The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 90 - Big Willy Style

Episode Date: February 14, 2017

As the party recovers after a draining battle with Marsh Giant Wights, another decision on which way to go next leads to a foreboding dead end. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. I've got no strength, I've got no con, I've got no charisma. Weakened and deep behind enemy lines, the companions will form a bond. This new party, which isn't that new anymore, is really starting to come together. And it couldn't be a better time for it to happen as you get deeper into the valley and closer to what could be the greatest danger you've ever faced. And they'll form a plan. So like Indiana Jones, we're going to walk it straight into Nazi Germany.

So when they capture us, they can just take it from us. Standard operating procedure. Right. But for it to work, Lexington will need to do the impossible. He is a magical wolf. He is a magical wolf. He can walk downstairs. I don't know what's next.

It's about to go up. Load the bag with the treasure! Take it all! The adventure continues right now. Hello, ladies and gentlemen, nerds and geeks worldwide. Welcome to episode 90 of the Glass Cannon podcast.

It's me, Skid. Just want to make a quick announcement before we get started. You may have noticed that as a result of our migrating hosts, that our episodes page on our website is at least temporarily gone. So if you want to listen to episodes old and new, go ahead and subscribe through iTunes or whatever your favorite podcast app is, or plug our RSS feed into an RSS feed reader. That RSS feed can be found, a link at the banner at the top of our website, www.glasscanonpodcast.com. We want to thank you for everyone's patience during this time as we work all the bugs out.

But I think we've done it. So we should have all the episodes up and available through perpetuity. So that's exciting. But I don't want to waste any more time. I want to get right into this episode. I think it's one of my very favorites that we've ever done. So everybody sit back, relax, and get jiggy with it for Episode 90, Big Willie Style. Jiggy is short for gigantic in this case because we fight giants and he gets...

Just listen to it. It's good. It's a good one. My original goal in having Umlo be a party member was so that you would become invested in his story. You would feel for him. And come what may, if he survives to the end of the venture, if he has a heroic death, you'll be like, ah, Umlo. He was one of us.

He was one of us for at least 25 episodes, 50 episodes, 100 episodes. And man, do I feel bad for poor Umlo. When you think of his whole story, like he was forced into going with his sister because he wanted to protect her. They get screwed over by a marsh giant, actually, with the hags.

And then he gets lost. Schizophrenia. Ends up being captured by the orcs, thrown in a bear pit, fighting for his life, brought to the brink of death every day, and then healed by Droja just so they could throw him back out there. Then you guys save him. He goes to the tomb to complete the mission with Ingrahild. Sister

dies! And then he's caught up with these keystone cops. And then he's like and then he's like i washed my hands i'm done i'm done i'm out i'm out i got no strength i got no con i've got no charisma nothing to speak of and i knew he reminded me of troy he was he's the he's the troy of npcs and then against his own belief, wasn't it Sir Will that tried to spur him on to stay in the adventure? You take the hand.

Yeah, he was like, your ancestors fought giants, you should fight giants. Make a name for yourself. Will's father always said, never turn away a chance to win glory. An opportunity to win glory. I was ready to just rip up his character sheet and never

see him again. But now he holds two of the most powerful items in all of Galarian and the poor guy just has no strength, no con, no charisma and now one level of energy drain. And I, you know, so I looked up this negative level here. I'm sure

like most of our fans did this week. He takes a minus one, because there's only one level penalty on ability checks, attack rolls, CMB, CMD, saves, skill checks. In addition, he reduces his current and total hit points by five for each negative level he possesses. So his

max right now was only 46. So now his max is 41. And he loses five hit points on top of that. And, you know, if he was a caster, his caster level would go down. It's brutal. And if he doesn't, and it's nighttime now. It's 9, 10 o'clock at night or whatever. He's got to wait to make the save until 9, 10 o'clock the next day.

And if he fails it, it's permanent. Permanent. Who's playing Umla? I am. Oh, he is. Fuck. Holy shit, I didn't even think I am. Oh, he is fucked. Holy shit, I didn't even think about that. That is a bad idea.

It's canon, no? Joe said he's taking him. Oh boy, that is bad. Joe, I don't know if I want this. This fortitude save is, I think, after the negative level we looked up, it's like plus three. Plus three fortitude. This poor guy., after the negative level we looked up, it's like plus three. Plus three fortitude.

This poor guy. I know. I can now, with the knowledge pool, Della could take Bear's endurance. Skid and I are talking about it. Yeah. So we could give him a boost to his con. Sure. I'm sure you've got some options. I'm assuming you guys want to at least rest right now.

That we do. Are you going to spend a whole day and wait until the next night? Are you going to forge ahead and hope for the best? No, I think we'll forge ahead. Okay. And then the next time you... Just put it this way. The next time you get to a point when you're ready to camp,

that's when you will roll and save. Tomorrow night, one of us will cut off our hands and take the steel hand and then... Me, Bumlow, and Doc. Win-win. Yeah. Let's lose. Bumlow.

All right, so you guys want to rest you against the warning of the giant scarecrow and against Baron's wishes to continue north

the three of you go south and I mean Baron came too right Baron came too right on protest protest

under protest under protest and then these like undead marsh giants come out and attack you guys

thanks to Nestor and Baron especially made easy work of them and a good charge by Sir Will great charge he took one out

with one blow a single blow um what's going on here well I think Sir Will is, he's a little bit torn between wanting to turn around and go back

because he's like, our objective is not here. Objective is not this way. But I believe that there's a certain level of role play that you have to attach to a paladin or a cleric character where they cannot allow undead that they know to be there to just roam around

and possibly spread. If deeper into this valley there's a way to end this blight, he might have to do that. And that's the way I'm leaning, I will say. All those poor members of the Storm Tyrant's army could potentially become undead. Right, right. Like, where did these whites come from?

Yeah, I mean, they must have just been giants that stumbled into the wrong place. And it's, you know, do we concern ourselves with cutting the head off this snake? Or do we backtrack and just get out of here? Like, hey, just leave this. There's some source of necromantic power here that we haven't seen yet. But if the giants

are being warded off from here and they're undead, that suggests that doesn't help our mission, which is the party's mission, which is to eventually, somewhere down the line, topple the storm giant. And it doesn't help our mission to save the Shinran's fortune people. I feel like the only reason to go forward is

either Will can convince us, or because we're completists. Well, no. The other thing, and that Nestor, like, with the—well, Nestor, like, just, he wants to kill the drakes anyway just out of spite. But they also had a really nice haul. That's when we killed the last one. So he's thinking that maybe there could be another kind of cache of treasure that we could find. So, yeah, you guys made the decision to come in here. Was anyone expecting undead? No. He's thinking that maybe there could be another kind of cache of treasure that we could find.

So yeah, you guys made the decision to come in here. Was anyone expecting undead? No. No, certainly not. What were you expecting? You saw lots of trees. You thought maybe animals? No, I thought maybe it was like, I thought maybe it was drakes or dragons that were not allied with giants that would attack and kill giants if they came this way.

It was one thing I thought. And maybe the dragon pet or companion that the storm tyrant has is like a tamed dragon. Like a captured and tamed dragon as opposed to like a willing dragon ally, if that makes sense. And that there might be drakes here that are like, keep out

of our area. But yeah. But in retrospect, it doesn't make any sense because the scarecrow, it would be an agreement among intelligent beings. The scarecrow is more like just a warning sign that's like even dumb giants, like don't go down here because you'll contribute to the spread of this

disease. Is there any relation and I'm maybe using it as a red herring, but is there any relation to be drawn between the fire crystals we have and the undead or anything like that? Is there any effect on them?

Yeah, I just thought that exact thing. I was wondering if there was a knowledge religion role we could do to see if they'd be effective against it. If you threw one at them or if they, you know, if they, I guess undead don't fear anything, I don't think. The only connection you could make is just dragon's breath fire. These are the source of some sort of magical or non-magical fire. It's dormant.

You're not quite sure. But other than that, there's no connection. Okay, here's my theory. I think that these crystals will somehow power the forge. Oh. Yes. I think they have to be incredibly valuable to them. Yeah, I think that might be what they're for

So like Indiana Jones We're going to walk it straight into Nazi Germany So when they capture us, they can just take it from us Standard operating procedure Right I wonder if they Had already pilfered that

Chapel of those things But didn't find the secret room They didn't find those Maybe, but didn't find the secret room. They didn't find those. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe. Could be. Could be.

And you know what? I think this is an out-of-accent exact discussion that the characters are probably having as we rest in this part of the valley. Like, do we continue further in the morning, or do we not? Do we turn around and go back? Yeah. And it's a decision that I certainly want to make before we rest because I would prepare different spells

if we were going up against undead. As a paladin, I have powerful anti-undead magic. Yeah, before you go to bed tonight, all of you have to make some decisions on like,

what are we facing here? What do we need to prepare and steel ourselves against? Mm-hmm. Oh, boy. What do we think? Well, again, I'm all for forging ahead. I will say that Will is also for forging ahead.

Because he believes to a certain extent that the villagers from Shinemon's Fortune are beyond our help at the moment. Not only were they taken away by a dragon, but their feet were cut off. They're in horrible, horrible condition and probably already sacrificed and dead. For all we know. Right, for all we know. So I don't believe there is that urgency that like, one more day they'll be alive, the next day they won't. I don't think Will sees it. And he has this

urge to cleanse this place of undeath. It's a serious... There's a reason you get double damage on a Smite Evil as a paladin against undead or Evil Outsiders. It's because you feel intense, intense. They are the opposition of all of your beliefs. That's a real

solid motivation for you. Let me ask you, Delet. In your dealings with your father, I'm sure he kept a lot of stuff from you as well, but you also saw a lot of the stuff he was doing. Did he have any dealings with Undead? I think she must have. Yeah, she must have along the way. I mean, the number of different planes and demi-planes the two of them went to,

I mean, they've surely encountered them. And I think, yeah, Della has had experience fighting them. I think her motivation here is that, yes, the Shinran's fortune people, and I feel like she feels the need to speak for them since they've been, everybody else doesn't care about them as much anymore. But also this is just not our objective.

And it keeps her away from Brander and those people's safety and the mission. So once we encounter the undead and realize why this place was warded off, I just don't see her immediately trying to convince everybody to go back and backtrack and go the other direction.

Right. And what about Baron? Baron hates this. Baron thinks this is a total misuse of what we were sent here to do which is to stop the giants from taking over the rest of the world and if giants are afraid of this he feels like this type of evil that you know might exist and it is worth you know getting out at some point and centralize this area and isn't going to spread. That there's a clear line drawn around the sand

that's kind of a pit of whatever is in here and that seems to be the wrong way. But the thing is, we don't have a clear path forward anyway. And one of our main objectives should be to enrich ourselves as we go,

just to get ourselves as much power, powerful items, money as we can to be successful when we do find whatever our objective is. I'm sure I can see Nestor telling Go if you want to kill this Brander fella, you're going to

need more than what you have currently. So I see both ways and I think this is an interesting argument as you guys are going to bed thinking about this. You're kind of two sides and Umlo is definitely going to be he's going to follow Sir Will. No, I think I'd make the call.

If he's truly squiring you. No, I believe that Umlo does not believe that his... that the motivations he feels with his fist, I do not believe, equates to cleansing the land of undead. I think it's to kill live giants.

And I think that he would more so side with his dwarven companion, Sheriff Baron. I think he might tip the scale to leave this area. Because that negative level is so draining and terrifying to him. And he's like, why am I going to continue this way for what seems like not our mission at all? And yes, possibly, I've been working on this this week,

this Scottish accent you were doing. Possibly this riches we may find down the end of this path of death you talk about Nestor, maybe. But I think that as Della says, it's not our mission.

My mission is to kill giants that are already alive. These are already dead. There's no work for me here. Well, first of all, that is a fairly respectable accent, and I applaud you for that. Yeah, all right! That's pretty good. Second, I think we need steel sharpened steel.

We need to hone our skills and gain as much magic as we can. We don't know where our objective is. Now, that being said, if the vote of the company is against me, I will, of course, acquiesce to your demands or desires. So if there's a vote, you know what my vote is, but whatever it is, you all decide. That's fine with me. Before we make a vote, can I clear something up, just metagaming-wise?

Yeah. I thought that as we left that day, we were going to continue to go east and north if it was available to us, right? Yeah. And then we went south because we saw the scarecrow. Exactly. So there's still another northern means of where we can go, right? Yeah, you can backtrack and continue to go north. I think someone said earlier that there was not really another way to go, but I think that we could go back to our original.

I think his point was that we don't know what that direction is. There's a bunch of different ways we could go. I think the reason you went this way is like, why are they trying to keep giants out? Maybe it'll be okay for us. And what do you find? Undead giants. Now we know why they're trying to keep giants out.

In my mind, it was like some sort of ancient magic that they were afraid of. Right. That was my thinking. Maybe this is something we can use against them if we find out whatever it is. But they're afraid of the undead and this is kind of a zombie land. But we don't know that for sure. But where are the zombies coming from?

And is that it? There could be a crazy lich at the end of this that's controlling all these people. I don't know. And he could bear the end of this that's controlling like you know all these people and like I don't know and he could be bear the ring of gax which is look to be honest I think that we need to move on I think that your our arguments are made and pretty good and

will is with Nestor I think I'm low would be with Baron and not with going deeper and so it sits with you guys it's not an official vote yet but you but Baron and Della. I can see you guys like... Done and done. And if Baron, your vote is to leave,

then we leave. And I can see you guys saying, why don't we sleep on it? Why don't we sleep on it? You know? Yeah. And let's... We're having...

We're just like still hot from battle. No, yes. Look, we'll have a nice sleep. If anyone has any prophetic dreams, we'll take those into account as well, and then we'll vote in the morning. My prophetic dream says, Stella was right. I just need one hour in the morning to pray on my spells.

Right. That's all. Yeah, so if we do that, I was actually thinking about this earlier. If we do that, then I would say, I think that's a good idea, Nestor. Let's change the subject. Let's lighten the mood a bit. When we first came into this beautiful valley, you had told me that you had seen better. You told me of beautiful places.

And staring down this winding valley of undeath, I think that I could use a tale of a beautiful place. Where have you been? Well, i've been around a bit i've been around you know can you describe one of these places i believe it would lighten my heart well we'll see um yeah since you asked nicely uh i was at one point i had been uh i'd run afoul of the authorities in Magnamar, and so I signed on with the crew of the Harpy's Shriek under Black Tom Boneway, Captain Black Tom Boneway. And he, now look, and I have some... Improv, you're a no-no. What does it say to me?

I have some experience with people like this, and let me tell you, he was a nasty fucker. Like, for me, to me, I was like, oh, God, this P is over the edge. So, you know, so it was back and forth, like, to the shackles, you know. And so we would skirt around the eye of a bed nigger, which I don't know if you know it. I don't. Well, it's this massive constant

typhoon there in the ocean. Hundreds of miles across. And we'd skirt the edge of it and I'd look at it and you could see it. I'd go to the crow's nest and I'd watch it as we skirted around. And and you see the lightning

and the wind and the waves battered the ship even miles away as we were and just that raw power that merciless uncaring destructive ability that would destroy anything that came close to it without thought, without judgment. That was beautiful to me. And also, I was in West Crown. It was a very nice kind of Baroque architecture. That was nice as well. Will is just thinking,

that didn't exactly lighten my heart. No, I don't think it would. But... Wait. No, no, just internally. He appreciates the story. He appreciates the story. Go back to the typhoon.

So do you just skirt it around it? Yeah. Risking death? Well, that's how you get to the shekels, milady. I mean, it's dangerous. That's a very dangerous part of the sea. And there's a reason why it's mainly populated by pirates. It's because they're mad.

They don't care much for their own safety, you see. But it can be very lucrative because there are lots of farther east towards Gurund. It can be very lucrative because there are lots of – farther east towards Gurund, there are some very old, very prosperous trading ports with traffic that can be raided to great effect. That aside, that does sound like a lot of fun. It's a pirate life, love. Not the pirating part, but the seventh wonder of the world Nature thing Yeah No you'd like it I know you would like it Because it's very unusual

And it's the sort of thing That it's a once in a lifetime thing And it really can be Because you get too close It kills you Sounds almost like the world wound In a way Yeah

I was thinking It was like It is sort of like that Only there's nothing coming out of it You get sucked in Only things going in And never coming back Exactly So is that maybe I was thinking it was like, it is sort of like that, only there's nothing coming out of it. You get sucked in. Only things going in and never coming back. Exactly.

So is it maybe it's like they get sucked in there and they get shot up out of the world wound? Well, I'll tell you, there is a fear of those that go into the world wound. It's very pressing that they'll never come back. I'm sure, yeah. I've seen, I've done that many times, go somewhere and never come back. Yeah, you're a traveller. I'm a traveller. Yeah, you're a traveler. I'm a traveler. Yeah.

I'm a rambler. And as you guys talk about this, there's that elephant in the room that we was talking about that that could be the story for one of you in Minderhall's Valley. Yeah. Minderhall's Valley is one of those places.

Minderhall's Valley is a typhoon. It's a whirlwind. It's a place where people, this group, may go and never come back. And never be seen again. Starting a hell of a precedent by doing this because it just opens it up. But damn it, Skip, that was good.

You did well. Yay! All right. Sitting on three. How you can just sit there with no notes and come up with, what was it, Black Tom what? Well, I should say that Black Tom Boneway because that, I don't know if you remember reading

my character in our Jade Regent. Oh. That was the ship that my character in our Jade Regent that was the ship that our that my character in Jade Regent was on that wrecked are you connecting your character's backstory

to your other character's backstory yeah so Nester so that ship wrecked and Nester thinks that he was the only survivor of that wreck when in reality

EK was the other survivor oh yeah I do that too I attach oh that's fun in a way the backstories of the characters between campaigns. So it is like Lost. He was in the back of the boat and Will was in the front.

Yeah, and he knew Ike was there. He knew there was some great beast below decks that everyone was terrified of. But Black Tom had it in for him. See, guys, if you're at home and you're like, I'm really enjoying listening to this story and these guys, these nerds, roll dice, you have to understand, this is the greatest game ever created. And this is why. Yeah, yeah.

But that's just something I love, too, about playing all these different adventure paths with different characters. It's like they start in specific years. Yeah. Like based on the year that the adventure was published. Exactly. It's chronological from Rise of the Runelords all the way to the end. Yeah, exactly. So Rise of the Runelords, like we're playing, Grant and I are playing in Rise of the Runelords now,

Matthew's sitting in. So those characters, like we haven't finished the game, but by this year that adventure has concluded and those characters, assuming they survive and were successful are heroes now. They're like legendary heroes. And so there's this kind of continuity this world that you create

among just your peers of like events that have happened in the world involving your characters. It's a fun like many universes thing, right? Exactly.

Think of all the different Rise of the Runelords that have fed into all the different giant slayers. It's so cool. And ours is unique. Ours is unique to us.

They've done what they've done. Yeah, you can't even compare it to the attempts of video games like Mass Effect and stuff like that, which are great. And they have world-changing things that some players did one thing, some players did another, and that carries over. And we think that's amazing. You cannot even begin to compare to the mechanics nothing because what you can do in pathfinder yeah to connect stories over time limit great spans of history and become celebrities and change the

whole world it's amazing yeah i mean i was just thinking about this before when you were like think of the story of umlo and i was like yeah but think of all the like thousands of others of stories of umlo yeah The many lives of Umlo. I want to say that ours is probably the best. This is the best you can hope for? I agree. It is the only Umlo that has Norgrem's scale hands.

And heart spit. And the nail scale of Umlo. I'm beginning to wonder if we aren't in the darkest timeline. They could be. There is a timeline where Umlo just got to go back and be a cook. Yeah. With his still living sister. Happily opening his own restaurant.

Yanderhoff doing his thing. He has to work really hard, but his dwarf children are going to dwarf college. Yeah, at this rate, he is having no kids. No. So it's very interesting. yeah at this rate he is having no kids no so it's very interesting you had this you know another harrowing experience

that you came out on top of a little bit worse for the wearer certainly for one of your characters and you're sitting around the campfire and despite any disagreements that you guys have had

either between Baron and Will Will and Della Nestor and everybody you know the party this new party which isn't that new anymore

is really starting to come together. And it couldn't be a better time for it to happen as you get deeper into the valley and closer to what could be the greatest danger you've ever faced. You don't even know. It's that unknown. Like all the conversations you have about which way should we go, which way should we go, it always ends up being Nestor saying, we have no idea. Just choose and hope for the best. And so that's what you did here. And now you guys go to bed for the night,

say we'll talk about this in the morning, and you wake up in the morning, and it's just a gray, gray day. The ash trees above on the slopes are still like from time to time, anytime a big breeze comes through, just making it rain this sooty snow on you when is when nestor wakes up there is the arrow that he shot della with is floating in the air right above his

eye oh wow like that moment of goodfellas when when really it works up with a gun in his face yeah and della's just sitting there controlling it with her mind. Oh. It's like... Remember this? Yeah. No, I remember. And clearly you do as well. And she makes it raise up and then like zoom down and stop right in front of his eyeball. Oh.

You're playing a dangerous game, love. It's the only kind of game I play, apparently. And she drops the arrow like in his chest. It's the only kind of game I play, apparently. And she drops the arrow in his chest. And you pick it up and you see that she's also arcane marked it with her rune on the arrowhead. Oh. Think of me when you shoot that, will you?

I will. But bear in mind, I now have an arrow with your name on it. And I put it in my equipment. Oh. So now it's just a bleak day, and you wake up. The best day of the Inheritor Will ever had. One you'll certainly never forget. Honestly, it was his most heroic ever.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, he killed an undead giant in one blow. He's starting to feel like, oh man, I'm getting the hang of this. So, what do you guys decide to do? Do you continue forging forward as Nestor and certainly Sir Will would like to do, finish what we started. We decided to go down this way,

let's keep going. Or do you follow Baron's original advice and Della's newfound thoughts as well as Umlo's newfound thoughts that what is the point of going this way? We know what's here. Let's go back and go north.

I think that Baron is, as the sheriff, appropriately enough, has the deciding vote. Now, Baron had very bad, foreboding thoughts about this and thought, if we can barely stand toe-to-toe with giants so we've been successful thus far if a whole bunch of them can't go in here and help to survive what hope do

we have but at the same time he's somewhat moved and he thinks he might have been even slightly manipulated by nester's story of skirting the edge of the typhoon and to make that journey. Because the reason you make that journey is because on the other edge of it is some lucrative kind of rewards. So I think you want to see what's on the other edge of the hill this way.

Take a peek. See if we can get a little bit more. I have to re-prepare my spells. I thought you were going the other way. No, you can't. I haven't spent the hour yet. I spent an hour in the morning praying.

Nice try. That would have been great. No, it would have been terrible. Well, yeah, for you. Not for the fans. Let me go on record saying that it really doesn't make sense for me to say that based on my whole character i disagree i mean something grant wants to but something but i like that there's something in the in nestor's story that made you change your mind it felt like he was making um a sly uh allegorical parallel situation to what we were going through and the way his eyes kind of if you overlook the fact that the most beautiful thing to

him was this uh emotionless taker of life that he stared into was beautiful the the other part of the story about how you know you got to these great riches if you got there. And that's why lots of people did it. But then again, his ship crashed and he thinks he's the only survivor. So. Right. I just want to see. I want to get to a clearing.

See if we can get some sort of maybe there's another stone tower like Nargrimsteel's hand's tomb. And if we don't see anything, we turn back. No, let's just see. Thank you for changing your vote, della is as my old dad used to say uh no risk no reward so there della is using two points from arcane pool today oh to prepare two extra spells well to use spells i don't know have my book baron has also decided at the beginning of this day to use an infiltrator archetype skill. Oh, so this is the archetype you took for your Inquisitor. Yes.

Infiltrator. You took an archetype? Yes, I did. You didn't mention that before, right? No, I didn't. That was the first time. So you were the infiltrator archetype. Yes. trader archetype yes and so what what i traded out was monster lore and um that's a cool one the

other one that uh guile full stare um so what i can do is not only can i cast spells from an opposing alignment i can much like uh demon's blood detect if people sense me as a different alignment than what i am so i'm going to detect as chaotic evil as we go through this valley oh interesting and hopefully what is going on in my mind is that i'm thinking back to gristle crack and the other groups of giants who are trying to prove themselves to the storm tyrant i'm trying to make them think that if someone some force were to detect or is coming towards them that they would think that I was a giant with a group of captives in tow, which would be all your alignments.

See, sir, Will? That's cool. By any means necessary. It's starting to become clear to Will. So off you guys go. Della? Amlo? Sorry, guys.

Della under protest. In the morning, Will is going to pray for protection from Iomadai, and he's going to pray for the spells to be able to cast Detect Undead, which would allow him in a 60-foot radius to tell if something is going to, like, come alive that seems to be dead or something.

And a spell called Veil of Positive Energy, which I've never seen before, but it's a paladin spell, and it just gives you a bonus to AC and any undead that hits you, I have to look it up, but takes damage or something bad happens to them. The veil of positive energy. Also, the other

reason why I'm doing this is because I still think back to when we were invading Redleg Fort and we never went into the middle tower that Skid wanted to go into I wanted to go into we're side questing

side questing we don't have a drop for that but I wish we did so you guys continue forward down the valley the stream following the stream all of us are like we as players really wanted to check this out but we're probably all going to die

you guys continue down and the valley widens at some places it thins at others but the stream continues and Baron with your natural passive survival skill can tell

that you are going south you're starting to go more south than east passive survival skill can tell that you are going south. You're starting to go more south than east at a certain point. So you're going deeper into the valley, but going south, south, south, south, south. And eventually, the valley ends.

The stream ends. And high above the valley, at the end, stands a massive facade Carved Into the side of the cliff Of simple design It consists of Four colossal

Tapering pillars Flanking a dark opening In the mountain wall Come on I Matus. I do like dark openings. This bodes well. It's like 120 feet off the ground. Oh, wow.

Pillars, dark opening. And just sheer walls up to it? Sheer walls up. It looks like it's climbable. It's not going to be super hard. You mean like mountain climbing? There are footholds and handholds that you could get up there. But there's no stairs carved into the mountain.

There's no stairs. How are we going to get Lexington up there? Just below the doorway, it seems like there's white stains all over the... Oh, that's where the Drakes live. Guano. Many of the surrounding rocks. Oh, that's where the drakes live. All of the... Guano.

Many of the surrounding rocks. On the floor below this dark passageway, like level to where you guys are as you approach, you keep your distance because you see rotting carcasses of two large dragon-like creatures covered in long spines. Huh. Hmm.

Was that like spines that shot. Hmm. What is that? Like spines that shot out of a porcupine or something? No, it's just a dragon-like creature that you've never seen before. But its flesh is still on it, rotting away? It's rotting away, but you see a spine. It's not a skeleton? No. Okay.

It's just, it's a dragon-like creature you haven't quite seen before, and this one... And two of them? Two of them. Is there any coloring to the skin? Gray. What's left of the skin is grayish. Is there a knowledge check I could do on those?

Sure. Hold on a second. You walk up to them? Exactly. Is this a time for detect undead? Mm. Mm. Yeah, undead dragons.

Nailed it. Can we do it? Can you do it? I don't know. I don't believe I can think of a better time. They seem to be lying there dormant. Yeah. Though I can only do this once per day.

But it does seem to be. Well, this is a good time to do it. It's an Orison for me, so I can just do it. Oh, we'll let him do it. Detect undead? Yeah. Oh, that's great. Well, why didn't you tell me that before I prayed?

God! Why did you have to say that? God! Just switch it out. So, Baron, you detect undead? Mm-hmm. Joe's so disappointed. Nothing.

So you're W. Oh, great. Well, that's wonderful. I have the most useless character of all time. Detect evil? You don't detect any evil. How far away are the dragons from us? 40 feet.

They're dead. Can I do a knowledge check from over here, or do you want me to go up and inspect them? Oh, you've got to get right up and... I want to tremor sense the ground first to see if anything is alive nearby. Nothing. So you can feel confident that they are dead. Let's check them out. Bugs flying above

it, eating the carcass. Yeah, it's this large creature. Two of them. Gray with gray-black spines coming out of it. Go ahead and roll a knowledge

What is it for dragon creatures? Arcana. Spines coming out of it. Go ahead and roll a knowledge. What is it for a dragon creature? Arcana. 29. It is a creature known as a Spire Drake. Gaunt body, legs, bat-like face, covered in long spines, two wings stretched from out its torso, and they are dead. Cause of death.

Can I do a heal check? Sure. Great. Let me just get my heal. 15. It looks like they were killed with a combination of blunt and sharp weapons. Weapons? Mm-hmm.

Hmm. I thought maybe... Do they have natural enemies? Not that you would know. Is there a knowledge check we could do to see what they normally do in this valley? No. I mean, Medela's already told you there's drake nests everywhere. Sure.

But this, you know, is carved above you, 120 feet above. This tower is carved. Perhaps this was once a hold of these drakes, but was taken over by this undead blight. Maybe they killed the drakes and took over their lair. Are drakes really skilled at masonry? Not to my knowledge. Della, I believe you can fly. Can to my knowledge. Del, I believe you can fly. Can you not?

I can. I believe you can. Well, here's what I was thinking. If we all want to go in there, I really should cast Fly on Lexington and climb myself, because Lexington can't fly. Yeah, but Will can't climb. He could ride the flying wolf, couldn't he?

I don't think the wolf can... Does it have points in fly? The wolf? Yeah. Lexington would have to have points in the skill fly to be able to do anything. No, I think if you cast fly, all you need to do is be able to walk. No, you would have to have points in fly to be able to maneuver. But if he's just trying to get up, he can just ride a 45-degree angle.

Yeah, that's fine. If he was trying to use it in flight so he could turn 180 degrees or attack at 45, then you get a real fight. What's the, looking at it, what would be the DC? It's going to be probably a DC 15 climb check to get. You have to be able to hit that. I have a grappling hook. Depending on how bad you do. So you can add, what do you add, 5 to that with a grappling hook?

Or ten? Five sounds good. But the point is, depending on how bad you fail to check, you fall at a random thing I determined. I can guarantee myself up there. Yeah, you can just do touch of law. I'm going to touch of law myself and claim her up there. You said DC 15?

DC 15. You can guarantee Della. I'll guarantee Della. How many touch of laws do you get?. You could guarantee Dela. Oh, me too. How many Touch of Laws do you get? Six a day. So boom, boom, boom to Nestor, boom to Dela. You guys have at least a plus four to your climb. And then what's Amlo's? He's Amlo.

He's Amlo. What is it now? Minus one, minus two, minus three now. He's got strength damage. Okay, so what's their will climb check? Minus one. minus two, minus three now. He's got strength damage. Okay, so could you get... What's their will climb check? Minus one. Oh, and...

We could drop a rope down from there. Lexington might be able to get you up there. What's his climb? Lexington's going to fly. Lexington can't climb up all handholds with will on his back. Listen, I don't know what Lexington can and can't do. He is a magical wolf. He is a magical wolf.

He can walk downstairs. I don't know what's next. and can't do. He is a magical wolf. He is a magical wolf. He can walk downstairs. I don't know what's next. Walk downstairs? I can do anything. What's next? Far be it from me to hamper Lexican's movement. All right, so... Once we get up there, I want to drop down a rope to aid them.

Okay, but I'm low and Sir Will are... Let's find out what the rope is. It's a DC-5. DC-5. Once you drop a rope. So you get 10. I still... You can't...

You weigh, what, 40 pounds? Well, I guess with heavy armor, you weigh more. You can't ride Lexington while he flies up? Put him in the bag. Don't look at me. Look at Troy. He makes the call. How much weight can you lift with Fly?

Put him in the bag of holding. Hold on. Stick his head out. That would be amazing. Well, no, but I can touch a lot of everyone once we drop the rope down. But it's not a guaranteed pass for Wheeler on the... Once the rope is down, it is. Once the rope is down. Oh, okay.

Ah, okay. So you could... How long does touch a lot last? Let me look that up. Oh, that's right. You have to make multiple climb checks. 120 feet. It's one round.

I'm letting it happen. It's one round. You can put the wolf and Will into the bag. I think they have like 10 minutes before they suffocate or something. It's one round. It's one round. All right. So, yeah, you can't do it.

Not even close. So, Umlo and Sir Will may just stay down. Each of you guys, the fastest moving among you can move 15 feet. So you would need to do like eight checks. I mean, I'm literally going to let you roll it once. They're going to make it automatically because of such a flaw. I'll climb up last. Della lets down a rope with Nestor.

Then I touch the two that can't climb very well. They get up. Right. The problem is that what Joe is saying is you climb at a quarter speed. So that's the only touch of law only lasts for one round. You have to roll every single check. Right. And I'm not going to do that on air because it's going to be a pain in the ass.

But the point is you need to find a way to get Sir Will and Amlo up there or they can't go. The point is you need to find a way to get Sir Will and Amlo up there or they can't go. I believe the point is that these adventurers would not be able to go into this place as a party. You would look at this 120-foot sheer cliff with a hole in the middle and be like, well, that's a dead end. I mean, some of you can absolutely get up there, but I don't think the whole party can get up there. It's just absurd. We also have Reginald. We're not mountain climbers. Once again, why don't we put him in the fucking bag?

I just don't know how that works. Can you carry... Put him in the thing. It's a huge bag. There's plenty of room. Can you carry a 100-pound bag up while you're climbing? Yeah. He's got the muleback cords.

It's factored into his... I've already put him up there. I'm a light load now. So you can one-hand a 100-pound bag while using the mule bag cords. It's factored into his I'm going to light load now. So you can one hand a 100 pound bag while using the rest of your hands. I'm assuming we fashion some sort of straps or something. We could also hoist the bag up. Right. We tie off the bag.

We could fit both of them in there. Sir Will, what do you think about this? Up to 1,500 pounds. Wouldn't be the first time I was luggage. That's a good answer. All right, so let's try that then. I don't see any reason you can't put a person in a bag of holding. Yeah.

I mean, it fits 450 cubic feet, which is bigger than my apartment. It's four feet by six feet in size. That's the exterior of the bag. Yeah, exterior of the bag. So you just shove yourself in there and you basically go into a... Extradimensional space. And you do have, I think it's like 10 minutes until the air runs out. And then you start suffocating.

But, you know, that probably won't be an issue. Baron opens up. It won't be at that probably won't be an issue. Baron opens up. It won't be at that speed, at that climb speed. Yeah, yeah. All right, I don't see any reason that you can't do it. This is insane. I love it. So you put Sir Will and Umlo and Lexington in the bag of holding?

Yeah. Right before Sir Will climbs into the bag, he looks at Della, and he's like, by any means necessary, and climbs into a fucking bag of holding. She salutes him and ties the bag up. He's looking up at her like Is there a secluded

like cove in the cliff face where we can leave Reginald so he's not in plain view or she's not in plain view? The cliff, the valley ends and it's just straight wood. Drake food. Before we do this, Adele's going to walk Reginald back into the woods

and kind of tie him off with a long lead. Tie her up. So that she's not in the open waiting for Drake to eat her. All right, fair enough. So you guys get up there ridiculously with touch of law i mean honestly it's it's one it's one of these things it's like it's there are handhelds and stuff so if you can make a dc-15 climb check you're fine and so i'm gonna just hand wave it making you do hx is ridiculous

so i've cast it three times touch of law today so you're all up there. And you see in front of you a circular cavern. I immediately open the bag unless you're still describing. Okay, so they come out. Maybe they should stay in.

You guys come up and you're surrounded by these long, those four pillars. And beyond the facade is a broad, rough-hewn cavern with an arched ceiling. In the center of the cavern stands a great slab of stone. Huge bones. Not medium. Not large.

Huge. Bones lie scattered around the slab amid broken shards of reddish clay. A shelf-like groove cut into the cavern wall runs around the entire perimeter of the chamber and is littered with a variety of dusty, giant-sized baubles. variety of dusty, giant-sized baubles. In the back of the room, behind the slab, you just see all sorts of shit, branches, and more of these baubles

all sort of piled up in the back behind the slab. What do you do? Well, now the word... Can we do an engineering check to see who built this place? Absolutely.

And are we alone? Ten. Ten. Touch of law. I'll roll. Engineering? Yeah. Ten.

Yeah, I mean, it had to have been built by a pretty big creature, a big intelligent creature. It's not like the prettiest colony we've seen. It wasn't the sort of architecture you saw at the chapel, even though that was dilapidated through time. But it's huge. Those white spotches you mentioned earlier, now that we're up closer, what are they? It is guano. Guano, okay. And can knowledge nature to see what kind of guano, what kind of animal made it?

It's the same animal as you would think. Oh. So those bat-like spire greggs were killed from their nest, and now there's something else roosting in there? Yeah, there might be something else. Taking up residence? Yeah, that's what I think. Della leans over to Will

and Baron and wants to know, are we alone? Oh. And Baron touches the ground to sense 60 feet around him. Any sort of movement? You don't sense any movement? Will retconned the detect undead which baron would have told him was yes and i need to prepare sure sure and uh he so if you want to do

detect and as an orison yep you can do that all right we'll detect undead so 60 feet uh if there's any undead there troy you don't detect any undead there. Troy? You don't detect any undead. And I will detect evil for 60 feet. And you don't detect any evil. How far back is the... Detect magic? You detect plenty of magic. In fact, you detect a very, very strong aura of magic from the back of the chamber. How far back is it?

The length of the chamber itself is probably 50, 60 feet. Okay. I would like to... My idea here is there's going to be go in and investigate. If that's the plan in any way. Will's idea is to stay at the mouth of the cave, facing out, and keep an eye on anything coming back to the place.

So if other people are going in, he's going to be there to shout a warning. The pillars are. Yep. He's looking out at the valley below to see if anything is coming. He's going to stay there. Okay. There's no point in him investigating magic. He's not going to know. Well, just tell me what everybody else is doing. Is anybody staying with Will or are the rest of you

fanning into the room? I'm going to try to... Nesty's going to try to get between... equidistant between the mouth of the cave where Will is fanning into the room. I'm going to try to... Nesty's going to try to get equal distance between the mouth of the cave where Will is and the back of the cave. So by the slab. Yeah, so by the slab

so he can cover. And I'm going to check. I'm going to do a... Trap check? Yeah, I'm going to do a perception check on the slab there. And I'm going to take out my sword

as opposed to the spear. Oh, okay. Instead of the lance. Oh, there you go. Yeah. So that's a 33 perception, 37 against traps. You don't detect any traps. But now that you move closer to this slab, you see that clearly these were giant bones. You know giant bones when you see that clearly these were giant bones. You know giant bones when you

see them. And your eyes bug out of your head as you see amid all these branches is like treasure. Whoa! Serious treasure. Now you see why.

Stella immediately runs up to Nestor's side to make sure he doesn't take anything. Oh, right. Baron... No offense. Narco. Narco over here. Baron equips, by the way, his dragon's breath.

Ah, so Baron equips dragon's breath. Has it drawn? Has it drawn and has it loaded with a alchemical, Dragon's Breath. Very good idea. Draws it? Has it drawn? Has it drawn and has it loaded with a alchemical cartridge, Dragon's Breath. Will is going to ready an action. If he sees any danger coming, he's going to enact his divine armor. So with the 33 perception check, what sort of treasure? You would have to move into the back of the room to start

digging. Oh, it's in the back. It's in the back. All that treasure stuff is mixed in with the branches and stuff. It's in the back. But there's stuff all along the walls as well, but you see that there's like a mass of stuff that's been collected in the branches in the back. Shall we? You know, actually

I'm going to stay here just so I can cover everything. I trust you not to steal anything. I mean, I hope that you would be able to share whatever you get and not pocket anything. But I trust you. What are Baron and Umlo doing? Umlo is very interested in going deeper into the cave and picking through what treasure may be here. Okay.

I loves me some treasure. I am a dwarf. We are dwarves. We love delving deep into cliffside mountains and finding treasure. And Umlo, you stay with us. Della's going to go up to look at the stuff. Okay, so Della and Umlo go up to look at the stuff. Baron?

Looking for... I'm next to probably... Yeah, okay. Go ahead and go in here. All right, so Baron, Umlo, and Della go straight to this branches and stuff full of treasure. Nestor, who's the one that sees it first, stays back behind the slab,

and then way at the mouth of the cave is Sir Will. Della, Umlobaran, you see gold, you see platinum, you see silver, you see copper. Della, you are you are, um, what's the word I'm looking for? Sensing the presence of some of the greatest

magic you've ever felt in your life. Uh, can I do a perception check for traps among the branches and everything, just make sure this isn't booby trapped? You sure can. 25. Doesn't appear to be trapped.

So we'll roll a perception check. 16. 16. 16. You hear them in the background, just kind of looking around. And sure enough, they're in the distance. Uh, dragon! He calls back into the tunnel! As this creature comes swooping towards the ground.

Oh, man! Oh, no! Similar to the two that were dead below. Roll for initiative. Oh, baby! Yes! Yes! I'm so glad we came this way.

Can I get my... My readied action off? Yeah, you readied an action and you Just enact the armor as well. Yeah, that's fine. You get a surprise round. That's your surprise round. Oh, baby! Does it do a laugh at us?

Oh, shit. Oh, this thing is Oh, that's not so great i just wet myself all right who's over 20 21 for della oh all right low low rolls here 30 30 whoa yes again 30 natural 20 on this natural 20 baron what you get 20 20 and w21 you said 21 okay you guys are unbelievable sir well i rolled a natural 16 was like 18 i'm in good shape last one to go in the park uh 13 umlo has a 13 all right this thing just kind of it's about 40 feet away from you, Sir Will. You enact your armor. Round one.

Nestor. Nestor. He's going to quick draw his bow. Take two arrows out. Take a five-foot step to his right so he gets a clear shot. And take his first attack. 18. Miss. Second attack. Miss. 18 miss

second attack miss so Nestor just turns around quick good thing he stayed where he stayed nice shot off Della is Sir Will 30 feet from Nestor I can't see him looks like he is yeah fuck

yeah this is my chance to get my fucking sneak attack and this is about fuck Del is gonna cast haste all of us are affected oh my god that is that didn't I I told you to take that right so you said that on Nestor

and it spreads out from there oh yeah if you do that yes I can do one creature per level none of none of which can be more than 30 feet apart. We're all within 30 feet of another one. Do you have to touch them or no? No, no, no. Oh, so you're good.

All right, let's talk about haste. We've never had haste in this game. It's the best spell ever. You've got some explaining to do. I think he does. I do. He did tell me to take it. It's been a while.

He's got some explaining to do. It is time for Nerdy. So haste speeds up all of your actions. a while. So haste speeds up all of your actions. I think you get an extra 40 feet of movement. Oh god, I pulled the spell. Hang on. You get an extra, so you get a certain, a lot of extra movement. 30 feet of

extra movement. 30 feet of extra movement. And on a full attack action, you get one extra attack at your highest attack bonus. Wow. Plus one to attack rolls, plus one dodge bonus to AC and reflexes. That as well. So you get all of it. It's not like blessing and fervor.

Blessing and fervor, right. And actually, isn't haste? No, it isn't. Never mind. Haste is a great spell. Haste is awesome and I think that you're fatigued after it's over? Or that used to be true.

Oh, it's like doing cocaine. Yes, exactly. It doesn't say. Hold on. It might not be. I like second edition that was true. I don't know if it... All right.

Well, while you look that up, Baron, you're up. You're very far away. Oh, and Del is going to move, you know, 30 feet closer to the door and to the left. Or towards, yeah. Wait, straight or you want to hide? I want to hide.

Okay. Baron is going to actually, now that he's hasted and feels just this surge of being able to do stuff, he's going to put away the dragon pistol. Oh. All right. And pull out the old double barrel because with the double barrel

he can take four attacks now. Oh yeah. Alright so you sheathed the gun. That's a move action. You drew this one. That can be a free action. Oh no that's part of a move action. Whatever you want. You want to just drop the gun, probably.

You want to drop the ragapist. Well, if he wants to move. Otherwise, it's... It's not in range anyways. I'll stay in place for the time being, and then I know that I can move 40 feet next round and move a lot more than I could. All right, so you switch guns.

I don't get the full 30 feet bonus because it can only at max double your base move speed. All right, so you switch guns. That's your round. Yep. Okay. Sir Will. Sir Will is... He's got the face of a bat. Yeah, and he shouts back to the party, Dragon!

And he looks down and he's like, Lexington, ready yourself! And he raises the sword and I would like to do this. Don't know if I can. I want to ready. I'm sorry. It's a swift action. He's going to challenge the creature and say, like, bring it.

And in the hip hop sense. And he will. I want to ready an action, but fighting defensively. So I want to fight defensively, but ready an action to when it comes in range. Swing at it with my long sword. Okay. And it is its turn. Standing where it's standing, it, like, rears

back and just sends out this compressed ball of jet black dust. Oh, no. Let me make sure there's not an attack roll for this. Is it ash? It's not ash. He spits it right in the direction of, like, in the middle of Della and Nestor and Sir Will.

And it explodes into just these black motes that try to begin covering you. All three of you roll a will save. A will save? Will save. Wow? Will save. Wow. Will save. That's not going to go well. I'm going to turn in my bottle cap on this.

Turn it in your bottle cap? Turn it in the old bottle cap. And I got an 8 and a natural 20. Alright, success. 12. 26 for Della. 26. All right. Success. 12. 12. 26 for Della.

26 for Della. And a natty 19 for Lexington. Oh, I can't forget about Lexington. All right. So Nestor is the only one that failed. Okay. That's not good. Nope.

Not at all. He's the only one I wish didn't fail. Yeah, seriously. I should have used the bottle cap. You could trade in all three of yours for... Is this Nestor's death music? Well, by definition. Oh my dear sweet sheepers.

Just forget about that die that you dropped. Oh, I rolled a six. Damn! Just forget about that die that you dropped. I rolled a six. Damn. All right. Nestor takes 23 points of negative energy damage. Oh. And Sir Will Lexington and Della. Wait, how much? 23.

Okay. Sir Will Lexington and Della take 12 points of damage. 11. 11. That's fair. 12 points of damage. 11. 11.

That's fair. And Nestor also takes a minus two penalty on attack rolls, saving rolls, skill checks, and ability checks for three rounds. Oh, Jesus. These motes, these dark motes are just clinging to you, and it's slowing you down and making you less effective. This breath just... And all these motes spread out. And it did its damage, but it affected Nestor the worst. It then

flies out of the area of the ranged characters. So only Sir Will has line of sight on it right now. And we're inside of an enclosed space right which has an arched ceiling so we want to draw it in there probably that would be best

and hope that it's stupid alright, Umlo Umlo is going to move to like the middle of the cave there next to Nestor and he is going to, there the middle of the cave there, next to Nestor. And he is going to... There's nothing he can do to help Nestor, right? That damage is done.

There's no heal checks to be done. There's no help to be given. No. And as long as those motes cling to Nestor, any healing is halved for Nestor. So can he roll a check to try to pull the motes off of him? No. It's just going to wear off of him? No. It's like,

it's just going to wear off in a few rounds. Okay. You can move an additional 15 feet if you want. I don't really see the point. Nestor, the best way I can explain this

is you feel like your spiritual strength is draining. Yeah. Well, it wasn't all that to begin with. Yeah, Umlaut's just going to ready an action. If the thing comes in, he'll stab it

within 15 feet. Alright, so Umlo comes up right in the area where that awful thing just happened. Round two, Nestor. Yeah, I think... This really sucks. Tough one. I can't believe the other three of you all passed.

It was a pretty high save. Natural 18. I'm just going to hold. Yeah. That's not bad. Joe, thank you for turning in your bottle cap. I want this thing lured into the cave. Yeah, that's the route Baron's taking.

You know what? Actually, I'll wait till my turn. Okay. It is Della's turn. How tall are the ceilings in here? It arches up, so it goes at its tallest point, it's probably 50 feet, 60 feet high.

Della's going to cast Fly on herself. Okay. She's going to take off flying, and she's also going to yell out towards the door in draconic. Oh! Dope. We're stealing your treasure, and we'll kill you, and we're just going to take it and leave.

I love it. That's awesome. Yeah, that's what she sounds like. Yeah. Yeah. Sir Will is very impressed. Those old Hanna-Barbera cartoons. Oh, yeah.

Like Herculoids. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Okay. So she's now above... She went up at a 45-degree angle. She's kind of flying up above the mouth of the door. Of course Della speaks Draconic.

All right, so Della flies... You fly forward? Yeah, I fly forward and up. So at a 45-degree angle. So you can't see it, right? Well, we're in an enclosed room, right? Right. You came in through the tunnel, and then it arched up.

So it's around the corner. So show me where you flew. Show me on the doll where you flew. Show me where it hurts. Yeah, I like what you're doing right now. My idea is to stay in the chamber and fly around there until it comes in. Okay, so you're right around there and you can kind of see a little bit of it.

Nobody has the line of sight. I think I can see it all. Oh, you're way up. Yeah, because the ceiling bowls up at the top. How long does haste last? It's a round per level. Per level, okay. Seven rounds.

Seven rounds. All right. And sir, excuse me, Baron. Baron's going to join his compatriots and step on the other side. A trap. Be right there. All right. So just to give you an idea, if you're listening along at home, what this room looks like.

You walk in and it just opens up into a big circle. Sir Will is standing at the edge, pretty much, of where the rock face just drops off. And behind him about 20 feet and up is Della. And then behind Della on the ground is Nestor and Umlo side by side. And 10 feet to the left of Nestor is Baron with his double-barreled pistol drawn. Sir Will, what do you do?

Sir Will is going to attempt to fast dismount Lexington. Fast dismount Lexington? He's going to attempt a fast dismount. Gets it. 27. So he dismounts as a free action. Kicks Lexington off the cliff. He slaps Lexington and is like, go deeper into the cave.

Go deeper into the cave. Okay, so Lexington takes off. So he dismounts Lexington. He'saps Lexington and is like, go deeper into the cave. So Lexington takes off. So he dismounts Lexington. He's in the next cave. And then he looks back at all the guys and assuming that this thing may by chance be common, not that it really matters.

He's going to turn back, look kind of wide-eyed at Baron, try to remember the exact wording, and just go Inichchal? Oh! Oh! Become a

human-sized, full-sized warrior in the front of this cave, and he's going to turn back, and he's going to turn back and he's going to say, load the bag with the treasure! Take it all! And turn to the dragon and say,

we're taking it all and leaving! And stand there and do total defense. Total defense. Well, you're going to need it because it's coming after you. Yeah, baby! All right. I never thought this day would come.

The internet has been abuzz. When is he going to use the power? When is he going to use it? Finally. It feels like the first... Fly-by attack. It's going to do one of these, sir, Will. It's going to come through, bite, and then swoop off this way.

So it just... Oh, man. Try to bite you. Just give you time. I'm serious. Load that shit up, because that's what's going to draw it in load that bag i can't can i take my turn like when i see it um oh yeah he held did you ready an action to shoot it when it flew no i held i held my action yeah you would have to ready for when it comes into sight uh but you can still take your action this turn if you

want to to move up to uh be in range of it. No. Alright, fly by attack, sir, Will. 22 to hit. Miss. Yeah! Lucky duck. Next time I'm doing vital strike. It swoops around and just tries to grab you. He dodges out of the way. Snap! Snaps right over his head. And he's like, oh my god, this is so weird.

I feel so big. Avlo, you're up. Does your AC get worse now that you're human-sized? Yeah, one point, but then it makes it up with the Righteous Might. And you got a boost from haste, too. Yeah, I got the boost from haste, and with the challenge and the armor, I have a

plus, I have a bonus. Plus the armor has DR when you mean HX, right? Yeah, so I have DR5, yeah. Wow. You'll need it for that drop. Umlo is going to say to Baron, like, give me the bag. Like, give me the bag. I want to fill it with all the treasure and throw it in.

You can grab it off my back, brother. He just rips it off his back. Okay. Pushes Baron to the ground. No. He just rips it off his back and starts like sweeping treasure. So he heads to the back and just... He's just sweeping treasure into the bag. Okay. Nice. That's very interesting. And he says

he says, do it. And let the dragon see you do it. He's got a brave heart. he does. You know, I was worried about the will save, or the fortitude save he had to roll later today while controlling Umlo, but now I have a whole different thing going on. All right, round three.

Nestor, you want to change tactics? What do you think? No, I'm hanging out. You're hanging out. You want to ready to see if it does another one to hit? No, I'm not readying an action. I'm going to take my full attack. Okay, I see what you're it. No, I'm not readying it, actually. I'm going to take my full attack. Okay.

I see what you're doing. Okay. Della. Della has to move her full movement, which is 120 feet. She zooms around? She's just going to keep circling. You have to keep flying? No, you can't.

I mean, to make a turn more than 45 degrees, you have to roll a fly check. The circle is not 45 degrees. It's not making 45 degrees. It's doing a curve. a fly check. The circle is not 45 degrees. How wide is this area? You can see it's getting less and less wide as you go towards the top.

It's pretty wide. It's a circle. I thought it was like 20 feet wide. You circle around the room. You're just waiting. Just getting slightly nauseous. Second. One round. She'll cast waiting. Just getting slightly nauseous. And she will... Second. One round. She will cast Cat's Grace.

Cat's Grace. Nice. Okay. Baron. Get back in. Oh, one has a free action on his turn that says, Come back, Will! Come back, big fella!

Del will also continue taunting the drake. I think that's a pretty consistent stream. Right, because you're the only one that's speaking to Baron. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're just taunting, taunting, taunting. We're taking all the treasure! All of it! And Sir Will, you can see it's reacting to Della. It can hear

Della speaking, and it's looking around for its dead friends, maybe. I thought those friends died! Who's talking in Draconic? We're going to donate the proceeds to anti-Drake causes! Baron, you're up. Lure it in here, Will. Get her done. And he readies an action,

which is if the Drake comes in, he's going to shoot it. If the Drake comes in, he's going to shoot it. Or if he sees it, I guess. If he sees it. It's too far away for me to really... Can you do the long shot, though?

Oh, right. No, yeah, I will cast... That's a great idea. I will cast long shot on myself as well. All right, so standard action, cast long shot. Sir Will. Sir Will is

he's just going to continue covering there. He's just going to keep come back? Yeah, draw him in. Draw him into the cave so I can start shooting. He'll move back 20 feet. You have 40 feet. Yeah. All right. He'll move back 20 feet.

You have 40 feet of movement. Yeah, but I don't want to double move. I want to have total defense. So he'll move back 20 feet. You still have 40 feet of movement. Yeah, because of the haste. You can go back as far as you want. Okay.

Put me wherever you want. And I'll do total defense. But I want to be in front of everyone. I want to be the first target. The first possible target. Okay. From the dragon. Della is up in the air.

She's not. Yeah, she's over somewhere. We want the Drake to have to come into the cave if he wants to attack you. I understand. But no more flyby attacks. Yeah, I get it. I get it. Okay.

And sure enough, on the Drake's turn, it comes swooping in and will attempt to do a vital strike on Sir Will. So will it! And yeah, we'll put... And then you guys can resolve. Anybody who held. That was just Nestor. Vital strike. There's big Sir Will.

No way to use that pawn. All right, let me activate my vital strike here. This is going to be a ton of damage if I can just hit. 26. Miss. Oh! By the way, yeah, no

one point of AC penalty and it has nothing to do with Righteous Might. It's just because I have a racial quality that I get plus one AC to bigger creatures. So, like, I lose that. Actually, you know what? I don't if it's a large creature. It's still bigger than you.

It's still one category larger than you. Yeah, it's still one category larger. That's why I think it's a large animal. Also, your movement was 60 feet, by the way. We forgot about that. That's insane. That taste is amazing. All right, Nestor, you want to go? I'm going to take my turn.

I'm going to take my bowstring looks. Now you can't. Oh, fuck. 17. That's a miss. Miss of the many shot. That's a miss. Miss of the many shot. Fuck, another miss. 24.

24? Yeah. Hits on the third final shot. All right. Oh, fuck! 14 damage. God damn. Nester's been on fire the last few Fs, 14 damage 14 damage Nester's been on fire the last few apps

And this one just couldn't get the bow off There's a lot going on it's a very tight little corridor He's trying to get these arrows through Umlo still shoving treasure in I mean is that viable Is there so much that he can keep shoving it in I mean we want all this fucking treasure There is a ton of treasure

You're like picking through, so you're reaching into the nest and you're pulling shit out. So I mean, you can full round action, just keep putting stuff in. Yep, he's gonna keep putting stuff in. Keep shoveling it in. We have a shovel.

I want all of it. Umlo's got crazy eyes, just seeing like gold. Jewels, gems. Jewels. Yeah. And Umlo pulls out a horn that is just this beautiful

ornate horn. Blow on it! Yeah! And it is round four. Della. Della is gonna circle around to use up her full movement until she has enough to dive down to attack the drake.

Dive down? Alright, so you have just enough movement to circle around and dive down. I mean, she has with the haste and the Drake. Dive down. All right, so you have just enough movement to circle around and dive down. I mean, she has, with the haste and the fly, yeah, she circles, because it's a fly check if you don't use your full movement. Right, right, right, okay.

So yeah, she's gonna zoom down, flaming scimitar. Bite the Drake? Yeah, bite the Drake. No, and swift action keen and shock it. Okay. And she's gonna come down and take a swing. Insane.

At the Drake. I love it. She's like flying full speed, Is this count as a charge? and she's going to come down and take a swing at the drake. She's like flying full speed. This would look so cool! Can it be a charge? Yeah, you can take your last whatever movement and go in a straight line and just like... Be careful, make sure you want to do that. What you get is a plus two

to hit on the attack. You get nothing else, but you also get a penalty to your AC. Okay, then I won't do that. It's probably not worth it. Okay, so a swing with the sim card. First things first, attack of opportunity. It goes to bite you. Vital strike. Still on. Oh, right.

That's right. Fuck. 27. Yeah, that hits. Hits. Oh, boy. Stay back! Alright. A couple things are gonna happen. Hits Del at four. Four D6s are going to happen. 24 points of damage and four points of negative energy.

Okay. So that cuts through any DR. Yeah. So essentially 28. 28. Okay. So that goes through the righteous mind. It would, yeah.

Oh, son of a bee! But now you are in melee with it. That is a 17 to hit. 17 misses. But you are now toe-to-toe with this thing. Will and Flying Della. Large Will. Human-sized Will.

Large Will! Big Will. Big Will's house. Big Willy style. Well, we have the name for this episode. Baron, you've got precise shot. You can get in there. There's a lot

of traffic. What are you going to do? I'm going to take four attacks. Yes! Kill it! All it takes is one-one. Yeah, please don't roll a one, dude. Oh, that is a hit. Oh, yeah. Where'd my D8 go? Where's my D8 at my time of... There's no D8s ever. This is the rarest

fucking die in all of our collections. Oh! Max damage. 18 on the first attack. Nice. Second attack. Boom! Hit, I think. 22 against touch it. 23 against touch it. That's a hit. Boom. 14 points of damage. Oh, touch it. That's a hit. Boom. 14 points of damage. Oh, man.

Just boom. Boom. Just peppering the drake. You see him turn the double-barreled pistol up with incredible alacrity, and he fills both of them with alchemical paper cartridges to go for the final two shots. Click, click. Hit. Yes.

Another hit. Boom. Yes. Max damage again. Oh, my. Last one is getting up close and deadly. Hit. Boom. Yes, max damage again. Oh, my. Last one is getting up close and deadly. Yes. That is not a hit.

Would you get the half damage? Is that a miss five for a three? Yes. I think it is. That's my thing. I said something. That means no multiple attacks next. So he takes three points of damage.

He takes three points on the graze. Yep. Or on a misfire, he still takes damage? Yes. Yeah, well. No, I mean, because a shot still fires. Shot fired off. So, which still to me doesn't make sense.

Right, it should just explode in your hand. Right. All right, that was Baron. Baron, hell of a round for Baron. Nice. Now he just sinks in your hand. Right. All right. That was Baron. Baron. Hell of a round for Baron. Nice. Now this thing's in here. Sir Will, what you gonna do?

So Willemette standing toe to toe with the drake. His first experience really being hand to hand with a dragon because he was close before but just got immediately

knocked unconscious. He's got his magical shield, Sophia, his mother gave him in his left hand. In his right hand, a full-sized longsword. 1d8 damage.

For the first time ever. He holds the longsword up for the rose and the light and strikes at the Drake, fighting defensively. And he does a 25. 25 hits. 25 to hit. Oh, I'm sorry. I also meant to say he smites evil.

So it might not be an evil creature, is it? It is an evil creature. Yes. So he smites evil as a swift actione and does 19 points of damage. Nice. Don't forget your extra attack for haste. Baby. I will not.

Second attack at full attack bonus for haste. 19 points of damage? 19 points of damage. Then 22 to hit on the second attack. 22 misses. Swings by, misses, and then third attack. 90-19 critical threat. Oh my god. I probably won't

confirm it because it's my lowest attack bonus. Yeah, does not confirm. Still a hit. That's a hit. What's the damage? The damage is 16 points of damage. And Sir Will. Giant Sir Will. Smite.

Kills the dragon! Spice it! Yes! Giant Sir Will! As Umlo holds a giant horn in his hand. Oh my god. Full of treasure. What kind of treasure?

We'll find out next week! Oh my god! For Hydery! For Hydery! Oh my god! Behind the ring! Behind the ring! Yay! Oh my god. Yes! Woo! That was awesome! Outro Music That was awesome

That was good You look like you just had sex What an image Just almost a shovel of treasures Yeah Giants are willed image. Just, Umlo just shoveling treasures. Ha ha ha! Boom, boom, boom, boom! Giant Sir Willis!

Ha ha ha! The third attack. And Della is just like flying circles around. Umlo is gathering, shoveling treasures. Oh god.