The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 50 - Flies, You Fools!
Episode Date: May 10, 2016As we celebrate our 50th episode, Barron's fate is up in the air. The heroes battle an oversized dragonfly a hundred feet above a maggoty midden heap! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glassca...nnonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This week on the 50th episode of the Glass Cannon Podcast.
Mind you, Baron has already taken 31 points of damage.
Baron falls.
And now he's going to take 5d6 falling damage and then another d6.
In a desperate attempt to save his life, Gormley will fly.
So Gormley's going to take off flying. and she's going to fly directly at the dragonfly.
Oh, baby!
That's awesome.
Galabras will jump.
Galabras, there's another moment.
Grabs on, and he's just holding on to the lily pad for dear life.
Ben Vereen will risk everything.
Here we go.
Oh, do it in front?
Ben Vereen, life and death.
And Lork will fight the gods.
I want a, like, never-ending story of this shit and have Lork attack Troy.
But Will.
Oh, my God.
This is insane.
They.
No!
Survive.
Natural 20.
Holy shit.
Episode 50
drops. Do you remember when this episode started
off with a celebration? Right now. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to episode 50.
And we have an extravaganza of an intro prepared for you today.
We're going to spend the next five minutes talking about my greatest passion, Warhammer.
No, no, we're not.
That sounds horrible. Yeah, no, we're not. That sounds horrible.
Yeah, no, sir.
No one wants to hear that.
You guys don't want to hear how I clip out little plastic pieces and file them?
No, I'm embarrassed for you.
And then I prime it with little...
I'm embarrassed for this intro.
Oh, boy.
Hey, we're all here on the intro.
We've never done this.
Hey, family intro.
Yeah.
What is this, a special episode or something?
It sure is, Troy.
Episode 50.
Who'd have thunk a year ago that we'd be still here and still friends and still doing a fake
adventure?
Yeah, this is nice.
I like that we're doing this.
We never do this.
We've got to mix it up.
It's episode 50, and we're going to do something special for this intro.
We want to give back to you, the fans.
You know, it's about the fans.
It really is.
It's not about us.
It's certainly not about Matthew.
Jesus.
You know, I was just thinking, how does that even...
Am I friends with these people?
Wow.
So unnecessary.
We have decided to do a t-shirt giveaway.
Yeah.
Joe is working on a design for a cool GCP t-shirt that we're going to give to you.
But we're not just giving it away for free.
No, no, no.
You're going to have to work for it.
We're going to ask five trivia questions.
Deep, deep trivia on the Glass Cannon podcast.
Anything that happened from episodes one through 49.
And if you can answer all five of them, you will be in contention for winning these T-shirts, right?
Yeah, it's a bit of a race.
So I think we're going to have three.
So three winners.
Three winners.
So the first three that get incorrect answers to the five questions will get free t-shirts in the mail.
That's pretty good.
It has to be correct answers, not incorrect answers.
Yes, you said get incorrect answers.
Oh, to submit correct answers.
Is that okay for you?
There we go.
That's a better go.
There we go.
Using a verb always helps, I find, in talking.
You're such a wordsmith.
All right, so I'll start.
Do you mind if I start?
First question. How many ones has such a wordsmith. All right, so I'll start. Do you mind if I start? First question.
How many ones has Joe rolled?
Oh.
The correct answer,
countless.
Isn't that that illegal?
How many stars are in the galaxy?
No, I would never subject someone
to the torture of having to relisten
to every episode
and find that enormous number.
No, here's the first real question.
Okay, in the fictitious Yelp review
of The Ramble House, what room was first real question. Okay, in the fictitious Yelp review of the Ramble House,
what room was trapped?
That's a good one.
Interesting.
Grant's looking at me like,
I don't think I even know that one.
Skip, what do you got?
Can you name all of the summoned creatures
that Gormley and Galabras have summoned?
They're Christian names, so to speak.
Do we also want their, what type of animal they are?
Yes, please.
Bonus points.
Bonus points.
Their names are kind of blank the blank.
So that is the name, really.
Grant, what do you got?
My question is short and simple.
What was Baron's first one-liner?
There's been so many terrible ones.
Where did it all begin?
What was the first terrible one?
What was the first good one?
It's a matter of opinion.
What was his first one-liner?
That's a good one.
I like that.
Matthew, what do you have?
So as you know, Troy, you have a weighted die that only rolls 20s.
That is yet to be tested.
So the question is, what color is that die?
Ooh, I'll give you a hint.
It sounds like this.
Did I say too much?
And last and least is Joe.
God damn it.
What type of creature killed Brend the Friend?
Ah, yes, Brend the Friend. We brought up this. We told the story killed Brend the friend ah yes
we told the story of Brend the friend
what type of creature killed him
feel free to talk
to the ghost of Brend the friend
I can't believe that Brend is canon
yeah so if you
know the answers to those questions
the first three people to get all of them correct,
just submit us an email at glasscannonpodcasts at gmail.com,
and if you win, you'll get a pretty sweet T-shirt.
Because we can't sell them to you, which is what we really want to do.
But enough bullshitting, guys.
It's been a great 50.
Let's do 50 more.
Let's do it.
Here it is.
Episode 50 flies, you fools.
Let's do it.
Here it is.
Episode 50 flies, you fools.
Can you believe that it is episode 50?
50!
Episode 50 of the GCP!
We did it.
Yay, what a cut. And it's going to be our last episode.
It was a good run.
We had a hell of a run.
Nice even way.
Nice even number
to end at
almost went to a year
but I think we should just
call it quits here
I'll at least
one of us
will be calling it quits
because Barrett
is careening
to the ground
at light speed
looks so mad
well look
at least he can't
see what's happening
that's gotta be
some comfort
it's just like Space Mountain
exactly
that is terrible just falling in the blackness
now Skid I noticed you brought champagne
was this to celebrate episode 50 or to celebrate
Baron's death
cause that's just me
a little from Calamay
yeah I got some for our 50th
episode I got some it's actually Spanish sparkling wine.
If we were on terrestrial radio, say, I would have gotten both Clicquot.
Yeah, so.
But since this is a second-rate show, I'm second-rate champagne.
Thanks anyway, Chip.
It's an HRPG podcast.
The show is being held together with twigs and Elmer's.
Because that FM radio money is just so hot right now.
Um,
okay.
So here,
uh,
just a thought.
I'd open it on,
on,
on Mike.
If you're home alone,
have a drink with us.
We should do this every episode.
Wait,
why don't we always have champagne?
New tradition.
I'm making a new house rule.
Champagne every app.
I can't see what you're saying.
I'm saying pour it right by the mic.
People can hear the bubbles.
That's a good sign.
Let's see if this works.
That's also a giant glass of champagne.
That's a gentleman's pour, huh?
I think that's Baron's glass.
It's got a heavy hand.
We don't have any more.
Oh, boy.
My Cougar Town-inspired champagne glass.
That was a long episode last time, 49.
That was a good one.
Yeah.
Yes.
You met Iwiga, who was so distracted by the entanglement,
even though she didn't get entangled,
did not act until round two.
I noticed you were not as upset about Awida
not acting as you were about not poisoning
those orc blades a while back.
You were so angry about it.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, she did come in, and she did shoot some lightning.
But more importantly, this giant dragonfly swooped in,
bit Baron,
and that is the smallest amount of champagne.
That's for you.
That's what you can enjoy.
You got to keep your wits about you.
That is ridiculous.
I have another bottle.
Another bottle.
So this fucking thing comes in,
grabs Baron,
tries to lift him off the lily pad,
fails.
Second attempt, grabs him, tries to lift him off the lily pad, fails. Second attempt, grabs him,
lifts him off, and now
is going to straight up
drop him. But before he does,
let's make a toast.
I would like to point out that the cutest thing in the world has happened is that we all
tipped a little into Troy's glass.
Yeah, that was actually kind of
symbolic. Alright guys, cheers
to a great, great friends
and great role playing.
Cheers, guys.
And cheers to all the listeners, too.
Everyone who's been out there for 50 episodes.
We're raising a glass to you.
This one's for Omas Frum.
Oh, yeah.
Boy, Omas.
I hope he's still on the wagon.
Pour one out for Screed.
Oh, man.
Not on my rug.
Pour one out for Jasun.
I was so scared I was actually pouring onto your rug at that point. I was, man. Not on my rug. Pour one out for your son. I was so scared I was actually pouring onto your rug at that point.
I was, oh.
Now, as we went off the air last week,
Skid pointed out something very important to me
that could save Baron's life.
When Ben Vereen jumped on the lily pad with Baron,
it descended 20 feet.
This is now a new round so it would have descended another 20 feet so you are so it descends every round every round that a certain amount of weight
is on there it descends x amount of feet oh i thought it was just going to hover there so yeah
no oh well let me ask you this question yes when the when the lily pad descended uh-huh with the dragonfly's targets on
it would he now have to spend a move action to get down to them and can he do this full thing
he's trying to do baron yes he has uh a crazy feat that allows him to do it and he has perfect
flight and a ton of movement speed on it i tried buddy that would be totally anticlimactic if i was
like uh oh you're right he didn't do that uh But no, he actually, by the rules, can do that.
So what does that mean?
That means that knowing what Lork knows,
Baron is falling from 60 feet.
Now, I will tell you this.
That compost, that shit, man, that shit means good, by the way.
Soft, soft.
Yeah, it's totally soft.
Joe said that.
Yes, it is soft.
So what does that mean?
It's a yielding surface.
Unfortunately, all that means is the first D6 of damage is non-lethal.
The other five D6 are lethal.
Oh, so it still counts, that first D6 as non-lethal.
Yes, and if you go under from the five D6, the non-lethal becomes lethal.
Oh.
You dig it?
Yep.
Sounds like you read these rules before this uh episode started you
know i'm glad i did before i started drinking the champagne otherwise it'd be like 10 d6
all right pretty good it's going right to my head oh my goodness the bubbles
we're so bad we should just gab we should just gab the whole pod. All right. I'm going to roll.
I've got this metal die that Joe gave me for being one of his maids of honor.
And I'm going to save that for the non-lethal, possibly lethal damage.
Mind you, Baron has already taken 31 points of damage,
and now he's going to take five D6 falling damage, and then another D6.
Four fours and a six wow so 10 18 22 points of damage does that bring you under zero no it doesn't all right wow that's amazing then you
take two points of non-lethal and you just hit the ground. Hit to be a dwarf.
So what does that
point you at?
Seven hit points
with two non-lethal.
Ooh!
Wow!
Baby!
Wow!
Now imagine
if Galabras,
if Skid had not
pointed out
that it had gone
down 60 feet.
Or if Ben Vereen
never stepped
on that thing,
it would be a 100-foot drop,
which would have been possibly a kill shot.
Right.
So, Baron, you owe your life yet again to Ben Vereen.
Well, does the thing rise now?
It will at the end of this round begin rising back up.
Wow.
X amount of feet.
I just want to know what happens,
what flight level is the dragonfly at now
the dragonfly is uh at the level that you 60 you know 60 feet above the floor okay um
go labrous oh it's my turn yeah oh holy shit you are at the end of the platform you stepped
you succeeded when that thing tried to entangle you.
So last round, you got out of it, and you used your other action to move the hammer closer to strike the spiritual hammer to strike the giant dragonfly.
Right.
Okay, I'm going to strike at the dragonfly again with the spiritual hammer.
Okay.
Natural 20.
Whoa!
Nice. Oh, shit. Natural 20. Whoa! Nice.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, shit.
That's just...
To confirm.
And this is all through DR.
Ah, number two.
Ah!
Buddy, you got the max damage.
Max damage.
Which is...
Which is...
Eight, I believe, right?
Nine.
Nine.
Oh, because you get one D8 plus one.
All right, so, yeah,
and as we realized last time,
this thing has some sort of DR,
but that magic
bypasses all of it a crushing blow by a blue glowing smashing into its hammer eyeball big
compound eyeball just i'm gonna celebrate that by having a little sip of champagne
uh collaborates what else you want to do that was one what is that standard action to direct
out of the move action uh no that that i think no it's no action yeah it continues
as long as in fact i looked it up i looked it up and you could argue that it is not any action
to move and attack it as long as it's the same target in the wording of the spell it says
to change targets you have to spend your move action so if this thing flies away i think it
might be able to keep chasing it and attacking it as long as it's the same target. And I'm going to shoot at it
with my crossbow.
Okay.
Miss.
And just
misses with the crossbow.
Lodges into the underside of a
lily pad. Iwiga steps up
to where Galabras was and
attempts to shoot lightning at it again
and hits again for four points of damage.
You just see a wiggo.
And a fire lights up in her eyes
like it's been a while since she's used
such wondrous druidic magic.
Okay.
Round four, Gormley, you can see.
Your sight comes back.
Should I roll a fortitude save?
Everyone should.
Let's all roll a fortitude save.
Wigga included.
Oh, man, this thing only rolls 15s.
I might have saved.
Holy crap.
Save.
Save.
16?
16 saves.
Mark, Benverine?
I didn't even check.
Benverine.
Benverine.
He makes it, too.
Benverine.
Everybody made it
Yep
Hey let's have some champagne
To celebrate
Everybody making a fortitude save
That's good
I'm out
Alright
Oh my god
This is gonna get wacky
You just drank a pint
Of champagne
I am a drunkard
Alright
Round four
You see Baron
Got dropped To the thing again.
You assume he's dead.
Lork, you're up.
Okay, Lork is going to do deadly aim
in an attempt to increase his damage.
And that's basically power attack for ranged weapons.
And you've got Cat's Grace.
And I've got Cat's Grace.
Are you going to deadly aim rapid shot?
That'd be cool.
I got it. The rapid shot, it just doesn't matter as much so i'm lowering my two hit yeah but you get two chances to roll 20 yeah it's a better mathematical move especially
where you know it has dr all right well watch yeah but i'm rolling here don't forget all right
i will uh very true i'll turn on the old rapid shot.
Here we go.
Two shots at this thing.
First shot.
23.
Yeah.
That is a hit.
Nicely done.
Got to roll some good damage, though.
Come on, damage.
Break through.
10 damage.
All right.
Some of that breaks through.
Next shot.
Miss.
All right.
The lily pad rises back up.
Ben Marine going to make a jump, or are you going to try and push him to stay?
Well, it goes all the way up, or does it go 20 feet around?
Well, 200 pounds almost just jumped off of it.
He should be able to get an attack on the firefly.
Yeah, 200 pounds jumped off.
Yeah, so it goes up 20 feet.
And, yeah, Ben Vereen could get an attack as it's going up.
Or you can push him to stay.
It's up to you.
I'll just have him wait.
And if it's going to rise all the way up, he'll continue to try to jump over.
All right.
So you're going to try to tell him to stay then, right?
No, he's going to continue.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You're right.
You're right.
Yeah.
Because I don't want him to keep making those jumps.
So I'm like.
So you're safe there.
If you fail to stay, will it attempt to make the jump? Actually, you know what? I'm right, yeah. Because I don't want him to keep making those jumps. So I'm like... So you're safe there.
If you fail the stay, will it attempt to make the jump?
Actually, you know what?
I'm just, no, I'm going to tell it to come.
I'm just going to tell him to come.
Come to you.
Yeah, at this point, he's in the middle of this combat.
I think that it's silly to just leave him out there.
So come to you means he has to do an acrobatics check. Yeah, so he's going to do an acrobatics check.
Okay.
Makes it 26.
26?
Okay, I was going to make it a little harder because he's jumping up, upwards.
You know, it's not DC 10 anymore, but 26, you definitely made it.
Wait, I don't understand.
Why?
It only went 20 feet up.
So he wouldn't naturally try to jump then, would he?
Yeah, no, no, I'm sorry.
I didn't understand.
So he's going to hold around then.
He's going to hold around.
Yeah, I thought he was up level again.
But he could attack, though, right?
He can't jump 25 feet out in the air.
But in the meantime, he could attack, right?
These things are all different levels.
So if that's what Benverine wants to do,
he will say that that other thing is at a level that he was able to do that.
Okay.
Okay?
Yeah, and with a 26.
So Benverine is now all alone on a lily pad,
and that lily pad does not sink because he is so light,
so fluffy.
Gorms, the newly sighted Gorms, covered in glitter dust.
Covered in glitter dust, it's very alluring.
Look like you're ready to go to the club.
So where in the, where in, at altitude,
where do we say the dragonfly is now?
60 feet down, middle of the room.
All right.
40 feet down.
Excuse me, 40 feet down.
Great. 60 feet from the floor.
Sorry, I've been drinking.
So then Gormley, her hands are going to,
electricity is going to start to course through her hands,
and she's going to shoot a lightning bolt
straight out of her hand into the Dragonfly.
Oh, you son of a gun.
Oh, my goodness.
That is awesome.
Wow.
But it's a reflex save, right? 60 points of damage, and you get a reflex save. All right, reflex save. DC 16. Wow. But it's a reflex save, right?
60 points of damage and you get a reflex save.
All right, reflex save.
DC 16.
15.
Fail.
Nice.
Roll a perception check.
16.
Don't feel like it did all the damage that you thought it should do.
It's got some sort of electrical resistance.
No, no, it's electricity resistance, probably.
Yeah, but wasn't she,
wasn't the druid hitting it with lightning bolts
for like four and three points of damage?
Right, but I'm only telling you now
that it wasn't doing that.
I wouldn't have been able to see.
All right, how much damage did you roll?
I rolled 16 points of damage.
Oh, nice.
So does that spell allow spell resistance?
It says resistance, yes.
Yes.
Well, don't worry about it.
All right.
So Gormley throws it out there,
and it's like, ah, that didn't do the damage
that you thought it was going to do,
but it definitely hit it.
Definitely took some hit points away.
Baron, you are laying in shit.
I'm actually supine?
You are.
Yes, you are prone.
So... Unless a dwarf like a cat
Always lands on its feet
I get up
And I
Move action
Wipe the shit
Off of my
Body
And I look around
And I see nothing
Because I'm blind
Right
And I kind of
Walk over
Until I can touch a wall
That will guide me
Can I do a double move Just to try to touch the wall?
So you can walk pretty much all.
He can move 10 feet.
10 feet?
He stood up as a move action.
And then he can move 10 feet.
I can do an acrobatics check to see if I can move 20.
Yep.
Sure, he might fall again.
Was it DC 10?
Yeah, I believe so.
22. 22.
Okay, so you move 20 feet towards the back of the room.
I would say that I would walk diagonally
because I'm looking for a wall.
You have no idea which way you're walking.
So you move five feet over and you feel the wall
and then you start following the wall along
and you move another 15 feet up.
Fair enough.
It is now its turn.
Who's next to drop?
Oh, shit.
What are we gonna do here?
Yeah, bring it.
Bring it.
It swoops at Ben Vereen.
Oh, come on.
That's just silly.
It is directly closest to Ben Vereen.
Comes in with a bite on Ben Vereen.
22 to hit.
Ben Vereen.
Yeah, that's a hit.
Actually, I'm going to do my boon thing, my trick,
to increase his AC by four.
It's still going to hit, though.
Still hits.
Wait, you said 22?
Yes.
Yep, that still hits. And because he's got a minus
two because he's blinded? Wait, he's not
blind, is he? No. He was blinded
back at the bridge. Okay. So what's his
minus two for his AC? Or he doesn't have one? He doesn't have one.
Okay, so it still hits,
but because you used that, it's only half
damage? Yes.
Oh, boy. Well, it's a good thing you used that
because the full damage
was
25 points of damage.
Wait, the same attack that was doing
like 15 points,
16 points of damage? Yeah.
I rolled very, very high.
So you're going to take 12 points
of damage and it's going to attempt to grapple
Benvarine for free.
Ben Vereen is done.
For free, meaning you don't provoke 30.
Yeah.
Ben Vereen can roll a check to try and break out because it's going to drop Ben Vereen.
So it's only a natural 20 would do it.
Definitely?
Yeah, you said it was 23, right?
Yeah, but you get a plus 4. Oh, plus 4. Okay, so then I could do a 19 or... And he, you said it was 23, right? Yeah, but you get a plus 4.
Oh, plus 4. Okay, so then I could do a 19 or...
And he's got a CMB bonus, right?
Plus 1. So plus 5 to this roll.
And you've got to beat 23.
Okay, so 18 to 20.
Here we go.
Oh, do it in front? Ben Green, life and death.
Oh my god.
17. One off,
guys. One off guys One off
Rolled a 22
And all you needed was a 23
22
I'll roll
The damage
Benverine falls to his death
Ladies and gentlemen
Benverine has died
That fucking sucks
No
Lord
You just need to sees this thing come down
Picks up Benverine
And Benverine just
Baron you just hear
Next to you
I mean I only rolled half the damage
And it was over 20 something
So it was going to be like 40 plus damage
That definitely kills him
Episode 50
Man he had a good run our first
party character killed the true now five it's not the true now four no we were the true now six and
now we're the true now five because of how we turn out four and a half and then the true now
ben ray's dead god damn it just to be clear for our listeners again this is the wolverine not
right right if you're just tuning in somehow you just scrubbed forward to this part of the podcast.
R.I.P. Benverine.
That is the second one.
Oh, shit.
Oh, man.
Galabras, you're up.
Round four.
Gotta keep it moving, folks.
I'm sorry.
There's no time to mourn an animal.
It was more than an animal
He was a friend
He was
He was a good friend
I don't
I don't accurately
I taught him a tag
Understand
I don't accurately know
How to
Deal with this creep
Full of piss
Alright I'm gonna
Shoot
Well for the hammer
This is the last round
Of the hammer
Miss
The hammer misses
And then
And I'm gonna Fire No X of the hammer. Miss. The hammer misses, and then disappears.
And I'm going to
fire,
no,
X,
yeah,
I'm going to cast
a true strike on myself.
Okay.
Galabras cast
true strike,
true strike,
true,
ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
Galabras cast,
Galabras cast
true strike on himself.
That'll give him
plus 20 to hit
in his next round.
Iwiga. Does anyone yell
out to Iwiga?
Yes, actually. Lightning
isn't very effective. Okay.
Yes, I do yell. Iwiga
wild shapes
into a wolverine
and dies.
Wild shapes into an eagle and flies out to the giant dragonfly.
That's pretty awesome.
Joe, you've been a druid before.
Is wild shape a standard action?
Okay, so you see just she's using all of her energies like she hasn't done this in so long.
And you see this elf just transform.
The beak comes out.
The feathers grow.
She comes out into the middle of the room here toe-to-toe
with the giant dragonfly.
For the listening audience, by the way, Troy,
during his transformation mime,
looked like he had popping and locking experience.
It was pretty impressive.
It's true.
I wish we had a video camera because it was pretty sweet.
Round five.
Lork or Benverine can go.
Oh, my God.
Oh, God, man.
You have like an offensive comment around quota?
Is that too soon?
Wait until episode 51 at least.
God.
I want to like never-ending story of this shit and have Lork attack Troy.
Have a fucking arrow come out of the game board.
Deadly eight.
What's your AC?
Your t-shirt.
A true!
Everybody roll a fortitude save.
Oh my god, let me just rip up this character sheet real quick.
Dude, Uiga is crushing.
God.
It's good because she's going to be doing hand-to-hand combat.
Claw-to-claw. Fail. 15. That's good, because she's going to be doing hand-to-hand combat. Claw-to-claw.
Fail.
15.
18.
18.
So Baron failed.
You guys are good.
I actually made it.
Gorms is good.
All right, so Baron.
Do I have to do it at the bottom?
Blinded on the ground.
Because all the flies are up top.
Yeah, that's true.
You're okay, Baron.
So you're all fine.
It's not like Baron is going to be doing a whole lot.
Lork, this is the first moment you have to take in what just happened.
You saw this thing come down.
Lift him off the lily pad and just drop him 100 feet to the floor.
Well, I think for the moment, Lork is going to pray to Gorim
that the softness down there was soft enough. He doesn't think so, but for now he's going to pray to Gorim that the softness down there was soft enough.
He doesn't think so, but for now he's going to try to fight
until he can get down and see if Benverine is still alive.
He also doesn't know how much damage was done to him by the thing.
Right.
And he was down there.
He felt the ground.
He knew it was soft.
He doesn't know about your yielding surface rules.
Meanwhile, Baron is covered in goo. He doesn't know what just splashed at rules. Meanwhile, Baron is covered in goo.
He doesn't know what just splashed at him.
Okay.
All right.
Deadly aim, rapid shot.
He really wants to take this guy out.
Here we go.
First shot.
Natural two.
Classic Lork.
Really wants to do it.
Well, he's upset.
Next shot.
Miss.
Miss, miss.
Just Lork.
He's stricken by grief.
Gorms. Gorms.
Gorms just shot electricity and was like,
that didn't do as much as I wanted it to do.
So Gorm is going to take off flying.
She's going to fly directly at the dragonfly.
Oh, baby!
That's awesome.
And burning hands as soon as she gets in range.
She's just like flying straight at him.
That's like, how about a little fire, Scarecrow?
Exactly.
Nice.
Not bad.
17 points of damage.
Reflex it.
Reflex save.
DC 14.
I will tell you right now, it has evasion.
Oh no!
That means no half damage.
No, it's only for AOE attacks.
Is that what it was?
I did Burning Edge.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you did another Lightning Bolt.
Yeah, so evasion means if exposed to any effect
that normally allows the character to attempt
a reflex saving throw for half damage, you take no damage with a successful saving throw.
So what's the DC?
DC?
It is time for evasion.
14.
14 reflex save makes it. Well, does that accidentally hit a wiga 21 yeah how
does that work because he was blocking a wiga it absolutely it's a wiga you wiggle we'll see
that's a save that's pretty funny though uh just as a bird uh 20 on the reflex save for Ewig. So she takes half. So she takes half damage, which is how much?
You said 16?
So 8.
I forgot.
17.
Okay.
So 8.
Oh, you guys round.
Okay.
And I'm like, sorry!
She goes, gah!
Gah!
Sorry.
Okay, Baron.
Sorry Okay, Baron
Baron is going to do
An acrobatics check
To see if he can move 20 feet instead of 10
You've got the wall at your side
So now you're like, alright, I'm just going to follow the wall
19
So you just run all the way up and smash straight into a wall
And I get to the corner
Take 6 points of lethal, non-lethal
No, you're fine
Okay, it is
its turn
it
it is now
face to face
with Gormley
and Iwiga
Gormley
came what
15 feet away
yeah
all right
so it turns
on Gorms
and goes to
bite Gorms
26 to bite Gorms yep 26 to bite Gorms.
Yep, that hits.
Bites Gorms for 20 points of damage.
Thing just bites Gorms, 20 points of damage.
Attempts to grapple.
Even though you're flying, you will be grappled.
23, excuse me.
No, it wasn't charging.
So it's only going to be, well, what's your CMD?
It's a 22
yeah that does that my cmd is a 14 so this thing bites onto gormley and just
holds gormley in its jaws galabras she doesn't try it doesn't try to drop me
uh no it saw you fly over there i'm gonna load a firebolt oh hell yeah into my crossbow
firebolt firebolt with a plus 20 to hit via two strike
natural 20 20 holy shit plus 20 on the confirm yes oh my god and a minus four
get out of here yes holy shit holy shit so are we doing the thing where if you roll another
natural 20 then it's just automatically dead we We stopped doing that because we were doing the triple
and quadruple damage. No, we were doing the two
cards.
No, no, no. I would now roll
a 20-sided die again
and then if it was miraculously
another 20, dead.
We've never done that.
Well, that was a suggestion from one of the listeners.
Well, what you get is what is the
crossbows times two uh it's times three times three yeah uh we this hasn't happened in a while
confirming a 20 on a 20 when we change the crit rules we never change this so yeah you get two
cards and you get to take the best one sweet that's more than fair and you're gonna do oh man
that's great wow that was a minus four to hit, but he had the plus 20.
Like, this is enormous.
Okay, shoulder wound.
Double damage and 1d2 strength and dex damage.
Jeepers.
Okay.
Okay.
So double damage, and that's a firebolt.
Right.
But I don't multiply.
The fire doesn't multiply.
Nine for nine normal.
Five fire.
One point of strength.
One point of dex.
That's going to make a huge difference.
You see this thing land on the dragonfly,
and you think it's one hit away from being killed.
You can just tell.
Death sense.
Andy Wigga is up next to it. Now, when you wild shape into an eagle, you take the stats of an eagle like it's a hit away from being killed. You can just tell. Death Sense. Andy Wigga is up next to it.
Now, when you wild shape into an eagle,
you take the stats of an eagle like it's a summoned creature,
or do you retain your strength in everything?
Yeah, from my understanding.
I never did melee combat, really,
so I'm not that familiar with it,
but I believe you maintain your stats.
I don't know.
Right, right.
Maybe it's just your mental stats, but...
I believe that's right.
Right.
Anyways, it claws,
hits,
for three points of damage.
So this eagle just claws,
three points of damage,
doesn't do any friggin' damage
because of the DR.
Next one is a miss.
Next one hits.
Still no damage.
So it hits twice
but because of the DR
you know
it doesn't
it's not going down
without a fight
uh
round six
Lork
you can kill it
normally it's still like
fortitude save
in its mouth right
yeah
yes
fortitude save everybody
sorry there's been a lot of energy
pulled out of the room
with the death of Benverine
is really sinking in.
Lork failed.
Lork failed.
So it's a minus two and a minus four
because Gormley's in its jaws.
Correct.
Why would that matter?
It's melee combat, technically.
Oh.
So it's a plus zero.
You want to hold him?
See if I can...
Unless you turn off deadly laugh.
Because I'm going to try to escape.
Yeah, I'll just hold my action.
You're holding, waiting for a'll hold my action you're holding
waiting for a clear shot
so you're just kind of
aiming your bow
oh he's just thinking
about jumping off
and killing himself
sure sure
that that as well
he's going to take
an action to hold
and think about suicide
okay Gorms
can I try to break the grapple
you absolutely can
uh
uh
nine
nine total
yeah
no
yeah I no I I assume I failed I only said it because you took the strength and dex damage nine. Nine total? Yeah. No.
Yeah.
No, I assume I failed.
I only said it because you took the strength and dex damage.
Right, right, right, yeah.
But I assume that fails.
Oh, my gracious.
Baron, you found the wall.
You found the end of the wall.
So dex check to see how far I can move.
So your acrobatics to try and... 19.
Yeah, acrobatics check. I made it.
So you're sprinting along the wall.
I'm not sprinting. I'm moving
at my normal move rate and feeling
out. I knew there was a rope drop from the earlier
plan. You find the rope within 10 feet
of you leading up to the platform
that Lork is
standing on. I am... Lork jumps
off, lands on Baron. They both...
I'm going to actually actually now that i have this
rope i still hear the din and clatter there's no way i could locate this thing from underneath all
these lily pads so i'm gonna there's also no way i mean i'm gonna hold my action until i hear it
die basically okay so i'm hanging out there down to the ground and i'm gonna i'm gonna stand
defensively lork do you want to take an action?
Please do.
It's its turn.
Will you please take an action?
All right, sure.
I'll shoot at it.
Miss.
It just tries to maintain the grapple on Gorms.
It does so and automatically does damage.
This is very, very bad.
This is very, very bad.
I can't hit it.
19 points of damage
for Gorms. Gormley's
unconscious, which means that Feather Fall is not
active. Oh my
God! It just
bit you in its mouth and
knocked Gormley unconscious! That's why I was saying
it was fucking dragonfly. So that means
if you kill it,
it's just gonna, they're going to fall to the ground.
And I'm in the negative.
Why wouldn't it just release her now and she'll just die anyway?
Well, it already did.
It maintained the grapple.
Oh, that's its action.
Yeah, when it maintains a grapple, it automatically does its bite damage again.
Galabras.
Galabras, you see Gormley's,
the light go out from Gormley's eyes in the jaws of this.
It's called an ultramarine chaser.
He sees that through a wigga?
That's incredible.
His flavor sense does.
I say, Gormley, no!
And I'm going to try to
jump across and get to her.
Okay.
So with acrobatics, since you're only going to move half speed,
you got to jump to that first one.
Okay.
And you never got the jump spell.
Correct.
It would have expired by now anyway.
No, it wouldn't have.
Because it started as I was moving over.
So he has a minus eight to the acrobatics check. Oh,ers so what if i if i fail the check i just fall to the ground
you get a reflex save to grab on don't do it don't do it lily pad you're gonna if you if you
roll anything below a 10 do you remember when this episode started off with a celebration
this is insane that's fucking dragonfly this is This is almost like, here's what this is.
Dragonfly?
With Baron and Gormley like this.
This is like a wedding anniversary where the husband buys a Ferrari that only he will enjoy.
Like you trying to kill all of us.
I'm not enjoying it.
You sound like you're having a great fucking time.
Hopefully we're over there with your champagne.
Yeah.
Sucking it down.
Drinking champagne.
Oh, by the way way can I get a refill
No you cannot
Ben for me you're not doing anything
Oh we're having fun
Alright I'm actually
I'm going to try to jump to this
Oh my god this is insane
Alright so Galabras with a minus
Eight acrobatics or am I
Misquoting you
Fail
Roll the two So try a reflex save Minus eight acrobatics, or am I misquoting you? Fail. No, you made it.
Oh.
Roll the two.
So.
Try a reflex save.
Try a reflex save.
Oh, my Lord.
Natural 20.
Oh!
Galabras.
There's another moment.
Ah!
Boom.
Grabs on.
The weight of Asgroth's armor weighed him down on that jump.
He's like, ah!
And he's just holding on to the lily pad for dear life.
And the lily pad begins descending.
Yeah.
All right.
That's going to save your life. Let's just take a look at the room here.
Yeah, why not?
There are the stairs leading down into this room.
Galabras just tried to jump across, almost fell,
is now hanging from a lily pad that is swiftly descending.
Iwiga, in the form of an eagle,
is battling the
giant dragonfly, known as
an ultramarine chaser, in case you didn't
get that when I was talking over people,
who has Gormley unconscious
in its jaws.
Meanwhile, Baron, blind,
covered in shit, covered in the
guts of Benverine, has been
feeling his way across the wall,
and he finally found a rope. Oh, the
rope has been dropped to the bottom
of the floor. Up
a hundred feet or so above him is
Lork standing on the platform
just saw his animal companion die.
The second thing under his charge
that has passed away and is just
firing arrows into nowhere.
I don't even know whose turn it is.
It is now Iwiga's turn.
And Iwiga... She can't do anything.
She can't do anything.
Does she have natural spell?
She does not.
So natural 20 would be the only way she's going to do any damage.
Claw, claw, bite from the eagle.
Lurks do a natural 20.
Now, the good thing is, last time you saw her go lightning
lightning and then you guys yelled out to her don't do that so now she's doing clock
clock bite clock clock bite it's not doing anything and she realizes this she's not an
idiot so hopefully next round she's going to try another tactic in the meantime round seven
gormley roll a constitution check i believe to, to stabilize herself? Yep.
DC's 10 plus however below zero you are.
So DC 11.
Oh.
You're fine.
Do I get to add anything to it?
No, just your con modifier.
I got it.
I got 11.
There you go.
There you go.
You're stabilized.
Not like it's going to matter.
Gormley is stabilized. She's just hanging over space.
She's not hanging over space.
She's 60 feet above the ground hanging over open space same distance that baron fell
heart's beating out of my chest i feel completely useless i know just keep rolling no magic you just
gotta wait if i kill it she's gonna die you You had Flame Arrow. I see what you mean. You're totally right.
Yeah, Flame Arrow.
If I kill it, Gormley dies.
If I don't kill it, Gormley dies.
Somebody's got to heal her or something.
Yeah, nobody do anything.
Right now, I'm just letting you know, just to give you an idea.
It goes Baron, Lork, the Ultramarine Chaser, Galabras, Iwiga.
Baron, you're up.
Baron continues to take a defensive stance.
And being blind at the bottom of a pit is not a great place to be.
It is not.
No way to get up.
No rope.
Nothing.
So I'm just kind of staying there defensively.
Lark.
I'll hold.
If I leave this platform, I have the rope.
I can't.
We'll never get back up if
one fucking thing i can try to do i have i have i want to i have to actually do some research
as we're talking about i want to bring it up sure so normally it is its turn so i'm curious
so where's featherfall is a spell that you can normally cast on something to
to make it fall slower right it's not a spell for me. It's an innate ability. The way the flight hex reads is that as the witch grows in power,
she becomes lighter.
So you could make an argument that I would feather fall,
whether I'm not a conscious or unconscious or unconscious.
I'm going to do some research.
That is a very important thing because it's about to drop you from its jaws.
Oh man.
So we took a little break there and kind of took a look at the rules and the result of the rules is, it's totally up to interpretation.
But what we've discovered is that, what Matthew, about this falling slowly?
Basically, the hex flight acts as per the flight, the spell fly, acts per the spell fly.
Right.
Which, once you cast it on yourself, you have a one minute per level duration.
Spent in one minute increments.
So, it's been under a minute since I flew off the platform.
Correct.
It's been like three rounds or so.
And the way we're reading it is that even if you go unconscious, the duration of the spell is time-based, not concentration-based.
So, your body would just fall slowly.
Yes. Not concentration based So your body would just fall slowly Yes however
We have to roll a d6
To see for how many rounds that would be in effect
Okay now
So wait
When the
It knocked you unconscious last round
And then I was in it
No it knocked me unconscious
Two rounds ago
I was
I was flying I flew towards it When I was in its, no, let's take it back.
I was flying.
I flew towards it.
Right.
When I cast the spell, I cast Burning Hands.
It evaded.
Then it went and grabbed me in its jaws.
Which, so by the rules, I was still flying at that point, even though it had me grappled.
Okay.
This is your third round.
So then the second round, it bit and it did automatic damage and knocked me unconscious.
Now this is the third round where it would release me.
Okay.
For refilling champagne.
And then, so if you, so 1d6 rounds, you fall slowly.
So if you roll a one.
I'm dead.
Because you used up that time in its jaws.
In its jaws, yeah.
Well, yeah, so technically I think I would argue that it should be, yeah, because I was unconscious and flying.
So it's not a four, five, six, and you're okay.
One, two, three, you're not?
No, it's two, three, four, five, six, I'm okay.
For roll one.
Okay, so you don't count the rounds you were unconscious.
It's only the rounds where it would be dropping you and you would have to use your flight.
No, that's what I'm counting.
I was unconscious for one round before I dropped it.
That's what I'm counting.
Okay, because this is the second round you've been unconscious.
So I think, yeah.
Oh, that's what I'm saying.
Sorry, the second round.
All right, so I have to roll a three, four, five, or six.
Three, four, five, six.
So we're all okay with this.
I think this is more than fair.
We've already lost one talented entertainer.
Episode 50, the results of a character living or dying
will be on this dice roll.
A D6. Why don't you let Joe roll it for you? I'm not even kidding. The results of a character living or dying will be on this dice roll.
A d6.
Why don't you let Joe roll it for you?
I'm not even kidding.
That's not funny.
All right, so if you roll a 3, 4, 5, 6,
you are released from its jaws and begin sinking for whatever you roll on the die.
60 feet, I think.
So I could still take damage.
I could still die even if I roll a 3, 4, 5, or 6.
Oh, okay.
If I roll a 6, I'm great.
If I roll a 5, I'm great. Yeah, 6 because... I think if I roll a 3 five six. Oh, okay. If I roll six, I'm great overall five I'm great. Yeah six cuz I think I think they're all three I
Take damage from falling from the last one two feet or definite death three
Possible death four five six. You're probably okay wild card walk
Joker's see what happens right in front of all of us. Yeah, I'm too. Oh
My god, oh My god Gormley on the table. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Gormley rolled a two.
And Gormley falls.
Oh, God.
To the compost heap. Fuck.
And you guys can hear from the bottom just her back snaps in half.
Oh, my God.
Jesus Christ.
And she dies.
Sorry, man. Jesus Christ And she dies Sorry man
I mean I don't
It sucks
Fucking sucks
To lose a character like that
Look at the smile
You see how he smiles
But I don't think
Well I'm just
I'm glad that we gave it
It's due diligence
And like really
Looked at it from a
Are we sure we're doing this
As close to right as possible
This is character death
We're talking about Holy Holy shit Oh hey hey let's pour one out for gormley can we can we kill the music
here yeah yeah it's garbage um wait i want to say one i want to ask one question of the dm i need
some sad music uh in the time it took to fall to the ground i think howie should have some last
words because he's gonna die too yeah Howie was conscious the whole time.
Howie's going to die from the fall.
We just met him.
Oh man, I really liked him.
I thought he'd have a good couple episodes coming up.
Maybe Howie can
pull something out and say some last words.
I think it's appropriate.
It only happens in Cormac's head.
As she's falling to the ground,
she just
hears him say i hope they have manager specials in heaven
quite simply and with that cheers buddy oh to gorms gormley i This is even more appropriate with a Wolverine dying
Because this is the ASPCA
Oh no no no that's a different song
I'd also like to point out she went out in a blaze of glory
She flew out into the battlefield shooting lightning and fire
She died like she lived
As a front line fighter She flew out into the battlefield shooting lightning and fire. She died like she lived as a frontline fighter.
She absolutely did.
Oh man.
Yeah.
There are,
I know that there are a lot of people out there that are going to be
devastated.
Oh man.
Nothing's going to beat the role playing with Kesson plum.
Uh,
but,
uh,
how's how it works. How's rag going to feel? Oh my God. We got to go Kes and Plum. How's Halberk's going to feel?
How's Rag going to feel?
Oh my God.
We got to go back and tell Rag.
What does she say to him?
Like, wait for me.
I always come back.
Oh no.
Oh God.
I just got chills.
Oh, this is crushing.
Well, here's the reality.
Two of your party members have just died
and this thing is still alive.
You've got to steal yourselves.
It is now Galabras' turn.
What the fuck am I going to do?
I'm sneaking on this lily pad.
Yeah, he's hanging on a lily pad, slowly floating to the ground.
This is the worst game of Frogger I have ever played in my life.
All right, so do I have to make a strength check to
crawl up onto the lily pad? Yes, and you know
I technically let Lork do that
last time as part of the round that he fell.
Gormley. Gormley, excuse me.
I've already forgot about her.
God damn it!
Jesus Christ!
Oh my god! You're so sadistic, man.
Oh, man!
How the fuck do you have a wife?
You have no heart.
How the fuck does anyone love this black-tard-souled?
I hope I have manager specials in heaven!
Oh my god.
Sorry, when Gorms was falling,
I let her use her hair as part of that round,
so I don't wanna steal your whole round standard action
by pulling yourself up, so. Okay, well, I rolled a five, so.
Oh my God.
Well, so you make no progress.
Yes.
But do I fall, so I fall another 20 feet, right?
Yeah, the lily pad sinks another 20 feet.
So it's 40 feet down?
But no, remember, we're saying that happened last round.
So now you're 20 feet down.
Oh, okay.
And at the start of this round,
it goes another 20 feet down.
Okay.
So this lily pad has sunk, everybody's all turned upside down right now but now it is a
strength check 40 feet um and now you can make another strength check but that is a standard
action this time okay all right i made it roll the 17 on the die beautiful so galabras you get up
there um you can make an acrobatics check to move to the next lily pad if you
want. Oh, no, you're sinking.
No, I'm too far down.
Oh, my lord. So, I'm just going to load
with a move action, I'm going to load another
firebolt into my crossbow.
Okay.
Don't you have a feat
that lets you do that fast now? With a
move action. Oh, well.
No, it's always a move action.
I can't move anyway, so it's always yeah yeah we go from a move
anyway so it's okay it's the same thing skid is just demolishing the prosecco uh
iwiga i miss her so much man iwiga i'm gonna bring back our ass kicking music to kick this
yeah come on man can you please kill it iwiga does a full withdraw out of the eagle shape
to go back to the platform.
She's got to regroup herself to try another tactic
because lightning didn't work,
claw-claw bite didn't work as an eagle,
so she just uses her action,
and she has to do it with,
otherwise she'll incur an attack of opportunity,
so she just turns back into Helen Mirren.
Not even Helen Mirren could sell this shit. Round eight. back into uh helen mirren uh not even helen mirren round eight
baron so um this is a question for you uh-huh this thing is 100 feet in the air uh no at this
point it is still sitting pretty at 60 it is 60 and i 50 this way. So I'm 120 feet away from it.
Correct.
And blind and blind.
So you have no idea.
So do you even know?
I was going to suggest taking,
taking a shot at a negative 12 rolling concealment and seeing what would
happen.
Just shooting up with the,
I mean,
you have no idea.
You have no idea.
If anything,
you're going to hit Gormley's body.
It would just be fun, I think.
Right.
Roll a 20.
Yeah.
But I would still have to do concealment on top of that.
There are so many things.
Yeah, roll a 20 and then roll concealment.
So I'm going to roll at a minus one.
If there was any other creature there, I would say in this case,
you also roll a 1d4 to see if you hit your friend.
But there's nobody else there.
So, yeah, go ahead for shits and giggles.
What else is Baron?
He's just pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. That's, yeah. It'sits and giggles What else is Baron? He's just That's, yeah
That's a misfire, isn't it?
Oh my god
It is a misfire, but that's fine
Okay
I'll now
I'll use a move action next round to clear it
You rolled a two
But died
Lork
This thing is all alone
All by itself
Just chillin'
You've killed the last of us.
And I pull back the bow to do another rapid shot.
First shot, 17.
Miss.
With the minus one AC?
Oh, wait.
The minus one, I forgot to add that thing, so that actually hits.
Beautiful.
Sorry, I was reloading it.
Minus one AC.
Ten points of damage.
Ten points of damage.
Okay. Second shot.
Twenty, even.
Yeah. Twenty even hits? Yeah, adjusted.
Twelve points
of damage. Ooh! Ooh!
Lork, seeing
Benverine fall to the ground,
presumably dead. Seeing Gormley, lifeless body, fall to the ground, presumably dead. Seeing Gormley, lifeless body,
fall to the ground, presumably dead.
Rears back with his bow,
hits it straight in one of its tail pieces,
and then the second one goes straight through the heart,
and the thing falls from the sky.
Fuck this thing.
And dies.
Oh!
God.
Hey, boys and girls, did you enjoy episode 50?
Email us at glasscannonpodcast at gmail.com
and let us know what you think about this jerk Troy killing two party members.
Oh, God.
Wow.
Gormley, really?
Fan favorite Gormley?
Gormley did not rank at all in that list of people to kill.
I mean, of all the people that I would have tried to bite and grapple,
it would have never been Gormley. Because of the feather fall. Because of the to kill. I mean, of all the people that I would have tried to bite and grapple, it would have never been Gormley.
You know?
Because of the feather fall.
Because of the feather fall.
So Lork and, Lork is on the opposite end of the room,
facing stairs leading, I can't remember if it's going down or up.
Doesn't really matter right now.
Baron, blind, still, on the ground, rope under his feet,
just shooting wildly into the air.
Galabras has now sunk all the way to the floor.
We'll say time.
You're out of combat.
I run over to their Gormley's body and see if there's anything I can do.
Search it for glute.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
She died like she lived.
Tears, tears in my eyes.
I'm looking over.
Does Conley live?
Does Ben Moraine live?
She's died.
She's died.
She's died.
I don't know what to do.
Galabras and Baron, guys, get the rope.
You pull them up to the top.
We'll just flash forward in time here.
But, I mean, I'm sure you guys are going to want to do something with the bodies as well.
You're going to probably want to take them, pull them up, or figure it out.
Or are you just going to deal with it later?
It's up to you guys.
We'll get them up.
I can tie a rope to them.
And gentle repose them or something?
Yeah, I can do that too.
Oh, Jesus.
Meanwhile, I'm just lying on my side crying like Billy Boyd
after the Moria scene in Fellowship of the Red-Lynx.
Just crying my eyes out.
Yeah.
We need that music.
Yeah.
Harrowing.
Harrowing.
So now you guys are all on the other end of the platform,
minus two of you.
After a while, the droning buzz recedes to the bottom of the floor again.
Good thing you took the corpses away,
otherwise they would have been fly food.
A staircase lies before you, and you, what do you do?
Are you just going to kind of gentle repose the bodies
and leave them there in the hallway for now?
Are you just going to kind of gentle repose the bodies and leave them there in the hallway for now?
I almost feel like if you guys think this is inappropriate
for character stuff, but from a metagaming perspective,
now that that thing's dead, I want to go back over the lily pads
and rest in her room again.
Yeah, actually, if we can get back across
and bring the bodies with us,
I would love to cast Gentle Repose, leave them there, and then...
Yeah, I mean, you could definitely do that.
I would say the best course of action is to just climb down.
You guys aren't going to make those checks,
especially if Gormley isn't there to give you jump.
So if you want to take the time to climb down, climb back up.
Go back into her room.
Go back.
I think we should do that.
It's up to you guys.
And I want to have a full funeral.
Yeah, I want to actually,
what I want to do is I want to leave the vault.
I want to go outside.
We can't have a funeral and leave him in some demiplane.
Why wouldn't we just go back out to the Standing Stones? Well, I mean not we can't have a funeral and leave him in some demi-plane why wouldn't we just go back out to the standing stones well I mean we could
presumably we could have a
service of some I know what you mean if you want to
give them a general pose like we can just
wait until we're done and then
Galabras roll a perception check
25
perfect you remember that uh that room where seed storage was
had something going on in there that was very uh preservative so all the gardening tools had
rusted and everything but i had mistakenly said the carbon items were still alive but like the the living things were uh flourishing so you feel like if you wanted to
you could put uh the bodies in there oh wow it's like uh it's like the end of star trek 2
the planet genesis they they leave spock's body on the planet.
I favor that.
Perhaps if we leave her, this place is
the energy of life
pulses through this room.
Perhaps we could leave her here.
What's your knowledge, Arcana, by the way?
I don't have it.
Cormley had all that knowledge.
I'll just tell you because the caster level is so low.
The room is being preserved by an
unduent of timelessness.
Basically,
what's happening in there acts as if you've
put an unduent of timelessness
on something. And what that says is
when applied to any matter that was once alive,
such as wood, paper, or a dead body,
this ointment allows that substance
to resist the passage of time.
So similar to gentle repose,
you can leave them in there
and they're not going to decompose.
They'll retain their lifelike state,
although they're broken and battered
from falling from such a high level.
Anyways, you feel like it's a safe place you could leave the bodies.
Well, I think at least we should do that.
Yeah, let's do that.
And rest.
Okay.
So you put the bodies in seed storage.
Oh, God, man.
Manhattan seed storage.
I actually, as we lay them down,
I take, for the first time in this whole adventure,
it's been kind of Harrison Ford-like.
It's never left my head.
I take my hat off my head, and I place it over Gormley's face so that she can rest.
So I'm, for the first time in this whole adventure, without a hat.
Oh, okay. I'm going into this dungeon uh i meant what i said when kesson plum
stood up and accused her at that meeting that she's the only reason that true now wasn't the
smoldering pit it was meant to be and god damn it if you go against her i'm out too
so even though we never had great talks, I respected her greatly.
She was a key, key member to this journey.
But you all know that what she would want you to do is complete the mission
because you're the only family she had.
She wanted nothing to do with True Now
and they opened her or welcomed her back with open arms.
You're her family and you
probably now she died for them those fucks oh man flork lives i'm gonna go back to true now
and beat the shit out of kess and plop you guys not gonna kill you guys you guys never do up
you never knew what happened that's true that's true you know his god gorm is gonna tell him
in a dream. All right.
And let's say there was some late night conversations.
Hey,
what was going on with you with that guy?
Right,
exactly.
We've been traveling together for,
we may not be on air,
but,
uh,
uh,
go ahead.
I just want to say something quickly over Ben Vereen.
Uh,
it kind of fits in.
So I just want to,
uh,
as we lay him down,
I just want to say,
I just want to ask Gorham for your blessing over his body.
He died bravely in battle and fought well.
He was aggressive and angry and filled with rage.
And perhaps it led to his death, but it was a bold death.
And if I could have taught him to stay, he wouldn't have come, but he was coming to me.
So, please, give him a good afterlife.
And you walk away.
You guys rest.
Regain your, uh, it points back your HD plus your con bonus,
whatever, all your spells and whatnot.
Not that it even matters at this point.
I'm assuming you go back into the lily pad room
and retract your steps.
You rope down,
fuck these lily pads, we're not going to risk
dying over this.
Hewig is with you. Hewig was solemn with you the whole time
keeping vigil.
You guys make it to the other end of the room, and there are stairs that lead downward.
Do you keep going down the stairs?
Yeah.
Yep.
You follow the stairs downward, and the hallway ends and turns to the left,
and you see a long hallway in front of you,
sloping downward.
And Lork,
what do you,
there's basically,
it's a switch,
not even a switchback.
You go down a set of stairs to a landing,
down another set of stairs,
and then a long sloping hallway leading down deeper.
And you can see doors at
the end of the room how's it lit is it completely dark uh no it's it's it's a normal light that the
the presence of this demi-plane is always keeping things lit um okay then i'm going to
oh my god it's so weird like without gormley it's like there's just three of us and this
rando druid that's completely useless
yeah
forgets to take her
turn
yeah
just one round
but it's not a big
deal when she
and Baron is
fucking blind like
now we
yeah
well can we ask her
to lead him around
especially since she
knows the whole
adventure
uh yeah
she
this way
don't step there
that's a trap yeah no she uh she agrees uh so yeah adventure? Yeah. This way. Don't step there.
That's a trap. No, she agrees.
So yeah, doorway at the end of the hall. Go down to the doorway.
One doorway? Yep.
Double doors? Are there ironwood branches
in front of it?
No, this is just
a regular old doorway.
Regular old doorway.
All right, Lorca, open it up.
Okay. You open the doors Lorical open it up. Okay.
You open the doors.
They open inward.
And you realize that you are inside of a massive hollow tree that has been carved on one side of it with a staircase going down.
But you're inside the hollow of the tree.
And there's a staircase leading around the corner
into another area.
Anybody have knowledge dungeoneering?
Yep.
Roll that.
Hey, there you go, Lork.
22.
22.
You just think from where you've been walking.
It's under the bridge.
You're under the bridge.
This is leading right into the bottom of the greenhouse.
So we're going to find that guy that blinded you for shadow and we're gonna grab him by the
neck and be like dispel it and i'm giving his fishing pole back if i'm gonna you over there
dragon if i give us that lure back if i'm gonna talk into the future i'm gonna let him live but
if i get my eyesight back i'm gonna rip his wings off like he's gonna be i'm gonna keep my promise
but i'm gonna fuck him up so he can't fly all right so all right so we're we're under there
yep and so we know there was some big creature down there and we know okay because i could have
think about it if i could see i could have done tons of damage to that thing oh yeah oh sure we
would have been fine it would have saved his life. Yeah. So you're 100% responsible.
So I am so angry right now.
Is that what you're saying?
I mean, that's what I thought.
That's what I heard.
Stop talking into that mirror, Troy.
Somebody give Matthew a Kleenex.
Poor guy.
He's just sitting there weeping.
I know.
I'm muted as Michael Wiley.
Did you really?
Yep.
You're dead, bro.
For one whole episode after you die.
I'm still muted. I'm still muted i'm still
dude you don't know tongues no more uh so do you go down the stairs are you
gonna steal yourselves what do you get um yeah you know preparing for combat
falchion drawn uh casting um shield of faith on myself and you can't cast cat's grace right
no were there any items?
Oh, I'll take the...
No, I won't take the heavy.
No, I took the wand.
I can...
There's also a wand of invisibility.
Oh, and Cleric can cast invisibility.
You should cast Cast Grades on both of us.
Yeah, we'll have to deal with Gormley's...
I don't think he can.
I don't think Clerics can cast...
Gormley's items off air.
But if there's something of hers you want to use right now,
you're welcome to it.
Okay.
She'd want us to.
We can go back and use it retroactively.
Sure.
All right.
So we're in this tree.
Well, what do we see?
It's a big open room.
You see the staircase leads out into an open room.
Okay.
So if you go down the staircase.
So stealing ourselves for battle and snaking down.
I can't believe I don't have my animal companion.
I don't have my witch.
All right.
Here we go.
I can't believe I don't have my animal companion.
I don't have my witch.
All right, here we go.
Sure enough, you walk down the stairs,
and you are in the bottom garden that was below the bridge that you were on earlier.
All manner of exotic flora fills this massive conservatory.
There's a thick mist floating just above the ground. If you were a small creature, you could hide in the mist.
It's that low to the ground.
And it carpets the whole area in a perpetual fog.
The air is very moist and a thousand smells, both pleasant and otherwise, just waft through the area.
Water drips from the bridge high above you.
And it falls like rain to the greenhouse floor.
So imagine mist on the ground, artificial rain,
and there is a constant symphony of bird song
and other animal noises filling the air.
As you turn the corner, a monkey comes swinging off the tree
and lands right in front of Galabras and starts, like, sniffing you.
What do you do, Galabras?
Be nice to him.
I...
Small little monkey.
I kneel down and kind of reach out my hand, palm up to him.
It puts its hand in your hand.
Kind of smile.
A lizard comes and crawls onto Baron's feet.
Baron, you feel something on your foot,
and a bird lands on your shoulder.
What do I do?
Yeah, I don't know if anybody tells you
i reach very gently up to my shoulder where the bird is and do i feel feathers very gently i have
high deck so i could do this super gently right and with minus 40 or deck space ability
you crush the bird i love you i'm lenny from so i just very gently and adroitly
pet the bird's feathers adroitly you have a drink of champagne yeah my sat score goes up when i
drink champagne it's amazing uh yeah and uh you and the reptiles leave your foot
and go over to Uyghur's foot
and kind of walk towards Uyghur
and go over her feet and run away.
And then a small bear cub
comes out of the bushes
right near Lork's feet.
Oh my God.
And just sits there next to Lork.
And looks at you in a way
that you haven't seen
since Ben Vereen.
Oh!
And we'll pick it up here next week.
Very clever!
Very clever!
Yeah!
A bear!
Yeah!
Goodbye, Gormley.
Next episode, title,
Bear Minimum.
Prod. Outro Music