The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 40 - Down the Hatch
Episode Date: March 1, 2016The "Trunau Four" receive some vital new information from the recently rescued Knight of Ozem and upon their return to the keelboat, they finally seize upon a long awaited opportunity - to investigate... the mysterious secret hatch! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast...
My name is Kariann. Kariann Blix.
The heroes find a new ally, and she possesses a valuable gift.
You'll be heading to Red Lake Fort. Then you're gonna need this.
Skid calls Troy out.
Well, you tried to do the right thing. You're just very bad at DMing.
Right, right. I guess I need to go back to the old game mastery, guys.
But Matthew is focused on one thing.
I want so badly to find out what's beneath that staircase.
Will the mystery below deck be solved?
I have three predictions.
Okay.
Number one, hideous monster that will kill us all.
Number two, secret prisoner.
And number three, exotic treasure.
Or will the heroes
run out of time?
You know what?
This is episode 40.
Roll for initiative!
We're going long!
We're going long!
Let's get ready!
The adventure continues
now. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of the Glass Cannon Podcast.
This is Grant Berger, and I can't believe that this is episode 40 already.
It's been almost a year worth of pods with you, and I want to send a special shout out to all of our new listeners.
It's great to have you guys on board.
I guess I really hadn't considered the extent of the danger we're currently in.
Of course, the assault on True Now was insane and
the Battle of Bloodmarch Hill saw so many casualties, but we had the help of Jagren
and Halgra and Cursed and the rest of the town's militia to get the job done.
Now we're on the chalice devil in the middle of who knows where. We could be beset upon on all
sides by attacks and sabotage. It's beginning to feel very dark and foreboding, like Apocalypse Now or Heart of Darkness.
Who knows what incredible evil is waiting for us at Red Lake Fort?
The only silver lining I could see is if Grensel Deck was played by Marlon Brando.
Anyway guys, thanks for tuning in again.
New listeners, please leave us a starred review on iTunes.
It really helps us out.
You can also reach us on Twitter at Glass Cannon Pod,
and you can email us thoughts and ideas and questions to glasscannonpodcast at gmail.com.
Without further ado, here's episode 40, Down the Hatch.
A lot of times I finish a session, and I'm so excited.
That was a great sesh.
And it's not that that wasn't a great session.
I'm just so fucking mad that I didn't make you roll fortitude saves.
It's been eating at you all week, huh?
It really has.
It just really gets my goat.
You know, not because I want to kill you, because I really don't.
I would be bummed if any of the four of your characters died.
I wouldn't be bummed
if Ben Vereen died.
Fuck him.
Just to be clear,
the Wolverine.
The Wolverine, right.
Not the actor.
He's one of...
Yeah, in case anyone's
listening to the podcast
for the first time.
It's like,
man, I wish Ben Vereen
would die.
That seems random.
Why?
Is this the right podcast?
No, he's a national treasure.
But I just, I just, I get mad at myself because I do this all the time.
And I'm sure, you know, Skid and Joe, you DM a lot, too.
You must run across this all the time where you just fucking forget things.
I know, Joe, I play with you all the time.
You're like, ah, damn it, I forgot to do this thing.
You just forget.
And I have it written on my little note cards
for the orcs.
Power attack, cleave.
Weapons have been poisoned.
Because they heard your battle with the dire wolves,
they rolled a perception check, they heard it,
they then poisoned their weapons,
and I forgot to roll it.
It just really, really sucks.
Are you trying to lead up to,
you want to poison us now?
Everyone roll a four or two save.
No.
No.
Had I not made that grandiose speech at the beginning of last episode,
I think I could have easily just not told you that and be like,
okay, all four of you were attacked by their weapons.
As you make your way towards this woman, you all start to feel a little sick.
Everybody roll a four or two save.
But because I'm a shitty, shitty DM,
I didn't do that.
Well, you try to do the right thing.
You're just very bad at DMing.
Right, right.
I guess I need to go back
to the old game mastery, guys.
It worked so well for you last night.
Try out chapter two.
So what is it, Matthew?
Saoirse?
Saoirse.
Sourcefor? Saoirse, like inertia. Sourcefor? Say-er-ees. That what is it, Matthew? Saoirse? Saoirse. Sourcefor?
Saoirse, like inertia.
Sourceforge?
Sayerese.
That's how it looks.
Samsonite.
It's right here.
Samsonite.
Samsonite.
It's Samsonite.
Samsonite.
Samsonite Ronan.
Saoirse, like inertia.
Like inertia.
Saoirse.
Saoirse Ronan.
This is what she looks like.
I'll put it up on the Tumblr.
She kind of looks like
Brienne of Tarth
a little bit of a
Brienne of Tarth vibe
June of Arc vibe
imagine
short blonde hair
golden armor
my former
Facebook friend
determined look
you would say
sure
I actually drew this
you did
no it was the wonderful artist
no wonder you forgot
all the poison
and fortitude
work at Biso
yeah I was so busy
drawn
so yeah she's Lork you go over and you do a heel check Wonderful artist. No wonder you forgot all the poison and fortitude things. Yeah, I was so busy drawing.
So yeah, she's, Lork, you go over and you do a heel check,
and you see that she's unconscious, but she's not dead.
I can't remember.
Did you do anything, or I ended the episode?
Yeah, you cut it off.
I wanted to try to rouse her and see if I could just repeatedly slap her. I know you were very mad that I ended the episode there.
I really wanted to talk to her the whole time.
I thought that combat was just to talk to her.
I think we all wanted to talk to her, but that's no fun.
You and your cliffhangers.
That'd be a shitty name for a character.
Cliff Hanger.
That's his whole thing.
He's an outcast.
He always tells you what he's going to do next turn.
Right.
Wait for it.
Wait for it.
He picks up his falchion to swing at it.
Damn it, Cliff.
I hold my action.
Hangs out with Tom Exposition.
They're best buds.
You guys all kind of took a beating.
I know Galabras, you've used one channel and you've
used a bunch of the wand. Do you guys want to do anything
to her and to yourselves
in case this attack isn't over?
At the moment, I think that I want
to focus on her right now.
Lork is beat up, but he wants to talk
to her. But if everybody gathers around, I can channel while he's doing that.
Okay.
Do it.
Seven.
All right.
So Lurk is at 18 HP.
And you notice she starts to come to.
Oh, what?
Let's see if I can do this shitty accent.
Oh, what?
Oh, what happened?
What happened?
Oh, thank you. Did see if I can do this shitty accent. Oh, what? Oh, what happened? What happened? Oh, thank you.
Did you dispatch the orcs?
The orcs are dead.
You've got nothing to fear, at least for the moment.
Is he still tied up?
Uh, yes.
Right.
I'll untie you.
Just, just...
Does it hurt?
No, no, it's all right.
My arm's a little sore.
Thank the gods that you came.
I did the best I can.
I'm sure you noticed I killed a bunch of them outside,
and they're damned wolves.
But they overcame me,
and I just couldn't hold up against them.
And you guys remember you saw a bunch of dead orcs
and dire wolves,
and she defended as best she could.
And some of them were arrows and stuff like that.
Yeah, so she was the sole defender.
You were the sole defender here.
I was, I was. I did
the best I could, but I just became overwhelmed.
There was at least a dozen
of them, if not more. It's all kind of foggy
to me now. Well, I'm very impressed.
I think you were overwhelmed
by the numbers, but there's several dead bodies
out there. Well,
thank you. Usually I can hold my own, but there's several dead bodies out there. Well, thank you.
Usually I can hold my own, but it was just too much.
Are you all all right?
They were a tough bunch.
Yes, we've taken them down at least for now with the help of our party here.
We've come off of the Chellish Devil, a riverboat, a keelboat that's making its way up the river Esk.
Oh, are you with Rag?
Are you with Blood Dusk?
Do you know Rag?
I do, I do.
He was scheduled to be making a drop-off today.
You're one of his crew members?
You're all his crew, yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know where that came from. The boat just gets sweet, don't you know?
I know both know the boat up the river.
That's what we dance Aye That's That's wonderful
What
What
What
What brings you to
To Bloodtusk's crew
If you don't mind me asking
I'm afraid it's
It's a
A mission of
Great secrecy
We can't be discussing it
With just anyone
I hope you understand
What's your name
Well we can talk to Rag
About it if you like.
It's fine, Galabras.
You kind of probably think that's a little weird
because this is the Knight of Ozem.
Yeah.
I mean, this is a pretty badass paladin situation.
If there's anyone you can trust, it's probably a paladin.
But that's Lork.
Pardon me, sir.
You are a Knight of Ozem, are you not?
It's ma'am, and yes.
No, no, knights are still sirs.
You still call them sir?
Oh, that's weird.
Wow, you're really rude.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
You and your gender normative...
Oh, my God.
I blew it.
I blew it.
By the way, when you touched her, she's poisoned.
With a contact poison?
Everybody roll forward to say DC-17.
I think we need to purify literally every food and drink we use.
She says, I'm sorry, young man.
I got hit in the head.
I don't know who I am.
Yes, young man, what's your question?
Are you injured?
I am.
I took quite a bit of beating, but it's
nothing I can't shake off in a couple of days.
Let me look.
My name's Calabris,
by the way. Oh, Calabris, all right.
Fine.
I have to say, I haven't seen you around
these parts too much.
Oh, sorry.
Seeing stars.
Oh, sex pot, Calabrus.
My name is Calrian.
Calrian Blix.
And as you know, I am a knight of Ozem.
I'm in charge of this way station,
and I work at, I live at Castle Farine.
Castle Farine? I don't know it.
It's one of the main, and you can see Baron on your ledger,
it's pretty much where the Esk and the Kestrel meet.
So you guys have come far enough along in your journey where you're at.
And are we on the river Esk?
Is Kestrel the one that we're going to get on, to turn onto?
Baron, you've got it. It's the southern one.
I don't feel like bringing up the map. I think you're on the Kestrel.
Yes, we're on Kestrel.
Oh, okay. We're approaching there. And then it turns
and goes northwest
to the Esk. So you're
nearing the confluence, and
Castle Farine is like one of the big castles
that's right there. Do you guys want to roll a knowledge?
I'd like to ask her, I say,
Castle Fereen, that's near the Ghostlight March, isn't it?
Indeed it is.
It stands just south of the Ghostlight March,
right at the edge of the war zone that you probably know as Lastwall.
I've heard it's pretty spooky over there.
Is there anything you could tell me about it?
It's nothing that our clerics of Yomadai can't take care of.
There are some undead up to the north shore,
and of course the orc threat to the west,
but it's nothing the likes of the Knights of Ozem haven't seen before.
While she's talking, I heal her with the wand for eight points.
Who are the Knights of Ozem?
Thank you, young man.
My pleasure.
I believe Galadras told you
in a previous episode.
The Knights of Ozem were a...
I don't remember.
They're a military organization
that was formed to combat
the Whispering Tyrants
in the Shining Crusade.
Ah.
Right, we've dedicated
to the goddess Yomadai and we're based in Lastwall, in the Shining Crusade. Ah, right. We've dedicated to the goddess Yomadai
and we're based in Lastwall,
in the capital of Lastwall, Vigil.
I'm sure you know it.
And yes, we first rose to prominence during the fight
against the Whispering Tyrant during the
Shining Crusade. And now
we just do our best to
combat the undead to the north and the orcs
to the west. You've lost your accent.
I'm doing the best I can. She's a spy!
Kill her!
I say.
We're all afforded, you'd say.
I want to ask, do you think this was a coordinated attack,
or is this just normal kind of an orc raid on this waystation here?
I didn't get a chance to look at the orcs
as I was killing them,
but they just seemed like mongrels
from a random band.
Now that I look over your shoulder
and see their corpses,
it doesn't seem as if they have any markings.
The orc attacks have been getting
greater and more frequent as of late.
Most likely they were planning to sack
these way stations along the river
in preparation perhaps for a larger assault against Castle Farine.
It makes total sense.
Have you encountered any orcs from the Twisted Nail tribe?
Not recently.
The Twisted Nails are up closer towards the fort area, from what I hear.
Well, a paladin of Iomedi, I think we can trust if we can trust anyone.
Right, Galabras?
Yes.
Knights of Ozymand are honourable and brave, and I would absolutely trust her.
And if you are battling the Whispering Tyrant, then you would understand,
or if you had battled the Whispering Tyrant, you would understand
that we are trying to stop a union among orcs and giants that threatens
to expand
the hold of Belkson into the
peaceful territories surrounding it.
And where might they be located?
Right now,
we're headed to, I don't remember where,
but we need to go to Ghostlight Marsh.
We are heading in the direction of Ghostlight Marsh, if you want to ride.
Ghostlight Marsh? Well,
you're not too far away from the marsh,
but what business have you there? Are you
travelling farther up the Kestrel, or
does your journey end at Ghostlight
Marsh? We'll eventually
get further up the
river, we're going up the Kestrel until we get
to the River Esk, and then we'll continue
up north
that way to Red Lake Fork.
Fort. Our DM called it Fork and got us all confused.
It's quite confusing.
Right when you say Red Lake Fort, her eyes widen and she grows visibly excited.
And says,
That was good. That was good.
That was good.
Skip thinks it's you.
Just because you mentioned a fort.
I didn't know.
That's all it took.
I didn't know that was what. took. I didn't know that was what it took.
A paladin's idea of foreplay.
All this talk of forts is getting me hungry.
To love.
Oh, my stomach hurts.
She goes, you'll be heading to Red Lake Fort.
Well, then you're going to need this.
And she produces
a map
and hands it to Lork.
Oh, wow! Oh, it's a map
of the fort? I mean,
this is an ancient map.
I'm sure a lot has changed
since my ancestors were there,
but I can't believe
you're heading there. It's
just so strange.
One of my great, great,great-great-grandfathers,
a man named Fabian,
was the fort's cleric.
Anyways, he died during the final siege of the fort,
but one of his sons, my great-grandfather, escaped
through a hidden sewer tunnel in the fort. And as you can see, right there on the map,
you can see a sewer tunnel way, way up top here. And as far as I know, it's most likely submerged,
but that's how he escaped. And, you know, he carried this map with him
and it just kind of laid with me
and my family ever since.
I can't believe that you'll be heading up there.
What serendipity.
It's lucky for us you take this map to work
every day. I never leave home
without it.
So, are we to
believe we might be able to
sneak into the fort through this sewer tunnel and surprise them without walking right up to the front gate?
Well, as I mentioned, this is an old, old map. That's from my great-grandfather's memory, Hugh Druitt.
So, probably a lot has changed, and if you're going up there to fight a band of orcs, and who knows what odds are, it's changed completely.
There are multiple levels. That's just a piece of the pie.
Piece of the puzzle?
Puzzle?
Puzzle.
She's been beaten, Calabros.
Give her a break.
Does Castle Fyreen have any type of scouting parties
that go and travel up towards the Red Lake Fort
ever? Do you have any eyes on the territory
or what might be in and out of there?
The Fereen, the
scouting parties around Castle Fereen
mainly stay around the confluence
of the Kestrel and the Esk, so we don't travel that
far northwest.
So I wish
I had more information about the actual fort
itself and what's been going on there today,
but it's just rather...
Who did the fort fall to?
Was it the orcs?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Did Rag walk into the room?
I don't know.
I'm not quite sure how it all came to pass.
You just know it came under attack and you're great, great, great.
She's being a little dodgy.
Can I do a sense motive?
Sure.
That's a lie.
18 sense motive.
15 sense motive.
No idea.
Glamorous, especially, and Lork to a certain extent,
she seems to be bothered every time she brings up the name like her ancestors.
Oh, maybe they betrayed.
Maybe she's trying to live down what they did in the past,
and she doesn't want to revisit that.
Pardon me, lady, but there is
seems to be a certain amount of
reluctance in your voice
when you speak of your
forebears. I don't mean to pry,
but...
Well, I...
I'm sorry to be
so coy.
It's just a
dark time in our past. And very reluctantly, Coy, it's just a dark time in our past.
And very reluctantly, she says,
there's always been stories passed down in our family
in regards to the fort's original castellan,
who was a despicable, vile man.
He was my ancestor, Fabian Blix.
My great-grandfather rarely spoke of his time at the fort,
and though I don't know any more details,
I do recall that the mention of the fort or its castellan
caused him to go pale and visibly tremble.
Can I do a history check to see if I know anything about this,
if any of this is familiar?
Sure. You can do, like, a history about Red Lake
Fort. Can I do that
as well? Sure.
18.
Okay.
18 is good. 15 for Gromley.
Okay, that's actually, Galabras
nailed it then.
You guys know that it was originally part of
Harkus' blockade.
It was the second line of strongholds defending last walls,
retreating northern border with Delkson.
So as the orcs and the humans were fighting,
it was like the second line of defense.
It was named for a bunch of crimson algae
that grew within the moat surrounding the fort.
And when the fort fell,
there's all these ghost stories about what happened,
but no one quite knows for sure.
So if she's saying that her ancestor, this Fabian Blix,
was some viable, despicable person,
and the great-grandfather, anytime they mention the name,
he started to shake and tremble.
It kind of confirms what you've always known.
As you were reading Galabras before you left True Now,
it confirms what you were reading,
that, like, some shit went down there,
and no one quite knows for sure.
Yes.
That place has a dark reputation.
I don't blame you for your
reluctance.
If you be going there,
you've already done so much for me, but I would be very interested in knowing
of my ancestor's
fate, what happened to him,
what he did. I mean, I don't know if there'll be any
evidence there at all, but
if there is, if you should learn anything
about him while you're there
and if your travels take you back this way,
if you could stop by and let me
know, I'd be right grateful.
I'd love to kind of
close that chapter in my family history.
I promise you, lady, I will do
everything in my power to bring
you this, if I can.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
He normally pops up behind Glockner's shoulder like, he can grow in size. If you know what I can thank you thank you very much only pops up behind behind his shoulder like he can grow in size if you know what I mean I'm happier alive
and I also pledge my services to help close this chapter but I'd like to know
a slightly indelicate question why didn't the orcs just kill you?
Were they asking you questions?
What were their intentions with you?
Why were you just tied up?
They don't normally leave survivors behind.
That's very true.
You're a very wise dwarf.
They were grilling me and beating me for information about the castle's defenses,
and I wouldn't give it up.
Castle Farine.
Yes.
So odds are, had I held out any longer,
they would have just killed me or done worse.
Thankfully, you came in time to save me.
I would not give up their defenses.
I would die before I let them take over the castle.
So they were planning...
It sounds like they're planning an attack on the castle, then.
Yes.
And are they, did they mention
a leader at all or
anyone by name? Like I said, just
looking at them they just seem like the regular
scum that we fight all the time.
But you'd think the regular scum wouldn't be
interrogating you about the defences of
a fortress so tough to...
Very true. We have noticed that lately
that the tribes have been getting bigger and bigger
so perhaps they're banding together.
This is a terrible time to be in Belkson, a terrible time to be a knight, but also the best time, the best time for Yomadai, the inheritor.
She will prevail above all this evil.
And perhaps when you're done your journey, some of you could join the knighthood as well.
The Knights of Ozum can always use good, strong men and women like yourself to join.
Can I ask you another question?
Sure.
Have you ever heard of a place called the Vault of Thorns?
The Vault of Thorns? No.
Supposed to be in Ghostlight Marsh.
No, I've never heard of it. I've heard ghost stories about the marsh,
but that's one place people don't go fooling around in there.
Not that I believe any of that hogwash,
but there's just no reason to go in there.
As we're trying to help you out,
if there's any type of intel you could give us
for someone who might be an expert at Castle Fereen,
maybe a historian or a librarian
or someone like that we could talk to while we're there?
I don't think
you'll be going to the castle unless Rag has some
other plans. The castle's a little farther inland.
Oh, okay. I'm sure Rag just wanted you to
drop off some supplies.
We'd be glad to house you, but
knowing Rag, he's probably got a
timetable to keep.
But if there's anything I can do to repay you,
it's a very small token,
but would you mind helping me up?
Yeah, so Lorca will help her up.
She helps you up, and she says,
would you follow me outside
just in case there's any other trouble out there?
It's a trap!
It's a trap!
She walks you outside and walks around back to the
smaller building that was
connected to the main building
and unlocks the door.
She sees
the dead horses and she's
upset but she
moves on
and she says,
it's small, it's not much
but we knights, we don't
care much about material possessions,
but I certainly won't be needing
this for a while, and I'd like to give it to you.
And she
hands this beautiful saddle
to whoever
among you would like to take it.
Grumly will take it.
Okay.
And you have this
awesome,
awesome looking saddle.
Nice.
If it's all right to,
I'd like to,
when we're done,
check the bodies of the orcs
that we killed.
But I'd also like to ask,
what's the strategic value
of this way station?
Is there anything important here?
Is it just a lookout?
What's it usually used for?
It serves multiple purposes.
Like we use it for a lookout, as you say.
We use it for trade.
As your captain was bringing us supplies that I would then,
our people would come and take it back to the castle to help with our defenses.
and the supplies that I would then,
our people would come and take it back to the castle to help with our defenses.
And we use it to just kind of have a foothold along the river
to keep the orcs and the bad guys away.
And you said you were the only person guarding it.
In this day, yes.
Okay.
It isn't my only job.
We switch off from time to time.
Not unlike my accent.
You notice, by the way, Galabras and Gormley,
that the saddle is glowing.
I was about to detect magic on the saddle.
It's glowing with faint transmutation magic.
Interesting.
Can I spellcraft it, or do I just find it later?
Sure. Interesting. Can I spellcraft it, or do I just find it later? Sure.
21.
It is a
horse master's saddle.
It is
from Ultimate Equipment.
This ornate military saddle
tooled with an elaborate
equine motif grants the
mount a plus five competence bonus
on acrobatics checks.
Wow.
And the mount's rider a plus five competence bonus
on ride checks.
Wow.
So these are like Air Jordans of saddles.
They make you jump faster, higher, run faster.
In addition, the mount gains the benefits
of any teamwork feats possessed by the rider.
I don't know if we have anybody here that uses teamwork.
If somebody takes levels in Inquisitor or something,
teamwork feats are kind of cool.
Or Cavalier.
It's worth a lot of gold.
Should I appraise it, or are you just going to tell me?
You can appraise it.
You can appraise it.
You can get down on your knees and put that saddle.
I'll appraise you if I could.
I rolled a 10 on the appraise.
It's going to be worth more than 10,000 gold.
Whoa.
Yeah, well, plus five on ride checks.
I mean, that's crazy.
That's really nice.
But beyond its worth, if you ever had a great horse with which to use it,
you would be quite formidable.
If only we had a horse like Reggie.
Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Oh, Reggie. Whose gender is still minute. Wait a minute. Oh, Reggie.
Whose gender is still up in the air, apparently.
Well, the DM did say last episode that whatever you say goes.
It's true.
She's a girl.
She's a girl.
So, yeah, she's pretty much told you, answered all your questions.
She's very grateful.
She gives you the saddle.
Do you need an escort back to
Castle Farine, or do you think you're okay to
get there yourself? I have a feeling
that they won't be coming back for
a little while. They sent a huge
group against me, and
I can't imagine they're
organized enough to be sending another one right
away, so my
next shift will be
coming in tomorrow. I'm sure I can make it through the night.
I appreciate it.
Would you like us to bring Rag Screw up here to get all the trading done?
I mean, it seems insignificant now in the larger scheme of things,
but I'm sure Rag wants to complete his mission, so yes.
You never know when that equipment might come in handy.
It's true. I wish I
had it along with the four of you
when the attack first went down.
So yeah, you guys can do that
and Baron, you wanted to search the bodies of the orcs?
Yes. Should I do a perception?
No, I'll just tell you what you find. They're each wearing
studded leather. Okay.
They each have a falchion.
They each have a spiked gauntlet.
Okay. They each have a dose of ant. They each have a spiked gauntlet. Okay.
They each have a dose of antitoxin.
There you go.
So, hey, do they have vials of poison?
Well, how many?
No, they use them.
So we have three vials of antitoxin?
Correct.
And they each have 44 gold pieces.
Oh, nice.
Sweet.
They must have just split up. They must have just split up, or they must have just gotten paid.
Baron looks down at the gauntlet.
The dead ones don't have anything.
Baron looks down at the gauntlet and kind of looks it over and says,
looks at his left hand, which he doesn't hold his gun in,
and says, this will do real nicely. And he kind of wraps the spike gauntlet around his left hand, which he doesn't hold his gun in, and says, this will do real nicely.
And he kind of wraps the spike gauntlet around his left hand.
So if someone gets right up in his face,
he can fucking punch them.
All right.
Boom, boom, boom.
Where's the spike gauntlet?
And so over the course of the next hour or so,
you guys, you relay all this information to Rag, blah, blah, blah.
You drop off all the stuff, all the stuff from the armory,
and you're ready to shove off again.
And as we're leaving, say,
milady, it was a pleasure to have met you,
and I hope our paths cross again.
May your medallion be with you always.
Gormley pops up and says,
he's a really nice guy, too.
He cooks. Hey, I just a really nice guy, too. He cooks.
Hey, I just met you.
This is crazy.
This episode is getting shut down by iTunes.
Okay, so...
Lork will shake her hand as he leaves and just say,
that was a fine piece of fighting you did back there.
It's, like I said, it's very
impressive and it was an honour
to meet you, a knight of Ozil.
Don't thank me, thank the Inheritor.
But may she watch over you.
Good luck in your travels
and good luck at the fort.
I can only imagine what
could be there and I look forward to any information
you may find on my ancestor Fabian Blix.
All right.
Thank you, sir.
I promise it.
Bye.
Ma'am, ma'am, sir, ma'am.
I'm sorry.
Okay, so you make it back to the dock, blah, blah, blah,
and you shove off,
and by now it's a little later in the evening.
I want so badly to find out what's beneath that staircase.
What's the door number one?
I think the listeners want to know.
Yeah, seriously.
That was like 17, 18 episodes ago.
The lork found that door.
Yeah.
Yeah, so.
I think it's going to be another Gareon.
So the night passes.
You guys have dinner.
Galabras blesses the food
for the four of you
and for Benverine.
I'm assuming he's blessing
Benverine's food.
Yes.
Unfortunately,
we're not allowed
in the kitchen.
Not allowed in the kitchen,
so Gashnok prepares the meal
and it's mediocre as usual.
And
you know,
lights start going out.
You
drop anchor.
People start turning in for the night.
They're having their big ruckus, as usual.
Partying, gambling, drinking
up top.
As usual, Goshnock passed out on the floor.
Classic Gosnok.
And everyone's having fun.
And you guys are where?
Are you in the fun?
Are you in the blah?
Halrex, you would assume, is in the chart room.
Rag, you would assume, is in his quarters.
What do you do?
Yeah, I think we want to try to go
check out that stairwell well is tog still locked up or did they let him out hey what was rag's
decision right yeah man it has been a little while um so when you come back to the boat uh you guys
were away for a little while especially you know time passed in the fight with the direwolves the
fight with the orcs your conversation with fight with the orcs, your conversation with her, searching the bodies, blah, blah, blah, making sure everything was set.
By the time you come back on board,
Tog is no longer
in the brig.
I don't know if you ask Rag
about it, or you just kind of
understand that he served
his punishment. Lork had a talk with Rag
and was like, I believe him to be innocent.
I think he's going to be okay.
And Rag's like, well, it won't hurt to leave him in there overnight and let him cool off.
So you assume that's what happened.
And if any of you go up to the quarters, you'll see that Tog is there.
He's not kind of enjoying the merriment as much as everyone else.
But he's there, and he's sipping out of a bottle.
If Lork makes any eye contact with him, he's just going to give him a little nod.
And Tognon's right back at you.
Maybe raises a glass.
Yeah.
I think maybe I suggest that over the course of the evening,
we kind of plan amongst each other to meet down in the brig.
Yeah.
So that we can check out.
Okay.
And Rag assumes that one of you is,
that Baron is going to be working
on that hole when he finishes his
fishing contraption or concurrently with
that work. And you mentioned
that you would work throughout the night.
And there's no one
posted there. So,
because it's night. They don't assume you're going to
do anything. He
trusts you at this point. Right.
Fool. Fool that he is.
Do you know
how this game works?
I do
as a bit of bookkeeping kind of mention that
I'm not feeling so great
after that battle.
Oh, right, right, right.
If we think
we might explore a little bit,
we might want to top ourselves off a little bit or sleep.
Well, I think we can get eight hours of rest
and meet at two in the morning or something like that.
Like, we got back at dusk.
They said it was the afternoon.
Well, yeah, I mean, you run the risk of being caught doing that.
Like, in terms of timing.
I'll top everybody off with the healing. You're not going to be able Like, in terms of timing. Do you know what I mean?
I'll top everybody off with the healing.
Yeah.
You're not going to be able to rest and go down there.
It's all part of the same day.
Okay.
Five points to Baron.
I just don't understand why not.
Well, you came back at night.
Night-ish.
You want another one?
Yeah.
You know, by the time you guys shoved off...
Oh, yeah, I guess they did all the unloading.
You had your dinner, and now it's night.
So if you sleep eight hours, it's going to be 8 a.m.,
and people are going to be up and getting into the Roaring Darts.
Five points, the Baron.
I am great.
I mean, healing is just not going to get me near my max hit points.
You know, lots of charges will, but...
Galabras has used two channels.
And how many charges are on that one?
But you've got a ton of charges on the wand.
Yeah.
I've got like 37 charges
oh okay
good
hit me
so
do it
two
fuck
again
two
awesome
oh god
alright eight
there we go
no one other one
oh yeah choose some choose some nine there we go. No, one other one?
Oh, yeah.
Choose some.
Choose some.
Nine.
There we go, baby.
I'm good.
Warmly?
Don't waste it on me.
I'm only three down.
Okay.
Feeling great.
I'm going to take one for myself.
Oh, do you want this?
A little nip for myself.
Welcome to the healing podcast.
And I'm good.
Okay.
Between all the healing we did and then all those concentration checks, you get to prepare less content, and it'll still last good. Okay. Between all the healing we did and then, like, all those concentration checks,
you get to prepare less content, and it'll still last longer. Great.
I'm on autopilot.
I'll remember every poison check from here on out.
So right now I have Galabras has used two channels,
and then Gormley used Mage Armor, which is now worn off,
and Inflict Light, and Galabras use True Strike.
You guys have done your healing.
The boat, quietly sitting at night.
The moonlight, the only light, as you sneak onto the deck,
go into the hatch, climb down, walk through the hole,
and, Lork, you bring them over to the discolored boards
okay
um
I'd like to roll
a stealth check
to uh
so good
do we have to
enter the numbers
cut to
4
8
15
16
23
42
cut to
uh
Galabras' birth.
It's a boy!
A wailing woman.
It's Galabras on like a Viking ship.
And you see how it all went down.
Flashback.
Come here, boy.
You got a pretty mouth.
Okay, so...
So I'll do a stealth check again to open up the door.
Okay.
The trap door, natural 20.
Looks like it was meant to be already.
So are you stealthily?
Just opening the trap door.
Okay, sorry.
Right.
Okay, so you guys see this ladder leading down.
Yeah, ladder leading down.
And I cast lights on my gauntlets.
Great.
Awesome.
Provide light.
And Lork will lead the way down.
He's been down here before.
He's seen it before.
And he knows that if I'm not mistaken, there's like some shelving, some stuff, open room.
There's little puddles of water on the floor.
stuff, open room.
There's little puddles of water on the floor.
And so there are shelves to have the cargo
not get wet, because you would assume that
this part of the boat gets
a little flooded.
And then there's a door, right?
One single door. There is a little staircase.
Hey, you know what? How about a map?
Hey! You guys want to have a little map
action? Let's do it. A little maction?
I did a new technique with my map for this part.
I drew it on grid paper.
Look at that.
Isn't that fun?
The old-fashioned way.
Isn't that kind of fun?
All right, so you come down the ladder, and you're cramped,
but there's a staircase leading down into a recess.
Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. There's a staircase. It's a recess. Oh, sorry. Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
There's a staircase.
It's not a reflection on your DMing.
Leading down to a, you know, a sunken area,
and when you get down to that 15-foot wide area,
it's, you don't have to squeeze anymore,
and that's where the door is.
Show me where you are in relation to said staircase and i'm
behind sunken lorke i should probably get up there if i'm going to try to disable the trap uh
and i can take a look at it with engineering at some point if that is a reasonable check at some
point but yeah that's fine it's pretty much going to be a uh one you know lork explains what happened
lork on the only one down this the stairs, and then Galabras is on the stairs,
and the other two are still in the room where the cage was?
Am I understanding this right?
No, they're all, everyone's downstairs.
Everyone's downstairs.
Yeah, you brought everybody down.
Okay.
You rolled a 20 stealth, and that was enough to move the boards quietly, climb down.
Now, do you replace the boards?
Yeah.
Okay.
Or should one of us pretend
like we're working on that hole so we
can... No, let's just move.
There's danger down here. I don't want anybody
separated. It's up to you. Up to you.
Whatever you guys think is best. If Baron
wants to wait upstairs, he can. I'll come.
Okay. So you guys all come down.
You can't
fit all of you down those stairs. There's only
space enough for three one
directly in front of the door one to the left and one to the right uh and then someone can be on the
stairs and then uh okay i'll be i'll be up at the door so i can disable it all right so you switch
places with lork can i disable it from diagonally or do i need to be right in front of it now you
gotta be right in front of me. These are tight quarters.
Talk to me about what you want to do.
I want to roll a disabled device to disable the... I assume Lork imparted what he knows of the trap, what he saw.
Correct.
And I'm going to roll a disabled device.
Don't you have to do, regardless,
don't you have to do a perception check to see the trap?
I mean, just because you know it's there
doesn't mean you know how it works or whatever.
But you do know what it does.
Yeah.
Right.
I mean.
What's your call?
Yeah.
No.
Because you already.
Said there was a trap.
You know it's trapped.
The perception check is to notice the trap.
You know it's trapped.
Okay.
So now you're going to attempt to disable it.
Yes.
I'm going to cast guidance on myself.
And I'll give you a bit of luck. Thank you. So that's a plus one. Plus one. Okay. She's going to need it for Yes, I'm going to cast Guidance on myself. And I'll give you a bit of luck.
So that's a plus one.
She's going to need it for the reflexes.
How many bit of lucks is that for Galaverus?
Three? I have one left.
One bit of luck left.
Can I impart a bonus
with Knowledge Engineering?
It's your luck.
16.
The die has been cast.
He rolls a 16. The die has been cast. He rolls a 16.
The ropes come out
and just go limp.
What?
You're disabled.
Nice!
And no.
That was...
That was so weird.
I remember that sound.
All right, so I'll quietly tell Gormley to step aside.
Would you want me to switch places with Galabras?
That way I can hex from behind you, if I can see into the room?
Sure, whatever you want to do.
I'm just going to stand in front of the door and open it, or at least try to.
Do you know if it's locked?
Yeah, I didn't check that part.
Can Lork check to test to see if it's locked?
Sure.
Is it locked?
It is not locked.
Okay.
Okay, then I will do a stealth check and open the door.
God, finally we get into this goddamn...
I know, right?
Here we go.
Fuck, geez.
Twelve.
So what did you do?
You stealthed into the room with a twelve?
I just opened the door.
Just trying to peek in.
A couple things are going to happen.
A couple things are going to happen.
It's a poison laboratory.
Okay, so you open the door and you peek in,
and you see that this five-foot-wide corridor
stretches for about 80 feet.
Oh.
And there's another door at the other end.
Almost the length of the boat.
Yes.
On either side of this, of the... Hallway?
Not even a hallway,
because on either side of the walkway, we'll call it,
this five foot wide walkway,
the corridor is filled with sludge and muck
to a depth of two feet.
And it counts as a shallow bog.
So it's two squares of movement
to walk within the...
If you're walking on either side of the
walkway. This boat is fucked up. This is really weird.
It's a five foot walkway, you said? Hey, you know what?
Let me show you the map.
Okay, alright. I cast group
water walking on the...
So, I'm gonna leave the party order.
Oh, you all taped a bunch of graph paper together.
It looks like a urethra.
Kind of fun.
It does look like a...
Like a cross-section of a dick is what it looks like.
What's the lighting like?
What's the lighting?
What's the lighting like?
It is dim lighting.
I've got my gauntlet. Yeah. I've got my gauntlet.
Yeah, you've got your gauntlet.
So as long as Gormley stays close to Galabras.
Within 20 feet.
Within 20 feet, you will not take a 20% mischance.
Is this correct here with Lork up front, flanked by Baron and Gormley with Galabras in the back?
It's not going to matter.
Well, it's going to matter to me.
So see, there's a five-foot-wide walkway that extends all the way, door at the other end,
and then ten-foot-wide on either side is muck.
So to move in this, it's going to cost you two squares of movement.
To move on this, it's going to cost you normal movement to move on the walkway.
Before we go in, Norma's going to cast
light on her hope knife.
Ah.
So she can see herself.
So, Warwick, you try to stealthily open the door and you just kind of
slam it against the wall.
With a 12. A 12 is a slam
against a wall? Come on.
Slam. Can I do a
can I do either a alchemy or a knowledge or profession fisherman check on this sludge to see what it's composed of or if there's anything special about it at all?
You'd have to walk into the room and kind of get down in there to examine it.
Okay.
When we do go down in there, I will do those checks.
Sure.
Who would like to enter?
I would like to do a perception check on the
five feet in front of me.
Well, first I want to do a survival check
to see if I see any tracks or prints
on the five foot walkway
that's right in front of me. Okay.
25.
You do indeed
see tracks.
25, you see two sets of tracks
Coming and going
Are they human in nature?
They appear to be humanoid
In nature, yes
Any disturbingly large tracks or anything like that?
They look normal size?
They look to be medium sized creatures
Yeah, they do appear to be boots
Not barefoot or anything like that.
Okay, I'm just going to do a perception on the few, you know, whatever,
five, ten feet in front of me to just see if there's any traps or any sort of...
So you're looking in the square in front of you and maybe the square ahead of you.
I'm not going to let you look at those.
Okay.
24.
24. 24.
Nothing. It is completely...
And it looks stable? Yeah, it looks very stable.
It looks like that would be the easiest
way to walk across. It's just
going to slow you down to get into the sludge.
So you can walk
10 feet ahead if you want and let the party come in
around you, or you can just scout out
ahead yourself. Just let me know what you, as a
party, decide to do. But you can tell
the first ten feet in front of you. Lork just
starts to slowly walk up. So he
covers that ten feet. Can I roll this
perception over? Do I have to roll every ten feet?
Like, how do you want to play it?
What is your roll
for the perception? Twenty-four. Twenty-four.
I mean, you've got to keep rolling if you're
going to keep perceiving along the thing.
Or if you're perceiving around you.
So every 10 feet, I'm perceiving.
Okay.
So next 10 feet, 14.
Okay.
So you step in.
The first square, nothing.
Second square, nothing.
You already figured it out.
Third square, nothing.
The fourth square, you see a trap.
Oh, okay.
So 20 feet into the room, you detect a trap.
Okay. I will call Gorm, you detect a trap. Okay.
I will call Gormley up.
All right.
Okay.
Gormley will come up.
So you will switch positions then to have Gormley stand right behind the trap.
And I'm going to come in and stand in the sludge to the right of the...
How deep is the sludge?
How deep is your sludge? Yeah, of the uh how how deep is the sludge how deep is your sludge yes two feet deep
so now moving through that uh costs you double movement each time and it's only difficult terrain
it's not so it's not mud it's like a swamp it's um i mean baron hasn't looked at it yet okay but
you could probably figure out if you could move through it even at half speed that's pretty
impressive like i was imagining like really dense, but it's not like that.
For these purposes, it acts as a shallow bog.
What's Ben Vereen doing during all this?
He's staying with Lork.
He's staying with Lork.
Well, you've only got five feet of movement, so is he in the bog?
No, he'll just be behind me.
His head would be below Warren.
Possibly.
So right now you have Gormley.
She sees a trap. You point out a trap have Gormley. She sees a trap.
You point out a trap to Gormley.
Behind Gormley is Lork.
Behind Lork is Benverine.
To the right of Benverine in the bog,
the swampy part,
is Galabras, and then
still outside the room. He does have them
agile feet, dog. Correct.
Behind Benverine is
Baron, still outside the room gormley what do you do
first things first mage armor okay now you already cast it so you prepped it it's a level one so i
don't have to prepare okay fair enough so you can cast it again oh and i'm gonna cast shield of
faith on myself it's just doing that okay great so you guys start buffing yourself and then gormley
will touch yourself for guidance and then i'll roll disable device on the trap. Okay.
Natural 20.
What was the trap?
What was the nature of it? It was like a snare trap. It would have constricted
around you and held you there. Okay.
Can I do a perception
now? If something was just going to hold
me there, can I do a perception on kind of the walls
to either side to see
the ship's walls just to
see if there's any sort of like traps that are not right on the walkway sure and you know like
dart traps you're just looking traps looking to both sides of you to see if there's any basically
yeah um 24 yeah so no whatever that was was just going to grab up and like constrict around a limb
and hold you there i just wonder what the reason is for that. Why would you just hold somebody there?
Well, that's like the door, too.
It's like the door at least had an alarm.
But it's like a spider web, right?
It doesn't matter if
whoever made that trap
is there when it happens. They just want to get you after you
got... Sure, and that's not the only reason for
my perception check. Let me be clear. I'm also
looking ahead for other traps. I'm just saying I'm not
looking only at the floor right there.
That's all.
Uh,
do you want me to keep moving up?
Do another perception after 20 feet or are you going to,
yeah.
Are you going to switch with,
uh,
yeah,
we'll be formally behind Ben.
Okay.
Uh,
so yeah,
you can do the next two squares,
uh,
18 on the next two squares.
Nothing.
Uh,
the next two squares, natural 20, 29, nothing. Uh, next two squares. Nothing. The next two squares, natural 20, 29.
Nothing.
Next two squares, 14.
You see another trap directly in front of you.
It's so funny.
My lowest rolls, I happen to be perceiving the traps.
Okay, so you see another trap.
At this point, you're all walking to the room.
Baron, are you staying single file behind them?
Yeah, I'm pretty short.
So you want to take a look at this sludge?
Yeah, should I do alchemy or
fisherman? No, it's fisherman.
23.
This area is known as the bilges.
This is where... It's the bilge water.
Yeah, it's bilge water that's just building up
and there's probably a pump room
that they use to kind of pump it out.
It's just natural.
And the reason it's sludgy, it's like the rotting wood and the other shit that's getting in there, seaweed.
It just makes it kind of slow to move through.
Wolverine dung.
Very common for this to be this way.
And that's why there's the platform to make it a little bit better.
Not too common to trap your bilge room, though, right?
It does not seem like a common thing to do. It's going to make it in little bit better. Not too common to trap your build room, though, right? It does not seem like a common thing to do.
It's going to make it in the Yelp review.
Or put in a secret door to get into it.
Yeah, right?
Yeah.
All right, so you tell me about the trap?
Yeah.
Yeah, so I'm going to try to get Gorms to disable it again.
All right.
Okay.
Guidance one more time.
That's not going to work.
13.
No, 14.
14?
Is that your final answer?
Yeah, that's my final answer.
Is that your final answer?
You disabled the trap.
Oh.
Okay.
All right, so these aren't incredibly well-made traps.
No.
And what would it have done?
Same thing?
Same exact, yeah, you get the sense it's the same exact kind of trap.
All right, all right, all right.
Back to behind Penrine.
Okay, next 10 feet.
To my calculations, there's, well, not even, still about 30 feet.
So next 10 feet.
Easy.
15.
Yeah, you don't see anything.
Next 10 feet.
14.
Yeah, you don't see anything
And it looks like last 10 feet to the door
21
Okay, so 21 on the last 10 feet towards the door
Mm-hmm
Two squares away from the door
So 10 feet
You see one more trap
Gotcha
On the walkway
Wow, these sneaky fucking Russians.
These bilge rats.
Very smart of you, a very tomb of horrors of you
to have looked at every space along the way.
What made you think to do that?
To be honest, I thought that the bilge water stuff
on the side, the way you described it to me
did not sound like just water that was dirty.
It sounded like it was like like
swampy like trap you muck or something like that and i was like i really don't want to fall and i
was like mainly looking for inconsistencies in the wood or whatever but i thought it might be
trad but it was mainly because i didn't want to fall in that shit and be rendered like
i thought i didn't know it would just be half movement i thought it would be like you
well i certainly don't think i gave it away in the way I described the room.
No, no, I think I just over-exaggerated it.
Regardless of Gormley's disabled device, you get a bottle cap.
Hey!
Yeah, all right.
It's heads up plan.
Okay.
And I don't give those out to anybody.
You certainly do not.
That expires in five minutes, by the way.
I think it will be just fine.
Gormley, you step up in front of Lork, I'm assuming, again.
Benverine
flanking you.
Now we're going to have Benverine in front of Lork, right behind Gormley.
What's going through your head, Gormley?
Before I inevitably fail this last trap and die,
I want to render my predictions for what's behind this door.
I have three predictions.
Number one, hideous monster
that will kill us all.
Number two, prisoner of some sort, secret prisoner.
And number three, exotic treasure.
So hideous monster.
Hideous monster.
Secret prisoner.
Secret prisoner.
Or wondrous treasure?
Wondrous exotic treasure.
I have another prediction I want to throw in the mix.
I saw the two sets of tracks.
I think, I believe that there are stowaways on this boat that even the captain doesn't know are here that are doing the shit that we're talking about.
That's what I think.
The sabotage.
I think they're sneaking up the trap door, doing shit at night, messing with the railing, messing with the lock.
Because they could have easily gotten up that trap door
messed with the lock and went back down
and there's two sets of tracks
so maybe two people in league with each other
somebody that we might know
I think it's Malira
oh, that's very interesting
I'm going to revise my prediction to include Joe's thing
in my secret prisoners
secret prisoners or stowaways. People of
some secrecy.
Ah, okay. Fair enough.
Galabras Skid has been saying stowaways
since you guys boarded that first
disaster. He did? I did.
Yeah, if you listen to the podcast,
you'll hear
how impassionately I don't listen
to this podcast. I actually think
it could be R. Kelly.
Trapped in the closet Kelly Trapped in the closet
Trapped in the bilges
The sludge is a dead giveaway
Just chilling in the bilges
One set of prints looks like an underage relative
Oh no
I'm not condoning
I'm making fun of him
He's an awful person
Matthew, roll Gormley's
disable device check
guidance
and then disable device
sure
how many times
oh it's a cantrip
it's a cantrip
uh ooh
uh
20
ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch
everyone roll
a perception check
there we go
do we have time
to switch spots
or should I put Gormley back
I just sort of switched it
that's fine
that's fine
we're all friends here
perception 27 26 for Lork Do we have time to switch spots, or should I put Gormley back? I just sort of switched it. That's fine. That's fine. We're all friends here.
Persepsh.
27.
26.
For Lork.
13 for Gormley.
13.
Okay.
Just at this moment, what'd you roll, Baron?
26.
26, and you're in the back.
Gormley?
13. Okay, so Lork, you notice as you get closer To the end of the room
That the door
At the end of the room
Is slightly ajar
You didn't notice
Until you were 10 feet away
Because it looked
Pretty close
Slightly ajar
Meanwhile Baron
You notice
That
Something
Is going
For Galavris' feet
I knew there was something
In the water
I didn't even think of that.
In the water.
To die in no-
You know what?
This is episode 40.
Roll for initiative.
We're going along.
We're going along.
Let's get ready to-
90-20 initiative for Lorde.
Yes!
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
All right.
Let's do it.
Oh, baby.
This is the garbage compactor in Star Wars.
If the sides of this ship start squeezing out,
I'm going to be very concerned.
Get on top of it.
It's a Dianoga.
A Dianoga is the name of that monster.
You're right.
Yeah.
All right.
So, Lorc, I heard you.
That's too much for me, even.
I heard you yell out that you rolled a natural 20.
Was that the highest in Ish?
Well, 22.
24 for Gormund.
Always one to cut Lork down.
17.
17 for Baron.
17 for me.
17 for Galabras, and Benverine will go after Lork.
But there is a surprise round.
Oh, fuck.
As it were.
As it were.
Let me just get my ships in order.
First thing that happens.
Baron, behind you,
on the walkway, a woman appears.
What?
Uh-oh.
What?
A human woman appears out of, maybe she was invisible, and now she's visible.
She was invisible on the plank that was five feet wide?
Get out of here.
Get out of here.
Remember you noticed the door was cracked at the end?
Yeah.
Get out of here.
Get out of here.
Remember you noticed the door was cracked at the end?
Yeah.
Perhaps she was in there, went invisible,
snuck out around as you were.
In the bilge water?
Doing all of your traps.
And no one rolled above 40 perception, right?
Did somebody roll above 40?
It visibly does give you a crazy bonus against perception. Plus 20.
Plus 20.
This human woman stands there and fires three arrows. Oh, no. At 20. This human woman stands there and
fires three arrows
at Baron.
I don't want to die like this.
She says, die, murderer!
It is Malira!
It's fucking Malira!
Does anybody know who
Malira is? Does anybody remember who Malira is?
I have a lock of her hair in a
locket. Throw it at her!
You know what? Maybe I should just... I didn't
prepare the spell, but I should have passed all to herself
and become her to fight her. That's right.
That would have been badass. You must become her
to fight her. First attack
on Baron in the surprise round.
I'm actually...
I can use...
I can spend one
grip point to hit the floor immediately with my Gunslinger's Dodge.
Okay.
Is that what you choose to do?
Yes.
Okay.
And that's an immediate action.
It gives you what?
A plus two to AC or plus four to AC?
Plus four.
Plus four to AC.
Okay.
But this is your flat-footed AC.
So add a plus four to your flat-footed AC.
The first attack is a 14.
Miss. And it would have hit otherwise.
Oh, wow.
Okay, so you hit the floor.
You are prone.
Second attack, 21.
That still hit, yeah.
That is a hit.
Okay, so second arrow lands true. 10 points of damage.
What?
One arrow.
Third attack.
That's a lot.
19.
Maximum damage.
Is it flat-footed if I took an action, though?
Since you're probably gonna kill him,
I'm gonna step out of this.
Well, it's a, it's a.
Because I don't know for sure.
Here's the thing.
If this was a normal combat, maybe we could make an argument, it's a... Because I don't know for sure. Here's the thing. If this was a normal combat,
maybe we could make an argument this is a surprise round.
Yeah.
Or it's a surprise round.
No.
So, 12 points of damage.
Oh, wow.
Oh, God.
So I took how much total?
22.
From arrows.
That's scary.
And then, near Galabras,
a constricting
Viper emerges
Oh no
It is a Diagnoga
Attempts to bite you
23 to bite
That's a hit
Fortitude saves
It bites Galabras for 7 points of damage
And then attempts to grapple old Galabi
and fails the grapple check.
Oh, thank God, thank God.
It was gonna like, it bit,
but it couldn't hold on with its bite with all the sludge.
And now it's round one.
It's her turn again.
She fires three arrows at Baron.
You will die, she says.
But this is no longer flat-footed.
No, no. No, no longer flat footed No No
No longer flat footed
And plus four
Critical threat
That's times three with an arrow man
No
Yes
Yeah it is
Yes it is
Fuck
It's a named character
Oh boy
To confirm
Natural one on the confirm
Does not confirm.
So it will be
eight points of damage.
Next attack.
God damn.
Critical threat.
Another 19.
Oh my god.
Wait, wait, wait.
No, that's not.
A bow is 20.
A bow is 20 to hit.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I was looking at the
another weapon. You're right, I'm sorry. I was looking at another weapon. Another weapon.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
Nope, not a critical threat, so the other one wasn't either.
But that one is a...
Thank God.
Jesus Christ.
Sorry, I'm sorry.
Wait, what was your total?
It's definitely a hit.
It's still a hit.
Yeah.
And it is seven points of damage.
Last attack, 18.
Miss.
Miss is on the 18.
There you go.
Which would have also hit two.
I'm not feeling so good, guys.
Oh, shit.
So you're laying on the ground.
She just shot six arrows at you.
The snake attacks Galabras again
in the regular round this time.
16.
Miss.
To bite.
Misses.
Whips out its head to try and bite your leg.
And hits the armor.
Hits the armor.
The armor of Oskroth.
Armor of Oskroth, protect me.
And now it is Gormley's turn.
Gormley's going to cast Web on Melira.
Oh, nice.
You're assuming.
Assuming it's Melira.
I'm going to cast Web on the woman.
She's played by Rachel McAdams, by the way.
Oh, Melira is played by Rachel McAdams.
True detective Rachel McAdams.
Can you take us into why you're casting Web on her?
If it works, she's going to become grappled.
So she won't be able to fire arrows.
Yeah, she can't fire arrows.
Is my thinking.
I mean, she's out of range, my evil eye.
But it also makes, does it affect the,
you need two things to hold it.
She's got the walls of the ship.
I've got the walls.
Yeah, so would it affect you guys at all
No, okay, yeah, so you're gonna try like just spiderweb the walls. Yeah, basically catch one giant one man
Okay, get her please bottle cap doesn't I'm gonna have I actually that's great. I'm gonna throw in a bottle cap on this yeah
So disadvantage for her
What's the DC the reflex save 15?
Probably pretty good reflex. She's the DC of the reflex save? 15. She probably has a pretty good reflex.
She's great reflexive.
Phenomenal reflexes.
Pass. Pass.
Oh, god damn!
Very, very close. There's still a web there.
There's still a web.
So it's still difficult terrain for her, right?
Yeah, to get out of it. You are inside
the web. Inside the web, but not trapped.
If we could set it on fire, that would be good.
Yes, that is true.
Fire inside a ship at sea is always a good idea.
Well, there's a lot of bilge water.
Gormley, are you moving at all?
I guess I should...
Should I step down into the bilge water to get out of the way?
I mean, I'll stay where I am.
I like this music.
Yeah, changing it up a little bit. I'll stay where I am. I like this music. Yeah, changing it up a little bit.
I'll stay where I am for now.
Staying where you are, Lork.
Lork is going to say, Calabra Snow!
And he jumps down in the bilge water and attacks the Viper.
Oh.
The Viper.
Calabra Snow!
Calabra Snow!
And critical threat.
Get out of here!
Natty 19 on the foul
action.
14
to confirm. Nope.
Damn! Damn it!
Alright.
And it is...
There we go, baby. 16 damage.
Ooh! Serious damage.
16 damage. Serious damage.
Okay.
It is Ben Farid's turn.
I just want to point out one more thing about the web that I just read.
Because we have more than 20 feet between us and the web, we have total cover.
Oh!
So that means she cannot make ranged attacks at us.
Yeah.
Wait, what?
I'm sorry?
If you have at least five feet of web between you and an opponent,
it provides cover. If you have at least
20 feet. Sure, but the web
is here. No, the web is
a 20-foot radius all around her.
This web is like this? Yeah.
But she can just move right out of it.
She has to roll. She has to roll every time
she moves. The dire wolf had to
roll, and it rolled super high. Right, right.
It jumped up on a ledge. So yeah. Alright, so that
thing. I mean, it's not a difficult
DC to get out of it, but she's gonna have
to close if she wants to.
So it's this much space?
And if she fails, then she gets caught in it. Can you double
check the radius on web? It's a 20 foot
radius. Yeah, I thought so. It's big.
So you've taken the entire
end of the room and covered it
in a web. So for her to move
15 feet ahead, she has
to roll three reflex saves?
Combat maneuver check or an escape artist.
Wow, just to get out of it.
And she can't fire ranged through the web.
Correct. Think about it.
I knew there was a reason I did it.
That was a really good spell.
Great spell.
That sounds like getting the bottle cap back to me it really does
but Ben free
he held it up
and he put it back
alright Ben free what are you doing
I'm not commanding him right now
so you know I just I was very
concerned about Galaverus so I jumped in
I'm not commanding him and you can control him if you want.
He can just stand there or I don't know.
I don't know if they swim.
I don't know if Wolverines.
They do swim.
They do swim.
All right, so you're just going to kind of hold Ben Vereen.
This is a lot.
Sure.
I'm giving him your control.
Your control.
It's up to you.
Yeah.
If you say he holds, he holds.
Okay, Baron.
On the ground, taking some damage.
Taking some damage.
Fuck you.
How long would a potion of sanctuary
keep me from being
attacked?
I don't know.
What does the spell sanctuary do?
It prevents you from being attacked and from attacking others.
It's lowest level, so it would be one round per level.
So one round.
But anyone targeting him gets a will save,
and if they pass the will save, they can still attack as normal.
Okay.
But she can't shoot you from where she is anyway.
Yeah, she cannot shoot you.
Right, so unless the cobra goes after you.
All right, so I'm in a tough place now where I need to heal and I need to help in combat.
So I'm just trying to figure out what I can do.
Baron's choice.
The web buys you a round or two to stand up and do what you need to, and you have two people on there.
Do you have a potion of cure or something?
Yeah, I have cure light.
So I'm going to stand up and...
I do love this music right now.
It's fitting.
I'm going to...
So that's my move action, correct?
Yeah, correct.
So I'm going to take a potion of cure light.
Eight points.
Nice.
That's good.
Good roll.
I'm still not feeling great.
Do you get up?
Yeah, I got up to take it.
And I guess that's my turn.
Alright, it is Galabras'
turn.
I'm going to swing the
Hammer of Usgroth down at this
stinking snake.
Ooh!
23.
23 hits.
Wow.
Seven points of damage.
Nice, Galabras.
And you kill the snake.
Yes!
See?
See?
Yeah.
That's what happens when you take fire levels, baby.
Legolas, blight upon the earth.
Die! Die!
Nice.
Round two. Her turn. the earth die round to her turn first thing that happens she pulls out a wand
touches herself with it and disappears
fucking God and for the first time in
glass cannon podcast history we're gonna
end the episode mid come on. Oh, no! Yes!
Come on.
I want to punch you in the dick. I'm so glad I can think about my imminent death.
You got a week.
A week to stew.
Thank you for that. Outro Music