The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 56 - Elementally, Mud Dear Watson

Episode Date: June 21, 2016

With the Vault of Thorns behind them, the adventurers begin their trek back to the Chelish Devil. Little do they know, however, that Ghostlight Marsh has one last surprise in store for them. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast, the heroes emerge from the Vault of Thorns. Can we go to the boat? I never thought I'd want to be back on that boat. Back on that death trap. And Della meets the world. Della is just fascinated by this world. Even as dim and murky and scary as Ghostlight Marsh is, it's just so different. But danger still lurks in the depths of Ghosts Like Marsh.

Roll for initiative. Let's get our groove back, huh? Danger like no one has seen before. Oh my god, it's so heartbreaking. The adventure continues... Kill it, Baron, kill it! ...now. The adventure continues... Kill it, Baron, kill it! Now. Welcome to another episode of the Glass Cannon Podcast. This is your dwarf, Grant Berger, a.k.a. Baron Redheart, and I am thrilled to be with you for another week.

Wow, what another double-cross that's really rocked the glass cannon crew a wigga a hag the whole time we've been double crossed and tricked so much throughout this entire adventure it's really difficult to tell who's who at any given time whether it's someone like screed who can change his appearance at will or the crew of the Chellish Devil. Heck we even thought we had Melira beaten and she came back and double crossed us for a second time. Even Ingehild our new dwarven companion almost killed Lork the first time she met him under the effects of a curse. I hope things become a little less devious for the True Now 4 as we go further into this adventure, but I can tell you one thing.

Baron is done giving the benefit of the doubt to the bad guys. You fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, well it's not going to happen because I'm going to shoot you in the head. Anyway guys, I want to give a quick shout out to Kevin O'Dell who was kind enough to let Skid and I sit in on the final game he had for his students. It was a game of Rise of the Rune Lords.

We showed up at the last minute and saved the day but I can tell you that it was our honor and pleasure to do so because we had a ton of fun playing with these kids and seeing Kevin passing the torch to the next generation of Pathfinders. Kevin, we hope we can do it again next year. Anyway, without further ado, here's episode 56, Elementally, my dear Watson. Should I have not have ended last episode the way I did?

Oh, man. Was that cool? It's not even funny. I just thought you guys enjoyed the combat so much that I wanted it to really end on a... Really satisfying note. Yes.

That's like, oh, yeah. That was one of those combats that, like, is so frustrating that it's hard not to hate everything about it

because you feel helpless. Yeah, invisible creatures. It's just brutal. Well, and that's the thing... And spellcasters. The thing, too. We can also fight in melee. When you have a fight that rough, that lasts that long,

and you feel so ineffectual for most of it, and then at the end, the person you're fighting vanishes. They escape. Gets away. And then it's like, oh, well, at least we have the treasure. And it's like, oh, there's no treasure. Yeah. Who's the Greek guy that pushes the rocket? Sisyphusphus sisyphus it's a sisyphus this is a sisyphian

uh in my defense i'd like to blame joe for a little bit of what happened excuse me oh what what did he do well i there was a point i don't know if you guys remember it as much as I do, but where I rolled two fumbles basically in a row. Yeah, I do. I do remember that distinctly. For the listeners at home, what they couldn't see is that Joe idly started reaching over to my dice and rolling all natural ones, natural fives, and he cursed my dice, which is Jonas. It all adds up. I actually did.

I forgot that. I wanted to see if it was real. It turns out it's real. Turns out it's real. Still real. Cursed by Jonas. It all adds up. I actually did. I forgot that. I wanted to see if it was real. It turns out it's real. Turns out it's real. Still real. Cursed by Jonas. Well. But that was a big part of why that was so frustrating was because of the timing and

nature of some of the fumbles that we had. Yeah. Lork fumbled too. Minus two for a few rounds and on ranged. Yeah. I really, I blamed you guys more than anything for poor rolling i mean i've never seen matthew angry and his face was just like yeah smoke coming out of his ears i've really never seen him like an ice cold glare like so angry at those guys and you joe

uh and you know i'll buy you new dice and i won't touch them i promise and you know no matter how much we play this game you pretty pretty much, live or die, you always kill the bad guy. Right. But in this case, she got away. Yeah. She's the one that got away. But at least you found a hoard of treasure

that you came to this vault for. So I do want to do two things to that chest, if I can. Okay. Besides ogle it I'm nervous Besides light it on fire I want to look at it and see why it's swollen If there's any type of check I can do for that Because you kept on calling it swollen And I want to just inspect it in general

To see if there's any weird secret What's the deception? Why? Why a deceptive chest? And if I don't find anything on my perception check, I want to try to pick it up and move it. Okay, roll a perception.

Fuck. 17. Yeah, you can't really... You don't really see anything. Baron, come on. You guys are welcome to perceive as well. I thought you were going to ask me if

there was an interesting stone working in the chest. He hasn't asked that in a while. I forgot. I just want to verify that it's

empty and not that there's not like invisible items. Is there a false bottom? Is there a false bottom? You can roll a

perception check. All right. Perception for the false bottom. You only get one. Natty one. Here we go, Lark. Let's start this episode off right. Lark You only get one. Natty one. Here we go, Lark. Let's start this episode off right.

Lark is back in town. Natty 19. Oh. 24. Yeah. No, 26. Galabo? 13.

So Baron walks. I'm aiding her. Okay. Baron walks up. Looking around. He doesn't see anything. Lark walks up. Trips.

Trips. The trips falls. Lands on Barry Connick Jr. Stop landing on me. And Della is like wait a minute let me take a look at that. False bottom.

What? Really? Are you shitting me? Sure enough there's a false bottom. Yes! Give me a bottle cap! Wait would, would it

have shown itself if I tried to move it? No, it was unmovable. It's right into the rock. Okay. I'd like to make a motion for a bottle cap. Wait, so it is a stone bottle cap. Yeah! Why did you get a bottle cap? I was the one who did the check. I was the one who said false bottom. I was joking.

Shared bottle cap. I can't find one. You get a bottle cap. I was joking I can't believe there's a really false bottom I can't find it You get a bottle cap See he doesn't even come with bottle caps because he knows he's not going to give them out We're all drinking out of cans You said the false bottom was in a stone bottom didn't you? I think I get stone sense

Oh Oh No you got nothing Sure enough there is a false bottom in the chest. What do you do? A false bottom. Lift the false bottom? Yeah, lift the false bottom.

A ladder descending. Oh, no! Down into the 50-foot high mound. Holy shit. Now, oh, God. Do we need to rest? Do we need to rest? Can we rest?

Yeah, yeah, you can absolutely rest. It's the same thing where even this room has been corrupted by blight. It's the same rules. Yeah, you don't really sleep. I mean, let's just say for the sake of argument that we go down the stairs and all it is is a giant hoard of treasure. Like, our characters couldn't possibly go down

there without resting. You know what I mean? You could easily think there'd be something guarding at that level too. The door is kicked open. If we could escape, we should, like, it would be logical for us to say, you know, let's gather ourselves. We should close the door. Bar the door. Close the chest too. Close the door. Yeah, close the door. Bar the door.

Close the chest, too. Close the chest. Replace the false bottom. Close the chest. Yeah, we never saw it. And stay awake. And knit for eight hours. Okay.

Tell ghost stories. If you could prepare Lesser Restoration for my strength down. Yes, because Della has minus two. I'm definitely still going to be down. I'm fine. I have 37 hit points, but I'll cure like seven with the rest. Do you want me to hit you with the wand? No, let's save it.

Let's save it. Okay. I still got plenty of charges in that wand. It's fine. It's fine. I'm only going to be like six down of max. You know what I mean? Let's save the wand.

That could make all the difference, Joe. I'm ferocious be like six down of max. You know what I mean? Like, let's save the wand. That could make all the difference. Joe. Yeah. Well, I'm ferocious and rage filled. While you're, while he's not looking, non-consensual one, five,

five points. All right. Thanks. You non-consensually want me to, uh, Hey there. Yeah, I'll take it too.

Cause we almost all died. Are you kidding me? Uh, we can buy another one. We, we found a thousand dollars worth of perfume. We can buy another fucking wand We found $1,000 worth of perfumed flowers. We can buy another fucking wand.

10 points to Della. I'm at max now. Thank you. And 10 points to Ben. Perfect. Thank you. Okay. And then we rest. Okay.

Rest is what you do when you lose. Rest. Rest your weary heads. Okay. Time to go down that ladder. Oh, and I was going to say, for Galabras, his meditations are invaded ever since it happened by visions of Gormley's broken body.

Every time he tries to think of anything else, that's all that comes up. I can see that happening as the voice of the narrator from Baldur's Gate. You rest your weary head at the voice of the narrator from Baldur's Gate? You rest your weary head at the end of a day, but your rest is interrupted by visions of... By visions

of Saravok. Okay. What do you guys want to do? Just leave the vault? So we were good here in this room, resting, staying awake, though, and nothing came in.

Nothing bothered us, and we passed eight hours. You're saying? Yep. Okay. Meditations are done. Remove the false bottom and go down. Yeah, Lorkel, go first. I love false bottoms.

How do you descend with a bear cub? You don't. You can leave the bear upstairs. Yeah, I'll tell him to stay. I'll tell him to stay at the top of the thing, mound, and Lork will descend the stairs. It is a warped wooden ladder, actually.

Going straight down, and it goes down into a ten foot square chamber. And before I do that, I restore... Oh, so it's really small. I restore Della. Della.

Two points. Oh, that's what I lost. Great. Thank you. Della has her strength back. How Della got her strength back. Yep. Warp wooden ladder

into a 10 foot square room. So not even all of you can fit down there. I suggest that Galabras go down too with his knowledge of... I'll go down.

I love this idea of Galabras and Lork just in there. Yeah, yeah. In this treasure room while the other guys are looking down. Keep an eye out.

Although several of the items in the room have rotted or decayed, it is loaded with magical items. Yeah! Galabras senses great magic. Oh, finally.

Lay it on us. I will tell you, let's start with the money that you find. Let's start with the cash. you find. Let's start with the cash. You find three platinum pieces. Yeah. 178 gold pieces. Ooh. 605 silver pieces.

And 2,125 copper pieces. Yay. That's not much. There is a. I'm not going to complain. Ironwood crown with a stylized thorn motif. Oh, that is cool. Worth 250 gold pieces.

A ceremonial gem-encrusted cudgel worth 150 gold pieces. What's a cudgel? Is that like a hammer or a club? It's a club, yeah. Club. There are two wands. There are three scrolls. There is,

uh, 10 arrows, 10 magical arrows, another magical arrow, a magical, like a, like a, they're different.

Yeah. They're different. So like there's a group of ten magical arrows that have one magic. Then there's one single arrow that has its own magic. There is a magical scimitar. You gotta be shitting me. There is a magical greatsword. And there is a magical ironwood breastplate.

Oh, cool. That's really cool. That is very cool. So you guys like handing it up the ladder. Yeah. Passing it up. Oh, I love this image. I'll let you do the wands together.

I'll let you do the scrolls as one thing. I'll let you do the arrows. Lork's'll let you do the scrolls as one thing. I'll let you do the arrows. Lork's like, Calabros, does it have any value? What did we find down here? Oh, you don't have spellcraft. I don't have spellcraft. Is this worth bit of lucking him? I mean, I have the same spellcraft that Gormley did.

If you want a bit of luck, I don't think it's worth it. We could just use a wand, right? Oh, I don't know. No, you have to know what it is. Yeah, you do, I guess. Start with the wands. 14.

That's fine. There's a wand of flaming sphere with nine charges. Okay. And a wand of greater magic fang with 12 charges. I don't know what Magic Fang is. Magic Fang lets you add a natural attack during your attack action, your melee attack action. It's a druidic spell, so none of you can

cast it, but... You can with Use Magical Device. If you invest enough in Use Magical Device, it is possible. So like, Della, for example, could cast it on herself, and then I think you can make a melee attack, and then a bite attack. So badass. Let's talk about

the scrolls. 15. Okay, well, you're really killing it over there. I changed dice instantly. These are the ones Jokers. Is a scroll... Stop blaming... Now I'm getting blamed for your bad rolls? A scroll of Barkskin, a scroll. Stop blaming. Now I'm getting blamed for your bad rolls? A scroll of Barkskin.

Ooh. A scroll of Call Lightning. Mm. And a scroll of Summon Nature's Ally 4. What? Holy shit. You could summon like a dinosaur with that. Yeah, like a Triceratops or something.

But again, I think that's a druid spell. They're all druid spells. It's very cool. They're all druid spells. All right, the weapons? Yes. I'll just tell you there are 10 plus 1 orc bane arrows. Oh, man!

Don't fall on them. Don't fall on them. I know, right? 10 plus 1 orc bane arrows. Noob Corner? Noob Corner, what is that? Noob Alert. They do Corner, what is that? Noob Alert. They do extra damage against orcs.

Yeah, plus 2d6 damage against orcs. Yep. Yeah, so it's orc bane and their plus one. Anything bane means it does extra damage against them. Damn you, McBane. Yep. And the other one is a single orc slaying arrow. Oh.

Which I believe if it hits, it gets a fortitude save, I think, and then it dies. I don't know the mechanics. It's complicated. And even if it makes the save, it still suffers like 50 points of damage or something. What about the scimitar? The scimitar. Want me to roll? Don't even worry about rolling on it,

because you have seen a scimitar similar to this, because you've been calling the magic of the same exact thing. It is a plus one flaming scimitar. Oh, my God! And that is straight from the book. Wow! Get out of here! Holy shit!

A flaming scimitar? A plus one flaming scimitar. So you can turn yours into like a plus two flaming ice scimitar. You could like do flame burst. It could do all kinds of stuff. Yeah. Or just a plus three flaming scimitar and that'd be fucking great too. It is a, and the breastplate is a plus one ironwood breastplate.

So obviously the plus one is going to help. I don't know who can wear that. I don't know who has the armor. I think I can. I mean, either of us can. Ironwood. I don't even know. Ironwood probably grants you some benefits as well, the fact that it's ironwood.

No, it doesn't. All ironwood does is it allows a druid to wear it because druids can't wear metal. They can't wear metal. Ah, interesting. It has the same bonuses, but it allows druids to wear it. Well, shit, the next time one of you die. But it's still better than my breastplate. The next time one of you guys die, you're going to come back as a druid.

What about the greatsword? Well, you guys are handing all this stuff up, you know, Galabros and Lork, like assembly line, handing it up there. And the last thing Lork grabs is the greatsword. Yeah, I want to know what that is. And as you're handing it up, you notice on the hilt,

the sigil of Gorom etched right into the hilt wow and it is as far as Galabras can tell the most magical item

in the world holy shit can you do a spellcraft on that can I I'll do it I'll say a prayer to Gorom

and I will give you a bit of luck for this. Ignore that roll. Bit of luck. 18. You don't know. Oh, no. So what's the rule with this?

Like tomorrow I could like try again. I think it's every 24 hours you can keep trying it, I think. Yeah. So I guess we'll have to wait until tomorrow. So 18 doesn't mean anything. I think it's every 24 hours you can keep trying it, I think. Yeah. So I guess we'll have to wait until tomorrow. So 18 doesn't mean

it. I don't know. It seems very powerful, though. Yeah. You are detecting moderate transmutation magic from it.

Oh, weird. Wow. And it has Gorim on it. It has Gorim on it. All right, so Lork is definitely going to take that then. Yeah.

Would you guys mind if I took the scimitar? No, you could take the scimitar no you could take the civet I assume nobody wants a falchion no screeds falchion oh yeah I'm thinking about laying it to rest here you should give it to Greg if you wanted to keep it yeah that's that's a good idea. I can carry it, no problem. You can? Yeah.

And Gormley had the belt of heavy load. I have a flail and a longbow and a dagger, and I feel like it's silly carrying all these weapons. But I definitely want to explore what this weapon of Gorom is. You know what I mean? Lork just sort of started going in for this religion stuff after Jasun died, and so he's not that. He's kind of new to it, but he sees

this symbol, and he's like, he wants to explore it, see what it has to offer. Aren't you glad he didn't fight over the belt of incredible dexterity? Yes, yes. Oh, yeah, what do I... That's awesome. Hey, guys, by the way, I have a dex character now, so if that belt

of incredible dexterity Is up for grabs No Why don't we open that one No You guys Somebody should take A level in druid

You're telling me That plus one flaming Centaur wasn't enough For you Okay Just curious Well Grant I can add my dex bonus

To my damage Oh wow Oh great Alright so You guys empty Empty out the treasure chest. When we ended last episode over the week, did you think, there's no way there's no treasure in there? Or were you like, there's definitely, we got fucked?

Yeah, no, I thought that it was a complete deception, but I was trying to wrap my head around why, or like, what was the purpose? And I was like, we have to find maybe a secret door somewhere else. I thought that the druids put the deception up there for you to find something else somewhere else in the room. I thought there was a bigger

plot at foot. I thought a wigga snuck in while she moved to the other side of the room and took everything. I didn't even think that you would think maybe a wigga. I thought she maybe spirited away with whatever it was. Fucking crazy. But yeah, you got some...

That was insane. Got some shit. So these guys, it seems like the treasure is in line with the fact that they fucking don't like orcs. These druids. Right. Right. They just hate them. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, now you have a considerable cache of weapons. My God, I'm just looking it up and it looks like... To go to Red Lake Fort. It looks like an orc slaying arrow alone could be worth 2,000 gold pieces. Just one single arrow. Yeah. Don't think you'll be

selling that one. It may come in handy in a fort of orcs and giants. Oh my God. I can tell you I will not be shooting it without a bit of luck. Yeah, no.

Totally. That's like an assassination. Like those are assassinations. Like that one. Exactly, right? Imagine you crit with that. Yep. Oh man.

Okay, so you, as far as you can tell, you have made it through the Vault of Thorns. Two members of your party have passed. The Vault of Thorns did, as you took from the Vault of Thorns, it took from the party. But you have, as far as you know, rid it of the evil that lied within. And this false druid, Iwiga, whatever her...

Could I roll... I want to roll to see if she actually... I don't think she's a druid. Especially that she changed her appearance. And what with you saying, with being weird about the Cure Light Wounds. Could I roll some sort of knowledge check to see if... Like, knowledge arcana to see what kind of spellcaster she was? Sure. A little, uh...

Or what, you know, what she was. Right, right. Uh... 25. 25? Nope. 23. I read the wrong knowledge. Um, she was, in fact, a druidic hag. Huh. Interesting.

Yeah, she was like a hag with... Two great tastes that taste great together. Yeah. Female green hag druid. She's tough. That's written as a CR7 encounter, but the fact that

the Bramble Bright and the animated Bramble left you guys staggering. That turns it up to a CR9 encounter. Have we ever talked about CR? I can't remember. I don't think, no. I don't think so.

I can't imagine that we ever did. We should mention it. Yeah. It's good. Hey, cue the music. Nerd. Skeet's got some explaining to do. It is time for Nerdy. CR. CR creature rating

yeah challenge rating challenge rating it's just it's just a number that's supposed to reflect how difficult an encounter is

and it's supposed to basically coincide or match the relative level of the adventurers running into it so a cr7 encounter you you know basically ordinary size group should be about level seven right like you you factor in the apl which is the average party level which for you guys is five so if you fight fight a CR five encounter or a CR five creature,

that's something you should be able to handle that's of equal strength to you. So CR six is even as hard. And then CR seven is extremely difficult. And this was basically CR nine. And I think it was a CR nine. Which like over four is epic. But you survived, no one else died,

and now you are flush with items standing in this room covered in blight. There is no exit at the bottom. No, it was just an armory. There are no other means of ingress or egress out of the back of this room, correct? None that you perceive. I want to do a quick perception

to see if there are any secret doors. That's what I'm looking for particularly. Sure. And if not, I want to do survival checks to try to find any hag-like footprints as we leave and go back out of here. Right. Okay, so here's my perception check

to see any secret doors. 26. You don't see anything. You know, it's all just woods and shit. And I'll wait for everyone else

to get ready before we leave, but I just want to do a general survival check to look for tracks or anything. So like outside the door?

Yeah, and just in there. Yeah, it's all earth. Anything that looks like what her feet look like last time I saw her. Sure.

She was barefoot. Only a 12. Yeah, I mean, she's... You'll never see her again. That's what you think. She's gone. Man. Okay.

We should probably just... Yeah, we should probably make our way back to the bodies of our allies. Yeah. Pick them up and get out of here. Leave this awful room. Go back into the corridor. Head up the sloped corridor. Turn around.

Go up the stairs. Come out of that hollow tree into the room where you fought the flowers that shot pollen at you and tried to devour you. Then from there you go through double doors, you're back in a hollow tree that takes you out into the greenhouse area. You see the bridge is still dripping water, so there's like rain still coming down from the ceiling, bright, bright light from way up above.

You walk through there, you see the body of the Tendriculus to your right, one of the dead bodies of the first lurker that you killed. The other one, you don't know where it is. There's still creatures everywhere. Monkeys, lizards, birds all over the place. You make your way through the greenhouse and you enter that other corridor that slopes up.

And then, sure enough, you get to the room where Gormley and Benverine died. Knowing the dangers of the lily pads, but not fearing the danger of a dragonfly, you take your time. You put the rope down, and you guys go to the bottom of the compost bin, come across, get back up,

through some careful climb checks, and then you are back in the council chamber. And for the first time in a couple days, I guess, because you've probably rested twice at this point, you see the bodies of your fallen comrades in an empty council chamber. And they're in general repose still. They are in general repose in that room

that is magically sealed. room that is magically sealed. Della's going to walk over to Gormley's body. Okay. And just stare at it. And just, she's going to kind of tilt

her head to the side. And then she's going to look back to everyone and say, who is this? That was our friends, Gormley. She was a skilled wielder of magic and a good fighter and a good friend. Aye, she was very brave. She fought well.

And Della looks at her a little more and then wiggles her hands around and casts Disguise Self and changes into Gormley physically. That's weird. I like it. And like moves her hands around

like to see what it was like to be her. And then undoes it and returns back to being Della. Making everyone uncomfortable. Yeah, Lord is very uncomfortable. I say, please don't do that again. Teenagers. Teens. I ask her, can you do that to anyone or just the dead?

I, behind the curtain, fetchlings, they can cast Disguise Self once per day. Oh, so you used it for the day on that? Is it like Alter Self? It's Disguise Self. It's not as powerful. I look at her and I say, no, ma'am, I don't like it. No, I'm sorry.

I just wanted to understand. Lurk goes, can you look like Ben Vereen? Let me check the rules. I think that's alter self, actually. I do actually, before we move on and grieve properly, I do want to search the room because we never were able to do that without her here. I just want to see her throne that she was sitting on,

like everything else. That and the seed room, right? Well, we searched the seed room. Well, we did that early. Yeah. You look around and it is completely empty, but those pictures on the wall that I mentioned, those 21 pictures, or 22 if you count the one of me with my thumbs up,

if you wanted to take those out of the council, they're worth money. It's just up to you if you'd want to do that. Yeah, let's take them. Well, we should take them. I don't think we should sell them. I mean, I like the idea of bringing them to Silvermane. Yeah, yeah, I'd love to bring them back to Silvermane Oh that's a good idea

I want to know I turn to My spiritual counselor Galabras And I say This Vault of Thorns has opened up A tear in dimensions And anything can seep in Can we close this place?

Are we sure it'll be safe for the people around Ghostlight Marsh if we just leave it like it is? It could become more corrupt than ever after we leave. Yes, but no one lives here now. Nothing can get out. We needed a key to get in ourselves. All right. Nothing's escaped. I just get afeard about what could happen if even more...

Well, once we leave, this place will be sealed. Okay. Without the lantern. When you say leave, where are you going? We are going to a place outside this place. Red Lake Fort. Red Lake Fort. Aye, we head north to a fort to fight the orcs and the giants.

We could use your blade if you'd like to travel with us a little longer. Well, you're all very interesting, and I've never met anyone else quite like you before, but I... Well, maybe I'll have to see if I can find my father when we return. But I'd be happy to accompany you and search for him that way. If you help us with our quest, we would be more than happy to do what we could to help you find your father as well. Thank you. Lork would like to take

he'd like to ask elaborous if he would carry the body of benverine and he'd like and he'll carry the body of gormley out of the vault yeah uh and he's fine with uh burying benverine in the swamp outside but he wants to carry Gormley back to the boat. Oh boy. That's going to be, that's going to be tough on rag. Mm. Yeah. Um,

you don't want to just burn it or in the witch. That's what they say. I don't know. I just, I kind of feel like, uh, she should be laid to rest in the mountains, not in a swamp.

That's what Lork thinks. Oh, interesting. We could burn it. We could take our asses, though. We could. Is there a Ralphs around here? It'll

take us. It's because we're bereaved, doesn't make us Saps! Now that we know the distance, and we are going to be fumbling around for a way out, if we get out of here, okay, How long would it take us to get back to the boat?

Assuming you make it through unmolested, three days. Okay, so the body will probably not be in great shape by the time we get back. No, it's got general repose. Forever? Even if we leave the Vault of Thorns? Yep. He can cast it. He cast general repose, but that room was also

protected by an unjuined of timelessness that helped even. I don't see a problem. If we get into trouble, we can drop her as gently as possible. Throw her at it. Roll a ranged attack. Roll a ranged attack. How much damage does Gormley's body do?

Improvise corpse weapon. Okay, so you leave there, and you cross the bridge, the bridge overlooking the greenhouse, and then you go out to the floral bloom, and you see that the stone men here that you first came into the dimension in is no longer glowing. Oh, no.

The portal's closed, then? That's what you think. Can I do a knowledge plan on the portal? Sure. Oh. So we wash the lantern over it and nothing happens? If you wash the lantern over it, it reignites. Ah. That's what we do then.

That's what you do. Yeah, it only lasted for 24 hours. Sweet, so I got another bottle cap. That's two. Give me back your frozen. Yep, so you wash the lantern over again and just the olive hue comes up again, and it's glowing.

Okay. I step out with the body of Benverine, and I step out with the body of Gormley. I say... Niceley. I say, I say, I turn to our fetchling friend and I say, welcome to Galarian. And then I walk through.

If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. You're standing there in a place that you have been there. You don't even know how long. It's been ages, but I have no way to know, because the day has never turned. Yeah, your sense of time is all over the place. You could have been here two weeks, or

200 years. You're immediately 300 years old, and dying. And you stand in front of this glowing menhir that you've seen your new comrades touch, and then immediately disappear. And I look back, and then I step through them in here. And you guys all appear back in the

circle of standing stones and you see Ingehild, Nagrimiken, just asleep, leaning next to her. Sleeping on her watch? Yeah. She's alone. She is alone. Okay. And she's dead. She's dead, Jim. L And she's dead Okay She's dead Jim

Lork will give her a kick A light kick Wake up He's still not very pleased with her Since she Tried to decapitate him Sorry I was resting

I don't remember what my voice is like It's been so many episodes So I'll just go with this Did you find what you were looking for? Aye, we did, but we paid dearly for it. What happened? I'm holding the body of Gormley. Oh, God.

Oh, no. What? Oh, no. Oh, this is horrible. Oh, this is horrible. And you tell her what happened, and she's just... Oh, yeah, and she lost her brother. I thought we might find him in here or something

And the witches and stuff But nothing The witches are probably dead We thought we found them I explained to her what What's her name A wigga looked like when she was a witch And asked if it was anything like

What did the cursing Her eyes get huge And she's like That's the witch Oh that's awesome That's the witch We must, that's awesome. Oh, that's the witch. We must have not killed the entire coven. That was the only one that was remaining.

Did you defeat her? No. Well, she got away. We did defeat her in a way. She's still alive. She might be still in there if you want to go in. I wish I was there with you. I would have loved to struck the killing blow on her for what she did to me and hopefully not to my brother.

But you didn't see Umlo in there. Shit. No. We never did the extra perception checks, but I don't think we saw him. I don't know what we would have missed. We saw no sign of him and we searched the place high and low. I ask her, was Umlo an equivalent level fighter to us? Do you think he had the survival skills we did from what you've seen?

Umlo is very strong. I've always looked up to him. He could cleave a neck of a half-orc with one swing. Oh, sorry, too soon. Well, I let her know, as strong as we were, we lost two of our number. And if he was by himself, I don't think the odds

would have been good for him. I understand. Well, I... I'm going to stay positive. I... I just believe he's still alive. I can feel it. I can feel he's alive. But, anyways, you have your mourning, your grieving to do

and a new friend? And Della kind of leans down and gets really close to her and says, You smell really interesting. Okay, let's... I'm Della. Let's just head back. Yeah, so we make for Rag's boat on the River Esk.

Would you like to follow us? Do you think maybe your brother might be at Red Lake Fort? If your captain will have me, my axe is yours. All right, Rag's a good man. He'll listen to reason. I hope my brother's still out there, and I'm happy to travel with you to the fort and see if we can find him.

Okay. I take special care along the way to explain to her in Dwarven that no one else can understand, I believe, that, like, Lork's a sweet dude. There are some rough dudes on the boat, but they've actually been fair to us. I tell her the whole story, basically, of what happened. Because she, like, while she was crazy,

like, wanted to kill every orc in the world. And she's a dwarf. She hates orcs. I hated orcs. I dealt with that. So I'm just trying to get her ready to get on a boat full of half orcs. Sailors! And a full-blooded orc.

Okay, good, yeah, that's helpful. She understands. And it also helps you two bond a little bit more, which is important. She's unusually optimistic. I think she has that sort of kin sense that he lives. Let me sense motive on her for her optimism.

Just kidding. She strikes you down. She casts entangle. Detect evil. Um, and yeah, so you guys start making your way back. And like I said,

it'll take three days. That's what it took you, I think to get here. Yeah. Um, and as we walk, Della is just fascinated by this world. Even as dim and murky and scary as Ghosts Like Marshes, it's just so different from all the other planes

that she and her father have been traveling to. And where she spent the past however many long years she's been there. And I think Galabras is spending the time kind of grilling her on all these different places she's seen uh because that's his jam planes yeah yeah or just anything anything different any any kind of anything about travel traveling to different places so she's really into telling them too she's like she's never been able to talk about this with anyone but her father, who she hasn't seen for forever. Right.

The first day, you make it X amount of miles through. You camp out for the night, and everything's fine. Oh, man, I could just hear it in his tone of voice where this is going. Second night, you make it through the night, camp out, everything's fine. And then on your final night to get back to the boat,

you are accosted by our first random encounter. Oh! First ever. First ever random encounter. Whoa. Wow. What's that?

What is that? Skid, tell us about random encounters. Ha ha ha. Skid's got something plain to do. It is time for a party. Boom. Random encounters. Random encounters are encounters that are random. Right. That's it. They're not pre-scripted.

Usually roll on a table in whatever you're doing, and you roll your dice and see if anything shows up or nothing shows up. And in this case, something showed up. Yeah, so usually like a lot of the encounters obviously that we play are story based. It's like you're moving

through the plot. But then sometimes when you're traveling over the wilderness for a long time, the GM can roll randomly and see if something shows up.

And random encounters seem like a way bigger thing. Like way, like first edition AD&D. They were like half of whatever you ended up yeah because i think they didn't because i didn't think they i think they didn't write so many plot based encounters no no no it was like never they didn't write

adventures like this right they let the gm sort of like generate as you went they gave you ideas yeah for random encounters yeah So you actually rolled. On your journey here, I rolled every single night. You rolled the first night. Yep. Like when you left the keelboat, you guys made it all the way there and never got, it was like a 30% chance of a random encounter. Oh, okay.

So I said, all right, well, I'll see what happens with the three days back. First day, fine. Second day, fine. Roll a 19 on the third day. Ah, okay. So you get a random encounter. So you're rolling against our random encounter AC, basically? Basically.

So, yes, you come to a fork. You are within a few hours of getting back to the keelboat, you would think. And you come to this waterway, basically. So you're on one tract of land, and then what lies before you is this, like, the swamp is breaking up again, so you know you're getting closer to the shore. Because remember when you guys got off, it was like little islands. That's where you fought the hydra. Right, right, right.

Well, similar to that, it's starting to break up again the closer you get to the water. So there are basically three chunks of land. You're on one of them. And then there's this waterway running through it. Makes sense? Looks like a command and conquer map from like the early nineties. Where's Inga? Remember? Oh yeah. I have Inga's with you. Inga Hilde. Now remember the water, if you're walking through, counts as deep bog. So you get cover, but it costs four squares of movement to move in and out of it.

Place yourselves on this thing, on this tract of land, anywhere you'd like to be. But you guys are all walking together. So you can't be like one guy way back here. I was just waiting to see. Just put Inga and i next to each other because we'll still be talking and i'm probably next to della yeah okay so okay lorik and bear naked what's his name bear very kind of very kind of standing in front

Barry Connick Jr. are standing in front. Della and Glabra's behind him. And Inga Hilden and Baron behind them. As you guys get, oh boy, to this clearing, you see, you know, you've been walking through these bogs before.

It's not anything different. But in front of you, the water starts to bubble. Oh, no. Water-based stuff. Starts to bubble, and the mud and the swamp start to coalesce and form a huge mud elemental.

A mud elemental? A huge mud elemental. I've never heard of this. I don't have the pawn for it, but that's what it looks like Check out the tumbler Whoa It is an enormous mud creature I have never heard of that

And it is badass Oh no Roll for initiative Alright Let's get our groove back, huh? You guys have had some tough combats Don't let this kill one of you Oh please, Lork, don't let this kill one of you and in

good to say my confidence isn't terribly high Inga is helping with the combat there we go there we go wait actually we should have been spell crafting the great sword on each of our three days. Oh, the Greatsword. Would you mind if we... Thank you, Matthew. All right, assuming Galabras gave you a bit of luck, you would have, what, six opportunities or four opportunities? Four.

This is the third day, unless we did it right. But let's just say... Let's say four. So four d20s. Nope. Oh, come on. Okay, there we go. 25.

Got it. All right. What is it? It is a, oh, this is fun. Yay. It is a weapon called Gorham's Thorn. Do you know I was literally thinking about calling it that when I didn't know what it was? Are you kidding me?

I almost called it the Vault of Thorns Longsword, then I was like, I should just call it the Thorn Longsword, and then I was like, but it's got Gorim on it. I call it Gorim's Thorn Longsword. No joke, like when I was like, I didn't have a name for it. I'm gonna tell you the story of this weapon and you're gonna lose your shit. Oh yeah?

The Orcs of Belkson are no strangers to fighting giants, and Orc priests of Gorim created a weapon called Gorim's Thorn for their faithful warriors Holy shit. Oh, wow. and places it within the Vault of Thorns to study it in hopes of creating their own version of Gorim's Thorn to use against the orcs. This forge-blackened, plus-one, keen greatsword... Oh, my God! Oh, my God.

It's so much better than the falchion, it's ridiculous. ...is festooned with religious iconography depicting glorious images of the Lord in iron. If Gorim is the wielder's patron. Oh! Dude, literally, did you ever tell me to take Gorim? No, you picked Gorim. Yeah, I just picked Gorim.

Holy shit. I am so glad I failed in my attempts to convert you to Desna Wars. Gorim is just such a huge half-orc god that I read about and I was like, well, who else is he going to take? An angry battle god, he's a half-orc. This is awesome. If Gorim is the

wielder's patron, Gorim's thorn gains an additional ability. When the wielder confirms a crit against any creature with the giant subtype, he can attempt to trip that target as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. Trip a giant?

Wow. And ignoring any size restrictions related to the target. Wow. Oh my god. The only catch is if the trip attempt fails by 10 or more, the wielder is knocked prone. Ooh. I'll take that risk.

But I mean, like, so you're going to have times. You could trip a giant. Yeah, yeah. A huge giant you could trip, but if you fail by ten or more, you fall in the process. Right, but the risk-reward is so, I mean, like. And that's when you crit,

and it's a plus one keen greatsword. Have we talked, we mentioned keen, but I don't think we. We've never actually explained it. Yeah. Do you want to? Yeah, because I can actually do this to my scimitar as well. Hey, let Matthew do it. Let Matthew do it. Matthew, you do it. Yeah. Do you want to? Yeah, because I can actually do this to my scimitar as well.

Let Matthew do it. Let Matthew do it. Matthew, you do it. Oh, okay. Matthew's got something to do. It is time for Matthew. Keen. Keen edition.

Keen edition. So keening. So as far as I can tell, keening expands the crit range of a weapon. Right, doubles it. Doubles it, right? So if you're, like for example, my scimitar crits 18 to 20, so it's a crit range of three. So if I were to use my arcane pool to keen it, it would get a crit range of 15 to 20. Meaning if you rolled a natural 15, it's a critical threat.

It makes crits happen all the time. Right. So, but a greatsword ordinarily crits on 19, 20. Right. So now it's 17 to 20. So if you roll a 17, 18,

19, 20, and you have a plus one to hit and damage, cause it's also a plus one long sword. Right. You will crit now. Critical threat. Critical threat.

Right. Oh, but here's the other thing though. Here's the other thing though. If you're fighting like a super powerful opponent, right? Like, like almost like that creature that we fought in in the vault of thorns if you roll a 17 and it

doesn't result in a hit on their ac it is a miss oh you have to start to roll a natural 20 to mean it always hits no matter what the ac is oh i didn't know so so if you if i roll a natural 17 i still have to tell you what the ac hit is if we're fighting some ridiculous giant. I still have to tell you the AC hit because it could still miss if it's that powerful. Oh, that's interesting. Okay. Yeah.

Only a natural 20 ever is an automatic hit. Right. Oh, yeah. You know what the easier way to explain it is? What if Lork is sickened or he's blinded or he has all these disadvantages? If I roll a 17 and it's like 23 and you're like, that's a miss, then it's a miss. It does not crit.

It's not even a threat. You don't even roll to confirm, yeah. But most of the time it's going to be pretty awesome. So the Falchion was 18 to 20, so I was super excited about that. And then it was just like I got this greatsword, which does much more damage. So I'm like, sweet. But I lose out on the crit range.

Nope. Turns out I gained damage and crit range now you know turns out I gain damage and crit range is a 2d6 2d6 damage plus your strength awesome plus 1.5 times your strength if you do a wield plus 1.5 plus one for the the magic I was thinking about this the second you started crying about not getting a plus one falchion when you beat Tark, Sage, Ginn. You read ahead? Will you just wait? There's an amazing weapon made specifically for

your character. So just to be clear, people have said longsword, greatsword. It's definitely a greatsword. You guys have both said both. What have I said? It's greatsword. You've both said longsword and greatsword. You said greatsword initially. I said greatsword initially. I hope I was long sword and great sword, so I'm just double checking. You said great sword initially. I said great sword initially.

I hope I was right or if this is going to be another red-leg fork incident. That would be a huge difference. Great sword. Yeah. Good. Much better. Much better. Which you can only wield two-handed, right?

Correct. And if anybody needs help expanding a crit range, it's a guy who rolls ones more than anybody else. Although Matthew's been stepping in to try and take that crown. It's Joe's fault. Like I said. Let's just focus and get killed by this mud elemental. Right, right, right. Guys, guys, you're both terrible.

Let's just play. All right, let's talk about initiative. You got Inga double wielding, and you've got a pretty dangerous, let me make this clear, this is an extremely dangerous creature. I rolled to see what kind of creature it would be,

and this is one of the hardest ones. Who got over 20? 21. 25 for Della. Whoa, 21 for Baron, 25 for Della. 20 for Lork. Oh, Lork and old Connick. And Gell?

18. Oh. Wow. Yeah, a bunch of high initiatives. Wow, Inga rolled a 14, so she is going last. Round one, huge Mud Elemental, Della. And I will tell you, you guys, it's going to threaten a lot of different spaces because of its size.

Yeah. It has a 15-foot reach. Oh, damn. So am I threatened now? Well, you guys walked in, it came out of the mud. So that means it threatens 20 feet all around it. Okay. Okay.

So first things first, Della's's gonna cast cat's grace on herself mm-hmm mm-hmm and then let's see what happens with a little magic missile action spell resistance negative wait you cast magic missile oh I guess nope What? Spell resistance? Negative. Wait, you cast Magic Missile and Cat's Grace? Nope, sorry. I was just putting that together. Wait a minute. Cat's Grace and can I do a knowledge check? You sound like one of Troy's bosses. Can I do a knowledge check to see if I know anything about it?

Sure, it's going to be knowledge... Local. Outsider. Plains. Knowledge planes. Do you know anything about planes, Della? In fact... Well, not about this.

As it turns out. And I'm currently outside of its range, right? No. You can't move or you're going to provoke. Unless you want to try. I'm going to take a five foot step back Okay Uh

Backing up Five foot step Yep Okay The party is all pretty much clumped together Less than twenty feet away from this thing And it is Baron's turn Baron's gonna five foot step back

And rapid shot Alright Baron Oh With my arm With my gun, that is not a misfire. Just this level, not a misfire. Roll the two. Oh, jeez. Not a misfire.

So it would have been a misfire if it was up close and deadly, right? No, it wouldn't have been. It would have been a misfire if I had used alchemical cartridges to reload, but since we've been on the road for four days, I only use alchemical cartridges if I'm in dire circumstances. If I need a free reload. There you go. Nice. 20 against touch AC.

That is a hit. Eight points of damage. Okay. See the bullet just... Piercing and bludgeoning. You're like, man, I don't think that did the damage I wanted it to do. Oh, no. And now it's its turn.

Oh, jeez. What should we do here? Who's up front there? Oh, who do you think? All right, Lorik, you're going down, buddy. Old Lorik Ironside. Going to do a couple of slams. Power attack slams. The damage is monstrous.

I just wanted to swing my sword one time. 20 to hit. That is a hit. Did you wear that plus one breastplate? Oh, it's still a hit. But I did not wear that yet. I should wear that. 18 points of damage on the first hit.

That's no good. Natty 19 on the second roll. Damn it. Slams down again, 17 points of damage. Oh, God. And you need to roll a... It's like I'm already just getting out of it again, like already getting out of the combat.

It's insane. Lork, you need to roll a very high DC and fortitude save. Fail. fail. You are covered in mud and you can't move. So you basically gain the entangled condition, which we've dealt with a lot lately. But he's not connected to the monster, just like left a glob of clay.

So there's like Clayface from the Batman animated series. Exactly. i love it i hate it but it's a cool monster um i will tell you this if you get hit by that again you will be made completely helpless just covered in mud uh if you fail a second fortitude save against it i think that's uh that's uh so it's a it's a save there's no chance to like break out though with entanglement it's all fortitude save against it. I think that's... So it's a save. There's no chance to break out, though, with entanglement. It's all fortitude base? No, you get a... I think you can get out of it like you normally can entanglement. Strength check.

Okay, cool. Which is good for Lork, but bad if he gets hit again. Now that's all it can do, and it's Lork's turn. So right now you're entangled. In mud. I mean, there's absolutely, once again, nothing I can do.

So I will attempt to break out of it, I guess. I mean, it's the only thing that makes any sense. I mean, I also go into a rage, by the way. Oh, yeah. All because it hits you below half? Yeah, in one round. An entangled creature can make a strength check as a full round action to break free.

Oh, boy. I can make a strength check as a... It doesn't matter! That's what's so crazy! I break out of it and he's still just standing there and smashing away at me. Whatever. I mean, unless it has another target to hit. It doesn't matter.

Okay, so strength check? Yeah. And is it passable? Sure. You're raging. Yeah. I am raging. Joe is rolling. Yep, raging. Joe is rolling, so.

Yep, fail. And there go the dice. He just threw. Flung his dice. Okay. And it is now Barry Connick Jr.'s turn. Stay. I think with the mud in your mouth, it's like.

Yeah. Galabras Uh, I'm gonna take a five foot step back And cast Spiritual Hammer Nice Oh baby Blue glowing hammer of Esgroth appears behind Or next to a worry button And uh, behind him

Okay And it attacks Uh, 18 Miss Or next to a worry button. And behind him. Okay. And it attacks. 18. Miss. Can I tell you my dream for this combat for you, Goliath? Sure. Sure.

Gary, the celestial dolphin, shows up at our darkest hour to turn the tide of battle against a level 20 Mungle. Wow, that's a great idea. I think I can make that happen. Alright, uh... It just gets murdered immediately. It is Inga's turn. And she is... Man, she is far

away. Five... Well, she's 15 feet away. So she's gonna have to make a attack, uh... Excuse me, she's gonna have to make acrobatics checks to try and get through there. And she have to make acrobatics checks to try and get through there, and she does not have acrobatics. So she's going to fire her bow. First attack, Natty19.

Yeah! Hits and does no damage. Second attack Misses Round two Della, what you gonna do? Magic missile Magic missile There you go

Magic missile It's ten points of damage What was that, four missiles? Four missiles Shoot out of each of my fingertips All right, all that damage went through And now it is Baron's turn each of my fingertips. All right, all that damage went through. And now it is Baron's turn.

Baron is gonna fire at him twice from the depths of hell. You're in the depths of hell? What it feels like getting out of one combat that killed us all into another. Is Inga up there with it? I know Inga

didn't want to provoke, so she just shot twice with her bow, yeah. 28 against that, JC. That is a hit. Eight points of damage. Same situation as before. 27 against that, JC. That's a hit. Oh, he's

firing now. Baron's back. Minimum damage, six points. Oh, boy. Not much damage at all. You can tell this thing has DR. All right. It is its turn. It moves up through the water. And attempts to attack Ingehild with a slam.

19 to hit. Hits her. Oh, boy. We hardly knew you. This is going to be rough on old Inga. Inga takes 22 points of damage. Oh, my God. And now she's got to roll a fortitude save.

This is a dwarf, so she's got a little bit better fortitude action, and she fails. Oh my god. Even with the plus two, yeah. So Ingehild is now entangled. And it is Lork's turn. You are still locked in. He's like inches away from the body of this thing based on how the battle is now.

It'd be pretty scary. I guess I'll just try to break out again. Okay. Well, can you just attack it from where you are? Can I? Is that... Can I act normally? Yeah, you're entangled.

Can I just take a minus two to hit? Yeah, you're entangled. Just take a minus two to hit. Yeah, minus two to hit. Yeah, absolutely. You just run the risk of it attacking you again and being completely helpless. There's a dex penalty as well. If Lork can swing at this thing, he's going to swing at it,

and he's going to do a power attack. Go for it. Because he's got to cut through that DR. With a new Gorim's Thorn. All right, come on. Blessings of Gorim. Come on! Come on! Oh my god! It's impossible.

Are you kidding? People are going to think we're making this up. One on the die. What was this? Oh my god. This is the life I live. Every day. Every day I get up and I

live me. In the words of Joe. Why do we even play? Why do we even play? Sometimes you wonder, man. Oh my Oh my god. It's so heartbreaking. Oh no. Oh no, do you attack the bear? I have to attack the bear, and it's a critical threat.

Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! So you basically go to swing it, and you whip around and hit Barry Connick Jr. This is making me sick. This makes me sick! Oh, my God, what if you kill it? So I have to confirm.

You're going to crit the bear with a magical greatsword. It's already a hit this is just to confirm the critical here comes a natural 20 by the way 18 oh yeah well I know my character's a see that's a confirm you both to the companion oh yeah oh actually no admit it's a myth it's a mess Oh, actually, 18, no. It's a miss. Oh, awesome. Because I bolster his AC by four.

So 18 is a miss if I do that. Well, it's still a hit. You just didn't confirm it. Yes, yes. It is. It's 2d6 plus 14. Oh, Jesus. Because it's a power attack.

Raging. Raging power attack. Oh, my God. Could be it could could be worse lost 18 points of damage oh my to my own animal when you're not critting yourself you're critting your best friend this is so awful but it's half right isn't it half half damage yeah uh bolster oh right yeah right yeah because it bolster companion increases his ac by four and then if it still hits you take half damage yeah yeah okay all right so that definitely could have been worse all right what is that barry connor junior gonna do i'm assume attack you yeah he

attacks right roll the bite god um you know he can't i mean he can't. I mean, he can't do anything. He just can't get to the mud creature because it's only river between. Oh, wait. You said it was swamp. So it's not like he can stand in it. Can he stand in it and attack? Four squares of movement to get into it. But, yeah, 20 feet of movement. So he can take a five-foot step into it.

So he'll step up into it. Yeah. I mean, it's not a five-foot step. That's an attack. It would provoke. Yeah, to get into there is going to yeah you okay with that no I'm not I'm just gonna tell him to stay okay I can tell no attack Galabras you're seeing all this go down it does not look good man I just cut

him open my own companion in a jaw John John John, John, John, John. Hey, oh, by any chance, does this creature have a giant subtype? Uh, no. Okay. Uh, so I go big and I can take a five foot step and attack. Ah, okay. Two handed. So Galabras is

big and in charge with a magical weapon. Nope. And just, school magical weapon. Nope. And she's gone. Nope. Nope. Oh, God. Ingehild will... Oh, Lord. Ingehild will attempt to get out, and she

fails. That is gonna be really bad for her. It's tough. Round three. Wait, can't she still shoot her bow? Oh, wait, my... Or her arrow. Your hammer. Yes, spiritual hammer. Where shoot her bow? Oh, wait. Or her arrow. Your hammer. Yes, spiritual hammer. Where's the weapon? Oh, fuck this fucking... Dice tray is a piece of crap.

It's at an angle, and so I was rolling it, and it keeps rolling downhill. And it was like, oh, 14. Oh, 17. Three, two, four. Fuck. So it was a hit? No, it was a hit no it's a poor hit if you add all those numbers together though that's yeah if i add them together that's brutal right it's a 34 uh no ingehild used her full-run action to try and escape and failed and now it is della's turn can i try another

knowledge check on this or is that not how the rules work? No, it's the only one, yeah. Does it appear to have eyes? Yeah. I mean, you can kind of see a face in there, but it's really hard to tell. All right. Are they going to hex it? Your weapon is going to have the best chance of hurting it. Now I just got to find a way to get in at it, you know? There's acrobatics in there.

What do I have to get? Oh, I guess I can move through Inga Hill Square. Just going to be covered in mud in two seconds. Yeah, all right. I'm going to do it. I'm going to move around and come at them from the other side so I don't have to go in the water. As I go, I'm going to spend an arcane pool point to...

I'm sorry. I'm not understanding what you're doing. How are you doing? There's a million threatened squares I'm going to have to roll acrobatics checks I'm going around The best way for you to get there And still if you want to attack

I'd have to go in the water though I wouldn't have the movement speed to get there So can I go around out of its range And this thing is threatening all the way to here You can go through You can go through my square. That's what I was thinking. I think the only move you can make right now without doing acrobatics check is backwards.

So if I go around and then come in and take two acrobatics checks. You would have to make three acrobatics checks to get right up to it. And you'd be moving at half speed. Well, hold on. Keep in mind, he only has to make an acrobatics check to avoid an attack of opportunity, which means you have to take an attack of opportunity for him to avoid it. Correct. So he doesn't have combat reflexes.

So if he passes the first one and you take it, so you can say, all right, he moves one square. Are you going to take an attack of opportunity? All right. Of course you will. Okay. So you roll to avoid it. 24. CMD.

Failed. Holy crap. It has an enormous CMD. Failed. Holy crap. It has an enormous CMD. Yeah. Okay. And it goes slamming down at you and hits. 17 on the die. Oh, boy.

21 points of damage. Oh, my God. Boom. Mudfist. This is brutal. That stops all movement, I'm guessing? No, you can now continue to move. Because it doesn't add that extra.

It has combat reflexes. Right. I don't think it'll move. Do you want to move another one? I don't think it'll have them. Matthew? I'm going to try it. All right.

Delos steps up. Nothing. Yeah! So now you can get within range. So you took the beating, but now you're in there. So as I'm approaching, I'm going to spend an arcane point for my arcana pool. Okay. To add shock to my flaming scimitar.

Oh, shock. So it's flaming and shocking. Yeah. Whoa. All right. And I'm going to spend another arcane point to give myself plus three on the attack. Well, you better make it count because I forgot to try and entrap you with the mud. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. If you add an arcane point, that's a swift

action. No matter what I do? Yeah. So you can't do another swift action in a round. Yes, that's true. That's true. Okay. So no plus three. Okay. It can't be a one. It's so fun to play a character who fights in melee. It's 12. It is. Isn't it miserable? Welcome to my world.

12 to hit. 12 does not hit. Jesus Christ. We just need some good rolls. We have rolled so badly. It's insane. Baron, you're up. Sorry, I'm eating pretzels.

Damn it, Baron. This is why you're dying. This is why the party's dying. You guys know what I'm eating pretzels Damn it Baron This is why you're dying This is why the party's dying You guys know what I'm gonna do Up close deadly Oh we rolled an 18 27 against Touch the sea Yep

Roll for damage That is 7 points of damage Oof This time I'm gonna get Up close and deadly Baron you're not You're not hurting it at all With that last one Gonna give it It's just barely doing any damage Just chip chip chipping away I'm going to get up close and deadly. Baron, you're not hurting it at all.

With that last one. I'm going to give it. It's just barely doing any damage. It's just chipping away. Well, someone's got to do it. Vork heard that. Vork heard that. Vork heard that. Vork heard that. Vork heard that. Vork heard that.

Oh, there you go. So that is a 26. That would have been two crits for Lark. Give me that die. You want the belt too? Is that enough for you? That is 13 points of damage. Oh, okay. Now we're talking.

The belt would have been wasted on Lork. You need a belt that lets you roll higher. I know, I know. Belt of plus five to all rolls. It is now going to do cleave. Oh, God. But it possesses the feat Great Cleave. Oh, so it just keeps going and going and going.

It just keeps trying to hit everybody. So once it hits, if it hits its first person, it gets a free attack against every adjacent character within its threat range, which is everyone except Baron. Jesus. This could be really, really bad because if you guys fail your fortitude saves,

you'll all be entrapped. Right. Yeah, we can't run. This is, this is rough. Okay, it's going to make one, now you should also know with cleave, it's AC does go down for a round of using cleave and it can only do this one attack.

If this attack hits, it will attack all of you. And it is going... Well, no, it's like a chain, I think. So you have to roll each hit. It'll stop if it misses anybody. Oh, it stops if you miss? Yeah, you get a free attack on each one, but each one you have to roll for.

Right. I see, so as long as it keeps hitting, it keeps going. What do you think you're playing, man, Diablo? Get out of here. Get the fuck out of here. Okay, here it goes. It's going after Lork. Oh, so he's, okay.

23 to hit. Damn. Damn it. Oh boy. You're going to take 21 points of damage. Oh God. And you need to roll a fortitude save or you will be completely helpless.

Like just completely covered in mud. I can't even begin. We should have just ran. Oh my god. That was amazing. I rolled the die and it flopped onto another die. Landed on top of it, completely evenly. With a natural 15. Oh wow. So what's the fortune say?

So that's 22. You... I'll tell you right now, you just barely made it. That's how fucking brutal this thing is. Jesus. now, you just barely made it. That's how fucking brutal this thing is. So you do not become helpless, but you know that you've got to get the hell out of there. Oh, no, I mean, I'm going to, yeah, I have five hit points, and I'm already raging.

So when I go out of that, I'm negative five hit points. Jeepers. All right, well, now it's just going to keep. But I'm already stuck, so it's like. This hit will be on Barry, well, now it's just going to keep. But I'm already stuck, so it's like. This hit will be on Barry, no, excuse me, on Giant Calabrus. 16 on the die. Hits for

rather 22 points of damage. Ooh, 17 points of damage. And now Giant Calabrus has to roll a fortitude save. All right. 19? Made it. save. All right. 19? Made it. Yeah.

Made it. Okay, next attack is Della. 23 or something. Damn. Right across. Nine, 22 points of damage as well, and you need to roll a Fortitude save. Holy crap.

This thing is just... Are we lagging behind in level or something? I know, seriously. of damage as well, and you need to roll a Fortitude save. This thing is just poof, poof, poof. Are we lagging behind in level or something? I know, seriously. Did we miss a bunch of experience points somewhere? 24 on the Fortitude save. Oh, you're great. Okay, so you're not entangled. So right now, Lork is the only one. Lork and

Galabras. No, excuse me, Galabras, you passed. So Lork is the only one that's entangled. Lork is going to be like, run! Next attack is on Ingehild. You must flee! If I get out of range, I can magic missile it some more. You must run. Hits Ingehild for 23 points of damage. Ingehild is down to 10 hit points.

Wait, to be fair, I do believe, is it only in your threat range for Cleave? They don't have to be adjacent? Adjacent to each other. They don't have to be adjacent to you? I don't believe so. I think as long as it's within your range. And then the last one will be on Barry Connick Jr. Oh, no, no, no.

It can't start back. It has to go back. Oh, it's all in one direction. Fair enough. I was just being nice by waiting for him until the end. So it just hit every single one of you for almost 20 points of damage each. Lork, you're up. And you know, Lork, that it has already used its attack of opportunity.

Right. From Della. Right, because you got into position this round. This is round three, this is insane. This is a random encounter! You act like you're surprised. Okay. I're surprised okay uh lork is gonna say run you must all flee we cannot face this foe and uh he is going to attack it he's he's not gonna take a full attack a full action to try to break out he's gonna try to swing power attack

if you go unconscious will you die yes 100 but he tells everyone to run out. He's gonna try to swing, power attack. At this thing. If you go unconscious will you die? Yes. 100%. But he tells everyone to run away and he's gonna try to take its attention. And it's so much more valuable if he swings at it with his power attack with this amazing sword.

And I'm so mad that I'm gonna die and never get to use this awesome sword. Oh! 23 to hit, power attack. Hit, don't forget it's AC is low. Is that a crit? No, it was a natty 16. Natty 17 would have been a hit.

Oh, come on. All right, that was a power attack, right? So close, yeah. Power attack. Raging power attack. Raging power attack. 24 points of damage. Oh, did you roll box scars?

Oh, no. Wow, 24 points of damage. 24 points with a magical weapon, if that does anything. Oh, boy. It is below half. Well, that was his last hurrah, so everybody run. Please run. Please run.

It is now Barry Connick Jr.'s turn. I tell him to run. You tell Barry Connick Jr. to flee. I'm going to push him to flee, and I don't know, he doesn't know that trick, so I've got to get a 14 on the die. I fail. So Barry Connick Jr. just stays there. Yeah.

Confused. What are you saying? I don't understand what you're saying. Your mouth is full of mud. Oh? By the way, I... God, now I can do 24 points of damage and I'm going to die! Right when I get it.

I forgot to roll Inga Hill's Fortitude save, but she saved, so she is not helpless. Okay. Which means she will be able to act in this round if she chooses to shoot instead of trying to break the Entangle. Galabras, you see Lork is probably gonna die if he falls out of his rage.

Yeah. Everybody just got crunched, including yourself. Flee! I'm, run! You need me to die. I'm serious, it's like, this is the DR, just got crunched, including yourself. Flee! Run! I'm serious. It's like, this is the DR, the reach, the cleave. I'm going to go back 30 feet and

channel. Galabras steps back. Seven points. Does that provoke? Oh, he doesn't provoke because it already used. It already used, yeah. Okay. All right. So Galabras backs out. Giant Galabras is now. Oh, and the hammer.

And the hammer, yes. 18. 18 hits because its AC is lowered. Nice. As a cleave. When you use cleave, you leave yourself open. Right. Five points of force damage.

So that cuts through. Boom, shakalaka. And your magical weapon also cut through. Okay, it is Ingehild's turn. What the hell? Ingehild, she can shoot straight through Della. It's going to give it plus two to its AC, right? Well, she can also hold and ready

for when Della gets out of the way Della might not get out of the way Right Well Della can take a five foot step But either way She can hold Yeah so Inge Hild's gonna hold Look for a clear shot

Because then she can do two shots You're not gonna flee? I would incur An attack of opportunity If I did No The attack of opportunities are down It's a new round when I go

Oh that's the top of the round. And if she hits me on the attack opportunity, I'm down. So I've got to try to do magical damage and see what I can do. Yeah. You're not wrong. If I'm alive, I'll take a five-foot step. Critical. It's time to get critical.

She can just get unentangled. She can do four attacks on this thing. She's got a dwarven war axe in one hand, a hand axe in the other, but she fucking untangled. It takes a round to get up. I'm sorry, she doesn't have a quick draw, so she wouldn't be able to do that in the next round. It's all these conditions. It's so brutal. Yeah, handicaps you.

Della, you're up. Della's going to swing with the scimitar, the flaming icy scimitar. Are you going to take a five foot step and move out of Inga's way, or are you going to stay? I'm going to do that after. Ah, okay. So swinging your flaming scimitar. Natural 20. I fucking knew it. I see symmetry you gotta take a five foot step and move out of Inga's way or you gonna do that after okay? So swinging your flaming scimitar natural 20 Across all types of down. Oh, all right, baby roll it confirm. Oh come on do it

14 to confirm you might be better Yeah, you might be better because that's max with all the the specials and everything so it's six fire and six frost it's six fire and six frost oh and that all cuts through dr and then magic weapon you don't need to roll it's a magic weapon and then roll your your attack damage no no no just max damage yeah oh so it will be 12 attack damage and magic weapon and then another 12 energy damage between fire and frost. So 24 total damage? Yeah. It's electricity. It's electricity and fire.

Well, it is not immune to those, so that all goes through. Yeah. 24 points of damage! She's like, ah! Do you step out of... She's not dead. Oh, come on. She's not dead. If you step out of the way, You might have just Maybe Inga could hit it

Five foot step Five foot step Inga Hill now acts Come on Inga Come on Inga And then it's gonna be Baron And then it's gonna be its turn Oh shit

Now it's AC stays lowered Until its next turn Right? Correct Yes Okay Yeah that's right So

Inga Hill's first shot Plus nine to hit 20 Yes Yes Yes Hits on the die She does Max damage

Nine points of damage This thing is almost ready to die Oh but not quite Almost ready to die I'll tell you right now It has six hit points left Oh fuck Second attack

Misses on the second attack Oh that's what we needed What's up to you Baron Baron Up close Up close Baron Put it all on the line Put it all on the second attack. Oh, that's what we needed. What's up to you, Baron? Baron! Up close, up close. Baron! Put it all on the line. Put it all on the line.

Kill it, Baron! Kill it! Kill it! I haven't seen a man die like you since Wilt Chamberlain. And I'm going to shoot him. He's tall. They're tall. They're tall.

That's all I'm saying. Yeah! Let me roll the damage. Yep. You got to roll at least 11 damage. That is 14 damage. And it dies. Yeah.

Amazing. Boom. Amazing. Boom. Oh my God. Holy shit. Wow. Oh my God.

I guess there's no such thing as a random encounter. Only horrifying, terrible encounters. Oh god. I check the body for gold. I'm just going to say, bottle cap, not running, ignoring Lork's advice and doing a critical. You know what? No. No, because you did it because you were afraid of the attack of opportunity.

That is not. My reasoning was that I could possibly kill it if I stayed. I have no problem with people lobbying for bottle caps in this game. You have to do it. I think the crit was skipped enough. I was at 11 hit points. One hit, I would have been down. Every single one of you could have died except Baron.

Dude, I had six. Yeah, I had six hit points when I just swung. So when you come out of your rage now, what happens? Well, I heal. Well, he healed. So when I come out of my rage, I have two out of 61. Oh, man. Well, I'm sorry.

Two out of 51. And you didn't go helpless. None of you went helpless. It was a DC 19 fortitude save to gain entangled. And then if you get hit again dc19 to become helpless oh and and now can we go to the boat i just want to go to the fucking boat man i never thought i'd want to be back on that boat i'm back on that death trap wait can i ask you a question? Did we have any indication of how much time passed when we emerged from the Vault of Thorns?

Yeah, we would have asked Ingerhild. She's still there, so I assume she wasn't weird. She was like, I mean, three, four days. So time passes normally. Okay. So it's not like Flight of the Navigator. Got it. So you guys battered and bruised.

My heart is still pounding. Battered, bruised, beaten, near death. Every single one of you. We never accounted for what happened to Gormley's body in that encounter. I assume they just dropped her in the mud. Dropped it. You guys are battered, beaten, bruised. Everyone's had a near-death experience.

Some more than others. Two have succumbed to death. And you march through the rest of the swamp. It starts getting much more damp, more waterways, very boggy. And then off in the distance, you see Rag's keelboat. He waited. He waited. And I just see Lork walking up to the jolly boat.

You can see it right there. And you've got Gormley's body in your hands. And you can see Rag blood tusks sort of pacing the deck. And Rag looks out across the water and sees you. And we'll pick it up here next time. That's a good place to stop. Oh, I need a drink. One to remember and one to forget. Understood.