The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 68 - Summon-Where Ogre the Pain-Bow

Episode Date: September 13, 2016

With the threat of Grenseldek out of the way, our heroes turn their attention to an incestuous band of ogres in the midst of a horrifying necromantic ritual! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. What do you think's going on here? Like, what is happening? A dark mystery. And in my time here, I've sensed an even greater evil coming. Well, it's so weird that someone would be plotting against Grinsuldeck right on the floor below her. A twisted ritual. This is a religious situation going on here.

So this hits. This has to hit Galabros on a gut level. And an ending. Bit of luck to Lork. This could be all it takes! You'll never... Two fumbles in a row! See...

Coming. Join us. Join us. Join us. The adventure continues now. Hello, baby! Hello, this is Skidmar. I don't know why I did that. Welcome to episode 68 of the Glass Cannon podcast. I would like to start out apologizing to one Laith Vance, who submitted a character concept, Shiro the Blind Oracle, to our character creation contest.

However, when our comptroller, Joe O'Brien, made the announcement last week, he attributed the character to Tony Martinez, to whom I'd also like to apologize uh as you might imagine joe has been operating under very little sleep lately with his newborn and so it won't happen again tony we will be sending you a little something something as a way of further apology for this massive massive error uh I also want to thank all the people who have left iTunes reviews lately. There've been a lot of them.

And everyone who's ever left an iTunes review for us. It's really just the best way for us to get new people listening to the podcast. And it's so, so helpful. Thank you so much to everyone who has done it. And if you haven't done it, come on and do it because it's super fun and you can get money for doing it sometimes but not certainly not from us

um and i also want to say that i cannot believe that galabras survived that critical last week and i spent the entire week before convinced that galabras was dead and that troy was the biggest asshole in christendom and i still really believe the second pretty firmly but i i'm just i i'm so happy he made it out alive because i think he's really starting to come into come into shape and grow in interesting ways and i think he has maybe some kind of cool compelling destiny in store uh possibly and a lot of people on social media have been advocating for a romantic relationship between galabras and della or delabras as the uh star magazine will probably call it um and i don't know about that only because it's would almost

certainly lead to some really uh awkward role play between me and matthew but who knows it's a fantasy world anything can happen but all that being said let us embark on our newest episode with surely the most tortured pun title yet episode 68 summonware ogre the pain bow It seems like forever ago that you were just setting foot on Rag's keelboat. It seems like just as long that you were first entering the Vault of Thorns. And now when you think about it, you've been in Red Lake Fort for, I mean, considering the amount of resting you've been doing, four days maybe, five days? Since your approach, your initial approach when you took on the patrol. You guys have been here for a while. You've killed a lot of people and things.

Yeah. And magical beasts. Ogrekin. Manticores. Ogres. Ogres. Or. And magical beasts. Ogrekin. Manticores. Ogres. Ogres. Orcs. A hill giant.

Orcs. Three hill giants. The patrol orcs. Three hill giants. Four hill giants. We've slayed some giants, you might say. You sure did. You sure did, Matthew.

And now, Grenzeldek dead. So threat over? Everything fine? No, Galabros made a promise to the spirit of Calrion Blix's ancestor, Fabian Blix, in order to free him from this place. He would bind the bones of the vile, cannibalistic Castellan, Tam and Varys. Find them somewhere here within the fort. Crush them on the altar of Desna and free Fabian. So now you're in the bowels of the keep

on the southwestern portion of Red Lake Fort. And there is some sort of demonic ritual going on with three ogres, two grossly pregnant females with clothes barely covering them. Did I mention they're tracing in the sand with great clubs? I should have mentioned that. And then turns around this huge bellied ogre this huge bellied ogre with a staff in one hand

and almost like runes tattooed or etched onto his skin. Branded maybe. They look like they're branded. Branded. And says something about Zora, something about wanting to eat Grenseldeck alive, something about disturbing his ritual

and trying to bring back the spirit behind these bones that lay in front of him in this giant sand pit. You guys have had a week to think about it. What do you think's going on here? Like, what is happening? Well, it's so weird that someone would be plotting against Grinseldeck right on the floor below her. Right, two floors down.

Yeah. I mean, has she really just not come out of that room for days? It must have been days or even weeks. Well, not weeks, but maybe weeks before we got here. And they must have just been like she's a useless leader and i mean outside of the problems she's had with the orcs we know historically that these alliances are fragile and galarian's a pretty old place uh the fact that like giants and ogres aren't the masters of the whole planet is possibly because all they do is infight with each other

because they think someone's taking the wrong path. Maybe this person was the top, the secretary of magic under Gretzold X range and is finally like, I gotta, it's a coup. Yeah. And it's not been entirely clear since the first enemies you fought in here were Ogrekin. I said a million times, you came in expecting giants and orcs, and you fought Ogrekin.

And then there were ogres downstairs, and now there's ogres in the basement of here, and it looks like you're dealing with the head of the group. So these are the ones that came and took over the fort, but somehow became subjugated by Grenzeldach when she was a force to be reckoned with. became subjugated by Grenseldek when she was a force to be reckoned with. But then when the failure on True Now, the raid of True Now happened, when the Storm Tyrant rejected her,

and when the spirit of Tam and Varius infected her mind with a curse of melancholy, everything fell apart, and maybe this Pappy is the one that is now trying to take over. Step up. And now you've got to face him. And now is now trying to take over. Step up. And now you've got to face him.

And now you've got to fight him. And you've got to rid this place of evil. And I'm sure all of you have a stake in this. These are giant subtype creatures. Lork and Baron don't like that. Della has come to love her companions. And so any affront to them is an affront to her. But this is a religious situation going on here.

So this hits Galabras, who is really feeling Desna and is seen maybe almost just joined Desna in the afterlife recently. This has to hit Galabras on a gut level. In addition to the pledge, the very serious promise that he made to Fabian to cleanse this place, I mean, he would want to do it anyway. This is so disgusting to me, to Galadras personally. It's just, yeah. so all those feelings all those emotions everything that red light fort has come to mean to you guys is now sort of culminating in this room my other question was when you

when we opened the door last week and you said there was sand in there i thought of like quick sand traps so it looked like it's just surface level like is it stuff they got from the nearby like river shore that there's sand like where is there is there sand elsewhere in the fort is it stuff they got from the nearby like river shore that there's sand that like where is there is there sand elsewhere in the fort is it easy to get i would say lor just looking over the shoulder of della into the room recognizes this is immediately this is where they train the soldiers in the sand ah so it sops up any of the incidental blood that drops. So you don't slip on it. Oh, okay. But now has become home to some possibly demonic ritual.

So there's like little hay men around the corner. Right. Yeah, this is like an armory. Training area. This is where this would all go down. And is the skeleton humans? Giants? A giant's? Is it whole?

Can't quite see, but it's much smaller than them. And it looks like... Headless? Looks like the only thing that it's missing is a head. Yep. Good thing we...

I'm glad we did that before we came here. Yeah. Yeah, me too. Yeah, you guys always open the door. I still wish I had. Imagine we brought the skull in. Just bolted in and shut the door. My son's not stupid enough

to bring the diary here. Roll for initiative. All right. Roll for initiative. There you go, Lork. All right. There you go, Lork. The two women are up front.

Pappy is in the back. Who rolled over 20? Mm. Mm. Solid start. 18 for Lork. Very strong caster. 18 for Lork and Connick.

Anybody over 15? Anybody over 10? Oh, no. 10 exactly. 10. 10 exactly. 10 exactly. I guess you weren't really expecting this when you think about it.

It's not like we did reconnaissance missions around here. Yeah. Right. All you saw was a cold. Nine hours before. Nine for Della. I don't remember. Did anyone ready actions, though?

Nope. Nope. I remember. I got it. Nine for Della. And Galabras? Three. Galabras with a three.

This is just such an affront. I'm going to put this die at the back. To his religion. Inga goes right before Galabras. Round one. A incredibly important combat for Red Lake Fort. To perhaps rid the evil spirits from this entire fort and cleanse this place.

Lork, you're up. Ooh, nice. Okay, Lork is going to take a five-foot step back. Okay. To give a little space to everybody to maybe fall back if they'd like, draw them out of the room possibly. And he's got, he had his bow out. That's what he had out.

So he's going to take a step back. He eyes up this mage ogre in the distance. And he's going to fire at him three times. Okay. And he's going to get some sort of cover, I believe, with Della standing in front of you. Yeah, so plus two to his AC, I believe. And he's going to do a little deadly aim rapid shot. So I'll give him plus two to his flat-footed.

Yes, plus two to his flat-footed AC. Here we go. Attack one. Attack one. Haven't shot the black arrow longbow in a little bit since the first ogre fight. Get ready for that one! Natural five. Son of a biscuit!

Second shot. 18 to hit. Miss. Oh, that's bad. Oh, boy. This is very bad. Oh, no, I'm sorry. That hits. That hits. Second shot. 18 to hit. Miss. Oh, that's bad. Oh, boy. This is very bad. Oh, no. I'm sorry.

That hits. That hits. Favorite enemy. Well, I'm sorry. Does a 19 hit? A 19 does hit. Wait. Did I say 18?

Yeah. So, sorry. It's 22. It's plus four. Joe, do me a solid and just tell me exactly what the number is. It's 22. We only have an hour. I forgot.

I forgot. I always forget. So, that's a hit, right? Yes. 22. We only have an hour. I forgot. I forgot! I always forget. So that's a hit, right? Yes. Okay. That is a hit. He does 13 points of damage with the arrow.

Okay. And then third shot, 18 to hit. Miss. Terrible. So Lork just... One lands true Ladies and gentlemen

Nobody hates demons All right he's gonna stay He's gonna wait to see what Della and Baron do Thrilling Okay It is now Ramon's turn Nope that says Baron

I can never read my writing. It's the middle name. Razor Ramone. One of the best wrestlers ever. Baron's going to shoot three times at the foremost orc that's within 20 feet of him. Ogre. Ogre, ogre, ogre, ogre. Hit one.

Two female ogres he fires at the foremost one. He is within 20 feet. 19 against touch. Okay, and that's a double door so that will hit. Second one is a 24 against touch. Two hits. Third one is an 8 against touch.

That is a miss. That is 17 points of, or no, I'm sorry, 17 points of damage followed by 14 points of damage. Oh, baby. Okay.

Sheepish Baron. Just poof, poof, poof. All right. The one that Baron just shot steps up to the door and attacks Baron. With a great club. By the way,

blocking the doorway completely with her immense, gross size. Misses. Misses Baron! Yeah! With a great club. Wow. It is Della's turn. I'm gonna roll concentration. Shocking grass. Full round action, baby. Full to roll concentration Shocking grass Full round action baby

Full round action Shocking grass Spell combat Spell strike Love it Love it So concentration first For the spell right

Okay Didn't get it Twelve So It swings its club at you Or do you just lose the spell It's both If you want If you want to take the attack of opportunity He. Or do you just lose the spell? It's both. If he wants to take the attack of opportunity,

he can take it and you lose the spell. It's your choice. What, it's my choice? You have the attack of opportunity. If you want to take the attack of opportunity. He loses the spell too? I lose the spell regardless. Loses the spell regardless.

Yeah, I'll take the attack of opportunity. Miss. Okay, then I'm going Swing my flaming scimitar Regularly Okay That was my swift action That was your swift action Alright

Hurt him 17 to hit 17 Hits Yeah Should've shot the other ones No I mean He was dead center

13 points of damage You kill it And it clogs the doorway. Oh. 13 damage? Mm-hmm. Oh, something's going to come out of its gullet. Smoker can are going to pop out. Well, this is one Baron shot.

Baron already riddled it. Oh, okay. All right. I still think you're right. It clogs the doorway, so getting past it will be difficult terrain. Okay. It is now Pappy's turn. Pappy. Big Pappy.

Casts with his wand. What you doing? That sounded great. I'm trying to think. If you cast a spell with a wand, does it still take the amount of time that the spell takes? It's everything about the spell. Okay, so he a spell with a wand, does it still take the amount of time? Absolutely. That the spell takes? It's everything about the spell. Okay.

So he begins casting with a wand. Ingerhold's turn. Ingerhold's like, she whips out her bow and takes one shot at the other sister. She's got to go into the room. All right.

You know what then? She'll just whip out her bow and begin walking through the difficult terrain. She's not going to get super far, and that's going to be her action. She gets just inside the room. Yeah. And it is now Galabras' turn. Just imagine this is all difficult terrain here.

Right in front of the door. Right in front of the door. Huge, gross ogre bod. Galabras. So Ingrid Hill is basically on top of the door. Right in front of the door. Huge, gross ogre bod. Galabras. So, Angry Hill is basically on top of the dead body, grabbing her bow unwritten. Her interests include ogre surfing? Gal. Galabras says a silent prayer to Desna

and casts prayer. Oh, nice. I love that spell. Desna and casts prayer. So, each of you, all of my allies gain a plus one to hit and damage, I think, and all the enemies have a minus one. Yeah, plus one on attack rolls, weapon damage rolls, saves, and skill checks.

Each of the foes takes a minus one penalty on the lose. Ooh, prayer. A very appropriate spell for this situation. Keep me honest on my minus ones, as I will forget. Round one is over. One of the pregnant ogres, you murderers, is dead. Or bleeding out. It is round two, and it is Lork's turn.

Big massive orc, excuse me, big massive ogre dead in front of the doorway. Ingrahild is on top of it trying to climb over. Hmm, this is a tough situation. Lork is going to hold. Lork is shooting.

The doorway is so crowded with his allies, he can't shoot past them. So Lork and Barry are just going to be like, ah. Waiting for the right opening. Okay.

Ramon. Razor. Ramon. Baron is outside of the touch AC range of the next ogre. He doesn't particularly want to walk into that room. I don't blame him.

So he's going to stand next to Lork, basically. And just kind of be like, give him a little wink and a nod. Get him out of that room. Fall back! All right, so you guys are just like, I don't know what to do tactically here. So you're just backing up, trying to take a second to plan it out. It is the other ogre's turn.

The other ogre. See, you know what? I didn't think I should have shot at him anyway, because even if it's a long shot, I could interrupt his spell. Yep. I didn't even think of that. I forgot he was casting. Damn it! The other ogre will just stand right in front of her,

presumably her mate, blocking him, and then hold her standard action. And... We're all in a line. Yep. All the allies and enemies are in a straight line. A lightning arc. A ten-foot-wide line.

It is now Della's turn. Magic missile on the caster. Magic missile on the caster. Hits no matter what. 8 plus 3, 11 damage. 11 damage. And does that interrupt his casting? Yes, he has to roll a concentration check.

He does. 10 plus the damage dealt. DC. Let me see what his concentration bonus is. 10 plus the damage dealt, so it's DC 21? Yes. Please. Please.

But you did hit him for 11 points of damage. And then Della will take a, she'll move 10 feet to the left to kind of get ready outside the door. Or actually, take me diagonally back. Okay, Lurk is going to act. Della got out of his way. There's a clear shot to the first ogre. Yes. Meanwhile, Ingrahild's there, but... It's a square over.

He's ten feet wide. She's only five feet. Whatever. Taking him five foot square. So he's going to shoot right to the left of Ingrahild. An arrow flies by, and well, it'll probably hit her. Let's see. This is a convenient way to get your revenge. Oh, I was aiming for the ogre. Exactly.

Here we go. With a prayer. With a prayer for that first ogre. 15 to hit. Favorite enemy? Did you have that? I did. That was another natural five.

Oh, okay. Oh, my God. Second shot. 21 to hit. That is a hit. All right. There we go, Lork. There we go, Lork. There we go, Lork. Oh, my God. Second shot. 21 to hit. That is a hit. All right. There we go, Lork. There we go, Lork.

There we go, Lork. 19 points of damage. Oh, baby. Oh, he knows how to shoot ogres. I hate giants. And then Natty, 19, 24 on the third shot. Nice. And he does 20 points of damage.

Yeah. Max damage. Dead. Yeah. Nice. Can't fudge those numbers. You absolutely Max damage. Oh. Yeah. Nice. Can't fudge those numbers. Lord. Absolutely killed her.

Two headshots. So again, a big mound of dead body in front of her. Or at least dying body, I should say. Yeah, exactly. Okay. Maybe we should coup to grace those bodies. That would be a great thing to shout to Ingrid. Yeah.

She's standing on one. Oh, she's standing right on the stomach. Right next to Galabras and Baron, a dire bat appears. Oh, weird. Whoa. Wand of Summon Monster 3. Oh. Wand of Summon Monster 3.

Here comes the Direbat, and it attacks the Gunslinger. Everybody's favorite Gunslinger, but just one bite. 21 to hit. You said it's giant? It is large. It is not giant. It's not, yeah, okay. Giant subtype. It is not giant. It's not, yeah, okay. It's not a giant subtype.

It's a giant bat. It bites you for 11 points of damage. I think it would have more than one attack for a... Am I reading the right creature? Yes, move on. You're done. It's already gone. It's already in the past. You didn't let us use our bottle caps.

Finger off the chest piece. Doesn't a dire bat do more? I feel like Summon Monster 3 should be a more powerful creature. I think the fans want to know how this battle is going to turn out.

It does not have two attacks. It doesn't, okay. So yeah, but I mean it does almost max damage. Hits Baron and then it is Pappy's turn.

Pappy. Pappy. Baron. And then it is Pappy's turn. Pappy. All of a sudden, anyone who has a clear view of Pappy notices three other Pappys appear next to him. Oh, no. Oh, no!

Mirror images are the worst. What's the lighting like down here, by the way? It is... What's the ambiance? You know, it's candlelit, so it's dim light. But you guys don't like taking your 20 cents. They took the drywall down. It by the way. It is... What's the ambiance? You know, it's candlelit, so it's dim light. But you guys don't like taking your 20% chance. They took the drywall down.

It's exposed brick. It's really romantic. Are we actually rolling like 20% mischance? We should be doing it, but I can't keep track of all these things. Okay.

Ingrahild's turn. Ingrahild keeps climbing over and makes it within, you know... She doesn't make it too far, but she's gonna take a shot with her bow. Do we want to shout to her that she could coup de grace that monster? We did.

Troy decided not to do it, that's fine. Well, she already has her bow out, she's not gonna switch weapons again. She missed, 13 to hit with her one shot on the bow, and it is now Galabras' turn. I'm gonna full withdraw and move into the room. Ah. The bat, I think the bat'll get probably one bite off.

And misses with the bite, so. Snaps at Galabras as Galabras runs into the room. Galabras versus a demon sorcerer or whatever. Round three. Baron, because everybody's changed their initiative here. Baron takes a five-foot step backwards. Mm-hmm. And he's going to do what he does best,

which is sing a song. No, he's going to shoot it. All right, it's going to bite you. With a five-foot step back? Yeah, because you're using a ranged weapon. That always provokes attack by opportunity. So he has, oh, he has reach. Bites you.

18 to hit? No. No? Misses. Dodges, fires. 16 against touch AC. 16 against touch AC on the bat is a hit. Oh, I'm sorry, 17.

Hit, hit, hit, hit, hit. All right, next one. 16 again. That's a hit. Last one is a again. That's a hit. Last one is a 10. That is a miss. 12. 12.

Dead. That is dead. Nice job. Oh man, this poor... Never mind. This caster's dead. Welcome to dead spell. That's why I'm looking at this and I'm like,

Summon Monster 3, this bad seems pretty shitty. Oh, Summon Monster 3 is not that great that great yeah uh okay so the bad is dead so now it's just the caster well there's four versions of him and it is i don't know that that guy's dead it is della's turn della seeing galabras rush into the room is gonna follow so i'm gonna move into the room as far as i can go with one move action and then I'm going to cast Anticipate Thoughts. Oh, go on. Tell me about Anticipate Thoughts. So this gives me a,

I tap into the target's mind. So I'm going to tap into the caster's mind. You're going to attempt to tap into the caster's mind. Nope, I always tap into his mind. Really? I get a plus two insight bonus to AC against his attacks. Do you have to be able

to see him? Yeah, I'm moving into the room first. Okay. And then you roll a will save to see if I can see what you're going to do.

Ah. Or see how you're going to react to what I do. It failed its will save. Yeah. So now I get a bonus to my attack

and damage rolls. So I get plus two attack and damage rolls against him. Oh, shit. Wow. That's awesome. Remind me not to forget my AC bonus damage rolls. So I get plus two to attack and damage rolls against him. Oh, shit. Wow. That's awesome. Remind me not to forget

my AC bonus. I moved you in as far as you could go. Great. Okay, and you don't have to know which one of the images he was to do that. I don't think so, right?

No, it has to be a... Just line of sight. Yeah. You can see all of them. You're into his mind. You know what's going on. Okay, Lor. It's not like I'm pointing at one and shooting him.

I'm like tapping into the mental energy. Uh, can you take a, a move action and, and then charge? No. Uh, a charge is part of a move action.

Right. But what if you have the move action? So I'm saying, what if I use my quick runner shirt To start And then charge And then attack The quick runner shirt gives you an extra move action With the quick runner shirt I'll allow you to do that Absolutely

Take your move action So you want to move into a straight line Yeah I'm going to drop the bow And go I mean it's like It's about 50 feet I measured it out So I have to move up 20

And then roughly another 30 Does that include the corpse of the ogre? I counted. That's 30. Well, I guess you can't charge past that. There's two corpses in there. But dude, use the quick runner shirt to get up and it's great.

Charging is a full round action. Okay, so yeah, I won't do that. I can't do it. Did you want to move it? I'm all about you using the quick runner shirt. Like I said, yeah, I won't do that. I can't do it. Did you want to move it? I'm all about you using the quick run. Like I said, it's completely useless. That's just... Because what's the point of triple moving and then not hitting it and standing in front of it? It was useful when you were fourth level when I gave it to you.

I could use that thing all the time. Exactly. All right. I would... I will move... There. Oh, God. And no more

um Lork are you feeling these demon spirits are you becoming indecisive in your old age uh I just

I just know that uh Lork gets a sick feeling whenever he's up against like magical caster people that they're just gonna make him

do something terrible to his friends uh so yeah that's what he's gonna do he's gonna to do. He's going to start charging into the room, but he has very limited movement.

Do you want to move twice or once? That is twice. Periconic Jr.? Oh, come with me. Okay, the bat is dead. The two pregnant women are dying. One of them is already a heap of dead. The other one that's laying in front of Pappy is dying, is bleeding out in the sand.

Not like maybe the soldiers that were practicing many years ago. Pappy, now Axe. Who is up front there in a line? I see Galabras. Who's in the middle? Lork. Lork. And then Ingrid Hilt.

They're side by side by side in front of him, about 15 feet away. Okay. Here it comes. Scorching Ray. Okay. side in front of him about 15 feet away okay uh here it comes scorching ray uh scorching ray is just against one person i believe right yes you can have multiple rays though yeah um pappy does not happy as one ray this guy's going down. To hit launch. Don't jinx us. Natural. One. You son of a bitch! Just to confirm the fumble.

Spell fumble. Wow. Holy crap. Those are usually pretty ugly. This is a first for the podcast. Spell fumble. I mean, you guys came in here ready oh I should I should point out had you made noise and

made yourself known he would have had mirror image already cast he would have had an AC buff already cast he would have all the stuff cast but you walked in and

interrupted them and because of grants great stealth role only one of the sisters knew you guys were there so we didn't have time to precast protection so he's in rough shape so we didn't have time to pre-cast protection. So he's in rough shape. So it wasn't a total waste

that we got. Not at all. Oh, this might be game over. Here's the magic fumble. Jumbled components. You can only take a move action next round. The only thing saving Pappy is the fact that there's four of them. That'll keep him alive a little while.

And it is now Ingerhild's turn. Ingerhild, bow at the ready, just fires off two shots. First attack, possible fumble. Ingerhild fumbles the first attack. And then the second one. Well, hold on. Before her second attack, you got to see what happened. She definitely missed the second one.

This is a two fumbles in a row! Ingrahild. Awkward attack. You take a minus two penalty to your AC for 1d4 rounds. For two rounds. So Ingrahild's AC goes down by two. Everything's falling apart, but you guys

still have the upper hand here. Golaverus. What are you gonna do? You see this guy. He's not in great shape, but there's four of them. I'm going, I'm going to cast a spiritual weapon. Spiritual weapon. Askaroth's hammer appears where and what does it do? Right behind him and swings. Okay.

20. Possible hit, roll a d4. A four will hit him. anything else will destroy a mirror image 3 1 mirror image destroyed Nope, that's good, that's great 3 pappies left Nice job, Gal

And now it is round 4 Baron Baron will double move Baron is going to double move Della move Baron is going to Double move Della Uh Della is going to Uh

Step up Roll acrobatics To avoid the attack of opportunity If he takes one Trying to get right up in his face And get right up in his grill Okay Uh

He does in fact Reach out With a claw Nineteen He attacks you That was a two on the die Ugh He does, in fact, reach out with a claw. 19. He attacks you. That was a two on the die. Oh, brutal.

And he hits you with a claw. It's not too bad. Minus two to attack. Yeah, you gotcha. 20, almost 30. Eight points of damage. Not too bad. But just, ah, you feel this Claw of like Dark energy Go through your

Translucent skin Okay I'm gonna take I'm gonna swing with my Swift action Keen my scimitar Now you use An acrobatics check

To get up there Did you have the Oh nah You can't It got you with a claw But it didn't do Too much damage I'll be up in there

That was the best case Scenario for that And you know he can't Attack you next round, so you're good. Lork. Lork is going to charge and attack with Gorim's Thorn. But you ended in difficult terrain.

Oh, yeah, so he's not going to charge. He's just going to move up and attack. Okay. Move up and swing Gorim's Thorn. 26. Roll a d6. If you roll a 5 or a 6, it hits him. Anything else's Thorn. 26. Roll a d6. If you roll a 5 or a 6, it hits him. Anything else kills him here. 5.

Hits. Hits him. Hits Pappy. Okay, and he does 19 points of damage. That's no joke. Good stuff out of Gorm's Thorn. Okay. That's it. Barry Connick Jr.'s Thorn. Yeah, man. Okay. That's it.

Barry Connick Jr. will also attack. Ah, Barry Connick Jr. I'm assuming he doesn't have combat reflexes, and that's why he didn't hit me with an attack of opportunity. He does not. All right. Then Barry didn't get one either, and he'll get one bite in. 16 to hit.

Miss. All right. Sorry, Barry. Pappy's hands His claws Start Shock Like moving with electricity Shocking grasping

And he just For you For Lork? I thought he could only move That doesn't make any sense He can only move You're right It was fumble

Well tits Because I rolled a 19. Yeah! All right, so he just... So he loses the spell. Yeah, he can only move because of the fumble, so he just slowly backs away. You guys have cornered this ogre sorcerer.

Shit! All right, it's Ingerhild's turn. Ingerhild takes two shots. Probably takes a five-foot step, but then... Yeah, she's Ingerhild's turn. Ingerhild takes two shots. Probably takes a five foot step. Yeah, she's got a clean shot. She actually hit on the first one and missed on the second one. She hits for eight points of damage.

Roll the mirror image. Ah, the mirror image. So now there's still three. Roll a D6. Have you rolled a five or a six? She killed one of the mirror images. She got a two out of a D6. So there's only Pappy and one mirror image left.

So Ingerh Hill did her part. Sure did. It is now Galavris' turn. Galavris, pure evil in front of you. I'm going to move behind Lork and Della and give a bit of luck to Lork. Bit of luck to Lork. This could be all it takes.

Spiritual weapon? Oh, and the spiritual weapon. Oh, spiritual weapon. Good call, Matthew. 15. No good, no good. No, 16. But it's still not good. But it is now round four. It is Baron's

turn. You guys are picking apart. Just killing pregnant ogres. Killing celestial dire bats. This guy is so dead. He's going to be so bullet to the face. Just kill him before the next round. Baron's going to get up close and deadly. Okay.

Three times. Prepare to meet your maker, however evil he may be. Natural 20. Natural 20. Like I said, roll the shot to the head. 17 on the die. Unadjusted. Confirmed crit. Shot to the head. Ah! 17 on the die. Unadjusted. Confirmed crit.

Oh, fuck yes. Time's for John! Remember, double damage means quadruple damage for you. If you knock someone into a wall, will it hurt them? No. I thought normally it did if you, like, hit them. Anyway. All right, so then I will do the...

It's going to kill him regardless. Terrible bruise. Double damage in 2d6 not lethal damage there you go roll four times damage on pappy gutter crunch let me do the up close and deadly first crunch so nine points of uh precision damage seven points of non-lethal damage and 64 points of damage I just see Baron like the last round he was climbing over the dead body of the pregnant ogre and just like aiming up his sights

perfect boom bring out the back of the hand happy gutter crunch is no more gutter crunch well that's a cool name Happy Gutter Crunch is no more Gutter Crunch oh well that's a cool name

Della anticipated his thought after the gun fired and that brief instant it was oh god oh god what is that

magical hand just it just falls to the ground deadzo oh nice job nice

nice job I mean. Nice job. I mean, it would be interesting if you guys had went down, I mean, honestly, if you'd went down there before the Grenzel deck fight, you're in pretty much

the same position. Obviously, you're well rested. Now, to have done this fight without a full night's rest might have been a little bit more difficult. It's not like Galabras channeled. It would have been the same.

It's not like you guys were crushing potions. It would have been the same. I mean, I didn't actually, my one magic missile was the only spell I used that hit. The big difference

that it made was not making noise before you went in there. As if it had time to prepare. Except for all the gunshots upstairs yesterday. Right.

Did it hear us when Baron and I snuck down there yesterday? Like, we got in the room. It did not hear you. Okay. But, like, it did hear the gunshots.

But that's why I didn't pick up the cauldron, because I had a feeling moving a big, heavy cauldron would knock stuff around. Perhaps it would. Perhaps it would. So let's investigate these here bodies. Tell me what you're doing. Perception on the bones?

Well, I'll search the bodies. All right, searching the bodies. Let's start with the female ogres. They had a great club each and a little bit of a loincloth to cover their bodies. That's it. I fashion an eye patch out of it. Perfect. Gross.

It's about the same size. Pappy has a magical javelin oh cool pappy has a wand which i've already told you is wand of summon monster three it has eight charges left nice pappy has two scrolls pappy has a magical headband. Sounds magical. That's what Pappy has. Nice. Spell crafty, spell crafty.

Happy Peter, my coach. That sounds like a Della special, that headband. But we'll see. 14. No dice. No dice. We've got to ask Fabian. Gally gal gal.

You have spellcraft? I don't. All right. Well, we'll take got to ask Fabian. Gally gal gal? You have spoke cards? I don't. All right. Well, we'll take it, and then I'll try it tomorrow. Yeah. Oh, wait. No, of course I do. What am I talking about?

And I'm going to give myself a bit of luck. Perfect. Oh, 27. 27. Two scrolls of speak with dead. Very cool. two scrolls of speak with dead very cool one javelin of lightning oh cool can you tell us more about that

javelin of light javelin of lightning if I'm not mistaken is pretty useless I think it's like a one time use weapon might be a one time use it's like throwing a lightning bolt you just throw one it's like one lightning bolt.

It's, I mean, it's great damage. And you can sell it for like 2,000 gold. And you have to roll to hit. If you miss, you just lose it. Well,

you get a bit of luck from Gul Hebrus to shoot a javelin lightning. True strike plus a, or, oh no, that's just for an actual. Yeah,

I mean, I think it probably does like four or five D6. It's not, it's no joke. I remember getting one before and being like, God,

this thing sucks. When I, once I read it. And the headband? I don't know if you're going to fight over it or not, because it's not quite for your particular classes, but it's something that could come in handy when I kill one of you and you start a new class.

It is a headband of alluring charisma plus two. I could fucking use that. He gets more channels. Sure. The javelin becomes a 5d6 lightning bolt when thrown. DC 14 reflects for half, and it is consumed in the attack. It's not bad.

Not a bad little thing. Wait, so you sell it for, how much is it worth? 750 gold. Would you rather have that? Yeah, you can get 750. Wait, there was a magical javelin, and there were two scrolls.

Would you rather have a wand of cure light wounds were two scrolls Two scrolls to speak with dead Javelin of lightning By the time you sell it it's only half that value Oh that is half Yeah it's 1500 Any hoops On the far wall of the chamber You see

A painting Of a man This guy. Can I inspect the painting to see if it's like one of those weird Donald Duck, Scrooge McDuck, Scooby-Doo things. I turn it and then

a door opens? No, you may not. You can do a knowledge local or a knowledge nobility. Local. I'll roll those two. Natural 20, 25. Natural 20. 25 Natural 20 You

I'm just going to let you know this You notice that the uniform On the painting And on the skeleton Is that of a commanding officer Lork if you took a sec And didn't even come in there you'd figure that out on your own So they did this seance kind of like

In Beetlejuice where they laid the clothes down and resurrected them inside of it. It wasn't just bones? No, they probably dressed it in the bones. They had the bones, but they didn't have the head. And maybe it was the only thing he was missing to complete the thing. But sure enough, as you walk up to the painting, it does say in a little caption underneath, Tam and Varius,

Castellan of Red Lake Fort. Bring the painting. We're going to burn that, too. Burn the painting! Lork is going to grab the bones. Okay. Grab up the bones and just say, the quicker we get out of here, the better.

Let's go crush these on the altar. Della will take the painting. Our work is done here. Della takes the painting. Yeah, the better. Let's go crush these on the altar. Della will take the painting. Our work is done here. Della takes the painting. Yeah, the only other thing in there are the runes that they were drawing in the sand, the runes on his stomach. Other than that, the room seems pretty empty. I definitely have an eerie feeling.

Della, for good measure, will kick up the sand to make sure the runes are not intact. Della wipes out all the runes. I check all of the ogres and make absolutely sure they're dead. They're dead? Yes. The last one that was dying right in front of Pappy Garter Crunch died shortly after your bullet pierced his brain. Cool.

All right. Back to the game. You guys really fucked him up. He had some cool stuff. I just can't do it. Never going to see it. On my way out, I'm just going to the day. And you guys really fucked him up. He had some cool stuff. I just can't do it. Never going to see it. I just, on my way out, I'm just going to kick sand to the side as I walk out to see if anything's hidden. You don't see anything.

Cool. Was he a sorcerer or a wizard? He was, in fact, a sorcerer. An ogre sorcerer. What was the headband called again? Headband of Alluring Charisma plus two. Great. I mean, that might even give you...

You're going to be super good at diplomacy. That might give you an extra channel. No, not an extra channel. It does. It gives him an extra channel every day. Does it? Yeah. That's going to...

Jeebus, that's huge. Glamorous is even more likable. It also increases, if I'm not mistaken, the DC. Does it increase the DC? Yeah. Or is that a wisdom? Oh, I can't remember. It also guarantees that if and when Skid dies, he's coming back as a paladin.

Guarantees it. A Knight of Ozen. Ooh, perfect. So the only other thing is like the uniform on the skeleton. Do you take the uniform as well? Bring it. We'll burn it. It might be worth a hundred gold pieces.

We're going to destroy it. Destroy it. Okay. Okay. So you climb back upstairs. You're back in the room of the hill giants. Somebody peeks their head out. I'm assuming Lork, maybe. Rose of three stealth. Nothing.

Okay. Got to get to that thing. Nothing. It is daylight. You don't hear the noise of a crowd. We don't hear the fighting pits. You don't hear the fighting pits. You don't hear fire.

It is eerily, eerily quiet. All right. Well, let's move quick. Move quickly. Yep. I'm going to run. For our last and final trip, running from the fort to the sanctuary,

to the chapel, Lork will run the bones to the chapel. All right, so run the jewels. Lork solo runs the bowls? The bones? The bowls? No, I assume we're all running. Yeah, we're all running.

Okay, so everybody's just like... Back to the chapel. Get through. You're looking around. You see nothing. You see nothing. The bodies are there. That's it.

You get in the chapel. Your Holiness. Fabian. I believe we have recovered the rest of the remains of the traitor various here. And I like dump them down on the ground. Del puts the picture right on top for reference. Please destroy them on the altar of Desna.

I shall. And I gathered them up and I, Della hands her flaming scimitar to Gale in case he wants to use it yeah it's just like it's an honor put them down there again it lifts the scimitar up over his head for Desna smash smash smash smash

the statue of Desna just now all of you see it lighting up with the fury of Galabras' strikes and the power of Askaroth's hammer. Fabian's ghostly image glows, and he seems, for a moment, almost corporeal. It's like his eyes, he closes his eyes and his head goes up,

and you see a great relief upon his face. Thank you. Thank you, child of Desna. You and your companions have freed me, freed my soul from this evil, evil place. My last thought to you is that the world is a macrocosm of all the evil that I faced here. And in my time here, I have sensed an even greater evil coming. For you to do what you have done to save my soul, you will have to do far greater things to save the souls of all the others that live in this world.

Send my ancestor my love. And he disappears with a smile on his face. I look at the others and say, I think he meant to say his descendant. He comes back. Did I say his descendant? We know what you meant. Descend, sorry.

Goodbye. He fully comes back. I was almost positive he was going to a wig us and be like, now that the last obstacle to my ascension. You have brought my bones back. Curse! Curse! Curse! All the statues of desert just crumble in their place. It's just these statues to Lamashtu.

All right, so you've laid to rest this poor spirit. I'm sure Calrion will be overjoyed to hear this, assuming you can make it back to her. All right. And you have eliminated the threat of Grenzeldach. You have eliminated these ogres and ogrekin that took over this place. And now you're in this chapel.

You have, you know, you've got some magical items you found in the Vault of Thorns, a couple things from this place. And you see Ingrahild looking at you all like, we must get Umlo and get the fuck out of here.

Shit. You know, that reminds me. I want to go back down if we can. Fuck, I should remember this. I want to go back down, cut off Brinzoldek's head, and carry it with us. Oh, that's such a good idea. Shit. Fuck, that is a good idea. Shit.

Fuck. That is a good idea. Never thought of that. We'll just say a few seconds later, and then we're there. Do-do-lip-boop. We do one more shit back. Do-do-do-do-do-do.

I have no problem with you retconning that you decapitated. That's far. We would need to- I had been meaning, like, before we even came, like, I was like, oh, I gotta remember to do this. I mean, it's just awesome. I'll allow it on the rule of awesome. Assert your dominance over the fort.

All right, by its tufts of red hair. It's like out to the side. Talk to me, guys. What do you want to do? Droja wants your help as much as Ingrahild wants you to help Umlo. Droja wants you to help her to get out of there

as well. You know, is Karga going to allow that? What happens now? There was no discussion of what the plan is now. Does he, you know... Well, we know a secret... Sorry, go ahead. Wow. Check out those metal buildings.

You've got to do that. Oh, man. A plus eight, Simaja! Check out those metal buildings. You've got to do that. I am 100% A plus H, so much. No, I just really want to know who that sneaky person was. But I do think that we know that there are so many secret ways in and out of here. And we know a way out of here that leads directly into Karguk's tent.

And if we go and we think he might be sleeping, we could kill him in his sleep. We also know a way out of here that would take us right to closer to Droja. And if Umla's there, we can just kind of steal away. Yeah, that's never going to work. Lork would never kill him in his sleep, Karguk. He's a worshiper of Gorom.

If they were going to fight, they'd fight. It's real chaotic neutral of you. Can I see your sheet again? I want to make sure that's what your alignment is. No, that's not. It has nothing to do with that. It has to do with your deity. Wait, what did you say?

I said that I would not kill him in his sleep. I would fight him, man to man. He's a follower of Gorim. I think we should sneak out, not through Kark's tent. If we can, I think we should sneak out Not through Karg's tent If we can I think we should get out The way we initially snuck in Through the grate Through the middle buildings to the grate

It's just never going to happen So what's the other thing What's the other idea To me we just go back We just go back. We say, give us Drogia, give us Umlo, and we're leaving.

And they'll never agree to that. And then we'll just have to fight. What's your leverage in this situation? I'm helping you talk this out. You completed your task. You helped him now take over the fort right we don't have to tell we don't have to tell him what happened with the with fabian blix we can say we can we can engineer a situation since we we you know here's our here's our leverage like we have to just

destroy this bone or something whatever we have that's not obviously his and then the spirit will leave and he doesn't know what we've been doing in there i mean i agree with you i think we're gonna end up having to fight but yeah we're definitely gonna have to fight unless he actually lets us go but if he actually does let us go is he gonna i mean if he calls our bluff and actually lets us go and gives us Drogia for the fort, would we actually leave them in control of the fort? These orcs? It is very close to. I mean, we did deal with them.

I mean, I'm chaotic neutral, but you guys have more ethics than I do. I mean, we're in the middle of orc-held territory. They're not really going to... We're in the middle of their lands. Wouldn't be that shocking for them to hold this anyway we got rid of grenzel deck well it's it was what was once uh human land right but the humans i don't think you know lork doesn't think they could hold it they couldn't take it back i mean

we did sense motive on his desire his desire just to hold the fort and live you know yeah on his own so that's and he are we rolled pretty the the metagamer, we rolled pretty well and we believed him. Right. I still don't know if he would nonetheless turn against us. Oh, I still, I agree. I think he's going to turn against us. I still just, I want to check out the middle buildings. I mean, I don't see what the point.

Yeah, but why would, why would Ingrahild ever do that? Because we don't know where Ulmo is. We do. He's in Droj's tent. We know that right now? Well, whenever he's not fighting and there's no fighting happening. Do we know that he's there like after he's been healed? Like at all times if he's not fighting.

Karger also knows we want him. Right. Okay. Tell us what Ingrahild says about going exploring in the middle buildings. We want him. Right. Okay. Tell us what Ingerhild says about going exploring in the middle buildings. She's like, cool. Maybe he's there. Ingerhild does not have time to say anything.

Because in the midst with your discussion, in the midst of your discussion with each other, you hear from beyond the doors of the chapel. Oh, yeah. Have ork! See? I told you. This is awesome. Come out!

We mean you no harm! Definitely that. This is amazing. Okay, so... There's no other way out of the chapel, right? Not that you know of. We can't get up into the bell tower. And Ingerhild is with us.

You didn't have time to chit-chat because we heard that. I mean, you know that Ingerhild will not leave this place without Amalel. Right. Drogia is, you know, that's for the good character. That's for, you know, Galavras I'm sure has a feeling,

wants to save, but none of, you guys are all neutral so no one else cares about Droja except Galavras. Well she, I mean,

I think even though I'm neutral I still have an attachment because she gave me information about my parents. Right, I mean that's up to you guys if you want to save her or not

but I know Lork doesn't give a shit. Lork only cares about Lork. Della, reminds, Della reminds Lork that we have an orc bane arrow And I can cast true strike Or Glabris can cast true strike No that can only be done on the caster

The caster can only cast on themselves I can take the orc bane arrow and cast true strike on myself As an insurance policy That might get by us a little bit of Yeah if you hit the very first orc And just drop him as an insurance policy that might get by us a little bit of something. Yeah, if you hit the very first orc and just drop them in front of everyone else, if there's a bunch of them.

Or Karguk himself. Either way, they're going to be freaked out. And they'll be like, oh, what magic handbaggers. Havok, please do not stall or we will take it as a sign of aggression. All right.

Lork is going to go out. Della draws the Orkbane Arrow with her longbow. What? I'm going to come with you. Don't fire the Orkbane Arrow until Lork says. Okay. I think only Lork should go out, or else they're going to shoot at you. Yeah. Only Lork goes out. Until Lork says. Okay. I think only Lork should go out or else they're going to shoot at you. Yeah.

Only Lork goes out. Only Lork should go. But we'll be standing right there. Standing right there. Behind you. Yeah, we'll be at the door. Lork will open the door. So you open the door.

And walk out. And all of you guys are like right there at the door. Orcbane Arrow in my book. Lork walks out. You see both bodyguards, the orcs with giant blood in them, wielding, looks like great axes, that are as tall as Della. Behind them is General Kargik. He has one hand on a great sword,

and the other on his side. His arms are out like this. In front of him lies Amla. Covered in blood. You would assume he is dead. In front of one of the bodyguards is an orc holding Drogia by the hair. Oh, fuck. With a knife at her throat.

A falchion, rather, at her throat. Follower of Gorm. I mean you no harm. You have done me a great service in giving me back the fort. I apologize for this act of aggression, but as you can understand, we have to protect ourselves. You are clearly the leader of that group. It is you who gave me back my fort. And it is why I am coming to you with an offer. Join us.

Join us. join us join us let the orc part of your blood that clearly is at the surface it is your orc blood that was able to commit all of this death

to commit all of these murders to give me back my fort let that part of you rise to the surface. Join us. And together, we will take over all the lands around us. We will unite the tribes that Grenzeldek never could. And we will take back the world ourselves. Your mother or your father,

whoever was the orc that made you, would have wanted it that way. Come with us. We will let most of your friends go. But we will have to kill the rest. And I will need you to do it. To prove your allegiance to my tribe. But you will be my right hand man.

You will be my first lieutenant of this army. Join us, and your name will live on in infamy. In the halls of Gorum, they will speak of Kargak, and they will speak of Lork. How many orcs are there? You see the two bodyguards. And him, and that's it?

You see him. You see one orc with... has Drosha. You want to do a perception check? Yeah. Looking around. 27. You see two orcs up at the bell tower. You see a couple along the ramparts.

And you know that he has an army of at least three dozen. You offer me terms on a deal. But we already had a deal. We give you the fort and you give us Umlo and Drozha. Is he alive?

He may yet live. The deal was you get the fort, and we get Umlo and Drozha. You let us walk out of here, alive, and the fort is yours. No offense, young warrior, but I'll tell you what the deal is. You join us, and maybe some of your friends will live. You go against us, and I call my army of three dozen orcs to wipe you and your friends out completely. I don't mean to be a front, but you know the power of Gorham.

You know the power of war and strength that I preach. And hopefully a true follower of Gorim will appreciate such strong tone. You misunderstand me. I'm not trying to say that I'm concerned you're changing the deal.

I'm trying to say you should be concerned you're changing the deal. We were going to let you have the fort. If you want to change those terms, then we'll be taking the fort. There is no going back on this deal. And as a follower of Gorim, I think you would be more inclined to realize that you could not take the fort, and you could not defeat the giants, and you could not bring down Grenzeldek or the spirits

that haunted this place. And yet, my friends and I did, and that's because we're stronger. So take the fort, and we walk out of here alive or you die in this courtyard today, maybe tomorrow. Probably today. You're right. I have

changed the deal. And now I'm changing it again. You're out. If you want to take your chances with what, four, five, six of you against 40, be my guest. Tell the great god Gurom I said hello.

He grabs his great sword in two hands. Before he does anything else. Your men on these ramparts, your bodyguards here, they stand down and you and I fight one on one in the face of Gorom for this fort. You cannot best me. I will defeat you in front of your men and show you who will be running this army now. He takes his other hand off the hilt. Roll an intimidate check.

24. He looks around at the men. They're looking at him. The bodyguards turn back, look at Kargak. Stand aside. Gorm be with you. We'll see you next week. Oh, yes! Single combat!

That's going to be awesome. Oh, man. Outro Music