The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 26 - Assassin Skreed 2

Episode Date: November 24, 2015

The battle concludes as the party draws upon all their might in an attempt to cast down their adversary. But will they even stand a chance against this seemingly invincible foe? For more podcasts and ...livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This week on the highly anticipated sequel to Assassin's Creed. And then I'm going to move and cower next to Gil. What heroes? The heroes continue their desperate battle against Screed and need fate to be on their side. Hey, give him a bottle cap. Give this guy a bottle cap. You're going to get a ball cap one of these days. Knowing the battle could cost them their lives, the heroes swing for the fences.
Starting point is 00:00:27 Does. 46 points of challenge. Oh my god! Trying to turn the tables on Troy. All right, so five damage. Yeah. And then roll a Fortitude save. Yeah, you roll a Fortitude save for once.
Starting point is 00:00:41 Troy, you roll it. You roll it. And witness the gunslinger's boldest move yet? Oh! Amazing! Oh man! Phenomenal! Assassin's Creed 2 launches right now. No.
Starting point is 00:01:23 What is shaking, Glass Cannon Nation? It's your favorite, least favorite DM, Troy. Yay! All right, I'm going to keep this week's intro pretty short and sweet because we already made you wait a week for the thrilling second part of the battle with Screed. As always, a big thanks for your continued support of the show. I really mean it. We love all the tweets and the Facebook messages and the emails.
Starting point is 00:01:44 Keep them coming. And if you want to keep supporting, I know we sound like a broken record, but please leave us a review on iTunes or just grab your roommate's phone or your significant other's phone or just steal someone's phone at a Starbucks real quick and just leave us a review. It's all about numbers with iTunes. So if we can keep getting positive reviews on there and downloads, then we can keep moving up the charts so more people can find us and we can keep this going. And secondly, tell a friend, especially friends you know that have any type of commute to and fro work or whatever twice a day. I don't know. I feel like a podcast really makes time go by fast. And if every one of you recommended to a friend to subscribe to us and check us out, we would double in size as if someone cast a enlarged person spell on us.
Starting point is 00:02:29 Speaking of time going by fast, that's all for me today. The boss fight continues with episode 26, Assassin's Creed 2. And it is now Screed's turn. Let's see, This is round five So Lork is in Rough shape Screed
Starting point is 00:02:51 Throws A bomb Directly At Baron He's standing right there And he hits him. Brutal.
Starting point is 00:03:09 For 11 points of damage. Direct hit. Close range. I mean, Baron knew what he was getting into and just throws it right in his chest. DC 15 reflex save. I'm not sure why I came to... Reflex save Baron. DC 15 or you. I'm not sure why I came to... Reflex save, Baron. DC 15, or you will burst into flames.
Starting point is 00:03:30 He made it. 19. All right. People are taking their hits. Screed then... So brutal. Screed then takes a five-foot step backwards. He could have moved, but he just went five feet.
Starting point is 00:03:45 And it is Lork's turn. This is tense. I mean, you guys are controlling the battlefield here, but only one of these creatures has fallen, that dire wolf. Lork is going to keep going after the troll for the moment. He's beat up, but he's got... This is his favorite enemy, so he's going to try to take him troll for the moment. He's beat up, but he's got... This is his favorite enemy, so he's going to try to take him out
Starting point is 00:04:07 of the fight. Oh my god. 17. 17 hits the troll. She rolls. 17 points of damage. Nice. And the troll falls. But knowing how trolls are...
Starting point is 00:04:23 I know. I know. He's just... He does fall, though. He took a round off. And he goes prone. Into the water. But knowing how trolls are. I know. I know. He's just. He does fall, though. He took a round off. Yeah, and he goes prone, I would assume. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's down. You said 17 points of damage. 17.
Starting point is 00:04:34 That was actually pretty brutal. Let me make sure I didn't get below his con. I did not. So he falls. He might be out for a while because I think they get five points back per round. I think I may coup de grace him. Yeah, you should. That's a good idea.
Starting point is 00:04:47 So yeah, Lork strikes the flood troll with his greataxe. The flood troll falls into the water. And you can see the water. Blood just coming out of it. He's all burned. The water turns red around him, but you can see the water seeping into its body and healingly rejuvenating it.
Starting point is 00:05:06 And it's Baron's turn. Baron turns his head over his shoulder and asks Gal if healing is possible ever. In the middle of the spot. Yes. There you go. Can I go? I can do something Sure I'd like them
Starting point is 00:05:26 Sure Spot a healing If you don't mind I've got I've got lots of healing For you It's creepy So do you want to
Starting point is 00:05:35 But I can't I can't do it yet Because I've got my true strength So I've got to use it Yeah you've got to use that first Alright then just let me die first I get it Use it or lose it
Starting point is 00:05:44 Or you've got You've got potions. Yeah, or use a potion. Oh, well, fuck. I shoot at the wolf.
Starting point is 00:05:54 14? 14 against the dire wolf. Touch AC? Mm-hmm. Hits the dire wolf. Four points of damage.
Starting point is 00:06:06 Is that the first he's gotten hit? Yes, that's the first time said wolf. That's one fresh wolf. Oh, and then I'm going to move and cower next to Gil. Or as close as I can get within 20 feet. What heroes. Where are you going? Back up to Gil? Okay, speaking of Gil, who just cast True Strike on himself, Heroes. Where are you going? Back up to Gell?
Starting point is 00:06:25 Okay. Speaking of Gell, who just cast True Strike on himself, it is now your turn. We've lost our climactic music. Does Gormley get to go? There it is. Wait, Gormley, you're after Golavers. I'm after Golavers? Yes, because you... Remember, you held your turn.
Starting point is 00:06:38 Oh, I held, yeah. I'm going to fire my crossbow at the wolf standing right in front of me with a true strike. So it's a 32 to hit. Yep. You minus whatever that still hits. Five damage. Five damage. Nice, Skell.
Starting point is 00:06:54 All right. And now, and you move it off. Yeah, I'm going to take a five foot step back. Step back. It's crazy. This cavern is enormous. We're all packed into one corner. you guys are all packed in you know
Starting point is 00:07:06 this happens a lot in pathfinder like it just happens a lot and a lot of games i run there's like there's these great like arenas of battle and i just feel like you always end up like pushed into a corner or wedged against the wall and just full attack actioning full attack action everybody's standing still in front of each other that's each other, going toe-to-toe. One of the frequent complaints about the battle system in Pathfinder is that things have a tendency to get very static. Yeah. Because you're penalized
Starting point is 00:07:34 a lot, especially at higher levels for moving at all. Yeah. So it behooves you to try to stay in one place. Yeah, attack of opportunities make perfect sense from a logical standpoint, but I just think that maybe taking them out would make characters and players a lot freer to move around. Yeah, yeah. And monsters a lot freer to move out of tough situations.
Starting point is 00:07:51 Yeah, yeah. It's funny because I always said that. The other thing I've noticed is that in a couple of these big battle scenarios, we've been across those vast distances from the enemies. Right. And especially with all the ranged attacks they have, it doesn't make strategic sense to charge and double move and be stranded out in the middle of the battlefield. Right. And just, especially with all the range attacks they have, it doesn't make strategic sense to like charge and double move and be like stranded out
Starting point is 00:08:06 in the middle of the battlefield. Right. Where they can just like lob grenades at you or something, you know? Yeah. Right. Well,
Starting point is 00:08:13 Screed's certainly playing this one, right? Yeah, he's smart. He's standing back, lobbing bombs. Yeah. Yes,
Starting point is 00:08:19 he's the best. So, Glamorous takes a five foot step into the knitting circle and Gormley, you're up. Gormley's going to shoot at the dire wolf with the crossbow. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:34 Minus four. Oh, is she melee? Yeah, with the lord. Gotta do it. You want to hex it? Should I hex it? Yeah! Alright, I'll hex it? Should I hex it? Yeah Alright I'll hex it Yeah Evil eye No why don't
Starting point is 00:08:47 Can you hex the fucking guy Throwing grenades at us? Yeah From hitting us? I can move in And get hit with more bombs Classic Gremlin Yeah he's too far away
Starting point is 00:08:56 Well the other thing is like It's a bad idea If somebody wants to take a hit It's a bad idea to bunch there Can you heal me or yourself Or someone else? Don't forget like Every time these I can heal you every time these bombs hit or miss it's five points of splash damage you guys so it's a really good idea there's a bombardier and you're all standing
Starting point is 00:09:13 together just something to give thought to it makes sense safety in numbers but uh so uh i'm gonna reach i'm gonna reach out with my hand and touch Baron on the shoulder and cure light wounds. Oh. Oh, you know what? I can't. I've used up my first level spells. Oh. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:09:31 What a tease. Sorry. All right. In that case, I'm going to shoot with the crossbow, and then I'm going to move. All right. Here we go. Minus four. 19 to hit.
Starting point is 00:09:43 Nice. Minus four still hits. You got him. That was with the minus four. Yeah. Oh, that was with the minus four. No, hit. Nice. Minus four still hits. You got him. That was with the minus four. Yeah. Oh, that was with the minus four. No, I'm sorry. Minus four still hits.
Starting point is 00:09:49 Yeah, you're good. Four points of damage. Four points of damage. Just, guys are chipping away at this dire wolf now. And then move me along the wall there. Yeah. All right. So you stay up on the ledge, but just, you're crunching around to the left near the body
Starting point is 00:10:03 of the first. Well, the body is technically the stairs first dire wolf, which got moved. Actually, no. So you're just creeping along the ledge, kind of making your way down to screen, baby. Okay. Maybe. Maybe. And it is now the dire wolf's turn.
Starting point is 00:10:22 the direwolf goes around and moves down into the basin to protect his supposed owner now that it's just down to direwolf and screed okay okay and now
Starting point is 00:10:37 the flood troll you see it sucking more juice up and it stands up Come on That provokes Yeah It does provoke From Lork
Starting point is 00:10:49 Give it a good hit Lork Give it a good hit It's at I will let you know It is at One hit point Probably knock it down again It was a hit before
Starting point is 00:11:02 Fifteen Fifteen Hits Hits Hits 13 points of damage 13 points of damage I will tell you That it's going to take a couple rounds
Starting point is 00:11:14 For it to stand back up Alright There we go But still it's a wasted turn I know Coup de Grace But no that was an attack of opportunity So you still have your
Starting point is 00:11:22 Oh that's right That's right Yeah I kept him down. Thank you, Matthew. Hey, give him a bottle cap. Hey, you know what? Give this guy a bottle cap.
Starting point is 00:11:28 You're going to get a bottle cap one of these days. You keep that up, and I'll think about giving you a bottle cap one day. That was a visual joke. I looked like I was going to give him one. Okay, it is now Screed's turn, and he sees this bitch rolling up on the side of this shit and Screed just comes up and throws a bomb right at old Gormlaith Call.
Starting point is 00:12:01 What was that? That's from Bomberman. A fumble. Oh! Awesome. Now, are we rolling to confirm fumbles, or we're just... No, no. Not until...
Starting point is 00:12:13 All right. Not until... Sixth level. All right. So Screed had a pretty easy time, and now ranged attack. Oh! So you see Screed roll back and just, ha ha ha, I got this, bitch!
Starting point is 00:12:28 Flump! Ah! Sprains his throwing arm and takes 1d4 points of dex damage! Oh, that's huge! How much dex damage? One point of dex damage. Oh, hot damn it! But...
Starting point is 00:12:40 What happens to the bomb? The bomb... Hits you anyway. The bomb does splash damage So it does five points of damage But you get a reflex save But you do get a reflex save It's DC 15 or it does no damage
Starting point is 00:12:50 19 on the reflex save It hits the wall way above your head And you duck out of the way of the fire And now he takes one point of dex Alright Lork Lork is going All right. Lork. Lork is going to cut Kudagra the flood troll. All right.
Starting point is 00:13:11 Automatic crit. Automatic critical hit. Yeah, so basically Kudagra is when you're going to attack an opponent who is completely and utterly helpless. Have we talked Kudagra before? I don't think we've done one before. All right, Skid, tell us about Kudagra. Wait, wait.
Starting point is 00:13:33 All right, that's what the Siren Skid picks. It is a catchy fucking song. I love that song. Okay, so when you're attacking an opponent who's completely helpless, you attack him, you do an automatic critical hit, and so it's usually double damage. And then the opponent has to make a—if he's not—after that, knocks down to his constitution score below zero, then he has to make a fortitude save of—is it 10? 10 plus.
Starting point is 00:14:00 10 plus the damage dealt, which is pretty brutal. So basically it says when an opponent is completely helpless, it's very easy to just kill them outright. And this troll is completely unconscious right now. So Lork does literally 46 points of damage. Oh my god! I rolled maximum damage on a favorite enemy. Doubled.
Starting point is 00:14:29 With bull strength. Wow. You, I mean, you hack it to pieces. Yeah, Lork is just like, he hates these things so much. And you just see pieces of the flood troll kind of float down this lazy river oh my god that was awesome 46 points of damage it's insane awesome and i had a feeling too and i was like
Starting point is 00:14:53 this is the one i'll roll max damage on of course like uh all right it's gonna be baron's turn quick battlefield update here so one dire wolf down one flood troll down, and down, down, down, down, down. Not regenerating. You have one direwolf left who came back down to the area with his master, Screed, who is on a ledge 10 feet below and about 30 feet away from Gormley, who
Starting point is 00:15:17 has moved from the pack as well. Lork is off to the side, and then in the back is Galavras and Baron. Baron at the head of these stone steps leading down into the basin where this giant skeleton statue corpse is. And, of course, Gormley's web. And it's Baron's turn. He's going to wait until Gel goes.
Starting point is 00:15:40 Waiting until Gel goes. Okay. Have you gone this round? No, it's going to be Galabras next, and then it'll be you. Yeah? Yeah. That work? Okay, Galabras.
Starting point is 00:15:48 I'm going to give Baron a bit of luck. Now, Galabras, correct me if I'm wrong. You have one channel left or no channels left? I have one channel left. One channel. Oh, wait. You need healing, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:58 I wasn't trying to coerce you into doing it. No, no, no. I just forgot that you got a wand. I'm like, I'm... Oh, shit. I could have forgot that you got a wand. I'm like, I'm. Oh, shit. I could have given you the wand. What do you do? Let's see.
Starting point is 00:16:10 Oh, I can also try to wait. Gormley's got the wand and it's coming up after you. But I have a wand. We both have one. I could have done it
Starting point is 00:16:18 last time and I was like, I'm not a spell. I could do the bit of luck and shoot at either. I could do like up close luck and shoot at either the wolf. I could do like up close and deadly with the wolf and kind of just kill him.
Starting point is 00:16:31 Maybe. I think if I kill the wolf, get a grip point back. We've hit him a couple times, right? We've hit him once or twice. No, you guys, it was like bullet. Oh, I hit him once too. Crossbow bolt. You essentially would guarantee me a hit on that one.
Starting point is 00:16:47 I'll give you a bit of luck. Nat 20! What? Oh, shit. Roll to confirm. So clutch. Do I get to roll twice? Yeah, you roll twice on this, too.
Starting point is 00:17:04 Oh, it's a bit of luck to confirm. Oh, one and I get to roll twice? Yeah, you roll twice on this too. Oh, it's been a luck to confirm! Ooh, one and a four. Oh, fuck. Uh, uh, eleven to confirm. Wait, against flat-footed? Touch, touch AC. Oh, touch rather? Of the direwolf? Yeah. Touch AC, eleven. Yes! Yeah!
Starting point is 00:17:20 Insane! Insane! I was actually pulling for you. Because it's the gun, you get three critical cards, and you get to choose your favorite. And between blunt and piercing. Right, that's right. It's six choices. So pause for edit.
Starting point is 00:17:35 The tide has turned. Oh, man! Crit machine. Is this the first time you guys have crit in, like, the past... It's been a while. ...handful of episodes. It's the second time. Also, I didn't the past... It's been a while....handful of episodes. It's the second time. Also, I didn't.
Starting point is 00:17:46 I mean, that was an automatic crit. Right. Since you entered this cave or whatever this is. I think this is our first confirmed critical attack. It's the second time Baron has crit ever. Yeah. With the gun. With the times for gun.
Starting point is 00:17:56 Let's get critical. Man. Critical. It's funny. Like, on the attack roll, he rolled an 18 and a 20. And then on the confirm, he rolled a 1 and a 4. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 00:18:08 I'm going to turn it all the way up to 11 and give this wolf a spinal tap. Yeah! Grit, you dog. Oh, no, that's normal damage. I guess I kind of have to go through with it, though. Yeah. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 00:18:23 It's tough when they're normal damage. You already made the reference, so I'm going to... Yeah, unfortunately. House rule, house rule. You make the reference, you go... So normal damage and negative four penalty on attack roll, skill checks, and ability checks for 1d4 rounds. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:18:39 Three damage. Well, four. Oh, four. But you clipped a vertebrae there. So minus four rounds. Minus four to Oh, four. But you clipped a vertebrae there. So minus four. Four rounds. Minus four to attack for four rounds? Yeah. That's attack, skill checks, and ability checks for four rounds.
Starting point is 00:18:54 Son of a cheese. I don't know if it's going to be doing any sense motives, but. Right. If it does. Minus four. The wolf would like to treat with you. Diplomacy? Diplomacy?
Starting point is 00:19:04 Is it saving for an ability check? Negative. No. ability check? Negative. No. Checking. Negative. Nice try. Wow, that was awesome. That was awesome.
Starting point is 00:19:12 Great use of bit of luck. Great use of bit of luck. Okay, Gormley. Great use of criticaling on bit of luck. Gormley is going to run up within
Starting point is 00:19:24 two spaces of the edge. Right up to Screed? The ledge. Oh, man! Just standing ten feet above. Not all the way up, but just like, you know, give me one square away from the edge. Move me back. There we go.
Starting point is 00:19:34 Okay. And she's going to go. She's looking directly at Screed. He's ten feet down. And she's going to go. No! And vomit a swarm of spiders down on his head. Oh, my god!
Starting point is 00:19:46 Oh god, you guys see this and you're like, she is not hanging out with us anymore. What do I do? I don't even know what I do. I mean, do you get, the spider swarm attacks the first creature it hits? Right, so there's no attack roll for a spider swarm. A spider swarm just has to get down there.
Starting point is 00:20:02 How much movement speed does it have? 20 feet. 10 feet up and five feet over so it gets directly into screed spot it can go as far as greed spot all right so they all swarm down on so they're just like you vomit them out of your mouth in the in the space in front of you they then climb down uh 10 feet and land right on screed spot and start to eat him and start to eat him all right so what eat him. All right, so what happens? One d6 damage plus... All right, so five damage.
Starting point is 00:20:30 Yeah. And then roll a Fortitude save. Yeah, you roll a Fortitude save for once. Fortitude save, Troy. You roll it. You roll it. Okay. It's only dc11, but still, it was fun to say that.
Starting point is 00:20:43 I rolled a 19. What a waste. All right. Yeah. Okay. It's only DC 11, but still, it was fun to say that. I rolled a 19. What a waste. All right. Yeah. Okay. All right. Screed has officially been damaged three hours into this episode. All right.
Starting point is 00:20:55 Awesome. Awesome move. All right. It is the dire wolf's turn, and he does not take kindly to having his boss hit. Oh, God damn it. So, hmm, hmm, hmm, gets just up there. Next to Gormley. That's so crazy.
Starting point is 00:21:13 She's 10 feet up on this ledge, so he runs like 30 feet and then just like leaps 10 feet up into the air and lands right next to her. And that's a single move. Yeah, he's got 50 feet of movement. He is a badass. And he's got that jump yeah that's insane the click in the
Starting point is 00:21:27 climb is so so clutch very uh intimidating um i can just picture that gets up there goes to bite gormley gormley's like wiping spiders off of her mouth oh gross gross and he misses he
Starting point is 00:21:40 misses it misses uh round 28 uh the flood troll is dead so it is now And he misses. He misses. It misses. Round 28. The flood troll is dead. So it is now Screed's turn. All right. All right. Enough. Enough nonsense.
Starting point is 00:22:00 I said before, and I'll say it again, Gormley puts herself in a lot of tough situations. Screed climbs up and flanks Gormley. Jesus. I mean, she gets an attack of opportunity. She's ten feet from the edge. Does she have a loaded crossbow? She climbs up. Oh, right.
Starting point is 00:22:19 Well, I mean, you could try to. Yes, I do actually. Slap out. Oh, great. You have a loaded crossbow. This would be playing. So this would be an attack of opportunity, yes. With the crossbow.
Starting point is 00:22:34 That's a 24 to hit. Nice. Hits. Nice. Eight points of damage. Oh, man. Good job. All right.
Starting point is 00:22:44 Boonk. You see it barely phases damage. Oh, man. Good job. All right. Boonk. You see it barely phases him. Oh, God. Oh, damn. Can I roll? It's as if it didn't affect him at all. He just... And flanks you.
Starting point is 00:23:00 Wait, wait, wait. What? Protection from arrows? Is that a thing? It is damage reduction. Piercing, like, wait. What? Protection from arrows? Is that a thing? It is damage reduction. Piercing, like DR piercing. Can I do a perception check as a reaction, as part of that attack of opportunity, or no?
Starting point is 00:23:14 Sure, why not? Just to see, like, what the fuck? You notice he's not affected. Well, that's an 11 perception. You notice that he's not affected. Oh, man. He's flanking. Now, he drew a weapon as he was moving, so I think that is his action, yes?
Starting point is 00:23:35 Yeah, if he drew a weapon, climbed up 10 feet, and then moved 10 feet off the edge. He can't attack. I would imagine he can't attack. Does he have quick draw? He does not, but you see him pull out this falchion. Oh, god. Oh, it's Gorbly's favored
Starting point is 00:23:51 weapon. Or unfavored weapon. Unfavored weapon. So do the spiders follow him? No, they stay down there. So do they get an attack of opportunity when he left the square? Oh, yeah. No, but actually he gets an attack of opportunity against them. I forgot. Are they an actual creature? They're a swarm. Yeah. Yeah, so he should have get an attack of opportunity when he left the square? Oh, yeah. No, but actually he gets an attack of opportunity against them. I forgot.
Starting point is 00:24:06 Are they an actual creature? They're a swarm. Yeah. Yeah, so he should have gotten an attack of opportunity against them. Whenever a swarm engulfs a creature, the creature gets an attack of opportunity. Yeah, but he didn't have a falchion drawn. But he didn't have a falchion drawn, so in that case, he does not. But moving away from it does not, as it did not affect you guys when you moved away from the rat swarm. Lork, you're up.
Starting point is 00:24:25 All right, Lork is going to make his way over towards this battle with Screed, Gormley, and the dire wolf. And he's just going to say, Screed, what are you doing down here? Leave the woman alone, or we're going to... Tell us what you're doing, or we're going to kill you right here where you stand. I ran out of clever things to say. You want to roll a diplomacy, intimidate, or is that flavor?
Starting point is 00:24:51 No, I want to roll a diplomacy. I want to talk to, he should be talking. I mean, he's the villain. I want to know what he's doing here. And I want to see if I can coax him into saying something stupid like a Bond villain. Seven, diplomacy. saying something stupid like a Bond villain. Seven. Diplomacy. Not the most diplomatic
Starting point is 00:25:10 half-work intro now. Fuck you. I'm a good cop, damn it. He says you will follow the path of Roderick. Wrong place, wrong time. And you will join him in the afterworld.
Starting point is 00:25:22 Oh, man. You're cocky. You're very self-confident. You would be, too, if you had DR 50. Hey, wait! All right, Lork, so... I double moved and just... Okay, so Lork makes his move up, Calabras.
Starting point is 00:25:42 I'm going to move up to Lork and use my second-level domain spell and cast aid on him. Nice. Which will give you, I think it's plus one to hit and damage. And 1d8 plus three temporary hit points. So nine temporary hit points. Oh, wow. That is huge because I forgot Lork hasn't been healed yet. He's still
Starting point is 00:26:08 low. I completely forgot how low he is. Wow. Baron, you're standing back there, and you see Gormley. Just plus one morale bonus on attack rolls, not to damage. Okay. Baron, you've always been following this. You see Gormley
Starting point is 00:26:24 has been in bad situations before and has already been flanked and since you guys walked into this room but you now sense great danger for gormley she's just in a bad place what do you do do i just do that by general assessment or do i see like uh him reach power level 9 000 uh and and smash him in the head. No, I just wanted to make the stakes. Oh, okay, you were just flavoring it up. Okay. So I'm going to step directly to the right of Lork
Starting point is 00:26:52 and I'm going to fire at the dire wolf to hopefully amend his blank situation. Okay. Minus four, obviously, but usually you roll, I think you get like a plus 40 to hit, I think. Uh-huh. 20.
Starting point is 00:27:08 And that's with the minus four? Yep, 24. That is a hit on the dire wolf. Damage. Six damage. Oh, no, five damage. Five damage. The wolf lives.
Starting point is 00:27:23 And it is now Gormley's turn So the spider swarm It can go now if you want Well I have to concentrate to change its direction But would it It would just keep moving where it was going Or would it stay where it is I don't know how it works
Starting point is 00:27:38 I have to spend a standard action to change its direction Alright Oh yeah then it just keeps going. I guess it doesn't act like a typical spider swarm. It is a vomit swarm, so it's different. All right, well, I have to fall with drawing it out of there. Send me back, Blind Baron. Okay, I think that's going to provoke from the dire wolf.
Starting point is 00:28:01 No, she's fine. No? Okay. Yeah, because she can get... Oh, no, yeah, it will, because the dire wolf provokes the diagonal square right. No? Okay. Yeah, because she can get... Oh, no. Yeah, it will because the dire wolf provokes the diagonal square right there. Acrobatics out of there, bro.
Starting point is 00:28:09 The dire wolf only has a five-foot reach, but because the tunnel is so thin there, it's just going to... It's going to try and bite you. I'm going to acrobat. I'm going to acrobat.
Starting point is 00:28:17 But it's a minus four. I'm going to acrobatics. I'm going to acrobatics. That's 20 acrobatics, Chuck. Hell yeah. Wow, Gormley sneaks right out of there. So she gets herself
Starting point is 00:28:25 In a jam But She uh She's running around Getting into sticky situations And then sneaking out I love it Running out
Starting point is 00:28:32 Yeah Total witch Oh and at the end Of my uh Turn Uh I yelled to Lorik
Starting point is 00:28:39 Take care of Screed I'll take I don't know Whose voice I'm doing right now Uh I'll take care of the wolf And then the DM
Starting point is 00:28:46 totally undid all that. The wolf didn't hear this. And with a minus four to attack, it tries to bite Lork. And would have hit, but whoa! Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, 18? Yeah, that hits. That hits. Are you fucking kidding me? This is officially the first time one of these dire wolves has hit.
Starting point is 00:29:11 Okay. A couple things are going to happen. Oh, Jesus Christ. I just like saying that. Nine points of damage, and it gets a free attempt to trip you. Oh, right. They do. So there went all those temporary hit points.
Starting point is 00:29:24 That's their jam. But that's a good thing, because otherwise it would have been a zero. But it's a minus four to the attempt to trip, right. They do. So there went all those temporary hit points. That's their jam. But that's a good thing because otherwise it would have been a zero. But it's a minus four to the attempt to trip two on the CMD. Ah, okay. Still made it by a mile. What's your CMD? 21 beat it? Yeah, it beats it.
Starting point is 00:29:39 Alright, so it bites you. What did I say? Nine points of damage? And then it trips you. You fall to the ground. Oh, my God. Right in front of it. So even standing up provokes. Guys, this is intense. And it is...
Starting point is 00:29:52 Oh, no. It's Screed's turn. It's Screed's turn. Screed, seeing this all go down, uh, buh, buh, climbs down, and... Does he provoke from the spider swarm uh i forgot that stupid
Starting point is 00:30:10 spider swarm there damn you spider swarm uh the spider swarm is like here where was he was standing before uh he was right up against the ledge he was up against the ledge is he some sort of like freakish climber like he doesn't have to roll climb checks. He doesn't move at half speed. Yeah. You know what? I'm going to have him just roll up and attack Baron with a falchion. Galabras. That's not Baron.
Starting point is 00:30:33 I'm sorry. That's Galabras. See, I don't even know who I'm attacking. Okay. So he brings this falchion down on Galabras. And luckily for Galabras, luckily for Galabras he misses. And you see this thing just within inches of you.
Starting point is 00:30:52 A falchion like crits so easily. And he's a named character so he gets a card. Lork, the orc. Laying on the ground. And you just see your life flash before your eyes. This is it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:09 I can try to kill it before you get up. Lork is going to... Last battle. Well, I mean, I can attack from the ground. I have so many bonuses that I can just take the minus four. Yeah, that's true. So I'll try to swipe at his legs while I'm on the ground. I love it.
Starting point is 00:31:24 I love it. I love it. Eighteen. Eighteen hits. Yes! The direwolf or? The direwolf. The direwolf. Come on now. It's funny, you guys have just been like chipping away at the direwolf. Arrow, bullet, bullet, arrow, arrow.
Starting point is 00:31:42 Seventeen points of damage. Yeah, take that. And you kill the direwolf the yeah lork from his back like you slice its achilles yeah it just bleeds out uh and the dire wolf and now it's just the four of you lork on his back and uh and i will stand up and you will stand up. Galabras. Game's about to change. I'm going to do my last channel of the day. With my classically gold-plated Roman dice. Nine. Oh, good channel.
Starting point is 00:32:16 Beautiful. Good channel, good channel. Going back up to max. Wait, now, Galabras, does that provoke? Oh, sorry, I meant to take a five-foot step. Okay, so you take a five-foot step. No, it does not. It does not. But sorry I meant to take a five foot step No it does not But I'm going to take a five foot step So Galabras takes a five foot step back Because he was right up in Screed's face
Starting point is 00:32:33 Screed's heavily tattooed face And it is now Baron's turn Baron's going to Shoot him with a gun Ooh 19 26 26 does hit Screed Baron's going to shoot him with a gun. Oh, 19. 26. 26 does hit Screed.
Starting point is 00:32:53 Six. Six. The bullet hits Screed, and Screed doesn't even flinch. Even with piercing and bludgeoning? Especially with piercing and bludgeoning. Oh, man. Scree just looks at you. You'll have to do better than that, dwarf.
Starting point is 00:33:14 Do a perception check to see what happened. Can I do that? Yes, free action. That was a... What's my perception? I always forget that. Pretty high. Plus nine. 27. You see that this creature
Starting point is 00:33:29 clearly has DR, for the lack of metagaming. Like, it has DR, but it also has something that's protecting it, especially against ranged attacks. Oh, protection from arrows. But I don't know if that has to do with damage or have cold iron bolts we have special bolts do any of those have any can any of those get through dr
Starting point is 00:33:51 yeah what do we sometimes they can yeah i don't know if it's for the we have cold iron we've got silver and cold iron i think that yeah i think that's right as uh oh god as my move action, I want to light the adamantium grenade. But that's still range, though. But it has special, like it does fire. I don't know. Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll just wait. Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:34:16 And I'm about to get right next to him. Gourmet. Evil eye. AC screen. All right. So what is the will? DC-14 will. Where there's a will, there's a way.
Starting point is 00:34:31 Made it. One round. Two rounds, because I think, you know, just for morale's sake, this is gonna happen now, right? Two rounds. Two rounds. Minus two to AC, you said?
Starting point is 00:34:46 Yep. Let me tell you what. That's very important. And now the direwolf is dead, so it's a new round, and it screeds to death. And remember, everybody gets an additional plus one to hit until the end of my next turn. Oh, yeah. After the channel. Right? Can I do that, or?
Starting point is 00:35:10 That would provoke. Just go there. Alright, so Screed steps over to Lork. You just had to come down here! You just had to come down here! Well, now this will be your last adventure, you fool! You didn't exactly sneak down.
Starting point is 00:35:26 What, are you good at tracking? You brought an army. Swings the falchion and misses Lork. Guys have a great opportunity here. It's Lork's turn. Lork's going to say, You might have poisoned the mind of those simple half-orcs like Daktani and other vagrants, but you've messed with the wrong Trunowan half-orc. Either you tell us
Starting point is 00:35:46 what you're doing down here or I'll make sure you die today. And he swings his masterwork greataxe power attack at Daktani. At Daktani? I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:36:00 They all look the same to me. 19 to hit. Now is that that hits because of Gorm hit. Now, is that... That hits because of Gormley. Now, is that a magical weapon? No. So roll for damage.
Starting point is 00:36:12 It's just masterwork. 17 points of damage. Okay, so you see Screed gets damaged. All right. Least something. Least something. Good roll. Really good roll.
Starting point is 00:36:25 Okay. And it is Really good roll. Okay. And it is Galabras' time. Galabras will... wants to move towards Lork without concurring from Screed. Get behind him. And is going to cast Magic Weapon. Ooh! So... You don't want to give that to Ben. Tell me, tell me, tell me tell me tell me what it does tell me tell me so you get uh so
Starting point is 00:36:52 it's treated as a mad your your weapon is treated as magic with a plus one enhancement bonus and attack and damage rolls for three minutes oh my god that's amazing yeah that's a first level spell can you cast that multiple times uh i could do it again yeah yeah can you do it to me after sure if you want you don't have to yeah yeah i have i think i've won that way we have two people dealing damage hopefully well but i wonder if he has protection from all ranged damage fucker the arrows well that's why i did it to you because like i know that yeah yeah you could do it on your mace maybe I don't want to get up there Yeah totally
Starting point is 00:37:29 Alright it is now Battleston Can Baron do a quick perception check At the weapon that the skeleton is holding And see if it seems like something Someone of normal size could wield Yeah I can tell you Without even you rolling a perception Is it a giant size weapon something someone of normal size could wield. Yeah, I can tell you without even
Starting point is 00:37:45 rolling a perception. Is it a giant-sized weapon, or is it normal? It looks like a giant-sized weapon. Okay, never mind. And it would be 15 feet up. Well, I mean, if I can't figure out how to do any damage to this fucking thing, it might be... Like, I... I mean, your axe.
Starting point is 00:38:03 Yeah, but then I have to Sheath my pistol Draw my molex And Drop the pistol And draw the axe as you move Oh yes Drop the only version
Starting point is 00:38:13 Of a weapon I was gonna say In the world Yeah Just drop There's no one else in here I don't drop my fucking gun It can't
Starting point is 00:38:20 It can't affect him I'm gonna shoot Gormley Right in the head If I drop it I'm just gonna bounce off the ground Just misfire Shoot you in the head Nevermind You know I'm just to shoot Gormley right in the head if I drop it. I'm just going to bounce off the ground. Just misfire. Shoot you in the head. Never mind.
Starting point is 00:38:26 I'm just thinking of the whole party. Don't mind me. How silly of me. What is it to sheathe a pistol? Is it a standard action? It's a move action that provokes an attack of opportunity. You could move up, sheathe your pistol, and then use your standard action to draw your axe,
Starting point is 00:38:44 Move up, sheathe your pistol, and then use your standard action to draw your axe. And next turn, you would be a five-foot step away from him, and you could attack him. Yeah, but can I just stay where I was, sheathe, pull out, and wait until my next turn and not be as close to him? Yeah. Yeah, but then you'd have to do a full move to get to him. That's fine. I'm not going to do like... What do you do? What do you do? I'm going to do that. I'll move to get to him. That's fine. I'm not going to do like that. I guess you don't have to. What do you do? What do you do?
Starting point is 00:39:05 I'm going to do that. I'll sheathe my pistol. Holster the pistol. And then pull my Dwarven Mollax off my back. Ooh. And I'll say Aaron's going old school. Never seen that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:17 All right. And it is now Gormley's turn. Evil Eye. Screed. Is that the one that you This is different now Okay so it was minus two AC Now this is Evil Eye
Starting point is 00:39:29 Against attack rolls Will save Fails Yeah So minus two to his attack roll For six rounds And then Seven
Starting point is 00:39:39 And the AC is extended For another round Okay Alright So that goes till then Alright Next round and the AC is extended for another round. Okay, all right. So that goes till then. All right, next round. Would have been the last round that Screed had a minus two to AC,
Starting point is 00:39:53 but it's been extended. Screed is just like, what the fuck is wrong with that witch? It keeps looking at me weird. And it... He sounds exactly like Daktani, by the way. Yeah, they sound exactly the same. It's uncanny. No, Daktani, by the way. Yeah, they sound exactly the same. It's uncanny.
Starting point is 00:40:07 No, Daktani was more like this. Screed is more like this. Oh, now I hear it. It's a nuance. It's a nuance. I respect your ears to understand everything. Okay. He's going to just fucking swing at Lork with the falchion.
Starting point is 00:40:25 Orc. Half orc Against half orc Uh That's a minus Two to attack Yes Uh That is
Starting point is 00:40:32 100% a hit Actually I Oh I forgot The falchion's 18 to 20 I rolled an 18 I knew it I knew it Does that matter
Starting point is 00:40:40 With the minus two So he crit it No Yeah So he crit it Uh Yaskreed crit I got so
Starting point is 00:40:44 Well he's got a confirm Wrapped up Oh yeah And the confirm Is with the minus two? So he critted now. Yeah, so he critted. Yes, Creed, crit. I got so wrapped up. Oh, yeah, and the confirm is still the minus two. Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Did not confirm. All right. I mean, a regular hit with a falchion's enough. That's huge. Okay, so the falchion comes down.
Starting point is 00:41:02 Does eight points of damage, and you need to roll a fortitude save. Oh, man. Did you say eight? Eight points of damage. This falchion just, boom, hits you right across the shoulder blade. Failed. What'd you get? Eight.
Starting point is 00:41:17 Oh, boy. Okay. I love we have multiple wands in this party now. Okay. We have multiple wands in this party now. Okay, so it hits you, and you feel like, ugh, like poisoned, and you take one point of con damage. Oh, boy. And then Screed takes, actually, Screed moves back.
Starting point is 00:41:40 And provokes? Nope. Can we do some sort of. He's moving away from Lorcan. Detect magic or kill. Yeah, he's in melee combat. He can only move some sort of he's moving away from lork detect magic yeah he's in melee combat he can only move five feet if he wants to move away he can move away without provoking if he just moves five feet okay that's what he does uh okay and it is now lork lork the orc there's no spellcraft or any type of detect magic check we could do to kind of try to figure out what the fuck's going on with him? With Lork?
Starting point is 00:42:09 I certainly can. Lork can try and figure out what's going on. And then you guys can try and look at him. Is there any point in doing a knowledge local for a humanoid figure to determine strengths and weaknesses? I just don't know. Is this all related to the potion he drank? No, I mean, just without even rolling perception,
Starting point is 00:42:29 like, his blade is poisoned. Right, right, right. And you got hit with a poison. What is it that you're interested in knowing? Like, what kind of poison? No, I don't really care. I mean, Lork does not really care. I certainly care.
Starting point is 00:42:41 You've been poisoned so much. A great deal. It all blends together. It's just another day at the office. I think Lork, I'm torn between pushing the attack right now because I'm very low on hit points. I mean, he will definitely put me below zero next round with a hit. And if he crits and confirms, he could murder you outright. He could kill me outright.
Starting point is 00:42:58 He could murder you outright, Joe. Are you willing to die? Are you willing to die? I am willing to die, but I think... You can hold and let me heal you first. I'm going to pop a bottle of Cure Ligaments. I'm going to drink a bottle of Cure Ligaments.
Starting point is 00:43:15 A vial of Cure Ligaments. Four. You get at least plus one, though. Yeah. Do we determine the caster levels On the one we found? They're always minimum Okay so Lork you chug the bottle And that's your standard action
Starting point is 00:43:35 Are you going to move? Yeah he'll move up in front of Wow good thing Screed took a five foot step Otherwise I would have provoked to drink that potion He'll step up in front of the party And be like Wow, good thing Screed took a five-foot step, otherwise I would have provoked to drink that potion. He'll step up in front of the party and be like, Why, you are just cowarding them!
Starting point is 00:43:51 You ought to back away, you coward! Screaming. Oh, boy. I know I just drank a vial of healing potion, but still. All right, Galabras. I'm going to take a five-foot step, and... This might have to be a two-parter. Yeah. God damn it.
Starting point is 00:44:08 Man, if you haven't fucking moved. Could have just used it, wouldn't you? I was trying to protect you, buddy. Yeah, thanks. Angry skid, man. Can't be pleased. I'm going to load a silver bolt in my crossbow and fire it.
Starting point is 00:44:34 Oh, nice. 15. Miss. Even with the minus two? Miss. Baron. Nothing like a war I wish you guys could see the look of defeat On these players faces
Starting point is 00:44:56 I mean I get a plus two on melee With this strength difference So if I rush up to him I'm basically just volunteering myself to be a damage sponge, because I have to roll at least, like, 18 to hit him. Yeah, it's brutal. It's brutal. So that's why I was hoping if anyone could do any sort
Starting point is 00:45:13 of detective work. Like, can I see if it seems to be emanating from his armor? Could we do something to like, sunder his armor to remove this from him, this status from him. Uh, which status? The,
Starting point is 00:45:26 uh, the fucking, I can't be hit by range weapons and our party all does range damage except for Lord. Um, yeah, I mean, it's just,
Starting point is 00:45:34 you've never seen anything like you've never encountered this. Um, but you get the feeling that at a certain point, a certain amount of damage will, uh, will stop it. But he's not taking any damage from range currently.
Starting point is 00:45:50 Currently, he hasn't yet to take any range damage. But you guys have hit him a couple times. Right, and the other thing is it doesn't cost you anything to just keep shooting. So maybe we're ticking away at some temporary hit points he
Starting point is 00:46:05 has or something that's an option what it sounds uh it certainly doesn't can i i know i just kind of want to drop my axe and shoot at him again it sounds really fucking stupid to have wasted a turn like that but can i do that? Absolutely. All right. Oh! 20. Fucking 20. Roll to confirm against his lowered AC.
Starting point is 00:46:38 That is a, he's an orc, so that's a 10 plus a 7, 17. That confirms. Are you kidding me? What? Twice. Okay, here we go. Give me a good one. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:46:57 That was really good. See, I have one that Fortitude negates, though. Does he seem like a Fortitude-ist? They always save. Yeah, they will always save. He already saved against a Fortitude save once. Yeah. Okay. For my spiders.
Starting point is 00:47:18 He seems kind of strong, though, right? Or do you think it'd be better to take his dex away? Well, he's fighting melee now.'d say whatever whichever one is double damage all right um just do the double damage and 1d6 uh dex damage back breaker yeah all right all right uh that is uh two points there's three points of damage four Four. Four. Or six. No, it's six, yeah. And dex. Troy is just slowly shaking his head. It's a visual.
Starting point is 00:47:53 Two dex damage. Does two dex damage. You know what? At a certain point. I should have done the strength damage. Especially for the gun. You're kind of fucking yourself by taking the cards rather than four times damage. I agree. I agree.
Starting point is 00:48:07 Is it an option or are you just total replacement for that stuff? We've replaced it all, but it could be an option. Something to perhaps discuss along with resting in future episodes. Gormley! He took the dex damage though, right?
Starting point is 00:48:23 He definitely took the dex damage. Evil eye. Evil eye? So it's Gormley. Am I in range? He took the dex damage, though, right? He definitely took the dex damage. All right. Evil eye. Evil eye? No. You know what? You're already evil-eyed for AC and attack roll, so I'm just going to roll the dice, and I'm going to hex you with Misfortune.
Starting point is 00:48:36 Joe's favorite. Oh, yeah. It works every time. And then I'm going to cackle. Now it'll work this time, and I'll be the dick. Will save? Will save. DC 14.
Starting point is 00:48:46 Failed. Yeah! I Will save. DC 14. Failed. Yes! Yes! I told you. Fuck you! Fuck you! So for one round, then I'm about to make two. Well, I'm going to cackle and extend everything.
Starting point is 00:48:53 So for two rounds, you have disadvantage on all your d20 rolls. I can't even tell you. You may have just saved Lorik's life. You literally may have saved Lorik's life. That's awesome. You also may not have. Yes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:49:07 Round 42. So Misfortune is just disadvantage against any D20 he does? Any D20. And it's actually D20. During the round. Now, did you cackle? I cackled, so I extended it to two rounds and extended all the other hexes. Okay, so Acina goes to...
Starting point is 00:49:20 Oh, you can extend Misfortune with a cackle? That's cool. Misfortune, evil eye, and agony when it gets to the major hexes. Alright. Screed steps up and attacks Lork with the falchion.
Starting point is 00:49:37 Rolled twice. A 19 and a 3. Yes! Misfortune! That would have been a crit. You want to know what my confirmed crit would have been? Oh, a three. Yes! That would have been a crit. You want to know what my confirmed crit would have been? Oh, a 24. You would have had to roll that twice. Roll it again, let's see.
Starting point is 00:49:53 24 and a four. Okay, so he misses. Lork. Lork, roll a four to shoot. Natural one. You take...
Starting point is 00:50:11 one more point of con damage. Oh my god! Oh, Jesus. Don't forget, you lose a... Oh my god! ...hit point for each damage of con. For each two. For each two?
Starting point is 00:50:23 Yeah. All right. Lork is just... This is... You're up. This is getting close to the end. If it's the last thing I do, I'm taking you with me.
Starting point is 00:50:34 This is for Lork. He's swinging. Jesus Christ. I guess that's a hit. 19 to hit. Now it does hit yeah I just forget
Starting point is 00:50:48 I have so many bonus and you have a magic weapon now did oh you have a magic weapon 20 to hit I forgot alright
Starting point is 00:50:54 magic weapon and now it's magical now it's magical for the purposes of bypassing DR 11 wait yes 11 points of damage
Starting point is 00:51:01 with the plus one for the magical weapon that is a hit one for the magical weapon. That is a hit. And for the first time, you see Screed actually look fucked. I told you not to fuck with me! All right, Galabras. I'm going to drop my crossbow. Drop my pants.
Starting point is 00:51:20 crossbow. Drop my pants. Draw the wand of cure light wounds and use it on, uh, on, um, look that the guy over the green guy, uh, screed seven,
Starting point is 00:51:34 seven points, seven. All right. Uh, okay. Baron. Baron's going to take a few diagonal steps. Now,
Starting point is 00:51:43 when you said he looked like he was actually in trouble, did it seem like something appeared in general, or he's just like bloodied down? The magic weapon through the DR. That's what happened. And just in case we haven't mentioned it before, DR, damage reduction, means some really powerful characters just subtract right off the top the damage you dealt. So if you dealt six and they have DR five, that means you just did one.
Starting point is 00:52:06 And, uh, and, but sometimes a magical weapon will bypass that, that minus of DR and you can do the whole damage. If they have DR 10 and you do nine points of damage, it takes zero points of damage. If I sneak up behind them,
Starting point is 00:52:19 can I do a surprise attack? Uh, not like, uh, if he, if you can catch him unawares, you can't do a stealth check without cover or concealment okay you can't attempt it are there any combat maneuvers i could do to take
Starting point is 00:52:33 him to the ground or something i mean you could try to grapple him i like it um tackle him yeah baron just gonna try to tackle him yeah your gun's not working fuck it he has misfortune on his role on does he have to roll against it no it's a cmd it's like hitting what is cmd cmd is based off of what it's not based off strength is it yeah i have zero don't even get me started yeah you're not so much my cmd is plus two right now so yeah it's a long shot it almost never happens and he gets an attack of opportunity if you even attempt then again that's true you guys do have a shared bottle cap it It's true. But he does get
Starting point is 00:53:05 the attack of opportunity anyway. Yeah, that's the thing. Which he takes his fortune on. Yeah, which he does. And a minus two to attack. This seems like a good way to get rid of this bottle cap just for fun.
Starting point is 00:53:14 Do it. Go for it, man. All right, the shared bottle cap. They both agree. I'm coming to save you. Hold on, before you even roll, he gets an attack of opportunity. Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:21 I don't get any acrobatics checked to get out of it? No, because you're an attempt to grapple the gravity you have a feat it's a tech misfortune i'm rolling twice uh a beautiful hit and a horrible miss yeah nice that's really working i'm rolling the two biggest d20s we have what a a pair, what a pair. He keeps dropping it and picking it up. It's too big for my hand.
Starting point is 00:53:52 Oh, my God. An 18 and a one. 20. You grapple. Oh! Man! Amazing! This is a little dwarf.
Starting point is 00:54:03 Oh, man! Phenomenal. six foot six half orc With long I love this I love this The dwarf is just like Okay Gormley's turn
Starting point is 00:54:15 This is great We're still in combat Yep Yes We're still in combat I'm gonna Cackle to extend all the hexes. And that's misfortune, too.
Starting point is 00:54:28 That's everything. Misfortune and both evil eyes. Oh, man. And then, I mean, I'm not going to take a shot with a crossbow. Can I ready my standard action? What is it? If he breaks the grapple, I'll shoot him with a crossbow. I mean, then again, the crossbow isn't loaded with a silver arrow.
Starting point is 00:54:48 But you can't load it. You just used your move action to cackle. It was loaded from before. Oh. I haven't shot it. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you're going to take the minus four, but yes, you can ready the crossbow. If he breaks free, you're going to immediately fire.
Starting point is 00:55:02 Yeah. Okay. I mean, you can fire him while he's grappled, right? Do I take an additional minus four? You take just the minus four. Oh. It's kind of the same situation. Then I'll just fire.
Starting point is 00:55:12 Yeah, just fire. And I assume a 12 misses. A 12 does. It hits Baron in the back, but he's so fired up he doesn't even feel it. All right. Next round. It's Screed feel it. Alright, next round. It's Screed's turn. Oh my god, amazing.
Starting point is 00:55:29 So Screed is going to... He can attack, by the way, with his Falchion. He can attack, but he's got Miss Forge. No, he can't. He can't do anything that requires two hands. Oh, if Falchion's a two-handed weapon, that's right. Let me get to my grappling chart. He can attempt to break free,
Starting point is 00:55:46 or he can attempt to be the controlling grappler. Grapper. Grappler. Grapper. Grapper. Grapper. Grapper. Grapper.
Starting point is 00:55:52 Grapper. Grapper. Grapper. Grapper. Grapper. Grapper. Grapper. Grapper.
Starting point is 00:55:53 Grapper. Grapper. Grapper. Grapper. Grapper. Grapper. Grapper. Grapper.
Starting point is 00:55:54 Grapper. Grapper. Grapper. Grapper. Grapper. Grapper. Grapper. Grapper.
Starting point is 00:55:54 Grapper. Grapper. I think he's going to attempt to break free. This is insane that you grappled Scree. Insane! I thought about doing it, and I was like, there's no chance I'll be able to. Well, even to break free, I got misfortune! So amazing.
Starting point is 00:56:10 This is... You fuck with the bull, you're gonna get the horn screed. You guys did really, really well here. Even if this fortune never works again, I am so glad it actually has to work one time. Okay, so, I mean, attempting to be the controlling grappler is a CMB check, mean attempting to be the controlling
Starting point is 00:56:25 Grappler is a CMB check And attempting to break free Is also a CMB check Or escape artist Alright I'm going to try and escape the grapple Okay Get off me you filthy I rolled a one
Starting point is 00:56:41 I rolled a one And an eleven Unmodified Oh man unbelievable I rolled a one. I rolled a one and an 11. Unmodified. Yeah. Oh, man. Unbelievable. All right, Lork, you guys get an opportunity here. I say slice them open, Lork.
Starting point is 00:56:56 Let's see what it looks like on the inside. Lork is going to say, yield. Yield. I'll never yield. He's never going to yield. I raise the axe up. Put it in your head, pig. Yield! Yield! I'll never yield! He's never going to yield. Kill him. I raise the axe up. Put it in your head, pig!
Starting point is 00:57:09 He already did that once, and he didn't like it. I did already do that once. You try and intimidate. You can just tell he longs for the blood of his enemies. I don't think he's... He's fighting until their death. I do not think there's any way he's going to survive. I bet he'll have paperwork on him, though, like a letter from someone.
Starting point is 00:57:27 All right, I will attack. I'll do a power attack to just fully kill him, just to make sure I fully... 24 to hit. Hits, just to make sure I fully kill him. Magic weapon. Magic weapon. 21 points of damage.
Starting point is 00:57:42 Oh, my God! I'm sorry, 22 points of damage Oh my god I'm sorry 22 points of damage Magic weapon Uh He is Well into the negative Oh Oh
Starting point is 00:57:52 Fuck you Oh man And you would know That he does have ferocity Right But he's not He is well into the negative And he's grappled
Starting point is 00:58:01 Now You know You have the opportunity To murder him outright right or subdue him completely yeah because now you know he's he's got one action left yeah we have to spot subdue calabras has a turn baron has a turn and gormley has a turn before he's even has a chance to act this is insane he almost killed three of you yeah for flavor's sake uh i'll hog time yeah like that'll be fucking awesome yeah actually uh you you can do that that's uh you've got a well lork
Starting point is 00:58:34 galabras is up next yeah uh i mean look here's the thing he's on orc ferocity i don't think you can just hog time well no you have there's a whole series of things you have to maintain the grapple right right okay okay then you gotta as long as you were going to say, okay. But he only, like, whatever, like, what can he do? Like, is he going to try to break the grapple? If he does, he's down? Yeah. And we can still just time up anyway. Let's just wait until he's down and then just time up.
Starting point is 00:58:55 You might as well attempt it. No, he'll be totally dead when he tries to break the grapple, right? No, he won't. He might be, but he might not be. We might be able to bring him back once he's hogtied. Right. So do we just want to hold to see what happens, and then we can hit him with a Cure Light Wound? No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:59:08 As long as he has him grappled, there's no harm. It's actually the best time to try to attempt to maintain the grapple because he gets a bonus to it. And then, you know, we can try to, like, hogtie him. In order to hogtie him, you have to get him into the pinned condition. Okay. So you have to maintain the grapple, to get him into the pinned condition from a grapple. So you have to maintain the grapple, then get him pinned, and then tie him up. Could I use this bit of luck roll through my whole turn?
Starting point is 00:59:37 It goes from the round it was cast until the... So no, it's going to end right now on Galapagos' turn. No, I'm just saying if you were to do it on his turn to me. Oh yeah, absolutely. And you also get a plus five to maintain the grapple because you are the grappler. Excellent. Okay, I'll give you a bit of luck. I spoke on a turn.
Starting point is 00:59:54 If you maintain the grapple, you can tie the defender up. There you go. That's it. Brilliant. Wait, I don't do that. Okay. Sorry, sorry, sorry, everyone. We're learning as we go.
Starting point is 01:00:04 We are stupid. Do you still have to roll? Yeah, you're still going to roll. If sorry, sorry, everyone. We're learning as we go. We are stupid. Do you still have to roll? Yeah, you're still going to roll. If you maintain the grapple. But do you roll? No, it's a number. It's like AC. No, it's your CMB plus five to be against his CMD.
Starting point is 01:00:15 So I have plus seven versus, I'd still like it if you can give it, but if you don't want to waste it. It just seems like a waste because, like, I mean, it's going to be unconscious. But if you do it right now, it'll still be way cooler. Do it. Do it'll still be way cooler do it do it no no that's a 16 uh you do not maintain the grapple so he's on he's free then he's free yeah um but I mean you guys still have some options wait is that an attack roll still oh wait I didn't get to take a turn. Oh, Gormley, yeah, it's your turn. It's Galabras.
Starting point is 01:00:48 My name's Galabras. I'm sorry, Gormley. So I'm going to move Baron down. I would get another plus one on that with hatred, technically. If that makes it. What was the number? 17. No. Okay.
Starting point is 01:01:01 Galabras, so you were going to give a bit of luck. You didn't. Yeah, I'm going to give a... You did that. Now you did. I'm going to give a bit of luck You didn't I'm going to hit Why can't I remember your fucking name Joe Lork I'm going to hit you with the wand again Five points
Starting point is 01:01:17 Alright, Gormley What do you do In this situation What do you do I don't even know What do you do in this situation? What do you do? Uh I don't even know I mean what I don't
Starting point is 01:01:29 He's gonna He's probably gonna take a swing at Lork He has to roll in his fortune I mean Lork is probably gonna Try and grapple him And I don't know what you want to do He could also die die And then you'll never talk to him
Starting point is 01:01:40 So many things could happen I would love to talk to this guy Lork fucked him I'll hold my action I don't Like there's nothing I can do talk to him. So many things could happen. I would love to talk to this guy. Lork fucked him. I'll hold my action. There's nothing I can do to directly help the situation, but if something goes wrong, then I can step in. Okay. As assumed,
Starting point is 01:01:55 Screed swings. A beautiful hit, followed by a horrible miss. Wow, this... Thanks to Gormley. I'm assuming you're cackles. Did you at least cackle? Oh no, he didn't cackle. Well, it doesn't't matter It doesn't matter He's down So he's down now
Starting point is 01:02:07 He's unconscious He is unconscious I held So I can go at the end of this round Right He is unconscious And very close to die Okay
Starting point is 01:02:14 Like He will be dead At the end of this round Okay If you don't do something Okay Lork I would like to tie him up
Starting point is 01:02:23 Okay He's unconscious So you just tie him up So Okay so Lork. I would like to tie him up. Okay. He's unconscious, so you just tie him up. Okay, so Lork ties him up. Stabilize him? Calabriss. Yeah. I'm going to use the wand on him.
Starting point is 01:02:34 Well, do you want to cast stabilize? No, because I mean, we need to use the wand on him anyway, so. Okay. So three points heal, and he's stabilized. Okay, so he's stabilized, and he's well into the negative, but he's unconscious and tied up. Alright, well Gormley is going to come up with her wand and hit him with some cure light wounds as well. Okay.
Starting point is 01:02:55 Nine points. Nine points. Okay, so over the course of the next minute or so, you revive him. And he's woken. And he's tied up. That's right, bitch. Yeah. I told you you fucked with the wrong Trunowns. And I would have gone away
Starting point is 01:03:10 with it too if it weren't for you medley PCs. Lork's just standing over him, like, ready to question him. Oh, he can't wait to ask this guy what he's going for. He has a lot of things to say. I bet. And there is a room full of treasure. And there is a passageway at to say. I bet. And there is a room full of treasure.
Starting point is 01:03:25 And there is a passageway at the end of the hallway. Which one do you want to do first? Oh, wait, I know what you guys should do first. Wait until next episode. Suck my balls! Bye. Outro Music

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