The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 60 - Silence of the BLAMs

Episode Date: July 19, 2016

Our heroes ascend a watchtower within the fort to confront the malformed sentries atop it. Will they be able to defeat their foes though without Barron's magic hand-banger alerting the whole compound? For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast So we climb up You all climb up And then you're like Alright now Ingerhold you're up Right And she just disappears An unexpected change in the plan

Leaves the party searching for alternate options Foot lockers Hope knives Falsions Additional companions Is there a silencer in Galarian? I said Well

Solutions get creative. I'm gonna duct tape my axe to a bullet. And then fire that. That's amazing, Barry! So clever! I've never seen that before, that's awesome! Combat gets brutal. 21 points of damage.

And Barry Connick Jr. gets suspicious. Fake the moon landing! Doo doo doo doo doo! Oh, wow! And Barry Connick Jr. gets suspicious. Fake the moon landing. Do-do-do-do-do. Oh, wow. Fake the moon landing. Is that a real conspiracy thing? Yes, yes. The Kubrick did it?

The adventure continues. I know you have a written script in front of you. I make up shit left and right. You have no idea. All right. Right now. Greetings and salutations, all. It is I, your friend calabras finn skids hello uh man i cannot wait to get to this episode it is so fun and i also have a special announcement but first uh i don't think we've ever properly acknowledged bill story on facebook and jay combs capped awesome 55 on Twitter both suggested

Rooney Mara as a casting choice for Della never truly acknowledge him both you guys get bottle caps also want to thank Noah for writing in and telling us the story of how his brother Grim here I hope I'm pronouncing that right introduced him to gaming and

I just I want to give a special shout out on his behalf to all the siblings everywhere older siblings mostly who have introduced their their other siblings through gaming i know that's how that's how a lot of us got into it as i said my uncle in my case but all the siblings and family members have done that you guys are great and i also want to give a very special shout out to secret headquarters game store in Tallahassee on Monroe street. Uh, I was just down in Florida and I stepped in to drop off some GCP postcards and, uh, there was a woman behind the counter and, uh, turns out she was the owner. And she told us the whole story of,

uh, how, how this, this store secret headquarters was her game store growing up in Tallahassee. headquarters was her game store growing up in tallahassee and the previous owner got uh very sick and um he passed away and uh the owner the the new owner she was about ready to go to college at fsu and she had all this money saved up and she talked to her mom she said like why don't i take all this money that we've been saving for college and use it to buy my childhood game store and she did and she it is it is it is a beacon it is a this place is amazing they have a special a custom gaming room in the back um that's done up like a medieval dungeon um that uh art students from fsu are coming in like on their own time to like make it look really cool there's a big screen in there they have comics they have games they have everything

and uh she's so sweet and so if anybody is in the florida panhandle area uh i'm sorry but uh you definitely go check out secret headquarters tennessee that tallahassee that place is amazing also this week we are so excited to announce that paizo the publisher of pathfinder is so pleased about all the new players that are joining in on pathfinder because of Glass Cannon, they have generously sent us some giveaways for our listeners. So, to kick things off this week, we are offering one of our lucky fans a free core rulebook. Now, this is the essential book that you need to start getting into Pathfinder.

But in classic Glass Cannon podcast fashion, we are not just giving it away for free. When have we ever given anything away for free except for all the things we've given away for free? We're having another contest, and trust me, you are going to love this one. I can't talk about it yet, but check out our Twitter account at Glass Cannon Pod this coming Friday, July 22nd at 12 p.m. Eastern Standard Time for details on how to enter the contest. Now, if you're not following us on Twitter already, make sure you get that done this week. And once the rules of the contest have been posted, you can start submitting your entries to be eligible to win your own brand new copy of the Pathfinder Core Rulebook. And you know what? We're going to ruin its resale value by

signing it. All the members of the GCP crew will sign your core rulebook. So now that's out of the way, let's all enjoy episode 60, Silence of the Blams. I can't believe it took 60 episodes to end on the results of a Fortitude save. That is a first. That's a first. That is a first. It's a first. That is a first. It's about damn time. Fans asked and we gave it to them.

People were clamoring for us to end on a fortitude save for so long. Anybody can end on a reflex save. It ended before the fortitude save. That's true. We both said yeah. So you're 100% wrong. I worded it incorrectly. Yes.

Words are important. I'm not much for words speaking Ready to drink I'm smart Words are pretty important I'm smart Yeah words are pretty important To a podcast

Is Baron still holding Howie By the way During all of this I was about to ask you that Before the episode ended Before I just thought about that Where

I told you When he last sat on me I said You know I can't I don't know tongues, bro. Come on, bro. And so I said, I'm going to let him stay there, and if he wants to, he can. And, like, I'll give him little pieces of whiskey cheese.

You were the last person to end up with him. Yeah. No, after the funeral. Nobody else took him. And, I mean, unless horse girl over here also has an affinity for invertebrates. The scorpion whisperer next to me. Provided I survive, I can take familiars. It's a mate of speed.

Wow. I like Baron having the scorpion. We don't need to keep making Della Gormley. Troy tried several times. It's a new know. Sure, I tried several times. It's a new character. There's something about, you know, this. Country western guy. Yeah, this country western guy with a scorpion.

Yeah. It makes perfect sense. Can I please have an armadillo companion that just gives orcs leprosy? You know what? You'll lose the scorpion. You've asked for too much. You know what?

I do want to say real quick, and I won't waste a lot of time on this, but you can do that, which I never realized until I was, I was researching everything. All the bonuses I have as a ranger with Barry Connick Jr., that stuff is all bonuses because I'm a ranger. The regular rules, they allow for if you put points and handle animal, you can just get animals and bring them with you. It's just the roles are harder.

It's harder to handle them. It's harder to teach them tricks. But you can totally do it. And if you want them to be a combat companion, things that are free actions for Joe are move or standard actions for us. But you can do it. It's a fun way to make whatever character you want.

That's what I think Pathfinder does so well is give you so many options. The problem is Howie's allure really comes from his voice. And if you can't speak with him, what's the point? Well, we gotta figure out a way. There's gotta be a way. There's gotta be a way.

He might know Gormley's last words. He could. What if? They're probably like, ah, oh no, I'm falling. Gormley's last words are, lork's next.

Yeah, no shit. I think if Baron took a level in Druid, I think you can cast speak with animals at first level. Finally, finally. That'll be after his rogue level in Druid, I think you can cast Speak with Animals at first level. Finally. That'll be after his rogue level when he Tri-Casts?

You've been wanting Tri-Casters. He wants that rogue level so bad. Give it to me. Give it to me. Speaking of give it to me, why don't you all give me a Fortitude save? Oh, come on. Fuck off.

Jumping right in. Let's just go right into the old Fortitude. Is this a spell or spell-like ability? I saw some cheering gestures and some sighs and shaking of the head. and right in. Let's just go right into the old 46. Is this a spell or spell-like ability? I saw some cheering gestures and some sighs and shaking of heads. I don't think it's a spell, right? It's just shit. Just poop. It's not a spell. It's just poop.

Is it a poison? It is a disease. Is this a poo-related effect? It's a disease. All right, what do we get? 18. 18.

24. 22. 20 even for Lork. What about Barry Connick Jr.? Ooh, Barry Connick! We're always forgetting Barry. Don't fall prey to the poo. How do I always forget?

Ladies and gentlemen. That he's gonna roll. Barry Connick Jr. I hope I don't get infected by this shit. I rolled a 12. DC 12. Barry Connick Jr. I hope I don't get infected by this shit. I rolled a 12. DC 12. Oh, yeah.

Stanley Kubrick helped. Fake the moon landing. Do, do, do, do, do. Oh, wow. Fake the moon landing. Is that a real conspiracy thing? Yeah, it is, yeah. The Kubrick did it?

The Kubrick helped. Apparently there's clues Like scattered Throughout the shining The flag was blowing Badoo-ba Flag was blowing Why there's nowhere Up there

Up there Stanley Kubrick One of America's Greatest natural born Citizens of all time And hey By the way I just finished a play

With fucking Keir D'Elai Who played Or Keir D'Elai Pardon played Or Keir D'Elai Pardon me Who played fucking Dave Bowman In 2001

A Space Odyssey That's true He told me all kinds of Fucking Stanley Kubrick stories You can read them on my blog Which I don't Which you don't have Which I haven't updated

Since 2002 Yeah yeah I wish you guys could see Skid right now His GeoCities blog Skid is laying With a mic Hey man look

Oh we have a photo for the Tumblr when this gets released. Let me explain. Alright, I've been working, I've been unemployed basically for four months. I just recently,

We're really getting off topic. I got a new, I know, but I just, I'll allow it, I'll allow it. I got a new job, I worked a 55 hour week.

I'm fucking tired as shit, I'm in a paralegal, I'm not trained to be one. For 55 hours, I'm gonna fucking relax for a fucking minute. Good for you. So we all saved. You all saved. Alright.

Lork, you heard something though. As you were pulling that great tot just to make sure no one would find you. Although you weren't super nervous about it. Those huts that you saw were empty and devoid of any signs of life sure there were some tracks here and there but didn't look like a highly uh trafficked area you heard um heal them up like you always do general's orders i believe that's what you heard. Yeah. It continues. You just do what you always do

or the general will give you a couple more lashings. Heal the dumb dwarf. Oh, shit. And this is half, you hear this maybe around the corner. So north and where the palisade turns in the moat. Does only Lork hear this? And I just hear it.

I don't see anyone. You don't see anyone, but you... Can I... So I'm... Jeez, I mean, I'm holding the grate. Like, they could see my big green hands. I think I kind of want to, like... Can I pull it and kind of twist it

into some sort of snug position? You hear this in the distance, around the corner. You don't see anyone. You can look. Alright, so if I look, I don't see anything. No, this is happening around the corner. Okay. Around the north

corner. Alright, so I think that he's, they're probably, they have some sort of cleric prisoner that they're forcing to heal Umlo after fights. And I would want to translate this or tell Ingrahild about this, you know, in order to, you know, just kind of say, I think it's, when he's injured,

I think they heal him up so he can fight again. It's horrible, but I think he's living through it We've got to stop it, though We have to go to him Is he right there? I can't see him We can't Did you hear his voice?

No, he's not speaking I said, who's healing him? I can't see, there's no But whoever it is, it's against their will So they might be some sort of ally Yeah, we could get them on our side They could help us That said, if we break out of prisoners now

He's safe for now, he's being healed If we break him out now, they'll know we're here We can't, we can't go yet Wait, can we just go check on him? Shh, keep your voice down Can we just go check on him? And stealthily just see if they're alone And just check on him. Shh, keep your voice down. Can we just go check on him? And stealthily just see if they're alone? And just check on him?

No, we can't. We got in this place through the deception we needed. We have to move further into the fort. He's being healed. That's what we know. I grab her and I say, Endorven, Torag didn't build the dwarves in a day.

And we aren't going to rescue your brother in one either. But we know for now he's being healed and he's not dead. And he hasn't died in weeks. This is better than he ever could have been in the Den of Thorns. What was it called? It was a vault. Vault of Thorns, yes. And I say all that in Dwarven.

In the Vault of Thorns. And. And I say all that in Dwarven. In the Vault of Thorns. And Lorch says, Baron's right. Whatever he's saying, he's right. He's been speaking Dwarven the whole time, it turns out. Can I, can just one of you go check? There's no one out here. You said yourself these huts are empty and there's no one living here. There's no one

coming back here. Can't one of you just go look and check on him? Ingra Hilt. You have the power to turn invisible. Ingrahild. Shut your fucking mouth. Shut the fuck up. Galabras has got a lippy. Oh my god.

I'm not joking. Shut the fuck up. It's not even angry, it's another level. This is angry Galabras. Let's just see what happens. Alright? Shut your fucking mouth.

Alright, can we keep listening? Is there anything else that happens? Do we hear anything else? Um, you know, more of the same, like, just... But no one walks past the grate. No one walks past that. They don't walk, I'm right in front of us.

Wherever they came, and you can remember from the map, they were coming most likely from the Barbican over the north portion. Now, Galabras knows there's all tents there. Maybe the colored tent, the dyed colored tent, maybe? If you relay this information to Galabros, which I'm sure you do, as you were telling Ingrahild, Galabros would put two and two together and think most likely this is happening

in the area of where that colored tent with the pelts was that was set off from the rest of the tents. Most likely this is happening in the area with the colored tents. While he's doing that in the background. Ingrahilt! It's obvious that something terrible is happening to Umlo and we're gonna save

him for you. But if we try to save him right now, we'll only get him killed. We need to go about this the right way. Please, stay calm. I need your axe. Follow me into the fort, and we'll get him around the back way. My axe is yours.

I just don't understand why you can't check on him. Does anyone... Would you like me to? Is that what we're relating here? No, she's just having a conversation. Go for it, man, if you want to. Worked out well. I don't think it's worked out.

It worked out well with those oozes. Lork gives you a hard no, shaking his head. All right. We got the grade in place. We've got this far. No, I agree with you. Lork is saying we need to get out of this tunnel. We need to get out because it's like, you know, that smell, that's going to keep happening.

So we need to get out of here. I do want to move forward and go forward as quickly as Lork would like to. However, I would like to sense motive on why, outside of the obvious, Ingra Hilde is asking for this. That's a good idea. Why she wants to go see her brother? Yeah, if there's any reason. Why she wants to jeopardize the whole mission. Yeah, maybe she's trying to. But why she wants to, like, jeopardize the whole mission. Yeah, maybe she's trying to jeopardize the mission.

Sure, you can, yeah, roll a sense motive on that. Natural two. I mean, it's... She's a traitor! Can you cure blindness? I mean, you've been with her for a while right now, so if you're feeling like,

this seems strange, why is she forcing the issue? She feels like, from what Lork is relaying to her, that this is a safe opportunity to go check up on her brother, and she just doesn't understand why you wouldn't allow her to do that. She's not going to break away from you to do it, but it's taking all of her energy not to do it.

We know she's not evil, quote evil. We've already established that. You've got to understand, she fought with her brother. She forced him into this journey. He wanted to just live the life of a simple cook. She forced him into this, and he wanted to go to be with her to go find this ancient tomb of their ancestor. They got attacked by hags and a marsh giant. She got cast with a schizophrenic.

She got cast as Rachel Dratch. She got cast as Rachel Dratch. She got cast as Rachel Dratch. Which is hugely traumatic. She became schizophrenic. She lost control of her brother. Her brother has now somehow been captured by this group and brought here, and now she is inches away from him

and doesn't understand why she can't just go check and see if it's safe. That's her motive. Outside of character, just this is clearly totally hysterical. Three dozen orcs watching her brother fight earlier.

This place has weird, freakish people with ears growing out of their chest walking along things with hell giants everywhere. We just... It drives me crazy that she would even want to... I understand why, but we need to have everything we can behind us before we act. I mean, you've all made your case to her.

She's not going to. Yeah, we don't need to keep going over it. So I'm going to move into the room, into the pool room. Okay. And there's a ledge, right, like around the pool that I can walk on? Yeah, so there's like a pool in the middle of the room just full of feeded water, and there's like a space you can walk around it. And then 10 feet up or so, there's a hole in the ceiling.

Okay, so I just want to move so I can get everyone in the room so they can also see the hole. Okay. You know, you all saved from whatever that disease was. Can we all get within that room? Yeah, it's very cramped. So imagine you're in this circular room, and you're all back against the wall, like that old carnival ride, the Roundup. Remember where you all stick to the wall?

Kind of like that, but a really small room, and you're all in this cylinder. The Gravitron? We called it a Roundup in Boston. Was there a big central part filled with feces when you did it? It was Boston. If you went to Revere. Yeah, Revere. If you went to a It was Boston. If you went to Revere. Yeah, Revere. I went to a carnival in Revere.

We called it the Big Dig where I was from. It's not a bug, it's a feature. Alright, so you're in this cesspool. So it's in the center of the room, ten feet up.

Delia, the first one in the room. Something I did not mention to you last time, but now that your eyes have adjusted to the room, you see a skeleton leaning against the wall. Ooh. The skeleton of what looks like a child. Oh, fuck.

Jesus. And the skull is turned around like its neck was snapped. Oh, it's Linda Blair. I was like, what's going on here? Can I do a perception on the skeleton? Absolutely.

25. 25. There are small vestiges of clothing still left on it but all the skin and muscle has eroded away but on one of its fingers its pinky, what would have been its pinky

is an ornate signet ring and the symbol on the ring Galabras, you immediately recognize it as matching the heraldry of Kaurian Blix. Ah. Oh. Yes.

I remember she showed us. This may be a vestige of her family. In fact, it certainly is. Perhaps this is a time-traveling version of herself that fell into a toilet and was possessed by a demon and played by Linda Blair. I was hoping it was that little boy

that tricked us into going further underneath the church. Off Dan, off Dan, yeah. It looks, you know, we're not that lucky. From what it looks like, it looks like this skeleton probably fell into this room. It's like half submerged in the pool, and maybe it broke its neck. That's the sense that you're getting.

This was her grandfather, right? Her great-grandfather was at Red Lake. And he was the lord commander of the fort at the time? No, her great-grandfather was at the fort, and his father was something. Oh, okay. And so she wants to know about her ancestor, but her great-grandfather

would never talk about it. Can we do a heel check to estimate how long this skeleton would have been down here? Sure, that's right up your alley. Yeah. Ooh, 27. 27? You would, just doing the math in your head, you would assume that this skeleton was around the same age

as her great-grandfather would have been at the time. Oh, wow. When he escaped the fort. Wow. I ask. Oh, so he was a kid when he left. That's what you would think, knowing what Valerie had told you. Well, but did she say?

She didn't. He would never talk about it. But, like like you can do the math but her great-grandfather could not have been a oh well he could have escaped and then he probably didn't have children at the time he left the fort yeah okay no no i got it i had always assumed that he was like i assumed this you know an adult warrior or something in the fort but if his father if his father was the... Okay. I was thinking of it the wrong way, too.

Maybe this is like his brother or something. I'm feeling some body snatcher shit. Also... Let's keep moving. I just asked Ella... I've come across a lot of skeletons wearing weird jewelry

in shit-filled tunnels before. Is there anything magical about this ring to you? Did it seem magical to me? Do you want me to roll it? It's not. It's probably worth something. Probably worth more to Kaurian than it is to a simple shopkeep. But you don't recognize the herald because you never met her.

I'm not of this world. I know this symbol. So looking at this hole up, the hole in the ceiling is the only way out, presumably. Back the way you came and up, and it's a pretty tough climb to get to the top, as you can see from the skeleton. Lork would like to boost Baron up to the hole. The old ten fingers? Ten-figinger discount?

Is that what you'd call it? I can only take four in at once right now. With Baron's permission, of course. Lurk is not going to lift a dwarf without the dwarf's permission. So you're going to aid him in his climb check. You want to throw a dwarf? Yes. Nobody tosses a...

If you want to call it that, you could also... I think I should be able to add my strength. I'm just picking him up to a place where he can grab on. So if I can lift him, he should be able to easily grab it, right? Clearly this is a huge gamble, and it should absolutely be a die roll. It's 10 feet up, and it's a DC 15 climb check. So I'm going to try and lift him through the hole. Yeah, I'm just going to try to lift him up so that he can get high enough to grab on and pull himself up.

Okay. If you fail the strength check, he's going to fall and take falling damage and land in the cesspool. Yeah. I take falling damage from six feet? 1d6. You know, it's only a couple points of damage, but there's stakes for trying to do this. Yeah. Small stakes, but

it's up to you, Lork. What's your strength bonus, bro? It's plus three. Upon learning his strength bonus, say fuck no go ahead this will be fun all right uh i'd love him to have a bit of luck yeah hey what the hell he's a lucky guy to lift a small dwarf four feet over his head a bit of luck. I love it. 22. Oh! Natty 19.

All right. So he lifts you up. You're able to grab through this small hole and pull yourself up into the next room. I'll tell you what you see. Skid, I didn't see you check off the bit of luck. I'm remembering. Yeah, definitely. It would take all my strength

to lean forward at this point and i really don't want we're gonna have to listen back to this episode to figure it out there are tiles the whole room is tiled alternating tiles of blue like a light light blue and white several of which are cracked, missing, just covering the walls, floor, the whole thing. Another circular chamber. And then obviously this gaping hole, which leads down. It's a latrine. Is there any plumbing or piping or anything I could tie that rope I have to? No.

Roll a perception check. 22. As you were being lifted up by Lork, you saw a boot wedged in the wall of the shaft as you were being lifted up. Can I reach to it where I am now? Yeah, sure. You can reach down into the hole and just kind of pull it up.

I pull it out. And it's a child's boot. Oh, jeez. Surprise. Does it look like they broke his or her neck and then threw them down here? Or does it look like they broke their neck on the fall? Well, whatever.

You see a boot lodged in the wall and a broken neck corpse. Maybe he tried to climb down, climb away and got stuck. Foot got stuck. Slipped out of the boot. Either way, can you... Is there an exit from this room where I am now?

Yep, there is a set of double doors in front of you. Okay. Open them. I'll open them. Be bold, man. Stealthily. Okay, roll a stealth check. 20.

Stealthily open the doors. Throw down the rope! And it reveals a small chamber. Oh my god, that piano! The chamber thins to the north, and there's one door there, and then to the right, there is a set of double doors,

and the hallway is wider. So to the north, five foot a set of double doors, and the hallway is wider. So to the north, five-foot-wide hallway to a door. To the east, ten-foot-wide double door. Now, is there anything I can tie a rope to from here that would... Nothing. Nothing. This place is... Is there any way that I can help the rest of my party climb up easily?

Because I would like them to come with me. You can hold the rope yourself. I am so weak. They have to climb up. So, you know, this is complicated rule. This is up to your rule. It's a DC5 with a rope. But, you know, if a character is just holding it, probably some sort of strength check.

Well, but I mean, they can be boosted too by someone standing down below. Right. What if I use my last, and this is only because at sixth level, the DC is kind of, I just want to use my last tangle foot bag to fasten the rope in like a corner where the two walls meet.

It is glue. It is just glue. It would keep it in place. Okay. The DC is so low that I think most creatures I would want to use it against would pass it, right? I mean, yeah, and here's what I would argue. You're not just using the glue for the strength check. You glue it to the wall and you hold it. Sure. You know what I using the glue for the strength check. You glue it to the wall, and you hold it.

Sure. You know what I mean? It's both things combined. Yeah. Okay, I mean, so I think Galabras is the only one that probably has to roll. The rest of you are, unless you want to chuck Ben Vereen up. Oh, not Ben Vereen. Sorry.

Oh, man. Come on. Barry Connick Jr. up there. It's been 10 episodes. Let him rest in peace. Goodbye, Tanglefoot Bag. Yeah, see, this is a- Gormley had some, so you have more.

Oh, great. It's tough with animal companions, but I mean, I can't just throw them up. Do the same thing you did before. Tie the rope around him and let him try to climb. Do you have a backpack? There's nothing in return to climb. Yeah, there's really nothing. There's just a hole in the ceiling.

I can tie him to myself myself Almost like a backpack maybe It's like you have a little baby Bjorn Fasten the bear claws around your neck Oh my god Bjorn is old English for bear Boom Troy We just fist talked to me

We just fist bumped Can I get the bear up Or do you want me to just Do you want me to just Let his throat No you can get the bear up We owe him that much. All right.

Lork is, oh, man. You know what? Lork is going to just stay down again, and he's going to boost Galabras, boost Della onto the rope, and just give him some feat of a head start, and then Baron holding the rope, they can climb the rest of the way with a DC5. The only one who needs your help, though, is Galabras, right?

Yeah, so I'm sure Della could do it. Della just grabs the rope and climbs it. I could also fly if... Lork's like, Della, I'll help! I'll help! Della! And then she just... Scampers up. And then I'll lift Galabras at least part of the way.

Boost. Boost him part of the way. All right, and then Lork will least part of the way. Boost. Boost him part of the way. All right, and then Lork will lastly climb up the rope. Okay. And you see the same thing that Baron saw. So he opened the doors, and there's one five-foot door and then one double door, two ends of a small hallway. Yep.

It's a small room. You can see it on your... All right. Actually, you can't see it on your map. Oh, and we forgot about Ingerhild. So we'll just leave her there. So whatever. We bring her up, too.

I tie the rope gently around her neck and drag her up. All right. She's incredibly valuable in battle. Ingerhild waits and leaves

back down the sewer grate. Ingerhild! So we climb up. You all climb up. And then you're like, all right, now, Ingerhild, you're up. You all climb up. And then you're like, all right, now Ingerhold, you're up. Right, and she looks at you. And she just disappears.

And bolts back down. Should I chase her? I want to chase her. No, let her go. I just don't want her to tell them where we are. Lorca's going to grab you. She says... Not forcefully, but she's just like...

She says, I'm sorry. He just says, let her go. We should keep moving. It is a hasty decision that I'm not sure of in any way, but that's what he does. She is crazy, and we either have to let her control our party or just move on.

She also tried to cut my head off. At worst, she dies and is a distraction. Let's move forward. Lork's chaotic neutral. Let's go. I think we absolutely have to move forward. Lork's chaotic neutral. Let's go. I think we absolutely have to move forward. If she's at risk right now, we've got to get at it. So now we have to go double time.

Go, go, go, go, go. Normally, Baron would want to save her, and these being the only dwarves I met in an orc-infested thing, of course I want to, but being around her for all these days, she's nuts. I am devoted to the people around me. Normally I would try to save her, but she's going to get us all killed.

I let her go. You can reach out dramatically like, no! Yeah, and then forget about her. And then work is holding you back like, Baron, she's not thinking straight. Come on. And I curse in Dwarvish,

like the longest curse you've ever heard. And then I move. It was pretty clear she was torn and she just couldn't help herself. Yeah, well, now, you know what? If she wants to get herself into trouble, that's fine. Let's move forward and use it as a distraction. Lork is gonna say, let's move to the five-foot

door here. Check it out immediately. Everybody good? Listen at the door? Ready yourselves. And he goes to the door. And he listens. Quickly. Okay. The other side of the door, and he listens quickly. Okay. The other side of the door. Thirty-one.

Woo! Silence. Sorry, thirty even. Silence. Opens the door. Opens the door. If it's openable. It opens into a ten-foot-wide hallway that stretches about 25 feet

and then shortens again to another five-foot door. Okay. Five-foot space. Lork is going to motion the party to follow him, and he's going to do a check for traps on the floor. 26 as he's walking. You don't see any traps. All right, he's walking slowly through this.

You say it's 10-foot wide or 5-foot wide? 10-foot wide. It's a 10-foot wide hallway. But then it narrows at the end. And it narrows to another five-foot door. Okay. Five-foot space with a door, sorry. He's going to keep walking. Follow. You know, telling everybody to follow. Everybody's the end it narrows to another five foot door. Okay. Five foot space with the door, sorry. He's going to keep walking.

Follow. You know, telling everybody to follow. Everybody's coming up. Going to go to the next door. Listen. 25. Don't hear anything. Attempt to open the door stealthily.

22. 22. Open the door. 22. 22. Open the door, and you see several decrepit bunks just rotting in what appears to be a completely neglected room. There are two other doors in the room,

one to the east, one to the west, and there are tracks moving back and forth. Can I do a survival check to check if they seem to be orc tracks, if there's any giant tracks? Could a giant fit in here in the first place? How high are the ceilings? Yeah, a giant could fit in here.

I'm going to do the same. Baron, let's do survival checks. 27. 25, you motherfucker. Oh, he beat you for once. I finally got him. Yeah. They're not giant tracks.

Can you tell me what Lork knows that Baron doesn't? They're not fire giant tracks. Oh, you think they are, you son of a bitch. No, I really have nothing. All right. Baron wants to, before we move any further, really quickly flip the mattresses and see if any of them have chests.

Any of the bunks have chests. They often have chests. They did it on the Chell's Devil. They do in barracks. I know it's old. Or if there's any notes about daggers or magic weapons. Foot lockers, hope knives. Falchions.

Additional companions. 25 perception. 25 perception. We are rolling rocks. You flip the bed and a huge cloud of dust fills the room. This bed hasn't been moved, touched,

used in a long long time. And you see absolutely nothing. If you continue to do that with the other beds, same thing. Those tracks go back. No, but I mean, I'm saying, I choose this bed. All right, roll for that bed. Those tracks are going straight back and forth between the door to the right. They're just going to the shitter.

And the door to the left. No, no, it's going back and forth between, you came in the door from the south, there's a door to your left. This is like eerily's going back and forth between you came in the door from the south. There's a door to your left. This is like eerily the, whatchamacallit, the plague house. Baron looks at Lork, and he points at the left. And then he points at himself and then points at the right. And I think we should do simultaneous stealth and open door checks for fun. Sure.

Well, I'm not much for fun in military situations, but... Sounds like a blast. For tactical advantages. But let's move this along. We don't have time. Let's use this. But we don't know what Ingra Hill's doing. Let's move as fast as possible.

Let's advance the plot. Lork is going to try to open the left door Lorca's going to try to open the left door. Baron's going to try to open the right door at the same time rolling stealth checks. Double back Baron up. Rogers' Days to Save event is back with our most incredible deal yet on our most reliable internet. Enjoy Rogers Ignite internet now starting at just $50 a month. Backed by our Wi-Fi satisfaction guarantee. Visit rogers.com.

Can anybody back Lork up? Nope. 20. 26. 20 for Lork. 26 for Baron. Baron, you stealthily open your door and you see another 10-foot-wide corridor. God damn it.

Leading across another 25 feet or so to a door. Lork, you open your door and see a spiral staircase leading up. Ah, interesting. All right. Wait, so if my, based on what Glavra saw, is that leading up to where the ears growing out of chests people were hanging out?

No, yes. Oh, it is? Oh, I thought that was. Oh, we moved all the way this way. Oh, my God. You do the math. You bring out the map, and you know what Galabras has told you. Got it, got it, got it.

That leads to the top of the bell tower. The bell tower. Bell tower. That leads to the top of the bell tower. Okay. Let's, I say we follow that. So I'll, Lorical Motion and Baron, quietly close your door. I'll say.

Let's move this way. Galabras has seen these guys. Now, Galabras, to your best estimation, did they look like they were on patrol? Were they armed? No, they were eared. That's exactly what I was going to say. They were eared and armed.

Did they have arms and armor? They were eared. That's exactly what I was going to say. They were eared and armed. Did they have arms and armor? Armoire? Were they carrying an armor? What other furniture did they have? It looked like they had pretty shoddy weapons. You saw two creatures up there that looked malformed. Medium-sized? Medium-sized creatures.

looked, malformed. Medium-sized? Medium-sized creatures. You know, it's... It looked to me that they were malformed, medium-sized creatures that were shoddily armed. Lork looks at Baron, he says, Oh, I think we could take them, and maybe they could get us the information we need.

Let's move fast. All right, but get ready to let Galabras interrogate any of these filthy motherfuckers. Wait. He holds a hand out to Galabras interrogate any of these filthy motherfuckers. Wait. He holds a hand out to Galabras, or to Baron. He says, you can't be shooting your gun in here.

We can't be alerting the fort to our presence. He's just realizing this. Oh, shit. Is there a silencer in Galarian? I said, well, even... What the fuck we're supposed to use man harsh language you know what's so funny is like the very reference of that yeah it all connects i say troy doesn't know he's never seen i know he's never seen aliens i say we have loser not aliens i know i've seen aliens no okay move on he's lying no but still but still it is no so i say Move on But still It's a good point

I think it's actually an issue I say thanks for gimping my character Secondly My other point is we have two options I don't fire on the balconies Where it'll ring out In the main space Secondly

We wait For another battle. Whatever we heard earlier with all the animals. But I don't think that's wise. No, the battles are over for the day, I think. Yeah, I don't think we can wait for that. They're healing Umlu now. But I think inside, have you seen... I do a quick

perception check to see how thick the stones are of the building we're in. Like, and the mortars, to see if that would stonework don't even give him any shit troy stone it's stonework it's a stonework i think as long as we're inside stonework check as long as we're inside i think that i'm okay with it being concealed outside i agree with you okay you know what are we supposed to use, man? Harsh language? He had it! He had it!

That's amazing. I've been waiting for that one. I've had it for like weeks. I haven't even used it. Good Lord. It is so relevant. It really is so relevant. Yeah, it really is. It's the same fucking...

Absolutely. Yeah. And I like stuff like this. I think it's a good point, Joe. It's like, you know, you're going into the open air. This is an open bell tower. So if Baron has to stay on the steps that just changes things wait a minute wait a minute couldn't you inside or outside baron think about it couldn't you try to use your hammer unless we were in dire circumstances my dwar dwarven axe? Your axe.

Sorry, it looked like a hammer from the shadows. I think that, you know how many traps we've been stuck in throughout this whole journey? I think. You remember those centipedes that were attacking us after the first dews we fought? I do. We brought them back in through the hallway, and we laid the hammer, or the axe, whichever one you want, down on him. We can set up some guerrilla warfare-style stuff, trick people into following us. Maybe our friend who can go invisible would be a beautiful bait.

Nah, all right. But first, all I'm saying is think carefully before you shoot. I know you will. Let's move forward. And we close the doors that Baron opened, or the door that Baron opened to that hallway and another door.

And then we move, Lork is gonna move first up the stairwell. You move up the spiral staircase. Yeah. Slowly. You stealthing? Yeah, and he's going to turn around and say,

Della, be careful. Della's going to pull out the wand of vanish in her offhand in case she has to use it. Talk to me party order. I just want to know who's going. It's a single file staircase. I have a good stealth too, so I'd probably be close.

I'm stealthy too. Do you want to argue to go first? I don't mean we don't have to go mean we don't have to go back and forth. The only thing is my stealth is plus nine, so it's whatever yours is. It's better than Lork's. But I could still fuck up the roll, so it doesn't matter.

You never rolled that stone cutting, by the way. And I also don't mind going first because I have so many hit points and shit. Okay, so you lead the way up the stairs. Roll the stone cutting. You didn't roll the stone. You just said to roll the stone cutting You didn't roll the stone You just said to roll the stone cutting Perception?

Yeah, perception stone cutting Don't you get like a plus four or something? Never mind That is actually, by the way, if it is a plus four This stone has really been cunning It's wafer thin It's a sixteen though With all that said.

16. You can't imagine that it's thicker than five feet. Okay. But that's decent. That's plenty. But Galabros knows that up top, it's open air. It doesn't matter. Wouldn't it echo?

Yeah, Lork is no sound expert, but it's just the vibration. The vibration carries through stone pretty well. It's also two on five, and this is a great opportunity to take out two sentries that are clearly here. Right, and just the vibration. The vibration carries through stone pretty well. It's also two on five, and this is a great opportunity to take out two sentries that are clearly here. Right, and just get information. So let's move quick. I'm totally down with you going first, but can you go axe first? You know what I mean?

Like go up with your axe. Yeah, I have my axe ready and equipped. Axe ready. So we're going to go Baron, Lork, Barry Connick Jr. Della Galabras Can I duct tape my axe to my gun? Stop it I'm going to duct tape my axe to a bullet

And then fire that That's amazing, Baron So clever I've never seen that before That's awesome My god Alright, Baron, roll a stealth check 19 Oh my god. All right, Baron, roll a stealth check. 19.

You get up there, and you see shuffling feet back and forth. And one of the feet, one of the foots, one of the feet? How do you say that? One of the foots? One of the feet. One of the footsies?

One of the foots. You dumb, southy trash. I love how you say that Skid's the one who's out of it. He can never speak English. One of the foots. One of the foots. You gotta try improv-ing for an hour. One of the feet.

You're the only one who has prepared material. I know you have a written script in front of me. I make up shit left and right. You have no idea. All right. One of the feet has a hand growing out of you. I make up shit left and right. You have no idea. All right. What happened? One of the feet has a hand growing out of it. Oh, that's fucked up.

And. One of us. You see two creatures going back and forth, and they seem very uneasy on a small circular platform. Outside? Outdoors? You feel air coming through. It's whipping through

because there's probably like areas where the air is blocked off and areas where it's open. So the wind is just whipping through. Do we see sunlight? They haven't... Yes. Now it's getting later in the day, but you do see some. The sun is still up. They haven't detected me though. They have not detected you with your stealth. Can I

do a sense motive to see why they might feel uneasy? No, you may not. Alright, so... Let me read the emotions of their feet and the hands sticking out of their foots. Baron turns around and he points at

uh... Who's directly behind you again? Della? Or Lork? Lork. Lork and Barry. Baron wants to see if there's any other area that he could quickly stealth behind before he waves them up. A fair question. It's not impossible.

There is, you can tell, there is like a half, a semicircular wall on either side of the bell. You would have to be basically invisible. You could sneak up there and get between

the outer wall and the walls surrounding the bell. I point directly at Della. I point her, I wave her up to me and have her go past Lork. Wait. So what's the plan?

You want me to get up there? So once you get up there Once you get up to me and I can whisper to you Presumably without anyone else hearing I would think that's fair It's getting tight This is all happening in moments I say

Get invisible and go in that corner right now And I point to where you said You'd have to be invisible to get into And I hope that she can make it Della, what do you do? I'll cast Vanish That was just a suggestion I'll cast Vanish

How long does it last? I'm casting it, I'm not using my So five rounds Lork is going to look at Baron And he's going to do the same thing we did with the... I say come up. Same thing we did with the doors. Lork is going to point left. He's going to point Baron right. And he's going to say, like,

he's going to give a symbol to, like, grapple them. So the plan is... Like, to quiet them. I can't grapple. He's going to immediately, you know, probably use three rounds of vanish to get up into that spot. And then you guys are going to go left right. Three rounds? How far away is it? Well, I mean, these are six seconds

is a round. I have 30 feet of movement. You have to be extremely careful, and we're not in combat, so this is like happening, you're just basically and you get up there and you guys are going left right and you see two malformed

Delos sees this, two ugly two malformed Delos sees this two ugly and poorly armed malformed yeah they've got like hooks it looks like but not not weapons

like natural hooks no no they've got weapons but they're not they're like rusty these aren't beautiful forged weapons castle forged steel

but what's so disgusting about them is like Galabras already saw. One has an ear growing out of it. You saw the hand growing out. One's got a hand growing out of the chest. One has a foot coming off of its side.

These things are inbred. Would I have a split second for a knowledge to engineering? You might. Are they? After you roll for initiative. Oh! And Della gets a surprise round. Alright. Alright. Oh yeah. You know what?

I want to use this opportunity to talk about surprise rounds. We had a listener a while back. Her name is Shannon Sullivan. Give us some serious shit, well-deserved shit, about how we play surprise rounds like fucking noobs. I love how you say us. Well, you have all been sitting there we play surprise rounds like fucking noobs. I love how you say us. Well. When it was you. Well, you have all been sitting there

taking advantage of your poor, helpless, defenseless, poor rolling DM. Are you going to explain this or not? Wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Game's got some explaining to do. It is time for Nerdy.

Everybody drink. Now, I think that you You must have had more surprise rounds For your monsters Than we have had as PCs Totally Agree? Totally

Have we ever had a surprise round? We're not a stealthy group No one has levels in a row So let me explain surprise rounds The main idea of a surprise round Is that all you need There's only one criterion Which is

You must be aware of an enemy that is not aware of you. That's it. Boom. And in this case, we're climbing up these stairs. We see them. We did the perceptions. We saw them walking. We saw their weird, deformed, mutant feet.

We know they're there. They don't know we're there. Surprise round. In a surprise round. But what this listener pointed out is once we roll initiative and we do the surprise round, which we've done a bunch of times, meaning you get to act once and then we start the round again from the start of initiative order, is the real rule in Pathfinder is that you can only do a move or a standard action in a surprise round. So you don't get that full round action sort of thing that you normally have for a normal round. So you don't get that full round action sort of thing that we, you know, that you normally have for a normal round. The thing Shannon pointed out

to us was like the Malira episode. When Malira had a surprise round and shot three arrows at Baron. Can't do that. You can't take a full attack action. Yeah, so you can take one standard action, which is one arrow shot. And then, you know... Or move to get in place to take said arrow shot. I get a get out of

jail for free card, right? Well, you already got out of jail for free. I think we all got out of jail. Either way, either way, the point being, I knew that rule. But I thought you knew it too, and you were like, I'm just going to play surprise rounds like a regular round. I didn't take you, because we've played in games before where we've had that rule.

Feel free to take me to task when I'm doing things incorrectly, because Lord knows I'll do it with you guys. Yeah. I like it both ways. I completely understand getting the full jump on the enemy, because in this case, it's going to be a situation where Baron and Lork, all they can do is move. They're not going to be able to do anything else cooler.

And that's lame. But also, the idea of it is so that you don't break the encounter in the surprise round. You don't get so much advantage on the enemy, because imagine if Melira, like, Baron was able to drop to the floor, got a great AC, she missed a bunch of her attacks. Imagine if she

hit three times, and then went again without us being able to do anything, and then hit three more times. Baron would be dead before the encounter even started. That's no fun. You know what I mean? So it goes both ways, and I'm completely fine with it. But you have to make a decision, and it has to be like,

this is it going forward. So I misspoke. I said Della had the only surprise round. You all get the surprise round. Yeah, because we were aware of that. Right, but this is a perfect opportunity. You're in Red Lake Fort, the first real encounter.

Let's be honest, you guys broke that Grey Ooze encounter. This is a great opportunity to do surprise rounds the right way. Okay. The way Pathfinder intended.

You mean by the rules, right? The way it was meant to be done. The way when it doesn't affect my guys. In the name Pathfinder Farms, our members. But this is a perfect opportunity because these guys were circling around this bell.

Circling around this bell. Della waited for the perfect opportunity. She's vanished. Boom. Moves into place. As they're circling around now in your surprise round, Baron's going to go left, right in the grill of this dude. And you're going to go right.

Lork. Lork. I'm sorry. Yeah, Baron's're gonna go right. Lork. Lork. I'm sorry, yeah. Baron's gonna go left. Lork is gonna go right, and basically be as close to flanking as possible with Della for the other guy. And then here comes Barry, here comes Galabras, and here comes

the Hammer. Tell me about your initiatives. Lork got a 21. Oh! Old Lork and a 21. Alright. Anybody higher than 21? No. No. Anybody higher than 21? No. No.

Anybody above 15? I got a 15. You got a 15? All right, Gal. Della got 14. 14. Baron? Nine.

Nine for Baron. Nine. What, did you roll a natural one? You have to roll a one to get a nine, right? Yes, I do. And I'm Batman now. And these awful, disgusting, inbred creatures

rolled their initiative as well. Inbreeders. What'd you roll? A 21? 21. 21, Lork? I love that song by the inbreeders.

Cannonball. Cannonball. So close. So close. But not close enough. Surprise round. I know you're a libertine. Everyone goes, Lork, you're up.

All right. Mind you, Della's going to get an attack this round. Very well if you get an attack, because you can go five foot step, boom. Yeah. But you and Baron can get into place unless you're doing range combat, then you can take that. No, Lork is going to try to use the powers of the belt from Rag, which gives him a bonus to CMB

to get into position to grapple this thing. And he wants to put his hand over its mouth, silence it, hold it, grapple it, pin it, and then get it to tell us what's going on in this fort and what it is. So he's going to use his round to move quick as lightning, as quick as a middle-aged man can move with a terrible knee, past Baron and right up into melee range with this thing, whatever it is.

This thing, this malformed thing that is right five feet away from death. Because it's a surprise, all I can do is move right up next to him. Correct. And everything pauses. Barry Connick Jr., I am going to tell to defend Baron as a free action. Ah!

So if Baron gets attacked by anything, Barry Connick Jr. will attack that thing. Okay. That is a badass move. That is pretty cool. If you end up a step to your right, I can flank. Yeah, okay.

Galabras. I'm going to cast a little spell, second level spell, called Silence. Centered on the bell. Oh, that's brilliant. 20 foot radius. Fucking. Each of the, everybody gets a chance in the every effect of the spell DC 15 will save

to negate but any inanimate object within that sphere the bell the bell for example the gun is and the gun oh silent regardless wow that's so cool but it also means that Della

if she fails can't cast spells. True. Very cool. Very cool. But she's also a badass fighter. All right. So what are we rolling? That's an amazing, amazing.

Yeah, it's so smart. If you weren't sitting on a bottle cap right now, Skid, I'd give you another one. You can have two bottle caps. You can stack bottle caps. I like how we spent like 20 minutes talking through this and Skid just didn't say a word and then just changed the entire encounter. He made it amazing.

What's the DC? 15. 15 will save. We want to be silent, right? You don't want to. Can we fail on purpose? Well, no. No, no. The gun automatically still be silent.

The gun automatically will be silent. Yeah, it's a cone of silence. So Will saved it? If you make your save, you can say like, Hey, Lorc, I'll need your help or whatever. Right. Della saved. Will saved?

Yeah. All right, so Della saved. I mean, it doesn't matter so much for Lorcan Baron and Barry Connick Jr. It doesn't matter for them. It matters for Della. If Della saves that means Della can still Della saves.

Now your guys roll. Right. Do you tell us that do you tell me that my gun is okay now? No. I don't think so.

I mean both of these creatures fail. Yeah. You see them like Baron already recognized there was something skittish about them

and now they're like trying to make a sound and now they look petrified. Yeah. By what's happening. And you just hear. And now it is.

Della's turn. Della, you are five feet away. You have an opportunity to step up and flank with Lork and do some damage. Yeah, Lork is like, the mission was to capture, not to kill. So if I were you, I would hold around to see if I can grapple this thing.

That was the plan going in. And give it my surprise round, basically. Yep. Unless you want to cast a spell on yourself that buffs yourself, you could do that. Not against these guys. Or just let Della be Della, dude. I'm going to move so that I'm equidistant from Baron's guy and your guy. That way, if I need to help out in either situation.

All right, so Della moves to the easternmost portion of this area. She's on the other side. She's now created a triangle with herself and these two malformed creatures. Baron. She is between the bell and Galabras on the other side. Can I just, I just want to give a quick shout out to Matthew for being a really great teammate. Let's say that he saved me both as Gormley and as Della. With that said, I don't know that my gun is silent at this point.

So I'm going to move up to The other Weird ear thing And it's still surprise turn so I'm done You would notice the complete absence of sound All of a sudden after I cast my spell If I were running this game I would let Baron maybe Have a perception check to tell I don't even think

The spell happened before The plan was for you to run up but you know that it's silent And do you have quick draw now? I do not So then it doesn't matter The spell happened before. The plan was for you to run up, but you know that it's silent. Yeah. And do you have quick draw now? I do not. So then it doesn't matter. Oh, well, then it wouldn't matter. Right. But you know.

You know it's silent. Absolutely, Galebris. Absolutely. Yeah. But the plan beforehand was to go up and get next to this dude. Yeah. Is Baron going to go rogue, literally, and go by his own rules? Baron, what are you doing?

I think it's pronounced rouge. You could take your surprise round action to draw your gun. Or move to your guy. I'm going to draw. Yeah, your plan was to go up there, but then all of a sudden, Galabras just made it possible for you to start firing at will. I'm going to draw my gun. Baron draws his gun.

Round one. That's the end of the surprise round. You can draw it as part of a move action. Oh. Well, I'd have to drop the other thing. Well, he wouldn't want to. He wouldn't want to get in melee range with it. Oh, that's true anyway. Yeah. Okay. Round one. I love this image. All of a sudden it's like

dead silent and Baron just like completely silently pulls out a gun. Yeah. Mutated creature number one. Weird thing. I want to see the Zapruder film. Yes.

This is the one with the ear growing out of its foot. In front of Lork? In front of Lork. An arm that's like a malformed arm. What does his head look like? It looks like it's melting. It's an orc? And it's got, its features are all screwed up. It is like it's melting. It's an orc? And it's got its features are all screwed up.

It is not an orc. You guys, on your turn, are welcome to roll to try and figure out what it is. But in the meantime, this thing is swinging a hook at you. Mama growl? Natural 20. Give me a fucking break! I'm not even joking.

Give me a motherfucking break! What die did you roll? The neon? I haven't rolled it in two episodes, but I say, you know what? You guys are getting it too easy. Fuck this bitch. Natty, 20. What did he say? I'm going to go to the one.

So not confirmed. All right, just a regular old hit. But it is max damage, which just happens to be 21 points of damage. What? God. What? Ba-boom! Hits you with this hook.

So this thing looks freakishly strong. Okay, I didn't realize that. I thought that they were kind of... I didn't either. This is like... I was going to fuck myself. It's like Toonies. Lork, it's as tall, if not taller than you.

21 points of damage with this gross hook. Just... Sinks into your skin, and then they just pull it back. Some of your flesh comes with it. Orc, goblinoid, or giant subtype? It is not. None of them. Wow.

Why is it working here? The other one. Baron did not go with the plan. He stayed back. So this one comes up and clogs the stairwell, rushes at Baron, charges. Natural one.

All right. All right, there we go. Name. It does not have multiple attacks. It doesn't matter if it's named. It is an automatic fumble. So you take your crits with your fumbles, and for you people listening at home, that was also my green neon die.

So shove it up your ass, team. This one's called, oh, very interesting. I told you it was shop. You take 1d6 points of bleed damage. So this thing is like, holy shit, why can't I hear? Why can't I talk? It was already scared

to begin with. It runs up into Baron's sharpened gun. Sticks its hook. His whetstone sharpened gun. Sticked its hook. The whetstone. His whetstone sharpened gun. Runs up, really scared, swings at Baron, and ends up hooking itself in its leg and takes... Not until next round.

It is going to take one point of bleed damage on its next turn. Beautiful. Every single round. Until it does a heal check. Lork, you're up. Lork is going to try to grapple this thing. He's going to take one round to try to do it, man. Trying to do it.

He's got the belt. This thing just hooked you. 16. Fail. And it provokes an attack of opportunity. Forgot about that, didn't you? That's going to be a 26 to hit. 26 to hit?

Yeah. 18 points of damage. Oh, my God, dude. Did you say 18 points of damage? 18 points of damage. Barry Connick Jr., you told him to defend Baron. Baron just got, he did not get hit, but he was attacked. Yeah, so he's going to move through Baron Square into melee range with this thing?

Will that provoke from it? No, it doesn't have- it's not a giant. Sure. So he's going to move up and attack it. I see, moving from- well, okay. Yeah, so he's just gonna get one. He's gonna get one bite, but as a bear, he does have power attack. Oh yeah! So he's gonna power attack it.

Choo-choo-choo-choo! Uh, Crack Die. How convenient. Uh, miss. Ah, he tries to jump at it. Choo, choo, choo, choo. Crack die. How convenient. Miss. Ah, he tries to jump at it. The jaws miss. Guys, the plan is falling apart. This is going terribly.

I'm going to move to... If I can... If I have line of sight on this gross mutant closest to me, I'm going to get to where I have line of sight, clear line of sight, and I am going to cast Spear of Purity. What? What?

I think it might be time for nerdage. Is this the one attacking Lork or the one attacking Baron? It's the one attacking Baron. Okay. Spear of Purity. Never heard of that. Is that one of your new third level, Johns? It's second level, yeah.

Second level spell. It's a second level spell. I hurl a pure white or golden spear of light from my holy symbol, affecting any one target within range as a ranged touch attack. Oh, shit. An evil creature stuck by the spear takes 1d6 points

of damage per two caster levels. It's not evil, is it? Uh, yeah. Spear of purity. The spell, the cool-ass awesome spell shoots by. Hey, you know what? It's part of the game. Spirit purity The spell The cool ass Awesome spell Oh well Shoots by

Hey you know what Part of the game Della What do you got How much damage Have you taken so far Lork I took about

40 points of damage What you saw is Lork get mauled By this thing twice Okay I want to do First I want to do Knowledge to engineering

On these guys Wouldn't be knowledge To engineering It's going to be Knowledge local Oh I have that too Give me a knowledge local. Knowledge local is the most

broken knowledge in this game. 14. 14, you say. It's got to be a fail. It's enough to tell you one thing. These creatures are ogre kin.

Oh, oh, oh, yeah. All right, all right. And Baron, I misspoke, and it didn't matter in your first round because all you were doing was drawing your weapon, but they actually are of the giant subtype. Oh, fuck yeah. I'm getting right up in their shit.

Well, that means that my... They're not giant. They're of the giant subtype. But he's still... If they're of the giant subtype, then I get favorite enemy, which is... Yeah. Okay, I'm sorry, I just read it. No, no, no, I get it. Dude, stop apologizing. Just fix it. They're of the giant subtype Then I get favorite enemy I'm sorry I just read it

No no no I get it Stop apologizing just fix it They're of the giant subtype they have giant blood in them But they're not giant would your attack have hit Do I get favorite enemy against the giant If they're of the giant subtype Sure 20 against CMD

20 against CMD still misses So we did No harm no foul Okay good Harm No foul Harm no foul Right Trademark Joe O'Brien

So I'm sorry I misspoke Della seeing Work at mall Is gonna step up And flank The guy Okay

That he's fighting with Step up and flank Light scimitar and fire As she goes Yeah That's a swift action Swift action Okay

Take a little old swing That's a 17 to hit That's a swift action. Swift action. Okay. Take a little old swing. That's a 17 to hit. That is a miss. Okay. God, these guys are insane. Oh, wait, no. No, it's a 19 to hit. Blanking.

Oh, that's a little too late based on Troy's rules. I'll allow it. All right. We have not moved on. Benevolent GF. We have not moved on. Ten points of damage. One of those is fire.

Baron, you're up. You got a guy right up in your face. Is there any way that I can take a five-foot step? If you know the answer to this question, don't ask it. It doesn't... Look at the map. The map's right there in front of you. Absolutely not.

Well, you're shitty at drawing. Nope. You came to the top of the stairs, and that's where you went. Baron is wedged into the stairs. Galabras right behind him. Barry Connick Jr. right to his right. Enemy right in front of him. There's nowhere else for you to go.

All this area here is solid stone. Do you know what time it is? Point blank shot time. It's time to get up close and deadly. And it's time to do it twice in a row. Correct me if I'm wrong. Provokes. That provokes an attack of opportunity.

Oh, yeah, it does. This is a daring act. Yeah. Let's see how it turns out. Let's see how it turns out. It might be a grit point in your future, son. Yeah, especially if you take 40 points of opportunity. Oh, yeah, it does. This is a daring act. Yeah. Let's see how it turns out. Let's see how it turns out. It might be a grid point in your future, son. Yeah, especially if you

take 40 points of damage. Swings its ogre hook at you. Boom! 26 to hit. 21 against touch. Save your attacks. 26 to hit. You can roll that 21 over,

but the 26 just hit you on the attack of opportunity. 13 points of damage. Great. Moving on. 21 against touch AC. Uh-huh. That points of damage. Great. Moving on. 21 against touch AC. Uh-huh. That hits.

Okay. Yeah, this is how it happens, too. It's like swing, clack. Right. Gunshot goes off at the same time. Boom. It's worth taking that damage. That is 15 points of damage.

Beautiful. Boom. And my second attack. Does not have combat reflexes, so it will not provoke again. Ooh, doggie. 18 against touch AC. That hits.

Another up close and deadly. Oh, shit. That is only 12 points of damage. That's a little better. 12 points of damage. I'll tell you what. He's in bad shape. Nice. Good round, Baron.

Good round, Baron. Good round, Baron. Zero or no? You would think, get out of here. You would think this combat's gone on for 10 hours. It's round three and it's their turn. The guy right up in Lork's face. Lork tried to grab him. Wasn't happening.

Crit Lork goes to attack again. Misses. Yes. Yeah. Huge. Huge. The second one goes to attack Baron. Misses.

All right, all right, all right. Swing, swing. Now the tides have started to turn. That's why you guys got to stay with this. You got to stay with the battle. I'm not always going to roll 20s. Lork, you're up. Here's what happened.

Lork tried to grab this thing. As he got closer and the thing mauled him nearly to death, he recognized this thing is the giant subtype. the thing mauled him nearly to death, he recognized this thing is the giant subtype. He didn't see it before. But now he's like, these things have fucking giant blood in them. And he's so angry. And all of a sudden

he feels like the need to draw Gorim's thorn. To pray to the god of battle. And he quick draws that ship. No attack of opportunity. Oh, and this is why he took quick draw, because at sixth level, he still gets two attacks,

even when drawing a weapon. So he takes the quick draw feat, pulls out his weapon, and he's just like, I don't question giants. And he goes to swing power attack at this thing with a plus two from the flanking. So first attack, 23 to hit.

Hits. Yeah. Yeah. And he does 21 points of damage. Oh, you could kill it. You could kill it right here with the second attack. Kill it. Oh, Lork is so angry!

Kill his motherfucking dragon motherfucker! Second attack! Ah, crack die. And it almost was a natural 20. Uh, 21 to hit. 21 hits! Oh, come on with this! Kill it!

Kill his motherfucking dragon! Uh, 18 points of damage. Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Lork and Gorim's thorn.

Oh, he's just like, he takes one swipe to the left, cuts it open, one swipe to the right, takes its head off. Yeah, fucking mutant motherfucker. One of its ears just falls. Barry Connick Jr. still saw Baron just plug this thing full of bullets, but it kept attacking Baron. It did not tell it to stop defending. What does it do? He's going to take a five-foot step not quite flanking yet but getting into position sure and he's gonna do beast he's gonna do yeah he's very intelligent he's gonna do a full attack action power attack on all attacks yeah

because he's just be off for the absolute step he was told to defend Baron he will give his life to defend Baron. So, claw, claw, bite. Claw, miss. Claw, miss. He says, swipe, swipe. They don't hit him. Hey, goes in for the bite. Yeah.

16 to hit. Miss. He's working his way around, though. I liked him using this defend talent. He might get that bite, yeah. Or, I mean, he might get that flanking. He's helping out the team. Galabras, your spear just missed.

You'd never cast that spell before. You haven't practiced it enough. What are you doing now? I am, yeah. I'm going to draw my crossbow and load it. Okay. Galabras is like, I'm going to stay away from these dudes. Draws the crossbow, loads it, ready

to maybe put a kill shot on. Della, you're up. Della is going to hop over the dead body and jump up and attack the other one. Alright. Difficult terrain. Get up there. So you're right next. So basically you've got Lork to your left, Barry Connick Jr. to your right. 24 to hit. That's a hit.

Flaming Scimitar. Yes! 9 regular and 3 fire. 12 hit points left. That's a hit. Flaming scimitar. Yes! Nine regular and three fire. Woo! 12 hit points left. It's dead. Yeah! Della just whoop! That's my girl right there.

Strikes it down. Yeah, I really wanted to question these things, but once you saw the giant blood, Lurk was like, fuck that. And you know what? I made a joke about it earlier, look was like, fuck that. And you know what? I made a joke about it earlier, but I cannot deny

the amazing use of the silence spell. Bottlecap for you. Yeah! Alright! That was just huge. There you go. Their actions would have been early on, yeah, sure, defend themselves. Yeah, sure, attack. Ring that fucking bell. I get 2.5%

interest on these, so in two years I'll have another bottlecap. Just keep saving them. Yeah. Definitely don't use them. No. I get 2.5% interest on these, so in two years, I'll have another bottle cap. Just keep saving them. Yeah. Definitely don't use them. No. I won't. Dead ogrekin. You knew about orcs.

Are they dead, then? You knew about giants. Yeah, they're bleeding out. Ogrekin? You know, I think Lork might have a little knowledge of this with his time in the Black Arrows. I'm not saying like encyclopedic knowledge but like Ogrekin

look I will say rove over these places. From running the Rune Lords campaign I know that the Black Arrows as an organization

most definitely have experience with Ogrekin. Yeah. So you can imagine Ogrekin are it's a very it's an inbred

disgusting society that's why they're all deformed okay and ogres are fucked up anyway but i don't know if we've like really but what are they doing here you guys haven't dealt with ogres at all and what are they doing here could i do uh is there any sort of relevant knowledge check to know if like during his time with the black arrows lork knew about any sort of alliances with hill giants or orcs that could have led to this? Roll a knowledge history.

Do you have it? I don't have it. That's fine. I just don't have it. Wait, what is there? Oh, it's knowledge local. Yeah, you'll have to crush it. Maybe a natural twan. Maybe natural twans. Seven.

Is that enough? Yeah, you don't know. And then it's further complicated by like, why were they so scared? Baron noticed they were scared. Can I fucking roll a 20 history? Yeah.

Come on, man. Sure. Give it a roll. So Lork will tell Galabras like, these things that we fought on the stone. Natural one. Shit, never mind.

Motherfucker. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, man. You guys got to learn them on the street. Natural one! Shit, everybody. Motherfucker. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, man. You guys got to learn your history. Baron would like to. Know your history. Should we hide the bodies? As you're trying to figure out what to do with the bodies. I bet you they don't even know these guys are up here.

Now, remember, you saw footprints going back and forth downstairs. Oh, between the doors. Back and forth. Now it's all starting to make sense. Maybe they were sentries. Maybe this was their shift. Yeah. But meanwhile... The new shift is coming up. You hear... Baron.

Baron. Lork. Lork. You hear this from down the bottom of the steps. Lork runs over to the steps and looks over. It's Ingerhild. Yeah. Just like I...

Is everyone all right? Is everyone okay? Is everyone alive? Yeah. Are you okay? I'm fine. I saw Umlo. He's beaten, but he's alive.

She told me to say something that only you would know, Lark. So that you know that she's for real. She. And you need to come with me. She says that when you were a young man, you strangled someone to death on the streets. She says this is your curse, the curse that you bear, the reason why all your loved ones

and all those you protect have died. But she has foreseen all of you. And she seems for real. Will you come with me? He gets, like, angry. It's like an invasion of privacy. No one knew that. No one knew that.

He did that alone on the street. Will you come with me? I, I'll come with you. She looks to the rest of the street. Will you come with me? I, I'll come with you. She looks to the rest of the party. I go with, I go with Locke. I'm getting a sense motive along the way, but I'll come. Dough, doughnuts.

We'll see you next week. Fuck you. Oh my God, you're you. Oh my God. You're chill. Oh my God. She knows. Oh. Outro Music