The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 79 - Ewigga, Please! Part 2 - Witches Be Crazy

Episode Date: November 29, 2016

An old nemesis returns to terrorize the party once again! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast... The Wigger is back! A hated foe returns to menace the party. The Wigger! By the power invested in me, by the city of True Now, and the divinity bestowed upon me by the grace of Torag, I sentence you to death. And old habits return as well. I trusted my die rolls. Though I shouldn't. Oh no.

But the heroes will hold nothing back. Come at me. Come at me. As they seek their revenge. We don't know your backstory, you dumb witch. The adventure continues now. Oh, you frightened me, sneaking up on me like that. Ha ha ha ha. I'm only kidding. I'm immune to fear. Good day to you, listener. My name is Sir Willemette Keswick.

I am the youngest son of Emmett Keswick, the Earl of Highbury, and I've been asked to tell you my backstory. It is long, quiet, and spectacularly uneventful. So, settle in. In order to tell it right, we must start with the birth of my great-great-grandfather. must start with the birth of my great-great-grandfather. Okay, that's enough of that. What's going on, everybody? It's me, Joe, and I'm here to say thank you, as always, for joining our little game. After Skid's inspiring performance at the start of last week's episode, I thought that I could do an adequate follow-up, but, well, that's just silly. Maybe one of these days, but today is not that day.

I've just got a couple quick things. A business announcement and then a little personal anecdote, a short one, I promise you, and then we're going to get you off that cliff where Troy so viciously left you hanging last week. The original GCP t-shirt sale is over. For those of you that bought t-shirts, you made a terrific choice. You've got yourself a first-generation original GCP t-shirt. That can only happen once. So we seriously appreciate your support. And hopefully, you'll all be receiving your t-shirts within the next two weeks or so.

And then, real quickly, I just want to tell you a quick personal story. So bear with me for a second. My office in Manhattan recently moved when my company merged with a couple other ones. As a result of the merger, the office is much bigger now, and it's just sort of a giant maze. When the IT guys came in to set up the network printers, they elected to name them after places in New York in order to make them more easily identifiable. There's Times Square, Battery Park, Hell's Kitchen, et cetera, et cetera. And there's literally about 40 of these printers throughout the office. So my IT guy comes into my office and he's like, I got to link your computer to the nearest printer. And I'm like,

all right, go ahead. And so he goes, okay, let's see. And he clicks through and he's like, you're going to be using Lexington. Can you believe that? At the time, I was like, cool. Thanks, man. And inside, I was like, I am Sir William Kiswick, son of Emmett, Earl of Highbury. And this is my trusted steed, Lexington. I try to imagine what the reaction would be to that, and I come up with nothing.

Though, being an IT guy, he probably has experience dealing with the most bizarre people and interactions, so he probably would have handled it in stride. Anyway, I thought you guys would appreciate that. And now we're going to return to the scene from last week's cliffhanger. Della embraces the woman she believes to be her mother. And from across the clearing, the rest of us see this creature's form slowly change into a familiar likeness. It's a wigger! Oh, just ridiculously insane. This is going to be a tough session.

So, to get us started, ladies and gentlemen, to begin the slaughter, I give you the one and only Troy LaVallee. I love a moment in a game where characters get surprised. That, to me, is one of the best things.

When I see on your faces, like, oh, my God. Then I feel like, okay, I'm doing something right for them to be so invested. I mean, the look on your face. I mean, Matthew was shaking when I said it's a fetchling. And to see that happen, to see you guys all like, looking at each other, mouth agape. Yeah, I could barely breathe. I was just like trying to keep quiet. But nothing makes me happier than when I get surprised in a joyful way,

like when Della said, she drops her scimitar and runs to hug her mom. I was like, grrrr! Yeah, I saw the faint little glimmer of orgasm in Troy's eyes when that happened. Oh my gosh. It's a bit like having your opponent across the table in a poker game to say, all in, while you're sitting on the nut flush. You're just like, I got him! But of course she would do that.

I mean, why would she run at her mom with a flaming scimitar? Exactly. And that, let me tell you something. She could have sheathed it. She could have just sheathed it. You could have spent the move action. Clearly, you have never been reunited with your mother after 17 years of not seeing her. Just an amazing moment.

I'm just saying, was she a double move away? That's all I'm asking. Iwiga has now done this twice. Fool me once, shame on me. At least I rolled the sense motive. At least I rolled the sense motive. And you know what, I rolled a four on the die. And so I was like, you know,

cause even if it was really your mom, I would still roll the die, cause it's always good to keep you guys guessing, but I don't want you to metagame like, oh, he's rolling a die, he must be an enemy. But I rolled the die, I rolled a four on the die, and I was like, uh, and then I looked over to Wigga's sheet,

plus 26 to bluff. Oh my goodness. Like, you're 100 sheet, plus 26 to bluff. Oh, my goodness. I'm like, you're 100% sure it's your mom. Oh, baby. Drops her scimitar, runs in. Now, Skid, I know that from the past, Iwiga is your favorite creature we've ever faced. I loved the first time so much. I'm so glad that we get to do the whole thing all over again.

That is the most heavily edited episode. You wig it, please. There were fist fights I had to cut out. I mean, so much. This combat is just ridiculous. How do you walk up these mounds? They're straight stacked stalactites. Oh, my God.

I really also want to compliment Matthew on his bravery because a few episodes ago, I tried to try on a pair of magical boots during a combat because I thought that would be the best way to do it. I know. I still love that image of you. Everyone is dying of poison around him. The creature is up. He's like, I'm going to try on this.

I'm going to run over and change my shoes. Della's coughing up blood. My dogs are killing me. Dogs are barking. I thought he was sitting on that little bench that they have in shoe shops. There's like a little angled mirror on the floor.

He whips a shoehorn out of his hat. He's like, ooh. Nestor, can you see if they have a size 11? How's that in the toe? do you have room in the toe stand up walk around oh my god I mean it's just so cool and honestly this is straight out of the

adventure path if Iwiga escapes she chases down the PCs and encounters them again maybe outside the tomb of Nargrim Steelhand when they come out of the tomb with the tomb of Nargrim Steelhand when they come out of the tomb with their allies, the Nargrimkins, in this case. So she was either in disguise in True Now

or camped outside of True Now. Because that was all before we were in True Now. Right. Well, she followed us back on the boats, I guess. All to self, man. She could have been at the council meeting. I think. She could have been one of the Catherine's, man. She could have been at the council meeting. She could have been one of the Catherine's Day to Joneses.

She could have been Tom Exposition. I knew you were going to say that. That's good. That's better. She could have placed some magical tracking beacon on Della while she was embedded in that tree all that time in the Vault of Thorns. She had every opportunity to do some weird scrying technique the same way Brander could look in on Galabras. Well, I said it on Cannon Fodder last week. When she escaped,

she has an ability known as Tree Shape. She turned into a tree in that Arboretum. When you guys exited, she was just a tree in the Arboretum. And then she followed us out. And then she followed you out. Wow. I knew we should have burned down the entire forest.

She followed us on the garbage dump. And now here we are. So, Matthew, I have to ask you. I mean, I'm sure you're always cautious of me because I'm evil. But there had to have been a party that really believed that this was it. This was Della's moment to reunite with her mom. Yeah, I was shaking because I was trying to remember the details of the backstory that I wrote. I was like, oh God.

While live on air. I searched my email real quick. What's her name? I don't even know her mom's name. No, I mean, I was with you. Actually, the moment I knew you were lying, even though Della didn't know, was when you said her father was alive. Yeah, and I did that on purpose because it's, you know, that should have given you a little

clue, but also the mist could be false. But it was enough just, it's just so fucking cool, because I could picture this scene. Grant, you said off the air, we'd love to have that scene with the Ettercaps and the Aspen leaves, that battle happening. You want to see this. You want to see Umlo helping Willamette into the armor

and Della just rushing as this beautiful woman's face is turning into a green hag and a mountain scape is coming out of her back as a hunchback. Can somebody draw this, please? We need to hire her. Willamette's standing in front of Lexington in his new armor. Hey, how do I look? Meanwhile, behind him, this is

unfolding. Maybe one of the greaves is still forming to his leg. Yeah. Or his arm, as the case may be. It's a very unique set of armor. Skin. It's ancient. So here we are. We are right

outside of the tomb. The pauldron shaping to his knee. Right outside the tomb of Nargrim Steelhand. The way I've placed you here, I had to redraw this map. I redrew the web just because I enjoy drawing webs. You have to the right of the entrance, Baron, Omlo, and Little Will.

And then sort of 15 feet away off in the distance is Nestor. And you told me, Skid, as we were going off the air, you would have done this anyways when you saw this woman come out, get ready to draw your bow. Yeah, when I saw her come out of the forest and see her, I was just like,

what the fuck is this? Yeah, Nestor has keen senses. Not every day you see a fetchling. Right. Like, he's just ready to go. Yeah. Like, I wasn't aiming at her, but I was just like, I was ready to do so. And then over here, we'll just draw the dropped scimitar.

What's that? 20 feet away from Della. And Reginald. And Reginald, yep. I'll draw Reginald. Can you sketch a horse for us real quick? There you go. That's very realist.

Very lifelike. Oh, wow. Look at that. Look at the muscle structure. I know, the musculature.? There you go. That's very realist. Very lifelike. Oh, wow. Look at the muscle structure. I know, the musculature. And the hind legs. It's really impressive. You've been working with those dry erase markers, haven't you? You really drew the genitals.

Expertly. Practice tan. You guys should check out Troy's rule 34 page on the glass cannon podcast is incredible so Della you are

you know what 30 40 feet away from the rest of the party yeah embracing this woman and in this moment you don't even know it's only when Baron and Willamette and Umla look over they see this woman. And in this moment, you don't even know. It's only when Baron and Willamette and Umla look over,

they see this woman's eyes dart open and the face just start to turn into a green hag. Nestor, roll a perception check. Okay. 26. Nestor, as you see this happening, and you train your bow on that, you hear in the leaves behind you,

Uh-oh. Shudun, shudun, shudun, shudun, shudun, shudun, shudun, shudun. And you hear another one coming off in the distance from where Adela and the woman is. They used to work with a giant. Remember the coven had a giant as their muscle? What? That's right, the marsh giant. Oh, yeah. But in this case, you guys killed the marsh giant. Remember the coven had a giant as their muscle? What? That's right, the marsh giant.

Oh, yeah. But in this case, you guys killed the marsh giant. It's a boar. So instead, two dire bears come rushing in. Dire bears? Oh, my God. Rover initiative. Oh, man.

Crap and crutches. That's the classer pincher move. Oh, Della. All right. class or pinch her. Adela. Alright. Who are my over 20s? 24, Adela. What's your initial bonus?

Plus 7. I'm 24 also. Okay, initial bonus? Plus 9. Ah, Nestor. Alright. Baron, what'd you get? 19.

Willamette and Humlo? 19. Willamette and Umlo? 17 for Willamette. Skid, why don't you play Umlo again this week? Because you really didn't get to stretch his legs that much. Ooh, where's his initial? Oh, 21. 21? Yeah.

All right, so that is higher than Baron. Before we get to round one, I think it's more than appropriate to have a surprise round. Let me just replace the pawn with the beautiful Asimur Cleric with a green hag. Oh, hag. The wigger is back!

No! This is not funny. I don't know why you're laughing, Iwiga. There's no comedy here. Surprise round. Iwiga, while embracing Della. And Della, maybe you feel that the hug's getting a little too tight. Will my hands grow around the hump?

Yeah, your hands start to extend. It's like one of those things where you see it in the mirror happening, like The Shining, when Jack Nicholson is holding the woman in the tub. Oh, with the, yeah. I just got chills. I hated that scene. That's so, so gross. She embraces you.

The embrace is getting tighter. Your hands are extending away from her, and you feel energy being sent into your body. Roll a fortitude save. Oh, boy. 22. Ooh! You pass. Damn it! Okay.

Round one. Nestor. Two dire bears. Iwiga and Della embracing. Um, shh. Okay. So, uh, when he hears the bear coming from behind him, he whips around and fires two shots from Ojota into it. Ojota.

Deadly aim and steady target as a swift action. 28 to hit. 28 hits. 21 points of damage Oh man Nester coin And second shot 21 to hit 20 damage

Uh Delanarn Mama ain't coming home. What are you going to do? I would say this is probably the most awful, awful thing you could do to Della.

Hey, you're the one that anointed yourself with demon's blood. Yep. You had it coming. Karma. I bet you Willem is like, sir, sir, right. You see, Della? You see what happens? It says on the warning on the back of the bottle of demon's blood, it says, warning may cause a fake reunion with your

mother and may be attacked by two dire bears. Seems like a really specific warning. Probably nothing. Throw caution to the wind. It's probably nothing. They have to cover themselves. It's just a lawsuit thing. There was one case in Des Moines.

Like 25 years ago. Question for you, mechanics-wise. Yes. I want to roll a touch attack, but I'm already touching her. How does that work? Right. I mean, for the purposes of the game, you just roll the touch attack. Okay.

Because I, yeah. Shocking grasp. Shocking. Well, it also provokes, right? Does it? Yeah. It's a touch attack. But you have to cast a spell.

I'll roll the cast defensively. Fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail. Made it. Damn it. All right. And touch attack. 19 against touch AC. That is a hit, my friend.

Oh, roll spell resistance. Almost forgot. That was close. Okay, so what do I add? My caster level? Yep, caster level to a d20. 21. You got it.

All right, 66. 28 points of damage. Oh, man. So points of damage. Oh, man. So she's still hugging her, and she's just like straight into her back. And she's still transforming. Like, her legs are transforming now. She's growing. She went from, like, six feet tall to five foot four.

She's hunched over. All right. And then as her move action, she's going to move away and provoke. Oh. Well, I'll roll acrobatics why not To move half speed Can you do that acrobatics That's not a standard action Nope

Natural 19 That's a Plus 13 so 32 And it's at CMD. It's just regular CMD. You got it. You settled it.

Yeah. Really good round for Della. Yeah, seriously. Well, she earned it, man. She deserves it. All right, walking back towards the Civitar. So she shocking grasps right into her and then just dodges and rolls back towards the Civitar.

That's sweet. That would look so cool. Oh, I want to see that happen. Somebody make a movie about this battle. Let me see here. Baron, what kind of armor are you wearing? Studded leather dwarven armor. Studded leather dwarven armor.

Okay. Ewig is turned. Shoots a wand in the direction of Willamette and Umlo. Sends some sort of spell at them. Both of you roll a Will save. A Willamette save. If you will. If you will.

If you will. 22. You're alright, Will. Alright. 19 for Umlo. You sure? Yeah. Unless it's a... No, because plus two versus spell is a dwarven thing,

so... What did I say? 21? 20? 19. So 21. 21. Damn it, you're both all right. All right. What was it? What did it look like?

I mean, is it like energy or is it fire? Like for a split second, your armor got a little bit warmer. Oh, God, that shit. Oh, God. All right, it is. And then she is going to just. Let me guess. She's going to stay there.

Well, no, it would make sense. She's going to move up to Della. Umlo's turn. All right, Umlo is... Where's Umlo? He is 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30 feet away. I think he only has 20 feet of movement. Yeah, he does.

That's correct. He's got the reach weapon, but he can double move to get within 10 feet. Oh, he's got the... Yeah, if he's going to get as close as he can, if he has to... He's 15 feet away. He can double move 40 feet. Right. So he can get right up on it.

But he wants to, with the spear, he wants to stay 10 feet away, right? He'll double move to get 10 feet away. Okay. Boom. I'm low. Gets up. Up in Iwiga's business. Heart spit leveled for next round.

Baron Berenson. Baron says, Iwiga! You deceitful, wretched, decrepit old hag. By the power invested in me, by the city of True Now, and the divinity bestowed upon me by the grace of Torag. Not necessarily in that order.

I sentence you to death. And he moves to be It's not funny. It's still not funny. He moves 20 feet towards her. And he How far away is he from her now? 25? About 20 feet away.

20 feet away. He will Now which pistol do you have in your hand? Let's use the honor system there. I have the double-barreled pistol. Double-barreled pistol. Okay. He's going to roll to attack.

All right. You have precise shot? I do. Okay. So I hope you miss and hit double. That is a 22 to hit against Touch AC. Nice. Touch AC, that is a hit.

Yes. 13 points of damage. This party is good. Sir Willamette Keswick. Sir Willamette's... Now, Sir Willamette, I have to tell you, in all fairness, you are not mounted right now. Oh, no, I know.

Yeah, so Sir Willamette is going to spring into action. He's going to immediately, I would assume, that he had, I would guess, you know, while he was changing his armor, he probably sets down his lance. His sword is in its sheath, but he sets down his lance. So I imagine him saying, Sheriff, you know this creature! Who is

she? And he's going to grab, reach down, grab his lance, mount Lexington, and then move out into the open. And that'll be his turn. Okay, so he just... So he's just like mounting, and then he's getting into position so that he can have a clear charge to

either bear or her. He doesn't have the ability this round to attack. Was that three move actions? Picking up the lance, mounting, and... Mounting is free. Mounting's free. Because I'm a badass. Picking up the lance is one move.

And I get Lexington's move. Okay, great. So you're... I thought that was fair. All right, yeah, that's good. It's time for the Chicago Bears. Oh, no. Jay Cutler coming on the field.

The bear that attacked Nestor Jay Cutler coming on the field. The bear that attacked Nestor charges at Nestor with a claw. Natural 20. Oh, man. Neon Green John. He's sitting very close to me.

You can see behind it. To confirm, 29 to confirm. Fuck off. Is it a named dire bear? It is. What's his name? His name is Barry. Yogi?

It's Barry. Barry Bird. Barry Bird. All right, so that's just double damage, right? Yeah, yeah. Max damage. Jesus Christ. 26 points of damage.

26 points of damage. I'm got bored by that and you don't get the plus 2 to the damage okay and we'll attempt to grab 29 to grab Nestor yep so it's just grabs Nestor God lost dire bear number two and just check out the movement speed oh yeah charges at Sir Willamette on Lexington and goes to claw Sir Willamette. Oh, natty 17. Oof. So that's going to be max damage. 13 points of damage and attempts to grab Willamette.

27 against CMD. to grab Willamette. 27 against CMD. Grabs Willamette. Oh, man! What, does he grab him off Lexington? I mean, I think he's grappled while you're on Lexington. 13 damage. Two sixes on the damage. I rolled max damage against Nestor,

max damage against Willamette. So now, cheapest one bear comes in, swipes at Nestor, max damage against Willamette. So now, cheapest one bear comes in, swipes at Nestor, grabs him, and really hits Nestor in like a vital area. And then the other one, Sir Will, did you even see that dire bear over there? Probably not. Oh yeah. Oh, it comes at you and just-

I was trying to get battlefield overall control, look at, be able to see everything. But I was wide out in the open. Round two. Nestor coin. Remind me how do I get out of a grapple again? You can do escape artist. Or CMB.

Or CMB, yeah. Yeah, alright. I'll try to get out with a CMB and no. Alright. D no. Alright. Della. Della's going to take a five foot step to be in the same square as her scimitar.

But even though you say Awiga came back and she has new powers, but Della has new powers too. She's going to draw her whip and cast true strike on herself. Oh yeah. Yeah, there we go.

She'll stay where she is. All right, 10 feet away, draws her whip. Cast True Strike. Cast True Strike. It is now Iwiga's turn, and what do I want to do? So many choices.

Oh, my God. The world is your oyster right now. I mean, she's cast... Oh, wait, no, no. That's true. Hand off the chess piece. I could have spell combo. Oh.

You moved... Five foot step. ...through the whip as part of the move action? Yeah, so you can't. Oh, okay. Because you cast true strike. No. The casting and the full round...

Oh, okay. Drawing five foot step and casting a spell Drawing is the move action It can be as part of you moving but if you don't move it's still the move action I have missed on every spell I've tried with her

I was really excited about some of these spells but sometimes it just doesn't work Okay She She goes invisible about some of these spells. But, you know, sometimes it just doesn't work. Okay, she goes invisible. That's what she does. Omlo. Skids Omlo. Well, fuck.

Is he within striking distance of that other bear? The one that's grappling Willamette, for sure. All right, he's going to move and... We can take a five-foot step, right? Can we get a five-foot step and get with him? I did ten. Yeah, so no, he can only do one attack. But that puts him within five. He doesn't need to be within ten, right?

No, that is within ten. Oh, that is? No. Yeah. Can I do two attacks? No, that is within 10. Oh, that is. No. Yeah. Can I do two attacks? No, you can only do one. Okay. All right.

Then he stabs at the bear with heart spit. You great furry creature. Go back to the forest. 21. 21 hits. 20. 20 hits. Okay.

And sorry, it's 2d6. This bear has yet to be... Yet. Five. Nine damage. Nine damage. Yep. Oh, man, if he crits on that bear... I know.

I'm hoping. Okay. Baron. Again, you know, Baron, as always, will will cast glitter dust in the gentle area to make her appear typical baron baron really doesn't know what to do he remembers that she can go invisible as like at will so she probably moved so i can't even like take a shot at her square so um he's going to um you look to the side and Nestor's completely wrapped up in a bear. You look to the other side, Willamette's totally wrapped up in a bear.

Stressful situation. Well, he knows Willamette... Shit. It's a really tough character choice because he doesn't know who he wants to help. He is going to have pity on the poor Nestor coin, even though he has not asked for forgiveness or any type of redemption for what he's done. And he's going to move

20 feet towards the bear. Cool. Alright, so Baron, seeing Nestor struggle in the arms of this great beast, begins moving towards that. And he's going to fire its

5, 10, 15, 25 feet away or 20 feet away? I think you know it's 25 feet. Alright, so I'm going to 5, 10, 15, 25. I'm going to take my penalty outside of my first range increment,

and I'm going to target against the bear's regular AC. Hope you don't miss. Me too. For fuck's sake. I am all up in this thing. No, he's shooting at me. Oh, okay. I was going to say, to be fair, he is a much bigger target than me.

Come on. The 21 to hit. That hits. Nice. And that is 12. I'm sorry. Nine points of damage. Nine points of damage.

This bear, you know, thankfully, Nestor got those first two shots in. Now you've done significant damage and you're chipping away. But Nestor and Willamette are in bad shape. Speaking of Willamette, Willamette. I can't think of anything else. He's going to release the lance and attempt to break the grapple. Like, I don't know what else he can do. You can attack in minus two.

No, I have to have a light weapon. He doesn't carry light weapons. He's a knight. Oh, I have his longsword. so he's going to try to break free. Okay. So here we go. Huge CMB for Willamette. Natural two. Oh, no.

Son of a B. No. Just going to roll. Just going to roll. Get ready for that two. Woo! Damn. Silver roll, get ready for that two! Get ready for that one! Damn!

I've never been in this situation before, so I don't know what to do. Does Lexington stay under me? I'm going to hold him there, I guess. The bear is focused on me, so I don't think Lexington's in immediate danger. Is there a combat maneuver for the bear to attempt to dismount you?

He could try to move me. Yeah, that's one of the things you can do. If I maintain the grapple, I can move myself and the grappled creature up to X amount. Half your speed, I think. Just rips this halfling out of the saddle. Yeah, if I maintain the grapple, I can either inflict damage or move them. Bear number one on Nestor goes to maintain the grapple. Add a plus five to its CMB.

Fracti. I don't know. 22. If I wasn't drained, if my strength wasn't drained, I would have been able to break it. No! Yeah, that gets me. That baleful gaze.

Yeah. Ten points of damage. It's just... Just wrenching the claw into Nestor's skin. You guys just see this happen. I'm in bad shape. I'm in very bad shape. This fucking...

This fucking hag, she always... Not only does she just suck, generally, but she always gets us at the worst possible time yes you know oh my god if you guys hadn't rested just come out like we'll just go to the nearest town and get restoration magic yeah tbk yeah yeah not that that's not going to happen right right yeah at least it would have been it'll still happen it's not guaranteed okay so what is bear number two gonna do?

Well, obviously, he's gonna attempt to maintain the grapple and rip Willamette off of Lexington. Oh, man! Oh, Natty17 just maintains, doesn't do damage, just rips Willamette off of Lexington. Oh my god. So now Lexington is on the board as his own piece. That is cool.

Shades of lore. Let me just maintain the grapple. Put you in a catapult. So now his legs are kicking in the air. And the bear's got him in his claws. He's going to say, Lexington, run! Round three, Nestor Coyne. All right. And critically wounded by the dire bear.

So he's going to drop on Jota. And with quick draw, he's going to take out his short sword. Stab it twice. So what is it? Minus two to attack as you're grappled? Yep. 23 to hit. That is a hit.

I can just picture this. Like what's your name? I don't think you can do a full attack. Can I? Why not? I think one of the actions you can do as a standard action is try to attack with a light weapon. Oh, well, eight damage. Okay, eight damage.

I mean, if Baron saves you, you guys could do enough damage if it doesn't kill Nestor in the process Delanine your mom is gone well she was never here and he wiggers invisible your fake mom is gone so Del doesn't want to waste the effects

of this this true strike spell right so she's gonna step up and try to and roll to whip the bear holding Willamette

and try to trip the bear with true strike she's gonna she's gonna tame that bear alright so that roll to whip the bear holding Willamette and try to trip the bear with a two strike. She's going to tame that bear. Alright, so what do you get? 10 foot reach on that? 15. 1, 2, 3. Plenty of room. And you also take the bear gets like a plus 6 bonus or

plus 8 bonus or something because it has four legs. Now is it being... It's standing right now. Is it standing-ish and holding Willamette in two claws? Or is it like have it in his mouth? Now, is it being... It's standing right now. Is it standing-ish and holding Willamette in two claws? Or does he have it in his mouth? Right, in his mouth. I picture it like it clawed you off to the ground. Okay.

Yeah, you know what I mean? So he's on all fours right now. Yeah. That's a really hard trip check. Yeah. Alright. Plus 20. Hold it. So it's a 32. 32. I'm so disappointed. Well, that... So it's a 32. 32. I'm so disappointed. So I get a...

That was a natural four. Oh. Still. So what do I get? I get a bonus because of my extra legs? It should already be baked into your character. Yes, you do. Oh, God.

It should give you a special thing that says... Oh, just plus two. That's it. Plus two to the DC if the creature has more than two legs. Oh, no. Plus two for each additional leg. So it's plus four. It's plus four, and you've got a 32.

So it's plus four to its CMD. Yeah. You trip it. Yeah! You trip the dire bear. Yeah. All right, so. So what happens is the grapple.

The grapple is maintained, and now they're both on the ground. But yeah, the bear is down. Bear down! Bear down! This is insane! So Del just runs over with a whip and just like, whoosh, and yanks a leg out from under it. I love this. They have their little religious differences at this moment,

but helping each other out. Working together. Each other. She's just helping Willamette. Alright, Ewig's turn. Still don't see her. Umlo. Umlo is gonna stab twice at the

bear. And it's minus four to the bear's AC. Because I'm prone? Yeah. And grappled. And you have the grappled condition too, right? Yeah, so it's minus four to dex. Let's go with my little friend, you ursine menace. I love how Elmo's gotten progressively Scottish

as this episode has gone on. Sean Connery. Yeah, a little known fact. All skids dwarves are Scottish. They are. 20 to hit. 20 hits. I'm grappled and prone.

And 12 damage. Beautiful. St 12 damage. Beautiful. Stomp again. I said let him go. 16. 16 to hit. It hits now because he's on the ground. Nice.

15 damage. Nice. Just shabbing at this thing. Just putting down a rabid animal. With a steel hand. Let's go of my knight! Okay. It is now Baron's turn. Baron takes a five foot step in and he quickly

takes three shots at the bear as he lives through them all. Oh yeah. His bear is so dead. I like this relationship between Baron through them all. This bear is so dead. I like this relationship between Baron and Nestor. Baron is a man of law and order, but once Nestor was released, he trusts Nestor. He's with Nestor. He knows what Nestor's deal is. But you're there to protect Nestor. I like this.

Nestor's on the team. Fire when ready. They're far too trusting. They're far too trusting. Dantooine is too remote to make an effective demonstration, but don't worry. We'll deal with your rebel friends soon. 14 against Touch AC.

14 hits. You know what else I was just thinking is, I'm going to roll Fighting Bears. Oh, yeah, no kidding. He knows your weak spots. Yeah, but he's just like, Bears! I hate bears!

I hate bears so much. First shot is 13 damage. Do you think he would drop the spear to go with the mithril skillet for old time's sake? Where's my cookware? I'm sure he's feeling nostalgic. I think that's what's driving him. Second one hits. Ooh, minimum damage.

10 points of damage. Pretty good min. Last one is going to be up close and deadly. Yeah, there we go. That is a... Ooh, this is interesting. A ten against Touch AC. It hits.

Yeah. Ten is its Touch AC. I knew I should have got total defense. Okay, so that is... touch, AC. I knew I should have got total defense. Okay, so that is... That's great. 24 points of damage. Baron kills the bear. Right through the head.

Nicely done. He just steps up. Kills it. Nestor is released from the grapple. Willamette, you are down on the ground now. The bear's been tripped by Della. What do you do? I'm going to, once again, attempt to break the grapple.

Okay. I trust in my die rolls, though I shouldn't fail. Natural four. Well, yeah, no, that's not going to do it. Just rambling around on the ground with this thing. And it is the bear's turn. Now the bear's in a weird position. It's prone, it's got its prey, it's here for a meal, but it's obviously under some control, perhaps, of Iwiga.

Just got stabbed twice with a spear, too. Just got stabbed twice with a spear, so I think it's gonna want to stand up. Release the grapple and stand up. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Damn it, it's gotta release the grapple. Damn up. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Damn it. It's got to release the grapple. Damn it, Joe. Yes! It releases the grapple! I should have held my axe up.

Alright, it releases the grapple and stands up, which will provoke from Lexington. And you on the ground. I have no weapon, so okay. And Umlaut. And Umlaut. Oh yeah, and Umla. Umla is threatening it.

For sure, man. Okay, so Lexington is going to bite at it. And that is a 19 to hit. Let me just fix my... Because I'm no longer prone. And 19 hits. Six points of damage with a bite. Lexington's first attack.

Right? Lexington's first attack. Right? Lexington's first ever attack, yeah. I don't like to use... I can use his bite attack in combat because of cavalier abilities, but I don't want to use it yet. I wanted to just kind of ride him and not put him at risk to be a target.

But in this case, he's, I think, just acting on his own. Right, but now that means Lexington could be in danger of the next claw attack. Right. But in this case, he's, I think, just acting on his own. Right. But now that means Lexington could be in danger of the next flaw attack. Right. Okay. Sir Will, do you want to punch him? Yeah, I'll punch him.

Miss. Okay. Umlo gets an attack as well. 28 to hit. Yep. 11 damage. Oh, man. You guys have 5 party members now

okay the bear is standing that's all he can do release the grapple as a free action move action stand up he can do one attack and he is going to bite Lexington that was just wrong

and a monkey flew through the sand that wasn't a bear he goes to bite Lexington natty 19 Let me roll that. What the fuck was that? That was just wrong. And a monkey flew through the sand. That wasn't a bear. All right, he goes to bite Lexington, natty 19. Oh, come on. Oh, the Lexington. You wanna bite me? This is what's gonna happen.

I mean, it makes sense. If you don't wanna use Lexington as a creature that's gonna do attacks, he's not gonna be the sort of object of a creature's attacks. But Lexington bit him, animal versus animal. 11 points of damage. And oh, Lexington. Is he still alive?

He is. I'll kill that wolf yet. Round four. Nesticoi. Newly released. Baron just keeps releasing you from things. Prison, bear's claws. He's bleeding.

He's like, gets up and he's just like, he's a mob and he's a toy. And he grabs his bow. And so I don't know, like I have quick draw, but I don't know if this affects like me being able to like grab my bow and take a full attack.

No, it doesn't. Okay. Quick draw is when you pick it up. But yeah, you get the definitely one attack. I'll take one shot at the bear. I'm going to do a study target. And deadly aim. Fuck, miss. Oh, wait. I'm gonna do a study targets and deadly aim Miss oh wait

No 16 that's missed now because it was prone in grab wait wait wait Yeah, no, sorry yeah 16 roll a d100 oh no Can't tell you what to hate this fuck. This is all right. Yeah, 16. Roll a D100. Oh, no. Can't tell you how much I hate this fucking rule. This is... All right, yeah. Fuck your rule. What did you roll? 90-something.

Okay. Okay. All right. I was seriously worried about Lexington. I was worried about myself. I really do hate that rule. I want to go on record again as saying how much that rule is terrible

and a detriment to the game and the broadcast. It does make a... And my general well-being and state of mind. Skip and I were talking about it in the car ride over, and it does kind of make us look like half superheroes, half bungling assholes. It makes us, we're the three stooges

of fucking archery. I call Mo. It's a 10% chance. I mean, it's very hard to hit your ally. It's the fact that it kept happening that last time. I know, I know.

Like, it happened three times or twice? At least twice. Twice. You hit Della and you hit Will. By the way, I don't know if I told you

this, Skid, but Della has kept Nestor's arrow. She didn't return it. Oh, right, yeah. I did. I made a note on my arrow lab. I have 49 arrows. She'll give it back

in the right way. The percentage is very low. Obviously, that was just bad luck. But you've got to think of story-wise, him hitting Della, their relationship is already rocky. It's fun. It's going to happen once in a while. It's amazing. It's awesome. I just want to see when Baron hits somebody with a bullet. Then it's going to be really intense.

Della really needs to turn that arrow into one of those headbands that looks like you've been shot through the head with an arrow. Steve Martin. Okay. It is Della's turn. Della's going to run back over to the scimitar. As part of the move action, drop the whip and pick up the scimitar. Okay.

Light it on fire. Swift. And magic missile the bear. Did you do two move actions? You said I could pick up the weapon as part of a move action. Yeah, but the weapon's on the ground. No.

Who said that? You did. I did? Yeah. No, it's a move action. No, you can draw a weapon as part of a move action. You drew the whip as part of a move action. Okay, so she'll sheath the whip,

can I sheath the whip then, or is that its own move action? That's a move action. Drop the whip, pick up the scimitar. Okay, so Del is sheath the whip. Can I sheath the whip then, or is that its own move action? That's a move action. Drop the whip, pick up the symptom. Okay. So Del is like, give me my weapon. And instead of lighting it on fire, she'll spend the keen point to make it shocking and keen.

The keen point. The keen point. The arcane point. Arcane point. All of a sudden. Oh, no. Where is she? Iwiga, ten feet away from you.

And the reason she appears is because she has her hands to the sky laughing maniacally as she's calling down a storm of lightning into her hand and she just goes and a bolt of lightning shoots a straight line, hits Della, Baron, and Nestor.

All of your roll reflex saves. Oh, shit. I have energy resistance against electricity. What does that give me? It's DR against damage. It's DR against the other type of damage. 11. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. 31.

28. Fuck off, you green witch. All right. Della failed. Let's look at the damage. It's going to be half damage for Nestor and Baron. It makes sense. They're a little farther away, and it hit Della

and kind of got weak as it got towards the back. Two sixes. 12, 13, 14 points of damage to Della. Minus got weak as it got towards the back. Two sixes. Twelve, thirteen, fourteen points of damage to Della. Minus five. Minus five. Seven to Baron and Ness. It just leaves a black streak all across

the ground. You see the aspen leaves just part up in the air as the lightning bolt shoots across. She cast this at the dragonfly. Yes. Remember? Yes, call lightning. I thought it at the dragonfly. Yes. Remember? Yes, call lightning. I thought it was just like a little shocking. It was like a D4 or something.

Yeah, she does one thing that's like call lightning. No, call lightning is the spell. She has another thing that's just, that's why she was using her weak stuff. Like, I don't have my powers. They don't suspect me at all. Remember, we were so bad. We were like, she's useless.

God, she's terrible. I'm sorry, guys. She doesn't remember her powers. Umlo. Alright, Umlo. He looks at the bear. And so the bear has Willamette? No. Willamette's released. Alright, so he looks at it. He looks it in the

eye, remembering his time in the arena at the fort. He looks at the glowers he says it it's time to bear down 26 to hit 26 hits 12 damage okay and again 21 to hits. 10 damage. Alright, so I'm going to just The bear is in bad shape. Alright, bear it. I hate

a wigga so much. She's all the way on the other side of the map. I have 20 foot range. I can't get to her so I am going to move within 20 feet of the bear and fire a mighty blow at its broadside. And he shoots.

That is a 16 against touch, so that is a hit for 17 points of damage. That's on the bear? Correct. Yep. So Baron steps up, fires. The bear is teetering, teetering!

Oh my god, this thing. And it is Willamette's turn. So Willamette. Willamette is going to say, Lexington, run! And he's going to, from the ground, reach into his sheath, shing! Draw out his long sword, stand up,

and provoke from the bear. All right, the bear goes to claw Willamette on the provoke. You've got a pretty good AC. Let me ask you, does a 21 hit? Miss. Off of Usgroth's armor.

I should have used the claw! Off of Usgroth's armor. And then Lexington is going to withdraw. Okay. Will that provoke? Oh, it doesn't have combat reflexes. Okay, good.

What was the withdrawal anyway? And just for good measure, I'm going to roll a handle animal on that 20. So I got it. Beautiful.

It is the bear's turn and the bear will claw claw bite on Willamette. First, the bite. 27. Ugh, for fuck's sake. God, man.

Jeez. 14 points of damage on the bite. Claw number one. Natty 19! Oh shit. Natty 19, 10 points of damage. It will attempt the grab, and then if it succeeds on the grab, it's going to claw again

at a minus 2. 22 to grab. Grab. Grabbed it. And now, final claw, 22. That's a miss. Whatever. Yeah, I looked this up. I didn't realize.

You can grab. On anything that gives you a free grab for a creature, you can grab and still continue your full round action, but you have the grapple condition, so it's a minus two to attack. But next round, if I try to maintain the grapple, if I maintain the grapple, all I can do is deal damage, move you, or release. Got it.

All right, round five! Oh man. This is gonna be another 20 rounder. Iwika took some hits early on. She missed a couple of key, big spells. Yeah. Call lightning hit, but didn't do a lot of damage. What you gonna do when that bear is almost ready to fall? Nestor coin.

Alright, I'm going... I'm gonna take a five foot step to... Yeah, thanks. I'm gonna take a five foot step to Yeah. Yeah, thanks. I'm going to take a five foot step to his left just so next round he's in a little better position to hit a wigger and he's going to fire at the bear

with deadly aim and study target. So scared. 22. Hits. All right. Right over Barrett's head. so scared uh 22 hits alright right over baron's head ah fuck 11 damage kills the other bear

oh yes you might say he slays it get out of here he keeps angling for more bottle caps yeah angling I'm just angling to say things that are bottle cap words. Clever and funny.

That's a noble goal. Della, you're up. Speak with your sword. Challenge accepted. Della's going to step up next to Uyghur and roll with the scimitar. All right.

Critical threat. Whoa. It was gained. What'd you roll on the die? 16 on the die. So that's a 24 to hit. 24, yep. That's a roll to confirm.

20. Not confirmed. Maxed it. Well, it wasn't an added 20, so yeah. Okay. So it's a hit. So that is... Minimum damage.

Six damage. Oh, no. Della, you're emotionally... There's a lot going on in your head. Two ones. It makes sense. Two ones. All right.

Is that all you can do? Move in a standard action. Yep, all right. Yeah, because you had to move more than five feet. So you move, come up, hit, you felt like you really got her and like that heart didn't critically... Did you drop your whip?

I dropped it when I picked up the scimitar. Oh, okay. Alright. Do we want to cast a spell with Iwiga? Do we want to... I didn't take my second attack. I'm a fucking idiot. Oh shit, yeah, I thought that was it second attack. Claw attacks. You fucking idiot. Oh, shit.

Yeah, I thought that was it with the bear. Yeah, I'm an idiot. Bella says, come at me. Come at me. Or you're going to run away again like a coward. Let's do this. Two claw attacks. First attack.

34. Yep. A couple things. I remember this from 20 whatever episodes ago. She just can do everything. She can do everything well. Better than everyone. 12 points of damage.

Roll a fortitude save. Yeah, it would be so fun to look at a character sheet where every number is... Natural 19. You son of a gun! On attack number two! Natty 19 almost. Grant! That is going to be only eight points of damage.

And it was 12 the first time? Yes. Roll another fortitude save. Miss, miss, miss, miss, miss. 14. Yeah! I just want one of my spells to hit. What a jerk.

I just wanted to keep her visible so Nestor could shoot her. Right, right. She hits you with this claw, and you remember this feeling because it happened so long ago in the Vault of Thorns. And you just feel weak from the claw hit, and you lose four points of strength. Four points of strength. Four points of strength damage.

Wow. Damage? Not damage, not drain. Yeah, four points. Oh, boy. Oh, man. All of this ability damage in this so far. I hate her so much.

I did. I hate her. I was worried Skid would not like this combat at all I don't I'm low take her out I'm low all right I'm low he I guess he's gonna like turn and like see you again sister you I don't know who you are but let my friend be and he charges however far he can 40 feet get close with the nerve yeah yeah yeah you get there you move faster right when you yeah double your speed yep okay so she just he just tries to run it through one up oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um uh 23 it's plus two to the attack. Yeah, 23 to hit. That is a hit. Nice.

Beautiful. Ten damage. Okay. Okay. All right. Barrett. Well, guys, they said after last week's episode they wanted a little more combat, so let's give it to them.

I turn to Sir Will and I say, Will, I'm glad you're back on your feet. This lady's a nasty customer. We gotta stop her before she gets us all. I love that. This lady's a nasty customer. And then he nods at him, and then he moves 40 feet towards her

so that he can be within up close and deadly range. Cool. All right, so Baron getting himself into position. He's got a firearm. He's got to be very careful. And those bullets are expensive. Sir. Will you told Lexington to leave?

Lexington is gone. He's in the next county. You need a new mount. No, he's not. So now he'll call Lexington back. Lexington will come back to him. He will,

he will mount. Swift mount. Yep. Swift mount. And then he will move up Just a little bit About 10 feet or so Do you have to roll to mount him for your ride check? That's a free action right?

Yeah I mean it's a free action to mount I can I mean I think quick mount Just keep me honest Yeah I think quick mount is something that you do Fast mount Oh that you do fast mount. Oh!

Okay, I'm sorry. I screwed up before. It's only a free action if you pass the check. The ride check. It's a move action otherwise. My apologies for that. What's the DC of the ride? It is 20. DC 20. Christ. What's your DC of the ride? Check. It is 20. DC 20.

Oh, wow. Christ. Okay. What's your ride score? Plus 10. So, he comes up, Natty 18. Yeah. He mounts him for free, and Lexington will continue moving.

Basically, I'm just going to get within 30 feet of Della. And I'm going to say, Lexingtonington she's a nasty customer we must help our allies and he's going to channel positive energy leaving a wig out of it oh you rolled 2d6 correct yeah? Yeah. Three. Three points of healing. Oh, man. Craps. You crapped out, Willamette. Snake eyes. I've only done two channels with Willamette so far,

and both, I believe, were three. He's got to learn. He's got to learn. You want to borrow my gold-plated Roman dice? Actually, yes. I'll fetch them. They need a home. You don't want to ruin that pair of dice.

No. Don't let Joe touch them. I think the gold plating will protect them from his influence. You're going to see they're really nickel underneath there as soon as he rubs off all the gold with his rolls. Yeah, yeah. Round six. The bears are dead. It's just Iwiga left. You've been thinking about it.

She had to be in the back of your heads at some point. The one that got away. Nestor coin. All right. I'm going to do another five foot step in the same direction I did last time. I got the study target. Got the deadly eye, man. You actually can't see her from there

because of the temple on the way, can you? No, this is all webbing. He's got a good shot. Who the fuck is this, bro? Twenty-two. That's a hit. There we go. He's like, who the fuck is this broad? 22. That's a hit. There we go. Jealous Matthew's like, don't miss, don't miss, don't miss.

19 damage. 19 damage. And he will fire again. Miss. So with study target, it's only a bonus to like uh hidden damage you don't gain any more like weakness insights about them or anything no but i get like a plus on sense motives i get the same bonus on sense motives uh perception like it's like uh like a ranger's favorite enemy yeah yeah let's get i i hate to do this i know you're just going to be very upset. I need you to roll a D100.

Oh, fuck. Yep. I got it. Del, it just goes inches past your head. By the way, I'm never going to roll a D100. This is my silent protest that I'm talking about loudly right now. I'm never going to roll a D100 unless Troy asks me to do it. That's fair.

I'll just start rolling them right here. Yeah, that's fine. I'm never going to roll a d100 unless Troy asks me to do it. That's fair. I'll just start rolling them right here. Yeah, that's fine. I'm just not doing it myself. All right, it's going to be Della's turn. She's going to roll to cast defensively. Natural 17, got it. Okay. Frigid touch.

Frigid touch. Spell combat, spell strike. You ice cold, Della. So this is the attack Okay. Frigid touch. Frigid touch. Spell combat. Spell strike. You ice cold, Ella. So this is the attack to deliver the frigid touch. Okay. That's going to be a miss. 12. 12 against regular AC. Against regular AC.

Miss. Okay. Now this is her actual attack. Okay. With the scimitar still charged. Critical threat. Get her done. 21 to confirm.

Not confirmed. Oh, no. But it still hits, so you take... Gonna roll spell resistance. Okay. Ooh, 14. The spell does no damage. Oh, no.

Did not pass spell resistance, but you still hit with the scimitar, right? So you do the physical damage. And the shocking damage. 10 damage. Well, the shocking is a spell. One that's in the blade. So 10 damage all together on a Wicca.

Die! You've seen a Wicca before. You've never seen her this hurt. This could be it. It is Wicca's turn. She She's gonna take a five foot step away Five foot step this way? Yeah, to give the other guys a clear shot Iwiga just looks at you It's like faltering on her legs

She's losing her footing a little bit She's like, no, you're my daughter My daughter, my daughter You are my daughter Come to me. And she casts a wind wall between you and everybody else. Oh. Oh, my God.

Holy shit. My daughter, come home to me. Umlo. Umlo shouts, we don't know your backstory, you dumb witch. And he stabs. Possible fumble. Uh-oh.

21 to hit. Can you stab through a wind wall? Yeah. Who fucking knows? Let me just look. I wonder what a wind wall does it prevent I think prevents project arrows and arrows fly up with a normal ranged weapon passing through the wall has a 30% miss chance well missed anyway so okay but not a fumble okay all right I'm asking you was it it was a 21 to hit. 21 to hit. Confirm. Umlo fumbles. Oh, no.

Umlo sticks. Heart's spitting into the wind. Ah! Okay, let me see. Melee. Too much stuff. Oh, I've seen this before. You become entangled in your gear until you spend a standard action to free yourself.

He's wearing new armor. He's got a new weapon. He's got a steel hand. Of course he's entangled. Baron. He's got a new weapon. He's got a steel hand. Of course he's entangled.

Baron. Baron's going to look at Umlo. And he's going to say, I'll see you on the other side. And he steps directly into the wind wall to stand there if he can. Can he do that and just be right in the middle and have the wind kicking him up? I think you can walk through it. Yeah, you can. Can I stand right on it, though? I want to be right in the middle, just so my gun is pointed out. Your duster is like

straight up in the air. And I'm gonna say... So wait, you're getting right up next to her? Yeah. So like... So I can shoot her? I mean, that's the easiest way. I'm gonna take three shots at her. You're gonna provoke. I'm gonna provoke each time. I'm a gunslinger. This is a daring act. This is officially a's the easiest way. I'm going to take three shots at her. You're going to provoke. I'm going to provoke each time. I'm a gunslinger.

This is a daring act. This is officially a daring deed. Nice. All right. Attack number one. Up close and deadly. Nice. That is a 27 against Touch AC.

Is it a hit? Let's not do the math on those. Let her provoke here. And she... 21 to hit. That is a hit. She hits you for 7 points of damage. Roll a Fortitude save. I passed the Fortitude save.

It would have been 7 points of strength damage. Oh my god. And for my damage to her. Nice. 19 points of damage. She's sitting there like barely standing, blood pouring out of her. And you see in her eyes, Della,

she doesn't know who you are. She's caught up in her own backstory. She's caught up in the backstory that she was portraying as your mother. My baby, my child! And all of a sudden you see out of the corner of your eye Baron steps into the wind. His hat flies off a mile away.

Just Jester flies up in the air and he just, ah! Boom! And kills Ewing. Oh man! She goes and shoots her right in the head. Oh man. And for a moment Della you feel unfathomably sad

as you see her brains just explode out the back of her head oh once Della heard that that changed her whole perspective it got around to her she was gonna do something

she wasn't gonna attack her oh wow Baron places his hand on Della's shoulder reaches up kinda high the wind slowly comes down and says have you seen my hat?

No, he says... He says, Della, justice has been served. Della says, I fear not for all. That's a rough one to come back from.

I fear not as well well but we gotta keep moving what do you want to do with her body search it search it search it so Ewig is laying there blood pouring out of her head you start rifling through her possessions you find a

rod which you know she has cast spells from. You find a wand. A ring that's emanating magic. Armor that's emanating magic. And something that none of you would know about. You find a pair of faded leather baby shoes oh fuck me and a wooden toy rattle oh there's literally like nothing we could roll to like deduce that with the story of that all right so this that's the tragedy of

a wig oh yeah that's the tragedy well you all, right? So that's just the tragedy of Oiga. Yeah, that's the tragedy. Well, you would probably get. No, of course. Well, when she was calling me my daughter. Yeah, I mean, you'd see in her eyes, and you'd be able to put the pieces together easily. Yeah, you could see that this woman, and you would know from your bardic knowledge

that hags don't just, they're not just born hags. Like something happened to this woman to turn her into a hag, and maybe she thought you were her daughter. Maybe her daughter was taken from her. A baby's rattle and a pair of faded leather shoes. Della drops down and cradles Uyghur's dead body. It's very sad.

And spellcrafts the stuff. I knew that was going to happen. So Nestor is bleeding bleeding and like kind of like staggers like up and it's just like sorry if you're done comforting the dead witch could somebody please kill my injuries so it's like right over here Nestor

I got you and just like pushes her right past and whips out the demon's blood and just like sticks it straight on your forehead here's your cure touch attack you get 10 points and whips out the demon's blood and just sticks it straight on your forehead. Here's your cure. Touch attack, touch attack. You get 10 points, Barry. Oh, thank you.

Infernal healing. I see that blood drop right down Nestor's nose. These infernal uses are not necessary. Yeah, you don't make any friends with Willamette using demon's blood. I know. I will heal you. I'll show you the power of good. It's been so successful.

Ten points of heal. All right. Very interesting. On a channel? Was that channel? Lay on hands. Okay, nice. Joe, that was the power of great.

There you go. We're having fun. Spellcraft? Spellcraft. 22. Plus one. Leather armor. Ring of protection plus one leather armor ring of protection plus one

nice not a bad haul I'll wear that leather armor if no one else wants it sure plus one leather armor yeah that's probably better than what you have and then roll another one on the rod and the wand 26

oh yeah that'll do. It is a wand of Summon Nature's Ally 3 with two charges left. Not a great haul. You know what? That is exactly the same as the Dwarven studded leather armor I have, so we can sell that. Oh, nice. And the rod

is a rod of Extend Mad Magic Lesser. So that's what she used to cast heat metal on Galabras so you can use it on any spell that you have and add the extend metamagic fee I believe so it would jump up a spell Wow holy shit you got to be able to I think you need the dogs you need this spell on your on your casting list and sure You know what that would be great for? Infernal healing.

Oh, yeah. Two minutes, you get 20 points of healing. That's great. That's a good call. Yeah, man. But you know, he's not going to use that. I'm just going to write to my left. Yep, not me. Won't be necessary. But yeah, a rod of extent but a magic lesser.

Because I remember back in the Uriga fight Skid was so furious he was like what is this just go on forever 13 rounds 13 rounds that might as well be forever I remember like listening back and I was just like I should have grappled her

with the burning armor like I should have just given a big bear hug and said, turn it off! Turn it off! That would have been amazing. Yeah. I was really hoping she could have laid out

some more fun stuff on you guys. It's not the biggest tragedy as far as I'm concerned. I'm fine with it. The thing she was going to do to Della on that first attack was going to be

so horrifyingly bad. What was it? Pull back the curtain. I might use it on another enemy sometime. So start the fear now. Right. Well, it was gonna be, I'll just tell you,

it was a fungal infestation. Gross. You coat the target in necrotic fungus that makes its flesh soft and fragile. Toadstools, ringworm, and other disgusting fungal growths sprout from its skin. You think Shailen is gonna find Della so beautiful if she's got ringworm?

The target takes 1d3 points of charisma damage, and any physical attack against the target, you take another 1d6 points of bleed every time you're hit by a physical attack. Because as it's hitting you, it's hitting the fungus, and the fungus is just... And you take bleed damage every time you're attacked. Is that a spell? What is that? It's a third level uh druid spell oh cool and then of course now she can heat metal for two people so she was going to try to oh willamette and umlo alive oh my goodness didn't work out yeah i'm sorry uh next time i feel bad for you yeah. So you guys, you finish this encounter. It's an emotional moment, obviously.

You thought you were just, all right, fine, let me finish the tomb. We're safe. Della, I mean, this has to be a lot for you. Oh, yeah. To have it just like that momentary, ah, and then have it immediately pulled out under your feet. And then to flip back again to find the sympathy for her and that she was clearly deranged and hallucinatory. So sad. Do you keep the rattle in the shoes?

Yeah. So you guys. It's just so it's just not only is it sad it's just like it's so pathetic that it's just unfathomably depressing. And you know I I mean, that she was not the path she chose for herself.

Yeah, it is tragic. I mean, it's like this is as horrible as she was, there was probably someone good there that was turned. Yeah, her methods were altruistic. She wanted to have a baby. She was barren, and she went to the witches and promised them her firstborn daughter or something. If they would grant her the ability to get pregnant.

You told that story in the first Cannon Fodder, I think? It might have been the first Cannon Fodder. I think it was the first or second one. And so they did that. And then when they came for the baby, she said, No, no, don't take my baby. Take me instead. Right.

So she sacrificed herself to save her baby's life, but in turn she became part of the coven. And then her coven died on top of that. And then she went. So sad. She would have fought Umlo. He might not know it, but she would have fought Umlo in that first battle.

She 100% knew who Umlo was. Right, I forgot that they had fought them before. Oh yeah, you would say, I don't know who you are. I've got a very bad short-term memory. Who are you people? He was crazy at the time, though. They had driven him insane. Anyways, you guys, you look at the map,

and you see that from here, if you just keep continuing southeast or so, you're about 40 miles away from where they say Minderhals Valley is. You've got to figure you've got three horses between you, no, four horses between you and five, no, one wolf. Anyways, you've got to figure you're probably moving about 18 miles a day, give or take, as long as the terrain

stays the way it is. So you're a few days away from where this alleged Minderhals Valley is. You guys make your way in that direction, I'm assuming. We need to heal this ability.

Yeah, we're, yeah, okay. So we can do that all off air. You guys camp for the night. You heal up. You're going to get some of that ability damage back and everything. And you can see that on the map there's a settlement that Tom Exposition mentioned. It's Shinemon's fortune.

You're not far away from that. It's kind of along the way. So you could, if you don't mind taking a stop, you could stop in town. Maybe buy some things. Maybe sell some things. Depending on what this town is. It's a little bit out of the way, but it's pretty much on the way to

Minderhall's Valley. So on the next day, do you guys think you want to go there? Yeah do you want to just keep going? Yeah, absolutely, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I know Nestor's hurt. I just lost four strength. Yeah, I'm still down three con, two charisma.

I'll heal one con and one strength, but still that's... Yeah, all my stuff is drained. Yeah, there's been so much ability damage in this book. You said it would take two days to get to this town, right? Or one? Which one was it? So you guys camped there.

Three. It's going to take you about three days to get to Minderhall's Valley, but you can get to the town. Oh, I'm sorry. You can get to the town of Shinemon's Fortune the next day if you want to. It's a little bit out of the way.

One night's rest. Yeah, so you get one night's rest. We'll work on that off air. But you start heading in that direction and you see a small stream just flowing out of the southeast and there's a good footpath next to the stream. You're like, great, we might be able to make better time if we stick along the stream and it seems to be heading

in the same direction as the town. in the same direction as the town. After a few hours, you hear something in the distance. You hear and the soft sound of an infant crying. You look in the distance and see a cottage bombarded by boulders. Oh no. See you next week.

Giants! Oh no! Outro Music