The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 55 - Ewigga, Please!

Episode Date: June 14, 2016

Battered and spent from their ruthless battle with the Brambleblight, the heroes try to muster what little strength they have left to fight tooth and nail against an elusive and disturbingly powerful ...traitor in their very midst! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. It's the first time any of you have talked to me all week, by the way. After a devastating betrayal. Not a single sense motive. Not a single detect alignment or whatever. Except for Andela. Right, except for Andela. I don't like the looks of that teenager.
Starting point is 00:00:17 The heroes face their most powerful foe yet. Now, in all your years of D&D, have you ever been part of a TPK? And desperate times. Calabras! We hardly knew you. Actually, we knew you very well. Call for desperate measures. Can we go back to a save point? Reload right before Gormley's help.
Starting point is 00:00:36 I don't like the way this is looking. Reload. The adventure continues. Hey, an attack hit or a melee attack? Now. Hey, an attack hit or a melee attack? No. Hey, what's going on, everybody? Troy LaVallee back again with another exciting episode of the Glass Cannon Podcast. After last week's insane encounter, we're coming at you with a jumbo-sized episode this week. But before we get to that, I have three orders of business to attend to. The first two are plugs about things that we're doing, and the last is a big surprise.
Starting point is 00:01:24 So if you stick with me for the doing and the last is a big surprise. So if you stick with me for the plugs, I'll give you the surprise. Number one, we launched a YouTube channel and we need you to subscribe. Why?
Starting point is 00:01:32 Because we're trying to work to get to 10,000 subscribers. 10,000 subscribers, Troy, that's insane. You're never going to get that much. And why would you even want it? Well, here's the thing. If we get 10,000 subscribers,
Starting point is 00:01:42 we will gain access to the YouTube space here in New York. And what that means is we'll be able to start filming content for the YouTube channel with Google's money, basically. That's basically what it means. I've been to the YouTube space in New York and it's insane. So if we ever get 10,000 subscribers, we'll be able to use that space. And now you think, well, 10,000 subscribers, Troy, you've got like 300 something right now. How are you going to reach that amount? Well, right now, if my numbers are correct, we have about 20,000 subscribers to our podcast. So if half of you right now pause the podcast, go to YouTube.com, search for the glass cannon,
Starting point is 00:02:15 and hit subscribe, I think that will take 45 seconds tops. If half of you do that, boom, we've got 10,000 subscribers. So is it impossible? Well, you tell me. I'm going to check YouTube tomorrow. And if it's not a 10,000, well, then we've all failed. Number two, Skid and Joe mentioned the past couple of weeks, but we have launched a Twitch channel. Right now, Joe and I are doing a live playthrough of Dark Souls 3 about twice a week now. We usually do Wednesday nights, Saturday afternoons. I play the game while Joe makes fun of me, basically.
Starting point is 00:02:46 And it's a lot of fun. Now, you might be thinking, well, I don't want to watch a couple idiots play video games, and I don't blame you. But what's really fun is the chat room. Joe runs the chat while I do the more important work of playing the actual game. But we've got like 30, 40 people, and it's growing every day that go on there and chat, and we'll talk about episodes, we'll talk about the glass cannon, we'll talk about the game. We'll talk about life. It's a lot of fun. Even if you don't want to watch, just go to twitch.tv slash the glass cannon and subscribe.
Starting point is 00:03:11 Cause again, we need the numbers. All right. You listen to me, do the plugs. And now here comes the quote unquote, big news. This Thursday,
Starting point is 00:03:19 June 16th, 2016 marks the actual one year anniversary of the day we launched the Glass Cannon Podcast. So, to celebrate our one-year anniversary starting this Thursday and every Thursday thereafter, we are bringing you a new show called Cannon Fodder. Great name, right? Cannon Fodder is going to be a weekly 15 to 20-minute show where Joe and I and eventually some other guests are going to talk about the previous week's episode. A little bit behind the scenes, a little bit, hey, Troy, what were you thinking here?
Starting point is 00:03:48 Hey, what's going on with this character? Hey, why am I such a terrible roller? That's my impression of Joe, by the way. It launches this Thursday, every Thursday thereafter. The fans ask for more content and we're giving it to them. And speaking of more content, we got a brand new episode coming in hot right now. Here it is. Episode 55.
Starting point is 00:04:08 E-Wiga, please. All right. You're stalling too long. I'm going to jump in here. I'm starting this episode. All right. Let's try something new. I hope you started by murdering Troy.
Starting point is 00:04:21 I didn't expect you to actually let me start. No, no. I've been thinking, I've had some time to think about what happened and where we are with this Uyghur turning on us, you know, and all of the... It's the first time any of you have talked to me all week, by the way. I mean, Skidhead doesn't return my texts. And I thought about it and I was like, you know what, this is, and I was so mad. And I wasn't, I wasn't really mad mad at you I was so mad at the situation and I was mad at myself you know
Starting point is 00:04:48 you get mad when you get deceived that you didn't see through it earlier and you see all the warning signs like oh I asked you why doesn't she have a level one cure spell why does she go unconscious and you were just like oh it's the evil whatever you know and
Starting point is 00:05:04 you over a long period of time of this episode have proven to be a pretty you know like subpar gm without it doesn't do a lot of work and doesn't really read it doesn't really read up on stuff you know it doesn't know the rules or anything doesn't know anything about underwater combat you know on a boat adventure uh so nautical terms right so i felt So I felt like all these things that you did have led up to this moment. And I thought, you know, in Rounders, it's like the first thing that he says in the movie
Starting point is 00:05:35 for anybody out there that plays poker, he just says, if you're sitting at a poker table in the first hour, you can't spot the sucker. You are the sucker. And so what I find to be much more dangerous is when you're playing poker and you identify the sucker but he's playing you and you get burned so bad and like that is what happened in this case i thought you weren't doing your research i thought you had to go unconscious because you didn't feel like playing another npc
Starting point is 00:06:04 which you've complained about over and over and over for episodes and episodes. And meanwhile, you were playing us right into your hands, and it made me so angry at myself that I didn't see it. So now I just want to say
Starting point is 00:06:19 I'm going to have a little more respect for you going forward. I'm going to be much more careful in how I play my hands. And I'm going to be watching you. respect for you going forward. I'm going to be much more careful in how I play my hands. I'm going to be watching you. You fuck. Don't leave town. Well played. Thank you. How many episodes since you met her?
Starting point is 00:06:35 I think it was 48 or 49. It was 49, I think, we met her. I think it was 55. I always want to point out, it's like the murder she wrote casting. 49? It was 49, I think, we met her. I think this is 55. Wow. I mean, I always want to point out, it's like the murder she wrote casting. Like, you should have been able to spot the murderer because she was the biggest name. And Helen Mirren.
Starting point is 00:06:52 Yeah. Yeah. One of the world's most respected actresses. Of course she's evil. I mean, Della's being played by some unnamed. Oh, I didn't even hold you to that. God damn it, Joe. Wait a minute, that was two episodes ago.
Starting point is 00:07:04 God damn it. All right, that's it. I've been so caught up, I haven't even hold you to that. Wait a minute, that was two episodes ago. Damn it. All right, that's it. I've been so caught up, I haven't thought about it. All the suggestions keep rolling in on Twitter. Let me point out that you guys detected evil on Della, but did not detect evil on Uyghur. Stop deflecting. Stop deflecting.
Starting point is 00:07:20 Caster! Young Natalie Portman. Natalie Portman from The Professional. I'll actually think about this. Wait, I had a good idea. I don't know how we let this go. Oh my God. Who was the girl?
Starting point is 00:07:31 Oh God. Game of Thrones. The character, the queen, the new queen that marries Tom and Marge. Oh, Marjorie. Natalie Dormer. Yeah, Natalie Dormer. I thought of her because think of her with like half of her head shape, like half the side of her head shape. Oh yeah. With like long blonde i was like that is della to me you know what i mean
Starting point is 00:07:50 like looking at your mini and everything that is another good suggestion that's a great suggestion i'll take it just keep rolling them in for you matthew uh now there's a lot that i want to tell you about it we're good but you're not going to find out unless you survive. The only glimmering shimmer of hope that I see in this whole thing is that she's been waiting this long because she was unable herself to
Starting point is 00:08:15 defeat all of the creatures in this dungeon. Interesting. So, we at least have some sort of a fighting chance to defeat her if she was unable to defeat these things. Right. And I think that's a pretty awesome way of thinking about what she did. And it could be dead on.
Starting point is 00:08:34 My only concern is that we are severely weaker than we were before. The other thing I wanted to say is I feel terribly for not jumping in immediately and trying to save Della after she saved me. jumping in immediately and trying to save Della after she saved me, but I will say that there is real calculus that would go into your head if you thought you could possibly die from doing something. You would have a degree of hesitation. Sure, there's a self-preservation that's going to come
Starting point is 00:08:54 in. No, I would not have minded at all if you did not go out to save Della. But what you said was like, I'm going to hope that these guys can take care of that and start to move over and i wanted to make it clear to you that like lork was at negative six and it was like it we looked so bad so beat up i will say in the future though i i've been called a little
Starting point is 00:09:15 bitch for asking for more healing in the past and i've apologized for saying that no no no let's be clear let's be clear it's been joe mostly who's called me a little bitch or or implied by saying that he is me a little bitch or implied by saying that he is not a little bitch right that I am one it's been a lot of name calling so next time we do that
Starting point is 00:09:31 and we have an opportunity to heal in a dungeon I'm going to demand for max hit points or rally for it anyway interesting now in all your years
Starting point is 00:09:42 of D&D Skitty have you ever been part of a TPK no we were talking about this earlier I never have no
Starting point is 00:09:47 I never ran two Mofors I've never heard of one I mean you always hear you read about them online yeah but I've never been in one no
Starting point is 00:09:55 maybe playing Baldur's Gate yeah but then you reload your save and then you're back right is that an can we go back to a save point just yeah
Starting point is 00:10:04 reload right before Gormley i don't like the way this is looking reload let's just do that last combat again much more knowledgeable back to episode 46 yeah well that combat was eight hours so we've all rested so we're good i think it's eight rounds uh well i think i think the time has come uh jump into this. This is a harrowing, harrowing situation. You guys went through this whole living dungeon with this druid companion who was lame, unhelpful, seemingly lost trying to regain her powers, and she waited all the way to the point where you had been sapped.
Starting point is 00:10:46 Oh my God, just think about her in the room. You asked, you said, like, why has the evil never come into this room? And she's like, I don't know. Like, how did we not see that? Not a single sense motive. Not a single detect alignment or whatever. Except for Andela.
Starting point is 00:11:02 Right, except for Andela. I don't like the looks of that teenager. Except I'm the one played by the guy who's in your party. When you do cast her, you should cast her as someone with an untrustworthy look. I'll make up for your shitty role. Retroactively justify our stupidity.
Starting point is 00:11:19 Something about that felcher looks ungainly. Fetchling. Fetchling. Fetchling. The sculpture looks ungainly. Fetchling. Fetchling. Fetchling. Fetchling.
Starting point is 00:11:26 All right. Let's take a look at the room, huh? Maybe for some of you, the last time you'll look at a room. All right, all right. This kid hates me so much. All right, we have Della on top of the mound. So there are six 30-foot mounds in the room, and one giant 50-foot mound with a swollen treasure chest on top.
Starting point is 00:11:49 Three on the right side, three on the left side, we'll say. The room kind of curves. Della is on top of the second mound to the left. In the little warren valley between these mounds sits the rest of the, we'll call them heroes. Calabrus leading the charge with Baron to his left, and then behind Baron to the right is Lork, and then behind Lork is Barry Connick Jr.
Starting point is 00:12:16 Still good. Barry, make sure you get that bear in there. Barry, Barry. And Iwiga laughs, calls you fools, tells you to prepare to die, and then goes invisible. Roll for initiative. Oh, I completely forgot she went invisible. Oh, my God. I don't like her.
Starting point is 00:12:38 I don't like her one bit. Oh, boy. Okay. Who is above 20 20 20 for For Lork Lork
Starting point is 00:12:48 And Barry Who is above reproach None of you Baron what'd you get 18 18 for Baron Della 12
Starting point is 00:12:57 12 Galabo 8 Galabo would be a fun name If you Let's do Galabo Left the adventure Galabo Galabo
Starting point is 00:13:04 Galabo would be a fun name if you left the adventure and became a clown. Galabo, Galabo, Galabo. Okay. Round one. First to act, Iwiga. Surprise, surprise. 19 on the die. I wasted my 19 on initiative. Is it a waste?
Starting point is 00:13:20 Let's find out. First thing that happens. Everyone roll a reflex save. Again, the ground comes up to try and grab all of you. Fail, fail, fail. Spell? It is a spell. 26.
Starting point is 00:13:39 21 for Lork and 18 for Barry. Della? 21. 21. 21. So only Galabras is entangled. And. So you know what?
Starting point is 00:13:54 That's so funny. I would think that that was something that that boss guy did that we fought last time. It was her? Was it her doing it or was it just something in the room? Yeah. Like, I don't know. Or if it's just natural, they just always try to grab anything that walks in here. Without intelligence, they just... Can I do a knowledge arcana check?
Starting point is 00:14:11 Let me guess, it's probably not going to grab her. When it comes to your turn, I'll let you roll something similar to that. Lork, you're up. I'm going to have Barry... If you remain in the spot where you're in, you will automatically be... I'm going to have Barry Connick Jr. go first. Okay. Here's what he does.
Starting point is 00:14:27 Oh, he's got some sense. I say attack. He has sent. Is she within 30 feet? Is she within 30 feet? Of Barry. Of Barry. Yes.
Starting point is 00:14:40 He will spend a move action to know the direction. he will spend a move action to know the direction. He's sensing it basically behind the mound that he's standing on. I mean, that he's standing next to. So Barry is right in front of the first mound on the left side, and he is sensing her behind. Okay, so Barry is going to then spend his other move action to begin tracing the scent. Okay. He doesn't need to squeeze through there, right?
Starting point is 00:15:09 Because he's small? Right. I'm going to say attack and he starts sniffing and then I can see him start moving around. Around, okay. To the back side. And he does that, that's automatic, right? For him? Okay. So he starts moving around. Yeah, from what I can tell. To the back side. Alright. Go get him there uh and with within five feet he automatically knows where she is
Starting point is 00:15:31 uh yeah if he gets within five feet so he doesn't have to roll survival or anything yeah survival is to track so like if she's like further away i think right um it can follow tracks by smell. This is not tracking. The creature's already within 30 feet. He spends a move action to note the direction, and that's it. So then he can start moving in that direction. Once he's within five feet, he knows exactly what square she's in.
Starting point is 00:15:58 And he has a 30-foot movement. So if he's not hindered by that tight passage, he would keep moving toward the scent until he saw her. He's got 30 feet. Okay. Anywhere near him? Question mark. Within 5 feet? Yeah. No. Okay. Lork, what do you do? Lork sees him squeeze through that little
Starting point is 00:16:17 tunnel there, and he is going to... God, man, this is so complicated. Crapper, crapper, crapper. Well, I'm just gonna die if I get in melee range with her. But maybe she's like a caster of some kind. She's not wearing armor. I don't want to be afraid of her, but I also can't see anything. All right, yeah, fuck it.
Starting point is 00:16:36 Let's be bold. Lorca's going to go around the other side to flank where... Literally, just out of nowhere, Barry Sanders just popped into my head. I'm just getting these like random Barry's. Barry Connick Jr. went, and he's going to loop around the right side with his falchion drawn and see if he can see her back there.
Starting point is 00:16:59 Okay, you do not see her. Okay. But you see Ben Vereen. Ben Vereen, not Ben Vereen, sorry. You see Barry Connick Jr. Sniffing in that direction. Okay. So you would think maybe she is somewhere there.
Starting point is 00:17:10 Okay. Baron. Baron's going to move 20 feet towards Lork. He's seen this type of tactical action before against Melira. He remembers that battle clearly as it almost killed him. action before against Malira. He remembers that battle clearly as it almost killed him. Uh,
Starting point is 00:17:25 and, uh, since he can't see anything, his action being readied is to shoot her. If she becomes visible. Okay. So ready. Or, or if to shoot her,
Starting point is 00:17:37 like, you know, singles out where she is. Okay. Sorry. I want to go back and feel, let me, I forgot that I didn't take any other action besides moving over there and looking.
Starting point is 00:17:45 So I'd love to drink. I have a potion of cure moderate. So I'd like to drink. Great idea. And that will get the boost. Yes. Yes. Plus 50% because of the healing nature of this area.
Starting point is 00:17:56 Where'd you get that potion from? Do you remember? No, it was a long time ago. Actually, I don't think it was even that long ago. Because I wanted to know. Before the Vault of Scorns. I wanted to know if I had one, too. I have one on my sheet.
Starting point is 00:18:07 Oh, no, we gave them to you because you almost had your head cut off by what's-her-face. Hey, we have good berries, too. You can eat a good berry. Hey, every hit point can count when it comes to life and death. As Baron was one point away from death. I'll take, well, can I redo mine? Can I take a good berry? Yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:18:21 Just eat one good berry. You only move 20 feet, so you have a standard action. Good berries. So I get one point, and then... You can eat as many as you want. You I take a good berry? Yeah, sure. Just eat one good berry. You only move 20 feet, so you have a standard action. Good berries. So I get one point, and then... You can eat as many as you want. You can have a handful. I'm going to have a handful. I'm going to have all my good berries.
Starting point is 00:18:31 Okay. And what does that give you? One hit point each? One hit point each. Yeah, and I think we had three each, and I had four. So Baron, eat some berries, as one does before. Oh, my God. I want to ask Skid to roll the cure moderate.
Starting point is 00:18:42 This is turning into Skyrim, you like eat everything in your inventory Before you battle Alright, I got 18 healing on that potion Plus 50% Very good, and it is now Della's turn So am I, in watching this, I know That Barry
Starting point is 00:18:59 Knows that she's back there You get the sense That Barry probably... But not the scent. Barry, yeah. I mean, you haven't known Barry that long, but... Yeah, Lork has like, I like to think of it as him having some sort of divine connection to the animal,
Starting point is 00:19:17 where he sees what it does. Absolutely. But you might not know exactly what he's doing just yet. Right. But you see us all converging on this one point You can talk Well, I mean, here's my thing I want to cast Glitter Dust, and I can from this range
Starting point is 00:19:29 But I don't want to waste it So I could ready an action that when I know where she is I could cast it Well, um I only have a ten foot radius on it You see, look, here's the decision You see Barry Connick Jr. going around to the left of this mound. You see Lork and Baron going around to the right.
Starting point is 00:19:48 Now there's only 15 feet in between the two of us on the other side of this mound. It's like, that's all you know. On top of the mound? Yeah, so it would make sense, because she could have also gone up the mound. So I'm going to ready an action. Okay. When I know that, if I know within 10 feet of where she is, so either I can see Barry engage with her or identify the square she's in,
Starting point is 00:20:13 or if I can see her, I'm going to cast Glitter Dust. Okay. And it's good. When you're up, you can actually have line of sight over that mound if she is over there. It's so crazy thinking back to the actions that we had prepared when I listened back. You climbed up that mound, which is huge right now. Baron stayed in the
Starting point is 00:20:31 back of the party. But then at the last second he said, no, I come up next to Lork. And she was behind us. It's like all these little things. The reason why is because I felt awful for not immediately being like, I want to save Della! And I was like, I can't leave i care about these guys more than that i care about lork more than that i would be right up there
Starting point is 00:20:49 yeah you gotta get and it might be huge huge galabras uh i'm gonna begin casting summon monster two all right okay all right now we are talking we're talking and can i get even the fight with a move action can i I try to free myself? Uh, I forgot about that. Yeah. Oh, Della has to move.
Starting point is 00:21:10 Uh, all right. I take a five foot step and then I still, yeah, that way. Right. Uh, what did we say for that?
Starting point is 00:21:15 Yeah, I think it's a move action. Yeah. That's what you said before. Right. Yep. So you can attempt to break free. Okay.
Starting point is 00:21:23 I won't do it, but hell yeah, you will. 16. You. Okay. I won't do it, but... Hell yeah, you will. 16? You get out! All right! All right, and I'm going to move right next to Baron. Okay, so we're now at the door.
Starting point is 00:21:33 It's Lork, Baron, Galabras all in a straight line on one side of the mound. On the other side of the mound is Barry Connick Jr. And Della is just like preparing glitter dust from atop a mound on the other side of the room. Round two. I've got no patience for traitors. Maybe something happens.
Starting point is 00:21:52 You don't know. It is Lork and Barry Connick Jr.'s turn. Oh, so we notice nothing. Notice nothing. Barry Connick Jr. can notice her direction with a move action. Right. With how many feet? 30.
Starting point is 00:22:08 Doesn't sense her at all. Okay. And there's no tracks. No tracks. She also could have wild shaped while invisible, right? All right. So I'm going to try to push him to come to me. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:22:20 I missed it by one. 24 out of 25. So he stays there. So he's just going to kind of like keep looking around, like confused a little bit. Lork is going to hold his action. Okay. Baron. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:22:37 So I have no idea where this person is. The worst part about readying actions to the GM is that you're telling the enemy exactly what you plan to do. So we know she can wild shape into an eagle. Can you, when you're under the subject of an invisibility spell, can you wild shape? Yeah, as long as you don't do something offensive. So she could be in the sky. One last time. Yes.
Starting point is 00:23:03 Explain total defense to me total defense you take your actually that's a great idea but it but you can't then hold your action um total defense gives you plus four to ac it's a plus four dodge bonus i believe to ac i'm going to hunker down get my total defense ready and i say come at me E-wigs And I'm gonna look with the steely blue eyes of my dwarven eyes Into Lork and Galabras' eyes And let them know that this is on And we gotta hunker down and get out of here Della
Starting point is 00:23:42 Della's gonna cast Defensive Shock on herself Ooh, what is that all about? I'm going to read you the text because it's kind of fun Don't read it to him because he won't attack you Electrical energy floods your body shocking the next creature that touches you Any creature striking you
Starting point is 00:23:59 with its body or a handheld weapon takes 1d6 points of electricity damage per two caster levels If you have spell resistance, it applies against this damage so that's 2d6 for you 2d6 for me and it does it the first time it discharges it does both and then the second time it discharges it just does half of that that is a cool spell yeah nice what book is that do you know is it ultimate magic or something ultimate magic yeah that's cool all right what you should have said is, Troy, something happens. You don't know.
Starting point is 00:24:25 Don't worry about it. I actually wasn't even listening, so. Sorry, I was reading something. Took his headphones off. I was reading the news. No, Galabras, who began summoning a creature. Okay. So, in the air appear three celestial eagles.
Starting point is 00:24:46 Wow. We are leveling. Go, go, go. USA. Wow. USA. USA. Gary, Doug, and Gordon.
Starting point is 00:24:59 Gary, Doug, and Gordon. Oh, I remember Gary. Gary's an old friend. I remember Gary. Everybody remembers Gary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not to be confused with Gary the Gary's an old friend. I remember Gary. Everybody remembers Gary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not to be confused with Gary the Dolphin. All right.
Starting point is 00:25:08 Here, I'll let you place them anywhere you'd like in the room. I will use my D6s. And they are flying. The room is 60 feet high. How high would they like to fly? 70 feet. I can fly higher than an eagle. Wow.
Starting point is 00:25:24 He's just spreading them out throughout the whole. It's our patrol. It's all aerial. Our aerial support. Air superiority. Our cap. Yeah. Lurk's going to be the forward observer.
Starting point is 00:25:34 No, Barry. Barry's the forward observer. All right. Let's see where all of you. Doesn't Galabras still get that? Oh, yes. I'm sorry. And I'm going to cast.
Starting point is 00:25:41 we're all you doesn't go and we're still good yeah yes I'm sorry and I'm going to cast I'm going to use the one to do cure light wounds on Baron fucking man good call god damn it I love you oh max what is that
Starting point is 00:25:56 third you are a fucking lifesaver all right you have not acted this round is there anything you would like to do a fucking lifesaver. All right. Lork, you have not acted this round. Is there anything you would like to do? Gosh, I don't have any potions.
Starting point is 00:26:13 I don't. Yeah, no, I will not. I see you sticking your head in under the wand to try and steal Baron's healing. Yo, let me get a little of that shit on. I'm ready in action to deflect the wand to try and steal Baron's healing. Yo, let me get a little of that shit on. I'm ready in action to deflect the wand to me. Okay, so you're going to continue to hold. Yeah. Round.
Starting point is 00:26:31 Total defense? Yes, no? No, I don't want to move in the initiative order at this point. Round three. Galabras. Roll a will save. Roll the natural one. All of a sudden, Askroth's armor starts getting hot.
Starting point is 00:26:52 Oh no, it's so bad when it's the armor because you can't cut it off. It just starts boiling. And it is Lork's turn. I said I was going to respect you as a GM earlier. And I do still mean that. She has so greater invisibility? Well, this is my question. It's an attacking spell.
Starting point is 00:27:13 Right, but it was on an object. You're attacking. Right, okay. Well, that's what I was wondering. But here's the thing. Not all of you. No, you can make the call, but I just want to make sure you considered it. No, I absolutely considered it.
Starting point is 00:27:24 And it is not greater invisibility. Oh, by the way, I should have specified. The eagles were holding their action. If they see her, they will attack her. Right, right. Okay. Now, this is the issue. Not all of you are going to be able to see her when she appears. But the eagles will.
Starting point is 00:27:45 So you have to play as such. So we would see the eagles plunge. You would see the eagles plunge. You'd be able to do the math. So she appears on the other side of the room. As Matthew predicted, she did in royal shape. That is some range on that fucking spell you did, dude. Is she an eagle?
Starting point is 00:28:02 I love that spell. Yeah. It's a great spell I love that spell. Yeah. It's a great spell. Heat metal. Heat metal. And it does such good damage. Okay, so she does appear, and the eagles can swoop in to attack.
Starting point is 00:28:16 I just pictured these, if they have the range. I think eagles fly 80 feet. Yeah, 80 feet, so all three of them can... So they converge on her. They all get one attack. Is she currently an eagle?
Starting point is 00:28:26 She is not. She wild-shaped to get across the room, as you predicted. Invisible, and then came out of it. Miss. 18 to hit. Miss. 19 to hit. Miss.
Starting point is 00:28:43 19 was a miss? Yep. Oh, shit shit the eagles are surrounding a spellcaster all right Matthew just have Gormley
Starting point is 00:28:51 knock RAC down and we'll be good yeah oh man that was a me thing to say I love Della
Starting point is 00:29:01 I love Della talk to your GM this is the perfect situation for Gormley. This is where we miss Gormley the most. I could have flown. I had spells that could damage him hundreds of feet away. Hex the shit out of her.
Starting point is 00:29:13 Let's be honest, that animated Bramble would have constricted Gormley if Dragonfly didn't. She would have been flying up in the air instantly. By the way. Okay, so now the eagles move an initiative order to right before lork and lork i love to go armly you see uh you see yeah okay so i'm gonna act was this my turn anyway yeah it got back to my turn okay now it goes away we got eagles lork uh okay and barry lork is gonna give the attack command to barry and he is also going to attack when he sees the eagle swoop.
Starting point is 00:29:49 He still doesn't really know where she is, so he's just going to move 40 feet towards her as a double move. Barry's going to move 40 feet towards her, just kind of like sticking with Lork as close as possible. Okay, so you guys are double moving, essentially. Yeah, we're not going to get to her. She's all the way on the other side of the room. Don't even know where she is.
Starting point is 00:30:07 She's behind a mound, but we saw the eagles disappear all behind that mound, so Lork has reasons to suspect that's where she is. So he's double moving. Right. Okay. Very good. And it is now Baron's turn. Baron, you saw the eagle swoop.
Starting point is 00:30:21 You see Lork and Berry Clinic Jr. running over there. Baron, you saw the eagle swoop. You see Lork and Berry Clinic Jr. running over there. Baron realizes now, more than ever after Della saved his life, that he needs the help of his compatriots to be effective and to just survive this dungeon. So he is going to move 20 feet up. Galabras has already gone this round or is about to go. Galabras has not gone.
Starting point is 00:30:47 Okay. So he is going to move and shadow Galabras. And if Galabras moves 30 feet, he's going to double move. If he doesn't move 30 feet, he's just going to move. So he's holding his action to wait for what, see what Galabras does.
Starting point is 00:31:00 Yes. Della on top of old Smokey. What do you do? Glitter dust. Glitter dust. Okay. Yeah. Cause she's no, I mean, mean she's no longer invisible but you're going to try and blind her and make sure that if she wild shapes if she ever tries to go invisible again i mean it's probably i'm assuming it's a spell but still right i like it wait i i don't know because that would blind all the eagles oh all right okay you have seconds to think about this method.
Starting point is 00:31:25 Approximately six. Who is playing Della? Who is playing Della? Magic missile. And there's no... That's just automatically hits. That's it. Automatic. And how many of those do you get a day?
Starting point is 00:31:35 Because you're on the same day as last episode. Don't forget. It's a first level spell. Yeah. So how many of them? So infinite? No, I have five first level spells. And I've used one.
Starting point is 00:31:43 No, I've used two. I've used two magic missiles. Okay. And those just strike true from any range? Well, not any range. Well, not any range, but... 13 points of damage. Nice.
Starting point is 00:31:53 That's good. Roll spell resistance. If that has it. Hey, do we need a nerdage here? Have we done spell resistance before? I don't think we've ever... We need a nerd. It's fine.
Starting point is 00:32:03 I don't think... Have we done it? Not? I don't think we've done it. We need a nerd. We need a nerd. Have we done it? Not yet. Nerd. Skeet's got something explaining to do. It is time for nerd. You don't have any cackles anymore, I guess. Yeah, we don't have the cackles anymore.
Starting point is 00:32:21 That's that guy's kid. All right, exactly. Shout out to Lois Lowe. Double low, double low. In in the house double low seven uh spell resistance now we actually spell resistance i'll get it i'll take this one spell resistance is basically ac for powerful creatures against magic so if they have spell resistance that means you cast a spell even if it's a spell that always hits like magic missile, or if it's a spell that's like, oh, it gets a will save or a reflex save,
Starting point is 00:32:48 or it's burning hands or whatever the spells we usually cast. Someone that's very powerful gets spell resistance, which means you have to roll your die, add your caster level to it. Is it just your caster level? Caster level and your intelligence bonus. I think it's just your caster level. I think it's just a caster level check. So basically, the more powerful of a mage you are,
Starting point is 00:33:07 you can punch through the spell resistance of powerful creatures. But if you're a weaker spellcaster, it's harder to hit really powerful magic people. Matthew's going to roll a die to hit just like any other AC hit with a sword. Now, some spells bypass spell resistance.
Starting point is 00:33:23 Does this one say spell resistance, yes, or spell resistance? Yeah, no, nothing bypasses spell resistance. What it does is there are some spells that don't target a creature. It's just like they make everything in the area turn into brambles. You know what I mean? Right. That's not spell resistance. Like black tentacles.
Starting point is 00:33:37 Right, exactly what I was thinking. But if you're just targeting someone with magical attacks, it is, they get a save before the regular save they usually get. So it's tough. So this is plus five. Plus five. 21. Oh! They hit.
Starting point is 00:33:55 Yeah! Alright. How much damage was it? 13. 13. That's great. And most spell resistance is usually comparable to ACs. So it's like it's 18 or it? 13. 13. That's great. And most spell resistance is usually comparable to ACs. So it's like it's 18 or it's 17
Starting point is 00:34:07 it's usually in that area at this level goes up you know in later levels. Yep. And then can I say I'm fighting defensively for my move action
Starting point is 00:34:14 or is that not how that works? No I think that's a full round action. No it's a standard action for total defense. No fighting defensively is when you are
Starting point is 00:34:23 taking making an attack. Okay. Right. It's along with an attack. You can cast defensively is When you are making an attack Okay, right It's along with an attack You can cast defensively But you have to roll a concentration check Yeah, yeah, yeah DC 17 I think she'll be busy with those three eagles
Starting point is 00:34:34 Galabras Which I'm going to I'm going to move 30 And I'm going to cast Aid On Baron Ah, so you move 30, and I'm going to cast Aid on Baron. Ah, so you move 30 feet.
Starting point is 00:34:48 Baron follows along. Double move for Baron because he's a dwarf. Single move for Calabros. So Baron moves in initiative order, and he touches Baron for Aid. And Baron gets eight temporary hit points. Very cool. Very cool. And he gets plus one to, just to attack.
Starting point is 00:35:07 Right. Round foe. First things first. The metal surrounding Galabras, Askaroth's armor. This is brutal. Burns him for three points of damage. And, yeah, I would argue that would bypass DR but that's I don't have to be our anyway I thought your DR with oh cuz you're not that's only one
Starting point is 00:35:30 act right just mine okay so three points of heat just and you feel it getting hotter can you imagine just like you're wearing this heavy metal armor it just doesn't it just doesn't matter though it doesn't matter like you just have to survive it or die. It's going to take you five minutes to take that armor off. I know, I know. You know what I mean? I'm just freaking out.
Starting point is 00:35:52 Eagles! The eagles are coming! Just please kill this fucking woman before I die. For her move, she takes a five-foot step back and casts Obscuring Mist, filling the entire area with her and the eagles with a mist. Just... Guys can't see anything anymore. You guys just see smoke in the background, and it is the eagles' turn.
Starting point is 00:36:18 They're going to try to attack. Okay, so it's 20... Yeah, they all move. They all take five footsteps they all get three attacks yeah and they all have 20% missed chance yeah so let's log off for a bit we'll come back and roll you know what happens can they do grapple me well you just roll see if all roll and see if the hits because she's gonna be pretty hard hit anyways but any of the hits you were open so much about
Starting point is 00:36:44 it by the way if she has any damage resistance that's bypassed by good. Yeah. So what is the bonus to hit? Is it like plus two, plus three? Three. So 18 to hit? Miss.
Starting point is 00:36:57 Yeah, so 19 or lower is always a miss. Oh, critical threat. Oh, daddy, daddy. Daddy 20. 20 to confirm? Does not confirm. So fuck off. Max damage.
Starting point is 00:37:08 Max damage. But yeah, that's four damage. Okay. Roll for concealment now. Oh, right. Concealment. All right. So anything 21 or higher.
Starting point is 00:37:17 Yep. It made it. Okay. So you have to roll a 19 or 20 on the die. Yeah, that's crazy. All right. So that's the first. That's Gary. Possibly, so that's the first. That's Gary.
Starting point is 00:37:26 Possibly. Doug. This is Doug. 21 to hit. No. 21 hits? It's a miss. It's a miss.
Starting point is 00:37:36 I said 19 or 20 to possibly hit. So you have to roll a natural 20 to hit. And this is the third guy I can remember his name. Gordon. Gordon, yeah. Gordon Lightfoot. 21 to hit. Misses.
Starting point is 00:37:49 Misses. Misses. Okay. Eagles come in. Chua, chua, chua, chua, chua, chua. Joe just threw a pen at Matthew. I'm trying to help. Not sure what that was all about.
Starting point is 00:37:59 Okay. Now it is Galabras' toin. Oh, wait, no, I'm sorry. No, the eagles are in a different initiative order so it's Lork's turn Lork's turn Lork has no idea at this point
Starting point is 00:38:11 that she is impossible to hit so he's going to keep moving at her sure alright and he's still more
Starting point is 00:38:18 he's still a double move away so he's going to double move as is Barry Connick Jr. so move on. We're just keeping, we're running at the boss.
Starting point is 00:38:28 So you just keep moving, chugging along the room. Oh, this is so fun. Okay, Della. Della's going to cast Grease on the square where she last saw it. That will help with the AC. Interesting. I love that accent. Now you cast it just on the square where you last saw it. Here we go. That will help with the AC. Interesting. I love that accent. Now you cast it just on the square where you last saw her.
Starting point is 00:38:49 Well, it's a 10-foot radius. Or a 10-foot square. Right, and you've got the range to cast it. Yeah, I guess that's going to work. And what is it, a reflex save? For whatever reason, it's not telling me the DC. It should just be DC 14. This is a reflex save, right?
Starting point is 00:39:05 Well, what's your intelligence bonus? Plus three. Yes, so it's DC 14. DC 14. I mean, I rolled a 12 on the die. Okay. So she doesn't fall as far as you know. But that whole area is greased,
Starting point is 00:39:19 so mark it as such on the map so we all know what's sticky. The eagles fall from the sky. Grease. Okay. Greasing it up. Shades of Gormley with crowd control over there. Alright. Galabras. Talk to me.
Starting point is 00:39:36 Talk dirty to me. I'm gonna move up behind Lork. Okay. And give him a bit of luck. Move up behind Lork. Give him a bit of luck. Move up behind Lork. Give him a bit of luck. How many feet was that? 30.
Starting point is 00:39:51 All right, I'll move up on my own. Baron, you're up. I move 20 feet closer. And I can't... It's just a big mist hole. You can't target her, yeah. Okay. Round five.
Starting point is 00:40:06 Shitballs. Oh, standard action. Total defense. Okay. The armor of Uscroth gets blindingly searingly hot. And Galabros takes five points of damage. Getting worse. Sizzling, cooking him.
Starting point is 00:40:24 You guys smell burnt flesh from behind you. Yeah, so just to give you some perspective, I love that spell for you cast that on somebody's sword. Does the same thing. It's super hot.
Starting point is 00:40:33 They take damage if they keep holding it and you just watch them drop it. It's awesome. Okay. To move through grease, I've got to roll another reflex save. Yeah, just one time, yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:44 And if I make it, then I'm... Then you're free of're free of the grease free of the grease oh yeah uh 14 on the die actually I'm sorry no it is an acrobatics check I move through the grease okay well I rolled a 14 okay uh okay so she moves to no she's got to do it twice if she's moving in that direction here here yeah two acrobatics Now, if her acrobatics alone is like plus 10 or plus 12, you probably won't have to roll. And that's half speed when you walk through the grease.
Starting point is 00:41:10 Yeah. Correct. If you make the acrobatics. Is this going to be a standard action? I think it's DC 15, isn't it? The acrobatics?
Starting point is 00:41:16 It says DC 10 on my... Oh, yeah, DC 10. So it's pretty easy to beat. Same as before. She's going to stay in the grease and just take the five foot step. Okay. Okay, so she'll have to roll
Starting point is 00:41:24 another acrobatics check next round to try and get out of it. Baron. Does that incur an attack of opportunity from the eagles? Not for a five foot step. No, right. Baron, roll a fortitude save. Spell. Yes.
Starting point is 00:41:41 Nice. 23. Alright, you seem to be alright and it is the eagle's turn let the eagle soar okay so only a natural
Starting point is 00:41:52 20 hits so you should have named him glenn fry joe walsh and uh nope the actual eagle
Starting point is 00:41:57 actually oh yeah I'm sorry a 19 might be a 22 so we'll check that alright uh gary misses on his doug uh come on doug d alright Gary misses on his Doug come on Doug
Starting point is 00:42:07 Doug E misses on his three get a 20 bro and Gordon misses on his three let it be known even though the Eagles aren't doing damage it complicated things
Starting point is 00:42:17 oh no 100% it makes her she's tight yeah pins her in okay ah ah ah I was clawing and biting at her feathers everywhere so what is that three rounds for them two rounds for them they have five rounds of life third round okay Yeah, pins are in. Okay. Ah, ah, ah! I was clawing and biting at her.
Starting point is 00:42:25 Feathers everywhere. So is that three rounds for them? Two rounds for them? They have five rounds of life, right? This is their third round. Okay. So two more rounds. No, one more round.
Starting point is 00:42:34 Oh, because you're a fourth level cleric. You and your fight are bullshit! No! Lork, you're up. This is a very strange situation. He's running into, he's in a mist now. He's in a fog. He starts to move forward.
Starting point is 00:42:52 What he sees is an eagle at eye level and, and grease on the ground. Or you could, yeah. It's an easy acrobatics check to get in there. Yeah, but there's an eagle on the space. So it's like. It's flying up high. It's flying, it's above you. Well, it's attacking her in melee. I mean, how do you want to handle it?
Starting point is 00:43:03 Can he go under the eagle? Uh, yeah, I don't see why not. You're going to have to walk through grease. But yeah, the eagle's above you. Well, it's attacking her in melee. I mean, how do you want to handle it? Can he go under the eagle? Yeah, I don't see why not. You're going to have to walk through grease. But yeah, the eagle is above her. You know what? God. I just, I can't, I have a hard time seeing him doing it. He's looking down at like a puddle of grease and he still can't see her.
Starting point is 00:43:18 Right. Why is he going to walk into a puddle of grease? He can't see her. He doesn't know she's, I guess he can't. You also don't even know there's grease there. I think. Well, you can see grease. Yeah, I guess.
Starting point is 00:43:27 If you want to make me do a perception check to see it or not... All right, I'm going to try to step carefully into the grease. DC10 acrobatics check. I have a minus one. So, Lork is going to try to move carefully into the grease and fails. So he fucking falls. So Lork wipes out on that first step. So Lork is now laying prone
Starting point is 00:43:46 In front of Iwika Right in front of her But at least now that you're five feet away You can see her Yeah I can see her This bitch Oh sorry I didn't mean that
Starting point is 00:43:56 I'm sorry Barry Barry Connick Jr. Barry is following along But he Lork fell in front of him Boom And he's got nowhere to go
Starting point is 00:44:04 Okay You can go Those eagles are in the of him. Boom! And he's got nowhere to go. Okay. You can go, those eagles are in the air, so he can go underneath them if he wants to. Well, Lork is right there, and this is actually a hill right to her left. Oh, I, okay. Yeah, it's like a whole hill to her left. So she's squeezed into a tiny five-foot spot between the wall of the room and a 50-foot mound. And Lork just fell right in front of her in this tiny little alley.
Starting point is 00:44:24 That mound is taller? Yes. It's 50 feet up. 50 feet up. And Barry is right behind Lork just fell right in front of her in this tiny little alley. That mound is taller? Yes. It's 50 feet up. 50 feet up, and Barry is right behind Lork. Lipscuring mist? I didn't cast it. No, but do you have dispel or counterspell? No, probably not. It's a third level spell.
Starting point is 00:44:37 Just checking. All right. Lork, as you wipe out to the ground, you can see through the mist that Iwiga doesn't look like Iwiga looked before. Iwiga looks like this. Oh!
Starting point is 00:44:51 She looks like a humpbacked hag. With glowing red eyes. Check out the Tumblr for that amazing artwork. That's great. She's got like glowing green hag with like bones in her hair. And she's got a humpback on her back
Starting point is 00:45:08 that looks like a mountain range. And she is standing right above Lork. It looks like she has prehensile feet too. She's gross. Super gross. Troy doesn't know what prehensile means. That's what Nightcrawler has in the X-Men. I know what prehensile is.
Starting point is 00:45:24 I'll kill you so fast Yeah Alright You actually might Della Della Reese Can I attempt to If I run
Starting point is 00:45:35 Can I attempt to make An acrobatics check To jump from mound to mound Or is that Yeah That's fun Sure We'll make it a DC-12
Starting point is 00:45:43 Acrobatics check Okay So basically I want to get to the edge. I want to get as far as I can up onto the treasure mound. Ah, okay. Well, remember, you're going to move at half speed. Yeah, so I jump across. Make it across if you can DC 12.
Starting point is 00:45:58 If not, you will fall 30 feet. Oh, I like this, Stella. Come on, buddy. This is bold. Oh, boy. When, Della. Come on, buddy. This is bold. Oh, boy. When Matthew's nervous, he drops die. 18. 18, you just...
Starting point is 00:46:12 You guys see Della just... Boom. Does a front flip. Yeah, front flip. Lands on the next one. Dervish stands. Scimitar out. Not flaming right now.
Starting point is 00:46:20 Now, what's your movement speed? 30 feet, I see. 30 feet. Yeah, I mean, that would be your round. Well, I want's it with a double move that's as far as i can get yeah oh no not as far you can get to the edge all right great don't move okay as far as i can okay dokay and it is now galabras's turn guys don't seem as nervous as you did before oh no we're just resigned to our fate yeah there's a big there's a difference it's you stop being nervous and you start being cold and calculating once you know.
Starting point is 00:46:47 It's like there's no way out. I'm going to move up next to Lork. Give him a bit of luck. Yeah, I'm sorry I blew that last one. Love it. Next to Lork, bit of luck again. Baron. Baron is all alone in the back of the room.
Starting point is 00:47:01 Baron's going to double move up into the mound that Della is on and be behind her. There's got to be double because it's 30 feet up. Yep. Okay, so right there. Yep. That should get you right to there. We're all crowding into the back of the room around this amazing treasure chest. I know.
Starting point is 00:47:18 I want to see what's in it. Round six. The armor continues to burn. Five points of heat damage just boiling alive. Calabras! We hardly knew ye. Actually, we knew you very well. We didn't ever hear that great backstory, though.
Starting point is 00:47:35 Yeah. We got to hear that. Hopefully it'll come out as a director's cut. Okay. Lork. Well, let me, I got to roll my acrobatics check unless I want to. Oh man, this die is amazing.
Starting point is 00:47:52 So she gets out of the grease and Lork, roll a fortitude save. All right, come on, Lork, don't die, please. Come on, buddy. This is my best. Roll twice. Oh yeah, good call Thank God
Starting point is 00:48:06 Thank God for that Uh, 17 17 Rolled a 3 and a 10 And my 3 was the one I rolled before you said bit of luck You made it Yeah Oh, man
Starting point is 00:48:20 I love you so much Wow Skid Wow Okay That was a killer move That was killer I love you so much. Wow. Skid. Wow! Okay. That was a killer move. That was killer. Skid was key.
Starting point is 00:48:30 It is now Lork's turn. Praise Desna. Lork, you are on the ground, surrounded by eagles, covered in grease. It's like the scene of a sad oil spill. I am certain that is the first time that sentence has ever been spoken
Starting point is 00:48:43 in the history of the English language. Yeah, I mean, that's why you need that. What is it? The D&D out of context? Like, that's the perfect example. It's really a huge shame that Skid can't N.A. Chuck into Apache Chief and do a public service announcement as a Native American against oil spills. That's right. One tear rolling down my cheek.
Starting point is 00:49:05 Okay. What you going to do, Lork and Barry Connick Jr.? I mean, I want to get up. I'm actually trying to read the grease spell to see how it works. I think I can get up for free. There's nothing in the spell about getting up. I think it's moving out of it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:24 Yeah, standing up is a... Oh, yeah, yeah you know you get to read grease yeah well i have bit of luck though i had never rolled bit of luck on the acrobatics check that was stupid i thought it was just attack rolls oh yeah i'm sorry about that point i didn't think of it either all right um i don't see anything if anybody else sees anything let, let me know. I'll write a fucking We Are Stupid. I'm getting up for free, and then I'm moving out. Moving out! You're gonna try to move out. I'm gonna move one space.
Starting point is 00:49:51 Let's see. Acrobatics check. Natty 20 and a 4. Yeah! So you move forward through the grease. Yes, one space to adjacent to her. You are five feet away from this vicious hag. Yeah, and I swing my falchion.
Starting point is 00:50:08 Here we go. Roll twice. Come on, baby. Natty 19! Yeah! Critical threat with the foul. Critical threat. Roll twice to confirm.
Starting point is 00:50:19 Oh my god, I rolled twice to confirm! Wow. This is awesome. Very huge Alright come on Come on Come on buddy Bitch Here we go Oh my god
Starting point is 00:50:32 I rolled two 18s That is a Confirmed Confirmed crit Confirmed crit Falchion Oh shit I want a bunch of balls
Starting point is 00:50:44 Wide open Normal damage And provokes Attack of opportunities do-do-do-do oh shit I want a bunch of balls wide open normal damage and provokes attack of opportunities from all threatening opponents oh there's none the eagle
Starting point is 00:50:53 the eagle there's one eagle threatening natural 20 still uh no damn it
Starting point is 00:50:59 damn no roll the damage how about a little bonus damage come on 1d6 nah alright you fuck alright uh Damn. Mel, roll the damage. How about a little bonus damage? Come on. 1d6. Nah. All right. All right.
Starting point is 00:51:10 17 points of damage. Whoa. Big old blow. Okay. Then it is going to be Barry Connick Jr.'s turn. Ladies and gentlemen. right yeah I mean he's not gonna do any anything else other than move oh shit I didn't roll concealment ah yes you need to roll within five feet feet? Yep. If you're not within five
Starting point is 00:51:46 feet, you can't roll. Shit! Sorry, I lost the die here. I got it. 40. Okay. So at least that crit hit. Barry is going to, I think he's a little bit less intelligent, so he's going to move right into the grease. He'll do his natural acrobatics and he makes it, so he doesn't fall, but he's right behind
Starting point is 00:52:04 Lork. Okay, so tentatively, tentatively, Barry goes through the grease And I'm sorry, please give your guy two hit points back I'm sorry, four hit points back Because that was, that damage is wrong Okay I was basing it on the rage from before I appreciate that Okay, it is now Della's turn
Starting point is 00:52:23 Della courageously jumped from mound to mound. All right, so tell me how this is going to work. I basically want to run up and get into the square beside her. I can go on the ground underneath the eagles, or is that part of the mound with the treasure chest? These two mounds, according to your map, touch, but one's 20 feet higher, so can she just clamber up it without an acrobatics check?
Starting point is 00:52:45 Do you want to get on the mound above her? I want to be on the side near her, and I want to swing into the square next to her and just start hacking at her. This square here is going to be bad. Or underneath the eagle. Just make up something. Yeah, you can get into that square, but you're going to take a minus 2 to your AC.
Starting point is 00:53:03 Yeah, because it's squeezing. Can I get into the one underneath the eagle? That's on the mound. And it's not greased, really. So these eagles are flying above them. That square you're talking about is a mound. So can I get there with a move?
Starting point is 00:53:18 Or would I have to double move? Well, let's see. You're going to move 20 feet up and over. It would probably be a double move to even get to that spot. On that mound. Looking down at her. And how can I? Are you going to jump across again?
Starting point is 00:53:33 There's no jump on the map. You can say it's a jump. That's fine. I see what you're saying. Yeah. The mounds are basically connected. So now it's another 20 feet. It's just another 20 feet up.
Starting point is 00:53:41 20 feet up. Got to clamber up. Five feet across. Actually, if you can move 25 feet. But couldn't she just, wouldn't she not have to climb if she just skirted along the side of the mound at the same altitude? Yeah, I could say that. So that's what I want. With a move action or a double move?
Starting point is 00:53:54 You tell me. That's fine. One move action. How can you move 40 feet? Or 30 feet? 30 feet, yeah. 30 feet? Sure.
Starting point is 00:54:01 Great. As I'm going, as a swift action, I'm going to light my old scimitar on fire. Son of a gun. And I'm going to get there and I'm going to roll. And do, add a plus one to your roll. I think she'd get a plus one. Because you are on higher ground. Because you're on higher ground than her. Is that just for ranged attacks or is that for roll? No. Okay. It's just for melee.
Starting point is 00:54:17 Actually, it's for both attacks. Because for example, from horseback, you get a plus one. So like, you're basically at horse height on a side of a mound swinging down at her. That makes sense. Alright, I'll allow it. Flaming scimitar. Come on! Dervish dance. Hit this crazy green
Starting point is 00:54:34 hag. Oh, Matthew, you're the worst. Spoiler alert, I looked at the die. It missed. Thirteen. Thirteen missed. Galabras.rous well let me roll the concealment
Starting point is 00:54:48 doesn't matter doesn't matter miss it yeah zero what does it matter zoom
Starting point is 00:54:53 uh i'm gonna climb up behind um della and give her a bit of luck
Starting point is 00:54:59 ah see that's where it needs to go love this guy and it is baron's turn.
Starting point is 00:55:05 Baron's going to move 20 feet closer to just try to get within striking distance of her next round. Okay, so Baron is clambering around the hill. Round seven. I can double move. It's easier. The eagle's disappeared. There's a lot of space for him to go.
Starting point is 00:55:28 There's not a lot of room for Baron to get there. Presumably he would have to take the same route. How big is the treasure chest? Is it comically large or is it like a small treasure chest? It's more than five feet. Tall. Oh, tall? No, it's about three feet off the ground.
Starting point is 00:55:43 You can stand on the treasure chest. That's what I you can stand right... Stand me on that treasure chest. You can stand on the treasure chest. Oh, that's what I've always wanted. So Baron is standing on the treasure chest. Yeah. Okay, round seven. Galabras, your metal continues to heat. You take another four points of damage.
Starting point is 00:56:01 You are searing. Is this doing any effective damage, like these little chunks, four or five? I mean, Galabras isn't obviously... I wasn't injured coming in. Yeah, that helped. That helped big time. Okay. And then... And then...
Starting point is 00:56:19 Now that we've all grouped together. Fireball. What do we want to do here? Oh, wow. Everybody's in the room. The eagles have disappeared. Glenn Frey, Joe Walsh, and the other guy.
Starting point is 00:56:33 R.I.P., by the way. Joe Walsh died? No, I'm kidding. Okay, what should we do? What should we do? I've got two options. She goes invisible. Is that a spell? We should have glitter glistered. It is a at-will
Starting point is 00:56:52 ability. Doesn't matter. If it works like the spell ability. Like the spell invisibility. Right. So she will take a five-foot step and go invisible. She goes invisible. This hag. Sounds like a great move for She goes invisible This hag Sounds like a great move for
Starting point is 00:57:07 Mary and Barry No Barry Connick Jr. True true It is Lork and Barry Connick Jr.'s turn Let Barry Sniff her out Okay so I mean she just took us one step away from Lork
Starting point is 00:57:26 And got out of his reach Basically, she was within his reach for an attack of opportunity But you had a mound there It's very tight I see what you're saying And maybe she had a little cover So, can't take an attack of opportunity Fine by me
Starting point is 00:57:42 I want to step right into that little gap. Not where she went, but one step near it in the corner. And just swing. And just swing. Yeah. Hoping she's still there. 50% mischance. Go for it.
Starting point is 00:57:55 All right. So he steps in, takes a swing. 23 to hit. Now roll 50% mischance. 50% mischance missed on the concealment. Okay. You swing away. Not quite sure what happened.
Starting point is 00:58:13 Barry Connick Jr. He senses that she is still back there somewhere. Yeah. He'll take another step in the grease and... Damn it. Why did it have to be a medium roll? Acrobatics plus zero, 11. So that's a fall, right?
Starting point is 00:58:29 That is a fall. I think it was DC 15. No, it's DC 10. DC 10. Okay, rolled an 11. He makes his way through. Nice. All right, Della.
Starting point is 00:58:39 Della's going to shout, eyes, and cast Glitter Dust. Oh, Della! Okay. Right down in front of Lorkmaster. Yep. Alright. I'm sure you guys worked out that DC 15 will soon.
Starting point is 00:58:51 We have five hours of picking power. Also, I cast it in their presence before, so it would stand to reason that they would ask. That's true. It's up to you. Always up to you. Yeah, we'll allow it this time. Cool. I don't think that's how the spell works. It's true. That's true. It's up to you. Yeah. Always up to you. Yeah. We'll allow it this time.
Starting point is 00:59:07 Cool. I don't think that's how the spell works. It's magic. I don't think you can just close your eyes, but let's go with it. Everything I read was like, take glitter dust and make sure your party knows when you're casting it. I mean, it makes sense. She passes, so she's not blind. But sure enough, she is outlined. Right in the square where Lork swung?
Starting point is 00:59:27 No, she's trying to squeeze through. Oh, okay, so she got it. And if you notice, I replaced her pawn with a hag. Oh, yeah. Very clever. So even if he got the concealment, he still would have missed, because she wasn't in the square. Good to know.
Starting point is 00:59:40 Glitter dust. Glitter dust to the rescue again. And now it is Galabras' turn Unless Della is moving I will take a five foot step What does that mean? You're on a very steep slope I'll move into the square next to me so I'm in melee with her
Starting point is 00:59:57 Oh you're going to move there So that provokes if she wants to swing Okay She will attempt to claw. 27. Yeah, actually. Oh, my God. Holy crap.
Starting point is 01:00:11 Roll a fortitude save. Oh, my God. That was stupid if I ever did. 16. You take nine points of damage, and you're all right with a 16. I'm very stressed out. The skin of your translucent skin. All right, go, Everest.
Starting point is 01:00:29 I move up and give Biddle Luck to Baron. Mr. Biddle Luck. Those are going to be running low soon, too, guys. You all know this. Make them count. Baron. Can I target her now or no? With Glitter Dust and Obscuring Mist, I know it's...
Starting point is 01:00:44 There's still Obscuring... Oh, you know what? She has to roll Concealment for that. Everything is going to be Concealment. You need... You can't target her with a ranged spell if she has Concealment. Unless I move five feet towards her and right next to her where I know where she is, right? You're on a hill, so you're 50 feet up.
Starting point is 01:00:57 Oh, motherfucker. Yeah. You've got... Where can I move... Can I move anywhere in which I can target her on this... 89 on the Concealment concealment I mean that's such a Fucking It's obscuring mist
Starting point is 01:01:10 Tell me how you can shoot Into a cloud of obscuring mist And hit her You can shoot Into the five foot square You know she's in You know where she is You can see
Starting point is 01:01:20 It's this glittering dust I thought you couldn't Shoot into some Space where someone Has concealment Am I wrong on that? You can always shoot in a square you think they're in
Starting point is 01:01:30 at a 50% concealment. Okay. But she's visible and, oh yeah, so it's 50%. Because if you're more than five feet away, it's 50%. She's also coated in glittering dust. Like, I don't know. Right. But I mean, the mist is the mist. Yeah, it doesn't matter. So it's 50% don't know. Right, but the mist is the mist.
Starting point is 01:01:46 Yeah, it doesn't matter. So it's 50% mist chance. Sure, but you're 50 feet up. So that's two range increments, so that's minus four against regular AC, and that's it. Okay, try it. And thank you.
Starting point is 01:02:00 Oh, and then minus four because she's in melee with Della. Minus eight to hit and 50% mist chance. This is going to cause me to misfire. I know it. Yeah. Yeah. You can't because you got the bit of luck. Yeah, you have to roll. So this is minus eight. Minus eight. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:15 You just need to roll on Natty 20. Roll it. I'm going to rapid shot. Yeah, do it. Of course. My last. It's mathematically a better move. Of course it is. With a bit of luck always. My last two fire bullets. Okay.
Starting point is 01:02:30 Oh. That's a 10, not a 20. I need to roll that. So that is a minus eight. That is a 19 to hit against regular AC. Miss. Second attack. Nope.
Starting point is 01:02:45 No, that is a 20 against regular AC. Miss. She's brutal. Brutal. She is. I'm swift action reload regular bullets out of fire bullets.
Starting point is 01:03:01 Okay. I'm good. I'm glad you got to do something instead of me stifling you. Round eight. Galabras takes four points of more heating metal damage. And you realize at this point...
Starting point is 01:03:14 God, that's gonna be so uncomfortable. No, I'm literally cooking alive in such strong armor. It stinks. It stinks over there. Okay.
Starting point is 01:03:23 She is caught between a rock and a hard place. She's covered in glitter dust. You guys have definitely made your presence known. She is going to make two claw attacks at Gormley. First attack. No, she's not.
Starting point is 01:03:35 I'm not Gormley, I'm sorry. I look at you and I see Gormley. You're just like opening the wound and pouring salt in it. I'm sorry. What are you doing? 29 to hit. Yep. This is a really powerful melee end caster character.
Starting point is 01:03:48 Yeah, seriously. You take eight points of damage and roll a fortitude save. This is her first attack. I made it. 17 on the deck. Second attack, 20-something. Okay. No, excuse me, 33.
Starting point is 01:04:05 What? Oh, well, in that case. You take another eight points of damage and roll another Fortitude save. All right. I think Lork is going to range with this shit. Eight. No.
Starting point is 01:04:20 You feel unnaturally weak after that second claw hits and you lose two points of strength. Two points of strength damage. That was coming straight at Lork until Della snuck in there. All right. It is now Lork's turn. Lork, Della jumped right in front of you.
Starting point is 01:04:40 This young woman, another child under your charge, perhaps. Who knows how this relationship is going to work out. She just jumped in front of you to protect you. What do you do? Lork is going to he can't get to her. So Lork is going to hold his action, but he's going to say
Starting point is 01:05:01 to Della, dispel this grace! And he's going to say to Della, Dispel this grease! And he's going to move around the other side, but he doesn't want to risk it if he doesn't have to. So he's going to ready an action. If she dispels the grease, he's going to double move around to try to flank
Starting point is 01:05:17 the enemy on the other side. If she can't dispel the grease, which is totally fine if you feel you can't, then he's not going to act this round. Okay. Because he can't get to her. Like, Del is between him and the target. What does dispelling the grease take?
Starting point is 01:05:33 Standard action. Standard action? Yeah. So you don't have to do it, but that's what Lork is doing. I'm just saying. Actually, I mean, he can't do anything. He can't get to her. Sure, sure.
Starting point is 01:05:43 What about Barry Connick Jr.? The same. He says, Just tell us this. Della, dispel that grease. Skibbity boop. Hey.
Starting point is 01:05:55 Skibbity doop doop da. I'll get you a Cosmo. I didn't roll. I should roll her concealment. She made it. I mean, she has this thing called blind fight which makes it almost impossible
Starting point is 01:06:06 for her to miss in concealment because she gets to re-roll if she fails a concealment yeah yeah yeah that's a feat that I actually thought about having
Starting point is 01:06:14 Barry Connick Jr. take considering all the recent blindness sure sure oh yeah as an animal you can take blind fight which is
Starting point is 01:06:23 you know it makes sense animals are very ferocious and they can smell and like... Alright, it is Della's turn. Matthew, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? Della.
Starting point is 01:06:37 He's gonna... Try to grapple the hag? Sure, okay. I assume at this point you're looking up the rules for casting Cure Light Wounds on Lork? try to grapple the hag? Sure. Okay, roll a few. I assume at this point you're looking up the rules for casting Cure Light Wounds on Lork. Are you badly hurt? I'm ready. Yes, I'm pretty hurt.
Starting point is 01:06:57 All right, talk to me, Della. What are you doing? What are you doing? What? Della is going to cast Shocking Grasp on her scimitar. Okay. So I'm going to roll Shocking Grasp on her scimitar. Okay. So I'm going to roll a concentration check. I think this is the coolest, coolest thing about the mages,
Starting point is 01:07:12 is you channel a spell through your blade. I just think it's so cool. That doesn't provoke, does it? You know, I don't know. I really don't. Because it's spell combat. No, I think it might. I think spell combat, I think, gives you a bonus to the concentration check to cast it.
Starting point is 01:07:28 I think you get a bonus like combat casting. I have combat casting as well. Oh, so you get a plus four to the concentration check. So it's five plus your intelligence modifier plus four. And you're going to get 15 plus double the spell level. Yeah, I have the rating. But it still provokes. It provokes regardless?
Starting point is 01:07:46 Because you're casting a spell. I mean, you're casting a spell. Whenever you're casting a spell, it provokes. No, if you're casting defensively, like it's 15 plus... Double the spell level. Right, then you can... If you succeed, then you do not...
Starting point is 01:07:59 No, 100%. But what he's saying is he doesn't think he has to roll at all. No, I definitely have to roll a concentration check. Oh, okay. If you fail that, you provoke. Or you lose the spell. I think you just lose the spell.
Starting point is 01:08:10 If he passes, he does not provoke. 100%. That's what concentration? Yeah, but if he fails. He loses the spell. If he fails, he provokes an attack of opportunity in casting the spell. He then has to roll a concentration check of, I think it's 10 plus the damage dealt. And if he gets through that, he doesn't lose the spell.
Starting point is 01:08:33 I mean, I think that. This will be a fun article. Yeah, exactly. All right, so roll the concentration. We'll play it through this way. But you get a bonus to it as a mage. So you get a bonus to melee combat casting. I have combat, yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:43 I have combat casting. Right. Natural one. Fuck me. Oh, no. a major so you get a bonus to melee combat casting so I have come again like comic casting so natural one she whips her hand out at you and to claw you 24 to hit yep roll a fortitude save how much damage nine points of Jesus so it's just now I don't know that this is in the rules, but I think you should allow him to roll a DC 19 to still cast the spell.
Starting point is 01:09:12 I passed the fortune save. What'd you get? 21. Okay, you're good. No more strength damage. And now what is the question? Now, is he going to lose the spell? Yeah, is he going to lose the spell?
Starting point is 01:09:22 I think he should be able to power through it. Yeah, yeah. Unless he loses the spell think he should be able to power through it. Yeah, yeah. Unless he loses the spell, he should be able to still cast it. Like, he took the attack of opportunity. If he can... He didn't, yeah. So I think he should be able to roll a combat concentration check. If it's over DC 19 now, I think he should be able to cast the spell.
Starting point is 01:09:41 13. Yeah, he failed anyway. So he lost the spell, but you can still attack. All right. Just a regular swing. Regular swing. Change failed anyway. So he lost the spell, but you can still attack. Alright. Just a regular swing. Regular swing. Change my die. But he lost the spell for the day. That's huge! That's what I'm saying. Give him a second roll. No, I hear you. I just don't know what the actual rules are.
Starting point is 01:09:54 The rules are very complicated. Flaming Scimitar. Flaming Sim. Natural 1. Oh no! 3 in this combat. Oh no! And 2 in a row, by the way. Oh my lord. If you strike yourself in this combat. Oh no! And two in a row, by the way. Oh my lord. If you strike yourself with this, it could be it.
Starting point is 01:10:10 Matthew's fear. I've never seen Matthew angry. You eat dirt. You fall prone and are blinded for 1d3 rounds. Oh my god! Fortitude negates. What was the attack roll? It's gotta be the attack roll. Yeah, the DC is the...
Starting point is 01:10:26 Last time it was... It's a totally different thing from... Last time the DC was the confirmation roll for critting. So on a fumble... Roll it. I'll tell you if you're blind. Four to two. Yeah, eight.
Starting point is 01:10:41 You're blind. Four. One D3. For two rounds. You're blind for two. One D3. For two rounds. You're blind for two rounds. Are you on the ground, too? And prone. Blind and prone.
Starting point is 01:10:51 Blind for two rounds. Minus four to AC. Me. Wow. I thought the tide was turning. Now you are laying on the ground. Hold on a second. Listening.
Starting point is 01:11:02 Her attack of opportunity. Oh, no. Sorry. I forgot you said she has blind fight so it's she does not have to roll concealment within the mist. The boss. Yeah. Oh my god. I mean she does but she's gonna make it.
Starting point is 01:11:15 I'm rolling twice. No you gotta roll twice. Yeah if I fail she gets a free re-roll. That's what blind fight is. Pretty cool feat. Galabras. I'm saying you have to roll it right now like you did not point to damage to him hit it right okay uh 86 okay so yeah um i am going to cast command uh let's give it a shot and say fall and you don't have to have line of sight, right? No. You can just... Okay.
Starting point is 01:11:46 What is that, a will save? Yep, DC 14 will save. It would be great if one of us had a bottle cap to give him, but considering the economy is so scarce. It is an automatic pass for her. So just boom, command. And you still see her standing there you can kind of make out in the mist 10 feet away
Starting point is 01:12:08 the green hag Baron old Baron same thing 50% sure minus well I guess if he's laying on the ground if Della's laying on the ground she's no longer in melee combat
Starting point is 01:12:23 so you don't get the minus 4 you just get the minus four. You just get the minus four for the increment. But it's minus three. Plus one for the... Right, so minus three to your roll. That is a nine to hit. He looks so excited. Yeah!
Starting point is 01:12:41 Ooh, so that is a 17 to hit. That is a miss. Let me roll concealment. No, stop it. Round nine. God, she is. Galabras keeps cooking. Five points of damage.
Starting point is 01:12:57 Oscross armor could be forever bound. She squeezes through one space, squeezes through another, and begins walking around. And you guys know, maybe you don't know at home, for anyone to get to her, you're going to have to walk through two grease spaces. But she walks over to there.
Starting point is 01:13:22 She's no longer in the mist, though. Yeah, she's out. She's out. She is longer in the mist, though. Yeah, she's out. She's out. She is out of the mist. Okay. Let me see what we're going to do. For the record, I just rolled just for the hell of it.
Starting point is 01:13:33 If Shocking Grasp would have worked and I had actually hit her, that would have been 27 points of damage. Oh, Jesus. That would have been bad news for her. Troy is such a hateful, hateful person. So she double moves out of the room, and that is what she's going to do.
Starting point is 01:13:51 Not out of the room, excuse me, out of that shitty back of the room. Baron is standing on top of the treasure chest with Galabras next to him, and Barry Connick Jr. is in the grease, but not fallen, Lork in front of him and Della laying on the ground blind. And it is now
Starting point is 01:14:10 Lork's turn. If you hold on. Dismiss the grease! He says again and then holds. And it's Barry Connick Jr. is going to hold. Yes. And Della's turn. Della dismisses the grease and then tries to stand up. And doesn't stand up. And Lork will immediately
Starting point is 01:14:25 act okay yeah he double moves he's trying to track her so he's running parallel along the room on the other side of the mounds while she is
Starting point is 01:14:34 yeah he Lork just got out of the mist too but she's on the other side of a mound oh you just want to you want to get to the door maybe who knows how long does glitter dust last
Starting point is 01:14:43 a while okay minutes per level I would imagine one round The door, maybe. Who knows? How long does Glitter Dust last? A while. Okay. Minutes per level, I would imagine. One round per level. Oh, God. Five rounds. Five rounds. Right, so there's two rounds left.
Starting point is 01:14:54 Okay, I think that's good. That's good compromise. So there's, yeah. And that doesn't include this round. Two more rounds. Okay, it is Galabras' turn. I'm going to move as far as I can towards her, and I'm going to cast as far as I can towards her, and I'm going to cast Summon Monster 1.
Starting point is 01:15:08 Okay, so Galabras moves down as much as he can to the bottom of the hill. He was there, and he casts Summon, begins casting Summon Monster 1. Baron, you are standing on top of a church. Baron's going to move 20 feet towards the lower mound, I guess, hop down. I can jump off of there and do an acrobatics check,
Starting point is 01:15:27 I'm sure, to move 10, 15 feet. Is that really a double move? What do you want to do? You want to double move? I want to move 10 feet towards the edge and jump down 20 feet. It's 50 feet. Oh, 50 feet.
Starting point is 01:15:39 Yeah, that last mound is 50 feet tall. All right, so I'll still be 10 feet off the ground from there. Okay, so Baron starts moving down, and it is round nine. She continues double moving along the wall. So she is now pretty much on the other side of the room, and it is Della's turn. Still blind, but you are now standing up, right?
Starting point is 01:16:00 You stood up last round. You are in the far, far back of the room. So can I just move, based on where the mound is, can I assume that I can move along the wall? Yeah. I'll double move. Yeah, just feeling your way along the wall. You've got to make an acrobatics check
Starting point is 01:16:15 to move more than half your speed. Oh, right. Because you're blind. 23. You did it. Move 60. But you're blindly moving, just moving along the wall. Yeah, she got the wall, though. So she can just hold her hand along the wall. Okay, so you're just feeling the wall. Move it it. Move 60. But you're blindly moving, just moving along the wall. Yeah, she got the wall, though.
Starting point is 01:16:26 So she can't hold her hand along the wall. Move it along. Okay. Lork. Lork is going to clamber up the mound right in front of him that's kind of in the center
Starting point is 01:16:36 of the room. And he's going to quick draw his bow. Ah, okay. And he's going to wait for her to kind of pop out somewhere. And then he's going to fire. Barry Connick Jr. He follows Lurk up the hill.
Starting point is 01:16:49 Okay. And it is Galabras' turn. You have summoned a creature. 35 feet away, I'm going to summon a celestial dog. Oh, nice. What is this little critter's name? Laddie. What breed?
Starting point is 01:17:07 He is a German Shepherd. Purebred? No, he's a Border Collie. Purebred or Shelter? He's three quarters Border Collie and quarter German Shepherd. Okay. So Shelter. Shelter.
Starting point is 01:17:21 I was going to say, you still haven't answered the question. And he's a rescue. Oh, that's so much better. So. Because you know all dogs go to heaven. He also is going to have immunity to disease. Yeah. Perfect. And he's going to move as fast as he can towards this lovely young lady. Right, a dog?
Starting point is 01:17:43 It doesn't even link to it in the thing. They're fast. Yeah, they're pretty fast. Okay, and now Galabras gets an inch. And I'm going to double move towards her. Okay. Baron. Baron's going to get down the last 10 feet
Starting point is 01:17:56 and move another 30 feet. Okay. Round 10. We are chasing this woman, this thing, to the back of the room. She starts to the back, she goes to the other end. She then... I love it, I honestly, I love it. Galabros takes seven points of damage,
Starting point is 01:18:12 the highest... Oh, shit. The metal just... Burnt flesh. And this is the last round of Glitter Dust. Also, Nadella's no longer blinded. And Nadella's no longer blinded. See, everybody wins.
Starting point is 01:18:24 Now, Iwiga is now on the other side of the room, 15 feet away from a celestial duke. What does she want to do? If she casts Invisibility on herself one more time, I'm going to slit your throat in your sleep. No, I won't. I won't. Is this the last round of glitter dust or it's
Starting point is 01:18:46 You said what I say two more more rounds after that last so this is the last round so this is the last round But it does will disappear at the end of Della's turn Okay, she is going to go up the mound one side and down the other nope Nope when she gets to the top lork fires at Ah, okay. She's stopping mid-action. Go ahead. If that's cool with you, he was very close to that mound. Right now, she's only moved. If he moves up, if you say this is definitely 30 feet, then he can't shoot.
Starting point is 01:19:16 If it was 20 feet, he can shoot. What do you mean? I mean, he moved up and was ready in action to shoot if he saw her. He was like five foot away from the mound. If this little mound is 30 feet high, then he would have to double move to get up there. And so he can't ready the action to shoot. But I just like the image of him going up there
Starting point is 01:19:34 and waiting for her to show herself. Well, look at the way the mound is shaped. You know what I mean? You're not going to get a bonus to hit, but you're on the side of the mound, and there's an opening there. See what I mean? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:44 And she's on the top, so you're just aiming up. Yeah. I don't know if she gets a bonus to race, see how that works, but you can try to hit her. So shoot once. A quick shot with the old black arrow longbow. Jack Sparrow, the black arrow. Here we go.
Starting point is 01:19:58 How about a little natty 20? What do you say, Lor? I'm for it. Let's give us a natty 20. Natural one. I saw it from here. Natural. Jeepers. How saw it from here. Natural. Jeepers, Lord.
Starting point is 01:20:07 How many fumbles have we had in this combat? Honestly, man. And the one before. Fumble Ruski. Oh, my word. I feel like Troy put us all. We need to start confirming fumbles. Crumbles.
Starting point is 01:20:19 Sixth round. It's kind of a crumble. Sixth round. Sixth level, rather. Oh, this is rough, you know? It's cool, though. Oh, this is rough. It's cool, though. Phantom Wind. You compensate for a breeze that isn't there.
Starting point is 01:20:36 You take a minus two penalty on ranged attack rolls for three rounds. Which sucks, because I was just like, you know what I'm going to do? Considering how awful she is at melee range, I was like, I'm going to shoot this woman. Like the old days. And now I take a minus two to all the attacks. It is cool, though. In a place like this, it's like phantom wind. Something is like off.
Starting point is 01:20:54 So what happened to you? You take a? I take a minus two for three rounds on ranged attacks. Oof. All right, so now you've halted her movement in the middle of her movement. No, she keeps going. I just fire. Oh, and now she's not going to double move. If you're going to attack her, she's middle of her movement. No, she keeps going. I just fire. But now she's not going to double move.
Starting point is 01:21:06 If you're going to attack her, she's going to attack you. She spits from her mouth this black ball that comes flying at you. Ranged. Let me see if it's ranged touch. I think it's just ranged attack.
Starting point is 01:21:22 Yep, just ranged attack, not ranged touch. Okay. Oh, yeah. Oh, not ranged touch. Okay. Oh, yeah. Oh, she hits you. Well over 20. Here's what's going to happen. You take nine points
Starting point is 01:21:37 of fire damage and you get covered in hot, sticky tar. Minus two to your dex for three rounds. Minus two to your attacks. Now, because of your fumble, and minus two to dex. Covered in tar. Not all attacks, just range.
Starting point is 01:21:56 Excuse me, just, yeah. And his AC's going to go down as well. And that is her turn. Della. Dude, just so we're clear this character has high level spell casting spell resistance frequently hits over 30 on melee attacks and does over 10 damage over 20 on ranged attacks it literally makes it's the most unbalanced thing for an individual character you know what i mean like you're good at some things you're not good at others like there's
Starting point is 01:22:24 nothing she's not good at. She's really well built. Oh, and her AC is like 23 or something. I'll put her stat block on Tumblr. It's crazy. Maybe. All right. Hits you.
Starting point is 01:22:35 Covered in tar. And that is similar to Galabras. That damage is going to be continual. Della, you can now see. And Della's going to move up onto the mound. Okay. And cast magic missile. So she's going to move up to the mound
Starting point is 01:22:52 right next to her? Okay, so she's still like two mounds away. No, the mound ahead of me. Oh, I see. So you're now fighting mound to mound! I love this. Lork is like halfway up one mound, just firing arrows. Iwiga shot a tar ball at lork and nailed her and now you climbed up another mound and you're going to shoot magic
Starting point is 01:23:11 missiles so i'm actually going to use spell recall which is a fourth level magus ability so i'm spending in our my last arcane pool point to recall a spell i've cast today awesome and then i'm casting it again i hope it gets through her her spell resist. I guess I should roll that first. What die should I roll? I've literally fumbled on all of them. Natural 19. Alright, it passes through. Talk to me about damage.
Starting point is 01:23:36 Oh. 11 damage. 11 damage. Not two. Lork. Iron Tus ones. Not two. Two ones. Shabay. Lork. Iron Tusk. Hurton. Hurton, bro.
Starting point is 01:23:49 I moved in the initiative order when I took that shot. Oh, I'm sorry. So you, yeah, now you're up there. Okay. Barry Connick Jr. He's with me. Okay, he stayed with you. Galabras.
Starting point is 01:24:02 Can I get up the, can I get within melee of her? Yeah, you can get up there. You can get up there. I'm going to two-handed swing my hammer. 24. That hits. Hey, an attack hit or a melee attack?
Starting point is 01:24:19 Nine. Nine damage. She is fucked. Does it look like it hurt her? It looked like it really hurt her. All right, good. Okay. Maybe that's her one weakness is low hit points.
Starting point is 01:24:31 Because everything else is so powerful. She's got it in spades. Baron. With Pythagorean theorem, which is often cited on this show, I really need to be on top of a mound to get good shots at her. So I'm going to skitter up the top of the mound right next to me and move to the edge of it. So that should be 30 to get up there,
Starting point is 01:24:49 and I get 10 more feet once I'm up there. Okay, and are you doing anything? That was double move. Double move, okay. Round 11, perhaps. I'm doing my best. Lost the rounds. Max damage for the heated metal
Starting point is 01:25:06 Eight points of damage Continues to burn What do you have left? I've got three left Holy farts So that just lasts forever? Is that how that works? She uses an extended magic wand
Starting point is 01:25:22 What else does she have? I have one of those too I have a magic snake that lives in my trousers extended magic wand. What else does she have? I have one of those too. I have a magic snake that lives in my trousers that gives me an automatic 18 points of healing every time someone makes up some bullshit again. So ridiculous.
Starting point is 01:25:36 Alright, Lork, you moved in the initiative order, so it is your turn. And Barry Connick Jr. Okay, Lork is going to he's going to rapid shot at her. Okay.
Starting point is 01:25:53 Miss. Miss. Barry Connick Jr. Very hard to hit her now. I command him to stay. Okay. She goes invisible. Provokes. Unless she rolls the five foot Okay. She goes invisible. Provokes. Unless she rolls the constant. Five foot step and she goes invisible.
Starting point is 01:26:09 All right. You win this round. Della. Well, fuck. She's gone. She's gone. She's gone. She's gone.
Starting point is 01:26:20 Oh, wow. Oh, wow. To the devil, to a red blazer, she's gone oh why oh why to the devil to the red blizzard she's gone Della is going to drink a
Starting point is 01:26:30 potion of cure light wounds Galabras that's very smart what else am I gonna do
Starting point is 01:26:35 that's a great turn yeah I'm gonna use the wand on myself there you go buddy does the dog
Starting point is 01:26:40 have scent yep that's why I summed it 12 points to me awesome huge Does the dog have scent? Yep. Okay. That's why I summed it. 12 points to me. Awesome. Huge.
Starting point is 01:26:50 That is huge. And, yeah, the dog. So it's a move action to know the direction. Within how many feet? 30 feet. 30 feet. I mean, he senses that it's still on top of the mound somewhere. All right, so then it's a move action to a, well, whatever. So he moves, closes with her.
Starting point is 01:27:08 Then he just closes. He closes. Okay, so he starts going up the mound. How does it work? It's a move action to sheath or draw a weapon? It's a move action to sheath a weapon. You can draw a weapon as part of a move action. You can do either as part of a move action.
Starting point is 01:27:24 All right, so after Della drank the potion, she sheathed her... No, she didn't. It's flaming. Never mind. Ah! Ah! Ah, it burns!
Starting point is 01:27:32 This was a horrible mistake! This dog has more than 30 feet of move speed. Yeah, the dog can move 40 feet. So does it know where it is now? It doesn't matter, though. We just don't know. Yeah, it just knows the direction. But if it gets within five feet of it, it knows exactly where it is. But if it gets within five feet gets within sense it'll know exactly it's not going to attack it or anything no but
Starting point is 01:27:48 then we would know where it is if it knows where it is right it's gonna start barking it's okay sure Baron did it bark in a space no there's a two-foot gap between this mound and that mound according to how the map is drawn, I'm going to hop over. Okay, roll an acrobatics check. That's a 35 acrobatics check. Okay. He, like, clicks his heels five times. He does a triple lutz over to the other mound. The five-foot step you took backwards before you get invisible,
Starting point is 01:28:20 I'm going to shoot into that square. Okay. Then 50% consumer see what uh-huh nope that's a fucking 14 against touch AC kills the dog you'll never smell again touch a see the roll oh I'm sorry touch AC I forgot actually a 15 against such AC but that's fine Roll for concealment 57 Alright it hits As far as you can tell
Starting point is 01:28:49 6 points of damage Okay round 11 Galabras You feel the metal is starting to cool down But it still does 7 points of damage And by cooling down it's just slightly less hot. Hot, hot, hot. And it is now Lork and Barry Levinson's
Starting point is 01:29:10 turn. Barry Connix Jr. Lork will fire into the square where he last saw her before she vanished. Wait, you would have seen Grant shoot, and you would have seen the bullet stop. That is so absurd Matthew
Starting point is 01:29:25 you wouldn't see blood fly out of this invisible space in the air I think you have you see a dog stopping at her at her space I'm shooting into the same square that Grant shot it that's why that's what I'm saying triangulate it's called triangulation uh
Starting point is 01:29:40 19 to hit miss and miss two misses Barry Connick Jr stop it 19 to hit. Miss. And miss. Two misses. Barry Connick Jr.? Stop it. Okay. It's her turn, and, I mean, she is, as far as you can tell, she's gone. The dog senses that she left.
Starting point is 01:29:59 Oh, thank God, she's gone. Woo! Now we can just open that chest. Without a problem. Get all the free stuff. I do think that we should go to the chest because I think that's what she wants. It is what she wants. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 01:30:12 We should head to the chest. Della, do you want to guard the door with me or no? Should we go to the chest? I think if she's gone, she's gone. I think we should go. I think we should stick together. All right, let's stick together. That's probably smart.
Starting point is 01:30:25 I think Del, why don't you charge out the doors? Follow. We'll go to the chest. That's hilarious. Fuck you all. I can't see. We would definitely stand there with our weapons armed for a while. For a couple rounds.
Starting point is 01:30:40 While this is happening, I'm going to be healing. Yeah. I'm going to get a wand. wand there you go do you want me to come down help you get out of your armor no it's it's off did it fade out yeah you take one more point of heat damage but you can just heal it back eventually the spell goes away it's a spell the last 13 rounds with the 13 extended metamagic wand more More than a round. I would have loved to have killed her to get that wand. She's got lots of good stuff. I wish we had discovered her earlier.
Starting point is 01:31:10 Because, I mean, it would have been an awful combat, but maybe not in this awful room. And then... The room was tough. I actually, I agree with Joe in terms of... A lot of times in Pathfinder, especially at higher levels, when if you move, you can't do multiple attacks.
Starting point is 01:31:26 People just kind of stand in place like endlessly because they don't want to give up their multiple. Yeah. This one definitely used the room and start on one side of the room, got to the other side of the room, came back to the other side of the room. Um, let's go to the chest.
Starting point is 01:31:38 Yeah. I mean, if like, well, like we said, couple rounds armed, ready to wait and nothing attacks you nothing's happening
Starting point is 01:31:46 yeah you guys are sitting there bow is she there is she there is she there and nothing attacks you there's that awful I think it's pretty pointless
Starting point is 01:31:53 to chase her out the door I think she's got here's the thing and Lork will say this and you would agree you've been saying this Baron who's you
Starting point is 01:32:01 Baron you've been saying this she has this self-preservation thing she didn't come in here before because she couldn't fight these things so she used us to kill these other things and then she was going to try to take advantage of us when we were weak my actual fear is now that she is invisible right behind the chest and will try to knock us out because she wants what's then let her knock us out my point is my point is that i think she fled because she realized like right she fucked with the wrong crew. And she's going to try to stay alive for another 200 years.
Starting point is 01:32:28 So let her. Who cares? She might try to get us later, but the important thing is to get these items. If we get what's in this chest. I agree. I totally agree. We'll kill her in one round. We can heal.
Starting point is 01:32:37 We can get our spells back. Especially because of the plus one falchion that's in there. If there is anything you can. Guaranteed. All right. So what are you going to do? We're going to move. If nothing happens for a few rounds, we're going to move to the chest.
Starting point is 01:32:49 You move slowly, cautiously to the chest. No, Lurk leaves his weapons behind. Blighted Lurk. Right. Closes his eyes. Takes off his armor. Removes his armor. All right, you go over to the chest.
Starting point is 01:33:03 Who is doing what? Is it locked? Are you trying to open it? No, I go over to the chest. Who is doing what? Is it locked? Are you trying to open it? No, I'm trying to look. I'm trying to do a perception check to see if it's locked, because I can open it with a spell. Roll a perception check. 14.
Starting point is 01:33:21 Not sure. All right, Lork is going to... There's no visible lock, is what you're saying. There's not a big lock on the outside. Correct. Lork is going to try to jiggle it. Wait, I can open it with a... Stop it.
Starting point is 01:33:32 I can open it with a spell. Lork doesn't listen to 17-year-old girls. He tries to open it. Lork tries to open it. It's locked. Well, then I can't open it with a spell. Baron would like to use, for the first time in this game the utility shot oh shoot the lock blast lock if no one else has a better knock spell or anything else no
Starting point is 01:33:57 blast lock time baby everybody stand back stand back don't misfire the the gunslinger makes an attack roll against a lock. Simple lock has a plus 10 bonus. Average lock is 15. Good lock is 20. And superior lock is 30. Do you have that in your head? AC.
Starting point is 01:34:17 The AC. 10, 20, or 30 for how difficult this particular lock is. 20. Okay. Against touch AC. It has a break DC on it. Could I have a bit of luck? Do you have any more? Yeah, I'll give you a bit of luck.
Starting point is 01:34:29 That's my last one, I think. Point blank shot. This is amazing. This is how this works. Good luck, Baron. Don't miss. Everybody stand back. That is a 18. Motherfucker!
Starting point is 01:34:47 17. Couldn't get it. Couldn't get it. Shoots Lork in the foot. That is a... Lork would like to do a perception around the entire room for a fucking key. Is the mist still there? I know the mist dissipates.
Starting point is 01:35:01 Save it. He doesn't find anything. You find one of Baron's fishing lures. They're riddled throughout this dungeon. There it is. But no key, no. This is like a collectible in a video game. Just pieces of Grant's fishing equipment.
Starting point is 01:35:17 I have a... Lork has a Masterwork Light Flail. He can try to smash it. Try to smash it. So it's going to have hardness and shit like that. So it's an automatic. I have all these stats. Yep.
Starting point is 01:35:31 So you can. Yeah. But I got to get over the, but he's, so he's going to power attack. Okay. Well, you got,
Starting point is 01:35:37 yeah, you got to get that bonus. There is a break DC and then there's hardness and hit points of everything. Right. So normally I wouldn't let this play out. I'd say eventually you open it, but this is kind of fun. Yeah, so with the power attack, he does
Starting point is 01:35:50 14 points of damage on a hit. Long story short, you keep wailing at it with the flail. By the second hit, it breaks open. Okay. The whole thing swings up. And the chest is chest. Is empty. Is empty.
Starting point is 01:36:07 Oh my God. Fuck you guys. We'll see you next week. Oh God. That was the worst ever. What a colossal waste of time. Outro Music

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