The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 59 - Grate Expectations

Episode Date: July 12, 2016

After some reconnaissance, the party attempts to infiltrate Redlake Fort by way of its sewer. Surely nothing bad could happen in a centuries old sewer, right?! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. I'll tell you right now, before you start formulating your plan, this is a sandbox. This is a sandbox adventure. The team must form a plan of attack. We have to use subterfuge and hopefully someone can stealth better than Lork. I've recently acquired the ability to fly. What? Yes.

What? Let's move to the west wall with all haste. And put their faith in each other. Do you relay this to us? No, I keep it all to the grave, I'll take it. I beat it out of him. No, stop! With the gods on their side.

All of this feels fated. with the gods on their side. All of this feels fated, and more and more I've felt Desda's divine hand guiding this entire adventure. Anything is possible. I'm going to send you to the grave! The adventure reaches Red Lake Fort right now. Welcome back, everybody, to the newest episode of the Glass Cannon Podcast. It's episode 59 here today, and I am happy to introduce it to you.

Joe here, a.k.a. Lork Irontusk, and I am excited to just find out if we can get into this fort. Last week, I sort of rolled the dice a little bit, so to speak, by splitting the party, which you're never supposed to do. And I know this as a veteran player, but, you know, sometimes lork's going to lork and a ranger's going to range and that's how it's going to have to be. So I am very glad that it did not result in the death of Galabras, which I would have never forgiven myself for, but it was fun. I gotta admit it was fun. This week, we've got a great episode in store for you as we stand just literally hundreds of feet from our ultimate goal that we know so far in this campaign, Red Lake Fort. But before we get there,

I just have a few things I want to go over. First, I want to give a hearty thank you to James in Paris, France, who is spreading the love of the Glass Cannon Podcast through the English-speaking expat Pathfinder nerd community that is apparently taking over Paris. To the Shady Dragon Pathfinders of France, may you roll like Grant

and roleplay like Matthew. Seriously, guys, thank you so much for listening and spreading the word about the show. I also wanted to quickly shout out to our new DMs out there. You know, more and more we just get emails from people and we hear from people on the Twitch that are starting campaigns. Thanks to the Glass Cannon podcast. We have mentioned this before, but I just really wanted to give a personal shout out quickly to some of these GMs because GMing is for suckers and it always goes under appreciated. So we here at the GCP want to spread warm wishes of good luck to you. And we hope that

your real life friendships actually survive this experience. To Amanda Yessick's husband, good luck on your new Roll20 campaign. To Ryan Lubbers, who's starting a game with his sons, good luck to you. campaign. To Ryan Lubbers, who's starting a game with his sons, good luck to you. Paul Vingo, a police officer in the UK with 25 years of experience, who is starting his first campaign since he was 11, and he's doing it at a local game store with Randos. So you definitely have your work cut out for you, sir. Andrew Moores and his game of brand new players. And to Mike Slade, running his first Paizo adventure path after playing a decent amount of D&D. Welcome to the fold. We hope you have a great time and best of luck running that game. There are tons more out there. Obviously, you guys, you know who you are,

and I would love to mention you, but we've got to get to the show. Remember, if you're starting a new campaign and you have questions, let us know. We're here to help, whether it's by answering your emails or talking about your questions on the Twitch or on Cannon Fodder. The important thing to remember is that we were all rookie GMs at one point or another, so we've got to help each other out. Email us at glasscannonpodcast at gmail.com. Okay, let's get back to the story. When we ended last week, we had just gotten our first glimpse of Red Lake Fort. It's right there in the distance. Will we get in? How will we get in? And will Lork roll a natural one the first chance he gets? Quite possibly. Let's find out.

I hope you enjoy episode 59. Take it away, Troy. I was thinking back to when you guys met Ingrahild in Ghostlight Marsh, and Baron was like, it's a dwarf. Guys, guys, I got this. Oh, I had it already. And then he rolls up there, and she's clearly insane. I'm low, I'm low. And his first idea was, I'm low. And when that didn't work, and she came running,

almost killed Lor, he's, guys, guys, don't kill her. Please, just keep her alive. I know what I'll do. I will shoot her with a gun. I don't think this has been addressed enough. Yeah, does she have no memories of the event when she was crazy? It shocked me.

You guys should see the little repairs I have to do around the house. You should use a screwdriver or a hammer, but I'm constantly just shooting things and just breaking them more. I still don't understand what your plan was. I didn't then, and I still don't understand what your plan was. I didn't then, and I still don't. She seemed crazy.

Oh, yes, I know, but so did your plan. So maybe if you end up meeting Umlo at some point, someone else should do the talking. The real bummer. I may have failed. Hey, I'm your sister. He's like, I don't believe you. Bang, shoots him.

Guys, I just wanted to quiet him. I swift action load a flame bullet. We're out of flame bullets. There are no more flame bullets. The real bummer is when I tried to do that, you made me use diplomacy instead of profession fisherman. I was so pissed because I have no points in diplomacy. All right, so last time you guys narrowly escaped what could have been a pretty horrible situation.

Lork really got back into his Black Arrow days, ranged ahead, and unfortunately, maybe it's been a little while since he's done. This was not stealthy enough and the party got ambushed, but they were able to hold their own in time for Lork to come back and miss with his bow seven or eight times. I think that's correct. That's pretty accurate. That's pretty much everything turned out better than expected. Right.

And I was saying this to you guys before. I think this was, that was Del is coming out episode. In two rounds, she killed four creatures, three orcs and a giant, I believe. You got to listen back to the tape. It was pretty awesome. Just doop, doop, doop, doop, doop.

Baron did do most of the damage. She really did the heavy lifting on that giant. But she did 36 points of damage on one blow. Yeah, one, a single blow. A single attack. Like that had to make all of us go like, oh, fuck. That was a shocking grasp, right? Yeah, a single blow. A single attack. Like, that had to make all of us go like, oh, fuck. That was a shocking grasp, right?

Yeah. So the flaming, the scimitar was on fire. Then it was electrified and just was like, boom. This reminds me of that episode of The Simpsons

where Homer designed a car and he couldn't stop adding things onto it like the magus. It's just like your, your swords already on fire and you have to shock them to shoot lightning through it. I can't wait until I use the stick of price.

I can't wait until I use like frostbite and a flaming scimitar so I can both burn you and freeze you. Oh yeah. Fire and ice. The new fragrance from Della. Della. D apostrophe LA. Um, all right. So you guys, uh, staged a, from Della. Della, D apostrophe L-A.

All right, so you guys staged a insurrection, I guess. You made it look like the giant was killed by the orcs or vice versa. You put the spear or the falchions in the bullet holes. Yes. And then left one of the orcs there and hid the other bodies. You guys rested, I think, Galabras in the middle of the orcs there and hid the other bodies. You guys rested. I think Galabras, in the middle of the night,

when you were on watch, you heard another group come by. Yeah, I heard the giant footsteps. Yeah, and luckily they didn't find you, but you guys moved ahead. You're still pretty beat up. I don't know, maybe some of you were at full, but I don't think all of you were at full HP.

I know Ingra Hill isn't, but she's close because you guys did get a rest and Galabras burned some channels. But you certainly have all your powers back. Lork ranges ahead, sees the fort off in the distance. Comes back, tells the guys. You go back up there and you see this massive fort. You see the tributary of the Esk River is running up to a palisade of logs. They look to be about 10 foot high,

and all the logs are at least two feet wide, surrounding the entire fort. And this tributary of the Esk runs right up to the palisade, and there's a dam there. And on the map that Khaurean gave you, there was no dam. So you would assume that there was a moat surrounding the fort on the map that Calrion gave you, there was no dam. So you would assume that there was a moat surrounding the fort on the other side, and... That was fed

by the river. Fed by the river, and depending on how long this dam has been here, there's a good chance that moat's no longer there. But what's there in its place? Beyond the palisade, you can see a stony outcropping with the fort built atop that.

You can see that in the distance. It's higher up than the palisade. And then off towards the east, you guys are south of the fort, off to the east, you see a barbican. The drawbridge is down, and you see half a dozen orcs or so. They probably are bowmen up there, and they're not paying attention. They're cheering, cheering on something going on below them. And then you all, I think a couple of you, if not all of you, hear the sounds of like lots of cheering. Almost sounds like a wrestling match.

And then you hear the sound of an animal, and then the cry out, something cries out in dwarven and Ingerhild recognizes Amlo's voice. You guys are 500 feet away from Red Lake Fort. This is what you see. It's probably 2 p.m. I don't know how the glaring clock works. Works the same as ours. Days are 13 seconds long.

Resting is really efficient. So this, I'll tell you right now, before you start formulating your plan, this is, for all intents and purposes, a sandbox. This is a sandbox adventure. What is a sandbox adventure what is a sandbox i mean i mean like not just like oh my god not just like a box full of sand i assume right yes It is time for Nerded Sandbox. Have you ever played Grand Theft Auto? Yes.

That's a sandbox. Oh, so like you can just go in and reward? There's no plotted series of events. You can go around. There's a bunch of things you can do, and you get to choose what you do and in what order. It's like Zelda or GTA or Skyrim. Pretty much all modern video games at this point. It is also where a cat poops. Boom.

Drop the mic. Nerdage. Right there. So immediately what I do is try to talk in Dwarven in hushed tones to Angry Hills, and I say, I know you want to save him right now. Tears in her eyes. We got to

be smart about this if he's been alive this long he's gonna survive a long enough for us to make a plan i don't want her rushing ahead like she did before right she she looks at you and she looks at the group and you guys like nodding like he's right oh baron's right we have to think this through let's not do anything rash now let's blow that fucking dam with as much gunpowder. She thinks back to like when you guys were up against the marsh giant and she went running ahead

and it almost got you guys killed. That's when Gormley got attacked. So she's like, okay, I trust you, but please, we have to save my brother. He's clearly in danger. I didn't know you guys

knew Dwarven, by the way. That's incredible that you all responded to my consoling. Wow. You all heard Umlo. It's Umlo. We could tell what you were talking about. You guys have a map.

Unlike most adventurers, you have a map. Now, this map is from Kaurian's great-grandfather, who only spoke in hushed tones about the history of the downfall of Red Lake Fort. So you have a map. Now, you would think, and as generations have passed, a lot has changed, but you have a good sense of what the layout of this place is. The first change you can see is right in front of you,

the dam. Second change, it's overrun by orcs, and God knows what else. That's not on the map. Third change, it used overrun by orcs. And God knows what else. That's not on the map. Third change, it used to be a fork, and now it's a force. The strangest change of all. So you literally, it is a DM's nightmare. You can do whatever you want.

Lork's going to sort of just turn to the group and say, Lork's gonna sort of just turn to the group and say I think that it was Providence in some way here That we ran into that Calrian Blix I think she told us about that sewer grate for a reason I say we go in the sneaky way I don't know about walking through the front door I agree I prefer going in the back way I don't know about walking through the front door. I agree.

I prefer going in the back way than marching through a crowded courtyard full of belligerent orcs. Some great beasts and fighting. I do have a preemptive plan, if you all are game. I've recently acquired the ability to fly. What? Yes. What?

It is my third level domain spell from Desna. Wow! If you, if Della here is able to make me invisible for a short time, I could fly over the fortress and see what lies beneath me.

I love that. Del is very much for this plan. I love the shadows and the invisible. We are on the same wavelength, I believe. All right, Galabras, we do it. Sweet. Be very careful. Don't fall in there.

I've never flown before, so I'm a little nervous, but I'm also extremely excited. Awesome, so you can go straight up invisible for as long as you don't attack. How long can you fly? For five minutes. Five minutes. You probably can do a...

We should get a little closer probably. Yeah. You're going to want to creep up. As close as we can without... Triggering an encounter? Yeah, yeah, probably. Yeah. You're going to want to creep up. As close as we can without triggering an encounter. Can I do a perception check for ultramarine chasers? Just to see if there are... Central ultramarine chasers. So I'm going to say, you know,

obviously you've got to keep your distance. You don't want to draw attention, but you want to get a little closer to give a Galabras more time. Are there guards walking with the bows that are not looking at us directly in front of us, or are they off to the east? Off to the east, you see half a dozen orcs atop of the barbed wire.

So what I'm picturing is right in front of us, 500 feet in front of us, is a log wall, and then beyond that some distance we see the rising of the fort, and we don't see any enemy combatants between us and there. Or is it heavily wooded? What is between us and there i mean or is it like heavily wooded like what is between us and what's in that 500 feet so um you can see if the if the palisade is 10 feet up to the southwestern portion of the fort so the the the portion of the if you look to the east you see the barbican if you look the west, you see what appears to be a stone keep towering above. It's not huge, it doesn't take up the whole fort,

it takes up what would be most likely the southwest portion of the fort. But you see a stone keep. In the middle of the fort, you see a raised section and there are buildings there that sort of just jut out. And you can see on your map, it looks like there's a small portion that's jutting out and then courtyard on either side.

And then off in the far distance beyond the keep, there looks to be like a bell tower. And you can refer to the Tumblr, or if you're listening in late 2017, the YouTube channel. Or the new mode of social media. What is between us and the fort? Yeah, that was the actual question.

That was the question. The tree line ends, and it's open area. Open area. Okay. The hills are alive with the sound and music type stuff? Indeed. So would it be better for us, stealth-wise, to make our way as fast and as stealth-wise as possible

to the wall and hug the wall and then send Galabras up? Would we have a better chance of being not seen? It's a catch-22. So if you can stealthily make that happen, Galabras is going to have more time to see more things. I mean, I can fly 800 feet in a minute. Oh. Yeah, I think you should launch it from here.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, and you can fly for five minutes. Yeah. So maximum of, you want to get there and back in four minutes. Yes. Roll a perception check, and I'll let you know what you see. Okay. All right.

Della brandishes the wand, and she's- And I prepare, I begin the incantation for my spell. And Della says to Glabras, good luck. I smile. Boom. Invisible. Wand. And I lift up into the air.

And I think like, Galabras' faith has been bolstered so much by recent events. Even losing Gormley and Benverine. Just because of, well, I was thinking just like, we lost Gormley and Benverine and then all of a sudden, I was thinking just like, we lost Gormley and Ben Vereen.

And then all of a sudden, right in the next room, we purely seemingly by coincidence, we find a replacement. Incredible replacement. An incredible replacement. And it's just like, and, you know, us finding those items in the cave under true now that were meant specifically for each of us. And then all of this feels fated. And I have more and more. I felt Desda's divine hand guiding this entire adventure. And you getting through to rag too.

Like you. Yeah. And then I actually. Yeah. And Gormley. Yeah. And so I feel this Energy filling me this buoyancy

And I lift up in the air Lifted by Desna's hand and it's like It must be just Epiphanic for me And no one Could see me but I'm crying So

We feel the tears Must be raining No one can see me, but I'm crying. So we feel the tears drop. Must be raining. So yeah, fly over the... And you fly over, and what are we going to say? Do you want to go to the middle, or do you want to fly? I just want to make a loop around the whole perimeter. Swooping by, roll a perception check. Collapse!

Bit of luck yourself. 23. 23 lads. Bit of luck yourself. 23. 23. Okay. I'm going to give you the 411. To the east, you can see that the area surrounding the Barbican has been sectioned off into two sections. Two sections. And there looks to be a couple dozen, if not three dozen, orcs standing, watching, cheering over a fight between a small creature who looks completely outnumbered fighting three large, hairy animals.

They look to be bears. Behind the second section of the game. Three bear-like animals. Three bear-like animals. They look to be bears. Behind the second section of the gate. Three bear-like animals. Three bear-like animals. Possibly bears. Allegedly. Your perception wasn't high enough. Your only knowledge of a bear is Barry Connick Jr. As best you can see, they look to be bears.

Behind the second section that's like gated off of this area, is it an animal that's twice the size of the three creatures that are attacking the small creature? Within the Barbicon. Within the Barbicon. It's like a seagull hawk. Galabras turned into a seagull? Just saying, there's some birds up there.

There's also birds. The two, like I said, from outside to the southwest portion, you see a keep that looks to be two, maybe three levels high. You can't tell what part would be underground because the levels are, you know, it's an unnatural area. To the northwest portion, there's a bell tower that goes up at least two stories. And you see deformed, malformed creatures doing rounds on top of the bell tower. Gargoyles.

One of them looks like it has a hand coming out of its head. The other one looks like it has ears on its chest. Really fucked up stuff. You see a hill giant standing atop the middle section next to a bunch of boulders. And that middle section, you'll see on the map, there's a bunch of different doors. You don't know what's going on in there,

but on the upper level, you see a hill giant standing there. There are other creatures sentried throughout, and you see giants walking around the courtyards. And the last thing- All hill giants. They appear to be hill giants, similar to what you fought with the patrol that you just defeated. The last thing you see as you're timing yourself is that the moat is clearly gone.

And in its place are almost two dozen huts. Whoa. And on the northwest portion of the moat, there's a hut standing pretty much all by itself, and it stands out among all of them because it has like dyed fur pelts on top of it, and it's twice the size of any of the other huts. So there are huts to the,

many huts to the eastern portion where the moat was, more huts to the western portion, which is where that sewer grate is, and then on the northwest, pretty much by itself, is one very large hut with dyed animal pelts on it. And then you time yourself, fly back. Whew. That was a lot.

Wow. Good job. And when you return, you fly back, and you get a bottle cap. Yeah! Nice! Spend it all on a diplomacy check for Della. To get her to like me. So, do you relay this to us?

No, I keep it all as a secret it all to the grave i'll take it i beat it out of them yes i do i relay all are you done crying i hope you can swim yeah uh no i um once i hear about that took me a second Once I hear about These The moat that's filled with huts I ask If you saw

Like any type of Like giants or orcs Or what type of things you saw in there Like who was living there Yeah did I see any creatures I didn't see any creatures in the moat right Just the huts? Just huts?

Yeah, right now, there's just huts that are all empty, and you would presume that they're all watching. That the ones that are watching. Watching the fight, that's where they... This is very, like, Shadow of Mordor. That's what I was thinking. Right? So here's what Lork was thinking.

Massing an army. He was thinking, I was obviously thinking we wait till nightfall, sneak in under the cover of darkness into the sewer tunnel. But from what you've seen, it looks like maybe most of them have cleared out of the houses between the tree wall and the sewer grate. This may be our time to strike. This may be the ideal time to go.

I'm just worried because if you said that there's all these big buildings people could be living in and then there's this big group of tents in a moat, I just wonder what lives where and why not inside. That seems like nicer than a hut. Probably the giants aren't letting the orcs live inside. Yes. They're probably calling the shots. They're probably saying you're lucky to have housing at all but be inside the wall.

So can we drown these people to death in their sleep, please? You want to open up? You really do want to blow up the dam? I kind of like if that is where people live and people are asleep and we can get away with it, I would love to just... It'd be kind of an evil act, but... Ingerhild is like, did you see Umlo? Did you see Umlo up there?

I saw your brother. He was fighting two large bear-like creatures, possibly bears. I think the DM said three. Well, no, there was a third. The DM isn't listening to himself because there was a third creature in another enclosure that he was probably meant to fight,

but at the moment that I saw him, he was fighting two bear-like creatures, possibly bears. If the DM said two, he meant three. And there was another one. He was fighting three creatures! We'll talk about this off-air! She says, but he lives!

Was he holding his own? He looked outnumbered, which he clearly was. We must save him I think the dungeon master Possibly meant outmatched But he was yes He does not look like he's able to hold his own for very long

In any case Well so there's no real way To get to him right now Unless we want to Unless someone can We can helicopter our way in there and lift him out i said i can i mean ingrahild ingrahild that's a that's a suicide mission right now he told us there were three dozen orcs watching on that on that uh barbacoa whatever it is. Barbacon.

We can't possibly hope to defeat them all. We have to use subterfuge, and hopefully someone can stealth better than Lork as we go in and do that. We need to stop all this arguing right now and move to that black wall. All right, I trust you. Let's move to the west wall with all haste,

climb the wall, and make it into the sewer grate before they return to their huts. We must have faith that Desna will preserve your brother until we can rescue him. And we must have faith that Gorim will lead us in battle. No Desna. No Gorim. No Desna.

We start fighting. Roll for initiative. He was safe. Out, out, safe, safe, out. Okay, so you want to go the round way around, or do you want to rush up to the palisade and try to skirt? I want to go the round way around and cross the fence at the closest possible place to the sewer entrance.

We cross the fence. There is a gap in the moat where we know there are huts for some amount of feet. One, two, three, four, five, six huts pretty much on the western portion there. Yeah, and we should go now without wasting any more time. Okay, so you're not going to go straight up to the palisade. You're going to take the round way. Roundabout.

Now you know there are other patrols out there, so roll a stealth check. All right. All right. Everybody? Everybody. Everybody. Everybody.

20. Way to go go Della 17 for the lork 27 wait hold on I gotta check my characters

I gotta see what my bonus is but it's super high negative 5 so Ingra Hild is stifling sobs the whole way she's trying to steal herself and meanwhile galabras is clank clank clank clank dell is gonna use the wand of vanish on galabras to bump up his

stealth did you roll the negative five already or are you just saying that's your bonus that was no negative six is my bonus. I have one. Never mind. Okay, so as you're walking around, you see in the distance a patrol coming in the same direction that you're working. So you think you can make it to the wall, but you've got to move fast, and you know you're going to have to climb over this thing. Yeah.

So you get to the wall on the western portion of this palisade, 10 feet deep. These logs look like they've been here for centuries, but they're strong. And you're going to have to climb over unless you want to bore a hole through. Do we have a rope? Does anyone have a rope?

Yeah. It's ten feet high. Who's the strongest climber? It's going to be a DC 15 climb check to climb it. I got a plus six. That's better than me. I've got a 5. I've got a 4. Maybe a bit of luck. And then we can get we just need one person, that's all.

Well, Baron. I give Baron a bit of luck. How about you give me a bit of luck because if there's something on the other side I'm more equipped to fight hand to hand. Okay, I give Lork a bit of luck. That was zero argument from you, by the way. All right, got it.

Natural 18 on the die. All right, so Lork, you climb up, and it is a 20-foot drop down, but you make it down into the moat. So it was 10 feet up, and then 20 feet down to the bottom of the moat. And from there, it's 10 feet up to where the sewer grate is. Okay. So I'm gonna brace the rope. You And from there, it's 10 feet up to where the sewer grate is.

So I'm going to brace the rope. You're in there and you're surrounded by there are two huts to the right of you and four huts to the left of you. Is anyone coming out? No. I'm going to climb over as another stealthy person. Do I get a plus five with the rope?

It's DC five. So you automatically make it. Yeah, automatically. Okay. Della's going to hold and send Galabras over so she can, if the patrol gets there, she can buy him some time. Okay. Galabras.

All right. I am minus six to climb. So you got to get a- So whatever you want. I'm going to give myself a bit of luck. So you got to get 11 on the die. I rolled an 11 the first time. All right.

Could I say bit of luck? No, bit of luck. Okay, and then Della? Della. I mean, I get it automatically. All right, million dollar question. Where's Barry Connick Jr.? Oh, my God.

You tie the other end of the rope to him, and we just... This is a question I meant to ask you before we even started this Good thing we didn't bring You're bringing a small bear into this fort Yeah I guess There's already three bears in there He can just climb it he's a bear

Alright yeah I mean he's gonna follow you I mean he's not gonna use the rope What's his climb modifier I mean unless we really did like tie him to the rope And pull him over That'd be weird Hang him Climb modifier. I mean, unless we really did tie him to the rope and pull him over. That'd be weird. Hang him.

Yeah, no, I mean, we could do that. We could tie him to the rope in case he fell. And then let him climb up and just as a safeguard against taking fall. Roll a climb check for him. Because see, if he fails, his control's getting closer and seeing a bear trying to enter the fort, they might just kill it. Got it. 21. Yeah.

Or he comes over and just... It's like a tree. Yeah. Just like he climbs, scampers up. I want to see the long form birth certificate. Barry, you are rastafarian. Barry, keep the singing to a minimum. It's a stealth mission.

All right. So we get over to the other side. And Della, did you make it? I made it. All right. All right. Lork pulls the robe over. Adela, did you make it? I made it. All right. Lork pulls the robe over. And now, quick look around.

Perception. Quick perception. Perception. Can anyone else do it? 15 for Adela. Failed for Lork. 21. 30.

Ooh, 30. Cool. 30. Gentleman's 30. Ooh, 30. Cool. 30. Gentleman's 30. Everybody drink. You see the sewer grate in front of you. It is barred. It is four feet wide and barred.

If you're looking in, it looks like it slopes upward. Very tight quarters. With Galabras' 21, was that the highest, or was there a 30? 30. in, it looks like it slopes upward. Very tight quarters. With Galabras' 21, was that the highest, or was there a 30? 30. Baron. All the tents around you are eerily quiet.

Knowing what Galabras told you, that's not too strange. But you notice that they seem to be completely unused altogether. This is like a Bluth Company model house in the middle of nowhere from the rest of the building. Solid like a rock.

Oh, crap. Jesus, I wonder why. This is really weird. Well, it's like barracks. They're building the barracks to house an army. Well, do they look freshly constructed from my 30? Are you walking into them?

No. Are you checking them out? Lork is going to start moving over to the great. Oh, great. I kind of want to check them out. That seems incredibly strange. And if no one, if you said it looked like no one lived there?

It looked like they're completely unused. All right, I'll stealth over there. I'm going to vanish myself and walk into one. I'm going to stealth over there. Keep track of those vanishes. I got it in my head. I got it in here. Are there an open door?

Would I have to open the door? The huts are all open. They're rudely constructed. Crudely constructed. I walk in. Vanish. I walk in. Okay.

And would you roll for stealth? 14. You're a little loud going over there. Bella, you get over there. I'm invisible. No problem. But it doesn't matter how loud you are, Baron, because the tents are completely empty.

There is not a single sort of relic that would let you think that anyone is staying in that hut. And as you continue to go on these, check out these huts along this wall here, at least the six that you're nearest to near the grate. On the western wall. On the western wall.

They all appear to be completely empty. They don't even have sleeping furs. Survival check for tracks of any sort. Sure. 12. I'll roll as well. I'm gonna start using that neon die. You see tracks, but not.

No one's been living there. You don't get the sense that this is a heavily trafficked area. All right, I'm gonna move, Lork's gonna move to the grate. Okay. First survival check for tracks near or around going in or out of the grate. 17.

None. It is barred. Yeah. And then... It's an iron grate. Can I do a perception check on it for any weaknesses and look inside of it to see what I can see just beyond it? Ooh, there we go. 29.

It reeks of feces. It looks gray and green in there, and it slopes upward. So you would think this most likely is like the latrine. Yeah, poop shoot. And it's coming straight down. There's no visible method by which to move the grate or i mean to to open the grate there's no

latch there's no you don't see a latch you think you could probably break through and then single file squeeze your way through but you'd have no idea where it leads i mean you've got a map you can see it leads to some room that has at least back in the day had some sort of water supply um now knowing what you know seeing all the filth, it could be a toilet. You could go in there and just go straight up an orc's ass on the shitter. You have no idea, but it is possible.

Oh, I wish I could. If you could break this iron grate, you think that you guys would all have to squeeze it. All right, I would like to, Lork, does it seem feasible at all to time swings at the grate to the cheers from the pit? Bold, bold thought.

Just like, wait for it to be like. Like Shawshank, waiting for the thunder. Yes, yes, exactly. So you've seen that movie, you motherfucker. You've seen one good movie. I'm fucking re-upping your Netflix subscription. You know, it went up to $9.99.

Yeah. And I've never used it. Oh, my God. It's an iron grate. You know it's going to take a good beat. You're going to have to give it a really good beating. But sure, you can try and time it. I can give you bull strength, too.

Yes. I can also help, right? I could also go into a rage. You might want to save that. No, I might not want to. Well, it's the same bonus either way, right? With bull strength and rage. It is, just take the bull strength.

Yeah, but they stack. No, they don't. No, because they're both enhancement bonuses, right? I don't believe so. They don't stack at all. I've been a barbarian for so long. Okay. All right.

So, bull strength. Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom. This is so much fun. All right. So, I'll wait. Time it. I don't roll an attack roll, right? Now, I'll be honest with you.

This has a hardness and hit points. It also has a break DC. Right, but that's just a strength check, right? Yeah. That's a strength check. If you roll high enough, you could probably just rip it right off. And I can give you a bit of luck on that, too. Okay.

Let's try that to start. You can try that first. That's what he would want to do first if it was even feasible. So he'll grab it, try to pull the bars out. I mean, this guy is 260-some pounds. Right. His muscles are pulsing. You know, everything atrophied a little bit after all that time behind the desk.

But he's been adventuring for a few weeks now. Especially below the belt. You dropped a lot of weight. That's what the girls in True Now say. Oh! We're having fun all right bit of luck strength check and was there anything else or was it just bit of love a bit of luck and you got a bottle bottle cap yes and I'll turn in the bottle cap I love upping me get rid of doubles this list it's for 20 it. So that's four rolls.

Four D20s. And what's your strength bonus? That's what Joe needs. Plus five. All right. For a Joe roll, you need two bottle caps. For a Joe roll.

All right. So I'm turning in the bottle cap. Here we go. On the table. Here we go. 20. Just tell me what you're up. No.

20, no. Okay. Uh-oh. It's going to be tough. I'm sure you're going to roll all four. You rolled a 15 and a six.. 20 no, okay. Uh-oh. It's gonna be tough. I'm sure you're gonna roll all four. You rolled a 15 and a six. Oh, so you're rolling two dice four times? No, wait, two dice, how many times?

Two dice, two times. Okay, oh wow. One plus two plus two plus one. Yeah, here we go. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no! Natural 20! Woo! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Yeah! 25. Off in the distance, you hear. What a badass. You're like distance, you hear, you're like waiting, waiting, waiting, and you hear a big, like, rousing cheer from the crowd. Chords of his muscles just go, fire up. And you rip the grate off. Yes!

That floor. Yes! You're just standing there. You've got an eye of the strength of a bull. Great in your hands. Della walks up and just pokes your bicep. Yeah. I have the strength of a bull. Great in your hands. Della walks up and just pokes your bicep. Oh, man.

Impressive. You take damage. All right. Go, go, go. He tells everybody to go, and he's going to climb in last and pull the grate behind him. All right, so this is a squeezing situation, similar to the boat.

A squeezing shit situation. Squeezing shit, yeah. It is. It's Andy Dufresne so this is he climbed through a mile of shit so Ingerhild smelling like shit squeezing Ingerhild's right at home uh Ingerhild yeah this is right this is her uh Ingerhild and Baron probably aren't squeezing actually

uh four feet wide nope yeah four feet tall yeah I mean you're but it's four feet wide. Right. Yeah, I guess... Yeah, so the dwarves are okay. So who wants to go first?

Lork is definitely squeezing. I think... I'll go first. I think... Oh, I was going to say Baron. Oh, sure. But if you want to go first, then risk your life for these people you just met.

Whatever you want. Yes, I will. I'll go first. All right, so Della wants to go first. She's going to squeeze, which I think is a minus two to your AC, for whatever that matters. And what else? I'll adjust it on my... You have to move slowly. I think you have to...

Everything's difficult terrain. We'll look it up. But anyways... Can I check for traps as I go? You can. 18. You're just looking for traps? Yep. No.

Okay. Okay, now he's looking for magical weapons. All right, so you... What else am I looking for? You inch your way in, and you're about 10 feet in, and the corridor turns. As you can see on the map, it turns. Is it dim?

Can I see? It's darkness. But, I mean, you have dark vision, yeah? I have low light vision. Low light vision? It dark vision, yeah? I have low light vision. Low light vision? You could, it's... I can... I have low light vision.

I could cast light if I needed to. Yeah, so as you turn, you know, you were still getting light from the outside until you got to the wall, but as you turn, it's dark up ahead. So you're gonna, you know, that's what you're dealing with. You would say, according to the map, assuming you looked at it before you went in, you're 15 feet away from the circular room. Then everyone's right behind me?

Uh-huh. All right, I'm gonna... Is anyone going in after her, or are you waiting for her to get... Everybody's going in immediately. Head to foot. Boom, boom, boom. Chuck Norris, Delta Force. Okay. Della, so you keep going?

I'll cast light on my, something around my wrist. So you're just like really tight in this little pipe, basically, and you just cast light on your scimitar. Roll a perception check. 14. 14. Okay. Yeah, you can see the room opens up about 15 feet ahead.

Do I hear anything? You don't hear a sound. Okay, I'm going to proceed stealthily towards the room. Okay. I'll roll. Are you going to put your bright scimitar away? It's on my, I cast it on my, like my bracelet, so I'm going to, I can duck it under my sleeve if I need to.

Okay. 18, stealth. You start stealthing ahead. You're maybe 10 feet away from the opening, and all of a sudden, you feel burning surrounding your body, and you look, and there is a grayish ooze rising up from the tunnel around you.

And with your 14 perception, a DC 15, you would have needed to see it, and instead you walked right in it, and you are grappled by a gray ooze. Oh, God. It's about to deal damage, and you're about to roll initiative. Oh, man!

Son of a bitch! Speaking of Anish, they do stack Bull Strength and Rage. They're two different bonuses. Rage is morale bonus. Bull Strength is enhancement bonus. Oh, yeah, all right. Oh, yeah!

Nice! So I'm going to go to Demigod Strength. We'll see. You might still be Bull Strength, right? Oh, I certainly am, yeah. Yeah, you are, right? For five minutes. Yeah.

Yeah, so squeezing is minus four to hit, minus four AC. Oh, shit. What is your bonus? No, no, no. All right, so everybody take that into account. What is your bonus to strength with your belt? Bonus to... Well, there is no standing bonus,

but when I go into a rage it's plus four plus four right it's just like mage armor you cannot add plus four on top of it trust me i've been through this but they're different bonuses i know they're different bonuses but this is totally different no it's a raging array because he goes into a race that's where the strength comes from which is a morale bonus right and the bull strength is an enhancement bonus, so that's two different types of bonuses. Yeah, you can stack those. Yeah. That's why the wording is different.

But this is as the makings of a we are stupid. Stop stalling. You've got news to kill. Yeah, and are we all in the tunnel now? I would assume it's Della, Baron, Ingrahild, Lork, Galabras. Lork is last, because I was pulling the grate behind me closed. All right. So Della, she's made the turn.

Baron just reached the wall. Inga is right behind him. Galabras is just about to enter, and Lork is still outside. Okay. And obviously, Periconic Jr. at your side. Yes. Okay. Anybody over 30?

All right. Let's 30? All right. Let's go. All right. Come on. Move it along. Who got 25 plus? 20 plus? Come on.

20 plus? What do you want from me? I got 14. 15 plus? 14 for the Della. So 14. Good person to go first-ish. First-ish.

Anybody? All right. Baron, what'd you get? 13. 13. Gal? Six. you get? 13. 13. Gal? Six. Lork?

Seven. Okay. Della! Della, Della, Della. So what am I, is it all around me? Is it around my legs? Is it around, like, how much of me is covered in ooze? You basically walked right into it, and where you didn't notice it,

DC 15 to notice it, it basically automatically deals a slam attack to you, and then will attempt to grab you as well for free. Okay. So it's like, it was on the floor, and I stepped on it, and it was just like, bam! Yeah, I mean, you're crawling through here. You're not really walking. I mean, you're, I should say, you're...

We're stooped. We're stooped, yeah. You're getting through there, and this thing just... You know, a better idea is it came from the ceiling and just, like, landed on you. That makes more sense. We are stooped. We are stooped.

Ped. It deals nine points of regular damage and two points of acid damage. Okay. So 11 to start, plus that one continues to burn me, right? Your clothing begins to sear off of your body, and your armor takes two points of acid damage as well. And correct me if I'm wrong, acid bypasses DR?

It does. I like how you think I have DR. No, but your armor has a natural hardness, and this bypasses the hardness of that armor. So at a certain point, this acid could make your armor broken. Oh, okay. And now it will attempt, it can just, and you're basically going to be naked pretty soon,

just covered by armor, and then your armor could end up being ineffectual as well. Galabras refuses to look. Absolutely not looking. He's doing one of those things, hand over the eye, with the eye peeking out. Oh, Mras refuses to look. Absolutely not looking. He's doing one of those things, hand over the eye, with the eye peeking out. I'm not looking! No, no.

Della and Galabras have been spending a lot of time together. We have. What kind of armor are you wearing? Mithril. Mithril what? Oh, Mithril. Mithril change shirt. Oh, yeah, that'll last forever.

It attempts to grapple. I thought it was already grappled. No, it gets a free attempt to grapple. I mean, if you'd rather just be grappled. I'd rather be rolled. Natural one. Whoa. That's huge.

So it sears you. It does not grapple. And now round one, Della. Swift action, light my scimitar on fire. Step to the side, swing to hit. To the side. Like there's a side. Can I move five feet away from it so it's not on top of me?

No. You're in a four-foot space. But imagine you're not sharing the space. Like it's in front of you. It's in front of me, okay. For the purposes of the game. Critical threat. Critical threat!

Tell us back in town. Roll to confirm. 19 to confirm. Conf that's awesome boom thank god you didn't oh you know what not confirmed what they're immune to crit ooze it's immune to critical hits it's still a hit okay still a definite hit. I didn't read it. Max damage hit? I'll read it. It wasn't a natural 20. Oh. Oh, man, that would have been awesome. 13 damage. 13 damage. You strike it with...

Three of which is fire. You strike it with your scimitar. Oh, three of which is fire? Yep. Yeah. So it's immune to fire, so it's only 10 damage. You strike it with the scimitar, and your scimitar starts melting and takes six points only 10 damage. You strike it with the scimitar, and your scimitar starts melting

and takes six points of acid damage. Oh, jeez. Holy shit. How many hit points does your scimitar have? I don't know. I could be wrong, but I believe your scimitar gains the broken condition. It's almost certainly broken.

Okay, good thing I have a second scimitar. Just so you know, talking is a free action. Baron, you're up. I immediately share this information with everybody. How far away am I from this ooze? In the meantime, check out your armor and check out the Google Armor and Google Simitar. How far are you away?

So you have crawled in. You've made the turn. Della's butt is right in front of your face, and the ooze is made the turn Della's butt is right in front of your face and the ooze is 10 you know of five feet beyond Della so it's you Della ooze and then immediately behind me is probably Lorca Ingerhild or someone immediately behind you is Ingerhild right around the corner all right I'm going to and it's a cube where I could shoot at it without hitting or would that be crazy uh I think it's crazy i think it's plus

four minus four so you know a cumulative minus eight i would think yeah um you know she it's gonna get the uh ac bonus and you're shooting into melee so yeah okay so it's gonna it gets a it gets a plus four to its a plus two to its ac and, and you have minus four to your attack. I think it's plus four. No, plus two. You're right, so it's six. Plus two to the AC, minus four to attack. So just minus four.

Plus four to this. I'm just doing regular two-time attack. That's a nine against that, Chasey. That is a hit. Yeah! There you go, buddy. Fifteen points of damage. Nice buddy. 15 points of damage. Nice.

15 points of damage. Bludgeoning and piercing, remember. My second attack is a minus six, so this is a negative one to whatever I roll. Oh, shit. That counts, that counts.

That is an eight against Touch AC. Eight against Touch AC still hits. Yeah! There we go. This thing is an easy target. 12 points of damage. Just like the gelatinous cube. Yeah! There we go. This thing's an easy target. 12 points of damage.

Just like the gelatinous cube. Yeah, this is all the way back. Same traits, except much more acidic. See episode nine of the Glass Cannon Podcast. On the YouTube channel. Yeah! In several months. 12 points of damage.

The ooze now goes to slam Della. What is the ooze's initiative bonus? I have to know. Minus five. I knew it. 16 to hit. Just hits. Because of the squeezing.

Oh, because of squeezing. Oh, boy. Seven points of regular damage. Three points of the squeezing. Oh, because of squeezing. Oh, boy. Seven points of regular damage, three points of acid damage, and yet again that acid damage goes to your armor. Your clothes are completely burnt away now. Wait a minute, just a quick question. You know 100% that Della takes the damage and her armor takes the damage? I do.

Okay. Acid. Oh, good question. You have to damage? I do. Okay. Acid. Oh, good question. You have to roll a reflex save. You can avoid this. So roll for the first time that this happened. That's not how acid works at all in the real world. Right, but you can kind of run.

Well, you can keep your armor off you. 22 reflexes. All right, so the first time, it did not. Okay. But it hit your armor. The first time, it did not hit your armor. Oh, okay. Okay, now see if you were able to pull your weapon out

and avoid the weapon damage. Sorry, I forgot to do this. 15. The weapon takes damage. And now for this attack, see if your clothing and armor take damage. Natural 20. All right, so you're okay.

So just, your clothing is all still there, your armor is completely intact, but your weapon has still taken six points of acid damage. You're awesome. It's melting right in front of your face. Magical weapon. Yeah, because it's magical, it gets a plus to its HP. What's the condition for broken?

Minus two to hit and damage. But no, it has to lose half of its, it has to be at less than half of its hit points. I think it's not broken yet, but I'm figuring that out. Magic weapon three plus one magic, you get a plus ten to hit points. Above Ingerhild. Oh. Another one drops down.

Oh. Oh, come on! Drops down, squeezes between Ingerhild and Galabras. Oh, behind Ingerhild. Yeah, behind Ingerhild, right before Galabras was there. It jumps and lands right behind. Now it's basically flanked, but you can't flank a noose. Flanked by Galabras was there, it jumps and lands right behind. Now it's basically flanked, but you can't flank a noose. Flanked by Galabras and Ingrahild.

It hits Ingrahild, and it deals six points of regular damage, two points of acid damage. She attempts to reflex save and fails. So Ingrahild's hair is starting to burn. Her clothing's starting to burn. Her armor is starting to take damage. And it is Lork and Barry Connick Jr.'s turn. You are outside of this.

Well, safe to say that when it dropped behind Ingra Hild, she hadn't made the turn yet, so I can see it. Yeah, well, Galabras is in front of you. He's in there. But I can see it. Yeah, you can see it. I want to do a knowledge dungeoneering check. Okay.

On the Creech. It's my highest knowledge bonus. Come on, Lork. 26. Yeah! I want to know what it's vulnerable to. Come on. Hit me.

Oh, man. Tell him everything! It is... The thing... I'll tell you what it is. It's very easy to hit. Yeah. But...

Ton of hit points. It can damage anything you try to hit it with. Right. It is immune to almost everything. It's immune to cold, immune to crit, immune to fire, immune to flanking, immune to paralysis, immune to poison, immune to polymorph, immune to precision damage. Sorry, Baron. Immune to sleep, immune to stunning.

And it's transparent, which is why Della walked right into it. Okay. So it has no weaknesses except low AC. It's easy to hit. So the worst, if you had just seen it before you went in, you guys could have just stayed back and cleared it out. Does it have any DR? It does not. Okay.

You rolled a 26. That is what you know. So I'll pass this on to Galabras. Galabras, save your magic. It's immune to almost every form of energy damage there is. Would it be immune to magic missile? Nothing's immune to magic missile, except for spell resistance. But also Della, I would assume Della's kind of shouting, too, and Lorca's going to be a little freaked out about that.

My scimitar! My scimitar! He's going to be like, Della, be careful! Lorca's going to be a little freaked out about that. My scimitar! My scimitar! He's going to be like, Della, be careful! And he's going to try to lift Barry Connick Jr., put him in the hole right behind Galabras, and just try to slam this thing in. Okay. Also, I'm looking around.

Nobody's coming from outside the grate. You don't see anything, no. Okay. But that loud roar you heard as you pulled the grate out sounded like the end of something. Everybody's clapping. That loud roar you heard as you pulled the grate out sounded like the end of something. Everybody's clapping. Standing ovation for the victory of Umlo. All right, so I'm going to...

Maybe Jim Currier showed up and scored an ace. Russell Crowe. Lork is going to drop the grate, quick draw draw his bow and take an impossible shot. One single impossible shot. It's the only shot Lorx knows how to take. Oh, man. Natural one. I am not even kidding you right now.

Motherfucker. Your first attack roll in Red Lake Forest. Fucking dice rolling house. Lorx, well, look, he expended a lot of energy. Hold on, let me just do the confirmation first, because I might... So it is through... Oh, it's only through Galabras, so it's minus six.

Well, I am Barry Connick Jr. You put Barry Connick Jr. Oh, but you can shoot over Barry Connick Jr. He's tiny. So minus six, so 17 to hit. So it does not confirm. It's not a confirmed bubble. So it's just a miss. Okay. And that's it. That minus six was 17 to hit. So it does not confirm. It's not a confirmed bubble. So it's just a miss.

Yeah. Okay. And that's it. That's all you can do. That's all you can do. That's all I can do. Galabras. You are.

Yeah, I couldn't put Barry Connick Jr. in and do that, too. Right in front of you, you saw it attack Ingerhild. Ingerhild. You had a second attack, though, right? No, because I had the great. I dropped the great. I dropped the great. I was like, I lifted Barry Connick Jr. Just take one shot.

So am I adjacent to the ooze right now? Yes. Okay. Then I am going. Ooze number two. I'm going to swing at it with the hammer. It's going to acid your hammer. That's super magic, though.

Ten. Ten hits. All right. Do serious damage. Ten points of damage. Ten points of damage. Reflexing. Now, it's made of stone, right?

Oskroth's hammer? I would think it's made of stone, not metal, right? You're asking me? Well, no, I'm asking, what's a warhammer made of? It can be made of many different things But if it's an ancient weapon it could be made of stone I think it's made out of jello Be careful what you say now because then it's going to be

Canon Yeah I'm saying it's made of stone I think it might be I think that actually may have been specified when we found it Yeah I'm uh So you don't have to roll a reflex save It's only metal and wood Fuck yeah bro The scimitar is not broken by the way Yeah, so you don't have to roll a reflex save. It's only metal and wood.

Fuck yeah, bro. All right. The scimitar is not broken, by the way. The scimitar is not broken. It is damaged. Yeah. Because it's plus one. What's its hit points?

15. 15. 10 points of damage, Calabros, you said? Very close. Very close. Yes. Okay. All right. Now, guys, remember your squeezing.

Remember your AC drops and whatnot. What was it? A minus four to AC and what else? Minus four to hit. Oh, minus four to hit. Okay. So luckily on Hero Lab, you can just hit the thing. To Della. Magic missile. Magic missile. Yes! It's the one right in front of you.

Concentration check. Do I have space behind me to take a move action to move away from me? No. Baron is right behind you. The one thing you don't have is space. Yeah, you're completely jammed in. All right. Concentration. 23.

You're good. All right. Does it have a low CMD, too, just out of curiosity? Don't worry about it. Okay. I was pushing my luck. I gave you enough. I was like, maybe you'll just answer without thinking.

12 points of damage. There you go. 12 points of damage. And it dies. Oh, nice! All right, that's huge. That's huge. Della, the single greatest member of the party. Baron, that was clutch of you plugging it with some bullets there,

because, I mean, its next attack on Della could have been enough to take her out. Certainly take the weapon. Thank you, sir. Oh, wait a minute, the weapon. She's Magic Missile. Oh, you're right, I'm sorry. And how many magic missiles was it?

Three. It's about time he used three. Yeah. Fucking cheater. See the We Are Stupid column for reference. Baron, you're up. I stand by my grammar. Baron, so there's now, that ooze just

just melts away, you've got five feet between you and Della. Around the corner, you can heargerhild crying out, but you almost don't even have a shot. But it's around the corner and I can move to the corner and look around. Can he do an about face? Can you do an about face? Sure. I'm going to whip

my duster around and turn around and walk to that corner and look around and see if I have a shot. Okay. You've got a shot. It's going to be tough, but you know these things are easy to hit. Minus six. You tell me what you roll.

Natural. How does a natural 20 sound? That sounds like a hit. Obviously not a crit, but a definite hit. But it's max damage. Max damage, yeah. Oh, so that's 17 points of damage. 17 points of damage. All yeah. Oh, so that's 17 points of damage. 17 points of damage.

Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! All right. Oh, man. This team has got it together. That die rolled for forever, and it was like, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll. 20. It was a dramatic 20. And I get to roll again.

Well, you didn't. Well, you know, you didn't about face. You did a whole of the about face and whatnot. I still get two attacks. Oh, right. No five-foot steps in this situation. Right, right. Oh, right. No five foot steps in this situation. Right, right, right. Okay.

Ooze's turn. It turns around. It doesn't have a voice like that, but let's just say it does. And it tries to slam Galab. Is it also Southie Boston? No, that's a Howie thing. Tries to slam Galab.

Fumbles. Oh, my God. All right, all right. These oozes have not seen enemies in a long time. Certainly not enemies with magical hammers. It's also probably not seen any Emilys with magical hammers either. That's also correct, Troy. All right. This one's called Unintentional Move.

Move ten feet in a random direction and provoke attacks if opportunity is normal. Whoa. So we'll say it just backs up really quick. It tries to go for you and it backs up and it provokes from Galabras. It would be Galabras

and Ingrahild. Right? It's moving fast. It can't back up because it's scrunched in between Galabras and Ingrahild. Do you know what I mean?

Here's what it would do. I think it provokes from Galabras and Ingrahild and doesn't move. That's what I think. It tries to move. Yeah. Let's make it... Oh my... Too bad it's what I think. It tries to move. Yeah. Let's make it.

Oh, my. Too bad it's a noose. I did roll a natural 20. Too bad it's a noose. Max damage. Nice job, dude. So that's 10. 10 points of damage.

Ingerhild strikes out at it. Natty 18. Yeah. This is with her war hammer here. This is so awesome. And she hits it. She does not kill it. Barry Connick Jr. and Lork.

All right. Lork is going to tell Barry Connick Jr. to stay, and he's going to take another shot at it. Well, he's got his bow now, so he'll take two shots. Okay. Yeah, I'm going to take two shots. I'm not gonna do the actually no it's it's AC is so low I'm gonna do rapid shot so three shots and it's minus six to hit right so eight to hit eight to hit hits yeah this is so easy. Eight to hit, hits.

Five points of damage. Five points of damage. Still kicking. Still kicking. Arrow burns into smoke. Arrow just dissipates. 11 hits. 11 hits. And eight points of damage.

And the ooze dies. Yeah! All right. Yeah. See, these are the things Lork needs to attack. Oozes. Yeah.

That's another one. You guys have had a lot of instances like that could have been really bad, especially when it starts doing damage to your weapons and your armor. I mean, that damage is still there. You're going to have to use mending and whatnot.

Well, we don't really because unless something else does damage to our weapon, which isn't likely, it's going to be fine. Well, you know, I think at the end of the day. We will eventually have to fix it.

Skid, you're a bit of a gambler. You have a problem, Skid. All right, I'm gonna tell everyone if we can to keep moving forward, Lurk is going to sheathe his bow, grab the grate, and try to climb in and close the grate as soon as possible. Okay, so you guys continue climbing in.

Della, you're the first one in to that room. You know, your clothing is intact, but your armor's a little bit, no, your armor's good too, your scimitar is. Scimitar is a little warped. It doesn't quite look as cool as it used to look. Warped, I was gonna warp one. But you're the first one in. Baron comes up behind you, Ingrahild.

You see just a cesspool. There is a three-foot deep pool of foul water filling this circular room, and it's draining down where you just climbed through. You can see 10 feet up a hole in the ceiling leading to the next floor. Lork is sitting there holding the grate

and Lork, you start to feel like you're sitting there waiting in this shit water and you start to feel like a little bit of sickness coming on and then Baron,

you start to feel it and Galabras and Ingrahild and Della. There's this water having fought in it and mucked around in it is contaminating you. And then, Lork, just as you're pulling that grate shut, you hear in the distance around the corner a voice. Maybe two voices. Here! Heal them up like you always do. Maybe two voices. Here!

Heal them up like you always do. General's orders. Oh. Wow. After the fight, they just heal them. Roll a fortitude save. Next week. Oh! Fuck you, Troy! I wanna know who's talking! I wanna know who's talking.

Motherfucker. It's not for children. Sorry. With the gods on their side, anything is possible. The adventure reaches Red Lake Fort. Right now. Wait, wait. Red Lake Fort. Hold on. Hold on. This is Joe.

Hey, bud. Reading the copy and Red Lake Fort. I thought it was fork. Oh, man. No, it's right. It's right. The fork thing was a mistake from a while ago. Troy made it, actually.

But it is actually supposed to be fort. So that's why I wrote I wrote Fort oh so yeah thanks for checking but it's it's good

here you go alright man thanks dude thanks bye the adventure reaches Red Lake Fort right now