The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 81 - The Hills Have Eye

Episode Date: December 13, 2016

Rescued babe in tow, the crew arrive at the prospecting town of Shinnerman's Fortune only to find an all too familiar scene. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast I've got to say, I've been cleaning a bit under the weather ever since fighting that underground dwarf fella. Exhausted and spent Did you see, I used every spell on that cat. The companions limp into a bombarded village and meet the locals. They were giants! They were very large creatures! I'm not going to tell you what kind of giants they were!

There are at least a dozen people whose whereabouts are unaccounted for. Thank you, there's so much evil in the world. It's good to know there are truly good people. Sorry, was I playing my hip-hop music too loudly? Let me just turn that down. I just love the rap music. But they never would have imagined who, then all of a sudden, or what, was coming. Oh, you hear a tree crashing. The adventure continues. Get out of here. Right now. Why hello. It's Matthew here to welcome you to this week's episode.

I mean, it's been a long time. Not since the retreat where I learned the true depths of depravity that runs through the GCP crew. Also, I discovered that they're all a bunch of insomniac hooligans. There's a fun story where Troy, on the last night, Troy literally stepped on me while I was sleeping, probably figuring that it was easier to kill me than kill Della in the game. You know, basically amounts to the same thing for him. But since I love Pathfinder more than Troy hates humanity and everyone else hates a good eight hours of rest, I will not be silenced. You can't stop the crits, Troy. Never. Anyway, thanks as always for listening. Here's episode 81. The hills have eye.

Another week, another episode, and that stupid wolf is still alive. Yeah! Yes! Lexington lives! Victory for us all. Not for lack of trying. You literally did like 16 attacks on Lexington. Literally.

I was going to say, you literally made up a ridiculous creature to kill that wolf. That thing is a wolf killer. Ever seen Eight-Legged Cat? It is like the most... It's like a lie that a desperate person would make. I was like, an eight-legged cat jumps out of the woods and jumps on his back.

And then you catch on fire. I think it's actually how Troy views his own cats. In his idealized version of them. They're like wearing armor and helmets. Great mythical beasts. In all honesty, you were looking at me, you were very angry because you thought I was just trying to take out Lexington. I really, that creature was so powerful, I wanted it to attack a PC. It just didn't make sense where you guys were standing for it to do that.

So it added extra danger to kill Lexington. But do you think that your friends extra danger to kill Lexington. Do you think that your friends were there to help Lexington? Or do you think they would just be like, fuck that wolf? I don't understand the question. The PCs? The PCs, yeah. Oh, no. They don't care, but they certainly

wouldn't risk anything or not help each other first. You know what I mean? And I don't think they'd be all that broken up about it. I'd be devastated. I think they like Lexington. Sure, sure. Nestor doesn't really care. They're not going to go out of their way to hurt him.

Right. But they'll let him die. Yeah, if they had to. She was trying. Everybody was trying, but I'm saying if it was the choice between that and helping an ally that was not a wolf, I think they'd go that way. I'd help the wolf.

Let me ask you this. If Lexington dies, what's your next mount going to be? I haven't thought about it. I have a suggestion. A giant tortoise. That's what I was about to say. A Galapagos tortoise. If Lexington dies, I'm going to retire from adventuring. I charge slowly into battle. You should have chose the same. A Galapagos tortoise. If Lexington dies, I'm going to retire from adventuring. I charge

slowly into battle. You should have chose the hair. There is a mini raptor familiar for a lot of wizards that can also be used as a mount, and it would be an amazing Jurassic Park tie-in for you. A dinosaur into battle. I don't allow it.

I really don't allow it. Alright, so you finished up with Nargrim Steelhand's tomb, and then you look at the map and you see you're about 40 miles away from the alleged Minderhall's Valley. Realizing that you guys are battle-weary, and, you know, Umlo and Nestor especially with that ability drain, it's really nerfing them and making them weaker. They're not sleeping well at night.

And you need to take a little side trip to the village of Shinnerman's Fortune to kind of see if they have a healer. Rest up before you continue off to a valley full of giants, as far as you know. A valley where giants are gathering, a giant army. So you guys go to sidetrack, and you see a cottage that's been decimated by boulders, and sure enough, there's a troll in there that wandered in and tried to eat a baby.

You guys killed the troll, killed the eight-legged cat, saved the baby in a very daring move, hitting it with a stick and catching it from the second floor. And now you have a baby with you. You continue up the road and see two more. And it's a girl, right? It's a girl, baby girl. Why, did you check it? I thought you said that. Yes, it's a girl. We have probably to change it at some point.

That's true. You have to change Willamette as well. Ah, she spit up on us, Cross Armor. it at some point. That's true. You have to change Willamette as well. She's spit up on Oscars armor. And so you continue up the path and you see two more cottages that have been destroyed as well. So obviously

there was some sort of, and you see the huge footprints, the giants have been here. There are giants that have been here and just destroyed these cottages. You continue up the way, you see Shinnerman's fortune, and it too has been decimated. The outer wall is broken, houses are caved in, bodies everywhere. Villagers run up to you, an older woman and an older man at the forefront, asking who you are. It says, we have been attacked.

Now, I don't know if this was clear last week, but they're not currently under attack. There are giants running around the village. Giants ran through here, just like they did those cottages. That's what we were afraid of is yet again going into a fight where we've already expended all of our abilities. Del has no spells. Umlo has 11 hit points.

Did you say I used every spell on that cat? Let me make a correction there. I used every spell trying to hit that cat. That whip. You did not whip it good. Let me make a correction there. I used every spell trying. That whip. You did not whip it good. I did not.

Yeah, you need to do a little more whip training, I think. I need to do a little more dice rolling training. I didn't roll above an eight, I think, the entire combat. So the woman and the man come up to you, and woman is like I'm Alderwoman Strya Kraum This is Alderman Jarek Sneth You have arrived in the wake of a savage giant attack on the village A few nights ago a wandering band of giants just passed through the region And destroyed our town

I'm sure you've seen some of the decimation on your way here She goes on to describe the raid. They bombarded the village with rocks. They rushed into the settlement after breaking the wall down and just started indiscriminately attacking everyone and everything that they saw, maiming and killing a number of villagers. They

eventually retreated back into the mountains, but only after seizing livestock and several more people as tribute and promising to return for more later. Oh, my God. Sorry, they were hill giants? All manner of giants.

All manner of giants. How many? Jerix speaks up. He's like, there are at least a dozen people whose whereabouts are unaccounted for, most notably Taram Shinuman, a descendant of the village's founder and the speaker for our council. We only pray that the giants have not yet eaten the captives and that at least some of them still live, but the threat these giants pose have left our people feeling helpless. Very few of our townsfolk are qualified to fight orcs, let alone

giants. We fear that the giants are going to return soon to fight orcs, let alone giants. We fear that the giants are going to return soon to exact more tribute, and we plead, if you are here to help in any way, if your journey takes you forward to where these giants were going, please help us find our missing kinfolk and put an end to this giant threat. If they've done this to our village, I can only imagine what they will do to all the neighboring towns. These giants are wanted by the city of True Now and all of the civilization of Galarian. We've been tracking them down, and I'm sorry to find your city under siege and hurting so badly on our way there, but it is a good sign that we're on the right track, because we've already defeated

many giants along our path, and they will not be the last. And we will do everything in our power to bring back those who've been stolen from you. That would be wonderful. So many sons and daughters have already been taken from us, as you can see. We haven't even had time to

clean up the mess. But if you can save these people, it would mean a lot to the village. We are a simple folk, just simple prospectors. We all keep to ourselves. We're peaceful people. We did nothing to attract the ire of these giants. If you can in any way help return our people home, we would be most grateful. Question. would be most grateful uh question um is there anything like an orphanage or a uh any kind of uh like a uh bereaved recently grieving mother lost a child maybe uh anywhere that would really

appreciate the company of having a newborn you know in the house. I don't understand. What are you talking about? Well, here's the thing. We found this, you know, show it. Show him it. Good day. I am Sir Willem de Keswick of Highbury. He's got it. He struggles off. That's not a baby.

That's a man. A small man, but a baby. No, no, no. It's confusing, but it will all be clear momentarily. Yeah, he struggles to dismount, kind of one-handed, holding the baby carefully, and awkwardly walks this little baby girl over and says, We found her in one of the outer cottages after the attack. Her parents were killed, but she survived.

The woman cuts you off. Abria, please, this is my granddaughter. I thought her dead. And she comes and just like... I am so sorry. Takes her from you and holds her. Oh, oh, sweet Abria. Oh, my daughter is surely perished, but I assumed the baby would have been dead

as well. Oh, she yet lives. Thank you. Thank you for saving her. Were there any survivors? Not that we saw. I wish we could have done more, but we were too late. Oh, God. And she just weeps into the baby. Please, Jarek, we'll help you with anything you need.

Our village is yours to stay, to rest up, to heal, whatever you need. Just speak to them and I will deal with you on the morrow. And she leaves. Okay, so yeah, I'll talk to this Jarek guy and just sort of explain the situation, highlighting mainly, you know, we are battle-weary and could use a rest. In exchange, we would like to help where we can,

fixing your village before we set back out to find these giants, and hopefully your missing speaker. That's very kind of you to offer. I don't want to of you to offer. I don't want to delay you any further, to be honest. We have people that can help rebuild. But if you could perhaps help us with the bodies and whatnot,

just collecting them. We are embarrassed to say that this raid happened a couple days ago and there are still bodies laying around. We need help just making this place livable for those survivors who yet stay here. If you could help us with this, we can equip you with anything you need. Basic supplies and food and water for at least two weeks. We are simple, but we can give you what we have. Okay, thank you. Let's go to work.

And I guess we will head into this village. Yeah. and I guess we'll head into this village I mean it's pretty beat up but it's generally speaking there's still enough buildings up that you can we can rest, we can heal, we can eat

we can sleep somewhere you can see that the main destruction happened on the fortifications to the village and that's how they got in and then the houses, some of them have been completely destroyed. Others are just, you know, there's wreckage everywhere.

You know, if there was pens where animals were, the pens have been destroyed and whatnot. But it's a real mess. And it's not a big village. There's not, probably not even a hundred people that lived here at its busiest time. You know what I mean?

So right now there's maybe 70, 80 people in the village. You can tell it's, it's a very small settlement, settlement of people. Could I do a knowledge history on Shinemon? Sure. Yeah, absolutely. 13.

13. You really had never heard of it before. Tom Exposition mentioned it. But, yeah yeah I mean these sort of villages are not uncommon in the area you know people who came here seeking gold you know if there were dwarven mines back in the day or gold in the streams of this

river it would be very common for lots of individuals to come here so probably everyone keeps to themselves for the most part they came here for you know like prospectors in the 40s kind of feel. And they just have this little town and they do well, but it's not like there's a mansion or anything. Wait, prospectors in the 40s?

Like the 1840s? Yeah, 1840s. The 49ers? Yeah, the 49ers. I was thinking it's like draft dodgers from World War II or something. They sold them in Colorado. Prospectors from the 1340s. As we're walking in and going wherever we're going,

Will would like to talk to this guy, just getting some more details. You said that they were... They told you they were taking people for tribute? Yes, they maimed and killed so many people, but it seemed as if they purposefully took some of the people away from us and livestock and didn't kill them. Now, maybe they meant to just eat them,

but it seemed very strange. We overheard as we were doing our best to fend them off, mostly hiding something about tribute. The people they did take, were they injured? Did they take maimed people? The people that they took, they beat before they took

them, yes. Okay. But there were some women and children that were just grabbed. Children as well? Yes. Oh no, that is terrible. Between you and me, I would be shocked if the children have survived this. Tribute to some chieftain or the storm tyrant? It could be, Della. It could be. I can tell you that we just fought off a group of orcs and giants that are organizing.

And if you're telling me that you were attacked by all sorts of different giant folk, sounds like they're organizing too. Yes. We've never seen anything like this. I've been here all my life. I was born here, my father was born here, and his father was born here. We've never been attacked by giants.

Sure, you hear stories of neighboring tribes, but everyone keeps to themselves. This makes no sense. We have done nothing. So do you know nothing of giants? Could you name the races of giants that you saw? Sadly, no. They all look

the same to me. They're enormous creatures. How large were the largest ones? I mean, the largest ones seem to be four or five times your size. My size? His size.

Like my size. Relatively, you know. They were big creatures. They're giants. What don't you understand? Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just very upset. Very upset at this role play.

Very upset when I say things that I didn't want to say because I don't have a good enough answer they were giants they were very large creatures I'm not going to tell you what kind of giants they were I for one don't think that they're going to be eaten as

other people have suggested I'm afraid that I think they're being put into bondage these giants ate and lived apart from the rest of us until now i think this is the beginning of a new world order they're attempting to put onto this planet you're suggesting slavery yes we cannot allow that to happen sheriff a man living in chains ain't no man at all. Our people are no slaves. Please, please, I'm sure you have reasons for your own for being here. But if you can help us find our villagers, you would be doing a great deed for all humanity.

I think our missions coincide. It is... it would be our honor to help your people Let's rest up And get going as soon as possible Before any more of these people die Yes, we rest? Is that Is there anything else we need to do before we rest?

Shop in town if you guys want to do any shopping Let's ask for a healer too Yeah, can we Is there by chance a cleric in the village that lives? We have a cleric, yes, unfortunately. It is Tammerman Shimmerman himself. He is

a very accomplished healer, and I'm sure were you to find him and save him, he would be able to do anything for you, but, and he kind of leans in closely, it's like I'm loathe to even talk about it because once people realize that he's not longer here those who are hurt or maimed we don't have the capabilities to save them what are their positions on demon's blood excuse me never mind

della just checking sir will gives me cut it checking cut it off it's marvelous stuff I don't know what the problem is okay so what about a market does anybody need to go to a market for any reason or do you guys want to buy some potions we have stuff to sell right

we do have stuff to sell actually yeah we have stuff to sell from the tomb oh yeah so I mean it's a pretty let's see what they've got for money here right we do have stuff to sell actually yeah we have stuff to sell from the tomb oh yeah so uh i mean uh it's a pretty let's see what they've got for money here um yeah i mean i think they'll be able to accommodate you if you want to uh sell some stuff obviously your gems your opals you can get full value for and then everything else they'll buy at half price straight up and down cool i've got a couple things to sell,

but I'd like to make my own trip if it's all right. I need a bit of time to myself. I see Nestor. I need time to myself. Nestor gets up early in the morning. I'm a loner, you see, and this kind of constant companionship is wearing on my nerves.

You're an introvert. I'm just a little curious, Nestor. You came out of that prison cell with nothing but your clothing on your back and your jolter bow. What else do you have to sell? Are you selling your bow? Is that what's happening? We did have a catalog. I'm just curious.

A catalog to be aware of. Because we've been splitting everything. Listen, mate. Look, if you listen back to the episode, there was a satchel that had some personal effects in it. And I didn't feel the need to describe all the valuables that I'm carrying with me. Sense motor. Yeah, come on.

18. You win. That's where I always win. Oh, man. Baren's like, all right. All right, okay. That makes sense. The story checks out.

Fair enough. All right. Baron's like alright alright okay that makes sense story checks out fair enough alright so he shows up with a statue of like two giants making love what was it it was a it was a female fire giant

it was a fire female fire giant one of the things so Nestor you're able to sell your stuff no problem awesome and then you guys

can do the same as well and before you're ready to leave the next day you know obviously you get a knight's worth of healing so you get your level plus your, obviously you get a night's worth of healing. So you get your level plus your con back.

You get, Adela gets all her spells. Baron gets his grit points. I might need, we might need to heal Umlo. We might need to do two nights here. Ah. I mean, I'm, Willamette is very far down. Oh yeah. How many hit points does Willamette have?

He has 21. Out of? Left. 70. Out of 70. Oh man. So a rest gives him 10. So he'd be at 31 heading out into, to fight giants. Out of 70. Oh, man! So a rest gives him 10, so he'd be at 31 heading out to fight giants.

Oh, okay. And I have no healing left for the day, so it's only that rest. So if I rest, use healing, and then rest, I'll be much better off. Alright, so you guys want to take two days? What day do you take? A villager dies. No, I'm kidding. But I'm not kidding.

Della will use the extend magic wand, or or rod to cast infernal healing on Umlo. Because he is hurt. Umlo doesn't want it. Is he? No? Is he good? He doesn't want your infernal healing. Fine.

He can be in pain. You know what's really funny? Do you guys have a wand? Yeah. We'll take care of it. We'll take care of it. I just wanted to make it clear that it's going to need to be two nights. I mean, it doesn't need to be.

If Sheriff Barron really wants to push out fast, we can use up the wand. Sheriff's orders. Sheriff's orders. I think there's people in danger, but I also want to respect everyone. It's been a long, hard ride. I think it's in our best interest. It depends on what's in your heart, what you want to do. I've got to say, I've been feeling a bit under the weather ever since fighting that underground dwarf fella.

I don't know. It's like I've got this cough that I can't shake, and I just feel, you know, feel weak. Well, I think we might want to talk about Buying an additional wand of healing or something else Some potions to keep us safe along the way While we have money from the proceeds of You know, Nestor's personals that he got from the jail

And nothing else And the rest of Not willing to contribute Nestor, are you willing to chip in for a wand of cure-light wounds? Of course, yeah. I mean, that's something that we all benefit from. That's a stand-up act. Thank you very much.

You seem to have come into some cash lately, Nestor. I won't ask where you got it. I'm amazed that the giants didn't hit the horse racetrack, and they just had a place for Nestor to go gamble. But you're saying they have enough gold for us to get that, and could we possibly get a wand of Cure Light Wounds? Yeah, absolutely. The guy, he's a little shook up, but

he wanted to get back to business as fast as possible, so he's able to sell you that. Now, if you wanted some strange magical item, he may not have that, but they do have some magical items there. Outside of poison and stuff, I know that Sir Will had a request for some sleeping armor.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I looked up the rules on this. I couldn't really find anything that clear. Is there no way to resize a medium-sized magical armor to a small? I guess there isn't. Can I get this in a small? There isn't. Check the back of the store. Because you can sleep in leather armor, but Can I get this in a small? There isn't. You can sleep in leather armor, but you can't sleep

in a scotch armor. Right. So I think the idea was I'm trying to explore this actually playing a character really wearing heavy armor. And I think the idea is you're out of it most of the time. You just put it on when you are going into imminent combat. Or in a very dangerous territory. But at night, all that kind of stuff, you also

don't have to be completely unarmored. If you had another set of light leather armor on you, you could wear some light leather armor. And Baron has swapped out his old leather armor for the new one he found. No, I didn't swap it out once I figured out it was the exact same. I mean, mine's studded versus regular leather. But I think... But we have two sets. The thing that makes the most sense to me is a role like in any town to see

if they have a small version and small stuff is worth less. Well, this is what I'm going to do. If you, if you ask him if he has any small leather armor, he's just like, uh, I mean,

it's not very normal for us to have a little armor of that size, but I surprisingly do have this, uh, armor here fit for a child. Oh, how convenient. It might be your size. Perhaps we could just do an even trade.

It is fate. It is fate, then. We have this extra medium plus one leather armor, and we do a straight swap, so I have a small plus one leather. Yeah, and the guy didn't know it was magical. But he still got the better of the deal, because he has actual medium leather. Yeah, exactly. So he does a little switcheroo.

Alright, awesome. It's worth more for him too. And yours says like, Gap Kids on it. It's his youth. It's a youth medium. It has little dinosaurs on the bottom. Sure. So, Sir Will, on this next day,

wants to take an opportunity at some point to speak with Della. He kind of wants to pull Della aside, you know, keep it kind of casual, but ask her, Della, this ritual you have been interested in lately with the demon blood i'm just curious how did that come up and and why do you do it when i was a child i uh discovered i had this ability and my father was training me and you know i would get hurt i would you know fall and you would be training with swords

and I would get hit. And then, well, I did other things too, but I needed to heal somehow and I was studying and I found this, if I could purchase a small vial of this blood and anoint myself with it, I could use my powers to heal the wounds that our enemies delivered to me.

Your father was training you in what? Martial combat. Martial combat. Martial combat. Was he a great warrior? He was a complicated man. Somebody singing in town. Do you hear the lute playing? Yeah, it's like mournful.

It's like I saw a dirge for the dead. Yeah, it's like mournful. It's like I saw a dirge for the dead. He was a man of the cloth until my mother was taken from him. Very interesting. Who did he worship? I don't know. He never told me.

He never told you? When I, after I was born, he was broken and cast out of his order. Oh, that's all very strange. Well, I certainly understand the need to heal from wounds in martial combat. It is something I have experienced much, but I have endeavored to not use these sort of means that you have sought. And while I completely understand the ease of it, sometimes the easiest way is not the best way I have found. When your enemies are using,

are stealing children, eating children, ripping women from their families, leaving babies dead, wouldn't you use any means available to you? No, I would not. Because we don't want to use the same means that they use. There is a

concern there that you might one day go down a path that they have taken. That, yes, perhaps now this infernal healing will make you feel better. But, in the long run, it may lead you down a path that

you do not wish to take, and you may not see it happening until it's too late. I believe that you are a beautiful creature, that your existence here in Galarian is not by accident, and that you have the power to do great good while you are here. And while I will not discourage you from doing what you want to do now, I just want you to think about it, because I believe you could be a great force for good in this world.

And carrying around a vial of demon's blood might give people the wrong idea. This is like a lecture a guy would like high school daughter gets a tattoo or something yeah yeah almost exactly but remember they're basically the same roughly the same age right because moment's very young so i don't i think as this is going on della is getting a little more and more resentful of this love this of this talking to oh i'm sure she is all the forces for good in this world that i've known are dead or paralyzed with ineptitude you do you sir will, I'll do me

as you say my lady do you guys decide to stay for two nights after all? if we have a rod can't we just keep on moving? yes the only people who need healing can't use the rod.

Okay. Yeah, I mean, we can use charges on the wand or we can rest. I'm fine with resting another day because I'm behind this theory that one more day is not going to change the situation. Also, looking at the map, it would make sense that if your ultimate sort of destination is this valley, there's not a lot of settlements along the way, so this may be your last chance for a while to be in a real

town, you know what I mean? Without having to backtrack. But who knows if you're going to have time to do that. So it's not, even though there is a rush, I think there's probably a feeling amongst the group like, this may be our last taste of civilization for a while. Let's soak it up while we can.

Yeah, I'm more than, Nest is more than willing to. Although, at the mention of giants, he did perk up a bit. But even still, he'd like to spend a couple of days. It's been a long, hard journey. All right, well, that's fine with me. I think we're all kind of on our separate paths right now. And Baron, instead of heading over to the bar, right now is going to go check in on the baby and see if she's all right.

So he knocks on the door of her grandmother and just checks in and says, how's she doing? Is she adjusting all right you have a crib still left over for her to sleep in she's fine thank you she seems to be unharmed and luckily for her she's too young to know the tragedy that befell her parents hopefully she will grow up strong i i can't thank you and your companions enough for saving her. Although I've, and she kind of chokes back the tears, lost a daughter and a son-in-law. I at least could raise this girl, raise Abria as one of my own.

I'll tell you one thing. We just got revenge for a very important man named Silvermane. And I know that that debt, that grudge has been settled i will march forward with abria's name in my tongue and in the back of my head at all times and get revenge for her and for your family and for all of shineman's fortune i just want you to give this girl as much safety and comfort you can in the meantime. Thank you much. And he walks out. And before you leave, she grabs your dust truncheon and says, He said I walked out! Thank you. There's so much evil in the world.

It's good to know there are truly good people left. This isn't much, but I'd just like to give you a token of my appreciation. This is an old family heirloom of mine that has always made us feel safe. And may it protect you on your journey as well. And she gives you a small silver clasp that you could, like, stick in your cloak in the shape of an arrow. Oh, nice. I put it nearby where I keep my hope knife. And I say to her, ma'am, if you look out at the stars at night,

I want you to look at them and think, it's not the dark that's winning, but the light when I walk out. He's quite the public. Okay. So do we want to wander through like wounds? Yeah, so we'll get that. And then Willamette is going to spend some time

trying to literally run the numbers on food water you know supplies that kind of stuff and buy that stuff right and get the you know horses all saddled and fill fill the saddlebags with supplies and everything if you go to pay for it they they say no no oh jarek said this is this is the least we can do, and they give you two weeks' worth of trail rations and food. That is extremely generous. Thank you. Should we also see if there is perhaps, I know they're ransacked, but a fifth horse for Umlo,

so he doesn't have to ride alongside someone else? Yeah, absolutely. And they do give you a horse. It's in a little bit better condition than the one you got out of True Now. They look a little reluctant to give it away because you can see as they're giving it to you, there's like blood in the stables. So they were probably wiped out of horses on the way there. But they're like, please treat her well. Is there a chapel that's still standing? There is. It's a non-denominational chapel. Okay. So like LCD TV screens. Right.

Bloody Unitarians. A young kid comes up. He's the priest. What's going on? Let's just rap. You want to just rap? There's a kid with a snare drum and another one with an electric guitar. Sorry, was I playing my hip-hop music too loudly? Let me just turn that down.

I just love the rap music. Just rapping about God. Then he spins around a chair and sits on it backwards. Did you want to talk about God? And there's a poster behind him. There's a poster behind him warning about the evils of infernal healing. Just say no.

It's like a little girl being infernally healed. Say no to infernal healing. Kelly's like, just say no. On the nose. Between my office and the bus stop that I take there is the new Church of Scientology in Harlem has popped up. Cut his mic, cut his mic. They have an army of people, of like young people in black suits

who are just like out on 125th Street every day. Just like, hey, how you doing? Kind of like handing things. Do you like music? What can I do you for, son? Sir Will is just going to go in and say a few prayers and pray for the health and well-being of everyone in the town and on our journey.

Nice. For all the good it'll do. And Nestor is going to try to find some dice, people to dice with. Nice. Okay, yeah, I can see night one and night two, Nestor spending his time dicing. Out in the town, I'm using my knowledge local to find a disreputable establishment.

You know there's mechanics for that. You know there's mechanics for that. For dicing? Yeah, for gambling. You roll against the DM, you see how much gold you made, you make like eight gold pieces. You lost three gold pieces. And you have loaded dice. I have loaded dice. You roll against a DM, you see how much gold you made, you make like eight gold pieces. You lost three gold pieces. And you have loaded dice.

And I have loaded dice. What does that give you, a plus? Yeah, there's like a... I don't know. Yeah, it's like a plus something. And I would use my... I was thinking I'd use my bluff skill against whatever. Yeah, that's fun.

I think it's in the ultimate campaign, I think. Yeah. All right, quick, bluff rolls. All right. Three bluff rolls, kid. All right. Wait, Della's going to go too. Oh, and? No, Della's going to go too. Oh, and?

Della really is a cigarette smoking teenager. She's hanging around with filthy people. I'm such a bad influence. Clearly they don't want her at this church. And also, I'm going to study whoever it is that I'm dicing against. Use my study target bonus on that.

So, that's a plus 12. 27. 27? Alright. So let's roll a bluff check? Yeah that's a plus 12. 27. 27? All right. So let's roll a bluff check. Yeah, roll a bluff check. All right. Six. Perfect.

Seven. Oh, natural 20. 22. Oh, he's so good. He's so good. Natural 19. 20. Okay.

And roll one more each. 22. Seven again. Nestor walks out of town with an extra 15 gold pieces. Della loses her shirt. She's five gold pieces down. That's great.

Let me mark that on the loot sheet. Listen, sometimes the dice are just on it and they don't favor you. This is how it is. Don't give up. Didn't you say you had loaded dice? Did I say that I had loaded dice? Oh I did Yeah no

It also helps to have loaded dice It's like my old dad used to say When all else fails Cheat the other buggers ears off Didn't make a lot of sense back then But I understand it now Is your old dad What does he do?

What did he do? Well he was a professional man He was a working man Seems like he has a lot of opinions He was full A lot of wisdom A lot of wisdom in him A lot of people would come to him

For help and advice Yeah he's a very clever man Not clever enough in the end but what can you do in the background while the dice is rolling in the distance you can kind of hear this unceasing clink clink clink clink clink are you sharpening your gun? Baron. I was going to say, is that the sound of brewing ales? Fine ales? Baron has found a chiseler's kit and he is carving

the symbol of Torag into the side of a building that he has talked to the owner and gotten their permission for. Wow. To be a warning to Giants, this town is protected. And he's like, cool! Thanks! Sheriff, your office is protected. And he's like, cool! Thanks! Sheriff,

your office is getting bigger and bigger. Your territory, your jurisdiction is expanding. T for Torag, T for True Now. I do think it would be really cool if every town that we successfully save and Baron survives through, he's like, I'd also

like your jurisdiction. And he just has 20 badges on his duster. You guys have a sheriff here in Shimmerman's Forge? All right. So two days later, you guys set out in search of giants, marauding giants who have crushed those cottages, rotting giants who have crushed those cottages, sacked this city, and stolen their villagers and livestock as quote-unquote tribute,

is what Jarek overheard. Alderwoman Strya Kram, so happy that you returned to Obria, gives Baron a brooch in the shape of an arrow for his cloak, which he proudly wears. I'm now participating in the Hunger Games. I know, totally. You volunteer

as tribute. And you guys set off and you can see the wake of destruction as you go out of town. As you were coming into town, there were those cottages that were a little bit on the outskirts of town so you see more cottages

and the like, stables and whatnot, and you can see more devastation a few hours into your trip so it's not dark yet but night is approaching you get into a thick thickly wooded area but the path

still continues through the woods we're riding right? Yep you're on horseback. Umlo now has his own horse. Everybody roll a perception check. 16. 20. 21. Della doesn't see anything. Alright, so Della

busily staring at her vial of demon's blood. You guys are really obsessed with demon's blood. I don't know what that says about you guys. It's disturbing, man. It's demon's blood you're just walking around with. The world is disturbing, let's be honest. You, Nestor, Baron, and Willamette,

maybe I'm not sure. Oh, I didn't know if I'm wrong. You see a pair of humanoid creatures darting through the thickets ahead. Oh, duh. So we're in sort of the woods here? You're getting into a much more wooded area.

The path is continuing through the woods, and you guys, you know, you're very aware up ahead. Obviously you're going to hear a giant coming, but you see just... And it's sort of dusk. Yes, it's getting dusky. I say to the group, slow to a trot. Do not stop.

Okay, so we're going to continue forward, keeping an eye out. Willow's going to ready a lance. He's got his lance up in the air with the banner flying. Do you guys continue forward? Yeah. Slower, obviously, not a full gallop. Della has the whip out. And I want to just keep doing perception checks.

I'm keeping my eyes open. Yeah, Nestor, super suspicious. Nestor, you roll another perception check. All right. 16. 16. 16. Yeah, you're not quite sure. You see this happening

and you guys are getting closer and closer and then you notice that they're humans and they see you and they're just like, help. Help us. What? Please.

Please help! It's going to kill us! And you see absolute terror on the faces of two men. Sense motive. Okay. Yeah, I'm with you on that. And I'm studying them. Miss.

20. I believe him. 20. 14. Abject terror. You know that they are fearing for their lives. Please, please help us. The other one gets a little louder than the other one.

You don't understand. Help us. Help us. Then all of a sudden. No. No. You hear a tree crashing. Boom!

Boom! And all of a sudden, a huge creature emerges from the trees ahead. And the one feature you notice besides its giant greataxe is that it only has one eye. Oh, man! Cyclops! Cyclops man. A cyclops? Cyclops? A huge cyclops. No!

Oh, my God. Roll for initiative. Oh, my God. That piece is amazing. That is the biggest pawn I have ever seen in my fucking life. That is the actual image from the Giant Slayer pawn deck, too. Wow. Oh, no, Sir Will!

No! I should have asked this beforehand, but talk to me about party order. I imagine Nestor's probably up front. Yeah. Del will join you if you want. I'd love that. I'd love that very much. Don't get it. Love connection. No, just it's not the company.

We'll have the dwarves and then Sir Will. Can I have a dwarves and then Sir Will. Can I have a little bit of infernal blood, please? Ready another hit, man. I'm jonesing, I'm jonesing, mate. So those villagers were here. The way I've drawn it, you see like forest, there's some bushes,

but the path continues through this forest and this gigantic, I mean huge in terms of Pathfinder terms, Cyclops comes smashing trees down because these guys yelled too loudly and now is facing you guys I would like to precursor this combat by saying

this is the most dangerous creature you have probably fought Jesus Christ this is a fucking Cyclops you have probably fought. This is a fucking cyclops! I thought we'd be warming up to this stuff. We had enough trouble with an eight-legged cat. This is... Now we gotta

fight a 12-foot-tall cyclops? Alright, what did everybody get for an ish? 12. 12. 16 for Doe. I also got 16. All right, who's ahead in those two?

Sir Willamette comes in with a four. A gentleman's four? A gentleman's four. What about Umlo? Oh, by the way Matthew starring as umlo this week oh yeah I'm umlo

yeah that's that's umlo my umlo's not wearing hockey pants uh eight for umlo's initiative

eight for umlo what'd you get Willamette four alright so jeepers alright he didn't get the jump this time um yeah this thing just came out Eight for Amlo. What'd you get, Willamette? Four. All right, so, jeepers. All right. He didn't get the jump this time. Yeah, this thing just came out.

So you guys are good. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, thirty, thirty-five, forty, forty-five, fifty, fifty-five, sixty feet away from this huge creature. You've got Della and Nestor up front, followed behind by the dwarves, Sir Willamette in the rear. This time time Sans baby

atop a unfortunately still living really frees up my movement round one Barry so I actually need a quick primer because we got off our horses I can't really fight on this horse

because it's not combat trained right correct that sucks maybe you should train your horse I can't really fight on this horse because it's not combat trained, right? Correct. That sucks. Maybe you should train your horse. So busy carving. Well, you know, the guy who seems to be good with animals is giving lectures to teenagers instead of training our horses. I'm going to... I almost want to hold my action

how far can I move on the horse and is dismounting a move action or a standard action I believe it's a move action so I'm going to hold my action until I see the melee people go because I need to get close enough

but I want to position myself wisely so I'm not shooting through them, and just strategically it'll be best for me to set in afterwards. Alright, so Baron delays his action. Della. Della is gonna do cast Cat's Grace on herself.

And then move up. No, she'll hang back for now. She'll cast Cat's Grace, and that move up. No, she'll hang back for now. She'll cast Cast Grace, and that's it. Okay. It is now the Cyclops' turn. It just sees all of you in the thickets. Clearly, it's been chasing these two men

that look, obviously, scared for their lives. Are they between us and the Cyclops? No, they're over here in the woods. So this Cyclops was looking for them, and they ran into the woods and the thickets here off the path. But then he came through the path and sees you guys. He rushes forward and just levels his eye at all of you and just reaches back into the sky like, ah, and just shoots a beam of light out of his eye at all of you. He's Cyclops. He's actually Cyclops. He's Cyclops.

He's actually Cyclops. Roll a reflex save. Oh, my God. I could not have a worse reflex save. This is going to be bad. 21. 26 for Della. All right.

12 for Willamette. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. 24. 24 for Ben. What about Umlo? Matthew, come on. I'm trying to research things. 23.

23. Alright, so Willamette failed. So will. Your horses should roll reflex saves as well in Lexington because they're going to take damage. I forgot about Lexington. Reginald. Everyone's horse. What is the reflex save of a horse? Assume it's

low. Reflex save is plus five. 16 for Leonard or whatever my horse's name is. 25 for Reginald. Okay. 24. 23 for Lexington. Out of everyone in this party, Willamette

and Nestor's horse fail. Willamette and Nestor's horse take 32 points of damage. Oh, wow. And the rest of you take 16. Oh, boy. Wait, what? 32 is half? No, 32 is full.

I made it. I'm 23. Who failed? Willamette failed. That's what I said. You said Lexington. Willamette and Nestor's horse took 32 points of damage. Lexington's a wolf, Joe. I don't know if you know that. Well, I thought you said Lexington. Willamette and Nestor's horse took 32 points of damage. Okay. Lexington's a wolf, Joe. I don't know if you know that. Yeah, well, I thought he was just keeping it quick.

That may have killed Nestor's horse. I can't imagine the horse has more than 32 points. Sure. For what it's worth, I mean, the beam came through. It was a time of exposition. So Nestor's horse gets obliterated. Horses have 15 hit points and 17 constitution points.

There you go. What was your horse's name again? Buttercup. Buttercup has died. We'll see you next week. No, I'm kidding. That was the perfect thing. He'd be like...

Buttercup. So a beam of light just comes out, scorches the earth, and that power brushes all of you back, even those of you who made a reflex save. Nestor, now horseless. All right. Is the horse disintegrated? Disintegrated, yeah.

So you land on your feet. In a pile of horse ash. I'm going to try to do a bluff check against the giant. Okay. So you say, Oh, fuck! It's a bloody blue dragon!

Look right behind you! As I'm studying him. 32. Oh, my God. It's distracted. Okay. Wait a minute. Let me make sure it speaks common.

This is comical. Well, you know what? At 32, it's at least going to look up. Okay. And I'm going to... It does speak common. Okay. Is there a cover?

Can I get into cover while that's happening? If you go off the path, you can get into cover. I didn't draw all these nests here, but there could be more bushes. I jump into a bush. Nestor, oh, dragon, runs into the bushes. It's a 20-23

stealth to hide. That would be against its perception. All right. It sees you. God damn it. It only has one eyeball, man. Yeah, but it's a really good one.

It's just so tall it can see over the bush. But you are at least, you gain cover. Umlo. Umlo is going to attempt a fast dismount off the horse. What's his ride check? He doesn't have one. So a natural 20 is the only way this is going to work. But if it doesn't, I just

get off as a move action, right? Correct. Three. He gets off as a move action. He falls off. He falls off the horse. He's caught in the stirrup. Not used to this new horse. Is this all difficult terrain? Is that how... Off the path. No, it's all normal terrain. Even if you took half damage,

everyone's horse that's on a normal horse is unconscious. Because it was 16 points. They have 15 points. So all the horses do... Yeah, Lexington has more hit points than 16. Let me see where Reginald's go. Reginald's still up. He's got...

So Reginald, Lexington's still up. So Umlo dismounts. Baron and Umlo's horse. Unconscious. Unconscious. So Umlo dismounts. Baron and Umlo's horse. Unconscious. Unconscious. So Umlo gets, like, struggles out of the horse and then ducks off the path and starts making his way towards the giant spear in hand.

Okay. Umlo rushes into battle. That's what Umlo does. Sir Will atop Lexington. Sir Will is going to... He's going to move just to the side of Della, and he's going to try to get a clear path between him and the Cyclops, but just to the side so that he can try to set up a charge.

And then he's going to do a lay on hands on himself to heal. Ah, okay. So he positions himself, lays on hands. Yeah, and he sort of is like, make way for the charge! And he sort of gets over into this square over here. All right, round two. Baron, do you want to use your action?

Sure. All right, Baron's going to move initiative order to the end. What are you going to do? Nope. He literally just stood right in front of the charge. I said, make way for a charge. And Baron's like, I will. He moves directly in front of Lexington.

There we go. Okay. Can I double move, maybe? Sure. Okay. All right. So Baron moves off. Oh, and I'll do a stealth check.

Where Umlo is. Okay. Fail. Yeah, I mean, this thing has a crazy bonus to perception because it has an eye that's as big as Lexington. Okay. It's as big as an Orm Vorax. All right, round two, Della.

So how does it work? If I'm on the horse, can I use the horse's movement speed as my move action? The horse is dead. Is it not? No. Reginald is much stronger. The only dead horse is Nestor's horse. The other horses are unconscious.

Yeah, I mean, I believe that you can use your horse's action to move and you don't have to use... And I can then do a full round action? I don't know. It's up to you. No. No, you move and you do a full run action, I think. Right? Just decide. Can he ride

far and then do a full attack action? It's the horse's movement, right? Right. You have to roll combat on the horse, though. Only if it's not combat trained. Combat trained mount is DC 10, right?

You have to do it even if it's combat trained. So trained mount is DC 10 ride check. Yeah. You have to do it even if it's combat trained. So I can move and then I'd roll to fight and then... Yeah, I'm sorry. I forgot because I have over a 10 ride. So I wrote that off. I have a seven. So I have to get a three or better. So Della is going to move up within 15 feet of the giant.

Okay. Spell combat, spell strike. All right. So let me roll first for the ride check. Okay, now remember this giant... Fail. Fail the ride check. Natural one. Oh my god. Oh no. You fall off Reginald.

Natural one, you absolutely fall off Reginald. So back where you were? Or does he charge? Because he doesn't try to attack until after he gets within 15 feet, so I think he falls off there. Right there, yeah. And is that knock prone or stand up? I roll a reflex save. I think he falls off there. Is that knock prone or stand up? I roll a reflex save. Or an acrobatic check.

Would it be a stay in the saddle ride check? No, you rolled a natural one on the ride check. Roll an acrobatic check to see if you land on your feet. 20. Reginald just keeps going past it.

What am I in the action economy now? Now you can do a standard action. Okay Della will go it will vanish That is perfect That didn't work out. Okay it's smart because it was its turn I just picture Reginald trying to like offer himself the Cyclops to be like, I'll be your horse.

Such a good horse. All right. The Cyclops grabs a tree trunk from a broken tree and just hurls it at Baron and Umlo in the thicket. Oh, man. 21 to hit. Oh, it's a... I'm going to use a grit point, actually. And I'm going to make that miss because I'm going to use Gunslinger's Dodge.

Okay. You hit Umlo. Plus two, and that's a miss. Is it a giant subtype? A Cyclops? Oh, actually, no. I don't use Gunslinger. It wouldn't hit Amlo. It doesn't hit Amlo. It doesn't hit Amlo. And I don't use my grip point. Thank you for that. Would have been 31 points of damage.

Oh, Jesus. Dude, these are one-shot kills, these things. I'm telling you like this is a killing machine. Look at the size of this thing. It's perfect. We should take a picture of this for the Tumblr. Well, it's a good thing we've done so much damage on it already speaking of alright so

you know I studied him so I'm going to take a couple of shots with the IMC I don't know what his AC is not but we'll find out 29 29 hits okay The aim, see, I don't know what his AC is like, but we'll find out. 29. 29 hits.

Okay. And that's 15 damage. Okay. To electricity. 15 on the second roll. 15 misses. But finally, some damage has been done. You see the arrow shocks the Cyclops And then falls to the ground Umlo

Umlo is going to double move Keeps charging through the woods Dodges the tree trunk that comes flying at him Double moves through the woods Ah nice He's taking the perimeter approach Just moving into this thing is going to provoke If you get too close

Willamette Sir Will Sir Willamette, Sir Will. Sir Willamette lines up Lexington properly just to the side of the creature so he may tilt at it. He's going to use a swift action to challenge the creature, to use his cavalier challenge,

the Order of the Shield challenge. You attack my friends, you will be skewered by my spear. He challenges this creature and does a full ride by attack charge past the side of the creature. So he's going to move

about 20 feet past him on the ride by attack. You covered a lot of ground on Lexington. It's a double move for the wolf. And you don't provoke because of ride-by attack. Well, no, because of the Cavalier's Charge. Cavalier's Charge, third level ability. Now, if you miss, you just end up past him?

Or hit. Yeah, miss or hit, you just ride by. So he's going to tilt down. Here we go. Oh my god. Get out of here. It was literally on a 15 and then rolled to a 7 but that's a 21 to hit

miss god damn it shit Baron I mean this is our only opportunities to do damage to this thing

I mean this is a killing machine Baron moves within 20 feet and will pull both triggers on his gun importing a single attack but it's going to impart

a negative 4 modifier to both my rolls so both bullets are going to shoot at the same time yes that is a hit it's a 23 to hit against Against touch?

Mm-hmm. All right, you hit. And that is 17 points of damage. Nice. Second attack. Boom! Misfire. Oh!

You said it so calmly. Oh, my God. Misfire. You're now averaging one misfire a week. Yeah. You weren't misfiring for such a long time, and now it's every time. Boom!

But it has been hit. Round three. And can I just say, let's take a look at this map. I've never quite seen this setup you guys have. You are completely surrounding him. Usually you all get caught in a corner, and you're...

Yeah, or we're all bunched up together right in melee, but now I think we're all getting a little bit smarter about fighting giants. We're keeping our distance. This looks how you would fight a giant. Surround him! Let's get him on every side! Alright, and it is round three. Did I mogo? He double moved.

Della is going to still invisible, she's going to move up into melee and cast Shock and Grasp. You're going to die! I forgot. She's invisible still, but I forgot she has the whip out, so she's going to stay back

and cast Shock and Grasp. Stay back and cast Shock and Grasp. You've had so much success with the whip already. At this point, it's a much bigger target than a cat. I know i'm i'm still rolling dice so yeah uh all right so you're gonna try and hit it with the whip with shocking grasp yes all right five foot step to your right i become visible miss uh and now here i go with with the actual whip 23 to hit is this a shocking grasp still? No, this is my actual attack.

So this is just whip damage. And the shocking grasp is still charged. The reason I ask, roll spell resistance. Oh, man. 14. Nope. Oh, man. So roll whip damage.

You take one point of damage. That was just like... One point of damage against a's just like one point of damage against a cyclops you gave him a wilt oh my lord and it looks at you with the axe

with the great axe and just swings down at Della with its first attack is it free action to drop a weapon yes Della with its first attack. Is it a free action to drop a weapon? Yes. Della will drop the whip at the end of her turn.

As you say, it's a free action to urinate. 19, excuse me. 17 plus 5, 22 to hit. Just hits. Oh my lord. Oh boy. 32 points of damage. Whoa. Second attack Natural 1

Alright I hope it's really bad Let me see, this might confirm it's a lower to attack I'll roll it in front of the table Oh my god, confirmed bump Yes! Please drop the axe This is insanity

So that's melee Please drop the axe. This is insanity. So that's a melee, obviously. Oh my goodness. You are bonk. You are stunned for one round. Fortitude negates. Now again, what was the... We always forget what the DC is. The DC is the...

I looked it up. The DC is the AC of whatever you were attacking. Oh, okay. So what's your AC? 21. 21. I'm not even exaggerating. Bunk!

Oh, man. Bunk Stella. All right. Oh, that would have been good. And it is Nestor's turn Well I guess I'm just going to keep shooting at it Try bluffing again

Alright first attack is a hit Nestor just Hiding behind the bush And God damn it 14 damage 6 electricity Second attack I'm sure we'll miss Alright And god damn it. 14 damage, 6 electricity. Second attack, I'm sure we'll miss.

Yep. All right. Misses. And if you're wondering at home why we're not rolling to see if it hits Del, Del is nowhere near the creature. The creature has insane reach. It is Umlo's turn. Umlo's going to take a five-foot... Umlo fighting a giant.

Actually, he has to take a full move action. He steps in. Oh, what about the armor? The fingernail armor? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, we keep forgetting this thing. DC 16 will save. That is on the guy that plays Umlo.

DC 16 will save. Failed. Okay, so sickened for 1d4 rounds. Okay. Sickened for two rounds. I believe that ability is not on his character sheet Why can't Why can't Umlo take a five foot step and then attack

Yeah he doesn't have to Oh cause he has reach he has a spear Five foot step double attack with the spear You need to do your Umlo homework It's dark in here Alright First attack Thirteen miss second attack Get that crit get that crit Eighteen so it's a All right. First attack, 13 miss.

Second attack. Get that crit. Get that crit! 18, so it's a 22 to hit. Hit! Don't forget, because it's a giant, you get an extra 2d6 damage, because that's a giant spade and spear. Yeah.

14 plus 4, so 18 damage. Nice. There you go, I'm low. I'm low! Alright, you guys have done some damage to this thing and it has missed on a couple of attacks. That tree trunk throw was a real big miss.

Seriously. Alright, Willamette. Willamette. Sure to die this episode. No kidding. No kidding. He had already ridden by him. He's going to stop, turn around, reset, because he forgot something the first time. He had already ridden by him He's gonna stop, turn around Reset Because he forgot something the first time This isn't what he forgot though

He is going to Smite evil on the creature I was wondering if you were gonna do that So he is going to Say Yomadai has come to bring you down And reset himself Lower the lance.

For Highbury! For Highbury! And charge. 28 to hit. Yes! Yes! And now we get into the serious Willamette damage territory. That is 33 points of damage.

Holy shit! If it's evil. It is evil, right? Oh, it's evil. It is evil, right? Oh, it's evil. Neutral evil. White light shatters upon impact as Willamette's lance connects. And you just run through, again, a chunk of this flesh. Right.

You hear... And actually, if you got to see the image, it's Umlo. He just stabbed him. He's 10 feet away. Umlo is 10 feet away. stabbed, pulled the spear back, and just in that second, in that five-foot space, Willem came running through with the wolf. Took a chunk out of the back of his thigh.

Yes. I can't even do the guttural sound that would be this. And that ride-by attack is amazing, because now Will is another 50 feet past him. Right, so now I can only attack Del and Umlo. Smart. Baron. Baron spends a grit point to quick-clear his gun.

Okay. And then he spends another grit point and he really... He closes one eye and really aims carefully and he looks down the side of his barrel and he targets the arm of the Cyclops and he will drop his weapon.

Matty 20. Matty 20. Second misfire. Imagine if you didn't clear it. Look at Joe. So misfire. Did you have to spend a grip point to do that? Imagine if you didn't clear it. Imagine if you didn't clear it. Look at Joe. Look at Joe. Jesus. So, misfire. Did you have to spend a grip point to do that?

To do that aiming? To do both, yes. Okay. I'd be knocking people's weapons out of their hands every round if I didn't have to spend a grip point. Are you kidding me? Oh, that would have been huge. Round four, Della. Della is... Wipes the urine off of her leg.

Free action. Free action. Oh, Della. Wipes the urine off of her leg. Free action. Oh, thank you. Della is going to spell combat. Oh, boy. No, actually. If I do a five-foot step, can I draw the sword on that, or does that make it a move action? Yes, it makes it a move action.

Not a free action. Della is going to draw the scimitar. Swift action. Keen it. Shock it. And she's going to vanish. Keen it. Shock it. Vanish. Twist it. Pop it. Alright.

Swing and set it. It is the Cyclops turn. It sees you and goes to try to swing where you were. 50% miss chance. I'll let you roll the 50% miss chance. Only if he hits. Only if he hits.

18 on the die. Oh, well, I'm going to die. Matthew. Just to be clear, 51 or higher, it doesn't hit you. Oh. Four. 40.

No, it's a four. Oh my god. It just sees you. Boom. Hits Della. Still has the Great Axe in the hand, thanks to Baron's Misfire, for 21 points of damage. And then the second attack. Della's unconscious. Della's unconscious.

Della's unconscious. Then second attack on Umlo. Boom! Tries to hit Umlo for 26 to hit. Hit. Hit something. Now it's because it's sickened. It's doing less damage.

28 points of damage to Umlo. Wow. This thing just did, what, 49 points of damage to just boom! Boom! He rolled a 28 to hit Emla? 28 to hit Emla. Oh, wow. Nestor!

I'm gonna... Nestor's so safely couched back there. I'm actually gonna move a little closer. Yeah. I'm gonna move up a little closer. I'm so jealous of you guys. I want to be in this combat so bad. I want to be one of the PCs.

That's a hit. 12 points of damage. 12 points of damage? Yep. All right. It is now Umlo's turn. See, now, Matthew, the good thing about Della falling unconscious, you can just focus on Umlo.

You're welcome. Umlo just took a great exit. I don't think I'm going to be focusing on Umlo. You're welcome. Umlo just took a great exit. I don't think I'm going to be focusing on Umlo very long. Question, does she become visible now? I was just about to look that up. I assume you have to concentrate. But it was a rod, right? No.

I mean, you don't have to concentrate. Deal with Umlo right now and then look up if Del is visible. I'm sure we'll get angry letters later. Umlo's going to do two attacks. Come on. Critical. Oh, he needs that. Rolling at E20.

A crit would be enormous. Natural 20. Get out of here. Get out of here. Oh, my God. I can see it. Somebody bottle capped this guy on the confirm. Oh, my God.

I don't have one. I don't have one either. Baron's the only one. I never get bottle caps and I have to give it to someone else. If you ever gave them out, we'd have one. Okay. to confirm. It's not going to confirm. 18, damn.

18 to hit. No confirm. No confirm. That's max damage, though. That's max damage, and you get the giant span, so 12. 28. 28 points of damage. Okay.

Yeah, 46 plus 4. 28 points of damage Okay Hold on a minute 28 points of damage? Alright, I will tell you right now This thing has ferocity on top of everything else It had 119 hit points I have exacted Every single hit point you guys have done

You just knocked it to negative 19 With that hit Let me look at it's constitution real quick Joe, would you read I'll hand you this, would you read the constitution score? 19. Damn! Oh, my God!

We'll see you next week! Oh, yeah! Victory! Victory! For Highbury! For Highbury! For Highbury! Head up, Moe! Outro Music