The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 86 - Interview with the Campfire
Episode Date: January 17, 2017Following an interrogation of their soused captive Ved, the party must make an important decision on which way to go next. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become a...n official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast, after a botched interrogation,
Who's this Gristlecrack?
I don't know, Mr. Crack. You're Gristlecrack. Don't do crack. Crack kills.
the heroes roll the dice on how to proceed.
You said something about a fortress to the south. Great. You've got two exits to the south.
One to the southeast.
There's two passages to the south, only one to the north. We find out what's in there.
Can we do a survival check to the north?
Clear it out. Doesn't matter. Let's go. But what they find might be shocking.
We don't want any trouble.
Well, you found it.
Come forward.
The adventure continues.
Try and take them alive.
No. hello everyone it's matthew or i guess i should say fourth favorite glass cannon podcast Hello, everyone. It's Matthew.
Or I guess I should say fourth favorite Glass Cannon podcast personality, Matthew.
So, yeah, thanks so much to at Todd1out for putting that survey together so we could find out that really ego boosting information.
No, but seriously, actually, the results are pretty awesome.
So we'll get those up for you guys to look at pretty soon.
They're pretty awesome.
And thanks again to Todd for putting it together. If you've been following us on social media, you've probably seen us post that we're in the process of migrating our RSS feed to a new hosting site.
You don't need to worry about anything just yet.
Just keep doing what you're doing.
But sadly, Squarespace, who we do our website hosting through, limits the episodes to our feed to 100 for absolutely no good reason.
So sometime this month, if you're already subscribed to the pod, it will just automatically change to our new RSS feed for you.
But feel free in the meantime to go to our website and check out our brand new media player for each episode, which contains a link to subscribe directly to our new feed.
Again, don't unsubscribe to the old feed just yet.
We'll let you know when that process,
when that changeover is complete.
And if none of this makes sense to you, just keep doing
what you're doing, and everything should work out
great. Okay, that's it.
Let's get to the episode. Please enjoy
episode 86, Interview
with the Campfire.
I was really excited when
we finished with Red Lake 4, because
Red Lake 4...
I did not even mean
to do that.
We're doing all these sound checks.
You know how you're going to
start the episode.
Sound over, sound over.
I was so
excited.
I forgot what it was called
I was so excited
when we finished
with Red Lake Fort
because I was like
man what a pain in the ass
that was
to prepare
you know
a real true sandbox
I don't know
how are you going to enter
the
the fort
I was hoping you'd like
go through the bear pits
because I'm like
great that's how the book
wants you to do it
you never even went
to the bear pits
so just preparing that you should have never mentioned the sewer grate that was your first mistake through the bear pits because I'm like, great, that's how the book wants you to do it. You never even went to the bear pits.
So just preparing that.
You should have never mentioned the sewer grate.
That was your first mistake.
I blame Calrion.
And I was like,
glad that's over with.
And then Minderhall's Valley
comes up
and it is the biggest sandbox
in all of gaming.
It's such a pain in the ass
as a DM.
When you come into that,
because I'm running
Rise of the Runelords now,
which the three of us
were playing last night.
Matthew and Grammy's pointing to.
And I told them ahead of time,
I was just like,
you guys email each other
and CC me to decide
before we get there
where you want to go
because there's like
seven different branching paths.
So I was like,
give me some inkling
of what to prepare for
before we do this. See, I thought
about doing that. I don't know why
I didn't. I should have just said, you guys, figure it out
over the week and let me know because then it'd be so much easier
on me. Well, you wanted to end on a cliffhanger.
And I wanted to be surprised
too. That's a great
thing for DMs. Like, I don't know what to do.
Well, I'm very well prepared. Especially when
it's being recorded.
I'm very well prepared for whatever you decide, but I wanted to be surprised as well.
You got this guy tied up, spitting at you.
Still only one of you speaks giant.
I'm just working the translation.
He's making these empty threats.
Stormtime, heard that name before.
His pet dragon.
A mighty fortress to the south.
An amassing of hundreds of
giant troops, and
the relighting of a
forge to make giant weapons
to take over the world.
I want to...
I'm assuming we can continue questioning this guy.
Sure. Yeah. So Willamette
would like to talk through
Amlo and say to Umlo,
ask him where they're taking the prisoners for tribute.
There are still those missing from Shinemon's fortune
that we must find.
Prisoners missing from Shinemon's fortune?
I don't know anything about any prisoners.
He knows where they're taking tributes, though.
You know where they're taking tributes.
They discussed taking us as tributes.
They didn't take us.
That's why we're back here! That's why we were
fighting! And it was all their fault
and I'm glad they're dead! Just let me
go! Whose fault?
Their fault! He points at the two dead
veds. Two dead
veds. Their fault! I was a
great fighter! If it was me alone
we would have made it in there but they
made us look like fools.
Are you returning from there?
I think you're returning there.
From there. From the pits?
From the pits. Where are these
pits?
The south pits.
That's what the Ettin
heads mentioned was a pit.
The south or was it the
east?
The west? Definitely the south mentioned was a page how there was the east
there's some time step definitely the
south point the way you came from yeah
he pointed on look I came from you
fella it's just like Oh mask from again
yeah that's a giant giant from you do we
have any uh what we use for oh that's the giant from. Do we have any, what did we use for Omas?
Soothe syrup.
Soothe syrup.
Do you still have
some dose?
Use your consumables.
I want to know.
Lurk took it.
Mr. Gorm's thorn
and the soothe syrup.
That fucker.
God damn it.
And he's just
walking through the forest
all soothed and whatnot.
Well, he mentioned...
Oh, sorry.
Go ahead.
You go ahead.
I was just going to say he mentioned something to the south when he was ranting and raving
about...
Was it they're rebuilding the forge?
The mighty fortress to the south.
To the south.
And they're rebuilding a forge there.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I just didn't know about the forge.
You said something about magical weapons, about giant weapons.
I said a holy forge will be restored and the giants will forge powerful weapons to conquer the world.
I believe that was word for word.
You're a man of your word.
I have a good memory.
And the ability to speak common sense.
Well, this is all understood to be going through UMLO.
Baron wants to know what color the dragon is that is the pet
of the Storm Tyrant.
I've never seen it,
but if I did,
I still wouldn't tell you.
And when it comes down
and the Storm Tyrant
will be riding you down
from the sky
and he'll burn you alive
and kill you all.
He spits blood.
He's got blood bleeding
coming from his nose
into his mouth.
Can Della attempt a diplomacy check through Umlo?
No.
You can aid Umlo.
So Della will suggest to Umlo a...
Course of action.
Umlo has a minus two diplomacy.
This isn't going to work.
Dumlo, more like.
Too soon.
I was going to say, someone should ask him about Gristlecrack.
Yes, that's the other one.
Who's this Gristlecrack?
I don't know, Gristlecrack?
You're Gristlecrack!
Don't do crack!
Crack kills!
I'm going to just slap somebody in the face.
Crack kills.
Pull it together!
Crack is whack!
Alright, this is devolvedolved let's just wrap this up
please let me
just let me go please I haven't hurt you
I haven't done anything
tell him I'm low
tell him we're not going to hurt him
we're not going to hurt you
and I kneel down
I squat and look looking right in his face
hot breath and i say so now i don't i don't i'm no here the dwarf here he tells me that um
he you made uh a bit bit of fun about us calling ourselves giant slayers and that we uh we're not uh we're not ready to uh face this uh storm
tyrant right tell him i'm with him and he's like that's right so well i'll die i did my i my old
dad uh he had a saying he always used to say practice makes. And he does a quick draw of his dagger
and shoots it
right in his throat.
I was like, I didn't get to translate
that last part.
Well, tell him now as he's bleeding out.
His old dad used to say.
Just blood gushing out
all over Nestor's arm.
He stands up, pulls out a dagger,
wipes it on his trousers,
and says, well, that was a dead end.
I was going to suggest that we leave him alive,
but the time for that conversation has passed.
Oh, yes, too late.
Sorry.
Sorry, mate.
It's all right.
He was smote-en by the goddess Iomidae.
At least, where I hit him,
he was in incredible pain
as he was choking on his own blood.
So there's that.
Della is fascinated by that,
by what just happened.
She's really stricken, but also she can't look away.
Judge, jury, and Sony execution.
Baron pulls the chalk out of his pocket he uses to carve things and stuff
and writes Abria on each of their foreheads.
Nice.
For Abria.
For Abria!
For Abria!
They're going to think that there's this mystical creature named Abria
coming to kill all of them.
It's like a goddess that we all follow.
And now, for the first time in the valley, you're here at a campsite. It's the middle goddess that we all follow. And now, for the first time
in the valley,
you're here at a campsite
in the middle of the night
as you guys set out
after needing
a ton of rest
after the Rift Rake fight.
You've got a campsite
already set up.
There's.
If you wanted to use it,
but no one really got
too beat up,
so you could forge on
if you wanted to.
But,
now you have
multiple options.
He said something
about a fortress to the south. Great. You've got two exits to the south. One to the southeast, now you have multiple options. He said something about a fortress to the south.
Great. You've got two exits to the south. One to the
southeast, one to the southwest. And is he
full of shit? And what is this fortress?
And then there's an exit
to the northeast.
Three different options. The stream
that you've been following since you entered
the valley goes down
and continues to the southwest.
It would make
sense if there's a forge that they would need
something to power it. For instance, running
water, so it's possible if we follow the stream
we'll end up at the forge. There's no middle.
Right.
But you need cooling. You need a lot of cooling
for a forge. What about
were they camped right
in the middle of the fork? No, they
were camped blocking the passage to the southwest, which is where the stream goes.
Yeah, I feel like that's where they were coming from.
Right.
Can we do a survival check for tracks to see what type of tracks, where they're headed from, where they're going to?
Okay, that's a 21 on survival.
You see their tracks.
And if it's soft ground or is it hard ground?
Yeah, I mean, there are giant tracks all over the place.
They're all giant tracks and there's animals.
They're bonuses.
Giant tracks, animal tracks going in every which direction.
Now, let me tell you this.
Literally the last time he did a survival check,
you said the exact same thing.
And he said, every time I do a survival check,
the tracks are going every which way.
And you literally said the same exact thing.
Well, it's the case.
So when you guys first came...
Well, part of the skill is differentiating
which tracks were their tracks.
It's not Troy's fault the adventure is written
to have them doing samba lines
the entire time we're not there.
It looks like
they were either
coming from the southeast
or the northeast.
Not the southwest. And there's plenty of giant tracks.
But where the valley began to widen,
it's about, you walked another two miles
until you get to
where these veds were.
Okay.
And that's where you saw them but if you see
if you walk another three miles up or two two and a half miles up you'll go to the the northeast
passage about a mile i'm saying like in the distance you can see where these things oh so
it's not all in the same no but you can see it because you're surrounded by mountains a mile
to the southeast is where that other passage is but you guys are right on top of the passage to the southwest.
Well, metagaming a bit,
I think we should not go for the Storm Tyrant's fortress.
That sounds like a Book 6 thing,
and that isn't where our immediate goal is anyway.
Yeah, and we're probably not powerful enough
to go full frontal assault on a fortress right now.
And Nestor, anyway, he's not, at the moment, he's not interested in going after the Storm Tyrant.
Right.
And also, you have to understand that south could mean 10 miles south or 5,000 miles south.
Right.
Baron, before we choose our way, wants to try to cover himself in the scent of the giants.
Very sticky because you said in the time you weren't listening to me about my
other survival check about the Edden,
I remember you let us know about their different nests of Drake's and there's a
pet dragon and they all have really heightened senses.
And I'd like to disguise ourselves as
people coming for tribute
that might be safe on their way there
to whatever pits they're going to compete in.
Okay.
Even though you don't have the appearance of giants,
you want to at least give off that scent.
I don't think they're looking
because they came out of nowhere.
I think they smelled easy human prey.
That's why I think that drake showed up.
So you're going to coat yourself in their stank
And I invite everyone else to
I don't know
I do not smell good at all
We'll do it
Might as well
Really
It's worth a shot Nesta
We need every advantage we can get
Except one
Infernal healing
Maybe if you all do it, one of us doesn't have to,
because the overwhelming scent will mask mine.
Nestor, you...
Nothing masks your scent, Nestor.
You like to...
I like that. It's good.
He's loosening up a bit.
I don't have a good effect on him.
If you like to sneak up on giants
and slit their
throats and shoot
them with old
jolter, I think
you might have a
bit of an upper
hand with this.
Yeah, but giving
off a very strong
smell is not what
I call sneaking
around anyway.
You turn around
and I'm low as
like grinding
the nail.
Well, there we
go.
There we go.
All right.
It's all settled
down.
I'm already
covered in its
blood.
I mean, I don't know what else I could do. All right. You're all settled down. Umla already smells like it. He's got nails. I'm already covered in its blood. I mean, I don't know what else I could do.
All right.
And Matthew, you're going to play Umla again this week, right?
Yeah.
I think it's good because you guys, it's overwhelming to play two characters, especially at this level.
Do it for two episodes each.
He's not going to last that long anyway.
I just like Matthew's voice the best.
He's got a good Umla.
I'm Umla.
I'm Umla.
I'm Umla.
All right. So what are you guys thinking?
So to the north then.
There's two passages to the south, only one to the north.
We find out what's there,
clear out what's behind us,
and then move for the south.
We don't have a solid lead, so that sounds like a plan.
Can Willamette pray for guidance?
Can Willamette pray for guidance? Sure Willamette pray for guidance? Sure.
Yeah, for all the good it'll do.
You'll get yourself out.
Your God.
I wasn't asking Nestor, just so we're clear-skinned.
That's a voice you hear in your head.
Well, he will say, let me pray on it.
And then he'll pray to Iomadi and ask where,
if she believes there's a certain way we should go.
Alright,
do you...
I don't want you to roll on it.
What do you roll, though? Wisdom?
Wisdom check.
Or diplomacy. Intimidate.
Tell me where they are, damn it!
God! Charisma check?
Yeah, roll a...
It's a paladin's thing.
Yeah, roll a charisma check, but give yourself like a plus two.
It's just an interesting idea.
Eleven.
I mean, I don't...
How is it that every time I look at Grant's d20 hitting the thing,
it has two digits on it?
And every single time I roll under seven.
Hey, Will.
Seems like you should learn how to pray a little bit better.
Don't start off the prayer saying,
I know you're really ugly, but...
That was your mistake. I overheard.
The gods don't always answer you, Nesta.
They do it in their own time and in their own way.
In praying for guidance,
you don't really get a sense of what the right way is,
but you do, whether it be Yomadai or Shailen,
sending you information,
you do sense the presence of ancient religion
in every direction.
Ancient, yeah.
Well, I think this is a roll of the dice, so to speak.
And I know I've got loaded dice,
but I think we should just do what we said originally,
just take the North.
Go to the North.
Doesn't matter.
Lexington, your thoughts.
He doesn't say anything.
The only thing I'm concerned about
is the people from Shinran's Fortune.
Like, do we have any...
We have no lead.
That was the point of asking,
where are they taking tributes, do we know?
And there was no...
If he didn't see it, but they didn't see any...
I mean, I guess they didn't see any.
They said the pits were south, right?
So I imagine they're not taking the tributes to the pits.
That's like a testing ground?
I don't know.
I think that the north might lead us
to the den of the Drake we fought,
which might be cool to fight him, but we've rested two days.
Well, maybe here's a question.
Are the pits where they are?
They having tributes fight in the pits or are they fighting tributes in the pits
or the pits just giant against giant as tests?
Yeah.
Like, yeah, they were.
The children's portion people were taking us tributes to,
from what we could get from the garbled, mistaken, misheard.
To the Tinder Hall.
To the Tinder Hall.
So presumably they would be going towards the forge, right?
Presumably, but it's a big presumption.
I mean, there's a whole lot of gaps in the middle.
I don't think we have enough information to make any kind of informed decision,
so let's just pick a direction at random and go.
North, yeah, north it is.
So you guys decide to head across where this valley widens and go towards the north.
I sense ancient religion this way.
And every way.
Yes, Mr. In Every Way, but please, let's just make it dramatic for a moment.
This way and every way.
The air doesn't smell quite so foul this way.
Always follow your nerves.
Always follow your nerves.
All right.
All right, so off you go.
You guys travel.
Getting across there is at least two miles.
I'm so excited.
I don't know what's going to be at the end.
Me neither. I've got to read it.
You'll take a break
so you can read up on it.
Everybody take a pee break.
Go get a sandwich.
You might want to get a little bit of a head start
on us for this part of the adventure.
Skate, could you give us another
summary of one of Tolkien's essays?
Oh, certainly.
Well, Nester has read them all.
Yeah, Nester's quite the fan.
You guys go across this valley,
and even though that main stream continued southwest,
there are tributaries that are going in every direction,
but the main stream is going southwest.
A little stream goes to the southeast, and a little stream continues up.
So there is a footpath for you to follow.
Okay.
You cross the valley.
It's a good two miles, maybe two and a half, three, and then it goes back to being a passageway.
You travel for another couple miles or so, and it's getting to be twilight
at a certain point.
You mean dawn?
I'm sorry, dawn, yeah.
Because you were fighting it
in the middle of the night.
In the middle of the night, yeah.
So if you took some time in the camp
to check everything out,
question this guy,
get your shit together.
I don't think anybody really needed to heal.
You make your way up there
so now dawn is breaking.
And eventually you see, Baron sees, with his amazing survival skills.
Thank you.
Numerous giant-sized footprints scarring the earth.
And if Baron follows them, it leads to the remains of a large campfire,
them. It leads to the remains of a large campfire, which lies nestled between the
outcroppings of two large boulders.
The valley then, there's no one there that you can see. The valley then splits
directly north and then continues on.
Now you guys are actually moving easterly.
You chose the north path, but it's curved and you're moving easterly. So you've gone, you chose the north path,
but it's curved, and you're going easterly.
But there's also now a passageway that goes farther north.
So it's forked again.
The remains of a campfire.
And they're either making a sojourn that way,
or they're out hunting and foraging,
and they're going to return here.
That's one of the two options, I think,
that make the most sense. I'd like, next to me, I'd like to make a That's one of the two options, I think, that make the most sense.
I'd like Nestor and I to make a quick
perusal of the campground
and see if there's left anything behind.
Sure. Baron will join too.
27.
Perception.
27 perception? 22.
Nestor, you notice
that there's still heat
rising from the ashes of the campfire.
Baron, you feel it as well.
And there seems to be a bunch of stuff in that was burnt.
Not just wood.
He takes his short sword out and kind of digs through it to see...
Just stirring up the smoldering coals. You discover the
cracked, blackened bones
of a medium-sized humanoid.
Huh.
Can someone make a heel
Oh, sorry. No, go ahead.
Make a heel check to see if it's human or
male
female. 20.
20 heel check. Do a carbon-14
dating check on it. In fact, if you
continue looking, you do
as you piece it together, find an
intact human skull and
jaw
within the fire.
Sir Will would like to, as
this is happening, he's going to detect evil
over the area to see if there's any
auras or essences of magical evil
anywhere.
And Will casts his hand, casts his glance,
however he does it, you don't detect any evil within the immediate area.
Do we still have, do we use all of these
and I don't know if it'll even work
when they're burnt like this, speak with dead
scrolls?
I think we had
a couple, right? And we only used one.
Are we able to use that on a skeleton,
or does it have to have a corporeal body around it?
It has to be able to actually speak.
Oh, there's no musculature.
Okay, that makes sense.
Roll a knowledge arcana, those who can.
23.
23.
I speak with that as probably knowledge religion,
but with your knowledge checks, that's fine.
The fact that Baron was able to find
an intact human skull and jaw
is just enough for you to use Speak with Dead.
Baron gets a bottle cap.
Yay!
Finally!
You know what?
Baron gets a bottle cap.
Baron, you get a Tom Exposition bottle cap.
Nice!
Only the finest. Only the finest.
Only the finest.
For only two.
300 gold.
For only two.
300 gold.
We definitely have a scroll.
We have...
The problem is, if you recall,
I believe Willamette has to roll a natural 19 to use it.
I think you had to roll a 19.
I don't know how we figured that out.
Yeah, we had to roll a 19.
We said it was DC 23.
I think it was because we did it as the spell level.
DC 20 plus the spell level.
It's DC 20 plus the caster level.
Which would be probably 5.
So it would be 25.
It would be 5th level cleric
to cast 3rd level spells, I think.
So DC 25 would mean
a natural 20 for Della.
Definitely not worth the bottle cap.
It's not worth the bottle cap.
It's worth my bottle cap.
Even if you can pry this from
my cold dead hands i thought it was like a scroll isn't destroyed uh unless you fail by like a
certain amount that's if um that's this is different because we're using magic device
so it's like you are triggering the spell and if the if you don't succeed then the spell is
not effective but you triggered it okay by trying well at least i mean it's a point of debate but i necessarily puts the skull in his
bag and it's just like let's let's just if if it comes to a point where we we know we can speak to
this thing then we'll do it but otherwise there's no point so let's go i guess the main point is that you find human remains.
Yeah.
That was probably eaten, cooked.
Like, it wasn't just like, well, torture it, burn it.
No, there's no skin.
There's no flesh.
The flesh didn't just burn.
This was a...
Cook fire.
Cook fire.
All right.
All right.
So, otherwise, the campground is clear.
Otherwise, the campground is clear.
Passage to the north.
Passage continuing east.
Dawn breaking.
I say we continue north, Nesta.
That's where our random direction took us.
Let's keep going in that direction.
Once again.
Until we clear it out.
Doesn't matter.
Let's go.
Survival?
Let's see if they followed that way.
Go ahead and roll a survival check.
Fuck.
Eleven. Eleven is enough for you to see that there are that way. Go ahead and roll a survival check. Fuck. 11.
11 is enough for you to see
that there are no tracks going north.
The tracks around the campfire continue eastward.
That might be interesting.
Follow them.
All right.
East it is.
I say we follow these murderers.
Yeah.
All right.
They might have the rest of the...
That's the best motivation for us
because they might have the rest of the captives.
To the east.
Okay, so you're not going to go north.
You're going to continue east
seeing that there are no tracks
going north.
The tracks are just continuing east.
Got to rescue
these Shinnerman's Fortuners.
Thereby driving
the completionist and skin nuts.
The fact that we already left
two forks in that road
is just making skin boil.
He's logging all of them.
What does that map you're drawing, Skin? All right. The fact that we already left two forks in that road is just making skin to skin boil. He's logging all of them mentally.
What does that map you're drawing, Skin?
All right.
Now, you're following tracks from a fresh campfire.
How do you want to proceed?
I'm talking small-scale party order.
I'm talking are people being quiet about it?
I mean, Will is clink, clink, clink, clink, clank everywhere he goes. So just tell me how you're making your approach.
I was thinking about this recently.
I think Will needs to stay in the back more
than in the front.
Because even though he's got the banner and everything,
he's loud.
Nestor and Baron can see tracks.
Nestor can sneak a little bit.
And Will can guard the flank, essentially.
And you have the movement of a magical wolf.
So you can charge
You can charge from the back
So I think Willamette's going to stay in back
Willamette's going to stay in the back
Alright, I put out a map here
I just want to get the sense
Off the map
Where you guys are
So I got Willamette in the back
You guys straight line in it?
Two by two?
Della will stick with Nestor.
That way she can make him vanish.
We only have two horses now.
Two mounts.
Reginald and...
You want Umlo in the back where he's slow and...
No, Umlo should be towards the vanguard
because he needs to move towards Giants.
You want to leave the dwarves together?
Sure.
And then have Della and Nestor up front?
Sure.
All right, so we're going to Della and Nestor up front,
followed by the two dwarves.
And then a little space, about 10 feet of space.
With Clanky McGee.
Yeah, Clanky McGee in the back.
And I'm holding in my hands the giant crossbow loaded.
And I accidentally shoot Della in the butt.
No.
Why?
Are you just poking her every time we walk?
He accidentally...
Ow.
Sorry.
Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Ow.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.... Ow. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Quit it.
Sorry.
Okay.
Now, are you guys moving stealthily?
I mean, obviously not all of you can,
so does Della and Nestor want to scout ahead
and move stealthily?
So have you like maybe 20 feet ahead of them?
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
I can also stealth,
but I guess I'll hang out with Amla.
Okay, because you go for about six miles or so.
Can I do a perception for, is there, so what are we, are we like, is it a tight crevice or crevasse or where are we in?
The valley, even when it thins to just a single passageway, is still fairly wide.
Trees on either side?
Not so much trees, no.
You don't get, there's no space for them to grow, really. So it's rock walls on either side? Rock walls on either side? Not so much trees, no. There's no space for them
to grow, really. So it's rock walls
on either side? Rock walls on either side. There'll be a tree
here and there. I guess
my real question is, should I
be checking for traps along the way?
That's up to you.
It would seem strange
in this situation. But we've run into
traps out in the middle of the woods
before.
That's true.
So that's up to you. I would be doing it.
I would definitely,
Nestor would be doing it.
Okay, yeah,
so you can just kind of roll a...
I'll let Nestor do it.
Yeah, a general Nestor,
just making sure there's not like...
Trip wires on the ground or...
I'll just roll a 36.
Yeah, you don't get the sense
of any traps whatsoever
in the next 100 feet or so.
Right.
Now, both of you roll a stealth.
18.
31.
18 and 31.
Nestor is quiet as a mouse.
But Della, we're moving forward. You're just not as good as Nestor is quiet as a mouse. But Della, moving forward, you're just not as good as Nestor.
Stepping on all the leaves.
He drops your infernal healing wand.
It's an 18.
It's not a 2.
It was so bad.
You started dancing.
It got weird.
Every time she steps on a twig or something, makes a noise, Nestor looks back at her and
he's like,
Are you fucking kidding me?
Just shaking his head.
Baryshnikov, mate.
And she slowly raises another finger.
So you move up ahead.
And Nestor is, like, quiet as a mouse.
This is his thing.
He's super, super quiet.
And Della is trying to emulate Nestor.
Just trying to be like Nestor in more ways than one.
And Nestor is like, don't, don't step.
Don't step there. Don't step. And she steps.
And you
hear up ahead
sounds.
Hello there!
Show yourselves!
In common?
In common. know there show yourselves in common in common we don't want any trouble where
you found it come forward and you can
see up in the distance the valleys is
starting to continue forward and also
splits north again and there's like
vestiges of a camp set up there. It's now like
afternoon.
I'm going to move
forward. Is there any like
cover between me and the source
of this voice? You see
two
weird mossy
trees in front of you
and the one on the right side looks
like you could probably, with your
stealth, get up
to it and not be seen.
Which would leave Della to have to
deal with what's ahead.
Okay, I'm going to make a quick
perception check to make sure it isn't
some kind of
moss monster.
21.
21.
Something isn't right about those trees.
Can I do a knowledge nature?
Sure.
Nope.
Oof.
So I'm going to hang back and hand signal the rest to go forward and I'll wait.
So Della will go with the whole group.
Okay. The nester just turns
around and is like, something's off
with those trees. Watch out for those trees.
There's something not quite right about them.
I'll be back here.
Good luck. That's all you know.
You can roll an H if you want.
Try and figure out...
We'll speak.
I am Sir Willemette Keswick from Highbury.
We are passing through and see some danger up ahead in the form of these trees.
Explain what is happening with these.
Those trees are the least of your concerns.
Move forward and we can talk.
There's no reason for us to move forward.
I can't see you. Can you show yourself, please?
I'd like to know who I'm speaking with before I move forward, as you say.
The name's Gristlecrack.
Oh.
We'll admit, an internal monologue
Oh, fuck
And if you wish to speak with me
Step forward
I'm afraid we won't be doing that, Gristlecrack
Though it is a pleasure to meet you, I must say
We're going to stand here
until we see you.
We can't see anyone. We don't know how many
you've got back there, and we're not going to put ourselves in a
deadly situation.
Understandable.
And... He seems very reasonable.
You see...
Um... Moving forward.
Off in the distance, two trolls.
And behind the trolls, a huge, dusky-skinned giant.
But around the bend, you have to come forward if you want to see more.
I see it looks like two trolls
and yourself. Is that all that's back there?
That's right.
Sense motive.
Yeah, he'll definitely do a sense motive here.
Oh, yeah.
There we go. 21.
22.
20.
21, 22. 20.
21, 22, 20.
Mm-hmm.
And 10 for Del.
She's full of shit.
Yeah.
Oh.
Okay.
About our safety or about being Gristlecrack?
The numbers.
Oh.
The numbers.
Yeah, so Willamette will... She's full of shit.
They have higher numbers back there.
We must not charge in.
We don't know what these trees may do to us.
I'm sorry.
Just give us a moment.
Sheriff.
Make your decision or we will begin to make ours.
They're coming through now, Con.
If you...
This is a shot in the dark and I could be totally wrong
if you don't mind
if you want help against the storm
tyrant and his pet dragon
you're gonna need our help so we
come in good faith and in good
time
help
against
the storm tyrant
please don't be the storm tyrant. Please don't be the storm tyrant.
Oh, this is...
This is too good.
I wish my friends here were more intelligent
so that I could laugh with them.
But unfortunately,
only I will enjoy this joke.
I do not fear the storm tyrant
not the storm tyrant
I worship him
and along with him
we will raise
a mighty army that will take over
all the small folk
now come forward
or the dragon will return
and take you as well
well sense motive on the dragon will return and take you as well.
Well, like any shot in the dark, there was a 20% mischance, and that's what happened.
It is not very wise to not fear those who you worship.
I think that perhaps you've made a mistake.
This storm tyrant, what do you think he thinks of you?
Do you think he thinks you're so valuable?
When he sees me, he will realize my worth.
For I have tiger blood in me.
Mongol though I may be, I am one of the greats And when he sees me
He will raise me to a position of power
Now come forward
So we can continue this conversation
A tiger giant
I have a feeling it's not a conversation
You wish to have
So I'm going to give you an ultimatum
We know you've taken humans
From Shinemon's fortune
And we come seeking them and that is all
You give us those humans and we'll be on our way and we won't be forced to kill you today
If you do not, however
Long as this siege may take
We will take all of you down in the name of Iomadai
Well, I would love to help you with your lost friends from Shinemon's fortune, but I'm afraid you're out of luck.
For we built this fire to signal the Red Dragon who came and took them and brought them to the cathedral as tribute.
Oh, man. This is too bad.
Since we've divested ourselves of our captives, we are in no rush to get to the cathedral.
So instead, we'll just get more tribute.
Try and take them alive!
Kill them if you have to!
Roll for initiative.
Oh!
Well, at least we didn't run in there.
Will is going to say, stay back.
Wow, I am terrible at rolling.
Gristle Crack.
I did not expect this.
I did not either.
It was so confusing with all the notes as to whether Gristle Crack was another name for her,
so I was trying to worship.
Yeah, that was your theory from day one.
And it was wrong.
Yep.
Fool.
You killed us all.
With your reckless diplomacy.
Reckless diplomacy.
You can't negotiate with terrorists, though.
That's what I find.
That's true.
Okay.
La-dee-da-la-la.
Who's over 20 or 30?
25 for Della.
25 for Della.
Okay.
Anybody else over 20?
Interesting.
Not even close.
Good thing you're far away.
Baron's 18.
Baron is 18.
Any 16s or 17s?
Nope. Oh, boy. Oh, Nestor. Sne's 18. Baron is 18. Any 16s or 17s? Nope.
Oh, boy. Oh, Nestor.
Sneak attack.
I know. Sucks. Nestor, what happened?
I thought for sure you'd be training your bow. I was, and
yeah, the dice certainly reflect that.
Umla, what'd you get?
I did it
because I knew he wasn't ready.
Nine. I'm trying to think of what to do.
It's a bad situation.
Anybody lower than nine?
Yeah.
Six for Sir Willow.
Six for Sir Willow.
Eleven for Nestor.
Eleven for...
Is that like a natural two or a natural one?
Natural two.
Oh, Nestor.
Eleven for Nestor.
All right, then.
Round one.
The leader of the pack,
Miss Della Narn.
Plays a harpsichord.
She whips out her harpsichord.
Della will
keen and shock
the scimitar and
cast mirror image on herself.
Ooh.
Multiple Delas.
How many Delas do we see?
1d4 plus 1.
1. No, 2.
So there are three Delas.
There are three Delas.
Two mirror images, one real Della.
Barrett!
By the way, where you're standing right now
Just to give you an idea
Della and Nestor are
10 feet away from the board
Baron and Umlo are 15
We're all together
We waited until the group caught up so we could negotiate together
So you guys are all in a straight line
Nestor is separate
We're all where we are
We're just talking
I'm just saying in terms of getting on to the board yeah okay so you're all like 10 feet away from the
board we'll say uh sir will uh you came up because you said you were hanging back you came up to them
well i mean i i was just talking so i figured i'd talk from where i was you're 10 feet away
uh baron baron's just gonna get right on the board, and he's going to fire his heavy crossbow of giant's bane immediately.
The only enemies he sees right now are the trolls, correct?
Two trolls, yes.
There's a creature behind it that I just haven't put on the board
that you can see.
It towers over both of them.
I'm going to shoot the troll that is to the fork in the road.
All right.
We'll call him Troll 1.
Wow, how creative.
I was up all night thinking of that.
Flat-footed Troll.
Oh, then I'm going to turn on Deadly Aim.
Okay, now how many range increments are you away?
It's within a crossbow.
Oh, it's crossbow. Yeah, okay, great.
13 to hit flat-footed
AC. 13 to hit flat-footed
misses the Troll. Brutal. I 13 to hit flat-footed AC. 13 to hit flat-footed. Misses.
Brutal.
I then...
Throw the crossbow into the river?
I kind of want to, but...
Fuck this thing!
The whole move action!
It takes a full round to load, though, so I can't even reload it.
So I'm going to sheath it.
Sheath it.
That's a move action.
You didn't move, so perfect.
It is now the tree's turn?
What? Yeah.
The tree begins to
change into
a type of troll.
Not the trolls
that you've been dealing with,
but other types of trolls. Those aren't the actual
pawns. They are like covered
in grass and moss,
and they were changed into trees.
They both turn a triole.
Can I just say one thing?
Sure.
We fall for this every time.
We didn't rest.
We didn't rest on purpose.
But Troy was like, Troy even gave us the chance,
and he was like, you probably don't need to rest.
We went right. Yeah, I mean, I used a couple
lay-on hands, but we were, you know,
we're moving forward. We're heroes, Della.
Yeah, you know. We had just rested
like three hours prior.
Alright, you guys are off the board, so we're gonna do some
on-board, off-board map fights.
My favorite!
But we'll say
that this first troll moves five, ten, fifteen, twenty.
Boom.
Up to Baron.
And tries to bite Baron Redheart.
Misses Baron.
It's getting a little clogged up here
And then the other one just starts making its way
5, 10, 15
20, 25
30
What's on our right side here? There's a line all along the right side
That's water
The stream continues along that way
The stream on our right and about 60 feet to the left is a rock wall
Right
The trolls Begin moving forward as well,
but they're cautiously protecting their leader as they move forward.
Oh, God.
You get a better glimpse of what's behind them.
I don't even want to look.
A mongrel giant with taiga blood, if she's not lying.
Dusky gray skin, thick lower jaw with protruding fangs,
and long red hair tied back in a single strand.
I give you Gristlecrack.
Oh, gruesome.
They all have to roll their saves against the arrow.
Right.
Right.
What's the range on that?
Sight?
Yeah, it's sight identification.
Okay.
But it is not Gristlecrack's turn,
but with the trolls moving forward,
you all get a much clearer picture of this monstrosity.
Oh, my God.
Baron just took it out the table.
Threw it out the window.
That is one effective
tactic.
Because you are so much bigger than that pond.
I know.
This pond is so much bigger than our ponds.
It's terrifying to look at.
It's five times the size of our pond.
Nestor
coin.
Alright. I'm going to It's five times the size of our pond. Nestor coin.
All right.
So I'm going to...
Yeah, I'm going to take a five-foot step onto the board. So all of these trolls have moved, right?
All the trolls have moved.
Yeah, all the trolls have moved.
She has moved, but yeah.
I think you're in the water.
No, it's fine.
Okay.
Yeah. All the trolls move. She has to move. I think you're in the water. No. No, it's fine. Okay. I'm going to just take a couple of shots at...
Oh, god damn.
You're allowed.
I'm going to take a couple of shots at this troll.
The one up against Baron?
I'm going to study it.
I'm going to take a couple of shots.
28.
28 is definitely a hit.
Okay.
So the one stepped up to Baron and tried to bite Baron missed.
You've never seen a troll like this.
You guys have fought a handful of trolls at this point.
You fought a flood troll.
You fought a regular troll.
This one is covered in moss.
Four damage.
Four damage.
With what?
With Jolter. Oh, wait. No, sorry. Yeah, okay. That's five. four damage. Four damage. With what? With Joltser.
Oh, wait.
No, sorry.
Yeah, okay.
That's five.
Five damage.
Six damage.
Six damage.
Six damage.
Yeah.
That may still kill Baron.
Uh, okay.
And I missed the second shot.
God fucking damn it.
Missed the second shot.
Okay.
That's not the way to start.
Nestor gets one good shot off, but sums up with that bow.
The initiative, he was slow on the draw, and it is...
It's still fucked up from the fumble.
Right.
Yeah.
I'm still struggling with the alignment.
Amlo.
How far does Amlo have to get to be within 15 feet of the first troll apparently?
If Amlo moves...
It's like five feet.
More than five feet?
Yeah, more than five feet.
Okay, so he'll move up.
Can we roll our saves now?
All right, so anyone within sight of Umlo, right?
Is that how the giant snail scale?
No, it's with any creature of the giant sub-site who comes within 30 feet.
That's what I asked, guys.
All right, so the troll here
has to roll a will save,
right? DC 16.
DC 16. The moss troll
closest to us. Natural 1.
Wow, alright.
So for 4 rounds,
you take a minus 4 to attack.
And saving throws, I believe.
And it's enraged to only
attack you? No, that's Umlo's hand. And it's enraged to only attack you?
No, that's... Oh, that's Amlo's hand.
Did Amlo roll his will save?
No.
Fail.
Ah, so Amlo will only attack this monstral until it or he dies.
Keep it simple.
Yep.
Amlo's rolled to attack.
Okay, here we go.
Isn't that cool?
They can take the shape of trees.
Yeah. Wiga could do that, right? Swampy tree. Yeah, that's go. Isn't that cool? They can take the shape of trees. Yeah, Wiga
could do that, right? Swampy tree. Yeah, that's what Wiga
usually do. Fourteen. Fourteen
misses. No, wait, hatred, right? Stop.
Well,
if that's a giant spay and thing, it should be
a plus two. They have giant
whatchamacallit, yeah.
They have giant subtype. So, 16.
16 hits, he said. Yeah!
Alright. This is a mistake I made with my Dragon's Breath.
Oh, yeah.
I forgot to add the plus two.
But we gave you two attacks.
That's true.
So it all adds up.
19 points of damage.
19 points of damage!
I have a feeling I'm almost going to do well against this vendetta.
All right, that was almost attack.
Sir Willamette?
Still. We tried to be diplomatic, but you Umlo's attack. Sir Willamette? Still.
We tried to be diplomatic, but you've chosen another course.
I'm afraid it's going to result in your demise.
You have elected the way of pain.
Exactly, so Willamette is going to trot Lexington up between Della, Baron, and Umlo,
standing right in front of this troll, and he says,
The power of Yomadai, protect us!
And he holds up his lance and the banner
and he's going to do shared defense
and everyone that's adjacent to him
has plus one to AC and saves
for three rounds as long as you're adjacent to him.
Wow.
So we'll try to hold the pack together.
Very, very interesting.
How do I do that on your own?
It's under, it's Paladin's shared defense.
It's under conferred adjustments.
She just progresses forward.
She doesn't have anything to say?
Nothing to say.
What did you say to her?
I don't recall.
I blacked out.
You had the chance for diplomacy.
You've chosen the way of death.
You've chosen the way of death.
She says something to the effect of
your death.
Okay. You mean your
death. That is a sick burn.
You're the one
that's going to die. Round
two. Della.
You guys are all clumped together in front of this one
moss troll. About 30 feet away
is the other moss troll and then 10 feet behind
him are two trolls
guarding Gristlecrack.
Della is going to
cast Longarm.
Ah. And then
Della will do a knowledge check on the
troll
that came out of a tree. The troll that came out of a tree.
Okay. What is it?
Local? Yep, knowledge local.
19. 19? Okay. okay what is it local yep knowledge local 19 19
okay
what's going on
with your scimitar
right now
flaming shocking
when you
lit it on flame
it went
it showed a little
bit of fear
of fire
in fact
did you just light it on flame now It showed a little bit of fear. Of fire. In fact,
did you just light it on flame now?
No, I think when we were walking, it's always been on fire.
Okay, so when you drew it, it was the first time
it saw it? It is now shaken
by looking at your
on-fire scimitar.
Ah!
And it is now
a Baron's turn.
A Baron's going to take a five foot step immediately
to the left and...
And lose your AC bonus?
Yeah, but I'm going to take an attack of opportunity
if I shoot at him.
You can step back and still be adjacent.
Oh, okay, then I will do that.
Stepping off the board. This is so much fun.
Move the coaster.
I just moved Skid's coaster.
He's going to rapid shot point blank
and say,
I've never seen a troll turn into a tree before,
but I've seen him turn dead.
Natural 20.
Oh my God.
Oh, Baron, come on.
Joe hasn't rolled a natural 20 since 2015.
Roll to confirm.
If it's over five, it's a confirm.
14 against touch.
Touch.
You just confirmed.
So I choose between bludgeoning and piercing.
Double damage.
This is called nailed in place. Double damage and This is called Nailed in Place.
Double damage and target cannot move.
DC 20 strength check negates.
DC 20 strength check.
She shot him right in the foot.
Yeah.
Right in the foot, and it failed its strength check.
Yes.
So Baron shoots it and kills the monstros.
Yeah!
There we go.
One down.
And now the thing falls, and just from Gristlecrack's
view, she sees Sir Willamette
with Baron on his left, Della on his
right, Umlo behind him with the spear
up in the air, and
Nester
just to the side, the banner
flapping in the wind.
Bring it!
As they say.
As they say in Riddleport
Bring it
Everything's too far away for me to really realistically
Hope to hit anything, so I'm just going to end my turn there
End your turn there
It is the next
Moth Troll's turn
He sees Delas fire from afar
He's not close enough for it to shake him
But it's enough for him to be nervous
About going in, so the Moth Troll
Holds his action He delays his action out of fear to shake him, but it's enough for him to be nervous about going in. So the moss troll holds his
action. He delays his action
out of fear. The other
true trolls,
Gristlecrack says,
and spurs on the trolls.
So both the trolls
double move towards you guys.
And roll
a will save. And we'll both
have to roll a will save. And we'll both have to roll a
will save. And so does Umlo, right?
Yeah, Umlo's gonna have to
Well, just roll for the first one that
comes up.
I had a 13 and a
6. Fail and fail.
So they both fail. So that's
minus 4. Wow, that armor is amazing.
That's fucking great. For two rounds.
Thank god Umlo came with us. And two rounds for the second one.
Both, okay.
Awesome.
And Umlo succeeded on his save for the first one
and failed for the second one.
So he's compelled to attack the second troll.
That comes up.
Right.
So that one.
Okay.
So both trolls double move forward,
leaving Gristlecrack back there alone.
And then the moss troll will take its action.
It's actually just going to take its move action
to move back to protect Gristlecrack.
And that's all it does.
So it still has a standard, what do you call it,
a standard action it can take.
It used its move action. So it still has a standard action. It can take it. It used its move action.
So it is Nestor's Toin.
So after cutting down the tree troll,
Nestor loudly whistles with a gap in his teeth
the Lumberjack song from Monty Python
and studies targets on the troll closest to him.
And attacks.
25.
25 is a hit.
12 damage.
12 damage.
Fires again.
Natural 20. Get out of here with Fires again. Natural 20.
Get out of here with those quits!
Natural 20.
Yeah, that's a confirm.
Oh.
Let's hear that critical threat.
Yeah.
It's been a minute.
Here we go.
Critical threat.
There we go.
There it is.
Critical.
Critical.
Critical threat.
Okay.
Wow.
All right.
So Nestor, first one hits.
Second one quits.
Okay. In. All right, so Nestor, first one hits. Second one quits! Okay.
In a row, double damage to target
and normal damage to adjacent target.
There isn't one.
Shoot.
It's still double damage, which is nice.
Which is triple damage for the arrow.
Oh, right.
Oh, the bows...
Times three.
Times three.
Oh, my God.
And I... You want a D8? Yeah, give me a D. Times three. Oh, my God. And I...
You want a D8?
Yeah, give me a D8, please.
One, two...
And shocking damage?
Yep.
Oh, boy.
This is a good crit.
Joe's pumping his fist over there.
I'm nervous.
I'm nervous.
31 damage.
31 damage!
Yeah.
Oh, boy. All right. That arrow! Oh boy.
That arrow hit the mark.
That was two attacks.
Do you get a third one? Yes. No, that was...
Okay, so Mr. just
boom hits and then hits it right
inches away from its heart.
31 points of damage on the second attack.
It is now
Umlo's turn. So Umlo has to
step up and attack
Is he within range of it?
I can't remember
He was within range of the last troll
But basically
No now he has to move
He doesn't have to move
I mean
Well yeah he does
Sorry
He can take a five foot step
Five foot step
Two attacks
Okay so Umlo
Five foot step
Puts him right
There
First attack
Seventeen to hit
Seventeen Hits Sixteen points of damage First attack 17 to hit 17
Hits
16 points of damage
14 points of damage
Okay
14 points of damage
From Umlo
Second attack
16 to hit
16 hits
14 points of damage
And his first troll
Is dead
Matthew you are always
Playing Umlo from now on
I am never touching that again.
I am Umlo.
One moss troll down.
One regular troll down.
That troll is down.
Right, but not out.
Not out.
How much damage was that second one?
14.
Scimitar, Della.
Points of damage.
The one that's up.
Yeah, Scimitar.
They both will have regeneration.
The one that's down can come back up.
You hit it once, it's down, down.
Done, done.
Do the one that's down first.
All right.
Just let Della do Della.
It is Sir Will's turn.
Sir Will's going to say, still feeling confident, and he's going to do Della. It is Sir Will's turn. Sir Will is going to say,
still feeling confident,
and he's going to do total defense.
And just kind of still stand there with his allies.
Nice.
Yeah, and that actually... He's going to hold up his shield.
That first troll, the moss troll,
is laying on the ground as well.
Yeah, so...
Yeah, there's a lot of trolls here.
That makes things a little bit more difficult
when they all have regeneration. You don't have burning hands, do you? I do, but that's what I'm doing. So, so. Yeah, there's a lot of trolls here. That makes things a little bit more difficult when they all have regeneration.
You don't have burning hands, do you?
I do, but that's what I'm doing.
So, yeah, both trolls, a moss troll and a regular troll down, but you guys know they
have regeneration.
Sir Will, what'd you do?
I did total defense because I'm trying to keep, I'm just trying to stay in the center
of the whole party, the ranged characters, give them defense, and then I'm going to do
total defense on myself.
Okay, and you're not stepping onto
the board. Correct. Okay.
It's plus one AC to us?
From your adjacent team? Yeah, plus one to
AC, CMD, and saves. Okay.
Alright, um...
Gristlecrack grabs a boulder.
Oh, mother... Puss bucket.
Boom!
Flings it at Umlo and Nestor up front
there. The only two players brave
enough to step onto the board.
Yeah, I said it.
I guess I'll roll twice.
Misses Umlo
and misses
Nestor. Yeah! Alright!
And then she moves up, realizing
that her forces aren't as strong
as she thought they were.
She begins moving up.
Or perhaps we're stronger than she thought we were.
Perhaps that's what's happening here.
All right, so Gristlecrack moves up.
Round three!
Della.
Five foot...
Oh, no, she can do it from here.
She's going to stick her hand in between, over the top of Umlo
and in between Lexington
and burning hands of two trolls on the ground.
All right, burning hands of two trolls
on the ground. They're unconscious, so they
don't get a reflex.
Okay. Perfect.
It's enough damage.
Well, no, it's...
It's a ranged touch.
It stops their regeneration.
It's not a ranged touch.
They're automatically dead.
So they're dead.
If they're unconscious, then that's it.
Right.
Well, they'll keep bleeding out unless they're stabilized by someone else.
Unless Gristlecrack is a cleric.
Right.
So Della takes her turn, hits them both, kills them both.
Nice.
No longer regenerating.
Nice.
Two trolls down, two trolls, and a mongrel taiga giant to go.
Baron.
Baron will take...
I guess I'll take a five-foot step
and hold his action onto the board.
Am I still next to...
Five-foot step in front of...
Yeah, you're still adjacent to...
So I just want to hold my action
until someone gets within 20 feet,
and if they get within 20 feet,
I'm going to shoot them.
It's amazing how you guys have played this,
because obviously no one wants to go
anywhere near the giant.
I didn't even look.
She probably has 15, maybe 20 feet reach.
And there are two...
Who is it?
Della and Sir Will are off the board,
and Baron, Umlo, and Nestor
are on the first squares of my little puzzle.
Literally, they're wedged between the coaster and the edge of the hill.
I knew that we would have a serious
advantage here because if they wanted to fall back
and play super defensive,
our strength is our ranged characters.
So we could just keep shooting into them all day.
But she also...
We're basically a bowling alley
for her now, though, with boulders.
Yeah, sure.
But we all have bonuses to defense.
Most we can do.
It is going to be Baron's turn.
It's better than getting hit with that hammer. You took a five-foot step and then...
And then I'm waiting.
My held action is if someone gets within 20 feet, I will shoot at them.
So you're readying an action.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Baron readies within 20 feet.
The trolls are within 20 feet?
Not yet.
All right.
One of my trolls is now dead.
The other troll yet lives.
That troll really wants to do multiple attacks so it can rend, but it doesn't.
So this troll is going to move the full complement of its movement.
Ooh, shot on the way in.
Boom.
And provokes from Umlo.
And a stab on the way in.
Provokes from Umlo.
Stab from who? Provokes. From Umlo. Oh, from Umlo. And a stab on the way in. Provokes from Umlo. Stab from who?
Provokes.
From Umlo.
Oh, from Umlo.
And activates Baron.
And activates Baron.
Okay, so two attacks.
No, one attack.
You can only do one attack.
Yeah.
Okay.
Can't ready a full attack.
One attack.
Ooh, that's...
Ooh!
30 to hit.
That is a hit.
Nice. That is 16 points of That is 16 points of damage.
16 points of damage.
What about Umlo?
13.
14 to hit.
No.
16 to hit.
You sure?
Yeah.
That's it.
Yeah.
13, 4, 16.
Umlo, are you wearing hockey pads?
I'm wearing hockey pads.
I was wondering.
I was wondering.
17 points of damage.
17 points of damage.
Nice.
Excuse me, Nestor, are those Bugle Boy jeans?
They're bad idea jeans.
The creature here...
Does that provoke two, just one, right?
Because it steps into his range and steps closer
this one will go to bite
the gunslinger
with his magic handbanger
natty 19
it's going to be a total of 27
for the bite
just hits
oh man
8 points of damage
bites you
and it is now the other moss troll's turn that other moss troll Oh, man. Eight points of damage. Gah! Bites you.
And it is now the other moss troll's turn.
That other moss troll just steps up in front of Gristlecrack.
And it is Nestor's time.
All right, I will study this now closer troll.
And deadly aim, take a couple of shots at it.
Hopefully take it down.
21 to hits.
21 to hit the troll.
Hits.
And with the old jolter, that will be 19 damage.
19 points of damage.
Man, do I love Hero Lab.
Walking around here with my iPad Like an adult And 24 to hit
With his second attack
Nice
And that will be
Another 16 points of damage
16 points of damage
Alright
It is still alive
And it is in front of the party
But for how long
For how long as Gristlecrack
edges ever closer
to this bowling pin of
pea seeds? Umlo!
Umlo is
he's gonna step
back within range and provoke, I believe.
Stepping
back. Because he has to get two spaces away
to hit with the spear. Okay. Yeah, so
he's gonna provoke and he's gonna have to go past you. Yeah, so he's going to provoke, and he's going to have to
go past you to hit.
So there's going to be a bonus to its AC.
Can he step to the side?
No, there's nowhere he can... All of our
characters are between him and the troll, basically.
Yeah. Provoked and missed
on the attack of opportunity. Okay. So you get a stab
and plus two to AC.
One attack as you move ten feet, right?
Yeah.
Minus four, did you say?
No, no subtraction for you.
Don't worry about it.
Miss.
Oh, I'm...
Damn.
I just see him weaving in and out of battle with this thing.
All right, and it is Sir Will's turn.
Sir Will has been all about defense.
Yep, Sir Will is going to take a five-foot step
between Della and the troll directly in front of it.
Oh, onto the board.
Welcome, Sir Will.
Onto the board.
He's going to say, throw trolls at us all day.
We can keep this up well into the evening.
And I'll do total defense.
Total defense.
All right, Sir Will steps up.
After facing the rift rake and seeing his own live flesh before his eyes, he's all about protecting it.
It is Gristlecrack's turn.
Gristlecrack. Oh. Gristlecrack.
Oh, Gristle, what do you want to do?
Gristlecrack is going to move.
Why don't you throw another boulder?
Shut up, Nestor.
We're better off.
She can do bad all by herself.
Just out of reach.
I mean, she is like one more step and she's within reach because she has 15 feet reach.
So Gristlecrack just moves up and she's got fire in her eyes.
She doesn't look phased at all.
Yeah, we have...
Confident that she can kill all of you.
We have yet to touch her.
And it is
round four.
Della.
Della is going to cast
True Strike. Della casts
True Strike. Okay.
Alright, Della.
Della casts True Strike. Baron.
Baron's going to take
five foot step back to still be adjacent.
Off the map adjacent off the map
off the map
that leaves
Sir Will and Nestor
as the true heroes
Sir Will is alone
in front of the troll
and he's gonna
fire
fire
when ready
I think that's gonna provoke
from the troll
yep
he's got ten foot reach
oh I didn't realize that
so I could have just
stayed there
and well whatever
it's up to you
you can stay there or move on.
No, I'll move back.
All right.
It goes to bite.
18 misses.
You're in six.
You don't have to worry about these trolls.
That is a hit.
That's a 19 against touch AC.
19 hits.
That is 14 damage.
14 damage.
And you get a grit point back because it is in the negative.
Nice. Nice. Nice. So you're saying I can take four out of three grit points? damage 14 damage and you get a grip point back because it is in the negative nice nice nice so
you're saying i can take four out of three grip points i can have one more than i actually have
that'd be great thanks i appreciate that i take it back i take everything back um all right uh
baron you have any shots left yeah i could take a shot how far away she's about 40 feet away 50
feet away uh 5 10 15, 15, 20, 25.
So just one range increment out.
So this is going to be a negative 2 to my second attack.
And you're going to have to take some cover, basically.
He's going to get a bonus because of Willamette.
Because she's so big.
But I can still...
Oh, I can't.
It's just a small AC bonus.
All right, whatever.
Doesn't matter.
That is a
16 against regular AC,
which is not going to hit him. That one misses
and she laughs. She catches the bullet.
Needs it.
Alright.
The troll
on the ground
regenerates some HP
and wakes up.
Oh, I should have shot it again.
Wait, was that the right troll? Let me just make sure.
It was the right troll. Might have been the wrong troll.
I've got a lot of trolls I'm controlling. Actually, no.
It regenerates
and still stays down.
Because Baron took it
so far down. So far.
And it is
the Mountain Troll's
turn. Mountain Troll's turn.
Mountain Troll, you guys are eating these for breakfast, and it's afraid of fire.
What's it going to do?
All right, the Mountain Troll is going to charge.
I can't charge because of the body of the... Did Gristlecrack roll her save, by the way?
She didn't.
She's within 30 feet now.
5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30.
I guess she is within 30 feet of Umlo.
No, Umlo's just out of range
because Umlo had to move back 10 feet off the board.
If you play it on the board,
it would make it a lot easier, Matthew.
The board would.
All right, so it's going to be...
What am I saying?
Who's turn is it?
The troll.
All right, the troll can't charge
because the body of that other troll is there.
So it is just going to double move,
and I know it'll have enough room to get
over here
it'll first have to roll its save
it'll have to roll its save
and it will probably fail
in it
did I miss Gristlecrack's roll?
she's not in range
so yeah
failed its will save
the moss troll going to be useless.
Three rounds.
Oh, yeah.
And Umlo made his save so he can attack whoever he wants.
All right, and the moss troll will just try to bite Baron.
90-19, but that's still only going to be a 22.
Move.
Nice.
Only a 20 is going to hit Baron with a bite,
and it is Nestor's turn.
Gristlecrack getting closer.
Right now, Gristlecrack is 30 feet from the edge of the board. I'm going to take...
I wonder if we should rearrange the map so we can...
But I'm going to take a five-foot step.
We could just push everybody forward.
Yeah, we could.
Probably.
But anyway, I'll take a five-foot step off.
Study old lady Gristlecrack
and take a couple of shots at her.
That's a
30 to hit. 30 to hit
Gristlecrack hits.
First hit on old Gristle.
16 damage. 16 damage on Gristle.
And for the second attack, natural
20. Oh my god.
Two crits.
Probably won't confirm. It's your boy. Nest to nest.
No, does not confirm.
Max damage.
Yes, max damage.
So that's eight, that's 16.
So that's 22 damage.
22.
Nester.
Yeah.
You figured out the bow.
You figured out what was wrong with it.
Now I see.
A little adjustment.
I'm all right.
And it is Umlo's turn.
Umlo.
Umlo's going to move up and attack Gristlecrack.
This is what Umlo does.
Roll your save.
Let me ask you, does this scale mail function as an enchantment or illusion spell?
It functions as a gaze effect.
A mind affecting fear effect.
So it's not enchantment or illusion.
It's fear.
Lose your illusion, man. Guns and roses.
Forever. So she will roll
and 17 will save.
Saves.
And Amlo fails.
So he is stuck.
He's not leaving. He Amlo fails. So he is... He's not leaving.
He's stuck in.
And has to attack Gristlecrack every single round.
Until either he or her
dies. So he gets within range to do
one juicy attack.
Make it a crit. Natural.
Damn it, Matthew.
I started you off there.
20. Miss.
Natural 20?
Natural 20? No.
Natural 20?
You know what?
And he'll say,
You giants are all the same.
I'm not wearing hockey pants.
Die.
My trolls are hungry.
I thought I had misplaced it.
It was just hidden.
I haven't been rolling my
neon green d20 the entire session.
Well, probably I rubbed it on
Joe, so it's not going to have the
same power. I put it in the dishwasher.
Joe actually swallowed it and has passed it through
himself since last time.
Sir Will.
I think it is time. Sir Willamette
is going to lower the lance. As it's coming down
he points it right at Gristlecrack and says,
I smite thee, villain of Minderhall's Valley.
And for Highbury!
For Highbury!
For Highbury!
He's going to charge past her.
Yeah, you have it.
Okay, roll to hit.
He's got it.
And so move me 70 feet.
So put me, you know, well, just put me well out of her range.
Okay.
Two hit.
Natty 20!
You're out of here!
Out of here!
Oh, man.
Well, hey, even if you don't confirm, it's crazy damage.
That's max damage?
Yeah.
Unconfirmed 20s.
It's going to be a tough confirm.
What's your two hit right now?
Plus 17.
Oh, this could be an easy confirm.
I could maybe crit.
You could fucking do it.
Will could maybe crit.
Natural fucking four.
Max damage.
21.
Oh, my God.
You just missed it.
18, 22.
Well, that's still great.
All right.
So max damage.
Yeah.
So it's 33 points of damage.
Oh, my God. Nice. of damage. Oh my god!
Alright, so that crit would have been nice.
Holy shit, you guys fucked up Gristlecrack.
Yeah, man.
And now it's Gristlecrack's turn.
And she don't care.
Hey, that's my joke.
Oh, boy.
Umlo.
Umlo is within...
She can take a five-foot step
and do two attacks on Umlo.
She's where she needs to be.
Yeah.
Because he was 15 feet away to hit her.
Yeah, they're both, like,
standing at range from each other,
just poking.
Like broadships trading.
Yeah, that 70 feet got you just out of range.
I knew it!
I was sitting here doing the math.
I even moved your piece.
I'm not going to lie.
This is very bad for Rumble.
First attack.
All that con damage.
Oh, still.
Plus four, though.
Plus four, though.
First attack.
Plus five to your total AC.
I'm not...
All right, plus four.
Yeah, that ended.
The shared defense is over, so that's why he charged.
24 to hit.
I'm low.
Just hits.
That's why you got to use combat expertise I'm low. Just hits. That's why you gotta use combat expertise.
19 damage.
Second slam.
Second slam.
It was like sitting on a six.
Went to an even better number.
30 to hit.
20 points of damage.
I'm low is unconscious.
And dying if you're following along at home.
Gristlecrack.
One rounded Umlo.
And it is
round five.
Della Narn.
Della
is going to step up
within 20 feet
of Gristlecrack
and cast Blade Lash
with the effects
of True Strike still on.
Oh!
What kind of spell is Blade Lash? It's the one that
trips, right? It's the one that trips. It's not gonna
It shouldn't have to be spell wisdom
since I'm just casting it on the weapon. No, I'm asking
you what kind of spell it is. Like, what
school. Transmutation.
You're good. Okay.
So this is a plus
38 to my roll. Oh yeah, there's
True Strike. Blade Lash.
Oh, my God.
Natural 16.
That's a hit.
She falls.
She's tripped.
So wait, that's just, if it hits, it trips?
It's against AC or is it against CMD?
CMD.
Oh, okay.
Give me the total number.
So it's 16 plus 38, so 54.
16 plus 38.
Fizzy cast, true strike.
True strike plus the bonus from Blade Lash plus my attack bonus.
Crystal Crack falls.
Yeah!
Boom!
Crystal Crack is down!
Oh, grounds, James.
Oh, my God.
The water in the stream splashes up.
Baron, you're up.
Baron is, I guess, going to have to take care of this troll that's still up. Baron, you're up. Baron is I guess going to have to take care of this troll that's
still up. He doesn't have any way of
outside of switching weapons, stopping
their regeneration.
So he's going to take a
five foot step back and shoot
at the troll.
Shoot at the troll.
The troll that's still up and
able to attack. Okay, the moss troll.
Yep. So this is...
A hit.
Nice.
With 16 points of damage.
Nice.
First time this moss troll was hit.
Second attack, up close and deadly.
I don't think I realized that.
Second attack, up close and deadly.
Up close and deadly.
Ooh, that's a miss.
I think that might be a misfire.
Oh, no, Baron!
Baron, no!
God.
Misfire is one to two, but I have pistol training, which misfire...
No, it's not a misfire.
Okay, good.
So I miss.
Unless a ten against touch AC hits.
It's just a miss.
That is a big old miss.
Okay, and now, finally, it's my troll's turn.
Let's see if this guy is going to wake up from the regeneration.
Nope.
He was so far into the negative, but he's slowly getting back into the positive.
Slowly getting back into the positive.
Wounds knitting together.
And then the...
As he lies on the ground.
Moss troll.
Five foot steps up to Baron.
And full a-schmacks him.
Full attack.
Clock log bite.
Let's do the bite first.
Bite.
Ten.
Miss.
These are all going to miss unless I hit a natural 20.
Miss.
And miss!
Nice.
It's useless against you.
What makes them so hard is the regeneration.
It takes Della out one round to have to do that Burning Hands.
Yeah, yeah.
And as you can see, Della is incredibly effective.
Effective.
Nestor.
I can't believe Gristlecrack is on the ground.
It's going to get a bonus to ranged AC.
Yeah, plus four?
Plus four, yep.
So,
okay.
Nestor's going to take his first
shot against Gristlecrack.
21.
Miss.
Miss the crack.
He's going to take his second attack
against the regenerating troll
On the ground
And hits
Nice move
Very very nice move
It's just very smart play
24 damage
And stay down
24 damage
And Mike a DC 16
Fortitude save Oh yeah get sick at dc 16 fortitude site oh yeah get sick
and baby dc 16 fortitude
save it isn't below its
con it's way below its
con it's dead it doesn't
work that even below its
con it regenerates yeah
it still regenerates i
found this out recently
even if like even just a
shred because it works
differently than fast
healing yeah just a
shred of flesh of a
troll if it's not been
burned or acid
burned, will regenerate over time.
Wow, I thought it worked like fast healing.
You guys got away with one with the Orm Oryx fight.
Alright, so, I'm sorry, Skip, what was it?
Will save? Well, I mean
if it's completely unconscious, then it doesn't matter.
Well, I rolled a natural one.
Well, then actually for
it is
sickened, well, for one round. It's going to take five rounds for it to, excuse me, six rounds for it It is sickened...
Well, for one round.
It's going to take six rounds for it to even be conscious again.
Unless the Lost Troll pours
Cure Serious Wounds down its throat.
Right, right, right.
As a full round action.
It administers the potion to the Lost Troll.
Umla.
Umla's going to roll stabilize.
Umla rolls to stabilize.
Gets it. He stabilizes it.
How far is he under? Just three.
Okay, so 13. Easy
stabilization check. Does that reset
his enchantment should he come conscious
again? Or is he still locked
into the death with Gristlecrab?
He's locked into the death. He fights to the death.
To the pain!
Sir Will! Sir Will.
Sir Will wheels his mount,
turns towards the fallen giant,
points the lance at her head. Oh, my God.
Yeah.
On the ground.
Oh, my God.
Which is perfect for him.
Yeah.
Because now he's gonna get a higher ground bonus.
Right.
And she has minus four to her AC.
Yeah.
Ridiculous.
And he's going to charge, not ride by attack,
but straight at her, because she can't do an attack of opportunity, and end right four to her AC. Yeah. Ridiculous. And he's going to charge, not ride by attack, but straight at her
because she can't do
an attack of opportunity
and end right next to her
and try to get the spear
right in her head.
Love it.
Love it.
Oh, and he's also going to
activate his Cavalier's Challenge
for the day.
Please don't kill Grissom Clack.
Please don't kill Grissom Clack.
Yeah, so he's,
yep, he just wheels around
and is like,
you stay away from my friends!
For Highbury!
Natty 17.
That's gonna be a hit.
Oh my god.
And then, uh,
he does...
Whoa!
Oh shit!
He does 39 points of damage.
Oh wow! You killed Grizzlecrab!
There's no point in continuing the troll fight.
And you know what?
You're all level 8!
We'll see you next week!
Yeah!
We win!
We win!
We win!
We win!
We win!
We win!
I hate Highbury! I'm'm gonna burn it to the ground
That was a CR10 encounter
Damn it
Have you Highbury Outro Music