The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 86 - Interview with the Campfire

Episode Date: January 17, 2017

Following an interrogation of their soused captive Ved, the party must make an important decision on which way to go next. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become a...n official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast, after a botched interrogation, Who's this Gristlecrack? I don't know, Mr. Crack. You're Gristlecrack. Don't do crack. Crack kills. the heroes roll the dice on how to proceed. You said something about a fortress to the south. Great. You've got two exits to the south. One to the southeast. There's two passages to the south, only one to the north. We find out what's in there. Can we do a survival check to the north?
Starting point is 00:00:24 Clear it out. Doesn't matter. Let's go. But what they find might be shocking. We don't want any trouble. Well, you found it. Come forward. The adventure continues. Try and take them alive. No. hello everyone it's matthew or i guess i should say fourth favorite glass cannon podcast Hello, everyone. It's Matthew. Or I guess I should say fourth favorite Glass Cannon podcast personality, Matthew.
Starting point is 00:01:19 So, yeah, thanks so much to at Todd1out for putting that survey together so we could find out that really ego boosting information. No, but seriously, actually, the results are pretty awesome. So we'll get those up for you guys to look at pretty soon. They're pretty awesome. And thanks again to Todd for putting it together. If you've been following us on social media, you've probably seen us post that we're in the process of migrating our RSS feed to a new hosting site. You don't need to worry about anything just yet. Just keep doing what you're doing. But sadly, Squarespace, who we do our website hosting through, limits the episodes to our feed to 100 for absolutely no good reason.
Starting point is 00:01:49 So sometime this month, if you're already subscribed to the pod, it will just automatically change to our new RSS feed for you. But feel free in the meantime to go to our website and check out our brand new media player for each episode, which contains a link to subscribe directly to our new feed. Again, don't unsubscribe to the old feed just yet. We'll let you know when that process, when that changeover is complete. And if none of this makes sense to you, just keep doing what you're doing, and everything should work out great. Okay, that's it.
Starting point is 00:02:17 Let's get to the episode. Please enjoy episode 86, Interview with the Campfire. I was really excited when we finished with Red Lake 4, because Red Lake 4... I did not even mean to do that.
Starting point is 00:02:34 We're doing all these sound checks. You know how you're going to start the episode. Sound over, sound over. I was so excited. I forgot what it was called I was so excited
Starting point is 00:02:47 when we finished with Red Lake Fort because I was like man what a pain in the ass that was to prepare you know a real true sandbox
Starting point is 00:02:55 I don't know how are you going to enter the the fort I was hoping you'd like go through the bear pits because I'm like great that's how the book
Starting point is 00:03:02 wants you to do it you never even went to the bear pits so just preparing that you should have never mentioned the sewer grate that was your first mistake through the bear pits because I'm like, great, that's how the book wants you to do it. You never even went to the bear pits. So just preparing that. You should have never mentioned the sewer grate. That was your first mistake. I blame Calrion.
Starting point is 00:03:11 And I was like, glad that's over with. And then Minderhall's Valley comes up and it is the biggest sandbox in all of gaming. It's such a pain in the ass as a DM.
Starting point is 00:03:21 When you come into that, because I'm running Rise of the Runelords now, which the three of us were playing last night. Matthew and Grammy's pointing to. And I told them ahead of time, I was just like,
Starting point is 00:03:32 you guys email each other and CC me to decide before we get there where you want to go because there's like seven different branching paths. So I was like, give me some inkling
Starting point is 00:03:43 of what to prepare for before we do this. See, I thought about doing that. I don't know why I didn't. I should have just said, you guys, figure it out over the week and let me know because then it'd be so much easier on me. Well, you wanted to end on a cliffhanger. And I wanted to be surprised too. That's a great
Starting point is 00:03:58 thing for DMs. Like, I don't know what to do. Well, I'm very well prepared. Especially when it's being recorded. I'm very well prepared for whatever you decide, but I wanted to be surprised as well. You got this guy tied up, spitting at you. Still only one of you speaks giant. I'm just working the translation. He's making these empty threats.
Starting point is 00:04:19 Stormtime, heard that name before. His pet dragon. A mighty fortress to the south. An amassing of hundreds of giant troops, and the relighting of a forge to make giant weapons to take over the world.
Starting point is 00:04:35 I want to... I'm assuming we can continue questioning this guy. Sure. Yeah. So Willamette would like to talk through Amlo and say to Umlo, ask him where they're taking the prisoners for tribute. There are still those missing from Shinemon's fortune that we must find.
Starting point is 00:04:52 Prisoners missing from Shinemon's fortune? I don't know anything about any prisoners. He knows where they're taking tributes, though. You know where they're taking tributes. They discussed taking us as tributes. They didn't take us. That's why we're back here! That's why we were fighting! And it was all their fault
Starting point is 00:05:09 and I'm glad they're dead! Just let me go! Whose fault? Their fault! He points at the two dead veds. Two dead veds. Their fault! I was a great fighter! If it was me alone we would have made it in there but they made us look like fools.
Starting point is 00:05:25 Are you returning from there? I think you're returning there. From there. From the pits? From the pits. Where are these pits? The south pits. That's what the Ettin heads mentioned was a pit.
Starting point is 00:05:41 The south or was it the east? The west? Definitely the south mentioned was a page how there was the east there's some time step definitely the south point the way you came from yeah he pointed on look I came from you fella it's just like Oh mask from again yeah that's a giant giant from you do we
Starting point is 00:06:03 have any uh what we use for oh that's the giant from. Do we have any, what did we use for Omas? Soothe syrup. Soothe syrup. Do you still have some dose? Use your consumables. I want to know. Lurk took it.
Starting point is 00:06:13 Mr. Gorm's thorn and the soothe syrup. That fucker. God damn it. And he's just walking through the forest all soothed and whatnot. Well, he mentioned...
Starting point is 00:06:25 Oh, sorry. Go ahead. You go ahead. I was just going to say he mentioned something to the south when he was ranting and raving about... Was it they're rebuilding the forge? The mighty fortress to the south. To the south.
Starting point is 00:06:36 And they're rebuilding a forge there. Yeah. I don't know. I just didn't know about the forge. You said something about magical weapons, about giant weapons. I said a holy forge will be restored and the giants will forge powerful weapons to conquer the world. I believe that was word for word. You're a man of your word.
Starting point is 00:06:54 I have a good memory. And the ability to speak common sense. Well, this is all understood to be going through UMLO. Baron wants to know what color the dragon is that is the pet of the Storm Tyrant. I've never seen it, but if I did, I still wouldn't tell you.
Starting point is 00:07:11 And when it comes down and the Storm Tyrant will be riding you down from the sky and he'll burn you alive and kill you all. He spits blood. He's got blood bleeding
Starting point is 00:07:24 coming from his nose into his mouth. Can Della attempt a diplomacy check through Umlo? No. You can aid Umlo. So Della will suggest to Umlo a... Course of action. Umlo has a minus two diplomacy.
Starting point is 00:07:40 This isn't going to work. Dumlo, more like. Too soon. I was going to say, someone should ask him about Gristlecrack. Yes, that's the other one. Who's this Gristlecrack? I don't know, Gristlecrack? You're Gristlecrack!
Starting point is 00:07:54 Don't do crack! Crack kills! I'm going to just slap somebody in the face. Crack kills. Pull it together! Crack is whack! Alright, this is devolvedolved let's just wrap this up please let me
Starting point is 00:08:11 just let me go please I haven't hurt you I haven't done anything tell him I'm low tell him we're not going to hurt him we're not going to hurt you and I kneel down I squat and look looking right in his face hot breath and i say so now i don't i don't i'm no here the dwarf here he tells me that um
Starting point is 00:08:35 he you made uh a bit bit of fun about us calling ourselves giant slayers and that we uh we're not uh we're not ready to uh face this uh storm tyrant right tell him i'm with him and he's like that's right so well i'll die i did my i my old dad uh he had a saying he always used to say practice makes. And he does a quick draw of his dagger and shoots it right in his throat. I was like, I didn't get to translate that last part. Well, tell him now as he's bleeding out.
Starting point is 00:09:15 His old dad used to say. Just blood gushing out all over Nestor's arm. He stands up, pulls out a dagger, wipes it on his trousers, and says, well, that was a dead end. I was going to suggest that we leave him alive, but the time for that conversation has passed.
Starting point is 00:09:35 Oh, yes, too late. Sorry. Sorry, mate. It's all right. He was smote-en by the goddess Iomidae. At least, where I hit him, he was in incredible pain as he was choking on his own blood.
Starting point is 00:09:49 So there's that. Della is fascinated by that, by what just happened. She's really stricken, but also she can't look away. Judge, jury, and Sony execution. Baron pulls the chalk out of his pocket he uses to carve things and stuff and writes Abria on each of their foreheads. Nice.
Starting point is 00:10:13 For Abria. For Abria! For Abria! They're going to think that there's this mystical creature named Abria coming to kill all of them. It's like a goddess that we all follow. And now, for the first time in the valley, you're here at a campsite. It's the middle goddess that we all follow. And now, for the first time in the valley,
Starting point is 00:10:25 you're here at a campsite in the middle of the night as you guys set out after needing a ton of rest after the Rift Rake fight. You've got a campsite already set up.
Starting point is 00:10:33 There's. If you wanted to use it, but no one really got too beat up, so you could forge on if you wanted to. But, now you have
Starting point is 00:10:41 multiple options. He said something about a fortress to the south. Great. You've got two exits to the south. One to the southeast, now you have multiple options. He said something about a fortress to the south. Great. You've got two exits to the south. One to the southeast, one to the southwest. And is he full of shit? And what is this fortress? And then there's an exit to the northeast.
Starting point is 00:10:56 Three different options. The stream that you've been following since you entered the valley goes down and continues to the southwest. It would make sense if there's a forge that they would need something to power it. For instance, running water, so it's possible if we follow the stream
Starting point is 00:11:12 we'll end up at the forge. There's no middle. Right. But you need cooling. You need a lot of cooling for a forge. What about were they camped right in the middle of the fork? No, they were camped blocking the passage to the southwest, which is where the stream goes. Yeah, I feel like that's where they were coming from.
Starting point is 00:11:30 Right. Can we do a survival check for tracks to see what type of tracks, where they're headed from, where they're going to? Okay, that's a 21 on survival. You see their tracks. And if it's soft ground or is it hard ground? Yeah, I mean, there are giant tracks all over the place. They're all giant tracks and there's animals. They're bonuses.
Starting point is 00:11:55 Giant tracks, animal tracks going in every which direction. Now, let me tell you this. Literally the last time he did a survival check, you said the exact same thing. And he said, every time I do a survival check, the tracks are going every which way. And you literally said the same exact thing. Well, it's the case.
Starting point is 00:12:11 So when you guys first came... Well, part of the skill is differentiating which tracks were their tracks. It's not Troy's fault the adventure is written to have them doing samba lines the entire time we're not there. It looks like they were either
Starting point is 00:12:30 coming from the southeast or the northeast. Not the southwest. And there's plenty of giant tracks. But where the valley began to widen, it's about, you walked another two miles until you get to where these veds were. Okay.
Starting point is 00:12:44 And that's where you saw them but if you see if you walk another three miles up or two two and a half miles up you'll go to the the northeast passage about a mile i'm saying like in the distance you can see where these things oh so it's not all in the same no but you can see it because you're surrounded by mountains a mile to the southeast is where that other passage is but you guys are right on top of the passage to the southwest. Well, metagaming a bit, I think we should not go for the Storm Tyrant's fortress. That sounds like a Book 6 thing,
Starting point is 00:13:14 and that isn't where our immediate goal is anyway. Yeah, and we're probably not powerful enough to go full frontal assault on a fortress right now. And Nestor, anyway, he's not, at the moment, he's not interested in going after the Storm Tyrant. Right. And also, you have to understand that south could mean 10 miles south or 5,000 miles south. Right. Baron, before we choose our way, wants to try to cover himself in the scent of the giants.
Starting point is 00:13:48 Very sticky because you said in the time you weren't listening to me about my other survival check about the Edden, I remember you let us know about their different nests of Drake's and there's a pet dragon and they all have really heightened senses. And I'd like to disguise ourselves as people coming for tribute that might be safe on their way there to whatever pits they're going to compete in.
Starting point is 00:14:13 Okay. Even though you don't have the appearance of giants, you want to at least give off that scent. I don't think they're looking because they came out of nowhere. I think they smelled easy human prey. That's why I think that drake showed up. So you're going to coat yourself in their stank
Starting point is 00:14:26 And I invite everyone else to I don't know I do not smell good at all We'll do it Might as well Really It's worth a shot Nesta We need every advantage we can get
Starting point is 00:14:41 Except one Infernal healing Maybe if you all do it, one of us doesn't have to, because the overwhelming scent will mask mine. Nestor, you... Nothing masks your scent, Nestor. You like to... I like that. It's good.
Starting point is 00:14:59 He's loosening up a bit. I don't have a good effect on him. If you like to sneak up on giants and slit their throats and shoot them with old jolter, I think you might have a
Starting point is 00:15:09 bit of an upper hand with this. Yeah, but giving off a very strong smell is not what I call sneaking around anyway. You turn around
Starting point is 00:15:16 and I'm low as like grinding the nail. Well, there we go. There we go. All right. It's all settled
Starting point is 00:15:21 down. I'm already covered in its blood. I mean, I don't know what else I could do. All right. You're all settled down. Umla already smells like it. He's got nails. I'm already covered in its blood. I mean, I don't know what else I could do. All right. And Matthew, you're going to play Umla again this week, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:30 I think it's good because you guys, it's overwhelming to play two characters, especially at this level. Do it for two episodes each. He's not going to last that long anyway. I just like Matthew's voice the best. He's got a good Umla. I'm Umla. I'm Umla. I'm Umla.
Starting point is 00:15:47 All right. So what are you guys thinking? So to the north then. There's two passages to the south, only one to the north. We find out what's there, clear out what's behind us, and then move for the south. We don't have a solid lead, so that sounds like a plan. Can Willamette pray for guidance?
Starting point is 00:16:02 Can Willamette pray for guidance? Sure Willamette pray for guidance? Sure. Yeah, for all the good it'll do. You'll get yourself out. Your God. I wasn't asking Nestor, just so we're clear-skinned. That's a voice you hear in your head. Well, he will say, let me pray on it. And then he'll pray to Iomadi and ask where,
Starting point is 00:16:22 if she believes there's a certain way we should go. Alright, do you... I don't want you to roll on it. What do you roll, though? Wisdom? Wisdom check. Or diplomacy. Intimidate. Tell me where they are, damn it!
Starting point is 00:16:40 God! Charisma check? Yeah, roll a... It's a paladin's thing. Yeah, roll a charisma check, but give yourself like a plus two. It's just an interesting idea. Eleven. I mean, I don't... How is it that every time I look at Grant's d20 hitting the thing,
Starting point is 00:17:00 it has two digits on it? And every single time I roll under seven. Hey, Will. Seems like you should learn how to pray a little bit better. Don't start off the prayer saying, I know you're really ugly, but... That was your mistake. I overheard. The gods don't always answer you, Nesta.
Starting point is 00:17:20 They do it in their own time and in their own way. In praying for guidance, you don't really get a sense of what the right way is, but you do, whether it be Yomadai or Shailen, sending you information, you do sense the presence of ancient religion in every direction. Ancient, yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:44 Well, I think this is a roll of the dice, so to speak. And I know I've got loaded dice, but I think we should just do what we said originally, just take the North. Go to the North. Doesn't matter. Lexington, your thoughts. He doesn't say anything.
Starting point is 00:17:58 The only thing I'm concerned about is the people from Shinran's Fortune. Like, do we have any... We have no lead. That was the point of asking, where are they taking tributes, do we know? And there was no... If he didn't see it, but they didn't see any...
Starting point is 00:18:11 I mean, I guess they didn't see any. They said the pits were south, right? So I imagine they're not taking the tributes to the pits. That's like a testing ground? I don't know. I think that the north might lead us to the den of the Drake we fought, which might be cool to fight him, but we've rested two days.
Starting point is 00:18:30 Well, maybe here's a question. Are the pits where they are? They having tributes fight in the pits or are they fighting tributes in the pits or the pits just giant against giant as tests? Yeah. Like, yeah, they were. The children's portion people were taking us tributes to, from what we could get from the garbled, mistaken, misheard.
Starting point is 00:18:51 To the Tinder Hall. To the Tinder Hall. So presumably they would be going towards the forge, right? Presumably, but it's a big presumption. I mean, there's a whole lot of gaps in the middle. I don't think we have enough information to make any kind of informed decision, so let's just pick a direction at random and go. North, yeah, north it is.
Starting point is 00:19:09 So you guys decide to head across where this valley widens and go towards the north. I sense ancient religion this way. And every way. Yes, Mr. In Every Way, but please, let's just make it dramatic for a moment. This way and every way. The air doesn't smell quite so foul this way. Always follow your nerves. Always follow your nerves.
Starting point is 00:19:32 All right. All right, so off you go. You guys travel. Getting across there is at least two miles. I'm so excited. I don't know what's going to be at the end. Me neither. I've got to read it. You'll take a break
Starting point is 00:19:52 so you can read up on it. Everybody take a pee break. Go get a sandwich. You might want to get a little bit of a head start on us for this part of the adventure. Skate, could you give us another summary of one of Tolkien's essays? Oh, certainly.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Well, Nester has read them all. Yeah, Nester's quite the fan. You guys go across this valley, and even though that main stream continued southwest, there are tributaries that are going in every direction, but the main stream is going southwest. A little stream goes to the southeast, and a little stream continues up. So there is a footpath for you to follow.
Starting point is 00:20:30 Okay. You cross the valley. It's a good two miles, maybe two and a half, three, and then it goes back to being a passageway. You travel for another couple miles or so, and it's getting to be twilight at a certain point. You mean dawn? I'm sorry, dawn, yeah. Because you were fighting it
Starting point is 00:20:52 in the middle of the night. In the middle of the night, yeah. So if you took some time in the camp to check everything out, question this guy, get your shit together. I don't think anybody really needed to heal. You make your way up there
Starting point is 00:21:01 so now dawn is breaking. And eventually you see, Baron sees, with his amazing survival skills. Thank you. Numerous giant-sized footprints scarring the earth. And if Baron follows them, it leads to the remains of a large campfire, them. It leads to the remains of a large campfire, which lies nestled between the outcroppings of two large boulders. The valley then, there's no one there that you can see. The valley then splits
Starting point is 00:21:36 directly north and then continues on. Now you guys are actually moving easterly. You chose the north path, but it's curved and you're moving easterly. So you've gone, you chose the north path, but it's curved, and you're going easterly. But there's also now a passageway that goes farther north. So it's forked again. The remains of a campfire. And they're either making a sojourn that way,
Starting point is 00:21:57 or they're out hunting and foraging, and they're going to return here. That's one of the two options, I think, that make the most sense. I'd like, next to me, I'd like to make a That's one of the two options, I think, that make the most sense. I'd like Nestor and I to make a quick perusal of the campground and see if there's left anything behind. Sure. Baron will join too.
Starting point is 00:22:14 27. Perception. 27 perception? 22. Nestor, you notice that there's still heat rising from the ashes of the campfire. Baron, you feel it as well. And there seems to be a bunch of stuff in that was burnt.
Starting point is 00:22:36 Not just wood. He takes his short sword out and kind of digs through it to see... Just stirring up the smoldering coals. You discover the cracked, blackened bones of a medium-sized humanoid. Huh. Can someone make a heel Oh, sorry. No, go ahead.
Starting point is 00:22:55 Make a heel check to see if it's human or male female. 20. 20 heel check. Do a carbon-14 dating check on it. In fact, if you continue looking, you do as you piece it together, find an intact human skull and
Starting point is 00:23:12 jaw within the fire. Sir Will would like to, as this is happening, he's going to detect evil over the area to see if there's any auras or essences of magical evil anywhere. And Will casts his hand, casts his glance,
Starting point is 00:23:29 however he does it, you don't detect any evil within the immediate area. Do we still have, do we use all of these and I don't know if it'll even work when they're burnt like this, speak with dead scrolls? I think we had a couple, right? And we only used one. Are we able to use that on a skeleton,
Starting point is 00:23:46 or does it have to have a corporeal body around it? It has to be able to actually speak. Oh, there's no musculature. Okay, that makes sense. Roll a knowledge arcana, those who can. 23. 23. I speak with that as probably knowledge religion,
Starting point is 00:24:03 but with your knowledge checks, that's fine. The fact that Baron was able to find an intact human skull and jaw is just enough for you to use Speak with Dead. Baron gets a bottle cap. Yay! Finally! You know what?
Starting point is 00:24:19 Baron gets a bottle cap. Baron, you get a Tom Exposition bottle cap. Nice! Only the finest. Only the finest. Only the finest. For only two. 300 gold. For only two.
Starting point is 00:24:29 300 gold. We definitely have a scroll. We have... The problem is, if you recall, I believe Willamette has to roll a natural 19 to use it. I think you had to roll a 19. I don't know how we figured that out. Yeah, we had to roll a 19.
Starting point is 00:24:41 We said it was DC 23. I think it was because we did it as the spell level. DC 20 plus the spell level. It's DC 20 plus the caster level. Which would be probably 5. So it would be 25. It would be 5th level cleric to cast 3rd level spells, I think.
Starting point is 00:24:54 So DC 25 would mean a natural 20 for Della. Definitely not worth the bottle cap. It's not worth the bottle cap. It's worth my bottle cap. Even if you can pry this from my cold dead hands i thought it was like a scroll isn't destroyed uh unless you fail by like a certain amount that's if um that's this is different because we're using magic device
Starting point is 00:25:17 so it's like you are triggering the spell and if the if you don't succeed then the spell is not effective but you triggered it okay by trying well at least i mean it's a point of debate but i necessarily puts the skull in his bag and it's just like let's let's just if if it comes to a point where we we know we can speak to this thing then we'll do it but otherwise there's no point so let's go i guess the main point is that you find human remains. Yeah. That was probably eaten, cooked. Like, it wasn't just like, well, torture it, burn it. No, there's no skin.
Starting point is 00:25:52 There's no flesh. The flesh didn't just burn. This was a... Cook fire. Cook fire. All right. All right. So, otherwise, the campground is clear.
Starting point is 00:26:02 Otherwise, the campground is clear. Passage to the north. Passage continuing east. Dawn breaking. I say we continue north, Nesta. That's where our random direction took us. Let's keep going in that direction. Once again.
Starting point is 00:26:16 Until we clear it out. Doesn't matter. Let's go. Survival? Let's see if they followed that way. Go ahead and roll a survival check. Fuck. Eleven. Eleven is enough for you to see that there are that way. Go ahead and roll a survival check. Fuck. 11.
Starting point is 00:26:25 11 is enough for you to see that there are no tracks going north. The tracks around the campfire continue eastward. That might be interesting. Follow them. All right. East it is. I say we follow these murderers.
Starting point is 00:26:40 Yeah. All right. They might have the rest of the... That's the best motivation for us because they might have the rest of the captives. To the east. Okay, so you're not going to go north. You're going to continue east
Starting point is 00:26:51 seeing that there are no tracks going north. The tracks are just continuing east. Got to rescue these Shinnerman's Fortuners. Thereby driving the completionist and skin nuts. The fact that we already left
Starting point is 00:27:00 two forks in that road is just making skin boil. He's logging all of them. What does that map you're drawing, Skin? All right. The fact that we already left two forks in that road is just making skin to skin boil. He's logging all of them mentally. What does that map you're drawing, Skin? All right. Now, you're following tracks from a fresh campfire. How do you want to proceed?
Starting point is 00:27:17 I'm talking small-scale party order. I'm talking are people being quiet about it? I mean, Will is clink, clink, clink, clink, clank everywhere he goes. So just tell me how you're making your approach. I was thinking about this recently. I think Will needs to stay in the back more than in the front. Because even though he's got the banner and everything, he's loud.
Starting point is 00:27:32 Nestor and Baron can see tracks. Nestor can sneak a little bit. And Will can guard the flank, essentially. And you have the movement of a magical wolf. So you can charge You can charge from the back So I think Willamette's going to stay in back Willamette's going to stay in the back
Starting point is 00:27:52 Alright, I put out a map here I just want to get the sense Off the map Where you guys are So I got Willamette in the back You guys straight line in it? Two by two? Della will stick with Nestor.
Starting point is 00:28:06 That way she can make him vanish. We only have two horses now. Two mounts. Reginald and... You want Umlo in the back where he's slow and... No, Umlo should be towards the vanguard because he needs to move towards Giants. You want to leave the dwarves together?
Starting point is 00:28:19 Sure. And then have Della and Nestor up front? Sure. All right, so we're going to Della and Nestor up front, followed by the two dwarves. And then a little space, about 10 feet of space. With Clanky McGee. Yeah, Clanky McGee in the back.
Starting point is 00:28:30 And I'm holding in my hands the giant crossbow loaded. And I accidentally shoot Della in the butt. No. Why? Are you just poking her every time we walk? He accidentally... Ow. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:28:43 Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Sorry. Sorry. Ow. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.... Ow. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:28:45 Quit it. Sorry. Okay. Now, are you guys moving stealthily? I mean, obviously not all of you can, so does Della and Nestor want to scout ahead and move stealthily? So have you like maybe 20 feet ahead of them?
Starting point is 00:29:00 Yeah. Yeah. All right. I can also stealth, but I guess I'll hang out with Amla. Okay, because you go for about six miles or so. Can I do a perception for, is there, so what are we, are we like, is it a tight crevice or crevasse or where are we in? The valley, even when it thins to just a single passageway, is still fairly wide.
Starting point is 00:29:21 Trees on either side? Not so much trees, no. You don't get, there's no space for them to grow, really. So it's rock walls on either side? Rock walls on either side? Not so much trees, no. There's no space for them to grow, really. So it's rock walls on either side? Rock walls on either side. There'll be a tree here and there. I guess my real question is, should I be checking for traps along the way?
Starting point is 00:29:37 That's up to you. It would seem strange in this situation. But we've run into traps out in the middle of the woods before. That's true. So that's up to you. I would be doing it. I would definitely,
Starting point is 00:29:47 Nestor would be doing it. Okay, yeah, so you can just kind of roll a... I'll let Nestor do it. Yeah, a general Nestor, just making sure there's not like... Trip wires on the ground or... I'll just roll a 36.
Starting point is 00:29:58 Yeah, you don't get the sense of any traps whatsoever in the next 100 feet or so. Right. Now, both of you roll a stealth. 18. 31. 18 and 31.
Starting point is 00:30:20 Nestor is quiet as a mouse. But Della, we're moving forward. You're just not as good as Nestor is quiet as a mouse. But Della, moving forward, you're just not as good as Nestor. Stepping on all the leaves. He drops your infernal healing wand. It's an 18. It's not a 2. It was so bad. You started dancing.
Starting point is 00:30:38 It got weird. Every time she steps on a twig or something, makes a noise, Nestor looks back at her and he's like, Are you fucking kidding me? Just shaking his head. Baryshnikov, mate. And she slowly raises another finger. So you move up ahead.
Starting point is 00:30:55 And Nestor is, like, quiet as a mouse. This is his thing. He's super, super quiet. And Della is trying to emulate Nestor. Just trying to be like Nestor in more ways than one. And Nestor is like, don't, don't step. Don't step there. Don't step. And she steps. And you
Starting point is 00:31:12 hear up ahead sounds. Hello there! Show yourselves! In common? In common. know there show yourselves in common in common we don't want any trouble where you found it come forward and you can see up in the distance the valleys is
Starting point is 00:31:38 starting to continue forward and also splits north again and there's like vestiges of a camp set up there. It's now like afternoon. I'm going to move forward. Is there any like cover between me and the source of this voice? You see
Starting point is 00:31:56 two weird mossy trees in front of you and the one on the right side looks like you could probably, with your stealth, get up to it and not be seen. Which would leave Della to have to
Starting point is 00:32:12 deal with what's ahead. Okay, I'm going to make a quick perception check to make sure it isn't some kind of moss monster. 21. 21. Something isn't right about those trees.
Starting point is 00:32:28 Can I do a knowledge nature? Sure. Nope. Oof. So I'm going to hang back and hand signal the rest to go forward and I'll wait. So Della will go with the whole group. Okay. The nester just turns around and is like, something's off
Starting point is 00:32:54 with those trees. Watch out for those trees. There's something not quite right about them. I'll be back here. Good luck. That's all you know. You can roll an H if you want. Try and figure out... We'll speak. I am Sir Willemette Keswick from Highbury.
Starting point is 00:33:11 We are passing through and see some danger up ahead in the form of these trees. Explain what is happening with these. Those trees are the least of your concerns. Move forward and we can talk. There's no reason for us to move forward. I can't see you. Can you show yourself, please? I'd like to know who I'm speaking with before I move forward, as you say. The name's Gristlecrack.
Starting point is 00:33:43 Oh. We'll admit, an internal monologue Oh, fuck And if you wish to speak with me Step forward I'm afraid we won't be doing that, Gristlecrack Though it is a pleasure to meet you, I must say We're going to stand here
Starting point is 00:34:05 until we see you. We can't see anyone. We don't know how many you've got back there, and we're not going to put ourselves in a deadly situation. Understandable. And... He seems very reasonable. You see... Um... Moving forward.
Starting point is 00:34:29 Off in the distance, two trolls. And behind the trolls, a huge, dusky-skinned giant. But around the bend, you have to come forward if you want to see more. I see it looks like two trolls and yourself. Is that all that's back there? That's right. Sense motive. Yeah, he'll definitely do a sense motive here.
Starting point is 00:34:58 Oh, yeah. There we go. 21. 22. 20. 21, 22. 20. 21, 22, 20. Mm-hmm. And 10 for Del.
Starting point is 00:35:12 She's full of shit. Yeah. Oh. Okay. About our safety or about being Gristlecrack? The numbers. Oh. The numbers.
Starting point is 00:35:23 Yeah, so Willamette will... She's full of shit. They have higher numbers back there. We must not charge in. We don't know what these trees may do to us. I'm sorry. Just give us a moment. Sheriff. Make your decision or we will begin to make ours.
Starting point is 00:35:38 They're coming through now, Con. If you... This is a shot in the dark and I could be totally wrong if you don't mind if you want help against the storm tyrant and his pet dragon you're gonna need our help so we come in good faith and in good
Starting point is 00:35:56 time help against the storm tyrant please don't be the storm tyrant. Please don't be the storm tyrant. Oh, this is... This is too good. I wish my friends here were more intelligent
Starting point is 00:36:11 so that I could laugh with them. But unfortunately, only I will enjoy this joke. I do not fear the storm tyrant not the storm tyrant I worship him and along with him we will raise
Starting point is 00:36:34 a mighty army that will take over all the small folk now come forward or the dragon will return and take you as well well sense motive on the dragon will return and take you as well. Well, like any shot in the dark, there was a 20% mischance, and that's what happened. It is not very wise to not fear those who you worship.
Starting point is 00:37:03 I think that perhaps you've made a mistake. This storm tyrant, what do you think he thinks of you? Do you think he thinks you're so valuable? When he sees me, he will realize my worth. For I have tiger blood in me. Mongol though I may be, I am one of the greats And when he sees me He will raise me to a position of power Now come forward
Starting point is 00:37:30 So we can continue this conversation A tiger giant I have a feeling it's not a conversation You wish to have So I'm going to give you an ultimatum We know you've taken humans From Shinemon's fortune And we come seeking them and that is all
Starting point is 00:37:46 You give us those humans and we'll be on our way and we won't be forced to kill you today If you do not, however Long as this siege may take We will take all of you down in the name of Iomadai Well, I would love to help you with your lost friends from Shinemon's fortune, but I'm afraid you're out of luck. For we built this fire to signal the Red Dragon who came and took them and brought them to the cathedral as tribute. Oh, man. This is too bad. Since we've divested ourselves of our captives, we are in no rush to get to the cathedral.
Starting point is 00:38:26 So instead, we'll just get more tribute. Try and take them alive! Kill them if you have to! Roll for initiative. Oh! Well, at least we didn't run in there. Will is going to say, stay back. Wow, I am terrible at rolling.
Starting point is 00:38:51 Gristle Crack. I did not expect this. I did not either. It was so confusing with all the notes as to whether Gristle Crack was another name for her, so I was trying to worship. Yeah, that was your theory from day one. And it was wrong. Yep.
Starting point is 00:39:09 Fool. You killed us all. With your reckless diplomacy. Reckless diplomacy. You can't negotiate with terrorists, though. That's what I find. That's true. Okay.
Starting point is 00:39:26 La-dee-da-la-la. Who's over 20 or 30? 25 for Della. 25 for Della. Okay. Anybody else over 20? Interesting. Not even close.
Starting point is 00:39:39 Good thing you're far away. Baron's 18. Baron is 18. Any 16s or 17s? Nope. Oh, boy. Oh, Nestor. Sne's 18. Baron is 18. Any 16s or 17s? Nope. Oh, boy. Oh, Nestor. Sneak attack. I know. Sucks. Nestor, what happened?
Starting point is 00:39:53 I thought for sure you'd be training your bow. I was, and yeah, the dice certainly reflect that. Umla, what'd you get? I did it because I knew he wasn't ready. Nine. I'm trying to think of what to do. It's a bad situation. Anybody lower than nine?
Starting point is 00:40:08 Yeah. Six for Sir Willow. Six for Sir Willow. Eleven for Nestor. Eleven for... Is that like a natural two or a natural one? Natural two. Oh, Nestor.
Starting point is 00:40:17 Eleven for Nestor. All right, then. Round one. The leader of the pack, Miss Della Narn. Plays a harpsichord. She whips out her harpsichord. Della will
Starting point is 00:40:35 keen and shock the scimitar and cast mirror image on herself. Ooh. Multiple Delas. How many Delas do we see? 1d4 plus 1. 1. No, 2.
Starting point is 00:40:54 So there are three Delas. There are three Delas. Two mirror images, one real Della. Barrett! By the way, where you're standing right now Just to give you an idea Della and Nestor are 10 feet away from the board
Starting point is 00:41:10 Baron and Umlo are 15 We're all together We waited until the group caught up so we could negotiate together So you guys are all in a straight line Nestor is separate We're all where we are We're just talking I'm just saying in terms of getting on to the board yeah okay so you're all like 10 feet away from the
Starting point is 00:41:27 board we'll say uh sir will uh you came up because you said you were hanging back you came up to them well i mean i i was just talking so i figured i'd talk from where i was you're 10 feet away uh baron baron's just gonna get right on the board, and he's going to fire his heavy crossbow of giant's bane immediately. The only enemies he sees right now are the trolls, correct? Two trolls, yes. There's a creature behind it that I just haven't put on the board that you can see. It towers over both of them.
Starting point is 00:41:56 I'm going to shoot the troll that is to the fork in the road. All right. We'll call him Troll 1. Wow, how creative. I was up all night thinking of that. Flat-footed Troll. Oh, then I'm going to turn on Deadly Aim. Okay, now how many range increments are you away?
Starting point is 00:42:14 It's within a crossbow. Oh, it's crossbow. Yeah, okay, great. 13 to hit flat-footed AC. 13 to hit flat-footed misses the Troll. Brutal. I 13 to hit flat-footed AC. 13 to hit flat-footed. Misses. Brutal. I then... Throw the crossbow into the river?
Starting point is 00:42:30 I kind of want to, but... Fuck this thing! The whole move action! It takes a full round to load, though, so I can't even reload it. So I'm going to sheath it. Sheath it. That's a move action. You didn't move, so perfect.
Starting point is 00:42:46 It is now the tree's turn? What? Yeah. The tree begins to change into a type of troll. Not the trolls that you've been dealing with, but other types of trolls. Those aren't the actual
Starting point is 00:43:02 pawns. They are like covered in grass and moss, and they were changed into trees. They both turn a triole. Can I just say one thing? Sure. We fall for this every time. We didn't rest.
Starting point is 00:43:19 We didn't rest on purpose. But Troy was like, Troy even gave us the chance, and he was like, you probably don't need to rest. We went right. Yeah, I mean, I used a couple lay-on hands, but we were, you know, we're moving forward. We're heroes, Della. Yeah, you know. We had just rested like three hours prior.
Starting point is 00:43:36 Alright, you guys are off the board, so we're gonna do some on-board, off-board map fights. My favorite! But we'll say that this first troll moves five, ten, fifteen, twenty. Boom. Up to Baron. And tries to bite Baron Redheart.
Starting point is 00:44:01 Misses Baron. It's getting a little clogged up here And then the other one just starts making its way 5, 10, 15 20, 25 30 What's on our right side here? There's a line all along the right side That's water
Starting point is 00:44:17 The stream continues along that way The stream on our right and about 60 feet to the left is a rock wall Right The trolls Begin moving forward as well, but they're cautiously protecting their leader as they move forward. Oh, God. You get a better glimpse of what's behind them. I don't even want to look.
Starting point is 00:44:41 A mongrel giant with taiga blood, if she's not lying. Dusky gray skin, thick lower jaw with protruding fangs, and long red hair tied back in a single strand. I give you Gristlecrack. Oh, gruesome. They all have to roll their saves against the arrow. Right. Right.
Starting point is 00:45:07 What's the range on that? Sight? Yeah, it's sight identification. Okay. But it is not Gristlecrack's turn, but with the trolls moving forward, you all get a much clearer picture of this monstrosity. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:45:24 Baron just took it out the table. Threw it out the window. That is one effective tactic. Because you are so much bigger than that pond. I know. This pond is so much bigger than our ponds. It's terrifying to look at.
Starting point is 00:45:40 It's five times the size of our pond. Nestor coin. Alright. I'm going to It's five times the size of our pond. Nestor coin. All right. So I'm going to... Yeah, I'm going to take a five-foot step onto the board. So all of these trolls have moved, right? All the trolls have moved.
Starting point is 00:45:59 Yeah, all the trolls have moved. She has moved, but yeah. I think you're in the water. No, it's fine. Okay. Yeah. All the trolls move. She has to move. I think you're in the water. No. No, it's fine. Okay. I'm going to just take a couple of shots at... Oh, god damn. You're allowed.
Starting point is 00:46:12 I'm going to take a couple of shots at this troll. The one up against Baron? I'm going to study it. I'm going to take a couple of shots. 28. 28 is definitely a hit. Okay. So the one stepped up to Baron and tried to bite Baron missed.
Starting point is 00:46:28 You've never seen a troll like this. You guys have fought a handful of trolls at this point. You fought a flood troll. You fought a regular troll. This one is covered in moss. Four damage. Four damage. With what?
Starting point is 00:46:44 With Jolter. Oh, wait. No, sorry. Yeah, okay. That's five. four damage. Four damage. With what? With Joltser. Oh, wait. No, sorry. Yeah, okay. That's five. Five damage. Six damage. Six damage.
Starting point is 00:46:52 Six damage. Yeah. That may still kill Baron. Uh, okay. And I missed the second shot. God fucking damn it. Missed the second shot. Okay.
Starting point is 00:47:02 That's not the way to start. Nestor gets one good shot off, but sums up with that bow. The initiative, he was slow on the draw, and it is... It's still fucked up from the fumble. Right. Yeah. I'm still struggling with the alignment. Amlo.
Starting point is 00:47:16 How far does Amlo have to get to be within 15 feet of the first troll apparently? If Amlo moves... It's like five feet. More than five feet? Yeah, more than five feet. Okay, so he'll move up. Can we roll our saves now? All right, so anyone within sight of Umlo, right?
Starting point is 00:47:34 Is that how the giant snail scale? No, it's with any creature of the giant sub-site who comes within 30 feet. That's what I asked, guys. All right, so the troll here has to roll a will save, right? DC 16. DC 16. The moss troll closest to us. Natural 1.
Starting point is 00:47:54 Wow, alright. So for 4 rounds, you take a minus 4 to attack. And saving throws, I believe. And it's enraged to only attack you? No, that's Umlo's hand. And it's enraged to only attack you? No, that's... Oh, that's Amlo's hand. Did Amlo roll his will save?
Starting point is 00:48:08 No. Fail. Ah, so Amlo will only attack this monstral until it or he dies. Keep it simple. Yep. Amlo's rolled to attack. Okay, here we go. Isn't that cool?
Starting point is 00:48:23 They can take the shape of trees. Yeah. Wiga could do that, right? Swampy tree. Yeah, that's go. Isn't that cool? They can take the shape of trees. Yeah, Wiga could do that, right? Swampy tree. Yeah, that's what Wiga usually do. Fourteen. Fourteen misses. No, wait, hatred, right? Stop. Well, if that's a giant spay and thing, it should be a plus two. They have giant
Starting point is 00:48:37 whatchamacallit, yeah. They have giant subtype. So, 16. 16 hits, he said. Yeah! Alright. This is a mistake I made with my Dragon's Breath. Oh, yeah. I forgot to add the plus two. But we gave you two attacks. That's true.
Starting point is 00:48:50 So it all adds up. 19 points of damage. 19 points of damage! I have a feeling I'm almost going to do well against this vendetta. All right, that was almost attack. Sir Willamette? Still. We tried to be diplomatic, but you Umlo's attack. Sir Willamette? Still. We tried to be diplomatic, but you've chosen another course.
Starting point is 00:49:09 I'm afraid it's going to result in your demise. You have elected the way of pain. Exactly, so Willamette is going to trot Lexington up between Della, Baron, and Umlo, standing right in front of this troll, and he says, The power of Yomadai, protect us! And he holds up his lance and the banner and he's going to do shared defense and everyone that's adjacent to him
Starting point is 00:49:31 has plus one to AC and saves for three rounds as long as you're adjacent to him. Wow. So we'll try to hold the pack together. Very, very interesting. How do I do that on your own? It's under, it's Paladin's shared defense. It's under conferred adjustments.
Starting point is 00:49:51 She just progresses forward. She doesn't have anything to say? Nothing to say. What did you say to her? I don't recall. I blacked out. You had the chance for diplomacy. You've chosen the way of death.
Starting point is 00:50:02 You've chosen the way of death. She says something to the effect of your death. Okay. You mean your death. That is a sick burn. You're the one that's going to die. Round two. Della.
Starting point is 00:50:17 You guys are all clumped together in front of this one moss troll. About 30 feet away is the other moss troll and then 10 feet behind him are two trolls guarding Gristlecrack. Della is going to cast Longarm. Ah. And then
Starting point is 00:50:33 Della will do a knowledge check on the troll that came out of a tree. The troll that came out of a tree. Okay. What is it? Local? Yep, knowledge local. 19. 19? Okay. okay what is it local yep knowledge local 19 19 okay what's going on
Starting point is 00:50:52 with your scimitar right now flaming shocking when you lit it on flame it went it showed a little bit of fear
Starting point is 00:51:02 of fire in fact did you just light it on flame now It showed a little bit of fear. Of fire. In fact, did you just light it on flame now? No, I think when we were walking, it's always been on fire. Okay, so when you drew it, it was the first time it saw it? It is now shaken by looking at your
Starting point is 00:51:18 on-fire scimitar. Ah! And it is now a Baron's turn. A Baron's going to take a five foot step immediately to the left and... And lose your AC bonus? Yeah, but I'm going to take an attack of opportunity
Starting point is 00:51:34 if I shoot at him. You can step back and still be adjacent. Oh, okay, then I will do that. Stepping off the board. This is so much fun. Move the coaster. I just moved Skid's coaster. He's going to rapid shot point blank and say,
Starting point is 00:51:49 I've never seen a troll turn into a tree before, but I've seen him turn dead. Natural 20. Oh my God. Oh, Baron, come on. Joe hasn't rolled a natural 20 since 2015. Roll to confirm. If it's over five, it's a confirm.
Starting point is 00:52:11 14 against touch. Touch. You just confirmed. So I choose between bludgeoning and piercing. Double damage. This is called nailed in place. Double damage and This is called Nailed in Place. Double damage and target cannot move. DC 20 strength check negates.
Starting point is 00:52:30 DC 20 strength check. She shot him right in the foot. Yeah. Right in the foot, and it failed its strength check. Yes. So Baron shoots it and kills the monstros. Yeah! There we go.
Starting point is 00:52:42 One down. And now the thing falls, and just from Gristlecrack's view, she sees Sir Willamette with Baron on his left, Della on his right, Umlo behind him with the spear up in the air, and Nester just to the side, the banner
Starting point is 00:52:58 flapping in the wind. Bring it! As they say. As they say in Riddleport Bring it Everything's too far away for me to really realistically Hope to hit anything, so I'm just going to end my turn there End your turn there
Starting point is 00:53:14 It is the next Moth Troll's turn He sees Delas fire from afar He's not close enough for it to shake him But it's enough for him to be nervous About going in, so the Moth Troll Holds his action He delays his action out of fear to shake him, but it's enough for him to be nervous about going in. So the moss troll holds his action. He delays his action
Starting point is 00:53:28 out of fear. The other true trolls, Gristlecrack says, and spurs on the trolls. So both the trolls double move towards you guys. And roll a will save. And we'll both
Starting point is 00:53:44 have to roll a will save. And we'll both have to roll a will save. And so does Umlo, right? Yeah, Umlo's gonna have to Well, just roll for the first one that comes up. I had a 13 and a 6. Fail and fail. So they both fail. So that's
Starting point is 00:53:59 minus 4. Wow, that armor is amazing. That's fucking great. For two rounds. Thank god Umlo came with us. And two rounds for the second one. Both, okay. Awesome. And Umlo succeeded on his save for the first one and failed for the second one. So he's compelled to attack the second troll.
Starting point is 00:54:18 That comes up. Right. So that one. Okay. So both trolls double move forward, leaving Gristlecrack back there alone. And then the moss troll will take its action. It's actually just going to take its move action
Starting point is 00:54:35 to move back to protect Gristlecrack. And that's all it does. So it still has a standard, what do you call it, a standard action it can take. It used its move action. So it still has a standard action. It can take it. It used its move action. So it is Nestor's Toin. So after cutting down the tree troll, Nestor loudly whistles with a gap in his teeth
Starting point is 00:54:57 the Lumberjack song from Monty Python and studies targets on the troll closest to him. And attacks. 25. 25 is a hit. 12 damage. 12 damage. Fires again.
Starting point is 00:55:24 Natural 20. Get out of here with Fires again. Natural 20. Get out of here with those quits! Natural 20. Yeah, that's a confirm. Oh. Let's hear that critical threat. Yeah. It's been a minute.
Starting point is 00:55:34 Here we go. Critical threat. There we go. There it is. Critical. Critical. Critical threat. Okay.
Starting point is 00:55:41 Wow. All right. So Nestor, first one hits. Second one quits. Okay. In. All right, so Nestor, first one hits. Second one quits! Okay. In a row, double damage to target and normal damage to adjacent target. There isn't one.
Starting point is 00:55:53 Shoot. It's still double damage, which is nice. Which is triple damage for the arrow. Oh, right. Oh, the bows... Times three. Times three. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:56:05 And I... You want a D8? Yeah, give me a D. Times three. Oh, my God. And I... You want a D8? Yeah, give me a D8, please. One, two... And shocking damage? Yep. Oh, boy. This is a good crit.
Starting point is 00:56:15 Joe's pumping his fist over there. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. 31 damage. 31 damage! Yeah. Oh, boy. All right. That arrow! Oh boy. That arrow hit the mark.
Starting point is 00:56:29 That was two attacks. Do you get a third one? Yes. No, that was... Okay, so Mr. just boom hits and then hits it right inches away from its heart. 31 points of damage on the second attack. It is now Umlo's turn. So Umlo has to
Starting point is 00:56:44 step up and attack Is he within range of it? I can't remember He was within range of the last troll But basically No now he has to move He doesn't have to move I mean
Starting point is 00:56:51 Well yeah he does Sorry He can take a five foot step Five foot step Two attacks Okay so Umlo Five foot step Puts him right
Starting point is 00:56:58 There First attack Seventeen to hit Seventeen Hits Sixteen points of damage First attack 17 to hit 17 Hits 16 points of damage 14 points of damage Okay
Starting point is 00:57:11 14 points of damage From Umlo Second attack 16 to hit 16 hits 14 points of damage And his first troll Is dead
Starting point is 00:57:21 Matthew you are always Playing Umlo from now on I am never touching that again. I am Umlo. One moss troll down. One regular troll down. That troll is down. Right, but not out.
Starting point is 00:57:36 Not out. How much damage was that second one? 14. Scimitar, Della. Points of damage. The one that's up. Yeah, Scimitar. They both will have regeneration.
Starting point is 00:57:52 The one that's down can come back up. You hit it once, it's down, down. Done, done. Do the one that's down first. All right. Just let Della do Della. It is Sir Will's turn. Sir Will's going to say, still feeling confident, and he's going to do Della. It is Sir Will's turn. Sir Will is going to say,
Starting point is 00:58:07 still feeling confident, and he's going to do total defense. And just kind of still stand there with his allies. Nice. Yeah, and that actually... He's going to hold up his shield. That first troll, the moss troll, is laying on the ground as well. Yeah, so...
Starting point is 00:58:21 Yeah, there's a lot of trolls here. That makes things a little bit more difficult when they all have regeneration. You don't have burning hands, do you? I do, but that's what I'm doing. So, so. Yeah, there's a lot of trolls here. That makes things a little bit more difficult when they all have regeneration. You don't have burning hands, do you? I do, but that's what I'm doing. So, yeah, both trolls, a moss troll and a regular troll down, but you guys know they have regeneration. Sir Will, what'd you do?
Starting point is 00:58:35 I did total defense because I'm trying to keep, I'm just trying to stay in the center of the whole party, the ranged characters, give them defense, and then I'm going to do total defense on myself. Okay, and you're not stepping onto the board. Correct. Okay. It's plus one AC to us? From your adjacent team? Yeah, plus one to AC, CMD, and saves. Okay.
Starting point is 00:58:55 Alright, um... Gristlecrack grabs a boulder. Oh, mother... Puss bucket. Boom! Flings it at Umlo and Nestor up front there. The only two players brave enough to step onto the board. Yeah, I said it.
Starting point is 00:59:12 I guess I'll roll twice. Misses Umlo and misses Nestor. Yeah! Alright! And then she moves up, realizing that her forces aren't as strong as she thought they were. She begins moving up.
Starting point is 00:59:28 Or perhaps we're stronger than she thought we were. Perhaps that's what's happening here. All right, so Gristlecrack moves up. Round three! Della. Five foot... Oh, no, she can do it from here. She's going to stick her hand in between, over the top of Umlo
Starting point is 00:59:45 and in between Lexington and burning hands of two trolls on the ground. All right, burning hands of two trolls on the ground. They're unconscious, so they don't get a reflex. Okay. Perfect. It's enough damage. Well, no, it's...
Starting point is 01:00:01 It's a ranged touch. It stops their regeneration. It's not a ranged touch. They're automatically dead. So they're dead. If they're unconscious, then that's it. Right. Well, they'll keep bleeding out unless they're stabilized by someone else.
Starting point is 01:00:12 Unless Gristlecrack is a cleric. Right. So Della takes her turn, hits them both, kills them both. Nice. No longer regenerating. Nice. Two trolls down, two trolls, and a mongrel taiga giant to go. Baron.
Starting point is 01:00:28 Baron will take... I guess I'll take a five-foot step and hold his action onto the board. Am I still next to... Five-foot step in front of... Yeah, you're still adjacent to... So I just want to hold my action until someone gets within 20 feet,
Starting point is 01:00:45 and if they get within 20 feet, I'm going to shoot them. It's amazing how you guys have played this, because obviously no one wants to go anywhere near the giant. I didn't even look. She probably has 15, maybe 20 feet reach. And there are two...
Starting point is 01:00:58 Who is it? Della and Sir Will are off the board, and Baron, Umlo, and Nestor are on the first squares of my little puzzle. Literally, they're wedged between the coaster and the edge of the hill. I knew that we would have a serious advantage here because if they wanted to fall back and play super defensive,
Starting point is 01:01:13 our strength is our ranged characters. So we could just keep shooting into them all day. But she also... We're basically a bowling alley for her now, though, with boulders. Yeah, sure. But we all have bonuses to defense. Most we can do.
Starting point is 01:01:30 It is going to be Baron's turn. It's better than getting hit with that hammer. You took a five-foot step and then... And then I'm waiting. My held action is if someone gets within 20 feet, I will shoot at them. So you're readying an action. Mm-hmm. Okay. Baron readies within 20 feet.
Starting point is 01:01:40 The trolls are within 20 feet? Not yet. All right. One of my trolls is now dead. The other troll yet lives. That troll really wants to do multiple attacks so it can rend, but it doesn't. So this troll is going to move the full complement of its movement. Ooh, shot on the way in.
Starting point is 01:02:00 Boom. And provokes from Umlo. And a stab on the way in. Provokes from Umlo. Stab from who? Provokes. From Umlo. Oh, from Umlo. And a stab on the way in. Provokes from Umlo. Stab from who? Provokes. From Umlo. Oh, from Umlo.
Starting point is 01:02:07 And activates Baron. And activates Baron. Okay, so two attacks. No, one attack. You can only do one attack. Yeah. Okay. Can't ready a full attack.
Starting point is 01:02:15 One attack. Ooh, that's... Ooh! 30 to hit. That is a hit. Nice. That is 16 points of That is 16 points of damage. 16 points of damage. What about Umlo?
Starting point is 01:02:34 13. 14 to hit. No. 16 to hit. You sure? Yeah. That's it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:40 13, 4, 16. Umlo, are you wearing hockey pads? I'm wearing hockey pads. I was wondering. I was wondering. 17 points of damage. 17 points of damage. Nice.
Starting point is 01:02:55 Excuse me, Nestor, are those Bugle Boy jeans? They're bad idea jeans. The creature here... Does that provoke two, just one, right? Because it steps into his range and steps closer this one will go to bite the gunslinger with his magic handbanger
Starting point is 01:03:13 natty 19 it's going to be a total of 27 for the bite just hits oh man 8 points of damage bites you and it is now the other moss troll's turn that other moss troll Oh, man. Eight points of damage. Gah! Bites you.
Starting point is 01:03:28 And it is now the other moss troll's turn. That other moss troll just steps up in front of Gristlecrack. And it is Nestor's time. All right, I will study this now closer troll. And deadly aim, take a couple of shots at it. Hopefully take it down. 21 to hits. 21 to hit the troll.
Starting point is 01:03:53 Hits. And with the old jolter, that will be 19 damage. 19 points of damage. Man, do I love Hero Lab. Walking around here with my iPad Like an adult And 24 to hit With his second attack Nice And that will be
Starting point is 01:04:11 Another 16 points of damage 16 points of damage Alright It is still alive And it is in front of the party But for how long For how long as Gristlecrack edges ever closer
Starting point is 01:04:28 to this bowling pin of pea seeds? Umlo! Umlo is he's gonna step back within range and provoke, I believe. Stepping back. Because he has to get two spaces away to hit with the spear. Okay. Yeah, so
Starting point is 01:04:44 he's gonna provoke and he's gonna have to go past you. Yeah, so he's going to provoke, and he's going to have to go past you to hit. So there's going to be a bonus to its AC. Can he step to the side? No, there's nowhere he can... All of our characters are between him and the troll, basically. Yeah. Provoked and missed on the attack of opportunity. Okay. So you get a stab
Starting point is 01:05:00 and plus two to AC. One attack as you move ten feet, right? Yeah. Minus four, did you say? No, no subtraction for you. Don't worry about it. Miss. Oh, I'm...
Starting point is 01:05:11 Damn. I just see him weaving in and out of battle with this thing. All right, and it is Sir Will's turn. Sir Will has been all about defense. Yep, Sir Will is going to take a five-foot step between Della and the troll directly in front of it. Oh, onto the board. Welcome, Sir Will.
Starting point is 01:05:28 Onto the board. He's going to say, throw trolls at us all day. We can keep this up well into the evening. And I'll do total defense. Total defense. All right, Sir Will steps up. After facing the rift rake and seeing his own live flesh before his eyes, he's all about protecting it. It is Gristlecrack's turn.
Starting point is 01:05:45 Gristlecrack. Oh. Gristlecrack. Oh, Gristle, what do you want to do? Gristlecrack is going to move. Why don't you throw another boulder? Shut up, Nestor. We're better off. She can do bad all by herself. Just out of reach.
Starting point is 01:06:07 I mean, she is like one more step and she's within reach because she has 15 feet reach. So Gristlecrack just moves up and she's got fire in her eyes. She doesn't look phased at all. Yeah, we have... Confident that she can kill all of you. We have yet to touch her. And it is round four.
Starting point is 01:06:28 Della. Della is going to cast True Strike. Della casts True Strike. Okay. Alright, Della. Della casts True Strike. Baron. Baron's going to take five foot step back to still be adjacent.
Starting point is 01:06:44 Off the map adjacent off the map off the map that leaves Sir Will and Nestor as the true heroes Sir Will is alone in front of the troll and he's gonna
Starting point is 01:06:52 fire fire when ready I think that's gonna provoke from the troll yep he's got ten foot reach oh I didn't realize that
Starting point is 01:07:01 so I could have just stayed there and well whatever it's up to you you can stay there or move on. No, I'll move back. All right. It goes to bite.
Starting point is 01:07:08 18 misses. You're in six. You don't have to worry about these trolls. That is a hit. That's a 19 against touch AC. 19 hits. That is 14 damage. 14 damage.
Starting point is 01:07:21 And you get a grit point back because it is in the negative. Nice. Nice. Nice. So you're saying I can take four out of three grit points? damage 14 damage and you get a grip point back because it is in the negative nice nice nice so you're saying i can take four out of three grip points i can have one more than i actually have that'd be great thanks i appreciate that i take it back i take everything back um all right uh baron you have any shots left yeah i could take a shot how far away she's about 40 feet away 50 feet away uh 5 10 15, 15, 20, 25. So just one range increment out. So this is going to be a negative 2 to my second attack.
Starting point is 01:07:51 And you're going to have to take some cover, basically. He's going to get a bonus because of Willamette. Because she's so big. But I can still... Oh, I can't. It's just a small AC bonus. All right, whatever. Doesn't matter.
Starting point is 01:08:05 That is a 16 against regular AC, which is not going to hit him. That one misses and she laughs. She catches the bullet. Needs it. Alright. The troll on the ground
Starting point is 01:08:19 regenerates some HP and wakes up. Oh, I should have shot it again. Wait, was that the right troll? Let me just make sure. It was the right troll. Might have been the wrong troll. I've got a lot of trolls I'm controlling. Actually, no. It regenerates and still stays down.
Starting point is 01:08:35 Because Baron took it so far down. So far. And it is the Mountain Troll's turn. Mountain Troll's turn. Mountain Troll, you guys are eating these for breakfast, and it's afraid of fire. What's it going to do? All right, the Mountain Troll is going to charge.
Starting point is 01:08:54 I can't charge because of the body of the... Did Gristlecrack roll her save, by the way? She didn't. She's within 30 feet now. 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. I guess she is within 30 feet of Umlo. No, Umlo's just out of range because Umlo had to move back 10 feet off the board. If you play it on the board,
Starting point is 01:09:09 it would make it a lot easier, Matthew. The board would. All right, so it's going to be... What am I saying? Who's turn is it? The troll. All right, the troll can't charge because the body of that other troll is there.
Starting point is 01:09:20 So it is just going to double move, and I know it'll have enough room to get over here it'll first have to roll its save it'll have to roll its save and it will probably fail in it did I miss Gristlecrack's roll?
Starting point is 01:09:37 she's not in range so yeah failed its will save the moss troll going to be useless. Three rounds. Oh, yeah. And Umlo made his save so he can attack whoever he wants. All right, and the moss troll will just try to bite Baron.
Starting point is 01:09:57 90-19, but that's still only going to be a 22. Move. Nice. Only a 20 is going to hit Baron with a bite, and it is Nestor's turn. Gristlecrack getting closer. Right now, Gristlecrack is 30 feet from the edge of the board. I'm going to take... I wonder if we should rearrange the map so we can...
Starting point is 01:10:14 But I'm going to take a five-foot step. We could just push everybody forward. Yeah, we could. Probably. But anyway, I'll take a five-foot step off. Study old lady Gristlecrack and take a couple of shots at her. That's a
Starting point is 01:10:28 30 to hit. 30 to hit Gristlecrack hits. First hit on old Gristle. 16 damage. 16 damage on Gristle. And for the second attack, natural 20. Oh my god. Two crits. Probably won't confirm. It's your boy. Nest to nest.
Starting point is 01:10:44 No, does not confirm. Max damage. Yes, max damage. So that's eight, that's 16. So that's 22 damage. 22. Nester. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:58 You figured out the bow. You figured out what was wrong with it. Now I see. A little adjustment. I'm all right. And it is Umlo's turn. Umlo. Umlo's going to move up and attack Gristlecrack.
Starting point is 01:11:11 This is what Umlo does. Roll your save. Let me ask you, does this scale mail function as an enchantment or illusion spell? It functions as a gaze effect. A mind affecting fear effect. So it's not enchantment or illusion. It's fear. Lose your illusion, man. Guns and roses.
Starting point is 01:11:36 Forever. So she will roll and 17 will save. Saves. And Amlo fails. So he is stuck. He's not leaving. He Amlo fails. So he is... He's not leaving. He's stuck in. And has to attack Gristlecrack every single round.
Starting point is 01:11:51 Until either he or her dies. So he gets within range to do one juicy attack. Make it a crit. Natural. Damn it, Matthew. I started you off there. 20. Miss. Natural 20?
Starting point is 01:12:05 Natural 20? No. Natural 20? You know what? And he'll say, You giants are all the same. I'm not wearing hockey pants. Die. My trolls are hungry.
Starting point is 01:12:21 I thought I had misplaced it. It was just hidden. I haven't been rolling my neon green d20 the entire session. Well, probably I rubbed it on Joe, so it's not going to have the same power. I put it in the dishwasher. Joe actually swallowed it and has passed it through
Starting point is 01:12:36 himself since last time. Sir Will. I think it is time. Sir Willamette is going to lower the lance. As it's coming down he points it right at Gristlecrack and says, I smite thee, villain of Minderhall's Valley. And for Highbury! For Highbury!
Starting point is 01:12:55 For Highbury! He's going to charge past her. Yeah, you have it. Okay, roll to hit. He's got it. And so move me 70 feet. So put me, you know, well, just put me well out of her range. Okay.
Starting point is 01:13:07 Two hit. Natty 20! You're out of here! Out of here! Oh, man. Well, hey, even if you don't confirm, it's crazy damage. That's max damage? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:23 Unconfirmed 20s. It's going to be a tough confirm. What's your two hit right now? Plus 17. Oh, this could be an easy confirm. I could maybe crit. You could fucking do it. Will could maybe crit.
Starting point is 01:13:32 Natural fucking four. Max damage. 21. Oh, my God. You just missed it. 18, 22. Well, that's still great. All right.
Starting point is 01:13:39 So max damage. Yeah. So it's 33 points of damage. Oh, my God. Nice. of damage. Oh my god! Alright, so that crit would have been nice. Holy shit, you guys fucked up Gristlecrack. Yeah, man. And now it's Gristlecrack's turn.
Starting point is 01:13:54 And she don't care. Hey, that's my joke. Oh, boy. Umlo. Umlo is within... She can take a five-foot step and do two attacks on Umlo. She's where she needs to be.
Starting point is 01:14:12 Yeah. Because he was 15 feet away to hit her. Yeah, they're both, like, standing at range from each other, just poking. Like broadships trading. Yeah, that 70 feet got you just out of range. I knew it!
Starting point is 01:14:23 I was sitting here doing the math. I even moved your piece. I'm not going to lie. This is very bad for Rumble. First attack. All that con damage. Oh, still. Plus four, though.
Starting point is 01:14:32 Plus four, though. First attack. Plus five to your total AC. I'm not... All right, plus four. Yeah, that ended. The shared defense is over, so that's why he charged. 24 to hit.
Starting point is 01:14:43 I'm low. Just hits. That's why you got to use combat expertise I'm low. Just hits. That's why you gotta use combat expertise. 19 damage. Second slam. Second slam. It was like sitting on a six. Went to an even better number.
Starting point is 01:14:57 30 to hit. 20 points of damage. I'm low is unconscious. And dying if you're following along at home. Gristlecrack. One rounded Umlo. And it is round five.
Starting point is 01:15:12 Della Narn. Della is going to step up within 20 feet of Gristlecrack and cast Blade Lash with the effects of True Strike still on.
Starting point is 01:15:23 Oh! What kind of spell is Blade Lash? It's the one that trips, right? It's the one that trips. It's not gonna It shouldn't have to be spell wisdom since I'm just casting it on the weapon. No, I'm asking you what kind of spell it is. Like, what school. Transmutation. You're good. Okay.
Starting point is 01:15:40 So this is a plus 38 to my roll. Oh yeah, there's True Strike. Blade Lash. Oh, my God. Natural 16. That's a hit. She falls. She's tripped.
Starting point is 01:15:53 So wait, that's just, if it hits, it trips? It's against AC or is it against CMD? CMD. Oh, okay. Give me the total number. So it's 16 plus 38, so 54. 16 plus 38. Fizzy cast, true strike.
Starting point is 01:16:06 True strike plus the bonus from Blade Lash plus my attack bonus. Crystal Crack falls. Yeah! Boom! Crystal Crack is down! Oh, grounds, James. Oh, my God. The water in the stream splashes up.
Starting point is 01:16:21 Baron, you're up. Baron is, I guess, going to have to take care of this troll that's still up. Baron, you're up. Baron is I guess going to have to take care of this troll that's still up. He doesn't have any way of outside of switching weapons, stopping their regeneration. So he's going to take a five foot step back and shoot at the troll.
Starting point is 01:16:37 Shoot at the troll. The troll that's still up and able to attack. Okay, the moss troll. Yep. So this is... A hit. Nice. With 16 points of damage. Nice.
Starting point is 01:16:51 First time this moss troll was hit. Second attack, up close and deadly. I don't think I realized that. Second attack, up close and deadly. Up close and deadly. Ooh, that's a miss. I think that might be a misfire. Oh, no, Baron!
Starting point is 01:17:05 Baron, no! God. Misfire is one to two, but I have pistol training, which misfire... No, it's not a misfire. Okay, good. So I miss. Unless a ten against touch AC hits. It's just a miss.
Starting point is 01:17:20 That is a big old miss. Okay, and now, finally, it's my troll's turn. Let's see if this guy is going to wake up from the regeneration. Nope. He was so far into the negative, but he's slowly getting back into the positive. Slowly getting back into the positive. Wounds knitting together. And then the...
Starting point is 01:17:40 As he lies on the ground. Moss troll. Five foot steps up to Baron. And full a-schmacks him. Full attack. Clock log bite. Let's do the bite first. Bite.
Starting point is 01:17:55 Ten. Miss. These are all going to miss unless I hit a natural 20. Miss. And miss! Nice. It's useless against you. What makes them so hard is the regeneration.
Starting point is 01:18:10 It takes Della out one round to have to do that Burning Hands. Yeah, yeah. And as you can see, Della is incredibly effective. Effective. Nestor. I can't believe Gristlecrack is on the ground. It's going to get a bonus to ranged AC. Yeah, plus four?
Starting point is 01:18:25 Plus four, yep. So, okay. Nestor's going to take his first shot against Gristlecrack. 21. Miss. Miss the crack.
Starting point is 01:18:42 He's going to take his second attack against the regenerating troll On the ground And hits Nice move Very very nice move It's just very smart play 24 damage
Starting point is 01:18:57 And stay down 24 damage And Mike a DC 16 Fortitude save Oh yeah get sick at dc 16 fortitude site oh yeah get sick and baby dc 16 fortitude save it isn't below its con it's way below its con it's dead it doesn't
Starting point is 01:19:14 work that even below its con it regenerates yeah it still regenerates i found this out recently even if like even just a shred because it works differently than fast healing yeah just a
Starting point is 01:19:21 shred of flesh of a troll if it's not been burned or acid burned, will regenerate over time. Wow, I thought it worked like fast healing. You guys got away with one with the Orm Oryx fight. Alright, so, I'm sorry, Skip, what was it? Will save? Well, I mean
Starting point is 01:19:36 if it's completely unconscious, then it doesn't matter. Well, I rolled a natural one. Well, then actually for it is sickened, well, for one round. It's going to take five rounds for it to, excuse me, six rounds for it It is sickened... Well, for one round. It's going to take six rounds for it to even be conscious again. Unless the Lost Troll pours
Starting point is 01:19:51 Cure Serious Wounds down its throat. Right, right, right. As a full round action. It administers the potion to the Lost Troll. Umla. Umla's going to roll stabilize. Umla rolls to stabilize. Gets it. He stabilizes it.
Starting point is 01:20:07 How far is he under? Just three. Okay, so 13. Easy stabilization check. Does that reset his enchantment should he come conscious again? Or is he still locked into the death with Gristlecrab? He's locked into the death. He fights to the death. To the pain!
Starting point is 01:20:24 Sir Will! Sir Will. Sir Will wheels his mount, turns towards the fallen giant, points the lance at her head. Oh, my God. Yeah. On the ground. Oh, my God. Which is perfect for him.
Starting point is 01:20:36 Yeah. Because now he's gonna get a higher ground bonus. Right. And she has minus four to her AC. Yeah. Ridiculous. And he's going to charge, not ride by attack, but straight at her, because she can't do an attack of opportunity, and end right four to her AC. Yeah. Ridiculous. And he's going to charge, not ride by attack, but straight at her
Starting point is 01:20:45 because she can't do an attack of opportunity and end right next to her and try to get the spear right in her head. Love it. Love it. Oh, and he's also going to
Starting point is 01:20:55 activate his Cavalier's Challenge for the day. Please don't kill Grissom Clack. Please don't kill Grissom Clack. Yeah, so he's, yep, he just wheels around and is like, you stay away from my friends!
Starting point is 01:21:06 For Highbury! Natty 17. That's gonna be a hit. Oh my god. And then, uh, he does... Whoa! Oh shit!
Starting point is 01:21:20 He does 39 points of damage. Oh wow! You killed Grizzlecrab! There's no point in continuing the troll fight. And you know what? You're all level 8! We'll see you next week! Yeah! We win!
Starting point is 01:21:40 We win! We win! We win! We win! We win! I hate Highbury! I'm'm gonna burn it to the ground That was a CR10 encounter Damn it
Starting point is 01:21:52 Have you Highbury Outro Music

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