The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 66 - The Wedding Slashers

Episode Date: August 30, 2016

Drawn by the sounds of muffled sobs, the adventurers finally confront the alleged mastermind behind the attack on Trunau - Grenseldek! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast, the mastermind behind the attack on Trunao. That's a 22 to hit. Miss. Uh-oh. She's gonna be tough! The leader of the Twisted Hearts. Way worse than we thought it was.

Yeah. This is really getting out of hand. Exponentially worse. The most fearsome giant in Beltson. Oh, no! Baron! Calabras. All hell is breaking loose. Exponentially worse. The most fearsome giant in Belkzen. No, Barak! Calabrous. All hell is breaking loose.

The hero's face. Grenzeldek. Who disturbs my rest? The adventure continues. We're going long this episode. Now. What's going on, cats and kittens? It's Troy LaValle, GMDM best friend. I really need a new catchphrase. We have got an episode and a half coming up for you very shortly,

but as promised, I'm going to announce the winner of our first giveaway contest. This one is for a brand new copy of the core rulebook signed by the whole GCP crew. Finally, you can get that Matthew autograph you've been waiting for. In order for you to have been considered, you needed to submit a house rule to us on a secret password-protected part of our website, and we finally found one we like the best. And by we, I mean me, because like everything we do with this ramshackle podcast, my word is law! We had a lot of great entries. Some of my personal favorites were from Melissa Frank,

who suggested, every time Barry Connick Jr. states one of his conspiracy theories, the PCs have to make a save. Diplomacy, knowledge local. If they fail, they now hold the same belief. I like that one. Our old good buddy Tim Pettifor,

who said, every time Joe rolls a one, he has to proclaim that he is a, quote, pretty princess. I think that's fair. You know, we may use that one anyways at some point. And lastly, another good friend of the pod, Lana Vandenheuvel. Am I pronouncing that correctly, Lana? That's Arya Orchid on Twitch, by the way. She proposed that not only Troy can give out bottle caps, but the others can decide together if Troy deserves a bottle cap if he does something

particularly cool. I won't read the rest because she suggests that I don't do anything cool, but nonetheless, there's an idea I think we can all get behind. Now, after combing through all the suggestions, the winner is, drumroll please, as I haven't even emailed him yet to tell him that he won. The winner is Mr. Carlo Manuel. Congratulations, Carlo. We'll be contacting you shortly to get your mailing address and social security number, obviously. Don't worry about why we need that. Now, in truth, I took Carlo's suggestion

and tweaked it a bit to make things extra juicy, to Troy-ify it, if you will. Carlo's winning house rule has to do with shooting into melee. That happens a lot in our show. So, here is the tweaked, Troy-approved version of the rule. Anytime a PC misses on a ranged attack into melee, they roll a D100. If they roll a 1 to 10 on that D100, that means they're going to hit one of their allies. If there are multiple allies within melee, I will roll randomly to see who gets the stray shot.

Now, if you fumble on your ranged attack, a 1 to 20 means you hit an ally and fumble. So it goes up from a 10% chance to a 20% chance when you miss on a fumble. And Desna forbid if you ever roll a 1 on the D100, because when that happens, you will crit your ally. The ultimate fumble! So next time Lork whips out his bow or Baron draws his magic handbanger

And they start shooting an enemy Who's involved in melee with an ally Let's just say they better not miss Because they might hit their friend And hopefully kill them We'll be putting that new house rule into effect When we start book three So stay tuned

And once again, congrats to Carlo And thank you all for submitting Next week we'll be announcing the five finalists For the ultimaterigue contest. All five will have character sheets created by us, based on the character backstories they submitted, and one lucky winner will get a brand new copy of Pathfinder Ultimate Intrigue, signed by four jerks and a Troy. Be sure to follow us on Facebook and Twitter if you haven't already, and please write us a glowing review on iTunes. It's episode 66.

What are you waiting for? We need those reviews to keep soaring up the charts. So please, please help us. And now here's an episode that's 30 plus episodes in the making. Please enjoy episode 66, The Wedding Slashers. The plot has officially thickened. Not unlike a fine beef stew. We turned that milk into a roux.

A manticore stew. Manticore stew. Making roux is really difficult. It is. It's a delicate process. You have some flour, some butter, some water, I think. Technically, just the flour and the butter is the roux, right? And the bechamel is when you add the milk.

I knew you'd know the answer to that. Matthew. Wow, a lot of stuff went down that episode, last episode. Yeah, I mean, this whole time we've been going for the fort. That's been the end of all things, is the Grensel deck. And now, a few episodes ago, we get the hint that she's trying to woo this storm tyrant. But no definite definitive, like, who is this guy? What is he trying to do?

And then full-on, full-blown, uniting the giants now, hundreds of them, to take over the world of the small folk. Way worse than we thought it was. This is really getting out of hand. Exponentially worse. I am really happy, though, that we stumbled upon this room, if she's here still, which I assume she is, before we meet her, because now we have this intel on what her situation is.

Loris is just going to hold up her wedding dress with a sword next to it. I'll stab it. No, my very wise. My very wise. We'll just have, we'll just have Galabras read the, read the rejection letter over and over. It's a demoralizer.

It's a demoralizer. Uh, I mean a lot of stuff, uh, you guys discovered a lot of stuff at the end of that episode. Let's just sort of recount it. And then I want to talk about, you know, how have the goals changed where you guys are at? You guys discovered a lot of stuff at the end of that episode. Let's just sort of recount it. And then I want to talk about, you know, how have the goals changed, where you guys are at. What are your immediate goals? What are your long-term goals?

So let's talk about the things you discovered. She was amassing a dowry. And the attack on True Now was a means of getting a Scross armor, a Scross hammer, and the other half of a geode, which you guys had already discovered looked like it was some sort of map. And then last week, the sketching,

that looks like it's the other half of the geode? Yes. Okay. I was a little unclear on that, but I thought that that's what it was. And then she makes mention to a treasure map. Right. Well, we always kind of thought that.

You guys always thought that it was some sort of treasure map. Yeah. In the Mindspin Mountains. In the always thought that it was some sort of treasure map. Yeah. In the Mindspin Mountains. In the Mindspin Mountains. South of Trinow. And we're north of Trinow right now, right? Yeah, you're way north. We're north of Trinow now.

And now... Trinow now. Trinow now now now now now. Trinow now now now. Do we know... Ba ba da ba dinga dong dinga dinga ding. Trinow. Trinow now now.

True, true now, true now. We're having fun. Oh boy. Sorry, what were you talking about? I don't even know. Just the salvation of all the small folk of Galarian. Nothing important. Whatever, man. You just got here from another plane.

My question is, do we know if the Storm Tyrant is located in the Mindsman Mountains as well? Like, is that his home base? Yeah. The valley. Well, the valley of Min... He says, even now, hundreds of giants flock to my banner within Minderhall's valley. And Minderhall is a giant god, is that right? Like, the giant god.

He's like the Durin is to dwarves in Tolkien. He is, yeah, he's the, well, he created them, right? Did Minderhall actually create the giants? Yes, yeah. Okay, so he's not Durin. And the un-maker. He's like Torag in Pathfinder. Torag made the dwarves.

Yes. Is he... Or Aule in Tolkien. Neutral aligned? Evil aligned? The god? Good aligned? You know, I'd have to look it up, but I think he's evil aligned.

I think he's neutral. You think he's neutral? I think he's neutral. You might be right. I used to have that information at hand, but I don't have it on me right this second. But in addition to that, so you find out, okay, in Minderhals Valley, where that is, not quite sure, but there is a treasure map to something in the Mindspin Mountains.

And it says on the note, adding the stuff in the giant killer's tomb. Right. Now, Asgroth was a giant. Here was my question.

Was that note about adding something in the giant killer's tomb, was that close to in proximity with the notes with the geode?

Yes. Okay, so it does It all seemed to be like together. So the geode, the map of the geode is pointing to the grave of the giant killer. Nargrim Steelhand, who...

Ingerhild, that's who she and her brother were searching for. And is that a distant relation or just a famous dwarf? She is actually... To Ingerhild. Both. They're Nargrim-y kin, so you would think that they're, you know, kin. Okay, right. And... That's something that just occurred to me the other day. It's like Nargrim-kin, kin to Nargrimkin, so you would think that they're kin. Okay, right.

That's something that just occurred to me the other day. It's like Nargrimkin, kin to Nargrim. Yes. Oh. Yep. Just kidding. I didn't even realize. That's what you were just saying.

I just said it. We always used to make fun of when I first introduced her name. Her name is Nargrimkin. And you guys were like, that's not her name. Oh, it is. Oh, wow. So she's an important character. She's on the cover of the Player's Guide and everything.

And Baron would know. Oh, right. Whether or not Baron is a Red Hot or not, he would know that dwarves are buried with... Treasure? Yeah. And so Ingrahild and Umlo. Were Egyptians, basically.

Were going to reclaim treasure that they think is rightfully theirs as kin. Now, what Grenzelbeck wanted to do with it was to just add it to the dowry. And now, if you have the other half of this geode, it seems like you have a treasure map directly to where this tomb is. geode it seems like you have a treasure map directly to where this tomb is and they does they mistakenly thought it was up in the in in the up here the ghost like marsh and ghost like marsh right but it's actually down south yes they must have confused stories they heard of the vault of thorns baby i um turn with this new intel i turn to angryhill and I ask her, were you just out there to find your family's treasure or did you know about, and I reference him saying, bringing all the giants together? Like, was it just happy coincidence that she happens to be looking for that stuff?

No, I mean, yes, it is. It is happy coincidence. We had heard stories of giants gathering, but you hear stories of tribes always gathering to try and take over the world. But I didn't know the extent of it until we discovered this intel. But if giants are banding together, we are all doomed. All of Galarian is doomed. We're not if we stand together. What? Here's what Lorca's wondering about, and I don't know if you can tell me this, Troy, the Black Arrows. My experience or my understanding of the Black Arrows is that they're fighting a lot of these tribal giants in the mountains and the

plains, and so it's hill giants, ogres, ogrekin, this kind of stuff. We talked about this before. This whole storm tyrant coming in and this concept of a dowry and him saying that you're below my station and all this stuff like is there already existing some sort of like giant aristocratic class or giant nobility or is this guy just a barbarian that is styling himself as a, using his power to just say he's a leader? Or is there a legitimate giant nobility? Who has knowledge history?

Me. Give me a knowledge history roll, and I'll tell you what you know thus far. 26. Ooh, good one. 26, good roll, Galabras. So Galabras, you would know this even without the time you spent in the libraries of True Now before you left, that as legend has it, Minderhall created the gods and brought them all together. Giants?

The giants? I said not the gods. Man, he's really powerful. He created the gods! He's evil aligned, by the way. He is evil aligned. Minderhall is evil aligned. Mineral is evil aligned. And when he created the giants,

they all sort of banded together and were a normal society. Not necessarily even an evil society. But over time, their worship of him or whatever, their sort of union as a tribe of giants, all the giants together, it dissipated for whatever reason. And the reasons for the decline in giant culture

could have been as varied as the different types of giants themselves, infighting, drought, disease, war, all those things tore them apart. And so now, if the story you're hearing or gathering this information from the storm tyrant Volstis is true, he's trying to ban them all back together. So if this has been going on over time and the giants are as proud of people as the dwarves, if he can get them back together, they'll be unstoppable. That doesn't answer my question. What was your question? Is there a known giant aristocratic class?

Is there a nobility among giants? Is there like a known giant aristocratic class? Is there a nobility among giants? Are there rich giants, or is it just a matter of physical might? Who's able to gather the biggest army? B, yeah. Okay, so it's not about money. It's not about money.

So this whole concept of her dowry was like she was just trying to impress this barbarian. There's a hierarchy of giants, but the hierarchy is based on power, not on wealth. Money. It's an erotocracy rather than an oligarchy. Exactly. Not a plutocracy. But Grenseldek, being a simple hill giant, she hears that the giants are banding together

and she wants to upjump her station, not unlike Screed. And so she thinks, if I get all this stuff together, maybe he'll take me. And he just laughs at this. So hill giants are among the lowest yes of the low and this guy we would assume is a storm giant is that a kind of giant it's good it is yes

storm giant you remember that uh giant hunter's handbook thing we got with a cool list of how they're huge okay so they're like 25 feet tall or something oh. So that means then if Gresseldeck knew what we knew, that why would she ever think this would be successful? Do you know what I mean? Was she thinking the dowry would be so impressive? Yeah, I guess. That's a lot of money and a lot of soldiers.

And bringing in a whole orc army couldn't hurt. And he even says, I'll take your army in an apology. And if you're lucky, I won't kill you. Don't ever bring this up again. I think that the items that we found under True Now and whatever lies in Narcan's tomb are so powerful that she thought they would be enough to impress him to the extent

that he'd be like, yeah, sure. Right. You know? Yeah, sure. All right. Marriage made in heaven. I love you or whatever. But he would just,

he could just take it from her. I mean, what a, she seems crazy. And now then think from the character standpoint. If your journey, if this,

you know, mission is successful and you make it back to Trinow, and you decide to continue the journey to Nargrim Steelhand's tomb, that's going to bring you to the Mindspin Mountains, where allegedly Baron's family was migrating when they were wiped out, where Lork was around the Black Arrows in his Black Arrow days, where perhaps his progeny is still alive out there. How convenient. How convenient.

And meanwhile, Della, you know, your mother possibly is looking for you somewhere. Yeah. If she has any powers of seeing, maybe she'll be over there as well. And all the while, Galabras is being watched by the eyes of Brander. Oh, fuck.

Totally forgot about Brander. How could you forget about Brander? I certainly didn't. I blocked it. I blocked it out of my mind. I'm so terrified of what's going to happen. I know. Okay, well,

Lork is going to try to get everyone on the same page, which is, this is great intel, but we need to table it for now. And we have to get out of the Fort Alive and take out Grenseldek. Because at the very least, even if she's not really our problem anymore, we have to cut the head off this army.

Yeah. So at least they're one army weaker. And we need to save Amal. We need to get Amal out of here. Amal and our Grimkin. I'm less concerned about that. But sure. That's so rude.

And also, Galabras made a promise to Fabian Blix to find the remains of Tam and Varys. Yeah, I do want to do that, too. Bring them to the chapel because Lork's got no tolerance for cannibalism. He's a stand-up guy. I don't take cannibalism. That's another... So you've got...

Your mission is threefold. One, defeat Gransildek. Cut the head off the snake as Lork. Of this army. Of this army. Two, find the former castellans' remains and destroy them upon the altar of Desna

and three maybe save Amlo yeah that's a lower priority don't tell that to Angry Holes and then make sure we hand over the fort

to a bunch of orcs right four so four forks that's definitely going to happen and then after that we just have to go

to the Mindspin Mounds fight a storm giant and 100 armies. Hopefully with the weapons we get at the Giant Killer's Tomb. Right. And do all of our side quests as well. There's actually a lot to do. Good point, Matthew. Yeah, like, so going to the Vault of Thorns, you found a cache of items that can help you against giants. You would think that the Giant Killer's Tomb is going to have an even more impressive cache of items to deal with an army of giants.

Right, but look what happened in the Vault of Thorns. Maybe we just skip the giant killer's tomb and have characters to go to the Mindspin Novel. Those weapons are replaceable. But then so are characters. All right. So do you think that we... are replaceable. But then so are characters. I don't know what to say. All right. So, yeah. Do you think that we,

basically, I think we're about, you know, we're having a little discussion. We're maybe 15, 20 minutes after we finish killing these magicores, going through this stuff, reading, talking,

hashing some things out, waiting for them to come up because of the gunshots. We didn't see anything. Should we rest? I think we should go back to the chapel and uh rest yeah you know i'm getting the sense that that grenzel dick is not going to get up any strong defense of the fort she just seems despondent like at this point i mean you read

that letter i mean it's just sad she's sulking in her tent Right Or as Maybe it's her wedding dress I say back to the sanctuary Rest Yeah I've used up most of my Most of my spell slots so You know she's listening to that song It's a quarter after one I'm a little drunk and I need you now

She's just like crying With a bottle of Chardonnay Yes let's rest She's definitely listening to country music Yeah Phil Collins Drinking whiskey I'm gonna make it right Tonight Tonight Tonight He's definitely listening to country music. Yeah. Phil Collins. Drinking whiskey.

I'm going to make it right. Tonight, tonight, tonight. A big gallon of ice cream. Five gallon. It's a five gallon bucket of ice cream. She's watching Love Actually. Followed by Bridget Jones' diary. She went to a Costco outside of True Now.

Is that what the raid was for? Five gallon bucket of... It was for rum raisin. That's rum raisin all along. You can't talk to me right now. Oh, man. All right, so you're going to leave the caged room with the manticores. Go back into the room that was cleared out by the giants.

Yeah. I almost want to peek on the other side of the door before we leave, but I won't if you don't think it's a good idea. No, I'm not saying, and you just, all six of you rush out into the courtyard. You know, you've still got the door to your right, which leads downstairs. You've not looked downstairs yet. And then you've got this door outside. So you guys want to take a peek outside?

Sure. Yeah, I just want to peek out through that cage. Because you would think no one would be using that door. Oh, you mean you want to look out the door on the other side of the cage? Oh, well, yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah, I want to look just outside. Make sure the coast is clear.

Go to the sanctuary and rest. Yeah, I don't want to move on until we get our stuff. I'm sorry. Yeah, I wanted to look just outside, make sure the coast is clear, go to the sanctuary and rest. Yeah, I don't want to move on until we get our stuff. I'm sorry, I thought you wanted to peek out the doors. Okay, so you go roll, whoever's looking out first, roll a stealth check. All right, Lurk is going to roll a little stealth axe. 23. Nice.

Keeping it quiet from my friends. 23. All right, you peek out there And tumbleweeds This is getting weird Don't hear anything either In the middle buildings Just a rattle

Did anyone just quickly close a door somewhere? Slam You want me to vanish and go check it out Make sure he's not going to spring anything on us Sure Stop using your wand up It's got 50 charges Stop it You want me to vanish and go check it out and make sure he's not going to spring anything on us? Sure. Stop using your wand up. It's got 50 charges.

Stop it. 50 charges. All right. Yeah. If Lork reports back that the coast seems to be clear. The coast seems clear, right? Yeah. Tumbleweeds. Del is going to vanish and step out into the courtyard.

All right. Do you want to do a quick scout? Yeah, I'll do a quick scout. Okay. Okay. Roll a perception check. So that lasts two rounds? Yeah, I'll do a quick scout. Okay. Okay, roll a perception check. So that lasts two rounds? Yeah, and I can do it again.

Okay. You tell me. 12 seconds. Natural one. Eight on the perception. You really can't hear a skid whenever he sits up. Spoiler alert. You roll a perception, and you see there's a patrol of two ogrekin

above you. And they're just walking along the curtain wall. Well, not like above you, but off to the side. Along the ramparts? Nowhere that would bother you. But you see them walking and you hear them talking. And they're like,

Oh, what happened down there? That's the fifth orc we caught this week, and yet somebody came and killed all the ogres. Must have been those damn orcs. Pappy says, that's the fifth orc we catch sneaking around this week, and now they got away in and killed us ogres. These are trying times.

If Grenseldack can't keep her little orcs safe anymore, I got a place for them in my belly. They sound lovely. And those are the ones with the ears coming out of the chest and the hands coming out and then they just scurry off into one of the guard towers. Okay, so I come back. I report back and I say, I think if we time it right

we can dash across to the bell tower. Wait until we see them go to one end and then just Let's do it. Okay. no delay Dello Gives a signal, you guys scurry across Open the door

I'm assuming you didn't re-barricade it Open the door, go in Shut the door behind you Wait a couple minutes, nothing happens You're safely inside of the sanctuary With a statue of Desna Smiling down upon you. Okay, let's rest.

Do you have channels to burn before we do? I do. I start, how many do I have left? I've got three left. Beautiful. As you're channeling in there, the statue of Desna seems to just light up with you as you are channeling. Something only you see, Galapagos.

Awesome. What was the ghost Blix's, what's his first name? Fabian. It says Fabian. Does he have a title? He was the Castellan, right? No, that was Varys. No, that Varys was the Castellan.

Chaplain? Yeah, probably was Varys. No, that Varys was the captain. Yeah, I mean. Chaplain? Yeah, probably the chaplain. This is, uh, Chaplain Blix, we have

returned. We will rest here for a while and then continue on our, uh,

on our raid. You just hear, only Galabras hears this in his head. It's like,

you are safe here, but please find the remains of Taman Varys and put

me to rest. We will, I promise. Men use feel warm presence of Desna within you. Calabrus, you're talking to yourself. It's my only opportunity to get an intelligent conversation around here. I'm sorry, I don't say that. What a sassy guy. Okay, rest.

After that repartee with the manticores? Done. All right. So you rest. You get your accomplished your HD back in HP. Everybody near full? Yeah, we're full. Yeah.

I am. Wow. Yeah. Yep. Thanks to Galabras' last few channels. Okay. Yep. Full.

Oh, by the way, there's only three charges left in the Wand of Healing. Ooh. Ooh. Be aware. Maybe. I like when a wand is down to its last few charges. Then it doesn't seem so. Because then I can kill a character. Yeah. All right.

So you guys are healed up. Hours have passed. During your time resting, you are occasionally woken up or stirred by sounds of the bear baiting going on. As Elmo is put to the test again. Oh, jeez. Ingerhild is just like, she doesn't even rest.

Ingerhild does not get a full night's rest because she is just listening at the door and pacing back and forth and biting her nails. She's fatigued. So she is fatigued. Shit.

Lork sleeps like a baby. Lork sleeps like a baby. He's got a little pajama cap on. Still mad that Ingerhild almost decapitated you. Fuck your brother! All right. Middle buildings

are back to the fort. Middle buildings or back to the fort? Middle buildings. I'm all about them. I think the completists in the party have something to say about that. You know, the longer you take, the more I'm going to have to run in. But you have three options, essentially. From where you are right now, you do have the middle buildings. And then inside, you have the downstairs.

And you have whatever the door is on the other side. Beyond the cage. You are fully healed right now. Fully rested. Fully armed with information. My case for... I'm going to vote for Grenzledeck. We come here to defeat Grenzledeck. So long as she exists,

the greatest existential threat to all of our other missions still exists. Hey, I have a question. Do you think, is it reasonable? I just had an idea. Is it reasonable to have Barry Connick Jr. smell the dress and then try to track the smell? I think it's...

He has scent. Exceptionally reasonable. Yeah. Well, we all know Giants don't smell very bad If it's that door Through the back way Yeah

Maybe he'll smell Tracks that way Or if it's downstairs Maybe he'll smell Tracks that way I like it Interesting You down with that?

I'm absolutely down with that That's cool That's a cool use Of a companion Yeah Okay So you want to go back To that room

The cage room And I'll Shove a wedding dress in his face. All right. Get it sent, Barry. Get it sent. Della, I don't know if you want to do the vanishing look again, or you guys just, it's cover of night now.

It's nighttime. Oh, right back out to the courtyard. Yeah. You probably can just sneak across. But if one of you wants to do a peek out first, you're welcome to. I think we can just sneak across. Well, I'll do a peek. I peek out first, you're welcome to. I think we can just sneak across. Well, I'll do a peek. I'll do a peek.

Gentleman's peek. Gentleman's peek. Natural one. Natural one. You see a UFO. 22. 22, Baron looks out. You see a fountain.

You hear movement off in the distance, but it seems like the coast is clear. You see shadows of fire coming from the moat on the other side where all the orcs are stationed. So you would think that they're just eating and being orcs. Singing songs. Rabble rousing. Yes, definitely rabble rousing.

Rousing rabble. But yeah, it looks like the coast is clear if you want to make a run for it. Let's do it. Let's do it. All right, let's make a run. You're back in the room where the hill giants were sleeping and i shoved the dress in very kind of junior space well first you got to go into that room all right god damn it all right roll perception you go in and you know the dead manticores are still there okay so i get him to sniff the dress and then i was just looking up the rules here so i get him to sniff the dress. And then I was just looking up the rules here. So I get him to sniff the dress.

And then he needs to roll a survival or wisdom check, whichever is higher. And in this case, it's survival. I was going to say, I can't imagine a bear rolling wisdom. It's only different by one, actually. Well, wisdom modifies survival. Sure, sure, sure. So anyway, he the typical dc for a fresh trail is 10 this dc increases or decreases depending on how strong the quarry's odor is the number of creatures and the age of the trail for each hour that the trail has gone cold the dc increases by

two yeah i have all this stuff on my sheet i'm'm creating the DC in my mind of what I'm going to tell you. Okay. I can tell you. So he can smell it, and then he can sniff for tracks, essentially. And I would imagine she's quite odorous. Yep. Odoriferous. Odoriferous.

Okay, here we go. 14. 14. 14. He sniffs around. He goes back to the doors of the room you came into, so coming from where the hill giants were. Yeah. And you see him sniffing in there where the hill giants were.

And then he goes back along the wall. He goes over to the manticore's bodies, takes a bite out of one of them. Barry, calm down. I'm so sorry. He says, boobity doo. Sorry. Tastes like chicken, boobity doo.

And eventually goes over to where the doors are on the other side of the room and seems to be trying to sniff under the door. And he can't get under it. Hmm. Yes. All right. All right, let's go. Barry, you've done well. I'll pet the scruff of his neck.

Pull him back a little bit from the door. Give him a treat. Give him a Manteo. What were we told by who is the tribe leader of the orcs? What is his name? Karguk. Karguk told us there was people inside we could talk to, perhaps Have we seen them yet? Orcs?

Yeah, bodyguards We did see them He was getting pulled apart Oh, right, right He said there were bodyguards Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah So we probably haven't seen, who knows All right

Okay, we did see one close the door in the middle building that we're not checking out we saw something for sure we did we definitely saw that close the middle floor i kind of wish we'd check that middle all right uh quick perception on the door just for sounds on the other side uh 21 you hear feet feet. It's hardwood floors? Hardwood floors, no. Yeah, you hear. Pre-war? You hear. That's a square footage.

Tell me. It sounds like footsteps, large footsteps, echoing, but it doesn't sound like, would you roll for the percent? 21. That's all you hear.

Okay. I think we got a giant inside. Arm yourselves. Ready your actions. Shield of faith. I will blow her brains off if I see her. That's my ready to action. Lurk is actually going to keep

Gorham's thorn drawn for the moment. Because he thinks it's going to be close quarters. So he will open the door. Wait, Del is going to have her scimitar and the wand of Cat's Grace in her other hand. Oh, and I... I love when you... The looks on you guys' faces.

I wish we could reproduce that. And, and, and? Right before we go in, right before he opens the door, I give a bit of luck to Lork. Ooh. Bit of luck. Bit of luck to Lork. Can you give a bit of luck to Lork. Ooh. Bit of luck. Bit of luck to Lork.

Can you give a bit of luck to more than one person? No, no, no. Because it only lasts one round. Oh, okay. Set up your party order. All right. Lork up front there. Della will go next to Lork.

With Barry Connick Jr. I'll stick my gun right in between them. You guys are just stepping over boxes, crates, all sorts of broken down shit. I like my map. It's a pretty good map. Yeah, it's a good map. I compliment you on your straight lines. Thank you.

You open the door and you see a corridor wrapping around. Darkness. Oh, no. Okay. Della has dark vision. Della has dark vision. I'm Baron. Lork has dark vision and Baron has dark vision. Lork doesn't vision. I'm Baron. Lork has dark vision and Baron has dark vision.

Lork doesn't have dark vision. No, Lork has low light vision. So maybe Della and I can go ahead. Sure. Okay, then Lork is going to sheath. Without lighting a torch. He's going to sheath Gorm's thorn and draw his black arrow longbow if he's going to go back in the order.

So Della. Move with care. Ingra. Baron. I just saluted Lork. Della salutes Lork. Ingra. I just saluted Lor. Della salutes Lor. The second Della and Baron enter the hallway, you see the stairs going down. Oh.

And Della, you see in the distance a gigantic orc. Oh. Who looks like this. Oh my. Oh, wow. And it looks like there's another creature behind this orc standing at the end of this down,

this corridor leading down. This is so cool. That's one of my favorite pictures so far. That is fucking badass. It's almost like a- Is it a horned? Is he wearing it on. It's like, it's almost like a huge, huge horn. Is it a horned? Uh,

is he wearing it on his back? Yeah. It's like a, not a horned helm, but like a part of it's, it's like mammoth tusks that are holding together the shoulder, uh, whatever you could,

the cape. Pauldrons. Pauldrons. Oh, that's right. He's got a giant. It's kind of samurai influenced armor too. Awesome.

Uh, you see one of them D Della, up ahead, and it starts coming towards you, and you see another one behind it coming up as well. They're just walking up the steps? Just walking up the steps. Did Kargak ever tell us what the signal was? No.

But they come up to you, and they nod. Oh! So I'm standing there with the wand the sword and the warg athlete an arrow just like knocked and these as it comes up to you della it is they are eight feet tall but they are orcs with giant blood in them tusks tusks as big as your hands and they nod and they walk straight past all of you out the door

through the manticore chamber holy fuck and go away holy shit okay oh man wait would you like to help us in a battle please

so can I stealthily proceed down the stairs? Absolutely. I'm so glad that we didn't fight those. Twelve on the stealth check. Adela falls down the stairs. Dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump. Twelve. Okay, you get down to the bottom of the stairs,

and there is a set of double doors. Excuse me. I just realized all these stairs are going up. Sorry, sorry. So all the stuff I just said, these are actually going upstairs. So I look down on the eight-foot orcs? That makes so much more sense

that those orcs were walking down from something And out I was like why are they downstairs just walking up to the second floor And then out the second floor and then back down I totally messed up So this entire thing just imagine that this happened But you were going up and they were at the top of the stairs And there's a set of double doors

Okay keep going Set of double doors at the top Yeah okay should we listen I'm going to listen at the door Damn I'm so mad at myself I'm going to listen at the door. Damn, I'm so mad at myself. I'm going to listen at the door as well. 22. 22 from Della. 16.

16 from Baron. Della, you hear padded footsteps, kind of like. So she's in her slippers. Slowly moving back and forth. And you hear just... She hasn't cried herself to sleep yet. Whimpering. She's never gonna dance again. All right.

Careless whispers, God is good. I relay this information. Lark is... His palms are sweating. I relay this information and light my scimitar on fire I am happy to stealthily open the door or

anyone else can I'm plus nine I could try that way so we can get a drop on her this is a single file hallway as it were

oh shit well you still wanna do that maybe Lork will Lork will open the door. If you put him up there, he's just going to go in and attack. I think.

I mean, I don't anticipate negotiating. I'm going to use the wand. Right before Lork opens the door, I'm going to use the wand of Cat's Grace on myself. Yeah. Can I get a hit on that? Can you Cat's Grace me? I will, because I have the wand. I only have two more charges after that.

Yeah, but it'll help for what you can do. So who's doing what? Lork will take the lead if nobody else wants to open that door and just go in. Alright. Can I be involved? Yeah, go right behind. Alright, Lork Barry Connick Jr. up at the front. Remember, as I said from the beginning,

you're going upstairs. I never said anything different. Single file down the hallway. Lork, followed by Barry Connick Jr., followed by Baron, followed by Della, followed by Ingerhild, followed by Galabras, followed by two giant orcs somewhere that already left. Lork opens the door.

Let me describe the interior of this large bedchamber. The first thing you notice, not unlike the chamber upstairs with the hill giants, this room looks like it's also recently gone through a renovation. In the back corner of the room, there is a broken wall partially blocking a dark alcove, some sort of construction over there. On the opposite side of the room from that is a circular niche. Directly across from Lork to the right, or kind of directly across the room, is a large raised table. In the center of the room are three beds that have been crammed together, like three human-sized beds crammed together to create one large bed. South of the beds,

a massive floor-to-ceiling mirror stands against the wall, and a large dust-covered armoire hunkers between two sets of doors along the northeast wall, so near the circular niche. In front of Lork, you see what the padded footsteps were. Two direwolves. Oh, shitballs. Pets, if you will, padding back and forth. And on the far end of the room, sitting at the table, crying, staring at what looks to be

one half of a geode on the table. You see someone that you are 100% sure is Gransildak. I want to see this picture! And she looks like this. Oh! Oh!

Oh, no! Wow! Yo, she's beautiful! What man could turn that down? Why? Oh, no! Wow. Yo, she's beautiful. What man could turn that down? Why? Oh, man. I would threaten to kill her if she proposed to me, too. I have to say, in her defense, she is not dressing for her body type.

I have two photos of her because she's also, there's a more... Zoomed in? Kind of a more... More flattering? More descriptive picture of her on the cover of book two. It looks like that. Isn't this amazing? Oh, man!

We'll put both of those on the Tumblr. Oh, yeah. Right when Lork opens the door. So, yeah, I mean, how would you describe her? Oh, yeah, I guess I just don't like to be sure of the picture. I mean, she's got breasts the size of- Lork. Lork.

Just hanging down to below a huge stomach with like, looks like- She looks pregnant. Almost looks like padlocks. Yeah, she's fat. She's gross. She's got almost like goblin-esque features when you look at them,

like a real evil looking or sunken eyes that are red from crying. She's got male pattern baldness? She's got, yeah, just tufts of red, long strands of red hair coming out of her head that look like they've been wrapped in bandages, chains around her arms, and on the table next to her are two axes,

which she immediately picks up when Lork opens the door. Is she bigger than the other giants we've seen? Ah, she seems more impressive, but I would not call her bigger, per se. She is larger and more grotesque. Sturdy? Stout? Sturdier. Stouter, as it were.

The luxurist? Lork opens the door, sees her sobbing over the geode in the middle of the room. She grabs the The hand axes Who is it Who Disturbs My rest

Roll for initiative Yes Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll

Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll

Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll

Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll

Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll

Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll

Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Roll, Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock All right. I love Nick Lowe's soprano. Lork! I even have her pawn.

Natural 20. Oh, Natty 20! Anybody over 20? Yeah, 27. 28 for Baron. Oh, Baron, you son of a gun. Lork? 21.

21 for Lork. Galabras? 16. 16? Well, you guys all seem to have got the jump. Including Lork. Galabras? 16. 16. Well, you guys all seem to have got the jump. Including Lork. Except Inghild. Yeah, rolling high really helps.

In initiatives, yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, the battle with Grenseldek begins! Baron, you're in the back. You hear, Who has disturbed my rest? Oh my god, she's southern, just like me? She just went southern. Oh my gosh, it's a half orc.

Now, can I move through friendly squares? Yes. Yes. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty. That's all my movement. Baron enters the room. Head of Rourke. Fuck.

And I'm going to shoot at the closest dire wolf. Roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll. Roll for initiative. That's a twenty. Hit. Let's touch AC. Yep. And that is eleven points of damage.

Oh, boy. I'll tell you right now. These are named wolves. How much damage? 11. 11 points of damage. Nice opening. I might actually also use my second trigger, which I can do in a single attack without being a full attack action.

All right. Talk to me. Ooh, yeah. That's a 29. 20. No, no, no. Ooh, yeah. That's a 29. 20. No, no, no, I'm sorry, 24. 24 hits. That is 15 points of damage.

Ooh, baby. Wait, what just happened? I normally just use one trigger of my double-barrel pistol, so because I only had one attack this round, I decided to pull both. Okay. Okay, both. Okay. Okay, Baron. Roll a will save.

Is it against the spell? No. 15. You enter the room, you fire away, and then all of a sudden, you just start feeling unfathomably sad. Ooh. The thoughts of your family possibly having been wiped out,

the thoughts of yourself perhaps not being a true red heart, all of this, for some reason, in this moment, completely overwhelm you, some reason in this moment completely overwhelm you and you are inflicted with a curse of melancholy. What is that? You know what? I know what this is. She left the notebook playing in the background when she was crying earlier

and I saw it and it's so. Minus two on attack rolls, saving throws, ability checks, skill checks, and damage rolls. Ooh. And it is Della's turn. Oh, jeez. Della is going to move 30 feet into the room, step to the right of the door, and cast Defensive Shock on herself. Okay.

Also roll a will save. I was going to make Baron do it the minute he walked in the room, but I knew he was going to hit the wolves anyway, so... Cast defensive shock on herself. Roll a will save. 16. 16. You're okay.

Boom, defensive shock. What does that do? So if you hit me, any of your characters hit me, they take, the first time it happens, it's 3d6 electric damage, and then the next time it gets halved, it gets halved until it's nothing. Now, it only works, though,

if you remember that you did this two seconds ago. Right, you forgot to do it last time. And it was the Uyghur fight when it would have really come into play. Yes. Lork slash Barry Connick Jr. Oh, and I'm going to keen my scimitar. Oh, swift. Yeah, there you go.

It's already on fire. Lork is going to say, Grensel Deck, we're here to put you out of your misery. And he will charge at the first direwolf in the room. The one that Baron shot at? If he shot at the one that's right in front of Lork. It is. Okay.

Then Lork is going to charge. Okay. Roll a will. And he'll also tell Barry Connick to attack. He's like, attack! And then he charges, lifts Gorham's thorn, and goes to attack. Now, I roll a will save? Yeah, roll your will save first as you enter the room.

20. 20. Emblazoned by Gorham's thorn. You feel no curse. Yeah, Gorham is protecting me in battle. Charge. Charge attack, power attack. It will, I believe it has reach, so it's going to get a bite in battle. Charge. Charge attack, power attack. It will, I believe it has reach, so it's going to get a bite on you.

Okay. It goes to bite 19. That hits. Bites Lork for 14 points of damage, maximum damage. How's that? God damn it. Bites the Lorkmaster. It's always a give and take here.

All right. You're right up in the face of this dire wolf that's got bullet wounds. Charges in one good swing with Gorm's Thorn. 18 to hit. 18 hits. Yes! Oh, that is so awesome. Here we go.

16 points of damage. 16 points of damage. Damn. Is still enough to kill the first direwolf. All right! For those at home, Joe was very disappointed by that. Yeah, one of the sixes was on a six, and it fell off and became a one.

Crack die! All right, so you kill the first direwolf, the one that Baron was shooting at. And now, Barry Connick Jr., you are still rushing into the room, so you can just change tactics and go for the other one. Yeah, so he can't charge, but he will move in, and he'll take an A-O-O.

What is Barry Connick Jr.'s intelligence? It's two. Two. You do not need to roll, we'll see. Okay. So he comes in, he takes an attack of opportunity. Thing bites Barry. 13 to hit.

Misses! Misses Barry Connick Jr. Barry squeaks opportunity. I think bites Barry. 13 to hit. Misses. Misses Barry Connick Jr. Barry squeaks by it. Bear versus wolf. Bear versus wolf. Tiny bear versus... This happens all the time in the wild. Large wolf.

Power attack, bite. Natty, 16. That's got to hit, right? That hits. Yeah, that hits. Over 21. And he does... Eight points of damage.

Oh, baby. With the bite. Barry Connick Jr., everyone. Galabras. I move into the room right through the door, right next to Baron. And I say, when I get, the minute I get through the door,

I say, Baron get the minute I get through the door I say Baron your gun and I reach over and I cast Instruments of Agony What? on Baron's gun What did you just say? Oh my god what is that?

You cause a weapon to exude a palpable aura of divine fury While wielding this weapon a creature gains a plus two morale bonus

on intimidate checks. When an attack made using the targeted weapon hits, the wielder can spend a free action to discharge the effect to inflict agony on the creature the weapon hit. If the creature has spell, blah, blah, blah. If the creature fails a will save,

it is nauseated for 1d4 plus one rounds. Oh my god. So every time it gets hit, it has to... No, no, no. You can choose to just discharge the effects. Okay. It's once. And if it succeeds at the will save, it is sickened for 1 round.

Awesome. That's great. Cool. Thank you. That is great. Thank you. Wow. Roll a will save.

Oh. Wow. That's great. Roll a will save. No, it is pretty awesome uh i think i failed um even though i pretty good will uh yeah 11 so again similar to uh baron just you're just hit with this rush of emotions the the thought of having to relive all of what happened to you when you were a captor and then to have to relive whatever went down between you and Brander that wasn't even shown in the vision. All of this overwhelms you, and you two are cursed with melancholy.

I think she's, there's something about, she's exuding this somehow. An aura, yeah, yeah. It is now the wolf's turn. The wolf tries to bite Lork twice. First bite, 25. Hit. Second bite, 20.

Hit. Oh, Lork. Lork takes 11 points of damage and another 11 points of damage. 22 points of damage. Son of a biscuit! Uh, that is a rage, I think. Oh, you are below,

that took you below what you had for half. Half, yeah. So I think it's, if it's half of my remaining hit points or half of my hit point total. I would say total. Alright, then it's not. But, it's up to you. I don't know. I think I'm just gonna go anyway. Might as well. Yeah. Gransel deck then steps. But it's up to you. I don't know. I think I'm just going to go anyway. Might as well.

Grenzeldek then steps. That's a lot of damage. Grenzeldek then steps up to Della. Della is the only one there. Steps up to Della. Tears in her eyes. She's in a unified room. She's got an axe in each hand.

Is she large or is she not large? She's large. She is large. Yeah, I just didn't have another base for it. Where's the wolf? Swings this hand axe at you. 28 to hit. Believe it or not, that hits.

She just comes up. Boom. Hits you for 13 points of damage. So all she can do is one attack. And it is... Brassel attack! Ingrihild's turn. Ingrihild rushes into the room, rolls a will save.

Natural 20 on the will save. Oh, yeah. She's actually one square outside of the room at her max speed. That's right, because she's way at the top of the stairs, so she's just getting to the end of the room. Should I get out my bow, maybe? That was a double move? If she wants a double move, she can go another 20 feet.

Yeah, she will double move into the room to stand right behind Della. Right behind or next to? Next to. That's fine. So she provokes. She does provoke. So Grenzoldex swings and went from 19 to a 3. And she still hits

Ingrahild. And as we discussed earlier, she doesn't have the bonus AC against giants because of her homebrew character. Hits Ingra Hilde with an axe. Boom! 16 points of damage on Ingra Hilde. Okay, guys. And remember, Ingra Hilde is fatigued.

She did not get a full night's rest. All right. It is round two of the epic battle. I got scratched. Baron. So minus four from where I am, or do I take even more shooting? Minus six.

Okay, so I'm going to... I'm going to pull my pistol twice. So that is... 19 against touch. You can reload that twice for free? It's one reload action, as the thing goes, but yeah, it's a free action without chemical cartridge. It just increases the chance of a misfire.

So it doesn't matter if it's one or two. First one hits. Ooh, the second one might not. 12 against Touch AC? Second one hits as well. She's a big target. That's a big hit. Wait, you said 12. Yeah, it? Second one hits as well. She's a big target. That's a big hit. Wait, you said 12.

Yeah, it does. It still hits. 31 points of damage. Oh! Nice shooting, Tex! Wait, were you shooting Grenzledeck or the wolf? Grenzledeck. Do you want to discharge the effect?

Well, it's already... I didn't think I was going to hit. No, it's after you hit. Oh, after I hit. Yeah, then I discharge, obviously. I thought I had to do it beforehand. So what does Grins with Luck have to do? Will save.

Will save. Okay. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, hold on. Oh, I'm sorry. Melancholy. Take two off of my damage twice, so minus four. Okay. So 27 total. And minus two to your attack.

So that second attack may not have hit. The second attack missed. Okay, so my first damage roll was 12 points of damage. Okay. And now what does she have to do for this spell? It's a DC 15 will save. DC 15. Her will must be in the toilet right now.

Will save. 18 makes it. Okay, so she's sickened for one round. Sickened for one round, which gives her a... I think it's a minus two at all, skill checks, ability checks. Minus two to attack rolls as well.

It's kind of like the Curse of Melancholy. Yep. Okay, Baron did his action. Della, face to face with Grenzoldek. You've only heard stories of Grenzoldek since you met this party of bad luck. Della, face to face with Grenzledeck. You've only heard stories of Grenzledeck since you met this party of bad luck. Della is going to roll to cast defensively to do Shock and Grasp.

Okay, so that is a... And then Spell Combat. Concentration check against... No, she already used... Does she have Combat Reflexes, Grenzledeck? Oh, so I can just roll a concentration? If she doesn't have spell... Oh, it's a new round. Oh, okay.

Yeah, because Ingra Hill was the last one to go. So I'll cast defensively to roll Shocking Grasp. No, no, no, no. That doesn't matter. It's since her last round. She went, and then she did an attack of opportunity. So if she doesn't have combat reflexes, it doesn't reset again until her turn. Oh, I thought it was round by round. No, then you could theoretically get two attacks of opportunity in a round if you didn't have combat reflexes It doesn't reset again until her turn Oh I thought it was round by round No then you could theoretically get two attacks of opportunity in a round

If you didn't have combat reflexes I see okay Alright then I guess you're okay So just concentration Not casting defensively You don't even need to roll either because she can't swing Oh great spell combat Shock and grasp

Love it Was she wearing armor by any any chance didn't look like it in any of the art not metal well no excuse me a scale meal so it's metal yeah so I get a plus three this tackle that's a 22 to hit miss oh she's gonna be tough! Uh, okay.

Thank God for Baron and a 12 hits on touch. Lork. The spell isn't discharged. It's still active. It's still active. You see electricity flying off the flaming, keyed scimitar. All right, here we go. We're starting some full attack actions.

I'm gonna have Barry Connick Jr. go first. Okay. And he will... This is against the wolf. Yeah, this is against the dire wolf. Finish him, Barry! And I will have him claw-claw bite all power attacks. So first claw

miss. Wolf dives out of the way. Second claw hits and does seven points of damage. And then the bite misses. Claw- claw, bite. Claw, claw, bite.

Lork. Planning full attack action. Gorham's thorn. Swinging right at this thing's head. Here we go. First attack. Gorham's thorn. Power attack.

Miss! Oh, no! God damn it, Lork! No! Second attack. Miss. Unless it's AC is 14. Get out of here.

Get out of here. Oh, Mark. Troy, I forgot the defensive shock. I'm going to go to the kidney. Too late. God damn it. That's the sound of the hand being taken off the chest piece. These are your rules. These are your rules.

These are your rules. Galabras, all hell is breaking loose. I move up behind Lork, and with the hammer. Shakes some sense into him. Yeah, it's like, stop rolling so steadily! What is wrong with you? This is important! With the hammer of Uscroth,

I touch him in the back with it, between the shoulder blades. Oh. And. No way. Heightened enlarged person. Oh. I didn't even think of that.

And then I stand back. Mork is now enlarged for 20 minutes. Oh, that is amazing. And he basically pushes Barry Connick. He gets so huge that Barry's like, oh my gosh. Barry backs up. Do-ba-da-do, heightened enlarged person. Oh, baby.

All right. The wolf goes after Lork. Bite number one, 14. Miss. Oh, I dropped my neon green die. You can go without it It's gone It's gone forever Just leave it

Fight number two Natty 18 That'll hit 10 points of damage And now It is Grinseldak's turn Del says Hit me

Hit me Hit me Hit me Four attacks Oh god Nevermind Hit me once And then move hit me! Four attacks. Oh, God. Never mind. Hit me once and then move on to somebody else.

Handaxe coming straight at Della with two attacks to begin with. First attack, 22. Hit, and you take 3d6 damage. All right, it does 15 points of damage. And you take six points of damage. Six, and there's no reflex save for half of it So she just

And does that mean it's expended or this thing stays active? It stays active, but it halves the damage each time So it's got one more Second attack How many points, how many damage did you say I took? Fifteen Second attack, misses You wanna get dirty with me?

What the fuck was that? Where did that come from? She's in a weird mood You wanna get dirty with me? What the fuck was that? Where did that come from? She's in a weird mood. You want to get dirty with me? I love you, Sirenscape. Here comes Hand Axe. 30 to hit. On me?

Yep. That hits. Hits for 10 points of damage. And you take one more point of damage. Take one more point of damage. Good news is, I lied, she only has three attacks. Oh, good, good, good. Yeah, Della just took about 50 points of damage in the last few rounds.

All told? No, not 50, but yeah, a lot. 48. Ingra Hild, four attacks. Oh, 38. All right. Whatever, Grant, I'm trying to appeal for healing. Ingra Hild!

Not helping. Ingra Hild hits with the first attack, misses with the second, misses with the third, and misses with the fourth. Oh, my God. Ingra Hilt, no! But she does do 1d10 plus four damage

and gets nine points of damage off on old Grimseldek. Upon seeing this, I shout, are you sure you're not Grimikin? God damn, you gotta hit that giant. I'm sorry. I missed my brother. Baron, round three. She's also fatigued.

You probably didn't take that into account. I didn't, but the first hit was definitely a hit. I forgot about fatigued. Does the wolf have... I'm gonna do something daring and I'm going to... Oh, it just does less damage. Minus two to strength. I'm going to take three shots. I'm going

to switch my target should the wolf die. Okay. Baron firing away at the wolf as Gransildek decimates the tribe. 18. This wolf is so dead Yep 16 points of damage

16 points of damage Wolf is still alive I'm gonna get up close and deadly on this one Woo 1 Confirm the fumble Oh no Baron

Fumble confirmed Oh no Shit Well I'm misfired for sure Misfired and a fumble Baron Fumble confirmed Oh shit Well I'm misfired for sure Misfired and a fumble Baron's been on a hot streak Let's see what the card says Ranged

You are sickened for 1d4 rounds Oh my god so you're sickened And Curse of Melancholy Minus 4 to all attacks Minus 4 to damage. Would you like to do the honors on rolling that dice, oh evil dungeon master? The 1d4. The 1d4 to determine how many rounds

I'm sickened for? Oh. I'll give you the power. You have a touch. Four. Four rounds. Oh no! Baron! Baron! And he's like, my gun, it's jammed! My gun is jammed I don't know how to do this voice

Alright Della Della is very very hurt but This shocking grasp is still active so she's gonna roll it again 23 to hit Miss Oh my god How Della lost her groove 23 to hit. Miss. Oh my god! Adela lost her groove.

Okay, and then I'm going to... Skid literally looked at Matthew's character sheet and made a sound of disappointment and just looked away. I think he was looking at my HP as well. I mean, I can't... I'm just going to die if I try to get away. So Magic Missile. Magic Missile. Grants all deck.

Well, you're still going to die, right? I'm going to die either way. Okay, so Attack of Opportunity. Are you going to... Roll Concentration. Okay. All right, so it's Concentration. Concentration.

What's the number he's got to beat? It's her... You can also take a five-foot step back. I mean, to start getting out of the way. Then I'd have to, if I ever wanted to provoke, next round if I want to attack, I have to provoke. No, you just take a five foot step back in. If you're healed up.

Five foot step. Okay, so just in case you need to fight, take another five foot step away next round. To run. All right, so Della backs up. Luckily, the wolf is not near enough for that to do anything. 11 points of damage. You didn't roll up. Luckily, the wolf is not near enough for that to do anything. 11 points of damage. You didn't roll concentration.

23 on the concentration. And what's the number he has to be? 15 plus double the spell level. So it's DC 17, so I made it. Great. Okay, so 11 points of damage. Yep. Now, how many magic missiles?

That was three, thank you. Three? Just making sure. Just making sure we have all our numbers correct. All right, Grenzledeck has taken some damage, but she's going to dole some out. Our heroes are the only ones that can stop her. Lork!

Lork feels something strange coming over him after Galabras has cast that spell on him, and he will hold until Galabras' turn. All right, it's Berryconic Jr. Berryconic Jr. will attack. Full attack action. All right, it's Barry Connick Jr. Barry Connick Jr. will attack. Full attack action. Claw, claw, bite. Claw, claw, bite.

Hit. First claw hits. Seven points of damage. Second claw, miss. And then he's going to sick his teeth in. Nope, 14 to hit. 14 to hit. 14 hits. It does hit. Um, okay.

14 hits. Hey! It does. Yep. Oh, all right. Uh, so that's the bite. Does nine points of damage, max damage. Oh!

All right. Ice bear. It is almost. 16 points of damage. It is almost dead. And it is Galabras' turn. Lork, still holding. Okay, so I am. Still turn. Lork, still holding. Okay, so I am going to go now.

I am going to go. Because you had to wait until Galabras' turn to become large? Yeah, and large person is a full round casting. So I was just going to wait. But it's not a spell. It's an effect of the hammer. Well, I think it acts as the spell. I think.

I mean, that's what I assumed. I don't know. Either way, it doesn't matter. I'll just grow large. It does, but it's fine. You moved in the mission behind Baryconic Journey. It's fine. All right, so's what I assumed. I don't know. Either way, it doesn't matter. I'll just grow large. It does, but it's fine. You moved in the mission behind Barry Connick Jr. That's fine. All right, so I will enlarge

giant lork in the house. I'm now eight times heavier, which means I'm over 1,000 pounds. In a lork. You weigh more than the cage. I will power attack this wolf. Natty 17, critical threat. Hit. That is a keen greatsword.

Roll to confirm the crit. Roll to confirm the crit. 22 to confirm. Confirmed crit. Confirmed crit. If I may, just please let me roll this damage. Swing through. Double damage and one free attack against an adjacent foe at the same bonus.

So I'll attack Galabras. That makes sense. I'm all huge now. By the way, Galabras and Baron are crying. Oh, that's right. They're so sad. They're so sad. Okay, so double damage is going to be

50 points of damage. Oh my god! I mean, you literally, as you were getting big, you raised Gorham's Thorn above your head and just cleft the wolf straight down the middle into two perfect halves. Like a cantaloupe. That is awesome.

Awesome! And Greteldeck is like, Nimble! That was a dumb name! You already killed Scar. Scar and Nimble? You're really bad at naming worlds. And now it is Galabras' turn.

I'm gonna channel. Thanks. Galabras channels. Eight. Can you stand half on the bed, Joe, or should I move you off of the bed thing? They're just cots, right? Like on the ground? Can I stand on?

No, they're three beds. So they're raised. Yeah, they're three normal sized beds. Right there? Oh, okay. And I step behind Baron and Della. Take a five foot step. Okay.

It is now the only remaining enemy in the room, as far as you know, Gwensildek. Tears in her eyes at seeing her two dire wolves, her pets, Nimble and Scar, probably the only thing keeping her company after being rejected by the storm tyrant. She goes, seeing how easily she could hit Della, she goes

into full-on power attack mode. Three attacks. Oh, come on. First attack. That's death. What about Ingerheld? Critical threat. Natty, 19. Oh my god. Second attack. Excuse me, to confirm. 18 to confirm.

Miss. Alright, so just a hit, a power attack hit. 17 points of damage. Second attack. You're conscious? Yep. Not even joking. Natural 20. Oh, my God.

To confirm. Cracked eye. Oh, fuck. You jerk. 16 to confirm. Not confirmed. I keep pulling the card out. Hits Della for 19 points of damage Della is down Della is unconscious

Seeing Della unconscious She then uses her last attack on Ingrahild 27 to hit Ingrahild She hits Ingrahild For 13 points of damage And Ingrahild is almost unconscious as well Alright this is serious now for 13 points of damage and Ingrihild is almost unconscious as well. All right, this is serious now. Grinsaldag.

Ah! Ah! Just vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom. Swinging wildly, it is Ingrihild's turn. Ingrihild, seeing Della fall, swings four times

at Grinsaldag. First attack, 29 to hit. Hits. Second attack, 29 to hit. Hits. Second attack, misses. Third attack, misses. Fourth attack, also misses.

She hit him once, hit her once, same thing just like last time, for six points of damage. This, she's like, I can't hit her! She's unhittable! Ingrahold yells round four One of your friends your new friend Your teenage girl orc you were supposed to protect Bleeding out on the floor It's Baron's turn

Baron is going to expend A grit point to quickly clear His jammed weapon And remove the status effect On it and He's gonna get up This is all. And he's going to get up. This is all happening through tears. He's going to get up.

Why didn't you tell me I was adopted? He's going to get up close and deadly. I mean, she's in melee combat, so it's just minus four, but there's no one. Minus four. Nobody blocking because Delia has fallen to her. Pulling both triggers, getting up close and deadly on both hits. Okay. So that is...

14 against touch? 14 against touch with minus two. Minus four. That is a, but minus two because... I already took that. That is a But minus two because I already took that Okay That is a hit And then my second attack is Minus

Twenty Twenty Yeah Against touch Definitely a hit Baron firing away Baron keeping the party alive So that is

Seriously Fourteen points of damage Crack die. 18 points of damage. 14 and 18? Yep. Woo! All right.

And I'm out of grit now. That's almost as good as two crits in a row, like Rensseldick did. Della's turn. Does she have to roll a constitution save? Yes. Her constitution check. What's your hit points at? Negative what?

Negative nine. DC 19. What is your con? I have 14, so plus two. Okay, I just wanted to know what your full. DC 19. DC 19, or you take another hit point. I just make it.

No, I don't. No, I miss. Sorry. You miss, so you lose a hit point. So negative 10. So Della is literally bleeding out. She is five points away from perma-death. And it is Barry Connick Jr.'s turn.

Barry goes and starts gnawing on Della's face. Say, Barry, attack! Barry full-on rushes Gransildek, leaps onto one of the beds, gets sort of like waist high with Grenseldeck and will provoke and attack with a bite. She does not take her attack of opportunity. I thought I'd get him.

Very smart. Very, very smart, Troy. Bite, miss. And then it's Lork's turn, right? And then it is Lork's turn. And then it's Galabras' turn. And then it's Grenseldeck's turn. Shit. All right, Lork's turn, right? And then it is Lork's turn. And then it's Galabras' turn. And then it's Grenzeldek's turn. Shit.

All right, Lork is going to hold up Gorim's thorn. It is now huge. It's like, I mean, it's like 10 feet long. The weapon grows with you. The weapon grows, yeah. So now you have a large Gorim's thorn. Yeah, I have this giant greatsword. He holds it up.

If you can crit with this. Yep, he goes into a rage. Rage is through at the site of grenzel deck now in large person correct me if I'm wrong your AC goes down but your strength you're to hit and your damage go up and your hit points go up points yeah it's all temporary giant face-to-face he's all bloodied with grenzel deck from the from the wolves and he's just like for justge a son! And he swings once. There it comes.

25 to hit. Hits. Yeah! Man, motherfucker! 3d6 plus 20. Damage. I love it. Holy shit!

Enlarged, raged, favored enemy. Oh, wow. And you didn't have to even get in her face, so you didn't provoke. No. 29 points of damage. Holy shit. Very nice. And then, second swing. Come on, Lark.

19 to hit. 19 misses. Misses. But not without doing... At least I did some damage before I died. 29 points of damage? 29 points of damage. It is Galabras' turn. I'm going to channel again. Thank you so much, Gal. Thank you.

Oh, nice. 14. Nice. Della's awake. Della's awake, lying on the ground. Disgruntled, like, see her open her eyes. She'd play dead. I think Della is, well, I mean, yeah, she's not going to do anything until her action. Della, stay down! Della. That won't give it

away or anything. Della, roll a bluff check. Ooh. I love it. 11. She sees you. She takes one swing at Ingrihold first. Power attack. Hits Ingrihold.

Uh-oh. Oh, jeez. Did you have her heal 14 from Gale? I didn't. But she just took 19 points of damage. And the other... And Ingrid goes down. Oh, shit. Then she takes a swing at Della. 16. Miss. Misses.

Minus 40 RAC. Still misses. Oh! Cat's Grace. Perfect. Very smart. Minus 40 RAC. Still misses. Oh! Cat's Grace. Perfect. Very smart. You like roll aside just as like, ding! And then the axe just hits the ground. I think now, correct me if I'm wrong, I think the Shocking Grasp is still,

you know, my scimitar is still... I think technically by the rules you have to roll concentration every round. And you got to... So I think if you went unconscious I think you... If you went unconscious, I think you lost it. I'm pretty sure. We looked this up before. Yeah. But you have to roll concentration every round. And you got to talk to him. So I think if you went unconscious, I think you... If you went unconscious, I think you lost it. I'm pretty sure. We looked this up before. Yeah. But you have to make a call right now, because we're not going to stop this. Right. The battle must continue. Keep going,

because I don't go to the next round. Okay, and now Masterwork Hand Axe at Lork. 25 to hit Lork. Oh, yeah. Hits Lork with the Hand hand axe for 11 points of damage. Boom, boom, boom. But now she is surrounded on all sides.

Ingrahild, unconscious. Della on the ground, almost just got super killed. Baron standing behind them with a pure, clean shot now. Barry Connick Jr. leaps over the bed to jump at Grenzeldek. And it's Ingrahild's turn. Ingrahild is unconscious lork is five feet away it's baron's turn baron grenzel deck the architect of true

now true now's demise is standing there ready to die i'm going to put her out of her misery i can talk as a free action anytime sure and someone can reply out of turn i'm gonna say ask skid what his next move is and see if he's gonna go before me or after me. Are you still just healing everyone, basically?

I don't want to give away what I'm doing. Okay, all right. Then I'm going to go, and I'm going to shoot at her three times. Okay. That hits. I could do the match. Sure. That hits again, same roll.

Nine against Touch match. Sure. That hits again. Same roll. Nine against Touch AC. Miss. So two hits for ten points of damage and 16 points of damage. She lives. She yet lives. Who knew the boss would have a ton of hit points? Della, lying on the ground. Stand up and provoke.

Is it my turn? Yep. Baron just riddled her with bullet holes, though. Della's going to withdraw. You can't stand up and withdraw. Lork did that once a long time ago. We got called out for it. So I could...

Who's next? Does Glabrous go next? Della, what do you do? You're on the ground. Della holds. Heartbeats. Hold. Della holds.

Very kind of junior. Very kind of junior. Full attack action. It can be almost impossible to hit with their AC, but Miss with a claw just hits the scale mail. Miss with a claw and then tries to sink his teeth in. 21. Miss as well.

Lork's turn. Giant. Lork. Lork. You got to do this, Lork. All right. He's got a full attack action. Gorm's Thorn.

He's huge. Take her down, Lork. Favorite enemy. Two attacks. Bottlecap. Oh. Oh. Bottlecap.

Nice. Turning that in. Roll twice. Take the better. Roll twice. Everyone at Oh. Bottle cap. Nice. Turning that in. Roll twice. Take the better. Roll twice. Everyone at home is hoping for that. Hoping for that one. I want that key.

Come on. First roll. Miss. Come on, bottle cap. Do me proud. Nope. 22. Fuck stick.

First attack, misses Second attack Vork, literally everyone's lives hangs in the balance 22 Miss Vork Couldn't do it, I just could not do it Galabras

Couldn't do it Couldn't roll over a 10 I gotta say it's because you hulked out so hard twice already You ripped off a grate and you were holding up a cage And you're just like, I have no accuracy anymore. Tora Peck, Galabras,

the healer, Desna's Grace, within you. Through tears, streaming down my face, I raise the hammer of Oskroth aloft. Electra! And move right,

interpose myself between Della and Grenzeldek. I get right up in her face and provoke. And she says, human. 28 to hit. To hit. Hits. Still in power attack mode.

Only 17 points of damage. Only 12 points of damage. Ah, DR5. All right, Giant Galabras, Ine Chuck, what do you do? I'm gonna swing. Oh my god, if he confirms a crit and shrinks her. Oh right, holy shit.

No, 17. 17 misses. Turn in your bottle caps. Oh yeah, you got three bottle caps, don't forget. Yeah, but I'm not gonna, like, it's gonna be so hard for me to hit her anyway. Oh, okay. I'm not going to waste them.

I just want to, like, protect Della. Give it to Troy when she attacks you. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's a good idea. Yeah. This is a big episode, big combat. She takes a five-foot step back and drinks a potion. We're going long this episode.

Oh, man! Potion of cure, Sirius. She provokes from Galabras. She provokes taking, oh, because he's giant now. Because he's also giant. Alright, Galabras, roll it up. Hit her! Nope, 19.

Nice try. And she just... Ingerhild. Ingerhild. Still unconscious. Round five? Della will act. Della will act. Della is going to stand up and chug a potion of cure moderate wound.

Ah, very smart. She waited. She played dumb. Grenzeldek needed the juice because you guys, especially Baron, almost straight up killed her. And now it's Baron's turn. Baron, weaken her up for your giant friends to take her out. Reload and

three shots. She just got a ton more hit points. Take them back. Take them back! 14? 14. Hits, touch. Is she still within 20 feet where she moved back? 15, 20, 20. So.

Oh, yeah, he had to move. Oh, you can't move on the bed. 15, 20. Can I go diagonal measuring this way? Five. Five. Oh, this is complicated. This is a game changer.

No, that's 20. Unless you guys think differently, because that's five. That's 10. 15, 20. Yep, that's fine. That's good to me. because that's 5. That's 10. 15, 20. Yep, that's fine. That's good to me. Okay, good. All right, so the first one.

That's just a bunch of minuses. It's actually minus 8. Okay. So the first one misses. Second one misses. Second one misses. Third one misses. Oh, Baron!

Boom, boom, boom. Baron misses Let's keep it moving Barry Connick Jr. Barry Connick Jr. Mork and Galabras Could have loved Some of those bullets

Barry Connick Jr. Does not care To walk out of this room With Grenzledeck alive So he's gonna Jump off the bed And right into Again melee range

Pursuing Okay Sounds like a dog I don't know why Is she gonna take an attack Of opportunes Nope Okay Barry Con like a dog. I don't know why. Is she gonna take an attack of opportunes? Nope. Okay. Barricadic Junior bites and misses. Swing and a miss.

B, C, J. Lork. Giant Lork. He doesn't even take a swift step up. He's a slow five foot step up. And again, doesn't provoke because you have reach. You don't need to get up in her. Exactly. He's still ten feet away from her. Keen, gigantic greatsword attack.

Natural three. Come on with this. Second attack. Three. Well, I still have a chance for a one. Here's the second swing. Natural two. A three. Come on, man swing. Natural two. A three.

Come on, man. And a two. Can I ask a question? Yeah. How do you sleep at night? It's not well, Matthew. I toss and turn all night. Galabras.

Galabras, you have a chance. It needed Baron or Lork to soften it up, but I mean, a crit, a confirmed crit to Shrinker would certainly change the tides. That would help. I'm going to take a... Can I take a five foot step back? Dead room. Giant Calabrus.

No, not really. Della actually has to kind of get out of the way, yeah. I'm going to cast Spiritual Weapon. Ah! A hammer of Askaroth comes from the ether. And it attacks on this round, right? Yeah. That's 25 to hit.

25 hits. There we go. When your companions can't hit her, at least your spiritual hammer can. Nine points of damage. Nine points of damage. Force damage. Alright. And it is Nine points of damage. Force damage. All right. And it is Grenzledek's turn. Okay.

Wait, Galabros just went, I move in the initiative order, don't I go now? You moved after Grenzledek. After Grenzledek. Grenzledek takes three attacks on Galabros. Power attack still. First attack. Natural 20.

Oh my god. I'm rolling two, 3, 6, 9, 6. She did crit twice on Della. She crit twice on me, but I don't think she confirmed them. She crit threat twice. Gonna let you behind the screen here. It is a plus 13 to confirm the crit. Alright.

30 to confirm. Nope. It is a named character, so we'll take the card. Here's your precious card. Since it is a hand axe, it is times three damage. Power attack. Ladies and gentlemen, this would be a slashing weapon. It says double damage, so it's going to be triple damage. And normal damage to the target shield, which I don't think Galabras has. I have a buckler.

You have a buckler? A buckler. Let me roll this damage. That's going to break the buckler. That's a magical buckler we found, right? It is, yeah. Oh my god. It was once mud-caked.

Oh my god. Joe, can you cut the music for a second? I'm not even kidding. Cut the music. I have never rolled, at least in this game, damage this high. Oh, shit. Are you kidding? It's a times three crit.

I'm going to write the damage down. Pass it over the table to you. I'm not buying a used car, goddammit! Why is Tom Exposition here? I want you to see I've written the damage down on an index card. I'm not buying a used car, goddammit! Why is Tom Exposition here? I want you to see, I've written the damage down on an index card. This is the actual damage. And I'm going to hold onto it for a week.

Oh, you are! Are you kidding me? Oh, you are! That is the single sickest thing that you have ever done. You're a bad person. You're just a bad person. You're just a bad person. You're actually a sadist. How many points do you have? Jesus Christ.

I have 44 hit points left. With the armor on, I have 44 hit points left. ស្រូវានប់ប្រូវានប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប� Thanks for watching!