The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 43 - Frankly My Dear, I Just Blew a Dam
Episode Date: March 22, 2016The heroes turn their attention to the obstacle blocking their path, secure in the knowledge that the traitor has been silenced. But has the danger on board truly passed? For more podcasts and livestr...eams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast
It's time to take inventory
We have grenades
A tangle burn bag
We have gunpowder
Alchemist's fire
Let's blow them down
A risky plan develops
A life-threatening sickness overtakes the ship.
He starts just gagging, and then, like, blood comes up.
Oh, shit.
Fuck.
And the hero's only hope may lie in a powerful new weapon.
A masterwork double-barreled pistol.
What?
What?
What?
Seriously?
Yes.
Wow.
Ghost Light Marsh approaches right now. Oh my god, welcome to episode 43 of the Glass Cannon Podcast. This is me, Skid.
You know, we've been hearing from a lot of you guys about how listening to the podcast has inspired you to start running games of your own, whether it's Pathfinder or other games.
And there are a couple people in particular I wanted to single out.
One is Kevin out in California, who I've been chatting with a lot lately,
who was inspired to start running a Rise of the Runelords Pathfinder campaign with his middle school students out there in California.
with his middle school students out there in California.
And he's actually had me Skype in a couple of times to observe and co-DM a little bit.
And those kids are awesome.
That is so fun for me.
They're really getting into it.
And there's this kid, this girl,
like she wrote, she has an elf ranger
and she hand wrote this five page backstory for her elf.
That's so awesome. And that's just so fun for me. So I five page backstory for her elf. That's so awesome.
And that's just so fun for me.
So I want to thank him for that.
That's great.
And also Spencer, a listener out in the UK who wrote in to tell us how his grandfather
was suffering from terminal cancer and his family was having a difficult time coping
and running the family
business and he started listening to the podcast as a means of escape but uh it inspired him also
to run coincidentally another rise of the runelords pathfinder campaign with his family
so he's running his mother his father his sister his brother through a Rise of the Rune Lords Pathfinder
campaign. None of them have ever played before. And according to him, they're just loving it.
And I don't know, many of you know this, or some of you know this, but my aunt recently passed away
from pancreatic cancer. And I happened to receive his email when I was down in Florida saying last
goodbyes and dealing with the aftermath and it was just the right thing to hear about at just
the right time it just warmed my heart to think of him playing with his family that's so cool
so I just want to thank them I want to thank everybody who's written in to tell us about
their own gaming experiences they They just started playing.
And please keep it up.
We love hearing from you.
That's so great.
But enough of that.
Please, I'm so excited to introduce you to episode 43,
Frankly, My Dear, I Just Blew a Damn.
I've made a terrible mistake.
Again?
Yeah.
I don't know how many you can make.
You're going to have to narrow it down, Troy. I told you timeshares never work out for anyone.
You gave me warning.
No, I opened a bag of sea salt and vinegar chips right before we started recording.
And it's all I can think about.
But it's going to make so much noise so i have to wait an
hour before i can have a chip yes you do i think that's terribly unfair of all the unfairness i
think we should translate this into something sonic so every time you you try to reach for a
chip i think one of us should make a horribly annoying noise to stop you that's fair like i'm
this point will become become Pavlovian.
Okay, well, I think if I do something cool, I'm allowed to have a chip.
Is that fair?
If I do anything fun in this episode, you can mutually decide.
Okay, well, that will never happen.
We'll never get a unanimous vote.
Prepare to wait an hour. All right, so pretty crazy combat with one dead, one left dead, a couple left reeling.
Rags stands up on the boat, walks over to Melira, looks her straight in the eyes,
and just, boom, backhands her across the face.
Whoa.
You started all of this shit.
We've got to deal with this dam.
What have you thought about the past
week?
I
think, and I want a
bottle cap for this.
That's the easiest way not to.
That's a bold opening.
I think Baron should do an engineering check on it.
You motherfucker.
You motherfucker.
Where's my bottle cap? Here you go, skinny weirdo
I'm so glad I brought my switchblade today
I can't wait to stick him like a pig
Speaking of imaginary bottle caps
You forgot last episode that Gary still had a bottle cap left over
I didn't forget
Oh, you didn't? Okay
I'm surprised you were holding on to that.
I'm still saving it.
All right.
So, Baron, did you want to do an engineering check?
Yes, I would love to do a knowledge.
That's a great idea, Skid.
Oh, thanks.
I'd also hazard to attempt to use the useless point of profession fisherman should my engineering check fail because I put that in at your behest.
Fair enough. Let me just roll this.
That is a six engineering.
Can I do a knowledge?
Guys, it's a damn!
Can I do a... What the hell's that?
Can I do a profession fisherman? Sure.
It's like a big wall
in the river. You're getting a lot of mileage out of that profession.
26.
You find a couple of lures caught in the dam.
Oh, fuck you.
Some sardines.
No, it's like crudely constructed.
What is it made of?
Animal carcasses, boulders, and mud.
And it's completely stretching across the now river-esque.
And Rag is like, we've got to clear this dam.
It's going to take three days if we don't figure out an easier way to do it.
And then I've got to get the giraffe horses tied to the boat because we're now making our journey upstream.
What about using the ballista to blast our way through?
Oh, that's a good idea.
That could work.
I've got a few bolts.
Would you aim directly at the boulders
and see if we could just slash our way through?
I'd aim at them.
Animal carcasses, wouldn't they be a little more likely to move
and not break the bolts?
That could work.
That could work.
All right.
Do we just send the bolts themselves,
or do we add something to it to make it wider?
What do you think? I think we add
Calabrus to the bolt. Alright, string
them up!
I disagree. I think that
is a poor plan.
If we could
have some kind of fire.
Do we have any fire?
I could burning hands.
That's not going to do a lot.
We have flame arrow.
I'm trying to help.
One flame arrow.
No, okay.
Yeah.
So we don't have any pyro.
Pyromancer.
Wait, we have burning hands, right?
No, I know.
That's like one that like like, then it's gone.
Okay.
I mean, I could cast them multiple times a day.
See, Troy, you have to learn when you play role-playing games.
You have to learn the subtle little clues that your DM will sometimes drop.
What will you add to the bolts?
So we have to think of something that we can add to the bolts.
That's my interpretation of what choice.
We have fused grenades and flash powder.
Grenades.
We have grenades.
A tangle burn bag.
We have gunpowder.
Alchemist's fire.
Let's blow the dam.
I have flash.
Dam busters.
I actually have.
Is that a thing?
Yeah, a movie.
I have flash powder.
What are thunder stones? We have those too. They make a big noise. Yeah, a movie. I have flash powder. What are thunderstorms?
We have those, too.
They make a big noise.
Yeah, they definitely do.
I could add some black powder to it, although I'd like to keep some.
I'm liking this grenade idea.
Rag is like, you've got grenades.
Let's try the grenades.
You've been holding out on me.
Yeah.
Let's get a bunch of grenades and pile them together.
Yeah. The other thought I had, grenades and pile them together. Yeah.
The other thought I had, and I'm okay with this grenade idea,
is what if we get some of the fishing nets tied up all around it
and use some of the draft horses led by Reginald
to maybe drag some of it away out of the way?
Drag some of the boulders?
Yeah.
Or at least drag the debris out of the explosion.
I could enlarge the horses or enlarge us to help carry away some of the debris after we blast some loose.
All right, so what's the consensus plan?
Blow stuff away and then enlarge or use nets to pull away the debris?
Can we make a cache of grenades and then fire the ballista into the
grenades with like fire that sounds fun that sounds fun let's do that it sounds like an action
movie oh i like that idea i didn't know michael bay was a crew member all right so how many
grenades are you placing them all in kind of a clump in the middle yeah i have three you can do
yeah let's do those i have an adamantine I'd like to save if we ever fight a construct.
Yeah, we have three fuse grenades.
But I would say, like, you could get, with this plan in mind,
I would think Baron could get a second engineering check
to see if there's a particular point in the dam
that would be ideal for placing the grenades.
Right, right, right.
That's fair, that's fair,
even though you failed miserably on that first.
I don't know what to do.
Knowledge checks are so weird that way.
It doesn't make sense a lot of times.
Like you fail or...
I would say if Baron jumps out of the boat,
swims over there and takes a look,
he would be able to know just as a dwarf
that like this is where to put the grenades, right here.
Because I think this has
the best chance of working those grenades aren't said that they're in my possession are they because
i think i've used all those they're just in general storage it does say carried by baron
in our yeah i think we've used most of those so as far as gonna use the adamantium i guess no
so i had i had two fuse grenades so maybe you one more. And I have a pellet grenade, but it's adamantine.
It is also a cold iron.
But I also have flash powder and black powder,
which maybe we can arrange in a certain way to make a bomb.
Yeah.
All right, so you use the one grenade that you have left over,
not the adamantine, but the fuse bomb.
You lay some black powder around.
Some flash powder.
Flash powder.
So I'm reducing my flash powder and black powder by one.
Okay. Just to keep us honest.
Okay, and then you, like, oil up the ballista bolt.
Should we put some alchemist fire on the ballista bolt?
No, we should put the alchemist fire with the grenade as well.
Like, pack them in.
Yep.
fire with the grenade as well like pack them in yep let's let's actually um so i'd like to kind of pour the oil in a strategic way to where it lines the entire length of it almost like you're
having a gunpowder trail um and i don't know i can use any type of check to make sure where it is but
okay that no that all works and then uh you going to Find out a way to light the bolt
Wrap it in an oil cloth or whatever
Yeah
I'll spark the oil cloth
Okay
Mid-flight
I can imagine this whole setup
Okay, so who is going to
Any two of you can help load it
And then who is going to fire it
Baron should fire it.
I'll fire it.
Can I have a bit of luck, maybe?
I will grant you a bit of luck.
Desna, give your servant this luck.
You sing better than all of the Catholic priests I grew up with.
Hosanna in the highest.
And you touch him in a different way, too.
Oh, we knew that was coming. You really set him up for that. Oh, him in a different way, too. Oh, we knew that was coming.
You really set him up for that.
Oh, I just saw Spotlight, too.
I gotta watch that.
Alright, grant fire when ready.
You have made fire when ready.
Building suspense.
You know what I liked about Spotlight? It was a touching story.
Oh, nailed it.
That is
an 18.
18.
Alright, roll 4d8 damage.
As the arrow is flying, I snap
and spark the oil
claw. You see the claw.
So that is 14 points of damage.
14 points of damage, including the damage with the grenades
Including everything else
Just boom
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah, Ryan was standing there cheering
Pieces of animal parts
And chips and boulders are like
Spraying all over the deck of the ship
And you did it, you completely opened up
Nice
Get some, motherfucker You know what, we all get chips, right? Yay all over the deck of the chip. And you did it. You completely opened up the passageway for the dam.
Get some, motherfucker!
You know what?
We all get chips, right?
Yay!
Damn it.
Well, no one called fire in the hole, so no.
Oh, that's a good point.
Great point.
50 more minutes, then, I mean.
By the way, it's not our fault that you bought, like,
a party-sized bag of chips.
You could have been done already if you bought, like,
a normal small bag.
They were a special
and I thought I'd share.
All right.
Beautiful.
So you will not lose any time
in the journey.
It is day four.
You know, after you guys
set up all this stuff,
it's now getting into
later in the day.
And Rag has assured you
that barring any more dams,
you will be around the area for this marker that you're looking for.
The circle of thorns.
The circle of thorns marking the way towards...
Ghostlight Marsh.
Ghostlight Marsh and the Mark of Thorns.
So he ties the draft horses to the boat,
and you guys start making your way up there.
Now, let's just look at the
breakdown of the crew. So
Halrex is pretty beat up,
but she, you know,
works her way down
to get the rowers
going. Gajnak, gone.
Tog, dead. So now
we just have six crew
members along with the four of you.
How's Shogg taking it?
We haven't told Shogg yet.
Oh, shit.
I mean, on air.
A whole week went by.
I'm the one who usually breaks the news, right?
Yeah.
I'm a man of the cloth.
I think it should be you.
Yeah.
Yeah, so you... You want some backup, Galabras?
Yeah, if you could evil eye him.
That'll make him feel better.
Telling him the news of his brother's death.
I sense your sarcasm.
I don't like it.
He's extremely sad.
We don't have to play that.
Yeah.
But Galabras handles it with great aplomb.
Desna's grace?
With Desna's grace, yes.
He handles it with Desna's grace, and Shogg is...
Nerdist!
Rag doesn't, obviously, he gives Shogg time to grieve.
He doesn't work for the day.
He's appointed another half-orc to take over the kitchen duties.
His name is Gorza.
He's the only one we haven't met yet.
The only one you haven't met, Gorza.
So you've got Urog, the fisherman.
You've got Tog, who's dead.
Shog, the brother, who's grieving.
You've got Krothu.
The dick.
Who is the dick.
You've got Barka, Crothu. The dick. Who is the dick. Uh, you've got Barka, the newest crew member.
Uh, you've got Ural, the old, older man who, uh, you only really encountered very quickly.
And, uh, now Gorza is going to be the new cook.
Um, I approach Rag at a certain point.
Um, and I ask, uh, I know we're short on crew. approach Rag at a certain point.
And I ask,
I know we're short on crew,
and I'm just
wondering if you need
any more help in the kitchens?
Well, granted,
Garshnok was
up to some
bad business,
but he did tell me that you almost burned the place down with this popcorn.
So I'll let you do your blessing and whatnot,
but I think it's best that maybe you, how do I put this?
The stables haven't been mucked in quite a while.
I think perhaps you can use your sorcery to clean up the poo.
Well, you're the captain, and that's your decision.
That's fine.
And I walk away. Thank you. I could listen to that whole time
Oh, so good
Classic
But
Rag does let Gorza know that you want to
Bless your food And he still allows that.
But, uh, it is starting to smell like shit.
I mean, it's not as big of a deal now that, you know, we've eliminated the traitor, but
right.
Right.
Um, as far as you know, as far as you know, uh, yeah, Malira is, he knocked her unconscious
with that hit.
Oof.
So she's, uh, still unconscious.
Yeah.
She's just kind of like leaning against the thing,
knocked out.
So,
so we think it is our opinion that she just charmed him enough into getting
food and shit like that.
Gosh,
no.
Yeah.
Like,
not like he is anywhere like a conspirator with any other orcs or anything
like that.
I think at the very least he made sure that the gareon's food
was not poisoned that day so that he was able to escape yeah at the very most that's he could have
helped with the the fishing uh area and some other sabotage but at the very least that's why i was
that's why i brought up his name right away because I don't feel like in our first Zone of Truth,
we got a great answer on how exactly the food wasn't treated that day. And I think that he definitely had everything to do with that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
So what's next?
Yeah.
So, Baron, you've been working on this fishing contraption for a while.
Yeah, so Baron, you've been working on this fishing contraption for a while.
I think maybe you would want to display it before dinner or after dinner.
Is it time to break this up? I'd love to, like, one last time walk up to Hal Rex and just offer her one more opportunity.
Just let her know how great her flute playing was during the battle
and how much it would mean to me
if she would play the flute at the unveiling of this.
Under the circumstances,
I'll play my flute for you.
Hey, there you go, Baron.
What a charmer.
She did just lose her lover, so maybe she's a little softened.
I wink at her and I say, I'll make it worth your while.
Don't press your luck.
So I kind of call everyone over and kind of, you know,
ever since the first night when we played games,
everyone knows I'm kind of a near-do-well-play-boy type,
and I'm just, like, hitting guys on the button, like,
come check this out, guys.
Yeah, come on.
So everyone comes down.
It's later in the day now, so Malira's awake watching this as well, and everybody's on deck.
I'd actually love for it to be magic hour, just totally beautiful, washed in this kind of amber-orange light.
We can wait for magic hour.
Yeah.
wait for magic hour yeah um and uh there's this giant tarp in front of where the fishing area was that was uh uh sabotaged i say ladies and gentlemen it is my distinguished pleasure and honor to unveil to you the
Shellish Devil Memorial
Fishing
Spot. And he rips the tarp down.
And it falls into the water.
And it catches his ankle
and he's down in the water.
And so
before you, you see that
Baron has refashioned
crossbows and nets and made a contraption that is basically like two ballistas that have nets attached to it.
And on the side of these crossbows are these cranks that would allow you, once these ballistas have shot the net as far as they can reach into the water, pull them back in and loop the net back to make fishing much safer, much easier.
You don't need to be as strong.
Anyone can help out.
And along the railing, in kind of the fashion of a Viking boat,
he's carved dwarven runes all along it.
And you see the story of the boat so
far. So you see
the guys getting on the boat,
you see
the battle we have with the
drakes, you see the battle we have with the
goryon, you actually
see Howrek's falling into the
water and getting out. So he's been...
Oh, you really crafted quite a scene there.
Yeah, he's been depicting, and there's still room on the end of it
to add to the story.
I see Lorg rolling poorly.
I see Lorg with his hands on his head, like, shaking in dismay.
It's a bunch of D20s resting on one.
It's like the Bayou Tapestry. This is great.
And he just says, this is my gift to all y'all for
letting us on board and i want to let you know that even though things haven't gone smoothly
i don't hold it uh against any of y'all and uh along with my pal lork over here
you guys have gone a long way. Changed my mind about half words.
Rag is beaming. He comes up and he puts his big hand on your shoulder
and he's like, this
is wonderful. Thank you. Thank you.
I know I've been tough
on all of you since you came
aboard this ship.
But I can't thank
you for helping us
in all our troubles we've faced
and for doing this.
This is above and beyond anything I expected.
Thank you.
Thank you.
And you see Urag is like all excited because now his job just got a lot easier.
He's like, let's feast.
Perfect.
Awesome.
Awesome. And Gorza comes out with the food
It doesn't look very good
Kind of a grayish slop
You know, the whole conversation with Gorza and Rag was like
Gorza used to cook, right?
And he was like
Alright, you're in the kitchen
Like a left fielder that used to pitch
Right, yeah
You cooked in middle League, right?
An eight mile per hour fastball and a sort of curveball.
It's a knuckler.
So yeah, the food comes out and it's really nothing spectacular.
Galabras blesses yours as usual.
Does not forgive me for burning one fucking batch of popcorn.
Made one
mistake. You need to ask our
captain for forgiveness, not Desna.
I'm being passive-aggressive.
Excuse me.
And you guys, it kind of turns
into a bit
of merriment. I think
kind of like a post-funeral party,
you know what I mean,
where everyone is so sad about...
Awake.
Awake, yes.
That's what you call those things.
Everyone is sad, obviously, about Tog.
Shog is not at the dinner.
He's grieving in his room.
But everyone is, like, drinking heavily,
and Howrex is pounded.
Fortified wine.
Everyone's kind of just drinking away their troubles.
And towards the end of the meal, Rag is like,
he looks like he's getting sick.
Oh, no!
What?
And he starts holding his back. Oh, no! What? And he starts, like, holding his back.
Oh, no.
And Alrix is like,
Rag, what's wrong with you?
Just have some more wine.
And he's like,
I don't know.
All those years fighting in the pits in Urgir,
my liver's taken some bad damage,
and then that javelin hit me in the back.
I think I'm just going to go lay down.
I'm not feeling very well.
Gromley comes up to him and says,
Rag, would you like me to
take a look at your wounds?
I mean, I wish I felt
a little better.
Why don't you come
check on me in ten minutes?
Alright. I just want to slip into something more comfortable. Why don't you come check on me in ten minutes? All right.
I just want to get myself to...
I'll slip into something more comfortable.
Damn it, Rag!
Why'd you have to go and get sick right now?
It'll be like a different potato sack for Gormley to slip into.
It's her hair wrapped around her.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, like a bayonet thing.
I like that.
Yeah, yeah.
Rag kind of stumbles off into his room.
And everybody else kind of just,
they drag themselves into a stupor
and eventually retire upstairs.
Gormley, you check in on Rag.
Yeah, and I take, on a hunch,
I grab one of the vials of antitoxin
we took from the orcs at the way station with me.
Okay.
So you go in there.
You knock on the door.
Halrix isn't there.
She's up drinking with the...
Waste.
With the other, with the crew.
And you knock on the door, I'm assuming, or do you just go right in?
I knock on the door. There's no crew. Um, and you knock on the door, I'm assuming, or do you just go right in? I knock on the door.
There's no answer.
Oh no.
Uh,
is it locked?
Uh,
do you check the traps?
No,
I knew you were going to say that too.
I almost was like,
I almost,
I almost preempted it.
And then I was like,
nah,
he just keeps the moment going.
Uh,
he,
uh, it is unlocked. I was like, nah, he just keeps the moment going. It is unlocked.
I open the door and go in.
Rag is heaped unconscious on the floor.
I rush to him.
Should I do a heal check, or should I just cure light wounds right away?
Whatever you'd like to do.
I'll do a heal check first just to see what's going on.
And fail.
Yeah.
Something he's like, uh, got foam coming out of the side.
Oh boy.
Uh, Oh, anti-venom, anti-venom.
I have, I have toxins.
I apply, I give, I force the anti-toxin down his throat.
Okay.
Um, he remains unconscious.
All right, I rush.
But he's not, you don't get the sense that he's dead.
I cast Stabilize just in case.
Okay.
And then I rush and get Calabras.
Okay.
And I rush and get Calabras and maybe make eyes at the others to come follow me into his cabin.
Okay.
You tell Hal Rex or any of the crew or anything?
Okay.
Just,
just my guys.
Okay.
So you guys come in and,
uh,
you see what,
uh,
I see him huddled on the floor and I rush over and I do a heel check of my
own.
I'll do one as well.
Lork will do one as well.
Shit.
11,
uh,
19.
I got it.
I got it. Two.
We rolled a two.
I got it.
Guys, guys.
A lot of confidence.
I got it.
I got it.
You can calm down.
I got it.
Lork, it's pretty clear he's ingested something that's sickened him and knocked him completely unconscious.
Okay. So, yeah, I'll tell these guys that. You're going to, him and knocked him completely unconscious. Okay.
So yeah, I'll tell these guys that... Are you going to pick him up and put
him on the bed? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I will. If I don't see any
bleeding or broken bones or anything, I'll
pick him up and put him on the bed.
Alright, so
set him down on the bed and I will let
Galabras and Gormley
know that it seems that he's ingested
some sort of poison, and
it's sickening him.
I gave him one of the anti-toxins.
It seemed to have stopped the foaming
at the mouth, but...
I'll use
one of the charges of the wands.
Curly wounds
on him. Okay.
Two points.
Enjoy.
Oh man.
Enjoy you unconscious half a book.
Um,
yeah,
he,
he,
he remains unconscious and like,
can I do a,
it's like dead weight.
It's,
can I do a knowledge nature to determine if I can maybe determine the poison or
the,
if the, what the symptoms I can maybe determine the poison or what the symptoms
are. Does anybody have detect poison?
We did this before. Crickets.
Baron did a craft alchemy.
I remember that one time we did it.
I can do that.
I can equate the alchemical.
I said I could do that.
Spider venom. Well, it's natural, right?
Like a survival check? You can do a survival. Survival. Let could do that. Spider venom. Well, it's natural, right? Like a survival check?
Yeah, I could do a survival.
Survival.
Let's do survival.
Okay, I can do that.
I can do it as well.
17.
17.
19.
You realize, along with, even though Galabras does not have survival,
that he has been poisoned by simian tranquilizer.
Oh. Oh.
It showed up again.
The goryon poison.
Yeah.
So do we need to go, like, accost this cook right now, this new cook?
What?
So Baron walks over to him.
Mutiny.
And I know he's unconscious, but he sticks his fingers down his throat.
Okay.
In an attempt to make him vomit. Okay. Pump his stomach. The old-fashioned way fingers down his throat. Okay. In an attempt to make him vomit.
Okay.
Pump his stomach.
The old-fashioned way.
Down his throat, and he starts just gagging,
and then, like, blood comes up.
Oh, shit.
Fuck.
And he, I'm assuming you pull the fingers out of his mouth,
and he remains unconscious.
Damn.
He wasn't lying about his liver, having a poor liver.
And the effects of this poison have been even worse for him
because of his liver damage.
Shit.
Previous liver damage.
Well, he had showed you the concoction, right, Galavris?
Yeah, yeah.
I'd like to take the key to his chest from his belt.
I'm looking for any type of potion or anything he has to help.
I'm not trying to steal from the guy.
Okay.
Um, and I just want to open it up and see if there's anything in there that could help
this.
Maybe he has liver pills or some traditional milk thistle helps promotes healthy liver
function.
Um, okay. Milk thistle helps promote healthy liver function. Okay, so you open it up,
and you see just a bunch of his personal effects,
and one thing in particular that stands out
is this large gladiator-looking belt.
Uh-huh.
I don't think
it'll help, but maybe it has a magical effect
that could help him or increase his constitution
for the time being.
That'd be crazy. He doesn't like magic.
No, but
it's probably from his past days.
Maybe it'll improve his constitution.
I might be going way off the deep end,
but can someone do a spellcraft?
Is there any
reason that Lork would think anything
other than the cook poisoned him?
Well, everyone else ate the same food he did.
Okay. Well,
that doesn't matter. He could have just poisoned his
serving.
But we hadn't met this guy.
Why hadn't we met this guy? What was he doing before?
He was just one of the guys.
He was around.
You just didn't have an interaction with him.
Okay.
Was it an accident?
Where is Melira?
Is she still tied to the mast?
Yes.
I mean, there's nothing to say she didn't have an effect on more than one crew member.
We didn't actually.
She could be charming people while her hands are tied up if it doesn't have a somatic input, right?
Yeah.
All right, I'll spellcraft the belt for Baron.
Both Galabras and Gormley detect magic on the belt.
I'll spellcraft her 21.
21.
Nailed it.
You detect faint enchantment magic.
It is known as a victor's belt.
This thick leather belt is adorned with several oversized iron plates and discs
depicting images of orc gladiators in battle.
The wearer of the belt gets a plus two morale bonus on combat maneuver checks
and combat maneuver defense, so CMB and CMD.
and to combat maneuver defense, so CMB and CMD.
In addition, the wearer of the belt can enter a rage as a standard action once per day.
Whoa, that's cool.
That's amazing. And if you're wearing the belt and you take damage in one shot
that's equal to at least half of your current hit points,
then there's a 50% chance that you rage automatically as an immediate action.
Provided you haven't already used the power for that.
Up to half of your hit points?
Yeah, if you take...
That could also be a massive damage situation.
Right.
And regardless of how the rage is activated, it lasts for five rounds.
Wow.
That's a cool thought.
Something he wore back in the gladiator pits.
Too bad he wasn't wearing it when he got grappled by the
mer... what was it?
Merrow. Merrow. Merrow. Merrow.
Merrow Street. I'm sure he hadn't busted it.
Alright, well, Lork would like
to... I mean, Lork is going to say
like, you know,
look after him. Make sure he
doesn't die. And then he's going to head
immediately to the kitchen
to try to find this guy.
As you head down, you hear sounds of vomiting
coming from upstairs.
Oh, my God.
And Halric meets you halfway.
He's like, all the men are up.
How does she talk?
All the men upstairs are throwing up all over the place.
What's going on?
Is your crew all right?
Is everyone else rag okay?
What's the guy's name again?
Gorza.
Gorza.
I said, it's Gorza.
He's done something to the food, whether it's on purpose or by accident, I don't know, but rag is sick.
The only way we didn't get sick ourselves is because Galabras blessed it with the divine hand of Desna.
We've got to brace him immediately.
Something tasted funny with that food.
Good thing I made my save.
Follow me.
I say, and I start charging down to the galley or wherever I think he might be, if he's in the sleeping quarters or whatever.
You go up there, and he's throwing up with everyone else.
Yeah, I had a feeling.
Oh, God. What a dope.
It's only you there now, right? Yeah.
Yeah. So it's
six half-orcs?
Or five at this point? Five? I can't remember.
All vomiting. So they all have food poisoning.
Essentially. But it could be
pretty bad. They're not... A couple of them
are unconscious. Urag is unconscious and
Ural the older man
the older half orc they're both unconscious
can I do heal checks
anybody that's unconscious to see if they're in
danger of imminent death
just do like a general heal check
general heal kind of going around the room
16
16 you don't get the sense
anyone is dying.
You just feel like
their strength
has been sapped
and they're second.
Okay.
All right.
Jeez,
I don't know what to do.
I mean,
we could give,
I mean,
we need some of the crew
able to keep us moving
if we want to
stay on,
you know.
Well,
we're docked right now,
right?
Right.
It's night,
so tomorrow will be day,
uh,
tomorrow will be day five.
Eight hours of rest?
Relieve their condition, or do we need to
um,
jeez.
When you guys did, who figured out that it was
simian tranquilizer?
Yeah, so what you know about that is like it has
an initial effect and a secondary effect.
And the secondary effect is like unconscious
and sickened for 24 hours.
Oh, shit.
But if you had too much of it,
it could kill you. But if they
lasted this long, it's probably not going to kill
them, right? You don't get the sense that
anyone is in danger
of dying. What about Rog?
Rog, you're a little more worried
about, but he's still breathing.
Restabilized and cure light wounds.
Yeah.
So he should be.
All right, so I'll tell Halrex.
And the anti-toxin.
I'll tell Halrex that the rest of our group is not sick and they are with Rag,
and he looks a little worse for the wear.
You know, does she want to check in on him?
Yeah, so Halrex comes in, checks on Rag.
Oh, this is bad.
This is bad.
All right, I just need someone or a couple of you
to keep vigil over him overnight.
In the meantime, I'm the captain now.
Look at me. Look at me. Look at me.
I'm the captain.
Okay, okay, okay.
Good follow-up, Matt.
I was doing it. I wanted that to happen At the same time
Okay
Okay
Okay
Alright Lork is gonna
He's gonna like
Try to
To help the guys out
You know with
Just sort of like
Any kind of skills
He might have with like
Field dressing and stuff like that
Just basically
Keeping them clean
You know
Give them a cold rag
Dip in rag and water
Put it on their head
And yeah clean and vomit out
Don't dip rag in water
He'll just get sicker.
I would like to participate in the visual,
but I really should get rest so I can
get my spells back. So maybe I'll
sleep in Rag's room.
Oh, man. The love scene that never happened.
Oh, yeah.
Baron would like to walk over to
Melira to talk to her about what she's done.
And he invites Galabras. Okay.
I come.
Alright.
She's just sitting there.
Her hair is all matted to her face
from that rainy night a couple days ago.
Or last night. Oh, she must stink.
She stinks. Did she eat? You can tell she's
soiled herself.
She didn't eat either.
No, she didn't eat.
I say to her, I didn't eat. Interesting.
I say to her,
I know what you've done.
I know you charmed Gashnok
and you did it to Gorza too.
We're gonna,
you gonna admit to doing that?
Eat shit, dwarf.
Simply put.
I look to Galabras and Intimate
to ask if he has any other questions for her
I do have a question
myself
how do you like having
Zone of Truth cast on you?
your magic holds no power
over me
your false guard holds no power
here on the sea,
do what you will.
Right then, well, that's out.
I want
to know what she'd look like with a new piece of
jewelry. Maybe a gag in her
mouth to keep her from talking to anyone
as they walk by.
Alright. And I want to make sure her hands
can't move.
Are there any other types of things that people need to cast spells that I could also hinder while we're doing this?
Blindfold her and gag her and, you know.
Take her shoes.
Take her shoes.
Stuff stuff in your ears.
I'm going to do.
Yeah, I mean, she can't move her arms or anything.
But if you gag her and blind her, that...
Yeah, I'm going to do both those things.
Okay. And so that way
I have
basic assurances
that she couldn't cast a spell
on anyone else, and that at least
in terms of troubleshooting what's
happening, would
lead that out of foul play in this happening.
Okay.
That it would have to be a crew member
that was personally responsible for doing it
unless she has a charm person that lasts for 10 days.
Okay. All right. Good, good.
Can we walk around?
Is there any type of spellcraft check
that Gormley or Galabras could do
to see if anyone is under the effects of a charm person?
I don't think so.
I mean, you really could just kind of...
I don't think you can detect
that kind of magic. You can. You can do will saves
to disbelieve. I mean, there's
no... I mean, there probably is some technical rule.
We don't know what it is, but... Yeah, I mean, you could say
will saves, sense motive,
knowledge arcana,
you know, with, like, DC
15, I think, plus... Or we could, this is really fucked up and getting close to an evil character,
but I like having the discussion.
We could get all the crew once they're done vomiting and whoever's unconscious
and cause some degree of pain to her somehow
and see if anyone moves to protect her.
Wouldn't that be part of the charm person that you'd want to protect the person?
Possibly, possibly.
It only lasts for so long, though.
How long does charm person last normally?
An hour per level.
It's an hour per level.
Okay, so it'd be gone.
But she could have cast charm monster,
in which case, depending on what level she is.
It'd be days.
It'd be days.
But what is the evidence we're going off of here?
I mean, I think she hasn't done anything.
Yeah, I don't think that we know at all that she's charmed anybody.
I think this guy made a simple mistake.
Yeah.
Because he's sick.
So, yeah, I mean, I don't know what else we can do besides keep everybody stable.
And is she sick?
They didn't feed her anything?
No.
And I'm assuming you're not going to feed her.
Well. She's gagged up. We'll give her some food. And I'm assuming you're not going to feed her. Well,
we'll give her some food.
Some hard tack? We've got to keep her alive.
Nautical term!
I mean,
can we just move through?
Yeah, absolutely.
So Gromley will sleep in Rag's room, but she is going to
get her eight hours of rest.
Lork is going to rest as well once he gets things under control with the-
What's the pajama situation?
Sleep in the nude?
Negligee?
Sleep in her hair.
Okay.
No, I'm going to sleep in my clothes.
Okay.
Just one minute.
Stop trying to leer it warmly.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I still want my chips.
All right.
alright so the next day comes and the crew members
are all kind of up and about
and sickened
for the most part
Hal Rex is
commanding the ship now
and she says
how's
Rag doing?
and Rag is still unconscious
you guys kept a visual on him, but he's breathing under
his own power. He's not spitting up any more blood. He's not foaming at the mouth, but he was
unconscious all night, and you let her know. And she's like, well, if you don't mind, just
please, please watch him. Please keep him alive, and hopefully whatever's in his system will run its course. In the meantime, we
move on as planned.
If everything goes
well, we'll be at your
deployment
spot tomorrow. Lork will offer
to Ro. Okay.
An extra shift.
She says,
Lork, I know I've been
horrible to you and your friends,
but right now we have to put egos aside and we have to work together.
I would like you to not only row, but take command of the galley.
Take command of the rowers.
Aye, I can do that.
Thank you.
We shove off in five minutes.
All right, so there's a couple sick rowers.
Can I...
They're all, like, sapped strength.
Yeah.
And it's really slow going.
All right, boys, I know this is going to be tough,
but we got to pull through for Rag.
He'll be all right soon, but we got to move fast.
Put all your gut into it.
And they, you see them, And you see them boosting their morale
because they do anything for their captain.
From time to time, some of them will kind of puke on their shoes.
But they're doing the best they can.
You guys are making great time.
Is there any business you guys need to take care of today on day five?
I don't think so, for my
part. When I
can get breaks,
or even maybe while I'm rowing, I'll be
doing command words to Ben Vereen,
practicing, practicing, practicing,
practicing.
Row, Ben.
This is rowing. Row.
Get back
over here.
Stay out of those potatoes.
Gormley will just hang out in Rag's room.
All right, and then later that night, the day passes, uneventful,
and then later that night, as you're anchored, Rag comes to.
Oh, okay.
And he sees you there.
rag comes to oh okay and uh he sees you there and i oh sorry in the meanwhile i am blessing all the food unless anyone fucking objects after being poisoned how rex uh doesn't uh
object she doesn't know anything about the yeah now that they've seen us be fine yeah you can
just do it now and no one will be the wiser. Are you also making the food?
Hey, man.
Your new captain.
No one's stopping you. A new acting captain.
Hey, man.
Yeah, but what does the captain say?
If you go up to Halbriggs and ask, she's totally fine with it.
She's like, we all need to help out any way we can.
If you want to cook, cook.
Great.
I may burn the popcorn, but I won't poison the crew.
Yeah, so you go in there and you help Gorza cook,
and he's happy to have the help.
So Rag comes too?
Rag comes too.
What happened?
Why am I laying down?
What time is it?
What day is it?
It's just a day later.
You and the crew are all, we think, accidentally poisoned.
Accidentally poisoned? What?
Gorza seems to have applied the simian serum to everyone's food.
We were safe because Galabras blessed our food.
Gorza put simian tranquilizer, the stuff we were given, to Pekara?
It seems to be an accident. He did it to himself as well.
He could have killed all of us? It seems to be an accident. He did it to himself as well. He could have killed all of us.
It seems like a strange accident.
So much tomfoolery going on in this boat.
I don't know what to believe.
He starts to get up.
He, like, winces in pain and lays back down.
Easy, easy.
Your liver, as you said, your liver is not in great shape.
What?
Are we, oh, do we, do we make,
do we make any progress today?
Did, did Halrax take over in my stead?
Halrax took over.
You just rest.
Sorry, sometimes I have to know my limits.
I just need to sleep.
And he passes out and goes back to sleep.
Gromit says, figures.
Classic man.
Typical man.
Yeah, and then if there's nothing else you guys want to do that night
day six all right happens uh and rag is still pretty sick um but he's up moving around a little
bit he'll walk you'll see him kind of walking holding the railing of the of the ship and then
you know he'll go back sit down in his chambers, lay down.
He's trying to be a little more mobile.
Meanwhile, Halrix has really settled into the role of...
Are we rowing right now, or are we having the horses pull us up the river?
The horses are pulling you up the river, but you still have to row to guide it.
But yeah, the draft horses are pulling you up.
So that's kind of whole production.
Every morning, you've got to tie up the horses,
ba-ba-ba, bring them up.
And, yeah, so day six.
You guys cleared the dam with explosions,
so you didn't lose any time,
and you think that today is the day that you will depart the boat into Ghostlight
Marsh to find this
Vault of Thought. Oh, shit. And are we going to be
left? Like, was
the deal Rag drops us off and
good luck? No, he drops
you off and waits. Oh, okay.
Because then he's taking you the rest of the journey
up to Red Lake Fort. So Red Lake Fork.
Fort. Fort. Fort. Red Lake
Fortica. Fortica. Yeah, so, I mean, here's the thing up to red lake fort fort fort fort fort fort fort fort fort fort fort fort fort fort fort
yeah so i mean here's the thing though and who knows how long he'll wait like uh like if you
guys never come back or die out in there you'll have to at a certain point or what what in the
world could waylay him at this point the amount of times we've been attacked up here how long will
he be safe just sitting in the water like that?
Right.
I'm also concerned about that.
A lot of factors.
Well, when we leave, Dormoy would like to say a certain goodbye.
Just in case you never return.
Yeah.
Or just to ensure that he'll stick around.
That's fair.
That's fair.
You guys shove off.
Hal Rex is still on the pilot deck captaining the boat.
And Lork, you're still in charge of the rowers
Galabras you're back in the kitchen
finally able to
make all your masterpieces
I feel incredible
I am loving this
I'm back in my element I am so happy right now
Baron
Souffles for everyone
Baron you're I'm assuming you're probably teaching Urog happy right now. Soufflés for everyone.
Baron,
I'm assuming you're probably teaching Uruk the ins and outs of the
Siofishing here. I've also
gotten to a point where I finished crafting
something. Oh.
So this is day six. You finished
craft. What did you craft?
I crafted, at the expense
of almost all of my gold,
a Masterwork double-barreled pistol.
What?
What?
What?
Are you serious?
Yes.
Wow.
So you have a double-barreled pistol.
How does this work?
So it has two triggers, and the barrels kind of line up to each other vertically as opposed to horizontally like a shotgun.
And I can fire them individually just like a normal pistol.
like a shotgun and I can fire them individually at just like a normal pistol.
Um,
or I can fire them both at the same target at a minus four penalty per
shot.
Oh,
all right.
And,
uh,
you are the best for,
for the time being.
Uh,
I think I'm going to keep my second barrel loaded up with a flare cartridge
in the event I want to do some damage control or something.
Whereas in the past, if I wanted to shoot a flare cartridge
at a group of weak enemies,
I would have had to shoot what was in my gun, reload,
and then wait for the next round.
Oh, that's pretty cool.
And it's ready.
Because it's masterwork, the reason I spent the extra gold
is because we're ready
to enchant this sucker
in the future
one day
my characters are scared
I also have one other thing crafted
but it's a gift
so we'll get to that when it makes sense
to give it
don't forget to craft
if that's something
you're interested in.
ABC, always be crafting.
Always be crafting.
See you guys.
Always be, be.
Gordon Galabris,
right here.
Or Glengarry Glen,
which one's Glengarry?
Glengarry.
Galabris.
Yeah, whatever.
I'd like to put in
a request
to the DM.
I am at
six days of like the week or whatever of training benverine to do
one fucking trick and i passed already to get it done and did whatever and i just want to know
if we can just stop rolling fucking pushing every time for benverine six days of training
well you know what he's a woline. I was thinking about this.
You actually found Ben Vereen on day zero.
Oh, that's true.
So Ben Vereen knows attack.
All right.
No more pushing.
There we go.
Can he learn?
Are there other tricks that he can eventually learn?
Oh, I'm going to start tomorrow.
Are you kidding me?
For the next one. He can set up defensive parameters around us while we sleep.
I could be like, defend Galabras, and then go in,
and anybody that goes after Galabras will automatically attack.
It's super cool fun.
He can learn typesetting.
He's going to go into graphic design, I think.
Voice lessons, I think we should probably.
You have his sample.
You have his reel.
Yeah.
So now you guys are being dragged upstream by these horses,
and you're still like, the ropes for the horses are pretty long,
so you're still far, you know, a good distance from the shore,
just the way it works.
And the rowers, you're just kind of not fighting against it,
but you're fighting with it to move upstream.
And it's thick, and it's especially thick
because now you are in the depths of Ghostlight Marsh.
And there's just sort of this,
there's a thick fog over the area.
You can see, it's not like obscuring mist or anything,
but it's very damp.
The air is very wet and balmy.
And as you're moving through the marsh,
every so often you just feel like you see things,
uh, off in the woods somewhere, little, uh, motes of light or something moving very quickly. And you,
you wonder, maybe your eyes are just playing tricks on you and just all the, the, the stories that Silvermane told you that, uh, maybe influencing what, what you think you see,
but it's just eerie. Whereas before, you know, it was a nice riverboat journey,
fraught with river drakes and drugged gorillas.
A lovely, relaxing trip.
Right.
But now it's, like, very eerie.
And at a certain point, a couple hours in,
Gormley, on the crow's nest, spots on the riverbank
a stone
carved with a circle
of thorns.
Nice! Who's piloting
the ship right now? Halrex?
I shout down to Halrex to
give her the halt signal.
Okay, and she yells down
to you, Lork. Lork!
Come! Stop the rowing, stop the rowing!
Halt, boys!
We're done for now.
And yeah, you see it.
It's right there.
And you tell them to halt, Lork,
and the boat just kind of slowly begins to settle.
And then all of a sudden it like locks into place.
Oh.
And you know that no one dropped anchor.
And all of a sudden the boat just locks into place.
Everybody roll a perception check.
29. 29.
I can't beat that.
29.
13.
Yeah, 14.
Rolled a 19.
23 for a lork.
I was excited for it.
Wow.
I'm second.
You notice.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
You notice something.
What the fuck was that?
Who notices? Everyone?
Galabras, Gormley, and Lork notice.
They have the lowest perception checks.
Maybe half a dozen orcs hiding in the underbrush along the riverbank.
What?
Coming towards the boat.
What?
What?
along the riverbank.
What?
Coming towards the boat.
What?
Behind Baron,
you hear someone climbing onto deck.
Oh, shit. What the fuck?
Assassins.
I bet they have purple blue swords
like that time we were asleep.
Like that time we were asleep.
Like that time.
You see a giant orc,
not a giant, like giant giant,
but like a much larger orc
climb right behind you, Baron, on the deck, brandishing this gold sword.
And he's got half of his face is just singed with fire scars.
Oh, my God.
It's the hound.
And six orcs are coming up to the boat and ready to climb on over deck.
Oh, my God.
You can roll for initiative next time.
Oh, God damn it!
No!
I want to fight right now!
No! I thought the orcs let him go unmolested.
Good point.
Good point to bring up next episode.