all happening.
But let's just take a second and look at what's happened.
So you guys came here.
OMAS said, all right, here's what's going on.
We've got a boulder.
We've got logs.
We've got these weapons that do reach and disarm and trip.
And then the first wave came out. Six or logs. We got these weapons that do reach and disarm and trip. Uh,
and then the first wave came out six orcs and you guys F them up.
And I think in like three or four rounds.
And then,
uh,
the bombardier came out,
came out with like three more orcs and you guys fucked up the first three orcs that were shooting,
uh,
short bows at you guys.
And then the bombardier kind of retreated a little bit,
but then he came back out behind nine more orcs who picked up the battering ram
that the first six orcs had dropped in the first wave
and rammed up to the gate,
and you took out all of them in one fell swoop with the boulder
and then eventually cut the rest down in another few rounds.
So now the battlefield is littered with the bodies of orcs.
I just counted it, and there's 17 bodies.
17 bodies!
Orc bodies on the ground.
I love it!
I love the carnage.
It's so satisfying.
We need to check in with the mental state of each PC.
What's happening in Lork's brain?
I think Lork is a bit on autopilot.
He certainly has not thought about his son for the last several minutes.
Well, I guess it's only been a couple minutes, really.
But he's just like, I don't think he's thinking about him.
He's thinking about his friends in combat right now.
Because, you know, you've got to close that shit off.
I mean, he's been out fighting with companions
that have died in front of him,
and the enemy is still up, and he's still got to fight.
So he kind of knows how to close it off and focus.
And for right now,
his,
his main objective is really to just protect the,
protect the town and stop the siege.
And so far,
like we're doing really well.
So he's feeling very confident right now.
Um,
and from an orc sort of like the orc side of them,
it's just like hungry for like more battle.
Like he just wants,
he's like,
I can't wait to see what comes to that gate. He's not scared at all.
He's ready to die for it.
What about Gormley?
I think Gormley's getting a little
lost in the bloodlust. I mean, she took
two fucking arrows to the chest
and then she just charged right up
and kept fighting. And then she let
the logs fly.
I think she's getting into the chaotic
side of her. Let loose the logs of war. Cry havoc. And let loose the logs fly. I think she's getting into the chaotic side of her. Let loose the logs of war.
Cry havoc.
Let loose the logs of war.
I got to picture her laughing as she releases
those logs.
She does kind of enjoy
the carnage, like Skid does.
Yeah, I do.
I think she gets a kick out of it.
Yeah, I mean,
I think because of her role as a debuffer, I think she gets a kick out of it. Yeah. I mean, I think because of her role as a debuffer,
I think she kind of enjoys the game of it
and the thrill of getting shot twice.
The chaos, like creating chaos.
Creating chaos, yeah.
And getting to be lording over it a little bit.
I have to think, too, for Gormley,
she left True Now to go up to the mountains
and has always felt like a bit of an outcast.
And now she is in the
center of protecting a town that
she always felt like not
a part of. Don't you feel like there's something...
That's interesting.
I think Gormley is more
attached to these people around her
than she is the town. I mean, that said,
a
Belkson world where True Now
is overrun by orcs
is not necessarily a great world for
Gormley. There's no point
of human contact. If this town
goes away, it's just Freedom Town and
Last Wall, right?
It's kind of like the Old West.
This gets overrun.
There's literally nowhere to go to check in
with civilization.
What about Baron?
Baron has a huge raging boner which is really appropriate for skid's nickname for me because he fucking hates
orcs he has gained respect and affection to some degree whatever whatever that is, for a wandering vigilante to
kill orcs for a half-orc and lork.
But
he is not only excited that he
has killed and helped kill and
disadvantaged all these orcs, he's
thrilled that his technological
marvel in his handgun has
terrified them and dazzled them all.
He is super
fucking excited.
I know Gormley got singled out
a lot last episode, but
he got attacked a ton in this
episode and was matrixing the
shit out of all the attacks.
He's moving around on stage and doing
a soft shoe like James Brown.
He's like, can I hit it and crit?
Can I hit it and crit? Can I take it to the bridge?
I said, can I take it to the bridge?
Take it to the bridge.
So he is loving this, and right now he might be overconfident,
but he's just like, I'm going to fucking kill anyone,
and he's very happy to be with these other people
that also want to kill green-skinned things.
Yeah, I think just to jump on with that, it just reminded me of something.
And I mean, I sort of said it, but that orc side of Lork is like,
orcs love killing other orcs.
You know what I mean?
They're a very war-like society.
And it's like there's this glory to be had in battle kind of thing
by taking out another tribe.
So yeah, he just loves this litter of bodies in front of him but i mean he's not you know overjoyed in that sense
he's just like he's ready for more like his adrenaline is all firing and in a good way right
and uh on that note um baron's not lost in this at all he's thinking about what's coming next
if appropriate he'd love to know if he could do a perception
or survival check to hear
what might be coming over the
surrounding, like if he can tell their gigantic
feet or anything like that.
If he could get a beat on it for one second.
What the hell?
Survival or perception?
Well, let's talk to Galabras for a second.
I'm going to do that right after I check in with old Galabras Poundstone.
What's going on with you?
Motherfucker. Hello. What's going on with you? Motherfucker.
Hello.
What is the deal with tampons?
Don't keep beating him down.
Then Skid won't talk.
He closes up like a turtle.
If you're checking in with Skid, Skid hates all of you for those fucking nicknames.
Skid hates all of you for those fucking nicknames.
Galabras is, I think he's just running on adrenaline for one thing right now, because he's not a hardy person.
He has an average constitution.
He's been beaten down.
He's going to be completely spent and exhausted after all this.
This is nothing like he's ever experienced before.
And I think he's also been so...
I can only imagine how sad and lonely he's felt for months after everything that he's been through
and not being around his family and not knowing anyone.
And the only people that he's spent any time with are his tormentors and other strangers.
And now he's finally, for the first time in his life, literally fighting shoulder to shoulder with people that he's growing to respect and to like and i think that like this
is and and also like through all this he's feeling desna's hands in in everything like he he feels
this when he channels a positive energy like he's feeling desna's divine will like go through his
body and seeing its effect and like and the touch of luck and everything.
Kind of rekindling his faith a little bit too.
So he has
a newfound faith in his
deity that he thought he
was losing. And he also has a newfound faith
in his new friends.
Do you think there's a part of him that's
watching this all go down and afraid
that these orcs could end up
killing his friends and taking you and going through the same experience again, but with orcs.
Oh, yeah.
And then there's also a real desperation because he knows what it's like.
And to know that it would be worse.
Like an orc love slave.
Yeah.
And to lose the only home that he has left, the thought of that is terrifying.
But he can't even think about that now.
home that he has left the thought of that is terrifying but he can't even think about that now like i think like everyone else like he's only focused on the gate and what's coming through
even though it's a partly necessity that you're fighting now just for you know basic survival
um after being a slave you kind of worked at the temple just as a means of survival. I'm wondering if you think Galabras appreciates just a self,
a sense of agency, a sense of being able to determine your own actions and kind of
plow your own way through this world instead of being passive and acted upon.
I think that's a good point too. I think that's definitely like a factor as well.
I mean, not for nothing, you've also stepped up in your own defense
and killed an enemy
and took that life all those episodes ago.
Yeah, and that's shaken him to the core of his being,
and he's still dealing with that, too.
A lot of complex emotions.
A lot of stuff going on.
I can only imagine what you guys are going to feel like
the morning after your first rest.
Yeah.
Seriously. If and when this battle ends. Yeah, at this point, I can't even see when that are going to feel like the morning after your first rest. Yeah. Seriously.
If and when this battle ends.
Yeah, at this point, I can't even see when that's going to be.
It's going to be a great sleep.
Six episodes from now when we actually finish this fight.
Let me get that perception check.
Joe, cue up some music.
Oh, this is good.
29. 29.
29.
What?
Critical perception.
Whoa, that's perfect perception, they call it in the business. You hear footsteps.
They do not sound giant in nature.
But with your keen perception, you see in the distance five figures coming at you through the portcullis.
At the beginning of round 13. First of all,
you see
three badass
looking orcs.
Be sure to check out the Tumblr
so you see what these guys look like.
They have three, they're
called pillums. They're like Roman
spears sticking
out of their back yeah and
a showtel which is like oh yeah you know it's like a hook almost like a sickle that you can
use to get around someone's guard and they are beefy they look like professional wrestlers they
look like uh world of warcraft like it's exactly Warhammer 40, yeah, or Warhammer, just Warhammer.
Three of them come.
Five of them, you said, right?
Three of them come through the gates.
Behind them, and you see Omast kind of back up against the tower,
because he's right on top of them all by himself,
and you guys are a good 40, 50 feet away,
and the more tanky among you realize you might have to close the gap
or Omast could die.
Behind
these three orc
shield breakers, as they're known,
you see another
female orc, similar to the one that you
saw in the green, coming out of the green
fire, and she's covered in
blood, reveling in the battle.
And she has, in one
hand, a bag of
heads. And you can tell
they're like heads of the Trunowan Guard
that she's carting around.
And at the other hand, she has a chain.
And you can't quite see what she's carrying
on the chain. But she breaks through the
remains of the portcullis
and releases the chain, and
coming charging right behind
the three orc shield breakers,
you see a giant lizard the size of Omast.
Get ready to roll for initiative next episode.
Fuck you! Outro Music